#already been told that im crazy
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diamant
#my art#ace attorney#franziska von karma#im going INSANE#im going fucking CRAZY#so i already told you all how i made a brush set in the shape of among us crewmates#but these are genuinely the best brushes i have ever used#i used amoguses stacked on top of each other for the chains#i made a scatter brush for the glitter#so if you zoom in on the glitter on her dress you'll see a bunch of little amoguses floating around#these brushes are so good#they have ruined my life#i have been so proud of everything i have made with this brush#i will never be able to go back#one day i will create my magnum opus#and in the desperate search for aesthetic beauty someone will ask me for the brushes i used for my masterpiece#and i wont be able to answer them seriously#god help me
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from: thirteen by @anna-scribbles
art by me :)
start from the beginning // read the november chapter // read the most recent chapter (january)
hey listen. look me in my eyes. have you read thirteen by anna scribbles. i think you need to read thirteen by anna scribbles. i think if you want your life to be forever changed you need to read thirteen by anna scribbles. i think if you are a person who is breathing and alive you need to read thirteen by anna scribbles. thank you
#thirteen#miraculous ladybug#ml art#emilie agreste#adrien agreste#miraculous ladybug fic#ml fic#ml fic rec#my art#THIS IMAGE HAS BEEN HAUNTING THE INSIDE OF MY BRAIN EVER SINCE I READ THE NOVEMBER CHAPTER BACK IN NOVEMBER#now. listen. in an ideal world i would've done this way back in november but uhhhhhhh i don't know what happened. suddenly it was december#and now it's february! not sure how that happened. anyway my goal is to be making a piece of art for each chapter to convey#just how fucking INSANE this fic makes me feel. like how crazy and insane and awesomely constructed it is. anna just GETSSSS ITTTTTTT#(and is using her 'get it' ability to hurt me bodily)#like with every chapter i read i am just assaulted with this intense desire to Make An Image which is not really an impulse im used to#since i don't draw a ton but anna's voice is just so evocative of images in a way that just. inspires every creative impulse inside of me#i took forever to read the december chapter but the moment i read it i already had an idea of something i wanted to draw for it.#my idea is. well. complex for me to say the least but as i told anna i am determined to make my skills match whatever i need to do because#the way she writes it is literally haunting me it is shooting me with a gun it is so something i have no idea how to handle#except i guess to repeat her themes and ideas and imagery in a collage of sorts#i don't know that's what my october chapter comic felt like- a collage. and this one does too in a way even though it's very different#i just like connecting the dots. and then smashing the dots together in an image#anyway. read thirteen. it is changing me all the way down to the dna
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Rockstars
#It's only#tuesday#And it's been a crazy week for me already#Somebody died#Somebody had to go to the hospital#They just told me another relativo who haven't come to México in 30 years#Is gonna spend the holy days in our home#So yeah im tired lmaooo#Anyway#c'est la vie#I can't wait to d1e :D#rymin#mingixryan#my art#rymin fanart#infinitytrain#Infinity train#infinitytrainseason4#infinitytrainbook4#ryan akagi#ryanakagifanart#Min gi park#Min gi park fanart#ryanxmingi#ryan akagi infinity train#Min gi park infinity train#infinity train book 4#Infinity train season 4
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look i know this month has been crazy already in what has been going on for me BUT IT GETS CRAZIER... I got to finally have my constant pain I've had for two years diagnosed... I have fibromyalgia lol i have a chronic illness??😭😭
tbf it doesn't change anything i was already coping with these pains because I've been sitting with em for 2 years i just have anti depressants now but you know what has changed... my character lore GOT SICK AS FUCK!!!!!!!🦅🦅🦅🦅 (lighthearted)
#not art#i feel like someones oc rn#wdym i have a higher sense of pain and i feel physical pain when i get stressed that sounds like what i did to my ocs at 10 for lore LMAO#on top of that i got told i have hyperelasticity and got told... hm yeah thats probably why you wear glasses#THEN HE PROCEEDS TO EXPLAIN EXACTLY WHAT HAS BEEN WRONG WITH MY EYES FOR YEARS WHAT THE FUCK#born to be blind ig i guess it wasnt that damn phone after all/joke#not gonna lie i kinda saw fibromyalgia coming because my family does have a history of it but still damn#im taking it pretty well rn but i was very mortified at the prospect of a chronic illness but. whatever im already coping well#AGAIN THIS DOES NOT CHANGE ANYTHING LOL i just think its crazy as hell#character lore got sick as hell this month i got into a car crash them boom you have chronic illness that is basically a disability#also you have funny nerves hehe you can stretch funny AND THAT MAKES YOU BLIND#i feel like someones oc#(not reallt a car crash almost was but. MIGHT AS WELL HAVE BEEN WITH HOW I WAS LEFT???)
