#but there are transfems who get this treatment too

[velvetvexations]

As a nonbinary person my biggest problem with enby has always been the fact that it's not ever felt like a word. It's quite literally just saying nb out loud but written out. It's never felt like a real identifier. For as much as the shitty I'm just a girl jokes or saturdays are for the boys sayings are like. Scuffed and bad. The words actually sound like they fit and flow in the sentences. Saying I'm gonna go hang out with the enbies later doesn't sound like a word. It sounds like I'm saying an abbreviation in place of a word. Because that's what it is at the end of the day. It never stopped being just an abbreviation of nonbinary but longer this time and it kinda pisses me off that it's treated like a really Good word. It isn't infantilising or anything bc tbh. It's not any more or less mature than someone just saying the damn letters out loud, but it sure as fuck lacks any sense of formality. People can say they're an enby all they want but it doesn't feel like an identifier if I called myself one, it feels like a descriptor. I think nonbinary people deserve a word for themselves that isn't just. The term for their identity but shortened and then made long again. Especially considering that we don't exactly refer to men and women as ems and doubleyous do we. It's petty, but it keeps me from liking it all the same. If a term that took absolutely Zero Effort to come up with is something that a Big group of who it was supposed to describe really don't fucking like, I dont think it's that big of a deal to put in a little more legwork to make something different

That's an interesting perspective. I guess every word needs an origin?

Idk maybe it would be easier if we made some distinction between internal/personal gender (how you conceptualize yourself) and external/social gender (how you are gendered and treated by others) cis people and post transition trans people usually have an internal gender and an External gender that somewhat match. Pre transition trans people have mismatched internal and external genders, which can produce dysphoria. I personally don't have much of an internal gender at all, but my external gender is "woman" based on presentation and socialization. When i say "trans women are seen as men" what I actually mean is "non-passing trans women are perceived and treated as men by transphobes, a role which has a very narrow set expectations and requirements in order to fully access its privileges, otherwise they get the same treatment as all queer/"failed" men, which is different from the experiences of people gendered externally as women in a lot of complex ways." there's no universal experience of gender and no such thing as a "real" man or woman, that's what "gender is a social construct" MEANS. But still! Our society treats men/boys different than women/girls. And the way people are treated affects how they behave! It's not misgendering anyone to point out and analyze those differences, it's just sociology and gender theory. It can be trans inclusive if you're not an idiot.

Post-transition trans people still generally risk discovery even if they're completely stealth. Besides that, I think it's too close to saying one is that gender also if we split it between the two, since why would one take precedence over the other when gender is fake either way? Identity is personal and people who tell you you're wrong about your identity are just incorrect, it's really simple.

someone i see often in transmisogyny discourse (not gonna drop the user) liked a post saying "intersexism isn't real and it's transmisogyny to say it is", unliked it and denied it when it was brought up to them, and is now pretending it didn't happen. what do you even do about that

I have no idea who you're talking about, but that's bad, I guess?

The ‘transmasc headcannons are all self indulgent, illogical and antifeminist. but transfem headcannons are all intelectual, narratively complex, feminist praxis’ thing reminds me of the ‘yaoi is all self indulgent, illogical and antifeminist. but yuri is all intelectual, narratively complex, feminist praxis’ thing (idk how common it is in fandoms that aren’t homestuck (cus istg that fucking fandom))

it's so deeply annoying

ngl I've been repeating "fellas, is it transphobic to admit that transphobes are transphobic?" ever since you said it (or at least something close to it? I don't remember if this is a direct quote or paraphrase because I was very tired that day) in one of the ask compilations because it sums up the whole thing so succinctly and also just feels good to say

Sorry about all the assclowns who are so eager to assert their bone-deep conviction that yes it totally is -__-;;

we live in a bad timeline

For the "trans-inclusive" cis girls who still insist "transmascs are BETRAYING WOMANHOOD" -

Riiiight...so, COMPLETELY irrelevant question, but how did you and your friends feel about the weird girl in middle and high school? You know, the anime fan with the punk clothes and dyed hair? Started hanging out more with boys than girls around the middle of the year? You DID extend the "bonds of sisterhood" to her too, didn't you?

No? You called her a traitor and a freak too? Even before she started hanging out more with the boys, you thought she was just being a holier-than-thou snob because she wasn't interested in the topics usually considered "girl talk"?

Yeah, I can't imagine why she would have felt more comfortable with the boys either...truly a mystery...yeah she really did totally betray you...yep...

women throw around "pickme" like it's the worst possible thing to be but most pickmes have a pretty good reason for being pickmes and women who complain about them should do some introspection

I think Androhomophobia is the word for MLMs speaking on their unique oppression!

noted!

"Why do trans men need a special word" why do trans women need a special word 🎤 do you just consider mens experiences the default 🤔

for transfem TRFs: because men is what trans women are transitioning away from so it literally was the default for them and they have a hard time understanding the idea that some people want the thing they don't want and don't want the thing they want

for transmasc TRFs: because of course they want to think they're the alpha dogs society revolves around they're all misogynists

As someone who wasn’t on tumblr when that “kill all transmascs” post was going around, what was that about?

I reeeeally hope there’s some context that I’m missing and it wasn’t just one of those “kill all men” jokes from 2012 with “trans” inserted into it.

Also, it’s really disheartening to see this kind of behavior from people who you would otherwise trust.

if it's older than this past March I wasn't around either but there was a post going around just a couple weeks ago

As a nonbinary person: the entire enby thing could be fixed if we just could have terminology without it being relentlessly mocked.

Some people are going to be uncomfortable with enby because it sounds similar to baby and that can feel infantilizing. Some people will not think it’s infantilizing. Some people will not care. This is normal. I think enban is a good term even if enby wasn’t made to be used similarly to boy and girl. I think more explicitly nonbinary terms are good. I want to have more terms to describe myself. Only having enby is annoying.

