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emberunderscore · 22 hours ago

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I WOULD LOVE TO . I FEEL LIKE A VAMPIRE BEING INVITED IN YIPPEE :D

It is expected An oath by blood to hold the tome

Fable and his expecations for Icarus, their role as his son - the fucking PLAN (explodes about the plan), their job as his son to go through with it

And the starlight passes overhead Fuels all the skills I've honed

something something all the work Icarus has put into becoming as good at football as they are - because they did put in a lot of work - despite so many things that were handed to them, teams curated to their skillset and playstyle, personal trainers all the things i imagine they had. they still put in the WORK and they are GOOD

I am a guardian A watcher of these ancient rites

the longlasting feud between Fable U and End U and their respective headmasters - Icarus finds themself responsible to continue it, again circling back to the PLAN and their feeling of owing it to their dad to go through with it for even daring to transfer to End U

Yet, I find myself drawn from that path On those dazzling moonlit nights

something about the care centross shows them . the kindness he shows them - not just on those nights they have sex (though icarus surely enjoys those too) . but the nights they spend together comfortably, the times he comforts them after a nightmare, when he practically drags them into his home, give them his clothes all to take care of them, all so they can sleep . something about centross showing them what being loved really looks like . it makes them falter when it comes to the plan . it makes them question their father at least a little . at the very least its a seed buried deep in their mind Let me hold you, keep you close to me

Centross now, seeing the signs he recognises in Icarus, wanting to keep them away from that, wanting to hold them and sheild them and protect them from fable and the false idea of a family he has instilled into their mind

I long to hear your voice

gay yearning as they say

Come now, my little impish plaything We both made our choice

There are so many ways i can think of to interpret this line. Centross' choice to stand up for them in the first place, to keep them on the team- the choice both of them made to go to the party, maybe even the choice they made to hook up and continue to do so. maybe the agreement they made. the arangement they set up with both of their asses on the line. countless other things it could be

(while i wanted to tag this verse as centross because its right in the middle of all the other centross parts. this verse comes back slightly different and i think this one fits icarus better and the next one fits centross better . *side by side comparison of the two at the end) I can give you everything you need

they can be good, they can play nice, perform well- hell they have money they can PROVIDE if need be they can give him everything

Or do you want to hear me plead? Just look my way, just look my way

something about icarus' constant strives for attention from him . their attempts at riling him up . provoking him .

Is there something more that I don't know That you won't say 'til we've both grown cold?

all the half truths still left unanswered . the questions from their little game they dont know . theres many things for this one . so many secrets im sure

Just say, "Please stay" Look my way

something something something icarus so often asks him to stay . stay over. stay on the phone . all the times he helps with their nightmares etc. maybe part of them . the certainly not anxious part . wonders if he needs them the same way . he already has fenris and has for so much longer . he does not need them . he doesnt need their comfort . and maybe they want to feel . wanted . like that This unspoken contract A deed we forged for mutual gain

that deal the two of them made . that agreement. and the concept of icarus getting sex in return for cordial behaviour on the field. i dont think that part was spoken between them but i think its certainly something thats crossed centross' mind

If that's all this was, when you're not here What is this rooted pain?

and when that does cross centross' mind its in his deepest anxieties. that they do not care for him in the way he finds he's growing to. that all of it is an arangement. an exchange. and that hurts to think about

I don't care that you're of lower station

something about being taught to value End U less . being taught to view the opposing team - these rivals - as something less than them. something about icarus holding onto that mindset for so long . thinking themself so much better than everyone on that football team . and only now beginning to let go of that .

Or primed to sate my dark temptations

hor ny

Why can't you understand? Let me explain 'Cause I'm terrified, as I cry To make these feelings true

they are falling for him!!! and they want him to be falling for them !!!!!

What's left for me in this broken house If I cannot have you?

they have changed so much . gone against their father probably more than they ever have in their life . LIED to their father probably for the first time in their life . if they dont get to keep centross what is left for them there. what do they do with all this GUILT they've aquired . perhaps even their own internal conflict im sure is going on about the plan with their father . if they do not go through with it they are Fucked when they get home . and if they don't get to keep centross there is nothing left for them . if they have to choose between their father and centross and they do not get either what the fuck are they supposed to do . I'll give you everything you need

a home . a real family . real love. unconditional love. things Icarus has never known . but desperately needs

What more is there? What more to plead? Just look my way, just look my way

what more can he do than that? how else can they make him look - look at his family . his boyfriend . his parents . his siblings . its a little fucked over by the ordalls perhaps but they all love each other . if icarus looks if icarus sees . what more can he do but show them . help them realise something with what they know might be wrong . might not be good

What can there be that I don't know? Will you never tell or be so bold?

gods centross doesnt even KNow how fable is . doesnt even know . will icarus ever realise ? will they tell him ? will they ever be able to tell theres something wrong there? will they ever have the courage to stand up to him . to leave him?

