#also i think it helps I have no real goals this year just write consistently and submit to litmags 👍

[dallonwrites]

playing with the idea of december always being a set in month break from writing 👍 accidentally done this twice just from burnout or being busy with life and have only written things here or there but both times i’ve found that 1) my ability to brainstorm ideas and scenes is much better without pressure to put anything down and it’s nice to just focus on that intentionally and 2) returning to writing coinciding with the new year feels nice it feels like i can file away anything from the last year i want to and have a fresh start without starting over completely 👍 usually i worry about writing after a break but writing has come so naturally this week and I’m like wow maybe writing is easier and more enjoyable when you have intentional breaks rather than waiting for the break to become a necessity 👍

[maybe-boys-do-love]

Finished Last Twilight, and I'm not adding to the ableism discourse, because most things have already been said and with a lot of beautiful nuance that I agree with. But I do want to talk about how that ending arrived because of Aof Noppharnach's consistent symbolic commentary on the experience of living with HIV in much of his work, with an approach that's unique among all queer content. Imma skip Gay OK Bangkok since its not even a metaphor there, but I'll explain my rationale for the others, and we can just appreciate the foundation Gay OK Bangkok lays for us to think about the rest of his stuff.

The motif of life-saving medical intervention comes up in all but one of the works he takes screenwriting credit on. He's Coming To Me: P'Med dies originally because of a lack of medical intervention. 1000 Stars: Tian gets a heart transplant. Moonlight Chicken: this one's more subtle, but the whole series is explicitly established in the context of reopening following the COVID pandemic, and Wen will later say to Jim, "we are survivors." It was this line upon rewatch that made me start considering how thorough this theme is. Survivors of what? The meaning is three-fold: hard lessons in love, COVID, and, for gay men of their age, the HIV epidemic. The hope of medical intervention for Day's condition takes on a secondary meaning, with this trend in mind, even if the mixed disability politics between visual impairment and being HIV positive really fails.

His comparisons are more intricate though. Pills and daily regimens are a consistent motif. Day has his daily eye-drops, Tian his pills (which are presumably immune-suppressants to help accept the transplant but I'm not going to Viki right now and watching every ep to find out so someone feel free to correct me). 'But people take medicine for lots of things,' you say. 'Just because its gay doesn't mean its an HIV metaphor!' You have a fair point! But here's where Aof gets real fun and sneaky. P'Med dies from lack of pills the same year Torfun, whose heart will save Tian's life, is born, 1997. I'm mentioned once before 1997 as important for the class-conscious Aof because of the Asian financial crisis that Thailand set off that year. However, 1997 is also important because its the year HAART, or Highly Active Anti-Retroviral Therapy was first used in Thailand (it had hit the market only one year earlier). HAART, a multi-drug regimen, boosted someone's life-expectancy with HIV up by 15 years, and its side-effects were significantly milder than previous approaches. The medical conditions of P'Med and Torfun's heart point us directly to HAART, and what it could offer.

Now we're moving out of the medical and into the experiential connections because, while Dark Blue Kiss is the only work Aof chose to take credit for screen-writing without incorporating medical references, it is by far the most dense with references to the issue of concealment. Its in the narrative as people closet identities and hide relationships, yes, but its in SO much of the visuals, too, most obviously the Pete & Kao mug hidden inside its coozie. It's easy to see the surface story about gay visibility and the closet, but there's a more specific subtext here about the associated condition that intensified the stigma of being gay and how that impacts your sense of self. Bad Buddy explores this issue less, but even in the BL Bubble, its haunted by the stigma of homophobia--it just shuffles it over onto rivalry so the audience can experience it without reproducing it.

However, the grief and shame of surviving when others haven't haunts Aof's other works much more intensely. Jim and Tian both are hung up on guilt for someone's death that they did not actually cause, continuing to pursue the goals for those that passed rather than their own. Then, there's Thun and P'Med, which is the best allegory for living and dating with HIV, bar none. It goes into the feelings of stigma and the limits of physical intimacy with partners that living with HIV caused, especially prior to Truvada's introduction in 2004. Even then, the show depicts how a HIV negative partner maintains the choice to participate in their own regimens, as Thun's desires for physical intimacy with P'Med manage their relationship and never the other way around.

This sense of required separation and gay identities that are less sex-focused also play into oft-maligned motifs in Aof's work. He's talked explicitly about people's criticisms of the limited physical intimacy in his earlier works that led to the more prominent stuff in Bad Buddy, but I hope given the above context, we can appreciate why physical intimacy is less of a priority than other kinds (and I'd add that 1000 Stars, which got the most sh*t about it, is actually one of the most erotically-charged BLs out there because of it's restraint). Then, you have the finales where characters separate for periods of time, and while I don't see this as explicitly tied to HIV experiences (Aof is literally following the book of romcom beats there, even if everyone whines about it), I can't help but appreciate a tangential connection to loving beyond time and distance that was required for those who lived with or lost loved ones to HIV.

I would've loved to see a version of Last Twilight that didn't absolutely bungle its metaphor, because it had every element to be something great (except, I'm sorry to the fans, lead actors with the necessary queer romantic chemistry). Watching the last episode, when the show seemed to finally rediscover plot and pacing, all the other pieces that had been drowned out by the disability conversation peeked their heads out, and I saw what the show wanted to be. The topics related to living with HIV of stigma, survivor's guilt, and assistive technologies: they were all right there, not just for Day but for everyone, if only they had been given the proper time to marinate to develop more complexity. It's the rare instance of a show where I'll choose to spend time imagining what could have been rather than obsessing over what was or just moving on. Even a misstep from Aof, like this, is overflowing with so many more layers than most series. The failures of Last Twilight, in relationship to his other works, even let you see how much food for thought he's providing.