Yeah like...not having the infrastructure of entrenched and codified language is difficult.

I think there's a degree to which this sort of thing is "spreading", insofar as I see an uptick in random cis people making flippant transandrophobic jokes and then acting like it's antifeminist to disagree. HOWEVER, I also think the hardcore TRFs' views are escalating over time to the point that when their posts break containment they often sound so obviously fucked up that people who aren't as discourse-poisoned are noticing it, rather than just blindly boosting like "Trans rights, I guess!".

the legacy of trans radical feminism: making cis people a little more transphobic

did that one op imply trans men can all just girlmode like its no big deal and takes no effort. like i do girlmode at work but that entails shaving daily and trying to keep my voice high despite having dropped like two octaves.

i feel like all that saves the façade is that my coworkers have known me since pre-T plus my tits are gigantic

he did imply that!

I think all the transmascs on here talking about how being seen as a girl is a privilege should try being a girl not wearing a bra. Or binding. Just letting them hang out. It's amazing how poorly you'll get treated. Bonus points if you're also obviously autistic and generally GNC at the same time

(On that note I think there should be more of a movement for people with boobs to not have to wear a bra because they are so uncomfortable for me and make me extremely dysphoric and I'm sure I can't be the only one-)

That used to be a feminist thing but it seems like everyone retreated from that issue.

What are your thoughts on the idea that TERFs genuinely do hate men the most and the only reason they specifically target trans women is because they see them as men that are "trying to sneak into womens spaces"? I think it makes sense on the basis that they treat trans women badly but sometimes ally with cis men who also hate us because those men aren't "explicitly trying to trick them"

I mean yeah exactly lol TERFs see trans women as men in the middle of actively doing a misogyny or trying to perform a fetish in front of them

[magicisrealandsoismyally]

Right so defining socialization theory doesn't change shit for me. It's not about transmascs being "socialized female". It is about how people who are in social positions where they are oppressed but not the most oppressed + they do not interact with people more oppressed than them on the regular. It's not being a white AFAB that does this to people. Being south asian does it too. like i just said. And crazy thing, transfems can do this too. I've heard some ableist shit be said and defended by hella queer people before. No one is immune to feeling like they are the most oppressed group on the list.

To address your second point, the main issue with transandrophobia as a movement is that however you feel about the orginal theory, it's been warped by TERFs and MRAs to the point where the tag is basically 4 different belief systems under a trench coat. I understand that this was not a belief under the original transandrophobia belief, but I call it like I see it, and TERFs have done their damage to the movement.

It's not a lie, it's just a different side of the tag you don't interact with (and good on you honestly, watching transmascs argue for sex essentialism is the most confusing thing in the world because it sounds like they are 30 seconds from being detrans movement leaders)

A term can be coined by a POC and also every POC transmasc I know can hate the movement, these are coexisting statements, plenty of movements do not reflect the person who started them 1 to 1. And like I said, TERFs and MRAs have latched on to the tag.

And yes, transmascs get third gendered you are correct but TERFs think y'all can go back to being a woman it's why they're invading the transandrophobia tag because a lot of transandrophobia truthers argue the same sex based oppression shit as TERFs. TERFs don't try to detransition transfems. Cause we can't be men, not real ones, not in their eyes. They don't see y'all as men, or women, but they'll treat you like victimized women for long enough until they can make you into one "again". To be clear, this is very insidious and bad, but it is different treatment. Closeted transmascs do not get third gendered on an individual level, just a systemic one. Closeted transfems get third gendered on all levels. I mean there's a reason the dysphoria fit is formlessly masc. Because masculinity is viewed as the default. Because when a young "girl" wears masculine clothing like sweatpants and a sweatshirt, no one has a problem with that, they might tell him that "she's wasting her looks" but she's not getting physically assaulted for that. But if a young "boy" wears a skirt, people genuinely get violent over that. I've had people threaten to punch me after i wore pink. It's not because they hate pink, it's because femininity in amabs makes use targets.

Masculinity is seen as a default, as a natural state. It's why transmascs have complained about not being able to dress fun without their masculinity challenged, because everything expressive is dubbed too feminine, because to be masculine effort is not required (by cis men, i'm aware trans men have to put in effort, but it isn't effort that is obvious, male contour makeup isn't supposed to be clearly there for example). It's why stories about crossdressing male are stories like mulan, while stories crossdressing female play it off as a joke something to be ridiculed.

@magicisrealandsoismyally

You do understand that this is socialisation theory right? Just in pretty words?

'this group of trans people spent time occupying this social status and that left you with a sense of entitlement and shapes their behaviour as a whole'...

In case there is someone else who considers this an ok thing to say, let me give you an example of a similar statement which you may understand as bad:

'Transandrophobia deniers are some of the most ex-white men people in the world. Now I'm not saying they were men, but the time they spent occupying a social status where others viewed you as a white man shapes the way you act entitled and claim you're the most oppressed group (white man shit)'

Now. That is a horrifying and transmisogynistic thing to say, yes? We all agree? So we should all also agree that the initial statement was also horrifying and predjudiced against trans men (whether you call that transandrophobic or not).

[vaspider]

Every once in a while, one of the Piles Of Exaggerations And Lies "callout" posts about how one of Tumblr's Two Minutes Of Hate targeted users - yeah, me, but others as well, and in this case it was another one of the users that people feel free to post deeply disturbing murder fantasies about - bubbles across my dash like a wet fart, and after spending like 5 minutes to block a lot of people, bc who needs 'callout post' energy in their life, I'm kinda like...

... you know, if you look through the notes on this for literally like 30 seconds, you can see every moral panic that Tumblr has gone through in its existence. It's like taking a core sample from a tree. Whoever the post is talking about will somehow have been, Gump-like, at every Devil's Sacrament that Tumblr has ever named. Somehow whoever it is perfectly holds the exact Wrong Opinion on every single event that's ever happened.

