#also dear god i would not make a good patton

[numetaljackdog]

what i'm listening to 3/2024

spot.//yt

Limp Bizkit - Pollution: got this played on my local radio station bc i got connections

DC Talk - Jesus Freak: i have become OBSESSED with this christian rap rock (kind of) band. couldn't explain it very well myself but i think they're really fun and super silly. i've been listening to this particular song for quite some time now but it's only recently that my full obsession has developed and i've been getting other people roped into it too..... i'm just spreading the good word 😁

Whitechapel - The Saw Is the Law: had this one stuck in my head something FIERCE these past few weeks. just that crusher chorus line is so fucking good, I never was a huge whitechapel fan but they go hard when the mood is right. played it at work and everything

The Smiths - Bigmouth Strikes Again: cumming all over myself i love the riff and the melodies and there are some real good lines despite very few lyrics overall... admittedly that squeaky chipmunk harmony is pretty goofy but when the rest of it is so good who even care.

Faith No More - Midlife Crisis: i like this one more and more every time i hear it. a friend of mine introduced me to this and it's been stuck in my head relentlessly ever since. also definitely goofy as fuck but i love the kinda hardcore-type vocals mike patton throws into the verses, especially in the live version and the big swelling bridge. a song like this makes me get why people talk about faith no more as "proto-nu metal" or whatever..... fred durst would do some shit like this <3 also got this played on the radio station

Butthole Surfers - Cough Syrup: i don't like this band as much as i wish i did, though i've certainly got plenty more listening to do. def some stupid lyrics here bc it's the butthole surfers but i actually really really like "i can't talk so i guess i got nothing to say." something about that one

Third Eye Blind - Jumper: it's back! i think i've expended all the words i have about this already but man what a good little pop song

Breaking Benjamin - Skin: great example of how enjoying breaking benjamin is more about hearing the loud guitars and the unique syllabic experience of ben's weird as hell enunciation than it is about anything original or lyrical. what the hell is this song about i don't know. but it bangeth mightily. this also stands to represent that i and mine have been listening to a fuckton of bb lately

Elliott Smith - Cupids Trick: a dear friend of mine has put me on that elliott smith shit fairly recently and i think this is my fav from either/or... the riff so good and it's catchy and has a really dark punchy sound compared to the rest of the record (which is also real good! but just different)

Gorillaz - Cracker Island: heard this on the radio a ways back and instantly came all over myself and said "omg who is this is this the new sound of the summer????" and then looked it up and saw that it was a band i already know that's been around for decades ^_^ but it's just a banger and they found one good hook and punched it up to 11!!

Kittie - Eyes Wide Open: KITTIE BACK???? and with a rager O_O <me when my eyes are wide open. lol. not much further commentary here i'm just excited for the new record and i hope it's good and not bad

Enon - Window Display: my experience continues of getting into this band at the pace of a tortoise or perhaps a snail. p sure this is like the biggest song from them and. it good! they just have a tastey sound and i like the vocalist's delivery

Lamb Of God - Redneck: been on some metalcore shit too and like groove metal and shit and it hardly gets better than lamb of god. i feel like i haven't often properly appreciated them but what a consistently banger band. and this one just has some cool catchy parts that have been in my head since like high school. JUST! ONE! TIME!!!!!

Insane Clown Posse - Halls Of Illusions: my friends and i have been indulging in what we're calling "fucked up friday" which sometimes includes icp as a soundtrack. still want to listen to the full album with people at some point. but anyway i never took too too much notice of this track until a friend put it on and i realized how good it is. and frankly kind of saw-coded w it

Drowning Pool - Tear Away: kind of not great but the chorus glued itself to me. sort of the death toll of nu metal giving in to the way of the post-grunge ballad but man this vocalist was damn solid!

Victoria Monét - On My Mama: proof that i haven't completely exited the pop listening sphere. i still got todd. go watch the top ten of 2023 for a review

Rai Panesar - I Don't Give a Shet (IDGAS): okay this is a stupid joke song. i think. but i like to imagine it's sincere. like i like to imagine the dude that made this thought it was actually pretty cool and had fun making it. i'm scared to find anything else out about him bc it might ruin this hope that i have

Theory of a Deadman - Rx (Medicate): SUCKS. but kind of fascinating. how the fuck did theory have a hit in like 2017 or whenever this came out. by making a hip hop country rock song about doing drugs. oh okay

The Revivalists - Wish I Knew You: adding this alongside cigarette daydream in the canon of "indie band has relentlessly catchy pop hit that i listen to a bunch and attach memories to but actually think kind of sucks ass." i heard this in a restaurant a while back and went omg it's crazy by gnarls barkley i love crazy by gnarls barkley despite not really having very strong feelings about crazy by gnarls barkley but well these are the things we think to ourselves. so i kept waiting for the part where he goes does that make me craaaaazayyyyyy.... but it never came!!!! every chorus would just end on nothing and then move on to the next verse. i got edged by this song until almost the very end where i finally figured out what song it actually was and then got that stuck in my head but i'm still bitter! motherfucker! and also i don't like their band name. what exactly are you reviving 🤨

[endy-the-anxious]

Jesus, you look shitty

Summary: Virgil goes to visit Remus again after years of not seeing him. Things.. don't really go well.

Word count: 2293

Characters: Remus, Virgil, Patton, Janus (mentioned)

Notes: This is inspired by the episode 'The Telescope' from Bojack Horseman.

Tagging: @lost-in-thought-20 @chituri

----------

Virgil sighed as he stood in front of the door that led to the dark side of the mind scape. He hadn’t been back here in so long. Ever since he left the dark sides, and Janus had followed him soon after, they’d both worked to keep the parts separate. It needed to be like that, for Thomas’ sake. Janus had told him that he’d tried to convince Remus to be less disturbing so he could join the light sides too, and that Remus had asked him to stay instead, but because they couldn’t reach an agreement, Janus left too.

Since then, Remus hadn’t shown himself, and while part of Virgil was glad that Thomas was now safe from his intrusive thoughts, another part of him was plagued with guilt for having abandoned his childhood friend. That guilt kept building up over time, and now, years later, he figured it was time to apologize for everything that had happened between them. If he could just make amends, maybe things would get better, and he wouldn’t have to deal with guilt all the time.

He didn’t want to go alone, though. He hadn’t seen Remus in so long. It would at least be extremely awkward, and he’d rather not be alone in a room with him. So, he’d brought Patton, who silently stood beside him, also looking rather nervous.

Virgil looked at him, and made eye contact for a moment, “..this is good, right? That we’re going to apologize?” he asked.

His friend nodded, “I mean, I think so, yeah. I learned that apologizing always makes things better,” he said, smiling a bit.

“..Right. Okay,” Virgil said as he gathered up some courage. He then raised his hand, and knocked on the door, and the pair waited for a response.

A few minutes later, the door opened, and there was Remus. Virgil remembered him always looking messy, but dear god, it had gotten so much worse. His hair was long and greasy.. When was the last time he’d washed it? His clothes were in a bad state too, all wrinkly and full of stains.

“..hey, Remus..” Virgil said, trying to keep his tone a bit nonchalant to mask his nervousness.

Surprisingly enough, a grin spread across Remus’ face, “Virgil! Jesus, you look shitty! Has life with the light sides not been as good as you’d hoped?” he joked.

From the corner of his eyes, the anxious side noticed Patton purse his lips together after hearing the comment, and he chuckled a little, unfortunately already feeling awkward, “Heh.. no, it’s been nice. You don’t look so good either, Rem,” he said, attempting to joke back.

And within a second after saying that, Remus’ smile disappeared, and his unblinking eyes met Virgil’s with a look so cold that he almost shivered.

“I’m dying.”

Virgil’s breath got stuck in his throat for a moment. Out of all the words Remus could’ve said, that was the last thing he expected.

“..oh,” he managed to bring out.

Remus stared at him a bit longer, before putting on a wide smile again, “Well, anyways. How nice of you two to visit after all these years! Come in! I’ll make you both something nice,” he said as he clapped his hands together. He gestured at Virgil and Patton to follow him, and then turned around and walked into his living space.

Virgil took a few seconds to calm down from his shock of seeing Remus act so strange. Stranger than usual, that is. He glanced at Patton, “..please don’t leave me alone with him,” he said quietly, and felt a little bit reassured when his friend nodded. They walked in together.

The inside of the place was even worse. It reeked with the smell of something dead. Maybe it was the plants in the room that looked like they hadn’t been watered in years, or maybe Remus actually had some dead animals hidden around here. Virgil repressed the urge to cover his mouth and nose with the sleeve of his hoodie.

“I was just about to make myself some food, so you can join if you want!” Remus’ voice echoed from the kitchen, “Just sit down at the table and I'll be there in a sec!”

The two light sides exchanged silent glances, and despite the fact that they both wanted to leave, they knew they couldn’t do that yet. Virgil had come here to apologize, and Patton had come with him for extra support. They couldn’t just leave without doing that. Especially not since Remus seemed quite happy to see them here. So, they sat down at the table.

A few minutes later, Remus came back with some bread and meat on plates, which he put down in front of them, “Bone apple teeth!” he said with a grin.

Patton looked at the food. It.. didn’t look appetizing at all, and.. was that mold? He felt like throwing up, and quickly decided to think of something else to forget about it. “..what a coincidence. We ate something like this yesterday-..” he said with a small smile.

“Well duh,” Remus chuckled, “I get all the scraps of food you throw away! Don’t worry. You’ll get used to the mold after a while.” he said as he sat down at the table too, opposite to the light sides.

Virgil stared at the food Remus had served him, and just like Patton, he was appalled by even the idea of eating it. He looked up and saw the intrusive side had already started eating, using his hands to shove the food in his mouth as if he hadn’t eaten for days. It actually made him feel nauseous, and he quickly covered his mouth with his hand, to hopefully keep himself from throwing up.

Noticing the movement, Remus looked up, and made eye contact with Virgil, “..what’s wrong, Virge?” he asked with his mouth full, “Do you need better cutlery?”

Confused by the question, the anxious side glanced at Patton for a second, “...uhh.. what..?” he asked.

“Because if you do-..” Remus continued, “I can always give you the knife you left in my back years ago!” he added, before laughing.

Virgil, not sure what else to do, awkwardly laughed along, “Heh.. r- right… walked right into that one. Who asks about cutlery..?” he mumbled.

It was silent for a moment, with the only sound being Remus’ eating. The tension was horrible, and neither light side knew what to do in this situation. They could’ve handled an angry Remus, perhaps. But this was very different from what they expected, and the last thing they wanted to do was make things worse.

Luckily, dinner was over rather quickly, and Remus stood up to collect the plates and bring them back to the kitchen, where he left them in the sink before joining the other sides again, who hadn’t moved from their seats at the table.

Breaking the tense silence, Remus clapped his hands, “Well! It was certainly nice to have you two over, but I'm sure you’d like to go back to your own place now. I won’t keep you here any longer.” he said, before turning around and walking to the door again, gesturing at Virgil and Patton to follow him.

Remus brought the light sides to the door and grinned as he opened it for them, “Again, nice seeing ya! I need to get some rest. Close the door behind you!” he said, before simply walking off and letting his visitors stand by the door, perplexed.

Virgil and Patton exchanged concerned looks, before the former spoke up, “..I don’t feel good just leaving him here..” he admitted.

The moral side nodded and agreed, “Me neither.. I had no idea it was this bad for him. The awful food, and.. he’s dying too..? I didn’t know we sides could even die-” he admitted.

Fidgeting with the zipper on the sleeve of his hoodie, Virgil thought about what to do, “..maybe I should go back in, alone.” he said. When Patton grabbed his hand and asked if he was sure, he nodded, “..I mean, I was the first one to leave him.. and I never came back or apologized. I need to do that. If he dies before I get the chance to-..” he cut himself off and looked down, “..I could never forgive myself..”

Patton squeezed his hand, “I understand.. but be safe, okay?” he said softly, though Virgil’s nod and reply didn’t exactly reassure him.

Putting on a brave face and walking back in alone was harder for Virgil than he thought it would be. But, he told himself, he was doing this for Remus. Inside, he made his way to Remus’ room, and knocked on the door before walking in, where he saw him sitting on his bed, leaning against the headrest with his eyes closed.

He seemed to not notice Virgil at first, which concerned him. You’d think one would hear the sound of someone entering their room, but apparently that wasn’t the case with Remus now.

Virgil stayed silent for a moment, looking at Remus. He coughed a little every once in a while, and.. some black smoke-like substance seemed to ooze right out of his skin with every cough, as if life was being sucked right out of him, slowly, and painfully.

The sight made Virgil’s blood run cold, as he realized that when Remus told him he was dying, he wasn’t exaggerating. He cleared his throat to get the other’s attention, and before he could even say anything, Remus’ eyes shot open, and he stared at Virgil with that same cold look he’d had before.

“Come to ruin my life some more, asshole?” he asked, any trace of niceness in his voice gone.

“I-.. no-” Virgil said, stumbling a little because he was once again caught off guard by Remus’ sudden change in demeanor. He fumbled with his hoodie strings for a second, trying to calm his nerves down before talking again. “Listen, I-... about what happened after I left-.. after Janus left-..” he started, “We.. we never meant for things to turn out this way..”

“So.. you’re apologizing?”

The anxious side nodded quickly, “Yes. I’m sorry, Remus..” he said, before smiling a little bit, Maybe, just maybe, they could be friends again, for a little while. Maybe.. he could save his old friend from death. But, Remus’ next words pulled him right out of his thoughts.

“Fuck off.”

Baffled, Virgil looked at him and stepped closer to try and reason with him, “Remus-.. I-.. I don’t think you understand me right now. I’m sorry.. you said you were dying and.. I can see it, and I’m so sorry. If you die, and I can’t at least make things better between us-.. I-”

Remus leaned forward a little and coughed again, “I said, Fuck. Off.” he repeated, keeping his voice low and threatening. “I’m not gonna forgive you just so you can feel better about your shitty self.” He reached out and grabbed Virgil by his collar, pulling him down to his eye level, “I want you to live. I want you to live knowing that there’s nothing you can do to make this better. I want you to live, knowing that you killed me.”

Virgil tried to pull away instinctively, but Remus was surprisingly strong for a dying person. “I-.. I-..” he said, terrified of what Remus might do to him now that they were alone. Was he going to take him down with him? After a few seconds, he registered what Remus had actually said, and he frowned, “M- me..? I- I’m not killing you!” he tried to defend himself “I- I just want to help!”

“Bullshit!” Remus shouted, which immediately resulted in him having a big of a coughing fit, causing him to let Virgil go. The intrusive side wheezed and gasped for air as his body secreted more black smoke. When he’d calmed down a bit, he looked up at Virgil and glared daggers at him. “I-.. I know it’s you. I can feel it. I helped you control your abilities, your room. Maybe you don’t realize it, but it’s you.” he said.

Having stepped back after Remus let him go, Virgil looked at Remus, “..so-.. if it’s me.. can’t I stop whatever i’m doing? Can’t I save you?” he asked quietly.

Remus leaned back and crossed his arms, “I don’t want to be saved. I don’t need you, or anyone else anymore, and I haven’t needed you for a long time.” he said coldly.

“You could’ve joined us, you know..?” Virgil said quietly, “When I left. When Janus left. He told me he offered you to join the light sides too, but you refused. Why?” he asked.

“..I never needed to be a light side. I was fine just being me,” Remus answered, looking away for a moment, “What I needed, was my friends. But you left me so you could become a light side. You both dropped me and forgot about me. Did you ever even consider you could’ve been a light side and my friend?” he asked before making eye contact again, “You care more about being a light side, than you ever cared about me, and I learned that a long time ago.”

Virgil let his arms drop to his sides as he listened to Remus, and while he didn’t want to admit it, he knew he was right. If he’d cared more, he would’ve visited sooner. Or.. he shouldn’t have left in the first place. It had been a mistake coming here, hadn’t it?

“I’m sorry..” he mumbled, turning around and hearing Remus reply to him one last time.

“No. You’re not. And now get out.”

..And Virgil did.

[spicycreativity]

BTW the only thing standing between me and non-stop posting Moceit cosplay pics is that the one roommate who cosplays Patton is neVER HERE

[iclaimedtobethebetterbard]

I saw your vampire demus post and let me introduce you to a horrible DM au (I'm adding only my horrible contributions to the au since idk if I can share the rest XDDD):

imagine Remus(and his friend Logan and Virgil) meeting vamprire!Janus

Virgil (who is not a vampire) being like: the is is a vampire/other mystical creature

Logan: what's your proof Virgil: *unrols a radiculously long parchment of paper * glad you asked

Logan: This is absurd

Remus: shhh, let the science man finish nerd

****

Virgil would have these silly theories like: I can't keep any notes on my phone because vampires are mind readers which means they can read all magnetic fields

Janus, who absolutely does not have that power and barerly knows how phones work: You're absolutely right

****

Remus absolutely uses a vampire pick-up-line when he meets Jan for the first time. Remus: I wish you were a vampire so we could do some necking. Janus:

alternative pickup-lines:

"You have permission to enter me anytime." Oh my effing God XD "They say my blood is the sweetest. Wanna find out how the rest me tastes?" <- I have a love hate relationship with all these pickup lines XD "You’re so beautiful I think my heart just stopped. Wow, it really did!" <-this sounds like sth Remus would say as a vampire sucks his blood dry The reason Janus is in town is because he was chased away from his old town and needs a place to crash at (he crashes at Patton's who is also a vampire).

[link to the post mentioned for anyone who is curious]

okay AAAAAAAA thank u for this ask!!!! every bit of it is all literally SO delightful, i have read it several times over and have not stopped grinning aaaaa i love it!!!!

those are. hilarious pickup lines help. and very remus. ghdjkflsg you may have a love hate relationship with them but i have a love love relationship with them /hj they're so funny jsldkfhfgkdfjhg. and just janus being like "oh dear god why is this attractive to me" but also being just. head over heels for remus (and maybe very slightly in denial about that even though it's obvious). so good aaaaa!!!! i love them very much.

also the dynamic between janus and virgil is SPOT ON to this scenario that is EXACTLY what they would be like in this situation omggg. like. i cannot express enough how much joy i am deriving from picturing this interaction skjdhfk. virgil is like "i am PREPARED FOR EVERY EVENTUALITY" including mostly eventualities that are just. not a concern. that he has spent way too much time thinking about lol. and janus is like "i Don't Know What You're Talking About but i can read enough context clues to make you think i am smarter than you and that's what matters 😌"

also i am So intrigued by the idea of vampires patton and janus Please keep talking if you would like to. are they friends? enemies? complicated but the only long term constants in each other's lives bc of the immortality thing? there are a variety of excellent options here. i just know that the conversation they have when janus shows up to crash at patton's place is gold.

anyway :D :D :D this was delightful thank u sm!!!!

[tlhrfanfic]

[Prinxiety] Is It Possible

Title: Is It Possible Ship: Prinxiety Warnings: Uh... just angel and demon mention. Fangs/sharp teeth mention. Words: 2,932 Request: So, this was the second request that I chose:  Prinxiety but they're an angel and demon who just can't stop running into each other, and lowkey don't want to stop? This was also sent in by an anon.

Summary: Virgil is an angel who has become alarmingly close with the one being he has no business being close with. Roman, the demon, on the other hand believes alarmingly close is just what they need to be.

Read on AO3

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Virgil wasn't in existence for The Beginning... but it was close. Never ask an angel how long they've been around. At best, like Virgil, that's way too much math and there are far better things to do. At worst... well, as far as Virgil had been told, those people are never heard from again. While Angels were supposed good and pure and faultless—blah blah blah—he'd dated a couple and knew better. Heh. Boy did he know better. 

 Anyway.

 The point was, Virgil had been around for a very long time and he had never, ever met anyone as exhausting and irritating as Roman.

“Aww, did you miss me, angel?”

 Virgil rolled his eyes, ignoring the heat that rose up the back of his neck. 

 “Right. Me, a lowly angel, missing the Prince of Darkness. I don’t think so.”

 Roman—a demon—actually pouted. 

 Virgil sensed the other behind him but when the demon wrapped his arms—and tail—around him, Virgil just sighed and pressed back into the touch.

 Their...relationship...was a complicated one, to say the very least. 

 “Don’t think you can try to distract me, Roman,” he said, turning around in his arms even as he said it. Unfortunately, as he was supposed to be watching over Remy, ready at a moment’s notice to guide the barista toward goodness, he was not doing a very good job at not being distracted.

 “Darling. I’m a demon. Distraction is inevitable. I’d be happy to give you a demon-stration.”

 Virgil actually snorted at that. He couldn’t help it. Ever since he’d become best friends with the human Patton, one that he had saved from Roman’s temptation, Virgil had become a sucker for puns. Roman seemed proud of himself. 

 Suddenly, his expression became sincere. Soft. 

 “I know we’re supposed to hate each other, kitten, but I don’t—”

 “Roman, stop.”

 “—hate you, Virgil.”

 Virgil grumbled under his breath. Here it came. 

 “I love you, kitten.”

 It wouldn’t be the first, or the last, time he’d said those words to Virgil.

 »»————　☠　————««

 Virgil thought back to the first time Roman had said those three little words. 

 He couldn’t recall the year—that was thousands upon thousands of lifetimes ago—but he could remember the day just like it was yesterday. 

 Roman had just beaten Virgil, tempting the human that they were both trying to win for their respectful bosses. 

 “Stop gloating,” Virgil muttered but he allowed a little sort at the victory dance the demon was currently doing. 

 “I’m afraid I cannot do that, Virgil.” He grinned happily, sun glinting off his canines.

 “You are very annoying.”

 “You know that you like me,” Roman teased, his voice sounding melodic as he spoke. Virgil’s eyes widened, his neck growing hotter and hotter. 

 “I do not!”

 “You do too—wait! Are you… are you blushing, angel?”

 Virgil groaned and threw his hands in the air. Of all the lifetimes he had known Roman, he couldn’t understand for the existence of him why he continued to be his friend. 

 Rather close friend, truth be told. 

 “Just… go back to your victory!”

 “What—oh right! Haha! I am the victor!”

 Thank God Roman had a one track mind where victory was concerned. He watched the other and snorted as a soft smile slowly slipped onto his face. Virgil rolled his eyes at the other’s continued antics but the grin did not leave his face. 

 “Aw! Look… what kind of expression is that? Does… does somebody have a crush?”

 He was once again saying the words as if they were a little lighthearted song. Virgil tensed slightly as the other closed the distance between them, watching his every move. Once the demon reached him, however, it was with a sincere and warm gaze that Roman regarded him. 

 Though he had known Roman long enough to know he had moments of sincerity, he couldn’t come up with one good reason why Roman would look at him with such warmth.

 “We’ve been at this for how long now, sweetheart?”

 Virgil didn’t know why but he didn’t have a good feeling about this. 

 “Stop,” he bristled.

 “Stop what, Virgil? I’m only pointing out the facts… Something I learned from Logan—you know, the human I stole from you.”