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i genuinely cannot stand being around ppl who have to take their anger out on others . i'm so sick of always having to act like the bigger person to my Older brother while he can just tornado around my entire life & belongings & relationships without warrant all over smthing that had absolutely nothing to do with you or anyone, rlly.
#but HE runs and tells on ME?#i was just going to let shit blow over#lock myself away as fucking alwys like when we were little and he would cuss up a fucking storm#screaming crying and throwing the shit i bought over being unable to beat a game he plays every fucking day#set on fucking Easy mode#and hes hitting a bat into the door or wrecking my shit in my room or fucking. yelling abt me to the fuckin dog#and in the 'dog's voice' making the animal agree with him bcs im? acting crazy#over a fcking video game that u cant even tell him to turn off or at least stop fucking screaming and wailing or else it'll just set it off#sooner#when dad did it he was fcking drunk and i was illegitimate#it's like i cant even fcking escape fcking hell.#hiding all my bad grades in math bcs i couldnt read a stupid fking number right bcs i didnt want ppl screaming at me#for causing even more trouble than they already have to deal with and just living as dumb bcs it costs less#ill get over it ill try harder#i always have to be the bigger fucking man and im so fucking tired of it#but how are u supposed to cut off someone youve been assigned caretaker as b4 u were even born#im so fucking exhausted#anyways so yea. im pretty sensitive to tone so if i seem like a baby to smthing i apologize#i rlly just. cant stand sme things sometimes#i love getting told i never felt like a friend to my other siblings not only bcs of our massive age gap but also theyre legitimate and#i dont drink or smoke so apparently we cant hang without them always checking the time on their phones#while im taking them out to smthing they like like it's so fun i fcking love it here#anyways yea. love zero comprehension or compassion. love it. loving my life
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We really lost the battle when we let those paranormal/mysticism types frame the fact that nonbelievers never encounter that shit because the ghosts know you don't believe in them so they avoid you rather than the actual fact of the matter being that the human brain is a complicated mess of squishy organic material and neurons that will reinforce your already held beliefs by inventing evidence that wasn't there in reality
Like we really just lost the whole battle right then and there, probably one of the most culty things people who believe in the paranormal and mysticism say
#ignore me#was having a convo with a guy and he was like 'the reason you dont see it is because you dont believe and they know to avoid you'#in my head i was like 'that is one of the dumbest most brainwashed sentences i have ever heard'#whil externally i was like 'or the reality of the matter is that the human brain will invent evidence to support your already held belief'#and then he proceeded to tell me i was heing mean for not believing the people who have told me they encountered ghosts#like eye witness accounrs havent been shown to be the most unreliable kind of evidence you can have 😭😭😭😭#he was like 'wow thats crazy people tell you point blank about their experiences and you dont believe them'#and i was like 'no i dont cause theyre wrong' 😭😭😭#like im sorry but if you truly believe the reason nonbelievers dont encounter that shit is because the ghosts know to avoid them#you have been brainwashed and coerced into a cult or at the very least culty beliefs
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hey heads up !!! if any of u guys post tcm art, pls b wary of this person. they have reposted a very hefty amount of my mutuals (+ other artists tcmg fanart) uncredited, from both here and other platforms. they downright refused to take down the art i had drawn for a commission, along with their other posts, with the only explanation they had being that they had “no time” to credit anyone in their posts ��🏻♂️
i tried to explain to them how this was disrespectful calmly, they refused to not do it— so i called them out publicly, and then they blocked me 💀💀💀
#the texas chainsaw massacre game#tcm#im not sure if they ever took down the posts bc well… i cant see them..!#telling me that ‘its the internet’ and its ‘not that serious’#yet you cant seem to handle being told a very simple request; to credit the artists by name#and then blocking me… and then trying to claim ur being harassed.. when ur the one who started this— and simply wont just apologize#tiktok report system is hot ass so. i gotta make this callout post everywhere lmao#btw me and all of the people who are asking them to credit the artists and take down their posts.. have been literally just explaining why#this is wrong and why they need to take it down#its crazy how disrespectful people in this fandom r already holy shit 😭