And like, it goes beyond that. They have to assure themselves that all the people they hate are also secretly best friends, too. There are people that certain circles of Tumblr is certain I'm friends with that I've never spoken to, or may have spoken to once directly. But because we are all Hated, we're all Best Friends.

And you'd think that after a while, anyone with a speck of thoughtfulness would ask themselves, "Hey, do you think maybe this isn't, like, legit, and maybe people on this site have just decided they hate this person & are therefore projecting every moral panic that comes along and everything they don't like onto this person?"

But, like. Of course not, bc that would require admitting that they've been turning some random person into their weird little poppet that they can project everything onto and thus feel better about themselves. "I might be a total asshole who's participating in a weird internet brigade, and I may feel some kinda bad way about shit in my own life, but at least I'm not [person]!"

Anyway. I wish someone would make a script similar to the old MegaBlock on Twitter where you could put in a post URL and block everyone who interacted with it. Just one click. That would fucking rock.

[spitblaze]

gnc and butch women (cis AND trans) and transmascs are punished for performing masculinity past certain thresholds of arbitrary attractiveness because people that cishet society categorizes or clocks as 'women' are not supposed to perform masculinity. hope this helps 👍

[genderqueerdykes]

when i call myself a lesbian and state that i am not (just) a woman, i am not insisting we must replace the current definition of lesbian, but expand it. when i say i'm a lesbian, i mean that i am attracted to and want to be in community spaces with queer women, yes, but i also want other people to be a part of this space as well, because their experiences are identical or near identical to those that queer women face, and/or they are attracted to those women.

i'm not saying that women who are attracted to women only and not in the wrong for saying that's what they mean by lesbianism means to them. there will be many people with that belief and its fine, but when they start to say that no one else can have their own lesbian experience that doesn't line up with theirs perfectly is when there's an issue. even 2 cisgender lesbians can have wildly different takes on what lesbianism means to them.

many lesbians are butchphobic. many lesbians are biphobic. many lesbians will not date or sleep with a queer woman who has dated and/or slept with men or people with penises. many lesbians reject butches who are also men. many lesbians in general reject trans women and other trans lesbians. that doesn't mean that they are 100% correct about lesbianism on the whole... that's just what they've defined it as, for themselves.

my definition of lesbianism includes all dykes. i'm attracted to people who identify as lesbians, dykes, sapphics,, intersex dykes, lesboys, transfem dykes, trans lesbians, lesbian trans women, boydykes, mtf butches, guydykes, butches, femmes, bi/pan/mspec lesbians, transmasc & ftm dykes, male lesbians, bisexual lesbians, multigender dykes, genderfluid sapphics, non binary dykes anyone who identifies as a lesbian sapphic and or dyke. yes i am also attracted to queer women in general, but i am mostly attracted to other lesbians, sapphics and dykes, because there is a culture that is present in these identities that are unique, which is why these terms exist to begin with. we have a nebulous shared experience that spans across many individual identities.

trans men are treated like butch dykes and lesbians regardless of how they identify. theyre bullied out of womanhood. intersex women and people receive this treatment throughout our lifetimes. transmascs, transfems, trans women and queer women in general get treated this way as well. any woman and/or femme who is even remotely gender non conforming gets hit with dyke and lesbian and butch and all kinds of slurs and insults. a lot of people relate to this experience. we're all judged for the same traits, people don't know our AGABs and our identities. many of us share exact experiences despite totally different individual experiences

lesbianism is broad. it's not narrow. it encompasses many forms of transness, from transmasculinity, transfemininity, transneutrality, bigenderism, multigenderism, two spirit, genderqueer, genderfluid, non binary, gender non conforming and many other identities. it's not simply cis woman loving cis woman. or cis woman loving non binary person, which is even worse- conflating non binary people with being women. this definition of lesbianism could not be more transphobic of it tried.

the rejection of butches who are Too Butch only makes this worse, but we can change this by allowing people who have these experiences to express themselves and engage in lesbian, dyke and sapphic spaces. our community is so vast and varied. we have unique experiences from all over the queer community that intersect with lesbianism and dyke identities. we have to celebrate and include these things and expand what we currently know about lesbianism- not replace anything, but build upon the history that came before us, and the people who are coming out as lesbians, sapphics, and dykes today.

[plaidos]

Reading all these posts and info from people discussing their own experience made me want to talk about mine (2 different experiences)

I dated a trans man for 5 years and it was the most emotionally and verbally abusive relationship I ever had. I was sexually victimized and yelled at regularly by him and in the vicinity of others, but nobody ever did anything to help me or protect me. Most every other person in our social lives drafted me into being a loyal caregiver/crisis manager because I "should be empathetic for his experience" because he had a narcissistic mom and uncontrolled BPD symptoms and because I was the person he let get closest. His "off glances" from strangers at the grocery store would trigger massive meltdowns where he'd more or less force me to mother him through his anger, but whenever I'd express that I felt dysphoric or unwelcome or fawned over in weird ways, especially in places that were dominated by AFAB experiences he would belittle and gaslight my feelings and claim I was "too sensitive" and trans men had it just as hard.

My experiences and my trauma were second to his, he demonized and shamed me for enjoying aspects of ageplay in kink because he was mortified that it would reflect badly on him would it come out that he was dating a nasty age player (even tho when he wanted to he would get what he wanted out of the kink himself).

When I finally had enough and broke it off he spread rumors about me to mutual friends that I was sexually victimizing him and that I had "tricked" him into a threesome with a mutual friend (surprise surprise the guy who coercively raped me is lying about sexual experiences).