 Even when he was trying to be sentimental, he still had to go and rub it in. 

 That was so like Roman. 

 What Roman was saying, however, was true. They had been at this odd friendship-rivalry for a very long time.

 He also, maybe, was correct about Virgil having a crush on him. 

 Virgil didn’t have to admit it though!

 Not to himself, and sure as hell not to Roman. 

 “I don’t have a clue what you’re going on about, demon!”

 The blush that was currently inching up the back of his neck was completely ignored in favor of scowling at the demon. 

 “Uh huh,” Roman said, not sounding convinced in the slightest. 

 Virgil couldn’t really blame him but Virgil had always been difficult like that. 

 “Darling, we’ve been rivals, and friends, for thousands of years and for at least a couple of those thousand, we’ve been dancing around this thing between us.”

 “Thing?” Virgil asked incredulously. “We do not have a thing Roman.”

 But… perhaps they did.

 Still. Roman was a demon and Virgil was an angel. 

 It just wouldn’t—couldn’t—work. And Virgil, ever one to guard his heart, was not about to take a chance on something that had no hope of ever working out.

 “Virgil,” Roman began, sounding sad. He moved to stand right in front of him.

 Virgil was sure he should move away but, he was a little ashamed to admit, he just didn’t want to. 

 Looking down at the shorter being, Virgil sighed as he caught the adoration and affection in those golden eyes. 

 “Roman,” Virgil said, his tone defensive. 

 “Virgil… I’m certain I’m in love with you.”

 God damn it.

 “Why?”

 Roman looked confused and perhaps a little affronted. 

 “What do you mean ‘why’?”

 “I mean that exactly, Roman. Why? Why, why, why, why?”

 Virgil moved away from the other as he started to pace back and forth. 

 “You are a demon. I am an angel. Roman—it’s impossible.”

 “I like a challenge…”

 “There is no challenge here. There is no anything! We are supposed to be enemies! Why can you not get that?”

 Roman smiled a soft, sad smile. 

 “You’ll never be an enemy to me, sweetheart.”

 Virgil blushed and gestured wildly with his hands. 

 “Stop!” His pacing interrupted, Virgil put his face into his hands and groaned.

 Roman closed the distance between once more. 

 “Virgil, I am going to embrace you.”

 Roman gave the angel time to move away if he wished before pulling Virgil into his arms. Virgil tensed at first but made no motion to pull away. Eventually, he closed his eyes and leaned into the embrace. 

 “It’s okay, sweetheart. I love you and I’ve got all the time in existence for you to realize that we are simply meant to be.”

 “You simple minded fool…” Virgil grumbled but it was with a shaky breath that he gazed down at the other. 

 “I am far from simple, my dearest angel.”

 That was God’s Honest truth too. Roman was most eccentric. 

 “Yeah, yeah.”

 Roman chuckled deeply before pulling away just enough to take Virgil’s hand and bow over it, kissing the back of his hand as he looked up at him from beneath long dark lashes. Heart thumping heavily against his chest, Virgil quickly pulled his hand away before flailing his hands wildly once more. 

 There were quite a few times after that, but each one was met with Virgil’s dismissal. Confessions brushed off and pretended they didn’t make his heart stir. Denying what he wanted. It just never seemed like the right time. 

 Then again, in Virgil’s mind, no time would ever be right. 

 The next time Virgil could recall in complete detail was nine hundred years, give or take a couple hundred, after the first. 

 Virgil snorted as Roman growled the moment the human they’d both been watching over made the decision to stay on the straight and narrow. His lip curled slightly, showing off twin sharp fangs, making the demon’s displeasure clear as glass.

 “What’s wrong, Roman?” Virgil teased with a smirk. “Can’t take the heat? Get out of hell.” 

 Roman made a face and proceeded to actually stick his tongue out. 

 “Rude.” 

 Roman pouted but comfortable silence soon fell between them as they watched the human. Virgil was enjoying the moment but soon tensed. Companionable silence usually led to one thing. 

 “Virgil…”

 The demon’s voice was soft, warm, and gentle. It warmed him completely and when the other pulled him into a firm embrace, Virgil allowed it. 

 “Roman,” Virgil said after some time, his voice quiet and a little shaky.

 “Yes, dear angel?” 

 “We… we can’t.”

 “Why not?”

 “You are a demon and I am an angel.”

 “Very observant, my dear.”

 “Fool.”

 “Only a fool in love.” 

 “Oh my God, you are so infuriating.”

 Roman pouted at that but sighed and squeezed Virgil a little tighter. The angel gave a start as Roman’s tail curled around his leg but settled into the embrace once more, sighing.

 “All of your flirtation and embraces are not going to change the face that we are an angel and a demon, Roman. Nothing can change that.”

 “Who says anything needs to change? You being an angel is one of the many things I love about you, angel.”

 “Don’t use that word!” Virgil hissed, pressing his face into the other’s neck, blushing deeply. 

 A deep chuckle left the demon, Virgil feeling the rumble of it against his body with how closely Roman held him. 

 “Which word? Change? Angel?”

 Virgil pulled back to glower down at the demon. 

 “You know which word!”

 “Mmm… I don’t think I do. I’ve said so many words. It really could be any one of them.”

 Virgil growled. 

 “Stop saying ‘love’!”

 “Oh! That word!”

 “You knew very well I meant that word.”

 “Maybe… but I wanted to hear you say it.”

 Virgil grumbled again, ignoring the heat flooding his face.

 “You fiend.”

 Roman laughed heartily at that. A moment later, Roman pulled back to reach up, taking Virgil’s face into his hands. 

 “You know what comes next, angel.” He was right. Virgil new damn well what was coming next. 

 God damn him.

 “I love you, Virgil.”

 Virgil sighed heavily. 

 “I really wish you wouldn’t.”

 “Now, that’s not true.”

 It really wasn’t but Roman definitely did not need to be privy to that information.

 “I’m going to kiss you now.”

 Roman didn’t move to kiss him right away. Virgil assumed it was to give him time to move out of his embrace if he did not wish for the demon to kiss him. Yet, though Virgil knew he needed to leave right then, the angel just couldn’t bring himself to do it. 

 Roman smiled, pressing closer to the other as he leaned up, closing his eyes as he covered Virgil’s mouth with his own. Virgil couldn’t deny, even to himself, that he felt the intense spark in that kiss. He could, however, deny, to everyone for all of time that he most definitely kissed the demon back. 

 Especially to himself.

 There were many similar encounters that followed after that day. There were fleeting touches and longing kisses but Virgil could never bring himself to give into Roman’s offer completely. He had come close a handful of times but the closest had been in the Roaring Twenties when the angel and demon had finally gone state-side. 

 “Hello, angel~” A voice purred in his ear.

 Arms wrapped around him and Virgil pressed back into his embrace. 

 “Hello, fiend.” It was said with, perhaps, a little less grumbling than was normal. 

 “Mmm.” 

 Roman nuzzled into Virgil from behind, brushing his nose along the other’s neck and making him shiver. 

 “Nice to not be against each other… for once.”

 “Just because we have different charges, Roman, does not mean we aren’t against each other.”

 “You know what I mean, kitten.”

 Virgil sighed. Roman wasn’t wrong. He knew exactly what Roman meant but everything with him was all so confusing and complicated that he just didn’t want to deal with it.

 So he turned around in the other’s embrace, looking down at him with determination. 

 “Just shut up and kiss me, fiend.”

 If Roman was surprised by his request—okay, order—he didn’t show it. Instead, the demon smiled at him, love and adoration clear in his golden gaze. 

 “Anything for you, angel.”

 Roman reached up and held his face like he had so many times before. Virgil melted into the demon as the other kissed him deeply. If a soft, content sound escaped him as he wrapped his arms around the demon, Virgil would never admit it.

 The most recent time had been a week ago. Both of them had been assigned to the same human—a young barista named Remy—and Virgil had definitely had his work cut out from him. 

 “Oooh~ I’ve got this one in the bag!”

 Virgil rolled his eyes but had nothing to say. Roman was correct. In fact, even though Remy seemed like a good person, he would definitely fit in more with Roman’s crowd. 

 Roman grinned, flashing his sharp canines. 

 Virgil quickly looked away, ignoring the heat rising up the back of his neck and the way his heart began to beat rapidly in his chest. 

 God damned human disguise.

 God damned Roman.

 “What is that look for, angel?”

 Virgil startled slightly to find the demon so much closer suddenly. 

 “You freaking ninja, GOD!”

 Roman laughed at that, flashing his fangs once more. 

 Virgil really wished Roman would stop doing that! In what millennium had he started to find those nasty things adorable?

 “Why the hell don’t you wear a human disguise?”

 Roman blinked. He then grinned slowly. 

 God damn blush. 

 “Because no human form could ever compare to all of this.”

 Then, because he obviously had it out for the angel, Roman proceeded to gesture at all of himself while shimmying. 

 Virgil scoffed but it was weak and the blush coloring his face a pretty magenta told another story. 

 “Aww! So you do agree!”

 “Shut up, you!”

 “Nope!” Roman chirped, popping the end of the word as he flashed his sharp canines once more. 

 Virgil covered his face with his hands and groaned.

 “So cute!”

 “I am not cute!” Virgil growled but allowed the demon to pull him into a hug. 

 “Okay, okay. Put your claws away, kitten.”

 Virgil grumbled but leaned into Roman’s embrace with a content sigh. 

 If only the demon could leave well enough alone for once. This was Roman he was talking about, however, so that was impossible. 

 As if to prove Virgil right, Roman pulled away, causing Virgil to look down at him in surprise. The smile Roman regarded him with was softer and more sincere than Virgil had ever remembered seeing it. He tensed before relaxing once more, knowing what was coming and knowing, by now, there was no way to stop it. 

 Also, there was a part of him—a very small but extremely stubborn part—that didn’t want to stop it.

 “I love you, angel.”

 Virgil sighed heavily, nodding. 

 “Yeah…” he muttered. “I know, fiend. You never give me enough milleniums to forget.”

 Roman chuckled at that before taking his face into both hands and kissing him soundly. 

 Virgil was more than happy to give into his kisses in favor of stopping any further discussions on love. 

 »»————　☠　————««

 Which brought them back to the present and Roman, once again, professing his love for the angel. 

 Virgil’s heart was beating rapidly against his chest and warmth settled over him. Roman’s words and actions had had that effect on him for a very long time. 

 There was, however, a small but very significant difference. 

 For the first time since Roman had first confessed his love, Virgil felt that—perhaps—he could take a chance. 

 Then there was the sudden realization that he was wholly and unreservedly in love with Roman. 

 “I… I love you too…” Virgil said slowly, watching the other closely. 

 Roman’s head snapped up so fast Virgil felt bad for his neck. He didn’t have long to pity his neck, however, as golden eyes grew wide with wonder. 

 “Kitten… did you just—”

 “Yes, fiend! I finally said it! I love you! Are you happy now?”

 Roman smiled brightly, his gaze wet and filled with adoration and happiness. 

 “Very, angel. Oh so very!”

 Virgil sighed but smiled warmly at the demon. Shaking slightly out of nerves and the raw intensity of the moment, Virgil reached out to take Roman’s face into his hands. Brushing the other’s cheeks with his thumbs, Virgil held the other’s gaze. As if controlled by some unseen force, Virgil leaned in and kissed Roman softly—tentatively—upon his mouth.

 Roman sighed into the kiss, the sound a little shaky. Virgil quickly pulled back, looking down at the other with concern. 

 “What’s wrong?”

 “Nothing, angel. Just… just so happy.”

 He looked it too, beaming up at him and regarding him with so much love that it was almost disconcerting. 

 “Fiend,” Virgil said softly with affection evident in his tone. Roman chuckled softly. 

 “Angel.” 

 Virgil surged forward, kissing Roman firmly on the mouth. When his demon immediately deepened the kiss, Virgil reciprocated quite happily. 

 It was as the two kissed, the world continuing all around them, that Virgil had an epiphany. 

 Maybe, just maybe, a demon and angel falling in love wasn’t impossible after all.

-----------------------------------------------

Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Thomas Sanders or Joan, nor the rest of their group. I do not own or make money off of these characters. I only own the story as it is written.

Super uber thanks to my beta reader for this fic @sunshineandteddybears​ and the two that preread my stuff to make sure its up to par: @romantichopelessly & @sunshineandteddybears.

[fangirlwriting-stories]

A Kind Of Understanding

Summary: Remus' decision to babysit a kid for a couple nights to earn some extra cash ends up getting him in over his head when the kid tells him something the parents didn't mention.

In all fairness, Roman had told him he was probably getting in over his head.  Remus was the idiot who didn’t believe him.

He just needed money.  If he was actually going to be able to afford all the spray paints he wanted for his new art project by the roller rink, he was going to need a lot more money than he had.  Curse him and his ambitious ideas.

Remus considered himself lucky when he quickly found a family willing to pay 60 bucks a night to watch their eight year old kid.  Roman took one look at the offer and said he was definitely going to be dealing with a brat.

“Why else would they pay so much?” he asked, giving the flyer a suspicious look.

“So?  I need, like, two hundred bucks to get the kind and amount of spray paint I need.  I’d only have to watch the bratty kid for four nights and I’d be good.  I can set her up in front of a movie she really likes, make her some mac and cheese for dinner, and it’ll be all good.”

“I think you’re underestimating kids, Re.  You have met Patton and Logan, right?”

Patton and Logan were Virgil’s little brothers, and Remus honestly wasn’t sure why he was bringing them up, because they were both absolute sweethearts.  Sure, Logan could sometimes get a chip on his shoulder about being too old for a babysitter, and Patton could be a bit of a crybaby sometimes, but otherwise Remus never minded when Virgil brought his friends along for a hangout.  Especially when Patton teased Roman about liking Virgil, and Remus got to watch him go bright red with embarrassment.

Well okay, granted, Logan had been much more insufferable when he was Patton’s age.  But Patton was still a sweetheart.

“I’m telling you, I’ve got this,” he said, waving Roman’s concerns off.  “It’s just one little girl, anyway.  How hard could it be?”

This was the attitude Remus took with him when going to the Ekans house the following night.  The parents sent him the address, and the mom was waiting outside.

“Hi, Mrs. Ekans,” Remus said, putting on his ‘I am talking to an adult that I respect’ voice.  “I’m Remus.”

“Yes, hello dear,” she said.  “I was so happy to get your call.  It can be rather hard to find a babysitter to deal with Janice, what with how she can get with all her silly fantasies.”

Remus tipped his head in confusion.  “Silly fantasies?”

“Oh, I’m sure she’ll tell you all about it.  You don’t need to indulge her, dear, we’ve told her many times that no one who watches her will be doing so.  But anyway, here’s ten dollars for a tip, we ordered a pizza, the delivery man should be here any minute, so you won’t have to worry about dinner.”

“Thanks,” Remus said, taking the money and putting it in his pocket to grab when the delivery person showed up.

The door opened behind the two of them and a man came out, adjusting a tie.  Behind him, a girl in a sparkly pink dress stood in the doorway, who could only be Janice.

“Oh, good,” the man said when he noticed Remus.  “Janice, your babysitter’s here, be good for him, okay?”  He turned to Remus.  “Bedtime is at 8, pizza’s on the way, otherwise you should be good to go.”

“Thanks,” Remus said again, heading past him and into the house.  They both waved at Janice as they left, who notably did not wave back.

As soon as the car drove off, Remus shut the door and turned to face Janice.  “Well, sweetheart—” he started.

“First of all,” Janice snapped, sounding so furious that it took Remus aback.  He had barely even said anything yet.  “I have rules.”

Remus raised an eyebrow.  “Isn’t that kind of my job?”

“No!” Janice screamed, stamping her foot.  “You are here for me, that means I’m the boss!  First of all, don’t ever call me sweetheart.  And I am going into my room to change into my real clothes, and you aren’t going to stop me!”

Remus’ brow furrowed.  “What’s wrong with the clothes you have on now?” he asked.

“Dresses are for girls,” Janice snapped, voice filled with way more vitriol than Remus expected.  “I’m a boy.  And you are not going to take away the only chance I get to wear my real clothes!”  And, like that decided that, he turned and stormed away towards the back of the house and where his room no doubt was.

Remus looked after the kid, blinking for a second as he tried to process everything that had just happened.  So that’s what Mrs. Ekans meant by silly fantasies.

Well, fuck, he was way out of his depth with shit like this.

The kid came out of the hallway a couple minutes later wearing a t-shirt and shorts.  And while the t-shirt was still bright pink, he at least looked a little more comfortable than he had in a dress.

“Okay, J— kid,” Remus said.  “So let me see if I’ve got this right.  You say you’re a boy?”

“Yes,” the kid snapped.  “And you don’t get to say otherwise, you got it?”

“Hey, understood,” Remus said, holding his hands up.  “Can I just ask a question?”

The kid narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms.  “What?”

“Do you want me to still use the name your parents gave me, or do you want me to call you something else?”

The kid seemed to grow even more suspicious at that question.  “Mom didn’t tell you not to indulge my silly fantasies?”

“Doesn’t seem to me like there’s anything silly about it,” Remus said with a shrug.  “I was just wondering if you had a different name picked out.”

The kid’s eyes widened slightly, though not enough to stop looking suspicious.  “You can do that?”

“Of course you can,” Remus said, taking a couple steps forward and kneeling down in front of the kid.  “I have a friend named Virgil who changed his name.  He used to be called Jacob, but he hated that name.  He thought it was boring.”

“He was right,” the kid said instantly.  Remus laughed.

The kid seemed to think for a minute.  “I don’t know,” he said finally.  “I didn’t know you could do that.”

“Do you want me to use the name your parents gave me, then?”

“No,” the kid snapped instantly, looking angry again.

“Okay.  Got it.  For now, I’ll just call you kid.  How’s that?”

The kid seemed to consider that for a minute, then nodded.  “Okay.”

Remus smiled.  “Okay.  So your parents said that a pizza delivery person should be here soon.  Do you want to watch a movie while we eat?”

“No,” the kid snapped.  “Movies are stupid.”

Remus blinked.  “Okay.  What do you want to do while we eat?”

“I want to sit in silence and do nothing!” the kid snapped.

Remus blinked again.  “Uh, I’m not so sure that would be very fun.”

“You’re not fun anyway!” the kid screamed.

Remus was honestly a little offended.  How dare this child say he wasn’t fun?  He could be super fun!  Before he could reply to correct this wildly false statement, the doorbell rang.

Remus stood up and headed over to the door, and opened it to see, as expected, the pizza delivery person.

“Thanks,” Remus said, taking the pizza and pulling out the ten dollar bill Mrs. Ekans had left him.  He handed it to the delivery person, who thanked him and headed back towards the car parked out front.  Remus shut the door and carried the pizza over to the table, and the kid came over after him and grabbed one of the plates that had been left out on the counter.

“Give me two pieces,” he said, holding the plate out to Remus.

“Let’s start with one,” Remus said, taking the plate.

“No!” the kid snapped.  “I want two!”

“Kid, I’m gonna start you with one,” Remus said, taking a piece of pizza and putting it on the plate.

“No!” the kid snapped again.  “I want two pieces!  I’m hungry, are you trying to tell me I shouldn’t eat until I’m full?  That can have harmful consequences!”

Remus took a deep breath.  “I am going to start you with one.  If you want another piece after you finish that one, I will happily give you one.”

“I want two right now!” the kid screamed, stamping his foot.

Remus squeezed his eyes shut.  “Nope,” he said, handing the kid the plate.

The kid narrowed his eyes, and Remus had a second to wonder if eight year olds still threw temper tantrums, when instead the kid shot Remus a glare that could kill and stomped into the other room and sat down on the couch.

Remus took a piece of pizza and put it on the plate.  This was about as bad as it was going to get, right?

…

“Kid, you need to go to bed,” Remus said, leaning against the door frame, looking at the kid who was sitting resolutely and reading through a book.

“Why should I?  Bedtime is a social construct.”

“Oh my god,” Remus groaned, looking up at the ceiling.  This had been a recurring theme for most of the night.  The kid’s father was apparently a philosophy nerd, and the kid listened in on a lot of his conversations about the subject with his wife, and had turned that into a belief that all of society was a construct and he could do whatever he wanted.  He was brilliant for an eight year old.  And it was as annoying as all fuck.

“Look,” Remus said.  “If you go to bed now, next time I come, I’ll bring you a surprise.”

“What kind of surprise?” the kid asked, narrowing his eyes.  “How could any surprise you give me be worth it?”

“Well, if you don’t go to bed now, you’ll never know,” Remus pointed out.

The kid seemed to know exactly what Remus was doing with that, but he also finally put the book aside and laid his head down on his pillow.  Remus flicked off the lights and shut the door, and finally let out a breath.

He made his way back out to the living room, put the remaining pizza in the fridge, and then collapsed on the couch.

“Children are exhausting,” he said to no one.

By the time the kid’s parents got back Remus was ready to go home and sleep for a week and a half.  But that was a feeling that faded as soon as Mr. Ekans walked through the door and opened his mouth.

“How was she?” he asked, putting the car keys on a hook by the wall.  “She didn’t give you too much trouble, did she?”

Remus had to fight to keep from grinding his teeth.  “Fine,” he said, keeping his voice as pleasant as he could.  “The flyer said I should come back Saturday next, right?”

“Yes,” Mrs. Ekans said, pulling out her wallet and thumbing out the sixty dollars in cash.  She handed it over, and Remus took it.  “I’m glad things went well.  Janice has been known to drive away a few sitters in the past.”

I can’t imagine why.

Remus got out of the house as quickly as he could.  He had some thinking to do, and he wasn’t going to do it in front of a couple of transphobic pieces of shit.

…

By the time Saturday arrived Remus had a battle plan.  Roman had been amused when Remus had described the first night as “frustrating,” but had been surprised when Remus had been determined to go back.  Remus left out most of the details that weren’t his to share, though he imagined Roman must have figured something was up when he spent most of the week researching boy names and hairstyles.

When he got to the Ekans house next time, the kid looked surprised to see him, and Remus couldn’t say he blamed him.  He tried to smile and nod whenever possible, as hopefully it would get the kid’s parents out the door faster.  The second they left Remus took off the backpack he’d brought and moved over to sit on the couch.  “Hey, kid, c’mere.”

“No.  Why?”

“I’ve got something for ya.  I promised you a surprise if you went to bed, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, but I turned the lamp on again as soon as you left the room.”

Remus sighed.  “Of course you did.  Come here anyway.”

The kid looked curious, and given that it was one of the few times he hadn’t been glaring at him, Remus would take it as a good sign.

“So I did some research these past couple days,” Remus said, starting with the notebook.  “And I found some names you might like.”

“Wait, what?” the kid sat on the couch and took the notebook from him.  “What do you mean you looked at names for me?”

“Well, you said you didn’t know what you wanted your name to be.  I don’t really want to call you ‘kid’ forever.  If you don’t like any of these we can keep looking, though.”

The kid turned and stared at him.  “But I was mean to you.”

