#all these guys are really neet
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@goldpilot22 @sinha-ri @hiirenvirna @notmusa @totally-not-an-awkward-okapi and artfight user baykit
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SV AU where Shen Yuan transmigrates into a dragon.
It's not so bad, at first. He's an extremely magical sort of dragon so he can easily take on a humanoid shape, and he has dominion over an entire mountain, with a magical gate that leads to his palace. Said palace has a fully stocked treasury, a library, garden, etc, with the only real downsides being that the place is kind of huge and very difficult for a neet with limited housekeeping or landscaping skills to keep up with. The original dragon had enslaved a bunch of fairy spirits to do it for him, but since Shen Yuan has moral objections to that, he'd let them all go and they'd run off before he could even think to offer to hire any of them as paid employees instead. Not that he can blame them for being in a hurry to get gone.
He does his best, and generally enjoys being a dragon lazing on his mountain, or wandering the beauty of his palace and investigating the books and scrolls kept there. He doesn't actually seem to need to eat or drink, so that's not really an issue, and nobody looks keen to bother him. But after a few months the dust starts to really pile up, and trying to figure out how to do his own laundry without modern equipment leads to several disasters, and even though he doesn't need to eat he's starting to think it would be quite nice to have a fancy sit-down dinner and enjoy it for its own sake anyway. He has an enchanted larder but his food prep skills aren't up to much.
So, Shen Yuan ventures away from his mountain. He keeps to his human disguise when he's not traveling, and at first tries to hire on some help from a nearby city. But when he explains that he lives on the mountain, he realizes the difficulty, because everyone in the area knows that only the dragon lives there. So they all think he's either a liar or a fraud, or some servant of a nefarious supernatural creature angling to trick and possibly devour them.
Shen Yuan tries approaching another town in his dragon form, to see if anyone will actually deal with him if he's being upfront and honest about the situation, but the townspeople just panic. He returns to his mountain to rethink his strategies, and in the meanwhile the alarmed locals hire a swordsman to go after him. The guy gives him a few very painful cuts before Shen Yuan mostly-accidentally sends him careening into a boulder. One broken arm later the swordsman is gently persuaded that the pay he was offered isn't worth the effort on this job, and leaves.
Discouraged, Shen Yuan decides he's gonna give this one last try. He picks the second closest city, flies up, and is like yes hello, yes I am indeed a dragon, no I'm not trying to burn down your walls, yes it would be excellent if you stopped shooting arrows at me, look they don't even get past the scales? It's kind of silly? Okay, yes, thank you very much. Good. Now, the thing is, I'm looking for some people. I want to take them back to my mountain with me, to my incredibly nice palace, and -- what was that? A princess? No no I don't want a princess, what would I even do with one? If anything I'm looking for the complete opposite of a princess!
Anyway, the locals take this to mean that the dragon is demanding a sacrifice in the form of a pretty boy of no particular pedigree, and Shen Yuan takes this to mean that he's finally made his case clear and they're going to dig up someone who is willing to overlook his being a dragon in exchange for free room and board and fair wages out of his massive treasury.
SY's a bit disheartened when the entire city could only apparently turn up one such person -- an underfed teenage boy who looks at Shen Yuan like, despite the situation, he is still expecting to be eaten at any moment. Poor thing! But at least having one servant means he can potentially get more, especially if it all goes well. The lad can tell others that working for a dragon isn't so bad! Well, provided that he doesn't give up in alarm at the state of the mountain palace.
For his part, Luo Binghe at first thinks he's definitely going to get eaten, and then that this dragon is weirdly nice about planning to eat him, and then that maybe the dragon has other (even less savory!) plans for him, until finally he sees the state of the dragon's laundry and the foot-thick layer of dust in the corners, and gets completely distracted. Mortal terror forgotten, those floors should not be that filthy, Lord Dragon respectfully that isn't how anyone should prepare rice either, but oh Binghe has never seen a kitchen so nice before in his life...!
Anyway, needless to say, it works out just fine.
