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kithtaehyung · 3 months ago

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minted: two (explicit) | myg

title: minted: two (explicit) pairing: street king!yoongi x street vendor!reader series: one | masterlist rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , action ; haegeum au , gang au summary: after a whirlwind of a detour, you have second and third thoughts about the guy you saved. who even is this man? and what the hell is in that bag? note: holy shit, y’all. thank you so much for the love on this series already! it’s been a minute since we started a new series here, so nerves were firing on all cylinders. but you all showed out and gave me enormous relief and motivation to keep going, so thank you! note 2: as always, this is dedicated to hali @sailoryooons for ur belated bday, nary @joonary for being a cutie pie and letting me adopt the tangerine cart girl idea in general, and luce @minttangerines for ur url and for being a wonderful friend. love you all! warnings: language, violence, weapons (guns), blood/wounds mentions, drugs, alcohol, trauma/pstd, poor reader :(((, but also YES READER???, tension to the max, inner turmoil, mint!yoongi, haegeum!yoongi, tatted!yoongi, his eyebrow is pierced, yoongi visuals in this one areeee… a ha ha, did i mention tension?, tense situations, crass af yoongi lol, reader is also a baddie but who is shocked, slow burnnnn drop date: september 30th, 2024, 9:03pm est word count: 9.8k help me @ god

There’s something to be said about the human gut.

Not for being the source of multiple health aspects, nor the way it’s connected to the brain.

But, other than when violence tears it to shreds, it can be quite the defense mechanism. Just like yours churns and churns with each mechanical click of the elevator shaft.

Who is this person next to you?

Who exactly did you decide to follow upstairs hours ago, killing your daily life to save and join on the run?

You don’t know if you release your hand or if Yoongi lets it fall, but you take this unlinking to create space. As you slide your gaze toward your companion, he merely shifts his weight and finds interest in increasing, beeping numbers.

How can someone’s profile be so troublingly handsome? You’d be able to think more clearly if he wasn’t both attractive and dangerous. Or if you simply weren’t on the verge of collapse.

Frankly, if you didn’t just murder a man you’d pass out as soon as you took too long to blink.

To keep yourself alert—and to hopefully gather some much needed intel—you suddenly question aloud, “Where are we?”

No answer.

Alright.

“That driver called you Agust,” you recap on a second go. “What was that about?”

All Yoongi does is stare at his reflection in opulent, dim mirrored walls. Or whatever else he’s doing besides talking.

Okay. Well.

You can face forward, too.

“Those guys after us,” you try a third time, because who are you to give up now even if he radiates annoyance. “They didn’t look like Crane.”

“Doesn’t mean they weren’t.”

Your neck almost snaps when you turn. “Are you kidding me?”

As you watch Yoongi scorn the ceiling again, you can’t believe he doesn’t agree.

Mm. Does he?

From the flex of his jaw, you have to assume you’re right to some degree. Because it looks like he’s very, very bothered by the people that chased you down.

If those weren’t any of the high-powers but had equal resources and numbers…

What the hell were they? Where did they even come from?

Geez, it’s freezing. Is a drop in temperature the best barrier to you making sense of things? You can’t even appreciate the way Yoongi’s veins protrude with every adjustment he makes to that mysterious duffle bag.

Lies. You absolutely can. But there’s no way in hell you’re ever complimenting that. Or anything about him anymore because he clearly doesn’t want anything to do with you!

Why did he even hold your hand? Was that just a ploy, too?

But that taxi drive…

Yoongi looks down before lightly scuffing his shoe, and both of you fall silent as you finally give up with a huff.

Massively dehydrated. Sore. Still covered in a myriad of unmentionables and now being ignored by the guy you saved.

All you wanna do is go home, and you don’t even know where that is.

How far did you travel? What district is this? You’ve never heard of a grey zone, but they seem fairly peaceful even at night. Neutral enough for you to consider relocating even if it meant sleeping on the street.

That brings up another question. “If we’re in a grey zone, how did you know—”

A ding interrupts your last thought, and you look to see where you ended up.

But the elevator doesn’t say a number. Only letters? What kinda floor did you stop on?

One thing’s for sure, though. Whatever room you end up getting, if there’s only one bed you’re hogging it or taking the…

Floor…

There are many things that have shocked you in your lifetime. Many things just from today that had your head positively and forever reeling.

But when the elevator doors slide open, you can’t even fathom what the fuck you’re dealing with.

And in this second, more than ever, you understand how ludicrously out of your element you really are.

“Holy shit,” you blurt, barely hearing the huff at your side.

Don’t elevators usually open up to hallways? Why are you walking into an entire living space? Is this a real place people choose to sleep in for a night? A whole floor?

Forget a whole floor, it’s a whole other place.

You slowly survey everything, wondering how much this has to be because you have never seen a living space so big. Or pretty. Or anything like this.

The ceilings vault and the furniture looks nothing like you’ve ever seen. Everything looks pristine. Clean. Is that a whole kitchen?

How are there living arrangements this big? This one place is bigger than your entire apartment level back home.

And here you are: speechless, virtually homeless, and dragging your filth onto white marble floors.

Perfect.

“What.”

You turn at the scrape of Yoongi’s voice, wondering why now is when he finally chooses to acknowledge you. Head pounding, you ask outright, “Who… Who even are you? What is this place?”

He levels your stare before walking towards a long couch, dumping the duffle and raking his hair back in minted waves. “There’s a shower in every bedroom. Take your pick.”

…Is that really his only response?

“That’s not what I asked,” you fire back, wondering what the hell his problem is so you can add more out of spite.

“But it’s what you need.”

“Say what now?”

The fucking nerve? Even though you obviously, desperately need one, hearing him mention it makes you wanna re-use the chopsticks in your pocket.

But Yoongi simply waves you off, grabbing a remote and flicking on a television so wide you would struggle to reach both ends.

This is all too much.

“You know what I need? To go home,” you huff out, leaving fire in your determined trek to the elevator. “Have a nice life, Yoongi. Or Agust. Whoever the fuck you are.”

You get to the door and run into a dirt-slicked forearm. “The fuck are you doing?”

“Shouldn’t be that hard to figure out.”

“You serious?”

“Yes, I am. So move.”

Yoongi pauses, jaw working overtime before he steps aside—wait he’s gonna let you go that easily?

…Oh.

That was certainly not what you expected, but what else would you even think? This isn’t one of those stories that ends perfectly after trials and tribulations. Yoongi has proven more than once—in mere hours—that he’s no regular civilian.

But despite that, you blink before freezing at a terrible realization.

No matter how you slice it, you’re much better off with him right now than you are by yourself. Even if he is a secretive criminal with a smoking gun.

He did keep you alive that whole chase.

But there’s the smallest, tiniest chance that you aren’t quite safe with him, either. You don’t even know who this man is anymore—maybe you never did.

So in a quick decision, you skim his side to slap the elevator button, chucking daggers at his brows until he leaves you to wait alone.

Good. You don’t need this. You can find your way back to your city block somehow and live the life you’ve chosen to lead again.

Yes. You can do all of that by yourself. The chase is done.

And so is your story with the man that will never buy your tangerines again.

Grabbing your sleeve, a second fact stings your fingers. A jacket woven in Dragon teal.

Shit. You need to ditch this, too. Either right now, or before you get the hell out of this grey zone because if you don’t, this is the biggest target you could ever have on your back.

No good. No good no good you didn’t plan any of this well at all. Fucking pride blinding you to everything else logical. Is this how your story ends? Because of regret and resistance?

You wait for the sliding doors, about to leave the biggest room you’ll ever see to occupy a box. How poetic.

Your heart pounds as you close your eyes. Yoongi just cut you loose; it’s obvious he doesn’t care so why should you? No going back now. You’ll figure it out. The doors are finally opening.

And someone’s inside?

Wait.

Your brain both whirrs and skids to a halt at the sight of the staff member occupying the elevator. When they give you a look, you find your hand drifting towards your back pocket.

Fucking hell, relax. You should be safe with a staff member, right? They wouldn’t be out to kill you. This is just your adrenaline on its haunches.

However, one foot in the elevator and your senses go haywire.

Because you can’t do this alone. You aren’t nearly as prepared to brave this foreign space as you need to be. With red in your hands and Dragon on your back? Absolutely not.

You bow to the hotel staff before you face forward into the expanse.

And as the doors start to close, you see Yoongi’s stare over his shoulder, storming with emotions you can’t name.

Yeah, you fucked up.

Fuck.

Fuck you actually made a big mistake go back don’t let the elevator close shit—

As you lunge for the door, you get your arm through to block it from closing, turning to the employee inside and seeing their expression change.

What was that about?

“Sorry,” you blurt to their pressed and polished grey uniform. “I forgot something inside.”

“I can wait, Miss,” they immediately offer, to which you politely and cautiously decline.

“No need.” When you step out of the elevator, something happens that you think about hours and hours later. “I’ll come down when I’m ready, thank you.”

You can suddenly breathe again. Why was it so stuffy in there?

The worker bows stiff. “As you wish.”

Without pause, you nod, waiting until the doors close to face someone turned away.

Ugh. It’s like Yoongi knew you weren’t gonna leave. Either that, or he really didn’t give a crap about what you did at all.

Either way, fuck this guy and fuck your indecisive ass!

In full aggravation, you march through the entrance before grating out, “You’re lucky I—”

“Shower.”

“What?”

“The blood,” he calmly breathes. “If you’re gonna hit the streets, wash it out.”

“It isn’t mine.”

“I know.”

Your mouth snaps shut.

Fuck. Yoongi’s right.

“Okay. Well,” you scoff, “Good point but how can I trust you to not do anything.”

When he tilts his head with a bored, unamused, borderline ticked off expression, you almost scoff before he drawls,

“Not interested.”

Oh. He’s…

Oh.

But the taxi and the hand-holding and the the the kiss what the hell? Was your liplock not up to this Dragon’s standards? Why are you questioning something so trivial?

The nerve. You plunge your shoulders in exasperation, hating how you chose to put yourself in another situation with this pain in the ass and he isn’t even… “I swear to—You know what? Good. Not interested, either.”

A lie.

Scrambling, your stomach speaks the next sentence for you, “But there better be food when I come out cus you robbed me of lunch today. So do something about that.”

Fucking hell you do not need his lips to quirk up so deliciously. That one look completely offsets what he just said and annoyingly tickles your core.

Stop. Focus. You cannot entertain any of those thoughts so ignore him and find a bedroom.

Opening the first door you can see, you continue your tirade, “And no more stealing my chopsticks.”

“Closet.”

Of course it’s a closet! Shutting it with force, you let out a high curse. “Who needs a closet here? Whatever, just—figure it out, I’m starving.”

“Yes, princess.”

You flick Yoongi off as you blaze down the hall, not even knowing nor caring if he sees or not.

The next door works, and you shut him out before falling back onto its weight, so fraught with emotion that you can’t even register the appearance of the room.

Today has aged you multiple years. So much has transpired ever since this afternoon that you can’t even think in straight nor curved lines. As soon as you remember something, another thought juts between. Why are you simultaneously thinking about dingy, stained floors while agonizing over Yoongi’s lips? Is there a place other than hell or heaven you can settle on?

As soon as you’re physically and mentally patched, you are out of here.

The plan is simple. Shower, eat, give this man a piece of your manic mind, then go home.

Although… It would be nice to at least know what’s in that duffle. If it’s something worth taking you could finesse a piece of the loot.

Swallowing dry, you push yourself off the door and finally notice a flood of ambient light.

At your side, you come across an expansive bathroom, eyeing the wall-to-wall entrance before taking in the center shower with disdain and awe.

The whole setup is lavish.

Does the water just fall straight from the ceiling and into that large square tub? This looks nothing like your cramped, chipped one back home. There’s even lush plants lining the area and towels already folded nearby for use.

Maybe you did get killed on the run and you’re in some type of dreamworld.

Too bad you aren’t alone.

As you drag tired feet onto heated tile, you search for the shower knobs, realizing you have a whole panel to work with instead.

Uhh.

What.

You quickly find that one button blows water like a hose straight from the top, scaring you so bad you jump. When you hastily try another, something whirrs in the floor that has your brows kissing—

“You good?”

Fuck!

You flinch and hit the wall, groaning when you see Yoongi lazily resting against one side of the bathroom entrance. Both of your voices echo in the extravagant interior.

“You ever knock?”

“No.”

“Shocker.”

He walks up the tiny steps, and you’re more than relieved you’re still wearing his jacket. When he gets closer, you turn and face the panel, “I can figure it out.”

“Move.”

You get slightly displaced as he gets close, resting a hand on the wall while bending to operate the buttons. As you inhale his musk, you respond to his second question instead of his first. “What?”

“Is this fine,” he repeats, checking the settings before turning to the shower area.

Oh. Wow. It’s a lot more than fine.

A circle of rain falls into a beautifully lighted tub, steam wafting through the glow and coating your skin.

You’re so entranced that you are quite literally left speechless. Skirting around your present company, you gaze up, down, silently observing the plants sway with the shower air.

Strangely, this whole bathroom makes everything you’ve seen today believable because of the sheer wonder of it all. It’s almost enough to make you forget what you’ve done.

Almost.

When you pause, you see Yoongi watching your face from beyond the rainfall. And he looks so handsome, even now, not doing a thing.

Is it because he’s clearly roughed up but still so poised? Very unlike you in your banged up, dirty state?

Huffing, you fold your arms a little too harshly—out of jealousy or whatever else, who is to say. “I’m good now,” you proclaim, keeping your walls high. “I can do the rest myself.”

Again with that little slant.

Ignore him ignore him. If Yoongi keeps doing that, you’re really gonna have to brave the outside world instead of dying by smirk. A tub has never been so interesting in your life.

“Suit yourself.”

You look up again.

But he’s already left you alone.

Solely to undress and contemplate what the hell he implied by that.

Why did you walk left today instead of right?

Under scorching rain in the middle of luxury, this is the question you repeat in your head. Watching all the burnt streams of your decision swirl, and swirl, and swirl.

The blood will never wash out.

Does the price of saving a life have to be this high? It must be somewhat divine, being that in order to save, you took. If only there was another way to achieve that end goal. Though there’s no way to do it all over again to be sure.

Staring at four chopsticks on the ground, you try to assure yourself. You need to.

Because at least you succeeded.

But will your price be more damning because of the one you saved?

Rushing water mutes your hearing as it pours onto sore limbs. When you reach for the scrub for a third time, you make sure to really dig, scraping at every. Single. Inch. In a last attempt to cleanse yourself completely.

Knowing that even after the water runs clear, you still see nothing but red.

You chose left today.

If you had chosen right…

Doesn’t matter.

Your palm tingles.

Blood never really washes out.

Holy fuck, you don’t have clothes to change into.

Wrapping yourself in plush material, you hastily pad around freezing floors as you think of a plan.

You can’t just ask for them. How would Yoongi even have any for you? The jacket was more than enough borrowing for today and you’re in a hotel room, not his place.

Thank the universe.

But the matter is pretty urgent. Because you’d rather burn your belongings before putting them on again. Which leaves zero clothing and a thousand issues. Fuck.

Dragging feet to the massive sliding doors, you steel your resolve. Hoist your shields back upright.

Because there’s no choice. You’re just gonna have to dread another conversation with this man. An embarrassing, awkward, unprecedented shit why is he in the bedroom!

You flinch backward as you slam the door closed. Peeking out, you gawk, “What the hell are you—?”

Did Yoongi just pocket a phone?

The duffle rests at his feet.

Wait. Did he stay in here while you showered? Thank god you had the foresight to slide all the doors shut because you definitely spent a lot of your time scrubbing like mad or standing completely still.

No. Yoongi’s hair is wet, so he did shower at some point. And he’s donning a robe, which is precisely what made you slam the door shut.

How can he look like royalty wearing that? The material is quite lush and silken, but still plain. It makes no fucking sense and you wanna rip it right off—

Gathering yourself, you rush out, “Why are you in here?”

“You took too long.”

“So? That doesn’t—”

“In my shower.”

Wait. What? “Oh.”

You slide the door open a little more to check his claim. And now that you finally see the room, you can tell it’s clearly been used already, clothes and bottles scattered about. “You said pick one.”

“I did.” Yoongi turns to drop something onto a dark comforter. “Figured you picked it on purpose.”

“No, I… I didn’t notice the room.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he says after a brief look your way. “Not sharing the bed, though.”

“No need,” you snip. “I’m leaving soon.”

Motherfucker. Yoongi only regards his sheets with a smile that triggers your fight response. And you almost—almost—drop the towel.

Speaking of. How are you even standing in his vicinity with only a single piece of cloth? Are you seriously that exhausted you didn’t even think twice about it?

Suddenly very, very aware of yourself, you squeak, “Umm.” He waits. “I don’t have any clothes.”

“That’s what you get for kicking me out so quick.”

Your jaw hits the floor. “So what, I’m walking around with a towel? Are you out of your mind? If you think I’m some—”

“Fuck, relax,” he slowly groans to the ceiling. “I was gonna say there’s robes in the closet.”

You snap your mouth closed so hard it jangles. “Then just say that!” And you slam the partition closed before fast walking to find them.

Missing the way Yoongi huffs before staring hard at his bedroom door.

On your second arrival into his room, your steps and demeanor are a lot calmer.

Is it because he’s a lot calmer, too? Maybe. Is it also because you smell food, realizing he did exactly what you wanted? Maybe more so.

Noticing a table situated near balcony doors, you blink before regarding Yoongi’s sitting form on one of the chairs outside.

A man lounging while smoking in a robe should not be this alluring. And yet, that’s the only word you can think of to describe him.

Throat drying and aching, you slowly walk over and take a seat, already ravenous enough to dive into broth head first. But you eye Yoongi while retrieving new chopsticks, scowling when all he does is flash teeth through the glass.

Do not engage do not engage do not engage.

Pretending not to care and severely failing, you focus on your—

“You’re really mad about that, huh.”

You snap your head up to see him leaning on the doorway. “I was hungry.”

“There was a cup of them on your table.”

“So why didn’t you grab those instead!”

Yoongi ticks his brows before peering into the night. And he stays like that for awhile, letting a breeze lift his damp locks. “Didn’t expect to see you there,” he admits. “Gotta say you threw me off.”

Nu uh. No more heart skips for today. “I didn’t expect to see you, either,” you too choose to be honest. “Thought I’d never see you again.”

“You were going to.”

As curious brows furrow, you break your utensils apart. “Figured something happened.” Guess you’re being honest about a lot of things. “Or you found another tangerine girl.”

Yoongi holds his look before taking a drag, smoke spiraling around his words, “Why were you even over there? You’re a bit far from Crane.”

You blink at his deflection.

What was that about? What is that look for?

Holding his gaze because you aren’t done challenging him, you calmly answer, “I was shopping.”

“Shopping.”

“Mmhmm.”

Falling silent, he observes a little longer before flicking ash off his cigarette.

And just like that, the conversation dies.

It’s for the best anyways. If Yoongi kept prying, he was gonna get closer to the truth. And you wanna slip around that as much as possible.

But he keeps standing in the doorway, inked arm bending as he breathes in smoke. Donned in a dark robe and topped in teal, he suits Dragon perfectly. Way too perfectly.

Pretending not to care and severely failing, you focus on your noodles instead.

Your noodles.

You’re not hungry anymore.

Something horrid jams up your throat, and you run through your day in flashes. The restaurant. The food. Dragons. The chopsticks. The kill. The chase. Yoongi. The kill the kill the kill.

Dirt and shouts and lifeless lips clog your hearing, and your grip loosens completely as your vision shakes and shakes why couldn’t Yoongi have gotten anything else why does it have to be—

A hand.

A robed arm.

Your new utensils come back into view.

But when you face reality, you don’t see them put them back into your hand. You don’t even see them dug in your noodles and left there.

Instead, you watch as Yoongi plants one palm on the table, slowly lifting strands from the bowl and staring right into your eyes,

“Eat.”

Words. Get them out. Something something communication. Key is communication. What the fuck is happening to your brain?

“I can’t,” you finally croak out. “I’m not.. I’m not hungry.”

“You are.”

“Not anymore.”

Nose scrunching, Yoongi suddenly drops the food and dumps himself on the chair nearest, stretching his leg and revealing a littering of scars. “Didn’t know you were fine with wasting food.”

The icy descent of his tone freezes your bones.

“Thought you of all people would hate that.”

“I—I’m not—It’s not that—”

“Then eat.”

“I literally can’t—”

“Water. Food. If you’re gonna waste all my shit, then leave.”

“What?”

Is he serious? You’re in the midst of post-traumatic shock and he can’t take the hint? You’re so appalled by this man that you can’t even think straight.

“You heard me. Stop acting like you didn’t.”

“Oh, I heard you,” you snap. “Just double-checking what the fuck you said.”

“So you gonna leave or just sit there? If you’re staying I’ll just walk out the roo—”

“Don’t.”

Both of you still at your words.

And you have to force your palms to unfurl on your quivering thighs. One knuckle. Another. Nails leave half-moons in your skin.

Breath haphazard, you finally break. “Just,” you swallow, hard. “I’m not wasting it just give me a sec.”

You don’t want to tell Yoongi why you want him to stay. Despite him being the most infuriating person you’ve ever met, it beats the alternative. And you don’t want the alternative. Truthfully, that’s another reason why you left the elevator earlier.

Yoongi looks pissed as hell.

But he hasn’t moved.

And that’s enough to get you to pick up your chopsticks and try again.

You stare. Stare. Stare. Mustering courage and inhaling all the aromas you indulged in just earlier today.

Fuck, you wanna hurl.

“You’re gonna have to get used to this.”

Your gaze snaps to his, brows and thoughts knitted in disbelief. “What?”

“This feeling.” Yoongi looks out the glass doors, hands resting on the arms of his chair. “The faster you do, the better.”

There’s no way he’s serious. Get used to it? What reason would you ever have for doing that? Caustic, you scoff, “Why, so I don’t waste more of your food?”

You’ve never seen someone laugh in a negative way. But he does before sliding his eyes over. “So when you have to do it again, you don’t lock the fuck up hours later.”

You shoot up from your chair, hellbent on oh fuck you stood up too fast. “You—”

Yoongi just watches as you grab the table for balance, wincing from the pangs in your head. Words grind through your teeth, unable to fully form beyond the light assaulting your brain.

“Like I said.”

Palms press against your forehead before you slump back into your chair.

“It’s better in the long run.”

Technically, he’s right. It’s better in the long run if you get used to this.

But there’s no way you can do it again. Who does he think you are? Yoongi’s got to know that you aren’t planning on making this a daily habit. This isn’t you. You only killed to protect somebody. Killed to save the person telling you to basically get over it.

Fucking hell, this sucks.

Frustration and exhaustion sting the corners of your eyes.

Eat. Build your strength and get the hell out of here. Deal with it deal with it deal with it.

As you regrettably pick up your chopsticks, you don’t care if your tears season your noodles. And quite frankly, you don’t give a shit if Yoongi watches them fall, too.

Because they’re liquid anger. Hot trails blazing down your face, hardening into sticky paths and dried rivers.

“What were you looking for.”

Your eyes slide up to regard him, his arms folded and brows low. Because of course he doesn’t care about your state, either. Of course he’d rather entertain his curiosity. “Nothing you need to know,” you mutter, banning him from knowing another truth.

“Did you find it.”

You swipe at both your eyes.

As spice coats your tongue, Yoongi keeps prying, “Something you needed to go all the way there for?”

“Fuck off,” you dismiss, slurping and swallowing with ease. “I don’t have to answer you.”

