#but there are transfems who get this treatment too

[spiderbitesandvampirevenom]

I mean, I think you partially answered your own question there. Because you're right, If we treat TMA/TME as a binary it can't include intersex issues. And you're right, it is often applied without any consideration towards intersex issues. However, my point with the original post is that TMA/TME isn't and shouldn't be a binary.

First of all, lets talk real quick about the terms themselves. Transmisogyny Affected/Exempt. These are deceptively simple labels, and I think that's where a lot of the confusion comes up for people. Transmisogyny can refer to specific interpersonal acts, but it's also first and foremost a term describing the societal system that is designed to oppress transfems, i.e. people who were Assigned Male At Birth and no longer identify with that. And at a systemic level, that is the deciding factor. Transmisogyny picks its targets based on that assignment at birth. Individually, people who were not AMAB may find themselves the target of interpersonal transmisogyny, just as any individual can be mistakenly targeted by bigotry that doesn't apply to them. I get misdirected anti-hispanic shit thrown at me all the time, it doesn't make me hispanic. Likewise, being subjected to transmisogyny as someone who was AFAB does not necessarily make one TMA.

You're right, though, being intersex means you're not necessarily going to fall neatly into either a TMA or a TME bucket. Which means unfortunately when perisex people get to spend some time adjusting to the concept in Transmisogyny 1001: Transfemininity for Babies, you've been forced to skip ahead a bit to Transmisogyny 2001: Critical Thinking & Intersectionality. I don't know you or anything about you, so I'm not gonna talk too specifically here, I'm just trying to give you the lead to make your own analysis. SO. Here we go.

On some issues, you might be reasonably considered affected by transmisogyny. Depending on where you live and how legislation is written, you might find yourself targeted by transmisogynistic legislation. On many issues, however, as someone who was AFAB, you will find you are not going to be affected systemically by those issues. Because Transmisogyny's primary target is (primarily perisex) people who were AMAB and are now transfem. Regardless of whether or not you're TMA/TME though, this overlap in the treatment of transfem people and intersex people means we get to do something really cool called Intersectionality, where we focus on discussing the shared problems our communities face. Like personally, I don't particularly care whether or not you're TMA/TME. The fact that we have shared experiences matters more than the labels at that point. Transmisogyny and Intersexism have very similar playbooks and a lot of the time, one is going to include some level of the other. I'd rather discuss the intersection of our experiences than try to delineate where one starts and the other ends.

you folks realise TME isnt just a new synonym for transmasc right. like you realize when trans women are talking about TransMisogyny Exempt Individuals that includes, like, for example, cis men and women, right?? if you're gonna throw a fit over TMA/TME being "a new binary" i think you are a) purposefully misrepresenting these terms for the sake of delegitimizing them or b) being taken advantage of by those who do so. check your transmisogyny and do better lmao.

[vaspider]

Every once in a while, one of the Piles Of Exaggerations And Lies "callout" posts about how one of Tumblr's Two Minutes Of Hate targeted users - yeah, me, but others as well, and in this case it was another one of the users that people feel free to post deeply disturbing murder fantasies about - bubbles across my dash like a wet fart, and after spending like 5 minutes to block a lot of people, bc who needs 'callout post' energy in their life, I'm kinda like...

... you know, if you look through the notes on this for literally like 30 seconds, you can see every moral panic that Tumblr has gone through in its existence. It's like taking a core sample from a tree. Whoever the post is talking about will somehow have been, Gump-like, at every Devil's Sacrament that Tumblr has ever named. Somehow whoever it is perfectly holds the exact Wrong Opinion on every single event that's ever happened.

And like, it goes beyond that. They have to assure themselves that all the people they hate are also secretly best friends, too. There are people that certain circles of Tumblr is certain I'm friends with that I've never spoken to, or may have spoken to once directly. But because we are all Hated, we're all Best Friends.

And you'd think that after a while, anyone with a speck of thoughtfulness would ask themselves, "Hey, do you think maybe this isn't, like, legit, and maybe people on this site have just decided they hate this person & are therefore projecting every moral panic that comes along and everything they don't like onto this person?"

But, like. Of course not, bc that would require admitting that they've been turning some random person into their weird little poppet that they can project everything onto and thus feel better about themselves. "I might be a total asshole who's participating in a weird internet brigade, and I may feel some kinda bad way about shit in my own life, but at least I'm not [person]!"

Anyway. I wish someone would make a script similar to the old MegaBlock on Twitter where you could put in a post URL and block everyone who interacted with it. Just one click. That would fucking rock.

