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#i promise im not crazy. im going somewhere with this really.
nirvanai · 1 year
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I was talking with a friend of mine about how the secret ending to aini thematically reminds me of Certain Parts of pathologic(1) and anyways tl;dr bachelor Ryuki is going to live rent free in my mind forever now. Guy who is obsessed with defeating death bc his life has been defined by it going to a small town in the Japanese countryside to learn the secret to immortality only to be made to fight an unwinnable battle against a horrific plague that threatens to take even his own life, all as those with power in the town all want to use and manipulate him for their own needs and the towns other doctors see him as naive at best or outright useless at worst
anyways I wrote a short fic about it because it won't leave my mind. bachelor ryuki's fun countryside vacation.
also date is the haruspex and mizuki is the changeling. ryuki is perpetually sick with the Plague and both of them cannot understand why this fucker won't just take the panacea please for the Love Of God just rest for ten fucking seconds-
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impzone · 2 years
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little doodles about figuring out more about your mental illness after YEARS of a diagnosis!!! boy am i glad i figured it out i just wish it happened before i went on a whole arc about it!
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rekreku · 1 year
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hi hi <3 i absolutely love your writing. i saw that your requests are open!! if you’re comfortable with it, i was wondering if i am able to request zenitsu, tanjiro, and inosuke from demon slayer with a s/o!reader who gets severely injured during a mission with them? it’s okay if you’re not comfortable with doing this! thank you though :)
in harm’s way.
various demon slayer characters x gn! reader
type: angst
prompt: in which your boyfriend finds you severely injured.
note: thank you so much for the rq, sweetheart! <3 i love these three sm!! again, im sorry for being mia for over uhh (checks watch) a long time now! :’) i don’t have a set schedule and school has been kicking my ass. but i see everyone’s requests and i will get to them, i promise! <3
characters include: tanjiro, inosuke, and zenitsu.
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the first thing TANJIRO does when he sees you’re injured is scream out your name.
he stops whatever he’s doing to get you out of the middle of the fight, making sure nothing else can hurt you.
he keeps you close to his body, as if trying to keep you warm with his body heat.
he’s panicking, not sure what to do. he peppers your face in kisses, telling you that you’ll be okay and that you’re going to get the proper treatment you need soon.
inside, he blames himself for letting you get hurt; though, he’s not going to tell you that, but he will be apologizing over and over under his breath.
he gets you to a safe space and promises you he’ll be right back, continuing to kiss your face, using it as a way to calm himself down.
he gives you his kimono to stop as much bleeding as possible before returning to the battlefield.
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the first thing INOSUKE does when he sees you severely injured is stop everything he’s doing.
of course, that’s easier said than done, considering how passionate he is about fighting.
however, he’ll rush to your side, crying out your name and telling you to get up; he’d be extremely confused as to why you weren’t really responding.
and then, when he sees your wounds, he’ll go crazy. he’ll start mindlessly attacking the demons left and right, too blinded by his fury.
afterwards, he’ll take you somewhere safe, unsure of how to help.
he’ll ask tanjiro for help; which is a shocker anyway, considering how much he likes to take care of things himself, but he wants you safe and protected.
he’d feel lowkey extremely guilty, pinning it on himself for not protecting you or being your shield like he swore he would be.
he’ll stay by your side as much as he’s able before he has to leave for more missions.
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the first thing ZENITSU does when he sees you’re severely injured is cry hysterically.
he wants to make sure you’re okay, reaching for you and immediately dragging you out of harm’s way.
he’s probably swearing under his breath about not being able to be there to protect you, calling himself a coward.
he’d cry to tanjiro and inosuke, unable to fully get enough air to breathe properly, causing him to let out choked sobs.
he’d refuse to let go of you for even a minute, even if you were being examined.
he’d gently run his hand through your hair when you’re laying in his lap, whimpering soft words to you, practically pleading for you to keep fighting until they get help.
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christall77 · 8 months
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~❦A Dragon's Treasure❦~
M! Dragon x GN! Reader
I was gone for a long while but I hope it's still not too late to say Happy New Year! (⁠;⁠^⁠ω⁠^)
So I had this idea after I made an AI chat bot of this character so yeah, hope you guys enjoy and if you should find any mistakes feel free to tell me!
TW: Mentions of minor character deaths
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Finally after days of traveling on the back of your horses, both you and your friend Adrian reach the destination of your quest. Or more so, Adrian's quest. The huge mountain is in sight, where the castle and home of the infamous dark dragon Ryunir should reside in. Including the princess the beast has stolen away from the kingdom. Every person around the land knows about the legendary maneating dragon, who hoards unfathomable amounts of gold and riches inside his castle and his hate for humanity. All stolen from kings and royals alike, but it seemed like he had a special grudge against the royals in the kingdom Adrian and you call home. The king was rightfully scared about the danger that could strike any day, so he sent an army of knights to get rid of the fire breathing lizard. Only to never hear from them again and have his precious daughter, princess Amelia get taken by the massive beast.
Many other knights have tried to save her, especially now after the king has promised his daughter's hand in marriage. Your friend being one of them. Him and the princess always acted all lovey dovey around each other even while you were there watching the whole thing unfold. So it was only a matter of time until he asked, no begged you to come with him on this quest to save her. Despite your own hesitation and second thoughts. You two have been through thick and thin, he's been there for you when you needed him and vise versa, which is the reason why you're now standing on the edge of the mountain. Having already dismounted your horse as Adrian follows.
“Are you really sure we should do this?”, your voice comes out after you gulp down the lump in your throat at the sight. Right at the edge a small wobbly bridge is the only thing that connects the ground of the mountain and castle, the dark abyss below surrounding it. Adrian gives you a comforting pat on the shoulder, the determination evident on his face. “Don't worry (y/n), we have been successful with all our quests so far. Besides, I can't sit around and have princess Amelia locked up forever!”, “That's what the other knights must've thought as well before they most likely busted into flames...”
Not wasting any more time he approaches the creaky bridge and gives the robes an experimental tug. Waving you over after deeming it save enough. The darkness below doesn't make the way any less nerve wrecking, but Adrian makes sure to have a good hold on you while carefully moving alongside with you. A sigh of relief you were holding in leaves you once making it safely to the other side, now entering the darkened castle as quietly as possible through the creaky doors. The sounds echoing through the long and high hallways in front. It definitely would take a lot of time until any of you would find the right tower or room where the princess is hidden away.
Each step has to be chosen carefully, as any sound might alert the massive dragon residing somewhere deep within the castle. The floors and walls littered with cracks and damages, evidence that this place is much older and hasn't been taken care of in ages. Adrian clutches his sword tightly in his hands beside you, looking left and right towards each different corridor. With a nod to himself he turns to you and whispers, “Maybe we should split up...”, taking a few steps forward he chooses to go straight ahead. “You guard the entrance and distract the dragon, if he finds you first and I'll search for Amelia.”
“Are you crazy?!" You whisper shout towards him as your head almost snaps back towards him, keeping your tone down, ”I get that we might cover some more space this way, but mind you there's no way it would improve our chances with the dragon! Wait- Adrian!“ Before you could protest any further he speed walks away. Leaving you alone in the middle of the halls. ”I swear if I die I'll kill him if the dragon doesn't.“ You grumble to yourself, stepping through one of the hallways closest to the left. One hand hovering over the weapon in your belt just in case as you reassure yourself internally.
It almost feels like hours wandering around but finding nothing but even more halls and even the occasional bones of previous living humans who've entered the castle, which causes shivers to run down your spine. You've probably walked around in circles now but kept yourself close to the entrance like Adrian asked you to. Eventually the soles of your feet start to bother you and you decide to take a small seat on a small staircase. Checking your equipment and hoping that Adrian has found the princess in the while you were walking around aimlessly.
”This is so stupid... Should've known he would run off by himself again. Probably to also show off and be 'the knight in shining armor' for her.“ Consumed in your own little quiet rant and thoughts, you fail to notice the dark silhouette that starts to stirr behind you from your words. A large single golden eye opening and gazing down at the small human sitting below. Only once the massive beast rises and its hot breath blows against your back do you freeze, before slowly and anxiously turning around to face the dragon. It certainly was a sight you can't deny, after all you always had a respect and fascination with dragons, but at this moment survival is more important. A deep gutteral growl rumbles in the back of its throat, followed by a fierce ear piercing roar.
Stumbling up from your seat you make a run for it, barely managing to avoid its jaws, screaming in terror as the rumbling of footsteps follow close behind. In hopes of loosing the creature you run through every hall and corridor possible, making sure to take sharp turns, but no matter what you do the dragon keeps up without trouble. Shooting fireballs at you from time to time which you barely manage to avoid thankfully. It's only once you come to a dead end do you start panicking fully, looking around for any possible way out but finding none you press yourself against the wall. Hoping that the hard surface behind somehow swallows you up and takes you away from this place as your body trembles in fear. Wings unfurled from his back in an intimidating display the dragon approaches slowly, as if savoring the fact that you're trapped and about to face your demise.
Unable to think straight your brain decides to do the unthinkable as your widened eyes take in the size of him almost filling the entire hallway you're in. Instead of drawing your weapon or getting out of there you hurriedly blurt out, ”P-Please spare me big beautiful dragon.!“ Closing both eyes tightly, you await a fireball to roast you, or sharp teeth clamping down and kill you. Yet nothing happens. Opening one of your eyes you see the dragon has stopped in front of you, he seemed caught of guard by that compliment and tilts his head as puffs of smoke leave through his nostrils.
Never in his life was the red scaled beast complimented by a human, either having faced insults, fear and anger thrown at him. So this surprises him greatly, in a pleasant way. ”You think I'm beautiful human?“ He rumbles, his voice echoing through the halls as it bounces off the walls. Seeing that it somehow stopped the dragon from attacking you quickly nod. It might've been something you said in a panic, but after taking a good look at the creature you can't deny his majestic and powerful presence.
”Y-yes. I mean it's not every day one is face to face with an amazing creature of legends like a dragon.“, Your genuine interest in his kind stirrs a strange warmth within his large scaly chest, but not the usual heat he emits, it's foreign yet pleasant. A feeling he now wants to continue experiencing out of newfound curiosity. Moving his long neck down so his head is a little closer the creature gives you an expectant look as if asking what made you say all of this. ”Tell me, what about me is so beautiful little human?“
In response you let your gaze wander over the different parts of him, pointing out everything that intrigues you. ”Well for starters I've never seen wings so huge and cool like this. It always sounded interesting to experience flying, though I could only read about it in books.“, a small nervous chuckle leaves you before you continue while the huge dragon listens intently how you compliment him more. Things like how shiny his wine red scales look, those horns that give him an even more intimidating yet regal appearance and so on and so forth.
”But I think your eyes are the most beautiful thing of you, they shine like gold..“ At this point you seem to be rambling on as if forgetting about the danger you've been in. Though the dragon doesn't mind, in fact he likes it. Your last compliment struck a chord inside, feeling the beating of his heart quicken as his pupils dilate and the subtle sound of purring reverberates through his entire being. A pleased purr leaves the dragon as his head tilts so his large eye is peering down at your smaller frame better. ”What is your name little one?", he inquires curiously. Once you introduce yourself, a small smile makes its way onto his face when he tastes your name upon his tongue.
“It suits you little one. I'm Ryunir, it's very much a pleasure meeting you.” There's a strange haze that crosses his gaze which makes you fidget underneath its intensity. Another puff of warm air blows against your frame as he inhales and exhales deeply, taking in your scent. “Thank you, I'd like to chat a little longer but uhm...”, you pause trying to find the right words to say next. “I need to find my friend again so we can leave in peace.”
The dragon frowns upon hearing the word 'leave'. Since Ryunir has set his eyes upon you, he had a feeling you didn't come here all the way alone and were either here to steal the gold or rescue the princess he took. No matter which one it was he doesn't care anymore. Stealing the princess was only to spite the king who has made Ryunir's life more miserable by sending countless knights for centuries, before (y/n) and their friend to kill him for not only his riches, but also for his scales and head. Which is why he has started to reign terror over the people of this kingdom ever since. Yes he did keep the girl away from being saved, but Ryunir never liked having her here either. But now that you're here? Your friend could rescue the royal away for all he cares, what he wants is to have you by his side for the rest of his life.
