#also I've been sleeping like shit for a week now and I'd really like that to stop lol
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had a dream that I was video chatting with some friends, but when I turned on my camera I looked like I'd just crawled out of a horror movie, and the only thing I could think to say was "sorry I look like a bog witch today, guys - it's the testosterone."
#personal#dreams#not sure how the transmasc to bog witch pipeline works exactly#but I'd probably be down#also I've been sleeping like shit for a week now and I'd really like that to stop lol#I'm so tired#anyway. bog witch? more like blog witch#(I am forcibly dragged away by the wiccan side of tumblr)
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#tag talk#vent#I don't wanna do the whole “I'm so good at psychology cause I've fixed myself. I should go into counseling” thing that overly empathetic#empathetic people do. but like. nothing like deconstructing a tense social conflict to make you feel good#the smol autistic minecraft enby who adopted me had a moment and I helped break down the situation and resolve shit with them. it was cool#but also I immediately went out to the living room and napped for three hours. thinning that hard was exhausting.#do you ever do the depression nap thing? when I'm doing well I never sleep during the day. but when I'm sad I take naps a lot#because I don't want to be awake and I sleep poorly at I night and am just generally lethargic so I nap on the floor or couch a lot#ugh knowing the stress will go away doesn't help the fact that it's super awful right now.#it's times like this that I wish I'd really committed to it in Feb. like. in two weeks I'll be better and joy de vivre and all that.#but right now? ugh. big fuckin ugh#the minecraft emotional labor thing is just a natural responsibility of being a 25 year old playing online video games with 15 year olds.#if I see a situation blowing up I can't hear sit by and watch someone destroy their friendships on the server. I have to help#but also bro I am struggling to help myself. maybe I say I'm packing up my pc early so that I have a good excuse to stay off the server#I literally did the thing again where I make new friends. make everyone love me. and then get burnt out at the speed of light and disappear#making friends is so easy. leaving friends is so easy. nothing is forever and we all die someday. blah blah blah you know it already#meaningless meaningless. all is meaningless. maybe king Solomon was just fuckin depressed when he wrote that. sure sounds like it to me.#I just can't do anything when I'm like this. we're subsistence living now bois.#I wonder if part of my neurological damage is from the lead I used to eat in high school.#the windex shots can't have been good for me. but I don't think that stays in your body the same way#though it did fuck up my urinary tract for a few months. that was wild.#anyway. I wonder how much of my chronic periodic funk is just effects from bad choices and how much is normal natural inevitable.#everything is an ocean. nothing is a lake. the waves are always thirty feet high and the troughs scrape you on the bottom of the reef#nothing is midline except when you're rushing through to one extreme or another.#you're either overstimulated or absent from your body entirely#both of which cause wild and oft unbearable dissociation.#everything gets better and everything gets worse. I'm only like this when I'm stressed. but that's my secret cap (avengers reference)#anyway. I'll survive. I'll make it. I'll live because I need to become even more gay to make my family mad.#I need to keep living so my dad realizes just how much he's lost touch.#so my mom cries about how she should have done something differently so I wouldn't grow up gay. because that makes so much sense right?
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I got an ask for ya. I don't think anyone has asked this but I apologize if answered this...
What about if Mama gets pregnant? Will Abbie Rose be happy? How will Bucky react? Maybe he thought he would be able to get Mama pregnant because of his Hydra past. U can do with this what u will. Thank u, and I love our little family. Superb writing as always. B
Thank you, B!! 🥰 Wow! There's so much here to work with. Someone did ask about Abby being a big sister. In theory, she's so excited...in reality there might be big adjustment / jealousy issues our little family will need to work through. I'll try to find a link. Proud Papa Toys for New Baby
You're sitting on the bathroom floor, the chill from the tiles seeping into your skin. Tears silently tracking down your cheeks. You just finished a battle with nausea & dry heaves.
You jump at the light knocking on the bathroom door, "Doll? Are you ok?" Bucky could hear your heavings & stuttered breath. "Can I come in?" He tries the door and it's locked. He's about to panic when he hears the soft click of the lock. He slowly opens the door to find you on the floor & he closes the door, not wanting Abby to see you like this. "What's wrong?" Kneeling by your side, rubbing little circles onto your back.
"I got sick."
"Do you want me to take you to the med bay?" After the wedding, you and Abby moved into The Tower with Bucky.
"I'm also...late."
"Late for what?" You roll your eyes and cry harder. "Oh. OH!"
"I'm about 2 1/2 weeks late and..and I just threw up. I didn't think too much about being late because the stress of the wedding, moving here..."
In a stunned whisper, "And I told you I couldn't have children."
"You said that with HYDRA...the serum..."
"Its not possible."
"You're the only man I've been with! If I'm pregnant, the baby is yours."
Bucky frowns at you, "Of course the baby is mine! Did you think I'd question that?!"
"I don't know! I'm just scared."
"Shit," gathering you in his arms, "Doll, you're so..."
"Don't call me crazy!"
Kissing you on the forehead, "Wouldn't dream of it." His hand rest on your abdomen. "Do you really think you could be pregnant?"
Your sobs turn to hiccups, "I think I am."
Bucky picks you up and carries you back to bed, "We'll get you tested first thing in the morning, but for now, try and get more sleep. Don't worry about Abby, I'll get her ready for school & drop off. Get your rest." He pulls you back up against him. His hand still resting on your belly.
******
"Any word?" You jump at the sound of Bucky's voice from your doorway. "Sorry."
"Not yet." Bucky leans down for a kiss.
"Were you able to keep anything down today?"
"I had toast and some soup. I'm good." Your phone rings and caller ID say it's Dr. Cho. "It's her! It's her!"
Bucky runs back to shut the door & rushes to your side. "Mrs. Barnes."
"Hi Dr. Cho. I have you on speakerphone, Bucky is here."
"Sargent Barnes. Congratulations are in order." Both you and Bucky turn to each other wide eyed. "Baby Barnes should arrive early February of next year."
"Oh my God."
"Holy Fuck," you swat Bucky's arm. "Sorry! That's great news! Thank you so much."
"It is great news but I will be classifying this as a high risk pregnancy. We don't know the effects the serum will have on the baby. You'll need to be monitored closely."
"Of course, whatever you think is best!"
"I'll have a checkup calendar sent to you and Sgt Barnes."
"Yes, thank you so much!" You hang up the phone and Bucky's already swept you up in his arms.
"I put a baby in you." He laughs, "A super baby."
@waywardhunter95 @wintrsoldrluvr @rebeccapineapple @ordelixx @onceithough @thezombieprostitute @ilovetaquitosmmmm @julvrs @unaxv @s-a-v-a-n-a-34 @winterslove1917 @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @mrsnikstan @hisredheadedgoddess28 @itsteambarnes @otterlycanadian @purplecolordeer @samsgirl93 @buckitostan @littleredwolf @mcucatlady @silas-aeiou @hzdhrtss @florie1 @thecubanator2 @enchantedbarnes @selella @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @cjand10 @pancake-05 @ozwriterchick @crazyunsexycool @baw1066 @nommingonfood @jvanilly
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Eyeless Jack Headcanons 💉🩸 [NSFW]
I just wanted to re-write my more NSFW headcanons since it's been a little while since I made them original post and I think I've improved with both my writing and my layouts. If you want some more SFW content with him (romantic, platonic or general) please feel free to ask ^_^ I hope you guys enjoy!!
WARNING: 18+/NSFW Content!! [Monster fucking (obviously), Marking, Breeding, Heats, mentions of sadism, implied cannibalism]
MY HUSBAND I LOVE HIM /hj
Jack is very awkward the first few times he had sex with someone.
Now, he isn't the most experienced with those types of interactions but that isn't why he's awkward.
He just finds it a bit odd that you'd want to do that with him... I mean... He's a literal demon.. Not someone most would want to fuck.
But he's still open to doing those things once he gets more comfortable.
Just be patient with him, he just wants to wait till later in a relationship.
But once he is comfortable? NGH-
Let's start off by saying that he is bigger than the average human.
About 8 inches long and 2 inches thick!
The tip is an inky black colour and is really shiny for some reason?
His cock also has some noticeable bumps along the bottom that feel amazing inside of you. 🤤
Jack also shaves about once a month for sanitary reasons but would be fine with shaving more often if you asked nicely.
He starts out pretty slow since he doesn't want to hurt you but once he gets into it he starts being really really rough-
He'll pin you down and scratch you up, pounding as hard as he can. (it hurts but it's worth it tbh)
He also ends up biting you a lot.
It's normally pretty light, not hurting you too much but if he's close? He'll bite hard enough to take a good chunk out of you-
Has definitely broken skin more times than either of you can count.
But the aftercare can make up for it! I promise!
But other than marking you up with scratches and bites he also likes to try and breed you..
Even if you can't get pregnant he's still gonna fill you up with all the cum he can, especially when he's in heat. It's really all he thinks about when he's in that state!
His heats can last from two days up to a week so good luck if you offer to help him <3 🥰
He might be a bit of a sadist when in heat as he acts a lot meaner and a lot more aggressive!
A LOT more.
(Thank god this man knows how to stitch you back up...)
And of course I can't talk about Jack without talking about his multiple tongues. 😌
Three long, slimy, black tongues...
So it's safe to say that he could eat you out like a 5 star meal. (eating you in both ways if you really want)
He can put two tongues inside of you and use the third to tease you. Now that's gotta be 10/10 experience!!
He's also normally on top and unless you're somehow stronger than him, (you'd probably have to be some sort of inhuman creature) if you ask as just a regular human he'll probably say no.
I'd rate this as an 11/10 (this is biased)
Aftercare ^_^
Absolutely necessary, actually needs to do things for you after sex for your sake-
He'll stitch you up and make sure you aren't bleeding or super sore.
Helps you take a quick shower or bath and then bandages you up.
Jack is also super sweet after sex and cuddles you (still being super careful and gentle) and waits till you fall asleep.
After you're asleep he either stays with you and sleeps or he gets out of bed (making sure not to wake you up) and goes out to hunt! (or just grab some food from the cooler in his room)
10/10 experience, would recommend!!
And done!! I hope you enjoyed my re-write, if you wanna see the older post you can find it on my Masterlist or by clicking Here!
Please reblog since likes don't do shit on Tumblr and feel free to send an ask as my ask box is currently open!! ^_^
-Fizz
(Eyeless Jack dividers by @sister-lucifer)
#creepypasta#creepypasta x reader#creepypasta smut#creepypasta headcanons#eyeless jack headcanon#eyeless jack#eyeless jack x reader#eyeless jack smut#eyeless jack x male reader#eyeless jack x reader smut
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Hi everyone. It's been a while—exactly a month since I last posted to this blog. How have you been?
A month isn't really all that long, but it's enough time to be able to look at everything that happened and understand it better. In the end, the whole situation (I've been calling it The Fuckening in my head) really didn't have anything to do with me. I was unlucky enough to run across someone willing to hurt anyone they could for attention, but also lucky enough that everyone who mattered to me in this fandom went to bat for me.
So I’ve decided to come back to this blog. I'll be posting about call of duty again as well as posting my writing. I also plan to blog about other fandoms (I’d already been doing it anyway); I've been getting back into rdr2, for example, and there's some writing I'd like to do for that.
There’s more context which I’ll put below the cut, but that’s the most important part of what I have to say; I often regret how long winded I can be, so the rest is just self indulgence if you can forgive it. I’ve thought a lot about this choice and I’m satisfied with my decision. I hope none of you will mind.
So, lol, things were not great outside of fandom stuff when it all kicked off, though I didn’t mention it publicly because we all know by now that asking for any sympathy when you’re the target of a mob is more likely to just get you raked over the coals harder. I’m still not entirely sure about talking about all of this, but I have a bad tendency to clam up when I really should be asking for support. So:
I mentioned briefly before the accusations started flying that I was dealing with bedbugs—turns out it was actually something else, but leading up to a doctor’s visit I was convinced I had an infestation, and I was stripping my bed every day to look for them. I had alarms set to wake me up twice a night to see if I could catch them, so I was not sleeping all that well. I couldn’t find anything, but I had no other explanation, and it was driving me fucking crazy. Post doctor visit it turns out I had a viral infection. No idea where I caught it, and nothing to do but wait it out. I had a massive, gnarly looking rash all over my body, and to add insult to injury I developed a fever that took me out for a whole weekend. (I’m recovered now but I have a nifty new scar on my hip from getting a biopsy.)
