#also i feel like the only reason i seem bad to some ppl is that i dont put up a front of being perfect online. and i also dont do much to
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jvzebel-x · 1 year ago
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#hmmmm.#so as a rule i say thank you when i go out. a lot. bc i was told once that saying thank you instead of im sorry#would make ppl feel less uncomfortable so i swapped the phrases out.#similarly i was told once that compliments make ppl happy&also if im specifically looking for Good Things#i will find them-- as opposed to letting my head do whatever it wants bc given the extremely violent intrusive+obsessive thoughts#directing it towards Good Things works out for everyone if ppl enjoy compliments.#im also like. extremely aware that these facts-- along w my fervent occasionally manic insistence on being Nice when interacting w ppl#(bc i thought we all were told as kids to treat others the way we wanted to be treated??? lmao.)#-- all add up to make me seem insincere at times or to some ppl. i. dont care. LMAO.#its too exhausting to care. like ppl find whatever they want to find&if ppl are so set on my being a certain way#so much so that my being a nice person can only be explained by nefarious intent (to acheive. what. kindness from others? lmao.)#how in the fuck can any of that be my fault or-- MUCH more importantly-- my problem???#however lately its like ppl have been getting like. Offended. by the impulses. which is becoming... boring. for me. lmao.#bc it isnt like i dont mean it when im extensively polite&complimentary-- i mean everything i say bc even when anxiously filling silence#i dont like wasting my time on like. lying for no reason lmao.#its more so that if it becomes a hinderance to be myself ill go the route that benefits me which is the one of least resistance#&i will ALSO mean it when i make someone cry w exactly the same amount of effort lmao#bc proving a point-- even if its proving someone elses point-- correct is extremely easy either way lmao.#its weird to me that ppl would think seeing good in something means that seeing bad in it isnt possible lmao#the same way its extremely confusing to me that ppl would think kindness&abject cruelty cant like. coexist lmao.#i feel accepting that on a micro level would help ppl accept it on a macro level.#either way i know it would save me some time in having to deal w ppl biting off more than they can chew#before realizing that i will rip chunks out of them&lick the tears up like a dog if they insist on tempting me like one LMAO.#at the very least it might help more ppl appreciate the fact that regardless of how vivid the fantasies#i have yet to hit anyone repeatedly w a baseball bat to relieve some stress.#... lmao.
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sheerioswifties · 2 years ago
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#so today i broke down and fully cried over realizing the reality that i probably won't be able to go see Taylor on this tour#and i felt so stupid for it like crying over not getting to see a concert seems so trivial and i mean so many reasons but like#and like i don't cry much anymore like I've been through and am in so much pain and horrible stuff constantly and so much stress and trauma#but I've built up strength to not cry over those things like if i did I'd just be crying nonstop so i channel my emotions into trying to#solve the problems and like still I'm so unbelievably stressed but like also as an empath i feel everything really deeply but usually lately#the things that make me cry are more like sweet animal rescue videos acts of kindness touching stories or really deeply inspirational or#relatable things in books etc but so like I'm like mad at myself for crying over this but#i checked the stubhub like prices for what tix are going for and it's fucking over 500 a pop for nosebleeds i just#it's infuriating the scalping and how many hard core fans are unable to go bc of that but rich ppl who aren't really fans i just. 1000 bucks#for 300 level is just no I'm sorry that's not ever gonna happen and i just#i really thought I'd just find tickets over time closer to the event like that's how I've done several concerts but then i looked and saw#that and I'm like oh my god and that's before fees and then there's the gas to get there the repairs that need to be done to the car to get#there all the other fees involved and in realizing oh my god like I've been overconfident and now i don't see a way and I'm so sad and i#just broke down its i know iy seems stupid but first this feels like something that might not happen again anytime soon if ever the way the#world is going out could be last chance and rep tour was the first time I'd been able to see Taylor to begin with and the experience was SO#amazing it's like the one thing i looked forward to this year that lifted me up in really dark times and again i feel shitty when there's so#many fans who never get to see her international too i just. I'm sorry I'm just like this breaks my heart on levels and like#i hate how money dictates everything i hate that i went to eds last tour tickets in the same venue were 30 DOLLARS and even the Taylor ones#i think were like 75 and now it's so high bc only scalping it's so fucked up and like I'm already in a really bad hole money wise bc of#an emergency issue that happened and I've got some scary medical things going on waiting on tests and having trouble with rent and food and#gas so like i can't even try to be like. you know? like justify trying to save up that much even when i got all this#i just.
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lttleghost · 2 years ago
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youre so real for your transfem jesse interp honestly speaking as a transmasc myself. sorry you have to fight tooth and nail every day against people showing up to "correct" your headcanon
sjdkkf thanks, I'm transmasc too but while I might not relate to every transfem interpretation of Jesse and the anslysis of the text I've done could support her realizing she's any identity that might be described as transfem, I admittedly relate to a no-med no-op and/or gnc transfem Jesse more than I do with his common transmasc interpretation THOUGH that definitely isn't why I fight tooth and nail for transfem Jesse in general
AND LIKE while there definitely are malicious people that have disdain for transfem people or some other gross bullshit that I've met I really don't think(hope) most people are like REALLY trying to dispute transfem Jesse but rather just... don't think of it as a possibility, though that is its own problem and I think for people who aren't purposefully being shitty it's a problem with like... perception and focusing on certain types of trans people or identities or presentations more than others even if unintentionally
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chemicalarospec · 5 months ago
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#i was busy IRL for an hour and half btw#i feel really bad for upsetting that person so much but that really helped me#i think subconciosuly i knew i needed that bc when i was writing the tags i felt like they were Off but i posted anyways#i just needed someone to actually talk with me (even angrily/accusingly) about this because i was so lost. the anon#helped but it didn't really and one back and forth with an anon isn't really talking. bc i consider less theirpotential response#now that i've realized how similar to asexuality this is i can see how intersex ppl who don't personally want to be included#and are saying not to included intersex ppl at all are very insidous#i think i could have only realized that through confrontation in a discussion.#or like. someone telling me i guess lol nobody's actually used that analogy that i've seen#and i thnk that also would have gottten through to me#the weird thing is like. i didn't even believe that intersex people should be EXCLUDED. i never have. i just didn't understand WHY#the 'some want to be left out so be careful' thing was WRONG i had an inkling it was wrong but wasn't sure. and got caught up in that#honestly i don't think i even said that much wrong the OP is just forever fighting on this so i put her into the mode#(honestly i am a little bothred she wasn't really responding to the things i said but i understand her situation)#which to be clear I did NOT mean to do at all.#but i guess i should have expected i would upset that perseon bc all intersex advocates seem really angry these days#probably bc of ppl like me... sorry#but gosh i just don't think it's evil to be misinformed and think you're properly informed and therefore don't go out searching more#it's almost out of your control. because someone else did the lying to you#all u did was believe them. and if u never believe anybody u can't live so u can only doubt ppl when u have reason#and if u know nothing u don't have reason to doubt....#hi it's the next day on second thought it was kind of wild i spent all afternoon yesterday groveling for#having believed intersex ppl when they told me what their community wants as someone who had never heard of intersex before#it's not my fault they lied
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nightcolorz · 13 days ago
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“Armand was lying to Louis about how Marius used to pimp him out to his friends bcus he wanted him to feel bad for him” is perhaps the stupidest and most insane take in the amc iwtv fandom. It’s stupid bcus ik that the ppl saying this r only saying it from a delusional place of “I really don’t want amc iwtv to portray Marius as a bad person so I’m hoping that every instance we have so far of Marius doing bad things isn’t actually canon” and the people who believe this don’t actually think about it in the context of the plot and what a lie like that would mean, bcus if they did they’d realize that it makes no sense and they r delusional.