#svsss#scum villain's self saving system#scum villain#bingqiu#this is luo binghe's palace now shen qingqiu just lives there#the only hiccup is that binghe is strangely bad at convincing anyone else to come work at the palace#shen qingqiu encouraged him to assist in finding other help but somehow binghe always comes up empty handed#oh well guess they'll have to continue living there just the two of them with no one else#(this eventually does change but binghe sulks for WEEKS about it)
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is there anything in the text that says shen yuan was a NEET before he transmigrated, or is that just a headcanon given since there is little to no information about his pretransmigration life? bc like. otherwise i would say biology/ecology major (college student who doesn’t study as much as he should) given the way he nerds out about monsters
As far as I can remember it's heavily implied he was because he says in his previous life he idled away all his time
We can assume he was unemployed (his brothers were set to take care of their business) but i can't speak for education or other responsibility he might have had
However we know that he's an unreliable narrator and downplays his achievements. He says he was "idling away" while running a peak
So it's very possible he was actually doing a lot of work and just. Didn't acknowledge it as work because he's just a nice guy who likes helping people out . We really will never know
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hi i have a request for headcanons :] how would the sextuplets react to an s/o who is objectively a functional member of society (job and/or school, booming social life, well liked, etc) but for some reason simps really hard for them. it can by goofy or not, depends on what you think!
osomatsu san/reader | reader who is a functional member of society who is head over heels for the brothers
A functional member of society in love with a NEET? Oh, what a thought! All of them equally are just as infatuated with you, maybe even more so as you are just shining with confidence and wit. So imagine their surprise when you finally ask them to be your boyfriend! They all react differently so let’s see up close and personal.
Osomatsu: - How are you with him, seriously? Everyone wants to know. - A shitty NEET with such bad habits like gambling and drinking and you looked in his direction? He’s just as shocked as everyone else to be honest. - Although, he’s not complaining one bit. - Proudly parades you around in front of his brothers, like damn he might as well have won the lottery. - Oh, they are so jealous by the way. - At first, he doesn’t really change besides that but a little bit into your relationship, he starts making small changes and working up to the big ones. - At first, it’s picking up after himself and doing more chores around the house, then it’s actually looking for jobs and talking about moving out one day. - Soon enough, he ends up doing just that and moves in with you, even holding a job and stops complaining about it all the time. - He’s trying, for you, and that is a lot coming from him.
Karamatsu: - Oh, be prepared anon. - This man will make it known that he is just as much in love with you back. - Things like surprise flowers and gifts show up at your work’s front desk, only the best for his Karamatrsu darling! - “Oh my darling flower, it makes my heart palpitate just to know how much you adore me!” - Of course, you are eating up every cheesy line and equally spoiling him despite his surprise when you do so, despite still living with his mother he’s not used to being spoiled like this. - Like you swear you saw tears when you gave him a gift on your first date, and it was something so simple too. A guitar pick with yours and his initials on it. He swears to use it all the time, and he does, especially when he serenades to you. He even started to freak out when the image on it started to fade. - At first, he refuses to let you pay for things even though you have a job and he doesn’t. After a few high-priced dates, he finally lets you help with the costs and even slightly enjoys being spoiled by you. - To still help out and spoil you, he even starts working at a nearby clothing store. - Your love is so annoying to everyone around you but the both of you don’t care, not one bit.
Choromatsu: - To his non-existent calculations, you two should NOT be a thing, but he doesn’t care at this point. - He’s also kinda jealous of you? Like you’re everything he wants to be but he quickly gets over that once you ask him out. - At the beginning of your relationship, he is constantly stuttering and sweating from his nerves but he’s over the moon about finally dating you, he always has his signature smile on his face. - When you start holding hands, you can physically feel his whole body shake just from your palm against his. - Of course, you are no better as you are in LOVE with this man. - You’re both a couple who are head over heels for one another and very much show it instead of saying it. - It took you guys weeks just to say ‘I love you’ which ended in you running away with your hands covering your face and Choromastu shouting to the night sky of how he was in love. - He also starts to become a functional member of society (with your help and motivation). - Soon enough, he’s living with you and has a job of his own, and surprisingly to him he couldn’t be happier getting out of the NEET lifestyle he was in for so long.
Ichimatsu: - He can barely believe it himself, how could someone like you be in love with him? - You were a knockout, a functional member of society and he was just a shitty NEET, a nobody who no one wants. You must be fucking around with him. - And he really thinks that at first, it takes a bit of persuasion for him to believe you are actually infatuated with him. - On your first date, he would sit tables away from you as you drank a milkshake. His face turned bright red as he tried to sip from four tables away with a long straw. - You would simply smile at him, telling him it’s ok to get closer and that you were truly interested in dating him. - Soon enough, you two were doing regular couple stuff like holding hands and regularly going on dates. - As you both get further into the relationship you notice he starts to really change things, Ichimatsu even gets a job at a local cat cafe. - Soon enough, he’s living with you and holding down a job he actually enjoys (although interacting with people still irks him). - Although, when you first asked him to spend the night at your house, he spontaneously combusted right on the bench.
