#almost decided not to post this one either

[youleftmenochoicebut]

WHEN YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW — james potter x reader.

SUMMARY. — the highlights of your relationship with james fleamont potter

PAIRING. — james potter x fem!reader

WARNINGS. — fuck around and find out; use of Y/N; english isn't my first language;

A/N. — so this is inspired by the masterpiece margaret by ldr!! also, first post, yay!!!

๋࣭ ⭑────୨ৎ────⭑๋࣭ first meeting; 6th year (1976)

"if you're gonna jump, i'd love to see you do a double flip." James' voice sounds out through the cold night air, and you can hear him chuckle as you turn around, eyebrow raised.

okay, you're totally surprised to see him here, way past the curfew, on the top floor of the astronomy tower while the wind whooshes rather lightly for the winter season. of course you know who he is, everyone at hogwarts knows him and his group of friends, the marauders. but, being a ravenclaw who doesn't stuck their nose in other people's business, you never had the pleasure of being a victim to one of their pranks.

"i'm not jumping." you reply after a moment, stepping away from the edge as you throw the muggle cigarette you'd been smoking to the floor, stomping it out. you reach your hand up, brushing your hair behind your ears, and for a while you two just stare at each other.

"everyone's already packing for the christmas break." he murmurs, adjusting the glasses sitting on his nose, a smirk playing on his lips and he strolls closer to you, leaning back against the railing. "you're going home, or not?"

your brows furrow, nose crinkling, as you eye him up and down suspiciously. you're pretty sure it's a bad omen that James Potter approached you just like that, out of the blue, but you decide to humor him anyway.

"no, i... i'm staying here." you answer his question, biting down on your lower lip, and you look away with a shrug. "don't you have a game tomorrow, Potter?"

"i do, Y/N. what, you gonna come?" James pushes his hands inside the pockets of his pajama pants, smiling at you, raising his eyebrow. you don't even try to ask how he knows your name, you probably don't want to know either way.

you shake your head and chuckle, the air escaping your mouth looking like smoke in the freezing weather. "quidditch isn't really my thing." you respond, and you chew on your words for a beat before adding. "catch the snitch for me, huh?"

he seems taken aback for a quick second, but lightens up soon enough, and nods eagerly. like a golden retriever, you think. with that thought, you take off, waving him goodbye as you swiftly disappear down the staircase.

๋࣭ ⭑────୨ৎ────⭑๋࣭ first date; 6th year (1977)

you stand in front of the only mirror in your dorm, most of your dormmates already out and about except for Sage, who's sitting on her bed and watching you closely as you fiddle with the hem of your dress.

"i look ridiculous." you groan, tugging down the tiny skirt of your outfit, glancing back at Sage. the dress is from a muggle friend of yours, apparently very in fashion now as she stated in her letter, but you can't feel more out of your element. it's not that you don't like clothes like that, it's just that you almost never wear them.

however, you're getting ready for a date with the James Potter, and you want to look your best. oh, and it's Valentine's Day, so you want to somehow prove to everyone who'll see you that you're worthy of James.

"you look great, stop whining." Sage rolls her eyes, munching on her chocolate frog, and she scratches her cat behind his ear.

you sigh, nodding at your friend's aggressive approval, then grab your bag, quickly putting your wand into it, and you saunter over to Sage's bed. you kiss her forehead, chuckling when you hear her let out an ew.

you leave your dormitory, run down the stairs, then sigh again as you get out of the common room, bracing yourself at the challenge of getting to the end of the staircase. and so it takes you some time, time that you spend overthinking almost every interaction you had with James in the two months you have known each other.

when you finally arrive at your meeting spot, your hair's all messed up and tousled, your eyes bloodshot from the wind and lips dry from constantly licking them. instead of Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop or the Three Broomsticks, James insisted on you two meeting here. in the Hogwarts grounds, near the Great Lake. usually, even during that time of the year, the grounds were full of students. but now, they're clear, except for a big red blanket on the snowy grass, with James sitting down there. there must be some spell casted around that area that keeps it warm, because James doesn't have his coat on. you approach him with a smile, dropping down next to him, and the heat hits you, making you loose your jacket soon.

for a moment, James just stares at you, mouth agape, his eyes shimmering with pure happiness. "you're beautiful." he breathes out as you nervously tug down your skirt, and a chuckle escapes your lips.

"thank you." your smile widens, and you look at the picnic basket he prepared, smelling the freshly baked cookies and the two bottles of juice. he notices your eyes wandering, his hand reaching out and grabbing a strand of your hair, untangling it gently.

"uh... i made the cookies myself." he murmurs, and when he meets your amused gaze, he shakes his head. "yeah, no i didn't. i asked the kitchen elves to make them. but they were more than happy to do it!"

you laugh heartily, feeling the blush creep up your cheeks at his touch, his hand dropping down and resting over your wrist.

๋࣭ ⭑────୨ৎ────⭑๋࣭ first fight; 6th year (1977)

exam season is really fucking with you this year. after last year's OWLs you really thought i'd be easier this year, but clearly not. you're running low on sleep, nourishment, and your patience. almost every waking moment you're spending in classes, doing your assignments or studying in the library with Lily and the other gryffindor girls with whom you've become quite close ever since you started dating James.

well, when it comes to James himself, you haven't seen him much lately. and when you do, it mostly goes one way with you doing both of your homework while James watches you with hearts in the place of pupils, and leaves kisses and touches all over your body.

it's 9.30pm on friday when you're making your way back to your common room after yet another study session in the library, being one of few students out in the hallways at this time. you turn round the corner, your body collapsing against someone else's, and you end up on the floor on your ass. a yelp escapes your mouth, and when you look up ready to shout at the idiot in your way, you realize it's your idiot.

"you look like hell, sweetheart." James smirks, glancing down at you as he leans in with outstretched hand, helping you up smoothly. you let out a huff, rolling your eyes, annoyed out of your goddamn mind, and you step away.

