#also cutting off fast food and i’m just gonna cook more

[louiswilliamtomlinsons]

.

[anonymous-dentist]

Or: a pirate au

-

Before having the nerve to turn Roier in to the Navy, Spreen had this to say:

“I have no compassion for anybody.”

And then he had leaned forward and driven both the metaphorical and literal-actual-goddamn sword in between Roier’s ribs, and he had whispered right into Roier’s ringing ear:

“You’re lucky I’m not drowning you.”

And then he had kicked Roier off of his ship and onto the Navy’s, and he had sailed away, free to live and fight another day while leaving his best friend and first mate behind.

But, well. Joke’s on him! It’s been a year since that fateful day, but Roier is alive, and he’s free, and he’s got a gun and a sword and a ship of his own, and he’s gonna make Spreen pay.

But first? Breakfast, and fast. The Navy is after him, and he doesn’t want to get captured this early in the morning. (Foolish would never let it go!)

The Barcoier docks just after sunrise, and Roier is off the ship and speeding down the pier before Jaiden even has the anchor weighed.

The island is small, so small that it’s just a town and some farms and a couple of trees and a single lake smack in the center of it all. It’s so small it doesn’t even have a name, but that just makes it all the better for hiding from the Navy on; if it’s too small to be on a map, it’s too small for those idiots with the Navy to pick up on.

Maybe Roier is a bad pirate captain for leaving his crew to tie up the ship and run errands while he gets everyone breakfast and tries not to get arrested. But also:

(“We need a chef,” Jaiden complains. “No offense, dude, but your cooking sucks.”

Roier sniffs, hurt, but he doesn’t argue. He’s a better chef on land than he is on the water.

“I’ll get us a chef,” he promises. “But only if you-” He pokes Jaiden between the eyes with a corner of his hardtack biscuit. “-get us better food! Nobody can cook with this!”

He smacks his biscuit hard enough against the table to crack it [the table.] Jaiden rolls her eyes, but she shrugs.)

Where there’s a good breakfast, there’s a good chef. And, on an island as tiny as this one is, said chef might just be desperate enough for a change of pace that they’d agree to become a pirate. (It’s how Spreen got Roier, after all.)

How hard can it be?

…Really hard, actually, especially now that the Federation and its Navy are starting to crack down extra hard on pirates. They’ve moved on from life imprisonment to public executions, and all because most of the pirates left on the seas have started to unionize under the guidance of the feared Captain Bad Halo.

But, who knows? Maybe today will be the day!

Maybe…

-

The town’s only restaurant is closed for renovations, but the town’s bakery is open, thank God.

The bakery, much like the town it’s based in, doesn’t have a name. It does, however, have a wooden sign hanging above the door with a donut painted on it. The donut’s center, rather than being a hole, is a bright yellow-irised eyeball. Freaky.

The door jingles like rusted keys as Roier enters. Someone swears from the back room; otherwise, the bakery is entirely empty.

“Coming!” Roier hears.

“No worries!” he responds. “Take your time!”

He doesn’t exactly have time for the baker to take, but he isn’t exactly going to get himself a chef by being rude, is he?

So Roier waits, and he takes the opportunity to look at the display cases by the front counter. Donuts, of course, some muffins. An… abnormal amount of meat pies. Sure? Why not! Every place has its specialties.

A few moments pass, during which Roier starts mentally counting how many of each item he’s gonna need, and then footsteps from the back and an apologetic, “Sorry, I’m just-”

The baker cuts himself off as Roier stands up and looks him over. He’s… handsome, okay. Okay. More importantly, he already looks more piratey than half of Roier’s crew: pierced ear, scar across the bridge of his nose, solid build. Hot.

“You’re a pirate,” the baker says, much calmer than most regular people would be. Good, he’s brave, pirates need to be brave.

Roier leans forward against the counter, propping himself up on his elbows. He smiles, head tilted juuuust so.

“Who, me?” he asks. He shakes his head. “Naaaah. I’m just a regular guy looking for breakfast, you know?”

The baker’s eyes trail over Roier’s head and shoulders like he’s memorizing him. Creepy, kinda. Hot, kinda.

Roier continues, “But I’ve never been here before, so… any recommendations?”

He winks. The baker’s eyes widen slightly, and then he smiles himself and leans himself against the counter, his arms just inches away from Roier’s.

“Well,” he says, “the donuts will last longer on a long trip, if that’s what you’re asking. Everything else has fresh ingredients in it.”

“Who says I’m going on a long trip?”

The baker rolls his eyes and pushes himself off the counter to start unloading donuts into a bag. “Please, nobody actually wants to stay in this shithole. I’m used to tourists.”

He has nice arms. Maybe he even knows how to use a sword already.

“Sooo… you want to leave, too?” Roier asks.

The baker shrugs. “Maybe someday.”

That isn’t a no…

So it’s basically a yes!

Roier beams. “What if today was your someday?”

The baker gives him a flat look. “I’m not a pirate.”

“Maybe I’m not, either. But I do need someone on my ship who knows how to cook, and you wanna get out of here.”

The last donut is dumped into the bag, and the baker ties the bag shut and plops it onto the counter. He leans over it with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m not a chef, either,” he says. “Shouldn’t you be hiring someone that can actually cook, Captain Roier?”

At Roier’s gasp, the baker nods his head towards the wall behind Roier. On it is a bulletin board with wanted posters for nearly every pirate on the seas, Roier included.

Whoops.

Whatever! The baker hasn’t called the authorities yet, so he’s fine.

Roier opens his mouth, ready to try his pitch again, but he’s rudely interrupted by a cannon ball sailing through the bakery’s front window and slamming into a cabinet full of flour.

The room explodes into white, sending both Roier and the baker reeling.

“Fuck!” Roier coughs. He fans the air in front of his face, blinking rapidly to get the flour off of his eyes.

The bakery’s door is slammed open by a heavy boot. Its owner, a Navy officer, follows it in with his sword drawn and pointed at… the baker.

“Hands in the air,” the officer sneers.

Roier looks at the officer. He looks at the baker.

The baker looks at him. The baker looks at the officer.

He raises his hands slowly, holding the donut bag with it for whatever reason.

He looks at Roier again, a small smile on his handsome, yet flour-dusted, face.

“Thank you for having me aboard, captain,” he says.

The officer just then seems to notice Roier, but the poor bastard is just a bit too late because, just as he’s turning around to slash at the very obvious pirate captain in the room, Cellbit chucks the donuts at the idiot’s head. The bag makes contact, and then it makes the officer stumble right into the pointy end of Roier’s sword.

What a shame.

Roier pulls his sword out of the guy’s stomach with a grimace, wiping the blood on the bakery’s shredded window curtains.

He turns to smile at the baker, then.

“Glad to have you aboard…”

“Cellbit,” the baker supplies.

Now, where has Roier heard that name before…?

Whatever! There’s time for that later.

For now, Roier has a ship to get to, and he has a chef to deliver to it.

[yjhariani]

ramadan mubarak my dear.

May you have a successful fast. Also, since you can't eat, Simon will cook for you both in the morning and at night. It starts with a simple sandwhich but now it's more grand (fried rice and meatballs with some viand he had to learned which your culture is famous for).

Simon had been in the kitchen for an hour. In about thirty minutes, the sun would set and you would be able to taste his cooking.

The smell was great though there might be a little bit of something overcooking. There was a cookbook opened on the counter, dirty cooking utensils in the sink, and something happening on the stove.

On the dining table, Simon had plated a little more than just a few food and a little more than just some things to drink. However, he still minded the portions to make it enough just for the both of you. Maybe a little bit of leftovers.

By the way he stood, it seemed Simon had not yet noticed your arrival. He was still contemplating on the stove.

“Are you gonna let me help?” you asked.

“Fuck no,” Simon stated without looking back at you. “Sunset’s still half an hour away. Go do something else.”

“I’m gonna wait and help,” you said as you sat down on one of the chairs.

“I don’t want your help,” Simon insisted.

“Alright, then,” you replied. “I’m just gonna sit here.”

Simon gave no response, but it seemed clear that he was expecting you to say more than just that. After a few seconds, he turned around and looked at you.

“And?” Simon asked.

“And nothing,” you answered. “Though, I’d like to tell you that I really appreciate you taking the time to cook for us.”

“I don’t cook for us, I cook for—”

“This is day fifteen and your cooking is getting better and better. It’s like you’re putting your love into it because I’m eating it all up and left no crumb,” you cut off.

“What?” Simon responded, not expecting you to respond that way.

“It’s like you’re a witch and your cooking is love potion,” you continued.

Though no words were spoken out of Simon’s throat, his face could be translated to, ‘What the fuck are you on about?’ while smoke started to climb on the stove behind him.

“Simon, I think the love potion is burning,” you said.

Simon looked back at the stove which he immediately attended. Whilst he did so, you did not see that he stealthily formed a little smile on his face as he remembered the words you just said to him.

[awaitingfall]

07.29.24

134.6

My goal for this week is to be 131 by Friday/Saturday morning.

Yesterday ended up being such a low energy day and I didn’t want to cook anything so I ate mostly crackers and trail mix throughout the day for food, so I ended up gaining 😭

Literally did nothing but sit around and scroll on my phone yesterday. I think because we had such an exciting day on Saturday, my mind & body didn’t want to do anything for the rest of the weekend.

- - -

I started today off on a better note - I woke up only 15 mins after my alarm and went straight to exercise. I wanted to do the first day of Chloe Ting’s new schedule, but I was only able to get through one of the 10 min videos. I stretched before hand, but I haven’t worked out in a week so my body didn’t want to move right. So I struggled through the 10 min HIIT and called it there for the day.

- - -

Part of me is really hoping I either get a text from the boss this morning saying to stay home for the day cuz we won’t have much work to do, OR I’ll get to go home early. Sometimes I feel bad for thinking like that because I pretty much begged for this job back because of how much I missed it, but now that all this other shit at work is going on I just don’t want to be there anymore 😩 Like if my boss stayed in Texas and the shop manager wasn’t leaving and all was fine and dandy I’d have no problem wanting to go into work. But this is the shop manager’s last week here and my boss is in until the end of August which is stressful because he’s all over the place and he’s trying to hire a new production staff member - but who’s gonna replace the shop manager’s duties when she leaves and when my boss leaves back from Texas? Oh, right, me of course. The person who has to be on press constantly in order for any work to get done is now going to have to take on the managerial role as well. It’s not gonna work out at all. There’s no way for me to be printing orders while also being available to talk on the phone and get everything planned with the rest of the team and be in charge of literally everything and everyone else in the shop. It just doesn’t work. He even tried this once before and I ended up stepping away from the press so frequently that I had to train one of the other shop assistants. Only difference is that girl was a fast learner and worked really well. The person we have as shop assistant now isn’t capable of running the press (I don’t even want to go into specifics or else I’ll feel like I’m bullying 😭) plus she’s getting her hours cut anyways and wont be there full-time, and we haven’t even heard any news on whether this kid that came by for a day is even interested in this job. Plus he knows nothing about it so we’d have to train him on all the basics first. Which means I’m stuck on press. I can’t take over managerial work like that.

Sorry for venting, but I know it’s just going to be really stressful this next year. It’s making me want to quit now, but I think I’m just going to have to do my best to train one of the other shop assistants on the press so there will be someone there who knows how to print an order so I can quit in a more professional way this time around, and maybe just find a calm part-time job and work on my art when I’m home. It sucks that my boss doesn’t really know how to run a business well, cuz I really like the work I do. I just can’t keep flipping between job positions/take on multiple job positions, especially when it’s going to be for a year or longer. It’s too much for one person.

- - -

So yeah…still hoping for a day off or a half day today. But if not, I hope I’ll at least have a chill work day today 🥲

[alittlepudge-neverhurtnobody]

Ohhh I'm curious what kind of "might be the end times" N/J are living in? And how did that relationship weight happen/when did they individually notice it happening?

they are living in the “we’re nearing the final prediction of an apocalypse theory that has accurately predicted a bunch of other stuff so far” kind of end times! it’s alt-2016 and there are weird signals coming in from space and nobody really knows what’s going on but given the apocalypse theory … it probably isn’t good! N is kind of resigned to it, like, whatever happens happens. if the world ends he’s off the hook for student loans. J is having a much more difficult time with it. he is very much in the camp of “how am I supposed to keep doing my silly little job and my silly little tasks when the WORLD might be ENDING?” he is also learning that he has an anxiety disorder but that’s a different story.

(not that it’s abnormal to be anxious when all manner of apocalyptic bullshit is going on! I myself am anxious All The Time! but he’s realizing as all this stuff is happening that perhaps his massive uncontrollable spirals about it are not … normal?? I honestly think he might eat about that too but rn we are focusing on the happy stuff!!)

but anyway, N and J have been together for 2-3 years at this point. J was a little chubby when they got together, but he also wasn’t much for cooking so a lot of times in the pre-N era he would just make himself a packet of ramen and call it a day. but once he and N move in together, there is So Much Food all the time. N isn’t just making something for dinner, he’s making an entree and sides and bread and dessert and he’s making a little cheese plate for J to snack on while he finishes up work or watches N cook. N also buys a lot of snacks and J is the kind of person who will just eat if there’s food around whether he’s hungry or not, so it, uh, doesn’t take long.

putting the rest under a cut as it got … long … but pls feel free to ask more oc questions!!

J is a very empirical evidence kind of guy so when his pants start getting harder to button and his waistbands start folding under his belly and his shirts start getting tight around his upper arms, he starts paying attention. it’s not a huge shock given how much he’s been eating, but he’s still kind of surprised by how fast his jeans go from “a little snug but wearable” to “I have to unbutton these if I want to sit comfortably at my desk.” (never mind the always-surprising “even my sweats are getting tight now?”) so he finally takes stock and is like, “welp, time to size up!” bc there is no way he’s giving up or cutting back on N’s cooking. could he exercise? sure. is he realistically gonna get up at 5am to accompany N on his morning run? absolutely not. he’ll just buy new clothes.

