#also it's like... 4 AM when i'm writing this...

[digiblueslush]

I'm horrible at this in person but maybe I'll be good at this online lolz

also answering and yapping under the cut :3

The lie is the first one! But its not a full lie..... I'll talk about the other 2 first for the *suspension*

I do in fact have 3 kidneys, it's been my fun fact for years now haha. Though it isn't fun sometimes, I'm more prone to UTI's and they last much longer than normal, as well as occasional back pain where my extra kidney is. basically my right kidney has a smaller kidney attached but still mostly separated (like compartmentalized i guess) from it. They also both have their own ureter (the tube that connects your kidneys to your bladder) so I have 3 of those as well, and it's even less fun! because people don't usually have 3 ureters, the extra one attaches to my bladder wrong and has a blockage. over the years that extra kidney has kinda caught wind of that and has increasing gifted it's labor to my full right kidney, but it still gets used occasionally. This is usually a condition that's treated when your really young because the older you get, the more risk there is removing the extra kidney, or it isn't treated at all because majority of the time its asymptomatic. I am not looking forward to having to see a pediatric urologist at the ripe age of almost 20 haha

I was also in a menhera idol group for a period of time. it was uhhhhh. yikes. basically I posted a thing about wanted to make a menhera idol group on tiktok, and it got a decent amount of traction (used to have a cosplay account with a decent following). none of these people lived near me and half of them lived in a different country, but i had just downloaded project sekai and i had that idol spirit in me. We almost released a song, but thank god we didn't because the only good part was the instrumental. we all had shitty mics and nobody could write lyrics around the instrumental. they were all the same notes as the instrumental. It was a fun concept tho, and if it was better planned out and with actual people i think it would've been fun for a while

Now, the moment you've all been waiting for (unlikely). The lie is that I met Dan and Phil. I did meet someone from an airbnb cancellation, and it was GERARD FUCKING WAY. Basically my friend invited me to go with her to WWWYF, and our airbnb cancelled on us the week before we flew out. The only hotel in vegas that would let people under 21 check in was the 4 seasons, and we somehow managed to get a room there. The day of the festival (we only went to day 1) we went to their breakfast resturant and got seated. we were there for a bit when i started looking around and mister micheal romance was literally 2 tables away eating a bowl of fruit. I actually didn't want to approach at first, but my friend did so we waited until he was getting up to leave to not interrupt their meal (he was also there with one other person, I'm assuming either security or a stage person but he did look somewhat familiar) to say hi. we got a picture but its nothing id want to post, mans was just eating breakfast and i couldn't feel my hands. I think all i said to them was "thank you for existing" and then I cried at me and my friends table for 10 minutes from overstimulation lmao

Two Truths and One Lie

tagged by the lovely @skelewashere

No pressure tags!

@amariathe @thehollywoodnecromancer @yoza22 @shark-tranny @ning-ningx300 @southerngothhorror @afriendofblahaj @theasexualagent @enbypalsidk @woods3115 @hellishbound @someone-kill-the-ej @errornonamesleft @professional-lurker-42 @artisticfurby @estrogenlover @lesbianhouseplant @idonothavesex @justtransteenagerstuff @tigerfromthetiber @slugthatscreatures @purpleminusred @certifiedpurpledumbass @trans-fem-menace @uwathebestgirl @mossy-enigma @twinklefwinkle @boughtmender @n1cogiordano @newtidalwave @sp-chronom @eepysalamander @calliekoi95 @spaghettihell @imjunebitch @amorphousprimordia + anyone who sees this is tagged now

[la-gotica-fantasma]

8 realistic situations to add to your writing -

Disclaimers: I cannot stress enough that I am not at all trying to tell you what to write, these are just some concepts / prompts. - My title does not mean that your more lovey-dovey scenes are unrealistic, I just couldn't think of how to title this - Some of these are scenes that have been used in my writing, so if by the off chance you are using any of these, please don’t copy the dialogue word for word. :}

ROMANTIC -

1) When both of them are cuddling / holding hands and one of them starts sweating.

★ “Ugh! I love you, but I don’t love all this sweat you produce!” “But it’s my love for you seeping out of my pores!” “I couldn't care less what it is. Off!” “Fine, your majesty.”

2) Each character hating their mother in law / partners mother

★ “Mom is asking to visit.” “And do what?” “I’m not sure, check up on everyone?” “She can check up her own ass for the stick I know she’s lost up there.”

★ “Well, your mother is no saint.” “She never claimed to be!” “Uh-huh, and when has mine?” “Circa-” “Okay! Truce?” “Truce.”

3) Character X bringing up a pet peeve they have with Character Y at a family gathering.

★ “Character Y does this one thing when they eat- they never scoop up their food with their fork, they’ll just attack it! Sometimes I can’t stand it.” “You never told me that bothered you?” “It didn’t bother me enough to mention it.” “Not until a family dinner?” “I didn’t mean anything negative by it-” **cue Character Y aggressively attacking their food with their fork** “Okay, I get it! We’ll talk later.”

4) Character X and Character Y bake with each other, except realistically.

★ “Character X, why are your arms wrapped around me?” “Because I love you.” “I love you too but I also love being able to actually mix the ingredients together.”

★ “Get the eggs!” “You told me to stop buying eggs because ‘inflation will kill us all’.” “I wasn’t wrong but, UGH-! I need eggs!” “Well I got them anyway, but still.”

★ “Stop touching things!” “How am I supposed to bake without touching anything?!” “You aren’t!”

5) Planning lies they'll tell in 5 years when people ask how they met.

★ "What if we say that we were playing bumper cars and I hit you so hard I fell into your car?" "Hmm.. how about we say that I was going to my best friends wedding and I was all down and glum, but a friend of mine told me to 'have some fun' and that maybe I'd meet someone special at the wedding, and that's when I saw you. You and a little yellow umbrella that I've seen in so many places before, and we just talked about our past together?" "I think that's been done before." "By who?" "One of the most popular rom-coms ever aired."

★ "We could say I saved you from-" "I'm gonna stop you right there." "Fine. What's your idea then, if you're so smart?" "We tell them we met in a psychiatric ward." "Wow. Exquisite thinking." "Just imagine the looks on their faces!"

PLATONIC / ROMANTIC -

6) Those moments where neither party can decide on something so they do nothing, only for them both to yell out what they want and it coincidentally be an agreement.

★ “What do you want for dinner?” “I’m not sure, what do you want?” “I dunno.” **cue them both lazing around, doing nothing for minutes** “Spaghetti.” “It’s like you can read my mind.”

7) Character X asking Character Y how their day went, and Character Y just breaks down in tears- not because their day was bad, but just because Character X asked.

★ “Hi, how was work?” **cue ‘ugly’ sobbing** “Oh no, was it really that bad?” “No- It just- It was just- sweet to- ask-”

8) Stuff that should be awkward really not being awkward at all.