The craziest part of it is the “Armand is lying about this specifically to try to make Louis feel bad for him” aspect, bcus that implies that armand is 1: willing to vilify Marius (the most important person in his life who he continues to love and admire and hold in deep regard) to gain favor in his relationship with Louis (hot guy he just met) and 2: That Armand somehow needs to make up more bad things that happened to him bcus apparently being enslaved and raped as a child wasn’t enough and he had to throw in a random detail about his makers friends cuz otherwise Louis wouldn’t sympathize with him enough.
Yep that makes sense. Not even to mention how Armand explicitly softens the way he words the fact that Marius pimped him out in a way that makes Marius *look better* bcus he loves him and clearly based on performance context and actual dialogue isn’t looking to make Marius out to be a bad guy when talking about him to Louis. That is definitely the tone in which someone lying about being abused for attention would talk about their abuser! Also, the insinuation that Marius would not do this so it must be a manipulation of the truth is hilarious, bcus Marius sending Armand to have sex with house guests seems to me like a very clear adaption of his actions in the books where he sends Armand to go have sex with ppl at brothels to try to “flesh out his worldly experiences” or whatever. In an adaption where Armand is more explicitly and functionally Marius’s slave (and also a poc with less social privileges) it makes sense that marius making Armand have sex with other people for his warped reasons would translate to house guests instead of prostitutes. Marius does arguably so many more worse things in the books then tell Armand to have sex with his house guests so I don’t see how this is the line that can’t be crossed for some people. I don’t mind if anyone rlly likes Marius or stans him but nothing bothers me more then seeing huge mischaracterizations of my boy Armand so like in conclusion shut up.
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thecutepoison · 8 months ago
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This is very speculative, but I'm suspecting Kipperlily is using the Ethereal Plane to spy on the Bad Kids and if I'm right I might have figured how she got found out by the rogue teacher!
First, let me explain my paranoid thoughts about the spying. Since ep 3, we are aware that Kipperlily is hearing their conversations, even if we don't know for sure the extent of it. She, just like Riz, must have a crazy stealth modifier + reliable talent, however I don't think she's relying only on that.
So, there's a scene in ep 4 when the Bad Kids roll for perception to spot Kipperlily. Kristen casts See Invisibility and Fabian rolls a nat 20. Brennan describes, only to Fabian, that although he doesn't see Kipperlily, he feels the "twinge of some kind of sense". Very creepy. That implies that she's there but cannot be seen. She could be invisible, however I don't think that's the case because an invisible person could still be perceived through hearing or touch. Also, Kristen would have been able to see her because of the spell.
With that in mind, the paranoid goblin that lives inside my brain is convinced that she's using the Ethereal Plane to spy on the Bad Kids. The Border Ethereal is perfect for infiltration and spywork, since you pass through physical objects and watch everything in the material plane without ppl there perceiving you. There are a couple of ways to access the Ethereal Plane, with spells or items, but I have no ideia abt the specific method she might be using.
Her being in the ethereal plane explains why Fabian, with his nat 20, didn't notice any physical indicatives of Kipperlily but still felt a presence, like some sixth sense. Now, Adaine did use her Third Eye so she could see into the Ethereal Plane within 60 feet and still saw nothing. But that doesn't mean that Kipperlily isn't there since there's a very easy way to circumvent Adaine: Non detection. This is a third level spell that hides the target from divination magic - for 8 hours they "can’t be targeted by any divination magic or perceived through magical scrying sensors". The Rat Grinders, long time haters of the Bad Kids, are for sure aware that Adaine is a divination wizard, they would be fools to spy on the party without casting Non Detection first. She's the motherfucking elven oracle!
Okay, now about the rogue teacher. In ep 3, Siobhan theorizes the rogue professor is the ghost teacher. I think she's absolutely right! We know most teachers of Aguefort and even if the ghost one was among those we havent seen, the Bad Kids would probably have heard about them if they were teaching something like ranger class. It's plausible that the reason for the party having no ideia who they are and not even passing by them in the halls is that the ghost is the rogue professor. After all, no one knows who the hell they are, it's the whole point of their teaching method. And for a ghost it would be really easy to go undetected since they can travel through the Ethereal Plane, beside the insane stealth.
Indulge my conspiracy theories for a minute. Rogue professor = Ghost Teacher and Kipperlily can wander in the Ethereal Plane, the plane of ghosts. Even with the advantage of being on the same plane as the teacher, it would still be a nightmare to find them since they are a pro rogue. In fact, Kipperlily didn't achive that: the rogue teacher found her.
But how did she manage to have the professor find her? I'm sure it wasn't an accident, she's too calculating for that. So, I started thinking about what would I do in her place and came up with the stupidest ideia. It's utterly ridiculous. But it could totally work and the strategy seems kinda Kipperlily's style.
Remember the Ghost Steak? The one Fig tried to eat when she invaded the teacher's lounge in season one? It's the ghost teacher's lunch, and Brennan reestablished its existence in ep 3 when Adaine used Ethereal Sight, explaining that the school wards are porous enough to allow ethereal travel and other stuff.
So if I was Kipperlily, my dumbass plan would go as follows: invade the teacher's lounge through the ethereal plane and hide inside the fridge. It wouldn't be a problem for me since I'm intangible and can pass through stuff, plus the other professors wouldn't see me even if they opened the fridge. Inside, I wait as long as needed, until the Rogue/Ghost Teacher gets hungry. They finally open the fridge to grab their snack, only to find me looking at them from inside the fridge like a lunatic. Mission complete: got found by the rogue teacher and aced junior year!
It's so mundane and stupid and that makes me more convinced that's exactly what happened. It's too funny to not be true.
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zoolitsky-fandom · 6 months ago
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MORE HEADCANONS BECAUSE I’M ALL POWERFUL
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Please don’t get upset if you disagree with any of these!! This is just how I see the characters ^^ More context about the headcanons under the cut!
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Nami
Transfem lesbian!!
Basically married to Vivi (who isn’t pictured but she gives me demigirl bisexual energy with a preference to girls)
CHUBBY BECAUSE I SAY SO!!!!! 🧡🧡🧡
And she’s still beautiful and wonderful and Sanji still simps for her. Chubby people are gorgeous
She’s technically pale but tanned a bit from being outside so much
Aaand bandaid because she’s literally just a normal girl and is susceptible to minor injuries unlike the other weird built different ppl on the crew (aside from Usopp)
sPEAKING OF USOPP!!! She’s absolute besties with him like they talk about everything and anything and gossip and all that jazz. They’re so special to me.
I’m not sure if bipolar fits entirely, but there’s definitely something with her mood swings and the intensity of her emotions. If this is insensitive at all please inform me
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Chopper
Agender aroace reindeer fella??? SiGN ME UP
Both male and female reindeers have antlers so I used that to my advantage because gender silly
I think Chopper uses they/he/it, but slightly prefers to be referred to by their name rather than pronouns
Chopper has attachment issues, but I couldn’t find anything other than avoidant attachment disorder (which doesn’t seem entirely fitting). But it definitely gets very attached to others when it trusts them and has a hard time moving on.
Also I just like to draw Chopper more reindeer-like than Chopper’s canon design but aside from that I don’t really make too many design changes? Just… floofy Chopper… 🩷🩷🩷
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Usopp
Panromantic asexual!!
Down bad for Sanji (he has terrible taste /j)
I had a revelation after drawing this so Usopp isn’t actually cis lol- they’re a demiboy but in a genderfluid kind of way, some days he feels more masculine and other days they feel more androgynous
I have very mixed feelings about the hair highlights,, I lowkey might not keep them but it was an experiment
FRECKLES!!! USOPP HAS FRECKLES PASS IT ON PASS IT ON!!!! 💛💛💛 Bandaid like Nami because!! They’re literally just a normal teenager!!!