N notices that J is putting on weight first though. he’s been on the lookout since the first time he cooked dinner for J and J ate three helpings and was like, “oh man, I’m going to get so fat if you cook like this all the time.” to which N was like, “... that’s … fine!” while internally combusting. he enjoys cooking and baking for the actual activity, but he also likes having an excuse to shower people with food for … reasons. when they first started dating he was very “oh no 😇 I accidentally 😇 made 4 dozen cookies 😇 whatever will i do with them 😇?” he notices first that J’s belly is starting to press against his t-shirt and that he can see a couple stretch marks beginning to bloom down his sides. N is taller so he doesn’t have many excuses to ask J to get stuff off high shelves but J likes to do big stretches after a long day of hunching over in his desk chair, so N gets some good looks at how his stomach is starting to shelf over his waistbands. little by little he watches J’s belly button indent emerge beneath his t-shirts. J gains enough in his hips and thighs that N can tell he’s filling out their kitchen chairs a little more. the backs of his thighs are starting to dimple and his upper arms are getting so perfectly, squeezably chubby and it’s taking everything he’s got not to get too handsy and give himself away. he wants to FEEL IT! he wants to EXPLORE! especially since the bulk of J’s gain is from food HE COOKED. he wants the hands-on experience of how much he’s helped J overindulge!

he grinds his teeth and tries to be normal about it until J brings it up, which sort of backfires but also sort of works out because J has his own theories that N likes it and starts making offhanded comments about his gut getting bigger and “maybe I should start hitting the gym” to smoke him out. (J is a queer computer nerd who almost certainly had a traumatic time in middle school PE, he is not going to the gym.) N comes clean and J is very chill with it. he’s gonna keep enjoying N’s food anyway, he might as well have fun teasing him while he does it! he gets a lot of mileage out of it. ate too much at a work function? he can tease N by telling him how much he ate while getting a belly rub and “forgetting” to stifle his burps. got weighed at a doctor’s appointment? he’s gonna whisper that number into N’s ear while they’re making out later. out of breath bc the work elevator is broken and he had to take the stairs? might as well leave N a voicemail so he can hear how out of shape he is. tipsy after drinks with his coworkers? the only cure is cuddling with N and asking him to feed him the pizza J impulse-ordered on his way home. had a big meal and now all of his pants are a little too tight on his belly? time to sprawl on the couch and let his belly hang out unencumbered while he groans and whines about how he knew he was overdoing it, but it was too good to stop. helping N in the kitchen? his belly’s so heavy, guess he’ll have to just rest it on the countertop. none of it is kinky for him but he’s having a GREAT time nonetheless. turning N on is the real reward. (N is in feedist hell but also feedist heaven. never in his wildest dreams could he have hoped for a boyfriend who’s not only cool about his kinks, but is also so enthusiastic about indulging them.)

J puts on 60-70 pounds over the course of their first year together — the first half go on pretty quickly and the second half more gradually — and retires his outgrown t-shirts to wear around the house for N to appreciate. he plateaus around there for the most part but slowly gains a little more as their relationship progresses, and he always gets a little heavier around the holidays while N tests out recipes and bakes a metric fuckload of cookies for everyone they know. at family gatherings J tells everyone who makes a comment about his weight or aims a pointed look at his belly that N is such a great cook and is keeping him so well-fed and gives his belly a little pat or a jiggle. it gives N the vapors. (later J shows him some pictures from college and casually drops that he’s gained almost a hundred pounds since then. N is going to think about that for a LONG time.)

he grinds his teeth and tries to be normal about it until J brings it up, which sort of backfires but also sort of works out because J has his own theories that N likes it and starts making offhanded comments about his gut getting bigger and “maybe I should start hitting the gym” to smoke him out. (J is a queer computer nerd who almost certainly had a traumatic time in middle school PE, he is not going to the gym.) N comes clean and J is very chill with it. he’s gonna keep enjoying N’s food anyway, he might as well have fun teasing him while he does it! he gets a lot of mileage out of it. ate too much at a work function? he can tease N by telling him how much he ate while getting a belly rub and “forgetting” to stifle his burps. got weighed at a doctor’s appointment? he’s gonna whisper that number into N’s ear while they’re making out later. out of breath bc the work elevator is broken and he had to take the stairs? might as well leave N a voicemail so he can hear how out of shape he is. tipsy after drinks with his coworkers? the only cure is cuddling with N and asking him to feed him the pizza J impulse-ordered on his way home. had a big meal and now all of his pants are a little too tight on his belly? time to sprawl on the couch and let his belly hang out unencumbered while he groans and whines about how he knew he was overdoing it, but it was too good to stop. helping N in the kitchen? his belly’s so heavy, guess he’ll have to just rest it on the countertop. it isn’t kinky for him but he’s having a GREAT time nonetheless. turning N on is the real reward. (N is in feedist hell but also feedist heaven. never in his wildest dreams could he have hoped for a boyfriend who’s not only cool about his kinks, but is also so enthusiastic about indulging them.)

J puts on 60-70 pounds over the course of their first year together — the first half go on pretty quickly and the second half more gradually — and retires his outgrown t-shirts to wear around the house for N to appreciate. he plateaus around there for the most part but slowly gains a little more as their relationship progresses, and he always gets a little heavier around the holidays while N tests out recipes and bakes a metric fuckload of cookies for everyone they know. at family gatherings J tells everyone who makes a comment about his weight or aims a pointed look at his belly that N is such a great cook and is keeping him so well-fed and gives his belly a little pat or a jiggle. it gives N the vapors. (later J shows him some pictures from college and casually drops that he’s gained almost a hundred pounds since then. N is going to think about that for a LONG time.)

[oraclekleo]

Finances related tarot readings

Hello my dear followers and random visitors of my posts!

Some of you probably know that I'm a very productive adult person with a responsible job in a bank. That's one of the main reasons why I can't really work on completing readings all day long.

But! In this time of high inflation and just things being financially tough in general (and financial difficulties can severely affect our mental state and emotions, of course, and eventually our physical health, too), I have thought I could perhaps use the fact I have a good and friendly relationship with the financial sector and maybe offer some money related tarot readings.

PLEASE! DON'T TAKE ME WRONG HERE. NEVER EVER BASE YOUR FINANCE RELATED DECISIONS ON TAROT OR ORACLE OR LENORMAND OR KIPPER OR RUNE READINGS! NEVER! THOSE CAN ONLY DRAW YOUR ATTENTION TO ASPECTS AND SUBJECTS YOU SHOULD LOOK MORE INTO. BEFORE MAKING ANY MONEY RELATED DECISION, MAKE YOUR RESEARCH AND CONSULT SOMEONE TRULY COMPETENT LIKE THE PERSON FROM YOUR BANK WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR ACCOUNT, OR FINANCIAL ADVISOR, OR STOCK BROKER, YOU KNOW, SOMEONE WITH THE ACTUAL DETAILED KNOWLEDGE.

When this warning is off my shoulders and I truly mean it! I consider myself decent with money but I'm still learning myself and you should also know I have never studied any economy related school or even subject. I sort of learned everything from real life experience and I'm in no way an expert.

However, if you were interested in some general suggestions regarding your personal money management, little nudges towards the direction you might need to explore in more details, I can surely provide that.

I have already assembled one general tarot spread for this topic and I have tested it on myself and it looks like it works just fine so I can share it here with you.

Fiscal Year Ahead tarot spread

Expenses to cut (advice on what might not be wise to waste your money on in the upcoming year)

Sources of Income to explore (it can refer to side hustles or to a new direction of your career…)

Money Management Advice (general advice regarding your skills of handling personal finances)

Financial Forecast (what to expect / avoid / be prepared for in the upcoming year)

Investment Tip (general suggestion on what areas you might explore in order to invest in them, it can refer to simple things like your health and advising you to stop eating fast food and invest in groceries and start cooking better food for yourself or it can draw your attention to stock market, if you have some extra money to be invested)

For those who are not familiar with the term Fiscal Year, it's 12 consecutive months but they don't have to copy the actual calendar year. I have used this term in the title of the reading to address the fact that this tarot reading is giving you information for the 12 months ahead of you from the moment of when the reading is done for you. So you're not waiting for the 1st of January to start implementing the advice, you can start immediately. 😊

This tarot spread is clearly not the only option on how the finance related tarot reading can be done but I simply wanted to show you an example.

So! Would you be actually interested in such types of tarot readings? You can say no, it’s no problem for me. I’m simply offering it but if you don’t really trust this or you are not interested, feel free to tell me. I’m not gonna be sad about it. 😂

Let me know what you think!

Thank you and have a great day!

Kleo 🦄

[androgeonusdeerssecondaccount]

Hi! I’m back with more writing :]

I did want to mention again that this is one part of a three part prologue (this is part two). So it’s not going to be very long. This is also a rough draft so it will not be perfect in terms of grammar and writing.

With that said let’s get into the writing :D

Dragon Fruit

Prologue pt 2 ; The child and the Hunter

Warnings: Violence, gore, fast paced writing, wounded child, non human creature, human like creatures, weaponry, eating, detailed talk of eating, detailed talk of wounds and pain, might be more but I don’t think their are.

Leaves rustle and branches snap as a tall humanoid creature stalks through a forest.

Suddenly a bush rustles infront of them and they pull out their bow, dragging the bowstring back and aiming at the low sitting bush.

Just as their about to shoot, a small child with dark red hair rolls out, battered and bruised with thorns and needles sticking out from their skin.

The creature lowers their bow, and steps closer to the child, crouching down to get a better look.

The small child lays littered with bruises and small bloody wounds, their hair wrapping around their face covering most of the damage on their face.

The hunter crawls toward the child and scoops them up, lifting them easily and holding them tightly as they turn and walk back from where they had come from.

~{Time Skip}~

(Also changing the perspective)

The world comes into view as I slowly open my eyes, the obvious feeling of warmth pressing against my skin as I force my arm to prep up my body weight. The blinding light of what seems to be a fireplace stings my eyes as I sit up against the wall, the rough brick walls scraping against shoulder. Just as I fully sit up the feeling of cloth and bandages around my limbs becomes painfully apparent along with the stinging pain in my legs and chest. The burning, stinging feeling of partially open wounds tingles as they rub against the tightly wrapped bandages on my thighs and torso.

Suddenly the door swings open as a tall bulkier creature with shimmering black scales and sharp red eyes moves through the door, their tail turning into legs and arms grow out through their skin in an uncomfortable ‘pop’.

An emerald green fish hangs to their side, their now shortened tail still hanging on to it.

“Oh! Uh, good morning dear, I went out to get some food and didn’t expect you to be awake by the time I was back.”

Their appearance shifts, now resembling that of a young women, their red eyes turned a dark brown color and their black scales turned a syrupy brown colored skin.

My stomach grumbles as I eye the fish, hunger gripping at me tightly.

The person notices and finally remembers the fish they were holding. They step towards the fire pit and pull out a small metal table with several metal cutlery spread out across it.

The cut the skin off slowly and carefully, making sure to get all the scales off the fish. And after half an hour or so they finish peeling and cutting it and place it on a metal rack, and slide it into the fireplace.

Within 15~20 minutes the fish finishes cooking and they hand me 2/3 of the fish.

“You probably haven’t eaten in a while so you should take more.”

I nod and start eating away at the fish, a slight burnt charcoal-y taste apparent as I bite off half of the fish piece.

“My names Amyth by the way. Thought it might be useful information.”

I look up at them and nod, still gnawing through the rest of the fish.

Once I finish the fish Amyth hands me a couple of napkins to wipe my face. Once I’m cleaned up Amyth asks if I need water or a drink of some kind.

“No im okay. I’m still a bit tire so if it’s okay with you I’m just gonna go back to bed for now.”

“That’s fine. Hope you get some good sleep.”

My head presses against the pillow as the blanket envelopes me in warmth and I slowly drift out of consciousness.

[seokjinsonlyone]

this is what i think your go to form of touch would be with bts

namjoon:

this man is like the biggest proponent of not everything has to be some big grand gesture and i’m sure he lives by that

so i really believe is go to touch for you would be a hand at your lower back

like i just imagine you’re at some event or whatever and he notices you’re running out of steam and he comes up behind you and rests his hand on your lower back bends slightly to place a kiss on your forehead and asks you if you need a break or if you’re ready to go

or like y’all will be at a fast food joint and be waiting in line together and he’ll have his hand at your lower back rubbing small circles casually while you peruse the menu

seokjin:

i think seokjin is probably a fan of having his arm around your shoulders

like he’s super playful so i feel like half the time you’d end up in a headlock

but also he just be wanting you close to him sometimes bro

like he could be watching tv or something and you could be on your phone doing whatever and he’d ask you to come sit next to him and he’d throw his arm around your shoulders and pull you into him

or y’all could be on a date or just going for a walk and he’d sling his arm around you

i think he’d especially like it if you intertwined your fingers with the one he had draped around you

yoongi:

neither of you were huge on physical affection in the sense that you felt like you had to be touching all the time

but i feel like hand holding is definitely something you two do quite often

like you’re in the car going somewhere he’s driving and he just rests his hand on the center console

he won’t say anything but you know it’s yours for the taking and he’d spend the drive mindlessly running his thumb across the back of your hand

and when you hit a stoplight he’d press a few kisses to it

more specifically though i think if y’all were like out and about though your handholding would devolve into pinky holding

like he seems like he’d complain about his palms being sweaty or something so instead of full on holding hands you’d link pinkies bc he still wanted to be attached to you and vice versa

hoseok:

hobi the type of boyfriend to be your best friend

and as besties i feel like y’all would link arms often

he wouldn’t want you to call him bestie tho

if you did he’d get you all flustered then ask “do best friends do this?”

anyway he liked it bc it offered maximum mobility while still having you close

could still reach for his phone and do a quick search for something and keep moving all while having you by his side

i can see him coming to pick you up for a date and him extending his arm to you as you come out the door and calling you m’lady and then giggling for the next 3 minutes as if he hadn’t done the same thing a hundred times before

jimin:

aight so idk about go to for jimin bc i feel like he’d like to be on you all the time in whatever way he feels like it in that moment

but i feel like your special thing would be him resting his forehead against yours

you know how he playfully does it like in that one run episode when they had to tell yoongi and jin how to cook and in the opening he was gonna do the run bts catchphrase or whatever but tae cut him off and did it instead

you know what i’m talking about

i feel like he does that a lot yes playfully bc you love winding him up

but also i feel like he does it ~affectionately~ as well

like if you hadn’t seen each other in a while when you meet again he’d hug you really tightly for a while and then he’d just rest his forehead against yours breathing you in

it’s also probably how you spend most of your nights cuddled together foreheads pressed talking about everything and nothing at all until you drift to sleep

taehyung:

now for tae he’d definitely have you by the waist allllll the time

like homeboy has mentioned it so many times that there’s no way he wouldn’t take full advantage of being able to do it with you as his girl

i really feel like he’d go on a walk with you for the sole purpose of being able to wrap his arm around your waist while you travelled

i also think tae’s on the dramatic side and we know he likes watching movies and dramas and what not

so i feel like he’d go all ‘to all the boys’ on you and have his hand in your back pocket just in case anyone forgot who you were with

jungkook:

this boy may be a bunny but he is also an octopus

like i just know his muscly self would stay wrapped around you

whenever he saw you his immediate thought would be how he could engulf you completely

say like you visited him on set you’d be standing around talking to another staff or member or whatever and he’d see you from a distance come up behind you and wrap his arms around your neck or waist slightly pulling you into him setting his chin on top of your head

he didn’t want you for any reason and had nothing in particular to add to the conversation just wanted to make a mould out of you

it’d be even more all encompassing when you two were alone like you’d be sitting or laying down minding your business and then suddenly there are limbs everywhere and jk would have his nose scrunched up giggling with you in his arms

[helliontherapscallion]

(Y/n) and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week: Thursday (Part 2)

Monday     Tuesday     Wednesday     Thursday (Part 1)     Friday     Saturday     Sunday

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: panic attacks, swearing, puking, concussions, mentions of injuries/bullying, homophobia

Word count: 5,138

After school, you were sitting on the couch as you furiously typed on your keyboard at an extremely fast pace. You were on a roll with these essays, they were probably going to be finished by the time you had to go back to the school to get on the bus with the team. You figured that you could even finish Annie’s essay and get started on Sammy’s US history presentation on the sociopolitical climate of the United States in the mid twentieth century to today. However, instead of covering a variety of topics like the rubric requested you to do, you were only going to talk about the significant events that happened to the LGBT+ community starting with Stonewall and going to Obergefell v. Hodges. You were also going to go in depth about how even if there are more opportunities available and more laws set in place to protect for LGBT+ people in the present then there were in past, members of the LGBT+ community still suffer heavy discrimination in the workplace and in the public. With receipts of course, the assignment required a minimum of three pictures per slide, and the group chat was a perfect source.