Next to that, I was having some PTSD flareups of my own. This was (mostly) unrelated to The Fuckening. Now, I understand that that might be hard to believe, given “Myka’s” claims, and I can’t make you believe me. Nor will I provide details to convince you, other than to say there were some things going on in my neighborhood that recalled a period of time in my life that was extremely unstable, and I found myself irrationally terrified to go home every day. For those of you who don’t experience the symptoms of PTSD, I think it’s appropriate to note that it isn’t just emotional turmoil; I, personally, experience physical pain in my entire body that lingers for hours, days, or even weeks after being triggered. (Everything regarding this, too, is fine now. I have a great therapist and a supportive family.)
All of this to say, I wasn’t exactly thinking rationally when I decided to leave this blog and fandom. And I regretted the decision almost instantly.
However, I didn’t want to let grief make any decisions for me, and also I was still VERY scared Myka was going to hunt down my personal information and either dox or harass me elsewhere. I think this fear was justified; it has happened to other writers in this fandom before.* So I decided to take some time to cool off and watch the situation develop without me.
I don’t think I need to get into the details—although if you’re interested in them, @fulltacs has been keeping track of the drama. Given the most recent development with the four obviously sock puppet blogs that popped up and immediately began stirring shit up again, I realized Myka probably would have done what she did with or without me. I just so happened to give her the ammunition she needed to do something REALLY big. It was pure bad luck.
(Also—and I’m sorry if this is just stirring the pot, but after everything they did to me I feel I deserve to make the accusation—I’ve suspected for a while that the two loudest blogs leading the witch hunt against me were far more involved in this farce than anyone has assumed. I have no proof and I do not want anyone to do anything about it on my behalf, leave them the fuck alone. But I will not forget the distress they caused me for a long fucking time, and the only way for me to let this go is to say my piece. So there. Done. Let that be the end of it.)
Having this hindsight, I feel comfortable coming back. I’m still very touched by everyone’s support, which in the end was louder than the harassment. I also think it’s important for people who care about fighting racism in any community not to run at the first sign of trouble, which I did, and I feel pretty sorry for.
That’s the gist of things. If you’ve read all of this, thank you for doing so!
*I was going to add a paragraph about halfmoth-halfman’s situation but decided against it. For one thing, she wants to be left alone, and for another, talking about the experiences of fans of color, particularly black fans, deserves its own post separate from my white experience, if I should even post about it at all.
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Adopted Spider Headcanons (Metkayina Edition)
I've been reading fics where Spider's adopted by Ronal and Tonowari the past couple days and now I'm obsessed. The problem is that I mostly write angst and I really wanna read hurt/comfort, lol.
I feel like the typical/common way that I see Spider get taken in is basically him doing his little beach bum shit after everything and slowly getting adopted into their family. And I eat it up. Every. Single. Time.
Spider: *Building a campfire, roasting his own food* Ronal/Tonowari/Tsireya or Anoung: *Why is the Sully's adoptive son alone on the beach?* *Oh well, mine now*
I feel like Ronal would definitely be way at first, she's made it no secret that she strongly dislikes Sky People. But, I'd imagine that eventually, she comes to see him not just as a human, but as a child. And a child who is alone and in need of help.
Aounung would probably be the same. I have this idea of him giving Spider a hard time (after all the carnage/damage/dead people have been handled). Like, trying to mess with him as much as possible, just being an asshole. And then, maybe Spider goes under for a long time while Aounung is on the beach weaving or something. And, even though Spider has a mask and can breath underwater as well as he does above it, Aounung somehow forgot that and freaks, thinking the human has drowned.
Aounung tossed his half-repaired net aside, diving into the water. He whipped around, eyes catching on the mess of dirty blond. Pushing further, he grabbed the boy by the armpits, shooting to the surface and pulling the human onto land. He flipped him over, meeting confused eyes as he placed a hand on his chest. He was breathing fine, not even panting from being under for so—
Spider's mask glinted in the sun. Aounung was an idiot.
"Are you . . . okay?" The smaller boy asked hesitantly, making no move to sit up.
"You were under for a long time." He mumbled, pulling away.
Spider's face split into a grin. "Did you— did you think I was— "
"Quiet." He hissed, standing up. "We will never speak of this again."
Spider's laughter followed him as he stormed away.
I feel like with Tsireya, she would've immediately been all over him. Like, this is Spider, Lo'ak's supposed best friend. The human boy who acted just like he was Na'vi. It probably started mostly as curiosity, but I think that after seeing how the Sully's interacted with Spider, she'd be confused about his place, his family. If Spider didn't sleep in the Sully's marui, didn't eat with them— then where did he do those things?
Tsireya glided along the water, Lo'ak a few feet from her. "Why doesn't Spider stay in your marui?"
Lo'ak raised a brow. "Uh . . . I don't know. He lives with the humans, I guess. Always has."
"But . . . the humans left after helping Kiri. They have not returned."
"They . . . they haven't?" He cleared his throat. "I'm sure Dad has it handled. There's probably a new shack or something for him."
Consider Spider's mask running low and there isn't a spare anywhere. As a kid, he never was gone from the shack long enough for his battery to run low and during his time with the recoms, there were always spares in someone's pack when he needed it. Idk how long the masks last, but for my own sake, I'm going to say Spider got a new one the day of the battle and it lasted him about a week. Or maybe, he managed to pillage one as the ship went down so he's on his second and it's like two weeks or so.
I think that when he saw the little red light flashing, a small beep-beep sounding, that he'd probably be like a kid who forgot there was a test. He'd just panic. But, I imagine he'd also be scared to bother the Sully's by telling them, so he'd spend the next hour searching the village (discreetly) to see if there were any pilfered batteries or masks left behind when the humans visited. Let's say he has two hours from when the mask starts flashing to change it out. And where, oh where, does he wind up when he's got a half-hour left?
Spider was not panicking. Because, when a human panicked, they breathed faster and wasted more air. Norm told him that, so it had to be true. But, he'd checked everywhere he could think of and . . . nothing. There was no shack, no Norm or Max to run to before his timer ran out. No humans. Only him. And in a matter of . . . fuck, twenty minutes, he was going to die just like a human.
He sat slumped on the beach, looking out into the water and trying his best not to openly sob. He didn't want to die crying like a little baby. It was not working out well for him. At least, he'd have a good view when he died.
"Child? What is wrong?"
Spider flinched, looking up with wide eyes at the clan leader. He'd only talked to Tonowari once, when Jake had introduced him. Of course, given his spectacular luck, the man would find him when he was on death's doorstep.
With a sniffle, he held up his beeping pack. "It's almost out. Twenty minutes."
The man frowned down, grasping the device carefully. "And that is why you're so upset? Because, you don't wish to go into the village for a new one? Did something happen? Someone make you feel unwelcome?"
"There is no new mask." There was also no home to go back to. "That was my only one."
With a cut-off gasp, he pulled Spider to his feet. He marched the boy through the village and into what he recognized as the healer's marui. The Tsahik was mixing something, but she stood as soon as they entered.
"Tonowari?" She asked, stepping closer. "What happened? Is he hurt?"
"His mask, where's the spare?"
Wordlessly, the woman pulled a mask from one of the many baskets, easily connecting the tubing and turning it on. Like, she'd done it before. Spider had no time to ask why she had such a thing before she was right in front of him.
"Take a deep breath." She ordered, unlatching the straps of his mask before pulling it off. Just as quickly, the new one was secured. Spider hadn't even moved.
I think that even before deciding to adopt Spider, Tonowari and Ronal would probably make sure he had spare masks and check what food he could/couldn't eat. Like, as soon as they realize the Sully's aren't caring for him, they'd probably subconsciously take responsibility for him. Because, he was just a kid, really. And kids were clumsy and careless and needed help, needed parents. Anoung and Tsireya, despite being independent and skilled, still needed their parents sometimes. Let their mother do their hair and insisted on their father de-gutting their catches. And Spider— Spider is fragile. He's skilled and smart and quick on his feet, but he's a human surrounded by Na'vi. Not to mention, one wrong move and he's left with a cracked mask. And what if he eats the wrong food, mistakes one fruit for another and ends up poisoned?
This ended up way longer that I thought it would be, lol. But, I really love these types of fics and if anyone has any recs or wants to hear more, my comment section is open. XD
#atwow spider#spider avatar#avatar#atwow#avatar fanfiction#avatar way of water#spider#miles spider socorro#atwow fanfiction#tsireya#anoung#tonowari#ronal#adopted spider socorro
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The 'Batfam on Reddit' post was fun and I won't mind another one! (I have nothing specific in mind besides more sibling shenanigans)
Going down the list, here's Jason
———————
Posted to r/AmITheAsshole by user local-zombie
AITA for changing my grandpa's cookie recipe?
Earlier this week, one of my (22M) sisters decided to fill my rifle with purple glitter. As revenge, I swapped the salt and sugar before she made her waffles this morning. Prank worked, yada yada, that's not why I'm here though.
See, like a dumbass, I forgot to switch them back. I've been running on 4 hours of sleep and I'm not even home half the time, sue me. It didn't really hit me until I was watching my grandpa make his signature chocolate chip cookies.
This was some cinematic shit, I tell you. Everything happened in slow motion. Before I could say anything, he dumped an entire cup of salt into the batter followed by a teaspoon of sugar and started the stand mixer. It seemed then that all was lost.
Out of nowhere, my dad—and I can't believe I'm saying this—descended like an angel from the heavens and asked my grandpa to help him with his hair. And lucky for me, I'm the only other person trusted to be in the kitchen. My grandpa told me to put the cookies in the oven before he went upstairs.
This is where I might be the asshole.
I needed to fix the dough immediately, so I added extra sugar and chopped up some caramel candy to (hopefully) turn it into some halfway-decent salted caramel chocolate chip cookies. Then I scooped them out, threw them in the oven, and prayed harder than the goddamn Pope himself.
Apparently God had a high call volume though, because as soon as the plate hit the table, my ENTIRE family knew something was up, like a bunch of fucking detectives or some shit. And they immediately blamed me. They're not wrong, but the fact that that's their first reaction is totally unjustified.
Anyway, now my family's pissed off and my dad thinks I should've just told gramps, but I think trying to fix the situation should count for something. So, Reddit, AITA?
Comments
bluebirdz: Did they taste good? |— local-zombie: Not like the original, but a solid 7/10 |—— bluebirdz: All's well that ends well. NTA
redrobin: yta |— local-zombie: At least provide some reasoning |—— redrobin: no
starfire: NTA but next time give them a heads up |— your-tired-librarian: Also voting NTA but OP should've fessed up from the beginning. |—— thatpurplething: I'm saying YTA for the waffle part |——— orphanized: not relevant |———— thatpurplething: It is to me
i-am-the-darkness-i-am-the-light: NTA for the way you handled it, that was pretty smart. YTA for tampering with food as a prank tho :/
notmysecretanimeaccount: You are indeed the donkey cavity for the poor setup and execution. |— local-zombie: Dude just say ass |—— notmysecretanimeaccount: Ass cavity. Happy? |——— local-zombie: Not what I was thinking but I'll take it |———— lesbian-premium: Congratulations on the worse conversation the internet's ever had
kyle-rayner: YTA. Just in general
assenal: nta. your family is overreacting
dickwings: soft yta. how would you feel if you were expecting one thing but got blindsided by something completely different? |— local-zombie: I'd just deal with it instead of whining like a pissbaby pretty boy |—— dickwings: nvm make that a hard yta |——— local-zombie:🖕
kitty-central: ESH. You for what you did, your family for how they reacted |— pennyworthy: At last, a sensible answer.
official-batman: YTA. And grounded.
