divergentpracticerachel

[divergentpracticerachel]

Final piece - textile quilt sculpture

“Insecurity blanket”

Wrapping a pretty pink bow around anything will make it cute. I don’t wanna feel grossed out and uncomfortable in my own skin. Here I am at home within my insecurities having fun swinging from my own guts. The unpleasant can be beautiful if you change your perspective and be kind to yourself.

Evaluation of project -

When I first began this project I had a lot I wanted to achieve such as a short film and a larger scale piece. Unfortunately I decided to focus all of my time onto one piece as I thought this would be a better use of my time so I could make one really good piece. I could have used my time better at the beginning and this would allowed me to create more than one piece but I struggled to get started even though I had many ideas. Once I started experimenting I was excited to create my final but I always struggle to start my final piece in class. I took my piece home and I was able to work on it a lot better I think I am easily distracted by my environment in class. At home I finished my final piece but I didn’t like it so I took time to change it and I was able to change it to look how I wanted it to. I was also pleased I was able to learn a lot this project by reading books and articles about psychology which was very interesting. I also learned a lot about myself , I thought it was interesting that when I show people my final piece they are disgusted but when I look at it I feel very happy and I think it looks very cute. It has made me accept my insecurities a lot more and even grow to like them so I’m very pleased with how my final turned out and what I have taken away from the project even though I wanted to achieve more and be on a larger scale I am still proud of what I have created.

[divergentpracticerachel]

I added a lot more details and changed the gut composition in some areas and I like it a lot more now I think it was lacking detail. I also added plastic doll eyes to the doll which I think is a lot better than the face before it suits this piece a lot better. I haven’t seen it properly put up on a wall yet as all I could do was pin it up in my hall way but I couldn’t get it up high enough and my hall is very small so I’m looking forward to putting it up in the exhibition space.

[divergentpracticerachel]

I have sewn everything together and I painted over the dolls face and gave it no eyes and just a patch over its face where it’s mouth would be.

I really don’t like this piece at all right now so I will have to change some things or maybe add some more to get it to the point where I actually like it. I also think the doll needs eyes and I’m unsure if I want to paint them on glue them on. I am going to take a look at my sketches and development to see what I liked and what worked well and add some more details.

[divergentpracticerachel]

I gave the character a sad crying face to capture the feelings I felt but I don’t like it at all and it looks silly to me. I also really didn’t like the white fur fabric so I covered most of it with pink which I think looks better. I am going to paint over the face and try one of the other designs I planted before.

[divergentpracticerachel]

I made a larger character for the piece. I think I want it to go in the middle of the piece but I will have to see what looks good. I am also unsure of what the face will look like but I’m going to paint it today and if I don’t like it I will just keep repainting it till I get something I like.

[divergentpracticerachel]

Final piece development

I have started my final piece and so far I have started layering patches onto a larger piece of fabric. The patches are silicone , fur and fabric. They are tough to sew through and I am dreading how long it will take to sew it all but I am also excited to see it finished.

I ran out of silicone too so I need to get some more.

[divergentpracticerachel]

“The task we must set for ourselves is not to feel secure, but to be able to tolerate insecurity” – Erich Fromm

[divergentpracticerachel]

Joan eardley

I really like the paintings Joan Eardley made of children. I think her style and rough expressive way of drawing/painting captures the children’s personalities and their cheeky little faces. Even though most of the children she painted were from poor families and seemed to not be in the best living situations , the kids were still full of charm and curiosity. Joan painted them how she saw them which was usually in dirty clothing with dirty faces but I think these paintings captured the personalities of the Kids so well. Although some of the paintings look quite morbid or creepy at first I think that just adds to the charm.

[divergentpracticerachel]

Some images that inspired me this project -

https://au.pinterest.com/frankenstuffedcreatures/divergent/

Final ideas -

Here is a couple sketches I did of some compositions I like of the guts and the character. The one with the guts at the side is simple and will be easy to attach them there but the other one the guts create a swing for the character to sit in which I think would look really cool and interesting and also tie into the idea of chid like wonder and play. When I start working on my final I will have to see which is doable.

[divergentpracticerachel]

Explore the world like a child. Connect to ur inner child and become playful again.