Jyushimatsu: - Oh ho ho! This man is ecstatic! - His brothers swear that he’s been faster with his batting swing when you both start dating. - It’s like he has a new form of motivation when practicing baseball, running faster, swinging harder and throwing farther all at the same time. - He also seems happier than usual (somehow) , his smile widening whenever he sees you and your wonderful face. - Will point you out to his brothers whenever he sees you, like he’s bragging or something. “Ha ha look, it’s my partner! Do you see them, huh? Huh?” - He also starts working as well, hoping to start working as a baseball player in the future. - With your help, he eventually works up to that point and starts playing in local leagues!
Todomatsu: - Oh he’s the most smug out of all of them. - Of course, he has no idea why you looked in his direction but he’s so glad you did. - When you told him you were in love with him, he dropped his coffee you two had gotten minutes prior. Of course, he spilled it all over you and profusely apologized about it while helping to clean you up. - Luckily, it was iced so it didn’t burn or anything so you simply just smiled and told him he was fine and it was ok. - Totally rubs it in his brother's faces, just like Oso and Jyushi but he’s more of a bitch about it. - “Oh would you look at that, I have a partner now who’s actually interested in me. Score one for the youngest!” - He actually got a scoreboard for it too, the bastard. - He eventually goes back to Sutabaa, working the same position he did before. - He’s officially out of NEET status when he moves in with you and he’s so happy about it as he went up a level as a human once more!
#ask#osomatsu san#mr osomatsu#osomatsu san x reader#mr osomatsu x reader#osomatsu san headcanons#osomatsu san imagines#osomatsu x reader#karamatsu x reader#choromatsu x reader#ichimatsu x reader#jyushimatsu x reader#todomatsu x reader#osomatsu matsuno#karamatsu matsuno#choromatsu matsuno#ichimatsu matsuno#jyushimatsu matsuno#todomatsu matsuno
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juno
bf! minho x fem! reader: you have baby fever. your boyfriend wants to be with you forever. turns out you can kill 2 birds with 1 stone
genre: fluff, crack, suggestive (MDNI, explicit dialogue)
word count: 3.3k
warnings/tags: pregnancy scare, jokes about a breeding kink, marriage proposal, y/n is a little spoiled i gotta admit, this one is all over the place ya'll
a/n: minho's fic in my album series! this one is based on "juno". y/n is a LOT in this one but i found it way more fun and fitting to the song to write her that way rather than actually being down to earth and reasonable lol
You’re out at a mall with your friend Jia, having a lazy day shopping and eating overpriced food from the shops in the central plaza. It's been a while since you had time to bum around with her, and your boyfriend, Minho, had said he'd drive you there and take care of his own errands while he waited. He'd even handed you his second credit card and told you to get whatever you wanted, much to Jia's amusement. You wish you were more put off by him flaunting his money, but unfortunately you passed that point long ago. It's also due to the fact that his money is much appreciated at this point in your life. Currently, you’re a bit of a NEET; after you had to quit your last job, you’ve been doing little except sitting at home, attempting TikTok recipes, doing housework and fantasizing about having things like hobbies and life goals aside from marrying your boyfriend.
“That’s nothing new for you, though,” your friend Jia says. “You inherited the suburban princess aesthetic from your mother.”
“You say that as if we weren't raised on the same street” you say, words thick around the spoon of froyo in your mouth. “We’re both suburban princesses.”
Your eyes roam around the mall, people watching as you often do. Next to the frozen yogurt place you had just visited, there is a mother with her small toddler at the counter. The mother is stylishly dressed, in cute jeans and a red sweater, and her daughter matches perfectly in a tiny little red turtleneck and a corduroy pinafore press. She’s wearing little charms in her hair and has a backpack with a bunch of dangly charms that jingle as she fidgets. She is eyeing the froyo on the counter with big eyes as she waits for her mother to pay for it, ever so patient and polite. The cashier waves at her and the toddler waves back.
“Stopppp, look at them. Isn’t that girl so cute?”
Jia follows your eyeline to the mother and daughter at the froyo counter.