"wow, James, thank you. that's just what a girl wants to hear from her boyfriend after a shitty day." you murmur, wanting to just go past him, because you can feel your temper run short already. but of course, James being James, doesn't allow you to do so. he grasps your wrist as you try to pass him by, and you yank away the moment you feel his hand on yours. "sod off!" you hold your books closer to your chest, frowning momentarily.

"you've been ignoring me, Y/N." he says quietly, and it's probably the first time you hear him so serious and toned down. "i'm trying, i'm making effort, and you're acting like studying is the only thing that matters."

"because, right now, it is! it is to me!" you raise your voice, your hand clasping at the material of your shirt, and you shake your head. "i've been slacking off the whole spring because of you, and now i have all this shit to catch up. i don't have time for nonsense."

you don't even realize the blow that your words are to James, too sleep-deprived to notice the way his lips purse or how he almost seems to physically hurt at your statement.

"is that all you think we are? nonsense?" he whispers, ruffling his curls in an anxious gesture. "cause if that's the case, then i'll stop bothering you."

"no, James, you know that's not what i meant." you groan, shaking your head, and you step closer to him. "i'm sorry. i'm just so constantly tired and... sorry."

๋࣭ ⭑────୨ৎ────⭑๋࣭ first 'i love you'; summer of 1977

the sun is hitting your body in all the right angles, a cigarette dangling between your lips, as you lay on your back, on the jetty while the boys play in the water. you, Remus, and Peter have spend the past week at the Potter manor with James and Sirius, and James' parents. it's mid july, summer in all its glory, and you try to live it to the fullest.

you squeal and open your eyes the moment you feel drops of water fall all over you, and you're met with James' athletic figure right in front of you. he kneels down, face to face with you, quickly taking the cigarette from you and taking a drag. rolling your eyes, you sit up, pushing his shoulder playfully. you watch the rest of the marauders with a small smile on your face, Peter standing in the most shallow point of the lake and sipping on some fire whiskey, Sirius and Remus making out with only their heads visible out of the water. James rests his chin on your shoulder, one arm wrapping around your waist and tugging you closer against his chest, and you glance up at him through half-lidded eyes, observing the way he blows out the smoke.

"i love you." you whisper suddenly, as if the thought just struck you, your hand raising to push his glasses up his nose, and you lean in to plant a soft kiss on his cheek.

"yeah?" he replies, his voice having that cocky edge to it, but you can see his heart truly explode, eyes full of love. "i love you, sweetheart."

๋࣭ ⭑────୨ৎ────⭑๋࣭ engagement; fall of 1978

after a whole day of unpacking boxes and moving (using magic) furniture around, both you and James are truly exhausted. you’ve just moved into your first house together, having lived with James’ parents for the summer, and despite needing some renovations you are able to live in it without a problem.

as James takes a break on the couch, probably reading this month’s Quidditch Times, you’re trying to cook something for dinner. you’ve decided you don’t want to have a house elf, neither yours or James’ family ever had one, and you two aren’t changing that. but, that means you have to learn how to cook. which actually turns out to be quite the challenge.

two burnt lasagna-lookalikes in, you give up, your face red and eyes filled with frustrated tears. casting a quick cleaning spell, you leave the kitchen and head to the living room, expecting to see James there. but the space is empty.

„Jamie?” you shout out, looking around with a frown gracing your soft features, and after a moment of listening in, you hear him cursing somewhere outside.

and so, with your hands on your hips, already sure he’d just fucked something up, you make your way outside to your garden, through the living room backdoor. you’re immediately taken aback when you see daisy petals just laying around on the grass and it takes you a second to realize it’s a path. growing more and more suspicious you follow it, and it leads you to the small pond in the further corner of the backyard. the rocks around the pond are covered with lit up candles, and James is on one knee next to the wooden bench.

„hi, sweetheart.” he murmurs with a smile, holding a small velvet box in his hand, and as you come closer, you can see the tears already prickling in the corners of his eyes. he opens the box swiftly and the ring nestled inside must be the most beautiful rock you have ever seen. „i… i had a whole speech prepared, you know. about- well, you. us. but right now, looking at you, i cannot remember shit of what i wanted to say. the only thing i do know, and i always will, is that i want to look at you for the rest of my life. i want to see you smile, i want to make you laugh, i want to wipe your tears away. every single day. so, Y/N Y/L/N, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

you drop to your knees almost instantly, a sob escaping you as you’re at eye lever with him, and you just nod. you nod, over and over, letting your tears run down your cheeks, knowing that if you speak you’ll break down completely. James knows that too, and he silently slips the ring onto your waiting finger, bringing your hand to his lips and planting a soft kiss on each finger.

„oh, and before you say anything, i call dibs on the wedding date.” he whispers and you chuckle, pushing your lips against his before responding.

„yeah? so what’s the date?” you tilt your head, just staring at him with the stupidest smile on your face, with tear stained cheeks. you two look like idiots, kneeling in the dewed grass, but honestly you don’t care.

„december 18th.” James replies, clearly proud of himself for the mere idea, and his hands cup your face, thumbs brushing the tears away. „the day we met.”

๋࣭ ⭑────୨ৎ────⭑๋࣭ pregnancy; winter of 1980

you’re laying on your shared bed, fingers tapping against the huge curvature of your stomach, feeling your baby kick furiously inside you. you’re waiting for James to come home from work, as you’re already on bed rest, only two weeks away from your due date (which is january 31st)

you’ve been bored out of your fucking mind for the last few days, James putting in more hours at work before he has to take paternity leave when the baby comes, and everything in the house being all done and finished. everything babyproofed, nursery set up and ready, every single thing you could own for a newborn, you have. the only thing that’s left for you is resting and looking pretty, as James had said one evening.

your neck practically snaps from how fast you turn your head the moment you hear James apparate outside your house. you groan, quickly moving your hand to massage the back of your neck, and in just a few minutes James is standing in the doorway to your bedroom, a tired but oh so happy smile on his face.