[onlyplatonicirl]

boom explosion. guess what its been 2 years since i came into your ask box to bother you about blogverse!!! as usual its the roleplayer behind the first lorelcest kid Oleander, Mercury, and most importantly to me, Bv!Shandyo

genuine apologies if you dont enjoy these! thats pretty fair and i get that it didnt affect everyone else as strongly as it did me, i just feel like its important that you know how much youve affected my life positively.

so, i was a bullied, neglected kid with unsupervised internet acess when blogverse happened (still a kid just less, woo!) and blogverse, especially your blog was probably the only part of the internet that i genuinely believed changed me for the better.

the sense of belonging, escapism, and the opportunity to create a character and show them to others like me was incredibly beneficial for me as a person and an artist in the long run, and to this day making OCs, writing, and especially drawing are passions that i consider deeply important to me- passions that blogverse and its community didnt exactly start, but they played a big role in fostering it. i know you just accidentally one day made an entire community that lasted two months but i cannot stress to you enough that it changed my life and i cant thank you & queenie (unsure if they still go by that, sorry) enough for it.

I also majorly admired you (and many others in a lot of the communities you associated with, but especially you) greatly as a person, artist & writer!!! you were my art goal and while that's changed as ive grown, striving towards this goal nurtured a hobby that i now know was/is a special interest to me.

while probably seeming like minor interactions with some kid who didnt know how to write a consistent character to you, to me your patience, kindness & continual creation of art genuinely helped me retreat from my abusive home life, gain a sense of belonging as a bullied autistic child, get better at art n writing, & grow as a person. i still lurk in communities like blogverse, but bv was my first and forever will be cherished in my memory.

so yeah. the things you do affect people whether you think so or not, and while i dont majorly interact with your content anymore, i hope youre well n you keep being great. :)

I want you to know that I’m at a friend’s house right now and she’s cooking herself dinner. I’m reading this paragraph and I literally start tearing up in front of her and she asks me what’s wrong 😭😭😭

Legitimately I feel like I have somehow won at life, like I won a lottery, because I don’t possibly know what I did to deserve messages like this and it makes me feel so amazing to know that I have positively effected the life of another person. That’s all I can hope for in life, and I can feel how much heart went into this letter so I’m trying to respond in turn

Even though at the time of all of this I had just around turned 18 years old, I was still very much a kid who was also trying to escape from a less-than-ideal home life. I never expected an audience when writing tcoti, it was purely my own self-indulgent passion project with my own hyper-specific headcanons. The fact that other people resonated with it so much and it created so many other inspirations as completely unexpected and absolutely baffling to me. I could have never seen it coming in a million years. It changed MY life for the better to know a my own silly utmv ideas literally inspired like. Countless others

I’m also going to share this post with Queenie, because they NEED to see this. Blogverse was her passionate project and I think to know you were as touched by it as she was and loved the writing is amazing. Also I’m showing Slime. @cosmic-chronologer look at this post with your eyes. I didn’t contribute with the writing as much as I should have because of how busy I was, and the real masterminds behind the project go to Slime Queenie and Achro. I hope they see this message!!!!

Thank you for telling me about the positive impact me and the others have had on you, it genuinely makes me so happy to hear. I’m SO happy you’re still continuing to create!! Most of my utmv friends back from then have left the fandom obv but I’m still in contact with most of them :) it means so much to me that you told me, because otherwise I would have never known how you feel!!!!!

I wish you have been well all these years. I loved all the ship kids you made :))))))

[just-a-carrot]

Carrot, I love your art. It is so unique and expressive and the way you portray emotion is so raw. You somehow pack so much character into such simplistic designs and I commend you for that!

I was wondering what your art journey was/is like, if you're okay with telling? When did you start drawing, how did you develop, and how did you get to where you are now?

Thank you!

ahhhh that's really kind ;-; 💕

I feel like I've been drawing even longer than I've been writing. I used to cart my sketchbook around everywhere as a kid and just be sitting in a corner drawing while everyone else was talking or doing stuff

I drew tons of anime growing up, mostly fanart of sailor moon and ranma and fushigi yuugi and stuff like that. I'd also come up with ideas for manga I wanted to draw (my mom had to convince me in junior high that moving to Japan and becoming a manga artist was not a realistic career goal lol) and I would order those physical screentones you had to cut out and place on the paper and use a G-pen with a bottle of ink to ink

most of my life I've drawn on paper and would line by hand, scan it, then color it. I was convinced I couldn't use tablets because I'd only ever tried on a glossy Samsung tablet and I hated it (it wasn't until working on OW that I bought a non-screen tablet and that changed my world)

I ended up getting a degree in studio art drawing because I didn't know what else to do (I started as a music major but didn't like it, wanted to switch to Japanese but my school didn't offer it, so chose art lol). I will not say my time in school radically helped my art... but I did get to do some figure drawing and did do a lot of art. but I felt quite out of place as many of my professors would try to talk me out of my cartoony style (I still remember when we had to share our sketchbooks with the class and mine was full of fanart done in my own style for things like gijinka Mario and Star Fox, but all my classmates told me it felt fake and copied since it was cartoons and not real art... 💦)

anyway......... I tried to go into animation storyboarding after school but couldn't get any ins or leads so I went back to school for Japanese LOL art became just a hobby again. But I continued drawing all the time. When I was in Japan and didn't have a scanner, I started doing mouse drawings in MS Paint. I think this is where my affinity for pixel drawings started. I'd continue to draw, draw, draw for all the fandoms I've been in since. my style evolved and changed a lot, sometimes a bit more cartoony, sometimes a bit more realistic (but still mostly anime-esque style)

I don't think it started turning away from anime entirely until I got into some cartoon fandoms. I think that's when the big ears and noses started to develop. And then a short while later I made Easter, which you can see has a slightly different style than early OW but it was like the precursor. I also returned to the mouse drawn MS paint style for the Easter CGs because I didn't have a scanner. this style continued into my early OW drawings but I guess kinda kept evolving as I kept drawing the chars for years and years. It's become a lot more fluid and organic now and I've gotten more consistent with the style and how I draw the chars

I guess that's it, really!! I feel like I've left out a ton but it already feels so long and I can't really think of anything else specific to add or focus on, so I'll just leave it with that kinda summary I guess 🤣 but ofc if there's anything more specific you want to ask I will do my best to answer!!