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once again at my wits end bc of men
#rant ////#i hate being afab sometimes bc no matter what i do ill always get shit in return. this is the second time the hospital cafe staff has been#little “too friendly” w me already and it hasnt even been a month(::: this one patient is strating to drive me crazy bc istg if u dare ask#one more personal question im not responsible for what will happen. no i cant give u my pen bc u already got one and why do u specifically#want mine?? its nne of ur business if im wearing a white coat or scrubs??? stfu and let me redo ur bandages over ur catheter#MAYBE IF U HAD S KEPT QUIET INSTEAD OF CONSTANTLY ASKING ME IRRELEVANT THINGS THAT R STARTING TO FEEL LIKE HARRASSMENT MAYBE IT WOULDNT HUR#but also u kno what? i just applied over the flaster to FIXATE so yea i have to apply a little pressure. dont “ouch it hurt” me ur a grown#ass man tf#no i told u tons of times idk ur treatment plan nor am i responsible for it stop asking me stop calling ot for me LEAVE ME ALONE#if youre told u cant leave ur room to wander off whya re u asking me again??? thne going "yea well ill go n if they ask ill say my disciple#doc allowed me“ no i didnt?? ”well my number is written there anyways“ so?? its not my concern? just stay put ur average bp is 17 and u r#stil going out to smoke do you have a fucing death wish or smt#also leave me alone and no u cant call me anything other than doctor. stop acting like a douche u dont act like this to my friend. is it b#im afab and hes not? yeah im sure it is BC THATS ALWAYS THE CASE IN THIS GODDAMN COUNTRY AND IM SICK OF BEING EITHER TREATED W DISRESPECT W#WHEN I TRY TO MAINTAIN THAT FRIENDLY DISTANCE A REGULAR DOC PUTS ON JUST BC IM NOT A CIS MALE. bc wow when youre afab youre eithre asking#for it or youre a rude bitch its no inbetween im so tired
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#i have to say this somewhere or im gonna go crazy#so at a preschool. you HAVE to have one adult sitting at every table when kids are eating. and you also need a person in the hall#for kids getting their lunchboxes and going to the bathroom and shit ok. are you with me here. this makes sense#so today. my 2 coworkers had already taken the chairs bc i got caught up in the hall but i was so fucking hungry that i just ate standing u#which was fine. like i could just put my lunch down if someone needed my help and i Did that ok it was fine. no one was left alone#but later at SNACKTIME. it took me forever to get these 2 kids in the room and seated ready to eat & by the time i got in some kids were#already finished and ready to go to the playroom. so i was like ok i guess I'm not eating for the latter half of the day because they cant#be left alone. and my 2 coworkers at this point were sitting with the snackers and they looked fine so i looked after the Players#intermittently glancing to the snack tables to make sure everyone was fine mind you#So what happened here was.#There was a 20 second interval between the time i glanced up to see 2 adults at the snack table. And the time i glanced up to see#a completely unsupervised snack table. one kid STANDING UP ON THE TABLE blowing raspberries and pointing at the other kids#could not have been more than 20 or 30 seconds that i wasn't looking and NO ONE TOLD ME they were leaving the room#if i had been WARNED that they were leaving i would have prioritized the snackers and sat with them so no one choked and no one fucking#stood on the table#but they both just left for whatever reason without saying anything#and when i brought it up after school they were just like. well marty you were eating too much during lunch#next time you should eat before coming in to work so you can give the kids your full attention#??????? i already skipped a meal today for that exact reason?? how is it my fault that i don't want to starve?#am i actually in the wrong here because it's driving me FUCKING nuts. that was NOT a safe situation and it obviously can NOT happen again#but the issue was a lapse in communication not me wanting to eat food so i don't actually die#and those were two different times of day so they're not even relevant#obviously there are bigger issues in the world than this but i feel like throwing up over it. this was not my fault#I'm sorry that you guys can survive off of like 1 spoonful of granola and a single acai berry for the entire day but im not built like that
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...