#jason todd#red hood#dick grayson#tim drake#damian wayne#duke thomas#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#barbara gordon#harper row#kate kane#alfred pennyworth#selina kyle#bruce wayne#batman#red hood and the outlaws#batfamily#batfam#incorrect batfamily quotes#batbros#batboys#batgirls#batkids#batsiblings#batman family#incorrect quotes#incorrect dc quotes#dc comics#headcanon#tw swearing
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I thought I try my hand at writing a little story about being 141's assistant. I'm not sure where I'm taking this or even if I should continue. Let me knoww but be sweet. This is literally my first attempt at writing anything
Warnings~ cussing, slightly anxious ? Idk
Y/n pov
He's staring right at me. Slouching slightly to his left, strands of blue dyed hair peeking out underneath his hat. He clearly hasn't been sleeping, I can see the dark circles under his eyes. I don't think I’ve seen him blink once. This is too much. Too fucking much I'm starting to fidget with the belt of my purse, shifting back n forth trying to ease my nerves. I'm overwhelmed and overestimated. This bus smells worse than a gas station bathroom, it doesn't help it’s hotter than the damn desert in here, my sweater is starting to itch and the constant sound of the buses bell going off is enough to make my head explode. GOD why did my car have to break down today? sweat is beading my forehead I feel nauseous. GOD DOES THIS MAN EVER BLINK?!? *ding* fuck finally my stop. I've never been more relieved in my life to leave somewhere... stepping outside I feel like I can breathe again not by much though, last night, laying in bed i got a call from my father's friend Laswell telling me to meet her at a Cafe not too far from my home. Usually, I wouldn't be so nervous to see her, being Laswell and my father worked together for the past 10 years. She’s been around quite a few times but this time She spoke about a potential job opportunity as an assistant overseas. I'm not even sure I heard her right, i was a bottle deep into Apothic red wine. Nothing special but drink enough it’ll knock you on your ass. I've been anxious ever since. After finishing my associates degree in mind and body psychology, I wasn't sure I wanted to continue with school. Maybe I just need a break, but I also need a job. I take one final deep breath to attempt to calm my nerves as I wipe my sweaty palms down my jeans. Okay now’s the time to be confident y/n don't freak out .....
There she is sitting with her back against the wall right in between both exits like always. I'd say she's paranoid but with the work she does it's more justifiable. Laswell stands to greet me "Y/n , it's great to see you!" She moves to sit, and I follow. " it's good to see you too Kate, it's been awhile" . Lunch goes by smoothly; it always was easy falling into conversation with her. A red headed waitress with long legs and black trim glasses drops us our check before walking off to tend to her other tables. My eyes follow her as she passes, she's one of those girls who are effortlessly beautiful. Laswell gains my attention again " so your father tells me you are looking for work"
" I am"
"I could use someone I trust"
"Tell me more"
.....
It'd been two weeks since I met with Laswell, and I accepted the job offer. She explained it mainly consist of filing paperwork and doing whatever task ask of me, running errands, and so on. Kate didn't really give me any details of who I'd work for, just that it was four men she trusted with her life and assured me I'd be in good hands. Today's the day I get on a plane and uproot my whole life. I spent every bit of yesterday taking care of last-minute arrangements. I sold my piece of shit Honda to some high school kid . I almost felt bad for taking his money, but I told him of its issues. In a way I'ma miss Johnny. I named my car after a porn star, Johnny Sins. Ha. It still makes me chuckle . My honda wasn't much, but it always got me where I needed to be hints the name. After taking care of my car I went to see my father. He graciously agreed to look after my apartment for me while I was gone. We spent the rest of the evening watching old westerns on TV and saying our goodbyes.
.....
It's only four hours into the flight, and I'm already regretting my decision. I've spent most of the time in the bathroom emptying my stomach while avoiding angry knocks on the door. The taste of bile in my mouth makes me a little less caring about the people outside. Deciding I can't spend the rest of the flight in the bathroom, I pick myself off the floor and do my best to rinse my mouth. Flying has never sat right with me. I like my feet on the ground instead of tempting God. Regardless, I have to tough it out, its not like I can get them to land now. I walk out the restroom, mumbling hushed, apologizes, and take my seat. Just six more hours.. you got this y/n.
#cod x reader#call of duty#mw2#simon riley#captain john price#johnny soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick
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Hello, I thought I'd put a request through properly on my 'official' account 🤍
I have a request because I adore your writing and love how you write Daryl 😭
You can take it wherever you want one shot, drabble etc
I've been recovering from a brain injury and for the first time ever last week I got to see the Northern Lights/Aurora and for a moment I forgot everything and the emotion that I felt was just urgh, no words to describe it but it was AMAZING and this little idea popped into my head along the lines of :
Reader always being fascinated with the stars, sunsets, night skies and the moon etc. Always preferring to sleep under the moon or in the moonlight and because you never know when you will be able to see the Aurora until it's actually there, the reader noticed something different about the sky a pink glow which developed into full blown aurora/Northern Lights the longer reader and Daryl wait/watch.
It's just an idea 🤍 I understand if you don't want to write something like that.
daryl x reader drabble
note: The thing that really gets to me is how often writers overlook just how incredible the night sky would be without light pollution.
and also @fluffy-dixon ilysm thank u for the love x
You had fallen in love with the sky even more since the world went to shit. Without the city lights to mask its beauty, the night now stretched out in an endless canvas of stars, brighter than you ever remembered. The moon felt closer too, as if it could reach down and graze the earth with a cool, silvery hand. You’d always loved sleeping beneath it—there was something comforting about its silent glow, a reminder that the world, even in its broken state, could still be beautiful. So any chance you could get, in the small in between nights of rare safety, you would sleep under the stars.
Tonight, you find yourself lying on the damp grass, the air crisp and cool against your skin. You can hear Daryl beside you, his breathing steady and low, a quiet rhythm that anchors you in the dark. You turn your gaze upward, the scattered stars glittering in the soft glow of the milky way, and you think about how the sky feels more like home now than any place you've slept in years.
It’s then that you notice it—a faint pink glow creeping along the horizon, like the sky itself is blushing. You sit up, your breath hitching slightly as you stare. “Daryl,” you murmur, your voice barely breaking the quiet, but he’s already noticed. He shifts beside you, eyes narrowing as he looks up.
"What’s that?” he asks, his voice rough, curious.
You shake your head slowly. “I think… it’s the Northern Lights,” you whisper, almost afraid to say it out loud, as if speaking might chase it away. You’d read about them once, how unpredictable they were, how you could never really know when they’d appear. And now, against all odds, here they are, soft waves of pinks and greens slowly unfurling across the sky like an ethereal dance.
Daryl doesn’t say anything. You can feel his gaze flicker between the sky and you, as if unsure which is more worth watching. The corners of your mouth twitch into a small, wonderstruck smile, your eyes wide with awe. You feel his hand brush yours, a brief, awkward attempt at comfort or maybe just connection. It’s enough to make your heart skip, the warmth of his rough fingers grounding you in the cold night.
The pink glow deepens, giving way to deeper greens and purples, swirling like a living painting. You don’t know how long you sit there, mesmerized, the two of you side by side in the soft glow. It’s like the world’s trying to remind you that there’s still magic here, even in the ruins.
“Didn’t think I’d ever see somethin’ like this,” he mutters, a hint of wonder creeping into his usually gruff voice.
“Me neither,” you admit, voice soft and a little raw. When you look over to him, his eyes are on you, and the reflection of the dancing light above you is breathtaking in his deep blue eyes.
You hold his gaze for a moment longer, the rare softness still lingering in his eyes, before you both wordlessly shift back onto the grass. You settle in, your head turning to watch the lights above—but it’s not enough. The colors feel like they’re pulling you closer to him, as if the night itself wants you to be nearer.
You shift again, this time leaning over to rest your head on his chest, your ear pressed against the beat of his heart. He tenses at first, his breath catching, and for a brief moment, you wonder if you’ve pushed too far. But then you feel it—the way his chest slowly rises and falls beneath you, the way he seems to settle into the closeness.
His arm hesitates, hovering just for a second, before wrapping around you fully, pulling you in tighter against him. You hear the faintest, almost awkward sigh escape him, as if he’s trying to figure out how to hold onto the peace of this moment. The tension in his body fades, replaced by a quiet acceptance that makes your heart ache a little.
The sky’s colors continue to swirl and shift above, but your focus is on the warmth of him, the way his hold becomes more certain as the minutes pass. There, beneath the luminous dance of the Northern Lights, you allow yourself to simply exist—safe, close, and understood, without a single word spoken.
#ask daryltwdixon#Daryl Dixon drabbles#daryl x reader#daryl one shot#daryl dixion imagine#daryl twd#fluffy-dixon
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You’re so good at transforming others so I was wondering if I could thank you by transforming you. Who do you want to become? 😊💪
I am almost 27 years old. I graduated from university almost two years ago. Since then, I have been working for an auditing company, auditing the risk management systems of banks. Not a particularly erotic job. But well paid. I travel a lot and my working hours are also less from 09:00 to 17:00. Not good conditions for getting back into shape. I used to be a competitive athlete. Open-water swimming. My shoulders and back are still quite broad… But the waist is no longer as narrow as it was in my best days. Well… The course of life, I would say…
Sunday morning. Normally I would sleep in, go somewhere for breakfast, then maybe do a bit of work. But today I feel like going for a run. At 06:00 in the morning. In the drizzle. I'm really crazy! But running clears my head. After just under an hour, I pass an outdoor gym in the city park. Yawning empty in this weather, of course. I really enjoy it! It's almost 10:00 when I get back home. Now for a hot shower. Uh, no. A cold shower! Hardens off. And then breakfast. Low-fat quark, protein powder, bananas, some fruit. Doesn't taste particularly good. But gives me the energy I need. A bit of Resident Evil 3 to relax. And around 3 p.m. I have to make my way to the stadium. Kick-off is at 5:30 p.m., and I'd like to be in my regular place in the south curve at 4 p.m. Getting in the mood with the boys. Highlight of the week!
Hehehe, that was a good brawl with the opponent's fans last night. That's a good black eye… And my lip is still a bit swollen too. Looks a bit dangerous. Despite the crisp white shirt, navy blue suit and polished black Oxfords. Even after a year on the job, I still haven't got used to getting up early on Mondays. Mondays are usually at 03:30. An hour of push-ups and a bit of weights training, as best I can at home. And then get ready, go to the airport and usually the plane takes off at 07:00 or so. And then I'm back to being the good auditor candidate. It's not as if the job isn't fun. But especially after the weekends, which are packed with hard training and fun with the lads in and around the stadium, the changeover is tough. I can only hope that none of my customers or colleagues ask me who beat me up like that at the weekend. I can't say that I'm one of the militant Ultra fans… Well, if anyone asks, I'll say that it happened during boxing training. They'll take my word for it. At the latest when I take off my jacket and people see my shirt, which looks like it's been painted onto my skin, nobody questions the boxer in me anymore.
05:30 on a Tuesday morning. An hour's run, then an hour's workout in the hotel gym, breakfast, 09:00 at the client's desk. A routine that I would never have expected a few weeks ago when I was doing my Master's degree. With your criminal record, the blatant undercut, the tattoos on your neck and the back of your hands, you'll never get a serious job, my parents complained. But damn it, I'm clever, I'm disciplined and I'm hungry for success. In the cage at MMA, in the fan curve at the stadium, at university and now at work. And fuck, when I show up at a customer's in a suit that perfectly accentuates my athletic figure, I'm surrounded by an aura of respect. Even if I'm the rookie in the project. For the first few days, my colleagues tried to persuade me to go out for dinner or a drink with them in the evening. Not in the mood! I found a club near the hotel where I can train properly in the evenings. Not the kind of wimpy workout I get at the hotel.
I'm so fed up with this fucking Master's thesis. Pumping, eating, fighting… This is what I live for! I've been working at the martial arts school since I got my bachelor's degree. On the one hand in accounting. And also as a trainer. Shit, why do I even want anything else? Would I like it better if I became an desk jockey in some office? I suspect not.