[sassysnowperson]

Why am I not writing anymore?

I've been kicking this one around inside my head and have decided to share here. See if it helps me get it out of the incoherent jumble in my head and into some orderly thoughts.

Burnout?

This was why I stopped writing. I should have stopped writing at the pace I was probably about a year earlier, but I really wanted to hit a million words on AO3. I did! I'm glad I hit the goal, but oof, I felt it. But I don't think that's what's happening right now. I've had time to recover, work got a lot less stressful when I changed jobs, I'm happier. I'm not exhausted when I think about writing anymore. But I'm not doing it.

Well, wait, AM I not doing it?

I do have a couple people I chat with about fandom things. It's not writing for an audience, but it is creative. That's where I figured the energy was going. But interestingly, I started doing word count on my therapy notes, out of curiosity. Yeah, I'm writing at least 2k a week at work. It's not creative writing (but it is narrative writing) and its THE EXACT OPPOSITE of for a public audience, but it is burning similar energy in terms of sit down at computer and type time.

But is that really a bad thing?

Maybe not! I think the time at the desk is bad, but I don't have to write at my desk. Laptops enable gremlin writing everywhere. And maybe it's easier to write when I'm already in the habit of writing.

Really?

Maybe? I'm not pivoting from notes to fun writing, so the momentum isn't quite there. But I gotta admit, word counting the therapy notes did wake something up inside me.

Word counting? Seriously? What about The Story That Needs To Be Told? Creativity?? Having something to say?

Wow, inner voice, you got judgy real fast there. I think...I think you're part of the problem. Aside from like, three fics out of that million words I wrote, I never started knowing the complete story. I have a rough idea of what I want to say, or a dynamic I want to explore, and then I find the rest as I go. So if I'm waiting for The Story That Needs to be Told, I'm probably not gonna write again. I think I need to fall back in love with the process.

You wrote a million words in four years. What was the process that worked then, and why isn't it working now?

Well, part of it was the wordcount. Not making words for words sake, but having a solid metric to point to in terms of progress. I have ADHD, and the fact is if I want to do something, I need to make it fun and measurable. Tracking wordcount is both. But it wasn't just wordcount. It was also talking with people about things, gift giving, writing hangout time, and other people's excitement motivating me. I don't have that consistently right now. I have people that have made it clear they'll cheer me on (♥️), but I don't have it as a habit, as a part of my regular day to day life.

Why not?

Well, I stopped writing. That's kinda a big one. But also...writing took up a lot of time. I stopped watching new media, basically. I wrote the most while I was in a reading slump. I'm not comfortable with this idea, but I think I need to wrestle with the idea that I focus on one thing at a time. I don't know if I can watch all the Dimension 20 seasons and write like I did. I don't know if I can have a good reading life and a good writing life. That makes me sad. I don't want it to be true.

But is it? Sometimes sad things are true.

Too right, inner voice. And I don't know! I think I can safely say that without intentionality, I will tend to do 1-2 leisure activities at a time. But I now that I'm thinking about it, I suspect the trouble is in task switching, not the task itself. If I make a goal to task switch, maybe I'll be more able to.

And set more reasonable goals. You probably can't write 250k words a year and do other stuff.

Yeah, probably not. Maybe I should set a wordcount maximum, to make sure I do other stuff too.

But do you *want* to write? Do you miss it?

...yes?

Oh man I hoped I'd be more confident in answering that. Do I want to write, or do I miss being A Person That Writes?

Well, we already established you are actually writing a lot right now. So maybe let's phrase it as: Do you want to tell stories to a wider audience?

...Yeah. Yeah I do! I miss that! I miss being a storyteller.

So either you find some other way to tell stories...

Like framing my self-analysis as a conversation?

Maybe this whole method should have tipped you off sooner, yeah.

Good point. On both counts. Either I start a podcast or a twitch stream or something, or I go back to the way I'm most comfortable telling stories.

Writing.

Yep.

So what are you going to write about?

I don't know, inner voice! But waiting on that to be clear hasn't worked. Think I just need to start somewhere. But it's good to know I want to start.

[unnonexistence]

Unnonexistence's Notecard Method for Learning Mathematics

Hello! This is the study method I developed after flunking out of first-year university algebra and having to retake it! It may or may not be particularly innovative and it may or may not help you, but I did (eventually) graduate with a Bachelor's degree in math despite having unmedicated ADHD, so, y'know, there's that. I owe it mostly to the notecards.

DISCLAIMER that any example cards are my actual real notes & I am not fact-checking them. They lean towards intuitive rather than strictly correct & were only ever intended to be for personal reference. I did pass these courses, and I think most of the cards are pretty good, but like... use at your own risk.

You Will Need:

A pack of index cards. I like the 3" x 5" ones that are lined on the front and blank on the back.

Some pens you like. I use fine-tip markers in about 4 colours, plus a white gel pen for fixing mistakes. Pencil can get smudgy over time, so it's not ideal.

Any course materials you have (notes, textbook, etc.)

Optionally, a nice box for your index cards. (You can also just use a rubber band or something. Whatever).

General Approach

We're making reference cards. One concept per card. You probably have an intuitive sense of how big A Concept is for you - it should be an amount of information that can comfortably fit in your brain at one time. If it doesn't fit on one or maaaybe two cards, it's probably too big.

Here's a topic I broke up into two cards - Chain Rule and Extension of Chain Rule. One IS an extension of the other, but the information is a lot easier to remember in two chunks. (3 pictures, here, because the first card is double-sided).

You are NOT trying to cram as much information as you can onto each card. You are trying to create an easy reference for yourself, which means making the cards as clear and legible as you can. When it's 5 minutes before your calculus exam and you're having a panic attack because you forgot how the chain rule works, you want to be able to flip through, find that Chain Rule card, and be able to absorb the information on there.

For math courses, A Concept is often a definition, a theorem, a formula, or a problem-solving approach. As much as possible, you want to write it down in a way that makes sense to you. Add any helpful tips or intuitive explanations or things you keep forgetting. If your cards are blank on the back, that's a great place to draw diagrams.