[spitblaze]

gnc and butch women (cis AND trans) and transmascs are punished for performing masculinity past certain thresholds of arbitrary attractiveness because people that cishet society categorizes or clocks as 'women' are not supposed to perform masculinity. hope this helps 👍

[theygender]

The more I think about it the more I really feel like the recently coined term mesosex might fit me and it's been shared by several intersex education/advocacy blogs I follow now so I know there's support for the term but I'm still like. Scared I would be Intruding™ on intersex issues if I started using it. Like I mean. I'm an afab & (afaik) perisex person with a reproductive disorder that's likely caused by a (non-intersex) hormone imbalance which I'm now essentially having to take feminizing HRT to fix, and as a result I'm now growing tits and undergoing female-pattern fat redistribution at the age of 25 after years of having little to no secondary sex characteristics. I've always identified with intersex issues but now that I'm essentially having to undergo HRT to make my body match my asab that connection to intersex issues feels even stronger. And like that's what the term is for. But my anxiety is still like "but what if you're intruding tho" lol 🙃

[genderqueerdykes]

when i call myself a lesbian and state that i am not (just) a woman, i am not insisting we must replace the current definition of lesbian, but expand it. when i say i'm a lesbian, i mean that i am attracted to and want to be in community spaces with queer women, yes, but i also want other people to be a part of this space as well, because their experiences are identical or near identical to those that queer women face, and/or they are attracted to those women.

i'm not saying that women who are attracted to women only and not in the wrong for saying that's what they mean by lesbianism means to them. there will be many people with that belief and its fine, but when they start to say that no one else can have their own lesbian experience that doesn't line up with theirs perfectly is when there's an issue. even 2 cisgender lesbians can have wildly different takes on what lesbianism means to them.

many lesbians are butchphobic. many lesbians are biphobic. many lesbians will not date or sleep with a queer woman who has dated and/or slept with men or people with penises. many lesbians reject butches who are also men. many lesbians in general reject trans women and other trans lesbians. that doesn't mean that they are 100% correct about lesbianism on the whole... that's just what they've defined it as, for themselves.

my definition of lesbianism includes all dykes. i'm attracted to people who identify as lesbians, dykes, sapphics,, intersex dykes, lesboys, transfem dykes, trans lesbians, lesbian trans women, boydykes, mtf butches, guydykes, butches, femmes, bi/pan/mspec lesbians, transmasc & ftm dykes, male lesbians, bisexual lesbians, multigender dykes, genderfluid sapphics, non binary dykes anyone who identifies as a lesbian sapphic and or dyke. yes i am also attracted to queer women in general, but i am mostly attracted to other lesbians, sapphics and dykes, because there is a culture that is present in these identities that are unique, which is why these terms exist to begin with. we have a nebulous shared experience that spans across many individual identities.

trans men are treated like butch dykes and lesbians regardless of how they identify. theyre bullied out of womanhood. intersex women and people receive this treatment throughout our lifetimes. transmascs, transfems, trans women and queer women in general get treated this way as well. any woman and/or femme who is even remotely gender non conforming gets hit with dyke and lesbian and butch and all kinds of slurs and insults. a lot of people relate to this experience. we're all judged for the same traits, people don't know our AGABs and our identities. many of us share exact experiences despite totally different individual experiences

lesbianism is broad. it's not narrow. it encompasses many forms of transness, from transmasculinity, transfemininity, transneutrality, bigenderism, multigenderism, two spirit, genderqueer, genderfluid, non binary, gender non conforming and many other identities. it's not simply cis woman loving cis woman. or cis woman loving non binary person, which is even worse- conflating non binary people with being women. this definition of lesbianism could not be more transphobic of it tried.

the rejection of butches who are Too Butch only makes this worse, but we can change this by allowing people who have these experiences to express themselves and engage in lesbian, dyke and sapphic spaces. our community is so vast and varied. we have unique experiences from all over the queer community that intersect with lesbianism and dyke identities. we have to celebrate and include these things and expand what we currently know about lesbianism- not replace anything, but build upon the history that came before us, and the people who are coming out as lesbians, sapphics, and dykes today.

[gay-otlc]

I know this is just a shout into the void because yall refuse to listen and you just turn off your brains any time I talk about straight trans men, but:

If you are aware that me being a straight trans man means I am a trans man who is primarily attracted to women, and you are aware that transphobes think trans men are women*, how can you not understand that transphobes think I am a woman who is primarily attracted to women? How can you not understand that having an identity that is seen as a woman who is primarily attracted to women might lead to me being oppressed in some way?

*obviously it's more complex than that and trans men are seen as whatever gender is most convenient for those that hate us, but for simplicity, transphobes are transphobic and think trans men are women.

If you are aware of how queerphobes treat lesbians/"lesbians", and you are aware of how queerphobes treat lesbians/"lesbians" that are masculine, how can you not understand that queerphobes may give especially shitty treatment to lesbians/"lesbians" that identify as men, that use he/him pronouns, that have facial hair and low voices, that get top and/or bottom surgery, etc?

If you are aware of what TERFs think of trans people, how are you not aware of the special hatred they have for those who "betray" lesbianism and transition into straight men? (Not that this hatred is uniquely bad, or worse than the hatred they have for other sorts of trans people, but it does exist.)

Are you somehow not aware of how queer communities that will support you if you're a lesbian will leave you to suffer queerphobia without resources or support if you step a toe out of line the second you're "too masculine" to be a lesbian?

Being a straight trans man brings a unique combination of lesbophobia, butchphobia, and transphobia. Obviously straight trans men are not the only group to experience this combination (for example, transfem butch lesbians do as well), but we experience this combination in different ways. We do not experience lesbophobia, butchphobia, and transphobia all separately, but rather, they intersect in such a way that is specific to straight trans men.

