astertimberwolf

[astertimberwolf]

Any other dragonkin feel this? 😂😭

[astertimberwolf]

I feel insane (in a good way) because I somehow managed to do this to myself: resolving all of my trauma, with very little to no guidance. Blindfolded. In the dark. With pitfalls sporting spiky bottoms surrounding me on all sides and while balancing myself on a thin thread.

I did fall and survive being impaled several times, where I thought I was done for, for good- each time thinking "this is it, this is how it ends" ...and yet, finding a way to climb back onto the darn thread over and over again. It only cost me like...

(Hold on im gae, tired and counting with limited brain cells and energy)

...16-17 years of my life to get there? Yeah. That's how long ago it's been, since depression hit me hard... All the way up until now.

That's a long-ass time. Over a decade and a half...

...Was it worth it?

Remains to be seen. Depends on how the next couple of years play out.

I hope a healed mind, heart and body will finally give me the chance to thrive- something I've been robbed of for all of my youth... No thanks to my shitty parents and other blood relatives that enabled neglect and abuse. No thanks to all the people who sexually assaulted or groomed me, r*pist included- and definitely no thanks at all to the shitty human beings that bullied me, used me, made fun of me, verbally, emotionally and psychologically tore me down, never gave me the benefit of the doubt, called me the worst names in any book ever written- and betrayed my trust, taking advantage of my ignorance, benevolence and naïvety. Y'all can go f*ck yourselves. I have forgiven very few of you- and only partially when it comes to some of the things you've done to me. Some (people and things), I will never forgive... Karma will return the favor tenfold, don't you f*cking worry.

*takes a deep breath*

Despite the justified rage boiling up inside of me for all the shit that I've had to endure... I know I've done damage as well, some of which permanent. If anything, I want those people to know that 98.5% of the times where that happened, it really wasn't intentional, planned or whatnot. Life is just chaotic- and at times I've snapped where I couldn't take the pain anymore. But I've become a lot stronger, wiser, kinder, better- and I won't show my anger / rage / ugly side if I can help it.

I'm far from perfect. Doubt I'll ever even come close to scraping- or even so much as seeing perfection.

I'm battered, but sharper than ever. Like steel being turned into a sword, hit after hit. I hope the blacksmith of life is happy with their work. They've created a weapon that will cut through anything in its wake- and will hopefully be used to defend rather than offend.

May blood never coat my blade again.

You will patch up all the holes in 2025.

(this isn’t a post about knitting)

[astertimberwolf]

This is something I wish they taught in schools instead of letting kids roam free on toxic social media platforms like Twitter. Man... if this was taught well, we'd have a more empathetic youth, as well as young adults, instead of the barrage of insecure, anxious, anti-social lonely people that roam the internet nowadays. :(

Wow. The patience, kindness and calm communication skills. Outstanding.

From raindovemodel

[astertimberwolf]

[astertimberwolf]

OP, while I get it that you've gotten lucky with dating, many, many others haven't had this luxury.

One of my exes called me crazy / touched in the head for being otherkin (among other things relating to my mental health she didn't understand or is / was still ignorant of + prejudiced against).

I now put it in bold on my dating profiles that I'm otherkin, so that people who don't like it or get it hopefully f*ck off, but for reference... Ex in question was also a minority (enby/trans). I tried getting them to understand how her/their words would feel if someone said that about their transgender identity... It still didn't click.

Maybe not all people in the otherkin / therian community... but a handful of them have been hurt by regular human-identifying people to the point where trust has become really hard for them.

I used to be a misanthrope when I was younger and wasn't out as otherkin yet / didn't know about the term and community, but I got over that toxic mentality. It still stemmed from being exposed to a lot of trauma and negative experiences though, and it took a long time to heal from those and get to where I'm at today.

What I'm trying to say is, please try to understand that trusting otherkin over regular humans a bit more (for a lot of people) comes from having had very negative / bad experiences with humans and fewer negative experiences involving otherkin people.

As for my close(ly knit) friends circle- it's mixed. I have an equal amount of open-minded accepting humans and also otherkin friends (one of which is an ex I didn't have a falling out with).

Last but not least, most people look for relationships either online or are stuck in rural places with limited accessibility to a better dating pool... And if you know how toxic and judgemental many, many people out there and on social media apps are... Welp. Yeah, it will feel like "most humans suck". Again, a lot of younger otherkin will stick to those beliefs out of bad experiences, or because they want someone who can at least get them in a way that many others won't. It's not necessarily a bad thing. I can understand your frustrations with people being downright misanthropic, but it's all too easy to run away from humanity when a lot of the people within it are (sadly): judgemental, prone to making fun of you, prone to tormenting others, prone to hypocrisy- mob mentality, and other anti-social behaviors... And then these same people also wonder why they end up alone.

It's a complicated issue with many aspects to consider. You can't just dismiss some otherkin's negative experiences- the same as you can't just be blind to the fact that a lot of people on many popular social media will treat you like garbage or make fun of you for being ANY shade of different.

Bad experiences and wanting to avoid them go hand-in-hand. I don't blame otherkin who only want to date otherkin, and I definitely don't blame people who choose to date whichever because they found someone nice.

I too wish I could find someone nice who was into me...