„hi there, mama.” he mutters softly, dropping his suitcase and his wand onto the desk, getting onto the bed right away. he reaches out, tugging your shirt up to expose your big baby bump that’s covered with stretch marks, and leans in, placing kisses all over your belly. „and hi there, lad or gal. i hope you’ve been good to your mom today. daddy had a long day, you know.”

you smile, running your fingers through James’ curls as he rests his chin on your stomach, hands rubbing at your skin there, eyes set on your protruding belly button. you love when he tells you about his day in that way, talking to the baby about it, a habit you both created somewhere in your fifth month of the pregnancy, when you started showing more and more clearly.

„yeah? anything interesting happen today?” you ask quietly, gently playing with his hair, your tired gaze set on his face at all times.

„i won a bet with Sirius, which one of us would catch the most death eaters in an outing.” he hums after a beat, tapping his finger against your stomach, and both of you chuckle when the baby kicks so hard you can see its tiny foot stretch your skin. „yeah, your uncle Padfoot lost a bet. loser. daddy’s the best at what he’s doing, baby Potter.”

„merlin, you’re teaching our baby unhealthy rivalization and it’s not even born yet.” you roll your eyes, tugging at the ends of his hair teasingly, while he bats his eyelashes up at you.

„after all, they’re a Potter.” he murmurs lovingly, looking at your round and puffy from all the baby weight face as if he’s seen an angel, and he swears to himself that he’s falling in love with you over and over again every time he looks at you. „it’s in their genes, sweetheart.”

[moociaoafterdark]

The last post was a rhetorical question, but, glad you guys want to hear me out!

Anyway, the Imperial Palace is haunted. "Haunted".

Surely, there are no such things as ghosts, right?

Except, when the Raven Guard Astartes began to report things disappearing when you don't look at them and also seeing pale ghostly figure stalking the hallways, people began to tense up, even though some just brushed it off as them confusing a ghost for one of their own. When the Custodes began to back up the Raven Guard's claims, the Primarchs got involved.

So, the main ghost hunting squad consists of Horus, Sanguinius, Corvus and Alpharius (and Omegon, but, shh). If we assign them the "Mystery Gang" roles, then Horus is Fred, Sanguinius is Daphne, Corvus is Velma and Alpharius is either Shaggy and Omegon is Scooby, or it's the other way around. No one notices the changes anyway.

A lot of their methods include things like a ouija board (from which they learned many interesting things about the ghost, particularly how many pickles it can shove up its ass), asking the ghost questions in the dark room, taunting the ghost (and screaming like little girls when the ghost retaliates), using a radio to try to communicate with it... That kind of stuff. A lot of the times, Corvus tries to negotiate with the ghost by offering Horus a sacrifice, much to Sanguinius' annoyance. Surprisingly, Horus doesn't really mind becoming a sacrifice (he thinks he can fight the ghost off) (he can't do shit). Alpharius and Omegon are both amused, however they initially didn't take the hauntings seriously. As time went on, though, they slowly started to plan their way out of the group.

The gang then turned to Lorgar for help. Their research led them to find out that numerous religions, in the past, had ways to ward off ghosts. Perhaps Lorgar can do something? Lorgar decided that a religious sacrifice could potentially pacify the paranormal ("No, Corvus, we are not sacrificing Horus"). He ordered Alpharius and Omegon to find and bring a small animal that they could sacrifice, while Lorgar prepared the salt, the candles and the prayers. Alpharius brought a little white rabbit from the Palace's kitchen. Sanguinius was sad to see such cutie get sacrificed, he made sure to give that rabbit some pats before the ritual. When the right time came, the Primarchs, all 6 of them now, stood in the circle made out of salt, in the room that was pitch black safe for some lit candles. Lorgar read the prayers and tried to stab the rabbit in order to kill it. The dagger, instead, bent to the side, as if the animal was made out of steel. The white rabbit then became possessed and jumped onto Alpharius, trying to bite through his helmet... And almost succeeding, had Sanguinius not grabbed and tossed the vermin out from the circle. Despite being tossed by a Primarch with full force, the rabbit didn't even break a sweat, instead preparing to pounce on its next victim. Thankfully it was put down by Horus and a couple of shots from his bolter pistol that he thankfully brought with himself. The killer rabbit was dead and Lorgar felt despair. Why didn't his faith in their father stop the malicious presence? He will make that ghost pay! Feeling wronged, he joins the ghost hunting squad and helps keep the group together and to coordinate the rituals.

Magnus thinks he can crack the case himself. He gets the photo evidence of paranormal activity, however, his recording skills are subpar. The photos and videos are blurry as fuck, as if Magnus covered the lense with a thick coat of vaseline beforehand. No one believes him or takes his evidence as, well, actual evidence... Except Jaghatai. His bike has been acting weird lately. Sometimes it turns on all by itself, drives itself for a good distance, sometimes it refuses to turn on, or strange things pop out on the display. Something is messing with his bike and the Great Khan is REALLY pissed at this. And, so far, he only trusts Magnus with this, so, they become a ghost hunting duo. Through the series of unfortunate events, the two have to race away from the pissed off ghost, with Magnus clinging onto Jagh and yelling "DRIVE FASTER, I'M SCARED".

The ghost also visited the Night Haunter himself. When Konrad realized he had an intruder he looked at the ghost, who decided to appear to him as a demonic looking old woman, taller than Konrad himself. Their eyes locked together and Konrad just... smiled, his rotting teeth revealed by a wide grin. He and the Night Lords were never bothered by the ghost again after that.

When news reached Roboute of what was happening in the Imperial Palace, he just made a shocked face and went "Oh no... Anyway!" and then went back to drinking the finest of wines you could find on Ultramar, while basking under Macragge's sun. Jackass.

Ferrus and Rogal were both working on the project together and didn't even notice the ghost. At some point, the ghost became a third participant: holding a hammer or shinning a light where it was needed. When Ferrus and Rogal realized what was happening, they just... Went back to work and continued to exploit the ghost. They would never say no to free labour.