★ “Did you just fart?” “Yeah.” “Okay, good.” “‘Good’?” “Good that it’s not a gas leak.” “Yeah, I had to force it out a little bit.” "So definitely not a leak." "Definitely not."

p.s. Your writing is captivating as always suga, and I am abidingly proud of you and your work. <3

Morbid affection,

- Tipsy ᓚᘏᗢ

[lovecandyxx]

Teacher! DOFP! Logan Howlett x Student! Reader

A/N: EURGGHHh okay so this is literally the first ever fic i'm writing on here for Logan, idfk i'll just GO 4 IT... Idk whether this is out of character 4 him I did my best!!!! this basically takes place after logan 'woke up' n became a teacher, Also, english isn't my first language so I hope the grammar is right LMFAO.

contents: Implied age gap, Make out sesh, hair tugging, awk moments, is this considered knee fucking??? idk?????? obvs teacher x student!!! pet names, teasing?

Just short n' sweet tha's itttt ౨ৎ⋆ ｡⋆𐙚⋆.˚₊⊹♡

It was currently 8:30 AM, 30 minutes before class starts. I bit my lip biting back a grin and took a look at the box of cookies I held in my hands. I paced slightly in front of the classroom door trying to do it silently while also trying to steal slight glances through the small window pane of the door, knowing Logan was sat inside. Because obviously I have a Huge crush on my proffessor, Mr.Howlett. It was just the way he was always a bit more gentle with me, than he was with the other students. The light brush of our fingers when he passed back my notes and the way his eyes are already on me when I look his way, sometimes I think I can see him glimpsing under my desk, too. The one time my heart fluttered the most was probably when after class, I had asked him for extra help and he eagerly complied, I sat next to him by his desk and when I finally got it and did a few things right, he had put his hand on my thigh gently and called me a 'good girl'. GOD I could've died right then and there.

Snapping out of my thoughts, I sneakily looked inside one more time, took a deep breath and opened the door with a soft creak. I stepped in and turned to close the door before turning to face my teacher, his face turned to look at me instead of all the papers on his desk. I felt a slight heat creep into the back of my neck from the way he looked at me, he has such freaking sexy eyes. "Goodmorning, Mr.Howlett.." I pursed my lips into a thin awkward smile and walked toward his desk. "Mornin' (Y/N).." Logan glanced up at the clock hanging on the classroom wall. "You're 30 minutes early?" He said with an intrigued tone and raised eyebrow. "I know, I just uhh.. Wanted to give you these" I tell him while softly placing the box of cookies infront of him.

He looked at the cookies, then to me, then again to the cookies. "You.. made me cookies?" A faint smile appeared on his gruff face and he shook his head slightly. "Ya didn't have to bub, but thanks" He grabbed the box and swiftly put them in a drawer in his desk "I'll eat them after class, Don't like sugar in the mornings." He looked up at me again, and I swear he looks at my legs for a split second! Putting on a mini skirt was the right fucking option for today.

I grab a chair and set it down across from him, at his desk. "I understand, I mean, I'm glad you even accepted them! I was scared you wouldn't like sugary sweet things!!" I giggled and looked him in the eyes.

Logan's lips turned upward lightly, He in fact, Hates sugary foods. He only accepted them because they we're from you, If it we're any other student he probably would've scoffed in their face and kicked them out. Truth is Logan has been quite interested in (Y/N) for a while now, too. He tried to be closer to her with such small things but because he obviously, was her teacher, he could never cross any crazy line. (Y/N) is also a lot younger than him.. like a lot. And yeah everyone know's he's like 180+ years old but his appearance looks more of a 56 year old, which is still way too old considering (Y/N)'s age.

Logan put the papers on his desk aside and leaned back in his seat, "Don't you have better things to do before class, rather than giving your teacher cookies." he teased. I rolled my eyes at him playfully trying to ignore the flutters in my chest and slight blush that crept onto my face, "Well.." I crossed my arms and breathed in deeply trying to think of a sassy remark, but sighed and responded. "Not really.." I laughed softly and notice him still with a soft smile looking at me. "Jeez can't a student accompany her old lonely teacher for once!" I joked rolling my eyes trying to hide my grin and leaning back in my seat. Logan raised both eyebrows and smirked. "Did you just call me old? C'mon bub?" I laugh loudly at his response, "Lucky for you I like them older!" I responded still in a joking manner, before I noticed the look on his face and him leaning forward, elbows on his desk now, and then I realized what I had actually said to my older teacher! My face flushed red when I saw a smirk form on his face with his stupid eyebrow raise again. My breath hitched and I wanted to think of something to say. "I- I mean like, Not like, You know! But, Like-... Actually nevermind I can't save myself right now." I mumbled the last part. Feeling lightly embarrassed but also confused as to why my teacher wasn't scolding me for saying such an inappropriate thing?

I looked downwards at my hands resting on my knees, "Sorry, Mr.Howlett.." I muttered out. Then Logan let out a small stiffled laugh and I looked at him, brows furrowed in confusion. "You don't have to say sorry sweetheart, was kinda hoping you'd confess 'sum like that" he admitted. I blinked at him in confusion blushing at his rarely used nickname for me, "What.. what do you mean..?" He crossed his arms leaning back into his seat again. "I mean, I was hoping you'd admit you'd be into someone like me, bub." His eyes pierced into your own never leaving yours once, eyeing your face to maybe read any form of emotion off you.

I bit my lip harshly and rubbed my legs together nervously, "Mr.Howlett.." The confident man infront of me opened his mouth to say something to me again, but was stopped by a small group of students walking into the classroom. They greeted Logan and all gave me a weird look, I'd guessed for how I looked in that moment..

I awkwardly stood up and put the chair in it's place again, as I sat down on my own seat I glanced at Logan again, heart beating loudly in my chest. What is that man thinking right now?! What was he even going to say, or do?!

As the lesson went on my mind wandered so much that I barely paid attention, not noticing that the class had ended not too long ago. As the few last students left, I didn't quite dare to look up at Logan yet. I just slowly started packing my things, but tensed a bit as I heard footsteps approach. "(Y/N).." Logan called out softly. I didn't look up at him but responded.. It almost felt like I was gonna need to be interrogated by the fucking police. But as Logan noticed I didn't dare look up, he crouched down next to my seat, practically forcing me to look him in the eyes.

The confidence he had an hour ago had faded, especially since you avoided his eyes the whole lesson, Logan had become unsure if you really we're into him. He refused to let go of the eye contact, though. He sighed deeply and put a hand on your thigh, making your breath hitch. "Listen (Y/N), didn't mean for you to get all uncomfortable yea? Just forget about it bub, I'll forget about what you said too, if it'll make ya feel better?" ...I stayed silent for a bit, frozen in place holding the last book I was gonna put in my bag. I bit my lip again and hesitated, thinking about my next move very carefully.

I placed my book onto the table harshly and finally looked Logan in his eyes. I took a deep breath and placed my own hand on top of his on my thigh. "Listen, Logan, That's not it. Like completely not it! I do want you, I want you so bad it actually kills me. I just wasn't sure if you we're actually serious about it, too! That's why I looked nervous." I held onto his hand a little tighter holding my breath, a surge of confidence washed over me, but faded as quickly as it came. I waited anxiously for Logan to say something, but his face darkened. He still held eye contact but there was a sudden change in the way he did. Now there was a sudden, want in his eyes, a need, lust.