This is something I have to relearn. When I was little I didn’t care at all about what I looked like. I loved my differences and thought I was cool. I need to become like that again and listen to my inner child.

This is me as a kid. Not a care in the world just having a tea party picnic with my teddies. Smiling for the camera cause that’s what you are supposed to do , smile and show your cute face. I never smile with my teeth out anymore. I look so cute in this picture and hope I can reconnect with this version of myself again.

There is also pictures of me as a young teenager probably about 13/14 and again I didn’t have a care in the world and when people took pictures of me I was more than happy to pose and make silly happy faces to capture the moment. I enjoyed having fun and playing and I was comfortable in my skin. It would be good if I could add a element of my inner child to my piece if it’s a patch on the quilt or something to do with playing like a swing from guts or something.

[divergentpracticerachel]

Mini me test

I painted some more fabric and once it was dry I cut out the shapes for the little character. I then chose to hand sew it together as using the machine would make the parts very difficult to turn inside out. This was just a quick and rough idea of what it might look like and it did help me a lot to visualise it but I think I will want it to be a lot larger and I’m not sure what face I want it to have , I don’t want it to be too cartoony but I will have to try out some faces and see what I like.

[divergentpracticerachel]

For my final piece I thought it would be interesting to have the guts hanging either infront or off of the textile piece but now I think I would rather have them be part of the textile piece in some way either sewn on as a patch or tangled all over it over lapping each other.

I also thought it could be interesting to add a version of myself into the piece since I am no longer creating a short film that would have probably had me it in to show these are my insecurities I could add something that resembles me.

[divergentpracticerachel]

FILM OR SCULPTURE ?

When I did the proposal for this project I was set on creating a sculptural textile piece that would feature in a short video. I wanted this to capture the emotions I felt about the parts of myself I hide from others and my insecurities. I am enjoying putting a look of detail and doing lots of experiments on the textile piece that I think I will focus on that and nothing else. If I had more time I would like to do the film with the textile sculpture piece but sadly I think I was too ambitious this time and didn’t realise how long it would take just to create one piece that is so detailed!

This is a sketch I did that was an idea for the short film , floating in the forest almost dream like looking for something but not sure what.

[divergentpracticerachel]

I wanted to test out some other fabrics to see if they would work well as guts. I also sewed one flat and didn’t stuff it , I don’t really like this one, it might work well if my piece was all flat but since I want the guts to be 3D I think I will sew it how I usually do, I like the fabric I used tho it is bumpy and textured. The black guts could be interesting to use in my final to contrast with the pink ones.

[divergentpracticerachel]

Combining experiments

I think these are the colours I will use for my final mostly flesh tones , pinks and black. I really like how the different textures look together and the contrast of the soft cute pink with the flesh and the black hair sprouting out. It was easy to sew them together on the sewing machine but I don’t really like how you can’t see the stitches so I then when over it with my needle and thread and embroidered some stitches over it , it was very hard to do now that the cotton fabric has paint on it but if I use pliers I think it will be okay.

[divergentpracticerachel]

The abject experiment

When doing my research in psychology I learned about the abject and things that cause this response and an everyday thing that causes it is hair. Hair where it shouldn’t be and not attached to a human. So if it’s in your food or if your watching a horror movie and a weird creature has hair but it’s not quite human or if we see lumps of hair somewhere it shouldn’t be we are grossed out.

I got some felt fibres and old hair extensions and cut them into little bundles. I then used stuff I had around my house to tie them up to kinda make them look cute. It reminds me when someone keeps a lock of hair in a memory box or something. Doing this to me is a way to take away that disgust and hide it with something cute.

As a way to say not all insecurities are gross and ugly, they can be cute.

[divergentpracticerachel]

Painting on cotton experiment

I had some scrap cotton in my house so I decided I would try and paint it to mimic skin. I also wanted to continue to look at my own insecurities. For this experiment I chose to look at veins , spots and bruises. I used a mix of pens and paint and pastels. I really like the texture the cotton has after it has been painted it’s almost like thick fake leather. I also really like how the insecurities look on the fabric I definitely will use this technique for my final I just have to find some more fabric and also see how it looks with other fabrics.