“She is. I love how her and mom are matching.”
“I can’t wait to have a little mini-me that I can wear matching outfits with.”
“You and I wear matching outfits all the time.”
“Yes, but I want to do it with someone cute.”
Jia’s eyes roll so hard that you know it must’ve hurt.
“Since when do you want kids, y/n?”
“Since always. Or I don’t know. Maybe I just was worried that it would be difficult? Or that I’d never find the right guy? But I think Minho would be a good father, so it’s kind of made me think about it again.”
“He seems like he’d be good with kids.”
“When we babysit my nephew, he’s really good with him. And he’s always been so attentive to me in everything, so I just know he would double down during pregnancy. He’d take bullets for me. He’d protect me, he’d bring me all my favorite foods he’d take care of me-”
“He really should be doing that all the time, not just when you’re pregnant. Like, what kind of cavewoman logic is this? Are you in heat or something?”
You take another bite of your froyo and savor it.
You’ve known Jia forever, and at this point her comments to you about your love life just go in one ear and out the other. She’s the one who introduced you to Minho, actually, so you’d thought maybe she’d spare you the lectures, but she seems to think your impulsivity would overrule Minho’s common sense. This isn’t you being impulsive, though. You’ve actually thought about it an embarrassing amount- the concept of Minho fathering your children. It’s not just some passing fancy.
When you’re thoroughly done enjoying your vanilla-passion fruit swirl, you deign to answer her.
“First of all, shut the fuck up. Second of all, no I’m not in heat. Is it so wrong to dream of motherhood? To yearn for something to care for?”
“You have three cats and seven potted plants.”
“I mean something that can love me back.”
“I’m telling Dori you said that.”
You ignore her, already lost in your little domestic fantasy. You could already imagine it. You could have a little girl who looked exactly like you. Or maybe just like you with Minho’s pretty eyes. You’ll develop all the “mom skills”, like sewing and kissing boo-boos and making baking soda volcanoes. And Minho would be there, giving her piggyback rides and pushing her on swing sets. He’d call both of you his “princesses” and you could take cute family photos for Christmas and mail them all your relatives. A perfect domestic life.
“Hello? Earth to y/n?”
You blink. Jia is looking at you with an exasperated expression.
“I’d ask you what you’re thinking about, but I already know.”
“Oh, really.”
“You only get that stupid expression on your face when you think about Minho.” Jia crumples up her trash and reaches behind her to throw it in a trash can. “Does he know you are having delusions of domesticity?”
“It’s not delusional. We’ve been together for like two years. We’ve talked about the future.”
“So he wants kids?”
“He wants whatever I want,” you say, and you can hear the lovesickness in your voice even before Jia lets out a long-suffering sigh.
“Go ask him to get you pregnant right now then. He seems like the type to think that’s really hot.”
“Everything I do is hot. I’m a catch. I’d look extra hot pregnant. Working so hard even when I’m just sitting around all day.”
“Your favorite activity.”
You wink cheekily. “Of course. You should give it a try sometime.”
“Give what a try?”
A familiar voice from behind you makes you perk up. You whip around to see your boyfriend in the flesh, coming up behind you. He’s finally arrived. His presence improves your mood by approximately one thousand percent. You can sit up straighter and breathe deeper. The sun shines brighter on your face. His pace is so leisurely that it’s driving you mad. You want to stand up and drag him closer to you, so that as much of you is touching you as possible. The meter between you feels like a nautical mile.
Christ, maybe you are in heat. You think it’s possible you’ve been permanently ovulating since you met Minho. Just seeing him coming has you contemplating breaking several civil laws.
Jia rats you out immediately. “We’re talking about pregnancy.”
“Oh.” Minho stops where he is, as if blocked by an invisible wall. “Is someone you know expecting?”
“Not yet,” Jia says.
“Jia,” you hiss.
Jia ignores you, revenge for forcing her to listen to you for the past half hour.
“Y/n thinks that pregnancy suits her lifestyle. She thinks she’d look hot pregnant. What’s your opinion on the topic?”
“Don’t answer that,” you tell him. “Jia, come on.”
Jia shrugs. “I don’t think it’s that crazy of a question. Your boyfriend should think you look hot all the time.”
“And I do,” Minho interjects, smiling slyly. “Especially right now, as you’re staring daggers at me.”
Jia leans up and stage whispers to Minho, eyes still trained on you. “She specifically said ‘extra hot’, just so you know.”