"Say my name again." He practically growled this under his breath, grip on your thigh tightening, I gulped softly but complied "Logan.."

Before I could comprehend what was happening his lips we're already on mine, his hand went from my thigh to holding onto the side of my face, cupping it harshly to pull me deeper into the sudden kiss. His hand worked it's way to the back of my head entangling itself within the hair on the back of my head, tugging at it softly. Which let a moan escape my lips which gave him the opportunity to let his tongue into my hot mouth.

I had my eyes shut tightly, feeling extremely overwhelmed but fucking turned on at the same time. He was suddenly so rough toward me, unlike how he was in the classes he teached.

I felt his body weight shift from down under me to on top of me, He had his knee in between my thighs inching closer towards my throbbing core. He never let go of my lips and with his one hand still intertwined with my hair, his other free hand snaked it's way from gently touching my collar bone to slowly towards my chest.

I gave him a light push on the chest, not because I didn't want this, but because I couldn't fucking breath. He let go of my lips, still staying very close to my face, both out of breath practically panting in each others face. I gripped onto his shirt, and whined softly as I felt his knee finally pushing against my cunt. I moaned quietly and let my head fall back slowly cause of the pressure between my thighs.

As our heavy breathing continued his eyes never strayed from mine, "Logan.." I whimpered softly "You okay baby?" I licked my lips at his sudden nickname for me and smiled like a lovesick fool. "You can't call your student baby!" I scolded him playfully between the thick sexual tension. He smirked at me, "Last time I checked I couldn't kiss my students either." He teased. I stayed silent and bit my lip, switching my gaze in between looking at his eyes and his lips.

"We are so gonna get caught if we keep going!" I told him sternly, "Don't ya wanna keep going, sweetheart?" That dumb smirk of him never faded, "of course I wanna keep going Logan! But imagine if someone walks in.." I mumble softly.

He gave a soft tug at your hair one more time making you moan softly, before letting go and removing himself completely from your touch. You whimpered softly, at the weird feel of sudden loss of contact, after being so intimate with your teacher.

Just as Logan straightened his clothes a bit, the next group of students walked in. A few gave weird looks, but with one look from Logan they all scurried off to their seats. I quickly grabbed the last book I had left on the table and put it in my school bag giggling softly to myself. I glanced up at Logan as I stood up to leave and mouthed a very obvious 'told you so.' grabbing his hand giving it a light squeeze, I looked down at his crotch and saw the very obvious tent in his blue jeans. "Goodluck with that and uh, see you tomorrow, Mr.Howlett" I said with a teasing tone, and left the classroom swaying my hips just a little extra more because I could feel his eyes burning into the back of me.

౨ৎ⋆｡⋆𐙚⋆.˚₊⊹♡౨ৎ⋆｡⋆𐙚⋆.˚₊⊹♡౨ৎ⋆｡⋆𐙚⋆.˚₊⊹♡

OKAYYY well that was fun, I'll see for myself if anyone reads this, AND IF YOU DID, LMK what u thought abt it,

MUCH LOVE, CANDY˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

[thepalehorsevictoria]

5 fic recs from Vic #2

Awwww shirt, here we go again because I am procrastinating like hell and I churned out multiple chapters so I think I should take it sleazy tomorrow. (Okay no let's be honest I'm going to get toasted on 20 and write nonsense smut.)

But anyway. Five more EmmRook fics that I've been enjoying like hell or have before and my fellow older-man-fuckers might like.

Usual disclaimers: I'm an F/M smut girly and honestly very few things squick me. Check the tags before you dive in.

The key is: 😱 feet-kicking, hair-twirling, giddy omgggg 🥵 is it hot in here or is it just the fucking Gentleman Necromancer? 👻 pardon me while I stare out the window. This one part (or more) just haunt(s) me.

The Privilege of Worship by @ollypopwrites “With you, I feel as life has begun again,” he panted against her neck. “I hardly know what spell it is you’ve cast — what have you done to me?” ARE YOU KIDDING. I’m not telling you how many visits this has according to my history. 😱🥵👻

The Person That I Am Today by Sensitive_Inferno I am not as verbose as I want to be in my writing. It comes from years of having to be succinct. This? This is proof that you can still have hot smut in 1k words or less. 🥵

Sugar and Spores by @silshinobii Maybe it’s my bills talking even after decades of Cup Noodle. Maybe it’s being in the Darkest Timeline. But when Sil drops a sugar daddy so lovingly crafted with at least two chapters annotated with “Emmrich is a freak?” Sign me the fuck up. Also I can absolutely see Manfred as a ragdoll. 😱🥵

Pantomime by @tiger-shrike. “Unhinged academic 4 unhinged academic” ahahahahhahaha This one reads like it’ll be a while to develop, but I am invested. I love a good marriage plot. Amara is a delight. 😱

Dirty Chai Latte by @kirkwall-tourism-department. We have all had miserably bad days like these. And then “Just because it hurts doesn’t mean you have to stop, darling.” AAAAAH. Two fist thumps on my desk. 😱🥵👻

[rudeflower]

writing young children developmentally accurately

Writing young children convincingly, especially if you aren't around them often, can be tricky because from birth to age five children change so much, and they also typically progress in a certain way. This is why parents refer to young children's age in months ("She's 18 months!") for the first several years. 12 month olds and 23 month olds are wildly different, even though they're both 1.

Because of this, it's great to be aware of whether the 18 month old in your fic/story would typically be walking, and if that 4 month old baby can typically hold their head up. If you're way off it can ring as odd for the reader, even if they aren't experts themselves.

A key word here is typical. Children typically develop skills around certain times and in a certain order, but it can vary. No child develops exactly on target, some variation is normal. And it isn't necessarily because of disability or giftedness. It is possible for a one year old to be talking, and it's possible for an five year old not to be. It is still worth being read up on typical development because if your one year old is talking fluently, it makes sense in universe for other characters to remark on it quite a bit!

You do not have to run out and get a job at a daycare or take a college level child development classes to write young children confidently. Here are some resources I recommend as someone who works in the child development field, that I reference myself even though I've taken a ton of classes/worked with young children for over a decade:

CDC's Developmental Milestones

This is a good resource on when milestones (smiling, walking, dressing onesself) TYPICALLY emerge. They are not exhaustive and also not cumulative (18 month milestones link just includes what typically emerges at 18, not everything that already happened) so read each stage up to the age you're writing to be most informed

There are also photos and videos on many of the milestones, which is also great to visually confirm what this age looks and moves like

Child Mind Institute Complete Guide to Developmental Milestones

This is similar to the CDC resource BUT it's all on one page so you can see how the skills build cumulatively. It has less media and linking out, so this is a great one to refer to while writing after you're a little more confident in what your child character can do

American Speech-Language-Hearing Association Communication Milestones

This is similar to the first 2 in that it shows the typical skills by age but goes into much further detail about communication. Because of the nature of a written story much of how your child character will come across will be in how they communicate and young children typically communicate in specific ways based on where they are in their development. This resource breaks it all down!

Lurie's Play Development Milestones

Even the way children play is very dependent of what stage of development they are in. A six month old won't pretend their toy truck is a rocket ship, for example. This resource breaks down what play typically looks like by age.