[peterm4rker]

from the rooftops || m.l

seventeen. surprise picnin (written)

🕸🕷✮⋆˙ wc. 1.5k w. curse words! ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ

mark felt like his heart was about to fall out of his ass.

no one had ever told him that picking up the girl he liked was going to be scarier than fighting villains who were quite literally out to kill him for no good reason, and he really didn’t appreciate it. his leg was bouncing up and down as he parked his car in front of your apartment building, his hand shaking as he texted you a quick ‘i’m here’ before getting out of his car, flower bouquet in hand.

the flowers were also a cause of his nervousness. he had spent hours trying to decide if taking flowers to a hang out that was not specified to be a date was too much, but he had spent too much time and money to bribe renjun to tell him your favorite flower, even when he had no idea where he had gotten that information. so he stood next to his car, a bouquet of carnations and forget me nots in hand as he nervously watched the door, waiting for you to come out of it.

you weren’t the most calm in the world, either. you had wracked your head trying to figure out what to wear, because although very cute, mark’s words had not been very helpful to your decision. you had settled in casual clothing while praying to every single being out there that it hadn’t occurred to mark to take you to some place expensive or fancy at 11:30 in the morning. you didn’t really help yourself ease your nerves, either, because you should’ve known that calling rei and chanhee would only end one way; with you wondering if this friendly little brunch hang out was supposed to be a date. he would have clarified if it was, right? maybe hinted at it or something…

your thoughts were cut short as your eyes found mark through the glass doors, a smile unconsciously taking place on your lips as you watched him seemingly talk to himself. the flowers on his hands made your heart shrink in adoration for him, how on earth could someone be that cute? you swore you could squeal at the way he smiled when his eyes met yours.

“hey, ynnie” he breathed out, sounding a little more nervous than he usually did. 

“hey, markie” you smiled and grabbed the flowers as he handed them to you, your eyebrows shooting up as you noticed they were your favorites. “thank you so much, these are my favorites” you commented, your smile widening at the smell of the flowers.

mark suppressed the need to whip out and take a picture that he would post on every single platform available just so people could be blessed by the astonishing sight that was your face, opting for the safest option. “i’m glad you like them” he smiled as he moved to the side, opening his car door for you like his mom had always told him to do.

“thank you, what a gentleman” you almost giggled, getting into the car and taking advantage of the few seconds where he couldn’t see you to gush silently. “where are we going today?” you asked once he got into the car.

“it’s a surprise, so if you could please not pay attention to the road it would be great” he chuckled lightly, and you moved your body so you would be facing him instead of the road as comfortably as you could with the seatbelt on.

“you want to be mysterious soo bad, don’t you?” you asked with a teasing voice, eliciting a small laugh out of him as he began driving, already knowing he made a grave mistake when he noticed that you would now be staring at him the whole drive there.

“sure, let’s say that”

… 

“okay, close your eyes because we’re close” he said, interrupting the small laughs that you earned with the story you were telling him after a drive where he almost killed you about four times since he kept getting distracted by your stare.

you obeyed him without a single word, closing your eyes and hugging the flowers closer to your chest with anticipation. mark forced himself to not stare at you too much so he could park safely, telling you to wait and rushing to open your car door “keep your eyes closed, okay, i’ll guide you there”

you nodded and looked for his hand as you got out of the car, feeling sparks fly the moment your skin made contact with his. he guided you slowly towards the place, stopping where you deemed the middle of nowhere before letting you know you could open your eyes.

nothing could prepare you for what you saw when you did. a blanket laying on a small, secluded area of the prettiest park in town with a picnic basket laying on it “i asked hyuck to set it up while we drove here” he said, shyly stepping away from you.

“it’s so pretty, thank you so much” you smiled, still astonished at the amount of effort he had put into a single hang out. 

“it’s nothing, really” he commented as he went ahead and took a seat on the blanket, patting the place at his side to ask you to sit next to him. “come on”

you couldn’t even hide the love in your eyes as you took a seat next to him “so, what are we going to eat?”

…

the time passed with not a single moment of awkward silence between you. it astonished you still how easy it was to talk to mark. he always made sure to listen to you and not talk too much about himself, even though you could easily sit there and listen to him for years on end without getting bored.

“and then she got arrested a few years later” he concluded his story, chuckling slightly at the sight of you with your jaw slack.

“that’s a crazy story, are you okay?” you asked, half jokingly and half serious.

“yeah, me and hyuck laugh at it all the time so don’t even worry about it” he reassured, his heart warming at your concern.

“you and hyuck have been through everything together, haven’t you?” you asked before biting a piece of watermelon.

“we have, he’s been my best friend since we were like eight” he nodded, a fond smile overtaking his face “we both used to get bullied so we kinda teamed up and became really close. he is kind of weird sometimes, but there is not a single dull moment with him… he’s also the smartest person i know, even when he acts like he isnt”

you listened closely with a smile on your lips as he spoke about his friend, finding it adorable “i can see how much you guys mean to each other, and i know it’s such a beautiful feeling to have a person like that”

mark hummed in agreement “you’re like that with rei, no?”

“yeah, i am… i mean, i’ve known her forever and at this point she’s more my sister than my friend” you smiled “but i’m lucky enough to have two people like that, chanhee is lowkey the reason i’m still alive”

he smiled fondly as he watched you, stars dancing in his eyes because of how incredibly marvelled he was by the simple sight of you.

“i get it, i should thank him for keeping you alive for long enough to meet me, then” he smiled, and you felt your heart skip a couple of beats.

“yeah, i guess you should”

��

“thank you for everything, mark, i had a really good time” you thanked as he opened your car door, now in front of your apartment once again.

“of course, ynnie, it’s my pleasure always” he smiled softly, his voice tender.you couldn’t help but feel like your heart was going to burst out of your chest at the way he was looking at you. did he look at all his friends like that? “i should go, my bio paper is waiting for me”

“sure, i should go inside,” you muttered, your voice as soft as his. neither of you made a move to leave the position you were currently in, simply staring at each other’s eyes like it was your life line.

“okay, i really do have to leave” he chuckled as he finally broke eye contact, knowing that if he looked at you for longer he might do something he would regret.

“okay, go, bye” you said with a light tone, moving quickly to leave a kiss on his cheek before waving at him and almost running into your apartment building, leaving mark with a dumbfounded face as he watched you walk away.

he was going to burst.