[heron-breeder]

If you follow any transfem supremacy intlectuals, you’ve certainly seen anonymous asks from subby transfems asking what their place would by in the glorious utopia of our inevitable transfem supremacist future. “Am I allowed to be owned as rape meat with the cissies of if I want to”, “do I need fuck cis girls if I just wanna get topped?”, “is me being subby a detriment to transfem supremacy?” Things like that. These are almost universally met with the leading voices of the movment asruing these slutty subs that of course they can be submissive, even rape meat, if that’s what they want in our future.

And while that’s well and good, I want to be proactive in reaching out to our submissive sisters. If you long for the cuter where dominant trans woman run the world, but you still want to be owned by a superior t dominant trans woman, here are some of the roles you might have in the future, and how they in no way detract from the truth of transfem supremacy.

Favored Toy: You’re inatly suprior to the cissies and fakeboys your Mistress fucks, and that entitles you to special treatment. This could be more time and attention being fucked by your Mistress, more comfterble quarters and clothes, whatever is needed to make sure you’re a happy sub

Jealousy Fuel: While proper Mistresses will certainly be raping indoors into submission, plenary will also be openly addicted to Supiror transfem cock. And that dosn’t mean they don’t still need to be shown their place. And you can help in this by being used in front of the ungrateful cunts until they beg hard enough.

Aftercare: while I’m sure there are transfem subs who would like to be as horribly abused as Cissies, being a transfem still entitles you to safe words, aftercare, and the softer treatment. Certainly, you will be spanked, fucked, and used like the submissive slut you are, but if it becomes too much, or you want soft treatment afterward, you can revive it. And this sets an excelent example to our inferiors. While the rape meat is lying their battered and brain broken, they see that even the quite and submissive transfems are infinitely above them though the special treatment you get.

Gender presentation and bodily autonomy: While a all cissies are indoor, plants of thought-leaders for the movment have talked about their their gender presentation, or even their gender, while be dictated by their transfem owners. Detransing fakeboys with hormoans and planstic surgery, force mascing androgynous non-binary twinks, rounding up cis woman, whatever pleases us. But you, as a submissive trans woman, will be in full control of your body and how you present. You’ll be given HRT, bottom and top surgery, anything you like. And it will all be at your pace, and your discretion, unlike the inferiors, who will have their bodies changed at the behest of their owners.

Trained rape machine: Say you want to have a more active role in enforcing Transfem Supremacy, but you don’t nessisarly want to be making the desitions that a dominant need to. Well, I think that there is still a solution for this. As discussed by noted thought-leader @t-girl-breeder in this post, transfems who want to be useful but don’t have the will to do it themselves can be trained as “attack dogs,” trained mindless rapists to be set on cissies who need to be shown their place, but the near by trans mistress can’t be bothered.

Changing your mind: And most importantly, your relationship with your Mistress will be purely on an at-will basis. If at any point you decide you would prefer to serve a different mistress, take a break, enter a different kind of relationship, or even become a dominant yourself, you are free to do so.

I hope this helped any sunny transfems see that even if you want to be rapemeat yourself in our gtransfem supremacist future, there is a sultry a place for you, and you’re in no way holding back the cause of transfem supremacy by being a submissive slut. I hope this was informative!

[tirfpikachu]

this screenshot from another post actually really hit me hard

trying to make body dysphoria seem inherently worse than body dysmorphia is actually cruel. as someone who developed extremely severe body dysmorphia before dysphoria, i can tell you it's the #1 reason i started hating and harming myself and wanting to die at a young age. i would've 1000% gotten extreme facial plastic surgery to "fix" myself. and while for some it's their road to happiness, if i had it... it personally would've locked me into this fake version of myself, forever wearing a mask. and whenever i'd see someone looking like my past self, a haunting feeling would've come over me. and yet society was encouraging me to "fix" my perceived flaws. it was insanely normalized. it was seen as almost self-care, and a way to better my chances in life as a "prettier" woman. it really fucked me up. you CANNOT look me in the eyes and say shit like "women just want to xyz bc of beauty standards, it's not the same as my much worse severely debilitating dysphoria" without telling my younger self and other young girls that her life-threatening suffering wasn't bad enough, wasn't painful enough, wasn't as bad as anything a trans person goes through. it assumes so fucking much about dysmorphic people. don't brush us off so easily. don't put yourself as inherently in a worse situation when societal misogyny costs real lives. especially since for me, it came from initial bullying at a young age, like many other girls who hate their own bodies & faces. stop belittling our pain.