“I struggle to think she could get any hotter,” Minho says in answering stage whisper. “She’d look equally pretty frozen solid, or zombified.”
“You know the saying is ‘until death do us part?’ You don’t have to keep loving her as a zombie.”
You try to be annoyed but you’re too busy cheesing for it to have any effect. “Okay haha fun’s over. Take me home now.”
Jia boos you as Minho grabs your hand to help you off the bench.
“As you wish,” he says, and kisses your hand with a flourish.
“I’ve gotta get going too. See you later, y/n.” She stands up and grabs her bag, then pauses and turns back. “If you’re pregnant the next time I see you, I will kill you.”
“You seriously give me no credit.”
Jia gives you an absolutely withering look and walks off.
“I shouldn’t have even brought it up,” you say mournfully. “She’s gonna start keeping tabs on me.”
“We’ll lock our doors and windows,” Minho says, and presses a kiss to your hair. “Home?”
Later that night, you’re lying on the couch searching up pictures of baby clothes. You have an entire Pinterest board for your future baby, and today’s scene at the park has inspired you to add to the collection. You scroll through little images of kids in duck outfits and Hello Kitty themed socks, of cute little barrettes to put in their wispy bangs. Your kids are going to be so well-dressed. They’ll make the other toddlers at the daycare jealous, and maybe even the moms too.
That’s good, though. It’s important to learn how to deal with adversity from a young age.
Your daughter is gonna be so well socialized and assertive and thick-skinned, just like her parents. She’ll get such good grades and be very polite. And you’ll get to show up to parent teacher conferences as the hottest mom in the entire class, which will be good for your ego, and then you can pass that confidence down to your child. It’ll be perfect. Your life will be perfect. You can see it in such clear and vivid detail.
Minho passes by you on the way back from the bathroom and glances down at your phone.
“Baby clothes?”
You blink up at him. You’re not embarrassed at being caught, but you are a little annoyed that he’s interrupted your daydreaming with one of his gateway questions.
“Yes. Our future child has to be up on fashion trends.”
“The fashion trends will have changed by the time you have a baby to dress up.”
To your own surprise, your heart actually stutters with the reminder that you are currently not, in fact, with child.
“Don’t remind me,” you whine, rolling over to hide your face in the cushions. “Jia already lectured me today.”
“Lectured?”
You partially roll back over to look up at him. “She says that I’m being delusional for wanting a baby so badly.”
“How is wanting to be a mother delusional?”
“Right? And I told her like what are you talking about, we’ve already talked about the future, and we’re gonna have kids, and she just gave me this look.”
“Jia’s just looking out for you. She doesn’t want you to rush into things.”
“Jia is a cynic and a skeptic. She thinks we’re too young to have a baby.”
“Well, aren’t we?”
“Are we?” Your visions of being a MILF dance through your head. “I think having kids young would be cute.”
Now Minho looks skeptical. “Really? Since when.”
“Since I had a paradigm shift. I always knew I wanted them, in a vague sense. But now I know that I want to have them with you, specifically, so it’s been on my mind a lot more.”
“You want to have my kids?”
You bristle. “Well they’d be my kids, too, y’know.”
“I know that-”
“And who else’s kids would they be? Do you envision us breaking up?”
“Absolutely not,” Minho says. “You’re stuck with me forever.”
“Right. So then eventually I’ll be having your kids. I mean, if that’s okay with you.”
Minho sits down next to you on the couch. “That’s really what you want?”
“Yes?” A single pang of doubt flashes across your chest. “Do you not want that?”
“No, I do, baby. I’d love to have a family with you. I just want to be sure we’re on the same page, and we’ve thought it through.”
“Well, like you said, we’re still young.” Jia’s admonishment of not being married flashes through your mind. “But sometimes I see little kids in public, or on TV, and I think, God, I want a baby so bad. Y’know? I want to be pregnant. I want to glow like that, and everything.”
Something complicated passes over his face. A lightbulb goes off in your head. It’s the same expression that he had when Jia had mentioned to him the topic of your conversation.
“Oh my god. You actually do think I’d look hot pregnant.”
“Didn’t I say that at the mall?”
“No, you were teasing me. But now you’re being for real. You want to knock me up.”
Minho says nothing, but the tips of his ears redden. You shoot upright, delighted at the turn of events.
“Oh my god, you actually want to knock me up!”