(On the back of this card you can see where I wrote "Rho" in pencil and never bothered to replace it with the symbol, lol. My prof had bad handwriting & I wasn't sure how it was supposed to look.)

Proofs are often too long to fit on a card, but if you have a theorem where the proof is important, it's a good idea to write out a little summary of how the proof works/how to do it.

Ideally, you do the work of Understanding The Concept when you're making the card, and then you can just refer back to it in future. I forget definitions a lot, and this saved me so much time that I would have spent reading one confusing page of the textbook over and over or trying to find stuff in my notes.

I try to keep my formatting mostly consistent. Clear title. Card numbers in the top right corner so I know if anything's missing. Definitions in black ink with important words underlined in colour. I tend to use coloured ink for things like examples and personal commentary. I also use it to create a visual distinction when I do need to cram something on there (not ideal, but sometimes necessary).

The Method

Sit down with your class notes or your textbook. Your goal is to get all the important concepts you're supposed to have learned in this course so far onto notecards. (Probably not all in one go.)

The ideal time to do this is right after each lecture (most math lectures are around 2-5 cards worth of material), but that's easier said than done. I always had a hard time keeping up & all my card decks, as a result, get spottier towards the end of the term. It's fine. Do your best.

I mostly went through the course material in order. I kept checklists of which lectures I had already made cards for, and which ones still needed doing.

If you don't really get something, but you know you need a card for it, at least put the definition down. You can make a better version or add more notes later. I sometimes make placeholder cards with just a title so I'll remember to come back to something.

If you write down a definition, and you're like "this refers to another thing, and idk what it is but it's come up a few times now," you probably need to make a notecard for that other thing.

How I Use The Cards

When you're doing assignments, it's really useful to have your stack of cards there to refer to. If something comes up that you don't remember the definition for, you can look it up. If you're doing proofs, having all the theorems from the course handy is a great way of getting ideas for where to start. If you're doing calculations, it's helpful to have the techniques you need written out step by step.

I spent a lot of my exam prep time making cards and going through the ones I'd made. It gave me a sense of what I already knew and what I needed to spend more time on. Having things broken up into small chunks also made it a lot easier for my brain to hang onto them.

After making cards like this for a few terms, I also found them really helpful for reviewing concepts from previous courses. Sometimes you just need to refresh your memory on something from the prereq so you're not totally lost. I've graduated now & I still refer back to my cards sometimes.

Conclusion

Well, that's my (somewhat rambly) explanation of my main study method! I hope it's helpful for at least a few people out there. I wish you the best of luck learning math & whatever else you might be studying. You've got this!!

[roguephenon]

Hi, I started planning my own KND fic, and started with figuring out the ages and birthdates, and I have to ask. 1. How was it for you the process of coming up with a chronology of a show that doesn't really have a set and consistent timeline? 2. In what year does your fic takes place?

My process and answer is long so have it at under the cut

The first part of my process was deciding if I wanted a set timeline or just to go with what worked for me from fic to fic. Over the years (and after watching the series hundreds of times and taking novels worth of notes and screenshots), I’ve settled on a set timeline that works for me and what I like to do.

(Fun fact: I have 3 different timelines! 1 is the main one I use, and the other two are bit more loose depending on the AU I wrote. In one, the GKND doesn’t exist.)

First, I would decide how religiously you want to try and make sense of the timeline the show tries to give us. There aren’t many, but there are a few events that have specific years that can be pinned down. For example, one is the Great Junior High Rebellion of ‘99 where the recommissioning module was allegedly “damaged beyond repair” (maybe they didn’t try turning it off and back on again?). The next one is 1969 where the KND faked the moon landing so adults wouldn’t discover the Moonbase. They’re small throwaway mentions, but important if you need some dates to anchor to.

Also consider that (probably almost) everything in season 6 that’s not a flashback happens AFTER Op. ZERO due to the shots of the Moonbase being the rebuilt Moonbase Zero.

Now, saying all that, my next piece of advice may be weird, but honestly, I think it’s important: don’t stress too much about it! Details are essential, but getting hung up on them can be a headache and stop the process. As you mentioned, the show doesn’t have a consistent timeline, so trying to make sense of everything will run you up a wall.

Just breathe and pick any year or era you want that makes sense or resonates with you! Wanna set it in 2018 or even in 2024? Go for it!

But why aren't kids/teens seen using smartphones? Maybe there’s super duper strict regulation that keeps anyone under 13 (perhaps even 18 because Father apparently controls the Teen Ninjas) from not having smartphones, and the KND uses 2x4 tech as a way to get around it. There’s already legislation in the works in the US that does this already to ban kids from using social media.

How come sector V are all in the same grade yet are different ages? Again, maybe in this world, there’s some super weird law the adult villains lobbied for that keeps kids in certain grades for extended times. There was literally an episode that ended with a 4th Grade President going to City Hall and coming out and saying, “by the way, school day ends at 8:25pm now. Sucks to suck, also Father is the best.”

Let the show's lack of a consistent timeline be an unexpected strength! Besides one or two cultural nods as the show evolves, there's not too much to date it. For example, they make up corporations and franchises to parody real ones and never give the name of a sitting world leader.

Also, it’s a cartoon, and their world is not bound to the same laws as ours. It’s not real life! Be silly and stretch things if you need to! If trying to take the show and make it more realistic is your goal, then, of course, do that as well! Just for me personally, I try not to get bogged down with “this event or timeline doesn’t exactly match up or happen how it would in real life” because I’m not writing real life: I’m writing Kids Next Door fighting candy monsters or the living avatars of puberty.

I’m getting off-topic. Anyway, the last piece of help I offer is just (if you can) rewatching the show and paying attention to context clues in the background! In season 5, two shots of a gravestone end with 2005. So, with that in mind, we can infer a few things:

1. From wherever you put that episode in timeline, it at least happens during or after the year 2005.

2. The same gravestone appears again in IT, so everything that has happened up to Rachel deciding to call a game of tag, again, happens either during or after the year 2005.