my dysphoria was very debilitating too, and made me a trans activist for life. but it did come with risks. i developed reverse dysphoria quite quickly after i started growing stubble, and now i'm stuck with that painful dysphoria until i can get expensive laser hair removal. if this is how transfems feel like about their own stubble, holy shit... i'm so fucking sorry. that's a truly horrible feeling. what i can tell you though, is that this is actually a cousin sensation to dysmorphia. dysmorphia & dysphoria aren't as separated as y'all might want them to be, which would make things must simpler ofc. but it's the feeling of visceral disgust, of your body not being good enough, not being you enough. that sucks to think about; we don't want to empower the transphobic crowd into thinking they can magically fix us all. and so, many activists and dysphoric people try to compensate by portraying them as experiences that are completely foreign to one another. as never being related or feeling similar at all, ever. but the thing is, as a previously chronically dysphoric & dysmorphic detrans chick, i can tell you first-hand that it doesn't help anyone to pretend that these aren't often comorbid disorders, and that they actually really do feel similar. and that's okay! no one should take all your treatment options away just because of that. that would be shitty, transphobic, and honestly ableist. but we gotta encourage ppl & their doctors to do due diligence (which my doctor and trans community didn't) and be open to everybody about the risk of regret, of reverse dysphoria, of things not working out the way we think they will. because all that at the very least makes detransitions less painful, even if you personally never detransition. detransitions can lead to very extreme self-hatred, and all the unfortunate consequences of self-hatred. it is a very vulnerable place to be in, and we want to prevent harm. more and more folks are detransitioning because of a lack of information and a focus on celebrating someone's transition early instead of giving proper information. the same should be done with dysmorphic folks - i am both a post-dysphoric and post-dysmorphic person. but many dysmorphic people cannot function without getting surgeries.

and while this is honestly tragic, as anyone needing to go under the knife at all is tragic in a sense... sometimes it is the only life-saving treatment option for the person. for me, i feel so fucking proud of my survival despite years of debilitating disgust at myself, my body and my face. both in a dysphoric and dysmorphic way. but i do not look down on anyone who did have to go through surgeries. i'm just happy to see them smile and feel good about themselves, honestly. but it is a bit bittersweet. how was it, before surgeries, to be dysphoric? to be dysmorphic? i want to read more stories from those eras. how did people find inner peace? did they, in the end? how many didn't survive? what did they have to say? i feel a strange sense of yearning, sometimes. heteropatriarchal society is really weird. it triggers dysmorphia in so many young girls & transmascs. it can also trigger temporary dysphoria in some people, and even permanent dysphoria. and just because certain societal things are a factor in your dysphoria doesn't mean you're lesser for it either - your suffering matters. just like dysmorphic suffering. hating yourself at all is so fucking painful. i wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy, or i'd at least strongly hesitate and they'd need to be an actual monster to deserve it. i love dysphoric & dysmorphic people so fucking much. i don't want us to fight eachother, or shame eachother for seeking treatments when things become too much for us to bear. we need to uplift one another. do everything we can to lessen these feelings in ourselves, of course, as a community of people who hate their bodies and place in society. but if someone chooses to cross over, to take hormones, to have surgeries... i just don't want them to regret it, that's all. and if they don't? if they're happy? i would hug them and breathe a sigh of relief as well. i'd feel bittersweet, almost nostalgic, because i've been there. people who haven't been severely dysphoric or dysmorphic don't fucking understand. hopefully they never will.

[velvetvexations]

on the topic of trans women being affected by transandrophobia, there has been a lot of recent discourse on twitter from TRFs over artworks that are assumed to be of trans women (but are usually of non-binary people, or a loving portrait of pre-transition trans woman drawn by her friend) appearing too “masculine.” In these discourses several butch and gender non conforming trans women have spoken up about feeling hurt to see their peers call art that looks like them (or is even explicitly *of* them) be called caricature or a troonjack. Following one of these events I saw a tweet bemoaning how butch transfems are *always* taking the “TMEs” side and betraying their sisters and that this made them “honorary transmascs who should be treated as such.”

It reminded me so distinctly of the bullying I received before I even realized I was trans for failing womanhood, and then the subsequent “gender traitor” treatment I received. I understand that trans women might not necessarily want to understand that treatment as being an extension of transandrophobia, and frankly I think the way those trans women and fems were being treated could as easily be called transmisogyny, it just made me think a lot about how transphobia can be deeply… circular I suppose in how we are punished. Now that I am broadly read as an effeminate man I deal with a lot of bullying from other men (cis and trans) that a lot of trans women could probably relate to from before they transitioned. We have a lot in common.

I'm becoming increasingly convinced that transradfems really fucking hate GNC trans women because they aren't pretty anime forcefem kink girly girls.

It would explain why they've painting other queers as obsessed with transmisogynistic caricatures their new thing, so they can make sure other trans women stay attractive to them. Hey, did you get any comfort from that post about love for butch t-girls? Yeah, sorry to break it to you, they're basically calling you Buffalo Bill. They think you're Tim Curry in RHPS. If a TME is ever nice to you it's because you're ugly and don't pass and they see you as a drag queen who they love so much more than real t-girls who of course all look like this fictional femboy I throw a raging fit about not canonically being transfem despite not even being in the fandom.