...Would I want them to have more things in common with me and have them understand me on a deep level? Sure, but I also don't have that much choice (I'm a minority within a minority and most people don't want anything to do with me to begin with). I just don't wanna get hurt again, over and over, like I have been in the past... And I think a lot of people can relate to that and it's a valid feeling.

Essencially, try to understand where people are coming from. It will make you less frustrated and more open to understanding others and appreciating what you have.

I'm going to be a bit blunt here, but the way a lot of alterhumans talk about non-alterhumans in terms of romantic potential is gross and weird. I get that it can be scary to come out to a partner that isn't nonhuman, but some of them legitimately refuse to even consider humans as romantic partners. A lot of them sound like they don't want to actually find someone that has similar values and morals to them, but instead want to be lazy and just date another nonhuman so they don't actually have to bond and connect with someone to feel certain that they won't find their identity strange. It feels sometimes like they'd rather date a nonhuman they have nothing in common with and fight all the time with, rather than a human that they connect with easily and instantly. I swear, a lot of them are misanthropes, rather than nonhumans with preferences. It's not all, but definitely a majority, and as someone who has a human partner who has accepted and embraced my identity from day one, if anyone ever said that about them to my face, shit like "but they can't really understand you, they probably think you're weird deep down, you'd be better off just dating another therian" I think I'd actually throw paws.

Like, the way I see it, if some of the stuff they said about refusing to date humans was said about refusing to date people without specific disabilities or gender identities or whatever else, they'd get called out for it. If it's just a preference fine, I don't care about that, but if it's just a preference, then you shouldn't feel the need to explain how awful your non-preferred group is and how they're all closed-minded and incapable of understanding you no matter what.

🐾

[astertimberwolf]

If this isn't me then idk...

Looks like I've been caught in 4K. With custom T-shirts and all 😭😭😭

himbo rights

[astertimberwolf]

[astertimberwolf]

Reblogging this for relevance, because it's becoming a fulfilled prophecy. 😂✨✌️❤️

In 2025, we're choosing peace. In 2025, we’re letting karma do its job. In 2025, we're allowing others to miss the old us. In 2025, we're making our mental health the priority. In 2025, we're making peace with uncertainty.

[astertimberwolf]

Yep. This is too relatable. It's why I'm partially a shut-in when I don't have to work. People suck, sadly.

Saw this on Reddit and thought wow that’s literally me

I could just thrive in the wild walking on all 4s eating berry’s and meat and no one could judge me at all

I’m now tempted

[astertimberwolf]

Someone was on drugs on the job! :D

Or maybe this is gen Alpha on Adderall. You decide. Lmao

[astertimberwolf]

Contentness (37%!) is about to overtake what used to be depression (39%).

Started out using this app ("How We Feel") while overwhelmed and suffering from lots of depression and anxiety- and then, after exorcizing some demons in between October and November... the blue (depression) is now turning green! Red (anxiety) is fading- and small bouts of hyperactivity (Yellow) have started to show themselves again.

Additionally, it turns out that my depression was partially suppressing my mild ADHD.

Healing from trauma, while also processing and understanding my emotions, has really changed my life. I'm now tackling the CPTSD I still have, which thankfully has also died down significantly. There are very few emotional flashbacks occurring and even when they do occur, I can handle them better than I ever did before!

I have also become so much more calm and peaceful. Inwardly, it's like I've cleared out a curse that continuously caused me emotional and psychological suffering. My mind is literally a quiet temple and my heart is not shriveled, frozen and rotten anymore (or at least, that's how I used to picture it in my head in the past).

A peaceful mind, a normal heart. No weight on my shoulders. No shadows chasing me anymore. I'm still struggling to believe it.

People can heal. Start over. Change. Anything is possible.

[astertimberwolf]

This feels so weird. I'm whole and I'm healed now, but I don't really know what to do with myself... Guess I'll spend this year figuring that out.

I'm finally free.

...Free from negative thoughts. Free from the guilt that kept tormenting me. Free from all my regrets, from the burden of responsibility and all the toxicity that kept tainting my mental wellbeing. A true, clean, fresh start.

I'm only responsible for myself, my actions and my own self-growth now.

It's hard to believe I made it this far. At least I know what I want from myself and others. True happiness might just about be around the corner!

❤️✨💕💞

I have a lot of love to give to those who are nice to me, who are deserving- who are truly good and caring. To a special someone that may or may not cross paths with me someday...

[astertimberwolf]

If I can't make fun of myself, how am I supposed to enjoy life? 😂

[astertimberwolf]

silly little thing i made ฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠^⁠ฅ

awroooooo!!!

[astertimberwolf]

This is just proof of those (kinds of) people being insane IMO (and not having a hobby or life). 😂

Idk what kind of result they expect from doing that- other than receiving mockery in return.

imagine going on tumblr, the weirdo website, just to hate on weirdos. its like walking into a pigeon coop and then getting mad at all the pigeons because you dont like pigeons. like my brother in christ you walked into pigeonland. you are a pigeon now

[astertimberwolf]

Wasn't me- 😶‍🌫️😂🤭

Alr which one of y'all was it?

[astertimberwolf]

The 13th... A "Wolf Moon"... Anyone else not gonna sleep tonight? ✨🌕👈👀🐺