After that was done, you would email Sammy’s teacher (you had her last year for US history and you knew that she had a son in the grade below you currently transitioning from female to male) that you were the one that did her project and send screenshots of Sammy calling you slurs. Luckily for you, you had receipts of her being transphobic in the past that you could also send. Everything was effortlessly falling into place for you today. 

As you were typing, the front door swung open and two overly excited fifth graders ran into the house and up the stairs. A tired Schlatt followed them. “I will never know how the hell Phil keeps up with them.” 

“I dunno, maybe because he’s already raised three kids before.”

You watched as your uncle jumped and whipped his head over towards you, his hand clutching his chest. He lightly glared at you, “christ kid don’t do that, you nearly gave me a heart attack.”

You smirked at him before turning back to your laptop to continue typing the essay. You were almost done with the conclusion paragraph on Annie’s essay and you wanted to get to Sammy’s presentation as fast as possible. As you were typing, you felt a warm air fan across your neck and your uncle’s voice right next to your ear, “whatcha typin?”

You lept off the couch and almost fell into the coffee table before steadying yourself and deadpanning at Schlatt. “I was typing an essay before you interrupted me.”

He snorted, “it looked like you were on a roll, just thought I’d see what my beloved niece was writing. Can I read it?” 

Your eyes lit up as an excited grin split your cheeks, “yeah, but lemme catch you up real quick. Adrian, Sammy, and Annie got mad at me a few days ago and wanted me to do some homework for them as a sort of payment. But after they pulled that little stunt in the lunchroom yesterday, they decided to be little bitches to me and call me slurs. So naturally, I decided to change the essay prompt into an in depth analysis about discrimination LGBT people face from their peers on the daily. My english teacher’s really against homophobia and the project’s worth twenty five percent of our overall grade, so it’s perfect.”

While you were rambling on and on about your detailed plot for revenge, Schlatt couldn’t help but be proud of the person you’d become. A major part of him was impressed that you came up with a detailed plan so quickly, that meant that his cunning nature was rubbing off on you and that made him ecstatic. Sure you mentioning not being straight was new to him, but he was prepared to accept you for whatever you identified as. He didn’t care how people identified, he just cared if they were good people. And his niece was one of the best kids he knew. He’d let your slip up slide for now until you felt comfortable enough to properly come out to him. 

“That an amazing plan, fuckin brilliant. Though, you could do more.”

That piqued your interest, “I’m listening.”

“Do you have any blackmail?”

Your eyes glinted with sudden understanding, “why yes I do, uncle dearest. I just so happen to have thousands of texts from them talking shit about each other and basically the entire school. And them being incredibly racist. They would be destroyed if that came out.” 

“Two things. One, never call me that again. Two, perfect. Keep it as leverage if they try to do something. You don’t pull out all the good cards in the first round, you wait for the right moment to strike so you can win. You need to constantly defend yourself against other players and anticipate their every move. If you leak everything right now, you won’t have anything to use against them if they have something up their sleeve you didn’t know about. Patience is key in things like this.”

You absorbed every single word that came out of his mouth like it was the holy gospel. Although he was your uncle and you loved him with all your heart, but he was a sly bastard when he wanted to be. He knew his way around fighting and manipulating people just right, so you were incredibly happy that you were on his good side and he absolutely adored you. Though questionable and morally gray, he was giving you advice because he cared about you and you’d be an idiot to not heed his advice. 

“That’s genius, Uncle Schlatt. What would I do without you?”

“You’d get along just fine without me, you would’ve gotten there eventually. You’re smart. I’m just givin you a little push in the right direction.”

“I honestly would’ve never thought about waiting, I was so dead set on getting revenge that I would’ve just leaked everything all at once. I want them to feel how I felt when they were around me. I-” you paused. Would this make you the same as them? You’d be screwing up all their grades, Adrian’s job, and Sammy’s athletic career. You came to the chilling realization that you’d be the same as them. You’d be as manipulative as they were. “...Uncle Schlatt, would that make me the same as them?”

“Fuck no! You’re always gonna be better than them no matter what. When they’re at their best, you’re always gonna be a whole lot better than them. They deserve what’s happening to them, it sounds like they put you through so much shit the past few years. I actually think you could do a whole lot worse to them if you’re willing to put more work in, but it’s your plan and if you think that what you’re doing is too much,” he darkly chuckled, “you wouldn’t like my idea.”

“You’re right, they deserve everything I have planned for them. God, I don’t know what I was thinking, ‘would that make me the same as them,’” you mocked what you said earlier, “what a load of shit. Anyways, thanks Uncle Schlatt. I’m gonna get back to writing this. They’re due tomorrow and I wanna finish as much as I can before I have to go.”

“Alright, whaddya want for dinner? Phil’s gonna be like thirty minutes late from work so I’m cookin tonight.”

Oh no. No, no, no, no. That man can barley cook boxed mac n cheese, let alone anything else. He’d burn down the house if you left him alone in the kitchen with the stove. “On second thought, why don’t I help you with dinner? We can make some chicken alfredo.”

“Awe, you’d rather hang out with me than finish your homework? Ya really do love me. C’mon let’s start.”

The process of making dinner was… interesting. Multiple times, Schlatt almost spilled boiling water on himself and he even managed to burn the pasta while it was in the water. How he even managed to do that you’d never find out, you had your back turned cutting up vegetables and herbs at the time. That was when you subtly started to take over in the kitchen, giving him smaller tasks while you handled everything else. You felt bad for Tubbo, his father can’t cook for shit. 

By time you finished, about an hour passed and Philza had come home and changed out of his work clothes. The two adults sat at the table discussing something that you didn’t pay attention to while your brothers and cousin were in the living room waiting for you to finish dinner. Finally, you set the table and it was time to eat. 

Because you couldn’t have many fatty foods before any matches or practices, you had made a separate plate for yourself that only had plain pasta, chicken, and broccoli. You were surprised with how well it turned out, you were following an iffy recipe you found on the first link Google brought up. 

After dinner, you went upstairs to put your uniform on and pack a little bag full of things you might need: a small blanket, some snacks, a water bottle, and a portable charger. Oh, and fuzzy socks and a pair of crocs. You could never go wrong with fuzzy socks and crocs. Feeling a vibration in your pocket, you pulled out your phone.

Hales : )

(Y/n), I’m omw to your house

Gonna give you a ride to the school

(Y/n)

Hales you don’t have to give me a ride, I can drive

Hales : )

Don’t care

Omw, be there in like 7 mins

You swiped out of yours and her conversation and opened up the family group chat

(Y/n)

I don’t need a ride to the school, Haley’s giving me one

She’s gonna give me a ride home too

Dadza

Alright, thank her for me

Tell her I said good luck too!

Uncle Schlatty Patty

Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do

Dadza

(Y/n), do everything he wouldn’t do

Uncle Schlatty Patty

Fuck you I’m a good influence

Dadza

You’re really not

Wilby

^^^^

Technology Sword

^

Uncle Schlatty Patty

Fuck all of you 

You heard Haley’s car pull into the driveway and dashed out of your room with your bag. Just as you put your hand on the doorknob, a hand stopped you.

“Coat.”

You grumbled as you reached past Philza to grab your coat. After you slipped it on, you were pulled into a hug. “You’re gonna do great out there. I know you’re gonna win this, we’ll be watching in the stands.”

“Damn right she’s gonna do good, she’s my niece after all.”

Schlatt pulled you away from your father’s hug and tried to ruffle your hair before you swatted away his hand, “don’t. You have no idea how long it took me to get a perfect ponytail. I have an ungodly amount of hairspray and bobby pins in my hair right now.”

“Fine. You’re gonna kick their asses tonight.”

Tommy and Tubbo pushed past Schlatt and both tackled you into a hug making you stumble slightly back. 

“Kick their asses good (y/n)!” Tommy cheered, making you crack up before one stern glance from Philza completely stopped you. “Tommy, don’t say that. (Y/n), not funny.”

“Alright, Haley’s waiting for me. I gotta go, love you guys!” As you turned to walk through the door, you could hear your family following you and shouting “good luck”. You felt heat creep up on your cheeks as Haley rolled down her window and wove at your family with the biggest grin on her face. 

“Thank you! We’re gonna take home the gold for sure!”

You hopped in her car as she rolled up the window and chuckled. “I love your family, they’re always so full of energy. It’s refreshing to see compared to how boring my family is.”

You glanced at your entire family gathered on the front porch. Tommy and Tubbo were practically vibrating with excitement, Wilbur and Techno calmly smiled and wove at you, Philza was grinning widely at you as you saw his mouth forming words that you couldn’t hear or read, and Schlatt was grinning cheekily at you. You raised your hand to wave at them as they vanished from view when Haley pulled out of your driveway. You smiled softly, “I love em too.”

The car ride was relatively quick with the same soft indie pop music floating from the speakers and an easy going conversation with Haley about the match tonight. You both thought that you could beat the other team if everyone focused 100% and played exactly like you guys did in practices. If everyone did that, you would be unstoppable. 

Luckily for you and Haley, you were the first ones in line to board the bus so you two got the back seat with Zara and Jazzy sitting across from you guys. The hour long bus ride passed quickly and lively with you four passing around your phone and playing some mad libs, you were sure that by the end of the last game you four were laughing and crying. Sometime in the middle of the trip, you noticed that Haley would start to lean on your shoulder and continuously glance at you as she laughed. You desperately wanted to believe that it was because she liked you, but she was straight and she was your best friend. She was probably trying to make sure you were having a good time. 

When the team had gotten to the opposing school and left the locker room to stretch in the gym, you could hear your family start to scream your and Haley’s names from the front row next to you, Tommy and Tubbo being the loudest amongst them with Philza trying to get them to quiet down so you could focus. You felt your cheeks heat up as you smiled at them and Haley wove enthusiastically back at them. Zara was laughing at you two. Stretching went by in a flash and before you knew it, you were on the court facing the opposing team. 

The first match was won by the opposing team by five points. The second match stretched on and on until it was won by your team narrowly by two points. The team was going to have to shape up in the third match if you guys wanted a chance at winning, the opposing team was good. Before the third match started, Coach Williams called for a time out so you guys could talk about strategy. Before Haley could go back onto the court, you pulled her aside.

“Hales, we need to do what we practiced. The other team won’t be expecting it at all, I’ve been setting you up this entire game. They’re never going to expect you setting me up for a spike.”

“When are we going to do it though? We need a better plan.”

“I’m sure the opportunity will come and both of us will recognize it. We just can’t do it too early in the game though, that’ll ruin their surprise.”

“(Y/n), I hope you know what you’re doing.”

“When do I not Hales? We gotta get gold this year.”

The third round went by with both teams constantly swapping places until you both were tied fifteen to fifteen. You saw the ball flying towards Haley, giving her the perfect opportunity to set you up for a spike.  “HALEY NOW!” 

You watched as her face hardened in determination as she pretended like she was going to spike it by jumping high in the air and stretching her arms back, making the opposing front row players all gather in front of her. Much to their surprise, she launched it towards you as you leaped up and went for the kill. The stinging of the ball hit by your wrist and the smack sound the ball made when it slammed onto the open gym floor was something you’d never forget as the crowd around you went wild over the unexpected play. You could hear the high pitched screaming of Tommy and Tubbo over everybody else. Glancing at them over your shoulder, you saw them jumping up and down on the gym floor and looking at you with awe filled eyes and gaping mouths. The rest of your family looked at you with similar expressions, their cheers echoing in your mind. Winking at them, you turned back to your team and went straight to Haley. Clapping a hand on her shoulder, you pulled her into a quick hug, yelling over the raving of the crowd. “HALEY WE NAILED THAT!” 

“HOLY SHIT I DID NOT THINK THAT WAS ACTUALLY GONNA WORK!”

“You have such little faith in your setter! You wound me Hales.”

“Well, I would have more faith in you if you weren’t chaotic on the court, sweetheart.”

You felt yourself surge in happiness at the nickname, but you couldn’t afford to focus too much on it. Your team only needed one more point to win best in the state and go to nationals. It would be the first time in your team’s history if you reached national level, and you’d be damned if you were the one to screw it up for them. 

The last rotation went on for a while, each team fighting tooth and nail for the state championship title with clashing determination. You tried your best to block every hit and try to set Haley up for a spike, and you were successful for the most part, only missing a few blocks. You saw the setter adjacent to you set the spiker up for a spike and jumped up in time to try to block it, your arms stretched upwards and your palms out. Only, the ball didn’t hit your hands. It collided painfully with your nose, ricocheted off your face with a thwack and sailed over to the other side of the court. Your head whipped back as your body followed suit and flew backwards onto the floor. Without giving you any time to react, your head bounced back and cracked against the polished hardwood floor of the gym. Everything went black. 

“...(y……”

“..(y/n)......”

“(Y/n).”

You faintly heard someone calling someone’s name over the continuous ringing noise. Was it your name? It felt right, so it had to be your name. You peeled your eyes open to see a blurry figure hovering over you. It was swirled with tans, browns, and backs. After a while of the figure repeating your name, it slowly became more recognizable, albeit appearing twice in your vision. It took you a while to figure out who this was before your muddled brain recognized Haley.

“Hales! There’s two o’ya. Twice as beautiful babe…” You slurred out as you attempted to smile at her.

“Oh thank god, PLEASE WE NEED A DOCTOR SHE HIT HER HEAD!” Her usually angelic voice gritted against your brain like sandpaper making you cringe as pain exploded in your head.

“God babe you’re so loud, why’s so bright? I-wha's goin on?” You blearily tried to move your head to look around only to be stopped by a pair of large hands on each side of your head gently holding it in place. You moved your laggy eyes around to look at the figure. He was a blonde man with blue eyes and a hint of stubble on his chin. His eyebrows were knitted together and he looked… he looked… your brain worked to figure out why he looked how he looked. Who was he?

“Please don’t move hun.” His muffled voice was baritone. You squinted at him trying to figure out who this man was.

“Who th f-fuck… why?”

“I’m your dad hun. Do-do you not recognize me?” You made a noise in the back of your throat as your stuffy brain finally put a name to the face.

“Dad- wha’s goin on? I’on feel so good…”

“Shh, I know, I know. Just stop moving and talking. Everything’s fine. I’m here. You’re okay.”

“Mmk… Dad, where are we? I’ont know- you’re so quiet.”

“Stop moving so much. You’re on the floor in a gym. You just won your team the state championship. Now stop talking please.”

Huh. So that’s why everybody seemed to appear from above you. You strained your eyes to look around you, but you could only see your dad’s face hovering above you. “Shit I- who’s aroun’ me? Where’s Hales?”

“I’m right here sweetheart. I got the doctor, Mr. Minecraft.”

Your dad’s face moved away from your vision so fast that it made your head spin and your stomach twist. Another face appeared above you that you once again didn’t recognize.