“You already are,” he responds, confident. “Now tell me. Is there one in particular you need?”

Wait. You barely gave anything away, so how is Yoongi asking the right questions? There’s no way he actually knows what you were looking for. No way in hell.

This man is more dangerous than you thought.

“Why do you even care,” is all you choose to say, more focused on your food now because above everything else, it’s quite fantastic. It somewhat reminds you of a past home, and you can’t help but escape to those distinct walls. “It’s irrelevant to you.”

“But I have what you want.”

You take another bite before stilling, looking up to see Yoongi propping his head with roughed knuckles. “You’re lying,” you drawl to his smugness, trying to act as if he didn’t just figure you all the way out. Because he didn’t. There’s no way. “And I’m still leaving.”

“If you stay, I’ll show you.”

When you leer over your soup, he simply stares back with no hint of emotion.

And you’re so curious about what he means that you finish your whole bowl.

When you push it forward, you understand exactly what Yoongi did. It worked perfectly, and you have to hand it to him even though he mangled your character minutes beforehand. “Thank you,” you offer some manners. “This was goo—”

The scrape of a chair cuts you off, and your sentence dies in midair as you watch your runaway partner vacate his seat.

Good riddance.

He knows how to stay on your bad side, that’s for damn sure.

But Yoongi simply heads back out to the balcony for another light. So you chalk up his swift exit to vices and not wanting to breathe your air. Or maybe he’s done with his fun and is already writing you off before you head out.

Clearing your bowl from the table, you walk out of the bedroom and bring it to the large kitchen, noting with a scowl that it’s obnoxiously bigger than half your floorplan back home.

Yearning pierces right through your chest.

The elevator is right over there.

You showered, you ate. You can leave as soon as you clean your dish.

Are you way too curious about what Yoongi’s gonna show you? Yes. But is that gonna stop you from getting out of here? No.

Well. This robe is hugging your figure perfectly and feels way too comfortable to just use for an hour or so… Plus, if you ditched it now, Mister Morals will scorn you for wasting that away, too.

How rude of him to assume that about you. Of course you aren’t wasteful. The only times you let things go are when you absolutely have to, like you should have back in that noodle shop instead of braving the back staircase.

Scoffing to no one, you scrub your bowl in the sink, grunting explicatives and stabbing Yoongi with curses until you hear a distinct beep.

Was that the elevator?

You cut the water off with a twist.

Cautiously, you make your way across the kitchen, peeking around the corner to appease your curiosity and spike your anxiety.

A bellhop? Another grey uniform looking to and fro to survey the area. It’s the same person that sent a look of panic your way before you went up to the room.

And your defense mechanism blares.

But before you can hide behind the partition, their eyes lock onto yours. Arm outstretched, the staff is motioning for you to… join them? Why?

You’re the one bunking with a gangster. Why does this person make you even more uncomfortable? This feeling is just like the one you had when you called the elevator the first time. Was your gut warning you then, too?

Maybe it’s because you don’t like the staff thinking they can come in unannounced. Grey zone etiquette or not, you can’t see how this is ever appropriate. In fact, it poses so many safety concerns. How is this okay?

Walking into the foyer, you rest a hand on a robed hip. “Can I help you?”

“I’m the one trying to help you,” they whisper, harsh and with another swipe of their hand. “You have to get out while you can.”

Wait. What do they mean while you can? “And why’s that?”

Sputtering, the bellhop sticks one foot out the elevator while pleading and, for some reason, that pisses you all the way off. “There’s no time to—”

“Get. Your foot. Off my floor.”

Is that fear in their eyes or surprise? “Oh, apologies. I didn’t realize you were… I thought—”

“Thought what?” Your arms fold, weight shifting to your other tired foot. “Speak up.”

Frankly, you don’t know where this newfound energy is coming from. All you know is that there are certain things you still despise and this person is ticking all the boxes.

“I thought you were taken, Miss. I’m here to save you.”

Pausing, you grip your arms, feeling silk gather under your palms.

There’s a lot you tolerate. Many things that a lot of people can’t. But someone assuming you’re the weak one that needs saving? There is no quicker way to lose your interest.

Stepping towards the elevator, you unfurl your arms, robe swaying and billowing around your freshly showered legs.

“Yes, that’s right. Come on, we can take you away.”

Hand on the entrance, you lean forward. “You’re not taking me anywhere,” you command, finger pressing the button at your side. “And you aren’t coming back up here until I say so.”

Slowly, the doors slide shut, your reflection two halves in the metal shine.

Well.

So much for leaving.

You may spend more time here than you thought.

With more thoughts swirling, you spin, heading back into the kitchen to pick up the same bowl you were washing. Hoping you and your gut made the right call.

Yoongi’s a criminal and a madman. But he’s not… the worst. At least, not horrible enough to warrant someone coming up to steal you away.

Besides. Is Yoongi aware that staff can come and go as they please? He seems like the type of guy that would hate that.

Staying vigilant seems to be a little more important now.

It’s soon after, when you’re placing the dish somewhere to dry, that you hear noise in the living room beyond the countertop. Looking up, you see someone much more familiar enter the space.

Hmm. Whatever’s in that duffle must be worth millions for Yoongi to lug it around everywhere.

As he dumps it next to the couch again, you don’t choose to ask about it just yet. Only because you want to ease into it later when you’re both not at each other’s throats. And while you’re not reeling from another strange encounter at the elevator.

So you go with a safer question instead, choosing not mention what just happened. “Is this whole floor… your place?”

Yoongi looks up. “Only when I need it to be.”

Interesting. “Does anyone else know about it—”

“Do you always ask this many questions?”

You blink. “I mean. I don’t get by selling fruit cus I’m quiet.”

“You’re quiet with me.”

“And even then I get you to talk.”

Yoongi frowns slightly before moving away, more towards the sliding door leading out to another outdoor area.

God, this place is obnoxiously huge. There’s still a whole other half you haven’t seen yet.

When you peer out, you watch as he leans against the railing, seeming to look both up at the building and down at the streets below.

Well. If you aren’t leaving anytime soon, may as well offer some sort of peace offering. Maybe the two of you just need to chill the fuck out.

Rummaging through the kitchen, you manage to find some high quality beer in the fridge. On your walk to the sliding glass, you’re reminded of the time you gave him one before when he helped fix your cart.

That was so long ago.

You’re so lost in thought that you barely register Yoongi whipping a hand to his waist when you walk outside. But you catch the metal just in time.

“It’s me!” you quickly alert before regressing back to annoyance, “Really…”

You’ve had way too much to deal with today. You don’t need a bullet in your chest to be another problem.

Especially since his little maneuver showed a bit more skin than you meant to see.

Yoongi eyes you before his shoulders rest, and you stride forward to offer up the cold can in your palm.

But you decide to hesitate while he goes to grab it, and you instead open it to have some.

Ugh. High quality, your ass. This one is way too bitter.

Your companion snorts as you make up an excuse, “I’ve had better.”

“Do you even drink?”

“Well, yeah,” you pout. Needing to prove it, you decide to keep the can. “Lemme try again.”

Somehow, this leads to you sharing the beer with him, tasting the mix of alcohol and smoke even after he tosses another cigarette off the ledge.

It’s not quite enough to forget, but it’s certainly helping. Observing the clouds so close and the city so far beneath your toes is extremely calming. It’s almost like you’re flying.

“It’s different here,” you mention out of the blue.

“This sector?”

“This high up.” Breathing in altitude, you sigh. “I’ve never been higher than my fourth story. It’s nice.”

“It’s usually silent, too.”

Your eyes slightly stab. “Whatever. You like having me around and just won’t admit it.” At this, Yoongi avoids direct contact. “Mmhmm. Don’t even try to hide it.”

“You’re useful to me.” You freeze. “That’s why you’re here.”

You shake your head. For someone deeming you useful, Yoongi’s pretty nonchalant about you dipping. Taking a tangy sip, you clarify, “But you don’t care if I leave? If someone comes to take me?”

He takes the offered can. “Mm.”

That answers that.

You should probably still tell him about what happened, though. His reaction could give more away than his words.

Instead, you drink in the night with your eyes. Knowing that you should know better about the company present.

The more you converse with Yoongi, the more you pick up. And one of those sad facts is that he doesn’t give a shit about anything you do or don’t do. Because all he really cares about is what he needs.

You can’t do anything to change him. Fix him. Whatever exists in fairytales. So you decide to take the night in stride. Not give a shit about him, either, per se.

Your curiosity gets the better of you now. Not just about what he’s gonna show you, but about that duffle. You quite literally don’t have anything to lose anymore, so may as well go for the question you’ve been wanting to ask all day.

“I was gonna ask for a cut of that,” you divulge with a head-tilt to the bag. “But figured you won’t even show me.”

“Why not?”

“Uhh.” You didn’t expect this. “You don’t like questions? You’re always secretive?”

“Never talk to the streets, princess. They’ll snitch on everything you say.”

“That’s deep,” you admit, taking a once full beer in your palm. “But I’m no snitch.”

“I know.”

Your look carries a slight pang.

“Come here.” Both of you walk inside as he plays with his lighter. When you round the couch, Yoongi dumps the bag right onto the cushions. “If you wanna see what’s in here, do it.”

You stare before slowly walking forward and kneeling to unzip the bag. As your slide reveals the contents, you’re nervous about what you’ll see.

But when it’s open, you freeze.

It’s all…chil-don? Tons of money wrapped in sleek stacks with edges so… Crisp. New.

Wait.

These patterns.

These are il-don?

Holy fucking shit there’s no way these are real. This is currency seven generations old. The first ever of the established system. Worth more than anything in current circulation, especially in their pristine state. Forget being worth millions, these are next to priceless.

You’ve never seen them like this.

“They’re some of the last in mint condition.”

The shock value is so high you forgot you were alone. Slowly turning, your breath catches as you ask, “How did you know where to find these?”

“Like I said,” he drones. “Streets talk.”

You look at the bills before glancing back up. “Can I…?”

Yoongi cocks a brow before angling his mouth. “Touch them? Do what you want, doll.”

You blink at the name this time. Because him saying that with a fresh cig in his lips is making your stomach flutter.

Picking up a fresh stack, you inspect the ancient pattern inlay with eyes wide, admiring how paper so old can have such detailed engravings. “These can’t be real.”

“They are.” He shifts. “And most people never see one in their lifetime.”

You put the money back on the pile inside. Yes, these have got to be worth a fortune. But there’s nothing else in the bag? No drugs, no lethal substances, anything? “Wait, so. This is it?”

Yoongi fully laughs before flicking his lighter again. “You want something else?”

“No, I—” You back away. “There’s really nothing else in there?”

Coolly, he lights up before taking the initial drag. “Nah.”

Smoke spirals around you. “I dunno what I expected but it wasn’t that.”

Yoongi lets a wisp leave his mouth. You know it’s getting in your robe, but caring about the little things has now jumped out the window. “Whatever’s in that bag can feed half the city.”

“What?” As you look, he walks over to what looks like a small section of a bar. “Is that why you stole it?”

“Stole it?” Yoongi grins and shakes his head. “Sure. That’s why we stole it.”

“We? Leave me out of this.”

“Too late.”

“I’m serious.”

“So am I.”

You step forward in anger, but you only get a sound out before Yoongi straightens, aura blazing,

“I—”

“Say I do leave you out of it. Nothing happened tonight, according to me.” He discards his fresh light in an ashtray, watching it die before sliding his gaze your way. “Doesn’t mean whoever we just fought will suddenly leave you alone.”

Shit. He has a point. You ran for so long and fought plenty of those guys.

Is this what he meant? Getting used to that feeling? Maybe your consequence is joining the cycle of the damned, forced to kill in order to protect. Both others and now yourself.

“But I’m… Just a nobody. A civilian, I…”

Yoongi walks until he’s in front of you, hand cupping your chin and voice whispering mortifying allegations in your ear,

“You took a body for a Dragon, love. You’re not a civilian anymore.”

Your arms shove him backward without pause, face distraught as you watch his smirk bounce with his shoulders. His cackle echoes mad through the room, pinging the floors and piercing through your robe.

Truthfully, it doesn’t even feel like you’re wearing one. So naked and exposed in the open for this man to see. “You’re despicable.”

“That right?” His mouth sets as his lids lower. “And what about the one that killed and kept running?”

What.

“There was a police car at the restaurant,” Yoongi continues, a reminder so sharp it slices clean. “Yet you didn’t turn yourself in.”

Your feet sink into the rug beneath. “That’s not…”

With measured steps, he stalks forward, a harbinger of horrific realizations that you don’t want to hear, “You didn’t have to keep running. Didn’t have to get in that taxi.”

Stepping back, you find the room so stuffy it’s hard to move. “You—”

“Could’ve taken another train.”

“Stop.”

“Could’ve stayed in that elevator.”

What the fuck is happening right now?

Yoongi’s close. Very much too close, and the energy he radiates sets your instincts ablaze.

This is the man you’ve been pining over this whole time? If you ever get back home, you have got to remind yourself to avoid him at all costs. There’s nothing good for you if you stay. Danger surrounds every inch of him, and there’s no telling when you’ll take collateral damage.

“But you didn’t,” he delivers the final blow. “And you’re still here.”

Lifting your chin, Yoongi grins slow when you yank away.

“I should’ve never saved you.” Gaze finally locked, you growl from within, letting a monster loose,

“I should’ve left you for dead.”

Wait.

Stop.

This isn’t you. This isn’t who you are. You’re a helper. A healer. Those words came out so strange that you’re questioning how they left your mouth so freely.

Did you really mean that? Or was this some feeble attempt to hurt him?

Yoongi doesn’t seem phased. But you clearly don’t know him so it’s not like—

Something heavy and dark as fuck is placed in your hand, and you snap your eyes to his in utmost disbelief.

“Go ahead then.”

Oh, this man is psychotic.

“Be my guest.”

No fucking way you’re gonna do it. “Stop—”

“If you regret it, why waste time—”

“Seriously, I’m not gonna—”

Yoongi forces your fingers flush against metal as he holds the gun to his forehead, both eyes piercing right into yours with no hesitation whatsoever.

And it is frightening.

All anger from before flees as fear and intensity rush into its place. Your brain fizzles and cracks as you try to wrestle out of his grip, and you feel burning at the corners of your eyes. “Stop!”

“Why.”

“I’m not gonna shoot you, the fuck!”

“You sure?”

“Yes!”

Mercifully, he lets go, pistol thrown as you’re tugged forward with a—

“What’s stopping you,” he grounds out, formidable presence all-consuming. “Tell me.”

You’re breathing so hard it hurts. “You”—a shaky heave—“You are out of your fucking mind.”

When you struggle from his grip, Yoongi pulls you even closer. Reacting in a rush, you propel your knee up to wrap around his side and twist.

But he proves just as quick, gripping the bare skin of your leg as you shove him down against the sofa. Grunting, you both curve with the furniture, Yoongi locked onto your knitted, conflicted brows.

“You regret saving my life,” he simply repeats to your frustration. “I gave you the chance to fix that.”

“Shut up—”

“But your will is weak.”

“I swear to—”

“Guess I was wrong.”

Who the hell does he think he is? This guy—Yoongi, Agust, whoever the fuck—has no right to play with you so casually.

But something else is swirling inside your ribs. Because through his cutthroat words and actions, this man is somehow stirring the deepest waters of your soul. Ripples rumble and stretch into waves, tugging your toes in undercurrents of obsidian. Dark. Primal. Hazardous. All you.

Is it from being subjected to such a heavy dose of his power?

Or is it because—even if just for a moment—he’s handing all that power to you?

Quite literally, you’re the one on top.

And Yoongi holds your gaze, unfazed by the way your robe completely spread open during your tumble. Or the fact that you have nothing beneath that silk.

He could easily take over. From the feel of his build beneath your hands and between your legs, you know he can.

But he’s not. There’s no hesitation. He’s legitimately giving you the choice and reveals no ounce of remorse.

This revelation courses through your veins, pumping a new kind of life into your palms. You have a shot at a criminal with a bag of il-don waiting to be snatched. And you know you won’t take it.

And that alone alters the chemistry of your brain.

With more fear of yourself than anything else, you shake out, “If I’m killing you, it’s gonna be entirely my choice.”

He’s laughing? You’re instigating a threat and he’s enjoying it? God, you are teetering on the brink of madness and another emotion that won’t dare be acknowledged.

Tugging Yoongi up a notch, you proclaim to the glint of his eyes,

“And when I do, you’ll die exactly how I want.”

Yoongi’s lips slowly, dreadfully spread, teeth shining in the dim lamp lights that sharpen half his features. When he speaks, you shiver. Because it’s a mix of pride and fear, sprinkled with a hint of alarm,

“That’s my girl.”

The room quiets, your bodies locked in a way that you’ll remember years from now. Breaths. Your bare chest hovering inches above his. If there were bystanders, they would no doubt get the wrong idea. Because if things were different, and if this man underneath you wasn’t who he was, you’d entertain another type of ferality and not stop until morning.

To be fair. That same dark part of you would still do it.

But this is about the righteous part of who you are. The one that abides by the rules. The one that fights to keep days boring, uneventful, the same.

So you quell that monster pacing in your core.

One more exhale leaves your lips before you let him drop, sliding off his silken, tone form to quietly readjust your robe. Turning away, you focus on the night skies, wondering if the people back home are sound asleep as you should be.

“My will may seem weak. But I don’t care what you think of me.”

Sound is crisp again as Yoongi rises to his feet. Around you, the air starts to lighten, cold slipping delicately into your skin.

Slowly tying the wrap at your waist, your words float to the ground, “Because I know who I am. And no one can take that from me, not even you.”

His presence fills the space at your back. But it’s muted. Less intimidating. Or maybe you’re just at your limit because you admit a little more than you intend,

“This world has already tried enough.”

Both of you come to another standstill, two black robes staining a room full of white. Even time itself gives you space, slowing and circling until you’re ready for it to flow straight again.

As a cloud shadows the light of the moon, you feel knuckles caress your neck. And Yoongi’s never sounded so calm as he starts, “They’ll come after you.”

You slightly turn.

“You still want to go back?”

A pause. A nod.

His knuckles continue to glide along your neck, slipping down your back before traveling the swoop of your shoulder. Everything in your body thrums, silently quaking because you have no idea where this is coming from and you can’t say you hate it.

Quite the opposite. And that scares you more.

“If you do, you’re dead to me.”

Of course. You’ve seen and know too much. There’s no reason for him to show up to your street now, especially if tangerines are all he’s looking for. He can always find them anywhere else.

But, for some reason, this still stings. In a way that irks even your reasonable side. Is it because of his touch? No. That’s only making you nervous from the fact that you probably aren’t… as experienced as he is. The uneasiness is wholly from your own limitations.

“I’ll survive without you,” you whisper resolute, chest squeezing when he replies,

“I know.”

The same fingers get bolder, tracing down your arm before sliding along the wrap at your hip.

And you freeze.

Because the tension is palpable. The power is intoxicating. It’s a new type of anticipation and you are fighting yourself to not give in. Don’t let everything get to your head. Don’t let anyone in again. Don’t stray onto a path you can’t quite navigate.

But fuck, you kinda want to.

Rocks slide against exposed skin when he decides to speak again. And it makes you wish the two of you were extraordinarily normal. Or that you at least knew what the fuck to do here because the attraction you feel is not as one-sided as you presumed.

“What made you stay.”

A breath you didn’t know you were holding huffs out, and you swallow with difficulty. “I just…”

Get it together. Keep up your guard. It’s proving so hard, especially when his touches spark fires along your limbs. But you have to.

And therein comes another lie. “I wanted to know what you stole.” Gulping down the truth, you harden your resolve. “That’s it.”

With more restraint that you want, Yoongi bunches silk at your pelvis, hitching your robe and your breath all at once. When his other hand slowly holds your neck in place, you can’t help but flinch, and his low hum pours lava straight down your chest,

“What a shame.”

Oh. Is this how it ends? Did your gut get it all wrong?

He could end your life with a flick of his wrist. You know far too much. You’re not useful anymore.

“Someone will take you back tomorrow,” Yoongi murmurs, proving every single theory wrong. “After that, you’re on your own.”

And just like that, he releases you to stand alone.

Oh. You’re going home.

Good.

This is good, right?

Your heart beats overtime, almost drowning out your entire thought process. The thumps and pulses seem to cut every string of consciousness short.

What was that? What was any of that?

Never mind. Nothing happened and you can keep it that way, for the better. Yoongi is risk draped in beauty, and once you’re back home you can cut ties with anyone like him for good. You saved him; he spared you. It’s over.

…But do you want it to be?

Yes.

Of course you do.

Clouds let moonlight shine again.

When you arrive at an answer, you turn to find that Yoongi’s already gone, duffle and all shut inside his room with a muted click.

A flip switches as you let exhaustion take over completely, falling onto cushions that still hold his scent. Inhaling, you drift into darkness, wondering how your final decision will affect the rest of your days.

Whether awake or asleep, nightmares are real.

Only this time, you aren’t quite sure if the blood and guts you’re seeing are yours or someone else’s. Can’t discern the limb on the ground from the limb on your torso. Screams echo and ping from all directions, a cacophony of death that has you scratching at mania to stay sane.

Murderer. Murderer. A murderer that regrets who she saved. No, wait, that’s not true. You’d still do it again.

And you watch the same swing over and over. The same arc of finality. Those lifeless eyes. Closer. Closer. Sharper. Judging.

You were wrong. Were you wrong? Running does nothing and doesn’t provide an answer. The ground under your toes gives out.

How far are you straying? How low are you sinking? If you told your neighbors who you killed for, would they be upset or betrayed?

They’d hate you. Their fingers aim straight. Their tongues fire bullets.

They’ll hate you. Hate you. Hate you hate you hate you—

A room bursts into view as you jolt awake. Sounds snap silent, the hum of the air all you can hear as you rub your eyes.

So much for sleeping. There’s no way you’ll be able to now.

Focus on something else. Anything else. The past cannot be undone, so live with the choices you made and deal with the faces that haunt your dreams.

Staring into the dark, shapes and sharp edges slowly form, your vision sharpening with every passing second. Tiny pops and creaks tickle your eardrums, and Yoongi’s scent still lingers with your own.

You don’t want to focus on him, but it’s better than what forced you awake.

A lot happened tonight. But also, nothing at all. Something is keeping you both together, tightening and squeezing the strings in your chest. But you don’t know if that’s from the adrenaline of today’s events, or from the pure shock of your unexpected reunion.

There’s something else you haven’t considered until now. Despite his unorthodox and hellish methods, Yoongi did keep your head on straight. You showered. You ate. You drank. You inhaled fresh air.

Your compass righted itself when you didn’t blow his brains out.

The nothingness was all to your advantage. Was that all calculated, too?

One part of you—the bright side of you—knows that it doesn’t matter. No matter how helpful he was tonight, distance is crucial. Stay away from people like him. They’re all too cunning to be kept close.

But if leaping that crevasse allows you to keep your mind off everything else? If you need to stop the bleeding, why not reach for a cure?

Your exhale shakes as your shoulders fall forward, self-deprecation destroying your brain because what the fuck are you thinking? This is nonsense. Madness.

Maybe you’ve just been insane from the very start.

Your breath quickens at the possibilities. The potential outcomes of what you’re about to do.

This is the most solid decision you’ve made all night.

As your toes travel across plush, trek over marble, and arrive at their destination, the rest of your body quietly, nervously follows.

Raising your hand, you listen for movement. When you find none, you softly knock and wait for what seems like an eternity.

For nothing.

All that worry for naught. Yoongi’s most likely fast asleep and not dreaming at all.