I love the moment when I open my gym in the morning. The sweat from last night is still in the air. Whoever had the last shift yesterday didn't leave anything tidy. I do my rounds and stuff forgotten socks, jockstraps and water bottles into the lost-and-found box. Okay, I wank on it again first. There's nothing like the smell of a used jockstrap that's still a little damp. I don't officially open for another hour, so I have that long to get my body ready for the day with the weights and sandbag. Let's see how full it gets. The place isn't yet self-sustaining. But with my jobs as a bouncer and my OF account, I'm more than able to keep my head above water. At least my tattoo artist doesn't have to worry about me not paying my bills. It's better that way. After all, it's his job to make sure I'm scary!
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Stuff That Helps Me Write: Pacing (no, not that kind), and burnout avoidance
So this was supposed to be about something entirely different., but every time I started making a point, I got distracted by a second, bonus idea (ways to trick your brain when it's not cooperating with you! things I've tried (I will try everything) and what worked and didn't! what to do with writer's block!) and then start writing about that, and I've got half a dozen unrelated paragraphs going in my drafts, so I think I'm just going to make this a mini-series of 'stuff that helps me write and may also help you (or maybe they won't, I don't know, this shit's all subjective)'.
If there's anything in particular you'd like to hear about, or something about my process you're curious about, absolutely feel free to reply or shoot me an ask and I'll do my best to address them as I go.
But yeah, pacing. And more specifically, not burning out. I figured it was important I hit this one first, because I think it's the most important one, or at least, the one that makes the biggest difference.
With the caveat that I am someone who has repeatedly driven myself into burnout, I'm also someone who now knows why that is, and have been teaching myself how to, you know, not do that.
So. Here's how I, you know, don't do that.
Will preface this by again mentioning that most writing advice (and advice in general) never seemed to work for me, and I mostly thought I was just Bad at Doing Things, until I learned my brain's literally wired differently, and that I'd been trying to apply processes that didn't actually work for said wiring.
So instead, I figured out what worked for me. And what works for me isn't necessarily what will work for you, or even what will work for me a month or five years down the line, but it's going okay right now.
I'll straight up say that, contrary to all the Writing Advice, I don't write every day, and I don't think it's necessary, or even necessarily a good idea -- I have at times, but I no longer do, because if I write for more than six days straight I find the proverbial well dries up and I write less than I do had I just taken a break when I needed it.
Cognitive energy and the sort of ephemeral ~inspiration (work that's been done on a subconscious level) are fundamentally no different than physical energy: if you don't replenish it, you will run out. If you overdo it, you will run out. If you consistently overdo it without replenishing it, you will burn out.
Taking a page from hockey players here: if you did an intense workout right before a game they'd ask what the fuck was the matter with you. You need a nap and a meal and to get some stretching and light work in. Running at 100% all the time will burn you out in every single field, including this one.
That's not me saying not to run at 100% at all. I generally try to pace myself now, but if I'm really in it, and the words are coming easily, I don't stop until they stop -- I wrote just shy of 4k of later scenes for SAIT last week (my 2024 record!), all in one sititng, by hand, when I was supposed to be sleeping, because that's when the inspiration came. I didn't fall asleep until past 6am that night, and my hand is still mad at me.
But you know how much writing I got done the follow day? (None, I was busy transcribing 4k of handwriting). The rest of this week? (Not much more than that). Those bursts of energy are awesome, and honestly can make you feel like a writing god, but the well's the well, and I've learned my personal well is about 5000 words a week deep.
Before my most recent scrape with autistic burnout, which I'm still sort of climbing my way out of, that well was closer to 7500 words. But honestly, it probably wasn't; I was likely just siphoning words from future wells and then it all caught up with me when I was looking at a horizon of dry-ass wells ahead of me. (I'll admit this isn't a perfect metaphor.)
But seriously, my advice for basically everything, not just writing (and something I wish I'd learned before I hit my 30s), is 'figure out what pace you can work at sustainably'.
Please note that 'sustainably' is not 'without literally dying'. Because my literal ass thought when people said 'give it 100%' they meant, you know, 'give it 100%' (I know! absurd of me), rather than 'give the best effort you can give in this moment considering your current resources'. So I gave it my all (also interpreted that one wrong I guess?). And then I wondered why I kept hitting a wall all the time. And why, eventually, I stopped being able to climb that wall entirely.
I don't think I'm ever going to reach that 7500 word threshold again. There will be weeks I'm so inspired I write that much, but the next week I probably won't manage more than 2500. Or maybe I'll have two 7500 weeks in a row, but I'll need to take a whole week off after that, or spend several weeks working at a lower tempo while I let the well replenish itself.
I've been tracking some metrics quite closely as I sort of tweak my life into its new shape (said shape being 'do the best you can given your resources') , and during my most productive month of this year I wrote 3x as much as the worst (writing wise, I was finalising publication at the time), my current weekly average is about 4800 words. Sometimes it's a bit higher or lower, sometimes much higher or lower, but that's what I can sustainably do right now.
Frankly, I'm a little cranky about this: I know I can do more, because I did do more. But my priority now is not to send myself straight back into burnout again, so when I sprint, it's just that, rather than my previous 'trying to run a marathon at the pace of a sprinter'. I'm writing less than I used to, but it's honestly not that much less: because the pace is sustainable rather than boom and bust, I don't run myself ragged enough to desperately need a break.
I'm aware this advice only works if you have control over your own time, and a schedule that doesn't force you to focus on writing say, one day a week, or around other obligations, but the only real workaround for burnout is consistency, and that consistency cannot be your maximum.
Or, it can, but I guarantee you that will bite you in the ass at some point, and the pain of not getting enough done is nothing compared to the pain of not being able to get anything done because your nervous system threw up its hands and decided if you weren't going to listen to their clues (feelings, symptoms) or their warnings (Feelings, Symptoms) that you were overdoing it, they were going to shut your ass down until you listened.
0/10 do not recommend.
Next week: how to trick your brain into doing shit that it doesn't feel like doing, even though it's onto all your tricks by now. Or at least, how I trick mine.
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Turtle Doves | Joel Miller
Part Five
Chapter Directory
Series Summary: In which two broken souls connect so deeply, that if one should perish, the other would surely die of a broken heart. (slow burn, timeline changes. After TLOU1, before TLOU2, assumed knowledge of infected, uses elements from both show and game)
Series Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, death, and sexual content.
Also cross-posted on Wattpad and AO3. Link to my masterlist for everything else I’ve posted!
The man is wearing a dark green flannel, medium wash jeans, brown boots, and a broken watch. He's got a rifle leaning against the table beside him.
With the back of my hand I wipe sweat off my brow. Unfortunately, I was not placed on graffiti cleanup today. Instead, they're making me dig holes for new fence posts on the QZ border. FEDRA is trying to rebuild what the Fireflies blew up, and digging deep holes for hours on end only makes me more bitter towards the wannabe mercenary group. Manual labor paired with no sleep for the past two days is not working in my favor. I have to constantly fight to not pass out from overexertion. But, I'd be lying if I said I hadn't considered passing out to get out of work.
The hours pass by slowly, but surely. As soon as we get cleared to leave for the day I make a beeline for my apartment, wanting to at least get a shower before I start my activities for the night. I've got a list of things I need to accomplish, and I'm hoping to do so before curfew. However, with the luck I've been having lately, I'm not holding my breath about being back before curfew.
After I've showered and made myself presentable again, I leave my apartment and head towards area four. I'm counting on someone to have reported those poor girls in the alley today, there's just no way nobody found them. And I'm hoping my contact will have some good information for me. As an incentive for information, I brought along a few pills. Information like this is sure to come at a hefty price, and free narcotics usually does the trick.
I locate the familiar apartment and knock on the door. It's not unheard of for regular people to be in area four, but it is unusual. Thankfully, the soldier opens the door and lets me in quickly without asking questions. I stand in the doorway of the rickety apartment and nod to the man standing across from me.
"What are you doing here?" His voice is callous, but curious. We had just delivered to this guy last week and I know he isn't due for another round of pills until next week, so it is weird for me to be here right now. I clear my throat,
"I need information, and I'm hoping you can be of assistance." I start off. The man's eyes narrow,
"What kind of information?" His eyes briefly look me up and down, probably searching for obvious weapons. I move from the doorway to the man's living room, where my voice is less likely to be heard by bystanders.
"I know there have been bodies found. I need to know what FEDRA is doing to find the killer." My voice is stone cold and serious. On our drug runs, I try to stay friendly to the clients, so they keep quiet and keep coming back. But this is something else entirely. The man scratches the back of his neck and takes a few steps towards me.
"How do you know about that?" His voice is equally as cold. I look right into his eyes, trying to pierce his soul so he sees just how serious I am about this.
"I have my sources." I decide against confessing what I really know. He licks his lips and shakes his head,
"Noelle you know I can't tell you shit like this." He sounds frustrated, he has to know something. Otherwise he'd be asking for more elaboration.
"What if I gave you these?" I pull out the small bag of pills from my back pocket. The man's eyes grow wide as he sees them. His gaze flickers between me and the pills.
"What's the catch?" He asks and I shake my head innocently.
"No catch, just information." I say, hoping that the thought of free drugs is enticing enough to get what I need from him. He paces back and forth before he gives in.
"Fine. I'll tell you what I know." He says, eyeballing the pills. I release a breath I hadn't realized I was holding and motion for him to continue on.
"You'll get these after you fess up." I explain my terms more thoroughly to him. Thankfully, he starts talking without argument.
"Three bodies found, ages fourteen to seventeen. Two girls, one boy. All had the same marking on their forehead. All killed brutally. I heard from another guard today that they had concluded the girls had been sexually assaulted before they were killed. Same with the boy." He explains, and my blood boils at his words. It's bad enough these children were ruthlessly killed. But to have been defiled before? It's sickening and awakens a rage in me I've never felt before.
"List of suspects?" My voice is uncharacteristically dark and I take a few steps towards the soldier. He shakes his head,
"I don't have names, nobody has a name. But, I did hear something about a man, or some small group, staying out near the wharf in area five. I guess we've been having perimeter issues around there. It's no surprise, there are a few empty warehouses out there and nobody ever patrols them. My best guess, start there if you want to find who did this. As far as I know, all FEDRA is planning to do is to sweep the warehouses tomorrow and then call it if they don't find anything. They don't want people knowing about this, they're hoping it just stops. They're worried a riot will break out. We don't have the numbers to go investigating this, we still have our orders. My guess is that we're just going to blame the first man who looks at someone the wrong way." He spills more information. My fists clench involuntarily as he says FEDRA is basically trying to sweep this under the rug to stop a potential riot. It seems that good old-fashioned vigilante action is going to be needed after all. Appreciative of his cooperation, I toss the pills over to him.
"Thank you. Those are on the house." I say as I make my way out of his apartment, on a newfound mission.
I feel as if I'm practically flying to area five, near the wharf. I'm familiar with the empty warehouses, there are plenty of transactions I make there. But, I've never noticed any sign of someone living there before. Usually, even just one straggler leaves some sort of evidence. Unless they're dumping their evidence into the water.
I begin searching the warehouses one by one, knowing that this might take a good while to be thorough. I intend to search each warehouse with a fine tooth comb. Those children deserve someone to fight for their justice. And if FEDRA isn't going to get these families justice, then I sure as hell will. I know I would want someone to do the same if it were my child.
The sudden thought of Lucas makes my heart constrict with sadness, and I find myself clutching the necklace that never leaves my neck; a constant reminder of my family who are only with me now in spirit.
The first warehouse proves to be empty, every surface is covered with a thick layer of dust and nothing has been recently disturbed, save for rat droppings here and there. The second warehouse is also empty, but I did find some spent shell casings. Probably remnants of some shootout, but I don't know if the killers had anything to do with it, they seem to be keen on using blades.
With hope, I step into the third, and final, warehouse that sits on the wharf. The creaky old building looks like it could fall over at any second and so I'm careful of where my steps land. I take my flashlight out to look at every minute detail, looking for anything that suggests someone is staying here. I take a deep breath and stand up straight as the faint scent of a fire tinges my nose.
Carefully, I make my way up the warehouse stairs to where a small landing overlooks the rest of the building. To my surprise, there's the remains of a poorly constructed fire. It looks like it's been put out for a while, but was lit recently, as evidenced by the warmth of the wood. The floor surrounding the fire suggests that there were at least two people here, there are two different shoe tracks imprinted in the dusty floor.