Having said that, lmfao I want to be an honorary transmasc, plllllease. I feel the most community with the transandrophobia-acknowledging part of the internet and with my experiences in life having already been extremely weighted towards interacting with AFAB trans people and cis men because I met people mostly through kin* and kink,** I have this sense of being an outsider that can't connect with people on that level.***

*actual proper "this is literally me in a past life" fictionkin are overwhelmingly AFAB to the point I don't think another AMAB person has ever even submitted an application to the server I'm in

**my kinks are weighted towards AFAB people and cis men; even with my misgendering kink I still have to wade through a billion posts for AFAB people to find one crumb of AMAB content

***still mad about that TRF who took me being sad about alienation and was like "of course no other transfem wants to talk to her she's so transmisogynistic" as though my problem with TRFs making me feel alienated from transfems is them having a problem with me and not me being proudly opposed to them

[catandmellohi]

Missing Origins!Allium duo rn.

Just imagining this 7’0 woman (Transfem o!Ranboo supremacy) claiming everything as hers on the server, while her 5’0 tall Husband cheers her on. They would both cause so much chaos together it’s not even funny.

o!Tommy’s also the only one who gets special treatment. He’s the only one she’ll share her treasure with, no strings attached. He’s also the only one who can hug her without needing to ask first.

When o!Tommy is feeling lesser for not being able to fly. o!Ranboo will give him a pep talk, and go to his little obstacle course to practice.

When o!Ranboo is feeling homesick from being away from the end for too long, o!Tommy will give her gifts that remind her of home (shiny objects, jewelry, etc.)

o!Ranboo getting caught in the rain, and o!Tommy coming out with an umbrella to keep her dry.

They are the Origins smps power couple, and you cannot change my mind.

[madeofvoid]

Convinced a long time friend of mine to stop waiting and get her HRT. She took her first dose today and noticed a change in her mood instantly.

It may take months or years for you to notice the effects, but don't use that as an excuse. Its never too late. Sunken cost is a fallacy for a reason.

If you often find yourself contemplating "being the girl" in any situation, idc if its smutty or sfw, its because you probably are. Cis people don't do that. Don't wait, being a bystander to your own pain and discomfort is violence unto oneself. Go fucking get it. Just do it, I swear it makes a difference. It's hard, yes, but it'd be no easier to live in pain.

Also, generally ignore the TERFs. I've seen them honestly debate if Joanne Kathleen Rowling is cis herself. They're unreliable narrators at best and delusional by default. (Protip: Dissenters may floss with razor wire at earliest opportunity.)

Odds are you won't regret it. More people regret knee replacement or cancer removal surgeries than starting hrt. Trans-trenderism is a fallacy rooted in selection bias. Inertia was a real phenomenon before it had a name.

Don't want top surgery? Aight dont get it. Don't want bottom surgery? Aight dont get it. Gender euphoria is about you and what makes you happy. (Protip: cis chasers are for one night stands only. Wear gloves.)

Family doesn't agree? Forget about them, they only care about the idea of you in their minds. Make friends, form bonds of choice because those will always be stronger than bonds of force. (Protip: the full quote reads "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.")

Religion in the way? You should probably second guess that, anyway. Any doctrine which boils down to "bro just trust me" should be discarded. There are plenty more gods you can worship who view you as sacred. (Protip: There are explicit records of the sumerian deity Ishtar having transfem priestesses dating back to c~ 2000 B.C.E. Look it up.)

Too expensive/cant get an appt? r/DiYHRT exists. If not there, then there are comprehensive guides on 4chan's /lgbt/ board.

In a state where it's banned? See above. Move if you're able. If not, just fucking lie on your medical documentation. Get a P.O. box somewhere as an address and use that on medical records. With telehealth appointments and the proliferation of MyChart, it's stupidly easy to get treatment from a doctor and never have to see them. (Protip: this is legal and will likely remain that way for corporate interests. Abuse the system.)

Tl;DR - GET THE FUCKING HRT STOP WAITING TRANSFEM OR TRANSMASC OR TRANS NON BINARY JUST GO FOR IT THIS IS YOUR SIGN FFFUCKING DO IT.

p.s. any terfs found on the premises will be dealt with in accordance with the second ammendment. you've been warned. goodnight.

-nora

[larnax]

i wasnt expecting the results of that poll to suggest that dudes don't like cracking eggs in general but it kind of makes sense? the dominant narrative in the tumblr transmasc community at this very second is that You Can Never Know and providing any kind of advice is invasive and possible misgendering which is in large part a backlash to transfem spaces where egg cracking is a thing you're supposed to actively do so a bunch of trans dudes saw jokes about forcefem and thought "but if someone forcefemmed me that would suck ass bc im not a woman and dont want to be one" as if "actually im a trans guy" or even "hey, please don't speculate on my gender it makes me uncomfortable" wouldnt immediately cause any transfem person irl who suggested you might be an egg to be like "oh sorry bro my bad" bc shes like a human being capable of processing additional data, so they all made a bunch of posts about how that extremely niche scenario would be really invasive and triggering which then had to be abstracted so it wasnt immediately obvious that theyre just getting really mad at some transfem on reddit talking about putting estrogen in the water supply, and then somehow became a major community talking point.

which i think is the problem, almost every horror story is "someone decided i must be [identity] and then didn't listen when I told them to stop", because if i say i don't wanna cut my hair and some trans girl says "yknow i felt like that too before i realized i was a girl" and then im like "oh i already tried being a girl and it wasnt for me" and thats the end of the conversation it's at worst a little awkward. ofc it's different if it's a cis person telling me it's proof i haven't entirely forsaken my womanhood but this is a classic case of "changing the words in a sentence changes the meaning". the fact that transandrophobia necessitates that cis and trans guys experience gendered treatment by society the same way means that you can't say "well this is fine if a trans person does it from a place of wanting to help and is respectful about it" because a fully actualized gnc trans guy and a feminine cis guy who's never been given encouragement to explore his gender have to be the same kind of person and not two groups of people with different circumstances who will be helped and hurt by different things.