Good. This is your sign to let it go completely. In the morning, you’re going back home. The nightmares will consume you and you’ll wake up everyday to brave the streets. Assassins will be on the hunt for revenge. You won’t be saved by the boy in teal.

What a shame, indeed.

As you step to leave, you hear the door slowly swing.

And Yoongi emerges from behind, minted hair mussed over lowered lids and robe slipping down a tatted shoulder.

Fuck everything.

“I don’t regret what I did and I’d do it all again,” you admit with finality. To him, to yourself, to the ones you’ll disappoint back home. “And I refuse to get used to this feeling because it reminds me I’m still a good person.”

Yoongi’s eyes don’t change as he stares.

“But,” you exhale with a shake. “Just for tonight…”

This is it.

The brink of no return.

Your soul dips into the dark.

“Please make me fucking forget.”

—

⟶ what do we feel! | 🥢 join the taglist 🥢 | masterlist

a/n: once again, i cannot thank y'all enough for being patient and understanding as i go through life while working on this and all the other writing projects we have going on! it means the world, and even though there were some not-so-fun asks to get, the supporting and wonderful ones are what i will continue to focus on! so if you've ever left something sweet, thought provoking, encouraging, etc - thank you from the bottom of my heart! you're what keeps this writer going. a/n 2: if there's something you liked about this or a line/scene/whatever thing you enjoyed, feel free to let me know! feedback is never expected, but always appreciated. if the interest level is high, that adds motivation like no other. thank you all for reading! ++ feedback box: ⇥ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated! ⇥ for the ones that are too shy to reblog with a review, comment on this, or send a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think! ⇥ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. it’s literally just a comment dropbox :D feedback can be as short/sweet or as long as you’d like! ⇥ here! ++ more links: ⇥ masterlist ⇥ minted masterlist

#PART TWO IS HEREEE #bts fic #bts imagines #bts reactions #yoongi fic #yoongi x you #yoongi x reader #yoongi angst #yoongi fluff #yoongi smut #bts smut #bts fanfic #*latest #ryenwrites #minted #*ryenfictalk #tw: violence #tw: blood #tw: murder

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gnomewithalaptop · 1 year ago

Text

Transcendence AU Dash Simulator GO!!!

31 notes

🌟 lesbianstellaconifer Follow

okay but actually block me if you ship mizcor -- 'hurr durr but we age stella up' -- SHUT UPPP she's literally a minor and alcor's canonically over a million years old so how about you stop being a freak

🎩 woodsmans-left-nipple Follow

Babe I hate to break this to you but Mizcor's literally one of the most famous relationships in all of post-transcendental literature

🌟 lesbianstellaconifer Follow

I could not have more obviously been talking about Mizar the Magnificent but you know what? Yeah classic Mizcor supporters can fuck off too actually.

Everybody likes to whip out Twin Souls like some kind of gotcha but have you even actually read it??? Like it's literally supporting demon worship and pedophilia -- both of which are EXTREMELY ILLEGAL btw. So yeah if I see any of my followers reblogging that shit I'm reporting you to the Occult Defense Agency idc if we're mutuals

🐟 demonologyturnedmegay Follow

*looks at my Alcorian Literature PhD* guess we better stock up on prison shivs buddy

🍃 haveyouseenmylibrary Follow

okay I'm sorry but

and Mizar the Magnificent isn't????

5k notes

📷 nature-pics-daily

Los Angeles 🏝️

#sunken city of los angeles #new california #travel #ocean #photography #lmao i almost got eaten by a kelpie trying to take this pic pls reblog it

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🧁 definitely-mizar Follow

Hey guys! Just wanted to let you know that The Scepter of Vanquished Souls, the newest book in the Wanderlust Trilogy, is now available for pre order on Glamazon!

Purchasers of the hard-cover edition will also receive never-before-seen content, including a deleted scene between Princess Samia and the Shadow King!

🤷‍♂️ not-not-ian-beale Follow

Boosting because I honestly cannot recommend this book enough. Truly one of Mira's best (and I'm not just saying that because she married me!)

25k notes

⚠️ alv Follow

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

You are the 6 billionth user to log into Jumblr today!! This means you are eligible to win a FREE WACBOOK PRO!!!! Click here to claim your prize and win BIG BIG REWARDS!!

#twin souls #mizar #alcor #mizcor #twin souls: reawakened #twin souls: breaking circles #twin souls: newest moon #twinner #twincon3015 #not a scam

Based on your likes!

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🌞 azarath-metrion-zinthirst Follow

So. I had a day.

📖 stanley-pines-memorial-library Follow

Okay, but consider

🌞 azarath-metrion-zinthirst Follow

I don't remember my older brother's wedding

📖 stanley-pines-memorial-library Follow

A small price to pay for no middle school trauma

🐧 selkiebael Follow

Okay so I just read the url and--

Asfdksfjk go off you funky lil intern

📖 stanley-pines-memorial-library Follow

I'm actually the senior librarian. But thanks!

🐈 alcorphabetical Follow

Posts that have 10k notes. To me

15k notes

🔮 demonoftheday Follow

Today's demon of the day is Nxlar the Antithetical! Responsible for the Florida Springs Massacre of 3007, the body count for this purveyor of madness is estimated to be over 400 (source).

🐸 that-one-half-elf-bitch

I could fix her

41 notes

🍑 lookingformygnomequeen Follow

literally screaming crying throwing up rn I've turned off 'Based on your likes' like eight times @staff can't you just get rid of him already

2.5k notes

🎤 rosaslittleredboots Follow

#i accidentally set my alchemy textbook on fire today and i don't even care AAAAAA this is going to be amazing #northwest mansion mystery #pacifica northwest #rosa darling #im about to be so insufferable about this just you wait

616 notes

👹 sexiestdemon3015bracket Follow

🐸 that-one-half-elf-bitch

Nxlar SWEEEEEP!!!

#if you love me at all you'll vote for my lady love #LISTEN i could bring her to the light i nkow i could

37 notes

👻 sweetthingsaremadeofdeeznuts

Lmao so Nxlar the Antithetical totally turned my apartment complex into a pile of sentient sludge yesterday. I'm fine -- I was at work when it all went down, but uh... yeah, my situation obviously just became super not-great. I hate to ask, but I don't get paid til the 15th, so if some of y'all could float me some cash just so I can get a motel room for a couple nights, I'll fr owe you a life debt

Goal: 0/250

FundFriend

LenMo

#fuck demons fr #like seriously what'd i ever do to them 😭😭😭 #mutual aid #pls boost #don't tag as donation

17 notes

🏳️‍⚧️ gliesssse Follow

Important PSA

So idk if y'all have been reading the news lately, but the alcor virus has been making the rounds on the interwebs again. I feel like I shouldn't have to say this but PLEASE don't click any random links rn, ESPECIALLY if they're tagged with twin souls.

I know we twinners love to joke about it, but the alcor virus is legitimately dangerous and has been known to seriously ruin people's lives. Idk. Just like be smart and practice basic caution I guess? Jumblr's pretty much dead these days, so he might skip over us, but it's always better to be safe than sorry

⚠️ alv Follow

This is a good point! It is always better to be safe than sorry! That's why if you're smart, you'll click here for a list of ways to virus-proof your computer. Stay safe out there everybody!

Based on your likes!

4k notes

🌲 discogirl99 Follow

Anyone else just randomly crave connective tissue sometimes

🧁 sparkle-glitter-sideblog

no actually i think that might just be a you thing

#also i heard screaming on the other line when i called you earlier there better not be a mess when i get home #beloved demon brother tag

2 notes

👑 sameeya

Okay guys I might be crazy but what if the Shadow King was actually telling the truth when he said Princess Samia's brother is still alive??? Like, if you think about it, there's a tonnnn of foreshadowing in Crown of Ghosts and the author tweeted that there was gonna be a surprise twist in the new book sooo 👀👀

#i've connected the dots -- YOU DIDN'T CONNECT SHIT -- i've connected them #wanderlust trilogy #mira ramachandran #crown of ghosts #scepter of vanquished souls #princess samia #samia of cleves #shadow king #ahmed of cleves #bookblr

25 notes

🪨 professionalnatural-deactivated30141227

Reminder that you are beautiful exactly as you are and there are thousands who would sell their souls to imitate what you do naturally <3

👠 mizarsfrillypetticoat Follow

I actually really needed this today 💗

🦇 plsbytemevladdyzaddy Follow

Yo quit reblogging this op is a blatant human supremacist

🪨 professionalnatural-deactivated30141227

And? No one cares lmao

⚠️ alv Follow

Enjoy deactivation. Lmao.

🪓 wenda-was-a-lesbian-confirmed Follow

🕵🏻‍♂️ alcor-in-the-tardis Follow

#I sent screenshots of that one centaur post to her boss too #give you two guesses what species his wife is (tags by @alv)

Holy shit. Am I actually rooting for the alcor virus rn?

🍄 warioxreader Follow

maybe the real virus was the friends we made along the way <3

⚠️ alv Follow

No, the real virus is me. Don't take credit for my accomplishments.

🐲 retiredbus Follow

Heritage post

62k notes

🐔 old-friends-senior-griffin-sanctuary Follow

I just want to get dicked down again =/

#THIS IS NOT ME TAKING A STANCE ON SHIPPING DISCOURSE I LITERALLY DON'T CARE #best hits tag #i'm basing this entirely off the vibes i got from 2015/2016 tumblr #i just feel like the mizar the magnificent fanbase would be highkey insufferable lmao (to the dismay of all creators involved)#mizar the magnificent #transcendence au #alcor the dreambender #ian beale #mira ramachandran #rosa darling #alcor virus #al-v #twin souls #unreality #tumblr dashboard simulator #tumblr dash simulator

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liloinkoink · 1 year ago

Text

hey! i'm opening commissions for writing and editing!

if you don't recognize my URL, i'm driflew and skelew on ao3. my most popular current work is the Lamplight AU on skelew, which is the account i’ve been using the most recently, but i've got quite a few works around. take a look at those links for examples of my work and the tone/content i'm best at!

💀 slots:

i've not done this before and am testing it out, so to start i'm only going to have three writing comm slots. if all goes well, i'll probably open them again once i finish, but i don't have a timeframe for how long this will take

i'll also do three editing slots, but those might refresh sooner

💀 price:

writing comms, the rate i'm thinking is 5 cents a word.

(that's $5 for 100 words, $25 for 500 words, and $50 for 1000 words)

editing comms, the rate i'm thinking is $5 for every 1000 words read

💀 what i'll write:

for fandoms, i'm definitely open to write for third life, one piece, and magnus archives. i'd be willing to hear out other fandoms i'm familiar with, like blue exorcist or certain webcomics, but might refuse if i'm not as familiar

for content, you can assume i'm willing to write something similar in content or tone to anything i've already posted. i'll write fluff, angst, character death, and i'd be willing to talk about some amounts of horror / gore, certain romance/ships

if you have questions about specifics about what i'll write, just ask!

💀 what i won't write:

poetry, nsfw (i just don't have the skillset for it), super heavy gore, ships i'm not into (as a general rule i'm not interested in incest or adult/minor)

....pretty sure this wont come up but im not writing any academic essays for you people either

i also reserve the right to just say no because i don't want to

if you have questions about specifics about what i won't write, just ask!

💀 how this works (writing):

DM me here at @liloinkoink or over at @asexualzoro to let me know what you’re thinking. we can talk out the prompt you want written and figure out a word count range of the lowest and highest word count you want, and i’ll aim to fulfill your prompt within those numbers

💀 how this works (editing):

what i'm offering is help with both copy editing and content editing.

DM me here at @liloinkoink or over at @asexualzoro with a summary of the piece you want edited and what specifically you want help with, and i'll do my best to help! if you want content editing, i'll be sure to help with as much advice as i can

you can assume the rules about what i will and won't edit are roughly the same as what i will and won't write

💀 payment:

payment'll be handled through paypal invoice

i won't ask you to pay me anything until the piece is done. i won't give you the piece until you've paid me

if you want to be nice and throw me a bone, my kofi is driflew

💀 AVAILABLE SLOTS:

writing: open, 2/3 available!

editing: open, 3/3 available!

thanks for reading all this! ♥️

#says words #writing commissions #editing commissions #lew commissions #my poll didn’t finish but i got a few interested votes so. there you go #top hits

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extant-exhaustion · 11 months ago

Note

Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "extant-exhaustion "?

Well, first of all, thank you so much for your patience! I know it took me seven weeks to reply to this Ask! I agonized over my list (also, the holidays happened, which kept me busy). But I finally narrowed it down, so here we go, in no particular order:

My Top 10 Favorite Fanfics

died in my dreams by MTrash Haikyuu!! | T+ | 10k | Ushijima/Tendou | futuristic/cyberpunk AU, opposites attract, reluctant work partners to friends to lovers | fantastic characterization, really cool conceptually, a story about trauma and healing and finding your person

Come and get lost with us by boxofwonder Haikyuu!! | M | 150k | Hinata/Kageyama, Daichi/Sugawara | action/adventure, Medieval AU(?) | unlike anything I've ever read before or since; a really masterful integration of an enormous cast and a plot that unravels with absolutely zero fluff or filler

A Second Chance To Say by KazimaKuwabara/@kazimakuwabara Yu Yu Hakusho | M | 92k | Yusuke/Kuwabara, Youko Kurama/Kuronue | action/adventure, hurt/comfort | ft. Kuronue's eternal sass and unwavering friendship, the slow burn of reincarnated already-in-love KuwaMeshi (because Kuwabara doesn't remember it), somewhat menacing levels of intrigue, and Hiei finally winning MVP of emotions on Team Urameshi

Don't Blink or You'll Miss It (Lift Up Your Head) by umisabaku/@umisabaku Kuroko no Basuke | M | 81k | Kagami/Kuroko, Kasamatsu/Kise, Midorima/Takao, Himuro/Murasakibara, Aomine/Momoi | super powers | This story and its accompanying series are so cool and so unique. The characterization is amazing and the worldbuilding is stellar.

neither fish, flesh, nor foam by twoif interactive on Twine Kuroko no Basuke | Kagami/Kuroko | angst, Little Mermaid–esque, interactive storytelling | incredible, but also devastating; a story about how sometimes our doubts can destroy not only ourselves but the good things we build; one of the coolest things I've ever interacted with as a story, a true tour de force

Transient Shadow, True Light by seafoamist/@seafoamist Kuroko no Basuke | M | 322k, WIP | Kagami/Kuroko | angst, hurt/comfort, time travel, historical (Edo Period) | If you talk to me about this story, I will go absolutely feral, because it is my current obsession and the only WIP that is on this list. I'm straight-up insane about its quality and depth. I can't even put this story into words. It knocks the wind out of me.

And lastly, my URL doesn't actually have a story behind it! It's basically just my life, haha. “Extant” is an adjective meaning “ongoing/still in existence” and “exhaustion” is pretty obvious. Essentially, I like alliteration and thought it sounded better than "tired 100% of the time."

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vaspider · 3 months ago

Text

Every once in a while, one of the Piles Of Exaggerations And Lies "callout" posts about how one of Tumblr's Two Minutes Of Hate targeted users - yeah, me, but others as well, and in this case it was another one of the users that people feel free to post deeply disturbing murder fantasies about - bubbles across my dash like a wet fart, and after spending like 5 minutes to block a lot of people, bc who needs 'callout post' energy in their life, I'm kinda like...

... you know, if you look through the notes on this for literally like 30 seconds, you can see every moral panic that Tumblr has gone through in its existence. It's like taking a core sample from a tree. Whoever the post is talking about will somehow have been, Gump-like, at every Devil's Sacrament that Tumblr has ever named. Somehow whoever it is perfectly holds the exact Wrong Opinion on every single event that's ever happened.

And like, it goes beyond that. They have to assure themselves that all the people they hate are also secretly best friends, too. There are people that certain circles of Tumblr is certain I'm friends with that I've never spoken to, or may have spoken to once directly. But because we are all Hated, we're all Best Friends.

And you'd think that after a while, anyone with a speck of thoughtfulness would ask themselves, "Hey, do you think maybe this isn't, like, legit, and maybe people on this site have just decided they hate this person & are therefore projecting every moral panic that comes along and everything they don't like onto this person?"

But, like. Of course not, bc that would require admitting that they've been turning some random person into their weird little poppet that they can project everything onto and thus feel better about themselves. "I might be a total asshole who's participating in a weird internet brigade, and I may feel some kinda bad way about shit in my own life, but at least I'm not [person]!"

Anyway. I wish someone would make a script similar to the old MegaBlock on Twitter where you could put in a post URL and block everyone who interacted with it. Just one click. That would fucking rock.

#and somehow all of those people are trans!#no children not 'all of those people are transmasc'#i know that hating transmascs is one of the fashionable activities right now #but there are transfems who get this treatment too #Anyway time to go be productive

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genericpuff · 11 months ago

Text

Okay, what the FUCK is Inklore?

My ULO pals and I have been deliberating on this one since it was announced. "Inklore", the brand new imprint from Random House Worlds - which is, in and of itself, an imprint of Penguin Random House - and Rachel Smythe Presents, an in-house program of sorts that's dedicated to graphic novels, specifically those that "tell updated, romantic versions of classic stories and mythologies, and caters to readers looking for bingeable, relationship-driven stories with a distinct visual voice."

Basically it's exactly how it sounds - they're creating an imprint for works like Lore Olympus, and using Rachel as the leading lady.

But let's dig a little deeper. Because the more I searched on Inklore, Rachel Smythe Presents, and Random House Worlds, the more it started to paint a picture of what's really going on here.

INKLORE

I talked about this in my recent analysis of LO's pacing problems, but Inklore launching in Spring 2024 conveniently lines up with what would seem like a reasonable end point for LO. Rachel's always lined up LO's episodes with real life dates and holidays - even when it's been at her comic's own expense - and while we've kept our minds open to the possibility that it could end later than Spring, there's no denying at this point that LO itself is dragging itself out, which gives me stronger reason to believe it's just trying to make it to March, specifically March 20th, which is the first day of Spring in the northern hemisphere. Because of this, our best predictions right now is that LO's series finale will either release on FP or unlock for free readers on either the 16th or 23rd of March (if it unlocks for free on either of those dates, that means we can expect the series to end behind the FP paywall on either April 6th or 13th, assuming they're aren't any more hiatuses, but at this point I doubt there will be.)

Moving on, let's look at the actual Inklore site-

Already you can get the vibe of what kind of work they're looking for through their imprint. This is for people like Rachel. Now, I'm definitely not going to rag on anyone's tastes, I myself am a weeb of epic proportions, but considering you're about to see what's really the highlight of this site, you'll get what I mean when I say this isn't for people like Rachel, this is for people like Rachel. Specifically Rachel.

RACHEL SMYTHE PRESENTS

Inklore seems to be just an imprint specifically for Rachel Smythe Presents, with a couple extra series tacked on to give off the impression of it being more credible than it is. It means the whole site can be dedicated to it, rather than having it shoved in haphazardly alongside Penguin Random House's other works. You'll see what I mean in a second, but let's magnify those questions real quick, shall we?

As soon as I saw the "we are not accepting unsolicited pitches for Rachel Smythe Presents", it dawned on me that Rachel's own fans don't know how imprints work. Why do I say that? Look no further than the comment sections on her announcement posts for RSP (which I'm abbreviating, but I assure you, it stands for "Rachel Sex Party"- /j)

Of course, there are plenty of "congratulations" comments and "please do xyz myth", in which case, please, don't let her touch more myths I beg you-

But then there are also the odd comments of people asking how to get involved themselves. People who are just, by all accounts, regular people on the Internet.

But wait, how do you get involved? Thankfully there's a handy URL in that FAQ telling us how.

And holy shit, it's hilarious.

Guys, it's so easy to get into Rachel Smythe Presents! All you have to do is finish a manuscript, find an agent who's willing to work with a new unpublished author (and hope that they're not a scammer), get your manuscript prepared for publishing and submitted to editors, and then hopefully land a book deal! Wasn't that so easy?? Thanks for demystifying the process, Penguin Random House!

Listen, okay, there's something to be said about how difficult it is to navigate the publishing world. While some of those difficulties are for good reason - to ensure that not just any piece of crap thrown on paper can get published - many more are rooted in privilege, racial gatekeeping, and sexism. It is still an industry being run by a lot of nasty old fucks who take full advantage of people desperate enough to get their book published.

All that aside, it's kind of hilarious - in a sad kind of way - to see fans of this comic assume that this project and its opportunities were ever made for them. It wasn't. It wasn't made for the Canvas creators, it wasn't made for the Wattpad writers, it wasn't made for the people who work in the medium that Rachel started out in to get where she is today. It was made for the people who are already 3 of the 4 steps into Penguin Random House's "helpful" guide on publishing. It was made for the Cait Corrains and the wannabe Rick Riordans.

At best, Inklore is simply a home that's been manufactured for Lore Olympus after it's done on Webtoons. It may remain on the WT platform forever - or maybe not - but Inklore gives it a way to be seen and acknowledged outside of its niche. Because, despite Webtoons attempting to make Lore Olympus a global phenomenon, it really hasn't sold well in other countries, especially those where it was translated which people from those countries have stated it's not translated well at all.

It goes to show that much of LO's claim to fame was manufactured within North America by Webtoons itself, and Inklore is just another one of those manufactured attempts.

Still don't believe me? Still think I'm wearing too much tinfoil?

There are still only two series that Inklore has to show for itself - and remember, it launches in two months - and of course the ones leading that charge are every single volume of LO, even the ones that aren't "new and upcoming" anymore.

And then there's their Instagram, which is just more of the same-

(wonder if they ever found a Marketing Manager? Not exactly the role you want to be left empty leading up to a launch, oop-)

But wait, doesn't that site layout look a little... off? Almost cheap, maybe? Am I being too harsh-

Oop, nope, it's the exact same template used for the LoreOlympusBooks.com website.

Wait a minute, what about the imprint that Inklore is attached to? Random House Worlds?

RANDOM HOUSE WORLDS

... Uhhuh. I'm not entirely convinced that Lore Olympus is in any way on the same level as fucking Star Wars but to the average onlooker, this would make Lore Olympus seem pretty big and important simply on the virtue of it sitting smack dab in the middle of a grid of massive franchises.

So I'll bite, where do these buttons go? They all lead to external sites selling books and merchandise (except for the Marvel Studios one, which hilariously doesn't have a URL attached, so that button goes nowhere LMAO)

... Oh. It's that layout again.

Not all of them have the same layout, mind you, but it seems to be the default layout for sites they just haven't buffed up yet. It would explain why the Star Wars and D&D sites are a lot more robust in their designs, while others just link back to Penguin Random House:

Now the Minecraft one does look better at first glance, but it's still just the same template as the LO site, with a slightly different layout, but working off the same design philosophy, like they just spent a few extra hours dragging things around and spiffying them up in a site editor.

So it seems a lot of the default sites are working off the same CSS stylesheets, which doesn't exactly look good for LO and Inklore's online identity.

But hey, it's gotta mean something that LO is sitting alongside such franchises as Star Wars, Marvel, Magic the Gathering, and Minecraft, right? These are some of the biggest franchises on the planet, and while LO does make a lot of money, it's still nowhere near the billions that these franchises generate every single year.

And that's what I would be saying, if I hadn't noticed the specific products that Random House Worlds was selling - all easily churned out merch, from cookbooks to spin-off titles, which aren't exactly the main draw for these franchises, simply stocking stuffers or otherwise fun gimmicks to try out.