In the dragon's eyes you've become his most priced treasure, his mate. Ryunir can't believe it himself entirely as well, yet there's something inside him that tells him that you are meant to be his. Wether it's instincts or the fact that he's been lonely without any positive interactions for as long as the beast can remember for the recent few 100 of years, one thing is for sure. You've made your way into his heart and there's nothing that's going to take you away from him.
“Leave? No... Stay with me little one.”, before you could protest or say anything further the dragon leans down with a soft whine. Snatching you up by the back of your gear, like a mother cat carrying her kittens and taking you deeper into the castle. “W-Wait! No I can't stay.! Adrien!” Paying your calls for help no mind, the dragon continues with a small pep in his step. The sound of his footsteps echoing through the silent empty hallways until entering a large chamber filled with riches. Mountains upon mountains of gold, jewels and many more things that has some type of value as far as your eyes can see. Reaching his desired spot surrounded by a few pillars, Ryunir gently drops you down before coiling his tail around you in a warm and protective embrace. Lighting up the torches and chandeliers hanging upon the walls, ceiling and columns with a light breath of fire, surrounding the both of you in a more cozy atmosphere.
Holding you close to his red scaly body as he gets comfortable, curling up and nuzzling his snout against your smaller head. His entire being vibrating as he purrs affectionately. “Comfy my dear treasure?”, Ryunir rumbles softly in question. “Yes?” Your answer comes out more like a question than intended but the beast takes it nonetheless with a pleased growl. “Don't worry, I won't do anything you're not comfortable with. You're mine now and I intend to have my mate protected and satisfied no matter what."
His words are filled with honesty and utter devotion. A promise to keep you safe and under his care for as long as he lives. Tenderly brushing a few strands of hair out of your face with his claw, making sure to not hurt or scratch you with it. Despite your initial reluctance you end up enjoying his company more than anticipated. Keeping light conversations all the while showing nothing but tenderness and longing towards you. His heat emitting from his body also helps calming down your thoughts, practically melting into his coils until the both of you take a rest together and doze off.
It's only after what felt a few moments later that someone is trying to shake you awake. With a small groan your eyes meet Adrian who has a panicked look on his face, the princess hiding at the doorway of the gigantic chamber. ”(Y/n) wake up!“ He whisper shouts, making sure to not wake the beast sleeping beside you. Blinking both eyes open, startled you meet your friend's gaze. ”Oh now you're showing up? Where were you almost an hour ago?!“, flailing your hands in expiration you then let out a deep sigh after hearing your friend's apology.
”I'm sorry (y/n), but this beast has trapped me earlier but luckily I made it out. And look! I found Amelia!“ Gesturing towards the girl she gives you a quiet wave of her hand, yet she's visibly tense by the fact that the dragon is here. Adrian freezes swiftly when the dragon in question shifts but doesn't wake up just yet, instead pulling you closer towards his head despite still being asleep. ”Lets get you out of here...“, he whispers climbing up the pile of gold, as sneakily as those allow him to be until he reaches you and holds out his leather gloves hand. Grasping yours and trying to pull you out of the tight coils around your frame.
”Adrian, please stop. Just leave!“ Ushering him away in a hurry as the tail tightens around you. ”Take Amelia and go.“, Adrian pauses then shakes his head, ”I'm not leaving you here with this monster (y/n)!“ He gives you a look that tells you that he won't back down no matter what. With a final pull with both of his hands he manages to get his friend out, almost falling down the gold pile in the process, managing to catch the both of you steady just barely.
Though the quiet celebration was short lived once the eye of the beast opens, as if sensing that his mate is not within his hold anymore. His pupils turn into slits upon seeing the both of you, in particular your friend holding you close. With a furious roar he rises, the riches around you flying and getting thrown everywhere as he moves. ”Come hurry! This way!“ Princess Amelia yells out, holding the door open as Adrian pulls you along as fast as possible. Just narrowly escaping Ryunir's jaws and rushing towards the entrance with you and the princess in tow who points out the direction towards the exit she has found at a time in her own attempts to escape.
Behind you the enraged dragon roars out and wastes no time chasing after the group of three, through every hallway possible. Luckily with Amelia on their side there won't be a chance to run into any dead ends. Soon the exit is in sight and Adrian pushes the both of you forward, stopping in his tracks to face Ryunir with a determined face. Before the dragon could let out his breath of fire, your friend cuts the rope beside him which was holding the massive metal gate of the entrance up, only to have it slam down upon the dragon's scaly back. A furious and pained shriek getting forced from his being. Successfully trapping him underneath as he trashes wildly on hopes of getting out. Not wasting any more time Adrian pushes you and the princess forward onto the wobbly bridge until you finally reach the mountain once more.
Relief rushes through the other two once the group got onto their horse and gallop away, yet as you leave in tow the cries of Ryunir still can be heard in the distance. As if calling out for you to return at the loss of your presence. With a heavy heart and head held low you stay quiet for the rest of the trip back until reaching the kingdom at last heart still beating wildly from the escape.
When Adrian brought back the king's daughter he was allowed to, as promised, to be wed to Amelia, which of course he couldn't turn down. Days have gone by until the wedding finally comes around, you couldn't be happier for your friend but the events from the castle still linger in your mind. As absurd as one might think it is, you actually ended up enjoying your time with Ryunir even if it was a rough start and he tried to kill you initially. But somehow he wove himself into your heart and leaving him made you feel bad.
As you sit by the lake by yourself lost in thought Adrian approached you from behind and gives you a concerned look. ”What's wrong (y/n)? This is my wedding party, have some fun... I don't want to see my best friend down on such a beautiful day.“, squeezing your shoulder gently he tries to lighten up the mood but ends up sitting down beside you on the grass not caring if his white suit gets dirty. ”Something is bothering you...“ he points out, already knowing that it must be something that happened regarding the quest. Finally nodding your head you turn to him, ”Remember the dragon?“
Scrunching his eyebrows he nods giving you a concerned look. ”Has he hurt you?“, he questions, ”No it's not that, he seemed to like me... We actually talked and it felt nice.“ Adrian listens to your ramblings, showing his surprise and disbelief at the story you're telling him. After all, how could the dark dragon which the kingdom has feared for so long be the same you described?
All of a sudden a shadow casts overhead making the two of you blink in confusion. The roar and beating of large wings in the distance unmistakable. And speak of the devil, Ryunir has arrived. He must've freed himself somehow and now is circling the castle before diving down. Hearing screams and distressed yells from the people the both of you rush towards the chaos. Men and women running frantically to get safe as the king shouts orders towards his knights to take down the monster. Adrian joins them as you stand there for a moment to let the situation process in your head.
Ryunir lands harshly in the middle of the town, growling fiercely as his gaze fleets over the crowd of humans. Hoping to find his mate somewhere in those masses. Not caring if he steps over buildings or other structures, knocking them down in his frantic search. Picking up people with his claws that might resemble your appearance before tossing them away carelessly after seeing it's not the human he's looking for. The knights rush into the scene and start firing arrows upon arrows at the beast, only angering him further even though they barely even pierce his skin. Becoming annoyed by their attempts to kill him he lifts his head high in the air before surrounding the army with hot flames. Some manage to get out of the attack just barely yet badly wounded. Leaping into the air to move more inward of the kingdom he continues looking until a lone knight catches his attention. Recognizing Adrian immediately his nostrils flare up with smoke, seeing the one that has in his eyes, taken away his mate from him fills himnwith unbridled rage.
Seeing the anger flash across the dragon's visage your friend turns around a corner to avoid the incoming fire blast. The flames almost burning his suit. He has to find you quickly, if what you told him was true then Ryunir must be here for a special reason. Avoiding one fire ball after another, Adrian rushes towards the castle grounds towards the woods where he last saw you. With a loud roar the dark dragon climbs up one of the towers and leaps down, the force shaking the ground, sending dust all over and making Adrian stumble the powerful force of the wind throwing him against a nearby tree.
Forcing your friend against the wooden bark, Ryunir's throat starts heating up as he prepares to end the human in front of him, mouth wide open to rip him into pieces. ”Stop!“, Ryunir's jaws clamp shut just inches away, immediately turning his head towards the sound of your voice. The panic and worry on your face very much evident, you hurry over just to stand a safe distance away to keep his attention away from your friend. When he finally sees you standing there in the flesh, his wings lower and his eyes soften. His pupils dilating as he slowly steps closer, ”(y/n)...“, with an almost inaudible murmur Ryunir utters your name. Standing before you his head lowers towards you, sniffing and taking in your scent as if to make sure you're really there in front of him. Finally placing both of your hands upon his scaly snout he rumbles contently and closes his eyes, calming down against the soft caresses.
Adrian's gaze fleets between his friend and the massive dragon as he catches his breath. ”What's happening..?“, slowly he tries to force himself onto his feet with a groan, leaning against the trunk of the tree for support. The dragon immediately starts growling again turning his heated gaze back, but before any of you could say or do anything Ryunir gently lifts you off the ground just like the first time he did, sending Adrian another glare with a loud huff before spreading those massive wings and flying away.
Instead of landing at the castle like you assumed he stops at a far distance away in a clearing amidst the woods, landing safely by a lake and making sure to set you down on your two feet. ”There, you're safe now my mate.“, he announces proudly puffing out his chest, ”That bad human won't steal you away from me again.“ Ryunir wraps his tail around you and pulls you close, a pleasant warmth running through his entire body when you return the gesture.
”He's actually my friend Ryunir, he wasn't trying to steal me away. Adrian thought you would've eaten me back then in the castle.“, you clarify. For a moment his purring comes to a halt as he stares down into those eyes of yours, when he sees that you're actually being serious he averts his gaze almost like a pet that has been caught in an act. Yet he doesn't seem to be bothered by the chaos he's caused and quickly focuses back on the human before him. ”Oh well that doesn't matter. What matters is having my beloved treasure by my side again.“, without thinking he leans down and gives you a loving lick on the cheek. Seeing how stunned you are from his action he lets out an amused chuckle, curling up around your smaller frame, his head resting against yours. ”And there's nothing that will seperate us. That's a promise“
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auschizm · 1 month
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this is an offensive symptom to have but its real and i promise it isnt a troll, just hear me out: i haven't had a chance to talk to a doctor about this because of our economic situation, but i have a symptom where the n word plays in my head whenever i see a human or animal with dark pigmentation, not just black people but also dogs at the dog park for example
for context im a 19F afab european-american woman. and i don't know what to do about this because a few weeks ago on my birthday i was just sitting there at a restaurant on a busy day, and i was sitting by the entrance to charge my phone while a lot of mostly black people walked in and out, and i received the n word playing in my head a few hundred times and there was nothing i could do about it. I'm not racist i just have this recurring involuntary duosyllabic thought that i can't control.
this could be related to ocd or it could be some other type of coprolalia thoughts. but i also have thoughts multiple times a day saying "i am going to k*** m*s***", which i know I'm not going to do, it just gets really annoying and recently I interrupt those thoughts by thinking SHUT UP SHUT UP DON'T SAY THAT or something which certainly feels like I'm "going crazy" or something but i don't know what's wrong with me. (both of these have happened since around autumn/winter of 2023.)
i told my mom about this and she knows, we just haven't had a chance to talk to a doctor because we are moving to a different house. I've been diagnosed with autism and ADHD, and i was given a GAD diagnosis in January 2023 with the doctor saying i had some ocdspec traits of obsessive compulsiveness, tics, dissociation, and i forgot what else he mentioned but maybe the fact that i stutter? (i dont know what he meant by tics, back then i just made noises when lost in thought or typing things, and i used to have echolalia when i was 5 or something, this was before the current symptoms) i have no way of knowing right now if this is my Super Mega Autism (autism/adhd/anxiety + ocdspec traits) or if it's an ocdspec disorder if i am developing schizophrenia or schizotypal or something. and I'm not asking for a diagnosis or anything i just want to know what your thoughts are on the symptom situation because it's weird and i don't want to publicly post about it.
(and another thing, sometimes when I'm alone i stim by saying "vinegar vinegar vinegar" or Something Else if you know what i mean, and it might be controversial to have coprolalia-related stims, but my head/face feels warm and electric and i say it to calm down and feel normal again which is not something i feel comfortable telling a doctor about. I have a stutter affecting my speech, but i don't completely "involuntarily speak" offensive things, i just involuntarily think KMS and the N word on a consistent basis without variation in the symptoms besides them getting worse, and sometimes get a strong urge to say "vinegar" or just the last 2 syllables of vinegar, which sounds terrible but i think it's similar to coprolalia and i only do it when alone where nobody can hear me.) again this might sound fake or like a troll ask but i promise it isn't. what are your thoughts on this? again im not asking for a diagnosis i just need somewhere to anonymously talk about this.