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© peterm4rker, 2024

[homestuckreplay]

JOHN EGBERT’S GIFT UNBOXING VIDEO LIVE UNEDITED

(page 1052-1069)

‘So much sweet loot. You'd almost think it was simultaneously your birthday, AND Christmas or something. Of course you know that is ridiculous and could never conceivably happen.’ (p.1069)

Today’s update – which was posted on December 21-22, near Christmas, but is set on April 13, John’s birthday – is John blatantly ignoring Rose’s orders and making himself a bunch of sweet loot. The story has laid the groundwork for John alchemizing further, so I think this could still work for someone who’s reading the archive and/or who doesn’t celebrate Christmas – but it’s clearly set up as a real time, shared culture experience.

The things John makes apparently came from an 80 item (!!) MSPA forums poll, with other readers voting on potential alchemy combinations. That’s cute because it’s like we’re collectively deciding what Christmas gifts to give him. Unfortunately I can’t find the poll to see the other options.

I’m going to list off everything John makes for completonism, and then drill down on a couple specific items and discuss the alchemy process generally.

John’s Christmas Loot <3

Hammerhead Pogo Ride (Hammer || Pogo) (5 build 20 shale)

Green Slime Ghost Suit (Suit && John Shirt) (3 build 1 shale)

Wise Guy Slime Suit (Green Slime Ghost Suit || Wise Guy Book) (1 build 5 shale 10 tar) (Contains Secret Trickster Gimmicks)

Serious Business Goggles (PDA && Glasses) (6 build 3 tar 6 mercury)

Telescopic Sassacrusher (Sledgehammer || Colonel Sassacre’s && Telescope) (250 shale 10 tar 50 mercury) (MUCH bigger than John)

Hellacious Blue Phlegm Aneurysm Gushers (Gushers && Nannasprite’s Ectoplasm) (24 build 30 shale 18 mercury) (has healing properties, but still made by Betty Crocker)

Remote Ghost Gauntlet (Fake Arm && Nannasprite’s Ectoplasm || PDA) (32 build 128 tar)

Left Handed Remote Ghost Gauntlet (Remote Ghost Gauntlet && Bathroom Mirror) (32 build 128 tar)

Barber’s Best Friend (Umbrella && Razor) (2 shale 8 mercury) (I support john branching out weapons wise)

Betty Crocker Barbasol Bomb (Gushers && Shaving Cream) (1 build 1 shale) (terrible, but the || combination is likely even worse)

Cosbytop (Ghost Dad Poster && Computer Tower) (30 build 10 shale)

Fedora + Candy Corn (Fedora && Problem Sleuth Game) (5 build)

?????? (Problem Sleuth Game && Hammer) (30,000 build 90,000 ? 6,000 mercury 180,000 ? 1 ?) [NOT MADE]

Wrinklefucker (Pogo Hammer || Iron) (55 build 44 shale 66 tar)

John thinks that his Serious Business Goggles make him ‘look way cooler, like one of the kids from SPY KIDS or something.’ He then quotes the tagline ‘REAL SPIES… only smaller’ which I thought was a classic Homestuck incorrect quote, but a quick search reveals that this was the actual tagline for Spy Kids 1 (2001). I haven’t seen that movie but I HAVE seen Spy Kids 3: Game Over (2003), which is a very Homestuck relevant movie. So I’m planning to rewatch that in the next couple days and see how the game in that movie compared to John’s experiences playing Sburb.

John wearing a bland business suit didn’t feel right to me. It felt like he was playing a part, either dressing up like a movie character or dressing up like his dad because the house feels empty without him, and John feels like he has to step into the ‘man of the house’ role. Now that he’s customizing the suit with the green slime ghost and the possibility of playing 52-card pickup at any moment, this feels like a John outfit. Any suit is still a type of clothing that has a lot of cultural associations, but John showing some identity through his clothes is still meaningful, and the teal looks good on him.

The Cosbytop is a very unfortunate reference and I don’t support Bill Cosby in any way, but the connotations are accidental. From John’s perspective, this person plays a movie character he looks up to. John loves the movie Ghost Dad, but has defaced its poster with ‘IDIOT [R SLUR] DEAD FATHER’. It seems like something John’s dad should have noticed and maybe discussed with John, but instead he apparently ignored it and kept on watching movies with John. I am starting to think that a lot of John’s problems come from his dad’s complete unwillingness to address things openly, which is a common, culturally ingrained trait of quite a few fathers.

And now John has made a computer themed after someone he sees as a good dad, literally creating his own new father figure to guide him through important activities, alchemizing a dad replacement. So there’s a huge difference between John’s conscious and unconscious opinions of Elliot Hopper (the protagonist of Ghost Dad), and he’s unwilling to think through that – he takes a moment to think ‘lousy goddamn stupid subsconscious!’ but immediately moves on. I think John is less able to compartmentalize his feelings towards his actual dad, but they’re just as conflicted.

In and around the SWEET LOOT, we actually learn more about alchemy (although it’s easy to miss in the excitement). John is now using overlapping card && combinations, leading to punched cards with only a few holes, and double punched || combinations, leading to punched cards with a lot of holes. The hammer/pogo combination is the only one where we’ve seen both options. I think this is a missed opportunity – John should have tried Problem Sleuth Game || Hammer and seen if it also cost a ridiculous amount of grist.

The pogo hammer cost 10 build grist and 16 shale, while the hammerhead pogo cost 5 build and 20 shale – the same types of grist for both, but the numbers are different. I’m not sure how an item’s grist cost and types are calculated, or if it’s possible to predict that – but most items John has tried to make, he’s had the right types of grist for. So maybe the items in a player’s house are linked to the grist they collect in the early game, while other items John might discover on his journey (or perhaps on Prospit??) will use grist that doesn’t appear until the late game. The cost could relate to the number of combined items, except the butchered rocket pack (4 combined items) only cost 4 build and 8 shale.