(1/2)

(continuation of prev ask) This one would be way too long if I didn't make it short so. I polyamorously dated an AFAB agender lesbian for two years who tongue-in-cheek claimed to be "a chaser" because they "identified so strongly with the trans female experience". Even though we were dating, they would act disgusted or put off any time I would make a (gentle) move on them, even if it was something as simple as holding hands, and claim I was "moving too fast"; but then would turn around and come on to me so strong out of nowhere and basically expect me to snap to with no warning. Emotional intimacy too, was treated this way. I am not a massively romantic person, but even when I tried to seek out platonic kinds of comfort in them they would insult me for it. They identified as transmasc/GNC, but whenever it benefitted them, they would slip back into gender-conforming femininity like a comforting shroud while diminishing or dismissing my own experiences of gender or of feeling uncomfortable around their friends (all cisgender straight people lmao). Whenever I experienced traumatic flashbacks or needed support from them, they would criticize me for being "too needy". When we were in public they would get angry if I acted like we were together even in minor implications (like "oh we did that together" type language). When I expressed that I was annoyed that they repeatedly refused to communicate with me and routinely prioritized shitty cisgender men in their life (one who was an ACTUAL pedophile I learned) they would roast me via 10s of paragraphs in text of how "emotionally immature" I was and how I was acting "entitled to certain treatment from them". There was no love, there was no acknowledgement of my pain and my history, there was no acceptance of my femininity as a part of myself. I felt like I was treated like a toy. I felt like I was treated like a woman only nominally, and then I was treated like an intruder or a rabid animal when it suited their narrative. (2/2)

anon, this rings so true with my experiences dating similar people. i am so sorry that this happened to you, and that it it a common trend within transfems' dating experiences. the majority of my transfem friends who have dated TME people within the community have expressed similar experiences, and i have similar experiences too, like being coerced into topping/domming because that's what they "expect" from a 6ft tranny.

I'm so sorry.

to the TME people of the trans community: do better. this is not a coincidence, this is happening to trans women all across the trans community all the time. it could be happening to your friends, and you haven't realised it because of how normalised it is. you could even be treating YOUR transfem girlfriend this way.

it needs to stop.

[gay-otlc]

I know this is just a shout into the void because yall refuse to listen and you just turn off your brains any time I talk about straight trans men, but:

If you are aware that me being a straight trans man means I am a trans man who is primarily attracted to women, and you are aware that transphobes think trans men are women*, how can you not understand that transphobes think I am a woman who is primarily attracted to women? How can you not understand that having an identity that is seen as a woman who is primarily attracted to women might lead to me being oppressed in some way?

*obviously it's more complex than that and trans men are seen as whatever gender is most convenient for those that hate us, but for simplicity, transphobes are transphobic and think trans men are women.

If you are aware of how queerphobes treat lesbians/"lesbians", and you are aware of how queerphobes treat lesbians/"lesbians" that are masculine, how can you not understand that queerphobes may give especially shitty treatment to lesbians/"lesbians" that identify as men, that use he/him pronouns, that have facial hair and low voices, that get top and/or bottom surgery, etc?

If you are aware of what TERFs think of trans people, how are you not aware of the special hatred they have for those who "betray" lesbianism and transition into straight men? (Not that this hatred is uniquely bad, or worse than the hatred they have for other sorts of trans people, but it does exist.)

Are you somehow not aware of how queer communities that will support you if you're a lesbian will leave you to suffer queerphobia without resources or support if you step a toe out of line the second you're "too masculine" to be a lesbian?

Being a straight trans man brings a unique combination of lesbophobia, butchphobia, and transphobia. Obviously straight trans men are not the only group to experience this combination (for example, transfem butch lesbians do as well), but we experience this combination in different ways. We do not experience lesbophobia, butchphobia, and transphobia all separately, but rather, they intersect in such a way that is specific to straight trans men.

[heron-breeder]

If you follow any transfem supremacy intlectuals, you’ve certainly seen anonymous asks from subby transfems asking what their place would by in the glorious utopia of our inevitable transfem supremacist future. “Am I allowed to be owned as rape meat with the cissies of if I want to”, “do I need fuck cis girls if I just wanna get topped?”, “is me being subby a detriment to transfem supremacy?” Things like that. These are almost universally met with the leading voices of the movment asruing these slutty subs that of course they can be submissive, even rape meat, if that’s what they want in our future.

And while that’s well and good, I want to be proactive in reaching out to our submissive sisters. If you long for the cuter where dominant trans woman run the world, but you still want to be owned by a superior t dominant trans woman, here are some of the roles you might have in the future, and how they in no way detract from the truth of transfem supremacy.

Favored Toy: You’re inatly suprior to the cissies and fakeboys your Mistress fucks, and that entitles you to special treatment. This could be more time and attention being fucked by your Mistress, more comfterble quarters and clothes, whatever is needed to make sure you’re a happy sub

Jealousy Fuel: While proper Mistresses will certainly be raping indoors into submission, plenary will also be openly addicted to Supiror transfem cock. And that dosn’t mean they don’t still need to be shown their place. And you can help in this by being used in front of the ungrateful cunts until they beg hard enough.

Aftercare: while I’m sure there are transfem subs who would like to be as horribly abused as Cissies, being a transfem still entitles you to safe words, aftercare, and the softer treatment. Certainly, you will be spanked, fucked, and used like the submissive slut you are, but if it becomes too much, or you want soft treatment afterward, you can revive it. And this sets an excelent example to our inferiors. While the rape meat is lying their battered and brain broken, they see that even the quite and submissive transfems are infinitely above them though the special treatment you get.

Gender presentation and bodily autonomy: While a all cissies are indoor, plants of thought-leaders for the movment have talked about their their gender presentation, or even their gender, while be dictated by their transfem owners. Detransing fakeboys with hormoans and planstic surgery, force mascing androgynous non-binary twinks, rounding up cis woman, whatever pleases us. But you, as a submissive trans woman, will be in full control of your body and how you present. You’ll be given HRT, bottom and top surgery, anything you like. And it will all be at your pace, and your discretion, unlike the inferiors, who will have their bodies changed at the behest of their owners.