1) Obsessive compulsive thinking is not fully within your control and does not reflect your actual desires or character. The best way to manage it is actually to stop moralizing it and to focus your attention on what actually leaves your head. 2) Of course no mental disorder excuses acting in racist and otherwise bigoted ways, but things happening exclusively inside your head can't hurt anyone but yourself
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xflixer7 · 10 months
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Natalie x fem reader
They are at Natalie's house, because nats parents are gone out somewhere, and reader wanted to go, and Nat and reader are definition of grumpy gf x sunshine gf
Nat was smoking and reader tries but just choked and gets upset 😭😭
pairings:natalie scatorccio x female reader
warnings:kissing? nothing to crazy pipe down
word count:650(rounded)
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it all started when nat was talking about random things to you while untying her cleats “well my moms not home so-“ “OH MY GOD” “what?” “can we go to yours?” “no y/n i like your house better you know that” “BUT PLEASSSSEEE” “your not talking me out of this i said no.” “IF YOU LOVED ME YOU WOUL-“
…..
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“i can’t believe you convinced me to do this” you smile brightly at her while you guys get in your car “hm? it’s not like i haven’t been there before” “yah but-never mind” “what’s wrong?” “nothing” “we don’t have to go if you really don’t want to…” you sigh and look down “for fucks sake y/n drive before i change my mind” you smile and turn the key
the door opened she sighed and walked to the fridge opening the door before slamming it “uggghh there’s nothing to eat in this shithole can we just go to your house” “no nat! we’re already here so” “fine”
“ok what to watch” nat clicks her tongue “nightmare on elm street?” “bleh no way not again” “ok well all we have is that or disney movies “oh a disney movie! let’s watch that”she sighed and put the tape in the vhs player you guys sit together watching the little mermaid
nat gets up and grunts walking to the bathroom you frown and look at her coming back into the room with two baggys her hand weed and rolling paper “no nat” “what?” “i wanted to watch it with you” “but i am watching it promise” you pause the movie “ok than what just happened she looks at you with her eyebrow’s furrowed “what?” “what just happened because you were watching it��� “omg y/n” “what tell me what happened” “uh she put the fork in her hair or whatever” “WRONG” “her dad just destroyed all of her things she collected from the humans” “your weird” you frown and look at her rolling one
“ok well those can’t taste good” “want to try” she says smirking at you holding the blunt out in front of you “um ok” you sit criss cross in front of her she lights it and brings the blunt to her mouth inhaling than exhaling “ok gimmie” you say reaching out for it and putting it in between your lips sucking the smoke into you mouth it quickly fills into your lungs you start a coughing fit waving your hands in your face
….
….
“BAHAHAHAHAHA-“ “I CANT BREATHE” you finally calm down after lots of water and breathing “YUCK!” “and you! you laughed at me” “i’m so very sorry dear y/n” you pout and unpause the movie turning on to your side “awww y/n” you grunt and stand up walking out of the room “where are you going??” “IM GETTING A POPSICLE” “HEY GET ME ONE” “GET IT YOURSELF” she scoffs and brings the blunt to her lips you walk back in silently with two popsicles in your hand both wrapped in paper towels you give one to her and sit back down
“aww so sweet of you” “yah yah” you eat your popsicles watching the movie “y/n y/n” nat shakes your arm “what” you say blankly looking at her she kisses you you jolt up and kiss her back than pull away “no i’m mad at you” “aw i’m very sorry for laughing at you dearest wife” “that’s good for now..” she laughs and you kiss again you pull away still holding your popsicle stick in one hand “you taste yucky” “i take offense to that” “no still love you don’t worry! but put that down” you look down at her joint she sighs and puts it out on her side table
“oh look there getting married how cuteeeee” “bleh” “aww there kissing” nat covered your eyes “your too young for these rated r seens!!” you push her hand off of you “oh shut up” you grab her face and kiss all over her “am i too young for that?” “well that’s different..” “ah i see”
send more!! there’s are fun to make hope you like it
-🙈
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princessb4mbi · 2 years
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MESSAGES I CAN’T SEND
꩜ tags black!reader, therapist!eren, college setting, age gap (reader in 20s, eren in 30s), power dynamic, not so protective sex? mentions of death [not proofread]
꩜ synopsis isn’t it obvious to hide your private life better? or was it not obvious when a video of you dry-humping a pillow was sent to your therapist.
@ word count 3.6k
story below the cut !!
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ever since you’ve lost your mother to old age, your mental health has spiraled downwards a little bit. you’ve had the privilege of knowing when she WOULD die and at-least died in a proper place rather than somewhere shitty, so that’s cheered your spirits up a little bit. she was your best friend though, and losing your best friend is painful. you went to her whenever you could, talked on the phone for hours, and slept in her bed every night as if you were still five years old. 
you weren’t the only one suffering though, your childhood friend sasha couldn’t stand watching you wither away. even though she did everything she could, she knew she was capable of oh so much. 
you weren’t the only one suffering though, your childhood friend sasha couldn’t stand watching you wither away. even though she did everything she could, she knew she was capable of oh so much. 
“do you want me to hook you up with my therapist? he’ll seriously help you clear all cloudy thoughts away y/n,” sasha says caressing your cheeks
you move your face away from her hand, “they aren’t cloudy thoughts sas, im just grieving my mother..” 
“i know baby, i know.. but i don’t want to grieve YOU if you die of a heartbreak. i want you to get better, physically and mentally.” sasha looks at me emphatically.
she pulls out her phone and scrolls through her contacts until stopping at a card called “dr.jaeger”. “listen, give him a call please. his prices are cheap and his place is nice. it’s not like those dull white offices with an ugly long chair and a monotone person.” 
you sighed, reluctantly agreeing to her copying and pasting the number to your phone. “okey, i gotta go now babe, but PROMISE me you’ll give him a call, he’ll help you, and if he doesn’t i’ll play for any of your bills ok?” sasha says packing up her stuff. she kisses your cheek before leaving the quiet study area, leaving you alone to your own thoughts. 
you stare at the contact card, pulling dr. jaeger’s name up on your laptop and scrolling through his website. sasha was right about one thing, his prices WERE cheap. about $65 an hour and he also had packages where two weeks of therapy would be about $350 in total.   
the prices however, weren’t enough to convince you fully, as your scroll down to see the reviews.  
“dr. jaeger saved me. after the loss of my wife, i never felt like so lonely, but my daughter told me about him and he’s helped me heal properly and not turn to anything crazy. he’s an amazing person with amazing talents as such a young age. 5 stars” 
ok.. that was something. not that you were going to invalidate them, but that seemed just.. fake. you decided to read another one.
“oh my gosh. no one would believe how amazing someone is at listening and understanding a person’s thoughts. dr. jaeger was nothing like those terrible therapists who make you pay $100 for an shitty hour call. oh how i wished i can say more, but the character limit is fu” 
you giggled at that one. maybe i should give him a call. with a deep breath, you called the number. 
“hello? my name is y/n, i’d like to speak to dr. jaeger please.” 
— 
it’s been about a month since you’ve scheduled a session with dr. jaeger, only having to wait that long due to “heavy traffic”. sasha is currently driving you to the building. 
“you know, i’m really proud of you for calling. i was scared you were going to stay depressed forever.” sasha says over her 80s radio playing. 
“let’s not get too happy yet, he could still be shit at his job..” you say cutting down any happy thoughts. 
“you’re STILL doubting him y/n? i get that some people are money hungry, but i promise you he’s not. if he was, do you think ME of all people would be recommending you to him? i mean c’mon, have some faith please.” 
“i’m sorry, i just nervous ok. my stomach is doing backflips at the moment.” 
“hey man, if you feel like farting, ill park somewhere and you can walk the rest of the way.”
you two pull up to the parking lot, fancy with a modern style front. the office itself if very modern and 2 floored. 
“k, i’m gonna drop you off here, call me when you’re done ok?” 
you walk out of sasha’s car, waving her goodbye while she drives away. you walk into the sleek office, with painting from what you the assume were from the last two centuries. 
the receptionist greets you with a nice smile “welcome, how may i help you today?” you give her your name. “ah i see, you right on time then, ill have this guard guide you to dr. jaeger’s office.” just then, a semi tall man with a black uniform from comes in-front of me. “right this way.” 
he leads me into the elevator, where he then leads me into a hallway with lots of rooms. there’s multiple therapists in this building, all with different ways. as i look through the glass windows, i see pet therapy, group therapy and even massage therapy. the guard finally stops at a door, with a name tag having “DR. JAEGER” on it. “here’s your room, have a nice day.” he says as he’s walking away. you give him a quick thank you and knock on the door. 
a deep “come in.” follows shortly after, and you enter the room. first impression of when you enter the room was that sasha was right. the room was anything from boring, and didn’t have white walls but instead had a mix of brown and auburn. there was lots of old-style decor too. a record player, cd’s and even the tv was kinda old. 
however you were greeted with the most shocking thing of all, dr. jaeger himself. he looked away from his papers, to look at you and gave you a warm smile. his visuals was… something you didn’t expect. most therapist are middle-aged men and women, that are sort-of not the most attractive. but that was ok, because they wanted to help you, not seduce you. dr. jaeger on the other hand was extremely beautiful. he has dark brown hair, put up in a semi-messy bun, the most luscious green eyes, and very kissable pink lips. 
i guess you were admiring his facial features for too long to notice dr. jaeger looking at you weirdly. “maybe un-responsive.” he mutters to himself, typing down on his laptop. upon hearing his words, you apologize and scurried to the seat in-front of him. 
“or not. . . my name is dr. jaeger, if you’ve haven’t gotten a chance to see on the door.” 
“i did, sorry for not responding earlier.” 
“it’s ok, its common for most genders to be shocked at how i look.” dr. jaeger said in a non-concerned voice. you were took aback a little by his comment, most genders to be shocked at how he looked? you were wondering if he was just annoyed at the common occurrence or just knew that he was an attractive man. “pushing that aside,” he sighed “sasha has told me a lot about you.” he says looking up at you. 
“she did?” you question.
“mhm, she cares for you ms….” he looks at the paper look for your last name. 
“y/l/n.” 
“ah, thank you. sasha cares for you ms. y/l/n. she talks about your recovery, and wants you to best happy for her.” he says maintaining eye contact. you can’t respond to such kindness. all you can do is nod your head and smile. 
“but as a therapist view-point, the death of a loved one is one of the hardest battle we have to overcome as a human being. no matter how emotionless a person may be, the death of anything else to them will always cause someone to break. that’s just how we are, we humans . . . after all.” he says empathically. 
“my job isn’t to make you forget your mother, or forget the pain you feel about her. you always feel pain lingering about her, and that’s ok. i’m just here to help you reduce that pain.” 
you were shocked. cheap prices, handsome therapist AND a good one at that? maybe it’s good to stay faithful after all. 
— 
it’s been about 3 weeks since you’ve had daily therapy sessions with mr. jaeger and he’s honestly been helping you a lot. you had different kinds of sessions, like walking around and even some pet therapy. today was for a usual one-on-one walk around the building beautiful outside landscape.
as you and dr. jaeger walk around, you wave to the other clients with their own therapists. “see how social you’ve gotten? when we first came here, you were begging to stay back inside due to all the people,” he jokes around. “now, you’re friendly with them. it’s good progress.” he smiles to himself. 
“it was only because of you, dr. jaeger. i don’t think i’d be the way i am without your help.” 
“ah. . . don’t flatter me too much. let’s sit right here yea?” he says pointing towards the swinging wood benches. “it’s beautiful outside, isn’t it ms. y/l/n?” he turns to look at you. 
“yea, it really is.” you turn back to stare at him. god, you can stare into his eyes for hours. it’s something that about that were so addicting, that you couldn’t look away if you wanted to. to break the silence, you decided to follow up with a cheeky comment. “say dr. jaeger, you really know how to keep a client.” he moves his head to the side, confused. “i like to believe that my clients stay with my due to how i help them and not my looks.” ah fuck. it was not received well at all, and you just profusely apologized to him. 