[nekoning]

I want to speak in support of transfems, as someone who is TME that embodies some of the arguments used to deflect acknowledging transmasc privilege. I want to start by saying that nothing I'm going to say is something transfems haven't said before and that you should prioritize listening to transfem voices.

Just to give context, for most of my life I was a masculine, non-passing transmasc, now I'm a visibly gnc agender person who's been 2 years on T, but what is important is:

There has not been a single stage in my transition journey where I have not been more privileged than transfems.

Not when I was pre-T, not when I was masc, not now that I'm gnc and sometimes get read as transfem, never.

I can only speak from my experience, but I will use it to deconstruct a few of the most common arguments used by TME people to criticize TMA people that speak out about transmisogyny.

1) “Transmasc people face the same level of oppression, any disagreement to this is an attempt at dividing us”

(CW: mentions of SA and murder)

Believe me, I know oppression. For another context i live in Latin America, where if you've paid attention to statistics about transphobia, it gets pretty bad here. Transmascs I know have had heartbreaking life stories, a lot of them have suffered SA, a few became sex workers to survive, that and more transphobia transmascs have talked about before.

Not too long ago, I was in a candlelit vigil with other transmascs, mourning the murder of Ever, a trans man who suffered violence, was killed and dismembered. He was treated as a woman in the news like in most cases here, a lot of us wondered if we could be next.

That same day I saw a post about transmasc privilege. My first knee-jerk reaction was to feel defensive, how could I get told that in that moment? how could anyone think we're privileged? A lot of transmascs are having that reaction now, the problem is you're staying with that reaction instead of listening.

You think what transfems are saying is that you stand with cis men at the top, hand in hand, only rewarded and not faced with any harm. That is not what they are saying, what they are pointing out is that even if we're both at the bottom, transmascs are one step above, 10 cents above, it is not wrong to point out that difference, it's fair.

I could go on and on with anecdotes about how other transmasc people and I suffer, and yet, none of it will erase that privilege. It’s in the name that appears in my ID and CV, it's in the way masculinity is favored in comparison to femininity, it's in how the community's response to my suffering will most often be open arms instead of being harassed, called pedophile or rapist, being banned and more of what happens to transfems, it's structural, it's patriarchy.

Everyone has a duty to recognize in which ways they are privileged. It is the duty of transmasc people to recognize that, even though the little privilege they have is not enough to protect them from transphobes and cisnormativity, it is enough to be weaponized against transfems if they choose to do so. The same way that even if a cis man is the best of allies and is discriminated by other aspects of his identity, he still holds more privilege than women.

We have to be aware of this privilege not because there is an “oppression olympics”, but because it's necessary if we want to use it in favor of transfems and not against them.

If you think transfems speaking out about the mistreatment they face is what is destroying unity, you're wrong. it's your lack of solidarity that is.

2) “GNC or feminine transmascs suffer the same treatment, so everyone is affected by transmisogyny”

I'm very fluid in my gender expression and nowadays I pass most of the time as a man. Sometimes I get read as transfem by strangers and get harassed, because of this I've started to become anxious about going outside.

And that is kind of the point, I started getting treated worse when read as transfem, in no other stage of my transition, not even when I didn't pass at all and was very masc, was I ever treated this harshly. And you know what? it's still not as bad as what transfems go through.

Because it's occasional and accidental, it's not even directed towards me really, the oppressive system in place doesn't have me as a target. Some other transmascs will give me the side-eye for being feminine, still not as bad. Some people will misgender me, see me as a cis woman, still not as bad, cis women ARE more privileged than trans women. If something happens to me, I can reach out to my safety net and be supported.

Maybe you should ask trans women what happens to them when they reach out for help, what happens when they speak out about what happens to them. I can't claim to be just as oppressed when the bullets just graze me, they are taking the direct hit and you are not protecting them.

3) “We don't know the reality of transmasc oppression. There is not enough data about us yet to make these claims”

That fact infuriates me as much as it infuriates you, I wish we were studied more, because it is true that sometimes our experiences are undermined. However, despite that, I don't need statistics to know that transfems are telling the truth, because it's how patriarchy works. They are women, I am not. We are both trans but stand in different sides of the spectrum, patriarchy punishes moving towards their side.

If you're still old enough to remember, what was one of the most common things cis men would tell women when they would speak about the oppression they faced? "show me the statistics." Don't do that to trans women, even when we both know it's unfair that the statistics don't exist, don't. Believe trans women, it's as simple as that. I don't need statistics to believe them because we have decades of history as proof.