“Would you rather I didn’t?”
“No! Of course not. I want to be the only girl you want, and I want you to want me in every way.”
“Well you are, and I do,” he says flatly. “Congratulations.”
“Congratulations is right,” you say. You’re giddy with energy. “Have you thought about it a bunch? Is that why you wanted me on the pill? So you could cum in me and indulge your breeding kink?”
“I don’t have a breeding kink.I just love you. There’s a difference.”
“You’ve said at least five times today you think I’d be hot while I’m pregnant,” you remind him. “Seems kind of breeding kink-ish to me.”
“You have spent the entire day fantasizing about having my kids. That’s the definition of a breeding kink.” Minho leans further into your space, and though his words are teasing, his tone is decidedly not. You feel heat start to run through you, and not from embarrassment. You scoot closer to him, pulled by magnetic forces beyond your comprehension.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just life planning. I’m making vision boards.” The lie is so flimsy your lips trip as you try to say it.
“Uh-huh. Right. Because you normally start breathing heavy when you make vision boards.”
“This is unfair. Of course I’ll get turned on when you start talking like this.”
“Like what?” he says, leaning even closer. You can feel his breath on your face, and a shiver goes down your spine.
“Like you’re going to fucking breed me.”
His smile is absolutely feline. “That can be arranged.”
“Is that what you want?”
“Baby, I want whatever you want.”
You grab onto his shoulders, tight. “Then take me to bed, hot stuff.”
His eyes darken. A hand comes up to your face, and he kisses you gently. He grabs you by the hand…
and of course, he gives you what you want.
Your period is a week late.
It’s actually Minho who notices and points it out, which causes you to freak out and call Jia, who freaks out worse than you and demands that you go to the store immediately and buy a test. You get three different brands, and also an entire chocolate cake which will either be for congratulations or for emotional support.
Minho waits outside the bathroom door, an encouraging presence as you try to calm yourself down enough to read the labels.
“Whatever happens, I’m here,” he tells you. You can’t tell whether he wants it to be positive or negative. You aren’t even sure what you want. Yes, you want a baby, yes, babymaking sex is hot and you want to keep having it whether it gets you knocked up or not, but you’re both still young, and he has a career, and your apartment doesn’t have a third bedroom so there’d be nowhere for the nursery that you’ve already meticulously planned out in your mind-
The timer goes off. You open your eyes and look down.
“Negative,” you say, loud enough for Minho to hear outside the door. “All of them.”
Minho doesn’t say anything. You let out a deep breath, tension falling out of you, and open the door. Minho is on the other side, expression cautious.
“Is it bad that I’m a little disappointed?” he says, and his tone is joking but the words stick in your chest because you agree. The relief you expected to feel is nowhere to be found.
“I hope not, because that makes two of us.”
He draws you into a hug, and you sink into him, processing all the events of the last hour.
“And I was all ready to start building a crib.”
You snort. “Picking up carpentry as a hobby?”
“A real father should work with their hands. I need thick, callused hands to hold my baby with, so they feel smaller and daintier by comparison.”
“Wild thing to say, honestly.”
“It works on you.”
You break free and shove him playfully. “You’re ridiculous. You’d be a good father even with your soft city boy hands.”
“You think so?” he says, his tone heavier than before. You don’t even hesitate.
“Yes. Any child would be lucky to have you as a father.” You sigh dramatically. “Unfortunately it seems my uterus didn’t pull through this time.”
Minho is silent for a moment. “Well. We could…try again.”
You stare at him. “Sorry?”
“I mean, you said I’d be a good father. You said you wished the test was positive. I want that too. Just because it didn’t work this time doesn’t mean that-”
“Wait. Wait wait wait wait. Are you serious?” You’re gob smacked. You can’t believe that your usually cautious boyfriend is proposing you have a baby right now.
“I’m serious,” he confirms. “You’d be such a good mom. And I know how much you want this.”
“And you think I’d look hot pregnant.”
“Obviously,” he says, without a hint of jest.
“But I’m- we’re so young, and I’m unemployed, and-”
“Sorry, were you planning on getting a job any time soon?”
Your cheeks heat up. “Oh shut up.”
“No, it’s perfect. You can be a loving stay-at-home mom. I’ll be the breadwinner.”