Trained rape machine: Say you want to have a more active role in enforcing Transfem Supremacy, but you don’t nessisarly want to be making the desitions that a dominant need to. Well, I think that there is still a solution for this. As discussed by noted thought-leader @t-girl-breeder in this post, transfems who want to be useful but don’t have the will to do it themselves can be trained as “attack dogs,” trained mindless rapists to be set on cissies who need to be shown their place, but the near by trans mistress can’t be bothered.

Changing your mind: And most importantly, your relationship with your Mistress will be purely on an at-will basis. If at any point you decide you would prefer to serve a different mistress, take a break, enter a different kind of relationship, or even become a dominant yourself, you are free to do so.

I hope this helped any sunny transfems see that even if you want to be rapemeat yourself in our gtransfem supremacist future, there is a sultry a place for you, and you’re in no way holding back the cause of transfem supremacy by being a submissive slut. I hope this was informative!

[catandmellohi]

Missing Origins!Allium duo rn.

Just imagining this 7’0 woman (Transfem o!Ranboo supremacy) claiming everything as hers on the server, while her 5’0 tall Husband cheers her on. They would both cause so much chaos together it’s not even funny.

o!Tommy’s also the only one who gets special treatment. He’s the only one she’ll share her treasure with, no strings attached. He’s also the only one who can hug her without needing to ask first.

When o!Tommy is feeling lesser for not being able to fly. o!Ranboo will give him a pep talk, and go to his little obstacle course to practice.

When o!Ranboo is feeling homesick from being away from the end for too long, o!Tommy will give her gifts that remind her of home (shiny objects, jewelry, etc.)

o!Ranboo getting caught in the rain, and o!Tommy coming out with an umbrella to keep her dry.

They are the Origins smps power couple, and you cannot change my mind.

[tirfpikachu]

this screenshot from another post actually really hit me hard

it's so true... they always do this. trying to make body dysphoria seem inherently worse than body dysmorphia is actually cruel. as someone who developed extremely severe body dysmorphia before dysphoria, i can tell you it's the #1 reason i started hating and harming myself and wanting to die at a young age. i would've 1000% gotten extreme facial plastic surgery to "fix" myself. and while for some it's their road to happiness, if i had it... it personally would've locked me into this fake version of myself, forever wearing a mask. and whenever i'd see someone looking like my past self, a haunting feeling would've come over me. and yet society was encouraging me to "fix" my perceived flaws. it was insanely normalized. it was seen as almost self-care, and a way to better my chances in life as a "prettier" woman. it really fucked me up. you CANNOT look me in the eyes and say shit like "women just want to xyz bc of beauty standards, it's not the same as my much worse severely debilitating dysphoria" without telling my younger self and other young girls that her life-threatening suffering wasn't bad enough, wasn't painful enough, wasn't as bad as anything a trans person goes through. it assumes so fucking much about dysmorphic people. don't brush us off so easily. don't put yourself as inherently in a worse situation when societal misogyny costs real lives. especially since for me, it came from initial bullying at a young age, like many other girls who hate their own bodies & faces. stop belittling our pain.

my dysphoria was very debilitating too, and made me a trans activist for life. but it did come with risks. i developed reverse dysphoria quite quickly after i started growing stubble, and now i'm stuck with that painful dysphoria until i can get expensive laser hair removal. if this is how transfems feel like about their own stubble, holy shit... i'm so fucking sorry. that's a truly horrible feeling. what i can tell you though, is that this is actually a cousin sensation to dysmorphia. dysmorphia & dysphoria aren't as separated as y'all might want them to be, which would make things must simpler ofc. but it's the feeling of visceral disgust, of your body not being good enough, not being you enough. that sucks to think about; we don't want to empower the transphobic crowd into thinking they can magically fix us all. and so, many activists and dysphoric people try to compensate by portraying them as experiences that are completely foreign to one another. as never being related or feeling similar at all, ever. but the thing is, as a previously chronically dysphoric & dysmorphic detrans chick, i can tell you first-hand that it doesn't help anyone to pretend that these aren't often comorbid disorders, and that they actually really do feel similar. and that's okay! no one should take all your treatment options away just because of that. that would be shitty, transphobic, and honestly ableist. but we gotta encourage ppl & their doctors to do due diligence (which my doctor and trans community didn't) and be open to everybody about the risk of regret, of reverse dysphoria, of things not working out the way we think they will. because all that at the very least makes detransitions less painful, even if you personally never detransition. detransitions can lead to very extreme self-hatred, and all the unfortunate consequences of self-hatred. it is a very vulnerable place to be in, and we want to prevent harm. more and more folks are detransitioning because of a lack of information and a focus on celebrating someone's transition early instead of giving proper information. the same should be done with dysmorphic folks - i am both a post-dysphoric and post-dysmorphic person. but many dysmorphic people cannot function without getting surgeries.

and while this is honestly tragic, as anyone needing to go under the knife at all is tragic in a sense... sometimes it is the only life-saving treatment option for the person. for me, i feel so fucking proud of my survival despite years of debilitating disgust at myself, my body and my face. both in a dysphoric and dysmorphic way. but i do not look down on anyone who did have to go through surgeries. i'm just happy to see them smile and feel good about themselves, honestly. but it is a bit bittersweet. how was it, before surgeries, to be dysphoric? to be dysmorphic? i want to read more stories from those eras. how did people find inner peace? did they, in the end? how many didn't survive? what did they have to say? i feel a strange sense of yearning, sometimes. heteropatriarchal society is really weird. it triggers dysmorphia in so many young girls & transmascs. it can also trigger temporary dysphoria in some people, and even permanent dysphoria. and just because certain societal things are a factor in your dysphoria doesn't mean you're lesser for it either - your suffering matters. just like dysmorphic suffering. hating yourself at all is so fucking painful. i wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy, or i'd at least strongly hesitate and they'd need to be an actual monster to deserve it. i love dysphoric & dysmorphic people so fucking much. i don't want us to fight eachother, or shame eachother for seeking treatments when things become too much for us to bear. we need to uplift one another. do everything we can to lessen these feelings in ourselves, of course, as a community of people who hate their bodies and place in society. but if someone chooses to cross over, to take hormones, to have surgeries... i just don't want them to regret it, that's all. and if they don't? if they're happy? i would hug them and breathe a sigh of relief as well. i'd feel bittersweet, almost nostalgic, because i've been there. people who haven't been severely dysphoric or dysmorphic don't fucking understand. hopefully they never will.