Development of Healthy Eating

I'm not familiar with this source, but this page is a great simple breakdown on healthy eating with young children from breast feeding to solid foods that are choking hazards.

-----

These are all great resources for anyone writing a young child character, regardless of your IRL level of contact with young children. I regularly am with young children, my entire profession is about healthy child development and I still refer to resources every time I write a young child.

Don't feel like you have to follow each of these guides perfectly--it's actually more realistic for a child character to be slightly off track or even way off track in one or two ways than for them to be matching perfectly (You'll even notice these guides don't match perfectly across the board.) But generally writing for a developmentally informed point of view (Even just a few minutes of checking out a milestone table while writing) can make your child characters feel REAL and authentic.

[cosmerelists]

Ranking the First Five Stormlight Novels

For the record, this is not meant to be an objectively correct ranking or anything--but it is my personal ranking. I wanted to wait to do this until Stormlight 5 came out!

And I gotta say--I like all of the books. But I can rank them by "least favorite" to "favorite," even if they're all among my favorite books in general, you know?

[Spoilers for Wind & Truth! ...And all the other Stormlight books too!]

#5: Wind and Truth

I feel bad ranking the newest book at the lowest spot...but so it goes. The thing is: I'm a simple woman. I come to Stormlight Archive looking for people with huge fantasy swords fighting each other in the sky. And while I do respect and understand Kaladin finding his place outside of battles and becoming a Therapist to the Stars, I did honestly miss him getting to duke it out against overwhelming odds.

I will say that this was probably my favorite Adolin book--his WAT arc was my favorite. I also loved the new ways that Shallan is using her powers, to say nothing of finally getting the Rlain/Renarin love story. It was also extremely gratifying to finally get a lot of the backstory about the Stormfather and Honor and the Recreance. I'm also fascinated that so many arcs involved oaths being broken framed as a good thing.

Lots of great stuff in Stormlight 5. But my monkey brain really wanted more sky fights.

#4: Oathbringer

I have to imagine that if you are a Dalinar stan, Oathbringer is probably your absolute favorite book. I'm a Dalinar fan but not a Dalinar stan, so that definitely flavors my reaction to this book.

This one does have one of my favorite Sanderlanches--the battle of Thaylen city is amazing (and Shallan single-handedly fighting an entire army does legitimately make me tear up every time). The invasion of Kholinar storyline is also great, and I loved meeting Azure.

Again, lots of good stuff, but not as much good stuff as some of the other books, at least for me.

#3: Rhythm of War

Rhythm of War was challenging for me because Kaladin is having the ABSOLUTE WORST time in his whole life and it's sometimes legitimately hard to read about it. At the same time, we get such great Kaladin fights thanks to the Pursuer, and one of the all-time great Kaladin Dramatic Entrances at the end.

Plus, I mean....Navani and Raboniel? So good! So toxic! Such an accidental toxic yuri horrifying love story. I'm such a sucker for self-sacrifice too, so Raboniel sacrificing herself to save Navani AFTER Navani killed her? That could have been created in a lab just for me.

PLUS this book had Maya and Adolin, both their kata fight and the whole "WE CHOSE" scene.

Incredible book, IMO.

#2: Way of Kings

I go back and forth about whether Way of Kings or Words of Radiance is my favorite, if I'm being honest. At the moment of writing this list, it's turned out this way.

I really love Way of Kings. The whole bridgeman plotline is horrifying but so compelling, and I love watching Kaladin build himself and his man back up. I love seeing all of the ways they manage to survive, from the side-carry to, well, war-crime armor I guess. The scene of Kaladin surviving the highstorm--with Syl in front trying to block it--is one of my all-time favorite scenes ever. The Tower Fight is fantastic all the way through. And the end with Dalinar giving up his shardblade to save the bridgemen is so earned.

On a first read I was less compelled by Shallan's narrative but it honestly gets more compelling the more often I reread which I've done...let's say a few times. She's such a great character from the first line.

#1: Words of Radiance

As I mentioned at the beginning, I am a simple woman sometimes when it comes to my fantasy series. Words of Radiance wins for me because it contains my three favorite plotlines / scenes:

The 4 v. 1 duel. So amazingly fun to read. Such a good scene for Adolin, for Kaladin, for Renarin. "Honor is dead but I'll see what I can do." Come ON.

Kaladin & Shallin fieldtrip in the chasms. I loved the way their relationship developed over the course of this scene. The end when they're huddled in the cave in the middle of the highstorm while listening to the Fused above them, telling each other their true stories--top-notch. Plus I'm a sucker for storylines where people have to both use and hide their powers, and so the fact that they're both Radiant and trying to hide that from each other makes me giggle maniacally.

The Kaladin vs. Szeth duel. This fight has EVERYTHING. They're in the sky. It's a highstorm. They literally run across enormous boulders that were RIPPED from the GROUND by the storm while said boulders are SPINNING THROUGH THE STORM. It's so over-the-top and it's my favorite fight in the whole series.

So that's me! I know there are tons of "What's your favorite Stormlight book" polls out there, but if you want to put your ranking in the tags I'd be interested to see it!

[newttxt]

20 questions for fic writers

thank you @strawhattery for @ing me, even though i do feel like it's a not-so-subtle urge to finish my current wips... (i need the kick)

for reference/those who only see my art, i used to be a fic writer who occasionally drew. that's obviously changed, but i am trying to write more, so you can find me at pseudoanalytics on ao3.

1) how many works do you have on ao3?

44, but only 35 are linked to me (9 are anonymous...)

2) what's your total ao3 word count?

347,773 😰

3) what are your top five fics by kudos?

while i nodded, nearly napping (suddenly there came a tapping) [haikyuu, ushiten]

redacted :/

the inherent romance of classical conditioning (or, the fine art of emotional recognition) [haikyuu, sakuatsu]

you're really pushing it (but you're going much too slowly) [haikyuu, ushiten]

redacted :/ (sequel to the first redacted...)

4) what fandoms do you write for?

most of my fics are so old i can't bear to look at them, but i'm trying to write more for one piece. then i've written a decent amount of haikyuu, pacific rim, and star wars.

5) do you respond to comments? why or why not?

initially? i absolutely do! but as any of my friends will tell you, i struggle to even reply to dms or texts. so alas. i drop off pretty quickly

i LOVE comments though, and i eagerly read and reread them frequently ;__;

6) what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oh sheesh. you may only ask once (so be prepared for the reply) which is a bad end for pacific rim 2. or i guess... a worse end. it's also a bit of a role swap au, if i remember correctly.

7) what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i... honestly don't know. i typically write happy endings. i like to write "missing scenes" and post-canon, so things tend to be rather open-ended or to just lead into the next part of canon. my memory is also not my prize-winning quality, so i can't really remember how my fics ended pre-2018ish.

8) do you get hate on fics?

i know i've gotten some ruder bookmarks, but not typically, no. i get more hate on art or in my ask box, but i honestly just delete it all, so it never sticks.