“I’m Doctor Martin, can you tell me your first and last name?”

“Uh, (y/n) Minecraft?”

“Good, what month are we in right now?”

“Nov-November?”

“Close, it’s late October. Can you tell me who this,” he pointed to your dad, “is?”

“S’my dad Phillip.”

“That’s your dad Philza.”

The questioning stopped as he suddenly shined a blinding light into your sensitive eyes. You hissed as you tried to move your head away from the offending light only to be held in place by your dad’s hands. Your head spun as you moved too quickly and a wave of nausea hit you, making you groan and move your arm to cover your eyes. Your hand was stopped by something warm and soft wrapping around it and holding it tightly. Everything was so overwhelmingly and painfully bright and loud. You wanted to make it stop. 

“Mr. Minecraft, your daughter appears to have a concussion. I don’t have the tools on hand to determine the severity of it, but it’s worrying that her pupils are asymmetrical, she’s delirious, and has slight memory loss. I understand you live about an hour away from here, and it’s alright for you to take her to a hospital closer to your house. Make sure you keep her alert.”

Your delirious mind only registered about half of what came out of the doctor’s mouth. You mumbled gibberish as you once again opened your eyes to look around. You were only briefly able to crane your neck to the left. Several figures large and small were standing behind your dad. Your family, your mind supplemented. Slowly, your mind was starting to recognize your surroundings even if there was currently double of everything and everything was blurry.

“I’m going to help you stand up. Do ya think you can do that?”

“Yeah Dad.” You lifted your upper body off from the ground with a gentle hand on your back helping you sit up. Fighting the wave of nausea that slapped you in the face, you reached up to rub at your eyes. A hand once again stopped you. You peeked your eyelids open and lightly glared at whomever stopped you. “Hales you’re lucky you’re so cute I woulda slapped you. I like holdin but you’re bein annoying. Stop.” You attempted to make your voice sound firm, but the words that came out of your mouth were slightly slurred.

She was silent as she helped her dad haul you to your feet. Once on your feet, you saw the room spin and felt yourself start to sway slightly. An arm wrapped itself around your shoulders and pulled you close to them so that your weight was supported. They were a little taller than you were making it easy to lean on them. 

“...Can you walk?” A deep, monotone voice rumbled the chest of the person you were leaning against. 

“Mhm. ‘M not weak.” Though your limbs felt like they were made of molasses, you placed one foot in front of the other slowly. The person moved alongside you, “you’re doing so good, keep going.” That sparked familiarity in you as you stopped in your tracks and tried to look up at the person you were leaning against making the person tighten their arm around your shoulders when you almost fell over.

“Tech?”

“Yeah, it’s Technoblade. Just focus on walking. You’re almost out of the gym.”

When you realized that you were out of the gym, you sighed in relief. It was so much quieter and darker. Though it was still relatively bright, it was better than the gym. 

“S’better.”

“When we get her to the car we can give her some sunglasses or something if it’s still too bright for her.”

“Wilbs-”

“Focus on walking.”

You huffed in irritation, “don’ tell me what to do bitch.”

You felt Techno’s body jolt slightly as he chuckled, making your head throb at the sudden movement. “Just walk.”

When you walked outside, you shivered as you felt the cool air nip at your exposed skin. Right, you were in your volleyball uniform. “I’ll go pull the car around, you guys stay with her.” 

You saw a tall brunet start to walk away from you. Uncle Splat? Uncle Schmat? Whatever his name was, you were sure he was your uncle. You tried to snuggle closer to Techno, craving warmth but never being satisfied. Where was your uncle? 

After a while, you saw a car moving towards you and blinding light pointed right at you making you cringe away and groan. Techno started to slowly walk towards the car. “C’mon (y/n), you’re almost there. When you’re in the car you can relax.”

“Tommy, Tubbo, and Techno, you’re in the back row. Schlatt can drive and Wil, you’re taking the passenger seat. I’ll stay with her in the middle row so she can have some room to lay down.” Tommy and Tubbo were with you? Why weren’t they talking, they usually were very vocal.

“Tom, Tubbs didja like the game?”

They didn’t say anything as they climbed into the car. Did they not hear you? 

“They’re just… tired (y/n).” Your dad’s voice reassured you as he took Techno’s place holding you up. 

“I wanna nap. ‘M so tired.”

“You can’t sleep yet. We gotta get you to a doctor first.”

“Mm. Makes sense.”

“Let’s get you in the car hun.”

As he helped you climb into the car, you felt an overwhelming wave of nausea wash over you making you lose your balance and almost faceplant into the cloth seats. You felt yourself being gently, yet urgently taken out of the car and led to grass as you felt your esophagus shorten. Something burning made its way up your throat and spewed into the grass. You felt someone rubbing your back as you puked up your dinner. 

When you were done, you reached up with a shaking hand to wipe your mouth. “You feelin better? Think you can get back into the car or do you need to sit down for a bit?”

“Car.”

After some difficulty, you were successfully in the middle row of the car laying down with your head on Philza’s lap. Soon enough, your shoes were taken off and a blanket was draped over you. 

“(Y/n), what do you remember?”

You scrunched up your face as you squinted at Philza’s face. “I remember playing volleyball with Hales. She’s so pretty, she’s straight though. I remember the other team hitting the ball, me jumping, then nothin. Wha’ happened?”

You watched as Philza winced, “well, you got everything right so far. You got hit in the face with the ball so you fell and hit your head on the floor. You were passed out for a minute before you woke up. It was a pretty nasty fall, we’re going to the hospital now. How’re ya feelin?”

“Head hurts, ‘m seein two of everything, an I can’t think.”

“Do you know what a concussion is?” You nodded in his lap slightly, “you probably have one.”

After a while of talking, you were slowly starting to come to your senses and your speech was clearing up, but your head was still too stuffy to think about what you were saying before you said it. You didn’t have a filter.

“Do you wanna tell us about your week so far? Do you remember most of it?”

“Mhm, it was shit. On Monday I had a panic attack and Adrian, Sammy, and Annie were being bitches to me all day. They fucked up my back. On Tuesday, they got mad at me for ditching them and they had me do their homework, had another panic attack, and Haley told me that someone took pictures of our boobs ‘n stuff and they were gonna leak it to the school if Haley didn’t stop hanging out with me. Haley and I almost kissed, but she’s straight. Pulled an all nighter and Wednesday I accidentally came out to Tech and Wil and had another panic attack. Annie, Adrian, and Sammy took more pictures of me through my window, Annie outed me to the entire school and slapped me. Another panic attack, skipped the last two classes and felt like shit the entire practice. Today Adrian and Sammy told me to kill myself and I had another panic attack. ’S about it.”

As you were going through your week, the hand that was previously gently stroking your hair had frozen as the car was enveloped in a tense silence. Luckily, Tommy and Tubbo were passed out in the back seat so they didn’t hear how bad your week was. Everyone awake knew that you had a few bad days this week, but they didn’t know the full extent of it. You watched as Philza’s expression had turned downright murderous, but you didn’t really care. You were busy talking about your week.

For the rest of the car ride, Philza asked you simple questions like what your favorite color was, your favorite animal, basically your favorite everything. Eventually, the car pulled into the hospital parking lot and Philza helped you get out of the car. “Schlatt, can you take the boys home so they can get some rest? I’ll stay with her.” 

“Yeah, I’m on it. Don’t cause too much trouble (y/n), we all know you can raise hell.” He watched you for a reaction, but when you didn’t react, he coughed. “Well, I’ll see ya later kid. Good luck.”

The car drove off leaving you and Philza at the front of the emergency room building. “It’s gonna be a long night (y/n).”

“I gotta finish Annie’s essay and Sammy’s presentation though.”

“No you don’t, I’ll email your teachers.”

You two checked in with the front desk before moving to sit on the uncomfortable chairs. It was going to be a long night. You were so tired.

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[spicysoftsweet]

A Thorn In The Side - Gojo x Reader

Summary: Infatuation enduring from high school is more of a problem than you or he think (~3.4k words).

Warnings: fem pronouns, fem!reader, noncon, kidnapping, yandere, wlw mention, gojo is a pos

A/N: Part of @suedebunn​‘s Hanahaki collab! 

When the strongest jujutsu sorcerer to have ever lived wakes up in the early am with the sensation of thorns scratching his throat and fullness in his stomach, he’s baffled.

Even more so when he doubles over in bed to cough profusely to the point of near emesis, shocking for a man who rarely gets sick. He stares blankly at a pillow covered in droplets of flecks of red, and his eyes widen with trepidation, until he realizes those large drops strewn across his bed come from flowers rather than blood.

He must be dreaming, Gojo Satoru tells himself, but the satiny feel of the scarlet petals between his fingertips is very real.

Or perhaps a curse.

“So you expect me to diagnose you over the phone?” 

Shoko pulled a drag of her cigarette as though for dramatic effect, blowing it out with a sigh, but continued to listen. She had to be up early anyway and ignoring Gojo would only make him more annoying in her experience.

“So what are your symptoms again?” she asked.

“Apparently my insides are trying to match my beautiful outsides~” he sang.

Shoko rolled her eyes, and as though he could see her, Gojo laughed loudly.

“In all seriousness, I’m turning into a garden. Coughing up flowers apparently.”

“Coughing up flowers, huh?” She leaned a little further against her balcony, her eyes setting on the early morning sunrise she could view from her high rise apartment. “Do you think it’s some type of curse?”

“It’s… different,” he replied, somewhat noncommittally. “I don’t think it’s cursed energy, actually.”

This was unexpected.

“What else do you feel?”

“Uneasy…”

It was Shoko’s turn to laugh. An interesting choice of words coming from him.

“Any ideas?” Gojo insisted.

“I mean, it could be some kind of undetectable curse. I’d know if I got to see you… How does your heart feel when you cough up the flowers?”

“It races.”

“Your mind?”

“Also races… lightheaded.”

“Any thoughts?”

“None.”

“As expected.” she teased, laughing again until she realized that for once, Gojo was silent on the other end of the phone. She scratched her head, then ran her fingers through her fingertips.

“Come in at 2pm today, okay? Don’t be late.”

---

“Well, you’re right,” Shoko stated, stepping back from the examination table, and crossing her arms as she set herself down on a stool to formulate her assessment. 

Her friend, already graced with the palest of color palettes, did actually look ill, dark circles prominent enough to match hers marring his porcelain skin. He sat, legs spread apart, and leaning onto the weight of his hands besides him, raising an eyebrow quizzically..

“It’s not cursed energy, alright,” she said, with a sigh. She stretched out her hand.

“You brought the sample, right?” 

Gojo, uncharacteristically a bit listless, tossed her the bag of vomited petals from this morning, covered in now dry saliva and other fluids. Not batting an eyelash, Shoko slipped on a pair of gloves and felt inside the bag, petals crumbling at her fingertips.

Definitely not cursed energy. She placed the bag on a disorganized counter behind her, making a mental note of scrutinizing it further under a microscope.

“Ideas?” Gojo asked after he’d decided that the time he’d given her to think was enough. It turned out the idea of being sick irritated him more than he expected. 

The very idea of being vulnerable made him slightly nauseous.

Shoko let out a chuckle that sounded more nervous than she had intended.

“My only other thought is Hanahaki disease.”

“Hanahaki?” Gojo repeated.

“Yeah,” she stated. Crossing her legs, she relaxed into her stool further as she watched the young man carefully. “Who’s the unlucky one?”

“You mean?”

“Who’s the unfortunate soul you’re in love with?” She asked again, waiting for his response. The truth was that she was quite shocked at the idea of Gojo being afflicted with Hanahaki, that he of all people could have such a pure, destructive form of love given his track history.

She’d known him long enough to know that his body count was near ridiculous.

He tilted his head, then burst into laughter.

“Myself, duh.”

“Well, auto-Hanahaki isn’t a thing, but I suppose if it was, you’d be the one to be afflicted with it.”

She decided not to press further. “Whoever it is, I’d recommend you settle your feelings as soon as possible,” she added. “People don’t usually die from this but you look surprisingly like shit so I’d be careful.”

Gojo ran a hand through his hair, hopping off the table and pulling back on his shirt.

Settling his feelings may be more complicated than either of the two of them expected.

---

You were in the middle of your drive home when Shoko’s name finally flashed on your dashboard. Grinning, you picked up on the car speaker, mischief in your voice.

“It’s 7:03 and you promised me you’d call at 7 sharp, babe. What do you have to say for yourself?” 

“You’re going to hold 3 minutes against me?” Her sultry voice filled your ears as you made the last turn between the grocery store and your apartment, and you hoped she’d be inside your home waiting for you so that you could actually hold something tangible against her.

“I did say I wasn’t going to tolerate you being late for anything anymore, didn’t I?” You teased.

“Bold declaration for someone who isn’t even home yet,” Shoko retorted.

In minutes, you were walking through the door, arms charged with bags full of groceries for dinner you’d planned to cook together. Shoko greeted you with a kiss on the forehead as you placed them on the counter.

“Did you miss me?”

You did, but you stuck out your tongue at her instead. Her hand intertwined with yours briefly before you separated to unpack items for dinner.

“I promise I’ll be less busy,” she offered as the two of you worked in tandem. Your stomach was already growling, so the sooner you had food on the table, the better.

“It’s no problem,” you replied, and you meant it only half-heartedly. It’s true she was less busy than a regular civilian doctor, but it seemed recently that her clinic was getting overrun with more and more curse victims. Things had been bad recently in the world, you figured. 

You were happy to step back from the world of sorcery, but small reminders like these persisted.

“Did you still manage to fit Gojo in today?”

She had complained earlier today that Gojo always managed to make a bad day worse.

“Mmm,” is what she offered over the sound of chopping vegetables. You understood that she couldn’t say more, on top of the fact that any discussion of Gojo was already a sore subject. It didn’t have to be, and it shouldn’t have been, but this was what it was.

“Hope he’s okay,” you offered, as you turned on the stove.

“He’ll be fine,” she replied, her voice now quieter than usual.

---

The first and last time Gojo fell in love was in the spring of his third year, he suddenly recalled in the middle of a tryst, as an upsettingly subpar blowjob allowed his mind to wander. The young woman whose gags sounded almost theatrical when compared to the amount of pleasure he was actually receiving was starting to get on his nerves, but instead he took matters in his own hands, wrapping her long ponytail around his wrist before guiding the back of her head so she took him deeper.

If she was gonna choke, she should commit to it.

He’d fallen in love with you at first sight. It was a strange feeling for him to immediately be enamored with someone upon first glance instead, having always been the recipient of many an awe-filled or fawning look.

You were a transfer from the sister school, already a rare occurrence, and what was even rarer was the fact that you both had little affinity to jujutsu and little interest in getting better. One could wonder why you even showed up in the first place, much less why you’d moved from one school to the other. 

You’d quit as expected just before graduation, but not before you caught his eye. 

“You’re pretty shitty at this,” he’d remarked, attempting to win you over with humor when he’d been assigned to you for both orientation and possible tutoring. “Of course, you can always ask me for help,” he added, flashing pearly whites at you.

He was the opposite of successful in wooing you.

“I suppose since this comes easy to you, this is just funny, right?” You’d quipped.