To end this, Sylvia Rivera and many more transfems fought to get their voices heard despite the rest of the community trying to silence them, the same thing is happening now.

When will you listen? when will you contribute to making the community safe for trans women? If you want an united queer community, strong enough to fight against cisnormativity and patriarchy, then you need to make your choice between defensiveness and solidarity, I already made mine. And please hurry, because transfems really need us right now.

There is much more everyone should know about transmisogyny, but you have to hear it from them, they are the experts, read books and articles made by transfems, listen to what transfems are saying on this site, listen to the transfems in your community, be there for them.

edit: i can't believe i have to say it again, these are my experiences only, not speaking for everyone, and still, personal experiences are one thing, a systematic, structured oppression is another, it changes nothing.

[skele-bunny]

Can we get Sunny and Rory having a girl's day?

Self-Care. (No CW) Sunshine/Aurora

CW - NONE

Tags: Fluff, pampering, transfem Sunshine

Characters: Sunshine, Aurora

(Divider by @ wrathofrats !)

"Do you think it's okay to wear this, or am I gonna make the spa workers uncomfortable?"

"Oh, wear whatever you want! I got nervous, too, because of my whole downstairs thing and siblings being weird, but honestly? Water is water. I personally go nude."

Aurora hummed, looking at herself in the mirror, turning to see her pert ass on display in her bathing suit. Her tail swayed happily, and an equal smile went on her face. Sunshine had invited her out for a small date together, moreso just to take care of themselves. The older Ghoulette had reserved the Abbey's spa for 5 p.m. Their nails, hair, skin treatment all would be done along with a massage and time in the heated spring water.

Honestly? It was perfect. They've been needing a date, anyways.

The multi reached down and began to put on her casual clothes, bikini strings peeking ever so slightly at the top. Sunshine had just finished tying the lace of her skirt up before offering her hand, the two quickly linking together.

"Are you excited?" Sunny purred, holding the door open for her shorter mate.

"Oh, fuck yeah!" They shared laughter. "This is actually my first time getting to go! They're always so busy and booked, I kinda stopped attempting an appointment a few months ago."

"Oh, really? I'm actually a regular there at this point." Sunshine hummed, "Then I'm glad we can do this together."

The walk to the spa was a bit of a long one, having to wear their helmets as they crossed the threshold to the human section. They received waves and hellos as they passed, Aurora swaying their hands back and forth. It was a separate building, further away from the abbey as it settled right on top of the hot springs — obvious from the smoke chimney ever so slowly releasing steam.

Entering, the smell of an ocean breeze took over. Of course, it'd make sense for a majority of water ghouls to work here. Sunshine approached the front desk, checking them in and happily chatting to the Sister at reception. Aurora made herself comfortable on the soft couch, looking at all the decor in dim lights. This... Honestly was relaxing already and they haven't even started. It took a little bit longer before the door opened, Aurora filled with pure excitement as she got up and took the light ghoulette's hand again, being led through the hallway and into a giant space that connected.

The hot springs sat in the middle, massage chairs for pedicures and manicures along the wall, then two seperate stations for hair and makeup if requested. There was a few changing curtains propped up, and two doors that read "Mud Salon" and "Sauna."

"Ohh, damnit! If I knew I was bringing you, would've just upgraded us both to the full package instead of just matching you with me." Sun pouted. "I'm sorry Rory."

"No, no! It's okay! Honestly, I'm so excited to be here."

Sunshine smiled wider, leaning over and kissing her mate who giggled. They were handed bath robes temporarily, moving to the changing area to strip their casual clothes. Rory opted to keeping her bathing suit on despite Sunshine confirming they could be nude earlier, her comfort taking priority. As she exited, Sunny was waiting for her as were two water ghouls with two siblings.

"Hello!" The first water spoke. "We're going to start with your claws and face mask, does that sound alright?"

"Ohh, absolutely!" Aurora chirped, practically bouncing.

Led to the chairs, Aurora couldn't help but jump as the chair began to vibrate and knead into her back, purring once she got used to it — sending a quick glare to Sunshine as she snorted at the reaction. There was some kind of water drum being played over the speakers, Rory too occupied to not eat the tray of cucumbers next to her as the male water ghoul began to carefully place a face mask on her warm cheeks. The food she was eyeing was placed over her eyes, trying to relax and let herself be touched gently.

She could feel her left arm being rubbed, thumbs pressed into her flesh while her right leg was getting the same treatment. Each worker made their way down, massaging her hand, fingers, and toes before clipping down her nails. Honestly, Rory could've fallen asleep as they began to file down her claws. Both her hands and feet were soaked into warm water, and she's positive that's when she did fall asleep.

"Aurora," Sunny sang, causing the smaller ghoulette to hum and open her eyes. "Hi, sweetie! You okay?"

"Yeah, just got super comfortable."

"Good! They didn't want to wake you up, but I know you really wanted to experience this. Ended up picking out your nail color! Do you like it?"

The multi looked down, gasping as the gentle pink she adored on her claws. "Oh, I love it!"