9) do you write smut?

yes, though its debatable if it's "smut" so much as "sex in such an irreverent context that it becomes humor." i cannot take sex seriously, so alas, i rarely write it seriously. i use it more as comedy and a tool for character studies. i do enjoy a stoic character's facade getting cracked open.

10) do you write crossovers?

i don't write legitimate crossovers, with characters from different medias intermingling, and frankly, i rarely do au's either.

but if i have one weakness, it's that i am ALWAYS a sucker for a pacific rim au. yes, i am rotating a one piece version in my head.

11) have you ever had a fic stolen?

i had a sakuatsu one reuploaded to wattpad under someone else's username. they deleted my author's notes and added their own, as if they'd written the fic, too. hilariously they even used my art for the cover.

it got taken down, but idk why. i never reached out about it.

12) have you ever had a fic translated?

yeah! i've had 5 translated, and i've had 2 turned into podfics, which is cool.

13) have you ever cowritten a fic before?

nope. i'd be terrible to work with, tbh. my writing process is a holdover from my journalism days, and the steps are a mystery even to me. i think i'll stick to drawing art for other ppl and their fics.

14) what's your all time favorite ship?

i will hold to the fact that it's asanoya from ao3. they were the first ship i got really invested in, and i see their impact on everything i ship to this day. they were my "blueprint," if you will. i still get smiley when i see art for them!

on the flip side... terezi/vriska was also a formative ship for me. but i won't discuss that.

15) what's the wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

rip go ahead and start talking (i'll pick up the slack). it's my 1-of-2-chapters ushiten fic that i should just mark as complete, since the first chapter can stand alone.

16) what are your writing strengths?

hard to determine your own strengths, but i think my dialogue/characterization are pretty strong, especially since i still regularly flex those muscles when writing comics. i also think i'm funny.

17) what are your writing weaknesses?

writing.

but seriously, i am so bad at sitting down and just hammering out a fic. don't get me started on outlines or longform works. i'd rather grab my pencil and start drawing, i'm afraid.

18) thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i think there are ways to interweave words or terms in other languages, but overall, i'm a fan of just standardizing everything into one language. if your character understands it, i think all readers should be able to understand it. and i'm not a fan of when you're expected to scroll to the end for a translation; i think it interrupts the reading flow.

this is a generalized opinion though. i think there are ALWAYS storytelling exceptions, so if the other language usage is really important to your theme/intent, i can see why you would do this!

19) first fandom you wrote for?

please don't do this to me. it was maximum ride. yes, the james patterson books about the kids with bird wings. i wrote 4-5 fics, i was in middle school, and — as far as i know — they are still up on ff dot net. no, i won't elaborate.

20) favourite fic you've ever written?

hands down, it's the sakuatsu domesticity simulator. it's not necessarily my best work in terms of writing skill, but i also drew over 50 images for it and html coded it into an interactive story. i'm just proud that i started a big project by myself and i actually finished it!

it's my dream to someday make a whole visual fan novel. i feel like the domesticity sim was the first step.

oh boy i'm bad at tagging but if @syrupfog, @lawsbbygirl, @macabrekawaii , @bmouse, or @cooknumber3 want to go for it... :))

[fidenciocryptidcreechur]

this rant is specifically because i saw some folks with some rather bad takes on a different platform.

I swear to fucking hell if twst fandom starts genuinely acting like Jamil is a woman hater because he didn't switch up his behavior and still had his overblot crash out with Yuuna I'm gonna lose sanity.

I have seen some joking memes on other platforms (not really here fortunately) but like I have also seen some of these joking takes spiral out of control. It's happened with Trey where folks started thinking Trey doesn't actually care about Riddle or his friends and secretly hates baking, happened with Leona (some still happens but mainly through misconstruing his burnout and depression with laziness but also it carried over when people said he hates men when really he gets aggravated anybody that bothers him which is most of nrc except yuus and his dormmates in general.), also happens with the octotrio (they don't hate each other and i don't know how that weird headcanon came around back then but i am glad it's dead) and with sebek (he has other interests besides malleus and i am so glad people are becoming more aware of this).

NRC has confirmed that the guys do not actually change up their behavior for anyone, they act themselves in every Yuuniverse, and mainly only react according to certain behaviors and personalities. For example, game canon Yuu doesn't have the same interactions as Yuuna, scarabia yuu, and that's because they have two very different types of personalities.

All the overblotters are equal opportunity crashouts, they both do their usual antics regardless. Plus an overblot is literally a magic-made physical manifestation produced from someone being crushed under the pressure of their stress and having a mental breakdown. They aren't exactly going to be accommodating to anyone in any way during this- we see this in all of the overblots and how they will do things they regret or would never do normally. The accumulation of long term stress and resentment over a lifetime isn't gonna be suddenly resolved by someone who has existed on campus for like maximum 6 months so it makes sense that Jamil still goes ahead with the original book 4 events. it cannot be overstated enough that shit was going down regardless and some one who has only been on that campus for maximum 4-6 months and who has likely interacted with the overblotter for less than that total amount of time (simply because they are not and cannot be by the overblotters side 24/7) isn't gonna suddenly undo years of resentment and stress. It's not like he suddenly undid his generational trauma of familial servitude. So while The physical magic manifestation can be attacked, sure, and you can snap the overblotter out of it this way, there was gonna be a blowout regardless.

Love Yuuna, will NOT accept hate for her, but i also will not stand for anyone making trash takes for Jamil who's going through it.

Thankfully I haven't really seen it happening on tumblr (hooray!!) but I have seen it cropping up on a couple other platforms but i am keenly aware of how those jokes can spiral away and how some people will seem to start genuinely taking off with it.

note: i do not particularly care how someone writes their au, their oc/yuusona, or their own writing/jokes- plus that isn't really up to me and it would be a monumentally jackass move to genuinely say or even try to enforce (let people live, don't harass writers you don't like, block and move on, etc). I am mostly talking about the canonical takes and interpretations. Canon is one of those things where one can take inspiration from and that is helpful for writing fiction and for writing the characters but that is ultimately not required for making au's. Can you make better headcanons and is it beneficial to look at canon to help with writing characters? yes, of course. Is it required? no, and often the addition of non-canon details and headcanons- especially ones formed from inspiration from canon- add a lot of life to fics and art. There are some wonderful au's and art in this community which have almost zero connection to the original dynamics or to the story AND THEY ARE AMAZING. This isn't about au's though. It's about some garbage interpretations i saw about the canonical characters and i don't wanna go through round 2 of wild outlandish misinterpretations....

ultimately Not arguing about people's takes, au's and headcanons in this so much as the actual canon and people's take away from it.

Jamil has never been shown to indicate that he's misogynistic or a woman hater and i think it's a garbage take is what i am ultimately saying.

[anne-bsd-bibliophile]

I haven't read all of these series, because I want to wait until the series is complete in English before I read it, but this is my ranking of the books I've read:

The Husky and His White Cat Shizun (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐): It's my favorite for so many reasons! I'm so attached to Mo Ran and Chu Wanning. Meatbun is an amazing writer. It's crazy how many emotions I felt while reading this series. I read fan and machine translations of the book first and am rereading it as the official translations come out. It's even better (and infinitely more painful) the second time around! The foreshadowing and big reveals are more impactful than any other book I've ever read. Also, I am so glad I got to read the whole thing without stopping, because if I had to wait for the next book to come out that would have been far too painful! 2ha destroyed me emotionally in ways nothing else ever has. I refuse to read any other series by Meatbun until all the books are out because I've heard they are also painful, but brilliant, books! I have a feeling that Remnants of Filth and Casefile Compendium are going to be high on my favorites list when I do read them.

2. Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐): My first danmei, and my favorite by MXTX. The drama and the anime are also wonderful, but because the adaptations had to be censored, the books are definitely the best! The relationship between Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji is absolutely perfect! The side characters are endearing, the humor is witty, and the action/suspense scenes are done very well. This book is also has my favorite confession scene of all time! I got into the series for the romance, and was blown away by the writing and the mystery plotline. However, it can be a little confusing when it comes to switching between timelines.

3. Thousand Autumns (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐): The author basically thought, "What would happen if a man with no flaws and the worst man ever were to meet?" And then she wrote this book. Shen Qiao is the most perfect man ever. He's kind, gentle, beautiful, strong, intelligent, forgiving, and is basically the ideal Taoist priest. Yan Wushi is a demonic cultivator who is the exact opposite of Shen Qiao. Yan Wushi is arrogant, cynical, harsh, violent, mercurial, and is so strong that no one could oppose him if they wanted to. The book begins with Shen Qiao laying almost dead, blind, and amnesiac at the bottom of a cliff where he is found by Yan Wushi, who takes Shen Qiao home because he wants to try and influence him to become evil just for fun. As their paths meet and they travel together, Yan Wushi shows Shen Qiao parts of the world he had never known existed and they do end up influencing each other, just not in the way either of them expected. Yan Wushi is quite the character and Shen Qiao is absolutely perfect. They may not seem to be made for each other, at least not at first, but they were. I love the two main characters of course, but I also love how realistic the historical setting is and the power struggle between the three main Chinese philosophies, Taoism, Confucianism, and Buddhism. Thousand Autumns is thought provoking while also being exciting, suspenseful, fun, romantic, and downright silly at times. It isn't the most well known danmei series, but I think it is one of the best written.

4. Heaven Official's Blessing (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐): This is probably the best writing from MXTX. It has beautiful symbolism, which helps to make the official artwork and donghua look spectacular. The whole series is like a work of art. Xie Lian is one of the most intriguing protagonists because he is as simple as he appears on the surface but is also equally complex deep down. He never changes throughout the series, either. You just learn and understand more about Xie Lian as his past is revealed. The same can be said about Hua Cheng; his character is straightforward and unchanging, but he is also an enigma. For me, Heaven Official's Blessing is amazing because of Xie Lian and Hua Cheng's relationship and how they have influenced each other. The other characters and side plots are interesting and well written, but the whole draw for me is Hualian. Even during the moments when they are not the main focus in the plot they are still my main focus, if that makes sense. The world of Heaven Official's Blessing and the entire cast of characters are well written, and with Hualian at the center of it all this series is spectacular.

5. Scum Villain Self-Saving System (⭐⭐⭐⭐): This series is so much fun. There are so many stories where the main character dies in real life only to wake up as the villain in a story, and I thought this would be more of the same. But SVSSS is very satirical and pokes fun at the overused genre cliches. It is so easy to relate to Shen Qingqiu and to love Lou Binghe. I really enjoyed how the series is so entertaining at first, but it becomes so dark and realistic despite being an over the top stallion novel setting. The whole book is a wild ride and I enjoyed every moment of it.

6. Guardian (⭐⭐⭐): I think it was a fun choice to choose a modern supernatural detective setting and include Chinese mythology. It made the cast of characters unique and fun. I also really enjoyed the humor in this series. The character development and plot weren't as deep and impactful as the other danmei in this list, and I think part of the reason is the author gave a lot of hints and help for the reader. As a result, it felt like this series was written for a younger audience. It's not bad, but it made the series a lot less engaging for me, even though I do love the two main characters.

7. Stars of Chaos (⭐⭐): I wasn't really a fan of this series. It had so much potential, but ultimately the plot boiled down to a paranoid emperor, greedy court officials, an underfunded military, and the two main characters who are so perfect that they turn literally every situation around and everything goes according to their plans. The politics and military issues were realistic, but they were explained so thoroughly that there were no surprises. The main characters are amazing, but their backstories aren't explained even half as well as the politics were so we don't really know much about how they got to be that way. In the first book the main character travels for four years and changes from a snotnosed kid to the impressive and skilled protagonist who can take on literally everything. His godfather/love interest is astonished and wonders what he was doing for those four years. I was also curious, but the author never told us. There was so much emphasis on world building, political intrigue, and military strategy that I felt the characters took a backseat to everything else. Which is a shame, because the characters are so cool! I actually enjoyed the extra chapters more than the main story because we got to see more of the characters and how they interact with each other. (Whenever I talk about Stars of Chaos I sound like Shen Yuan talking about PIDW from SVSSS. I know and I'm sorry, so please remember this is just my opinion. Please don't hunt me down for revenge.)

To Be Read:

Remnants of Filth

Casefile Compendium

Peerless

Ballad of Sword and Wine

The Disabled Tyrant's Beloved Pet Fish

You've Got Mail: The Perils of Pigeon Post

Danmei novels but they are Pokémon to collect so yeah. Show me your collections and favourite series I’ll show you mine

I’m loving these so much. Erha is my favourite at the moment, but I need vol 3-9 to complete the collection. And I’m super excited to get through the rest of tgcf since I watched the anime and read the comic so IM EXCITED FOR MORE MATERIALLLL

[ghost-qwq]

Hii hello!!! I really love your character, (cowboys and not only them), and I wanna know about them more!!! So uuum,,, I have some questions about them, only 3 questions and no more today!! a question about Celia! I'd like to read more about Her, especially her interaction with the 'Miss in the purple' that appeared in one of the artworks with Celia, and also Her interaction with Owen Rivera, it would be interesting to know the reason why They broke up! Overall Celia and 'miss in purple' caught my eye and it would be interesting to know more about Them!! :D Also a quick question about Rori Morris!!! In one of the art (or doodles, I just call everything art), we can see him addressing someone called 'Lass', and He's a little disturbed, who is Lass? Do we will know about His interaction with Rori later on? I tried to figure out who this could be from the already known characters, but in the end not figurate it. I apologize if this has been mentioned already! And also a final question about Ernest! In his Toyhouse there is mention of an 'The Barn Incident' which involved Him being locked up with an unfriendly dog and also, I assume, somehow leading to a fire in the end. What was the reason He was locked in barn in the first place, and how exactly did everything lead to the fire? I don't think it was just because He didn't have a good relationship with His Father that he was locked up there. Did Ernest do something wrong when He was a kid and this was some sort of punishment? Or is this a part of the story that will be told in the future? I'm sorry for SUCH LONG ask!! I just really interested with your character and when I like something, I'm very verbose And also thanks for answer in advance!! ':] (And also sorry for not the best English, I hope the gist of the questions is still clear)

AHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE QUESTIONS, HIT MUTUAL !!!!!! :D

I will try my best to answer all of them 🫡🫡🫡🫡 (Organized below because... woah)

yap alerttt !!!