Take that as you will!

For the next part of your question! If you’re talking about Cold Reception SPOILER AHEAD BECAUSE IT WILL NEVER BE DIRECTLY STATED IN THE FIC! ....

...

...

...

you really wanna know?

...

...

...

...

The year Cold Reception takes place is 2011.

Hope this helps! If not, let me know and maybe I can give more specifics! Good luck on your fic! Writing is fun.

[mstudi0s]

5 Pieces of Advice About Manifestation - 👇🏻

Disclaimer :

Everything I say here is from personal experience. I am not the soul master of all things manifestation. These are just a couple of things I've learned along the way of my journey that have benefited and shown real results. Now, with that being said, let's get to it. . .

Affirmations 🪐

It's very simple but yet still effective. Sleeping with them on and even repeating them at some points throughout the day has shown to work for me and create results. Not only are affirmations something you can easily incorporate into your routine, but they can also give you fast results. These sentences can be as long or as short as you want then to be. You can either use affirmations from online or create ones of your own. Both work! I also recommend sleeping with them so you can reprogram your subconscious mind throughout the night. The channel I recommend and use often is Jessica Heslop. She has affirmations for almost anything you are trying to manifest.

Journaling/Writing Things Down 🪐

Another thing that has helped me manifest is journaling and writing things down, and this can come in the form of things I'm grateful for, negative thoughts or even imiting beliefs I want to release, or even just ideas I eventually want to take to the next level. Whatever it is, it does not matter. But I definitely believe in having having a writing or journaling practice in whatever shape or form this looks for you. It can be very exhausting or even stressful, keeping everything in your mind. Writing stuff down just allows you to get everything out and can even quite your head space, even if it's just for a moment.

Imaginative Acts 🪐

Now, I know that not everyone can visualize or sea with their mind. So if this is something you struggle with, don't worry. There are definitely other pieces of advice on this thread that can still help you. You don't need imagination or to be able to see in pictures to manifets, but for those who can and those who are similar to me, this is for you guys. I have always described my mind to others as a television, particularly an old one with the antennas. This is because I've lived most of my life seeing in images and pictures and have always had a very pristine photographic memory of things. It took me some years to learn that having this capability was something I could use to my advantage and a tool that could help me manifest the things I desire. After having figured this out, I started imagining myself as the person I've always wanted to be and having the things I've always wanted. And I watched as slowly but surely things that I saw in my mind would come to me or start to happen. To this day, I still use my imagination to help me manifest. Check out Neyah Visions for more on Visualizing and Imaginative Acts.

Detachment/Letting Go 🪐

I know this is a controversial topic within the manifestation community, but I do have to say this does work if done correctly. When it comes to detaching and letting go of your desire, it does not equate to giving up. In no shape or form is anyone telling you to give up on your goals or your dreams. What it means to detach is to not exert so much energy into what you want to the point that it's draining you and taking over your entire life. It's understandable and fully trusting that you are going to get there, and you don't need to know when or how. It's understanding that less is more and you could live your life not having to think about this thing 24/7, and still know that you're going to get it. To understand more about letting go, I recommend videos by Maleeka. She has a far more articulate and better way of explaining it.

Discipline 🪐

My last and final piece of advice is discipline. And this can take the shape and form of really anything. The idea of discipline is to help you maintain something for a consistent period of time so you can get the results you're looking for as well as mold your life to what you want it to be. Before I continue, I recommend watching Leo Skepi and his stuff if you want a more blunt approach on this. Now, as I was saying, it's good to have a sense of personal discipline in your life because this allows you to have at least some sense of control and structure to it. Falling off and lacking this trait will only give you spotty results or probably not any. This is why you wanna try and find a routine that works for you and not against you. Figuring this out could require you to experiment or even branch out a little bit, but in the long run, it's worth it. This last piece of advice has allowed me to get most of the things I have in my life currently.

The End

[indigostudies]

goals for 2024

2023 has been a very tumultuous year for me, for a variety of real-world reasons, and i wasn't able to reach a lot of my goals. in light of that, i want to list out the goals i have for 2024 and how i plan on reaching them as a way to keep myself responsible.

first of all, i have a number of language goals, where i would like to make advances in a variety of languages:

- i want to reach an hsk 6 level with my reading and writing. in order to reach this goal, i plan on reading two articles per day on dot, and two articles per week from TCB, and add terms i don't recognise to my TOFU deck, as well as write down example sentences using these vocab/grammar patterns, and go over them with my tutor. i also want to read the entirety of a cnovel in the original chinese. - i want to reach a basic level in korean and kazakh. in order to do this, i plan on completing the mango korean course, and the first two units on the kazakh course. i also plan on completing through the topik 2/a2 level on lingory for korean. - i want to work through the kurmanji textbook i've been using, and look for ways to continue learning on a more formal level, such as through online courses.

additionally, i have some other academic goals for uni i'd like to meet:

- i'd like to keep all my grades at or above 90% for my classes going forward. my biggest obstacle to this in 2023 was that i didn't want to get up early and actually go to class, instead watching the lectures afterwards from the recordings, and this made it harder for me to absorb information (since i usually take notes by hand while in class), as well as reduced my participation grade in that class. in order to do this, i plan on giving myself an 11:00 hard bedtime, at which point i have to turn off all my devices and lay down and at least try to go to sleep. also, i've chosen classes that are scheduled for later on in the day in the winter quarter, which should help with this. - i want to start utilising office hours and study aids more frequently. i've occasionally used office hours, but i've never taken advantage of study aids, and while i don't think i necessarily need them to keep my grades up, i want to have time to go over class material and make it stick more firmly in my mind.

i also have some miscellaneous goals:

- i want to look for a penpal programme aimed towards international penpal connections, specifically for a chinese penpal, because one of the things i need to do more is actually write in chinese by hand to make characters stick in my muscle memory, rather than just relying on my computer/phone to choose the right character while writing. - i want to write at least 20k of original fiction, and i'd like to plan out a novel at least at an outline level even if i don't manage to write it. - i want to be more consistent about posting language/uni updates on tumblr, as a way to keep myself accountable for being more purposeful in my studies. - i want to find student/interest clubs that are relevant to me and join them, and i'd like to be more involved with events and activities on campus.