"I knew you would!" Sunshine showed off her bright orange nails. "It's massage time, princess."

"Ohh, yes your majesty!"

The two began giggling, being led to a seperate room. They were settled right against each other as each knot, kink, and tight muscle was relieved. What Aurora didn't expect however, was her tail being included. She squealed as her tail base was rubbed, face turning dark.

"Holy shit, you gotta warn me before you do that." She laughed, the masseuse laughing with their own apology.

While still on the table, oils and treatment were placed on their skin, getting to smell each offered item and picking what they liked the most. By time they were done, both women were practically shining. They started talking back and forth in the salon chairs, getting trimmed and washed.

"—And then guess what I fucking seen? Rain! Leaving Mist's room!"

Aurora gasped. "Shut up! No you didn't! You are absolutely lying to me right now!"

"I'm so serious! And better yet? He was limping!!"

"Mist fucked him?!"

Sunshine nodded erratically, the two busting into laughter again. "Oh fuck this reminds me of the time I seen Cumulus peg Papa!"

This time, it was Sunshine's turn to scream.

After feeling absolutely perfected, ending their time in the hot springs was exactly what they needed. Aurora held Sunshine tightly as they cuddled together in the bubbling water. Purrs and silent kisses exchanged, little touches with promise of when they returned to the den.

"Thank you, for today." Rory mumbled.

"Of course, babe! I'm sorry we don't spend enough time together."

She simply shrugged. "Eh, we just stay so busy all the time! It's not your fault. I love cherishing what we do when we can."

The light ghoulette smiled, her teeth showing in that classic, perfect fashion. They leaned in, hands cupping one another's face as their lips intertwined. Aurora sat up more to take the lead, hand going down Sunshine's cheek to press against her collar bone. Pulling away after a moment, both of their eyes were half lidded, faces pink.

"Hey, Rory?" Sunshine hummed, wrapping her arms tight around her mate's hips.

"Yess?"

"Would you love me no matter what?"

"Of course!" Aurora tilted her head. "What kind of question is that?"

Sunshine giggled, mischief in her eyes. "This kind!"

Aurora didn't even get a second as Sunshine dunked them both underwater, resurfacing with loud laughs, Aurora splashing water on the other which quickly started a water war.

[maxphilippa]

Comes in

Evil Leafy from BFDI?

I actually felt so lost during her whole thing... I really don't remember too much about her but I do have some headcanons/plot ideas about her! I know that she's treated as "Leafy's evil sibling" or something like that (last time I checked on the wiki for more information on her), but I have this one interpretation/hc/AU with her though?

Leafy did a deal with someone in the past to get rid of anything that could be unpleasant of herself, probably because she felt miserable as a whole with being angry all of the time and that. So she got separated in two people, one being the Leafy we all know and love who's sweet and wants to be nice and loved, and... Evil Leafy. The complete opposite of her. A menacing being who scares every contestant no matter what.

Now, Evil Leafy is the pure embodiment of anger and evilness after all. She doesn't talk because of this. Because talking means exchanging chats with other objects, getting herself in possibly vulnerable situations, getting attached to someone. Her being able to teleport is an effect that is quite curious as well. Everything that she can feel is just... hatred.

But NOW what I would to do develop her in said scenario? Do a whole "getting better because of someone who's the complete opposite of her". Ruby, most likely. Evil Leafy is much more than the half of a person, Leafy is becoming her own person now, EL should get that treatment too. She slowly begins to realize that there's much more than being full of spite and stress.

Slowly but surely... she starts blossoming. Learning new feelings. Making new friends. Acting much more like an object, being able to maybe even walk as well, and talks just a bit too.

She's her own person now, and she doesn't have to be called "Evil Leafy", but perhaps just... Leaf. Or Autumn.

In terms of hcs, I actually thought for some reason that she was a guy? Even though she's like... Leafy but Evil? That's her whole thing? But apparently in the series that happened too, they initially referred to her with he/him pronouns so. Transfem Evil Leafy (real).

And demiaro-bisexual Evil Leafy too. Polyam mayhaps.

I think she would like cows and would be good friends with anyone (if she lets herself be vulnerable) but Firey. She looks like the type that holds grudges for a loooooong time. (Even if she's not Leafy).

I think she would like sweet n' spicy foods.

[velvetvexations]

in reference to that one post you just RB'd about trans women constantly getting pushed into being non-binary by transphobes:

transmasculine people consistently get that treatment too. radfems CONSTANTLY lament "why can't you just be a tomboy? a masculine woman? a butch lesbian?" (as if all transmascs are exclusively attracted to women, or all transmascs want to present masculinely)

i had an ex gf who consistently manipulated me out of medical transition because she considered it "too close" to being a "real man" and that would thus make me scary and a predator and like all the bfs she had before me. i get "but testosterone will make you angry and scary, can't you just be a man and not take T?" from my cis women friends ALL THE TIME when i bring up transition.

that's not an exclusively transfem experience. it's just the trans experience, of other people feeling the desperate need to deny you who you are by any means necessary, and insist that you don't have to go through such "drastic" measures to feel comfortable as if they understand in the slightest how it feels to be trans.