(I actually own the Dungeons and Dragons tarot deck. It's shit. They don't actually tell you the suit of the cards, JUST the numbers, so you have to flip through the book and match up the pictures on the cards with the pictures in the book just to figure out if it's Cups, Pentacles, Wands, or Swords, which I'm sure you can figure out, if you're a tarot reader, is very inconvenient and doesn't make for a good card reading experience)

Point is, Random House Worlds seems to mostly be an imprint dedicated solely to the cheaper products and books they can make to pump up a franchise's merch count. Even the Critical Role site doesn't offer the campaign books, those are published by their own personal imprint Darrington Press and are offered on their main - and much better designed - site:

Instead it's selling printed versions of interviews and... mad libs.

Not made or even really endorsed by the Critical Role cast, because if they were, they'd be on the main site, where the good shit is.

Random House Worlds is, at least judging off what I've found here, the "trick the parents into buying it" imprint. It's simply there for parents to see, go "my kid watches / plays that!" and then buy a Beholder puzzle which their kid will undoubtedly start and then never finish and eventually throw out half-finished after all the pieces have been lost. It's the cheap merch money generating machine, with works written by people who were simply paid to write it, and not people actually involved in the larger franchises.

And this is the imprint that Inklore and Rachel Smythe Presents is going to be an extension of.

At best, Inklore will likely just be a home for Rachel's work post-Webtoons, with maybe the odd success outside of it. At worst, it comes across as nothing more than an ego project, another artificial attempt to place Rachel and LO on the same playing field as Marvel, Minecraft, Star Wars, and Dungeons & Dragons through the only means that they can - an imprint that specializes in off-brand books, which they're truly counting on people just seeing the logos and going "wow those are big franchises!" and associating LO with that status simply by affiliation - without it having anywhere near the actual level of prestige, household influence, or brand recognition.

Its readership is dying out, its stats dropping, and worst of all, the vast majority of people - of which its a very small amount - who have heard about LO without being a Webtoons user themselves have heard how infamous it is in its bad writing and poor art direction.

It has nowhere to go but down, and if you were hoping to be a part of Rachel Smythe Presents, then all I can suggest to you is to go through the very simple process of finishing your manuscript, finding an agent, finding an editor, and then (hopefully) landing a book deal with the 'esteemed' Inklore.

Good luck! ヽ(・∀・)ﾉ

#lore olympus critical #anti lore olympus #lo critical #inklorebooks #inklore

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poisonedspider · 8 days ago

Text

Still got a few hours till the New Year over here, but figured I'd post it now - especially since half my friends are already in bed.

I'm really bad at sappy posts like this (ironically considering I make these posts randomly all the time). I mostly feel like there isn't something I can say that I haven't already. I'm not going to list a bunch of names or else I'd be here all night, but if you're reading this, just know that you matter.

I never thought we'd be here when I made this blog back in April, and if I'm being honest? I'm disappointed it took me that long. As most of you know, I had an Angel blog back in 2019, but mostly saw other Angels and Alastors so I gave up fairly quickly. In February, on my other blog, I was like....should I make an Angel blog? Is it going to be the same, even though Hazbin is big now? Will I delete it in a month like I do all my new blogs?

And I'm so glad that I didn't. This year has been, no joke, the best year of my life in any fandom. I've had severe roleplay trauma (some of you were there with me haaaa), so I get a lot of emotions. I break down a lot. I admittedly have panic attacks when I see people have blocked me without me knowing the reason (hey, I'm working on that). In a fandom like HelluvaHazbin, it can be challenging to not be worried. After all....there's a lot of dark topics...which could mean a lot of purity culture coming on the attack.

But I have never seen that here. Maybe it's because we are all some levels of fucked up, but this has been the healthiest and most supportive fandom I've ever seen. People let people do their extreme shit and move along, and that is...so refreshing? It's actually a safe place to explore. To write without being monitored. With the direction the world is going in a lot of ways, I never thought I'd find that.

I have never felt as strongly connected to a fandom to consider you all my found family. Guess it's kind of like how Angel felt when he first came to the hotel. Like sure, why not, let's try this out. To suddenly being all in, completely deep, loving every single one of you. Being vulnerable with all of you. Wanting to protect all of you at all costs.

I have 446 of you, and I don't know all of you on a personal level, but that doesn't mean I don't see you. That I don't admire you. That I don't want to be writing with you (please don't be strangers!) Every single one of you brings something to the table, and I love that. This is also the first time I have not been terrified by duplicates (well....mostly...it's a slow and steady race). Because every person's portrayal is so different and unique? Like?

To all of you that I write with, you have changed my life more than you know. The amount of times I'll be talking to my irl friends and be like "blah blah *drops a url* blah blah" or "Oh my gosh my Husk said this, my Pentious said this" and they're like...Strode is un poco loco but oh well. I have never felt happier than I do creating storylines with all of you. Exploring all different elements of these characters and their relationships.

I know I can be a lot. I know sometimes I spiral and post endlessly OOC, but that's because I feel safe here. And that's because you all have allowed this to be a safe space. I know I horny post consistently but - it's Angel, you know? And I don't have to worry about getting anon hate because of it. I can do what I want to, how I want to, and have nothing but cheerleaders. And that's so amazing. To feel safe out of character too is something I haven't had since the early days of roleplay when I used MSN Messenger (yes, I'm OLD).

So thank you. Every single one of you. I can't wait to make more with you in 2025. To continue these stories. For years to come, ideally, since we'll be waiting that fucking long for all these officially announced seasons - ha! I'm not going anywhere. And I know you all come and go, people delete blogs or switch fandoms or lose the hyperfixations, but whether you're here for a month or ten years, just know that you are loved. You are special. And I hope that 2025 brings you all the grace, peace, comfort, and joy that you deserve.

Thanks from me and one incredibly slutty spider. xoxo

#ooc: i am too sober for this;;#happy new years everybody #thanks for making this year so memorable

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emometalhead · 9 days ago

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It's time for my annual New Year's post!! I hope everyone finds peace and fun as we enter 2025. Sending good vibes all around 🩷✨️.

As per tradition, I want to express my gratitude for my lovely friends here. (In alphabetical order by url.)

@awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands - Alessia!! You are such a sweetheart. You are such a caring, kind person, and you're so beautiful inside and out. I am extremely lucky to have you in my life. You are a wonderful cheerleader for my successes, and I can only hope I provide the same enthusiasm for your life. I'm so proud of you for completing your schooling earlier this year, and I'm even prouder that you were able to dedicate your time to subjects that interest you so greatly. Your talent, creativity, and determination are inspiring. You are going to do amazing things, and I hope this coming year brings lots of joy and success. Love you 🩷🩷

@born-to-lose - Hiiii Mel 😘. Here's to many more concerts, musical discoveries, and fun flirtatious moments in 2025. You deserve all of the best and most enjoyable experiences in life. You're so smart, so talented, and so dedicated to your passions. I am in awe of you, always. It's actually so rude that you're so lovely and incredible. Also you're hot. Like girl, what can't you do? Love you forever 💍. I'm excited to see what this year will bring for you. I hope it's lots of joy and success in your endeavors. You're creative, talented, have great taste, and you're such a likeable person. I know you'll amount to great things, and it is so cool to have a glimpse into your life.

@day-trippin-dreamer - Tina!!!!!! I tell you all the time how much I love you and how amazing I think you are. It still bears repeating. You are one of my favorite people, and your friendship means more to me than you'll ever know. I am giving you the biggest virtual hug. Thank you for being there for me for so many years now. I know I can always count on you when I'm down, and I can always count on you to be just as excited as me when good things happen. Also you have such good taste, and it will always be an honor to be your friend and mutual. Here's to another great year of friendship, and hopefully lots of lovely lovely things in your future. ILY ✨️🩷

@doctorqueensanatomy - Hello my dearest, Sheamus! We've been friends for a few years now, but the way in which our friendship has blossomed this year has been so beautiful to me. I live for our life updates and spirited conversations about media, the effects of Capitalism, our regional quirks, and literally anything and everything else. I'm eternally grateful for you. I so badly wish I could snap my fingers and transport across the world to hang out with you. I'm always impressed by your thoughtfulness and ability to talk through situations. You are so smart, brilliant, and fun. I hope you know how much I love you. May this coming year bring us even closer. 🥰🥰

@duffmckagans - Hi Kelsey!! 😁 I'm so glad you're back on here!! Your presence brings a calm and bright energy into my life. We have had such a good few years of friendship despite the chaos surrounding both of our lives. After a bit of separation this year due to the aforementioned chaos, I hope 2025 will bring us closer than ever. I love how easily you understand my insane ramblings and the one million connections I make between media I love. You are so incredibly smart, insightful, and creative. I'll never stop being in awe of you. I also appreciate your willingness to be petty and dramatic with me. Multifaceted queen lol. Seriously though, I love you a ton, and I'm so happy you're in my life. I hope 2025 brings you stability and success. I'm always rooting for you.

@idontwanttospoiltheparty - Hi Fiona! I know we don't talk a ton, but your presence on my dash is always greatly appreciated. I love your takes, informed nuance, and analysis. It is clear how much thought you put into everything you care about, and that is admirable. I hope you know I genuinely take time to read and process everything you post, because it is always interesting. I hope this coming year is a positive one for you. I can't wait to see what you do or create next, and I'm sending good vibes your way. 🥰

@inquisitiveheretic - Hi Lee!! You've been around less this year, so I have really had to pay attention and appreciate when you're on my dash. Idk if you'll even see this, but I hope you do. I am wishing the best for you! I hope you're thriving irl. You will always be a person I hold a lot of respect for. It's been a long while, and I miss our chats. Just know even if we don't speak at all, I am always rooting for you. I hope lots of great media and interesting analysis comes your way in 2025. ♡♡♡

@losers-yurio - RYLIE!! I have no clue if you'll see this lol. I'm including you anyway. I will always always always be so grateful that we met. You will always be my first true Internet friend, and I'll never be able to explain the impact you've had on my life. I'm so grateful for you. It seems like you're absolutely killing it in college, and I'm so proud of you. You're such a kind, funny, and beautiful person. What an honor it is to even peripherally be in your life. I'm sending hugs and good vibes forever and ever. Here's to a wonderful new year ✨️✨️✨️

@nocturnal-light - Lynne, you impress me every single day. You're a great artist. Your drawings and crafts are always so cool, and it is an awesome thing to see. Your skating is so gorgeous. I'm so proud of you for everything you have accomplished with your skating career, and I'm so happy for you to have opportunities to do what you love. You are a ray a light, and I hope you know how much I adore you even though we don't talk too often. I hope you have a great 2025 full of music and fun. 🩷🩷

@no-fxn-club - Frankie!! Frankie!! Frankie!! You have no clue how often I think of you. Everytime I see cows, I think "Frankie would love them". Everytime I see a post where someone refers to a soda as a coke, I think of you. Everytime I listen to The Used or Set It Off or hear a southern twang, I think of you. You mean so much to me, and it is such an honor to know you. You have the best sense of humor, great taste in music, such a streak of creativeness, and it all cumulates in you being one of the best people I know. I am wishing you (and all your pets!!) a lovely, lovely 2025. 🖤🖤🖤

@only-a-heartbeat-away Hi Harlow! I think a lot of our interests have diverged, but I still have so much joy about us being mutuals. You're a really great person, and I love that we can still connect despite being in so many different fandoms. I love your passion about the bands you love, and I hope you discover even more cool music in the new year. I'm sending good vibes your way!! 🩷

@rebelrollerqueen - Hey Ren!! You haven't been around as much lately, so I hope you see this. I'm so proud of you. You are so intelligent, determined, and expressive. Your hair, makeup, and fashion are always above and beyond. Your taste in music is so good. Plus, you're a genuine, kind, and loving person. I don't care how old you become. I'll always be happy to be your Internet Mom. Seeing you grow over the last few years has been a beautiful thing, and I can't wait to continue seeing you move forward and succeed in life. Love you so much!! ♥️

@sohardlovingyou Hi Jori!!! You're my pop girlie icon forever. I love how tuned in you are to all the celebrity gossip and internet drama, and I love how happily you cheer on the people you're a fan of. Your blog is always a source of joy for me. It is so fun seeing your takes, and it's even more fun with how often our opinions overlap. You're such a fun person, and you're also gorgeous!! The whole package!! I hope you're winning in life, and I'm sending all the best vibes. May 2025 help us live out our poppiest fantasies. 💅🩷

@therockywhorerpictureshow - Hey Ella! 🥰 You're such a lovely presence on my dash!! I love getting little glimpses into your life. You have such adorable dogs. You are a baking icon. Seriously I want to eat everything you post 😭. If I ever find myself out East, I will seek you out for hugs and baked goods lol. You're so damn pretty it's actually crazy, and you're so sweet too. Just a lovely person overall. I'm so glad we're friends, and I hope 2025 brings you lots of good things. I'm so proud of you for going to school this year. It is an impressive and scary thing. You're pushing through and doing great. I hope you know I'm rooting for your success in all avenues. Love you!!

@xx-key-xx - Key, you're such a legend. You are the 2000s it girl of my dreams. You're so damn cool, and I love how much you're absolutely killing it. Your fashion, hair, and makeup are inspiring. I'm always happy to hype you up, and I can't wait to see what 2025 brings you for. I'm sending all the good vibes and energy your way. Let's party like it's 2005. 😎 Love you, icon!!

#Happy New Year everyone!!#ashley rambles

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aroaceleovaldez · 9 months ago

Note

the show chb logo was also ripped from fandom, like in the past decade all the official chb shirt had the logo without the circle and then the fandom started doing and the show went for it, sorry your tags reminded me of that

[Link to post/tags in question]

Yeah, I know Delphi Strawberry Service has done more circular-based CHB shirt designs for ages, and I've seen the more circular-based designs floating around for awhile. I think Magicbysab's circular-based CHB shirt designs also predate the show design? Those are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head. I understand on a level that if they did base it off fandom designs, particularly if they're basing anything on widespread fanon or fandom-based concepts, it can be difficult to pin down credit or may even seen unnecessary. But if they're going to be doing that I feel like at least they could hire like, a fandom consultant of sorts? Instead of just ripping off from the fandom, hire someone from the community who produces that already so at least there's some recognition and acknowledgement of where it originated.

Heck, in some instances if you ask around in the fandom it's not hard to pinpoint who specifically popularized certain concepts! I could talk for ages about Cherryandsisters being a driving force behind photokinesis!Will, or Saberghatz with plague!Will (tbh between the two they spearheaded a ton of early Will/Solangelo fanon), and I swear Drksanctuary alone is behind like 50% of Alabaster fanon, etc etc etc. People in the fandom know these things! Heck, we know ReadRiordan company knows how to do that kind of thing! They commissioned Viria for the official art, and the UK Riordan newsletter reaches out to fans all the time to feature their work (with credit, they're one of the better ones)! Though in Rick's book tours he did showcase Viria's art (at least with credit) without asking before she got commissioned, and during the Tower of Nero book tours they actually straight up stole a solangelo edit from Pervysloth with completely zero credit (link is to my canon url readriordan parody blog).

I think it doesn't help as well that Rick and his editor allegedly use the fandom wiki in place of a series bible. The PJO wiki is notorious for putting inaccurate information or fanon onto pages at random and having no sources. (What I wouldn't give for the PJO wiki to have frequent book/page sources a la Warrior Cats wiki...) There are what, now almost 18 books in the main series alone? Of an extremely renowned best-selling series that's 20 years old and now being adapted for TV? And they STILL don't have a series bible? That's like, step 1 of writing a series. This kind of reliance of the fandom for resources and concepts definitely isn't new for them.

It just feels so bizarre as to what it says about how the ReadRiordan company views the fandom and the creatives within it. I understand that trying to figure out how to give credit to the concept of "CHB shirt design, but circular!" is difficult, if you even can find out who did that first or popularized it. But if you're going to rip things from fandom, at least find somebody to try and credit? Show that you put in even the tiniest amount of effort? And if you get it wrong and people know, they'll correct you and that's that! But ReadRiordan just keeps trying to actively obscure these kinds of things, even with their own media, not ripped from the fandom, which makes it feel all the worse when it gets pointed out. And a lot of the time the whole reason those concepts get popular is because they're filtered through big names in the fandom! The fandom is a community! We know these people! We can point to them and explain exactly what they popularized! Remember how Velinxi popularized long haired Piper with the heart-shaped flyaways? Goodness only knows how many fandom designs are heavily influenced by Viria and Minuiko and Burdge (and Indigonite and Fuocogo and Ikimaru and Thecottonproject and Joker-ace and Sixofclovers and Vikingmera and Saber and Cherry and and and-). If you are in the community this stuff is easy to find. But Rick and the ReadRiordan company clearly being ~5 years behind with fanon pretty obviously tells me that they're not in the community at all, and aren't bothering trying.

#riordanverse #pjo #readriordan #pjo tv crit #rr crit #Anonymous #ask #long post //#sorry i am passionate about fandom history and crediting artists #its late and im too lazy to proofread right now so im just throwing this one out there #apologies if it's nonsensical #anyways Rick and ReadRiordan stop ripping off literally everyone challenge #stares pointedly at Rick blatantly recycling his own writing. its not a fun callback my guy thats just lazy writing #percy making a dam joke to himself in SoN? cute callback #solangelo falling into tartarus scene in TSATS being a direct rip of percabeth in MoA/HoH? what the hell man

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weirdowithaquill · 1 year ago

Text

Fish in An Engine's Tank? It's More Likely Than You Think:

So, recently I wrote a story for my 'The World Famous Engine' fic (read here) which focused on the Flying Scotsman getting fish and weeds into his tanks, which clogged up his injector.

While on the surface, this sounds like a rehash of 'Thomas Goes Fishing' from Season 1, it's actually a rehash of a real-life event that happened to 60103 Flying Scotsman in 1958.

The story of the original incident goes as such: back in the late 1950s, the Flying Scotsman worked on the ex-GCR mainline through Leicester. On the way to London, the injectors failed one after the other, leading to pandemonium on the footplate as they were forced to basically drop the fire at speed and try desperately to get the injectors working again before their engine blew up with a full express. You can imagine their relief when the water started flowing again!

And despite all of this, they were only five minutes late to Marylebone!

The reason for this absolutely frantic and tense few minutes? Well, the outlet pipes from the tender to the injector were protected by wire mesh, which was absolutely clogged with algae and weeds! And then they managed to extract roughly three buckets worth of live fish - and not little minnows, I'm talking bream and rudd - from Flying Scotsman's tender!

And the cherry on top? The fireman, Ken Issett, recalls a lady who said to the crew: "Thank you for my safe journey."

Yeah, this actually happened. The world's most famous engine was very nearly destroyed by some weeds and fish.

But how did the fish get into Flying Scotsman's tender? The answer lies in where railways got their water supply from: anywhere and everywhere. Railways needed a lot of water in an era when pump infrastructure and feed-water was treated a lot less carefully. Furthermore, a lot of railways (in the UK at least) also owned canals, which they would simply take the water from and use. The water was moved to water towers via either gravity or pumps, and then stored before being loaded into the engine's tanks. And the pipes were big, to handle the amount of water required by steam railways.

Some firemen from the era recall using homemade rods to go fishing in tenders and water towers and catching fish! Others recalled the fact that they disliked going into the water tanks to clean and inspect unless they were ordered to. One account literally says:

'The bigger tanks were best, not the smaller side tanks. Better than the canal, though.’

Another said:

‘On Friday afternoons they had trouble finding cleaners because we were all up in the water tank with rafts!’

From this, I'm pretty sure we can all agree that Thomas getting a fish in his tank after having to use a bucket is surprising, not because there was a fish in his tank, but because it wasn't pumped in months ago! Apparently steam locomotives were just massive, unwilling fish tanks.

Considering this, it's a real wonder that there weren't more stories about fish causing an absolute menace on the railways!

For those who want to read the article this is based on, here is the hyperlink and the URL:

#fanfiction writer #weirdowithaquill #railway series #thomas the tank engine #ao3 stuff #ao3 link #real world trains #fish #steam engines are just massive fish tanks #railways #flying scotsman #ttte thomas

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keeponquinning · 2 years ago

Text

Yes, Professor — Part One of Three.

Joseph Quinn x Erotica Novelist Fem!Reader. 18+

Word Count — 4.6k

Summary — slightly based on this, but mainly. You're Joseph's secret writer girlfriend who you met amidst the start of his convention tours, things are hot and heavy between you two, though strained for the inconvenience of not living in the same city and not being official. You're forced to spend a week apart but plan to meet up with him back in London on the last day of his Con appearance, and after teasing him for his Professor type choice of outfits, well, you just couldn't resist showing up dressed as your professor's favorite student, now could you? We thought not.

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

Part One — He's in London, you? Are not. In a party for you best friend's boyfriend, you manage to get him in a call, hearing his voice, laughing, conversations wishing to see his face, but you can take what you can get.

Preview —

Warnings — Not too many, nothing really smutty happens this part, maybe some dirty talk. Established relationship, it is a big ol' RPF and my first attempt. If not your thing, that's valid AF, just don't be mean / a dick about it. I am but a drop in this massive ocean called Tumblr, just swim on past and enjoy the waves without me if it bothers, I beg. There's also cursing. 18+ so minors, PLEASE, DNI!

Notes — Oh, this came out sooner than my last one, huh?? Mainly because I decided to split this into three parts instead of one big ol' one shot. I def learned my lesson lmao I had a lot of fun writing this, dialogue and banter are my fave things and there was a lot of that in this. Kinda fell in love with these two and planning on doing an actual multi-chaptered fic with them, how they met, all that jazz, let me know if it's something you'd want. Or not, if I get just one person like "yes, please" I'll do it bc people pleasing tendencies fuel me. I've left Reader pretty vague and ambiguous but we do have her mentioning Joseph's British-ness and obviously not living in the same continent because transatlantic romance is so rom com it hurts, but, feel free to ignore that and implant your own background on her, kinda the point, right?? Alright, hope you like this! Like, Reblog and Comment, they fuel me and make my heart go pitter patter!

Taglist — @lunaapis , @munsons-mayhem28 , @inourtownofhawkins , @hopperscock ( i fucking love this url you have no idea )

"What are you wearing?"

You hear an amused chuckle on the other end of the call, along with a distinct clicking of tongue. "...don't I get a hello first or are you missing me that much?"

A snort comes out your way, totally undignified, but he'd never call you out on it. "I mean, I am, but... Shut up." He's cackling now, that laugh that makes you smile stupidly and you're glad you're on an audio call rather than face time — though you wouldn't mind seeing his stupidly pretty face. "I'm serious, what are you wearing?"

"Why are you asking?" his voice strained, amused, but strained. He must be smiling, his laughter barely dying down.

Taking a deep breath, you explain, "Because I haven't seen you in a week and from the photos I've been seeing of you all day today... I need to prepare myself for when I see you tomorrow."

"I need you to repeat that, not the nonsense about my clothes but the...seeing me tomorrow bit."

Your eyes closed, lips stretching in a smile that, in the crowded room you were in the middle of, you tried to suppress. Teeth biting your lip, eyes cautiously looking around the party you were attending but your mind being on a man across the pond as it were, you let out a soft scoff. "....I need to prepare myself for when I see you tomorrow."

"Damn fucking right you will," his voice low, almost a growl that was...unfortunate, considering your surroundings. But more important, his tone was wistful. You heard the sound of gentle squeak, taking to mean that he sat on his bed, one that you missed very much at the moment. "I can't wait for that, and you will be needing to prepare yourself once we're alone... I fucking miss you."