Usopp has anxiety and borderline personality disorder because the feelings of superiority and inferiority? The constant fear? Being immune to Perona’s ghosts from dealing with mental illness their entire life???
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Luffy
Asexual grayromantic
If he had a partner it would be gay regardless of his own gender expression (I’m projecting because I feel gay when I’m attracted to anyone)
Genderfluid, some days they prefer different pronouns but most of the time they use all at once (also is this ironic bc Luffy can’t swim but is swimming in fluid pronouns)
King of the pronouns!!! King of the genders!!! Will steal your pronouns and gender!!! Watch out!!!
I gave her vitiligo on a whim to be 100% honest, but I feel like it’s very fitting and also very fun to draw ❤️❤️❤️
I only did a headshot here because I have another post with a bunch of other drawings of this Luffy
I feel like I don’t need to explain but Luffy is very very AuDHD to me
He has so much energy and is easily distracted and gets really focused on things and likes to talk about anything and everything
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Sanji
Bisexual-est guy on the planet (loves all boobs /hj)
Down bad for Usopp (they have great taste)
Demiboy but in an interchangeable kinda bigender way, he’s just both enby and male at the same time
Darker roots!! Sanji’s body hair is always notably darker than his blonde hair so I decided on darker roots
CURLY/WAVY FLUFFY HAIR SANJI SUPREMACY 💙💙💙
Depression—WHICH THEY ALL OBVIOUSLY HAVE BUT
Depression in the sense it’s the reason he smokes. It’s a kind of coping mechanism.
It makes them dazed enough that they don’t have to fully feel their own despair
GIVE HIM HEALTH PROBLEMS ODA YOU COWARD. I KNOW HE’S UNREASONABLY BUILT DIFFERENT BUT LIKE
Imagine Sanji wheezing and struggling to breathe after a fight!! Emotional scene with Chopper trying to convince them to stop smoking!!
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Robin
Pansexual
Married to Franky 💜💜💜
Intersex demigirl! Like- the whole being called a monster/demon her whole life and trying to find someone who accepts her is such a good (unintentional) metaphor for the gender discovery experience,,
GIVE ROBIN THEIR MELANIN BACK!!! I don’t care if it wasn’t their original colors… neither were the blue eyes but I’m giving both to them because they deserve it!!
I wanted to give Robin more of a curly hair texture but I was concerned it would start to not really resemble her. I might play around with it another time though and see if I can achieve something still recognizable
PTSD
Do I even have to explain that-
They are traumatized and get flashbacks and night terrors
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Franky
Bisexual
Married to Robin 🩵🩵🩵
TRANSMASC. I AM THE BIGGEST BELIEVER OF TRANS FRANKY.
He was abandoned by his birth parents, he has a name he doesn’t use anymore, calls everyone bro regardless of gender, HE LITERALLY REBUILT HIS ENTIRE BODY-
Even though Franky’s a cyborg I gave him visible top surgery scars. I think he would show them off with pride and doesn’t necessarily need/want to be seen as a cis man. He’s just a man who once had boobs yk?
The underside of his hair is an even brighter blue because silly!!
ADHD—he hyperfixates like a madman and is also very loud and passionate. Also idk if this is an actual ADHD thing but like he’s super empathetic and cries easily? I’m like that too so idk lol
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Zoro
Demihomoromantic asexual
Hopelessly, dare I say pathetically, in love with Luffy. I want to clarify that this doesn’t make Zoro less gay and this doesn’t make Luffy less genderfluid.
Also as much as I adore trans Zoro, I think the fact that he’s a cisgender feminist is important. So I headcanon him as cis.
FLUFFY HAIR ZORO FLUFFY HAIR ZORO FLUFFY HAIR ZORO 💚💚💚
I can’t decide whether or not I like the striped hair,, I’m still on the fence about it lol
Covered in scars because he’s done so much training and fighting, I know they kind of look like something else but they aren’t, don’t worry
Idk why but I always give him a dark green undershirt
Autistic!! He has a narrow range of emotions, makes nonverbal grunts, super into swords, he’s blunt, follows routine, etc.
Aaaand that’s all of them! Phew! Thank you so much for reading 💖
Reblogs, asks, and comments are super appreciated!!
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hazbinhotelxreader · 8 months ago
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A/n: I writers block bad. Like- i need to do requests but can't- also, no pictures cause its too many ppl. (i listened to we don't talk about Bruno while writing this)
Info: reader is gender neutral
Fighting headcannons with (some) the Hazbin girls!
Characters: Carmilla Carmine/Velvette/Charlie/Vaggie
Genre: angst/slight fluff
Carmilla Carmine: She isn't one to fight, she's not someone to lose her composer over something little or not worth fighting for. But, she will argue if it's about something really important that you guys can't agree on. For example, if she wants to keep the dead exorcist thing a secret and you don't. Then there would be a lot of arguing and fighting that night, or even in the morning the following day if it' really bad. She'll also fight about wanting to keep you or her daughters safe if something dangerous is happening and you’re not hearing her out. She doesn't want to hurt you, she wants to just keep you and her girls safe.
Velvette: You two usually have small squabbles or fights, not full on yelling and screaming fights. But when you do have a big fight like that. It usually lasts from as short as five minutes or as long as a few days. Of course, it doesn’t mean you fight every single minute of the day, it just means you two will be salty and bitchy towards each other and break out into random fight on those days. There has been many times you two have broke up, had hate sex, and got back together.
Charlie: Fights are extremely rare. She’s not one to yell or raise her voice. She would rather handle everything calmly and politely. I’d say the only times she’ll raise her voice or yell at you is when she’s REALLY stressed- like maybe after Heaven doesn’t listen. Adam just straight up disrespects her, or when her mother won’t show up. Then she’ll yell and raise her voice. It won’t be specifically towards you, like the problem isn’t caused by you, but she’ll get madder if you yell back, or she’ll get sad and give you space, it really depends on what you’re fighting about. She’ll also raise her voice at you if you put yourself in to much danger. But she’ll quickly turn soft and hug you. She always feels really bad after you two fight, even if it isn’t always her fault only. Expect a lot of apology gifts (and a song if you’re lucky).
Vaggie: She tries her best not to fight. She doesn’t like to, but she gets so stressed, overwhelmed, and mad and can’t help it. Let’s be honest, she seems like she has anger issues and a low self esteem. So she gets irritated often. She wouldn’t start a fight for no reason of course, she will have light arguments with you more often rather than big fights, and the arguments aren’t that harsh either. I feel like she’d only get into a large fight if you were to reckless, she’s just scared of losing you. She’d feel so bad after though, she’ll apologize and say everything she did wrong, then you’ll cuddle for the rest of the night.
A/n: I’m not sure if these are OOC…cause I haven’t been on here for a while and forgot how the characters act a little 😭😭. Anyways I’m trying to post again!
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ourflagmeansgayrights · 8 days ago
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hi i cant reblog this post but the results are bothering me so im gonna go through everybody listed here one by one in order of who's leading in this poll:
CALICO JACK: the entire reason im making this post and the entire reason i even thought abt this poll longer than 2 seconds is bc i immediately wrote him off for several reasons and then saw that he was WINNING and i need to set the record straight. first of all, calico jack does not have cybertruck money. those things are going for like $100k right now, cj has $30 in his savings and he does not have the credit score necessary to get himself a goddamned cybertruck. second of all the car calico jack owns is like a ford something or other and it's one million years old and does not pass inspection but it DOES have a pair of truck nuts dangling off the back. you know that video with the red truck speeding through an open field with cinder blocks on it?? that’s jack’s truck
A BADMINTON: i could see it, and i know this is insane bc OP said they're interchangeable and the ARE but i could see it with nigel specifically. my first thought was that ppl who own cybertrucks aren't usually RICH rich like that, but also there's a certain type of arrogant morons who like to showboat their wealth but also are dumb and have bad taste and i think nigel is that type of guy. im thinking abt him going out of his way to hang out with stede just to bully him and make fun of his ship and i think nigel would think owning a cybertruck is some sort of flex. chauncey is less interested in tormenting stede for the hell of it and more into just straight-up trying to kill stede by any means necessary and something abt the single-minded goal of it makes me think chauncey's a bit more pragmatic and less into the showboating compared to his brother (yeah there are like Reasons why nigel might seem a bit more lighthearted than chauncey, only one of them is trying to avenge his brother when we meet him, but also who cares it's the fucking badmintons lol). the car(s) chauncey owns isn't flashy but it is pricey.