1. CELIA/SCARLET !!

I have a lot more to say about Scarlet and Rivera than I do her and her unnamed girlfriend </3

Scarlet and Rivera broke up because, honestly, Rivera was NOT a good person and was in no state to be in a relationship… She should have broken up with him WAY before she did, tbh There were a lot of reasons to break up with him, but the final straw was when he went behind her back and sold her locket that her parents gave her… it was all she had left of them. They had a fight, and the end result was that she left both Rivera and the gang. (Rattlesnake offered to help get her locket back, but she denied his help)

I NEED a name for her girlfriend but I DO know that her girlfriend is married... and Scarlet is the "other man." they are actually good for each other!! A far healthier relationship than Scarlet and Rivera ever were <3

2. Rory

That's just what he called Scarlet lmao,, she refused to give her name for a while and he just called her "lass" until it stuck...

Scarlet has NO patience for Rory's nonsense and WILL hit him LMAO

3. The... Barn incident

this reminded me to draw something about this so... art sometime !! yaayyyyy fkdhashdf

I'll drop the exact details someday but the point was Rattlesnakes father wanted to "toughen him up"! and yeah, the fire... That was an accident, Rattlesnake knocked a lantern onto some hay while trying to get away from the dog and it caught on fire

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

october 1, 2021 4:15 p.m. grant's house

[juhani] hello? grant, can i call you tomorrow? it’s late.

[grant] no, you can’t. i know it’s 11 o’clock where you are right now, and i don’t really care. you answered, so you’ve trapped yourself.

[varpu, faintly] juha, if you don’t talk now, he will never call you back.

[juhani] i want to speak with you, of course i do, it’s just–

[grant] fantastic, because that’s what we’re doing. we’re talking! i have 30 years of stuff to get off my chest, and i'm sure you have your own piece to share. not sure where to start, but.

[juhani] may i ask you a question? what did you overhear at dinner the other night? are you upset i'm moving? is that it?

[grant] i mean, that stung a little after the whole “i’ll be around to build a relationship with you,” thing, but i gave you my express permission to go home, so it’s whatever. we are both adults, so i am not going to fault you for making adult decisions that improve your life. i'm more upset by you claiming you didn’t tell me about your plans or include me in the moving and wedding stuff and whatever because i'm difficult.

[juhani] that’s not what–

[grant] oh, come on. don’t kid yourself. you said it yourself, anything involving me is like pulling teeth. i heard it loud and clear.

[juhani] well, when i tell you things, you never react well. it always goes precisely like this conversation is going.

[grant] really? never? because i remember being pretty positive about your proposal and about you contacting me in the first place and about coming to dinner to acquaint myself with varpu’s kids and about meeting varpu a while back…

[grant] what i react poorly to is you leaving me out, you calling me difficult, you complaining about me in front of impressionable people, etcetera.

[juhani] i don’t want to leave you out.

[grant] that’s what varpu said, too, but i didn’t believe her, so why would i believe you?

[juhani] i have no idea how to interact with you. i've apologized to you, told you i regret the events of your childhood. nothing works.

[grant] do you regret it? because it kind of just feels like you’re doing the same shit again. abandoning me for your own self-interests. oh, and this time you’re replacing me with a brand new family you treat better.

[juhani] i'm not repl–okay, what would you prefer me do when you push me away? you told me i was difficult.

[grant] when did i say that? i mean, that's true, sure, but i would not say that to you. what i probably said that you’re misconstruing is that talking to you is hard because i'm not comfortable around you.

[juhani] and how long will it take you to be comfortable around me? i don’t know what else you want me to do. truly, i don’t, and it is not pleasant to be rejected endlessly.

[grant] well, i'd have to forgive you, but i don’t. if forgiveness was meant to happen, it would not be instant. you’d have to keep trying with me, even if i piss you off, even if i push you away. you’re my fucking father, it’s your job. you show up for your kid even if they’re horrible or annoying. you never turn your back on them. but, you know, you didn’t show up for the first 22 years you were around, so you’d have to try extra hard now to change my mind.

[grant] but honestly, i will never be comfortable around you. i've realized that over the last few days. i did actually think if you just kept trying, i'd relax and be less on edge, but nope. you could become an honest-to-god saint tomorrow, and i'll still be furious because nothing will make me understand why you couldn’t have been a decent person when i was a kid. like, when i needed you.

[grant] and i don’t get why you weren't. i don't. i'm serious. i can’t comprehend it. clearly, you have it in you to be a decent person. you love varpu's kids. you're fatherly towards them. you take them on vacation, you invite them to house and wedding venue tours, you tell them about and include them in your hobbies, you remember details about them, you smile at them without being forced, you go to their weddings and don’t flip out about them being queer even though you were viscerally disgusted with me when you found out–

[juhani] you shouldn’t bring them into this. it isn’t fair. and i've taken you on vacation before, for one.

[grant] i am being petty, but i think it's fair because i'm not shitting on them specifically. and yeah, okay, you took me on vacation once. you took me to finland exactly once, but i never met your family, and i remember nothing other than the plane rides.

[grant] and you shouldn’t do this. we don’t need to split hairs. you don’t need to crawl through that list of grievances and “well, actually” me as many times as you can manage. one vacation changes nothing. that does not erase all the times you sat there like a lame duck and ignored me or mocked me or let my mother abuse me. there is nothing for you to pat yourself on the back about.

[grant] nothing.

[juhani] so, what are you upset about now?

[grant] why?

[juhani] why what?

[grant] why are you like this? why were you a terrible father? why have no heart for me or my sisters? why did you save all your love for someone else’s kids?

[grant] oh, and how about cerise? you sure didn’t care about your bastard kids either, did you?

[grant] shit. i'm sorry. that just kind of came out. that’s not how i wanted to, you know, pepper that into this conversation. i was going to save that for the end.

[juhani] how do you know about her?

[grant] doesn't matter. it's a long story.

[grant] on that note, what is up with the secret daughter? how’d that happen? is she the only one, too, or should i be on the lookout for any other siblings? and hey, you only divorced my mother in the last few years, so you were cheating. how many times did you fuck around on her, and why would you? you wouldn’t divorce her because you were afraid of her, but apparently it's no big deal to cheat.

[juhani] grant, how can i answer you if you don't allow me to talk? cerise’s mother michelle is a doctor. your mother and i were both at a conference in detroit about healthcare outreach, and…

[juhani] i know it seems contradictory, given how long i stayed with your mother, but i was unhappy in the marriage. i met michelle there at the conference, and she was kind and intelligent, and i suppose the rest of the story should be obvious to you.

[grant] goddamn, man. i hate my mother, but that’s bold: sleeping with another woman right in front of her face.

[grant] did she ever find out?

[juhani] eventually. you remember how she was with the finances. she tracked all the money going in and out of the household. you couldn’t have one cent go missing without being accused of something, and she’d always blame it on some incident with her brother and start ranting about him.