"Mmm, your voice notes kinda gave that impression, yeah," you chuckled, hearing his as well. "Though I enjoyed hearing them when I wake up. It's lame, but, I do miss hearing your voice first thing in the morning." You hear him take a deep breath, exhaling with a soft hum. "Among other things. Hotel beds are just a bit too cold without you."

"Mhm, feeling the same way with my own bed, darling. Have to remind myself it's just been a week, but, feels a bit longer. Can't wait to have you back, though I know, temporarily."

"I know," this time it was you that sounded wistful. You knew you shouldn't, it was a good reason you'd be away from him. The latest in your book series was out there, digitally and in a week, in physical form. The gap between that and the previous book a bit too wide for your liking, or that of your publisher and readers. It was good that you finally finished it, but in that, included a tour of the book, which meant away from him, your sort of boyfriend. "At least you'll have me for a week, well, between your filming, anyway. Enough time for your friends to get sick of me and then wish I went away to have you to themselves again and for my friends to miss the me that isn't attached to your hip."

"Hah," he scoffed, a sound of a stretch that you could only assume was him laying down on his bed. "My friends are sick of me now, keep complaining about how I miss you. Even have Wes saying if I'm this needy without you, can't imagine how you handle me by your side, so, you've somehow got their sympathy and on your side, I'm the problem now, apparently." You couldn't hold in the laugh that barked its way out of you, and you could hear the offense even from the other line. "Oi. Don't laugh, you knew I was needy from the get go, I made no attempt to hide that."

Recovering from the laugh, you have a nod, though you knew he couldn't see, "Yeah, you are a bit of a clinger." Your smile still lingering, eyes soft, "But... It's...kinda one of your more endearing qualities, so... I'll take it."

"Oh, how gracious of you, accepting that I fucking adore you to the point of being miserable enough without you and getting on my friends fucking nerves"

He always made you laugh, you didn't even know if he intended to, but you could hear him laughing alongside you, so he must have, right? "God, hearing you curse is the best, y'know? You seem like a nice, proper boy, but then you curse and it..." You shake your head, "Makes me miss you more."

You heard him scoff, a wet sound, and you could almost see him licking his lips with a smile. "I know, dead sexy and all that... Hard to resist."

A shrug of your shoulders, more to yourself, of course, "...it kinda is. Makes me wanna do things to you to make you curse more..."

He groaned, which was also a lovely noise on its own. "Don't say things like that when you're not in grabbing distance, it's not fair."

You smiled, almost wickedly, eyes catching sight of your best friend, the only reason you were away from him at the moment. "Yeah, well, at least you're alone on your bed, I'm surrounded by people in my pretty dress, not getting grabbed and kissed by you and..." you trailed off as said best friend stopped in front of you, a pointed brow arched. You cleared your throat, smile still in place, "Which is totally fine, because I'm here to support my best friend and her crazy talented boyfriend on his birthday and album release and I'm totally fine with it."

"Mhm," she let out with a nod, "What I thought. Hi, Joe, can you two say goodbye because said boyfriend is gonna start up in a few minutes and I will not have you two have phone sex while he's performing, thank you."

"Excuse me!"

"You're not excused! You're so not excused — you're not allowed."

"That's just—" you were about to say rude when you very clearly hear the cackling on the other end of your call. "Stop laughing! You're not allowed to laugh right now, that's not fair."

"I'm sorry!" he let out, his voice thin, high, and you could hear an attempt to calm the laughter — but an attempt he did not win as more laughter came rolling out, making your lips twist and wanting to laugh despite yourself. Why did his laugh have to be so infectious sometimes? "I'll stop, I swear..." he continued, making you roll your eyes, looking at the smirking face of your best friend. "....oh, god... Tell Jen I said hello."

You couldn't help but let out a soft laugh, looking over at her, "The painfully British one says hello, because manners maketh the man I'm sure."

Jen cackled as well, shaking her head, "I'll give you two like, ten minutes, tops. You're introducing them, remember?"

"Of course. Ten minutes." A mock salute given, you watch as she turned toward the stage of the intimate venue, just a smaller group of closest friends. Taking a deep breath, directing your attention to your phone, "J o e."

"Oh, no, not Joe. I'm always in trouble when I get Joe instead of your usual Joseph."

"Damn right, that was not cool, I know we're not official, but, you have to have my back. It's the most chivalrous thing to do."

He snickered, "I'm... I'm sorry, I'm sorry! But, well," you heard him release a soft laugh, then heard, "...not to point fingers but you did start the conversation asking me what I was wearing... So was that...not where this was heading...?"

You clicked your tongue off the roof of your mouth very disappointingly, kind of. "No, you perv, I just wanted to know if my sort of boyfriend is going to continue dressing up as a slutty professor so I can figure out how to handle seeing that in person."

"I—" he started, but words cut off with a snicker, and then a proper laugh. "You—Okay. Several things. Don't fucking call me your sort of boyfriend. I am your boyfriend, just.... Well. Secret boyfriend. At least for now—"

"—until your publicist deems me worthy of being known to be dating you."

"No, just... Until we're more established, is all. And I am looking forward to that, taking you to events and such. I'd love to go to the book tour with you, show off how fucking proud I am of you and this book. But... I also don't want to overshadow your accomplishment, the way it's so mad right now. But I am your boyfriend, I know you say it in a joking manner with Jen and our friends, I get it, but... And it's fine to joke about it. Really. But I need you to know it's real for me and I hope it is for you, too. It... It is, isn't it?"

You smiled softly, his words warming your heart more than they should, once again blown away by his sense of sincerity. You never really dated anyone like that before and sometimes, it honestly takes you by surprise. "... Yeah, I know. And I don't mind it, honestly. I'd end things if I did... You're my boyfriend and I'm your girlfriend and...if my joking around hurt you in any way, then I'm sorry, you know I don't mean it. Not with something like this. You...mean a lot to me in a very short amount of time and...it's kind of overwhelming sometimes."

There was a soft sigh, a pleased one, from the other end of the call. "I know. I feel the same. Was never expecting you, or anyone, not like this. And no, you didn't hurt me, not one bit. There's no worry of that. I just needed you to know, I'm in this with you."

Though you certainly didn't need to hear it, there's a lightness from within your chest at his words, a light ease in your breathing and your soft smile grew wide. You didn't need him to confirm what you already knew, but, it was lovely to hear. "Me too. I'm in this, too. Especially if you're going to be sweet like that," you end with a light chuckle, joined by his own. "Not fair on your part. But, I'll let it pass."

"My girlfriend is very gracious like that, I'm so lucky to have her."

"Don't you forget it. Okay. I'm assuming you had more to say?"

"Yes, thank you for that. Was quickly getting side tracked... I just wanted it to be known that I am severely disappointed that phone sex is off the table, that broke my heart since we've been in an almost constant state of phone tag, its ridiculous," you giggled at that, actually giggled which was rare. And he knew it, you could hear his chuckle, and though you couldn't see him, you knew he was pleased with that smug little smirk on his lips. "But, I'll survive that. Also. Slutty professor? I've no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh, come on. You dress like a romantic, slutty professor to these things and you know it."

"I think someone's too far into their own erotica stories and confusing some things, I... Dress as a professional. I have to. My stylist deems it so and I just...do as I'm told."

"...Joseph. What were you wearing today, and don't lie, I've seen the pictures. I just wanna hear you say it."

"You're being absolutely ridiculous, I... My loafers, my favorite ones, trousers, erm... Blue button shirt and... Well, a cardigan..." There was a pause, and you knew he was rethinking it all. "...beige cardigan and.....my dark grey...coat—okay. Maybe... Maybe it was a bit professor-ish. You...might be on to something there..."

"Uh-huh. Dressed like a professor who cares and has long office hours for any of his students to come by to unwind..."

"Stop that," he let out with a laugh. "That should be your next book."

"Oh, who says it won't be? I'll dedicate it to you, for inspiration. I'm assuming you'd be open for me to come to you for...brainstorming? Test out scenes, just, y'know, for the sake of art and authenticity?"

"Morning, noon and night, yes, I'm all yours and your....creativity." He chuckled, softly, there was a lingering silence between the two of you, and then a groan from his end. "Just out of curiosity... Would... I dunno, say...a sweater vest, erm... Like....Oof, a grey one with a dark jacket, that um... Is that slutty professor chic, you think?"

"I fucking knew it."

"Hold on! It was... It was a thought... Are you into the slutty professor look, though?"

"Why do you think I called you in the first place? Yes, of course I'm into it. Do you know what it's like, seeing your pics all over my social media, people sending me pics of you with that cardigan and long coat and just... Do you?"

You could almost hear his smug smile as he let out an even soft chuckle. "I do, actually... You're wearing that burgundy dress aren't you?" Your brows rose, though you didn't say anything, not yet. A soft little hum buzzing into your ear through your phone. "I've been stalking your instagram the past week, so I saw the picture you posted today. It's that burgundy dress I like. The one with the bow at the hip and the... The matching choker with the jewelry that you think is almost tacky but... I like it. Gave me something to look at the other time you wore it, remember that? Was it New Years? Took you to an empty room right before countdown, lifted your skirt and—"

"S t o p, we're not doing that, not now," though you smiled, remembering the moment quite clearly, feeling your skin flush especially as he laughed then. He had such a nice, deep, warm laugh sometimes. "...okay, so, yes, I'm wearing that dress... It's not the same, though, like, aside from that choker you love so much, it's pretty tame in comparison..."

"Mm, not for me. I love that color on you. I love anything on you if it means I can take it off of you. And—a cardigan's tame. A long coat is tame."

"The hell a long coat is tame, that's... Anyway, you wear the slutty professor really well and it's not fair. Especially if you're going to to do tomorrow. After being away from you a week... That's cruel, baby. I won't even be able to touch you until the con's over." You heard him hum, probably thinking the very same. A thought comes, making you chuckle suddenly, "I should retaliate."

"...oh god," he let out, clearly recognizing when a wicked thought comes to mind. "Pray tell, how?"

"Why... Professor..."

"....Oh, fuck."

"Yup. By dressing up as one of your favorite students, of course."

"....jesus fucking christ." You heard a small groan, "God, you would, wouldn't you? I don't know if I could take that. It's been a week, body going in withdrawal without you and the sight of you with knee high socks..."

"Hmm. Telling that the knee high is the first thing you go to. Noted."

He chuckled, "Yes, well... The thought of you in knee highs is rather... I wouldn't take them off. Not the entire time."

Your smile widened, biting your bottom lip. "Yeah? Mmm. Well, good, because I'd definitely wear your favorite colors, just for you, Professor."

"Fuck off," he said softly, though, and when you laughed, you heard him let out a breath. "Shit. I can't shake the image, now. My favorite student, dressed so pretty for me. Looking nice and soft...with uh..." He exhaled, "Burgundy knee highs, snug and soft..."

You kept a careful eye around you, trying so hard to suppress your smile. But the sound of his voice was so...alluring, finding yourself squeezing your thighs a little bit. "Keeping up with the color theme, I see..."

"It is my favorite color at the moment, especially on you."

You hummed, "Okay. Question, knee highs or thigh highs?"

"No," his voice instant, "Gotta be the knee highs. I'd want... I'd want your thighs absolutely bare. For my fingers to run and roam over the skin... And...then, y'know... I wouldn't be able to resist to kiss you there as well. Gentle ones of course, but, being away from you this time...wouldn't be long until I start biting..."

A breathless laugh escapes you, now not even caring if anyone looked or listened in on you. It had been a while since you talked to him in real time, without having to push play, it was too good to cut away from. "For someone that says they can't write for the life of them, you're not doing too bad, Professor. You might give a run for my money if you ever decide to go into the erotica business."

"Mmm, tempting, but no. I'll leave that to you. It'd just be a novel of me fucking you and I'd rather have the real thing. But... Was I good enough to get you wet for me, darling?"

It shouldn't make you blush, you built your whole career in literary dirty talk and seducing your readers with your words... But when Joseph did it, his words and voice always struck you deep. Much deeper than any other partner had, which was slightly scary and mainly thrilling. You felt the heat creeping up your neck, a soft giggle being awarded to him. "....you know you are." You heard a pleased sigh from him, taking in a deep breath as you try to calm yourself. That no, sneaking off wasn't an option, that the growing ache between your legs would have to wait, even if you wouldn't have him talk you through it, guide you toward climax in the only way he could. But. "You got me wet and feeling it now every time I walk around in my pretty burgundy dress in a room filled with people."

"Well... I'm alone in my lonely room with a very bothersome hard on and... Probably feel lonelier still when we say our goodbyes and I'll only have my hand and thoughts of you in your pretty burgundy dress, wet, wishing I can feel just how wet you are."

You let out a breath, closing your eyes a moment. "...and I'd wish it was my hand, my mouth, on that...bothersome hard cock," you heard him groan, making your heart flutter, as well as your cunt. "Like I've been fantasizing this past week."

He took a deep breath, you could hear the exhale produce static on your end, a soft hum. "Same here, love. Suppose we'll be doing the same thing tonight..."

With a dejected sigh, you have an affirming hum, "Our ten minutes are about done. Otherwise I'd sneak to a room somewhere and..." You chuckled, "Tell you in excruciating detail the things I'd do to you to make you curse." His laugh comes out at that, making your smile spread further on your face. "But. I am due on stage to introduce my best friend's boyfriend and his band, so... She'd kill me if I missed that, and then would go and kill you, and no one wants that."

"No, no, we do not. That's fine. More to release when I see you tomorrow. Probably keep you to myself for the rest of the week, fair warning, darling."

"Yes, Professor. I'm very okay with that."

The way he groaned at that made your heart flutter again, as well between your legs. You did miss him, terribly, your fingers and toys did little to satisfy you, not without his warmth, his kiss, the moans you'd swallow and hunger for more. "...keep that up and I won't want you to call me anything else."

"Is it bad I kinda like it? P r o f e s s o r?"

He gave a helpless laugh, "Shit, it is. It's very bad of you. Naughty, even. Wicked. My poor coc—"

"Tomorrow, only until tomorrow. And then I'll make it up to you, in any way you want me to. I'll call you professor if you want me to."

"I knew there was a reason you're my favorite student..." You smiled and you could feel he was smiling too. "Okay. I'm going to give you back to your best friend, again. Thank her for me, for letting me have you to myself for this long."

"I will, she'll expecting nothing less. Think of me?"

He chuckled, and you could picture him shaking his head. "When am I not? Especially right now, left to my own devices... Until I have you to myself again." You heard him take a sharp intake of breath, "Have fun, yeah? I love you."

You felt like a teenager again, at the sound of those three words, said recently, right before you left. A slip of the tongue, but meant with sincerity from you both. "I love you, too. I'll see you... Bye."

"Bye, darling. I can't wait."

There was a heaviness that weighed on you as you ended the call, knowing it had to be you, otherwise you wouldn't end it at all. The warmth of his voice lingered, the image of his face imprinted on your brain, curling your fingers around your phone. A thought hitting you like lightning, going to messages and tapping quickly.

Send me a voice note. I wanna hear you.

He liked it.

Your smile widening as you turned around, dumping your phone into your purse and with your heels, made it toward the small stage where the band were setting up. Hands went to Jen's shoulders, hugging her from behind. "I'm all yours, now. He said thank you for letting him have me for the call."

She scoffed with a roll of her eyes, "Gross, you guys are gross."

"Shut up, we're cute." Jen seeming unconvinced. "Whatever, I'm happy."

Your best friend gave a shrug, "Then that's okay." You pulled away and stood beside her, and she took a breath. "He does seem to make you happy and... I don't hate that. Just the whole...secret relationship thing gives me pause." Crossing her arms, she looked to you, raising her brow. "Be honest.... You really okay with it? Because if you are, I'll back off and be one hundred percent for you guys. Because he is nice and seems crazy about you and I haven't seen you this happy in a while... I just don't want you hurt, y'know? I'm not being a bitch—"

"You're never a bitch—" you interjected, pausing as you two looked at each other, and you smirked. "Okay, well, yeah, you are, but for good reasons. A boss bitch, through and through." You paused a bit, giving a shrug of your shoulders. "I dunno. We talked about it... I kinda get it, he kinda blew up overnight and doing...so many things and I... I can't even imagine. I got booktok and like... Well, this book tour, but, obviously nothing on his level. He seems more concerned about if it came out, he'd overshadow my book and the press for it." Which you did appreciate, you worked hard, but part of the reason you got the book done as fast as you did was his encouragement. Being the first to read your pages, his excitement over the story you crafted holding a huge part. "It would have been nice to dedicate the book to him, but, since we aren't....out, didn't really feel right."

"Mmhm..."

"But. I don't know, at first it was kind of fun, sneaking around, dodging photographers, you know. Secret affair type of thing except not being horrible with spouses to cheat on, that kind of thing? And we were casual at first, seeing other people, until... We weren't and...not casual anymore. I mean, it's kind of still fun but also...not."

Taking a deep breath, she sighed. "And how long until it's not kind of fun for you?"

Looking over at her, you frowned, hating that she had a point. "I don't know. I'm not there yet... And I'm hoping it doesn't come to that because... I'm really fucking happy with him." Raising your brow, you give her a reassuring smile. "I'll be careful. And if I'm not, you can kick my ass about it."

"Deal," she agreed to, seeming a little lighter about the situation. "So, is he still going to dress all Mr. Darcy as a Professor when you see him?"

"I swear, he's a walking Jane Austen leading man, like it's just straight up Professor without him even trying." She laughed, you joining in. "It's gotta be a British thing, it has to." Laughing a bit harder, "I teased him with an idea, though, dressing up like a student."

"Oh? Oh, that'd be perfect. Are you meeting him after that con or...?"

A sly smile comes across your face, then, looking at her with a slight chuckle. "Mmm... Don't laugh, but... I actually planned on surprising him at the con?" Your smile widened as she gasped, looking at you agape. "I bought a photo and autograph with him. I knew there'd be no chance on the day of and I thought it'd be cute, you know? He doesn't know."

"Oh, God, I hate to say it, but that's fucking adorable! And kinda genius." Her eyes widened, "You know, though... I mean... The set up's too perfect, you have to dress all slutty student."

"Hey, slutty is for Halloween, I'd be dressed as his favorite student, with knee highs, he seemed very into that."

If her eyes could widen even further, Jen's would, letting out a bark of a laugh. "Oh my god, knee—no, no," shaking her head. "You are doing this. You are gonna do this. Listen...we're gonna make this happen."

"We don't have time, I'm getting the red eye, remember? And by the time this is over—"

But she was determined, shaking her head, "Nope, look. You're gonna introduce the band, because you are my amazing writer friend and words are your thing. We'll stay for a few songs, and then I'm going to take you shopping, okay? I'm making this happen, I'm gonna make this happen for you."

"I thought he gave you pause and you're gonna work this hard to make a fantasy come true for him?"

She wagged her finger from side to side, "Oh, no, no. Not for him, for you. Look, he seems great and he probably is, and maybe there will be a time where he's like a brother to me, but right now? I believe you when you say he makes you happy and that you're happy with him, I see it, so, I'm doing this for you. Because you are my best friend and that's love, bitch."

"I love you. Like... You'll always be my first love, in a totally platonic kind of way. Only because of the fact that you're annoyingly straight."

Jen sighed, "I know, it's a pain, but, we'll always have each other's backs and our hearts, before anyone else." Her gaze going toward the stage, her musician boyfriend giving her a nod, releasing a soft smile. "We didn't do so bad, though. You're up. Make me proud of my boyfriend, okay?"

"Oh, yeah, how do you want me to go about it? Soft and emotional, very serious or...roast him but from the heart?" You both looked at each other for a moment, the answer quite clear.

"Roast him."

for your consideration....

#words did come hither — writings #joseph quinn — writings #joseph quinn smut #joseph quinn fic #joseph quinn x fem!reader smut #joseph quinn x you #joseph quinn x reader

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seenthisepisode · 2 years ago

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hi! I saw your post about the why episode title change why 11 scenes cut why lamp etc etc and I know some of it but not all, and I was hoping you could elaborate on spngate— if it’s not too much trouble— or point me in a direction where I can join you in the spn gate?

I feel ashamed for HOW LONG i let this ask just rot in my askbox (it's from january, apparently, now it's april. i thought maybe two weeks passed but NO. it was months. ANON I AM SO SO SO SO SORRY. I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART) but now with the power of this url and the wine i am currently sipping, let me give you the best, most thought-out answer that i possibly can.

I don't know how long you've been following/watching spn, so I won't get into real deep iceberg theories that go back to season 8 and jeremy carver, for the purpose of this essay answer I'll just stick to the year anno domini 2020, and will try to do my best to tell you what happened.

Okay, maybe 2019. So, in june 2019, when the first scripts and drafts for s15 are presented, these things happen: 1. apparently, according to Berens, the confession scene is the first thing that was written for season 15. 2. Jensen Ackles is sat down and asked if he would be okay with this. (question is asked: why would they ask jensen if all he does in this scene is look at cas, he doesn't say anything, he does not confess, it changes nothing about his character, etc.; if you put the real tjlc tinfoil hat on you'd ask hey , maybe they asked him if precisely that is okay, if he is okay with the fact dean is practically silenced here but that's Deep) 3. Jensen apparently is okay with that, because it happens.

also this thing happens around the same time: 1. they write the ending for the brothers, and no matter what version of the finale we're talking about, Dean dies 2. Jensen Ackles is Not Okay with this. he calls Kripke who then, in a call and/or email assures him it's a good ending (Jensen says that) and also very quickly after that Jensen is announced to play Soldier Boy in Kripke's The Boys. make of that what you want

They film, blah blah, march 2020, covid happens, they stop production right after they film the confession. Last episode to air is 15x13, last episode they film is 15x18, they almost have a plane crush when flying to vegas con, and then, a loooong break until august 2020. Now, from what we know, there were two versions of the finale - the pre-covid finale they were supposed to film if the filming schedule wasn't interrupted, and the finale that happened.

What was supposed to be in the Original Finale/Pre-Covid Finale, we still don't know exactly, but from what the cast said, there was supposed to be a big cast reunion, Harvelle's Roadhouse in Heaven, Kansas Band (why are they dead?) playing there after Dean gets there and so on.

Anyway. July 2020. Misha does a livestream with Michael Sheen (the SuperGood campaign) where he says he is going back to filming the last two episodes in a few weeks. he said it LIVE. it's on youtube. people analyze the background from Misha's livestreams and photos and conclude he is in Vacouver, where spn is filmed. He also says that he is going back filming in a few interviews. Also here.

August 2020. They go back to filming in august 2020 to film 15x19 and 15x20.

August 20th, 2020, Misha's birthday.

I wasn't on set TODAY. so casual. of all days i wasn't there today.

August 24th, 2020, day 6/8 of filming 15x19, Angel with a Shotgun is hash tag Song of The Day while filming scenes of 15x19 (scene 28, 31).

September 4th, 2020. ALL THEY FILM, for the whole DAY, is one scene. They usually film a few. They film one. Song of the day? The Night We Met.

Somewhere before the episodes starts to air again, Dabb says only 30% of the audience will like the finale. Anyway, everyone concludes, Misha is filming, destiel is more or less going canon, but everyone including bibros is sure Misha is filming and will be there for the finale.

Originally, "Despair" was called "The Truth".

Finale airs.

It feels shorter (apparently it's not) but it does have an additional ad break. For Walker. But it feels shorter because of the "carry on my wayward son" cover montage that lasts too long and later it's discovered thanks to scripts that dropped that there are ELEVEN scenes that were filmed,, but didn't make it to the episode. The script that drops is also very telling, where scenes are just [OMMITTED]. It was explained that they wanted to have actor there but they didn't want actors to quarantine for two weeks to film one or two scenes BUT then that's exactly what they did with Jim Beaver lmao.