PRINCE RICKY: this man is like distant british royalty, i dont think he even learned how to drive until he decided he wanted to follow stede's path and run away to become a modern au equivalent of a pirate. after learning to drive with a private tutor he went out and bought a used audi that was one year old and had less than 5k miles on it and that was him "roughing it"
IZZY: so i voted for him bc i think the aesthetics PERFECTLY fit him but after thinking abt it i would probably change my vote to a badminton. izzy sees cars as a necessary tool to take him where he needs to go and his only requirement is that the color of his car is black. he only buys a new car when the one he has is so old that it's worth more to fix than to replace, and so the only situation where izzy would buy a cybertruck is if he happened to be due for a new car at the same time that the cybertruck was coming out. i think in that scenario the aesthetic kinship he would feel for the truck would be enough to make him buy one even though it's more than he usually spends on cars and it's not his usual sedan. and then he would get in the car and drive it two miles and the software would fail and the car would completely die
STEDE: would not buy a cybertruck simply bc they are ugly. he has better taste than that
ED: same as above but also he's way too smart for that. come on.
FRENCHIE: guys, frenchie's the one RUNNING the scams, not falling for them
SPANISH JACKIE: why is she even on this list. of all the polls to include jackie on, why is this the one. no she doesn't own a fucking cybertruck, come on
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iz-star · 4 months ago
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Snowy Serenity Zayne is Dr Zayne, not Dawnbreaker.
So I've finally read the "No morning" anecdote, I hadn't been able to read it before because my phone glitched in the last cutescene of the last chapter, which made me unable to finish it and unlock the new World Underneath Anecdotes and that's why I wasn't able to offer my two cents about this topic before but now that I have all the info, my conclusion is: No, Snowy Serenity Zayne is NOT DB. Here's why:
For those who don't know, it seems there was this theory that Dawnbreaker somehow took over Dr Zayne during what happens in Snowy Serenity. This theory was brought up first in CN servers and later on was mentioned over twitter.
I admit that the first time I read about this theory of Snowy Serenity Zayne being Dawnbreaker, something didn't sit right with me, it felt as if we were shamelessly disregarding Dr Zayne's feelings he's been struggling with for so long. To read some people saying that "Dr Zayne hasn't changed" was kinda cruel, but I hadn't read the new anecdote so I didn't know where ppl was getting this theory from and if it made sense.
It seems the most obvious thing that made people think of this theory was the black ice that grew in Zayne's flowers (which are not Jasmine, but a flower called "Velvet Snow"):
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And as a Zayne stan, I feel like It's my duty to remind you that black ice is not an exclusive thing of Dawnbreaker. It might be easy to see black ice and think of him because he uses black ice in his attacks when we have him as companion during battle and his anecdotes state that his ice is black. It also matches his whole aesthetic. However, he's not been the only case where black ice has been mentioned.
Black ice is mentioned in Foreseer's Myth too, whenever Astra punished Zayne:
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I think some ppl often forget how ridiculously invasive was Astra's control over Zayne. He would punish Zayne if he ever thought of leaving the Tower. Heck, he even used to force Zayne to move his body against his will to inflict injures to himself.
Snowy Serenity Dr Zayne accidentally injuring MC and later on being so scared to lose control of his evol to the point of not even offering to tend her wounds reminded me more of Foreseer than DB, tbh.
Of course, this doesn't mean that Snowy Serenity Zayne is Foreseer neither, but given the info of the new anecdote, it could be related somehow. In Snowy Serenity, Dr Zayne finally bares his heart to MC and allows himself to fully feel and express his desires. He's the most sincere he's ever been, not only to MC but probably to himself too. This is the closest he's allowed himself to be to her. So, black ice growing on his flowers might as well be a showcase of Astra's curse, a signal of how bad things are going to be for him and MC from now on. After all, Dawnbreaker lives in a world where MC doesn't exist, so his black evol could also be a showcase of Astra's cuse finally fulfilled.
Of course, these are theories too, but black ice not being only a DB thing is a fact. To see black ice mentioned in the new anecdote and immediately jump to the conclusion that it was DB the one who kissed MC in SS is a bit of a stretch. However, I will give you this: I do think that the new anecdote references DB.
Another "proof" I saw about this whole theory was the name of the anecdote "No morning" that seems to be related to Zayne's title "Dawnbreaker". I think this is true and I'll even bargain with this, saying that the background they used for this anecdote is a crop of the one they used for DB anecdote's as well:
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Again, does this means that DB was the one who kissed MC? No.
The reference to DB becomes clear at the end of the anecdote, when Greyson asks Zayne if patients see them as "Guardian Angels or Grim Reapers"
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Of course, when Greyson mentions "Grim Reaper" Zayne can't help but look at the flowers and the black ice around them because to him, Dawnbreaker is the Grim Reaper.
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One of the reasons that made me think that maybe there was a possibility that DB was present during SS before I read the anecdote, was that during his medical mission on Mt Eternal where Zayne had to kill William, he dreamed of DB a lot. Mt Eternal also seems to be a connection with his other selves: The Tower or Thorns and The God of the Mountain seem to be related to Mt Eternal. (Again, these are only theories so don't rely on them too much).
However, after reading the anecdote I just confirmed that there was no reason to believe it. I do think that they reference DB, but not the way this theory wants to make it to be. Dr Zayne is scared of becoming DB, we don't know at what extend Dr Zayne knows DB, but as far as we are aware, his impression of him is not good. The black ice seems like a bad omen of his cursed fate, of what's next to come for him. We know that DB lives in a future semi apocalyptic world from the main story, where we just know that things got fucked up at some point and we haven't reached that point in the story yet. We also know that Dr Zayne knows that things will be bad, probably bc he still retains some of his powers as Foreseer or Master of Fate so he can glimpse the future.
In Dawnbreaker's anecdotes, it is clear that humans can become Wanderers, in Dr Zayne's timeline, this information is not as clear yet. He saw William turning into a Wanderer and his medical research about using Protocores in the human heart showed a human heart covered in black crystals. Dr Zayne is involved in all of this probably to understand it and to stop it from happening. If you notice, the whole anecdote also reveals some info about ppl with Protocore Syndrome and also, that they use something called "Cryozina" to control the Metaflux that invades the human body from affecting the heart:
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There's something important here:
-Protocores are obtained from Wanderers.
-In Dawnbreaker's anecdotes, humans can turn into Wanderers after exposing themselves to big quantities of Protocore Energy.
-Metaflux is basically Protocore energy.
I'm mentioning this because I think the truly purpose of this anecdote is to give us hints of how the apocalyptic world of Dawnbreaker came to be, what were the events that leaded us to it. Greyson has a crush on a hunter and she says that it was cool when she was revived. Let's not forget that Carter pestered Zayne about using Protocores in the human heart to defy death and let's not forget that MC is a rare case of immortality, so don't forget that these topics aren't brought up randomly. They have a purpose and they will make sense once more pieces of the puzzle are revealed.
Of course, if you've read this and you're still not convinced that it was Dr Zayne the one who kissed MC instead of Dawnbreaker, that's up to you. We all have an opinion and is as respectable as anyone's. However, I'd like to kindly ask that if you choose to believe it was DB, always make sure to clarify that this is just a theory and not a matter-of-fact thing.