“but, if my looks did make people stay, that wouldn’t be all too bad huh,” he says giving a hearty laugh. “but tell me now, ms y/l/n. does my looks make you stay?” you were at a loss for words. one part of you wanted to say “fuck yes” while another part of you wanted to say “absolutely not”. and you of course went with the latter. 
“whatever your answer is, it doesn’t bother me either way. . . but it looks like our time is up ms. y/l/n.” you look down at your phone for the time. it was up after he exclaimed. the two of you head back to his office to pick you up your stuff. 
that night later, you were chilling in your bed, getting ready to dose off. you however, couldn’t sleep without thinking about a fantasy. it didn’t matter what type, other than it having to be something interesting. you close your eyes, your mind shifting to dr. jaeger, and the moments between you two that drove you insane. like that one time he wore a turtle neck, showing off his clothed six-pack abs. you imagined yourself touching them, feeling the rock-hardness of them. you open your eyes again, looking around the room. to be honest, you haven’t.. you know what, in a while and you thought it might be time to do it again. 
you move your bedsheets closer to the edge to give you more space. and moved all your pillows away except for one. you pulled your phone out and started to record. it might seem weird to other people, but you like to record yourself, in the time that you couldn’t find anything good on twitter or reddit. 
you start to rock your hips back n forth on the pillow, assuming it the body of a male. maybe it was dr. jaeger body you could’ve been assuming it off. either way, it turned you on, seeing how you started to move faster on your pillow. one of your hands grip the pillow, as the other hand massages your boob. you move faster, enjoying the friction your clit is getting between the pillow and your soaked panties. you close your eyes, imagining dr. jaeger guiding your body with his big, veiny hands. as you’re about to climax, you can’t help but subtly whimper his name. 
once you’ve finished, you end the video. while you’re cleaning up, sasha enters the room. “hey girlie, i was thinking of getting some drinks tomorrow night? wanna come?” she says exciting. “i would but i have a session with dr. jaeger tomorrow.” 
“boo, you’re boring.” 
“whatever, i’m going to the shower, so let me know if anything happens ok?” 
“yea yea boring y/n.” 
you go to the bathroom and take off your clothes, hopping inside the shower. you turn on the water, letting the lukewarm water hit your skin. you are alone with your thoughts until sasha comes inside the bathroom. 
“not to be nosey, but dr. jaeger texted you.” she says. 
“mhm really? what did he say?” 
“i didn’t look at it properly, but something about a daily wellness video?” you knew right away. dr. jaeger usual makes his clients make videos of themselves with positive affirmations, then with their consent, he’ll use it on his website for future clientele. 
“ahh ok! just send him the most recent video.” you photo gallery takes forever to update, so there’s a chance it’ll take forever to show the video of your “naughty time”. 
“ok, sending right now… and it’s sent. if he wants a further conversation, i’ll let you know.” 
“thanks sash.” 
as you walk out the steamy bathroom, and get ready for bed, you check your notifications for any new ones. you go into the chat between you and dr. jaeger, seeing if theres anything new. you took a look at the video of your affirmation, seeing the shirt you wore today as the thumbnail. you clicked on it, expecting your face to zoom out, as you were testing the camera quality always. to your shock, you camera didn’t zoom out. but instead was your body moving back and forth on something. your heart dropped. it couldn’t be. you’re praying it wasn’t. you skip some of the video to see if it was truly what you think it was, but the video suddenly changed to a more in-depth shot of you humping the pillow with your panties being in view. 
your heart start to beat faster than usual. you click off the video to delete it right away. dr. jaeger didn’t respond to it, and it said it was ‘delivered.’ you wanted to tell yourself that he hasn’t seen it, and probably watches those videos early in the morning. you weren’t going to stress yourself out though, you were just gonna go to his office per usual, and get counseling per usual.
— 
you take a deep breath and knock at his door, hoping it all ends well. you hear his “come in” but it sounds different from before. his voice went an octave lower. you walk into the room, seeing a more “messy” side of dr. jaeger. at-least he didn’t look at cleaned up as he usually does. his bun was a lot more frizzy from before and he had two buttons undone on his button up shirt. 
maybe he had a rough morning. you think to yourself. “good morning ms. y/l/n. how was your night?” you stopped for a second. such a simple question was something so dangerous to you. “it was fine, dr. jaeger. how about yours?” 
“oh. one of the best i’ve had in a while.” 
“ah. mine was the worst i’ve had in a while.” you mumbled. 
“really? i would’ve assumed you’ve had a very nice night ms. y/l/n.” 
you stare at him confused. what could he mean by that? yea, you fixed your hair a little better than usual, and your eye bags have gone away overtime, but you truly did have a sleepless night yesterday. dr. jaeger gets up from his chair, to lean on his desk, standing in-front of you. he stared down at you with his usually lighter colored eyes now displayed a dark-green. and his pupils were more extended. 
“i don’t know what gives you the impression that i’ve had a nice night dr. jaeger.” 
he bends to to match the height of the chair, and put both of his hands on the rest, restricting me from mounting off of it easily. “let’s cut the crap, y/n. i saw what you sent me.” at this moment, it felt like 100 daggers were suddenly lodged into your chest. 
“i wondered why you asked what you did yesterday. i thought to myself ‘maybe she thought i was attractive’, but i see it was more than that i see,” he says not breaking eye contact. “you see, as a human, we see something we like, and have many kinds of thoughts about it. and i see the thoughts you have towards me are stronger than what i expected.” 
“i’m truly sorry dr. jaeg-“ 
“call me eren, seeing as that is what you called me in the video.” 
“i’m sorry eren, truly. i don’t want to do anything to make you uncomfortable or hurt this relationship between us.” i say holding back my tears. 
“hurt? uncomfortable? those words are out of the park right now,” he says standing up. “to be honest, tell me why you came today y/n.” 
“to have a therapy session with you.” you meekly say.
“is my looks standing in the way of you healing with the death of your mother?” he says standing behind me. 
“not at all, dr. jae- eren.” 
“so then what provoked you to send me a five minute long video of you fucking yourself to a pillow in the imagination that it’s me?” you were at a loss for words. he was right. your heart sank as his word dug deeper into you. and you couldn’t hold back your tears anymore. you started to quietly sob, feeling large hands down your shoulders. you feel a hot breath near your eyes chill down your spine. “don’t cry, not in this manner at least,” he says in your ear. 
“cry because you can’t handle it, y/n.” 
you stopped and turned to look at him. he had a devilish grin on his face. “handle what?” you say, not catching his gist. 
“you’ll find out soon enough.”
eren lifts you up by the arm and spins you around to face him completely. you didn’t know what was going on, but you didn’t want to push away. your faces was a mere 4 inches away from each other. “can i? y/n. . . can i give you what you want?” 
you look at his eyes then his lips then his eyes again. fuck it, you nod your head and eren kisses you passionately. he stops kissing you for a moment to push the chairs aside. you look at his desk to see his usually messy papers cleaned up to the side. he planned this probably . . . eren picks you up and places you on his desk. 
he places a hand on your chin, rubbing it gently. “open it baby,” he says as his kisses you again, but placing his tongue all over the inside of your mouth. his hands tug on the bottom of your shirt, signaling for it to be removed. in between each kiss, you both take off a piece of clothing until you up to your undergarments. eren slips his large hand under your breast, fondling with it while he leaves wet hickeys on your neck. with the other hand he unclasps the bra, throwing it the ground. he kisses you again, muttering “nice tits”.
you pull at the band of his underwear, “want you in me ren’.” you whine. “patience baby.” eren says sliding your panties off to the floor. 
“are you on any pills by any chance?”, he says rubbing ur slick all over your cunt. “m-mhm ren.’”
“good. so i don’t have to hold back.” 
eren slips his underwear off, revealing his long, veiny and girthy dick. you want to guess it’s around 6-7 inches, but it was gonna tear you up regardless. he strokes his dick, ‘lubing’ it up with his pre-cum. he inches closer to you, having his dick and your hole just one insert away from each other. you open your legs wider and lay down on his desk, giving him more access to yourself. “didn’t even have to ask.” eren said.
he teases the tip of his dick on your clit. your whole body tingles in response, arching your back off the cold desk. “please ren’…” you beg, desperately wanting his dick buried into you. “please fuck me eren.” 
“as you wish.” with that, eren aligns himself with your entrance, slowly pushing himself in. the both of you moan simultaneously from the pleasure you both felt. eren starts to push his hips back and forth into you, keeping a firm grip on your waist. eren keeps a nice pace, making sure to satisfy both sides. suddenly, eren lifts your legs, wrapping them around his waist. you jolted from the tingle he gave you. you were trying to conceal your moans, but every time it was getting louder than usual, eren made sure put his hand over your mouth.
eren’s pace starts to unstable, moving fast at times and then slowing down to grind himself on you. you can tell he was close to his climax, seeing how desperate and shaky thrusts were. 
“‘m so close baby. . .” he grunts. 
“‘ren please! mhm.” you whine, begging him to release. 
“at the same time? what a good girl..” he barely breathes out. 
eren picks you up by the waist to pull you closer to him. there wasn’t enough space between you too, but he didn’t care. eren grinds his dick into you, feeling his dick throb in your walls. then, you feel a warm liquid pour inside of you, while at the same time cry out from your orgasm. 
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wisehearts · 6 months
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the words 'insatiable little bunwill' are burned into my brain now
this has been my breaking point. the fact that its also EASTER? and that i have barely celebrated easter beyond a chocolate egg here or there for years but am now remembering the magic of easter time, spring flowers, new beginnings, little animals being born, sweetness and the promise of summer to come??? why has this headcanon got me feeling broody and cosy af lol
im obsessed. why is bunwill sooooo cute??? how does mike cope? fr
please give us more, and also maybe some wolf!mike x bunwill, oh my actual goddddd. can we have an actual easter story?? omg is there bunwill fic???????????? helppp
i need wolfmike details like
you dont understand
dont make me go over to twitter, pleaseeeeeee
AAA this has ME hopping around sksjs he's the cutest!!! you get it! Im so happy to hear this HAHA
You bring up a good point - canon mike already finds canon will cute - how the hell does any mike deal with an even more adorable version? he's just so smitten with bunwill, you know in s4 when mike says "you didn't have to" to will and he smiles and huffs a laugh at the same time? that's human!mike @ bunwill #real
there is one bunwill fic I know of that my hc's gave a lovely person enough brainrot to write 💪 it is in first person pov and isn't completed yet but it's called piece of (carrot) cake (maybe if they got more kudos and comments they'd be reminded of interest for more 👀). a lot of my bunwill is sadly on twt but I definitely plan to post some of those here as I go!
I would never make you go over there though 🫶 Hmm I'd say wolf!mike is the most primal of all the bunwill partners, so the most dominant in the bedroom when he's really feeling it. compared to say fox!mike who I see as kind of cheekier so he gets sexually overwhelmed easier and it's cute 😋 wolf!mike is just so so loyal, obviously a protector and loves resting a hand on will's waist.
I think wolf!mike manhandles bunwill more, he noses at his more sensitive spots and it gets bunwill squirming. he growls when he feels good and it turns bunwill on - mike feeling good because of will's body always does. bunwill's good at quickening the pace and wolf!mike's grip just tightens around him because he didn't expect to be hit with the extra pleasure
wolf!mike has the biggest knot that makes bunwill feel SO full and bred he whinessss, his ears twitch and shake like crazy and then he sighs contentedly 🥰
Oh and if I can swing back to canon byler for a second... I'm sure somewhere over the years into their relationship mike has curled a finger under will's chin, given it a little scratch and called him an "insatiable little bunny" too......
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mychlapci · 8 months
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I have a big brain that is smooooth, an obsession with Megatron being 100% breedable and mother material (i have a picture somewhere in my memories of WHY megatron is so breedable.) and im sorry for spamming your inbox out but I need to indulge myself in like 2000000 different things, i promise im sorry ;-;
Megaratch is the hill i am going to die on. Because now we need Ratchet sheepishly admitting to Optimus, who’s 100% ready to kill himself or the closest bot, that he was the crazy mech to spike Megatron multiple times.
Yeah Prowl definitely bluescreens, and doesnt re-online for a couple days because his stress-meter blew out the roof.
Meanwhile with the cons, everyone’s 100% sure its Optimus, despite how he swore it wasnt him. But that changes the moment Megatron pops out the next batch of babies, clearly used to birthing out lil bitties by now. And one of them comes out with. Sirens. TINY LITTLE SIRENS, rocking white and red plating, 100% ambulance sirens, their armour still a rubbery consistency , and red optics. And then everyone realises ‘oh god the autobot medic’
I will also die on the hill of that medics are perfect stud material, strong in multiple ways, sturdy and well built, He could pump Megatron full of transfluid for hours, not stopping until Megatron asks or he’s empty of transfluid.