So yeah. I also remember Misha at a con (DarkLight?) where, after asked about the original ending, he answers that the original ending was something that would be better explored in fanfiction anyway. Theory rises he filmed and was cut off the episode without his or Jensen's knowledge because Misha sat down his kids to watch the spn finale (which was the first episode they were supposed to watch ever, why would he do that if he's not there?) and then, CW SPN twitter posts a goodbye video that has everyone from the cast and their mother BUT MISHA AND JENSEN ARE NOT THERE. Jensens sexy silence starts.

THEN THE WILDEST THING HAPPENS.

November 25th, the Spanish Dub. 15x18 drops in Brazil and Dean says "and i you" to Cas, after he confesses. No "don't do this cas" but "and i you". Tumblr stops working for two hours, people on discords are screaming, no one knows whats happening, someone claims Jensen was called in September 2020 to record some adlibs? To record the muffled sobs Dean does while on the floor. Theory is supported by the fact that in the Bazil version? When Dean sits on the floor? The sound that plays are birds. Chirping birds. Sounds don't match, what was Dean saying while crying on the floor, question arises.

Everyone decides there was a Rogue Translator who managed to hide from The CW Sniper (who is the reason actors just dont tell us everything) and translated some kind of Original Script. Voice Actors are invited to a podcast where they debunk this saying that it was added because the translator felt this was the right response or something like that. Anyway they debunk the fact that there existed, at any time, a version of a script, that maybe was send to them, where Dean says I love you too. This was a wild night, no one slept.

And like. I could make this post longer, but I am planning to, one day, make a huge masterpost with real sources about that because honestly you could write a book about it.

But tl;dr spngate is a theory that misha did film for the last 2 episodes and the changes they made were truly last minute (september 2020), they were going for a canon destiel, possibly human!cas engame, dabb was always on our side, and it's based on stuff like jensen actively hating the ending to the point he made his prequel after 2 years of radio silence, 11 scenes just cut from the finale, misha saying he is going back filming, and people like mark pellegrino saying the last scene he filmed was with alex and misha. also the onion field. why lamp is the theory that cas is represented and symbolized by lamps throughout the show and when dean dances with a Lamp in a drug induced dream instead of, say, some kind of a lady he is actually thinking about cas.

also there are little things like when jensen at an online con before the finale says that oh yes i am wearing a grey flannel but tomorrow? who know it could be blue and green. and we all collectively lost our shit. like when he said he is most excited to "tackle" with cas in season 15. or that "dean has no taste, clearly". WHY WAS YOUR PERMISSION NEEDED JENSEN

there are a lot of things i didn't mention here because i simply can't unflod this whole thing just like that but

but if you understand this picture you might be entitled to financial compensation

#ask #anon #it took me 2 hours to write this #spngate

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aroceu · 3 months ago

Text

some thoughts on leaving a social media website...again

as of 10/16/2024, twitter has announced its intention to implement a new feature into the platform: instead of blocking allowing you to block certain accounts from viewing your profile if it's public, it now just... doesn't do that anymore. it only limits interaction. though this certainly isn't a surprise with musk's twitter rollouts since 2021—when i first saw people start to trickle out—this, in particular, breaks a lot of users boundaries and has prompted many to private their accounts and move to bluesky.

i'm in support of this, btw—the ceo of bsky is strongly opposed to ever running any sort of ads on the site ("won't enshittify the network with ads"), doesn't use any blockchain technology, and has a culture where supplying alt text on images is the norm. your main timeline is in reverse-chronological order (like intended), but there are other separate options to create a custom algorithmic feed for certain types of content, only if you wish to. though bsky is a work in progress, i have high hopes for what it can be in the future: that is, usable, practical, and more reminiscent of what it was like when twitter first started, than how twitter currently is.

but despite my love for bluesky, i won't spend too much time glazing yet another microblogging platform. instead, i'm here to ponder the concept of social media: why we have it, why we use it, and why these moves happen in the first place. people have been trickling in and out of twitter ever since the richest and evilest man in the world took possession of it; especially in a fandom sense, there's been a back and forth between twitter and tumblr due to tumblr's former porn ban, as well. we all have principles and morals that guide the decisions we make, including what websites we decide to use. they speak to a pattern of not only our culture as people at any given time—but how these platforms have the power to implement these changes whenever they want. and we, as individuals, must make decisions both based on those principles, but also our desires to fit in.

i'll start off by saying this—eventually i'm going to start talking about what social media means for creatives. but there is in fact an extremely well-written article about this already that goes into more detail. if you're more interested in that, let me direct you there first: R U AN ARTIST ON SOCIAL MEDIA??? by omoulo

with that out of the way, let's talk about me, shall we?

i got onto the internet through geocities—crazy sentence to say now after all these years. of course, i played neopets and flash games like many other kids, but that was mostly through knowing those websites and urls existed, and preserving them in my mind so i could return to them for some mindless minutes of entertainment later. geocities was my first introduction to the creative, user-designed web, so to speak. instead of being a number to interact with a thing that someone else has made—a flash game, a youtube video, a website where you can collect fictional pets—the idea of geocities to me at the time was this idea of participating on the internet. being a part of it. writing whatever i wanted and posting it. sharing the link with others. having others find it and read it too—a part of me, my method of creative self-expression, whatever i desired to write and post on the less than permanent internet.

my best friend at the time was the one who needled me into creating accounts—first an email address, then an AIM, then a myspace, then an IMVU, so on and so forth. i wasn't going out looking for these, and though i'd heard of them before or seen ads of some of these sites, i wasn't interested in actually being on these platforms and making these accounts until my friend told me that i should. call me a people pleaser or easily influenced or whatever; i was 12. but it was through this link sharing, this naivety and ignorance of the vastness of the internet, that allowed me to be fascinated with the world wide web in the first place.

i usually cite quizilla as my first "fandom" website, because it was—but it wasn't because i found it by accident. it wasn't that i googled it or looked for a personality test and stumbled upon it. no, it's because i was chatting with a friend on AIM, and she had found some crazy chain letter story and shared it to me for how absurd it was, and sent me the link. it was on quizilla.

literally the moment i clicked that link changed my life forever. even though i read the crazy story, i also clicked on the username of the person who posted it, out of curiosity. that person had jonas brothers fanfics on their quizilla profile, of all things, which led me into an obsession with the jonas brothers in the 2 years that followed. through that link—that account—that platform—i got a lot more interested in writing, webdesign, and what it meant to be on the internet, not just as a numbered participant, but also as someone with an imagination, who finds fulfillment in creative expression. i wrote the longest thing i'd ever written in that time (30k of a self-insert, but we won't go into that), began to experiment with css and website design, and participated, sharing stuff that i thought was interesting or fun, worth 5 minutes of anyone's time.

the internet wasn't just about being a place where my presence didn't matter anymore—it became a medium of self-expression. more than that, it became a place where i could meet and socialize with people, especially as i developed avpd in my high school years.

the internet wasn't always like this. right now, when we talk about the internet, we don't talk about the random websites we find, the links we stumble upon. (i have an entire website dedicated to those for me, though.) the games we spend hours playing, by ourselves, without interacting with others. random personality tests, or just simply the news. we talk about google, but in the same way we talk about facebook, or even twitter. it's a verb; it's omnipresent; it exists within the context of our internet culture, but becomes meaningless outside of it. it's not to say it doesn't have meaning—but that the language we use represents our relationship with it, this assumed normalcy. this assumed dependence.

i bring up my own history because as young as i feel compared to many of my older internet friends, and how late to the game i always felt—i was there. i was there on the internet before twitter (since 2009), tumblr (since 2010), facebook (i lied about my age), bluesky now, and whatever will come in the future. i was there when people were saying that the internet was still being written; when websites were made with tables (eugh); when email was the primary way to connect with others, because irc was for nerds and nothing else had been invented yet.

i'm a big advocate for not looking at the past with rose colored glasses and getting caught up in nostalgia and greener grass. i believe that technology is not inherently harmful or bad—it creates more options for accessibility, especially for those who are disabled. and even outside of that, it allows us to learn about more people, communicate with others with a few keystrokes, and form relationships that we otherwise would never get to have. i don't want this to seem like i'm saying "man remember how good the internet used to be?" because i'm not—i believe that as things change, there are benefits as much as there are hindrances.

of course, it bears saying that the primary hindrance—of current twitter, of many platforms over the years, and the internet with increasing recency—is corporations. big money interests. capitalism.

it's why we get so tired of ads—it's why ads exist in the first place. it's why these social media platforms that used to feel like they were made by the same people who would use them (livejournal, youtube, twitter) have suddenly become these soulless impersonal websites. it becomes more obvious that they want you to use them more because they sell you on exclusivity and visual minimalism, rather than because that's where your friends are, and you have this unique way to express yourself.

in fact, i'll say this: the first time i learned about facebook when i was too young to use it, i was not impressed. i had a myspace at the time that i had dolled up to make pretty with sparkly gifs and obnoxious colors and weird fonts. when i saw how boring and samey everyone's facebook profile page was, i was like, what's the point? sure i could talk to my classmates and random other people in my life that i didn't really care about, but what about making myself different from others? what about my creative expression? what about having an account that makes me look unique, instead of blending in with everyone else?

and so here i am nearly two decades later pondering about the use of social media, our individuality as well as our collective interests, and how the internet has changed so much, both in itself and how it affects us, in that time.

i'm here because i want to talk to my friends and meet new people with common interests and get excited about them. i don't want to feel left out, but that's a normal experience—outside of fomo, it is in our core to connect with others. it's the whole meaning of everything. it's why i even made an email in the first place, in my basement with my best friend, secretly setting up a yahoo account because she wanted another way to talk to me, and i wanted another way to talk to her. it's why people have been leaving twitter little by little for another site—the same site as many others, because that's where all their friends are. whether it's bsky or mastodon or misskey or just back here on tumblr, we're here not just because of our desire for community, but even as simple as our desire for a bond, a relationship with another human being. to me, that is how "social media" is defined—a medium through which we socialize because of this innate desire.

and yet, of course the enshittification and corporatification makes this more difficult for us, in ways more than one. because the fact is that as we (as people) became better at using the internet, finished writing it, and understood it—psychologically and sociologically—so did the corporations. or advertisers, you take your pick. we, the everypeople who use the internet as means to fulfill our social and other self-indulgent desires, are not the only people here. as with many things else in the world, the internet turned from an unpredictable but fun mess of us figuring shit out as we went along, into a product designed to keep us using it and engaging with it more, so some rich people can put even more money into their pockets. it's why twitter is the way it is now; even why tumblr is the way it is. why social media has become about "content creation" and "small businesses." why it feels like, every day, we see more ads and AI generated bullshit, as a little bit of the original soul of the internet gets sucked away day by day.

but even there, i don't want to come across as cynical or world-weary. though i believe this to be true, i don't think it says anything about our lack of agency, or our lack of innate humanity. instead, i believe that this means, at least on the individual level, that we should think more about not only what we're doing on the internet, but why we're doing it. how we're doing it. are we here because we're addicted? or is there something we're getting out of it? sure, many websites now have more addictive UI and algorithms that tell the receptors of our brain to return to them because we were getting so much dopamine from them earlier. but i also wouldn't necessarily argue that the only solution to this is to, then, go offline.

i have many friends who've elected to depart social media but stay online—friends who i met through website building, to be fair, but that's one of my main points. i already wrote a manifesto on my love letter to the personal website; but the tl;dr is this:

the internet is not evil, it is not good, it is just a form. if we desire to express ourselves and socialize with others in this space, it does not have to be just about social media, and creating a new account on a new website every time people move. instead, we have personhood—we have individuality, we have agency. we have the ability to build our own websites, no matter how shitty or times new roman comic sansy or color clashy or sometimes inaccessible they can be. regardless of all these seeming impractical setbacks though, it does not absolve us of that ability to do whatever we want on the internet. and it also bears saying that websites, both the personal and impersonal, can change over time, for better or worse.

i am a huge proponent for people making their own personal websites. it makes me so so happy that neocities is gaining popularity, mostly because i love seeing people try their own hand at making a website for themselves, a new form of self-expression. i won't go into too much detail on this because i've already said everything i want to say about it (see above), but if you take away anything from this post, let it be this: consider making a personal website, a corner of the internet, for yourself, by yourself. not just because you want people to engage with it, or because you want to curate to an algorithm or an artistic/fannish trend. not because you want the things you make to gain traction, to get bigger numbers without considering the people behind those numbers, as soon as possible.

do it because you want to. because you have to. because you think it's cool, and because it's you. people may find it and judge it; but they may like it as well. the more unique and authentic and weird we are with each other, the more we are able to appreciate each other for who we really are. the internet is one of many places we can do this.

i don't really see these forms of self-expression separate from social media, but i do see social media separate from it. to me, social media is a vehicle to strengthen those connections, those relationships, much like DMs and IRCs; but it is not the be-all, end all of the internet. it's only a small part of it. not everything is permanent on the internet; but everything that ever has been online is a microcosm of the human experience, whether it's an old cloudflare site or twitter dot com in 2010.

our experiences on the internet are not about corporate interests. it's about using limewire to download pirate music, sharing random links we find, building a design that may not be practical or universally appealing but still represents a form of individuality. when i think of how the internet has grown, i don't think about what it means for companies or advertisers or what meetings must go on to get people like me to keep using it—i think about remembering the difference between addicting games dot com and addicted games dot com, clicking links on websites to find even more websites, sitting at the family computer and deciding if i wanted to spend hours on neopets or that one willy wonka flash game i grinded like several hours on one night when i was 7. i think about what it's always meant to me, because the internet was not always a centralized place where i was going on the same website every day. the rise of internet centralization to the point that it's become expected, the norm, the primary way any of us to be online, is not inherently a bad thing—but i wouldn't say it's a universal good, either, when the internet is a wide and vast space, and can be so much more than that.

because the one thing that remains throughout the years is our agency and choice. we still have the ability to make the internet what we want it to be, or at least a corner of it, something separate from the corporations, the enshittification, economically researched user interfaces and experiences, the advertisements, the "like and share so the algorithm boosts me more." there's still a point to it all without the money, and without twitter. and it's both our desire for creativity and self-expression, as well as our intrinsic bonds with each other. despite it all, it's about our humanity.

as the internet continues to grow, so do we. nevertheless, the importance of our humanity, and retaining it, will remain. oftentimes it is up to us to remind ourselves of that.

links here, for access:

Bluesky CEO Jay Graber Says She Won’t ‘Enshittify the Network With Ads’

R U AN ARTIST ON SOCIAL MEDIA??? by omoulo

links @ kingdra.net (my links, like bookmarks)

A manifesto of sorts; or, my love letter to the personal website by me

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lo-sulci · 1 year ago

Note

What are heaven will be mine & coquette dragoon?

oh my goodness, thank you for asking!! the short answer: they are incredibly good visual novels that I highly recommend, especially if you're a fan of mecha, sci-fi, great world building, yuri, and generally just amazing art created by transfems

long answer:

heaven will be mine (aside from being where I got my url) is the second VN made by worst girls games, best known for their first outing, we know the devil (also an absolutely amazing game). hwbm tends to ask a bit more from the reader than its predecessor- while wktd almost exclusively featured three characters and dealt with rather plainly stated themes of alienation, loneliness, and religious trauma, hwbm presents a setting cloaked in metaphor where human will literally shapes the universe and psychic mech pilots read spacetime like a narrative.

the cast is bigger, with the three routes allowing insight into each of the three main girls in addition to members of the factions they belong to, all in service of a beautiful story about queer people connecting with each other and finding/making their place in a world that would want to deny them their happiness (and a lot of other things, but I'm simplifying some here). begging to be replayed over and over, i've had different characters and details stick out every time ive played through the game, while also gaining a deeper understanding of and appreciation for hwbm's characters and setting. I've loved hwbm and wktd for years and expect I will for years and years to come, which, incidentally, is why I got a pair of tattoos based on these games LMAO. in other words: they're fucking fantastic and hit like few other things out there, imo

coquette dragoon is one of those other things, because holy shit does it excel at hitting incredibly specific and relatable emotional beats that are liable to absolutely tear you apart. created by ivy burgeroise, who (by her own fantastic description) makes art for sad perverts, coquette takes place during a seemingly endless war between the lilac fleet and the duchy of lucia, two spacefaring societies inhabited by animal people who have very differing opinions on magic.

focusing (so far) on xiomara rosales of the lilac and lady honey rose of the duchy, coquette explores painfully human stories from both sides of the war. (to that point, I'd be remiss if I didn't advise you to look out for the content warnings- coquette gets into some very heavy stuff and speaks about it very frankly and honestly, which is to its credit imo but i also understand that that is not something that everyone is in a space to deal with.) more than anything else, I feel, coquette is a work that puts words to feelings that you'd never before been able to describe, and, through the vulnerability of its author in making something so emotionally honest, makes me want to be more openly and happily myself. all of this in a story that examines war, exploitation, and the societal structures that prop them up, among many, many, many other things. I could keep talking in circles gushing about it, because I am so so obsessed with what's been released so far and so indescribably excited to see how it progresses in the future, but to keep myself from going on for too too long i'll cap this off with a tweet about coquette that i frequently think of and is one of the best recommendations I can offer:

OH and also coquette has wibbleburger, which, as we all know, is your favorite

#(the joke is that wibbleburger's slogan is ''it's your favorite'' i am not arbitrarily deciding what is or isn't your favorite)#anyways. i dont know how else to say this but theyre both absurdly good and make me cry a bunch #heaven will be mine #hwbm #coquette dragoon

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torashisama · 1 year ago

Text

WoT 207 ''Daes Dae'mar'': A detailed theory-analysis

DISCLAIMER :

This explanation is a detailed one. It is a deep dive into the season taking into account the point of view of all the relevant protagonists and antagonists of the game of houses that took place in Cairhien before our eyes in S2E07.Therefore, It's seemingly endless. If you don't enjoy reading or simply does not want to take the time to read, listen and watch all of it. You can check the following links to find the initial (shorter and less detailed, also outdated but still relevant) version of this explanation:

FOREWORD :

Excuse any eye piercing mistakes I might make or clunky phrasings you might notice, I'm French and ADHD's a bitch.

I've seen a lot of confusion about how Lan figured out about Moiraine. So, I analysed his POV throughout the season and those of the relevant characters in all of this so that it's clear for everyone as understanding part 1 is the central and fundmental part of this theory. It would be best for everyone, if there was no confusion.

PS: THE SCENES ARE IN HYPERLINKS FORMS BECAUSE I CAN'T PUT MOST THAN 1 VID PER POST, also forget about the backlinks. I forgot that the url would change if I went back to the different scenes after posting so that it'll stay like this but they won't work. ( no even sure they'll be necessary, i added them in case it was, so it'ss not an issue)

Let's theorise now, shall we ?

Part 1. Lan's and other relevant characters point of views throughout the season

E01 : A taste of Solitude

Here, his point of view is not important as it's mostly about how the bond being severed for the last 6 months affected him. What we can still point out from this episode is that at the beginning, Moiraine finally understands what the broken piece of Cuendillar at the Eye of The World meant. She understand thanks to the poem that was written on the back of the one that Bayle had, that all this time Ishamael was freed not defeated.

And that, at the end, when she first tried to leave without Lan, they ended up getting hurt and almost dying then getting rescued from the Fades who were following Bayle Domon by Verin and Tomas. ( (educated guess thanks to E08)Lanfear used him to get to Mo trough the fades, Moiraine was supposed to die before she had the chance to intervene.)

E02 : Strangers and Friends

After the Fades attack, Moiraine and Lan have been healed.

She's cold and leaving for the "docks", Verin tells her that Adeleas and her will accompany her and suggests that she goes to the White Tower first. She agrees. Later, at night, seated around a campfire listening to Verin, Adeleas and Tomas reminisce about their youth, Lan and Moiraine gets to do the same and remembers the first time they met each other. Sometime after, it's time for them to say goodbye and go their separate ways. Lan, while Moiraine is distracted, searches her saddle in which he finds a worn out piece of paper that is laced into what appears to be a thin thread of leather, before he can take a look at it, Moiraine comes back and he hides his findings in his cloak. They talk.

"I should have sensed the Fades were coming. I should have… I'm sorry. "

"Do you know when I actually decided you'd be my Warder?"

[…]

"You'll go to the Tower and I'll continue alone."

[…]

"We didn't defeat the Dark One, we set his strongest lieutenant free. The Forsaken are 3000 years old. They're the strongest channelers that ever lived, and Ishamael may be waking the others. What they can do with the One Power make the Aes Sedai look like tavern magicians conjuring birds from their sleeves. I mean, he cut me off with a flick of his wrist."

"But it takes eight Aes Sedai to cut someone off. Alone, he couldn't, no matter how…"

"You have no conception of the power they wield. "

"Well, then tell me.You and I walk this path together. […]"

"We've never walked this path together. You've never seen the forest for the trees because I have never shown it to you."

"You can't push me away."

"Rand's alive."

"No. You said he was dead."

"You assumed."

[…]

"I took an oath to defend you. "

"And without the bond, you're unable to fulfil that oath."

"I'm still your Warder.""

"No, you failed me.""

[…]

"I am not letting you walk away from me again."

"I know. Alanna will see you to the Tower. I'll have her take your bond by force if I must."

Lan from his last conversation with Moiraine before Siuan, Alanna, Maksim and Ihvon becomes relevant factors learns that :

He had been chosen as her warder because she thought "he'll ultimately will be fine if I die"

She wants to leaves him behind again

They did not defeat the Dark One at the Eye but only made things worse by releasing his strongest lieutenant, a forsaken: Ishamael a.k.a Ishy.

Ishamael is most likely than not on a quest to release the other ones.

The forsaken are so much more stronger than the Aes Sedai that the difference is hilarious to think about.

Ishy apparently stilled her by himself.

Mo's betrayed his trust for the last 6 months by lying the Aes Sedai way ( purposefully misleading him) about Rand's death.

She thinks that he failed her and isn't her warder anymore.

She never thought of him as her equal.

She'd betray his trust again by letting Alanna take his bond by force (violate him) so that he'd let her leave alone on her suicide mission.

E03: What Might Be

This episode is unusable as Lan only appears as a part of Nynaeve's trial in the arches. However, we can still count the day or days passing in this episode to try and know how long it's been since Moiraine and Lan have been separated.

I've found that it's only been a day since they left each other by the end of episode 3.

E04: Daughter of the Night

When we first see Lan again since he's been forced to leave with Alanna, He's already been 2 days and 1 night away from Moiraine. This episode will be the 3rd day and 2nd night.

During the day, he's with Alanna and instead of heading straight back for the Tower they pay a visit to Alanna's family.

He eats with them ( lunch ) then he leaves the table to go take a piss, he expected Maksim or Ihvon as before but this time it's Alanna that came to see him. They talk.

[…]

"a warm memory. Something worth living for. And at that point… "

"So we're going to skip all of that.,I don't think you're gonna kill yourself. Your bond wasn't ripped from you. She took it. So have you decided what you're going to do now?"

"Have I worn out my welcome? "

"The three of us, we are going back to the Tower tomorrow. Will you come with us?"

[…]

"I wish you could've known Moiraine before. "

"Before what? "

"Something happened to her. About years ago now. A year or two before she bonded you. One day she was simply… changed. The way water becomes ice, and you look at it and wonder how it was ever water before. "

"Was she happier, then?"

"I don't know. I don't know if she's ever been happy. "

Later during the day, in the afternoon, he talks with Maksim.