Personally, it wasn't strange to me to see Dr Zayne's vulnerability in Snowy Serenity, he's shown vulnerability in other cards (Fragmented Dreams, Starry Nocturne, to name a few). The only difference here is that he exposes his feelings, his desires and fragility to a whole new level, which is totally understable considering the circumstances he's in. He exposed to a dangerous situation the person he wants to protect the most, he's been trapped in that Mountain for 4 days, not knowing if he would see her again. Even since his travel started, he seemed unsure about if he was going to return. Heck, I even think that the fact he asked MC to drop his car at the car wash was only a excuse to leave her his car in case he didn't come back.
He'd been opening up to her little by little and has worked hard to show his feelings more through the pass of time. He went from "I got used to being alone" (Bussiness Trip) to "Recently, a certain someone ocuppies my mind. Whether I'm walking, eating or sleeping, I keep picturing myself with her" (Heartstring healer) to "I need you, I have never denied that" (Snowy Serenity) If you notice, all those cards are cards where he and MC have to stay away bc of work related situations and their need for each other shows. The development of how things changed in their relationship is there. Dr Zayne needs MC just as much as DB and he's able to show it on his own. Please, don't disregard his efforts. Dr Zayne is just as precious as Dawnbreaker, Foreseer and Master of Fate.
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olderthannetfic · 2 months ago
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Re: discourse about using outliers / the worst examples of a group to justify generalizations-- this is also a problem with the femslash wank asks
I'm one of those filthy f/f folks who actually does want to see more femslash relative to mascslash, but I'm not anti-fujo or a terf or telling ppl to change their own tastes. I'm proship / SALS and kinkmato and I think fujoshi are great; I appreciate their massive contribution to fandom culture including AO3's existence itself
But some ppl seem like they just hate f/f fandoms generally and want a reason to bitch about us? and I've felt super demoralized by it whenever I read your blog lately
Like the complaints about f/f being too wholesome and fluffy and that this is somehow bad?? tumblr is C O V E R E D with cutesey fluffy bubbly m/m art using That Artstyle we all know and nobody complains about it. But when sapphic art is like this suddenly its cause we're boring sexless puritans who dont know what pussy should look like? The huge amount of kinky weird depraved f/f thats out there gets totally erased and the wholesome stuff gets scapegoated as a symbol of regressiveness.
Or the constant lecturing to "JuSt CrEaTe It YoUrSeLf" as if nobody who says they want more f/f would actually be making it??? How do you KNOW they're not making it? Are you stalking the tumblr of every ao3 f/f author to make sure they never expressed the opinion you hate , and vice versa??
Yeah a few awful ppl have been super obnoxious, terfy, or puritanical bullies with how they talk about this topic. But when you constantly bring those people up to demonize talking about it at all it feels like you're creating a taboo around it because you want those annoying lesbian feminists to shut the fuck up. Cause how dare we, right? How dare we express desire for something in a way that reminds you patriarchy exists.
You won't even let us express that we're bitter or sad about feeling like a minority even amongst other queer women. You won't let us express simple jealousy without interpreting that jealousy in the most terfy antiship bad faith way possible!
I won't defend those who actually harass ppl or moralize over ships. I won't defend anti-fujos. But when you constantly lump me in with those people just because I looked at AO3 stats and went "Hmmm, it would be cool if this was more balanced :/" or whatever it feels like you just don't want me to say anything at all
--
Is this about me personally? Yes, I agree that topics that are repetitive start to feel like an attack.
But with regards to AO3 stats, this is my pet peeve, as you probably know if you read here often, and I'm unlikely to stop being angry about it.
AO3 is extremely unusual in the history of fandom for being a very big, very multifandom site that is not m/m-specific but where m/m outnumbers other things. There have been large-ish slash archives before. There have been and still are other large, multifandom archives, from FFN and Wattpad, which are in AO3's weight class, to medium size ones like MediaMiner. The spaces that aren't m/m-specific generally have f/m vastly outnumbering m/m. They also make it harder to get stats than AO3 does.
I don't have an issue with people looking at overall fandom stats and complaining that f/f has the short end of the stick when it comes to fanfic broadly. I do object to people pulling only AO3 stats and going "The one anomalous clubhouse that looks like this is the problem" and pointing at m/m.
It's the same problem you point out, just in another direction. After being told "Okay, but the amount of m/m..." constantly for years, people are fed up and never want to hear it again. Even if it's phrased nicely. Even if the person saying it is also hurting.
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hijackalx · 1 year ago
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GORTASH NSFW ALPHABET
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A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)
hmm honestly feel like it depends on if hes feeling u or not. if he was just trying to catch a nut hes rude af. like before he leaves he'll throw a wet rag at u. and he used cold water to get it wet 🥲 BUTTTT if he really does like u i think he'll prolly run a bath for u both or something. i can see him washing ur hair/body for u 🥺
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)
his chest duhhh lol thats why he walks around with his titties out. i think hes got a really good upper body in general. like shoulders/arms/chest. and i feel like hes an ass man. yes that means all booties ALL. he likes to spank, bite, and leave marks all over it. omggg the type to smack or pinch ur ass in public LMAO
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
yall already know im a firm believer that this man cums bucketfuls. he'll have u sitting there like "damn why is it still going" LMFAO almost exclusively wants to cum inside. to the point to where its hard to convince him not to. he wants to breed u sooo bad 😭😭
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
*NONCON MENTION* it gets him concerningly hard when u tell him no but let him do it anyway. like i dont think he would ever AGGRESSIVELY force u to do anything hence the "let him", but something about being able to change ur mind/overpower u does something to him *NONCON MENTION OVER*
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)
well. i think hes an expert when it comes to pleasing himself (which is typically thru penetration, so for my AFABs if yall can finish vaginally just know he do be laying pipe 🤤) but he didnt really grow up caring about his sexual partners much lol. i do think he wants to please you though, like badly. thats the only reason hes willing to let u offer some guidance when it comes to giving oral/fingering u.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
mating press yall. like when he hooks ur legs over his shoulders and basically folds u like a lawn chair lol. also likes doggy though so he can pull ur hair and leave welts on ur ass lol.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
hes wayyyy too intense to be goofy at any moment while u guys are fuckin LMAO. like this man loves sex and gives his ALL. he puts his mf game face on and locks IN baby 😹😹
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
YESSSSSS !!!!! YES !!!!! this man is SO hairy EVERYWHERE !!!! the same texture as the hair on his head. im about to faint yall catch me
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
uhh. i can see him being kind of romantic on special occasions. but like i said hes pretty intense usually and to me that doesnt leave much room for romance lol. especially since he can be so mean too
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
yeah. like all the time. hes a hornball so if ur not around as an alternative he WILL be jizzing into his hand. omfg if yall are like, ever distanced from each other he will want to send nasty ass letters back and forth to keep him satisfied until u get back LMAO god forbid they ever end up at the wrong place
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
his office. will fuck on every surface and up against every wall. everyone else is afraid to touch anything in there 😭
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
he likes when u seem weaker than him, either in the sense that he has a physical or mental advantage over u. dont let anyone else treat u like that tho or he'll think ur a pussy lol
N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn offs)
^^ as i mentioned letting other ppl have the same power over u as he does is a turn off. so if ur like me u got to grow a backbone or get the boot 🥾🤾‍♀️ 😭😭  anyway. i dont think he'll be willing to do anything that makes him feel "lesser" or more submissive. i mean u could probably trick him into doing it if u make him think its his idea or something LMAO
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
i genuinely think he eventually gains an affinity for giving ??? he likes the sounds u make and the way u pull his hair. so yeah, gives lots of kisses and will mutter a lot of praises while down there too. dont get me wrong though u better be giving back too 😹😹
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
rough as fuckkkk bro. doesnt ever like to be gentle. sex just brings out a lot of aggression in him. u will be sore and bruised after. if u convince him to chill out he'll be a pouty baby about it
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
anywhere and everywhere possible. i dont think its a goal of his to be seen by others while doing it but i also dont think he cares so that doesnt really stop him
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
he'll try to get u to do all kinds of fucked up shit. including shit that is probably lowkey dangerous 😹😹 hes pretty sadistic so get ready gurl
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
15-20 mins max shawty lmao sorry 😹😹 and since he wants to act like a wild ape ur prolly not getting a round 2 since he wore himself out. but if u didnt get off in time he'll use his hand to help u finish even if hes sleepy 😴
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
will tease u at random times throughout the day by saying some absolutely horrendous shit in ur ear while ur in public and then acting like nothing happened. but usually doesnt want to waste much time before the act, so he might tease just enough to get u ready. nothing more though
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
heavy grunter and breather. will only moan occasionally if its really hitting right 😹😹 if u do get him to moan i can see it being decently loud. its like a reward
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
very high libido man........ prepare ur hole 🪦
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
sometimes he can stay awake long enough for aftercare but other times itll have to come after a power nap 😭 youll be like "bae how was it" and turn around to see him completely unconscious. snoring and everythang
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sueheesblog · 5 months ago
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Let's talk about some stuff! SZN 3: SPOILERS I watched the season after I saw some spoilers on X and from friends lmao. I didn't sleep. Sorry for the typos n shit. I need to vent.