that's everything i can think of! i hope that in 2024 i'll be able to meet these goals :)

[sabakos]

I do think english classes have some merit as a waste basket taxon (grammar, essay writing, media literacy, etc) that serve some actual function underneath the “high lit” bs, but it is funny how seriously people defend it. Shakespeare was mandatory in my curriculum, which I loved because I like Shakespeare. But objectively it was silly. Like a big game. You might as well make Spielberg or Tarantino mandatory. Honestly most of pre-uni school looking back felt like a game. Even most math classes consisted of “spend this class solving a sheet of differentials”. like the sunday paper puzzles. Undergrad is still bs mostly, but more boring bureaucratic bs, at least in my opinion. Seems like grad programs are where real education happens, but i could be wrong.

Yeah, I think we just as easily could have been watching classic movies and writing essays about them rather than reading books. Which I guess we also did do occasionally (watched the 1995 remake of Richard III set in the 20th century in English class, would highly recommend!) but it wasn't the focal point of the curriculum. And yeah that tracks my experience on math and science too; i didn't really learn anything beyond arithmetic and basic algebra/trig that was worth knowing until college outside of maybe a few times in AP classes. probably if i hadn't learned any of it at all in college I wouldn't have been much worse off though?

But it's probably necessary that I was doing something to train my brain how to learn things during the first 13 years of school. I kinda think education through high school is kinda like this xkcd on a broader scale:

I would believe that none of the base facts that you learn in school are retained very well, and it's concerning when people talk like it's a load-bearing element of society that people remember how their government works or what happened in history, because I think the vast majority of people don't remember any of that well enough for it to matter. We need to figure out another way to solve that problem.

And so the focus should be on teaching you those "wastebasket" skills through some method or other, in a sense that goal of the curriculum is functioning as designed I guess in the same way that texting helps you become a better writer and playing with baseballs would make you a better baseball player even if you're not playing baseball.

But being exposed to books that are enjoyable and worth reading and going through the motions of analyzing them would ideally make you read more books and also apply those same skills to visual art and movies. If you come away from that experience absolutely loathing the very idea of analyzing a piece of media then it's hard to argue that it was worth it even if it does teach you other base skills. I guess it's a bit like A Mathematician's Apology but for litcrit; if we're making you hate the thing itself in the process of giving you those other skills, we ought to figure out how to do it better.

[genericpuff]

Same anon as before talking about writing stuff and worrying about if people will find it (but not the same anon as the other asks before that) - I think many people who are budding writers and artists have these concerns and bring them to you because you A). Are a creator yourself so you know what you're talking about in a verified sense and B). Idk about other anons but some of us (like me) take your reasoning (and critique) in regard to writing seriously because of your experience and how you analyze stuff such as LO.

I think at least some of us (again I can't speak for everyone nor can I or should I) wants to make sure they're not making mistakes such as the ones RS does in writing.

Also I might just take you up on your offer of Zelda fanfic - I do so love LoZ 😅.

ugh god, am I y'all's role model now or smthing? why would you do that to yourself (ㆆ_ㆆ)

okay but jokes aside, obviously people can't help who they look up to and I'm not gonna be a dick if y'all look up to my work and what I do here, just remember also that you're not obligated to agree with everything I say or take it to heart, you also shouldn't take my analysis of LO and how it's written/drawn personally because so much of that analysis is within the VERY specific definitions in which LO exists, definitions that don't really apply to many other webtoons on the platform. If there's anything I say or criticize LO for that speaks to you and your own work on a certain level, try not to take it as a direct personal attack towards you and more just like... if the things I'm saying about LO feel like they apply to your work, take it as advice for improving your own craft.

Or don't! You can literally ignore me and do what you were gonna do anyways. I literally cannot take that away from you and you absolutely shouldn't let me. I have no real power over anyone here, that's what I mean when I say I'm just a guy participating in their hyperfixation so don't feel like you gotta take me too seriously lmao

Also, yeah, okay, I'm a webcomic creator myself, but to put myself on the cross for once - I've never succeeded at this gig. Rekindled is the most consistent audience I've had in years, I think the last time my work was in a banner rotation was in 2015 (and it wasn't on WT), and I somehow make something like $20/month off Patreon. I've had small victories along the way, it hasn't been all bad, but this isn't my living and chances are low I'll ever find mass success with it. Everything I said about not taking my opinion too seriously because I'm just a random Internet guy applies to people like Rachel as well, while I criticize her work on the basis of it being a commercial product that should know better and I DEFINITELY harp on her for a lot of shit, at the end of the day she's in no way obligated to pay even a second of attention to me because she's made way more money in webcomics in the last 2-3 years than I could ever dream of making in the 10 years I've been doing this, that's something I can't take away from her and that was never the goal when it came to discussing her work. All I have to show for my own efforts is experience and rhetoric, and a few odd readers who have been around so long I wonder why they even still follow me LOL I am your typical "can never live up to the success of those who they criticize" chronically online shitposter. I don't think I should have to be on Rachel's level to be able to discuss her work, mind you, that's half the function of an audience to begin with, but it's not like I have any real legitimacy in this industry that you should worry about what I have to say. It's not like I'm capable of robbing Rachel of her awards or the money she's made lol

And by all means, go ahead and look for my fanfiction stuff, but I'm not providing any eye bleach because I wrote it when I was like, 13 years old, so search at your own risk lmao

(and if you do find it, no you didn't （︶^︶）/hj)

[femmefatalevibe]

Hello, I hope you're doing well.

There's this man I dated years ago (like 7 or 8) and our relationship was only sexual. 6 years ago I started a long-term relationship with another man. I ended this relationship few months ago.

During this relationship, man A and I wrote to each other only to take some news, even though, I'm not proud of it, last year I wanted to take a drink with him "friendly". He refused and explained me that we never were only friends.