[velvetvexations]

on the topic of trans women being affected by transandrophobia, there has been a lot of recent discourse on twitter from TRFs over artworks that are assumed to be of trans women (but are usually of non-binary people, or a loving portrait of pre-transition trans woman drawn by her friend) appearing too “masculine.” In these discourses several butch and gender non conforming trans women have spoken up about feeling hurt to see their peers call art that looks like them (or is even explicitly *of* them) be called caricature or a troonjack. Following one of these events I saw a tweet bemoaning how butch transfems are *always* taking the “TMEs” side and betraying their sisters and that this made them “honorary transmascs who should be treated as such.”

It reminded me so distinctly of the bullying I received before I even realized I was trans for failing womanhood, and then the subsequent “gender traitor” treatment I received. I understand that trans women might not necessarily want to understand that treatment as being an extension of transandrophobia, and frankly I think the way those trans women and fems were being treated could as easily be called transmisogyny, it just made me think a lot about how transphobia can be deeply… circular I suppose in how we are punished. Now that I am broadly read as an effeminate man I deal with a lot of bullying from other men (cis and trans) that a lot of trans women could probably relate to from before they transitioned. We have a lot in common.

I'm becoming increasingly convinced that transradfems really fucking hate GNC trans women because they aren't pretty anime forcefem kink girly girls.

It would explain why they've painting other queers as obsessed with transmisogynistic caricatures their new thing, so they can make sure other trans women stay attractive to them. Hey, did you get any comfort from that post about love for butch t-girls? Yeah, sorry to break it to you, they're basically calling you Buffalo Bill. They think you're Tim Curry in RHPS. If a TME is ever nice to you it's because you're ugly and don't pass and they see you as a drag queen who they love so much more than real t-girls who of course all look like this fictional femboy I throw a raging fit about not canonically being transfem despite not even being in the fandom.

Having said that, lmfao I want to be an honorary transmasc, plllllease. I feel the most community with the transandrophobia-acknowledging part of the internet and with my experiences in life having already been extremely weighted towards interacting with AFAB trans people and cis men because I met people mostly through kin* and kink,** I have this sense of being an outsider that can't connect with people on that level.***

*actual proper "this is literally me in a past life" fictionkin are overwhelmingly AFAB to the point I don't think another AMAB person has ever even submitted an application to the server I'm in

**my kinks are weighted towards AFAB people and cis men; even with my misgendering kink I still have to wade through a billion posts for AFAB people to find one crumb of AMAB content

***still mad about that TRF who took me being sad about alienation and was like "of course no other transfem wants to talk to her she's so transmisogynistic" as though my problem with TRFs making me feel alienated from transfems is them having a problem with me and not me being proudly opposed to them

[madeofvoid]

Convinced a long time friend of mine to stop waiting and get her HRT. She took her first dose today and noticed a change in her mood instantly.

It may take months or years for you to notice the effects, but don't use that as an excuse. Its never too late. Sunken cost is a fallacy for a reason.

If you often find yourself contemplating "being the girl" in any situation, idc if its smutty or sfw, its because you probably are. Cis people don't do that. Don't wait, being a bystander to your own pain and discomfort is violence unto oneself. Go fucking get it. Just do it, I swear it makes a difference. It's hard, yes, but it'd be no easier to live in pain.

Also, generally ignore the TERFs. I've seen them honestly debate if Joanne Kathleen Rowling is cis herself. They're unreliable narrators at best and delusional by default. (Protip: Dissenters may floss with razor wire at earliest opportunity.)

Odds are you won't regret it. More people regret knee replacement or cancer removal surgeries than starting hrt. Trans-trenderism is a fallacy rooted in selection bias. Inertia was a real phenomenon before it had a name.

Don't want top surgery? Aight dont get it. Don't want bottom surgery? Aight dont get it. Gender euphoria is about you and what makes you happy. (Protip: cis chasers are for one night stands only. Wear gloves.)

Family doesn't agree? Forget about them, they only care about the idea of you in their minds. Make friends, form bonds of choice because those will always be stronger than bonds of force. (Protip: the full quote reads "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.")

Religion in the way? You should probably second guess that, anyway. Any doctrine which boils down to "bro just trust me" should be discarded. There are plenty more gods you can worship who view you as sacred. (Protip: There are explicit records of the sumerian deity Ishtar having transfem priestesses dating back to c~ 2000 B.C.E. Look it up.)

Too expensive/cant get an appt? r/DiYHRT exists. If not there, then there are comprehensive guides on 4chan's /lgbt/ board.

In a state where it's banned? See above. Move if you're able. If not, just fucking lie on your medical documentation. Get a P.O. box somewhere as an address and use that on medical records. With telehealth appointments and the proliferation of MyChart, it's stupidly easy to get treatment from a doctor and never have to see them. (Protip: this is legal and will likely remain that way for corporate interests. Abuse the system.)

Tl;DR - GET THE FUCKING HRT STOP WAITING TRANSFEM OR TRANSMASC OR TRANS NON BINARY JUST GO FOR IT THIS IS YOUR SIGN FFFUCKING DO IT.

p.s. any terfs found on the premises will be dealt with in accordance with the second ammendment. you've been warned. goodnight.