Just say, "please stay" Look my way

just realise . just tell me youve noticed fable is wrong and not good . tell me you want me to stay . tell me you want to be part of my family Unless it's me?

maybe they are just unlovable in that way. maybe they dont deserve him. maybe they have not earned the right to be loved so tenderly

And no matter what in this world I could give It's not enough

no matter what they do they will never be enough . not for centross . not for their father . not for anyone . maybe they will never earn the love they so crave .

To get through the walls, you've conjured up to live

centross sure as hell has a mask . he has a mask and walls and secrets and while icarus is starting to know him better after so many nights spent together . maybe they will never be good enough to truly know him (maybe he will see them without their mask and walls and secrets first . and he will not like what he finds)

Is this how she'd feel?

actually this about ven . that feeling of not being good enough . that worry of being left behind . they did that to ven . and maybe that guilt is growing too familiar

Abandoned, all alone and left to fend for herself

they were friends - maybe they were more than that . either way they left. no goodbye . nothing . left him Alone. (especially considering icarus new feng . and he died within the time they knew each other)

For some semblance of happiness that doesn't have to end

and icarus did all of that . he left ven behind . alone . and if this happiness and comfort they get from centross were to continue it wouldnt all be for nothing . they might not have to feel guilty for what they did to ven if they never have to experience something similar with centross. I will try to make amends For making you means to an end

i will erase any thought in your mind that this was purely transactional to me . that you are a means to an end. you will come home with me and i will care for you and i will show you that you mean something to me and you will never have the smae anxieties i have that this is purely a transaction for mutual gain

So, look my way, please, look my way

LOOK AT ME AND LET ME SHOW YOU LOVE AND FAMILY AND GOOD THINGS . PLEASSE

And if there's something more that I don't know? I'll save us both before we grow cold

if there is more going on . if theres things he does not know he will do what he can to savour it . to save whatever mess of a relationship they have become becuase gods he CARES.

If you'll stay, and just say "Look my way"

he wants them to stay . he watns them to want him Look my way Look my way

ITS BOTH OF THEM . THEY DONT KNOW IT BUT ITS BOTH OF THEM . BOTH OF THEM ARE STANDING BACK TO BACK PRAYING HOPING BEGGING THAT THE OTHER LOOKS AT THEM AND THEY DONT KNOW . THEY DONT KNOW THEY DONT KNWO THEY BOTH WANT AND FEEL THE SAME THING THEY DONT KNOW THEY BOT H CARE THEY THINK THEIR ALONE THEY THINK THIS ISA SOLO SONG BUT ITS NOT ITS A FUCKING DUET THEYRE TOGEHTER THEY ARE IN LOVE AND THEY CAREEEEEE

i am normal . and have so many of my own little thoughts on these little guys' mental states and internal thoughts of their own . i shake them . i pick them up and i shake them so much . ARARARARWARWRRADWRYJEHFGAKJB . normal

*okay the difference between those two verses

I can give you everything you need // I'll give you everything you need Or do you want to hear me plead? // What more is there? What more to plead? Just look my way, just look my way // Just look my way, just look my way Is there something more that I don't know // What can there be that I don't know? That you won't say 'til we've both grown cold? // Will you never tell or be so bold? Just say, "Please stay" // Just say, "please stay" Look my way // Look my way

okay so the certainty in the first of centross' and the . sort of . what more can i do.

the undertones of the first two of icarus' they're offerning themself up in a way . i can give you myself, my body, my skills, everything .

in centross' . the mention of boldness . the confidence . and the "will you never tell" will you never be able to tell what family means . the difference between healthy and not so much . will you ever have the courage to admit it?

there are so many different ways this could be looked at but . i was in the car for like an hour today and i was sat and i was cooking

okay this is it i am done for now i go ararararararararara

Just Look My Way (Stolas' lament) - PARANOiD DJ

consider . TDOY prison duo

Ooooooh, ok, ok, I see it. This can be interpreted *several* different ways for these two. I’m intrigued what your interpretation/analysis is, if you’d want to share /nf

#they are important to my mental health #thinking about them makes me happier and sadder simultaneously #cries #explodeses

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