Your words cut more than both you and he anticipated, but it didn’t exactly matter. You were not interested in him, the way he was interested in you. 

But Shoko was different.

You became fast friends and upon your departure from the technical college, you’d remained in contact despite withdrawing from everyone else related to magic. 

Even if Gojo tried many times to either bring you back to this world you’d left behind or be part of your new one, you’d rebuffed him every time. Harshly. 

“I don’t know why you expect everyone to worship you,” was the last thing you’d said to him. “I’ve already made it clear that I don’t want to be part of this life,” you’d insisted. “Why would I change my mind just because you asked me to?”

You were right. 

And yet you loved Shoko.

The young woman whose name he’d forgotten’s face was now pressed against his pubic bone and she now began to squirm, slapping and scratching at him like some kind of trapped animal as she struggled to breathe, reminding him that he’d daydreamed for too long.

“Sorry,” he offered, as he released his grip, leaving her to sputter and choke. Looking at her, knowing that she was not you suddenly made him want to choke himself, to bring forth that impromptu garden of unrequited feelings.

He patted her on the back gingerly, and once it looked like she’d restabilized, pulled her in for another kiss. 

If only her lips tasted like yours.

---

Shoko’s hand glided against the curve of your hips, taking in the image of you sleeping softly on your side, facing her. She dipped down to kiss your nose; it was the only time the fact that she had such an issue with sleep benefited her, this ability to almost always wake up before you.

You looked incredibly peaceful while sleeping, and she had to admit this angelic view of you was even better than your features twisted in a pleasured mewl (not that it wasn’t a close battle).

There was a nagging concern in the pit of her stomach, however.

Gojo suffering from unrequited love could be a problem, if the object of his affections did happen to be you. But it had been years ago that he’d pursued you unsuccessfully, why present now?

Why present to her office of all people? Gojo could be inconsiderate, but not to this extent. 

But what if he didn’t know that this was what he was feeling? Suppressed feelings taking root and morphing themselves into the tangible he couldn’t ignore?

She sat up, resting her back against the backboard, the lack of a cigarette between her lips being palliated with the gnaw of her thumbnail. 

It couldn’t be. Not you. 

Please, not you.

---

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Shoko checked in about a week later.

Gojo didn’t share that he’d spent the entire morning in a coughing fit of petals, now definitely streaked with blood, and the entire last night vomiting enough flowers into the toilet that it had overflowed.

He didn’t comment on the entire scarlet sage plants with large green leaves that threatened to sprout from every orifice, not just his throat, but his ears and nostrils, possibly from behind his eyes.

He didn’t know what was next, only that it was getting worse.

The constant fire in the pit of his stomach, the shivers, the chills, the incessant flash of you running through his mind, your name moaned in the darkness, his body drenched in sweat.

The fact that he knew it was because he loves you and cannot find an alternative for you.

The fact that he must have you, and only you.

“Has it gotten better or worse?” Shoko asked.

“I’m fine,” Gojo reassured her, masking the exhaustion in his voice, and she made the mistake of believing him.

---

You awoke in darkness with an icy cold searing into your skin.

It took you a moment to let your eyes adjust to the light and for your body to resume the motor control it had briefly relinquished in sleep before you could reorient yourself. You were laying on ground of some sort, maybe hardwood which implied that you were in some kind of building. 

Your head throbbed viciously as you shifted slowly to a sitting position and you almost expected there to be blood as you ran your hands over the back of your head, checking for injury. But there was nothing, just the normal feel of your hair, and the steady thump of your temples in time with your pounding heart.

Looking around, your eyes soon fixed to the low light, not actual darkness to center on a figure in the center of the room.

You let out a gasp of surprise.

Gojo.

Not only had it been a while and he was the last person you expected to see, he looked stranger than he ever had.

He sat perched on a chair backwards, chin leaning on the top of the backrest. His head was tilted, and he watched you warily but fixedly through eyes that looked sunken into their orbits. Their clear blue was still sharp in the darkness.

His skin had taken on an almost ghostly cast to match his hair, and he was thinner than you remembered as though he had been slowly withering away since the last time you saw him. That was ages ago.

Your limbs froze in anticipation. You didn’t have to be a genius to recognize that whatever was happening or was about to happen was bad.

“Why did you bring me here?”

He stared at you blankly for a moment, unmoving. If he weren’t so extraordinarily fatigued, he would have sat up straighter in his chair and offered you a smile. You were still as pretty as the day he first laid eyes on you, after all. What a welcome sight.

“I guess I missed you,” he responded instead, quietly. 

Your teeth gritted as you flared up in indignation.

“Excuse me?”

He cut you off with a loud, exasperated sigh, mustering the little bit of energy he had left to run a hand through his hair.

“Listen, I thought I’d forgotten myself, but it turns out that I’m being betrayed by my own body.”

As though to add effect, a coughing fit began just at the end of his sentence, and you watched as he spat flowers into the palm of his hand, lowering them for you to see.

“And it seems like you’re the cause of this.”

Your eyes widened as you took in the sight of bloody petals falling through his fingertips and hitting the ground.

He was completely out of his mind.

“I…,” you shakily got yourself up to your feet, not letting your gaze leave Gojo for a second. He didn’t get out of the chair, but he did shift so that he leaned back in the seat, a wicked smile on his face.

“You...?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” You spat. “Where the hell am I and how did I get here?”

He finally did get up, although it was done in a dramatic, strained movement. He really had lost weight, you noticed, picking up the flash of pale wrists before he shoved his hands in his pocket.

“I know it sounds crazy but apparently, according to your girlfriend, I’m suffering from lovesickness.”

He bared more of his teeth now, looking more like a grimace than a grin by this time. “I didn’t believe it either, but then I started seeing you in my mind every single waking moment.”

In the split second it took for you to blink, he had crossed the distance between you, so that he was now in your personal space, the palm of his hand inappropriately caressing your face, as tender as you’d expect from Shoko.

And you immediately jumped back and backhanded him as hard as you could.

The crack of your hand was loud and exaggerated, reverberating in the room. For a moment, you froze in shock, surprised the slap had actually landed, before shaking out your now burning hand and following up with a hiss.

“Don’t you fucking touch me.”

Gojo’s icy blue eyes glint, demonic in their delight.

“That’s the feisty bitch I remember.”

---

It was nearing 24 hours since you’d failed to reply to Shoko’s text and the normally collected woman was terribly anxious.

She’d stayed at work late, and still, not a single message from you. 

The nagging feeling in the back of her mind returned.

What if it were you?

Gojo couldn’t be that insane, could he?

When she entered your home to find traces of red salvia scattered throughout your home, it only confirmed her fears.

---

“I don’t want to do this either. I mean it.”

It was hard to believe him when he seemed to savor every brush of the lips as he trailed kisses along your inner thighs, spread open with the force of his hands. Gojo had always been deceptively strong, even now, when it looked like he was wilting just as much as the flowers he coughed up. 

Your wrists were bound to a fixed point at the head of a foreign bed, and your ankles to the bedposts anteriorly to prevent you from fighting. Not that you would have been able to fight back anyway, but the severe fatigue permeating his very bones made him less willing to risk anything.

When his lips made it to your center to circle your clit, you writhed in disgust, forcing back the sighs of pleasure that would inevitably ensure.

“Y-you can’t - ah - make me love you…”

Gojo paused the swishing of his tongue to give you a look that reeked enough of apathy that it was almost startling.

“I’m aware, but there’s no harm in trying.”

---

“Where the fuck is she?”

Satoru had the ostentatiousness within him to receive the phone call on speaker, so that you could hear Shoko beg to find out your whereabouts.

“She’s with me,” he replied, calmly to her, holding the phone in one hand and pumping fingers in and out of your slippery cunt with the other. 

By this time, Gojo had gotten tired of your expletives which no longer retained the initial cute charm, so your screams for help were muffled by a gag over your own wet panties shoved into your mouth.

He’d been at this for hours.

There was a pause on the phone from Shoko’s end that sounded like something crashing to the ground, maybe a plate breaking.

Her tone changed immediately.

“P-please don’t hurt her.”

“I’m not.”

He glanced at you who glared back at him with reddened eyes and tear-stained cheeks. You looked even prettier when you were so totally helpless.

“I would never,” he added.

The pump of his fingers slowed but did not stop.

“This won’t fix you,” Shoko warned, almost in a low protective hiss, her own voice breaking. “This won’t fix anything, you bastard.”

He cut off the phone abruptly, and let out a sigh before shifting his attention back to you.

“Where were we?”

---

Maybe if I pretend, he’ll stop?

Or will he continue? Will I just affirm that he won?

His thrusts were relentless, as was the constant tugging at your hair, the teeth sinking into every inch of your skin, the moans and groans whispered into your ears or your bosom.

A violation in every sense of the word.

You were running out of tears.

The fact that it’s pointless, you and he both know it. Your true love knows it, that this is just an excuse to get back at you. For what? Rejection? 

He would die anyway. You would never return his feelings, if there even truly were any. 

He continued to rut into you, and flowers started to stain every inch of your bodies, covering them in a deep scarlet.

Red. Red. Red.

Blood. Rage. Power. Passion.

You probably didn’t need the restraints anymore. You had no fight left in you. 

Just the satisfaction, however small, that regardless of what he did to you, he would still eventually succumb to nature and perish in a bed of putrid efflorescence.

[reckzieblogs]

SAFE AND LOW CAL FOODS I LOVE

i just wanna give a usual disclaimer that i am not trying to promote eating disorders in any way shape or form and if you do not have one or are new to this app please look after yourself and delete this before it is too late because it’s a horrible existence! stay safe ily 💜

i’m very lazy and cannot cook for the life of me so if you’re the same this might help

1. M&S chunky chicken and vegetable soup

- 81 cals for half a tin

this tastes absolutely amazing like you wouldn’t even know you’re eating something so low calorie and filling, i usually have an appetite but a tin of this can keep me full all day

any low cal soup is so good as it’s liquid and fills you up while also giving you energy

2. eggs

70 cal per egg give or take depending on size

- they’re very high in protein and super filling and versatile you can do poached, boiled, scrambled, fried (with frylite of course)

3. greek yogurt

the brand i use is fage 0% and for 100g it is 54cal and about 10g of protein, this is a little sour so i always use some honey but there is a 2% version (70cal per 100g) and a 5%(90 cal per 100g) which taste great and don’t need sweetener

4. tuna!!!

i love tuna i know lots of people hate it but at 50cal for half a tin it’s a no brained. it’s super filling and if you like 15g of light mayo (about 40cal) just makes this taste so good

- try a bell pepper filled with tuna for dinner or something if you feel like making it a meal!

5. coke zero

classic ana drink but can’t go wrong, always fills me up and tastes amazing i drink so much especially on fasting days

6. porridge packs

i always get abit scared making my own oats incase my measurements are off (and i suck at cooking lol) but the just add water packs of oats are so good, you can get flavoured ones, plain ones whatever you like and it’s just add water

7. frozen grapes

another ana classic but again they’re never a miss

i have a huge sweet tooth and frozen grapes always satisfy it and it doesn’t take that many to satisfy me, also because they’re frozen you have to suck on them a while (lmao)

8. hard boiled candy

candy is a scary one and some days fruit won’t cut it so if you’re gonna have candy get hard boiled ones, because you have to suck for a long time (lmao) by the time you’re done you already have your sugar fix and you don’t have the urge to binge on them! - they aren’t a regular binge food anyway for me personally

9. squah!

not the veggie lol, for my non brits it’s a juice concentrate you dilute with water and because it’s diluted you take in a lot of liquid which fills your stomach while also having that sweet satisfaction (extra tip: dilute with soda water or diet lemonade to make it taste of soda and to fill you up more)

i didn’t wanna put stuff like apples, black coffee ect as we have seen it all before but these are just some of my personal safe foods and if anyone is struggling to find some new ones i hope this helps! stay safe lovelies 🤎

[weaselle]

cooking for people who have no idea what they are doing (or are just, like, real depressed)

Okay, I’m a professional cook, but also, I get depressed. This is the cooking I do when I’m depressed, because I need the simplest path to a whole meal.

This is not for vegetarians, because, while I wholeheartedly support people choosing vegetarianism, and also enjoy cooking for vegetarians, for me, the simplest path to a meal includes meat. Perhaps when I am less depressed I will work on options.

A lot of recipes focus on achieving food that is in some way special, using special techniques, or using a precise list of carefully measured high-end ingredients... and that’s not this, this is all the parts of cooking that are not those things.

First, shopping

Meats Starches Veggies Sauces Breakfast/Snack

For a whole week you’re going to want

3 kinds of meat, with five portions each. So, for example, five chicken breasts, 10 sausage links, and 2-3 pounds of ground beef. Other possibilities include pork chops, salmon, some kind of steak, whatever. 

You’re going to want up to 3 starches. Honestly I usually stick to just rice, but you can go with rice, potatoes, and pasta. If you want to use quinoa or polenta or something, thats on you.

And, you’re going to want about 3 types of vegetables, again, about 5 portions each -- and try to stay green. So personally, I usually get 5 medium zucchini, 2 medium heads of broccoli, and then either yellow squash or mushrooms. A bag of salad greens is also a good option, and I have an easy way to make a good salad, which I will do as a separate post.

Next pick something easy that works as either breakfast or a snack. For me this is a loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter, and a bunch of bananas. Sometimes it’s nice to have an additional option here, like cereal or yogurt. 

Last, you’ll want 2-5 sauces in bottles. I would definitely recommend a low sodium soy sauce be one of them, and maybe a BBQ sauce for the other. I usually also include worcestershire and sriracha but go with whatever you want, teriyaki sauce, A1, whatever you know you’ll eat. Hell, you can use Italian style salad dressing as a cookable sauce if you really want.

Oh, and If you don’t already have some at the house, you’ll need pan lube: butter and/or some kind of cooking oil. 

Okay! we’re done shopping! Affordability isn’t the main focus here, but is undeniably important -- I live in a very expensive area, this shopping trip is going to feed me well for a week and costs me about $100 bucks. When I was living in Alabama, it probably would have cost me more like $70. You won’t need to get stuff like the sauce and rice and peanut butter every week, so you’re definitely looking at a monthly grocery bill of something like $300 depending on where you live, and that’s not too bad. 

Prep

hell no, I’m depressed, the only prep I’m doing is putting two packages of meat in the freezer and the rest of this stuff in the fridge. You CAN box or bag each portion of meat separately so you can really alternate what you eat -- me, I’m gonna eat chicken for two or three days, then beef for two or three days, etc.

and listen, don’t fuck around with microwave settings or running water on things to defrost them. If you package the meat all up separately, just move a portion from the freezer to the fridge each time you cook dinner. Or, if you do like me, move the whole package when you go to cook your last portion of the previous stuff, and just deal with the fact that it will probably still be a tiny bit frozen when you go to cook next.

Tip: When you cook dinner, you’re going to make enough for lunch. That just leaves you one small meal - I often smear peanut butter on a peice of bread and wrap it around a banana like a taco - fast, easy, practically no dishes, relatively healthy

____________________________________________________________

Cooking (this is going to take about 25 minutes)

You’re going to need

ONE frying pan, medium size w/ lid ONE boil pot, medium size w/ lid knife, a spatula and a cutting board.