#its crazy how much easier it is to do things when youre not completely miserable lol#this past week has been weird bc ive felt really really good and like normal in a way thats kinds unfathomable#im hoping its the medication but my mood was already on an upward tilt and i was told it would take like 6 weeks for the meds to work#property but like ive been sleeping way more than usual. and by that i literally just mean 8hrs a night lol which is weird for me#like that never ever ever happens multiple days in a row. so idk. when i feel better it makes the 0cd way easier to manage as well#and im just generally not as anxious. on the more worrisome side i kinda just give less of a fuck so like i have an exam im not ready for#Tuesday and im just kinda like hm fuck that lol. ill go thru lil fluctuations of having a lot of energy too#like: i could run around in circles rn. i dont have to but i could. like yesterday i was out with friends and i was like bouncing up and#down while standing and rocking from side to side while sitting. which i kinda do anyway while in crowds but it was more to expend energy#last night i also got like 5hrs of sleep. so like maaaaybe ive been on the bleeding edge of mood elevation but for the most part it just#feels good and not destructive. like if i felt like this all the time that would b fantastic. its like oh so this is y ppl dont long to b#put out of their misery lol. depression? who? i dont kno her. sounds fake. but as soon as i fucking say that ill b fucking slapped back#down to earth. ugh. annoying. no emotional object permanence. i hope its the meds. if this is the person i am under layers of misery then#that is fucking so insane. we shall see. im curious to hear what the psychiatrist thinks of my brain when i follow up with her#i gave her my full dys1exia assessment which gives a pretty good picture of how my head functions. oh fuck i bet i would do waaaayyy better#on thise test if i took it in this state of mind. but anyway she has that on top of like 3 assessment sheets i filled out#dispite everything i still want someone to categorize me into a discreet box. tell me doc. am i really bip0lar? really really?#ur sure??? like 1000% sure bc my brain wont let me accept that unless its beyond a reasonable doubt. i just doesn't seem that serious.#i mean. it is but like ya kno. its not that bad. ay. this glob of mush behind my eyes runs me in circles#but for now thats ok bc i feel like i could run up a mountain or punch someone in the face lol#unrelated
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tired of being called inconsiderate and rude the second I say something thats not exactly in a nice tone when my brain is working 3× more to be considerate of everyone and everything else 99% of the time.
#i feel like im actually going insane#my own sister backs up her husband (who i now see in a different light ((negative)) over me#and I was understanding at first. fine. maybe I do need to pick up after myself more maybe i am messy#and my friends and family even told me that because theyve brought it up so many times now maybe i am the problem and thats okay#so i. like yeah. okay i take up too much space. i'll step back. i stay out more. i'll clean my dishes right after i use them#i already do all that#and then today she DOES IT AGAIN!! and i broke down cause she basically said this is the last warning#you need to start looking for a new place (ive been saving up PENNIES for years. it'll take 3 full months of salary to even rent a ROOM)#it took me even longer cause i was unemployed for 6 months and had to use EVERYTHING I HAD SAVED#and i gave up. im back at home and i gave in. i took a video of my room and the living room and asked my friend#is there really anything else i have to do because i am TIRED AND I CANT SEE WHATS WRONG AND WHATS MESSY PLEASE#because fuck i feel like im actually INSANE cause the way my sister has been wording it to me its like im so messy#and my friend just replies..... i am so sorry for ever being on your sisters side because you are not messy at all#and the RELIEF i felt. the weight off my shoulders LIFTED OFF INSTANTLY#IM NOT CRAZY!!! IM NOT MESSY!! IM HUMAN AND NORMAL#im just so upset right now cause it just dawned on me that.... not a single person in my famiy has my back the way i have theirs#not even my own sister.... and im tired.#personal