“You’re the kid I’m babysitting,” Remus said, smirking at him.  “I think I can take it.  Besides, what does that have to do with your name?”

“Why are you being nice to me if I was mean to you?”

“Being nice and basic human decency are two different things.  You can be the snottiest kid in the world, that doesn’t mean I’m going to start treating you like a girl.”

The kid’s eyes widened.  “Really?”

“Really.  You say you’re a boy, I believe you, and I’ll treat you as such, okay?”

To Remus’ surprise, the kid’s eyes welled up with tears.

“Oh shit, don’t cry.  Hang on—”

The kid threw himself at Remus’ and buried his head in his side.  Remus awkwardly patted him on the back and waited until the kid stopped crying, after which he pulled back and wiped at his eyes, still sniffling.  “Mommy always says I shouldn’t make people indulge me,” he whispered.

“I’m not indulging anything,” Remus said.  “This is what you said you want, and it should be respected.  If you change your mind later, that’s fine too.  But even if you do, I’m not going to treat you in any way that makes you miserable in the meantime.”

The kid sniffed again and wiped at his eyes.  He looked like he didn’t know what to say, which was fair.

After a moment, he picked up the notebook and started looking at the names, sometimes pointing at one he didn’t know and asking Remus to read it.  He stopped at one on page three.

“You just wrote Janice,” he said.  “I thought you said I didn’t have to use that name.”

“J-a-n-u-s is a masculine spelling,” Remus said.  “I just figured if you liked the way your name sounded but didn’t like that it was associated with being a girl, that was an option.”

The kid looked at it for a while longer.  “You could use this one around my parents,” he said.

“Technically, yes,” Remus said.

The kid turned and looked at him.  “Where does Janus come from?”

“It’s the name of a Roman god,” Remus said.  “He’s the god of doors, gates, and beginnings.  He has two faces.”

The kid started to grin.  “I could be named after a god?”

“If that’s what you want.”

He started nodding.  “I like that.  I like that a lot.  And it could be like lying to my parents.  They’re forcing me to lie to everyone else, but this way I get to lie to them.”

Remus started to smile too.  “Yeah?  You think that’s the one?”

“Definitely.  And besides, if I don’t like later it I can change it again, right?”

“Of course you can.”

Janus beamed at him.  “Yeah.  That’s the one.”

“Awesome,” Remus said, leaning over and ruffling his hair.  “Now, onto the second manner of business.”

“There’s more?”

“Yep.” Remus reached into his bag and pulled out a hairbrush and ponytail holders.  “So I’m not going to cut your hair without your parent’s permission or I’d get fired.  But I have a couple ways I can deal with your hair as it is right now if you want to.”

Janus nodded quickly, and turned around so Remus could get to his hair more easily,  “So we could put it up in a bun so it’s out of your face, or I could move the curls further behind your head so it looks more like a style than just you having longer curly hair.”

“What would a style look like?” Janus asked.

“Alright, give me a sec,” Remus said.  He grabbed the bobby pins he’d borrowed from his mother and used them to tuck Janus’ curls further behind his head.  He turned Janus around after a moment and brushed some of the curls across his forehead so they looked more like bangs.

“Alright,” he said, sitting back.  “Here, check that out.”  He pulled out the mirror he brought with him, and handed it to Janus.

His eyes widened as he looked in it.  “Woah.  You did this with my hair?”

“Mm-hmm,” Remus said.  “You like it?”

Janus grinned at him again and nodded.  Then his gaze turned curious.  “Why are you doing all this?”

“I already told you—”

“No, I mean… Mommy says boys and girls can’t change who they are.  She says I’m a girl no matter what I do.”

“Bah,” Remus said, waving the concept away.  “Gender is a social construct.”

Janus snorted.

“You laugh, but it’s true.  Have you ever heard the term ‘transgender’ before?”

Janus shook his head.

“It’s a term people can use to describe themselves when their gender doesn’t match the one they were born as.  Plenty of people describe themselves that way.  I’m friends with a couple on the internet.”

Janus looked fascinated, and almost painfully hopeful.  “Not just me?”

“Definitely not just you.”

Janus sat back, seeming to take a minute to process that.  “Can you show me?” he asked, looking back up at Remus.

And so they spent most of the day on Remus’ phone looking at transgender people and stories and definitions.  Remus made sure to steer clear of any discourse or transphobia.  Janus had enough to deal with already without having to learn about that on a broad scale yet.

By the time Janus’ parents texted Remus saying they were on their way back, they’d been there for hours.

“Okay,” Remus said, setting the phone aside.  “I should probably take your hair down now.”

Janus sighed, even though he seemed to have expected that.  “Okay,” he mumbled.

“We can put it back up next time I come, okay?” Remus said.

Janus nodded.  “Yeah, we fucking better.”

Remus coughed in surprise.  “Wha— where did you learn that word?”

Janus grinned at him.  “You’ll never fucking know.”

Remus laughed despite himself.  Okay, so maybe this kid wasn’t so terrible.

…

Things went smoother for the last two times Remus had signed up to babysit him.  Janus had so obviously needed some kind of positive role model, because the second Remus reassured him that he believed him and would treat him as a boy, Janus got loads easier to handle.  At the end of the third time Remus babysat for him, Janus looking at him very seriously and told him that he was clearly one of those rare smart adults.

“Well, technically I’m a teenager,” Remus admitted.

Janus nodded.  “Oh.  That explains it.”

Remus blinked at him.  Well, this kid was definitely going to turn into even more of a nightmare as he got older.

Roman seemed more than a little surprised that Remus hit it off with the kid so well, and when Remus eventually mentioned it to Virgil, he got the same result.  But Remus would just shrug and say something generic along the lines of “We just clicked, I guess.”

He found himself actually looking forward to the last time he was supposed to babysit, which unfortunately came with a realization that this would be the last time he babysat for Janus.  The time passed much too quickly, and Remus, at the end of the night, was not looking forward to leaving.

So for once, an interaction from Janus’ parents brought a positive consequence.

“You just make Janice so happy,” Mrs. Ekans said.  “And that’s not really something that happens with her very often.”

I can’t imagine why.

“I know this wasn’t supposed to be a long term thing, but if you would be willing to become her regular babysitter, we’ll pay you eighty a night instead of sixty.”

Well, Remus probably would have agreed even without the pay raise, especially after he noticed Janus watching hopefully from the hallway, but the extra twenty a night didn’t hurt either.  In the end, after what was basically the opposite of a long and hard decision, Remus agreed, and was now going to spend his Saturdays (and many week nights) watching a kid that he was quickly growing to care for.

Janus plopped himself down on the couch next to Remus a second after he showed up next time, with his lip wobbling and sniffling in a way that immediately made Remus nervous.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked.

“Do you only like me because my parents pay you?” Janus asked.

“What?  Of course not, I love hanging out with you,” Remus said, relieved he was actually telling the truth.

Janus brightened immediately.  “Cool!  So if we’re actually friends does that mean you can take me out for ice cream?”

Remus blinked at him for a couple seconds, trying to figure out how in the hell he just got played by an eight year old.  Regardless, they ended up at an ice cream parlor that day.

There came times Virgil had to watch his little brothers too, and Virgil must have told them about Janus, because one day Virgil texted him asking if they could maybe set up a playdate with the little girl he babysat.  Remus winced, but said he’d bring it up next time he was there.

“Their names are Patton and Logan,” he said to Janus, who was looking up at him over the the drawing he was making.  He’d become insistent on drawing better than Remus ever since he’d shown him one of his pieces.  “They’re Virgil’s little brothers.  They want to meet you.”

Janus bit his lip.  “Do I have to pretend to be a girl around them?”

“Kid, that is entirely up to you,” Remus said.  “I haven’t told them yet because you haven’t given me permission.  I can tell you they won’t mind, if you’re worried about that.”

Janus gave that a moment of thought.  “Okay.  You can tell them I’m a boy.  If you’re really sure they won’t mind.”

“I’m sure.”

Janus nodded.  “Okay.  Can they not come here though?”

“I don’t think we picked a place to go yet.  But we could go to a park, or possibly Virgil's house.  We’d have to run it by everyone’s parents.”

“Ugh.  Well that’s not gonna work out then,” Janus said, turning back to his drawing.  “My parents never want me to do anything that makes me happy.”

Remus felt his heart crack at that.  He didn’t know how to explain to the kid the difference between his parents being transphobic and his parents never wanting him to be happy.  He supposed the end result was the same either way.  But Remus couldn’t imagine them having an issue with Janus meeting some other kids.  He was apparently pretty lonely.

“Give it a chance,” he said eventually.  “They could surprise you.”

Janus gave him a look of such doubt that Remus considered, not for the first time, murdering Janus’ parents and hiding their transphobic asses out in the shed.

Luckily, Remus was at least right in Janus’ parents wanting him to meet new kids.  And he was of course also right about none of his friends having a problem with Janus being trans, although they seemed sad for the kid when they learned what his parents were like.  Good.  Remus would have lost respect for them if they didn’t.

They ended up meeting over at Virgil’s house, which was good, because Remus had a sneaking suspicion Janus’ parents would not have approved of Patton, and his love for all things pink and/or sparkly.  They walked through the front door and saw Virgil and Roman sitting on the couch chatting as Logan was doing a puzzle nearby.  Patton was sitting next to him, coloring in a coloring book and wearing a bright pink sparkly dress similar to the one Remus had met Janus in.  Janus’ eyes got really big when he saw Patton, and he hid behind Remus’ leg.

“I thought you said Patton was a boy,” he whispered.

“He is,” Remus replied.  “Patton likes wearing pink sparkly dresses, but that doesn’t make him any less of a boy.”

Virgil glanced up and waved.  “Hey, Remus.  Guys, Remus and Janus are here.”

Patton and Logan both glanced up, and then Patton hopped up and ran across the room.  “Hi!” he said, sticking out his hand.  “I’m Patton!  Virgil says you’re eight just like me!”

Janus slowly stepped out from behind Remus’ leg and shook Patton’s hand.  “Hi,” he said.  “I’m Janus.  J-a-n-u-s.  It’s the boy spelling.  Because I’m a boy.”

Patton grinned at him.  “Yeah, Remus told us!  I think that’s really cool!  Do you want to come color with me?”

It was clear Janus didn’t know quite what to do with that, but he nodded anyway, and Patton took his hand and dragged him over to where he’d been coloring.  Remus noted Logan saying hi as he did so, and including a note about how he was ten and too old for a babysitter.  Remus walked over to sit on the couch next to Virgil and Roman.

“That went about like I’d expected,” he said, nodding at Patton.

Virgil snorted.  “Yeah, pretty much,” he agreed, leaning back and ending up partly against Roman.  Remus would have to tease him about how bright red his face got later.

Overall, the afternoon was a success.  Janus and Patton got along very well, and they made a deal that next time, Janus would bring a sparkly dress and trade it for some of Patton’s more boyish clothes.  Janus talked the whole drive home about how much he liked Patton.

“Even though he could be a little less bouncy,” Janus said.  “He’s kind of a lot.”

“I get that,” Remus said.  “Patton is a really excitable kid.  He’ll mellow out the longer you know him.”

Janus nodded.  “Good,” he said, and Remus laughed.

Just like Remus had expected, Janus’ parents were glad to see him happy from hanging out with other kids.  Which unfortunately also meant they likely had no idea what had actually been happening at the playdate.  It was definitely worth it, though.  Janus gave Remus a hug, a beaming smile, and said he would see him on Saturday, before running off to his room still smiling.

Remus texted Virgil that they would have to do so again sometime soon.

…

Remus arrived on time Saturday, but Mr. and Mrs. Ekans were already rushing out the door, barely having time to hand Remus money for dinner, and saying something about getting something to cheer Janus up before they ran out their car and drove off.

Remus blinked as he watched them drive off, before processing the fact that they’d said something about cheering Janus up.  He headed inside, looking around and hoping to find him.

“Janus?” he called, but no one responded.  He started looking around the living room and found no one, there wasn’t anyone in the kitchen, not even the cabinets, and Remus checked in all their usual hide and seek places, but didn’t find anything.

“Janus?” he called, sticking his head into his room.  There still wasn’t anyone obviously in there, but just as Remus was about to leave he heard sniffing that sounded like it was coming from under the bed.

He shut the door quietly behind him and pulled up the blankets, and there was Janus, curled into a ball.

“Kiddo?” he asked quietly.

“Adults are stupid,” Janus said.  “They don’t understand anything.”

“As a seventeen year old I wholeheartedly agree,” Remus said, trying to get a chuckle or a smile, but not succeeding.  “Are we talking about something specific?”

“They just don’t understand,” Janus said, tucking his head into his knees.  “No matter how many times I explain it to them they don’t get it.  I don’t want to be a girl, Remus.  I mean, am I just explaining it wrong?  If I explain it enough times they have to understand, right?”  He sniffed.  “I just have to explain it a few more times, right?”

“Oh, kiddo,” Remus murmured, reaching a hand under the bed.  Janus grabbed it and let Remus help him out before burying his head in his chest.

“I thought they were supposed to love me,” Janus whispered.  “Isn’t that what parents are supposed to do?”

“They do love you,” Remus tried to reassure, because he’d seen some proof of that.  He’d seen the way they smiled when they saw Janus happy.  They’d thanked him so many times, saying they were unsure of how he did it.

“No.  They love J-a-n-i-c-e.  They love the little girl they think they have.  But that’s not who I am.”  Janus looked up at him, tears pouring down his face.  “Remus, why do they hate who I am?”

Remus didn’t have any good reply to that.  He just gently pulled Janus back to his chest and rubbed his back.  He wasn’t surprised when that just made Janus cry harder, but he didn’t know what else to do.

Janus pulled back and looked up at him after a second.  “Remus?”

“Yeah?”

“Would you still like me if I was a girl?”

Remus had no idea what that question entailed.  He nodded.

“And you like me even though I’m not?”

“Of course I do.”

“What if—” Janus sniffed.  “What if I end up liking boys too or something?  That would be even harder to explain.”

“I like boys,” Remus said instantly.

Janus sniffed again.  “You do?”

Remus nodded.  “Kid, you know what my mom said when I asked her about this stuff?”

“What?”

“She said love should never be conditional.”

“What does conditional mean?”

“It means, Janus,” Remus said, shifting so Janus could sit more comfortably on his lap.  “That you could be trans, cis, gay, straight, a weird half snake man who wears a really stupid hat—”

Janus finally laughed a little at that.

“And if you ask me that question, the answer will always be ‘I love you,’ over and over.”

Janus blinked a couple times.  “You mean you like me?”

“Nope.  I mean I love you, kid.  No matter what.”

Janus’ eyes got big, and tears welled up in them again.  “Over and over?”

“Over and over,” Remus agreed.

Janus sniffed again, and leaned his head into Remus’ chest again.  Remus wrapped his arms around him.  “I am so sorry your parents can’t see what an amazing kid you are just as you are,” he murmured.

“Yeah,” Janus said.  “They just don’t understand.  They’re stupid adults.  Adults don’t understand anything.”

Remus held Janus tighter.  “Yeah,” he agreed.  “Adults don’t understand anything.”

…

Over the next couple months, Janus and Patton ended up trading half their wardrobe.  Janus often had a monster truck or dinosaur shirt on within ten minutes of Remus coming over, though he would admit to Remus that those weren’t really his favorite.  He said he liked the one with the cartoon snake on it.  Remus spent the day going over shirts with more realistic snakes on them that Janus liked.  In the end they purchased a couple that Remus said he would keep at his house for days that Janus came over there.

They also spent quite a few days at the park with Patton and Logan, sometimes with Virgil, sometimes with Virgil’s mom or dad.  They felt bad about Janus’ situation too, and Remus could tell they wished they could be doing more.  But Janus wasn’t being abused or neglected, and transphobic parents weren’t a legal reason that someone could be removed from a home.  Remus was really doing about all he could for him.  At least it seemed to be making Janus happier than he was.  Sometimes, Janus told Remus everything he would do once he was too old for his parents to stop him.  Fifteen, he said.  When he was fifteen he would get a haircut.  And Remus would come, right?

Remus would consider for a moment that he’d probably be in college at that point, but he couldn’t imagine leaving this kid to deal with his parents alone, no matter how old they both got, so the conversation always ended with Remus promising that he’d be there when Janus got his first real haircut at fifteen.

There were, of course, things to teach Janus about how to rebel against all of society, though the kid already had an excellent head start with all the philosophy he knew.  Remus took him spray painting one time, and Janus sprayed all of curse words he knew on the wall.  Remus couldn’t be prouder.  They’d shoplifted together a couple times too.  Remus made sure Janus understood that you couldn’t shoplift from a small business that would actually get hurt by it.  Only big chains like Walmart.  And no stealing in a way that would hurt the employees.  Janus seemed to accept all of this easily.  “It’s about eating the rich,” he said, nodding firmly.  “Not hurting people who are already struggling.”

“You’ve got it,” Remus said with a proud smile.

But one of his favorite parts of being with Janus, after he spent one time at the park with Roman and Virgil, was how easily the kid picked up on how in love the two were.

“We have to do something about it,” Janus insisted.  “They’re wasting time!  They don’t have mean parents to worry about, why are they wasting time being scared?”

“I ask them that question all the damn time,” Remus said with a smirk.

“Okay,” Janus said, biting his lip as he started thinking.  “We’re gonna come up with a plan.”

“Oh, are we?  What are we doing?”

“I don’t know yet.  Come help me.”

They spent the rest of that afternoon coming up with their plan, and planned to enact it that Saturday.  They ended up at the ice cream parlor along with Patton and Logan, who were also in on the plan.  Janus was there with Roman and Remus, and Patton and Logan were there with Virgil.  The two in question were not aware that the other group was there.  So, after a couple minutes, Janus loudly remarked to Roman that Patton was there, and could they go say hi.

“You know,” Janus said before Roman could reply.  “I’m going to marry Patton one day.”

Roman smiled, his heart no doubt melting in the same way that Remus’ had when Janus had first told him this.  “Are you?” Roman asked, taking a bite of his ice cream.

Janus nodded.  “And he can wear a wedding dress, because he likes wearing dresses, and I can wear the tuxedo because I don’t like dresses, and you and Virgil can be the best men because it would be cool to have another married couple as the best men.”

Roman started coughing, and Remus patted him casually on the back as he struggled to stop turning bright red.  “What— Virgil and I aren’t married!” Roman exclaimed.

Janus gasped.  “What?  Why not?  When are you going to propose?”

“I— Janus, we’re not dating,” Roman said, turning more into a tomato by the second.

“What?” Janus said, sounding for all the life of him like he was heartbroken.  “You have to ask him out then!”

“Janus—”

“Roman, it could mess up Patton and I’s whole wedding!  You’re gonna mess up our wedding?”  His lip wobbled in a way Remus could tell was fake three months ago, but Roman was clearly not there yet.

“I— look, kiddo, I do like Virgil, but—”

“Then go on!  Time’s ticking, you have to get married before Patton and I do!” Janus called, jumping up and pulling Roman up out of his chair.  “Go on, go on, go on!”

Roman was left with not much of a choice at that point, and he headed over towards the booth across the parlor, where an equally red-faced Virgil had appeared to have been having a similar conversation.  Remus and Janus both followed him over.  There was no way they were missing this.

Virgil stood up quickly when Roman got there, and they both started stammering something that was barely coherent, but in the end, Roman managed to get out something about dinner on Friday, and Virgil managed to nod.

All of the kids, and Remus cause what the hell, started to cheer.

“Look at that, we finally got your heads out of your asses!” Remus called, slapping Roman on the back, who smacked him on the arm right back.

“You all planned this, didn’t you?” Virgil asked, looking too embarrassed to be angry, though Remus had no doubt that would come later.

“Maybe,” Remus said, sliding into the booth after Janus, who was now sitting next to Patton.

“We correctly deduced you would never do anything yourselves,” Logan said with a smile from Patton's other side.

“Janus and I are still getting married one day though,” Patton said, completely seriously.

“Yes,” Janus said, nodding along.  “And you two will be our best men.”

“Okay, slow down,” Roman said.  “That’s taking things a little fast.”

“I think they figured they’d make up for all the time you two wasted,” Remus said with a grin.

“I’m going to kill you later,” Roman said.

“No, please, think of my children,” Remus said.

“What children?”

“Me!” Janus exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air.  Remus laughed and pulled him to his side, giving him a noogie.

As the conversation started to head back into a normal direction, Janus nudged Remus in the side.  Remus glanced over.

“Sorry I made the children joke,” Janus said quietly.

“Oh, don’t be sorry.  It’s true is what it is,” Remus said, ruffling his hair again.  “I have adopted you.  You can never get rid of me.”

Janus started smiling.  “Promise?”

“Promise,” Remus said.  “You know why?”

“‘Cause you love me over and over?”

“Because I love you over and over,” Remus said, giving Janus a quick side hug.  “You nailed it, my little man.”

“Little man,” Janus said quietly, though he was still smiling really big, and Remus smiled back.  “Little man.  Yeah.”

[cats-pyjamas]

LOGICALITY PLSSSS

❥ ask / @sunflower-avo-tea

send me a ship and i’ll give my opinion on it!!

*kicks down door*

IN THIS ESSAY I WILL-

okay so i honestly don’t even know where to start with this because I just got a lotta feelings and I don’t know how to write them all down and I’m so sorry that this is so ramble-y and incoherent but-

basically logicality is like. my ultimate comfort ship?? I absolute adore the ‘stoic nerd and soft cinnamon roll’ trope and you can pry it out of my cold dead hands-

the fact that they’re complete opposites yet can see the value in the other and their contributions (even if they argue and it takes a while for them to realise it in some situations) and admit when they’re wrong in order to validate the other like I just HHHH even the way they look at each other? like I’m probably just overthinking it way too much but like they’ll just glance at each other from across the room with genuine care and it just looks like they always look for the other’s validation in what they’re saying (more so on Patton’s end) because they want the other’s approval and consider their opinion important and I just-

ALSO THE PUNS ??? the way logan tries to hide that side of him because he wants to desperately be taken seriously but there’s moments when he allows himself to indulge in it and he just looks so happy?? like the 12 days of christmas song, when he was trying not to laugh at patton changing the lyrics and then started doing it with him, it was like he was allowing Patton to help him break down the facade a bit and I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS

they’re also both such dads in different ways that i think really complement each other- logan being the practical one who focuses on reviewing facts and using logical reasoning in order to make the best decisions to care for yourself and patton being bubbly and fun and putting the focus on happiness just makes me...really happy like. you can see it in their interactions with virgil and thomas- logan has this sort of calmness about him where he’s able to be observant and notice when something’s wrong, and also provide comfort in his own way with clarity and understanding and reassurance. patton on the other hand is a ball of energy and uses lots of affirmation, homemade gifts, and jokes to communicate care in a much more sentimental way and i just love the possibilities of how they can play off each other and help to balance the other out

there’s also just all these moments that i’m gonna list here because i think about them all the time and they make me so happy and i have so much to say-:

* logan almost calling patton a genius in learning new things (!!)- “patton you’re-! ...good. that was...helpful.”