If you want to be fancy, you can include a big spoon. Looks like this

No matter what the specific ingredients you’ve chosen, the basic format is going to be:

Start your starch heat pan, put meat in the pan flip meat and add veggies, cover with lid remove meat and add sauce finish starch put everything on a plate while it is still too hot to eat and you are standing in the kitchen anyway, wash the like, 4 dishes you’ve gotten dirty. eat.

Okay, before you even get everything else out, start your starch. For rice this means rinse the rice and put it in the cold water and set it on high heat, for pasta this means put your salted water on the stove on high heat. For potatoes, you can use my perfect mashed potatoes recipe (I’ll do that as a separate post) or, honestly, you can wait until you’re halfway done with the rest of everything and microwave the sucker for like 8 minutes. I would never do that in a restaurant, but trying to feed my lethargic depressed ass? Absolutely.

easy rice: Fill your smallest coffee cup with rice, put it in the pot. Rinse. Fill the same cup twice with water, add to rice. Bring to a boil, give a good stir, turn heat all the way down, put a lid on it for something like 15 more minutes.

Okay, now lube your pan. Butter, olive oil, whatever. You’re probably looking at an amount more than a teaspoon and less than a table spoon of whichever you use. Personally I try to use as little olive oil as possible, so I pour a large coin sized amount (a quarter in the U.S.) into the pan, ear off a piece of the paper towel I’m going to use as my napkin for the evening, fold it up tight, and sort of paint the oil around so a little goes a longer way.

Pan lubed? Great, turn your burner on. highest heat will work but is not ideal, medium heat will work better but is still not ideal. Halfway between the two is perfect for chicken, a little hotter for beef, a little lower for fish.

Now remove two portions of your chosen protein (that way you’ll have tomorrow’s lunch too). By the time you get the packaging open and stuff, your pan is probably hot. If it’s not, let it get hot. You don’t want the oil to start smoking (warning, butter will burn faster than oil) but if you shake a single drop of water off your finger into the pan, you want it to sizzle.

If your pan is hot, put your meat in. The more you do this, the more you’ll perfect the timing, but you’re going to cook it for ~about~ 7 minutes before you flip it, maybe a couple minutes longer if it’s chicken or pork, maybe a couple minutes less if it’s beef.

Now that your meat is in, prepare your veggie. Rinse it off, cut off any part of it you don’t want to eat, and then cut what’s left into pieces the size of a large bite. Don’t worry, it’s going to get a little smaller when you cook it. Take your time, you’ll probably finish in less time than the meat needs.

Time to flip your meat? Great. Do that, and then dump your chopped up veggie in the pan. It does not matter at all if the pieces are not touching the bottom of the pan -probably most of them will not be, a bunch will be on top of the meat, that’s fine.

Put a lid on it. Now add your pasta to the water, or put your potato in the microwave, or check your rice. If following my perfect mashed potato recipe, mash now.

Rice tip, checking: eat a grain, you want zero crunch. If it’s not done and there’s no liquid, add a splash of water and stir. It it’s done or close to done, but it is still very wet, give it a big stir and leave on the stove with the lid off for a couple minutes.

Your meat still has like, at least 4 minutes, so rinse off your cutting board and chef knife, get out a plate, table knife and fork.

 Meat done? Great. Take the meat out of the pan, leaving the veggies in. Add sauce to the pan. I like to also use a little wine, because it’s usually already in the house, if you have some and want to, pour a large swallow of wine in the pan with the sauce. I’ll often mix a couple sauces, like worcestershire and soy (makes something similar to teriyaki) or hot sauce and BBQ

Stir the sauce around with the veggies. This, called deglazing, is an important step for two reasons, 1: it will get up a lot of the flavorful stuff that has stuck to the pan and make your sauce better, and 2: it will make washing the pan much easier. Okay, put the lid back on for one to two minutes, maybe stir a couple times. Basically you want the sauce to stain the veggies.

Your starch should be done, turn off the burner, put a portion on your plate, and stick the rest in a ziplock or tupperware or something. Go ahead and throw the second portion of meat right in there with it. 

Turn off the stove and scoop the veggies onto the plate, and pour the sauce from the pan over everything.

Now, while it’s too hot to eat, and you’re standing in the kitchen anyway, wash the pot, pan, and spatula. It should be very easy because of the way you used the sauce and because nothing has had a chance to harden. This usually takes me about 2 full minutes.

__________________________________________________________

OKAY! it’s been 20-25 minutes, you’ve got dinner and tomorrow’s lunch (just add another cut up veggie, pour a different sauce on, and put it in the microwave for two or three minutes) AND there’s no danger of dishes piling up on you :) You can even add “washing last night’s plate and fork for use tonight” to where you rinse the cutting board to really keep it full circle.

It’s not gormet. It IS accessibly healthy, affordable, and easy.

If you are extra depressed, forget the starch and use more veggies; this cuts what little work there is by up to half

Using this format, you can have three good meals per day and only spend 30 total minutes a day in the kitchen — including clean up! (dishes piling up tends to exacerbate my depression and makes cooking your next meal harder)

And it’s easy to give yourself a wide variety, from soy glazed chicken, zucchini and rice one night; to steak, mushrooms and pasta the next; followed by BBQ pork chops, brocoli and potatoes... I suck at math but there’s probably a hundred options

Just to recap, because I know I was very detailed and this might seem overwhelming, once you read through the above to answer any questions you might have, simply

-Start your starch -lube & heat pan, put meat in the pan, about 7 minutes -flip meat, add veggies, lid, about 7 minutes -wash knife and cutting board -remove meat and add sauce to veggies, re-lid, 1-2 minutes -finish starch, refrigerate extra meat and starch  -put everything left on a plate -wash pot and pan -eat.

[drrealityslenderverse]

Being Human

Wattpad Request: HABIT tries to be human

Back to Contents || Back to One-shot Contents

“Teach me.”

Vinny looked up from across the room, confusion clouding his expression. “What?”

“I’m curious, teach me what it’s like to be a human.” HABIT stared at him, the request seemed genuine but it was still unexpected. Many of their viewers already knew HABIT wasn’t human, as he did very little to hide it. It was baffling why he’d want to learn now.

“Um… why, exactly?”

“Your short, unimportant lives always amused me…” Well, the insult was more in character for him so Vinny supposed HABIT wasn’t entirely losing it. “Humor me. Show me what humans normally do when their lives aren’t on the verge of being taken.”

It still wasn’t the answer he’d wanted and Vinny was fairly certain this was either going to be used to torment him or was HABIT’s way of coming up with new creative ways to torture their ‘guests’. Either way, he couldn’t exactly tell the entity to shove it.

“Okay…”

It wasn’t the worst mistake Vinny had ever made but sometimes he regretted it. They started with ‘easy’ human things: cleaning, hygiene, and cooking. HABIT wasn’t a slob but he did tend to waltz around covered in blood and ragged clothing way too often. Vinny sometimes had to wonder how the cops hadn’t been called about it yet. Not to mention the constant supply of pizza and fast food. It was enough that just the name of a fast food joint could make him gag by now. He couldn’t imagine what all of it was doing to Evan’s body and had to wonder if Evan was even still alive in there.

The process was… slow. HABIT was either stubborn or just really trying to test his patience. Vinny once again took a deep breath. “No, no… you’ll burn the house down—though I’m sure you’d love that.”

“So… what? I have to actually wait? Turning up the heat should cook things faster.”

“That’s… that’s just not how it works okay?” He jolted as HABIT dumped the charred remains down the garbage disposal, the knife sliding down the drain with it. The entity was about to flip the switch with a suspicious grin when Vinny shouted at him. “Wait! You can’t just turn it on with silverware in there. You’ll break it.”

That smirk was still on his face as he began reaching into the drain. “Alright, I’ll take it out.”

“No!” Exasperated, he risked pushing HABIT away from the sink entirely. “You’ll cut your hand off or something.”

“What? You think the disposal’s going to get possessed and turn on or something?”

“Just… Let’s move onto something else for now.” He glanced up and down at the tattered plaid jacket and jeans. “Clothes. You can’t just walk around in that. People will see that and the blood and call the police.”

“Like they could stop me.” A huff escaped the entity, partially amused at the thought of how much fun he could have with that while also thinking about how they’d dare try to challenge him.

“Not the point.”

HABIT grumbled under his breath as he let Vinny lead the way upstairs and to one of the bedrooms. The man tried not to think about the previous owner as he began going through the closet. “Um, okay. These look like they’d fit… Feel free to pick stuff out.”

He’d left the room, not wanting to feel as though he was invading Evan’s privacy even if it wasn’t him in control. Besides, no matter what HABIT picked out it’d be better than what he’d been wearing. At least… that’s what he’d thought. The entity always had a flair for mis-matched outfits but seeing him come out with a ridiculous tropical print button up shirt with the most red-neck USA shirt underneath, jeans that were actually the most normal part of the outfit, and his white fedora… Vinny just stood there silently.

“You gonna close your mouth or are you trying to hint at something?” He was clearly pleased with the reaction.

“I, uh, yeah. That’s… better.” He snapped his mouth shut and turned around. “Huhmm, let’s go to the store, buy some stuff to make dinner.”

“How much do ba—”

“I know what you’re going to say. Don’t you dare.” He gave HABIT a sharp look over his shoulder. “Please do not try to eat a baby or anyone else while we’re there.”

“You must be real fun at parties.”

A whistle pierced the air as HABIT called for one of the weird pets he used to film around the house. Vinny shook his head again. “No, we are not taking that with us. Do you know what people would do?”

“Freak out.”

“Exactly. Now, come on. I’m going to, regretfully, let you drive.” He hoped this wasn’t signing his death warrant. It was unlikely, he’d probably signed that long ago.

Thankfully, HABIT’s attempts to commit murder via their busted down car didn’t work. The hunk of junk could barely hit thirty and the pair managed to make it to the store without much fuss—aside from the entity’s grumblings of disappointment. Vinny grabbed a cart and pushed it to the produce section, fully aware if he’d let HABIT do it he’d probably run it into his ankles at every given opportunity.

“Can’t believe you want to make hamburgers. Aren’t you sick of them?” He sighed, picking up the package and dropping it in the cart before moving on.

“Well it wasn’t my first choice.”

“You can’t just go around asking if you can eat someone’s child!” Vinny harshly whispered back, though still caught someone giving them a look and leaving the area. “Great.”

“Never said I was going to ask. You know picking it up and taking—”

“That’s even worse.”

HABIT gave a low snarl of annoyance and stalked after his little pet. Clearly his running joke about this wasn’t getting anywhere. “I swear it’s almost like you don’t even know who I am.”

“Doesn’t matter. You wanted to play human so here we are.” A thrill shot through him, he’d never been able to talk back so much without HABIT lashing out.

The two wandered the store for a bit, finally getting a little serious with their task. After checking out, Vinny decided he had to silently admit HABIT wasn’t the worst at pretending to be a human… He just never seemed to care about hiding the fact he wasn’t. “Least now we have some variety to eat…”

Cooking was another matter. He didn’t know how it happened but he’d left HABIT alone to flip the burgers for ten seconds and came back to see the food was on fire. If he was being honest, he’d almost think HABIT was trying to pretend he was a Sims character. Growing tired, Vinny just helped clean up the area and prepped some food himself.

“How long do you plan to keep this up?” He sat down at the table with his plate, watching as HABIT played with one of his many knives. “I mean, clearly you’re just doing this to fuck with me.”

“You haven’t taught me anything.”

Alarm shot through him at the sudden cold tone. “W-what?”

“I wanted to learn what it’s like to be human.”

“Well… this… this is what people do.”

The knife flashed as HABIT pointed it at him. “Yes but this is just… part of it. The surface. The boring shit. It doesn’t make you human.”

Silence fell between them. Vinny eyed the weapon with more caution than a few seconds prior. Was HABIT going to punish him for whatever he’d done wrong? He hated how his stomach churned with fear.

“Tomorrow… you’ll do it right.” The knife was back to being examined by its owner, pointed safely away from Vinny. “Show me… humanity as a whole. Make me see how your species is defined. Morality seems like a good place to start… Don’t tell me you don’t hate how I feel nothing for what I’ve done. Show me how you humans use all that brain power you brag about to show self-consciousness and all that… mushy nonsense.”

A sharp grin spread across HABIT’s face as he mocked and challenged the man across from him. Vinny paled. This was going to be a nightmare.

[sxnnimoon]

Little One pt.3

Here is part 3 my pretty's! Hope you enjoy! And as always my requests are open. Happy reading!

Paring- OT7 x Reader (poly)

Summary- Through your husbands line of work they take a week or more off to spend some time with their wife.

-------------------------------------------

You couldn’t tell if it was real or not, the sensation you were feeling was almost euphoric. Looking under the covers you saw the culprit. Jungkook was between your legs devouring you. You let out a moan to let him know you were fully aware of what he was doing.

He looked up at you.

“Good morning baby.” He smiled before continuing.

He knew you were close just by the tone in your moans.

“Cum baby, let go.” He whispered.

You cried out before releasing into his mouth.

He cleaned you up smiling at what he just did.

You pulled him up to cuddle you.

“Thank you Kookie.” You smiled, closing your eyes.

“Don’t go back to sleep,” he said, tickling you. “Breakfast will get cold then.”

Your head popped up at the thought of food. You got up, still naked from last night's activities. You went ahead and threw your robe on not bothering to put on clothes.

“Let’s go.” He said throwing you over his shoulder running to the dining room.

You were a giggling mess.

He finally put you down, your babies were already there waiting for you, they had dropped their suits for lounge wear. You liked seeing them like this.

“Took you long enough.” Yoongi said.

“We asked you to wake her,” Namjoon said.

“I did.” Kook protested.

“With his mouth.” You smirked digging into your breakfast.

They all groaned, wishing they had thought to do that.

Jungkook had the biggest grin on his face.

“No whining,” you said. “We have too much to do today before we leave.”

They nodded in agreement.

Once you all finished eating, they each took the liberty of cleaning up for you.

You were currently in your closet trying to pick out the best outfits for Italy. You knew not to over do it as they were no doubt going to spoil you.

You were looking at all your fancier dresses as you knew they would want nothing more than to party while on this vacation. You brought you short but high cut silver dress that drove Yoongi crazy but also your black dress with the all mesh skirt that had slits down either side. After choosing your shoes you made the final touches for lingerie and zipped up your suitcase.

You walked over to Namjoons room as he never knew what to pack, so being the good wife you were, you decided to get it out of the way for him.

After making sure everything was packed, you changed and decided to get in a few laps in the pool.

Walking out you noticed Taehyung had the same idea as you.

“Fancy seeing you here.” You smiled at him.

Hi my little dove.” He smiled up at you. “Hop in.”

“I think I like the view from over here.” You smirked sitting at the edge of the pool.

He instantly swam over to you. He stopped a few feet in front of you. You could sense the mischief in his eyes.

“Don’t you dare.” You warned him slowly going to get up.

But it was too late. He splashed you.

“KIM TAEHYUNG!” You shouted.

His eyes went wide, he knew he fucked up. He ducked under the water trying to swim away but you jumped in after him, catching him instantly.