On page 1064, John figures out how to ‘subtract’ one item from another, making a simpler item instead of a more complex one. This is super smart of him, as he accounts for all possible ways the subtraction could work, tries them in turn, and finds which one is right. I want to give John big props for being so smart, but also highlight how different the items from the other combinations are – punch cards with a single hole difference can yield a potted plant, a painting of a horse attacking a football player, and a Ghost Dad movie poster. So it’s not possible to change a single hole to make a similar but different item; there’s a randomization process preventing that.

I also wonder if there’s a maximum number of items that can be combined – John says that by alternating && and || combinations, the total number of holes will stay relatively consistent, but surely there’s a point where combining enough complex items loops back around to making something really simple. Just due to the limited number of hole combinations available, there’s a theoretical limit to how weird this can get, and I think it’d be funny if John combined the Wise Guy Slime Suit with the Hellacious Blue Phlegm Aneurysm Gushers and ended up with a simple kitchen spoon, because he’s hit the limit.

I understand why Rose wants to save the grist for building John’s house, but most of the items he’s made are genuinely useful – the new weapons are essential, the healing gushers are really smart for if Nannasprite isn’t around, and the serious business goggles will make it WAY easier to keep in touch with Rose without the PDA getting lost in John’s sylladex. Sburb/Skaia is a somewhat malevolent entity, so while this is a fun happy update, I can’t help but wonder if Sburb is trying to sow discord between friends by giving the server and client player two different goals, but a singular resource. Even if it’s not malicious, it’s a trial by fire for this friendship.

> John: Combine playing cards and candy corn.

[glitter-stained]

I'm writing a Jason Vs Dick fic for a secret santa exchange...

The prompt has the fic set during the Battle for the cowl arc - Jason is the villain. He's delusional (the dyeing his hair thing never really happened - he dyed his black hair red) and seriously messed up. It is a pretty dark fic.

Basically Jason knows on some level how badly messed up he is. He wants Dick to be his Robin, because he believes that it was Robin Dick who saved Bruce from darkness. He wants Dick (who is already juggling too much responsibility) to do the same for him... Be the light to his darkness...

Saw your posts about the BTFC arc in particular and mentally ill villains in general.

Any suggestions on how to handle the BtFC Jason?

...don’t ?

No, wait, listen. I know I said “write what you want as long as it’s self-aware”, it’s just you’ve chosen to write an absolute nightmare of a minefield to be self-aware about. I believe it’s possible to write Btfc fanfics that aren’t psychophobic, I just think it must be incredibly hard; Btfc is my second least favourite comic because all of it is soaked and drenched in psychophobia and I wish with all of my heart for dc to continue ignoring it and hopefully bury it under layers and layers of retcon until it’s less significant to Jason’s modern characterization than Waldo the clown (no hate on Waldo, he was much better than anything about Btfc though). So, I can give you advice for sure, I’m just concerned it will not be enough, because I wouldn’t trust myself to write a non-psychophobic Btfc fic, but you sure can try!

The core issue about Btfc (and any villainous characterization of Jason) is that, at the difference of other characters like the Joker, there’s a strange kind of coherence to it. For all we talk about Jason sometimes acting OOC, he’s reliably showing symptoms of BPD, like, to me, it’s pretty blatant. The difference between UTH and BiB or Btfc isn’t that he has BPD in one and not the other, it’s that BiB and Btfc are much more brutally psychophobic renditions of BPD than UTH (though UTH isn’t fully clean either). In other words, Btfc is a violent caricature of Borderline Personality Disorder. I’m not sure if this is on purpose, because on the one hand, it’s so consistent I feel like someone at dc told the writers “Jason has bpd” and they all ran with their caricatural representation of the disorder, or (because I don’t wanna underestimate dc’s ignorance regarding mental disorders) if they just read about him, thought “hey, he kinda fits into that subtype of stereotypical mental illness I have in mind” and projected their stereotypes about BPD about him without even knowing those are BPD stereotypes. The end result is the same: bpd on a spectrum from “almost well written” to “nastiest rep I’ve ever read”.

Now in Btfc (just as in UTH or BiB tbh) I’d say Jason is splitting, having an episode in which his BPD symptoms are flaring up completely. This can absolutely include brief psychotic episodes, and tbh the part you mentioned about dyeing his hair I can totally get behind. And because you’re writing Jason in the middle of a particularly intense episode, you can’t make the economy of considering the question of moral responsibility. If Jason is committing morally reprehensible actions as a consequence of the disordered patterns in the context of the episode, whether we’re talking about splitting or delusion or disordered thought patterns, you have to consider the question of responsibility, and on a spectrum. You also have to identify who is deciding those actions are morally reprehensible (is it Dick? The law? You, the author? The anticipated reader? All of them?) and whether you expect this judge is passed on the action, the person, or, who knows, even the disorder itself. And of course consider the implications of that fact. (For example, it’s completely possible for Dick, in the context he’s grown and developed in, and considering the insane stress he’s under, to be psychophobic as fuck; and obviously, writing a character doing something doesn’t mean that you support it, but if Jason is the villain and Dick is a hero and Dick is being psychophobic you should pay attention to whether the narrative is implying that Dick is right to be psychophobic about it.)

[giuseppe-yuki]

I feel like half the drivers accidentally found out their partners were shapeshifters when they were told and the other half found out on accident. Pierre found out on accident and almost ended up passing out seeing the snake on the couch watching TV

George was just very confused about having a deer in his apartment with its head in the fridge

Alex is convinced he’s either sleep deprived or he’s been drugged when he sees a cockatiel folding shirts

Yuki sees you in bunny form when he comes back to the hotel after a night race and you’re just napping on your pillow, he shoots you a text to tell you there’s a rabbit in your spot

Charles thinks you’re joking for the first few weeks after you tell him and lightly teases you until you get tired of it and turn into a hedgehog to bite his fingers mid breakfast

Oscar assumes you’re just tired and delirious when you tell him and he won’t take it seriously until you’ve slept and turn into a duck to hop in the bath with him

Logan just kind of shrugs and thinks “this might as well happen” and gives you a kiss before going off to work

Fernando and Lewis, being old, have both met a single shapeshifter before so when their partners tell them they are completely on board and excited to take you to races in animal form

hey anon, i actually posted a little blurb about this awhile ago for kimi, charles, lewis, alex, max, n lando here!