* patton cheering logan on while he raps

* him also giving patton all the credit for helping to figure out how to deal with procrastination despite it probably being a hit to his own pride- “and it’s all thanks to a brilliant deduction- from watson”

* ALSO “elementary my dear daddy- no” AND IT SAYING ‘(ship)’ IN THE CAPTIONS??????

* logan being flustered/impressed by patton (janus) knowing about kant and philosophy, and also by him saying ‘oh good logan-everyone’s favourite character!!’ because he thought it was patton saying it and patton would be sincere about something like that

* “morality? what are we doing wrong?” - logan valuing their differences and realising that patton is important

* PATTON CALLING LOGAN HIS HERO??? AND LOGAN’S “WE GET IT. YOU’RE ADORABLE” I LOSE MY MIND EVERY TIME LIKE,,, patton literally admires logan and everything he does so much and thinks he’s so cool and I ADORE THIS

* matching logos!!!!!

* matching onesies!!!!!

* the entire head vs heart episode where they can’t grasp why thomas would ever imply that they argue / don’t get along because thomas don’t you get it we’re married?????

* their names matching- patton from ‘pathos’ and logan from ‘logos’

* THE ENTIRETY OF MOVING ON??????? logan’s face when it’s clear patton is hurt by what he’s saying/tells him to stop !!

* also him helping patton open up about his feelings through thomas (“I’m your happy pappy patton, just a fun loving father figure figment-!” “falsehood”) because he never really left and knew the others still needed him

* also him giving up his own pride and admitting he’s wrong!! and he creates a thoughtful gift for patton that he knows he’ll love as an apology even if he thinks it’s childish (and it’s a direct callback to his own behaviour towards patton and contribution towards him hiding his feelings which is kind of represented by the fact that he wouldn’t let him wear his cat onesie despite patton saying his old cardigan was getting him down, and it’s logan’s own way of telling him that he doesn’t have to let his emotions weigh him down anymore)

* also logan short circuiting with “this is just too precious to process-“

* also logan checking up on him and smiling when he seems to be doing well: “patton, how are you today?”/“well, that is very good to hear.” also patton looking at him when he talks about the thought of seeing the others helping him leave his room!!

* also patton making a pun that logan’s cool and that “you’re my biggest fan!!” (and logan doesn’t deny it)

* logan having patton help him with his jam advert even though he’s probably the least scientifically minded person among the sides-

* patton looking for logan’s approval when he says a word in spanish and wanting him to be proud of him - “did I make you proud logan?? you proud of me??”

* patton just always seems particularly excited to see logan and it makes me so happy

* THE FAM-ILY CARD WHERE PATTON DREW THEM LINKING ARMS AND SMILING???

* “with you i’m always home”- this is getting way too long so I won’t even GO into this one but FUCK they’re gay

* “yeah but did you see logan’s face?” - logan apparently seeming upset by janus implying patton didn’t want him there, and also patton being upset at the implication/by roman finding it funny

* the instagram story where patton calls logan “the good looking one”

* THE INCORRECT QUOTES?? TELL ME THEY WERENT ON A DATE WHEN THEY WERE GOING OUT TO A RESTAURANT JUST THE TWO OF THEM?? also logan literally assuming the role of a getaway driver no questions asked when patton steals a whole ass table because he thinks that’s what logan wants him to do?? be gay do crime

* logan helping patton during intrusive thoughts by being firm yet understanding and patton listening to him and calling him amazing and oh my god my heart-

* (also logan ordering a birthday cake for patton!!!)

i won’t go on any longer because this is already a mess but...just please oh my god @ everyone please please please talk to me about logicality anytime because I just adore everything about them and I just HHH

tldr: patton and logan please adopt me

[hannahdra-ws]

and now (you’re hyper paranoid)

Summary: 

hypochondria; n; abnormal anxiety about one's health, especially with an unwarranted fear that one has a serious disease.

(or: Janus has a very bad time.)

Romantic, established dukeceit

TWs: hypochondria, covid-19, panic attacks, unspecified eating disorder, coughing, crying

----------

Through the uneasy feeling, Janus knew he was being a little unrealistic.

He's perfectly healthy, he rarely gets sick. He hasn't even had the flu before. He's double vaccinated, and he wears his mask everywhere. He's certainly never gotten food poisoning before.

So he doesn't know why he's freaking out so much.

read on ao3

Janus stared at the plate in front of him, heart thumping so loudly he was almost sure the others at the table could hear it. It wasn't anything major, it was just meatloaf with a side of mashed potatoes and corn, and Patton and Logan (mostly Logan) spent a lot of time on it, so there's no reason he shouldn't eat it.

The others are enjoying it too, bantering and joking across the table without a care in the world. Roman was basically sitting in Logan's lap, and Four Idiots (as Janus and Remus dubbed them as) kept sending each other equally besotted expressions. Remus was next to him, gesturing animatedly while he talked with one hand and the other hand tightly gripped in Janus's own.

He felt off kilter and shaky, watching everyone eat their food. Janus knows he should be eating too, and logically he knows that there is a very small chance of him getting food poisoning. But that doesn't make the debilitating anxiety welling up inside him go away.

Oh God, he's going to get sick, somethings wrong with the meat he'll get sick and vo-

Ugh. Virgil's the one that has the anxiety problem, not him. Why did his brother have to give him his mental illness? Bitch.

Suddenly, a loud noise happened, forcefully dragging Janus out of his mind. It was Roman, coughing loudly. He kept hacking, and hacking, and Janus abruptly felt faint. 

The others were watching with concern, and Logan was patting Roman on the back to get whatever had lodged in his throat out. Eventually, he did clear his airways, after a long breath in and a particularly violent cough. 

Patton inquired if he was okay, and Roman nodded, face red and tears streaming down his face from coughing so much. "Sorry, I choked." His voice was scratchy from coughing. But he was smiling, and that should have been an indicator that he was okay, he just choked, he's fine-

Remus made some comment, and Virgil flipped him off while still looking worriedly in Roman's direction, but Janus suddenly couldn't hear through the ringing in his ears. Remus must have noticed either the way he abruptly went still, or the fact that he had barely eaten anything, because he squeezed his hand in question. Janus abruptly stood up from the table, almost knocking his chair down in the process.

Remus frowned, a small, confused thing, "Jaybird? You alright?"

"I'm sorry, if you'll excuse me," Janus managed to choke out, before quickly ripping his hand from Remus's and stumbling away, ignoring the protests and calls from the table behind him. 

He hopes no one noticed that he didn't finish his meal.

----

Janus stumbled to his room, heart beating out of his chest, thump, thump, thump. He quickly locked the door and slid his back down to the floor, digging his gloved hands in his hair and pulling.

Roman's dry hacking wouldn't leave his head, oh God he sounded sick, but he's not he just choked he's fine, he doesn't have covid none of you do you're all vaccinated, fuck-

Janus was acutely aware that he was crying, now, his chest tight and his throat sore from the tears. He was trembling, small and terrified against the back of his door, and he couldn't stop thinking.

Janus had to go back to school in a week. School, with its crowded areas and unvaccinated people and possible removal of masks. The very thought of it makes his heart jump into his throat, dizzy with terror.

What if one of them had covid, and we just didn't have any symptoms, what if the vaccine doesn't work against the variant, fuck, he's going to get it, maybe he already has it, he's going to die he's going to die he can't breathe-

He suddenly had the image of his own funeral in his head, his boyfriend and his friends and his brother at his own funeral, crying softly and holding each other. He envisioned himself in the afterlife, waiting for them, watching Remus suffer alone because he wasn't there-

And that horrifying image in his head is what turned his soft crying into desperate sobs, shaking and pulling his hair so tight it stung. 

And that's also when he finally registered the frantic knocking on the door, how long has that been going on? and Remus's panicked voice coming from the other side.

"Jan? Baby, I can hear you crying, fuck, are you hurt? If you want me to fuck off, tell me, but- Oh, Jay, please answer, even a knock, just let me know if you're alright-"

Janus reached with trembling hands to unlock the door, even as his mind went no don't he could be sick, and he quickly moved away from the door a little so Remus wouldn't smack him in the face with the door when he came bursting in.

And burst in he did. In a flurry of motion, Remus quickly came in and shut the door behind him, then sat on the floor with panicked, worried eyes looking at Janus.

"Janus? Can you- fuck, I'm not good at this- can I touch you?"

Somewhere, in the back behind the panic, Janus found his stumbling endearing.

Janus debated for half a second, social distance 6 feet apart you'll die you'll die you'll die, before crumbling to his desire to be held.

"Pl- Please, hold me, I- I can't-" Janus's voice came out absolutely pathetic, broken up in sobs and small and trembling, but Remus paid it no mind. He quickly scooped up Janus in his arms, and Janus held onto him for dear life, like he'll be swept away if he doesn't. He cries so hard he's almost heaving, shaking like a leaf in Remus's strong, tattooed arms.

Oh, Remus, make it go away, He thought, and then cried harder because what a childish thing to think.

"Shh, shh, you're alright, I've got you. Can you breathe with me, darling? In and out, you're okay," Remus's voice was calm and soothing, the panic deliberately gone from his voice, probably to not make him feel worse. He breathed in deeply, over exaggerating his breaths so that Janus could follow along.

Janus tried to follow the rhythm, hiccupping through his tears. He stumbled a few times, and it took a bit, but he eventually was able to settle his breathing. His tears had started to slow, and he suddenly felt overwhelmingly childish. 

He just had a breakdown over something so stupid. It's not like he's the only one affected by covid, they're in a fucking pandemic, and he has no right to panic when he's not even sick. He's fine. 

Janus and Remus had only been together for a few months, so Remus hadn't seen this side of Janus yet. This was sure to make him leave. Fuck, he's so stupid.

"There you are, baby," Remus crooned with a soothing voice, and Janus flushed despite himself. Remus wiped away one of his lingering tears, his palm cupping Janus's cheek, and Janus leaned into the warmth, suddenly exhausted. He felt boneless and hollowed out inside of Remus's arms, like his limbs were made of lead.

"I'm sorry," Janus croaked, and Remus was shushing him before he could get more words out.

"No, shut up, you're not allowed to apologize for having a panic attack. You have nothing to apologize for." Remus was strong and steady, and Janus opened his eyes that he didn't mean to close. For some reason, he wanted to deny that what just happened was a panic attack. "You're okay, love, we're okay."

Janus gave a small laugh in spite of himself, and Remus huffed, indignant. "What?"

"Nothing, just- you use a l- lot more cutesy nicknames when you're calming me down." Janus noted, and Remus puffed up like a peacock, but he was smiling. 

"Would you rather I use my normal names? J-anus? Two Dicks? Hot ass? Da-"

Janus cut him off with laughter and a smack to the arm, "Shut up, you awful man, that wasn't an invitation-" 

Remus was laughing too, grin blinding. When they both stopped laughing, they just sat there for a while in comfortable silence. Remus traced the vitiligo patches on Janus's back through the clothes (Janus flushed at the fact that Remus just knew where they were) and Janus traced the tattoos on Remus's brown skin.

After several long, quiet moments, Remus's quiet voice broke the silence. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Instantly, Janus went tense, before shaking his head no. He couldn't explain it without sounding stupid, and he didn't want Remus to leave.

Besides, there was nothing Remus could truly say that he hasn't heard before. 

Nothing will make it go away.

Remus nodded, content with not pushing. "Well, I say we move the cuddling to the bed and not the floor, how does that sound?"

Before Janus could respond, Remus just scooped him up, effortlessly in the air. Janus squeaked and held onto Remus before Remus just dumped him down unceremoniously onto the bed, bouncing a little on the springs. 

Remus laid down on his back, and Janus immediately crawled to him and curled up next to him, laying his head on Remus's chest and Remus wrapping an arm around him.

"Nap time," Janus mumbled into Remus's shirt. Janus felt more than heard him chuckle.

"Well, if the king says it's nap time, then I have no choice but to obey." Janus swatted at him lazily, and he couldn't see it, but he bet Remus grinned. Remus laid a quick kiss to his temple and his heart swelled.

The worry still pricked in the back of Janus's mind. He was sure that later, he was going to freak out over this moment, that the sudden contact made him contract an illness.

But right now, at this moment, he's fine. He's with his boyfriend, and his other friends and his brother are in the house somewhere too, no doubt worried about Janus. They're all vaccinated, healthy, and safe. 

I'm okay, he thought, the thought not panic induced this time, and fell asleep next to Remus, and dreamt of nothing but warmth.

[writingsoftheghost]

Appreciation

Summary: The after of the newest asides (fwsa) Virgil appreciation, prinxiety bonding.

Patton squeals happily when Roman returns to the mindscape.

“You did it!” He cries excitedly, immediately wrapping the princely side in a hug. He freezes almost instantly and quickly retreats, “S-Sorry, Ro. I didn’t mean to jus—”

Roman smiles at him tentatively, “It’s alright, Pat.” Patton smiles back at him for a second before Roman remembers why he’d even been hugged in the first place. His smile turns to a wide grin, “Thomas has a date on Friday!” He screams happily.

Patton giggles, “We’re all so happy, even Logan is in a good mood.”

“That’s correct,” the logical trait says from the kitchen doorway. A small smile also gracing his lips. “You and Virgil make quite the team.”

Patton’s eyes light up, “Where is Virgil?” He asks, “I’m so proud of him.”

Roman nods, “He’s still with Thomas. Trying to calm down a little. I don’t know how I’ll ever thank him for ‘throwing us out there.’”

The purple clad trait rises up then, his eyeshadow a glittery purple still. He’s not paying attention to where he is.

“There he is!” Virgil jumps and looks up at the prince quickly. “Our knight in shining eyeshadow!” Roman grins at him.

Virgil’s cheeks redden, “I was just...making up for past mistakes.” He looks down and scratches the back of his neck, “I mean, I’ve caused Thomas to miss a lot of opportunities in the past. I can’t change those, but...maybe I can be better in the future?” He looks hesitantly up at Roman.

Roman runs at him and scoops him into a hug, spinning him around in a circle, “I can’t thank you enough for making this happen!”

Virgil makes a noise of discomfort, “Down,” he mumbles quietly.

“Sorry, sorry,” Roman sets him down hurriedly. “Oh! And I promise we’ll make a better plan for the date! Everything’s gonna go great!”

Virgil’s eyeshadow darkens to a sharp black. He groans, “Oh god, the date.”

Roman hurries to rectify the situation, “No, no. It’s okay! We have plenty of time to prepare! There’s no need for you to worry about that now!” He resists the urge to pull Virgil into another hug, he settles for patting him on the shoulder, “Now we should celebrate! Thomas has a date!”

Patton grins, “We’re all very proud of you, Virgil.”

“Thanks, guys,” Virgil mumbles, “And I really appreciate the encouragement, but I’m...freaking exhausted, frankly. Is it okay if we do something...quiet?”

Roman nods eagerly, “We can do anything you want, my dear emo. Can I suggest movies?”

Virgil nods, “That sounds okay...”

Patton smiles, “I’ll make snacks!” He rushes into the kitchen.

Logan follows him, smiling at Roman and Virgil before leaving entirely, “You’ve both earned some down time. I’m glad you two managed to collaborate today.”

Virgil smiles weakly after him, flipping onto the couch as soon as he leaves.

Roman glances at him with concern, “Hot Topic? Are you okay?”

Virgil groans into the couch cushions, “I’m. So. Tired!”

Roman chuckles, “Would you rather just take a nap? I’m sure Patton and Logan would understand.”

Virgil shakes his head, “I want to hang out with you guys.”

Roman nods, “Alright.”

Roman queues up several of Virgil’s favorite movies, sitting next to the emo side and Logan on the couch.

“Logan! Onesie!” Roman demands of the nerd with a disapproving glare.

Logan rolls his eyes, “Fine.” He snaps into his unicorn onesie, failing to hide the small smile on his face when he does so.

Patton giggles at his side, “Is everyone ready?”

Everyone grabs a snack from the coffee table as Roman hits start.

*****

Two movies in, Virgil starts to nod off. Roman doesn’t say anything as he feels the anxious side lean into his shoulder, he strokes the darker side’s hair away from his face gently.

“Sleep well, my stormy knight,” He turns the volume on the tv down slightly as Virgil’s soft snores fill the living room.

—————

I wanted to write something for the video. Sorry I didn’t work on anything ongoing lol. Happy video day!

Taglist: @idont-freaking-know @aceawkwardunicorn @kawaiikat54 @emo--nightmaree @a-yeet-bop-bop-boom @me-a-mess-morelikelythanyouthink @katlikethesword @tranquil-space-ninja

[cesabutterflywrites]

The Duke of the Bay: Part 8

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First Part, Ao3 Link, Next Part (Coming Soon)

Story Warnings: Guns, threats, alcohol, violence homosexual slang used pejoratively and positively, internalized homophobia, ask me to add any if need be

Chapter Warnings:   This is a heavy chapter. Violence is only implied, but the implications have a heavy impact. Read with caution.

Chapter Word Count:    3839

Summary: Patton O’Hearty was a great detective. Most people didn’t take him for one at first glance, especially when he dressed casual. He was abnormally chipper; he thought everything was the cat’s pajamas. He had a smile for everyone he met. He was always tipping his hat at the dames and gents when he walked the streets of the Bay Area.

The only person he could never catch was the leader of the planted mob in Emeryville, nicknamed The Duke. The Duke was good at hiding his dealings and joints well, and he rarely had a snitch in his ranks. The few who tried, well, somehow they disappeared before they could give the police any substantial information. He was well hidden, but popular among the residents of the town. People talked boldly of his rambunctious parties, never revealing the locations though. He was hard to catch, to say the least.

So what happens, when instead, the detective is the one that’s caught?

-

The dawn came as it always did- a soft gray and orange haze streaking in with the marine layer over the water of the San Francisco Bay. Roman de Rossi had a lovely view of it from his family mansion on San Pablo Avenue. A mansion that felt too big lately, with too high of a price to keep. 

 Roman rolled over to get out of bed when he bumped into something hard and stiff. His heart skipped a beat when he heard his wife cry out. 

“Jeeze, Ro, trying to be the first at the breakfast table again?” Rosalie’s voice was gruff. She rubbed the spot on her back where Roman had bumped. “I already got one slugger goin’ for my kidneys.” 

Roman rolled his eyes, though he was relieved he hadn’t hurt Rosalie. “Rose, why aren’t you in your bed?” 

 “Because I needed the warmth and comfort of my husband.” she mumbled sarcastically into her pillow, already on her way back to sleep. 

 All exhausted bitterness left him at the sound of her snores. At the beginning of their marriage it had been incredibly overbearing for him-to the point they shared separate beds- but with the rising threat of the gangs, he never knew when he’d see the last of his wife. After yesterday, there wasn’t even a certainty that he’d make it to see the birth of his twins. 

 Carefully, with a hesitation that seemed to become all-too-familiar, he rested his hand on Rosalie’s belly that was under his blanket. Rosalie hummed in response, but kept her eyes closed still. Roman tried to feel for any movement from the twins, but they didn’t. He tried to think that it was because they were also sleeping. It had nothing to do with the fact that every time he tried to feel for their movement he would get nothing. He ignored the tightness in his throat, he disregarded the burning tears, and prayed to God silently that he would make it through this trying time long enough to at least hold his children once. 

 The thought was an unwelcome intrusion since that fateful telegram from the Duke’s right hand man two months before. Shoving the bitter memory of that message aside, he got himself ready in the dark with a swiftness, already wanting the day to be done. He couldn’t tell whether his need to stay home was due to his anxieties of being a father, his weariness of  having more caseloads of rising crime, or his paranoia about criminal eyes spying on him. He watched his large wife turn about in her sleep as he dressed; she was unable to find a comfortable position. He couldn't blame her. Something he wished he’d have considered before the pregnancy was getting a large family bed so they could share it. Even if she snored like a boozed up bear. 

 A lock of her thick black hair fell out of it’s wrap and was caught in the light from the hallway behind him. Her lips were pushed out in a half pout, half pucker. The gown she was wearing was a large blue cotton dress with flowing sleeves. Her eyes were closed, not restful, but crinkled under her worried brows. Her face had gotten wider in her pregnancy. Her cheeks were flushed with red with elevated temperature from the warm room. She moved her hand to hold under her head as she laid on her side, facing Roman and the door. 

 She was beautiful, and Roman took this moment to appreciate her beauty, for he didn't know if this was the last time he would see her. He’d never know from now on. 

 "I can feel ya starin', darling husband," her teasing tone was muffled by the pillow and her sleepiness. "Get to work so I can sleep." 

 He quietly leaned over her, just as he always did, and kissed her. 

 He’d never know that his tired wife had noticed the despair in the extra moments their lips were met. 

 “Send for someone right away if anything happens, alright dear?” he asked while brushing a stray curl aside. 

 “Sure thing honey…”

 His walk to work was dim in the early morning as the fog was thick as wool. The only light guiding his way was a soft orange desperately clinging to the lampposts. The fog was dense with the promise of the coming autumn season for next month. It wasn’t smart of him to have left so early. There was no one on the street. No vagrants, no Jezebels, and no wayward orphans. Just him, the mist, and the sound of his shoes on moist stones. Still, just because he couldn't see anyone, it didn't mean that he didn't feel like he was being watched with eyes capable of seeing through all sorts of darkness. 

 It was soon enough in his hurry that he made it to the precinct. He ran his hand through his somewhat damp hair as he took his hat off at the entrance. He was early, earlier than normal, and the shift-changing deputies milling about by the entrance desk stood up straighter when they saw him. 

 “Hey, Cap’n. How’s the missus? Ready to burst just yet?” the old man at the desk asked. His name was Reggie, and if you called him a secretary you’d get a busted lip. He was the nicest-and oldest- member of the force. 

 “Oh, she’s fine. Doc says it’s gonna be any day now ‘til they’re here. I think she’s more excited than I am for it to be over. She’s been complaining about her feet being so swollen she can barely stand,” Roman laughed. The use of the word ‘complain’ was only polite. Rosalie’s ‘complaints’ about her pregnancy would make sailors blush. 

 Reggie guffawed. “Yeah, I remember when Ethel had her first. She was cursing so bad near the end you’d think she was a drunken sailor in a brig!” 

 “Women have a way with words, don’t they Reg?” Roman commented as he made his way around the desk. He wasn’t really waiting for an answer as he kept walking away. 

 Reggie must have been in a nice mood, since he didn’t point out the Captain’s distracted behavior as he walked off. Roman appreciated that. He was already in deep enough trouble with his reputation as a younger force captain. 

 Roman was grateful that he was going to be able to take some leave soon. He didn’t like being away from his pregnant wife all day. Especially now, with everything so changed. He sat down in his rolling chair with the force of a thousand anvils. He opened the folder on his desk, knowing there’d be no change in it since the last time he filled it a month ago with the ‘tip’ Logan and Patton got.