“I’m sorry baby.” He said arms up in defense.

“Sure you are.” You said before dunking him underwater.

He quickly recovered. Shaking out his hair in your face.

You glare at him before swimming to the shallow end.

“Oh come on baby.” He pouted at you. “Don’t be like that.”

He pulled you closer to him. Wrapping your legs around him.

“I’m not falling for it.” You said trying to squirm out of his grasp.

“You know you wanna.” He said kissing your jaw and neck.

You knew he was right, you practically were putty in his hands. You just had to give in.

“Be quick about it,” you began. “Lunch won’t cook itself.”

“I’ll be quick.” He smirked, moving your bottoms to the side.

He slid in with ease. You moaned at the sensation. He was definitely thicker than the others. He set a quick and fast pace that would get you both off. It didn’t take long for that to happen. He was out of breath.

“Will you two get out of the pool?” Jin said a bit sternly. “We have things to do. That can all wait.”

Jin helped you out of the pool.

“I’m sure you want me twice as bad right now.” You said running a finger down his pants.

He shivered under your touch.

“Don’t tempt me, little one.” He gave you a hard look.

You just smirked running off after Tae.

Night was setting in and you had to be on a plane in 5 hours. You hand the luggage placed in front of the door doing a final count.

“I have 6,” you yelled. “Who's missing?”

“We’re coming!” Shouted Kookie and Jimin.

“Of course it would be you two.” Yoongi said.

“Play nice.” You glared at him.

He rolled his eyes.

“Only for you.” He cooed in your ear.

“You’ve gone soft.” Hobi said.

“Only for her.” Yoongi smiled.

“Okay, does everyone have what they need.” You smiled at them.

They all responded with yes. You couldn’t wait to spend time with them in Rome. You all piled into the limo and headed for your jet. Once the flight took off Kookie was already passed out. You smiled at him, caressing his cheek, making him smile in his sleep.

You moved your attention back to your book. It was a gift from Joonie, ever since you got it you could not put it down. You yawned.

“Get some sleep kitten.” Yoongi said, placing his hand on your thigh.

You nodded, soon falling asleep to him running circles on your thigh. You had woken up just in time for landing.

“Morning jagiya.” Jimin smiled. “We’ll be landing soon.”

Once off the plane it was about 1:30 in the afternoon. Everyone was tired over the 13+ hour flight. You just wanted to get to the villa and crash.

Pulling up to the place you were in awe. It was right by the water with a private beach. It was just you guys. The scenery looked out of a movie. You really picked a good place for this long week.

“The place is beautiful princess.” Taehyung came up behind you.

Walking in the place was huge. It had large windows, A giant kitchen. It was heaven. You took notice of the cats that walked around the back of the villa throughout the garden.

One in particular caught your eyes. She was black with a white spot in the shape of a heart on her forehead. She was gorgeous. Overlooking the garden it had a gazebo and waterfall towards the center. It was covered in roses. Moving on to the bedrooms there were 8 in total. The boys would each get their own room as you would yourself. Even though some of them would no doubt be sleeping in your room. You all were finally settling in but you were far from wanting to just sleep. You wanted to go out and explore, though you knew they wouldn’t let you out of their sight.

“I wanna do something.” you pouted, plopping down on the couch next to Namjoon.

“We’ll do things tomorrow baby.” Hoseok said.

“But I wanna go swimming.” you whined.

“Don’t start.” Jin warned.

“Fine.” you said getting up.

They assumed you gave in but you had other plans in mind. You slowly began undressing as you walked to the back door leading to the private beach.

“I’m going down by the water.” you called out not bothering to look at them.

“Oka- Y/N!” Jin yelled.

The yell caught all of their attention. You took that as your que to run for the water. The sun was already setting and thankfully you chose a place where no one would disturb you all. You were almost to the water, looking back you saw all seven of them running after you. As soon as the water hit your feet you dove right in, they all stopped right at the edge.

“Y/n get over here, Now!” Yoongi yelled.

“Cut the shit lets go.” Hobi said after him.

“Come in and get me.” you smirked, putting your head back and swimming a bit farther.

“You’re being a brat right now and I’m not having it.” Taehyung said.

“Come in daddy, the water feels nice.” you rubbed your hands on your breasts pushing them up a bit.

“That's it.” Yoongi said before throwing his shoes off and running in after you.

A hint of regret sank in as Yoongi was not one to get into water. You really were in for it now.

“Are we gonna do this the easy way or hard way?” he said with a growl.

You looked him in the eyes almost pleading and to say sorry.

“Don’t be shy now kitten, you’re in for it now.” he chuckled, lifting you over his shoulders giving your ass a hard slap.

Walking past the others they just chuckled at the look on your face. You looked to them for help, but nothing.

The trip up to your room seemed like it took forever, the hallway seemed to look longer than usual. As soon as you were in your room he set you on the bed still showing some kindness but that would soon be over with.

“I’m going to grab something and I expect you to be laid down and spread out for me.” he said power within his words.

To say you weren’t turned on was an understatement. You were dripping. The dom in Yoongi was what you lived for. Just thinking about what he was going to do to you made you moan.

He re-entered the room with silk ropes in his hand. You knew them all too well. He had brought them from home.

“Wrists kitten.” he said.

You held them up.

“So obedient.” he cooed, tying the ropes tight but not too tight.

“I’m sorry baby.” you pouted as he kissed down your body.

“Apologies won’t save you now, little one.” he said, kissing your thighs.

He ran a finger down your folds causing you to buck forward.

“None of that.” he said looking up at you.

He began teasing you, his mouth was of an expert. He knew you were about to come just by how whiny you were getting. He stopped as soon as you were about to let go.

You let out a groan. Only to be flipped over.

“What did I tell you?” he said climbing on you, pulling you up by your hair causing you to moan. “You come when I tell you.” he let go of your hair.

You had arched your back waiting for him to do something.

“Yoongi?” you began. “Are you still the-” you yelled out at the feeling of him entering you.

“You really need to start behaving kitty.” he groaned, slapping your ass.

“But II-I like riling you up.” you moaned out best you could.

“Yeah?” he asked, picking up the pace.

You cried out.

“Be. A good. Girl.” he said between thrusts. “And you might be able to come.”

He kept pounding into you, you were sure the whole villa could hear you.

“I’m close baby.” you whined out.

“Hold on kitten, I'm always there.” he breathed out.

You were a moaning mess.

“Cum kitty.” he said running circles on your clit.

You screamed out reaching your high, soon after he followed with his.

He crawled up to you, untying your wrists.

“You really gotta listen baby.” he caressed your face.

“I just wanted to have some fun.” you pouted.

“I know,” he said. “Take a nap and I'll get you when dinner is ready.”

You nodded while closing your eyes. He smiled and kissed your head.

[jiminrings]

last chronological part for stem koo... WHEW I WATCHED THEM GROW WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN NOW

cold senior!y/n x stem major koo masterlist :D

they finally become lunchbox lovers

“you’re asking me what’s jungkook like?”

jimin couldn't be any more surprised

first of all, his day started with yOU texting him and asking if you can drop by for a second, and the moment he texted "sure???", you're literally already knocking on the door

and second, you're asking him???

“oh come on. he clings to you with every chance he gets. i thought you gave him a chance already.”

your eyes only deadpan that jimin actually gets the hint, his mouth curling in a eureka moment that he managed to figure out himself without you talking

“oH! so that’s why you’re asking me because you’re thinking of giving him an actual chance.”

alright finally

you slump in relief over not saying it out loud, expressing the slightest bit of worry you have to someone (that's not as close to you like yoongi and jin are) who'd get where you're coming from without bias

“i just wanna know how he usually is when he’s not on my heels.”

“honestly? the same. probably even a bit more clingier.”

jimin wastes no time in ratting jungkook out, even leaning back to the couch with how relaxed he is

“talks about you too. i’m sorry y/n but even i know what shampoo you use!!!”

jimins knows your wHAT

"my shampoo???"

“mhmm. made me drive him to a grocery store at 10 in the evening so he can individually smell all the shampoos without anyone calling him a creep or something like that,” he nods earnestly and doesn't look like he's playing with you or the sort

you're quite frozen and jungkook's roommate isn't at all fazed and is even pulling up pICTURES of their impromptu grocery trip

“he even made it in a scientific paper format. with the hypothesis and conclusion and everything.”

he points it out just in time when you swipe to jimin's hand holding a printed piece of paper with the document in the monitor right behind it, the next pictures being blurry because that's when jungkook freaked out

jimin gets his phone back but not without sending you the pictures you just saw even if you didn't ask for them, trying to hide the amusement in your eyes when you decide to scroll through them again later

“cut him some slack though. he’s never really had a girlfriend, y’know? or like even a crush. he’s just navigating it with his instincts and all the advice he gets.”

hold on a second

“... advice?”

he thought you'd never ask (he'll still say it even if you don't) which is why he brightly grins, hunching over as if to let you in on a guarded secret

“i’m one of his consultants!!! didn’t suggest the shampoo part though.”

who could have possibly thought of that idea then ://

you hum in faux complacency, trying to get this as fast as possible so you could make up your mind quicker

“what else?”

jimin's relaxed now that he's had a proper laugh with you and realized you aren't as Intimidating As He Thought You Were, recounting the things in his mind like a to-do list

“he’s sickeningly kind.”

the gravity of his words strike him before they do with you, straightening his posture to clear up the air right away, “but i knoW that what he did to you is the furthest thing from kind, and trust me, i really got that point across!!!”

by point, jimin means cooking him burnt meals and jungkook having to endure it because he doesn't like wasting food

additionally, that also meant jimin served kook a cRISP smack on the back of his boba ball head into next week

look at him <3 seokjin, yoongi AND jimin gave him shit!!! now isn;t that teamwork

you're unable to paint the mental image in your head because he continues, grabbing your attention once again

“but apart from that, jungkook could just be too kind for his own sake,” he says sincerely. “he’s like the kid the principal refers to in elementary when they talk about peer pressure!!!”

your first instinct is to snort at that, the mental image definitely forming in your head now

is it just sO bad that you and jimin agree on this

“jokes aside, jungkook’s really genuine.”

it's the last thing jimin wraps it off with when you stand from the couch, cheeks still a little warm when he trails you behind the door

you're just about to thank him when the door in front of you opens and almost hits you in the process, the person behind it just as alarmed

jungkook’s just now coming home because he had to pick up some last-minute groceries from the convenience store downstairs that jimin forgot from his last run, clearly startled to why would wou be here

"oH???? y/n??? what are you doing here???"

his pupils are shaking between the two of you and he's not even trying to hide is incoming panic

“.... a-are you and jimin-“

“yup! sorry bud! we were just-...” jimin's attempt at a lighthearted joke is halted as fast as it was introduced, getting a smack on the middle of his back that makes him wince

“you’re annoying, jimin."

oOOOOH you just put your palm on him!! yea at this rate he's gonna be your best friend too won't he

jungkook's processing things as fast as he could, getting a reassuring glance from you that puts him at ease

“we were just talking, kook.”

he nods even if he's still a tiny bit unsure, calling for you when you're on your way out the door

“a-about what though?”

:-)

“you’d know soon enough.”

( ♡ )

“you wanna tell me now why we went on this drive?”

seokjin yawns at a stoplight even when his car is the only one waiting on the intersection right now, not in the mood for a ticket with a printed traffic light picture of him mid-yawn in his matching pajamas anytime soon

“no reason," you sing-song and it makes him snort, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “couldn’t sleep."

“well that makes one of us.”

you've unabashedly knocked on jin's door and even if it took you two tries, he still answered nonetheless, not even asking for an explanation why before he sleepily took his keys and grabbed his house slippers for shoes

you had no destination in mind at 3 in the morning which is why jin’s just driving for no rhyme nor direction and is just going with his brain’s one-second impulses of where to turn

he’s game for anything, actually — that much you know

although you do know that jin literally wouldn't do this for anyone else besides the people he find worth all this (aka everyone except you and yoongi and ok maybe namjoon sometimes)

the drive is beyond serene and even with repetitive radio music playing in the background, you don't actually mind it

when you're with jin, it just feels like you're in a constant bubble of comfort and ease that you always try to look for in everything

he doesn't necessarily need explanations,, he just deduces from things at face-value and later ask about it when you're comfortable enough to share

jin points at a drive-thru he suddenly had a craving for as you were about to suggest it anyway

you're not even quite sure why there's a line but neither of you complain, the situation more than bearable that a little waiting wouldn't dampen your mood

the words you've been thinking of the whole day finally slip across the silence, as casual yet as sincere as they could be

“i’m really thankful that you’re in my life, jin. you know that right?”

he seems pleasantly surprised when you look at his side profile, shaking his head

“mhmm. you only tell me a couple times but you put your knee on top of mine everyday,” he chuckles at the habit of yours and he kNOWS for a fact you would put your knee on top of his if only he wasn't behind the wheel. “tell me all about it, kid.”

it's genuine laughter that encompasses the whole car, his chuckles suddenly ceasing when he realizes another possibility

“you’re not asking me for allowance, are you? because yoongi’s already bugging me for his next month’s.”

wait what

“you give yoongi an allowance???”

“you didn’t know???”

:///

“... i’m not asking for an allowance.”

“..... but do you want it,.,..”

jin sees you pursing your lips and intentionally looking at everywhere but him, already getting his answer

“fine. that’s the furthest you two could get from me!! don’t expect me to pack your lunchboxes to school now. you must be crazy.”

jin, in fact, packs you and yoongi lunchboxes more often than not

jin, aLSO, does all the paper rolling for you so when the three of u get occasionally high, it’s all nice and tight

jin is also the one who does all the talking on the phone to customer service when neither of you are willing

he asks the moment he relays your usual midnight snack slash early breakfast order he's already memorized to the attendant, patiently looking at you

“you want anything else with that?”

“i’m all good.”

it's in between cars and stoplights that the car is filled with more emotion again, acting on it when you realize it when seokjin's mid-bite on his hashbrowns

“jin?”

“yes?” he speaks muffled, looking at you once before bringing his attention back on the changing stoplight

“love you.”

he feels himself still for a second even if his foot's on the gas and one hand is on the wheel, a somber look on his face that he later smiles sincerely

“love you too, kid.”

( ♡ )

“it’s not my birthday if that’s what you’re thinking.”

yoongi sleepily mumbles the moment he feels his bed dipping, his side that was once holding a pillow now being occupied by you

“i know.”

you wedge yourself between his heavy comforter, tossing and turning until it feels comfortable

“but i actually don’t know your birthday lol it’s-...”

“fuck right off.”

yoongi doesn't question why you're in his bed, because the last time you did, it was because you were left traumatized after seeing a genuinely good horror movie that it was pending to give you nightmares

he didn't see you watch any movie today though, but he'll take you in nonetheless

“kidding.”

you offer in consolation because yoongi's birthday is in your calendar even if you know it by heart, a mindless hum in reply

it's when you drop your arm on his waist like it's dead weight and relax completely, your face near to his mop of hair that it's making him think you're actually cuddling him rn

quick how can he get a picture of this to get this framed

“are you telling me now?”

he questions with his eyes half-open, shimmying backwards so that you're able to hug him more comfortably

“my airconditioner’s busted.”