Annd…who is Megatron to say No to an offer like that?
Okay but like. Hell breaks loose AGAIN in both factions, everyone’s confused as fuck because WHERE has Megatron gone, WHY the autobot medic, WHEN did they start fucking on the weekly and HOW have they gotten away with this?!
- Chase anon :3 , Thank you for feeding into everyones addictions, i’ll try not to go crazy on your inbox i promise <3
Megatron is breedable. He's powerful, strong, has the body and the hips for it, and a carrier capable of protecting his litter is a good carrier. Also 100% medics are perfect studs, which is probably why it all started. You have a perfect, capable carrier, and a very capable sire,  both of which really hate each other, but… the sex is fucking great, and the breeding drive just makes it so much better. And Megatron wants heirs. And Ratchet is just… living out some rage fantasies and blowing off steam. 
Ratchet probably gets away with it for a long time. However long it takes for Prowl to stop yelling at Optimus. Which is a long time, indeed. But then there's a lot of doubt circling through the autobot ranks, distrust in their leader, so he ends up having to admit that he ended up fucking Megatron. He has to say it in front of the whole high command too, just really rip off the bandaid and let everyone know that no, it wasn't Optimus who knocked up Megatron, it was him (and maybe Optimus is a little jealous…)
The proof is Megatron's next batch of bitties, which come out significantly more ambulance coloured. My bet is there were a few decepticons who had a bet on the autobot medic, but only a few, and they end up loaded for sticking to their guns even though everyone told them they're being stupid.
You think they share custody? You think one day Ratchet's just got a couple bitties in his arms the entire day. A couple big, fat, red-eyed bitties. Prowl probably suggests, not so subtly, that they should get rid of them, but that idea is immediately shushed by everyone with half a spark because…just look at them. The bitlets are, somehow, so cute. 
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mayhemlovesenvy · 5 months
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Testing scenes 🕯💜🤍 (and also me yapping (wayyy too much) under the cut) (you've been warned)
Fixing the arc camp has proven to be harder than I thought,,, it's really damn hard to write 5 parallel stories at the same time in comic(?) Format, bc in the series it's a bit of each group per chapter (except the funtimes part but fuck them)
My idea is to just. Finish each group story and tie them up in the end. Shape of you time and they sing so bad cami dies. But since I want to give them more to do I confuse myself,,,, and also owynn didn't exist so I have to stick him somewhere, and also eak and ttrap do smth else, and also Margo is a whole thing
And Im going crazy BUT IM ENJOYING THE CRAZY. It's like suffering with math but instead of numbers it's just text and I do it for fun bc crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me into a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. The rats drove me crazy.
So. What are you seeing in the drawings?? Those orange/red blobs are fire thingies, and the bighead kids are around them :3
- bonnie, freddy, ann, aiden (who would be looking away from the fire lol)
- Meg, joy, bon and spring (but they're not by the fire)
- The nightmares (+ toddy)
' And then probably the funtimes + pup and mai
Where golden? Well with his dad + other rich parents + jeffrey and he's looking sadly bc damn. He wants to be there :( or maybe be just really likes looking at fire and wants to be closer who knows
is jeffrey who lets her go with her friendos !!!¡! Hoorrray jeffrey. Also gives him the lighter
Then golden fucking dies
And jeffrey is on a date with vincent :)) bc he can and he wants and I want them to, too
And . And this is where i go crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once
Bc yes this is about golden BUT ALSO it IS jeffrey's big moment as fucking well. The fire both from the lighter and the candle representing literally how he's warming up to the idea of forming actual, meaningful relationships with people. He WORRIES so he starts to CARE which means he starts to DO .
HE STOPS BEING A BITCHHHH AND WE LOVE THAT FOR HIM AND IIIII AMMMM GOING CRAZY. oh also Golden in that time decides to escape once they get back home but that will be a s2 problem that def wont develop Golden's father and jeffrey a bit more and realize how fucked up they actually are (maybe). And def wont end with golden left as homeless and pathetic for the joke I PROMISE I DOOOOOOOO
Okay. So. Um. The fire represents the want to have relationships (any type). Golden longs for fire (a family) Jeffrey lights it for him (show that maybe he can give him one);
but Jeffrey is the one asking for a deeper relationship to Vincent represented throught a candle (and asking for/having a date), or smth like that. Needs more work. Maybe. What matters is that Jeffrey wants more *with* vin (not of, with) while vincent thinks he overstepped wayyy to much and is in this weird attempt to gain control over it by sabotaging himself. The fire IS THERE RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM BUT IT WILL DIE IF HE WAITS TOO LONG OR IF HE BLOWS IT .. AAAAAGHHHHHHHHH. The chance is there and he has to take it. And yes Golden takes the lighter aka golden acepts the chance while vin... lets it drip..lets the wax burn him, but he will run out of time
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chaosfantasmic · 10 months
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LINKS FANFIC INTRODUCTION IS HERE!!!😲😲😲😲😲👉*your gay*
well y'all polled it out, and here you. (Also if this is bad I'm sorry I'd pay for your therapy but I'm broke so🤷)
....
Oh of all times to get dumped into a new hyrule THIS was it? They had just been in the captains era and there were hoards of monsters as usual, what was up with that why the hell did he need so many? But point is, at the end of the fight wind had a VERY FUCKING BAD concussion, some bitchey bokoblin socked him the head, yknow but Hyrule would just give him a little red potion and he'd be alright the next morning. But NOOOOOO hylia had to be a fat fucking bitch and open a portal FROM UNDER THEM!? Ok that's inconvenient but at least they were all together, wrong, very shitting wrong, it just so happens that the very badly injured one (im talking about wind) did not come with them, so now they were in god knows what era, with no idea where wind is or weather or not he's still ALIVE, and worse of all it was NIGHTIME, so they couldn't go looking for him, which meant they were forced to set up camp while there injured brother was off somewhere in this place (cause god this hyrule was HUGE, like even wild agreed it was BIG), so yea, it wasn't looking to great.
.....
(WIND POV CHANGE WOOSH WOOSH TRANSITION TRANSITION😲🖕)
Where am I? Why is it....so..dark? Oh, it's nightime. What happened why-, oh yea, I remember now we were in wars hyrule fighting all the damn monsters there, and I got...hit..in the head with a bat..and I got a concussion and then a portal opened up and I'm here.
When the sailor sat upright his head immediately started throbbing like crazy, he clutched his head and groaned
"Annnd there's the concussion." Wind cursed
He grumbled, did he really have to get dropped all alone in the woods of god knows where at night, with a concussion might he add.
The forest was pitch black, either that or he was starting to hallucinate, the only sound was the hum of the crickets and the calm flow of a nearby river
But wind was anything but calm. His head was bleeding like a river and orange and purple spots started to cloud his vision.
Should he at least try to stand up? No no that's not a good idea, he could barley lift up his arm without nearly being exhausted.
"ok calm down wind, calm down, your brothers are here...somewhere, they'll Probobly find you....eventually...maybe....hopefully."
"They're not coming."
And that was when wind realised just how shitty his current situation was.
He could very well die if he didn't do something, which you really can't when your on the verge of passing out. Was he really going to die, no no he couldn't die, what about granny and aryll and the rest of his brothers, what would they think?
The sailor knew that there wasn't much time left before he lost consciousness, so he did the last thing he could think of, with the last of his strength, he shakily mouthed out
"Help."
....
(HEY! TRANSITION!, POV SWITCH BITCHES RAAAAA)
Well help did come
Out of the corner of Winds eye, he saw a small figure, standing amongst the trees, holding a....racoon? Ok he was definitely hallucinating now.
"Ok buddy, It looks like I have some business to attend to, you promise to visit me tomorrow ya?" The mysterious person spoke as they let the racoon jump out of there hands, letting it run off into the woods.
Wind couldn't make out there face, it was covered by a thick green hood.
The person walked up and crouched down beside him, eyeing his head, they grimaced
"Eesh, what creature did this to you?" They said
They shuffled around in there pocket before pulling out a wad of bandages and a thick rag, they set the rag on the spot where winds head was bleeding
"There that should soak up most of the blood-ICK! Gee when did i last wash this thing?"
The rest was a blur to wind, his vision had started to fail him, his ears started ringing, and everything was blurry. All he remembered was a bandage over his head, and the warm orange glow of a fire
"Don't worry, your ok." The person said softly as he drifted off into unconsciousnes
....
Heeeey you finished it, oh Majesty has something to tell you!
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nymusings · 7 months
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thank you so much for such a comprehensive ask! i feel like ik a lot more little details about the city now that i wouldn’t have known otherwise — tysm<33
but if it’s not a bother, i just wanted to ask — what do you mean by this bit? “There's a lot going on politically within the uni at the moment, with gender liberation (especially trans rights, which sucks for me as a trans person)” i… am also trans, but i’ve not transitioned or come out (my family is quite transphobic, and my city doesn’t have the resources for trans stuff as far as im aware), so i was hoping to come out and transition after i move out and go to uni. but from what you say here, it sounds like if i do end up being accepted here, it might be safer to stay in the closet? i’m so sorry to ask this — i know it’s not a fun thing to talk abt. i’m just a bit stressed— since i do know people who live in the city and are doing well, but none of them r trans unfortunately.
also— i’m sorry, i promise i’m not trying to just dredge up the negatives😭😭 but ahhvwnegdjd there’s a housing crisis / cost of living crisis / overcrowded classes and courses / timetabling issues / assessment feedback issues?? i know, sadly, that none of this is unique just to Edinburgh, but i didn’t actually realise the city and uni were having all of these problems specifically. i’m sorry if this is a stupid question, but instead of asking you a whole lot, i guess i’d just love to know— is it… bad? as in, in your experience, worse than other unis have it?/if you could go somewhere else would you, that kinda thing. The timetabling issues sound crazy (6hrs of classes?!!) but i feel like i could deal w/ that, but oof, assessment feedback stuff? what’s your experiences w/ that been like, if any? i’m just not from a place where they really prepare us for uni (well, they do, just — my country’s school system and unis work very differently to those in the uk), so i feel like w/out feedback i might end up falling behind lol.
also!! yep, i did mean eng lit, not english languag — thank you SO much for so much of detail on all of that! it cleared up so many questions i didn’t realise i had. like seriously, your ask was so sweet and comprehensive, of course definitely no pressure to answer whatever is going on in this one😭😭
hi again!!! so sorry for answering so late, im only on tumblr every now and then at the minute.
about the trans stuff, I was in the exact same situation as you. I had the same idea with transitioning once I moved to uni and honestly, there will be pros and cons with doing that no matter where you go. At UoE specifically, there has been a lot of controversy surrounding multiple attempted screenings of Adult Human Female with it recently being found that the uni actually paid for an external security company to make sure the event went forward. Recently a trans-exclusionary LGB activist managed to secure a major role within the university. The Trans and Nonbinary Officer did step down in protest of both of these events, and the position is still unfortunately vacant.
HOWEVER there are a lot of positives to being out as trans (even if its just to your friends) at the university, such as:
The Gender Liberation Society which meet every Monday in Appleton Tower
The Gender Empowerment Fund which allows you access to packers/binders/wigs/any trans apparel you might need (with a limit of £150)
You can change your name on the University of Edinburgh system on your own (via EUCLID) so that your real/preferred name is the one on class registers, instead of your birth/dead name
Lots of tutors will as everyone to specify their pronouns at the first meeting, so you'll never feel targeted
There's trans flags spray painted on walls all across old town LMAO
GET A GP AS SOON AS YOU MOVE HERE! The waiting list for the gender identity clinic REQUIRES a GP referral and the wait list is only <2 years long!
(in comparison, Glasgow's is >5 years!)
All in all, the issues with trans stuff has to do more with the admin of the university rather than the people who actually matter to you. You'll find the admin of the uni suck the most more than anyone else at everything. Most of the normal people at the university are very understanding and polite about you being trans (one of my friends actually forgot I was trans once, straight up just thought I was a guy which was very flattering lmao).
In my opinion, it is very worth it coming out. There are people who have your back.