 Case Number: 103625 - Open - “The Duke” 

 He sighed to himself as a heavy headache formed behind his eyes. It was a new day, which meant new trouble, which meant he seriously needed some coffee. He reached for his announcer when- 

 “Captain, there’s a visitor here for ya.” A fresh faced rookie announced while walking into the office. His voice was a bit too anxious-to-please for the captain’s liking in the morning . 

 Roman’s voice imitated distant thunder - a warning, a looming threat - “Haven’t you heard of knocking, boy?” 

 The young man was smart enough to appear embarrassed. “I apologize, sir.” He stood at attention as he had been trained to do. His badge gleamed in the light of the office as his chest puffed out.

 Roman felt guilty for snapping at him. He didn’t want to be an angry, bitter leader, like his predecessor. Or like his father had been. Those old men were so hardened by stress that they felt no regard for those beneath them. He refused to be that way, no matter what.  So he forced his body to relax as he imagined the darkness in his heart being swept under the new rug of his office. 

 “I understand. I was a rookie like you once upon a time. What seems to be the trouble?” Roman forced a smile on his face, as though it was drying cement to keep in place.

 “You’ve got a guy saying he’s here for a meeting, a...Mr. Doris? Fella has a scar right here on his face." The officer took his finger and motioned on his face as an indicator of his description. Obviously the young man’s mind was wandering to stories about the nastiest criminals known to man. 

 Roman nodded, cleared his throat, then told him, "Bring him in." 

 The young officer disappeared, and in one breath the enemy had walked through the office door as if he owned the place. Roman sighed in defeat. It wasn’t ‘as if’ he owned the place, it was that he practically did. Especially now that the detectives weren’t ever going to ‘catch’ the bad guys like they should have ages ago.

 “What brings you in so early, Mr. Doris?” Roman asked. He stood up, smoothed down his tie, and held his hand out to shake his visitor’s gloved hand.  

 The visitor smirked. “I like the new you, Roman. Straight to the punch without any frivolous small talk. Such a change from the last time we had spoken.” 

 The memory sat between them. A smoked out room, sweaty foreheads, two guns between two young men, a kiss- a stalemate. 

 Roman gulped down the anxious sensation and forced himself to speak. “Well, I haven’t had any coffee yet, so I’m not feeling patient enough for chit chat.” 

 Mr. Doris’ laughter sent chills down Roman’s spine. His voice was dry and raspy, like a lizard. “I see. Well, the good news is that your two lead detectives are good at their jobs.” He slammed his fist down onto the desk as his eyes peered into Roman’s. “The bad news is, they’re so good at their job, even you don’t control them anymore.” 

 “That’s not true!” Roman exploded. The force of his anger pushed him out of his seat so he was practically nose to nose with his guest. “I just suspended Logan Smith for admitting he’s working with one of your men! Detective O’Hearty is too personable to be focused on investigating your precious boss! Hell, he’s probably going to be too busy sidetracked into chasing wild geese from that stunt Logan pulled. And another thing-” 

 “That’s enough, Roman.” Mr. Doris covered Roman’s mouth with one of his gloved hands. “You’ve told me all I needed to know.” 

 It’s too easy to play you, dear Roman, Doris thought to himself. I knew something was up with Virgil Vitale. He couldn’t keep the grin off of his face at the thought of finally teaching the little punk a lesson. 

 Roman shook the hand off of his mouth. His breath was shaky. “What do you mean?” 

 “Oh, I won’t tell you, dear,” Mr. Doris hummed. He walked to the doorway without any explanation. It was time to take business into his own hands after all. No more time to waste. “I’ve gotta run. Say hi to the missus for me.” He looked over his shoulder to make sure the unspoken threat hit its target. 

 Roman was left standing in that position. His hands wouldn’t stop shaking. His hair laid out of control around his face, his heart pounding, and the sense of impending doom- as if he just sentenced an innocent man to death. 

 ----------

 Alice woke up to the sound of the radio downstairs playing some German concerto. It was a slow morning for once. She hummed to herself, pleased that she was able to wake up slowly to beautiful music as opposed to the sound of harsh knocking at her door. Yet as she turned over in bed her peace was interrupted by the brightness of the sun shining through the window. She groaned at the disruption to her dreamy haze. 

 Alice hefted herself out of the large bed and made herself to the large vanity-much nicer than the one at her apartment- and started working on her hair. Once she was done making sure she looked presentable she made her way down the grand staircase to meet Logan wherever he was at. Which, knowing how large the house was, meant that it could be a proper while before she would find him. 

 The smell of sizzled meat wafted through the large hallways. Instead of looking for Logan, she decided to make her way towards the dining room from the night before. It’s rude to check in and hover over a cook’s shoulder, she reckoned. No matter how curious it was to her that Logan didn’t have any help at all. 

 The moment she sat down she heard the door from the kitchen open.  Logan was pushing a dining cart forward on his own. He had a white rag placed over his shoulder and a stained white apron tied around his waist. He was whistling an unfamiliar tune to himself as he set out the platters in front of Alice. She couldn’t help but laugh. She was enjoying this bright version of the detective. 

 “What’s the occasion, detective?” Alice asked once he sat down with her. 

 Logan struggled to hide a sheepish grin, “It’s just been a long while since I’ve had any sort of company over. I don’t get to go out much with my line of work.” 

 “Aw, didn’t wanna bring any wayward souls home for Christmas?” she teased. 

 Logan rolled his eyes at her. It was good that he was loosening up around her humor. Alice wondered if she could get away with cursing around him yet, but decided not to push her luck, given that they had a long day ahead of them. 

 “It’s gotta be more than me, come on.” Alice waggled her eyebrows at him. “What’s with the shift in the wind?” 

 Logan ignored her prompts. Instead, he lowered his head. Alice rushed to set her fork down so she could follow suit. 

 “Father God, I ask that you bless this food and those who consume it. We thank you for providing for us. We ask for you to sustain our spirits as well as our bodies. I ask that you help us in all of our endeavors today, and I thank you for bringing me someone to share this meal with. Thank you for providing me such youthful company. Amen.” 

 “Amen.” Alice echoed. She tried to keep her questions to herself. Logan’s prayer wasn’t one she had ever heard before. 

 Alice lifted the cover to reveal her breakfast. There was sausage, eggs, and toast with powdered sugar. It smelled amazing. 

 “Thank you, Logan, this looks delicious.” She immediately went for the eggs. It had been so long since she’d had eggs for breakfast. Not since she left her farm home nearly two years ago. 

 They sat at the table with only the sounds of the radio in the living room occasionally drifting in through the doors. Alice was enjoying her meal so much, she jumped when she heard the fancy telephone in the hallway ringing. 

 “Excuse me, Alice.” Logan muttered. He wiped his hands on his apron and swiftly walked on his long legs to the hallway. 

 It was irritating, being called in the morning. Especially when his meal was being interrupted. He lifted the earpiece off of the ringing box and greeted the operator quickly. Who would be calling him now that he’s suspended? 

 “Logan? Is this Logan Smith?” a partially familiar feminine voice asked over the receiver. 

“Yes. Who is this?” 

 Her words were spoken in rushes with pauses sounding like heavy breathing. “It’s Rosalie...Rosalie de Rossi.-” she took in a deep breath ”-I’m your captain’s wife!” After that she let out a bone-chilling moan. 

 The captain’s wife? He had only met her once at the Independence Day party at the Captain’s new mansion. Why was she calling someone like him? 

 The woman on the line hissed. “God fucking dammit! It hurts!” 

 “What hurts? What’s wrong? Where are you?” Logan threw his questions at her quickly as he reached for his notepad. 

 “My my,” a slick, whiskey smooth, masculine voice answered. He tutted. “Not very clever, Detective Smith.” 

 “Where is Mrs. de Rossi?” Logan asked. He felt as if the air around him was heavier. There was a weight settling into his chest. He ignored the familiar sensations and made a note that someone else had taken the line. 

 “She’s still alive. And she will stay that way, if you do everything I ask.” The man’s words were drawn out. Almost as if he were bored, or stalling. 

 “What do you want?” Logan hissed. The million questions he had were shoved aside when the man answered. 

 “I want your lover, Detective. Bring that filthy, grimy, Italian punk to the fisherman’s market in San Francisco after dark. Or I’ll just have to do something to your boss’ beautiful broodmare.” The voice chuckled at his sick comment. 

 This man was evil. The most evil he'd ever come across. Logan felt like he was going to topple over. “What makes you think I’ll come alone? That I won’t go straight to the captain?” 

 Laughter as dark as water at midnight bled through the receiver. “Oh Mr. Smith, that’s what I want. Give me a reason to pluck those sweet babies out of his missus.” 

 Logan heard a scream in the background. A string of curse words that he didn’t doubt were justified. 

 “Please don’t hurt her. Be reasonable. Why did you call me? I’m on suspension, I don’t have access to the resources-” 

 “Because your lover's family declared war, my boy!” the man roared. Logan identified his accent-Irish, or Scottish perhaps. “I’m going to get what I need outta him. So lock your brunette bitch away, grab your buddy and your faggot, and get your ass to my docks when the sun sets. Or-” another blood curdling scream from the woman in the background “-the captain’s dear wife and her babies drown.” 

 Just like that, the phone call ended. Logan didn’t have time to stand in the shock. Instinctive training responses immediately took over his body. He didn’t go back to the dining room and instead ran to get himself dressed. No other thoughts intruded. His head was empty of everything other than the fact that he needed backup. 

 He needed Patton. He needed to gather his resources. It was still nine in the morning. He had maybe eight hours before it was sunset, then two hours to cross the bay into San Francisco to the fisherman’s market. His mind was fixated on trying to create the quickest itinerary possible and how to notify the captain without the mysterious caller knowing. He seemed to know much more than Logan was comfortable with. 

 Logan was tying his shoes as he thought. He hadn’t told anyone about the night with Virgil. No one knew. He figured Alice may have suspected, but she hadn’t been able to talk to anyone. Not that she would. She was just a kid. She was just caught up in all of this business out of desperation and survival. Alice was just a pawn in a twisted game. She wasn’t a main player. 

 Patton was too wrapped up in his obsession with the Duke to even notice. Still, he was very angry towards Logan now that he knew Virgil was involved. Who knows what the captain and Patton talked about after Logan was dismissed. He remembered the knowing look at the Lion’s Den last month. His partner said then that he accepted everybody. Could he have been saying that to blend in? 

 Then there was the fact that this was the captain’s wife. Why kidnap her to get to Logan? He didn’t know the woman at all, only that the captain loved her very much. She was pregnant when they had met, and from the sound of the call she still was. 

 “Logan, where are you going?” Alice asked from the doorway of his bedroom. 

 “There’s an emergency. I need to go.” He pushed himself past her and rushed down the staircase. “Please stay here. Don’t leave.”

“Will Virgil be back to nanny me again?” she asked indignantly. 

 The question struck him through the heart. He couldn’t leave her unattended. She was defenseless here. The Duke's men could come looking for her. No doubt one of them was behind this in the first place as a way to distract them.

 “No. No, I-” he turned to her. “There’s trouble. I need to move you somewhere safer. You can’t be alone.” 

 Alice’s face seemed to grow ten years older. “I understand. Let’s go.” 

 They both grabbed their hats from the hook and walked out the door. Logan made his way to his car without another word. Alice felt in her gut that they were running into something more dangerous than she had ever known. 

 “Where are we going?” Alice asked after climbing into the carriage seat. Logan saw that she had withdrawn into herself. The silly child that he was starting to get introduced to had left her body. 

 “To Patton’s. I don’t think he’ll have left yet. We need his help.” Logan pulled out onto the street. “I’ll tell you on the way.” 

 Before the pair had shown up to Patton’s house, he had just drank his coffee. He didn’t need to go into the station today. All of his caseloads were closed except for one. Today was a day of regrouping and hitting the pavement. It was time for some good old fashioned talking to people again. The best way to find someone was to ask their friends or neighbors politely. Give them a smile and such. 

 He took his time getting ready. Trying to find the man that he used to be before this craziness started. The man who was able to walk down the street with faith in his heart. The detective who could solve everything with the right words someone needed to hear. That man was nowhere to be found as he pulled clothes from his closet. 

 It was a new day. He knew he would make progress today. No one was going to get the drop on him again. 

 When he sat down in his armchair his eye was caught on something on the end table. A piece of paper that didn’t seem to be from any of his  notepads. It wasn’t there when he had gone to bed the night before. 

 A familiar delicious thrill rushed through his body. Part of him thought to call on the locksmith soon, though it might not do much good. Carefully, as if the note were an explosive and not a simple message, he lifted the paper. 

 It was no simple message. 

 You’re in danger, dear detective. There are worse evils than I. Don’t do what your colleague asks. Come to me at the Lion’s Den instead. -The Duke

 Before he had time to react, there was rapid knocking at his door.

-

-

A/N:

Hello there! It's been nearly a year. There's a reason for that.

I work very, very hard when it comes to my stories. This one has a very important place in my heart. I had to take a break from it because the last thing I wanted to do was make rush decisions or half-ass everything.

In doing so, it meant that I had to wait until I had the time to give it the attention it deserves. I recently had a lot of my life change this past year, mostly losing loved ones. So this fic didn't get much of it's deserved time at once.

That being said, I swear this has a direction. While a lot of it is up to interpretation, this has a very direct sequence of events. That's why it's important for me to be able to pay extra attention.

That being said, I'm making a new normal. This fic goal is to be updated every 3 months, maybe less. My practice is to edit 3 times at least before I post.

Let me know what you thought of this chapter. Tell me your theories about what will happen next! I love talking about this story with anyone who will listen.

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taglist: @deceits-left-glove 

let me know if you want to be on the taglist for this or any other ship/story

check my pinned tumblr post for more of my work 

[imlovethomassanders]

Eyes are the Windows to the Soul(mates) - Chapter 5 (FINAL)

You can also read on ao3

One last huge thank you to @strongindependentcheesecake​ for beta reading this whole thing. I appreciate it.

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4

Summary: The lucky few who have a soulmate are born with heterochromia, with their left eye being the color of their soulmate’s eyes and their right eye being their own color. Not only was Virgil one of the lucky few to have a soulmate, but he was given four. His left eye changed colors every time he blinked, rotating between his four soulmates’ eye colors. His rotating eye colors caused him to be a bit of an outcast growing up, but when he finally leaves for college, things start to fall into place. This is the journey of five strangers finding each other.

Pairings: DLAMP with background Remile

Warnings: None I believe

Words: 4999

Taglist:  @touchstarvedvirgil @lamp-calm-sanders @ninjago2020 @confinesofpersonalknowledge @secret-novelisthost18 @phander-sides @sherlock-lives-on-bakerstreet @bookbingingproblem @viana-dascolli @sharktryingtofly @crofters-n-falsehoods @turnedthefreakingfrogsgay @little-kat07 @romano-hottopic​​

Patton was very, very, very excited. It was finally time. They had all finished school and they were finally moving in together!!

Patton couldn't help but be giddy as he helped bring up boxes into their shared condo. While it was more expensive than getting an apartment, with four of them (hopefully five, soon!), the extra space was very much needed.

Patton was just so happy to finally have his three soulmates together. He couldn't help but constantly be hugging on one of them. While it was a bit inconvenient while they were unpacking boxes, none of them dared complain about it when Patton was pressing such soft kisses all over their faces.

When they had unpacked enough boxes to be considered livable, they all collapsed onto the mattress on the floor, their bed frame coming later that week.

"We need to go grocery shopping tomorrow. We can not live off the snack cakes and cheez-itz Patton brought," Logan said.

"That's how I lived throughout high school," Virgil said.

"I can not and will not let you resume such a diet," Logan responded.

"Well tonight, I'm ordering take-out," Roman said as he pulled out his phone.

Nobody objected. They were all too tired to even think of going to buy things to cook with. And then they'd have to unpack the dishes and dear god Patton was getting exhausted just thinking about it.

Forty minutes and a bunch of Chinese take-out containers later, the four of them were back on the mattress.

"The spare room can be a studio!" Roman mused. "Logan and I can use it for our writings while you two can use it to paint."

"I am quite excited to get the bookshelves up," Logan said. "The new ones we bought are very nice."

"I'll finally have a good place to keep all my records, and- hey, Pat? Are you okay?"

Patton wiped the tears that had quietly fallen down his face.

"It's just... I'm so happy to finally have all of us in a home together."

Virgil gave him a lopsided grin and pulled him against his chest. "I promise, the feeling is mutual."

"Well... almost all of us," Roman said, a hint of sadness in his smile. Patton paused to look at all of them, their beautiful eyes along with the golden one of their unfound soulmate.

"We'll find them soon," Patton whispered. "I'm sure."

"...I wonder what they'll think," Virgil muttered into Patton's hair. "When they find out that the four of us have been together for a while."

"I pray they're not alone," Roman muttered as he moved to spoon Vigil, reaching for Logan over Patton. "We've been so lucky to find each other..."

"It accomplishes nothing to fret over it," Logan said as he turned on his side beside Patton and took Roman's hand. "We will meet them when the time is right."

"I know," Patton huffed as he leaned against Logan. "But I can't help but be impatient."

"I wonder what they're like," Roman mused.

"Lovely. Amazing. Perfect," Patton suggested.

"Let's not set too high expectations," Logan said. "Whoever they are, they will be wonderfully flawed and wonderfully human. Not perfect."

"Hmmm, I don't know about that, Specs," Roman said with his cocky grin. "You all thoroughly and fantastically beat all my expectations."

Logan scoffed, but didn't feel like starting an argument.

Patton yawned, soon followed by Roman, then Virgil, then finally Logan.

"We really should put sheets on the mattress," Logan said, though made no effort to move.

"Yeah, probably," Patton sighed. No one moved.

"Okay," Virgil said after a moment as he pushed himself out of Roman's arms, causing Roman to whine at the loss. "Let's go get ready for bed. We can not afford a dentist's visit for cavities so get up."

Roman groaned as he fell on his back, but eventually pushed himself up alongside Patton and Logan.

Logan did manage to persuade them to put bed sheets on the mattress, and as soon as the four of them had their arms around each other they immediately fell asleep, the busy day finally catching up to them.

*

Virgil huffed as he pulled his hoodie tighter around him. Though he had lived here for a few months now, he still wasn't used to the large crowds and today the crowd seemed worse than usual. People were touching him from all angles and he just wanted to get home.

He stared at his phone, doing his best to text Patton while watching where he was walking. He thought he was doing an okay job when he accidently hit shoulders with another pedestrian.

"Shit, I'm so sorry," Virgil said as he quickly got on his knees to help pick up the things that had fallen out of the stranger's arms: a book on philosophy, a stack of notes titled "Moral and Political Philosophy", a copy of "Lord of the Flies," and a pamphlet called  "How to Care for Your Royal Python."

The stranger said nothing as he pushed up his sunglasses and quickly grabbed the papers on the ground. Virgil glanced up to see sharp cheekbones and scarring on the left side of the stranger's face. He glanced back down before he could observe much closer details, not wanting to be caught staring.

He handed the last of the papers to the stranger, and the stranger walked off with a huff. Virgil, rattled by the whole encounter, now really just wanted to get home.

*

"Hello!" a chorus of calls came from the living room when Virgil opened the front door. Virgil smiled as he slipped off his shoes and he heard the sound of Patton running up to him.

Patton wrapped his arms tightly around Virgil's neck and Virgil held back, grin growing larger.

Patton eventually pulled back to press a quick kiss to Virgil's lips, then leaned back to look at Virgil's face when his smile dropped and his eyes widened.

"What?" Virgil asked anxiously as his grip tightened around Patton.

"Virgil, your eyes!" Patton exclaimed. That got the attention of Logan and Roman, and Virgil heard the couch shift before the two walked around the corner.

"What about them?"

Patton frowned. "You... you don't know?"

Roman gasped and Logan's eyes widened as well, and Virgil ran to the front bathroom.

His face paled when he saw what they were talking about. In the mirror, two gray eyes were staring at him.

It could've been anyone. How many people had he talked to today? The attendant at the subway, the woman he sat next to, the barista, the employees at the art store, the man he bumped into, the woman at the crosswalk-

"Virgil?" Patton asked quietly. Virgil glanced to the doorway to see the three of them looking at him with worried expressions. It was just then that Virgil realized he was struggling to breathe.

He reached for them and immediately Logan took his hands in his, guiding him to sit on the toilet lid as Logan led him through his breathing.

"I- I don't know who," Virgil said. "I never noticed anyone's eyes today. I wasn't paying attention, I-"

Roman shushed him gently as he squatted down to be eye level with Virgil. "It'll be okay, love," he assured. "We'll find them. We know they're here, in the city. I'm sure one of us will run into them soon."

Virgil just nodded as Roman ran his hand up and down Virgil's arm. He let himself lean against Roman, head resting on his shoulder, trying to ignore his running thoughts of what is their soulmate is just a tourist and they leave the city before they get to meet them, or what if it's forever until they meet again because the city's population is so large and-

"Virgil, dear, you're spiraling," Logan said as he squeezed Virgil's hands, causing Virgil to blink back into focus.

"Come to the couch with us, hm?" Roman asked as he placed gentle kisses on Virgil's head.

"We'll watch your favorite movie?" Patton asked. Virgil couldn't help but smile. They were trying to distract him from his own thoughts. It wasn't easy, but a few kisses and cuddles were usually enough to at least quiet them down a bit.

"Yeah, okay."

*

It was only a few days later as Roman was rushing down the subway station steps. Today was an audition he really wanted to make, so of course it was just his luck that he was almost running late. He quickly swiped his card and went through the turnstile, running towards the subway platform.

Panic rushed through him as he saw the doors closing. And in a move that he would call "brave" and Logan and Virgil would call "idiotic", he risked it. He ran towards the door and just barely made it through, though his momentum caused him to run straight into someone standing, causing them to let go of the hand rail and stumble back.

The man glared at him as he pushed Roman off, dusting off his shirt and readjusting his messenger bag.

"Oh, my sincerest apologies. I didn't... mean... to..." Roman trailed off. He saw a man with a large scar down the left side of his face, sharp cheekbones, and some of the prettiest eyes he had even seen. His right eye was golden brown, while his left was Patton's green. The man's eyes widened as he watched Roman's left eye morph from his gold into Roman's own dark brown, and a large grin grew on Roman's face.

The subway started and Roman was jolted forward. His soulmate reached out and steadied him.

"Hi," Roman said breathlessly.

"...Hi."

Neither said anything for a moment when his soulmate realized he was still holding onto Roman and quickly let go.

"I'm Roman."

"I'm-"

"One of the most gorgeous men I've ever had the privilege of seeing?" Roman said, so quietly he was almost worried his soulmate didn't hear it, but the slight blush growing on his cheeks told him that he did.

"I'm Janus."

"You have no idea how wonderful it is to have finally found you."

"I believe I have a better idea than you think."

Roman flushed.

"I see you've met the others," Janus said, just a hint of bitterness in his voice. "Which one did I happen to run into that day?"

"Virgil," Roman smiled. "You met Virgil. He'll be really glad I found you. He was really freaking out about it."