I walk over to what looks like a makeshift mattress, made out of broken down cardboard boxes. Crouching down, I examine some scattered papers. There's a hand-drawn map of the QZ and there are circles drawn around areas with accompanying notes. I read the notes scribbled on the edges of the paper and realize I'm looking at the killer's plan. I feel like I could throw up as I read what it written on the paper.
They had singled out their victims, made note of their physical appearances. The notes imply that the killer wanted nothing more than to defile the victims in any way possible. It's almost like the killer, or killers, were playing a game. After I've read everything, I fold the map and tuck it in my back pocket, looking for any other evidence they might have left.
Sticking out of the cardboard boxes is another piece of paper. I turn the paper around in my hand and read what's written on it. It's a checklist, or more of a goal list, and it's clear as day to me now that these killings were a game, and that there are definitely two people in on this. The listed goals include finding suitable victims, seeing who could stab their victim more, who could kill their victim the quickest without a headshot, and who could get their victim to give up the most information.
On the left and right hand side of the paper there are numbers listed, along with words. The numbers correlate to the listed goals, and the words are all about what they learned from their victims. The killers got information about their victims' personal lives, it seems they weren't after much more than that, which I find to be a little odd. Usually infiltrators want to know where the armory is, where the food is kept. But it seems these people may have a steady flow of food and weapons if their focus was on personal information; making it all seem more like a sport. Like they chose this QZ as their hunting ground. I fold this paper and put it in my pocket as well, and search for anything else. However, that seems to be it.
The lack of personal belongings, weapons, food, paired with the lack of additional fire wood tells me that these people left and don't plan on returning here. Perhaps they knew they were going to be tracked down and so they left before anyone could find them. Maybe they were satisfied with the carnage and fear they created, so they just left before they could get caught. If my experience in this world has taught me anything though, it's that people as vile as this will never stop hurting others. It's possible they may even return here, maybe with more people. Maybe this was some sort of test run, to see what they could get away with. It's hard to know for sure.
I fall back so that I'm sitting flat on the floor, and tears make their way down my face. These predators killed those children for sport and just left without any sort of repercussion.Tears of sadness and frustration fall for the children who lost their lives, for the families who lost their dear loved ones. After a few minutes of anguish, my sorrow turns to anger, and I stand to my feet, wiping my face and making my way back to area one.
Each time my foot hits the pavement, the anger intensifies. These people will not get away with what they've done here, they will face consequences. I will hunt them down until I find them, even if that means I must go to the ends of the Earth. In this world, there is no place for evil offenders such as them, it's bad enough the infected threaten our lives everyday. Life is valuable, and those who don't treat it as such must be taken out of the equation for the greater good and the order of civility.
With one last sniffle, I knock on James' apartment door. He doesn't answer after a few minutes, so I knock again, louder this time. I hear a chair scrape against the wooden floor, and heavy footsteps come my way.
"What?" James' gruff voice demands before he even sees its me. His hard exterior immediately softens as he sees me standing there. I let myself in and am surprised to see an unfamiliar man sitting at the table.
The man is wearing a dark green flannel, medium wash jeans, brown boots, and a broken watch. He's got a rifle leaning against the table beside him, which should intimidate me, but in my current state, it doesn't phase me.
The man stares back at me like he's angry I'm here, like I interrupted something. But, I can't seem to find it in myself to care what I interrupted in this moment. My mind is on one track and one track only. James closes the door and stands between me and the unfamiliar man. He clears his throat and for the first time, I think James is uncomfortable. I tear my gaze from the stranger and look to James.
"I need to talk to you." My voice cracks as I speak. James nods and glances back to the other man.
"Can it wait?" He asks and I bite the insides of my cheeks to keep my anger at bay. I cross my arms, not backing down.
"It can't actually." I keep my words vague because this other man doesn't need to know anything about what I'm doing. James lets out a huff of air and runs a hand through his hair. The other man shifts in his seat. The two men exchange a glance, and I can tell it's loaded with some sort of silent communication. James nods his head, as if he's coming to some sort of conclusion.
"What is it then?" James asks, taking me aback. He knows what's going on, and I'm surprised he even suggested that I talk in front of whoever this man is. How do I know this man isn't going to go talking about everything I say here? I glance quickly at the man, who's now leaning forward on the table.
"Really? You know what I'm here about." My voice is tinged with anger and I set my jaw tightly. James takes a seat across from the other man and gives me a reassuring nod.
"It's okay Noelle, he's a friend. And he's leaving the QZ tonight, he won't talk." James promises me. I shift my weight from one foot to the other, struggling with what I should do. But, I don't see any other option but to tell James what my plan is. With an exasperated sigh, I uncross my arms and start talking.
"Fine. I went back out after curfew and found two girls, both killed like the boy was. I let someone else report them, I couldn't be the one to do it. And so later I went to area four and talked to one of our clients to see what's being done about this. He gave me more information about the kids, led me to the wharf in area five. I searched them all and this is what I found." I take the papers out of my pocket and spread them out on the small kitchen table, giving extra space to the unknown man. The two lean in to see what I've presented. I give them time to read the papers, and I see James' face grow pale. The other man's face seems to be set in anger.
"It was more than one." James states as he finishes reading the papers. I nod my head in confirmation.
"I think it was two. There were two sets of prints on the floor. But I think they left the QZ. The firewood was going cold, and there were no possessions left behind." I take the papers back and put them in my pocket. James scrunches his eyebrows together.
"So if they're gone, what's the issue?" His question shocks me.
"What's the issue? Three kids are dead because of them. One of them died in my fucking arms. They're just going to keep doing this. Maybe not here, but to others. I came here to tell you I'm leaving. I'm going to hunt them down." I stare right into James' eyes as I tell him I plan on leaving. Immediately, he shakes his head.
"No, Noelle, you can't leave." He practically begs. I shrug my shoulders,
"Why not James? I do the same damn thing every day here. I do my duties and then I run pills. Over and over again. These children deserve justice, someone has to fight for them. Why not me?" I tell him, feeling only slightly awkward that a stranger is present for this conversation.
"Who's going to keep things going? Theresa won't." He says, only caring about the pill smuggling operation we have going here. I shake my head, he just doesn't get it.
"There are plenty of others who can run pills just as good as me. Get one of them to do it, James. Hell, I'll even give you a list of who gets what and when." I say, more than willing to leave behind the schedule I've got going with our clients. James throws his hands up in frustration.
"So after all these years you're going to leave? Just like that?" He incredulously asks. I'm almost at a loss for words, he's acting like he's never going to see me again.
"I won't be gone forever. Once I kill these bastards I'll be back and it'll be like I never left." I tell him the truth. I do fully intend on coming back here. This shouldn't take me but a few days. James runs a hand through his hair and then focuses his attention on the man across the table from him.
"Man, do me a solid. Go with her." I'm almost offended that James thinks I need a security detail to go with me. Before the man can reply, I interrupt.
"No James, I can handle myself. Have some damn faith." I protest, but James keeps his eyes trained on the other man. Feeling patronized, I turn on my heel and leave James' apartment before either of them can say another word, slamming the door behind me. Sure, it's a little juvenile, but so was James' blatant display of his lack of confidence in me.
I go to my apartment to gather things I'll need, being sure to bring all the ammunition I have, my good hunting knife, and other survival necessities. I was planning on leaving first thing in the morning, but I know James will just come over here and bother me, so I'll leave tonight before he gets the chance to.
It leaves a bad taste in my mouth, how things left off between James and I, but once I return I'm sure we'll be able to patch things up, we always do.
Part Six
#joel miller#joel miller tlou#joel miller x oc#joel miller fic#joel miller fanfic#tlou#tlou fic#joel tlou#tlou fanfiction#pedro pascal#the last of us#joel the last of us#the last of us hbo#the last of us fanfiction
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cool news, I almost made it to the halfway point of the month before I had to do this shit again.
I'm disabled, currently on a liquids or super soft foods only diet, and basically have no money because I'm waiting on disability to pull through. I have been waiting for four years on that. it is probably going to take at least another two years. in the meantime, I basically try to scrape by by using bottle deposits, local food banks, and borrowing money from family who are just a few steps off from where I am funds-wise.
for context to the paragraph after this one, I had oral surgery done to remove the remainder of my teeth a while ago. I'm on a soft-foods-and-liquids-only diet. anything too solid or that turns into shards, like chips, tends to hurt a LOT. it doesn't help that I have eating disorders either. I can get sick of food REALLY fast and not be able to eat it anymore, I forget to eat for long periods of time, and I tend to binge on certain 'high priority' foods.
anyways, I made a mistake and tried to eat something Too Solid and am now basically struggling to even just drink anything. I will admit that I thought it would be fine, it was just a couple of oreos because I was tired of mashed potatoes and soup and applesauce, but uh. it's been like a week and I am still struggling to even just drink anything because it hurts. it's also effecting my sleep, because accidentally brushing against the spots in question hurts. I honestly thought it'd be fine, the last few times I've eaten stuff that's a little too solid I got over the whole thing within a day.
what do I need, exactly? well, funds so I can get stuff to eat that won't hurt again would be nice. also I hate to mention it, but I am quickly running out of toilet paper. struggling to eat in general isn't making my stomach very happy with me. if anyone can spare a couple bucks, I'd appreciate it.
my paypal: paypal.me/seththemuse
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Don't let me down - Part 5
Masterlist Scarlett Masterlist
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
Relationship: MamaScarlett x 16 yr old Reader
Summary: Settling in, Y/n now meets Scarlett's wider family. Whilst the Johansson/Josts go support Y/n at her first game of the season.
Word count: 6071
Y/n's POV:
"Morning kiddo. You're up early." Colin greets me whilst balancing Cosmo on his shoulder. It's current 6:30am and I've been up a lot longer than that, but I'm not about to tell him that. "Yeah, I'm quite an early riser." I share, it's not a lie, but I'm not an early riser through choice. I'd happily sleep in late if I could. But my brain still thinks if I stay in too late, I'll be caught by Mr Woodstock.
It also doesn't help that today I'm meeting Scarlett's mom and siblings. Thankfully, they're not all bringing their kids. I think that would be a little too overwhelming for me if I'm honest. "Would you like some coffee? You look like you could do with some." He offers, making me smile. "You saying I look like crap?" I ask him with a raised eyebrow.
There's a brief look of panic on his face but when I smirk at him, I can see his shoulders relax, knowing he hasn't actually offended me. "Just a little tired around the edges." He teases in return. "Then fill her up!" I say, holding a mug out towards him. Once I take my first sip, I can already feel my body starting to wake up.
"Are you nervous about today?" He asks me, making conversation whilst he tends to Cosmo. I look down to the mug in my hand, a little ashamed that I'm so nervous about this. "A little." I admit. When I do lift my head, I'm met with Colin giving me a warm, sympathetic smile. "Don't worry. They're all really excited to see you again. I can also confirm they are lovely people. I definitely got lucky with the in-laws." He reassures me.
"Meet me again?" I ask a little confused. "Yeah, they were all there when Scarlett gave birth to you. They all met you then. Melanie is especially excited to meet you. I have a feeling she'll be over earlier than the rest to get a head start." He chuckles. "Seriously though, if it becomes too much for you at any time, just let me know and I'll make up an excuse to take you out of the room." He offers and it makes me smile.
I've only been living here for a little over two weeks, but Colin has been so accepting of me. I mean, Scarlett has too, but I'm her daughter. Colin had every right to dislike me, but he is so caring and treats me like Rose and Cosmo. I really appreciate it. I can see why Scarlett likes him.
It's slowly become easier being here. Since our talk in the park, I feel closer to Scarlett which is nice. Rose went from not giving a shit about me, to me being her favourite person. Which gave me a bit of whiplash, but it's been nice spending time with her. She hasn't long started playing soccer at school, so I've been helping her to practice her skills. I must admit, she's not bad.
After my blip of questioning my annoyance to Laura, I spoke to her about it, and she spent about half an hour scolding me for ever thinking that. Our relationship is probably stronger than ever, and I know that I'm going to take the plunge soon and tell her how I feel. I know I risk losing our friendship, but I hope that even if she isn't interested, she'll stick around.