About all of the other stuff, though the University are at fault for not doing enough to help, often everyone affected works together to make it as easy a life as possible. If you are struggling with timetabling, or how full your classes are, or if the amount of assessments you have are driving you up the wall, there is always someone you can contact. In order of who you should contact first:
Your Student Advisor: they can help point you in the right direction and provide notes that can be used at the end of the year to apply for Special Circumstances (if, say, mental health or financial issues, etc, got in the way of your studies)
The Listening Service at the Chaplaincy
The Advice Place
Student Counselling service
Wellbeing officer
and im sure there are more but I've not had to go past this step
About housing-- it is a country-wide issue, but very apparent in the bigger cities like Glasgow and Edinburgh. Even some of my family in London have shared the same sentiment ("If an agency offers you a flat, just take it. It doesn't matter if it doesn't suit our needs, we can't afford to be picky.") Students at UoE have protested the University's lack of involvement in ensuring that students will not go homeless ESPECIALLY since they are taking on a significantly higher amount of students (especially international). There is really nothing that can be done about this, BUT I have heard of undergrads making friends with 4th years and taking over their flat at the end of the year when the 4th years graduate. That's always an option. Again, there is also the Co-op, but it is very competitive.
If we are to compare UoE to other universities, by far and large it is still better academically than most. The reputation is phenomenal and people will wow you whenever you tell them where you study. Being from Glasgow, it was a competition between the two of those Uni's for me, and I do feel like I made the right choice coming to Edinburgh despite all of its flaws. Remember, the university isn't your entire life -- the city can be part of it, too. It really just depends what you're looking for from both the university and life outside of it. I don't think I would have gone anywhere else (unless I could afford Oxbridge lmao). I don't want it to sound like I hate the uni, sure, it is frustrating, but I just want to be as open and honest with you about it as possible so that you truly know what you are getting into.
If you want any actually decent feedback, schedule office hours with your tutor/lecturer and talk with them about it there. The written stuff tends not to help me at all, I need to be verbally told what went wrong and how to improve. The written feedback tends to be more harsh than helpful, and doesn't help me understand where I lost marks.
Scotland's university system is also different to the rest of the UK (yay devolved government), meaning you will do 4 years of a degree instead of 3, and a bunch of other stuff that isn't coming to mind rn lol. School's don't prep us for uni that much either, except for if you do Advanced Highers (which I did for Eng Lit). They are technically the equivalent to first year of university (which I agree with).
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bookloover35 · 1 year
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Roman Staionis x fem reader-Im not a toy part 1.
YNS POV:
Roman Staionis aka The black mask but also known as one of the most famous psychopaths in all of Gotham. But to me he's Romy or my husband and yes I know what you're thinking. You must be crazy because you are married to him, or you were forced to marry him, he threatened you to marry him. And the answer to all your questions is no I was not forced I love him and he loves me.
I am his queen and he is my king.
But the answer to the question if I'm crazy then I can honestly say yes I'm crazy, I'm not a saint I'm Yn fricking Quinn.
If you have not listed my last name, I have a question for you where you have been somewhere. I'm the sister of Harley Quinn herself. Harley and I are very similar but still very different she has blonde hair while I have red hair.
And she stole and kidnapped while I work as an assassin.
I actually met him through my job when I got a job killing a man who used to work at Roman's club, but that story is for another time.
Back to the story.
Yn: Fuck you Roman
I told him while we were sitting and had a meeting with Salvatore Maroni himself and some other members of his gang a lot of pigs if you ask me. They clearly know who I am throughout Gotham know that I am his wife, but I am best known throughout Gotham precisely because of my profession.
But every time they have put their feet inside this club, they have never shown me any respect at all and they have always checked on me one and the same thing that I am just Roman's toy.
Every time they have said that, Rome has never been around. And every time I have tried to do something against them, I have always been stopped by Zas.
I have told Roman about what Salvatore Maroni and his gang have called me and he told me that the next time they say it again he would make them regret it.
But did he do something about it no he did not he just sat there and kept quiet and he says he should be Roman Staionis himself aka the world's most dangerous psychopath HA what a joke.
My thoughts were interrupted by my sister Harley putting her arms around me and telling me.
Harley: You look like you'll kill someone if they say a single word wrong to you.
Come on, tell your sister now.
Yn: It's Roman I told him about what Maroni and his gang call me and he told me that the next time they told me he would do something and he did absolutely nothing.
And I do not need a man to defend me, but still he is my husband.
Harley: Yes I understand you you're his wife and not his toy and you really do not need a man to defend you you are Yn fricking Quinn my sister and all the villains in Gotham know who you are.
I was about to answer her but was interrupted when I heard Roman shouting my name.
Roman: YN!!!!!!!
Yn: UGH what does he want me now, Harley we continue to talk to you later okay love you.
Harley: Okay we'll talk later love you to.
Right after we said those words to each other, I started walking towards Roman's office. I could hear him calling my name and he wanted me to stay, but I refused, I just kept going.
When I got to the door, I opened it and went in and slammed the door shut with a loud bang and then I went to the office table and slammed my hands down on the table.
Roman: How dare you humiliate me like that.
Yn: Fuck you Roman.
You say you love me but I'm really starting to wonder if you really love me.
Roman: What are you talking about, you know I love you.
Yn: Do you really do what you said to me now again. I promise you darling if they say anything to you I'll do something about it.
I said to him and went up to him and put my finger on his chest.
Yn: But do you know what you did instead you did absolutely nothing. I'm not your toy I'm your wife. Not a TOY.
Roman: I know I should have said something and in fact after you left I scolded them. And you are not a toy you are my wife and my greatest love.
He said to me, I went to the table and stood in front of it, where I suddenly came up with an idea a very insidious idea. I'll show him, I'll make him ask me to forgive him. I turned to him and said.
Yn: I do not believe you.
Roman: Please darling you must believe me and please forgive me.
He said to me and stood in front of me now we'll see if my plan will work.
Yn: Prove it.
Roman: How ?
Here we go!!!!
Yn: I want you to get down on your knees and eat me out until I come later if you do a good job I'll let you come.
Roman: Excuse me???
Yn: You heard me.
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puppyparkmoving · 1 year
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Safeship FAQ for clarifications! 💛
• Is safeship not exclusively for survivors / can I post in the tag and be part of the community if I'm not a survivor?
YES! I dont have a big explanation for this just that the base reason the tag was made was so there was a safe and stress free tag for survivors to be garunteed security in browsing and engaging! If youre not a survivor youre not just welcome here but a blessing becuz it gives more content and community and positivity to survivors and youre just as beloved in the community.
• Are minors allowed in the tag?
Yeah absolutely of course I have ZERO qualms with minors having safety in selfshipping and encourage them to use it and be apart of the community! I obviouslt get this questuon becuz I personally dont interact with minors and vice versa cuz I'm almost thirty. But the tag and community and concept is not about me or attached to me really. Its for everyone!
• If someone has abusive or bigoted beliefs or content are they allowed in the tag?
NOPE! And this is also not about me or my dni its because survivors are often multiply minorities and bigotry especially racism and ableism is repugnant and exactly the same negativity as proshidders sooooooo. This includes pro life bullshit becuz many survivors would not even be alive without their rights to choice and that cannot be ignored in this community.
• What if someone ships abusively to cope? (I.e. yandere shit or anything illegal and disgusting)
Thats still not welcome here. I'm not here to tell people what to do on their mental health journey, but neither is anyone else and the healthiest and most sincere option is to keep abusive content out of the tag period.
• Is nsfw allowed in the tag?
Yea you can go nuts idc just tag it so ppl who have nsfw/nsft blocked dont have to see it. Otherwise have fun.
• Something something is the discord ready yet?
Not quite! Im in the process of moving which will free up my focus and life to be able to do that soon. I promise ill announce when it is. But also know my safeship server doesnt have to be the real and only server. Ive had ppl ask if they can make one and the answer is always yes! The concept of safety and community does not belong to me and while id love to have many ppl in mine when i make it ppl dont have to be around me or interact with me to be part of it! Curate your experiences u deserve it!
• Have you seen insert bad person or content in tag?
Probably not! As I said ive been moving so ive been checking the tag sporadically and not as much as I want or you all deserve. I rlly appreciate these asks and bringing stuff to my attention. You dont have to worry abt me posting the asks so it wont look like a callout or anything crazy like that. Ill just discard the ask and post a warning to the @safeshippin blog. Ill be more vigilent when im moved somewhere safe.
• No further questions
I love you have a good one feel free to ask me anything else esp to do with worries or wonders abt the tag/community. Take care of yourself.
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Part 4 Rewrite Concepts
Ok I've officially decided in my head that I'm going to at least plan out a part 4 rewrite, which is why now im going to give u all an extremely messy and poorly organized list of ideas I have just to like..help myself think them through more!
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Ok so I'm having trouble deciding how I want to start the story off. Mainly because I don't want to include the Anjelo arc. I've always thought of part 4 being messily divided into 3 parts (Anjelo, Akira, Kira), which is something I know I want to change and have the whole plot just focus on Kira. I was thinking maybe just have it start in a slice of life style like some of the filler eps but the main problem is that I need to figure out what exactly sparks the whole 'we need to catch the killer' thing. Maybe Josuke and Koichi find Reimi instead of Koichi and Rohan? Idk!
And yknow mentioning Akira, I think this is the hardest arc to write out of the story. I don't want to include it very much, but it was really important for Okuyasu's character arc imo. I also just need to reread part 4 i literally own all of the p4 manga why haven't I done that yet..
I'm thinking of changing stuff w Reimi. I kind of want to make her be born a bit later, therefore killed later. Mainly so that she could be connected to Josukes past and this would better set up the framing of Jotaro that I want, as it would make him 17~ when Kira first kills her (I’d also make kira 5 yrs younger ofc)
For josukes past I’m still a little iffy. I think I might have Reimi just be there w the boy to help pull Tomokos car out of the pothole but idk. Is that cheesy? Just bc I still want Josuke to have his hair and everything..
I want to give Keicho Surface. Ik he alr has a stand, and I love Bad Company, but I wanna make Surface plot relevant and give it to someone who I also want to be plot relevant soo..yeah. In my rewrite I imagine Keicho teams up w Kira bc Kira promises to find a way to kill Keicho’s father.
Also yeah I want to have Jotaro be framed for all of the murders bc again that’s fun idk. And this way there can be a subplot abt clearing his name. Also I want to add holly and possibly baby Jolyne (is that too self indulgent?)
I’m still going to keep the plot w Cinderella (as in kira changing his face) bc I love hayato and shinobu. Plus that whole arc is when we got into p4 being rlly good
For yukako I’m thinking of making her josukes cousin, mainly so that they can have a pre established relationship since yukako probably isn’t getting her stand in this (bc she got it from the arrow right? I don’t want to include that arc. It drove me crazy how everyone kept getting a stand)
I’m thinking Joseph gets introduced after Jotaro is arrested and Jotaro is all like “u need ur dad to help solve this!!”
I wanna focus on the conflicts between Josuke and Joseph. I especially think this could be fun bc ryohei would still be alive, so it’s like a case of “u might be my biological dad, but my REAL dad is right here.”
I also want to let Tomoko actually do something but I haven’t decided what yet.
I’m keeping mikitaka in somehow bc believe it or not I do enjoy fun and whimsy
I’m probably cutting out Rohan entirely tho. He was honestly a good antagonist and I love his stand so I might use that somewhere but I just can’t stand him. (lmfao stand)
Also like at the end of the day this is my au and I do what I want!!
I think I might make one of yukakos parents be a police officer. Bc 1. whether I make her and Josuke related or not, they’re still connected by their relatives on the force and 2. I feel like this could possibly help set her up to help in the kira investigation? Like maybe she’s planning to become a cop or detective in the future so she alr has some skills. Or maybe she could help find files or something. No matter what, I want her to get to actually help w the plot instead of just kidnapping koichi then being sidelined like in canon
For okuyasu I’m thinking his arc is going to be changed a wee bit. Like his brother works w kira, but he befriends Josuke and realizes that what his brothers doing is wrong and like..learns to stand up for the right thing regardless of what his brother says. And a bump in this road could be keichos death. Like imagine ur finally branching off from ur brother and then he DIES? I’d be crawling back to his grave too lmfao
I’m going to work on stand profiles and giving them actual limits and rules. Bc a LOT of them just don’t have that.
I think some stands I’ll still include just bc I like them. Like highway star (even tho that arc was so boring the stand is cool).