"Virgil," Janus repeated quietly to himself.

"And there's Patton, the green, and Logan, the blue. Oh, you must let me bring you to the apartment, they'll adore you. They'll be so excited when I tell them-"

Roman was interrupted by the subway intercom announcing its arrival to the next station. Alarm shot through Roman when he realized this was his stop, but he had something much more important to attend to now.

"This is your stop?" Janus asked, though it wasn't really a question. "Where are you headed?"

"An audition," Roman said as the subway came to a stop. Roman hadn't grabbed hold of the handrail and had to be yet again saved by Janus to keep from stumbling. "But it's not that important."

Janus raised his eyebrow, clearly not buying it.

"I can skip. Let me take you somewhere. Have you had lunch yet? I-"

"Oh, stop," Janus said as the doors opened. He grabbed a pen from his bag and took Roman's arm, pushing up his coat sleeve to quickly write his number. "I have a job interview to go to. And even if I didn't, I would not let you sacrifice your audition for a date."

Date. Date. It clicked in Roman's mind that he would not be able to take this gorgeous man out on dates and he felt his face grow red again.

"Call me when you're finished," Janus said as he pulled Roman's coat sleeve back down.

He then proceeded to take Roman's hand in his and bend down to kiss it gingerly. "And good luck," he looked up and said with what he knew was a charming smirk. He then proceeded to nearly push Roman off the subway right before the doors closed, Leaving Roman a bit flustered and speechless on the subway platform.

*

Roman walked out of that audition room fucking delighted. Using his newfound excitement and adrenaline, he felt he did really well at the audition, and the director and casting director seemed to like him pretty well. He was feeling good about his chances.

But now he could finally do what he truly wanted to do the whole time. He pulled out his phone and called Janus.

"Janus?" Roman asked as soon as the line was answered.

"Hello, Roman," Janus replied. And though Roman barely knew him, he could already hear the confident grin that accompanied the lilt in his voice. "Doing well?"

"Doing fantastic. I think it went really well. I think I really captured the intricacies of the character, and not to brag but I'm pretty sure the director loved me. She said that I- Oh. Uh. How did your interview go?"

Janus chuckled. "It went well. I'm glad to hear your audition did, as well. Care to tell me about it over tea?"

Roman was already too far gone. "I'd love that."

"I picked a spot a few blocks away from the subway station you got off. I'll text you the address. Shall I order you a drink?"

*

This cafe was not one of the quick and cheap coffee grabs Roman and Virgil would go to each morning. This one was larger, not crammed between two other buildings. It had floor to ceiling windows with hanging plants surrounding the edges. And inside, sitting at a table by the window, was Janus - sipping a cup of tea and reading.

Roman couldn't help the large grin that grew on his face when he saw Janus. The bell above the door dinged and a smile also grew on Janus' face when he looked up and saw Roman.

"Don't screw this up, don't screw this up, don't screw this-"

"I ordered your tea," Janus' smooth voice interrupted Roman's thoughts. "I also asked for honey. I know actors swear by it."

"Thank you," Roman smiled as he sat down, rubbing his sweaty palms on his pants.

"So you're an actor?" Janus asked as he lifted his tea to his lips. Roman flashed a grin he hoped was confident as his hands gripped his pants.

"Indeed I am!" Roman said. "I have a degree in theatre and have been acting my whole life."

Roman's knuckles turned white in his lap. He was unfamiliar with nerves that weren't the exciting rush before going onstage - these nerves made his leg shake and teeth clench, no matter how hard he tried to smile his mouth into relaxation.

"What about you? What do you do?" Roman asked as he made sure his hands weren't shaking before picking up his own cup.

"I'm getting my doctorate in philosophy, but with exams coming up I'd rather not spend a second thinking about it longer than I have to. Please, I'd love to hear more about you."

Roman desperately tried to think of anything he knew about philosophy, but of course his final soulmate would major in the one class Roman had to drop in college.

"What would you like to know?"

"What about me scares you?"

Roman quickly looked up from his teacup to look at Janus' face.

"Wha- Nothing about you scares me! Why would you say that?"

"Honey, your leg has been shaking nonstop and you won't look at me."

Roman gaped as he put his cup down. Janus' face fell just a tad, and Roman wouldn't have been able to tell if he hadn't been only focusing on Janus' expression.

"It's the scar, isn't it? I know it's off putting-"

"No!" Roman exclaimed, a bit louder than he meant to. "No. Trust me, I have been taken by your beauty the moment I saw you. The scar doesn't bother me at all."

Janus blinked in surprise before quickly recovering.

"If not that, then what's got you scared, dear?"

Roman hesitated before sitting back in his chair.

"When I met Logan, I met up with him in a coffee shop. I then proceeded to thoroughly fuck up the entire conversation. It took two weeks before we were able to spend time together like soulmates are supposed to."

"And you didn't want to fuck up this one?" Janus asked. Roman nodded, avoiding Janus' gaze.

Roman was startled when a gloved hand reached over and gently tiled his face up. Janus was looking at him with soft eyes, juxtaposed only by the huge smirk on his face.

"Roman, honey, I don't know the situation with Logan, but when a handsome man literally falls into my arms, what else am I supposed to do but be utterly taken?"

Roman blushed, and his embarrassment only grew when he chased after the hand that Janus took off his face. Janus chuckled and took Roman's hand across the table.

"The man the universe just gave me then proceeds to compliment me then offers to drop everything to spend time with me? How sweet. Naive, and a bit foolish, but so incredibly sweet."

Janus ran his thumb over Roman's knuckles the whole time. He leaned in across the table, and Roman couldn't help but follow.

"Trust me, dear Roman. Beautiful, courteous Roman. You don't have to worry about me."

And Roman was already gone.

*

Virgil was just lounging on the couch, scrolling through Tumblr when Patton got the phone call from Roman. He was going to bring their final soulmate to their home.

The first thing Virgil felt was relief. Relief that he hadn't screwed up, and that he hadn't missed the chance to find their final piece.

The second thing Virgil felt was joy. The three of them were ecstatic as Patton and Logan quickly tried to tidy up the apartment. Finally, after so many years of waiting, they were finally going to see them - they were on their way to their home.

The last thing Virgil felt was, unsurprisingly, anxiety. What if their final soulmate didn't like him? What if he somehow screwed up the introductions and their soulmate decided they didn't want anything to do with him? It didn't matter that Virgil had done this three times prior - meeting new people always stressed Virgil out, especially when the person was so important.

After what felt like an eternity (but was probably only twenty minutes), they heard the lock on the front door click. Patton reached for both Logan and Virgil's hands and squeezed them, and Virgil didn't know if it was to calm him or Patton himself.

Roman walked in with a wide smile on his face, and the man who followed behind him made Virgil's breath hitch.

He was even more gorgeous than Virgil remembered from the day they had run into each other. Here, Virgil could truly appreciate his features. And with no sunglasses to cover his eyes, Virgil got to watch as his eye faded from green, then blue, and finally into his own light brown.

Virgil couldn't help but glance over to Patton and Logan. Their eyes were both now only green and blue respectively, and Virgil felt a wave of fondness tighten in his chest. Their eyes were so perfect, so them. Part of Virgil knew he'd miss seeing his partners' eyes in each other, but most of him now was just in love with how beautiful they were.

Roman closed the door behind them.

"So this is-"

Before Roman could finish speaking, Patton cried out an "Oh!" and launched himself at the unsuspecting man, wrapping his arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.

The man was startled, and awkwardly patted Patton's back, but did nothing to push him away.

"I'm so happy to finally meet you!" Patton was crying. Their soulmate's mouth twitched up in a small smile.

"It's nice to meet you, too."

Patton reluctantly let go of their soulmate and gave him a sheepish smile.

"I'm Patton."

"Janus."

"Logan." Logan stepped forward and held out his hand. Janus shook it while Roman bit his lip to keep from laughing. It was an odd time to be so practical, Virgil thought, but another fond wave washed through him because that's just how Logan was.

Janus then looked over at Virgil.

"I've met you."

"Yeah, um. Sorry about that. Running into you I mean," Virgil said and immediately winced. Janus raised an eyebrow.

"Come sit!" Patton said as he ushered the four of them into the living room. "I'll make coffee! Or tea. Or cocoa. Which do you like, Janus?"

*

Virgil watched as Janus placed his now empty tea mug on a coaster. He couldn't help but watch him, even if it made him feel extremely creepy. He was a bit overwhelmed from the suddenness of everything, so he wasn't speaking very much. Janus didn't seem to mind as he conversed with the others.

Virgil could tell the others (and himself, if he was being honest) already adored Janus. With his smooth voice and sharp wit, it was easy to be captivated.

Patton, who was sitting in between Janus and Virgil on the couch, heard Virgil's stomach grumbled once the afternoon started to meld into evening. With all the excitement earlier in the day, Virgil had forgotten to eat lunch and hadn't thought about it until now.

After shoving a granola bar in Virgil's hands, Patton offered to pick up food from a nearby restaurant. Logan went with him, and Virgil graciously let Roman lead the conversation.

"I just prefer the more classic musicals of Broadway," Janus said with a wave of his hand as he reclined into the couch. "Many of the new musicals are too poppy for me."

"Even so, the new ones are so good!" Roman said as he leaned forward in his chair. Virgil himself leaned against the arm of the couch, waiting for a moment he felt comfortable interjecting. "Modern musicals may  not have the same charm as the classics, but that doesn't make the music or script any less enjoyable."

"Don't even get me started on the Hollywood takeover of Broadway," Janus said. "I am so tired of these musical adaptations of movies. We need to stop letting film companies take the theatres and give chances to new playwrights and original stories."

"That... you're mostly right on. But the Mean Girls musical has some bops."

Janus opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted by Roman's phone ringing. By the scowl on Roman's face, Virgil knew he was going to decline, but then Roman hesitated.

"I don't mind if you take the call," Janus assured him. Roman gave him a grateful smile and answered it just before the final ring.

As Roman went to take the call in the bedroom, Virgil tried to quell the anxiety rising in him. It must've been important for Roman to have answered it at this time. Virgil hoped it wasn't an emergency. Maybe it was Remus calling him just to propose another crazy scheme of his - Roman could never ignore his brother. But it also could've been a phone call bearing bad news - Something happened to Remus, or Remy, or Emile, or something else terrible that would warrant Roman to interrupt his time with his new soulmate-

"Are you alright?" Janus asked, snapping Virgil from his spiraling thoughts. Virgil grimaced but gave him a smile anyways.

"Yeah, sorry. Just got lost in thought for a moment."

Janus looked Virgil up and down, making Virgil squirm under his gaze.

"Do I frighten you?"

"What? No! Of course not!" Virgil said. He sighed and turned more towards Janus. "I'm sorry. I just get inside my own head and freak out sometimes. You've been nothing but wonderful this whole time. I'm sor-"

"You don't have to apologize if you're anxious, Virgil," Janus said. "It's nothing to be ashamed of."

Virgil gaped for a moment. While of course the others accepted his anxiety, it took a bit of a learning curve for them to get used to it. No one had immediately told him before that they didn't mind.

"But I shouldn't be," Virgil eventually huffed, sitting up straighter and just a bit closer to Janus. "We're supposedly made for each other - I know we're going to get along so why does my brain tell me I'm going to mess it up?"

"That's what anxiety does, babe."

Virgil barked out a laugh.

"Yeah, you're right."

"So let me ask again now. Are you alright?"

Virgil thought for a moment before nodding.

"Yeah. For real this time."

Janus opened his arms, and Virgil graciously accepted.

"I'm so happy we found you," Virgil murmured into Janus' chest as Janus wrapped his arms securely around Virgil. "I had been so worried these last few days - worried that we'd never find you again, or that it'd be years-"

"You don't need to worry anymore," Janus said with a smile. "I'm right here where you need me."

The bedroom door opened, and Virgil automatically went to sit up, but Janus gently coaxed him into leaning against his side - not tightly enough to force him, just enough to show him that it's fine, and Virgil reminded himself that neither Janus or Roman would judge him.

Roman smiled when he saw the two of them, but his eyes were heavy and Janus and Virgil frowned.

"Is everything okay?" Virgil asked. "Who called?"

"Yes, everything's fine. Don't worry, my little stormcloud. It was just audition results from the one last week. I didn't make the callback."

"Oh, Roman. I'm so sorry," Virgil said. He sat away from Janus, who moved to encourage him back, but stopped once Virgil waved Roman over. Roman immediately moved to sit between them, laying his head on Virgil's shoulder as Virgil held him and Janus took his hands, running his thumbs over Roman's knuckles.

"You'll make one of them someday. You're so talented." Virgil assured him.

"It's so hard to get started," Roman sighed. "They're more likely to cast people they know, but how are they going to know me if I never get casted?"

"The people that ignore your talents aren't worth your time anyway," Janus said. "If they're more focused on relations rather than talent, that's not a production you want to be associated with."

Roman gave him a weak smile and went to sit up straight.

"Don't let me burden you both with my dilemmas this joyous night," Roman said. "Please, continue telling me about your classes, Janus."

Janus just sighed. "I just told Virgil not to be ashamed of his anxiety. You, Roman, do not need to be ashamed of being disappointed.

"I hate to bother you-"

"You're not bothering me, nor Virgil I'm sure. There's no shame in seeking comfort when you need it," Janus leaned closer to Roman. "I want you to take care of yourself. No bottling up feelings, okay?"

Roman nodded.

"Good."

Janus sat up straight.

"Also, if you'd like, I'd be happy to help you with your monologues and scenes. I myself used to do theatre work."

Roman's face lit up again. "Oh really?"

Janus nodded.

Virgil was almost as happy as Roman to hear it. While of course he and Logan and Patton helped Roman when they could, Virgil knew they weren't exactly the best scene partners to work with.

"I would love that. Is there a chance I could also get you to sing for me, my star?"

It was Janus' turn to blush, and with that Roman seemed to have gained his confidence again as he sat up to tease Janus, who snapped at him in return, but his smile showed it held no real malice.

Virgil rested his chin on Roman's shoulder as the two quipped back and forth. Logan and Patton got back home shortly after. Janus encouraged Roman to tell Logan and Patton what happened over the phone, and two of them took no time to comfort him.

Once dinner was done, Patton was insistent on making Roman's favorite red velvet cupcakes.

"You don't have to put in that trouble for me," Roman had said.

"Your smile is worth it," Patton replied. Roman had gone a deep red and couldn't muster up any further protests.

It was cramped in the kitchen. Virgil was sitting on the counter, mostly just handing utensils to who needed it, while Patton and Janus made batter. Logan had started on frosting while Patton insisted that Roman did need to help - these were for him, after all! So Roman floated from person to person, stealing hugs and kisses where he could get it.

Patton booped some batter onto Janus' nose and kissed it off, which had been too adorable to process.

Virgil watched as Roman made the rounds into Janus' arms. Janus was the only one tall enough to be eye level with Roman. Roman's expression turned from blissed to thoughtful to hesitant. Janus, ever intuitive, knew what he was thinking and leaned in to press a quick, chaste kiss to Roman's lips. Roman's smile grew wide and his cheeks grew red as he rested his forehead on Janus'

Virgil himself could feel his heart swelling with happiness. He watched as Logan and Janus were able to discuss and debate about far more things than the rest of them could understand. Janus and Roman were able to throw clever nicknames at each other, their sharp wits bouncing off the other's. Janus was able to make Patton grow blushy and giggly almost as fast as Roman, using that smooth lilt in his voice to fluster him almost immediately.

Then Janus thought back to their brief time together on the couch - when strong arms held him tightly and grounded him, letting him know that he was safe - and Virgil knew that they were finally complete.

[amuhseen2003]

SANDERS SIDES KARAOKE: GOTHIC LITERATURE MUSICALS EDITION

Okay, so after four years of being in the Sanders Sides fandom, I’m going to attempt to write some headcanons. Here we go.

Since it’s well-known in fanon that the sides do have karaoke sessions, imagine what would happen if they sang musicals based on gothic literature.

Roman’s happy because broadway, duh, Logan is happy because it’s canon that he enjoys gothic literature since he dressed up as Frankenstein’s monster for Halloween, same reason for Virgil and Patton’s happy that his family is bonding. He made extra cookies for the occasion. He’s dangerous like that. 

(I headcanon that when Thomas had to write analyses of gothic literature novels for school, Virgil, Roman and Logan would work together to come up with stuff and write the best essays in class and Patton would be so proud of them)

I’m not going to count Les Mis because I’m not too sure if that counts as gothic literature and whilst the Hunchback of Notre Dame is indeed gothic (trust me I read that in a plane once. An entire, like, ten pages is dedicated to describing the scenery) I don’t think it became a broadway show.

Now this isn’t like their usual karaoke nights, no sir. Just idly remaining in the living room won’t do. Where is the gusto? The pizazz? The accolade winning extravaganza? The-

“We get it Princey, can you just get on with it?” - Virgil

No, this type of singing can only be accompanied with an atmosphere that will do it justice. To the imagination they go and with Logan’s (who has practically memorised every single one of these books and is not geeking out at all) input on how the novels describe each setting, Roman creates very intricate landscapes for each song.

When they sing ‘Alive’ from ‘Jekyll and Hyde’ Roman thought that it would be really cool for Patton to play Mr Edward Hyde since Hyde is literally the human id and Patton, being the embodiment of morality, is literally the superego (although to be fair, Patton is also shown to be quite childish and impulsive since he’s also the base of Thomas’ emotions and Hyde is impulsive because he’s a way for Jekyll to act on his own emotions - especially since the only crime that Hyde does in the book are him over-reacting with his anger by beating a man to death. And in the novella, Jekyll writes that he and Hyde are like father and son and that Hyde is actually younger than Jekyll is, he does have that sense of childishness that Patton has only instead of that childishness being good and helpful, it’s bad and hurtful. Plus in the soundtrack of Alive, whilst Anthony Warlow does sing about how good being evil feels like, he also sounds like he is crying tears of joy of being able to be himself, the first words post-transformation being freedom and anyways these are supposed to be fun headcanons not analytical headcanons so I digress…)

Anyways Patton is happy to play the villain because “look kiddos, Roman conjured up this really swell cape” “the correct term is cloak” “and check out this top hat and cane!” and he’s just belting out the words and froliking around Victorian London without a care in the world, making his cape swoosh in the wind.

“Patton I would advise you not to take your shoes off. This is nineteenth-century London with people dying of cholera by the dozens, your feet could catch a myriad of infections.”

“Worry not, specs, the scenery is merely an illusion. I would never allow for our dear padre to succumb to the villain of illness”

“Aww, thanks kiddo (cue Patton’s sunshine smile) now where was I? IT’S THE FEELING OF BEING ALIVE! FILLED WITH EVIL AND TRULY ALIVE!”

They have Logan sing ‘I Need To Know’ because a doctor of science singing about wanting to expand his knowledge and having that thirst to do whatever it takes to get said knowledge. That is a Logan Sanders song right there. At first he’s like “why do I have to sing. I was happy enough giving directions and helping you with the scenery” but Roman creates this big scientific library that could rival the one from Beauty and the Beast/ laboratory from that’s practically the identical to Jekyll’s lab in the book and he’s like “Fine” like he isn’t enjoying himself. He is. They all know it. He’s not fooling anyone

Patton and Roman sing ‘Bring on the men’ together (yes, whilst wearing dresses) whilst Virgil and Logan drink apple juice from those big british beer glasses in the mind-scape created Red Rat (which Logan is quick to point out doesn’t exist and is vocally upset at how the musical adaptation added unnecessary romantic subplots with Lisa and Lucy when the book itself only had three background female characters who were only there for like one paragraph. He’s even more upset at the other inaccuracies with the book like how in the play Jekyll creates his formula as a cure for mental illness and Hyde was accidental whilst in the book he did it because he wanted to indulge in sin without fearing the consequences and Hyde, whilst not being exactly what he wanted, was actually created on purpose or how in the book Hyde only kills one man and in the musical he kills practically everyone except for the one person he did kill. Virgil pats him on the back with sympathy). Roman and Virgil are sniggering at the sexual euphemisms at the end of the song whilst Patton’s confused. She just seems really enthusiastic about food.

Roman sings both parts of ‘Confrontation’ by himself. He gets a standing ovation.

He also does ‘Transformation’. The problem is that he was so good at sounding like he was in complete agony and near death that they had to stop the song prematurely because Patton was getting upset. Don’t worry, Pat gets lots of cuddles by Roman afterwords.

(You know what I might do some sides reacting to The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde later because 1. It’s my favourite book and 2. All four of them would have very interesting takes on it)

From the Frankenstein musical Virgil plays the criminal from ‘Say Amen’ because he wants to (seriously, the guy’s first words in the song are ‘I curse the day that I was born into a world so black with hate’) and Logan plays Victor Frankenstein but Patton refuses for his son to even pretend to be executed by the noose so they have Roman play a man wearing a british executioner outfit with a foam sword and the creative side just bonks the anxious side on the neck with it. Logan despairs about the historical inaccuracy from his place in the stands whilst Patton is cheering next to him. Patton also hands him an extra jumper to keep him warm in the Switzerland cold. 

“Patton, I am grateful that you are thinking of my health but no one in eighteenth century Switzerland wore bright blue jumpers with cartoon kittens on them”

“Really, Logan, are you paw-sitive?”

“I would like to change places with Virgil. Immediately” 

Roman and Logan turn ‘Birth to my creation’ into a duet because Logan enjoys the scientific aspect of it and Roman can’t resist the drama (of course). He goes all out. He makes Victor’s lab perfect to the smallest detail (and cheers when Logan’s eyes start lighting up and he does that cute clappy thing when he’s excited), he conjures a storm and makes lightning strike at the best moments of the song. He even creates a ‘wretch’ (what Victor calls the monster in the book. I’ve heard that it’s name is Adam but all I remember from the novel is Victor calling himself god and the creature his Adam) to lie on the table. 

“And we didn’t even have to go grave-robbing for it. Or drop out of University.” - Roman

“No matter how many times I wanted to.” - Virgil

Roman and Virgil do most of the songs from Dracula. The creative side creates this huge, expensive-looking window-balcony thing with glass double doors and billowing silk curtains so that he could dramatically sing ‘the longer I live’ whilst the wind blows through his hair and he dramatically drapes himself on the balustrade so that the light from the full moon hits his figure just right. Patton’s close to crying.

Logan is very eager to give as many facts as he can about nineteenth-century mental institutions for ‘The Master’s Song’. He gets really into the history behind certain treatments and different cases. Roman plays Renfield and the others play doctors. 

Virgil is super into Dracula’s castle during ‘Life after life’. He and Roman duet that song wearing all-black. Logan tries to help Patton’s slight fear by telling him the history behind different pieces of architecture.

Patton plays Christine during Phantom of the Opera

Roman, Virgil and Logan sing ‘A story told’ from The Count of Monte Cristo around a circular table in a dimly lit tavern. Patton takes pictures and drinks hot chocolate in the sidelines.