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so nervuos for tmrw bc im seeing my cousin
#i love her so much But#Its my dads side of the family and i dont see them often at all and everything is always so awkward and#they dont know i dropped out of school and everytime my grandpa sees me he asks about school#and i havent seen him since before i Would have graduated this past may#like i would be graduated hs right now but#im not SO IF AYNYNE ASKS ABOUT IT IM GONNA LOSE ITTTT#god#hopefully my grandparents just wont be there Idk why they would bc im just going to hang w my cousin#but they tend to jumpscare me sometimes when i go out to see her#Gahhhgaaahhhhhahhaooouuoououou#i could just tell the truth bc idec about them knowing i dropped out its just embarrassing bc i lied for so long#buti just did bc when i first stopped going to school my mom told me not to tell anyone on that side of the fmaily..so..#i dont think shed care anymore either but its just been so long and ive never told them Augh#and my grandpa really wants me to go to college which i straight up just dont wanna do. not rn at least#and id need to get my ged first which ive been procrastinating on the entiire year Oopsies#my aunt always tells me not to listen to him thoughand that i dont have to go to college if i dont want to i am grateful for her..#shes always protective of me from him LOL i love my grandpa and he means well and stuff but#he will just say anything#and he always makes me cry in public or at family gatherings bc he starts talking to me about my dad#i knowppl just aska bout like school and plans for the future and stuff bc they care but i wish they wouldnt bc i do not know anything#i dont know a single thing about how my future is going to go or what i even want it to be or how im going to live and its stressful enough#already when im not being interrogated about it#Like lets just talk about something else. Lets talk about enstars#Isnt it crazy that shinobu has gone going on 15 months without a new 5*?..i think its a little crazy and i miss him
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seen both episodes of horizons now and holy fuck
#i was so used to being bored w jn tbh but this series already has me really hooked???#liko is a really well realized character and no scene feels wasted everything feels carefully set up#the tone is also so good like liko and am’s silent conversation when he finds her hiding on the ship???????#it was SO good and i like what theyre setting up with the new pokemon and i love the airship setting#i was nervous when eve told me it was another ��’travel the world hub’’ deal but unlike jn#theres like an even spread of pokemon from other regions#and not only that but pokemon that havent gotten too much love in general like alolan muk snorunt and carkoal#speaking of which THIS WAS CARKOALS FIRST APPEARANCE???#its also still being good w all of the starters too like so far fuecoco’s been the latest to show up#and it still has adequate screentime and personality to it#literally the only thing im hmmm abt is more charizard favoritism but like. i can forgive it with how even everything is#and i love that pikachu is their boss AND IT HAS VOLT TACKLE. BABYGIRL I MISSED YOU#what i was also worried abt was that theyd try to make it as close to ash and pikachus journey as possible#like same dynamic same setup same pikachu character (not really but same personality)#but no!! its all totally shaken up and the stuff that DOES evoke the original is still clever#and stands on its own!! like oh my god i cannot say enough how pleasantly surprised i am with horizons#i wasn’t pessimistic but i was like ‘’ill like it bc its pokemon regardless but wont be going crazy over it’’#but im like. SO anxious for the next episode now bc SPRIG :(#but like oh my god it all stands out. the character design the characters themselves the pokemon the animation the artstyle the music#the story the tone the setup like EVERYTHING is so good here#echoed voice
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hi! its a delight to see that you have been enjoying minat + ryoj (and p3 in general), your tags and art just capture the essence of what makes them enjoyable...! anyways. did you know that the p3 mangaka previously made a ryomina doujin? cant send links but if u google "ryomina sogabe" u should be able to find it! have a nice day o/
FUCKING WHAT?