“mhmm. give me ten minutes. i’ll fix it for you.”

it's 4 am and if your airconditioner really was busted, you wouldn't have let it stay busted for that long

“don’t. it’s okay. i wanna be here anyways.”

both you and yoongi know that your airconditioner’s in tip-top shape and is actually the one that blows the coldest air in the dorm

sometimes you think he’s an angel in disguise because there’s no way you deserve a human best friend like him

“yoongs?”

“hmm?” he hums before he falls asleep again, trying to keep up while having his eyes closed so he could listen to you

“you know that i’m really glad you’re in my life, right?”

oh

:)

“mhmm. you don’t say, sweets," he teasingly chuckles, feeling his ribcage rise in amusement under your arm

“fuck-“

“yeah, i know. i do, because you put me as your family member in your emergency contacts, but you don’t know that i know that.”

... oh

you don't even know how yoongi came to know but you don't question it, the warmth in your heart doubling

“love you.”

“love you too, y/n.”

( ♡ )

jungkook’s the most nervous he’s been in awhile

and that’s coming from him who sees yoongi in almost a daily basis

after all, jin did tell him you can be quite forgetful becasue you tend to take care of things all at once

he’ll sTILL try to be as smooth and casual as much as possible though

“big game tomorrow huh?”

and by big game that means as in your last qualifying game to whether or not your team would compete in the yearly (not to mention prestigious) soccer tournament

you chuckle at the thought because by now, you should already be sleeping and getting some rest even if it’s just seven in the evening

but you’re here <3 out at a park near jungkook’s dorm, sharing hand warmers <3

“yeah. it’s a make or break match.”

“i actually haven’t seen you play before, y’know," jungkook silently admits, looking down on his shoes as he thinks if he's just offended you

“really?” you ask in genuine curiosity, “then how come you interviewed me for your little survey when you haven’t watched me play before?”

oh

tHAT

“i uh, i actually just really wanted to talk to you that day. i-i don’t normally approach people first, but you just looked warm enough for me to reach out first.”

he's babbling before he even knows it, oblivious the growing smile on your face

“then i asked jimin because he kNOWS everything, and it was all in good fate that it turned out you were the soccer captain!! i was excited because i had a legitimate reason to talk to you that day.”

so that’s why

he wanted to talk to you even before his lunchboxes were taken out of the situation!!!

“how about me? why was it me?”

ahem

you're not trying to be funny but you can't help but chuckle, scratching the back of your ear in thought

“i honestly couldn’t tell either, jungkook.”

he almost coughs in shock, masking it off with playing it off for the bite of the chill of the night

“all i know is that something told me it was you,” you timidly add, looking down on your hands. “and i went for it.”

right can he chalk up mad blushing to the night air

he fiddles with the drawstrings of his sweatpants this time, his eye contact with you becoming fidgety

“big game tomorrow,” he repeats and you're just about to tell him that your conversation sounds like it's gonna be repeated

“don’t forget your eyedrops, alright?”

....

was that smooth enough

“eyedrops?”

yeah

uhm

that was... random

“oh right! you gave them back to me.”

“yeah. you should open it tonight, probably. to see if it’s already all-evaporated, y’know? if it is, then let me know tomorrow so i can buy you new ones.”

“highly doubt that they would, but alright, kook.”

you take the little banter to be your cue to walk back to your dorm, about to say goodbye to him when he makes an audible sound of confusion

it confuses you even more when he's trailing behind you

“your dorm’s twenty feet away from where we are, jungkook.”

“y-yeah i know that!! i’m walking you home, silly.”

right!!

hee-hee

he’s keeping his hands to himself even if he BADLY wants to hold your hand or even your forearm but he has to resist that urge rn

but he does intentionally brush shoulders with you and mumble “pothole.” so he could nUDGE you to the side even if there aren’t any to begin with

silence with jungkook now is comfortable as it has been for more than awhile, the walk passing by faster that you almost wish you walked slower

goddamn it he should've said there was a pothole atleast ten more times to make the walk longer

“goodnight, koo.”

“goodnight, y/n.”

there’s obviously no goodnight kiss but he dOES get a squeeze on his bicep

you take your time when you come home — to unwind as much as you could before you stress yourself out tomorrow

your shower routine may have took a little longer this time but it makes you get dressed as quick as you could when your eyes see the origami box you've been putting off from opening, one that jungkook just told you to open, because as far as you knew they were just EYEDROPS!!!

... the supposed bottle of eyedrops that’s too well-packaged and clearly thought-out

an origami box, a carebear heart initial drawstring pouch AND a plain ziplock baggie as if the other two weren’t enough

it’s when you open the box within the ziplock bag that you feel it’s definitely not as light as a bottle of eyedrops would be

there’s a very visible dent weighing down on the pouch (that’s within the origami box) that’s cLEARLY not your eyedrops

you’re actually nervous to the point that you just open unfurl it with your eyes closed, feeling two items in there

the plastic bottle of eyedrops, and definitely the cool surface of what feels like

a bracelet?

it’s a pretty straightforward yet timelessly elegant silver link bracelet, equipped with a couple options for how tight or loose you want to wear it

it hits you all at once and god does it just render you speechless

jungkook has this bracelet too.

you’re quite speechless and in between looking at it up-close to avoiding looking at it at all, trying to calm your breathing by focusing on the eyedrops instead

the said eyedrops you've been so used to seeing that you immediately sense that there's something oFF with the label???

its stuck-on, that's for sure, but something about it is not as seamless and stationary and official as it should be

it's almost as if there's something snuck inside it and-

...

..... there is

it's scotch tape that's just as thin as the actual label of the bottle itself, having to peel the whole label in order to see it in entirety

it's the same double-sided label jungkook worked so hard to peel flawlessly so he could try and replicate it in the same exact design and measurements, having to even take it up to a classmate from stem he once knew that transferred to graphic design

(yeonjun did ask for a science paper in exchange for his replication of the eyedrops slash adhesive label because who fucking kNEW he still had science even when in graphic design, but jungkook thinks it's fair trade so it's worth it)

it's the same exact label jungkook's had for a month and only recently gave it to you a week ago, a truth he's long since known

it's the same exact label that reads —

i love you

— in his handwriting you've come to known by heart, the label in your hand feeling much more heavy than the bracelet in the other

you already know what to do.

.

.

.

it's game day and u are about to launch yourself into orbit if you hear oNE more drum cheer because it just makes you nervous even more

yeah SURE it makes you pumped when it's the actual game itself but not now!!! not now when you're pumping yourself with electrolytes and at the risk of peeing from nervousness and too much hydration

you haven't seen seokjin nor yoongi yet and as much as that lessens the pressure on you, that alsO makes you nervous because they're your emotional support people!!!! where r they

usually you would see them in the front row of the bleachers and neither of them have any snacks because all of their focus would be on you

jin is nOT mr. kim from student affairs when it comes to your games,,, nuh-uh sir,,, he's that guy from the other team that glares so hard it dISTRACTS me from scoring in the perspective of the opposing team

coach's about to whistle like five minutes from now for a final huddle and everyone's getting their final stretches in

you're too busy looking for people that you actually want to be here that you're taken off-guard when one of them grasps at your forearm, a breathless smile one his face

"give them hell out there, alright. you're a champ."

it's jungkook!!!

IT'S JUNGKOOK!!!!@&$&":@:"$

he looks especially handsome today that you just short-circuit immediately

he's wearing a shirt with your team colors on it aND!!!

he ditched his glasses today to wear contacts, not only because he wanted to look a bit more different and special today, but because he's also scared that a ball would be thrown in his direction and injure him with the additional impact of his glasses

his hair's pushed back with his forehead showing instead of his usual hairstyle and god is it making you a little dizzy

he's beaming at you and his eyes immediately wander to your wrist, not expecting the feeling in his gut next

you're not wearing the bracelet.

jungkook feels the sudden urge to cry even when in public but it's when you grip at his forearm tightly that he stays still, squeaking when you realize his line of thought

"can't wear any jewelry on the field. i-i'm wearing your bracelet as an anklet for the meantime, it's underneath my sock."

...

....

...... oh my god

jungkook's never felt this frozen and euphoric at the same time, sputtering over nothing when your face looks like the furthest thing from joking

you're about to excuse yourself suddenly when your eyes finally take notice what's thrown on his shoulder, something about it being so familiar that it throws you off for awhile

"is that my jersey?"

he nods eagerly to your query, proudly unfolding it for you to see your spare soccer jersey with your surname and number right on it, the exact marks being the same from when you tried to use a laundry pen on it

he didn't get it replicated???

"h-how did you get that? where did you get that?"

jungkook thought you'd never ask, the words he never thought he'd say already leaving his lips

"yoongi gave it to me."

you only have a handful of jerseys on-hand and even if you could always request for more, the ones you have at home are a little more sentimental

you gave jin and yoongs one each from the only several ones you had, and you know yoongi would not give up his for jungkook

but now, you do know that he snuck to your closet and took one to give it to jungkook willingly, trusting him enough to give it to you behind your back

kook's sTILL not fully-forgiven but they're getting there sooner or later

wait why is this making you cry

before you know it, you're pushing yourself to jungkook to hug him tightly, the boy being surprised for a second but ultimately reciprocating once it registers

"i love you too."

.

.

.

.

.

this is the last chronological update for stem koo aka lunchbox lovers!! however, this is not the end of them!! with the end of this chronological series, this means that all the future updates don't necessarily have to be linked — they're miscellaneous and don't have to follow a specific layout like this part of their arc.

with that said, feel free to send in asks on what you want to see from the lunchbox lovers (misc. requests, questions, and everything in between) and i'd love to fulfill them because after all, this series was born purely out of your ideas <3 also pls send in ur thoughts and feedback and love because i have da greatest time reading through all of them!! thank you for all the love for da stem koo universe <3

[shotorozu]

Hello, how are you today? Remember to drink water if you haven’t already! 💛

if you are okay with it and feel comfortable writing it. (also no rush at all, I get it’s exams week and stuff) but could I request some fluff head cannons with Hitoshi Shinso and Shoto Todoroki (separately) with an s/o who is sick with like a stomach virus or food poisoning. Them maybe comforting the s/o or something? Idk, you do whatever you feel best.

I’m sick right now and currently feel like trash so some fluff would be nice. Also, just love your writing!! 💞 hope you have a good day/night

their s/o contracted a stomach virus

character(s) : todoroki shouto, shinsou hitoshi (bnha)

legend : [Y/N = your name] gender neutral, quirk not mentioned

headcanon type : fluff, comfort (x reader)

note(s) : ahh i know what that feels like and thats why i avoid eating out alot, since my stomach starts aching really quickly, even if i JUST ate :( anyways, thank you for waiting! the last week of school was really busy for me today, i spent the entire day filming my project 💀 also, theres not that many nuances here, so i hope that’s okay

➽───────────────❥

todoroki shouto

i can’t really say that shouto would know what to do at first, since shouto almost never gets sick

maybe a few times during his childhood, and during that ONE occasion when he was 12, he tried making soba— when he didn’t know how to

besides the point, man stays healthy; in topic condition. it’s important, if you’re training to be a hero.

so, when he finds out that you contracted a stomach virus / food poisoning, he doesn’t exactly know what to do

sure yeah, he could visit you for emotional support— but he wants to help you feel better.

it wasn’t like period cramps (if you get those)— he has heard that heat can help you cope with those, and he could always help with his left side

in actuality, food poisoning / stomach viruses are nowhere near that💀

you were nauseous, practically camping in the bathroom— since whenever you’d try to get up, and do your tasks for the day

you’d feel a sense of dread in your stomach, and you’d bolt back to the bathroom.

really, shouto hates seeing you like that, looking like death knocked on your window that very morning— skin burning to the touch, even though you felt cold

so, what does shouto do? he goes to fuyumi— since she has helped natsuo get over a case of food poisoning on two separate occasions.

she, luckily has all the remedies available, but still recommends that he should take you to a doctor, if you don’t feel any better.

he returns with water, and an electrolyte solution— and helps you take them, even going far as to fetching a straw for you

holds your hair back when you need to puke, if you have short hair— he’ll make sure to remove everything that’s obstructing your way

carries you back to bed, since you can’t walk without being nauseous. but, if you want to stay in the bathroom, he doesn’t mind

he’ll just bring pillows and blankets to the bathroom. an easy fix!

the class notices that shouto’s been in and out throughout the entire day, and they secretly wonder if he’s a part time nurse 💀

shouto disagrees, saying he’s just caring for his sick s/o, and wishes everything for them to be well again (which makes all of them aww)

bonus : bakugou throws a specific broth recipe at shouto, when shouto came to him for a recipe (since you were feeling a bit better, thanks to him)

the blond stating that “if you’re gonna give them broth, make sure you don’t fucking food poison them again. i won’t be responsible if that idiot doesn’t come to school for a month.”

shinsou hitoshi

frowns when he sees that you’re not present at homeroom— let alone when you don’t give him a heads up on your absence.

he doesn’t think too much of it at first, thinking that he’d just visit you during lunch

oh, and speaking of lunch— there was a sudden wave of UA students that contracted food poisoning / stomach viruses, after a substitute cook cooked for yesterday’s lunch

and because of that thought, it suddenly dawned onto him that you might be sick too

when the second period ends, hitoshi excuses himself to the bathroom, and RUNS to the dorms— absolutely worried for you

when he goes to your dorm, his suspicions were proven to be correct.

looking ill is an understatement, you’re half dressed in your uniform, and completely passed out on the floor— skin slick with sweat

“Y/N?” he calls out, absolutely concerned — which is given, considering your state at the moment

“are you sick? what happened?” he nudges you awake, not exactly sure of the severity of your state.

and when you’re awoken from your sleep, you bolt to the bathroom— falling onto the bathroom floor as you throw up

hitoshi stands near the door way, slightly wincing at your gagging— his heart clenches at the sight of your pain

hitoshi, finally deciding to do something, approaches you “it’s okay,” he comforts, his gentle hands brush against your back

and it feels like a while before it finally stops, and he grabs some tissues when you flush the toilet

“on a scale of 1-10, how sick do you feel?”

“12.”

alarmed by your answer, he momentarily leaves to fetch you some water— going as fast as he could

he comes back, and helps you drink water— and he figures that he should help you get into something more comfortable

of course, his thought process is cut off when you start feeling nauseous again— and the idea of brainwashing the pain away comes into his mind

but of course, it doesn’t work that way. because the sickness would come back if he switched off his quirk

after helping you into comfier clothes, this is when he decides to get recovery girl (who has been busy, considering the wave of sick students that were ill)

who, luckily— managed to make some time for you, which he will be grateful for.

will wipe the remains of your throw up off your mouth, the idea of it being gross doesn’t bother him in the slightest

and he’ll clean your mess if you accidentally get some on the floor— yeah. man doesn’t care at all

though he can’t brainwash the pain away, he will brainwash you to sleep, or take the electrolytes prescribed to you if you hate the taste

hitoshi didn’t care that he had aizawa questioning his whereabouts during the second period, since he was doing everything to make you feel better

and he most definitely didn’t mind babying you so,, he’s less than peeved

when you do feel better, he will tease you about how you were relying on him the entire time.

but the insomniac here would do it again in a heartbeat <3