[brother-lipsmackariah]

"Wait, you like me?"

Ts x Sides Day 4:

@tsxsides @thomasxsides

Pairings: Romantic Thomality, platonic LAMPT

Characters: Character Thomas, Patton Sanders, Virgil Sanders. Background Roman, Remus, Janus and Logan.

Other tags: Fluff, crushes, Patton in cute makeup, confessions and all that comes with it

Warnings: I don't think any warnings apply but let me know

*

Thomas drummed his fingers against his thigh, barely paying attention to whatever video he was watching on his phone. Patton had come up to him in the morning, asking if they could have another movie night, practically pleading with those cartoonishly large eyes. And who was Thomas to deny his heart? It would be a good idea,he had thought at the time. They hadn’t spent time together in weeks, except when the Sides came together to help him with his dilemmas. It was a good way to make the others feel accepted and part of the group after years of rejection. It also offered him a chance to finally say he something he had been planning on months. There was never a right time, except now there was.

It had not been a good idea. Thomas was alone in the living room, waiting for everyone to show up and sure enough, Virgil appeared next to him and took a seat. Having Virgil with him actually did more to calm his nerves than Thomas would have imagined. After all, all Virgil was the only one who knew what Thomas planned to do tonight. He put a firm hand on Thomas’s knee, causing him to stop bouncing his leg.

“You okay?” asked Virgil.

“Yup,” lied Thomas.

“Yes, I can feel how okay you are,” he remarked wryly and removed his hand. “Thomas, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” And Thomas knew that, of course he did. It wasn’t life or death. It wasn’t an obligation. But again, wasn’t it though?

“No, I want to tell him. I just don’t know what I will do if he doesn’t…reciprocate.”

“A, you won’t know that unless you ask. B, what’s the worst that could happen? That he might like you the way you want to? You know Patton is never going to stop loving you.” Virgil shifted. “You know the last thing I want to do is pressure you ,Thomas, but it has been painful watching your pining. I believe you should get it over with.”

Thomas snorted. “Rip it off like a bandage?”

“Would you rather use Princey or Logan’s methods?” challenged Virgil. Thomas’s mind filled with dozens of images, of all the ways he could he could ask out Patton. He thought back to the day and decided he was not going to kill a dragon as a part of some grand gesture. How would he even find a dragon. Or worse, ask Patton to copulate with him, dear God. He shuddered.

“Thought so,” said Virgil. “Now relax, Patton’s coming.”

“How do you know?”

He didn’t answer, walking up to the door. As if on cue, Patton rose up there, along with Roman and Logan. They were holding each of his hands and Thomas frowned. Virgil was quick to steal him away, muttering “I’ll take it from here”. Patton laughed but followed him. Thomas thought he was going to find them the furthermost corner but instead he brought Patton to Thomas, saying they should sit together tonight, not so subtly giving him a Look. The same look the other two sides were giving him. He blushed. Thomas did not appreciate being treated like a doll in a little girl’s Barbie game but he didn’t have the energy or heart to say so. And after all, wasn’t this what he wanted.

He blushed even more when he got a real look at Patton. He was wearing his usual cat onesie but his face was littered with fake stars and clouds and the prettiest blush. He had light pink lip-gloss on and small fruit earrings dangling on each side. They should have looked ridiculous with everything else but Patton had a way of making silly look enticing. Thomas looked away, afraid if he kept staring he would never be able to stop.

“Pat,” said Thomas. “You look…nice.”

Patton lit up at his compliment, smiling brightly. “Thanks! Roman and Logan offered to do my make-up,” he gushed. “Isn’t it lovely?” Thomas almost expected him to a twirl.

“Really?” He raised his eyebrows at Logan.

“I merely suggested the stars,” clarified Logan.

“And they ended up completing the look,” said Roman. “Don’t sell yourself short, Specs.”

Thomas smiled at that. It pleased him to know his Sides still hung out even after their job was done. He only wished he was part of their world. Janus and Remus came in not long after and the rest of the night was a blur. He wasn’t really watching the movie to be honest, head filled with the anticipation of what he planned to do tonight. It could go wrong in so many ways. Or it could go so, so right and then what? It didn’t help that Patton was sitting SO close to him, slowly moving even closer.

One moment he was watching Pagemaster and the next he was waking up Patton shaking up. He blinked.

“Hey, Thomathy,” said Patton, in his “good morning” tone. It wasn’t morning, was it? He looked around and no one else was there. “Uh, yeah. They all left,” Patton explained. “You fell asleep pretty early, Tommy. Were you that tired?”

“I guess,” shrugged Thomas. He wouldn’t be surprised if he was.

‘Welp, I gotta go now,” Patton said. “It’s late and I think you should go to bed too.” He started to sink down. I guess this is my chance.

“Patton, wait!”

The moral side popped back up. “Yeah?”

Thomas hesitated. “I..uh…I was wondering if I could come with you tonight.”

“With me?’

“Yes. To your room.”

“My room?” Patton stepped closer to him. “Thomas, do you not remember the last time you were there? I don’t want you to get lost in the nostalgia again.”

“That’s not going to happen this time,” said Thomas, with certainty. “I’m not going to get lost because I am not looking to escape anything.” In a moment of boldness, he took Patton’s hand. “I just…want to spend more time with you Patton. I feel like we haven’t been doing that since the wedding debacle.” But he started to let go. “If you don’t want to...”

“No!” Patton was quick to take his hand back. “Of course I want to spend time with you.” And that was that.

-------------------------------------------------------

Patton’s room was different than he remembered. Well, for one, it actually looked a bedroom instead of a Kidz Bop version of his living room. It felt different, too. Still very happy, nostalgic, but less intense. Less overwhelming.

Patton had changed into more comfortable, sleepy-time clothes with a snap. Thomas was relieved to know that they had different clothes and not just different versions of the same outfit like a cartoon character. He had then then proceeded to give Thomas a little “tour”, excitedly telling him all the things that had changed and the new memories that were added to his room. Even though Thomas was surrounded by Patton, quite literally, every single in this room belonged to Thomas. Because Patton was his heart and he was incapable on letting go anything Thomas cherished. He couldn’t take it anymore.

“I love you!” Thomas blurted out. Then quickly covered his mouth. He hadn’t meant to say it so soon, without easing Patton into this.

Patton blinked at him. “I love you too, silly.”

Thomas sighed. “No, Pat, I love you. As in, I want to hold you and kiss your face for hours.” And there it was.

“Oh,” said Patton, voice conveying very little emotions. Everything in him was telling Thomas to get out of here and forget this ever happened. Pray that Patton would forget it too. “Wait, you like me!”

Thomas frowned. “Uh, yes, that’s what I said. Look, I am sorry. We can pretend I never said that.” Please don’t let this change things I have only just got you back I can’t lose you again.

“That’s why the others were so…weird,” continued Patton, like Thomas hadn’t said anything. “The looks they were giving us. Why roman insisted he should do my make-up, like he was getting me ready for a date. All the times Virgil insisted that I wasn’t wrong for feeling this way. You like me!”

“I love you,” corrected Thomas. Patton threw away whatever stuffed toy he was holding and attacked Thomas with a hug.

“I love you too!” He exclaimed. “You need to know that I will love in whatever you want me too, Thomas. Oh, I’m so happy can I kiss you?”

Thomas went red. “Yes, please.”

Patton took his face in his hands, giving him a quick, gentle, unbearably soft kiss. It was over too soon, and Thomas a little disappointed but it was overshadaowed by all the joy he was feeling now. It was everything Thomas had imagined it would be.

“So,” started Thomas. “What now?”

“Let’s just go to sleep for now,” Patton smiled. “We have all the time in the world to discuss what this means."

[kanene-yaaay]

Tickle me, princey

Kanene’s note: This fic is basically: Virgil is a bratty Lee, Roman is a competitive Ler and none of them are going down without a fight xDD.

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* Lee!Virgil and Ler!Roman (Kind of. Because there is almost no tickles here, just teasing). Human AU.

* Hmmm… This is a Tickle-Fanfic! If you don’t like this kind of stuff, please look for another blog, there are plenty of amazing art in this site!! ‘u’).

* This have about 2.500 words of Roman and Virgil just being teasy beans.  ‘w’)b.

* PLEASE CHECK THIS AMAZING ART! IT’S INCREDIBLEE! <33

* Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! I didn’t proofread that one very well, so I will probably be correcting a few things later. Any advice is always very, very welcome!

* A versão em português brasileiro irá ser escrita, ainda. Eu espero! Thankys for reading, my lollipops! Do something crazy today, take a good rest, be kind (especially with yourself) and drink water! Byeioo!~

                              [~*~]

Roman cleaned his hands on his jeans before stretching his back and sighing in relief when a small ‘pop’ came from it. The pal from the nearby library was a cool person – not that he would ever allow the other to hear this, because, damn, people who called Roman cocky definitely haven’t met them yet – but equally precise in get on his nerves with as few words as possible, even though the florist didn’t care that much as his dramatics discourses tried to convince everyone he did. 

Besides that, they was Patton’s friend and even more important, they made an accord with the Flower Shop’s owner and Roman was the one in charge to deliver their biweekly floral arrangement to the library’s decór. However, today Roman managed to win their discussion and therefore a couple of podcast episodes read by them (What? Their voice was quite nice!!).

Roman ignored the small ring of the door’s bell as he entered the Flower Shop, looking around to be sure there was no clients before taking his position behind the balcony, internally thanking how chill Patton was with his employees using phone during the shift as long there wasn’t no one near, especially as he unlocked his screen and a new notification popped in front of him.

Butterflies went immediately crazy on his stomach.

[Message from Panic! At Everywhere]

[P: Hey. So, are you still ok?]

Virgil kicked his blanket out of his bed, already feeling a tad of giddiness spread across his body, a small smirk finding its way to his face without him even realizing. Today was the day. Since when he and Roman talked on the last week about boundaries to be sure nothing had changed and decided Saturday as a good day for their session the one with purple hair couldn’t help but let his thoughts wander, picturing and re-picturing what would happen, even though Roman always insisted to never tell him his plans, wanting to keep everything as a surprise, which definitely didn’t help at all the excitement running on his veins.

Their session.

Their tickle session. It was only eleven in the morning and Virgil could already feel his skin tingle just by imagine Roman’s fingers grazing, dancing on it, carefully looking for all his weak spots both knew so well before coming with an entire new technique that would make the other (almost, barely, hardly) want to jump out of his skin so he could escape from the maddening tickly sensation.

He was going to love it. 

Also, it didn’t help that he spent the previous night and its following morning consuming all his favorite tickle content, dying on the spot (and on the reblogs) and skyrocketing his lee mood to the mountains.

Nevertheless, he tried to play nonchalant as answered the other’s new message.

[Message from Dumb(o)]

[D: Yes.]

[P: Cool.]

[D: You?]

[P: Yep.]

[D: Glad to know, Blushy Bug. Try to not alarm all of our neighborhood with your squeals and giggles before I get there, okay? ~

D: And yeah, plu-e-ase, continue with your so delightful tags on your reblogs, okay, Tickle me Emo? I’m learning so much new information with that. If only I would have an opportunity to use all of them today…]

Virgil snorted, one hand trying to hide his face as he attempted with all his might to ignore the flames taking over his cheeks as the teases sank and the memories from the day he conquered this nickname emerged from the deeps of his mind. So, Princey was already so over his head with being the ler this time? Thinking Virgil would be hiding his face on the pillow, squeaking and tittering helpless? Well, he would have a big storm coming, then.

Virgil got up, his footsteps leading him to the clean desk in the room, moving some of the objects so carefully chosen in order to get the perfect picture. Every single makeup  brush lined, gleaming under the lens of his camera, away enough so the viewer would be able to realize all their individualities but close enough to create an impact. 

Two can play this game.

[Panic! At Everywhere sent an image]

Roman clicked on it, eyes going immediately wide as he quickly slammed the cellphone’s screen on his red apron, his gaze running from a place to another to be sure no one was near or had seen the conversation or noticed the way his smile went from an ear to another.

[P: Nah. I’m too occupied choosing the perfect tools for today… I mean, there are just so many options, ya know? I especially prefer the smallest ones, their bristles softly running on my ribs, tracing their way across my tummy to get to the other side… yeah. That is the good stuff. Or maybe we could be experimenting the biggest ones today, letting them tease that spot right under my chin, the softness engulfing all the nerves… ]

Roman took a deep breath, realizing the other still typing.

[P: Anyway, don’t make a big deal of this, ‘kay? I know your imagination can be very fertile but try to not alert Patton with all your blush and twitching. You know he is a curious guy and will want to know why you’re so smiley. ;)]

    “Pai amado, (Dear God) he is going to kill me.” Roman crossed his arms, using all his will to no start wiggling them to nothing, a sudden urge to sing some nursery rhymes making him begin to humming quietly as attempted to gather enough concentration to type a proper, cool reply.

[D: Is that so? So, the big, badass Virgil Storm is excited to get all his tickly-tickle-tickles today? Is he excited to become a so helpless, so adorable mess of giggles and squeaks? To be teased and tickled until he can do nothing but give me those lovely snorts and wiggly-wiggles? ~

Awww. So cute. ~]

[P: Yeah, I am. So what? Wanna do something about that, Sir Sing a Lot? 

Ops, I forgot you’re at work rn. Tsc. Such a pity. Well, guess I will have to kill some time by looking at your precious collection of feathers, see if I find something interesting there.]

[D: You just wait for when I get home.]

[P: :)]

Virgil laid his phone at his side, hiding his face on the mattress, kicking just like he was some teenager in love from those generic movies. The squeals bubbled out from his lips, smiles blooming. He knew he probably was just digging his own grave, but, ha, as if he would fall without a fight. Plus, imagining Roman trying at every cost to keep a straight expression while reading his texts and then struggling to continue his work just as if nothing had happened, with that cute, excited smile planted on his face made a proud wave of power – and joy - hit him and that was a bonus which was worth it. 

Then his phone vibrated, indicating a new notification and a new flood of shivers as he unlocked his screen, freezing for a couple of heartbeats with the length of the message.  

[D: A poem for my dear Knightmare. ~

Once upon a time

There was a wiggley-wiggly lee

That just a few pokes

Made him giggle with glee

Some scribbles here

Some scratches there

You can tickle-tickle

He is ticklish everywhere!

What, you don’t believe me?

‘That much cute he can’t be!’

Well, then allow me to demonstrate

All the beautiful sounds he can create!

Give a few prodding on his ribs

And a quick digging on his hips

Some brushes on his toesies and feet

And don’t forget about these helpless pits!

(And hey, psst, if you squeeze his sides

The cutie, squeaky, wiggly lee,

Will be squealing in a happy delight)

This neck is also asking for tickly-kisses 

He always denies, always desire

Add to that some teasy whispers

And watch his cheeks be set on fire!

Once upon a time

There was a bratty, smug lee

That just a few tickle teases

Can make him a blushy mess

Just like now, you see!]

[…]

“Have a nice day. Thank you for coming!”

Roman waved to the client who got out from the Flower Shop, taming the smugness which threatened to take over his features as he realized that even though an hour had passed, no answer to his last text had arrived yet. He was perfectly aware of how weak Virgil was for any sort of rhymed tease and a whole poem – not his best, he had to admit – dedicated to him? He could almost see the other shrieking, hiding his red face on the pillow, lost in a mess of quiet peals of laughter and curses. His smile got even bigger, swelled in pride. And, well, if he couldn’t help it but push his luck a few inches further, his fingers already halfway to typing a small, itsy bitsy, new tease to his favorite emo lee, how could someone really blame him?

[D: Oh, sorry. Did I make the scary Virgil too much flustered to talk? Awww, I will miss your sassy remarks deeply and sing a ballad in your honor at the funeral. ~] 

He snorted at the amount of time the symbol of ‘typing’ appeared and disappeared on the conversation, using the ten minutes he took to be answered to organize a few sales signs on the glass in front of the store, gaining a dance on his step as the one-worded sentence shone on his phone.

[P: Bitch.]

[D: I have no idea of what you’re talking about. Is that something I said? I feel wounded.]

But a new thing popped up.

[Panic! At Everywhere sent a video]

[P: :)]

It seemed like hours passed, even if he knew the downloading probably didn’t really take more than a few pieces of minute for him to hit the play.

The focus of the camera took a few seconds to adjust, the image trembling and shaking before going still, the crystal clear form of a small light brown, slightly spiked feather twirling between Virgil’s index and thumb locking his eyes on the screen. A quick, quiet sigh could be heard before the tickle tool descended to the palm extended on a desk, stopping by Virgil’s pulse.

The bristles grazed the skin there as the feather began to move on slow strokes, going from the left to the right, left and right, left and right… calmly making its way up, changing to small swirls as it contorted the form of the hand, giving to each finger a light tracing before concentrating on the palm, drawing a spiral which approximated inch by inch to the center. If Roman wasn’t so quiet, - even holding his breath, - maybe he wouldn’t be able to listen the incredibly low, contained huffs of laughter on the background, a soft snort escaping and making both hands tremble as the bristles hit the center of his hand, dancing around the spot for a bit. 

When it stopped, the tool was placed on the desk and then the camera started to move, stopping on Roman’s so very well-known golden with silver details box. Its lid laid next to it, letting its entire content to be proudly shown. The explosion of colors from the most diverse large, small, pointy, fluffy feathers took over the frame, however, a tiny piece of paper placed on the exact center of them was what captured his attention. The lens zoomed and focused, making him able to read the quick message written there.

“:)”

And then the screen went black. The video was over. 

Roman could feel his face being almost split in half by his grin, his fingers hitting the table top in complete frenzy since they hadn’t to hold the device anymore, curling and uncurling as the one who couldn’t just stay still started to bounce his right leg, ignoring the redness he felt crippling down his neck.

“Roman?”

He fully shrieked. Both him and Patton startled and jumped a few centimeters in the air with the sudden sound. The florist slapping his own hand on his mouth, trying with all his inner strength to stop the bubbly giggles which flooded non stop from his lips

“Sorry for the scare, kiddo,” the shine on his eyes free of any guilt as Patton bit his own knuckles proved the contrary, especially when the rest of an awed squeal escaped from his lips, only making the other to giggle harder, eyes closed, blush deepening and nose scrunched. “Aww, your giggles are so cute!” 

“Shuhuhush!!” The Flower Shop owner just smiled fondly, withholding his comments and patiently waiting for the other to recompose himself. When Roman looked at least a tad calmer he decided to make his decision to talk to him clear.

“I’m glad you’re in a good mood, Ro! I just wanted to remember today’s shift is already over. I need a bit of time to organize everything before the painter comes so we can discuss the new design of the Flower Shop. Thank you so much for the ideas, by the way! I can’t wait for you all to see the result! It will be so pretty!!” Roman’s wide eyes were enough of an explanation of why he wasn’t ready to go yet, probably having forgotten about their last month conversation. Although, the surprised look was away in an instant, a shine taking over his glare before he softened, locking his eyes with Patton.

“Of course, it will be, Patty-cake! With my magnificent ideas and your good taste, I really don’t think any other result besides wonderful and perfection will be possible!” He squeezed Patton’s cheeks and his friend stuck out his tongue at him, winning a quick poke on his ribs that made him squirms and yelp, quickly tittering and waving the other with his hands.

“Now shoo-shoo, go enjoy your afternoon!”

A devious smirk gleamed on Roman’s expression for a second. “You can count on it, Padre.” But then it was gone as quickly as it appeared. “Thank you, my mighty hero in a shiny armor! May the universe let our destiny align again in the future.”

“See ya, kiddo!” He replied, his tune also full of joy, watching the one with red hair going away, a happy bounce on his steps.

[…]

Virgil picked the phone in the first ring. “Roman, something happened?”

“Nope,” the purple lover sighed in relief, all the tension getting out of his body and being replaced by confusion, “nothing happened except that a handsome, incredible someone got out from his work earlier than expected and might be heading his home by now.”

That made Virgil shot up, biting his lower lip, butterflies freaking out. “No.” It was his whisper.

“Oh, yes. ~” Roman practically purred on the speaker. “any last words, my dear, defenseless Giggly Storm?”

Virgil just giggled and Roman had almost forgotten how that sound only was enough to spread an explosion of a warm, good feeling on his chest. “Aw, and here I was thinking I would have at least some challenge today. ~” He continued to tease.

Silence. 

“Go check your messages, Princeypie.”

And then he hung up. Roman fondly rolled his eyes, running to check the new notification on their conversation.

[Panic! At Everywhere sent a photo]

It was Virgil, sitting on his bed criss crossed, one elbow resting on his thigh as he took the picture on the body mirror on the other side of the room, a strong blush very visible on his face half hidden by the device, wearing a short and Roman’s red crop top. A new message popped right under the photo.

[P: Get your butt here and tickle me, Sir Sing a Lot.’]

This emo was going to be the death of him.

[D: Aww, I don’t even get a smile?]

[P: You gotta work for those, Princey.]

Virgil definitely did not jump nor yelp as he heard the low, dangerous tune of an “evil” laughter echoes in the house coming from the living room, the sound of the front door being closed making his flight instincts kick in.

“Oh, don’t worry.” Virgil was already halfway to the most far away room where he could escape, trying to keep his reputation as he heard another set of footsteps quickly getting ground and following right behind him. Laughter and squeaks mixed in the air.

“Because I will.” Roman answered.

[delimeful]

not always what they seem

finished g/t space au commission for @legendsgates ! it was super fun to work on, i hope everyone enjoys!

warnings: dehumanization, treating people like animals, abduction, miscommunication, remus being remus, deceit, misguided but good intentioned light sides

-

“Hey, kid, wake up.” 

Virgil groaned, shifting to his side. It was still dark, why was someone bothering him? 

“There you go. It’s a great day outside, open your eyes already.” 

Wait. He lived alone. Who was talking to him?

Visions of chatty burglars or insane door to door salesmen breaking and entering flashed before his eyes, and he jerked upright with a gasp, eyes flying open. 

Darkness. He couldn’t see a thing. “What?” 

Virgil nearly poked himself in the eye in his haste to check his face for a blindfold. He should be able to see plenty; there was an annoying streetlamp just under his apartment window. Had he spontaneously gone blind? Had he been kidnapped? Was he in a trunk, slowly suffocating to death? 

“Hey, calm down. Everything’s going to be fine, don’t pass out on us now.” 

A burst of unhinged, echoing laughter nearly cut off the end of the sentence, and chills ran down Virgil’s spine. “Oh god. Look, I take terrible care of my body, you don’t want my organs, I promise.”

There was an aggrieved sigh nearby. Virgil hesitantly reached his hands out to feel the space around him. It didn’t feel like a car trunk. He was sitting up just fine. 

“I don’t think we’re being trafficked, but if we were, you’d be pleading your case to the wrong guy. I’m in the same situation as you.” A dull knocking accompanied the words. “Unfortunately.”

Virgil carefully turned his body to face the direction of the voice, squinting in case he could make out any sign of an attack. “...Right, sure. Care to fill me in on what-- what exactly that situation is?” 