- First off, Syd and Cousin carried the whole fxcking SZN on their backs, while Carmy was too busy being a psycho. Ayo n Ebon deserves all the awards. JAW is a fantastic actor - 10/10 for all 3 of them. Everyone else did great too, Napkin was 😭😭😭 AYO DID THAT. Those 3 are legends in my eyes!!!! If Ayo leaves or if the writers do her dirtier in SZN 4 I'm DONE. I cried for her this SZN, n for Carm too.
- All of Sydcamry scenes for some reason gave me butterflies even though they drifted farther apart each eps. Syd getting Carmy's dish was top tier - incredible writing from the writers. I just need them to explain more - what is the purpose of having Syd n Carmy tied together - if Claire is so great why not tied her to Carmy? Why does she seem like someone who died, haunting Carmy like his toxic boss? She more unbearable this season n I think it's intentional.
- Some ppl were saying Claire had alittle more substance this SZN and I beg to differ. She's like a dead gf to me. Her scenes with Carmy are so cold, dead, and heavy - like a burden. She triggers my anxiety n I don't know y - n I don't want to be mean, but just how their scene are edited, it literally puts me at the edge of a panic attack. The writers had the audacity to call her PEACE. I did not experience peace watching her scene and I think Carmy feels the same way from the jump. So, Fxck no, she ain't PEACE, that's Syd and it's obvious.
- Claire being labeled as PEACE makes no sense - the writers are trying too hard n it's make me sick. If she's so great, let her n Carmy run/manage The Bear.
- Syd is the invisible string that's holding everyone together in this chaotic sh!thole, while babysitting Carmy and keeping him from combusting. Unc, Nat, Pete, COUSIN, Marcus, and everyone else are staying afloat because Syd is the fxcking life vest that's strapped to their chest.
- Syd is calm, organized, observant, caring, considerate etc. Yet, these fxcking writers said Claire was peace- that line had my blood boilingggggggg.
- Syd's relationship with her Dad is everything
- Sydcarmy is sooo far apart it physically hurts. They didn't even do ther sign thing over their chest this season.......I get this feeling (just a FEELING) that Syd might be in love or has a crush on CARMY 😭😭😭. The margin wider scene gave me that vibe. When you like someone, you notice every little thing they do. There were times I wanted her to hug him soooo bad, I just felt like if she did if would've grounded him. He really needed a hug this season.
- Something I think some of you might have missed. Remember SZN1 Ep1 when Syd said her dad ate at The Beef on Sundays. We got confirmation from Carm, in SZN 3 that The Beef/The Bear only closes on Sundays. 😂😂🤣😂 (this was in the scene with him n Claire in a dark room or whatever. It might have been a dream scene idk) So, Carm knew Syd lied. I need the writers to have Carm n Syd talk about it and the meal she had in NYC. These are only a few important stuff they hid in the storytelling and I need to know WHYYYYYYYY.
- Carmy had a panic attack during service. Syd's voice took him off the edge. And I must say, her voice could really calm me down too lmao.
These fxcking writers are lowkey abusing Syd at this point. She's being stretched thin, and again this is also why I think she's in love with Carmy. It hurts her, but she's so into him, connected to him physically n mentally. It's really hard for her to let him or The Bear. It reminds me of the time Donna said "I make things pretty for others, but no one makes things pretty for me" not being verbatim lol. Syd did sooo much heavy lifting this SZN and no one noticed it, they all subconsciously over look her and gave all praises to Claire and making her the peace and angel.
- We finally saw Syd broke tf down in ep 10. Baby girl couldn't be strong anymore. She doesn't want to leave Carmy or The Bear but after the round table talk with the workers from Ever. She realized that Carmy - the person she idolize or even love/crush on, might not be good for her. Carmy is trying but the communication is lacking so bad, and on top of that he's pushing her away.
At this point, the partnership agreement seems like a trap to keep her. If Unc cut his connection to The Bear that's going to be Syd last straw. And if she leaves, I kinda see Tina, Marcus, and maybe COUSIN going with her or they will stay and give Carmy HELLL for losing her. The tables would turn. Everyone is so hang up on Claire leaving, if Syd leaves, Claire would go straight through the window. That would be the moment of realization (for all of them. Especially Carmy) that the woman he really NEEDS is Syd and not Claire. But for some reason, they all think Syd ain't going nowhere which is so naive. She got a bigggg offer and I can't wait to see when she tells Carmy. Would he confess her importance to him to keep her? Would he beg her to stay? Would he listen more or communicate more to keep her? Would he ask her what would make her stay at The Bear? Or would he be a b!tch and tell her to go cauase it's a great opportunity? And then after confess that he's having a hard time letting her go. Very interesting stuff.
- Last thing - Unc talking to Syd. I was shock he was looking to Syd for answers as to what's going on with Carmy. This was also telling. Unc believes or senses that these too are CLOSE. And Syd being a good gf/partner kept her mouth closed. SYD is an angel sent from heaven, cause I would be so done with The Bear😭😭😭😭.
We saw that Carmy and Syd are having conversations that we are not seeing on screen. For example, he asked her about her new apartment. When did she tell him?? He then asked about her dad. Sir, what about her dad? Did she tell him about the annoying bathroom exchange? Are they sharing more about their personal life that we, the audience is not seeing? So many fxcking questions in SZN3.
This is just my thoughts. I saw the season once so this not an analysis.
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impyssadobsessions · 11 months ago
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Prompt/Relationship Analysis/Headcanon DPxDC
Okay This can be taken as a prompt~ As I love to dive into possibilities of WHAT IF- Basically after becoming friends/adopted by the bats and entering the hero circle he starts to become insecure in his place as a hero. Not feeling good enough.