[…]

"Moiraine has left the bond masked for… the last six months or so."

"I thought I was the only Warder who could go that long. When Alanna first bonded me, it was miserable for everyone. I didn't like having an audience in my head, and she didn't like the show. So, the three of us talked it through, and we decided that she would mask her bond with me. Except in battle. And bed."

"Does the Tower know about this? "

"Have you ever known a marriage that is exactly the same as another? I know the others will tell you…you can't go back to Moiraine. But I'm proof that you can. If you want to."

And finally, at night he talks with Ihvon.

[…]

"It's something she said. You keep saying it to yourself over and over. A thousand cuts for her one. People don't understand that we quiet ones… are quiet because the conversation's always… playing out in our own heads."

"She said that, all these years… Mm…she never considered me an equal. "

"Of course not. We are not their equals, Lan. We're not supposed to be. An Aes Sedai can… call down lightning, raise mountains. The rest of the world only sees their power. We see their weakness. We remind them that they are not gods."

"I wouldn't think that… Alanna needed a reminder."

"Yeah, well, she knows we want the same thing as her. "

"What's that? "

"The triumph of the Light over the Dark. And dessert after. "

"What about Moiraine? What does she want? "

"Maybe that's the problem. I don't think I know anymore. "

While they're talking, Maksim who was meditating with them but left them alone before they started talking, found the old and worn out piece of paper that Lan previously took from Moiraine. He shows it to Alanna, who reads it and immediately understand what it could mean about Lan and maybe Moiraine too. Is he a dark friend ? Are they dark friends ? Later during the night, while Lan is asleep, Ihvon joins them and they talk it out, outside the house, Ihvon then reads it and they figure out that it's a prophecy in the Old Tongue about a forsaken, specifically about the Daughter of the Night, Lanfear. They're not sure of what to think yet, but they now suspect Lan.

E05: Damane

In this episode we do not follow Lan, Alanna, Ihvon or Maksim. There's is no point of view for them while they're travelling together but we can add 2 nights and a day to the counter. It's been 4 days and 4 nights away from Moiraine and as many days and nights spent with Alanna and her warders for Lan. However, we do get Verin's point of view.

After just arriving at the Tower, she asked after Nynaeve and Egwene but it turned out that they were nowhere to be found. Not in their rooms, not doing chores or in class and somehow, it was the same for the Daughter-heir of Andor, Elayne. They seemed to have disappeared so she went to see Sheriam Sedai, the current Mistress of Novices to try and understand where they could have vanished.

[…]

"Why, Verin Sedai. I was unaware you'd be visiting us."

[…]

"Uh, what can I do for you, Sister?"

"I was hoping to have a word with two of the girls in your care, Egwene al'Vere and Nynaeve al'Meara. Do you know where I might find them?"

"Uh, they are likely busy doing their chores. "

"In fact, they aren't. Nor are they in their class, nor in their rooms. And, um, also the Daughter-Heir of Andor is nowhere to be found."

"Is it possible they may have left Tower grounds?"

"The Daughter-Heir? It's worth taking a look, don't you think? "

"Oh. Uh… Oh, goodness, yes. Here it is. A visit to Elayne's home in Caemlyn. The three were signed out just the other day."

"That seems worth remembering. "

"It is. I, um…I don't know how it slipped my mind, frankly."

"It's quite unusual".

"That it is."

[…]

"Oh, yeah, I have another question for you. I was in the library asking after a book, Meditations on the Kindling Flame? Oh, yes, I've been meaning to return it. It's in my room, actually. Do you need it? Just for a short passage on the Amyrlin Tetsuan, uh… if you could. "

Verin went to the library before going to Sheriam and asks Nomy and Yassica about the "new very powerful Novices".

We don't actually see this happening, but since she went to the tower knowing about Moiraine's adopted kids and particularly about Rand, she must have wanted to meet them as opposed to being able to meet the Dragon Reborn himself ( being bothered by her insatiable curiosity again). She learns that they are nowhere to be found, knowing what link they might have with the Dragon Reborn, she finds suspicious that just after Moiraine got attacked by 3 Fades and went looking for the Dragon Reborn, again, that her girls would appear to have left tower grounds with no one knowing about their departure. With these information in mind, before going to see Sheriam, she takes some precaution to ensure that she discovers the whole truth if for some reason Sheriam was not revealing it all. Knowing all of this, we can deduce that she had the following course of action:

Go to the Library and asks her fellow trusted brown sisters about the girls, after she tells her that it seems like they're not in the tower anymore, She asks them to help if she suspects that Sheriam, might not be telling her the whole truth during their talk.

ask about a book she borrowed and did not return yet, so that they can use it's mention as a signal and use it as a diversion (Meditation on the Kindling Flame).

Look for Ny, Eggy and Elayne

Ask and look around for them

Go to Sheriam and ask about the girls disappearance and determine whether it would be wise to use the backup plan.

Signal to Yassica that they're following the plan, that their conversation is coming to an end and that they'll soon get out of her study.

Distract Sheriam long enough so that Yassica retrieves all of the supposedly useful information.

Meet Yassica to talk about her findings.

Get the names of every Aes Sedai who left the tower in the last few days because it seems that a weave of compulsion was used on Sheriam (so Black Ajah).

Get the prophecies about the DR for Moiraine ? (not sure that she ever did)

Liandrin cross examination

Liandrin successfully fails

[…]

"I, um, I thought you were in Jurene hunting a young man suspected of channeling. "

"Luckily it was nothing."

"Hmm. "

"But… I did… bring back some white asparagus. If you'd like some. It's a delicacy from the village. You can only… "

"Procure them there and only at this time of year. "

"Yes."

[…]

"That's strange. Novices shouldn't be allowed to… "

"Well, they've, uh… they've gone to a name day ceremony in Caemlyn. "

"I'd heard on the road back that a royal envoy going to Caemlyn was attacked south of here. "

"By whom?"

"Uh, a soldier at the inn. He said it was… bandits or Whitecloaks. But if the girls were with them… Come, we must talk to the Keeper immediately. Those girls are worth more than gold itself. Hurry."

Even though her suspicions about Liandrin are at an all time high, I think that she did go with her to go "talk to the Keeper". It's the last time we see her before Cairhien.

E06: Eyes Without Pity

It's been 4 days and 4 nights, Moiraine got to Rand the night before and finally separated him from Lanfear. Defeated and her plans for the Dragon Reborn interrupted.

MOIRANE AND RAND

[…]

Lanfear: "But, if you actually want to work with me… I have one condition. "

Moiraine: "What did she say?"

"I have to go."

"Where? Did she tell you where… "

"No. Away from you. That was her condition. If she sees us together again, she'll kill you".

Lanfear, goes to Liandrin who she's been prying on in the World of Dreams. They talk.

[…]

"Ishamael said he'd freed you, but I…"

"Tell me, why do you work for him? For Ishamael? You hate men. With one exception, it seems."

[…]

"Men hurt us… betray us, and still, we love them. You swore your oaths to keep him alive, but this is not life. "

"I know. "

"He's holding you back. The last tie to the girl you used to be. The girl who was beaten and starved, and forced to marry before she bled. "

"I know. "

"And that's why I'm here, to do what you can't. A gift only one woman can give to another."

[…]

"You swore your oaths to the Dark, not to Ishamael. You cannot take them back. It's impossible. But there are many paths to walk through the night."

(optional but recommended) : Torashi's thoughts about Lanfear and Liandrin

Liandrin ends up switching sides at the end of this conversation. She will now aid Lanfear, not Ishy and Lanfear gives her the task of killing Moiraine (it's the 2nd assassination attempt). She needs to get rid of her but can't kill her herself because she wants Rand to trust her and believe in her and her cause.

Meanwhile, Moiraine is in Cairhien with Rand and at some point she attempts to write a letter in response to her "Dearest Siuan" to update her on the situation and finally tell her the truth about being stilled but she can't. At least, not yet. Only, she did not expect Lan to overtake her.

Lan's point of view (during night 4)

It's night, Lan, Alanna, Maksim and Ihvon are travelling. We don't know where exactly they're going but we can expect them to be going towards the Tower as it was what was planned. All this time spent with them, Lan has been pondering on the idea, that, maybe, Moiraine, really is not stilled but something else. He does not know what but he needs to at least dissipate his doubts. On the other side, Alanna, Maksim and Ihvon still suspects Lan of being a Dark Friend. During their trip, they purposefully choose to stop at a Forsaken temple to observe his behavior and judge him. Lan having these doubts in the back of his mind, wants to get to the Amyrlin seat, Siuan Sanche, who happens to be Moiraine's secret wife. He needs more information on the forsaken and needs to know where to find Siuan, so that she can help him dissipate his doubts ( he understands the old tongue- he understood what Ihvon meant by "Blood calls blood") and help him find how to help Moiraine.

Alanna : "Here's as good a place to stop as any. I'm dying for some tea."

Lan: "This is a temple to the Forsaken. Interesting choice."

Maksim: "Shelter's shelter. "

Lan: "We'll need the Amyrlin's permission for me to return to the Tower. Moiraine's banishment applies to me until our bond is formally removed from Tower records."

Alanna: "The Amyrlin won't be back for another few days yet. She's returning from a visit to Caemlyn."

Lan: "Forsaken. Do you believe they had powers the Aes Sedai have lost? Weaves this Age has forgotten?"

Ihvon: "They were the generals of the Dark One's army. The things they did, our Aes Sedai would never even consider."

Alanna: "What you're willing to do changes depending on what you're faced with."

[sometime later Alanna, Maksim and Ihvon are supposed to be distracted, having fun in their tent. Lan attempts to leave but they were watching him all along. He's cornerded by Ihvon and Maksim then trapped in the One Power by Alanna.]

Maksim : "It's rude to leave while your friends are sleeping."

Ihvon: "Ruder still to use your weapon against them."

Lan: "I don't want to fight you. "

Maksim: Rejection's a relatively new experience. You'll have to forgive me for asking, but… where are you going, old friend?

Lan : That is my business.

[…]

Alanna: "The Amyrlin did not banish you from Tar Valon. You know that. You wanted me to tell you where she is. Why?"

Lan: "I need to find her."

Alanna: "What do you want from Siuan Sanche ?"

Alanna: "You will tell us the truth, al'Lan Mandragoran. We will kill you were you stand if you don't."

Lan: "We found the Dragon Reborn."

[Lan goes to Siuan to tell her the truth about her wife, so that she can help him check whether he was right to doubt a forsaken's ability to still someone alone and help her.]

It's the last time we see them before the new day starts. They had all night to talk to each other, research (if needed) and come up with a plan.

DURING DAY 5

-MORNING

Lan is preventing Rand from leaving to go to Falme, alone, without Moiraine. He's accompanied by Alanna, Maksim and Ihvon.

Moiraine sends Jonas to give a letter to a trusted sister of hers of the Blue Ajah so that she can "get it where it needs to go" (To Siuan I suppose). She apologises to Barthy and he hugs her, they're interrupted by Anvaere.

"The Amyrlin Seat is here, in Cairhien, with 14 Aes Sedai, and she's demanded an audience with you."

Liandrin's in Cairhien, thanks to her, we know that Siuan summoned them without disclosing why.

"The last time the Amyrlin Seat called 14 sisters to meet with her in Cairhien, we installed a new king on the Sun Throne."

"Well, maybe this Amyrlin is a little more frivolous daughter."

"Hmm. "

"We'll have to wait and see."

In this part, we learned that :

Lan was suspicious from the moment that he learned how Moiraine got stilled by Ishy.

He doubted what his next step should be and thanks to Ihvon and Maksim, he knew that he had to get back and COULD go back to Moiraine.

He needed to get to Siuan before so that she could help him get back to Moraine and check whether he could have been right or not about her not being stilled.

He told Alanna about Rand and never disclosed that Moiraine could not channel or that Siuan and her were working together or that they are lovers.

He went to see Siuan, they talked and planned an intervention to save Moiraine from herself.

Lanfear used Domon to get to Moiraine trough the fades to kill her before she could do anything about Rand. (educated guess when informed by E08)

Lanfear rallied Liandrin to her cause and tasked her to take care of Moiraine for her. (educated guess when informed by E08)

Verin now knows about the dragon and is going to the Tower to look for prophecies about the dragon for Moiraine.

Verin suspected Liandrin of being Black Ajah and of being able to use the weave of compulsion and left with her to "go see the keeper"

Siuan, Lan, Alanna, Ihvon and Maksim went to Cairhien

Siuan summoned 14 Aes Sedai there but did not disclose the reason why and demanded an audience with Moiraine

Lan prevented Rand from leaving without Moiraine for Falme accompanied by Alanna, Ihvon and Maksim.

Part 2. Liuan : Their off screen talk

Thanks to part 1, we can be assured that Siuan was the one who showed up at Cairhien and not the Amyrlin Seat. It was about Moiraine not the mission or Rand. They were secondary motives and afterthoughts. All that mattered when she saw Lan, was Moiraine. It would have been five days since she answered to Moiraine from their previous letter and she still did not have an answer, so she was already worried. In E06, when Moiraine attempts to write to Siuan before Barthy interrups her. It either was the first letter from E01 or a follow up one that Siuan sent out of worry. Lan showing up alone, probably was horrifying. As for Lan, is sole purpose and worry from the night Moiraine got "stilled" and they lost their bond was to help Moiraine, support her, be close to her again. Basically as he said:

Moiraine: "I don't know what you think you'll gain from this."

Lan: "Hopefully, everything we've lost."

Now onto the talk.

credit: @aflawedfashion

What we can deduce from E07 and the previous episodes we just deep dived into is that Lan told her more than she had just been stilled. He confirms that he went to Siuan doubtful near the end of episode 7 when he says :

"It never made sense to me, Moiraine. What you're feeling? Ishamael didn't still you. Not even a Forsaken could do that alone. It is a shield that he's tied off, which means… "

scene

He just told her what he tried to say from E02 (except this time he knows what it is if not stilling and how to fix it), but she wouldn't listen to him.

scene

So, between Liuan this is what he must have said:

Siuan, At the eye of the world, Moiraine actually fought a forsaken, he was not defeated.

She was mistaken, a few days ago she realised that we released him. We were wrong, we,lost at the eye of the world.

She's lost her ability to touch the source but she said that Ishamael stilled her alone. I don't think she's been stilled, Verin Sedai said that most stilled women ended up dying and that her behavior was not aligning with what's usually expected. After she told me that he stilled her alone I strongly doubted that she really was, I thought maybe it was something else, I told her but she brushed me off. Are they really that strong ? Can a forsaken really still someone alone ?

She's been casting me out for the last six months so I only learned about all of it 4 nights ago when she left me behind to go find Rand. He wasn't with us, she let me assume he died and let him leave.

She forced me to stay back with Alanna Sedai and her warders by threatening me of letting her take my bond by force. They were to take me back to the tower but before Moiraine left me I took a poem she had in her saddle, it was about Lanfear. Ishamael released her, Alanna Sedai found it and cornered me earlier as I was trying to get to you to confront me about it. She wouldn't let me go, she thought that I was to harm you and a dark friend, she was ready to kill me so I had to tell her about the dragon reborn so that she'd let me go.

Lan told her and knew everything she needed to know to be able to help her wife as she's always been doing. Only, this time, Moiraine would have to stay out of the loop. She's emotionally unstable and is not in a place where she could allow herself to think of such a possibility anymore, giving her hope for no reason wouldn't make for anything good.

optional but recommended : Thoughts about why Liuan decided to keep Moiraine out of the loop

We now wonder, what did they plan ?

Part 3. Liuan : The Plan

Before diving into this part, we need to know what might have happened between them beside their talk.

What can we deduce happened ?

Lan tells her everything and Siuan comes up with the plan and tells him what he'll have to do and they'll obviously use Rand as a pretext (well, Siuan will).

(I used to think that she could have not know as soon as he'd tell her since Moiraine herself did not think that a Forsaken wouldn't be able to do that but after further research and taking into account the fact that Lan immediately suspected it and that Moiraine judgement was clouded by her emotions, I now think that Siuan knew as soon as he told her. Anyway, whether she needed to check or not they had their plan which was not about the dragon in case you forgot but about Moiraine.)

Now, onto the discussed plan:

Siuan explains :

Lan you'll :

Get the boy, try to make him understand that he'll be fine but do not tell him the truth, we can't trust that he won't talk to Moiraine or that nobody will spy on you. I'll meet him and try and do the same and use our meeting as my main motive for coming to Cairhien, also, we'll need him to unshield her as I can't see Saidin (men half of the One power).

You'll check with Logain to know if we were right about her being shielded, we have to be sure before attempting anything.

Check if she ever wanted to kill herself if you have the chance.

Everything may not go as planned so be ready not to reveal that there's more than me meeting the boy and follow along with whatever I do.

This is what you'll have to do to un-shield her if we were right

If we get attacked you'll take her there. This will be our escape route in case we ever need it.

As for Alanna and her warders they'll be on the look out.

Most importantly, keep her safe, be careful and stand by her.

Siuan

I'll

Summon 14 Aes sedais and take them with me to Cairhien since we have 2 Forsaken on the loose trying to get him, they'll be useful in case we get attacked.

Meet and talk to Moiraine and distract her from what you'll be doing.

Meet the boy and try to make him understand that i'm on his side.

Alanna, Maksim and Ihvon

Look out for the Forsaken

Alert

Backup

Goals

The goal is to help Moiraine and that is it, probably discuss their next course of action regarding the plan since she might be stilled (which she can do with no problem since she doesn't know for sure that she isn't). As i've stated before, Rand and the mission in this case were the after thoughts as it is Siuan that decided to go to Cairhien and not the Amyrlin Seat.

Moiraine: "Siuan said you were leaving. Where were you going? "

(While they're the same person, they are not the same characters, Siuan isn't the Amyrlin Seat and the Amyrlin Seat is not Siuan but only a part of her, I thought the show made it clear enough but I'm reminding you all again anyway as i've seen that a lot (even other theorist and siuaraine shippers) seems to think that Siuan really went to Cairhien to take Rand away from Mo, cage him and stuff as if they did not show us that it simply was not how it worked between them and that she simply was not her position at all. Most misunderstood and underappreciated character sincerely (those who voted Hopper, i'm looking at y'all). Anyway, SHE IS NOT THE AMYRLIN SEAT AND THE AMYRLIN SEAT IS NOT SIUAN BUT ONLY A PART OF HER.)

So, Siuan shielding and putting Rand in a cell was improvised as he was leaving without Moiraine knowing and she needed him to be around anyway.

Daes dae'Mar : The Game of Houses, Liuan's plan put into practice

House Sanche-Mandragoran

Siuaraine meeting in the Sun Palace

Goals :

Meet and talk to Moiraine and distract her from what Lan will be doing.

Use meeting Rand as her main motive for coming to Cairhien.

[MOIRAINE] Mother. [SIUAN] Leave us, Daughter. She's no threat to me. [LEANE] I'll be right outside, Mother. [SIUAN] Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me you'd been stilled? Six months of letters, Moiraine. And not one word about this…this violation. [MOIRAINE] Well, what else did Lan tell you?

[MOIRAINE] That you threatened to let Alanna take his bond without his permission. You know he told her. That you found the Dragon. (half truth and deflection, she knew about the forsaken and talks about it later,)

[MOIRAINE] Why are you here, Siuan?

[SIUAN] I've let you carry this burden for years, love. You've given everything for it. From here on out, I row beside you. ( half truth, because she also was there to help Lan check her powers)

Moiraine: [SCOFFS] (not convinced)[gets hypnotised by Siuan's touch]

[SIUAN] It's time I met Rand al'Thor. (deflection)

scene

Lan takes Rand and prepare him to meet Siuan

Goals:

Prepare him to meet Siuan :

make him understand without telling him the truth that Siuan is on his side. Even though she's the Amyrlin. ( for the reason mentioned before but also, it's Cairhien)

[LAN] Tuck in your shirt. [RAND] What does the Amyrlin Seat want from me? Is this a trial? I saw what she did to the last man who called himself Dragon. (scared) [LAN] Is that why you ran from the Eye of the World? Why you hid here? (wonders why he left and questions if it was because he was afraid about sharing Logain's fate) [RAND] I left to protect the people I love. (angrily answers, offended by the assumption) [LAN] Don't be so selfish. You were born to protect this world. Every person in it. Not just the ones you love. (reminds him of his responsabilities as the Dragon Reborn)

Listen to me. The Amyrlin's a smart woman. She's a good woman. (reassures him about Siuan) And she comes from humbler beginnings than you. (she's not what she seems) [RAND] Does Moiraine know you're doing this? (asks about the only Aes Sedai he kind of trust) [LAN] There's one rule above all others for being a man. Whatever comes, you face it on your feet. ( ignores and teach him what his answer should be to the fear he's currently feeling)

Put this on. Give me your blade.

Heron Dips the Wing. You've been learning sword forms. (proud uncle moment) [RAND] I've learned a couple of things. [LAN] Keep the sword. (let him keep his sword as he is still stressed)

If the Amyrlin's afraid of you, it won't be for a sword. (build his confidence up)

If you're going to use one of the forms, use Cat Crosses the Courtyard, keep your back straight, every muscle loose. As if hung from a wire at the top of your head. (teaching moment)

Go. The Amyrlin waits.

scene

Siuan meets Rand while Mo'an are talking

[RAND] As you've summoned me, Mother, so I've come. I stand ready. [SIUAN] Do you now, boy? Lan has prepared you, I see. What else did he tell you? [RAND] That you aren't exactly what you seem. [SIUAN] Most people are not. In this world, it is wise to guard your truths, but not us. Not today. (she won't lie, since she can't but she's going to aes sedai her way out of his questions not to reveal blatlantly that she's on his side) I have questions for you. Answer truthfully.

[LATER]

[RAND] And then what? [SIUAN] You say you've been careful. How many times have you channeled? [RAND] Not many. Not deliberately. [SIUAN] You will continue to channel, as sure as roe makes fish. You can't help it. And if you don't learn to control it, you won't live long enough to go mad. (INFODUMP) [RAND] What kind of a choice is that? (when did she give him a choice exactly, please ?), (ignored question) Dying or going mad and killing everyone I love? (ignored) What if I'm tired of being a spoke in the Wheel? (acknowledged) [SIUAN] You're not a spoke, boy. You are the water that turns the Wheel itself or dashes it to pieces. (answers)

Do you know what Tower law says the Amyrlin must do if she finds the Dragon Reborn? (question and attemps at making him understand) [RAND] Gentle him? [SIUAN] Gentle him? No. How do you fight the Dark One without the One Power?

Some of my Red daughters would want that, I suppose, but… (beware of the reds basically) we are meant to cage you. (teaching, infodumping)

Keep you shielded, channeling only when we want, what we want. And when we go to fight the Last Battle, you will be the greatest weapon in our arsenal. But not our general.

This is not a conversation. (yes it is) You already made your decision. (indeed, 20 years ago dumbass) You made it before you ever met me. (how do you know? she made it looking in your other mom eyes the day you were born and ruined their retirement plans, BEHAVE RAND)

I won't live in your cage. (did she say SHE, would cage you or that the Amyrlin was MEANT to cage you ? she infodumped, you stupid boy)

(she had no other choice but to shield him as he was getting hostile, then Mother got mad, i can't blame her I would have too (actually I did), because how can you be so dense, mistaken and dumb, like why would you think you'd be able to do anything against the Amyrlin Seat, when you know nothing about channeling- je souffle (I sigh), je souffle, je souffle. Il fatigue(he tires).)

scene

Six months you've known what you are, and… you've learned nothing.