Also I still want to focus on the affects of Dio for part of it. I think I might mainly do this w Jotaro and his ptsd tho..
Overall I’m excited and I hope I can flesh this out more !!!
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emerald-notes · 2 years
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Star-Crossed
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Fandom: BTS Pairing: Human!Seokjin x Mermaid!Reader Genre: Fantasy/Fluff/Angst Warning: Disturbing dream, mc questioning his sanity, mention of killing, death, mention of clash between humans and mer-people, light teasing and bullying, some angsty moments, some dumb moments (sorry people), slight smut, kissing, mc dying, heartbreak. Word Count: 5.5k Words Note: A reincarnation love story between a mermaid and a ship captain. It is a dual POV story; one for Seokjin and the other for the reader. The story contains two different timelines; the 18th century and the present. The parts in italics indicates the past timeline.
Summary: The dream is repeating for many times for it to be called just a dream. Seokjin wants to find the answer while you wait patiently for him to come back to you as he had once promised...
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Jin’s POV:
I assumed her to be an ordinary girl the first time she appeared in my dream. I was only a teenager at the time. It had been seven years since then. I was experiencing the same dream on repeat. Now, I knew that she was no ordinary girl but a mermaid.
It might sound ridiculous that an adult was dreaming an unhealthy amount of time about a mythological creature. I used to get mad at myself too. There were even times I thought I had gone crazy. I even had a theory that my obsession with the sea and fishing could have something to do with it.
But after years, I had come to a specific conclusion. It was not just a dream. I believed it to be a vision. A vision that was supposed to lead me somewhere. But where to, I didn’t know.
The content of the dream was always the same. She would ask me the same two questions every time. “How long should I wait for you? When will you come back to me?” And the dream would always end up with her calling my name, “Jin!”
I would wake up frustrated even if it was the same dream I’ve been having for the past seven years. I wanted to change something, anything, from it desperately. I would readily sell my soul to the devil to get an idea of her true identity or the whole purpose of this dream.
Surprisingly, I had never talked about it to anyone. I had planned to visit a psychiatrist once. But the idea of me telling them that I believed in her existence sounded too absurd to be told. They would immediately diagnose me as insane. Maybe, they were right to do so.
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night. It took me some minutes before I could make out my surrounding properly. I was on my ship, which was on her way back home. It had been a long week of us fishing on the west and the results were quite satisfactory.
I wasn’t really happy about getting back to the land. I was a man born to be on the sea. I could call it my one true home. I could relax and be surrounded by my own thoughts whenever I was on the sea. Whereas the only thought that occurred to me on the land was when we were going back to sail again.
But the comfort of the sea came along with a price. I couldn’t deny it even if I wanted to. The sea had brought this dream to me, whatever the reason behind it was.
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Reader’s POV:
I knew, he would find his way to me one day. He told me that himself. He would have never lied to me. I knew, he was a man of his words. He would most definitely come back. Until then, I could wait.
Waiting was not very hard for me. It was probably the simplest task I had ever been given. It literally meant to not do anything. I was glad that I was not asked to do something much more complicated that humans do in their everyday life. Like; cooking or knitting.
So, I had been waiting for a long time. 300 years could be called a long time for humans, I suppose. Because, being an immortal didn’t allow me to have a good sense of time.
Yes! Mer-people were immortals. It didn’t necessarily meant that we could never die. It only meant we could not die by natural causes. Of course, murder could be a way of killing mer-people. And it had been done too.
But being an immortal had also given me an opportunity to be reunited with my lover who had been death for more than 300 years. Even though I missed him more and more with all the passing moments, I was a patient being by nature.
The mer-people community had decided to migrate from the sea of the ‘Mariachi Island’ to the deep water of the Pacific so that the humans could no longer interfere in their lives. I was the only one who had stayed behind.
I had to. Or else, how would my Jin find me when he would be reborn?
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Jin’s POV:
“This is interesting!” Yoongi said eyeing the newspaper on the table while sipping on his coffee. “Hyung, you should see this.”
Yoongi was an old friend. We used to go fishing together when we were younger. Yoongi never had any passion for the sea. The only reason he would accompany me was because it made me happy. He never said it out loud obviously.
Somehow he ended up being on the crew of the ship I was the captain to and our journey of the sea had continued. But it was not an unknown fact that Yoongi liked it better on the land whenever we were on a break.
“What is it?” I asked him suspiciously.
“A mermaid had been spotted.”
My eyes grew larger at the mention of it. Yoongi noticed that at once and laughed, “Chill! It’s just a rumor. They print stuffs like this every now and then.”
“What do you mean every now and then?” I snatched the newspaper from the table to read the article myself.
“Mariachi Island, it is. Nothing interesting goes in there. So, they had made up this tale of a mermaid living near it.” Yoongi informed.
I checked the location carefully and put the newspaper down, “Shouldn’t we go there to check it ourselves before judging?”
It was Yoongi’s time to grow his eyes larger. “Hyung, it’s just a stupid conspiracy theory.”
“Be it, then. We’re on a break anyway. Spending the time at a resort in the famous ‘Mariachi Island’ doesn’t sound too bad, does it?”
Yoongi shook his head fervently. I knew, it would take a lot of time before I could convince him to go with me. But I was still confident of doing so.
I couldn’t let this news slip away so easily. It seemed like a once in a lifetime opportunity. It could be a stupid story. But it could also be not. Who knows? I might get closer to my answer to the unknown question.
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Reader’s POV: (The Past)
There was a secret cave at the end of the ‘Mariachi Island’ near an abandoned forest. The forest was said to be haunted by spirits. So, people usually avoided going there. Jin had fixed that cave to be our meeting place. So that nobody could find out about us. Every day during the sunset, Jin would come to meet me away from both the humans and the mer-people.
Since the beginning of time, humans never got along with the mer-people at all. Humans were considered to be our enemies. And the pirates were worst of them all. But Jin and I had managed to found a kind of love in each other despite being a pirate and a mermaid. And that was enough for us to disobey all the made up rules to be together.
But there were times when Jin would have to go away to the unknown sea with his beloved ship and her crew. I wasn’t allowed to travel with them. Jin told me that he had many enemies who would not think twice before hurting me for their benefit.
I still came to the cave and wait patiently for Jin every sunset. Today, I had been sitting on the sand for a long time. It made me dizzy and I didn’t notice when I had fallen asleep.
I woke up suddenly by someone’s touch. It was Jin. He was running his hand through my hair. He smiled as soon as I opened my eyes and I sat up, smiling myself.
“Oh, Jin! You’ve come back. I missed you.”
Jin sighed, “The same old words. Can’t you say anything different?”
“But I really miss you when you’re away.” I tried to prove my sincerity.
“Don’t get too used to me. I can’t be with you forever.”
I frowned at his words, “Are you going to leave me for good?”
“No, jagi!” Jin shook his head, “But I’m not an immortal.” I couldn’t digest the bitter truth that I have known since the first day I met him. Then, Jin added, “Anyway, I’m back now. Stop being over dramatic, you pathetic fish.”
Jin took out something from the pouch attached to his waist. It was a line of pearls attached by a string together and it looked beautiful.
“What is it?” I asked eagerly.
“I made it for you.” Jin said, “It’s a gift.”
I was surprised by the word. I had never been gifted before. Among mer-people, only the king was allowed to gift the most precious thing to his queen at the day of their wedding. It was a tradition we all followed.
“What happened?” Jin frowned, “Didn’t you like it?”
“I like it very much. But I don’t know what to do with it?”
Jin chuckled, “You wear it, silly.” He proceeded to go sit behind me. The pearls were sat around my neck.
He came back to face me again, “It’s called a necklace, jagi. People wear them to look beautiful. Since you’re uglier than a pig, this will make you look a little more bearable!”
Then, he started to laugh. The sound that it produced was very interesting to hear. It never failed to bring a smile to my face.
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Jin’s POV:
We reached the island two days ago. Yoongi was sleeping in his room while I sneaked out of the hotel to enjoy the dawn. I was too excited to get a proper sleep these past nights. I hadn’t found anything unusual so far other than the fact that my dream had returned. It was the first time of me experiencing it on land. Perhaps it was because the island was a part of the sea.
The cold air of the dawn was not comfortable. But I was too tired to go back to the hotel and grab my hoodie. Instead I kept standing still on my boat which was rocking to and fro by the waves.
“Jin!” someone called me from behind.
I froze. I knew this voice well. I heard it calling my name thousands of times before. But I still found it hard to believe. “Was I hallucinating due to lack of sleep?” I thought to myself.
“Jin!” It had to be her. There was no way I could be mistaken twice. I slowly turned around with an unknown fear in my heart.
It was indeed her. I was relieved to have found her finally. But the greatest was the relief of knowing that she was real. And I was not crazy to have believed in her existence.
The mermaid was floating. Her waist met the water from where the tail had started to be visible. She had long and thick hair that covered her upper body. It covered not just her bare chest and the back but also most of her face. I still knew that it was her.
“It’s you, isn’t it?” I said walking toward the railing of my ship to get a closer view, “I’m not dreaming.”
She nodded frantically as if she was excited to meet me as well. A part of me was telling me to be afraid of the new discovery I had just made. But another part of me was always aware of the fact that we were destined to meet someday. Surprisingly, I let the latter get the hold of me.
“Do you know me?” I asked.
As much as I could make out from her hair covered face, I could tell she was frowning at my question. So I asked further, “How do you know my name?”
She didn’t say anything. Rather she was backing away as if she was suddenly scared by me. I tried to convince her that I was harmless.
“No!” I said, “Don’t go away. I won’t hurt you. I have been looking for you for a long time. I believe there is a connection between us. And I’m willing to figure it out. Please help me. I promise, you can trust me.”
She kept looking at me with the same frustrated look on her face but didn’t utter a word. I wondered what else I could say to make her comfortable around me. I decided that the dream can wait. I should rather start by making a small talk.
“Um… My name’s Jin, you know!” I said to which she nodded with enthusiasm once again. I was encouraged to make another move. So, I asked her, “What’s your name?”
“We don’t have names.” She replied. I noticed that her voice was low but it was also beautiful.
“Oh, is it so?” I continued, “then, what should I call you?”
“Jagi!” She said without even thinking, “You always call me jagi.”
“Um… Can I call you something else?” I said, not sure if I could call a stranger by such an intimate term.
To my surprise, she shook her head with even more emphasis.
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Reader’s POV:
My long waiting had come an end. Jin had finally found me. For some reason, I wasn’t as happy as I thought I would be. In fact I was miserable. Meeting Jin for the first time made me realize that the waiting was more beautiful than the meeting itself.
I tried to reason with my own mind. Why was I feeling this way? Wasn’t meeting Jin the only thing that I longed for all these years? Hadn’t I been dreaming about finally being reunited with my lover?
Maybe, the reason behind my disappointment was that I had never gave a thought about how the Jin I was going to meet would not be the exact Jin I used to know. He was the reincarnation of my past lover. That didn’t mean he would be reborn with all of his past memories or feelings.
The new Jin didn’t know me. He didn’t remember the moments we shared. He didn’t know just how much I loved him and how much more he had loved me back.
And that realization was painful to accept. What could I do now? I couldn’t just give up on him completely. Jin was my life. He was the reason I kept going forward. If I had never met him in the first place, things might have been different. I would have been satisfied by living like an ordinary mermaid.
But that wasn’t the case. I had met Jin and he had made me realize a lot of things I was unaware about before. He had showed me what love really was. Even if he didn’t mean it to happen, I grew used to him. Too much that I couldn’t accept his death and had been waiting for him ever since.
Now, my waiting was over. Jin had finally found me. Even if my own feelings were hurting me, I still decided to take a chance with the new Jin and see where it would lead me to. After all, I had no one else other than him.
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Jin’s POV:
The mermaid was too impatient to stay. I practically begged her to meet me again so that I could finally talk to her about my dream. Hesitantly, she told me about an abandoned forest at the end of which was a cave. And I was to meet her there during sunset.
I didn’t have any trouble finding the place she had mentioned. I was glad that she had kept her promise. She was already on the surface busking in the sun when I reached there. For the first time, I got a complete view of the mermaid I had been dreaming obscurely about these past years.
And just like that, I kept meeting her every day. It became a routine. We would talk for some minutes, the sun would set and she would dive back to the water.