6 months after my breakup I reached him up. We saw each other at his home and we had sex. I have a lot to say about it, but at the end I realized I always had feelings for him and that night awaked them when seeing him.

So. When I left his home, I asked him lightly if we'll meet again. His answer was "we'll see". The problem was I had the feeling that our connection was real during the night. He welcomed me really nicely and we had deep conversations and laughs and everything. Anyway, from this answer I started to act crazily. Not crazy crazy, but impulsively, I barely let him breath, and he responded me until I think I went to far. But in an other hand I was spontaneous. I have to admit I came too strong towards him. I was afraid to lose him because of this answer and I didn't... Mastering myself.

So. He ghosted me. I understand him honestly, even though a message telling me to stop would have been correct, I would have respected it.

So, after 2 weeks of ghosting, he send me a message in which he apologized twice, made a list of all my mistakes which put him in distance because he felt embarrassed, and ended it with "I hope you're well, take care/with love". Honestly, I understand what he felt because in his shoes I would have feel invaded too.

Here is the thing, I don't wanna have the same behavior that he got, ghosting, but I don't know how to react. I want to give him an answer, and at the same time I think perhaps it's humiliating myself. What do you think about it ?

I want to pursue a connection with him, but it's impossible for me to ignore my feelings any longer. I also have my dignity that I lost a little bit last month, and I don't want to appear needy or... Childish-er.

How can I empower myself and be a woman that have her dignity while not being a ghost ? Can you help me to handle this situation ?

I hope you can.. Take care and thank you for everything.

Hi love! I'm sorry you're going through this. It's difficult to have a one-sided emotional connection to someone you have long-standing sexual compatibility with. Honestly, I would consider whether this man is even looking for any type of committed/consistent romantic connection at all. From what you've told me, he seems like a reasonably kind man who just doesn't see this relationship in the cards for him and wants to be upfront with you about it. I got ethical player vibes from this message – but I have no outside context, so there could be someone else he's getting over, another life goal/preoccupation he's dealing with at the moment, etc.

My best advice would be to thank him for sharing his reasons with you, acknowledge any boundary-crossing behavior, share that you only had positive intentions, wish him well, and let it go. You're clearly not compatible at this time if you're interested in pursuing a relationship with him and he is not.

If you have the emotional space and energy, after sending that text, I would take some time to write out a list/journal the qualities you find attractive in this man and separately write out the incompatibilities to give you a roadmap/criteria to help you evaluate future dates/ new potential partners.

Hope this helps xx

[golbrocklovely]

Random question,

Were you homeschooled? If you were, I have literally no socialization when it comes to people besides family. My mental health is rotting, I'm extremely emotionally sensitive, and I feel I really need friends, like it just feels like it would help alot.

What do you think?

i was only homeschooled for 8th grade, but i do get the sentiment of not knowing how to make friends. i used to have a big friend group that i've since lost bc back in 2020 my best friend of 10 years (and basically my life line to that group) decided she didn't want to be friends with me anymore bc her life was too stressful and she figured she was a shit friend anyway so she should cut me loose (along with a mirade of other things that went on that she blamed it on). so, i haven't had a core group of friends in a long time and i struggle to connect with ppl.

i will say, your best bet - at least at first - is to try to make friends online based on things/fandoms you are a part of. i have my couple friends on here, and even tho we almost exclusively talk about snc related shit, i still count them as my closest friends. and it's nice to be able to talk to them about that stuff.

and as for in real life stuff you can do to make friends, idk how old you are, but try to see if there are any local groups or events you can join in your area. see if there is a book group at your local library, see if there are any classes at a community center you can take. hell, even getting a job where some of the ppl in that place are the same age as you is good starting point as well. when you are in forced proximity with ppl, you tend to befriend others more often. that's why a lot of us were even able to have friends in school.

try to go into everything with an open mind. and genuinely remember that 99% of ppl are a, in the same boat as you (confused and don't know what to do next) and b, aren't trying to hurt your feelings. most ppl are nice. of course there are assholes, but try not to let ppl like that bring you down. and gentle reminder, you most likely are not as awkward as you feel. and i know that from personal experience lol

also, my biggest recommendation is working on yourself as well and learning to become your own best friend. i know that's very cliche and silly to say, but highkey one of the best choices i ever made was learning to cut myself some slack and start being nice to myself. if you can afford it, consider therapy. but i know that's not always an option for ppl (even myself). try to do some introspection on who you are, the obstacles you've gone thru and overcame, and do your best to be nice to yourself. i'm telling you, when you start to actually like yourself and give yourself a break, especially on the things you had no control over in the first place, life starts to feel a lot less harder to deal with.

even if your first step is to start reading self help books - do that. write out your feelings more, explore why you act the way you do and if that's something you want to change. set goals that are reasonable, put pride into yourself. treat yourself like you would someone you are friends with. think of yourself as someone worthy of love, bc you are.

but let it be known that this will not happen overnight. i wish it did, but it took me YEARS, i truly mean years, to finally start liking myself and having any resemblance of confidence. it will not happen in one go. you have to be consistent and constantly working on yourself. and i know that can be difficult. but in the long run it will do wonders for yourself.

i wish i had all the answers for you, and i wish i knew the best course for you to take. and i wish you all the luck in the world. i truly believe you will make friends and start a great path on your mental health journey. it won't be easy, and it will take a lot of time, but it's worth it bc you deserve that. you deserve happiness <3

[dreamerswriter]

On the Ninth Day of the New Year, A Good Experience in the End

And they solved their problem! I mean, it won't end well for those who want to play and think have a chance of winning, but it worked!

I love how prideful they are about this. They know what to do and how they should go about it. Let their opponents have fun and improve on their skills. Good plan honestly.

How many did you trick, Ruggie? But he is not wrong either!

We are making money and the customers are also happy! Win-win for everyone! Wow, Sam and I are thinking the same thing. Either way, we made a lot of money.