i really like your takes though :)

i feel it's totally canon for pierre to actually be deathly scared of snakes (like his bestie charles) pre-reveal. his gf knows this, obviously, so she held back on letting him know until she totally forgot one day and decided to chill in her snake form on the couch. cue pierre shuffling into the living room, looking for cuddles and seeing an actual snake on the couch watching, like, the office. he starts screaming and almost faints, almost hitting his head on the glass coffee table. his girlfriend realizes last minute and shifts back to her human to try and diffuse the situation, but only effectively almost causes poor pierre to pass out from shock again 😭 afterwards, though, he gets over his fear and reads up on snakes, therefore becoming- dare i say, a snake expert.

in my shapeshifting!series, george's gf is a successful conservation biologist working at a national park. i feel like george would probably think that the deer is somehow part of his gf's job somehow. he'd be confused but still accepting that the deer was currently going through the bag of apples in the fridge that his girlfriend bought awhile ago at an abnormal rate. later, at dinner or something, he'd prob bring it up out of nowhere, and make sure his gf knows that if she finds the bag of apples empty it was not him- it was the deer that she like, "brought from her work or something." his gf would prob be jokingly mad, like, " oh georgie, you didn't you stop the deer from stealing my apples then >:(" but ultimately reveal her ability.

if alex found a cockatiel in his living quarters i always feel like he'd resort to violence first, as seen in the blurb i wrote before. he'd like freeze up, seeing the bird fluttering around, flying a clothing hanger with his gf's favorite dior top towards the open closet. the cockatiel neatly hangs it on the clothing rod and dives back towards the laundry basket for burberry button up before alex starts swatting at it to "leave his gf's clothes alone." he likely starts shouting for his gf to get in the room, quick, or else "the stupid ass bird that probably flew in from the window is going to ruin your nice clothes". although his gf appreciates the sentiment, she also gets pissed at him for swatting at her and calling her a stupid ass bird after revealing her shapeshifting!abilities ;-;

ha! after, like, las vegas or something, yuki will stumble into the hotel room to find a bunny in loaf form on his gf's pillow. he def takes a pic of the bunny and sends it to his gf, thinking she's out on the strip with the other wags, like, "hi baby i'm back at the hotel :) btw there's a bunny on your pillow it's kinda cute lol [image]" he scoots the bunny over very lightly as to not wake it up but leaves enough space so his gf would be able to sleep when she comes back. it's not until he eats dinner, showers, and watches half of his fav jason statham movie before he realizes it's a little suspicious his gf is nowhere to be seen. he sends her another text, "baby wya it's like 3am 😥" before his *still* sleepy gf walks into the tv area, rubbing her eyes, calling him to come to bed w her. she ignores his confused stuttering and cuts him off w, "wdym yuki i was literally sleeping on the bed the whole time ?" he only connects the dots the next morning in the middle of breakfast in bed, much to the amusement of his gf.

charles is literally so unserious about the whole thing when his gf mentions it at first. a hedgehog? ha right, ur literally so funny ma chérie. he sees a random person wearing sonic merch and immediately asks his gf if that's her. arthur is bothering him? he asks his gf if he's allowed to throw her in her hedgehog form at him so his brother gets impaled by her spikes. she's usually super chill and swears not to cause any harm to anyone but she def makes an exception when it gets too much. charles, with his half buttered croissant halfway to his mouth and teasing grin pasted on his face, is thoroughly unprepared when she launches at him and bites him real hard. he shrieks and jumps out of his chair, but is only met with an eye roll and a snort as his gf makes her way back to her side of the table.

i can't get it out of my head that oscar treats his gf like that meme where the woman is helping her grandma who is in a walker and is like sure, grandma, let's get you to bed. when his gf grasps him by the shoulders, look at him v seriously in the eyes, and says, "i can turn into a duck" at approx 2am, he doesn't believe her at all, and tucks her into bed. throughout the week, he sees clues that hints that she might be telling the truth that he's never noticed before... feathers everywhere, like, 20 bags of frozen peas in the freezer, the constant unfinished ice waters left on the counter. exactly a week later, he had just drawn himself up a bath and dunked his body into the warm water when he hears the door open and his gf siddle in with a smile on her face, already sliding her robe off. he automatically assumes "ooh freaky time perhaps 😈" but then she turns into a duck. his only response is a "wot ? 🤔 🤨"

hooray for nonchalant immediately supportive logan! he completely ignores the fact that his gf just shifted into an entire hawk in the middle of his living room and was standing quite patriotically with her ruffled feathers. instead of freaking out like his gf thought he would, he shrugs and pecks a kiss on her feathery head before saluting her a "goodbye babe, i'm off to work :D ! call me if you need anything :) " (logan's gf texts alex's gf about it and they end up having a good laugh at the unexpected reactions of their bf's - one was so unbothered and the other went to defensive mode)

ofc, ofc! nando and lew are v wise already regarding shapeshifters. they don't hesitate in giving their gfs any accommodations at all for their respective forms (nando with a cocker spaniel and lewis with a samyoed) within seconds, nando will have specialty arrangements ordered for his gf in the am garage while lewis is banging out an email to toto regarding adjustment made to the merc hospitalities for easier "access" (immediately approved due to the fact toto his own wolf shapeshifter!gf)

[burningcheese-merchant]

hello dear merchant!! thank you so much for getting me into burningcheese they make me so ill /pos

i can (somewhat) read french so i decided to reread beast yeast chapter 6 in the language for fun and i wanted to share some highlights ><

- Nutmeg Tiger calls Golden Cheese a "gift" for Burning Spice

- I know this is the literal translation of "little bird" but Burning Spice calling her "petite oiselle" sounds so cute 😭

- Golden Cheese outright says Burning Spice is "obsessed with (finding) her"

- Burning Spice telling Golden Cheese to "feed him with her anger" ???