-nora

[larnax]

i wasnt expecting the results of that poll to suggest that dudes don't like cracking eggs in general but it kind of makes sense? the dominant narrative in the tumblr transmasc community at this very second is that You Can Never Know and providing any kind of advice is invasive and possible misgendering which is in large part a backlash to transfem spaces where egg cracking is a thing you're supposed to actively do so a bunch of trans dudes saw jokes about forcefem and thought "but if someone forcefemmed me that would suck ass bc im not a woman and dont want to be one" as if "actually im a trans guy" or even "hey, please don't speculate on my gender it makes me uncomfortable" wouldnt immediately cause any transfem person irl who suggested you might be an egg to be like "oh sorry bro my bad" bc shes like a human being capable of processing additional data, so they all made a bunch of posts about how that extremely niche scenario would be really invasive and triggering which then had to be abstracted so it wasnt immediately obvious that theyre just getting really mad at some transfem on reddit talking about putting estrogen in the water supply, and then somehow became a major community talking point.

which i think is the problem, almost every horror story is "someone decided i must be [identity] and then didn't listen when I told them to stop", because if i say i don't wanna cut my hair and some trans girl says "yknow i felt like that too before i realized i was a girl" and then im like "oh i already tried being a girl and it wasnt for me" and thats the end of the conversation it's at worst a little awkward. ofc it's different if it's a cis person telling me it's proof i haven't entirely forsaken my womanhood but this is a classic case of "changing the words in a sentence changes the meaning". the fact that transandrophobia necessitates that cis and trans guys experience gendered treatment by society the same way means that you can't say "well this is fine if a trans person does it from a place of wanting to help and is respectful about it" because a fully actualized gnc trans guy and a feminine cis guy who's never been given encouragement to explore his gender have to be the same kind of person and not two groups of people with different circumstances who will be helped and hurt by different things.

[genderqueerdykes]

not a question but thank you so much for talking about transandrophobia omg. i feel like i’m going crazy when people try to assert trans men automatically gain all the privilege cis men have, or even that they deserve worse treatment for “wanting to be men.” being transmasc is truly beautiful <3

it literally drives me insane when people claim that trans men instantly gain cishet male privilege the second we come out. most if not all trans men never gain that privilege to begin with. they are not treated or viewed the same way as cishet men. they're clawing and fighting for their lives to be seen as men, period, let alone to be treated like a man, or to be given the benefits that come with being a cishet man.

and i've seen that too. that people think that trans men and mascs literally DESERVE to suffer and be treated like shit. i think that sentiment is really rampant right now. like pissed off transphobic transfems blame trans men for the issues they have with cisheternormative patriarchy and it's placing the blame on the wrong person. transmascs are not actively oppressing trans women by virtue of being men.

trans men are also systemically oppressed. like this sounds rude as hell but as someone who is transfeminine, i really have to sit here and say "the trans community isn't about you." like yes, the trans community is here for us transfems, we belong in general trans spaces just like everyone else. but the general trans community isn't the trans woman community. like i just hate that people are trying to chase out everyone but transfems at this point.

it's so pointless. so many transfems get indoctrinated into rad feminism and do rad fem's work for them by torturing trans men and telling them that they're just confused women. i have never, in my life, seen more corrective rape threats than i have when trans men start opening up about the oppression they face. hell i've gotten them from other transfems before. it's disgusting how we don't confront this behavior.

that is what cisheternormative society does to trans men. why are you perpetuating it from the inside? why are you proudly transphobic? why are you hurting people to try to relieve your pain? hurting someone else will never undo the damage done to you. it's the cycle of abuse. you have to break it. you can't allow the cisheternormative patriarchal cycle of abuse to be practiced within our own walls without it biting you in the ass, too. it's bullshit

[plaidos]

I've basically given up on the idea of rep for us, maybe Arcane really is the best treatment our allies can give us

I wouldn't be surprised if Dropout thinks drag queens count as rep for trans women honestly

well don’t give up. the reason you can’t find good “representation” for trans girls is because you’re looking for it in a netflix show and a company of lab-grown mcelroy brothers and children of career politicians. that isn’t to say we shouldn’t demand more — we should, this shit is dire — but there is plenty of tabletop stuff being made out there BY trans women ABOUT trans women BEING trans women and it’s not even that hard to find if you go on itch or just ask a girl who makes tabletop rpgs on this website. you could probably find dozens of transfem exclusive actual play podcasts — they just won’t have the same overproduced feeling or lost of snazzy special effects and celebrity guests (well. tme celebrity guests. it’s pretty easy to get Chelsea Manning on your podcast so i hear).

and that’s just actual play! like, this website in particular is full to the brim with independently made transfeminine art. webcomics have also often historically been spearheaded by (sometimes then-closeted) trans women — like here’s some webcomics about/by transfems that i personally like; Haus of Decline, close your eyes look at the mountains, Homestuck, Shencomix (well we’ll get him one day) — i hear Questionable Content and Dumbing of Age are made by the two biggest eggs in webcomic history and both comics have transfems galore in them too (go figure)

i… do really wish there were more transfems in animated tv though! the scraps we get are fucking dire.

[skele-bunny]

Can we get Sunny and Rory having a girl's day?

Self-Care. (No CW) Sunshine/Aurora

CW - NONE

Tags: Fluff, pampering, transfem Sunshine

Characters: Sunshine, Aurora

(Divider by @ wrathofrats !)

"Do you think it's okay to wear this, or am I gonna make the spa workers uncomfortable?"

"Oh, wear whatever you want! I got nervous, too, because of my whole downstairs thing and siblings being weird, but honestly? Water is water. I personally go nude."