"Do you want me to take Cosmo whilst you go and get ready?" I ask Colin, who instantly nods and moves to hand Cosmo over to me. "Thanks kiddo. I'll see you in a bit." He smiles, placing a kiss to my head and rushing up the stairs. "Hi there buddy. Look at you all handsome this morning." I greet my little brother. Is it sad that my favourite person is a baby?
Wanting to do something nice for the family, I decide to start on breakfast. I find the baby sling and make sure that Cosmo is comfy before grabbing out what I need to make some pancakes. I put some music on quietly and start to dancing around a little to help comfort Cosmo, who is giggling a treat. It keeps distracting me and I find myself getting lost in his cute little smile. God he's such a cute baby!
"Ok then buddy. What shall I prepare to go with the pancakes? Bacon is always a winner." I start to talk to him, and he looks at me as if he understands every word I'm saying. "I guess we need to do fruit for Scarlett. Don't want her complaining that her trainer will be mad." I say with a scrunched up face. Fruit just ruins pancakes. "Oh, better not forget the syrup for Rosebud!" I remember, moving to the cupboard to grab out the bottle.
"Well, this is a sight I could get used to." I spin around so quickly to see the source of the voice. Scarlett is leant against the door frame, watching over us with a content smile on her face. "Your 16 year old with a baby?" I ask with a raised eyebrow. "God no! No sex until you're like 30!" She quickly orders, making me laugh. "Wait. You're not, you know. There isn't someone I haven't met that you're uh doing that with?" She asks making this moment all too awkward. "Oh God, Scarlett no!" I respond, my cheeks heating up and going a dark red. "Sorry. I was just check. What I had meant was it's nice seeing my daughter being adorably cute with her brother. I love how well he's taken to you." She corrects her earlier statement and thankfully drops the sex talk.
"And thank you for being so considerate of my feelings on my trainer." She smirks at me, making me blush with embarrassment that she heard all that. "Coffee or juice." I ask her, moving on from that subject. "I'll do drinks. Thank you though sweetheart." She smiles at me, moving to the fridge to grab out a couple of cartons of juice.
I can feel her eyes on me whilst she's pouring the drinks. I take the last pancake out of the pan and turn around and meet her eyes. "Something you want to ask?" I question her, seeing the same nervous look she has in her eyes when she wants to talk about something, but isn't sure how to bring it up. "I notice you're always up early. But today you were up earlier than usual. Is everything ok?" She asks me.
I frown at her as I wasn't downstairs any earlier than I normally would be. I made sure of it. "I wasn't earlier. It was only 6:30." I lightly defend, but it only causes her frown to deepen. "I heard you up at at least 4:30." She calls me out and my gaze drops. "I think the question is why were you up that early Mrs Johansson?" I ask, trying to cover the fact she's right.
She sighs but takes a seat whilst I continue to bounce Cosmo who clearly isn't happy that I stopped dancing. "I'm nervous about you meeting the family." She admits, taking me by surprise at her honestly. "Why are you nervous?" I ask her, is she worried that they're not going to like me? I try not to let the panic overtake me and allow her to answer before I get too worked up.
"They're going to meet you and see how amazing you are and hate me even more for giving you up." She shares honestly, and it shocks me that she's being so open with me. "I guess they can't hate me more than I hate myself though." She sighs, her gaze focused on the baby in the sling. "You can't change the past Scarlett, only the future." I tell her firmly, which makes her look at me with teary eyes.
I've spent a lot of time talking with Laura about my feelings towards Scarlett. There is still a lot of anger and hidden feelings there. But what I said is right. We can't change what happened. I know she tried to get me back but couldn't. As soon as she had the chance to, she was there. It's still going to take some time for me to actually feel part of this family and not the random kid living with them. But I'm mature enough to focus on the here and now and to try and move on from the past. Eventually.
Feeling like I should repay her honesty, I decide to admit the truth also. "I was nervous too. But that they would hate me and think I'm just here to use you or something." I share and her eyes widen. "Oh sweetheart! They would never think that. In fact, I know they don't. Mom is so incredibly excited to meet you. I'm worried she might not let you go when she hugs you." She reassures me through a chuckle.
"Besides, if anyone says anything slightly negative about you, I will hand their ass to them before they can even finish their sentence." She says with a completely serious face. "Well, let's not have any violence on the first family get together." I joke, making her laugh. "No promises." She returns, walking over towards Cosmo and I, wrapping an arm around me and placing a kiss to my head.
I never used to be a hugger with people other than Laura. But I'm actually starting to enjoy them. They make me feel warm and like I'm actually safe. It's amazing how in two weeks my mindset is already seeing small glimmers of change. "I'm always here if you need to talk. I know you have Laura, but I'd like to be able to help if I can." She tells me softly. "Thanks. I appreciate that." I respond. "Now, let's eat." I instruct her.
Breakfast is nice. I'm still getting used to the five of us sitting down all together to eat our meals. Scarlett and Colin listen so intently to Rose, and you can see how happy that makes her. Conversation moves on to the fact that they are all planning to come and watch me at the first game of the season. I told them that they really don't have to, but they said they wouldn't miss it for the world.
It'll be weird to actually have someone there supporting me. I've never had that before. Laura's parents would always cheer for me too if they were watching, but it's not the same as having your parents there showing you how much they support you. I just hope I can focus on the game and not the fact that they'll be in the stands.
For the rest of the morning, I helped Scarlett and Colin prepare the food for dinner later. Everyone was planning to arrive at 2 so I had plenty of time to sit and stew in the negative thoughts going through my head.
At about half 1 the doorbell rings and Colin smirks at me. "Told you she'd come early." He gloats, moving to the hallway to greet our guest. Just like Colin had predicted, Scarlett's mom had come by early. As we walk into the hallway, she's just finishing hugging Rose. When her head lifts to look to Colin, her eyes land on me and they go wide.
She lets out a small gasp and walks slowly over to me. "Y/n?" She whispers and I nod. "Wow. You're beautiful." She compliments me, making me blush. Her eyes are glossed over with tears, and she stands in front of me. "I'm Melanie. I guess technically your grandmother." She smiles at me. "It's lovely to meet you." I respond as confidently as I can. She goes to hug me, but my stupid body flinches at the action and I'm internally cursing myself for allowing it to happen.
She looks at me worriedly and lowers her arms. I can see Scarlett looking on with concern, but I try not to focus on that. "I'm sorry. I should have asked. Can I hug you?" She asks with a kind smile, not a hint of annoyance at my respond. I nod and she carefully steps forward and wraps her arms around me. She's a similar height to Scarlett so I have to bend down a little as I melt into her hug. How can someone I've just met feel so comfortable. "I'm so glad you're home." She whispers to me, and I give her a little squeeze.
When she pulls apart, she holds my hands and looks at my face once again. "You look just like Scarlett at 16. Except for the brown hair!" She observes. I feel a little exposed under her gaze, but this was definitely a better reaction than I had been imagining in my head!
We move into the living room and Melanie sits with me, asking me lots of questions to get to know me more. She shares some embarrassing stories about Scarlett, much to her annoyance, but I very much enjoyed hearing those. Rose has been surprisingly good. I was worried that she would get annoyed that I was stealing her nana's attention, but she's been joining in the conversation and allowing us time together too.
We're all taken by surprise when the door opens and we hear a voice shouting from all the hallway. "The favourite twin has arrived!" My heart instantly starts to beat rapidly. I don't know why but I'm most nervous about meeting Hunter. Maybe it's because he's Scarlett's twin and I know how close they are. I can't help but worry about how he's going to react. I can feel my palms getting sweaty and I'm trying to count as many red things as I can to prevent a panic attack forming. This is stupid. It's just her brother! I can do this.
Scarlett's POV:
As soon as Hunter makes his presence known, I can see fear wash over Y/n. Things had been going so well with mom, after the little blip at the beginning, and I thought she was doing ok. But I couldn't be more wrong. I should have done more to make sure she was comfortable.
I quickly stand up and make my way over to her, when I see her eyes darting all over the place, sitting next to her and carefully placing my hand on her knee. Colin thankfully gets up to greet my idiot brother. "That boy will never learn to knock." I jokingly complain, hoping to provide some comfort without making her worries be the focal point. I've learnt that Y/n hates being centre of attention, and she wouldn't like it if I made a big deal about this right now. Even though it's breaking my heart to see her so scared. I just want to scoop her up and take her away so she can calm down.
Her eyes stop moving around the room and I wonder if she was counting objects. It's something that I know Lizzie does to help during her anxiety attacks. "What colour?" I ask her and she looks at me in shock. "Red." She admits shyly, so I return a smile easily. "Everything is going to be ok." I reassure her, wrapping my arm around her. "Remember, I'll throw hands regardless. I'm black widow remember." I joke, hoping to lighten the mood, and it seems to work. She let's out a genuine laugh, which makes both mine and mom's face light up. I'll never tire of hearing her laugh. I just wish I heard it more.
Colin and Hunter soon enter the living room and I notice that Hunter is calmer than he normally is. He can be a bit of a loose canon at times, but it's clear that Colin has had a word with him. Which I'm glad for. I love my brother, but I know if he goes to full Hunter mode then he is going to freak Y/n out more than she already is.
After greeting Rose and Cosmo, he walks towards us, and I can't help but laugh at the stern look mom is giving him. Y/n stands up and holds her hand out to Hunter, clearly getting a wave of confidence. "Hi, I'm Y/n. Nice to meet you, Hunter." She greets with a smile. I can see her outstretch hand is shaking and I notice that Hunter clocks it too.
He quickly steps forward and takes it. "I'm so happy that I finally get to meet you Y/n. As soon as Scarlett told us that you were moving in, I was desperate to meet you. But I was kept away, something about you need to settle." He greets in return, smirking with his last comment. "How are you settling in?" He asks, motioning for her to take her seat on the sofa again.
I take my own seat and watch over them with a smile as they easily seem to get on. I've noticed that Y/n has this really great wit. She can be hilarious and I'm sure she's even funnier, but she's scared to go too far. I can't wait to see her be unapologetically herself.
There isn't much respite though as Adrian and Vanessa turn up a few minutes later. Thankfully, they arrived together, meaning that Y/n didn't have to go through another two introductions. I watch as they both introduce themselves, smiles permanently planted on their faces. "I can't believe how much of a mini-me to Scarlett you are!" Vanessa observes and she wraps an arm around Y/n's shoulder. Another flinch wracks her body, and it breaks my heart that her reaction is still that someone is trying to hurt her. Vanessa's eyes snap to mine, and I mouth "later" to her, and she nods slowly, a frown on her face.
Everything is going well as my siblings and mom get to know Y/n more. They're being really respectful and not pushing too hard or bombarding her with questions. It's a shame my dad couldn't be here, but he's hoping to visit in the next week or so, which will be nice as the whole family will have had the chance to see her.
Happy that they're all getting on well, I head into the kitchen to start getting everything ready for dinner. I almost have a heart attack when I close the fridge door and Vanessa is stood there with an expectant look on her face. Mom stood just behind her. "Jesus Christ, you scared the crap out of me." I say, holding my hand to my chest. "Sorry, I did call after you, but you obviously didn't hear me." She apologises, moving into the kitchen to help me with the food.
"So, are you going to tell me why my niece is flinching?" She asks. It's not accusingly, but there is definitely a worried and angry tone to her voice. I look up and see mom waiting expectantly for a response as well. When I told them that she was back in my life, I had only briefly mentioned about her being in a difficult foster home. It didn't feel right to be sharing that so early on.
I sigh, rubbing at my head. "She uh. She didn't have the easiest of upbringings." I admit, the sadness washing over me all over again as I know I could have prevented it if I made the right decision 16 years ago. "What do you mean by that?" Vanessa asks. "Her adoptive parents were abusive. Then when they died, she was moved into an abusive foster home. So, this is the first safe space that she has lived in." I tell them, making them both gasp in shock.
"My poor baby." Mom whispers, tears filling her eyes. "Its that the lingering bruise on her face? It's barely noticeable but I clocked it." Vanessa asks, a sadness across her face. "Yeah, Mr Woodstock, the shitty foster home manager, had hit her after he blamed her for being drunk in front of me and Danny." I explain, my gaze focusing on the pork in front of me.