Six months! Huh?

She taught you nothing. (she's mad, and it takes a lot to get her to snap according to New spring so leave my girl alone, Mo took the decision alone, said nothing and did teach him nothing also from an objective stand point, she's not necessarily talking about chanelling. She's been over their whole discussion since he pulled a Nynaeve while asking about being tired of being a spoke or whatever )

A single Aes Sedai can handle you like baitfish. ( just an astute and accurate observation made with an iconic fish metaphor)

[SIGHS] (me too)

We would've been so much better off if you were a girl. (i'm sorry not sorry to the men who got butt hurt by this comment but she's right, had it been possible it would have been so much better and it's an objective truth, she basically stated a fact so get over it)

scene

Mo'an talk during Rand and Siuan are talking

Goals:

Check if she ever wanted to kill herself ( symptoms of stilling basically)

Do not to reveal that there's more than Siuan meeting Rand

[MOIRAINE] I don't know what you think you'll gain from this. [LAN] Hopefully, everything we've lost. [MOIRAINE] Leave. I have nothing to say to you. [LAN] I have a question for you. And I hope someday you'll forgive me for asking it. ( a single question huh ?)

After you were stilled by Ishamael, has there been a time… in all these months when you thought about ending it? [MOIRAINE] killing myself?

I read the Tower records. (keep that in mind,take a mental or physical note.) There have only been two women in history who were cut off who didn't. Most did it within the year. [MOIRAINE] No, I didn't. (Rand & Moiraine getting offended by Lan's perfectly reasonable and logical assumption)

Not for one second.

Because I know that protecting Rand, guiding him, that is the only thing that matters. More than me, more than you. More than anything. [LAN] That's what I thought. (happy Lan)

[MOIRAINE] And this whole thing you're doing with Siuan, it puts all of it… the Last Battle,the fate of the world… in jeopardy. (Yes, it's true but do I need to remind her "when have ever followed the rules?" or simply that these two never let her not take care of herself? WHY DID SHE EVEN EXPECT THEM TO CARE ABOUT THE WORLD IF SHE WASN'T FINE ? SUCH A DEPRESSED LOVABLE AND ANNOYING PUFFERFISH).

I apologise for my lack of professionalism,

It will definitely happen again though,you've been warned.

What isn't she telling me? (was not convinced by Siuan earlier, just hypnotised)

You have to trust someone at some point, Moiraine. You can't do this by yourself. You can't. And if it's not going to be me… then I thought it might at least be her. (deflect)

scene

Siuaraine, Mo'an, Liuan fight (+ red haired misbehaving toddler)

Goal:

distract Moiraine so that Lan can do his thing

improvised: shield rand and prevent him from leaving, as he's shown that he's ready to be hostile and harm, he's caged and to be kept shielded by Leane who knows nothing but that she has to shield him.

[SIUAN] Let them through. [MOIRAINE] Release him, Siuan. ( Mo, you don't even know what he did) Now. [SIUAN] No. We tried our way, Moiraine. -> true

And we nearly lost everything. -> true

The Tower's laws have stood for , 3000 years.-> infodumb

It's time we obeyed them. -> it was time from the moment they became accepted, it was already time in their hut when Moiraine was asking when did they EVER followed these rules. [LAN ] This is not what we agreed to. (true but he also remembered that bro was leaving alone when he found him and will stay quiet and follow along from now on)

[MOIRAINE] The Reds will gentle him.

[SIUAN] Not while I hold the Seat. -> true, even if she really wanted to follow the rules, she wouldn't let them.

[MOIRAINE] The Tower is filled with your enemies. -> true, she knows

You're this sure of your power? -> true, and siuan stays quiet because she can't Aes sedai her way out of this one

We each had a task, Siuan.

I was to find the Dragon Reborn. You were to get the Tower ready to support him. Or have you forgotten that day? -> something here snapped in her brain people, Moiraine angered her with this one and she loses her temper ( which is, AGAIN, hard to do according to New spring in case I needed to remind you)

[SIUAN]

Of course I have not forgotten.

But you were supposed to be with him, ready to shield him if he starts to go mad.

Yet here you are, stilled. (still isn't sure and it's what it appears to be so she can say it, and she is pissed)

You can't control him. -> true

You can't guide him. -> true

Can you imagine, Moiraine, if one of the Forsaken got their hands on him? (she gave herself away there, remember in the first meeting when I referenced this ? )

He's no more ready now than he was before you found him. -> true

You left the fate of the world to chance… -> true, she let him leave at the eye when she was not sure of what the fight they just "won" meant + she never told her that he left because she couldn't tell her why she let him leave and there was no other reason than she couldn't protect him anymore from the dark and himself and it was best if he laid low + it meant that telling, and admitting that she'd never touch the source again could be delayed

… for your pride. -> so yes but for those not agreeing with her statement there, we do not care, she just need to believe something to be able to say it. IT DOES NOT MATTER.

Tomorrow, when Queen Galldrian returns, we shall announce him as Dragon here in Cairhien… with Sisters by our side to show he is under our control. -> he's supposed to leave with Moiraine as soon as she's unshielded if they were right, no one knows about Rand but them and those who learned about it this season and it's one of the possible choice they could have made by actually having a conversation about what to do if Moiraine hadn't come in there after Lan told her to trust, ordering Siuan around, wanting to hear nothing else, when she didn't even know why he was shielded (he deserved the time out sincerely.)

Prepare him for what is to come.

I think she was saying this to both of them, and it had a double meaning.

Lan: Still on board, even though things got heated carry on with the plan, just lost my temper. ( would explain why the camera shows him and not Moiraine even though the whole conversation had been only between Siuaraine)

Mo and us: yeah i'm apparently ditching the plan we sacrificed 20 years for, and the one I came up with Lan, last night, without a discussion, just because i'm pissed after I told you her earlier that I was there to support you her. Yes, that is right, this is what is happening.

scene

Since there had been no objection, no attempt at bargaining or anything, just plain old silence. Siuan thought Moiraine had dropped the ball. She let her be, and Moiraine chose to stay with Rand. ( good because she'll still be distracted even though they're mad at each other right now) Had Moiraine been imprisoned too, she wouldn't have been allowed to be in the same cell, and Siuan would have disclosed that she had been stilled to Leane but she did not. Siuan trusted her, still, even though they just had a fight about their kid and knew that she had been Aes sedaying her way out of transparency for months. So,to her everything was mostly going according to plan but then Rand happened and introduced another player to the game that was currently unfolding before our innocent, untrained eyes and unaware minds.

House Lanfear- Al'Thor

Goals:

Get rid of Moiraine

Get Rand to Falme alone

[RAND] What is happening to me? [MOIRAINE] You've been shielded from the One Power. [RAND] Um… it feels… [MOIRAINE] As if you've lost everything you ever were and everything you could possibly be. Don't worry, it's temporary. She has to channel to keep the shield in place, but when it drops, you'll feel yourself again. [MOIRAINE] Siuan said you were leaving. (off-screen first meeting)

Where were you going? [RAND] Falme. Egwene is there. Ishamael has her. [MOIRAINE] Lanfear showed you this in the dream world? [RAND] I know they want me to go there. But why Falme, of all places? [MOIRAINE] The Dragon is supposed to proclaim himself there. "Bannered 'cross the sky in fire." [RAND] They want everyone to know who I am before they try to kill me. If they need me in Falme, then they certainly don't want me being held prisoner by the Amyrlin Seat.

He happened, and Moiraine broke Siuan's trust there once again by indulging in it.

As Justine Juel Gillmer( S1E06 and S2E07 writer) pointed out and explained : Moiraine feels like she lost Rand to Lanfear, operates without a clear path to follow for the first time and is all alone. She focuses only on Rand, nothing else matters (as i've pointed before myself too, during Mo'an's talk). (in the bonus)

So, she does nothing else than what she felt she could do : She stays by his side and tries to win him back. She says nothing,let him and indulges in his tendency to call on Lanfear (the dark) for help, thinking that she would be able to outsmart her even though she knows that she wouldn't have been able to see their interaction in the world of dreams, she trust Rand to give her all of the information that she'd need to know if something was wrong and Rand ends up asking Lanfear. A fair price to pay to gain some of his trust back: trusting each other and only one another and further harming the trust Lanfear made sure they would build while she was away and unaware. Without realising it, she built trust in one of her relationship, while harming one of hers too.

She breaks the trust that Siuan chose to still have in her, even though she knew that she was not in the right head space right now because of the shield, by actually trying to escape when she had dropped the ball earlier.

scene

Meanwhile, Liandrin is working on fulfilling the mission she has been given by Lanfear in episode 6. […]

[LIANDRIN] I remember her at that age. You have the look of her, you know. [BARTHANES] Why are you here, Aes Sedai? [LIANDRIN] To deliver an order. (from Lanfear) [BARTHY] What does our master ask of me? ( he assumed it was from Ishy or the DO) [LIANDRIN] Remove her from the board. [BARTHY] She is my aunt. [LIANDRIN] Exactly. Even she will be unprepared for this. Do it today. She's being held in a cell in the palace. (Lanfear or you got this one wrong Liandrin, she's in there voluntarily.)Oh. And if your mother suspects anything… take care of her, too.

scene

Meanwhile House Lanfear-Al'Thor,

[LANFEAR] You didn't even make it out of the city. ( she knew already) [RAND] I need your help. I'm in a cell in the Sun Palace. The Amyrlin's holding me. [LANFEAR] I know. [RAND] Can you get me out? [LANFEAR] Hmm. Isn't Moiraine with you? Surely she could do something. [RAND] Maybe she will. Maybe I won't need you. [LANFEAR] Oh, I do like it when you try to manipulate me. [RAND] Can you get me out or not, Lanfear?

scene

On the other side,

House Sanche-Mandragoran

Goals:

check with Logain to know if they were right about her being shielded, They have to be sure before attempting anything.

Alanna and her warders will be on the look out.

[ALANNA] Through there. What did he say? Does the Daughter of the Night walk in our world? [MAKSIM] Forsaken. Dragon Reborn. I miss the farm, Alanna. I even miss your cousins. [ALANNA] Come now. Did you expect we would fight the Last Battle against an army of kittens?

[LOGAIN] I would offer you a match, but.. stones is a gentleman's game. Tell your master that I'm still waiting for her to keep her promise. Or you can just run me through with your blade now, save her the trouble. [LAN] I can do better than that. You can see male weaves. What do you see when you look at Moiraine? [LOGAIN] A desperate, lonely woman who has given her life to a cause… beyond her understanding. [LAN] A half a year in an asylum, and you're a madman still. [LOGAIN] Madness is expecting a straight answer from the man you helped lock away. There are weaves on her. From a man. Thousands of strands pulled together, held in place, but nothing being channeled into them. [LAN] How is that possible? [LOGAIN] I don't know, it's just like…

scene

House Lanfear-Al'Thor

[PEOPLE SCREAMING IN BADASS LANFEAR ANNOUNCING HER ARRIVAL]

Meanwhile House Sanche- Mandragoran,

[ALANNA] There's a fIre. In the Foregate. [LOGAIN] The key. [LAN] You think I've forgotten what you did to Kerene and Stepin? You will get this key when they take you back to the White Tower. There are two Brown Sisters that are desperate to study a man who can channel.

[LAN] Go. (to Moiraine) [LANFEAR] 3000 years pass and I'm back to this.

scene

And another player comes in, unexpectedly,

House Damodred

Goals:

Save Moiraine

Save the name of House Damodred

Save herself

Get yourself absolutely adored by the Fandom in one action

[BARTHANES] You're sure my aunt's alone? [SERVANT] As you asked, my lord. And a sedative in her tea. She should be asleep already. [BARTHY]] Good. [SERVANT] Would you like me to open it, Your Grace? [ANVAERE] I didn't think you would do it. [BARTHY] Mother. No. No! No! No. [ANVAERE] Why? In Light's name, why? [BARTHANES] I did it for us. I did it for you, Mother. For our family name. Why do you think that we've risen so far so fast, Mother? I am to be king. And you would throw it all away for what? For-for her? Mother, Moiraine doesn't care about you. She trust no one. She cares about no one. She… She will leave this place, and she will not give us a second thought. [ANVAERE] I know. But there are two things my sister understands better than anyone. The difference between right and wrong, and how much harder it is sometimes to do what is right. [BARTHY] Mother. Mother, please. Mother, please. You can't tell the queen. You can't tell anybody. [BADASS, HEROIC ANVAERE] I already have. [CRYING BARTHY] Mother. Mother. Mother! No! Mother! Mother!

scene

House Lanfear-Al'thor

Goals:

release Rand while Lanfear's being the perfect diversion

give him the map leading to the Waygate.

[VERIN] The city's burning. The Amyrlin requires your strength to protect Cairhien. [LEANE] I've been told to watch the boy. [VERIN] This is an order, Leane Sedai. (from Liandrin or Lanfear?) I'll take his shield. [LEANE] Don't let her get close to you. (still doesn't know Mo is "stilled") [MOIRAINE] You are very clever with your words, Sister. (did not realise that she couldn't have known she'd need help) [VERIN] The Dragon Reborn. I'd say you've spent long enough in Cairhien, wouldn't you?

There's a Waygate hidden in the city. (how did she know she'd need to plan for this from the morning she arrived in Cairhien ? Lanfear or Liandrin but really just Lanfear has if not herself she'd give the order trough Liandrin) [MOIRAINE] That's just a rumor. [VERIN] With a grain of truth. An Ogier Stedding once stood in the inner city center. Cairhien families built right over it. Here. [VERIN] Where will you take him? [MOIRAINE] Falme. Toman Head. [VERIN] "Above Toman's Head shall he proclaim himself bannered 'cross the sky in fire." ( here's the reason you might be looking for if not for compulsion by Liandrin when she followed her to "go see the keeper") You plan to have him declare himself the Dragon Reborn. The Wheel weaves.

scene

House Sanche-Mandragoran

Goals:

If we get attacked you'll take her there. This will be our escape route in case we ever need it.

Alanna: Backup

[LAN] Good work. We'll take him from here to the Waygate. ( did not take the map or hear them speak, Verin and Thomas followed as he had the same destination than the one they had planned for Rand) Just make sure that we're not followed. [ALANNA] You're not alone in this any longer, Sister. But you need to hurry. This city is not safe. I hope you're worth this, boy. Light be with you. [LAN] Let's go.

sceane

Meanwhile, Siuan isn't worried about the dragon reborn being protected by a single abled Aes Sedai when she knows that it probably is one of the Forsaken, she carries out her duty as Aes Sedai and Amyrlin Seat with the utmost calm. She even seemed bored of it for a second. Then again, in the utmost calm and collected manner, she sees the only Aes Sedai supposed to be shielding the boy and doesn't pannick and order that they rush there and find him, NO, she calmly ask who's shielding her son and it's only when she hears Verin's name that she's not okay anymore, suddenly she needs time to process what she just heard and then leave in a rush.

[SIUAN] Link with me. [LEANE] I'm here, Mother. [SIUAN] Who's shielding the boy? [LEANE] Verin Sedai. You… you sent her. [SIUAN] Lead your Sisters and heal the injured. That boy must not leave the city. -> something is wrong I have enemies I did not expect and doubts to clear he mustn't leave before they are cleared. [EXHALES]

All the while, Lan is still oblivious that something is wrong and is just following the plan.

[LAN] It should be somewhere. There. (did not use the map) [MOIRAINE] You'll have to channel into it. Split it open with sheer force if you have to. [LAN] No, he won't. You're going to open it. [MOIRAINE] Just do it. [LAN] Look at Moiraine. With the Source. [MOIRAINE] Lan. [LAN] Not just your eyes. What do you see? [MOIRAINE] Don't. [RAND] It looks like a knot tied together. [MOIRAINE] That's im… It's impossible. (see, this woman really wouldn't allow herself to even think about it, Rand tells her he see them, yet she won't believe it)

[LAN INFODUMPING BECAUSE MOIRAINE IS STILL BEING STUBBORN ABOUT HER "STILLING"] There's a story from the Age of Legends about the Foresaken's powers… a skill that's been lost for thousands of years… to tie off weaves and leave them in place. It never made sense to me, Moiraine. (reminder that it is proof he went to Siuan with doubts about this) What you're feeling? Ishamael didn't still you. Not even a Forsaken could do that alone. It is a shield that he's tied off, which means…

[MOIRAINE] It can be removed. (finally) [LAN] Yes. [RAND] What do I need to do? [LAN] You don't have the skill to untie this knot. You'll have to cut it. [MOIRAINE] I trust you. [LAN] Go on. Cut through it. [MOIRAINE] I feel it. I feel it. Thank you. Thank you. [LAN] I am sorry it took me so long to do my duty.( it took you 4 day and nights but go off king)

scene

House Sanche-Madragoran + House Lanfear-Al'Thor

Siuan arrives, shields Rand as he was super dense and leave Lan alone.

[LAN] Stop! No!

Siuan yeets Lan to the side, she does not have the time to explains and maybe he lied to her too.

[SIUAN] Close the Waygate, Moiraine. Now. -> she needs a proof You lied to me about being stilled. -> the aes sedai way obvi

[MOIRAINE not suprised to see her as she knew they were hiding something from her, and she must have her coming with her Siuan tingle.] No. I cannot. -> ok cool you didn't but you know she doesn't literally mean lie -.- I've been more truthful with you than anyone else. -> this just means that she told her the truth more than to anyone else, not that she told her all of it. Moiraine speaking in codes is tiring sometimes.

[SIUAN reminds her, in an attempt to convice Moiraine to close the Waygate herself. ]

We failed, Moiraine. -> They did fail together At the Eye of the World, you failed. -> She did fail at the eye. The stakes are too high to fail again. -> stating facts

Close the Waygate. -> she asked

[MOIRAINE being the bratty bottom that she is] also where was she going ? SO dramatic i swear, she turns around and start walking to the Waygate as if Siuan was just going to unshield Rand and let her leave because she said no) No. [SIUAN] I don't want to force you.-> but I need and have to know.

You swore to obey me on the Oath Rod. An unbreakable oath, bound by the One Power. -> Moiraine knows , she knows she voices it because she doesn't want to have to use it, feels cornered and is trying to convince and brace herself for whatever will come of it if Moiraine ends up forcing her to use it. A real betrayal or she just violated her wife because of this damned Mission. Both, horrific for her.

Siuan… -> surely Moiraine understood after hearing this what was really going on for Siuan. She doesn't know if she can trust her anymore. For Siuan, surely Moiraine understood why she insisted so much and was ready to do what she never even though about as a possibility or as something that was anything but just wrong ( throwback to Lan's bond in the first suiaraine meeting)

Close it. -> this one feels like she's desperate at this point for her to close it there, not the same intonation at all, she's bracing herself for what is coming. No more feelings, no more asking, no more plea, no more bargaining, she has too know before it's too late, she orders. Even though, that's the intent she puts behind the intonation we can still see it on her face, hear it in her voice, see it in her eyes and in the way she moves.

[SOFTLY] Siuan… -> this one must have felt like a ruse, the same way Moiraine first rejected Siuan's touch because she knew what would happen. The facade would break into pieces and she'd give in. Here, Moiraine softly calling her name, almost like she's begging, after she's been warned, after her herself showed how much she just needed her to at least close it did not feel like something she could allow herself to hear so she cuts her off and the rest is history.

Moiraine Damodred… [MOIRAINE] No, if you have ever loved me, don't do this. [SIUAN] … I command you… … to close the Waygate.

House Lanfer-Al'Thor

[MOIRAINE surprised to even see Lanfear as she thought she escaped having to deal with her, when Verin freed her. I believe that she pieces things together here, not all of it but just enough to understand what she couldn't believe happened to her from Siuan, the last person she'd think would ever do this to her just the moment before she arrived, they did not talk but she understood]

Lanfear.

[LANFEAR LAUGHS]

[MOIRAINE] She's too strong, Siuan. Don't. No. [LANFEAR] I told you the next time I saw you two together, I'd kll her. [RAND] You're not going to touch her. Not if you want my help.

[LANFEAR] Every day you grow more like Lews.

Lucky for you, a broken Amyrlin is more useful to me than a dead one.

[SIUAN] Moiraine, please. (go)

[LAN] Moiraine, please. (come)

Highly recommend you watch this scene in particular

Conclusion

All along Daes Dae'Mar was being played, and we failed to realise that in the current game of the houses we were witnessing, there were 4 houses.

House Lanfear-Al'thor

Lanfear

Verin

Tomas

Rand

Liandrin

Barthanes

House Damodred

Moiraine

Anvaere Damodred (unknowingly)

Siuan

Lan

Alanna, Ihvon & Maksim

House Sanche-Mandragoran

Siuan

Lan

Moiraine Damodred (unknowingly)

Alanna, Ihvon & Maksim

House of The Dragon

Goals: different for each person but utltimately related the Dragon.

Rand Al'thor : leave Cairhien, to go to Falme to free Egwene

Moiraine Damodred : Help Rand, avoid Lanfear.

Siuan Sanche : Help Moiraine, Protect her and Rand from the Forsaken

Al'Lan Mandragoran : Help Moiraine, Protect her from the Forsaken and secondarily Rand.

Alanna Mosvani : Help the dragon reborn/ Moiraine

Ihvon : Help Alanna, the dragon reborn/Moiraine

Maksim : Help Alanna, the dragon reborn/Moiraine

Verin Mathwin : Help fulfill the prophecy

Tomas: Help and assist Verin

The Daugther of the night, Lanfear : Seperate Moiraine and Rand, Kill her, Get Rand to Falme

Liandrin Guirale : Kill Moiraine, Help Lanfear

Barthanes Damodred (unkowingly) : Help his house regain it's lost glory

4 houses playing against each other and for each other at the same time. What went wrong ? Everything. Who won ? No one. What was left of what was before ? Nothing.

I wanted to be a little dramatic. On a more serious note, they all lost and won something, except for Barthanes.So that is all.

To sum it all up, everything that went down with Siuan and Moiraine was genuine and real, Lan and her had a plan all along, everything was going fine until the other players of this game of houses started to place their pawns on the board to try and win the game. In the end, as they were all playing for each other and against each other at the same time no one really won.

On the first board,

Moiraine regained her powers, but still has to deal with Lanfear, Siuan is hurt and in a precarious position for both herself and their mission because she did not listen to Lan and trusted her.

Lan regained Moiraine's trust but Lanfear is still a threat and Siuan.

Rand is still manipulated and a pawn in someone else's game, no matter how much he thought he wasn't anymore because of Lanfear.

Siuan is heart broken that she had to do this to Moiraine, even though her plan still worked and Moiraine regained her powers which is a win but then again did she really win, when she's lying on the floor, hurt and surrounded by enemies, even in the tower, where she was supposed to be at her safest and strongest ?

Lanfear gets Rand but Moiraine isn't dead and she even have to deal with Lan now, as she said in E08, they're dead weight.

On the second board,

Liandrin being Black Ajah is known because of Elayne, Eggy and Nynaeve but now, even Anvaere.

Verin is black ajah and known ( or least suspected to be) because of Siuan (thanks to Leane), because she knows Verin couldn't have known about her plan to help Moiraine or known that she'd ever need to escape. Tomas goes with Verin.

Alanna and Maksim seems to have lost Ihvon.

Thank you for reading, answering the poll, carefully listening and watching. Leave a comment and tell me what you think about this theory-analysis of episode 7. I'd love to hear your opinions, answer your questions etc…

Well, it is finally over.

Onto the next one now,

Here..."Daes dae'Mar theory-analysis : What has been proved so far ?"

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