#thank you for the ask anon!#compendiumnotebook#IM RUNNING TO GOOGLE AS WE SPEAK HOLY SHIT I ALMOST THEEW UP IN MY MOUTH#FUCK I WISH YOU WOULDNT OF TOLD ME THIS ANON#IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THE PAST HOUR IM CRYING LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO#WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME ACTUAL HEART ATTACK#i was feeling so down. so blue. but literally how am i supposed to feel any emotion when this pops into my ask box?#like fuckinf what?#wHATTTT#WHATTTTTTTTT#im standing on top of mt everest rn#i don't even wanna read any 18+ stuff like id rather not#i just wanna see if the mangaka has em hold hands or lean on each other#oh im gonna fucking throw up im crying this is too funny#'have a nice day" YOU HAVE CAUSED ME CRAZY AMOUNTS OF BRAIN DISEASE#oh someone just put me down already#HOW DO I POST THIS POST HOW DO I JUST SEND IT OFF#.#also i just wanna take a moment to say sorry if im not responding right away to things (not to u anon but ppl in general)#life has been in various extreme rough patches#its very tough for me rn.#so bare with me#um anyways#uh#ha#i feel like im going a little loopy#thank you for the sweet compliments at the beginning#im glad you lik e my art and tags s#they make me very happy#also it's fun to dissect them in regards to the story and it's themes
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also
#im making huge huge changes in my life and i think the next logical step would be to cut off jamie. ive already been ghosting him but thats#just me avoiding the problem. i just like. it feels fucked to be like hey i told you i was ok with what you did but i Changed my mind#i just think like. i have next to no contact with him and i feel fucking fantastic. we talk like every couple months on the rare occurrence#he can text and then i answer in vague short sentences and ghost. and now that i finally have firm boundaries with him and havent engaged#with him sexually its like. i feel like basically all my ties are cut. and i feel like im ready to let go for the first time. like ive#always felt like i just wasnt ready but now i like i Am ready its just a matter of like. doing it. thats difficult. even though i know hell#accept it because hes matured. and like. idk. i think its fine like this#and idk i think its fine like this. being the absolute barest form of acquaintances. i cannot stress how little we interact and how little#affect he has on my life at this point outside of what happened in the past. like i am in a good place he is 99% cut off i just need to do#the last bit. but like also fuck. you know. its hard to kinda finish it off. and its also like ooh it would hurt his feelings but now i#fucking. dont care lol. after everything. with blue i realize every day just how much more respected i feel and less gross and shitty#even with being jamies friend which we never were because whenever i was single we were sexual. i just felt bad. i never wanted to fuck#either. and he would say he loved me and id be like hahaha yeahhhh and now that ive finally drawn that boundary and said he cant do that#anymore i feel so much lighter and i just feel so happy and safe with blue in a way ive never felt with jamie and its like. im almost there#i feel like i might be able to cut him off by the end of the year. and thats crazy to me. i just also have a lot of like shit to unpack#in general too also. with what he did. and i just have a lot. but i feel like im progressing
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I was talking with a friend of mine about how the secret ending to aini thematically reminds me of Certain Parts of pathologic(1) and anyways tl;dr bachelor Ryuki is going to live rent free in my mind forever now. Guy who is obsessed with defeating death bc his life has been defined by it going to a small town in the Japanese countryside to learn the secret to immortality only to be made to fight an unwinnable battle against a horrific plague that threatens to take even his own life, all as those with power in the town all want to use and manipulate him for their own needs and the towns other doctors see him as naive at best or outright useless at worst
anyways I wrote a short fic about it because it won't leave my mind. bachelor ryuki's fun countryside vacation.
also date is the haruspex and mizuki is the changeling. ryuki is perpetually sick with the Plague and both of them cannot understand why this fucker won't just take the panacea please for the Love Of God just rest for ten fucking seconds-
#kuruto ryuki#my fics#contains implied spoilers for pathologic but nothing like. explicit?#guys who are playthings of the powers that be#who are doomed by the narrative hating them from the outright#but still fight for an ending anyways bc fuck you fate!#...ryuki having the sand plague constantly is basically canon tho-#guy who would walk out of the hospital when told he's seriously ill#i promise im not crazy. im going somewhere with this really.#like. im probably never going to expand on it more. but just trust me#it was all a game; but you knew that already; didn't you?#you've known from the very start. it's only ever been a game.#it could never be anything *but* a game.#anyways shoutouts to pathetic black-haired men. gotta be one of my favourite genders
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