You're welcome :P I'm down terminal because of this ship, the more people I can drag down with me, the better. Gonna convince the whole damn world to ship BurningCheese, you'll see. We'll get a canon wedding scene before the end of the century at the absolute latest

And uh. I checked out those scenes because uhhh I, too, can somewhat read French. Uhhhhhh I took French in high school and uhhhhhh believe it or not, English isn't my first language, it's a Latin-based language, so uhhhh I can read other "Latin" ones relatively well. And uh. Those scenes. Uhhhhh

BurningCheese AU where Burning Spice is French instead of Indian and he calls Golden Cheese "petite oiselle" STAT

"un cadeau"... A gift. She's a gift for him, huh? Is that how he sees it? How he sees her?

"Je peux m'amuser avec elle" means "I can have fun with her". There's no "with her" in the English version. In this one, he's very clear that he wants fun with her specifically. It's the little things, man...

I- "The earth is still fresh". DID THEY JUST CONFIRM THAT HE ACTUALLY IS SNIFFING HER OUT? I said in my ship evidence post that it almost seems like he's attuned to her scent/aura... I guess I was right?? He is unironically trying to smell her oh my God

"Wonderful!" (Or "beautiful". Please, please just let me believe he's calling her beautiful, PLEASE) "Keep it up, let's dance!" Let's dance. Let's dance. Unironically spoken to her face. Of all the words of tongue and pen...

"Feed me your rage" my guy- idk what to say to that even. Burning Spice Cookie, are you for real right now

"Devant moi". "Before me". That's not there in the English one, either. This is the second time he makes specific reference to them and how he feels about her

I just. Absolute cinema, I knew those French freaks wouldn't let us down. @ Devsisters can they just kiss/get married/fuck already preferably onscreen please and thank you

[commandertartarsmoocher]

This is not an AC/DC reference

Two versions because I think both are neat!

[galactaknightyaoi]

When I first got into Kirby, I didn't expect to like, actually get into it. I thought it'd be like any other hyperfixation I'd had up to that point, that it would go away within a few months and I'd never think about it again.

Given I was so deeply in denial, I didn't care about being fully accurate and had some stuff that was really goofy and/or underdeveloped and unexplained. Stuff I'd made up to just work for the limited time I would be there.

Still, I came up with a few headcanons that I got attached to, and when I started realizing this was here to stay, I still chose to be stubborn and had to work backwards to keep these stupid headcanons, but adapt them into something a bit more fitting and polished.

It led to some cool stuff, like for example, my orbs aren't very magical, this was something I had settled on early on. But after I got invested, I had to think about what that actually meant and the implications of it like, how can they do this without magic? And what about that? What about this canon thing, how do I explain it?

I found decent enough explanations for all of these. But as a result of my unserious beginnings and continued stubborness, now I get really embarrassed at the time to actually talk about my headcanons and the stuff I've come up with.

Because what do you mean your Galacta Knight is half-dragon?

[gideonisms]

THE number one most irritating thing about life is deciding when you're meant to speak or make eye contact and when you're not, and for how long and how many phrases you're meant to say at a time

[pagesofkenna]

Ratfish pt 2 spoilers

we've truly come full circle

[wonder-worker]

"As for the government of the kingdom, [Edward V] had complete confidence in the peers of realm and the queen."

"According to the Crowland continuator, [Elizabeth Woodville] seems to have taken the king's place in listening to his council immediately after Edward IV's death. It does appear that she expected to have some role in her son's kingship, and the Crowland continuator’s report of the letters sent to her by [Richard of Gloucester] indicates that she had good reason to expect to be able to work with him and the other councillors: 'the duke of Gloucester wrote the most pleasant letters to console the queen; he promised to come and offer submission, fealty and all that was due from him to his lord and king, Edward V, the first-born son of his brother the dead king and the queen'."

"[However], in what was Gloucester's first coup, Edward V was separated from his household and Woodville advisors. When the young king questioned the move, Buckingham was reported to have told the boy 'It is not in the business of women but men to govern kingdoms'. The blunt remark referred to the authority of Elizabeth Woodville as queen and the power she must have anticipated within the new political climate left by Edward IV's sudden death [...] While the veracity of this scene is questionable*, the words attributed to the duke no doubt seemed plausible to Dominic Mancini who believed they exemplified the popular sentiment held by men [...]."

-Dominic Mancini, The Usurpation of Richard the Third / J.L. Laynesmith, The Last Medieval Queens: English Queenship 1445-1503 / Alexander R. Brondarbit, Power Brokers and the Yorkist State, 1461-1485

*One of Mancini's key sources seems to have been Edward V's own doctor, John Argentine, who attended to him in the Tower. It's very likely that he was the one who recounted this scene to Mancini, which suggests that it should probably be considered more credible than not.

[kathybluecaller]

Finally got around drawing Aioros :D

[buttercupshands]

I just managed to get off mha hyperfixation

And now it's happening again... Oh no

Helps with upcoming MHUI LoV event tho, it was a long time since last one happened I wonder what would happen in a new filler story part

Basically this and couple of pages of mid-final arc chapters + recent episode and next one being The Dabi episode was just too much not to get excited again

But! Important thing - I need to reread the last arc before I make anything new, if possible without finishing it to the 419 chapter and everything after, it took 2 months to really recover from the damage that chapter did

Anyway am I ready for the new event? Kinda! Do I have enough gems to get new Tomura? No! I'm not sure he'll even show up this time, because other ones were and still are really stubborn

Also Steampunk recruit took like 120 pulls in a step-up recruit and in the usual one combined

Not the best time to get LoV involved, it's cruel even

Also that one part of the page I added at the beginning was so interesting to look at and them I joked about 236 being similar. The only good thing with final arc being over is that I can say that Izuku didn't draw the parallel of seeing everyone hurt and seeing Tenko react on Mon's death

Understandable why, but it's funny to just look at them and be like, "wow Horikoshi traumatized them both"

[mcchicken-scratches]

Found a couple old fics I forgot existed. I dunno if I should bother with trying to finished them up or just leave them to rot (especially since my writing skills have improved since I wrote them, so I'd had to do a bunch of rewriting to make them satisfactory, or just post that part of them as is.)

[todayisafridaynight]

Tune In Next Time For The Kirby Opinions Tier List

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