I couldn’t describe exactly what we talked about. It was mostly nonsense. Because I knew, it wasn’t time to raise the most obvious questions. At first, she was hesitating to be around me. I could tell that by her body language. By the time, she was comfortable enough to ask me random questions you would mostly hear a toddler ask.
I noticed that slowly she was growing very fond of me. She started to act quite happy and wouldn’t want to leave even when the sun was down. Honestly, I started to like her too. She was probably the only person I could talk to for hours and still couldn’t have enough.
But I didn’t forget about my dream. It was true that the dream had stopped ever since I met her in real. I was still curious to know how exactly we were connected. And I knew for sure, she had clues about it.
I approached her about the topic very carefully. Once I asked her how she had known my name without my telling her. She didn’t respond and went silent for a while. It wasn’t the only question she was avoiding. There were other things I asked her about to which she either stayed silent to or changed the topic immediately.
For instance, I asked her about the other mermaids and she told me that they had all gone to the pacific to hide from the humans. When I asked what she was doing here all alone, she was frustrated and mumbled something inaudible.
When I asked about the pearl jewelry she always wore around her neck, she avoided that topic as well. She even refused to tell me why she was trusting me so much whereas she was really afraid of the other humans.
I believed all these things had something to do with me. And she was keeping some real secrets. And she was doing it on purpose.
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Reader’s POV:
It was the little things that he did. It reminded me of my Jin. The Jin I was familiar with. The Jin I had loved.
The new Jin had the same kind of way of talking. I didn’t really understand how people talked in different ways. But I could certainly understand the way my Jin used to talk. Jin would say things which should usually hurt but they never did actually hurt. Jin used to say that was his sense of humor and I was too dumb to understand that. But he didn’t know that I did understand.
The new Jin laughed just like my Jin too. His laugh would make that very interesting kind of sound which made me laugh along with him.
The new Jin would talk a lot about the sea. Even if he wasn’t a pirate like my Jin, I learned that he also owned a ship of his own. His love for the sea, my own home, always fascinated me.
The new Jin would actually care about me even if he never said it out loud. He thought that I didn’t notice him struggling to ask me about things he was dying to know. But actually, I did.
I knew, the new Jin was confused about some things. He wanted to know the answers. The answers only I could offer him. But I was scared.
“Is it too early to trust him?” I had been asking myself every day. But I had been wrong about him too. He was in a different body in a different time period. But there was no denying that he was indeed my Jin. And he deserved to know the truth.
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Jin’s POV:
“I’ll tell you everything you want to know.” The mermaid suddenly said one day.
“Umm… Okay!” I said, now very nervous to know it all.
“The truth is I knew you from a long time ago.” She said flatly. “You are reincarnated.”
“What?” I said. Among all the wild theories I had, this one was, perhaps, the wildest. “Reincarnation?” I thought, “Is that even a real thing?”
She remained silent again, giving me the time to process the information she had just thrown at my face. Looking at her serious face, I knew that she wasn’t lying.
“It’s not a big deal, right?” I tried to convince myself, “If mermaids could be real, so could be reincarnation.” But the idea of me living a complete different life before and in which this mermaid was a part of, sounded too much to take in.
“Did I die?” as soon as I asked that, I knew it was the dumbest thing I could have possibly asked in this situation. Well, my head wasn’t really working properly.
But she wasn’t the kind to judge. She simply nodded her head and said, “You promised you’d come back for me. That’s why, I have been waiting for you.”
She was speaking as if it was actually me. I wanted to correct her by saying that it wasn’t really me but my past self. But then I remembered how her eyes were twinkling with happiness and hope the first time she saw me. The next moment, it transformed into despair as soon as I showed no sign of recognition.
I didn’t want to ruin her new found hope once again. So, I smiled at her instead and said, “And I did, jagi. I came back just for you.” She smiled back.
We sat across the surface and were facing each other, with genuine smiles on both of our faces. After a while, I shivered as a sudden cold air blew past us.
“What happened?” she asked.
“It’s cold.” I said while rubbing my hands together to produce some heat.
She gently took my hands in hers and hold it. It had the kind of warmth that could melt my whole freezing body right at the spot. I realized that I wasn’t regretting coming here at the island at all.
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Reader’s POV: (The Past)
He came to sit closer to me. His hand reached for the hair on my face, softly touching it first, then he tucked it behind my ear. I could feel the heat rising on my face at his sudden touch.
He leaned on slowly and carefully. I was a little confused by his actions. Before I could say anything, his soft lips were already upon mine. His hands grabbed my head from behind to pull me closer so that our lips smashed onto each other’s with more friction. He opened his mouth, letting my lower lip slide inside while his tongue did crazy things inside mine.
The hands those were tangled up on my hair all this time were let loose. He made it run through my back before it made it’s way to the front, pushing my thick and long hair to the back. For the first time in my life, I felt the cold air of the surface touch my bare chest.
His mouth travelled further onto the side of my face, rubbing his lips on my cheek and mumbling sweet nothings on my ear. Then, it went slowly down through my neck to my chest.
The more his lips were touching my skin the more I wanted him to do so. I felt something very foreign inside me going on. But I didn’t complain. Whatever it was that he was doing to me, I was loving it. Maybe this was how humans treated others they loved.
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Jin’s POV:
The sun was already going down. As I looked at my companion, I suddenly felt an urge to see her face clearly without her hair’s interruption. “Could you please move your hair out of the way so that I can see you properly?”
She was startled by my sudden request but immediately nodded. Then, she proceeded to move all of her hair covering her body instead.
“No, no, no!” I yelled, making her jump out of fright. “I’m so sorry!” I apologized. I tucked the hair out of her face behind her ear myself and said, “I only meant to see your face, that’s all.”
She looked down for a while and remained silent as if she had been thinking about something. Looking at me, she made an unusual request, “Can you do those things people do to show they love each other?”
I was taken aback. What could she possibly mean by that?
“Umm… Sure!” I said, “What do you want me to do?”
She simply shrugged as if to say that I was the one who should have known that. I thought for a while. Perhaps, she was asking me to caress her hair to show affection.
As I was about to touch her head, she moved away slightly and said, “Let’s do it in my place this time. You can swim, can’t you?”
She jumped into the water as soon as I nodded in affirmation. I was dumbfounded. Not sure what I should be doing, I took a deep breath before following her to the water as well. Thankfully the water was warm. But it was darker inside. It took some times for my eyes to get adjusted to the surrounding. And then, I saw her.
She looked ten times more beautiful than she ever did on the surface. Even though it were comparatively darker inside the water, I could still make out her smiling face in front of me.
The next thing that caught my attention was her hair. They were floating above her head. It almost looked like a fancy crown.
“Wait a minute! Does that mean…” my thoughts trailed away as my eyes travelled down to her bare chest. I would have said that the sight took my breath away. But I was somehow still able to hold it.
She swam towards me, closing the distance between us. Her smiling lips parted a little before it came crushing down onto mine. She was kissing me. But what surprised me more was that I was kissing her back. We hold onto each other while we did what she had meant by people doing to show their love.
When I came back to the hotel it was already dark everywhere. Yoongi came running to me. He had noticed that I was soaking. He asked, “Did you fell into the water or something?” He looked genuinely concerned about me.
I smiled at him instead and said the most unexpected thing I had ever imagined I would say. “Yoongi-ah!” I said, “I think, I’m in love.”
Yoongi raised one of his eyebrows suspiciously, “Hyung! Are you sure you’re okay? Do you want me to take you to the doctors?” To which I only replied with my infamous laughter that sounded like a windshield wiper.
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Reader’s POV: (The Past)
There was a fight, not so far away from where I lived. It wouldn’t have bothered me as much because I was used to the pirates fighting all the time. But this time, one of the ships was Jin’s. So, I couldn’t stay still and not interfere, even if it was exactly what Jin would have wanted me to do.
Unfortunately I was too late to arrive. I could tell that the fight was already over and the winning party was definitely not my Jin. Some were already dead on deck by the time I had reached them while the others were held prisoners. Perhaps the most frightening thing I saw was how they blew the knife through Jin’s chest and kicked him into the water as if they didn’t care at all.
But I cared. I got hold of him and took him to our most familiar place. There was still a little life left in him by then.
Jin spoke to me as if he wasn’t in agonizing pain, “I’ve never told you this but, jagi, you’re beautiful.”
I felt like I wanted to cry. But I still managed to reply, “No! You always told me that I was ugly.”
Jin laughed through the pain, “I only joked about it, silly. I would never have loved you if you were ugly.”
“But you do love me.”
“That’s because you’re beautiful.” A moment of silence. Then a sigh left his mouth, “I can’t believe this is what we’re talking about when I’m literally dying.”
I panicked at his words. “No, Jin! Please don’t die.”
“It’s okay, jagi.” He smiled warmly. He raised his hand to touch my face and said, “I promise, I’ll come back to you in my next life. Wait for me till then, will you?”
“Yes! I’ll wait for you.” I nodded.
“And don’t get caught.”
“Okay! I won’t get caught.” Another moment of silence, “But how long should I wait for you? When will you come back to me?”
Silence.
”Jin?”
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Jin’s POV:
Yoongi was lying on the couch and peeling a tangerine as I entered the room. “Hyung, there’s good news for you.” Yoongi smirked. There was a hint of sarcasm in his voice. “The scientists, too, have started to believe in the existence of mermaids.”
I didn’t mind the teasing at all. So, I shrugged, “See! I told you it was possible.”
“I mean, yeah, well, theoretically.” Yoongi looked annoyed, “But I’ve never thought they would go so far as to search for a real one to experiment on.”
“What do you mean? Search for?” This time, I took it seriously.
“Aren’t you seeing the news?” Yoongi asked, “It’s all over the place. They are going to send the first search team here by tomorrow.”
“Here?” I was beyond shock, “You mean the ‘Mariachi Island’?” When Yoongi nodded in affirmation, I shook my head in denial, “It’s absurd.”
“I know right! I mean, why bother spending the money and time on a mythical creature? Specially, in this economy…” Yoongi trailed off as I ran out of the room without paying a heed to him.
I needed to alert her. She was in real danger.
“No! I’m not going away from you.” The first thing she said as I explained her the whole situation and asked her to leave the place for good to join her community at the pacific.
“You are not understanding. It’s really dangerous. There are people out there who are determined to cage you. And God knows what they’ll do to you.”
She still refused to see the risks. “But you had promised you’ll come back to me. So, I’ve waited for you. Why are you asking me to leave you now?”
“Because it’s… Oh God! Jagi, I wish I could explain it better.” I was mad at myself for not being able to say the right words.
“Then, explain it to me.” She almost screamed at me. It was the first time I saw rage in her eyes which left me silent for a while.
“I’m so sorry, jagi.” I began to speak slowly, “The past me was a selfish and an asshole. I shouldn’t have asked you wait for me in the first place. It’s so messed up.”
“But it’s okay now.” Her voice softened, “The dreams have brought you to me again so that we can finally be together. It’s our fate.” The desperation in her voice made me tear up.
“No, Jagi!” I shook my head, “The day we were born as two different species was the day it had been destined; we were never meant to be.”
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Reader’s POV:
I couldn’t understand why Jin was so eager to send me away. I knew the humans were dangerous. So, I had been hiding from them well. I didn’t see any problem in staying in the island for some more time. I was sure I could manage this much for my Jin.
But one thing had stricken me like a lightning blow. Something that Jin had said. And I knew I would never be able to forget it for the rest of my life.
Jin told me that we were never meant to be. This line was enough to make me realize there was no point in staying in this island. Not even for my Jin. So, I decided I would grant his wish and leave for good.
“Why are you crying, Jin?” I asked as it was the first time I ever saw tears in his eyes. But there was no reply.
I took the pearl necklace off my neck. It didn’t shine as much as the way it used to and looked very old. But it still was the most precious thing to me.
I handed it to Jin, “Will you promise me something?”
“What is it, jagi?” He asked in a whisper.
“Promise me that you’ll never forget about me.” I requested.
Jin shook his head, “It’s impossible to forget you.”
I turned towards the water. “So, this is how we part.” I thought to myself.
The sun was setting already. The sunset, I realized, was my most favorite time of the day. I knew, it would no longer be. I couldn’t bear to look at it anymore. Because, every time I did so, it had reminded me of my Jin. But once, there was hope. And that hope was gone now.
I took a good look at the setting sun for the last time before diving into the water. Away from the danger. Away from the people. Away from my Jin.
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