[juhani] look, the agreement with michelle was that i'd stay out of her life and send child support, and she wouldn’t interfere with my family either. i used to lie and tell your mother the child support funds were going somewhere important, but she didn't believe me very long. she did finally question me and find out the truth.

[grant] and?

[juhani] in hindsight, her reaction reminds me a lot of the one she had when you lashed out at her during your graduation dinner. very little left her speechless, but that did. initially, i should clarify. she would go on to never let me live cerise’s existence down.

[juhani] and to answer your question, as far as i know, cerise is the only other child.

[grant] as far as you know?

[juhani] i cannot rule out further surprises.

[grant] jesus christ. my grandmother is right, all men are dogs, but you most of all.

[juhani] does it upset you that much?

[grant] again, i don’t like my mother, but if i needed any more proof that you’re more spineless than a sea sponge, this is it. you were so unhappy with my mother that you’d cheat on her, but you’d not divorce her when your kids were vulnerable.

[grant] you disgust me. you slept around and thought with your dick before you spared a single thought for the kids you let my mother abuse. or for yourself! fuck you. if you’re going to be that selfish, at least be selfish enough to prioritize yourself and leave the woman making you that miserable!

[grant] and now i don’t believe you when you say you wouldn’t leave her back then because you were scared of her. do you seriously mean to tell me it’s less terrifying to cheat on her than to just walk out of the house and never come back?

[grant] i did that, you know? when i'd had enough of my mother, i told her as much and then never spoke to her again. and guess what? wouldn’t you be so stunned to find out she’s never tracked me down, never tried to call or email to reel me back in? she left me alone after i told her to go fuck herself!

[grant] and technically, you know it's possible to leave her, too. what did you say about the divorce? that she just rolled over and let you do it and was fine with you just coughing up all the assets and dipping?

[grant] exhibits A, B, and C that she’s a coward, too. she thinks she’s the boss, but if you fight back hard enough, she gives up. you could have left her at any point in time.

[grant] god. oh my god. you stupid, spineless motherfucker. i thought i'd maxed out on anger. apparently not!

[grant] you really could have been a better father. you could have had your whole little life overhaul decades ago, and you could have saved the entire family so much pain. you, me, elizabeth, kelly…

[grant] i should have suspected as much, and i guess i did, but it's shocking to realize over and over just how useless you are as a father. i think it can't get any worse and then it does. you are a complete and utter failure as a parent.

[grant] this is why i can’t forgive you. you didn’t have to mess up so badly. but no. whatever you got out of the relationship was enough to convince you to sit there and watch my mother ruin all of us, and even thought you weren't happy with her, you got by with fucking other women and only regretted staying a billion years later when you noticed you had nothing of substance left in life but my mother. and that’s a pretty depressing way to live, isn’t it?

[juhani] i stayed because i thought we deserved each other.

[grant] with that attitude, maybe you did.

[grant] listen, i'll admit this, no problem. it’s no one’s fault that she is the way that she is. it’s not even yours. she’s abusive, and what she does to other people is her fault and her responsibility. she’s excellent, too, at convincing you to just go along with it and never question her. it's not that hard to get caught in her trap at first, and she will try her very best to break you. but at some point, you have to question anyway. at some point, you have to recognize you deserve better and do something about it.

[grant] but you didn’t. not until it was too late for it to mean anything.

[grant] i would never think i've done everything right, but in the end, i've respected myself enough to make better choices and do something about the situation i was in, and i've had to do that because the adults in my life weren’t responsible or organized enough to fix things before responsibility fell into my hands.

[juhani] you are a braver and a better man than i.

[grant] i'm glad i am, but do you know how exhausting it is to be brave all the time?

[grant] i am because you weren’t. it is entirely because you failed. you weren’t brave enough to give a fuck about yourself or your kids, so i've had to be brave my entire life. brave enough to survive my childhood, then brave enough to leave. and guess what? i don’t want to be brave. i just want to exist. and back then, i just wanted to be a kid.

[grant] just a kid.

[grant] i wanted to come home from school and play with my pokemon cards and hear my mom and my dad say, “hi honey! how was your day? we love you!" i didn’t want to live in fear of what horror would befall me each and every day.

[grant] fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. you stole my childhood. you stole elizabeth’s childhood. you stole kelly’s childhood.

[grant] you and my mother, but you could have done something. you could have given us our childhoods back. you could have done something! you should have done something!

[grant] you didn’t have to do everything right even. parents mess up, i know that, but you could have at least tried. the bar was on the floor. i would have over the moon living in a single parent household with a father who at least showed up to my hockey games if he wasn’t busy at work and gave me a hug every once in a while.

[grant] and you know what, you did more than steal our childhoods. because you couldn’t stand to sacrifice your comfort long enough to take care of your kids, we all have to live in permanent hell. i have to spend the rest of my life freaking out when someone walks up behind me or speaks too loudly or–god forbid–touches me! it took me years to finally learn not to flinch when someone high fives me! and kelly–i don’t know what she deals with, but i know her life can’t be peaceful.

[grant] again, i am not blaming you for what my mother did–i know she was not kind to you either– but i do blame you for not even trying to stop her or get away from her. you were an adult with power, and you didn't use an ounce of it. actually, you did use it, just not for good. you threw me specifically under the bus because it was easier to let my mother use me as a punching bag than you.

[juhani] you’re right.

[juhani] you’re right, grant.

[grant] i have nothing else to say, short of "fuck you" again. i think i'm done yelling at you.

[grant] no, wait, one last thing. what did you even see in my mother in the first place? what was so enticing about her that you’d stay with her so long and ditch your college sweetheart for her?

[juhani] i don’t know. i don’t know anymore.

[grant] i guess it was two people drawn to each other's misery.

[grant] great. well, that’s all, folks.

[grant] good luck with the new family. maybe you can make it right with someone else and enjoy a totally fresh start because you will never make it right with me, and i will never let you forget what you did to me and my sisters. and don’t lose varpu again, by the way. she is, like, far out of your league–so far it's not even funny–and you are lucky to have this second chance with her and to have a good relationship with her kids.

[grant] also, just so it's clear, i don't want to speak to you anymore after this. don't call me, i won't call you either, except in one circumstance. i'll consider it on the day my mother kicks the bucket. we can toast to the end of that chapter of our lives and hope that the haunting ends. because surely you have to feel a little haunted, too, right? i have a sinking suspicion that’s why you reconnected with me. you don’t care about me. you care about that fresh start, about making yourself feel better about wasting your life and fucking up everyone around you.

[ohitslen]

BREAKING NEWS 🎉Ch. 5 of The neighbor from 311 is up!🎉

[aeolianblues]

pop stars aren't born in the 70s anymore like they used to be. These days they're born in a year uncomfortably close to my own which makes me clutch my chest and cry out

[fbfh]

good news wildcats, I'm finally watching hsmtmts s4. I just finished episode 1 and I am SCREAMING.

toxic ricky is back!!!!!!!!!!! unhinged unstable season 1 ricky my darling!!!! my beloved!!!!!!!!! my pathetic soggy prayers have been answered!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[stories-by-rie]

how to feel excited about my own projects again

[blizzardfluffykpop]

"I don't wanna write smut- but the parasites in me (tbz) want me to write smut."