The stranger only seemed sardonically amused at the bite in his voice. “We’re trapped in a room. There’s glass walls dividing the room into sections. There’s a little bit of light coming in through the roof, your eyes will adjust soon. That’s all I’ve got. Remember anything from before you woke up?” 

 Virgil shoved down the rising panic, rising to a tentative crouch with his arms outstretched for balance. He’d been… What had he been doing? “I… I don’t know.”  

Another sigh. “Yes, I assumed so.” The outline of a silhouette seemed to be coming into focus. Unless Virgil was just imagining things. “Thank you so much for being helpful.”   

He bristled at the tone, but before he could respond, another giggling laugh reverberated around them. 

“Don’t fret so much, figments,” a new, somewhat nasally voice said cheerily. “I’m sure your terrible and inevitably gory deaths will only hurt for as long as the dream lasts.” 

Virgil took a long, shaky inhale. “What the fuck.” 

“‘The fuck’ is Remus, the third occupant in our room. As far as I can tell, he believes this is all a hallucination brought on by sleep paralysis. Best to just ignore him,” the first stranger advised dryly. 

“I’m still ignoring you back,” ‘Remus’ returned in a singsong. Virgil almost couldn’t blame him. He’d really rather wake up and realize this was all a dream, too. 

He wasn’t going to bet on it, though. He stumbled forwards, feeling the walls for a door, a switch, anything. 

“Do you think I’m an idiot?” the unnamed stranger scorned. “I’ve already checked everything that could be checked. Nothing’s going to happen--” 

His voice was cut off by three quick, consecutive beeps from somewhere above their heads. Virgil turned his head this way and that, searching for an intercom or mechanical device nearby. “What’s that?” 

Neither stranger answered, and Virgil realized that this was something new just as one side of the room began to slide upwards like a garage door. He raised a hand as bright light poured into the room, backing up as far as he could. In the corner of his vision, another person was doing much the same.

Something large moved outside the room, its shadow falling on them and making it a little less difficult to see. 

Unfortunately, what he was seeing was impossibly horrifying enough to be real.

A huge figure, like a giant from a children’s fairytale, was visible from the torso up. It was wearing something close to a full body hazmat suit, its inhuman face visible behind a pane of red-tinted glass. Piercing red eyes were placed just slightly too far apart, and a shiny black shell covered the bottom of its face like a curved medical mask.

It leaned closer, and Virgil recoiled harshly enough to slam his back into the corner of the room. The eyes settled on him for a moment, before flicking over to the other occupants. Adrenaline surged through him, but there was nowhere to channel it. He couldn’t flee, and there was no way he could fight. He was helpless.

In the section next to Virgil, a short man dressed in formal wear stood carefully still. He was meeting eyes with the monster, his expression neutral and still. Where Virgil had felt like a deer in the headlights, this man acted more like a snake assessing prey. The only sign that he was unsettled was the white knuckled fists at his sides.

The monster made an unsettling sound, like a hum interspersed with clicks, and then turned its attention to the only human still laying on the ground, presumably Remus. A few rigid plates along its forehead twitched downward, and it chittered at Remus. 

Virgil caught what looked like mandibles protruding from under its face plate, and felt lightheaded. 

“Remus, I suggest you look alive,” the snakelike man muttered, attention still locked on the huge creature. Remus didn’t respond, though whether it was because of the monster or because he was still ignoring them was anyone’s guess.

A moment later, the monster reached up with a limb, the suit glove doing nothing to conceal the creature’s spindly, clawed fingers, arranged like an osprey’s talons. It tapped the glass between them, and Virgil was abruptly reminded of a child at an aquarium. The ‘room’ they were captive in was a mere box to this being. An enclosure.

Remus finally sat up, stretching lanky arms as though it was a normal morning. He cocked his head at the monster, squinting. “What are you looking at, you big bitch?” 

Virgil inhaled sharply through his teeth, but the monster didn’t react beyond its forehead plates shifting back up, and before long, it was looking down at a strange grey cube, flicking talons along its surface like it was a touchscreen. 

In his section, Remus had unfolded to his ridiculous full height, and was ambling up to the wall separating them. He smiled, something about it vaguely unhinged. “Hmm, hallucinations aren’t supposed to be this expansive! It’s almost like we’re actually here, captured by giant monsters that are probably going to stick us in a blender for a morning smoothie!” 

The snakelike man rubbed his temples, still holding onto his composure. He didn’t dignify the gory statement with a response, but Virgil was more than happy to. 

“Hey, it was Remus, right?” Virgil asked, and he saw the man nodding enthusiastically in the corner of his vision. “Please shut the hell up.” 

“Never been very good at that!” 

—-

Roman glanced up from the data sheet, watching as the new specimens wandered about and made little noises at each other. He couldn’t help but hum a bit at the sight; the little animals were so charming. 

“Roman!” a familiar voice trilled, and he turned to the lab’s entrance, clicking in greeting at the sight of his partners. Though he’d been uncertain about working with beings from other quadrants at first, they’d managed to overcome most of their original hurdles and now worked smoothly together. There was nobody he’d rather have as his research team, even with the disapproving twitch in Logan’s ears. 

“Dear friends,” he returned, gesturing widely and making all the specimens freeze up again. “I swear I haven’t opened a single sect, only gazed upon our newest finds. You’re going to love them Patton, they have the strangest little noises.” 

The Nilh wasted no time in scampering forwards, just barely prevented from bumping the enclosure by Logan’s tail tugging him back slightly. “Oh, they’ve already started communicating with each other? What about body language, did you have the vidfeed on?”

“Yes, and of course,” Roman gestured with a pointed flourish, “I have also followed procedures and had the cam on since I entered the lab, treasured nerds.”

Logan’s hand flicked in an exasperated gesture, but his ears were no longer angled down, so Roman counted it as a win. Patton tugged the Glanrim closer by the tail, using his multitude of hands to push him into his spot. “Look, Lo! I think this one is threat displaying at me! They’re all acting so differently, it’s going to be so exciting to figure out what sort of sounds they use!” 

Despite his professional demeanor, Logan’s eyes all widened with excitement as he bent slightly to inspect their samples. “There’s quite a variety in patterns and sizes as well,” he observed, voice low and resonant. The little creatures all seemed to stiffen at it. “I would almost believe them different species entirely if not for the similar body structure.” 

“They’ve even got little primitive outfits, see?” Roman pointed towards the calm one in the middle, eyeing the seams. “There must be a bonding purpose for it, like how some mammalian animals will use pigment-dyes for enhancing appearance to attract mates. The real question is, how did they all end up looking so different? Which one is closest to the traits that make one desirable?” 

“I don’t see any reason we can’t find out!” Patton responded brightly. “We’ve got three samples, one for each of us, so what say we each get started on recording all the information we can!”

“We only have three specimens, so it’s important that we don’t push too far with any of them. This is only preliminary work,” Logan cautioned. “That said, I agree. The sooner we begin, the better.” 

“I’ll take the yellow one!” Roman immediately chimed in, his wings vibrating slightly inside his suit. 

—

“There’s three of us, and three of them, so of course they’re going to eat us.” Remus remained blithely oblivious to Virgil’s glower. “It’s lucky there’s not one more, otherwise we’d have to rock-paper-scissors on who gets torn in half.” 

Of course, this was the moment that the monsters stopped their odd, chitter-click-buzz noises to turn back to the container, and the first monster, the red one, began to fiddle with the side of the glass. Virgil started to breathe heavily as there was mechanical clicking around them, and then the ground under their feet shifted slightly. 

Without another second of suspense, Red reached under the box and slid the middle section out like a book from a shelf. The man in formalwear went with it, stumbling slightly and pressing against the glass for balance. 

“Oh hey, you got the freaky insect one,” Remus said, waving cheerily. “Hope your death is really cool and gory! Try not to make it cooler or gorier than mine though!” 

“Very helpful,” the man hissed through gritted teeth, his eyes slightly panicked. Virgil stumbled forwards to the front of his section as though he could reach the other human through the glass, terror chilling him. It was a pointless gesture, but as he was carried out of sight, the man offered him a nod anyways. 

Remus seemed to be unfortunately correct about them being split up, since next the one with the six arms and rocky skin pried the tall man’s section out and left with it as well. That left Virgil with the last one, a monster whose face was covered in neat fur and long whiskers. It looked at him with way too many eerie slitted pupils, and Virgil couldn’t help but compare it to a predatory big cat. Maybe several predatory big cats.

Its gaze was nothing compared to its size, of course, and Virgil couldn’t help but drop to a crouch, curling in on himself as gloved hands curled around the glass box he was stuck in and lifted it with ease.  

The floor of the box was transparent, and he stared at the dizzying drop to the floor the whole transferring process. When there was finally solid ground beneath him again, he looked up and found that his box had been placed on a sterile, shining counter. 

Before he could get much of a read on his surroundings, a shadow darkened the floor around him, and he barely got to flinch before cool fingers were descending on him, lifting him from the box. 

The hold was firm and clinical; his arms pinned to his sides, and a finger under his chin to prevent biting. The pressure on his throat was just slightly too much, and Virgil let out a choked cough, struggling to breathe through his panic. 

Thankfully, it only lasted for a moment. In the next, he was released, and his hands and knees met a solid surface. He scrambled to his feet, glancing around. 

The bad news was that he was out of the relative safety of the glass box. The worse news was that he appeared to be in a warped version of a hedge maze, walls and corners twisting around him. The worst news was that the monster was still present, and now it was manipulating some kind of square device. 

A heartbeat later, the walls around him started to buzz ominously, making the hair on the back of his neck rise up as he pictured every Saw movie he’d ever seen. 

“Fuuuuck this,” he muttered, shifting to his feet and starting down the nearest path. He alternated between making sure he didn’t get too close to the walls and making sure the monster hadn’t moved or otherwise acted suspiciously. The creature was watching him unerringly every time he looked up, and having all those eyes on him didn’t help his increasing unease at all.

As he turned a corner, he was faced with something new, and automatically ducked away in case it was going to start shooting at him. The small orb continued to sit in the middle of the path innocently, at just the right height to take out someone’s achilles heel. 

Virgil shuddered and turned around, backtracking to the last fork in the path. He wasn’t messing with monster traps, no fucking way. 

Above him, the monster seemed to sigh slightly.

—-

“... just too timid,” Logan was saying when Patton re-entered the main area of the lab. “The specimen didn’t engage in a single puzzle during our session, not even one.” 

“What a puzzling situation!” Patton chimed in, carefully slotting his own specimen unit back into the container. Inside, the little creature continued to make a bizarre assortment of calls, not even in Patton’s direction. 

Logan exhaled shortly. “Am I to assume that your insistence on wordplay means that you had greater successes than us?”

“Well, you could go with that, but you know what they say about assuming!” he replied, tucking a pair of arms behind his back as he wandered over to the others. “The little guy seemed pretty aggressive, so I tried to see if there were any specific threat calls I could make out, but… it almost never repeated. Either they have very complex body language that I’m missing or my little friend is a few sticks short of a tree!”

The other two looked disheartened, and the linguist glanced over at Roman. “You two didn’t have any luck, either?” 

“No. My specimen barely participated in the trials I set up, and so I haven’t discerned what level of intelligence we are working with yet,” Logan gritted out, ears flat.

Patton tilted his head slightly. “Not even the treat ball? Most sentient life forms have no trouble with that one.” 

“No, no interaction at all. It may be worth looking for more compelling bait…” 

Roman cut in, antennae flicking in displeasure. “Anyways, mine was uncooperative too! I was trying to get a few samples of their outer shells to see what the fabric is constructed of, but it was so resistant after just one layer that I started getting worried that maybe removing any more would actually harm it.” 

“Good. Better not to risk damaging them.” Logan turned to the units, nose twitching as he thought. “There are other non-invasive tests we can try, but results might shift if we try different samples for different tests.” 

Roman click-buzzed in complaint. “That could take forever, though! We’re supposed to be coming up with significant research, not trading specimens around!” 

“Maybe, instead, we could observe all of them at the same time,” Patton suggested, getting both of his teammates’ attention. “After all, isn’t controlled engagement with multiple specimens one of the tests?”

Roman and Logan exchanged a look, before the latter inclined his chin, slowly. “It’s worth an attempt, at least. Just watch carefully for any signs of aggression. They can’t harm us, but they could certainly harm each other.”

---

By the time the monsters finally decided to put them all in a penned-in space with each other, Virgil was almost too exhausted to be worried. Almost.

He shuffled away from where the three bizarre creatures were looming over them, but carefully remained out of grabbing distance from the other two humans. He wasn’t stupid; he barely knew these people.

“Aliens,” Remus greeted them, holding his hands up in an exaggerated pose. “I’ve totally cracked it.” 

“You’ve totally cracked,” Virgil shot back, but most of his attention was on the well-dressed man. Or, formerly well-dressed, since now he appeared to have had all top layers except his undershirt removed. “Hey, what happened?” 

“Oh, is it not obvious?” the man hissed, arms crossed tightly. “I’ve been robbed. Clearly, this must all have been an elaborate mugging for my blazer and button up.”

Remus cackled. “Yeah right! That suit is cheap as hell!”

The man rolled his eyes, and Virgil couldn’t help but notice the way he was shaking. It didn’t seem like a fear shake, not with this man’s demeanor. “Okay, but are you okay? You seem, uh, cold.” 

“Of course I’m not cold. Why ever would a half-dressed, anemic man in a glass box be cold?” the man snapped. One of the aliens moved slightly, and their gazes all flickered up for a moment. 

Once it became clear no grabbing was happening, Virgil sighed lowly, pulling at his zipper and shifting the sleeves of his hoodie off. “You’re kind of a bitch, huh?” 

The man snapped his head around, opening his mouth to deliver a scathing retort, but Virgil interrupted him by tossing the hoodie at his face. “Excuse m-- oof!”

“Don’t spill anything on it,” Virgil muttered, ignoring the man’s perplexed stare. “You can pay me back with your name.” 

“... It’s Dee.”

---

“Did you see that?” Patton bounced on his toes, tugging at Roman’s talons. “It gave away it’s covering!” 

“Astonishing,” Roman replied, not tearing his eyes away. “Is it a social hierarchy thing? Did you see any familiar dominance displays?” 

“I… didn’t, actually,” Patton replied, face scrunching in perplexion. “Maybe this one is less attached?” 

“No.” They both turned to Logan, whose eyes had gone wide. “It was an act of assistance. The yellow specimen was shaking, likely from temperature exposure due to losing some of it’s covering. It was… kindness.” 

“Woah, what?” Roman clicked, antennae perking up. “But that would mean--” 

“Look!” 

At Patton’s cry, they all watched as the other specimen seemed to attack, almost jumping forwards to intervene. At the last moment, Patton’s arms pulled them back. “No, wait!” 

Though the small, gangly creature had flopped onto the shorter one, the action seemed to elicit no pained cry or battle screech, only mild grumbles as the two readjusted in their impromptu pile. The one that had given away its covering made a face before carefully folding into a sitting position as well, a seat that kept it between the aliens and the other specimens. 

“These specimens were all pulled from different locations,” Logan half-stated, half-asked. Roman nodded, eyes wide. “They can’t be nestmates. What in the galaxy is this?”

“They’re sapient,” Patton blurted, a hand pressed to his mouth. “The sounds, they’re too complex because they’re not calls, they’re words. Language.”

“Language? But, the planet was said to only contain primitive lifeforms!” Roman protested, wings flaring up in agitation. “You’re telling me… Oh man.” 

“The heat sharing, the communication, even the extreme caution shown in unfamiliar circumstances,” Logan spoke slowly, as though warming up to the idea. “It… does seem to be a potential explanation.”

They all looked back to the tiny bipeds, now seeing their every action in a new light. 

“Well, there’s only one way to be sure,” Patton said, lifting up a hand and waving it slowly in a generic friendly gesture. “We’ll just have to figure it out for ourselves, using our own judgement.” 

After a long moment, one of the specimens-- no, aliens-- waved back. 

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

*Cackling* Now rank your ot3's!

*long sigh*

SECTION 1:

Yes, there are sections, this is a list of 20 things. I like to be organized. These ones I seek out. I like them. I actively enjoy them on purpose.

1. Roloceit: My BOYS. Are these my 3 favorites? perhaps. You can't prove anything (you sure can, just look at my goddamn Ao3). Something about the dynamics here is just...so good for me? The combination of fluff/angst/multi-talented braincells is wonderful. I need these three to watch a documentary and tear it to absolute pieces. Also they would be so good at...actually having methods of supporting each other??? I love them.

2. Analogince: in the same vein, the SNARK. THE SASS. THE GROUPCHAT THAT WE ALL KNOW EXISTS THAT IS SOO OVERLOADED WITH SALT THAT IT'S A DEHYDRATION RISK. Also healthy communication??? supportive signifs??? good shit

3. Anxcietmus: The Dark Sides™. Again, I think these three just get each other. That means great fluff and great angst possibilities ABOUND and especially when it comes to being a menace in the rest of the mindscape. Yes. Good. Have fun.

4. Intruloceit: Someone please make this nerd take a fucking break for once. The chaos of leading what you THINK is a stuck-up buttoned-up nerd only to feel such an odd mixture of pride and mortal terror at discovering a TRUE mad scientist. Yes. Logan deserves to go ape-shit. Let him.

5. Analoceit: Did someone ask for some amused gay judgement? You got the whole scale here, Distinguished, Functional, and Disaster. They don't need the group chat because they can do it with just a look. Perfect. Wonderful.

6. Intruloxiety: slightly less snark, which is why it's ranked lower, but I don't think it would be any less supportive. Between the three of them I think they'd have a conversation about boundaries right up front and constantly be checking in with each other. Which is good!! Please do this!!

7. Loroyality (am i making up some of these names as I go? yes): The Light Sides™! The reason this is ranked lower is because I think they've got some in-canon struggles that would take some time and effort (from errybody) to sort out before I would consider this relationship healthy, but after that? Forget it. We vomiting sushine and rainbows and our teeth hurt from how sweet they are. I have faith in them.

8. Royaliceit: *sniff sniff* did someone say ANGST??? This is the only one I put up here that I mainly look for to get angst because BOY HOWDY. Especially post-POF? Roman you poor thing why do I project so strongly onto you, my god. This is a MESS and they need to do WORK to FIX IT but it's all about the misunderstanding and the healing and oh my god please someone tell Roman his worth is not based on how well his work is received please. Also if you're like me and you subscribe to the headcanon that the last time Patton and Janus agreed on something it was to stay in the closet as long as possible...*choo choo bitches angst town here we come*

SECTION 2:

These ones I don't actively seek out but you know?? For a headcanon post? They seem pretty chill. Haven't devoted a lot of brainpower to 'em, just think they're neat.

9. Moloceit (my keyboard is so confused you guys): Now THIS. THIS is the obnoxious trio of philosophy majors that ALWAYS hog the good library table. Someone will say ONE GODDAMN thing and they'll be talking about ontology and subjectivity for hours. It's impossible to tell whether or not they're being serious when they do it. As a most-definitely-not-a-philosophy-student, no. I mean, yes but no.

10. Anaroceit: you know those fucking divas that strut into the mall like they own the goddamn place? These bastards. They are the Heathers (except actually decent people) and you will not get between them and their purchases. If you come after one of them the other will overprotective the fuck out of them and rip you to shreds. You might be worried sometimes that they're hurting each other but they do actually talk about their boundaries. solid 7/10.

11. Analogicality: (whoa, we're halfway there...): These three just seem like they'd be super domestic. Not that it wouldn't also be adorable, but just kinda...routine? Virgil doesn't like new shit, Logan likes a schedule, and Patton enjoys doing things together in 'traditions.' Some spice but they're all fairly level-headed so...the most they get is screaming out songs with the windows down (WHOA LIVIN' ON A PRAYER)

12: Intrulogicality: You know those scenarios where you got Person A who runs headlong into crazy bullshit, Person B who likes to pretend they're not as into the crazy bullshit as Person A but is, and Person C who gets dragged into shit? There you go.

13: Anxmoceit: I think once they all sat down and had a conversation they might actually be decent??? But I can't stop seeing Patton and Janus coparenting Virgil so it stays platonic in my head. (listen i don't kinkshame but i am aroace, that does limit me a bit when it comes to this bag of nonsense)

14. Intrumoceit: Again, LONG conversation, but it's better to have one crazy dumbass whom you both love but please stop giving up heart attacks every two seconds bb we can't deal with these palpitations. I think this would require SO much work on Patton's end to make this healthy that I can't see it very clearly.

15. Intrumoxiety: This one I put down here because while Janus isn't the best at being straightforward (or straight) he DOES understand himself enough to actually have a productive conversation when he has to. I think Virgil would be too caught up between the dynamic of Patton and Remus for it to be healthy for him, especially at the beginning. It would end up dumping too much of the conflict resolution into his court and uh...no. No thanks. Do I think they COULD make it work? Yes, of course, but I wouldn't seek it out.

16. Anaroyality: Uhhh yeah they exist. Y'all gotta do some work to establish good boundaries but yeah, I think you could do it. Have a makeup day where everybody just fucks shit UP at a Sephora or an Ulta and try crazy looks on each other. You could do it. I believe in you.

SECTION 3:

These are the ones I will actively avoid, more often than not. If they're not handled carefully--which is not the responsibility of other creators, I take full blame, this is just how I personally interpret them--they can squick me out. The ones with Roman and Remus are down here, and as a disclaimer, this isn't because I view poly relationships where not all parties are dating each other as inherently inferior, not at all. I just think that within a relationship where both Roman and Remus are dating the same person, that has the potential to go REAL bad REAL quick.

17. Intrulogince: Do I want to see Roman and Remus playfully competing to win the favor of our favorite nerd? yes. Do I think it would end up aggravating the rivalry they already had to really bad places? Also yes. Either with Roman backing off and internalizing the idea that he's not good enough or by exploding on both of them. It's a bad time. No. That being said, I have seen things where Logan is just spoiled by incredible things made in the Imagination and those are very sweet. a good time.

18. Intruprinxiety (that looks so weird when it's spelled out, oh my god it sounded so much better in my head): Again, exacerbating a pre-existing rivalry, oh dear me, and this time poor Virgil's caught in the middle? a mess. There is also the potential for them to be childhood friends to lovers which would be very sweet but the overlap with all of their combined histories are...a lot of baggage. Like so much.

19. Intruroceit: The only way I can see this happening is Roman's inadequacy issues and abandonment issues going THROUGH THE FUCKING ROOF and it would force Remus into being a pseudo-therapist for them and Janus your habit of messing with Roman needs to gtfo right the fuck now.

20. Intruroyality: is anyone surprised that this one is my least favorite? Between the squicks I get from Patton as a character, the relationship between Patton and both of the twins in canon, and how much baggage Roman and Remus have...no. Absolutely not. I have horrible memories of some very toxic relationships that I can absolutely see here and no.

*phew* that was a long one. you're welcome.

EDIT: thank you @shinekittenace for names seriously this post is a mess