Ruggie, I am so concerned. I live in the USA if that obvious about the everything about me and this blog as well as how I write. But Ruggie, were you never paid by the hour.....? I worry about the jobs you took and the money you didn't get from it.

I agree with this. Any experiece is a good experience that can be useful for later on in life. Communicating and working with others is definitely it.

I feel like that is never taken too seriously. You should have fun with your jobs too or find some joy out of it as well. I hope Cater feels the same about this too since he does have his moments.

Vil is being the best as usual. He is definitely going to use this for his job. I can see it. He will probably use it for helping the other employees and also making sure the audience is having a wonderful experience. Vil is the best.

Oh, yeah! Resolutions! Does anyone have those? I've got a few. Nice to know Ruggie wants to make money and start his job hunting again. I do hope the jobs pay better...

Hey, sometimes a consistent resolution is also good too. As well as the passion that follows it too.

Ironically, I don't really wish for that with my blog. I just hope everyone has fun reading this and enjoying the event as I comments and lose my mind.

Vil's goal is always good to see and improve upon. Out of everyone, I really want Vil's goal to be achieved somehow.

I love how Ruggie starts shouting for it.

I am honestly happy that both won. They did work hard for this and tried their best too. They pulled it off as well.

Aw, even Sam thinks so. He's really nice too! That is not easy to do.

Yeah, it is also Night Raven College. We have competitions to see who is the best and all that.

And in the end, that is all that matters. It shows how they've learned from this and will use their new skills for future endeavors. Experience and the money they earned is well deserved and earned. I think the real star is Sam. He did such a good job watching over them and praised their efforts accordingly too. Not a bad event!

Happy New Year everyone! I hope you will gain wonderful experiences and earn wonderful awards as well!

[doverjazzghost]

it's the new year's post!!

I'm not putting this under a read more bc tumblr keeps changing the website and idk where the function even is anymore. 2023 was actually pretty good! I had some huge huge growth/good developments in a lot of areas of my life: - I started voice lessons in March and working on singing has been really rewarding. Experiencing music in a different way has been challenging and it's wild feeling like a beginner at something musical again. I even did a vocal audition and sang solo in front of other people, which was a huge anxiety step for me. -My other music stuff has been going really well! I had one of my arrangements played live and 3 of my other arrangements have been recorded and mixed into tracks (2 of which were mixed by me). I also performed with a Real Professional Orchestra as a vocalist which was wild. - I finally got medical help for my headaches. I just though multi-day headaches were normal? at least for me?? but I had a lot of friends push me to go to someone about it and I guess a really effective migraine medication was developed in 2019? It's taken away 90% of my headaches and a lot of brain fog and ambient pain and it's wild to me that everyone else's lives had been like this. -I have travelled (a little bit). I still have a bit of anxiety around travelling, but I managed to go to DC, Pennsylvania, and Massachusetts and I went to 3 conventions. - My anxiety has been a lot better around driving and being out in public. - I didn't get sick at all this year! Which seems like a small thing but after the year I had last year, I am VERY grateful for that. The goals from the 2023 post: -have a symphonic arrangement I've made be performed live Yes!! Also going to have another piece performed in May 2024 and probably December 2024 -actually do it, actually travel this time Yes. I didn't get on a plane, but I did car and train travel. Also booked a trip for me and the geef to Canada for April next year and that is Real Travel. -go back to working on my anxiety and agoraphobia Yes. It isn't really fully gone (bc I think it never will be) but I am in a much better place with that. I am buying groceries in person lol. -finish this Dnd campaign lol Yes! The campaign wrapped in November? Starting a new one early 2024 and I am actually writing this one for pray for me -be more proactive in reaching out to people Kind of? I can maybe only think of 2 or 3 examples of me inviting people to do things but at least that's more than 0 lol. -focus on craftsmanship in the things that I make Eeeehhh. I actually didn't make a ton of art things this year. I did 1 cosplay, some accessories, and a few crochet plushes. I am trying to research more and I think I'm more comfortable in taking apart and re-doing thing until they're right but I definitely think I can push it more.

The goals for 2024:

Still try to reach out to people more both talking and hanging out!

Use my phone less (especially watching less short form video lol). I have already been working on this but I want to commit harder.

Work out more consistently. The really good headache medicine gives me a little fatigue which has made working out harder.

Push myself to learn new techniques re: art, cosplay, music

Get a new job. Things Have Changed at my current job and I'm just not feeling it anymore. That is the post! Happy new bear!! ฅ՞•ﻌ•՞ฅ

[catchingbigfish]

april update

i know i already joked about aries season ratcheting up my productivity, but like, it's so real lol. i literally finished the second draft of conversion in the first 11 days this month and really knocked my word goal out of the park.

ID in alt text

it's true though, aries season really is a fruitful period for me every year -- i wrote the first draft of conversion this time last year, and other than about 10k words, rewrote it entirely during literal aries season this year.

i'm trying to be more fluid with my goals because i always love to talk mad shit about how i want to establish a consistent, sustainable writing practice, but i just genuinely write best in strong bursts like this. it says my daily average was 5,488 words, and i technically only wrote 10 days this month; i did a lot of editing in the week after finishing it and have been working on other WIPs, but not in the sense of getting words on the page. my lowest day was 1,398 words, and my highest day was 13,317 words.

obviously, i ate up quite a lot of my yearly word count goal this month; i'm now at 55% of my yearly goal. i did also finish my wip intro which i'm really excited about, and i clearly burst through my other goal -- have an updated zero draft and write 16,000-ish words -- so i'm really happy with how april went!

may goals

i have no idea what my plan for may is going to be! i'm thinking about a new WIP that i haven't quite defined yet, but i think it's the newest iteration of the criminal/cop WIP i've lightly mentioned before, and i'm excited by the ideas that are forming in my head. i have a very rough idea of exactly what i want to do with it, so i'm going to let that keep brewing and see where i go from here. i'm also excited to get more reading done (i talk more about the books i'm reading/my reading goals over at my main, @prettytothink-so) and have one book on deck that i think is going to be really helpful for my thinking about so it goes, so that might crop up, too!