Aurora hummed, looking at herself in the mirror, turning to see her pert ass on display in her bathing suit. Her tail swayed happily, and an equal smile went on her face. Sunshine had invited her out for a small date together, moreso just to take care of themselves. The older Ghoulette had reserved the Abbey's spa for 5 p.m. Their nails, hair, skin treatment all would be done along with a massage and time in the heated spring water.

Honestly? It was perfect. They've been needing a date, anyways.

The multi reached down and began to put on her casual clothes, bikini strings peeking ever so slightly at the top. Sunshine had just finished tying the lace of her skirt up before offering her hand, the two quickly linking together.

"Are you excited?" Sunny purred, holding the door open for her shorter mate.

"Oh, fuck yeah!" They shared laughter. "This is actually my first time getting to go! They're always so busy and booked, I kinda stopped attempting an appointment a few months ago."

"Oh, really? I'm actually a regular there at this point." Sunshine hummed, "Then I'm glad we can do this together."

The walk to the spa was a bit of a long one, having to wear their helmets as they crossed the threshold to the human section. They received waves and hellos as they passed, Aurora swaying their hands back and forth. It was a separate building, further away from the abbey as it settled right on top of the hot springs — obvious from the smoke chimney ever so slowly releasing steam.

Entering, the smell of an ocean breeze took over. Of course, it'd make sense for a majority of water ghouls to work here. Sunshine approached the front desk, checking them in and happily chatting to the Sister at reception. Aurora made herself comfortable on the soft couch, looking at all the decor in dim lights. This... Honestly was relaxing already and they haven't even started. It took a little bit longer before the door opened, Aurora filled with pure excitement as she got up and took the light ghoulette's hand again, being led through the hallway and into a giant space that connected.

The hot springs sat in the middle, massage chairs for pedicures and manicures along the wall, then two seperate stations for hair and makeup if requested. There was a few changing curtains propped up, and two doors that read "Mud Salon" and "Sauna."

"Ohh, damnit! If I knew I was bringing you, would've just upgraded us both to the full package instead of just matching you with me." Sun pouted. "I'm sorry Rory."

"No, no! It's okay! Honestly, I'm so excited to be here."

Sunshine smiled wider, leaning over and kissing her mate who giggled. They were handed bath robes temporarily, moving to the changing area to strip their casual clothes. Rory opted to keeping her bathing suit on despite Sunshine confirming they could be nude earlier, her comfort taking priority. As she exited, Sunny was waiting for her as were two water ghouls with two siblings.

"Hello!" The first water spoke. "We're going to start with your claws and face mask, does that sound alright?"

"Ohh, absolutely!" Aurora chirped, practically bouncing.

Led to the chairs, Aurora couldn't help but jump as the chair began to vibrate and knead into her back, purring once she got used to it — sending a quick glare to Sunshine as she snorted at the reaction. There was some kind of water drum being played over the speakers, Rory too occupied to not eat the tray of cucumbers next to her as the male water ghoul began to carefully place a face mask on her warm cheeks. The food she was eyeing was placed over her eyes, trying to relax and let herself be touched gently.

She could feel her left arm being rubbed, thumbs pressed into her flesh while her right leg was getting the same treatment. Each worker made their way down, massaging her hand, fingers, and toes before clipping down her nails. Honestly, Rory could've fallen asleep as they began to file down her claws. Both her hands and feet were soaked into warm water, and she's positive that's when she did fall asleep.

"Aurora," Sunny sang, causing the smaller ghoulette to hum and open her eyes. "Hi, sweetie! You okay?"

"Yeah, just got super comfortable."

"Good! They didn't want to wake you up, but I know you really wanted to experience this. Ended up picking out your nail color! Do you like it?"

The multi looked down, gasping as the gentle pink she adored on her claws. "Oh, I love it!"

"I knew you would!" Sunshine showed off her bright orange nails. "It's massage time, princess."

"Ohh, yes your majesty!"

The two began giggling, being led to a seperate room. They were settled right against each other as each knot, kink, and tight muscle was relieved. What Aurora didn't expect however, was her tail being included. She squealed as her tail base was rubbed, face turning dark.

"Holy shit, you gotta warn me before you do that." She laughed, the masseuse laughing with their own apology.

While still on the table, oils and treatment were placed on their skin, getting to smell each offered item and picking what they liked the most. By time they were done, both women were practically shining. They started talking back and forth in the salon chairs, getting trimmed and washed.

"—And then guess what I fucking seen? Rain! Leaving Mist's room!"

Aurora gasped. "Shut up! No you didn't! You are absolutely lying to me right now!"

"I'm so serious! And better yet? He was limping!!"

"Mist fucked him?!"

Sunshine nodded erratically, the two busting into laughter again. "Oh fuck this reminds me of the time I seen Cumulus peg Papa!"

This time, it was Sunshine's turn to scream.

After feeling absolutely perfected, ending their time in the hot springs was exactly what they needed. Aurora held Sunshine tightly as they cuddled together in the bubbling water. Purrs and silent kisses exchanged, little touches with promise of when they returned to the den.

"Thank you, for today." Rory mumbled.

"Of course, babe! I'm sorry we don't spend enough time together."

She simply shrugged. "Eh, we just stay so busy all the time! It's not your fault. I love cherishing what we do when we can."

The light ghoulette smiled, her teeth showing in that classic, perfect fashion. They leaned in, hands cupping one another's face as their lips intertwined. Aurora sat up more to take the lead, hand going down Sunshine's cheek to press against her collar bone. Pulling away after a moment, both of their eyes were half lidded, faces pink.

"Hey, Rory?" Sunshine hummed, wrapping her arms tight around her mate's hips.

"Yess?"

"Would you love me no matter what?"

"Of course!" Aurora tilted her head. "What kind of question is that?"

Sunshine giggled, mischief in her eyes. "This kind!"

Aurora didn't even get a second as Sunshine dunked them both underwater, resurfacing with loud laughs, Aurora splashing water on the other which quickly started a water war.