So I can imagine after Danny befriends/gets in touch with the batfamily in some way. Like they've pretty much adopted him and now he's surrounded by heroes- (Both from Gotham and outside of it) That he starts to get insecure about his heroics as phantom. He starts to get to know other vigilantes, some with similar struggles and then it just dawns on him that they're better at it then him.. in every way. There is always someone who has one of his powers and does it better. Who can do the only thing he has been dedicating himself to- way better. And it hurts. Danny who grew up with a "perfect" older sister and being known as the failure of the two-I can see his insecurity eat at him. The feeling of not being good enough. Which is bad if mixing his trauma and guilt of a future that never happened or fear of losing everyone. ESPECIALLY because he's close to the bats.. The batfamily are perfectionist- because they have to be but Danny can't see that. Even rougher if the bats don't even realize they're doing it. Yeah they're better at sneaking, duh. They're highly skilled, because they've trained on it to be that way. Even if they don't hold the standard on Danny's head- it kills him to know he with all his powers is struggling to be as good as them. Can see only ones really about to notice are like Duke and Steph, or like Kon and other YJ members. Those that know how it feels to be next to them. Kon or Steph having to basically spell it out for Tim- which Tim like what? Then realizes and feels dumb because its so obvious. (plus having felt that way before just feels like a double whammy) (Can see all the bat members having felt that pressure too so its like an OOF how did I not notice moment) Or Step and Duke spelling it out for the rest of the family.. like DUH =w= Babs probably figures it out too. Imagine a cute heart to heart with Duke and Steph, and Alfred. Those picking up on the reason WHY Danny's acting strange. Danny pushing himself harder- feeling guilty about making it a competition but also not wanting to fail- ends up breaking down a little. Because he feels not enough. Even if he had reconciled with his parents and everything- still lingers that he was failing school.. struggling as a hero, struggling with relationships. Now he with other heroes and the doubts are so heavy. But he has no choice to pull through. So he does as he always does and keeps going even if he's crashing. Danny just not realizing his worth, despite everyone seeing it. Idk just seem like a perfect bonding moment for after Danny enters the dc world, for the bats to be like OH fucking right. Because they just accepted him as their own- Like setup for each bat to have their own one on one with DAnny. Each relating in different ways. Learning each has their own motivation and they all worry about not being enough- but how they cope. Danny rethinking reasons why he saves ppl- and in the end its just because he CANT let things happen when he has the power to stop it.. And even if he's not enough- he's there. And that can make such a difference. ......IDK if any of this made sense btw- couldn't focus properly at work because many scenarios of this was popping in my head. Still can't focus enough to keep a consistent thought- BUT I wanted to get this out <3 Because the scenarios in my head are so cute.
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sunnybyler · 8 months ago
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i’ve been sitting on my thoughts for so long but i just have to get this off my chest. i don’t like to yuck ppls yum so if you like e/riel pls scroll away nd keep having your fun it’s not my problem. however some of y’all can get mean as HELL and as an elucien i have to get this off my chest. (also warning for gwynriels i’m with y’all i defend y’all here however i do go in a bit on az in this so fair warning). i truly have no idea why e/riels cling so hard to the azriel bonus chapter in acosf because that chapter, more than literally anything else in the series, proved to me that e/riel is absolutely NOT going to be endgame. let me explain:
1. it is explicitly stated that azriel did not think of his relationship with elain outside of a sexual nature. i think some ppl get kinda annoyingly puritanical when trying to make this point when it’s like 100% certain lucien had sexual thoughts of elain too. the point isn’t the thoughts themselves. the difference here is the explicit mention that he didn’t consider anything with her outside of that.
2. the point above ^ is further exacerbated by the fact that az did not give a flying fuck if he killed elain’s MATE. even if elain hasn’t accepted the bond, it would still be extremely painful for her based on what we’ve seen with rhys, feyre, and even rhys’s parents (who weren’t good for each other, yet we saw how rhys’s dad lost it when she died). now of course us lucien lovers know damn well he would never in a million years call a blood duel to try to claim elain (and fuck u rhys for saying that, i usually have your back but come ON you are not the only male who can respect their mate’s autonomy). but az doesn’t know that!? in fact seems to agree with rhys that he could. ppl argue on who would win that fight — my opinion hinges 100% on if powers are fully unleashed but that’s not the point at all. no matter WHO wins, elain is going to feel responsible for someone’s death. of course it wouldn’t be her fault if men decided to be fucking stupid, but with the little we know about elain shows that she would feel so guilty if that happened. but azriel doesn’t seem to give af that anyone fighting to the death over her is the last thing she would ever want. not only did az not think of elain outside his fantasies and therefore not fully care for her, but he doesn’t seem to even KNOW elain in this chapter. now, i could go in on this in acosf as a whole. but i’m keeping it to this chapter alone.
3. and further on THAT point, az doesn’t really give any reasoning on his interest in elain outside of this insane “three brothers/three sisters” thing he fully pulled out of his ass. tbh i almost thing this is sjm’s way of addressing the fan theories on that. now i get it to some extent from az’s pov — seeing his brothers happy with these sisters must fuck with your head after you’d all been bachelors together for 500 years. especially considering how he’s felt unworthy of love his whole life and this seems to support that insecurity of his. i get that it makes him feel ostracized from them, and that he’s now an outlier not being with an archeron. i get that. i do. i sympathize with him here. however that does not change the fact that he isn’t speaking of elain like she’s her own individual here — hell he fully calls her “the other”. i think part of this conversation was him being frazzled, i give him a bit more grace than some do (tho he pissed me off BAD in this scene), but we were fully in this man’s head. did he give us a full reason why he liked elain besides his brother’s mates and his sexual thoughts?? they would’ve at least crossed his mind when rhys was grilling them if sjm was trying to set up her next romance here. as it is, we have literally nothing to imply azriel actually likes elain herself and not the idea of being closer with his brothers.
4. az has kinda a habit of ignoring the reality of the women he’s attracted to in some way. he has his own version of them in his head that he puts on a pedestal. now i could do a whole psych eval on this man and how he thinks he’s unworthy of love and therefore only allows himself to have feelings for women he knows/thinks he can’t have. but to focus on this chapter alone, my points above ^ about how he doesn’t really think of elain outside his fantasies/bringing him closer to his brothers and not really understanding her pretty much wraps it up there. i mean he even talks about how he thinks his scarred hands don’t belong on her because she’s so perfect in his eyes. that’s not love, that’s obsession and it’s unhealthy. he clearly thinks himself below elain and ignores that she has her own flaws too.
5. aaaand i saved the biggest for (almost) last….. GWYN. this is a genuine GENUINE question. why in the fucking hell. would sjm make half the chapter focusing on az & gwyn if she was teasing e/riel. like that makes no sense. not to be annoying and mention chekhov's gun but that idea applies to relationships too. i’m sorry but she couldn’t be more explicit about her future romances. you could argue “oh well it’s because there’s gonna be a love triangle”. y’all. elain has. elain has a mate. there already IS a love triangle. there was absolutely no reason for her to bring gwyn into this chapter other than her preparing us for a future relationship, literally none. especially with all the romantic subtext (hell not even subtext, just TEXT). gwyn getting him to talk about himself so easily when he’s so quiet usually, him taking the idea of making her happy and he “buried the image down deep, where it GLOWED QUIETLY” (which SCREAMS mating bond to me but even if it’s not it’s clearly something he cherishes deeply), the SHADOWSINGERS SHADOWS SANG FOR HER!?