I'm stopped in my actions when mom's hand rests on mine. "Come here honey." She instructs me. It's only then that I realise that I'm crying. "I should never have left her mom. I let her down so badly. I don't deserve to have her in my life now." I cry into her shoulder, letting it all out. Vanessa quickly walks towards us and wraps her arms around the two of us.
"Don't talk like that Scarlett. Yes, it may have been the wrong decision, but you were doing what you thought was best at the time. You never could have known she would end up in a place like that. You trusted the system to take care of your daughter. You are giving her the life she deserves now." Mom comforts me, her hand running up and down my back.
"Mom's right. Other than looking terrified of being surrounded by us Johanssons, she seems happy. There's a relief in her eyes. It's going to take time for her to fully settle and find herself again. But you are going to be there supporting her in getting back to that person. We all are going to be here for her. For both of you." Vanessa adds on, making me smile. "Now, do you have this assholes address. I'm thinking of paying a visit." She asks with a chuckle. "Country jail right now. Where he's meant to be!" I reply, grateful that he's not going to be able to get anywhere near Y/n.
After a moment to compose myself, we start back on finishing everything for dinner. I call in Colin to help take the food through whilst the others move to the dining room, sitting at the table. Rose instantly sits next to Y/n, making me smile at how much she loves her big sister already. Hunter takes the seat the other side almost as quickly, clearly deciding that she's his new favourite.
Conversation through dinner flows easily and I can see Y/n get more comfortable as the time goes on. There's lots of laughter and storytelling, mostly embarrassing ones about me, but Y/n is loving them, so I'll happily let her know them all to see her smile.
By the time it comes to everyone leaving, I'm a little sad. But I couldn't be happier with how it went. Mom's already planning to pop around in the week to have some one on one time with her after school and Y/n seemed really happy about that. As they're leaving Adrian pulls me into a tight hug. "I'm glad she's home. Take care of her. Whoever hurt her has done a number on her." He says to me quietly. I look at him shocked and he just shrugs. "She has all the signs. It wasn't hard to work out." He answers my unasked question. "I'll protect her with everything I have." I assure him and he smiles.
Hunter approaches me next with the biggest grin on his face. "I'm so happy to have a new partner in crime. Rose is great but, you know, she's only 7. With Y/n the possibilities are endless." He smirks. "Oh, I'm going to regret introducing you two aren't I." I sigh, knowing that I'm going to be on the receiving end of his pranks now. "Love you sis!" He shouts as he heads out to the car. I flip him off which only makes him laugh harder.
With the door closed I let out a deep breath, grateful that it went so well. I go to the living room and see that Y/n isn't there. I find her in the kitchen, clearing up from dinner. "Oh, you don't have to do that sweetheart." I tell her, taking the plates from her hands. "It's ok. You cooked. I'm happy to clean." She tells me, taking the plates back from me. "Fine, but I'm helping." I insist, starting to pack up the leftovers.
"Your family is lovely." Y/n breaks the comfortable silence we had. "They're your family too and they love you. So much. In fact, I'm scared that Hunter is going to try and steal you away from me." I joke making her laugh. "Yeah, he needs to work on his prank ideas. They're a bit childish." She shares. Clearly Rose was the mastermind of all their ideas!
"Seriously though Y/n. You are apart of this family. You never have to give them a label, but they love you as their granddaughter and niece, and they always will." I reassure her and I notice her eyes gloss over. "I never had more than my parents before." She shares at a whisper. I move towards her with my arms open and she falls into them. "Well, you do now and we're not going anywhere." I tell her firmly. "I love you my sweet baby." I tell her and she squeezes me that little bit tighter. "Thank you for saving me." She says it so quietly, I barely hear it. But I do and it completely breaks me.
The tears silently fall down my cheeks as I hold my daughter. I don't ever want to let her go. I want her to be safe and loved and happy and I will do everything in my power to make sure that she gets the best in life.
__________
"Come on mom! We're going to be late!" Rose shouts to me from the hallway. I head downstairs with Cosmo in my arms. "Ok ok! I'm here, I was just getting your grumpy pants brother ready." I inform her but she huffs. "We're going to be late and miss out on the good seats if we don't leave now!" She complains with a pout. "I know honey. Colin is just getting his wallet." I tell her, making sure that we have everything.
We're about to head to Y/n's school and watch their opening game of the season. I'm so excited to see her in action. She loves soccer and I'm happy that I'm finally able to share in that passion with her. Rose is beyond excited and has even made her a sign to cheer her on with.
Colin jogs down the stairs and I smile as we're all wearing blue, their home colours. Rose is very sad that you can't buy a jersey so she can match her sister, so we found the closest top that we could instead.
The whole way there, Rose is excitedly rambling about how she hopes that Y/n scores the winning goal. Then as soon as the car is in park, she's undone her own belt and jumped out, rushing us all along. I'm surprised at how many people are here to watch the game. Seems like they're popular. I let Rose lead us to where she wants to sit and we end up at the halfway line and about midway up the bleachers. "These are great seats." Rose says proudly, wiggling with excitement. The team are out warming up and my eyes roam over them to find my daughter. "There's Y/n!" Rose calls out, pointing towards her on the pitch. She looks really focused as she runs through her drills with the team.
The coach blows the whistle and the team move towards the touchline to grab water. Y/n catches a glimpse of us and looks completely shocked as we wave at her. She says something to her coach, who nods, and she makes her way up to us. "You came?" She asks as if she can't believe it. "Of course, we did. We promised we would." I reply, ignoring the sadness that she's not had this support before.
"Sissy! I made you a sign!" Rose tells her excitedly, showing what she had made. A wide smile appears on her face. "Thanks Rosebud. I love it." She returns. "I better get back down but thank you for coming." She thanks. "Good luck kiddo! Kick some ass!" Colin encourages her, making her laugh as she jogs back down to her team. "Colin that's a bad word." Rose scolds him. I hide the laugh fighting to come out as Colin looks like a naughty schoolboy.
My eyes don't leave Y/n as I watch her with her team. My pride only grows when I notice that she puts on the captain's armband. They get together as a group and put their hands in the middle before call "Panthers." We all cheer as they take their places on the pitch. My excitement is only growing as I get to see how good she is.
Turns out she's very good. She controls the ball so easily and commands her team like someone far older than she actually is. A mistake in the back line results in the opposition scoring and all of the girls' heads drop. But Y/n gets them together, clearly giving them a pep talk. They have an extra bounce in their step after that talk and they retain all the possession and pressure for the next 20 minutes.
With a beautiful bit of skill, Y/n darts around two defenders. She looks up at the goal, probably contemplating shooting. "Shoot!" Rose is shouting from beside me. But she does the opposite just as a defender approaches her, she does a low cross finding Laura, who hammers the ball in the back of the net. It's like she had a sixth sense that she was there. Her gaze wasn't even in that direction.
We all jump up from our seats cheering whilst the team celebrate. Whilst I watch them set back up, I can see why they get such a good crowd here. The team are really talented. By half time it's 1-1 but the panthers have had all the pressure and Y/n has had a couple of close calls. It feels like it's only a matter of time until they score.
Whilst they're taking on water at halftime, Y/n looks up towards us and Rose jumps up and down waving. Y/n's smile grows as she notices and waves back. "She saw me!" Rose points out triumphantly.
The second half starts with an exhausting pace. The passing technique of the girls is amazing, but their opposition has picked up their game. It's end to end and my nerves are building as the opposition striker shoots and the ball just scraps past the post for a goal kick.
Y/n calls out to the team to calm down, making the gesture with her arms at the same time. I feel like I'm seeing Y/n in her element. She is so confident and sure of herself. I hope that in time, we'll get to see this away from the soccer pitch.
The panthers get a corner and Y/n is tussling with a defender in the box. Just as the ball is about to be hit, she does a dummy move, tricking the defender and giving herself space in front of her. She jumps in the air and her head connects with the ball. It feels like it's going in slow motion as we watch the ball move through the goalkeeper's hands and into the net. "YES!" I jump up cheering, Rose following my lead. She lifts her sign in the air cheering loudly. Colin has Cosmo bouncing on his hip and it seems, watching his sister play soccer has gotten him out of his grumpy mood.
The intensity of the game doesn't drop though. If anything, the opposition pick up even more with conceding that goal. Y/n is spending a lot more time in a defensive position, showing her ability once again. She really is talented. I know I'm biased, but I truly believe it.
It looks inevitable that the opposition are going but score but Laura makes a break, but their defence manages to get back pretty quickly. She looks up and sees Y/n stood just outside the box. With a cheeky back pass, she gets the ball to Y/n and moves out the way as Y/n takes the shot as soon as the ball as at her feet. She hits it sweetly and it curls into the top right hand corner. Once again, we're jumping around in the stands.
By the looks on the team's face, none of them can believe the shot, Y/n looking more shocked than anyone. Laura runs at her, jumping in her arms. Y/n holds her easily, spinning around. I don't know if they realise it, but they are definitely having a moment. Y/n is looking at her like she's hung the moon and stars.
The rest of the team are soon joining in the celebrations, their moment over. But as they go to retake their position for the restart, Laura loops her arm around Y/n's shoulder and gives her a kiss on her cheek before running off. I chuckle to myself when I can see Y/n's cheek instantly blush. Oh, she's definitely smitten!
After a nervous last 5 minutes, the final whistle blows, and we join with the rest of the crowd to applaud the team. We wait for a few minutes as the teams shake hands and Y/n thanks the referee. Rose all the while getting more impatient. Before I know it, she's run off and is making a beeline towards Y/n.
Though my worries instantly dissipate as Y/n bends down and scoops her sister up and rests her on her hip as she listens to her little sister ramble excitedly. I slip my hand in Colin's and we walk down towards the touchline so we can congratulate her too. I watch as Y/n proudly introduces Rose to her teammates before her and Laura walk in our direction.
Laura is looking a little nervous as she approaches us. "Hi Scarlett, Colin. Little Cosmo." Y/n greets us, placing Rose on the floor and pinching at Cosmo's cheek. "I'd like you to meet my best friend, Laura." She introduces her friend. "Sorry about how I spoke to you both last time." She apologises but I instantly wave her off. "No, you were protecting Y/n. I appreciate that she's got you in her life." I reassure her and notice her shoulders instantly relax.
"You played an amazing game. Congratulations the both of you for scoring." I congratulate them. "I'm not exaggerating when I say that was one of the best games of soccer I've watched." Colin adds on, making Y/n beam. "Can you believe the goal she scored at the end. She's going to be a superstar." Laura compliments Y/n, nudging her shoulder. "Oh, shut up. It was just a fluke." She tries to play it off. "Besides, it's because I had the best partner up front." She returns, making Laura's cheeks blush too.
"Are your parents here Laura? I'd love to meet them." I ask, excited to get to know the people in Y/n's life. "No, they're both working tonight." She responds a little disappointed. "Yeah, but it's the first game they've missed in ages." Y/n comforts Laura, slipping her arm around her waist. "Yeah, you're right. It's nice to see you final have someone cheering for you. And all in matching colours too." Laura laughs. "This one wasn't happy that she couldn't buy your jersey." I share, making Rose pout. "I'll see what I can do." Y/n smiles at Rose, running her hands through her hair.
"If you're parents are out tonight. Why don't you join us for dinner." I offer, smirking internally when I see Y/n's eyes light up. "Oh, you don't need to do that. I don't want to be a bother." Laura deflects. "You will never be a bother, Laura. You're always welcome at our house." I reassure her. She looks to Y/n who's nodding like a happy puppy. "Ok, that would be lovely. Thank your Mrs Johansson." She returns. "Oh please, call me Scarlett. I'm not old yet." I joke, making the others laugh.
We wait for Y/n and Laura to change and start on the drive home. I'm excited to get to know Laura a bit more. I also want to see if my instinct is right and see if these two are as smitten with each other as they look. I hope so, because she makes Y/n incredibly happy!
Part 6
#scarlett johansson fanfiction#scarlett johansson x y/n#scarlett johansson x reader#scarlett johansson#scarjo#celebrity fanfic
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6 months later...
TLDR: it's Zaddy's and my RP 'anniversary'; artworks; Wolke being emotional about her Tumblr experience; and a fluffy one shot/drabble at the end of the WAY TOO LONG POST
I've alluded to it before, I've commissioned some artwork of the two lovebirbs and they just so happened to get finished this week. Huge thanks to @kenobiwanx for making the two come alive 😭 I can NOT stop staring at them.
LOOK AT THEM 😭😭😭
Yes these are spoilers for upcoming events but I just 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
@zaddymandalorian Überraschung!
Back to the actual point *wipes tears off her face*
Let's set the scene...
My dearest Zaddy and I reconnected in November of 2023 as I had been on a work trip at that time and I needed someone to talk to. We'd been talking on and off for the last months, mostly smalltalk and sometimes me complaining about stuff. Worth mentioning is also that I sent her my Maia fanfic back in June. First person to read it besides myself. I've known Zaddy since spring of 2016 ish (which also means I've known her longer than my husband – fun fact) so I felt comfortable with her reading my extremely self-indulgent shit. Everyone needs friends like that ♥
We mused about the roleplays we lost to forum admins being ruthless in their inactive-thread-deletion efforts every 4 months. We had barely started a Witcher RP and I'm sure it would've been awesome if we had continued. We literally stopped 7 ish posts in so nothing had happened really. – Why was it inactive? Well I took a 14 month roleplay hiatus due to me being chronically fatigued. The joys of working a stressful job and being severly anemic. Oops.
I tested the waters and made an offhand comment about maybe giving in and asking her to plot something with me.
This is a very convincing re-enactment of what happened: (translated because we're German potaters)
Well... and that's when the fun began
I, being a total Pedro fangirlie, asked if we wanted to just take the synopsis of my fic and run with that. She agreed, I was happy, she was happy.
So it's been 6 months.
OH. MY. GOD.
I did not think I had it in me to be consistently posting daily for 6 months. We've laughed, we've cried, we've lost sleep over it. We've grinned into our phone screens like maniacs at work and luckily no one asked
And now, 260k words later, I'm still in love with the babies. In fact I'd say I love the little blorbs even more now. Maia has a face, she has outfits (multiple!) she has a family and a story (that's only about 1/3 written so whew we might make it to a million)
Of course I also love Zaddy very much (and I will keep lovebombing your ass, bitch 🖤💜)
You know what, fuck it, I'm mentioning more people. Buckle up! Wolke spreads some love!
@immarocketman for being the first person on Tumblr that I kind of clicked with because we share a love for Pedro and the color purple 💜
@roughdaysandart for 1) allowing me insight in her creative process making a Fanfic comic and b) doodling Maia basically as soon as she made an appearance in text form 💜
The moots: @thefrogdalorian @djarins-cyare @djarins-wife @pedroswife69 for interacting with me, commenting on my posts and being real cute in general 💜
Everyone that ever interacted with me on here has been nothing but friendly, I feel extremely welcome over here. Everyone who liked/reblogged or commented on my posts, thank you so much. 💕💕💕💕💕💕
Now that the sappy whining is over, who wants to read something actually interesting?
In spirit of me being overbearingly loving, I've typed up a bit of fluff from the lovesick fools™ of Clan Mudhorn. Unbeta'd.
It was early in the morning, the sun barely over the horizon and engulfing the room in warm orange light, when Din awoke, a soft and warm body nestled into his side. She let out the softest little hum when he buried his face in her hair, wrapping his arms around her to hold her close.
"Sleep," he purred into her hair, placing a kiss on her forehead when her face turned towards him. Again, with a quiet hum, she buried her face in the crook of his neck. "How am I supposed to sleep when my husband has his hands all over me?"
"I'm sorry," he apologized and gently stroked her hair. "Why are you awake anyway?" she asked, finally raising her head so her sleepy, green eyes looked into his. "Hey mesh'la," he greeted her with a smile, placing a gentle kiss on her lips. "I don't know. I guess the sun woke me up, it's too bright in here." He sighed. "I miss the hut on Nevarro, it was always dark in there." "Come on, it's not that bad here. We needed more space anyway."
She pulled away from him, rolling over so she was on her stomach, hugging the pillow underneath her to get a better look at her everything. "Is the sun too strong, my warrior king?" a grin crept onto her lips as her eyes blinked slowly. Clearly this was way too early for her liking. To be fair, last night went on for longer than anticipated. "Are the little troublemakers awake yet?" She raised her head and turned to face the door. For now it seemed peaceful and quiet in the adjacent rooms.
Knowing well she would rise from the bed to check if he didn't stop her, Din hoisted himself over her body, practically pressing her into the mattress with his body weight. "You're not getting up to check on the kids now, cyar'ika," he muttered, peppering kisses along her shoulder. A chuckle escaped her lips as she rotated her head so she could see him in her peripheral.
She was so glad the mattress was soft enough to just give in under the weight, forming a perfectly human-shaped dent to make way for her body. "Whatever you say, great Mand'alor." For just a second she could feel him grind his pelvis into her butt.
He kept on pressing kisses on her neck, her shoulders, slowly crawling down her spine, kissing every little scar he found on his descent. "You really have to stop saying it like that." "Like what?" "With the bedroom-voice." He stopped to crawl back up to her head and leaned forward, giving her the chance to look into his face. His eyes were darkened, one of his eyebrows twitching upward.
"You're insatiable," she laughed, shaking her head. He slowly lifted off of her, immediately wrapped both arms around her and pulled her onto his chest. "That's your fault, my love." His voice was warm and silky, the vibration in his chest making her shudder. "My fault?" "You're just too beautiful so I can't keep my eyes or my hands off of you for long." "Di'kut" "Gar di'kut, forever." "Forever is a long time," she said softly and ran her fingers through his hair.
"And I'll be happy to spend every minute with you. I love you so much" he took her hand in his and softly kissed her knuckles. She sighed and watched him kiss every finger, eyeing her intently. She was mesmerized by his eyes, almost hypnotized by the dark brown, with the orange light surrounding them it reminded her of embers, glowing and warm.
Forever was a long time and although it didn't feel like it, time was progressing, evident by the threads of silver that sparkled in his dark brown curls. And although she felt like she herself was showing signs of ageing, he always told her she was as beautiful as the day he met her. "I love you more, mesh'la," she replied and rested her hand on his cheek.
"You and the kids are everything to me. I would die for you," he mused, closing his eyes as her finger brushed over his beard toward his lips. Her movements halted and the dark brown eyes reopened, scanning her features for signs of her sudden stop. The small crease on her forehead was enough for him to know exactly what was troubling her.
"Look at me," he pleaded with her, cupping her cheek in one of his hands now. "I know that look on your face. I would doesn't mean I will. Stop thinking about it. I'm here and so are you." Her hand slowly retreated to rest atop of his, thumb brushing over his warm and tanned skin. "Thanks to you, I am. You've saved my life once, I hope you don't have to do it a second time." She smiled warmly and nestled her face further into his hand.
Din grumbled and pulled her face closer, peppering it with kisses wherever he could reach. "I've saved your life twice. But it doesn't matter, you've given me more than I could ever imagine. I have a family now. And the most amazing wife in the galaxy." "I love you." "Until the end of space and time."
Both flinched when they heard a noise outside the bedroom. Instantly both heads were turned to the door, listening for more noises. One of the kids must've woken up, maybe their voices were too loud.
"Any guesses?" Din asked his wife, once again burying his face in her hair. "My gut tells me it's your mini-version," she suapected, turning her head to kiss him gently. "Your gut? Or your Jedi magic?"
Din rose from the bed, stretching his muscles in the morning sun, stared at by his better half. "And you say I'm insatiable." A sly grin appeared on his lips as he put on a shirt, his shoulders and bicep stretching the fabric just enough to make her hum. "The faster you check on the troublemakers the sooner you can come back to bed. Hurry, I'm not done with you."
She didn't have to tell him twice.
Translations:
mesh'la - beautiful
cyar'ika - darling
di'kut - idiot
gar di'kut - your idiot
#wolke jammert#i'm being parasocial#and emotional#I love a lot of people apparently#PLATONICALLY#roleplay stuff#din djarin#and the wife#and an unknown number of unnamed children#for the sake of spoiling as little as possible#oh and also#house in an unnamed location 😗#AND FANART#I can't#I wanna cry#but in a good way#Everyone gets a kiss#or a hug#or a keldabe kiss#or a fistbump#whatever you need babes#gbtscbtf#din djarin drabble#can be read as x reader I guess#din djarin fluff#mand'alor din djarin#husband din djarin
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How Clove Gardener Writes (an Overview)
I definitely told myself when I started this blog a billion years ago, at the dawn of human civilization, that I wouldn't make any attempt to tell you how to write. You know - other than saying just do it do the thing write it close the blog open the document type type three sentences bam look you did it good job i love you now go get yourself a treat.
But I've spoken to a few writers who seem to benefit from the insight of me just explaining how I write. So I thought I'd give a little peek into my own mindset. I cannot stress enough that this is what works for me. It's a methodology that I've built up over the course of like fifteen years of trying different things, keeping what works, and throwing the rest right out the goddamned window.
If any of this seems new and appealing give it a try. If it doesn't help I'm wrong and bad as a person (no I'm kidding but seriously if it doesn't work that's fine and we're both fine). If it helps you owe me a picture of a frog drawn from memory.
Let's see how long I ramble. Follow me under the read more!
Okay, so let's get this out of the way. I've never taken a writing class. No, that's not true. I took one when I was thirteen and another one in high school and I don't remember anything either of them taught me. Oh and I took an online creative writing class in college, but I also didn't retain anything and the next year I dropped out of college. So I also don't have a degree in jack shit.
What else? I don't outline. I've written upwards of 15 novels (13-15, I honestly can't remember) and I did not outline any of them. This includes character sheets and worldbuilding lore. My first published novel Blind Trust was born from the concept of the Lover's Knot, which is just like some witchy magic lore. I thought it would be cool so I was like "who could maybe be some guys" and then I introduced some guys and then bam 180k later it was Scott and Edgar.
I do virtually no preparation to write a novel other than the vaguest premise and maybe like one cool scene. I did not have a cool scene for Blind Trust, but I do have one for Migration Patterns. What I don't have is an ending. I don't think I've ever written a novel knowing how it ends.
Literally here's what I do. This is all I do. I sit down and I write until I don't know what's going to happen next, at which point I step away and I listen to some music or I go to the museum or I take a nap until I decide how to continue. That's it.
For me it's going to the zoo every day and seeing the monkeys. And every day they're doing something different. Sometimes they're sleeping, or they're pawing at each other, or they're gathering sticks. I can call out to them and offer to show them a card trick or share my Bugles with them, and they might come up to the wall of the enclosure to see what I'm doing. Or they might not. I do not really have control of the situation, but it doesn't matter because they aren't fully aware of me.
At some point either I have to leave the zoo for some reason. Maybe I'm tired, or maybe the monkeys have been pulled in to be fed their lunch (it's bananas and peanuts). Either way I add that day's behavior to the pile and then come back tomorrow.
Once I find an ending I go back and I read through the book again and trim any fat that's in the wrong places while adding flesh to some naked bones. Then I wait a week or more (usually I can only wait a week) and go back and do it again. By that point it's ready to hopefully have someone read it, after which I make small edits and tweaks.
That's how I do it. Or at least, that's how I do it for longform prose projects that I plan to publish. I've written plenty of novels that just stayed first drafts because I didn't feel like revising them and then I moved on to the next one. I don't regret that. I don't consider it a waste of time.
I would never consider a trip to the zoo a waste of time.
Anyways, that's what works for me. I don't know if all of this will apply to other brains. I don't know if any of it will. I figure it might just be useful to get an in-depth look at what I personally vibe with.
I'm so down to talk writing at any time, by the way. I love to do it. Tell me why you aren't writing and I would be happy to listen and try to help. Or just brainstorm. Seriously, my DMs and inbox are perpetually open. Talking about writing is one of my favorite things to do.
Let's go look at some monkeys together.
#writeblr#writing community#on writing#writing resources#writers of tumblr#authors of tumblr#writing#writers on tumblr#actually writing
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