6. the fucking necklace regifting. oh it’s bad. OHHH ITS BAD. when the girls realize it’s gonna be SO messy but im hoping sjm doesn’t go the stupid cat fight route bc neither of them did anything wrong. az did. i’m sorry i’m dunking on him so much in this post i rlly don’t hate him i just think he needs like decades of therapy (which tbf don’t we all) which i unfortunately don’t think sjm is going to give him before giving him his romance. but even the biggest azriel lovers have to admit that this was insanity. a few points on it here. first, if it’s so easily regiftable then it couldn’t have been that well thought out in regards to elain. say what you will about lucien’s gifts, even argue that he gave her jewelry too. but elain was actually shown wearing pearls. az’s gift seemed shallow to me — it was something pretty, and elain’s pretty, and it had a flower, and elain gardens. it’s clear lucien put SO much more thought into his gifts, whether he succeeded or not (which i need to remind y’all — we still don’t know. maybe she liked the gifts maybe she didn’t, but regardless she acted the way she did bc of her feelings about the bond, not the gift). and azriel has spent so much more time with elain than lucien has. if that necklace really felt like elain to him, he could’ve kept it or returned it. but nope. buddy gave it to a whole other girl bc he could easily associate it with someone else. he clearly felt some special pull towards gwyn too, going out of his way to give it to her. he had ONE meaningful conversation with her. i already discussed the quote earlier that makes me think mating bond personally. but no matter what, him giving her the same gift he gave someone he was pursuing romantically is a clear sign of what’s to come (and probably a setup for some sort of drama that i don’t think im mentally ready for).
so there we have it! why i think that the bonus chapter thoroughly proves that e/riel is not going to be endgame. i honestly think it’s possible they might be a thing for a minute (tho i could also see this being the closing of that chapter), but i don’t think it’s going to last. sjm just gave us too many blatant hints that elain and az would NOT work together long term, and that azriel in particular is more suited for someone else. i might’ve missed some points bc there is SO much that goes down in this tiny chapter so lmk if there’s other stuff you picked up on!
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wheeboo · 1 year ago
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seventeen as wave to earth songs
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FEATURING. seventeen (ot13) GENRE. headcanons WARNINGS. none WORD COUNT. 1.3k
notes: i thought n wrote this within the hours of 3-4 am because my brain couldn’t fight the urge even tho no one asked for this lmao ;; im blaming this seungkwan edit on tiktok that conspired me to do this. a lot of ppl have prob done this but this is my take (some of them were HARD) :') honestly any of these can be switched around
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choi seungcheol as calla
the first word i associated with this song is "devotion", and my mind immediately thought of cheol. he is the definition of loyalty and puts in his all when it comes to love and towards whoever his calla will be. he has the power of reassurance and hope, and this can also be interpreted vice versa will cheol being the "calla" of the relationship--the one who may be withering away inside, so he needs that other half to supply him with the rain that he needs to grow
"But Calla, you can always grow back, oh If you don't have enough sunlight I'll blow the clouds away, Calla Bloom yourself until the end"
yoon jeonghan as daisy.
jeonghan as daisy just MAKES SENSE?? he is the splash of colour within a simplistic life, a constant source of happiness even in the most mundane situations. i just love the vibrant feels of this song and it makes me imagine a scenario of running down the beach holding hands with him. seeing his presence just never fails to brighten up my day up, and its just a very comforting song in general which reminds me sm of him
"Oh, daisy, it's my happiness to run into you Life always goes on and on But, I'll live with you forever So, be my daisy"
joshua hong as bad
the instrumentals of the song gives me joshua vibes. and just like the lyrics, how can the sight of joshua's smile/just him in general not make your day even better? for some reason i also had an imagination of him serenading someone with this song plsss, it would be so swoonworthy to hear that. its such a romantic song abt finding joy and happiness in your loved one, and i think joshua has a lot of love inside of him
"How could my day be bad when I'm with you? You're the only one who makes me laugh So how can my day be bad? It's a day for you"
wen junhui as light
the constant mention of the moon and the sky just gives me jun energy. i don't know if the word quirky is the right word to call this song (probably not, now that i think abt it, maybe more calm) but its a word i would definitely describe jun with. he's always a person who tries his best to shine as much as he could and he's just someone you can rely on yk
"You are my sea, you are my sunshine The star, the moon"
kwon soonyoung as pink
this song is just very... freeing and nostalgic? and it reminds of me soonyoung where everything just feel so liberating and free when it comes to being with him. his spirit just seems to rid of any worries just so easily, and it kind of reminds me of the sunset, where the colour pink is shown, and just like the song says- it's such a beautiful colour just like him
"During the sunset The pink light is clear It drew you, the beautiful you Your image" (translation may not be accurate because it's in full korean)
jeon wonwoo as seasons
someone had to be seasons and it was such a hard choice of who to give this song to but ultimately, i picked wonwoo. this song is just so bittersweet and melancholic. it holds so many heartfelt emotions inside of it but also so many unhappy emotions as well. it displays vulnerability and how that kind of feeling can feel burdensome to those around you and overall, i feel like he is the more perfect choice for this song tbh
"Oh my life is fallin' apart Maybe no one will notice if I disappear But I'll pray for you all the time If I could be by your side I'll give you all my life, my seasons"
lee jihoon as wave
i absolutely adore the instrumentals of this song sm. it's about embracing the unknown with someone special and i feel like the kinda fits with jihoon very well. i just love the symbolism of waves and stars in the song and how it symbolises this desire to adventure and traverse thru the unknown. i also think jihoon is very introspective n knowing that nothing lasts forever, but with the wave being mentioned that will last forever just,, perfectly contrasts with that? this was a bit hard to explain asljkdlas n made more sense in my head
"When you spoke to me, The words are like a floating star Now I'm next to you The waves will take us far away"
xu minghao as ride
the lyrics of the song is basically describing someone else being your safe space, and i definitely think minghao is that. he is the type of person whose presence is an easy source of comfort to whatever sort of emotional baggage one may hold. he's simply just the definition of the word comfort and to me, is what this song gives
"I'm on a ride Ride You are my city Everything"
kim mingyu as peach eyes
mingyu is just the type of person whose eyes seem to hold SO MUCH love or appear so lovestruck? or just him in general tbh--he just seems to hold so much love and is willing to dump that all for the person he adores w all his life. like eyes can carry so much within them istg. this song is also more on the cheery and upbeat side and i definitely think that resonates w the type of person that he is
"Peach eyes and blue skies It's on the moonlight, how many songs I write You'll be my sunlight, how could I not rely On you, peach eyes?"
lee seokmin as sunny days
the sun = seokmin hello?? i love the description of nature in this song and it reminds me of walking in the park on a sunny afternoon with him and it's just so perfect, like how everything is just so insignificant without the presence of the other person aka him. it's a golden type of love where it doesn't waver even as time goes by, and i can definitely see that with seokmin
"You are my golden age Evеrything shines so bright That my eyes go blind Our youth never ages here"
boo seungkwan as love.
this is my favourite wave to earth song btw. it may just be me being very biased but listening to the song while thinking of him just FITS him? the song is literally abt the strength of love thru hardships, being someone with a fragile heart, and reminds me of those types of hugs where it just feels... right? like everything is simply okay? the song makes me ascend each time i listen to it on full blast, and boo never fails to make me ascend with not just his voice, but his care and the amount of love he carries in himself, his strength, just HIM
"My little heart too Like small waves in it Broken and pushed back Melting into you Only then can I see my eternity" (translation may not be accurate because it's in full korean)
vernon chwe as so real
the instrumentals in this song esp at the end are so superior btw. other than that, despite the calm vibes this song emits just like vernon, it's also a song about feeling stuck, about being lost in your emotions. not that i'm assuming vernon is feeling this way, but in general, it reminds me of that feeling being alone in your own world which i think suits him with this song more than others
"I can't explain Where I'm buried now An empty vein You'll never understand"
lee chan as surf.
this song has such an uplifting and upbeat vibe and it's about enjoying the time that you have, even though it's temporary, and living in the moment spending time with yourself and also those that you love as well. the lyrics make me smile so much, and i definitely think chan fits the song very well because i def think he has this power to charge others (like his members) with energy just by being himself
"Dance my babe, dance my friends We don't have much time to enjoy Just sing it my babe Bigger than you ever did We don't have much time to enjoy Our time will be gone someday But I'm okay Life is like surfin' anyway"
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taglist (open) ʚɞ @enhazen @haowrld @ylliris-hanniehae @icyminghao @slytherinshua @jeonride @lockburn-castle @vrnism @weird-bookworm @mhlsymlysn @ryuwonieebae
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