“Stop it. Stop talking this way. You’re- do you know how pissed my friends would be? What would I tell Jia? She almost bit my head off over the phone earlier, did you hear her? She was so pissed that I was thinking of motherhood instead of marriage-”
“Then let’s get married.”
“Don’t start.”
“Y/n, I’m not joking.”
You actually think you’re going to faint. Your heart is racing and you’re breaking out in a sweat. Is it hot in here? Did you forget to pay the AC bill this month?”
“Are you proposing to me right now?” You’re trying to joke but you’re breathless. “You’re proposing to me as a gimmick to get me to bear your children?”
Minho cringes. “Saying it like that makes me sound manipulative.”
“It’s kinda manipulative.”
“You’re the one who said you wanted to be married before having kids. And I want to do both of those things with you eventually, so why not now?”
Your vision is blurring. For a moment you worry you actually are fainting, but then you realize that you’re crying instead.
“Stop playing with me, Minho, I’m so serious.”
“I’m not playing with you. I actually already bought a ring, but I didn’t know if the timing was right. Like you said, we’re young, and I didn’t know how you felt about getting married so soon. So I thought I’d ask eventually but-”
You lunge forward and kiss him. If you’d felt stressed earlier while taking the test, that’s nothing compared to the depth of emotion you’re feeling now as you hold each other. It’s like joy is filling you up so much that you don’t know where your body behind and ends.
When you finally separate, Minho asks,
“Is that a yes?”
“You’re not proposing to me in our living room,” you tell him. “You have to ask me again. Later. Don’t even show me the ring. Wait, what color is it? You know I only wear gold.”
“You think I’d forget something like that? I’m going to be your husband. I know what jewelry you wear.”
If he wasn’t holding you up, you think you’d actually collapse to the ground from the way you absolutely swoon.
“Propose to me again and I’ll say yes. Right now, I need you to put a baby in me.”
“You want to walk down the aisle pregnant? Your dream wedding dress has a corset.”
“Oh my god, we’ll do it before I start showing, just fuck me, please!”
Minho doesn’t make you ask a third time.
#skz x reader#skz x you#skz imagines#lee know x reader#lee know x you#lee know imagines#another one under posts that are only funny to me lmfaoooo but this was SO fun to write#short n sweet album series
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✿MY LOVE✿| BSD
Genre:Fluff,parenting,crack,GN!READER Warnings:Children,babies,not proofread,may be ooc,Let me know if there's any warning I missed! Featuring:Chuuya Nakahara, Edgar Allan Poe, Gin Akutagawa, Doppo Kunikida Note:My next headcanon post after this might come out pretty damn late, I've been a neet for 3 years and I'm being forced to get a job and get a drivers permit so it'll take awhile
🍷When you mentioned wanting to have kids while the two of you were watching a movie together cuddled up on the couch together while drinking wine nearly made him choke on his wine. You two had a good hour long conversation on the topic of kids.
🍷After waiting some time for Chuuya to be mentally prepared for the responsibilities that come with being a parent, he brought up the topic again. That's how you ended up becoming parents.
🍷When they were still a baby it was common to see Chuuya sitting on the playmat with them humoring the infants nonsense and making sure they didn't swallow anything that could kill them.
🍷Whenever the baby would cry in the middle of the night Chuuya always would insist that you stay in bed while he goes to check. 20 minutes would pass and you'd see Chuuya in the rocking chair of the nursery, baby in his arms, fast asleep.
🍷Will take so much pride if the baby says their first words in his presence. It doesn't need to be dada or anything any word and he has the most stupid smile you've ever seen on his face.
🍷Makes sure you and the baby are safe at all costs, the apartment is COMPLETELY baby proof, Chuuya is even mildly offended if you say he's doing too much.
🍷You don't know that Chuuya has a entire folder on his phone dedicated to you and the baby, you don't that these photos were even taken since they were all taken when you preoccupied with the baby like when you're giving them a bath or you building a sand castle with them at the beach, of course he has photos of the two most important people in his life.
🍷Chuuya was sadly….out on business when they took their first steps, when you two video called that night per routine you told him and Chuuya felt like shit for not being there for it….then there was the baby hitting the screen of your phone not quite understanding why Chuuya is inside a rectangle.
🍷When Chuuya returned the first thing he needed was to see his baby and when you placed the baby on the ground and he saw his baby waddle towards him, he wanted to cry, but he didn't it just holding his baby once they reached him.
🍷You are required to send him photos whenever you and the baby are doing something and he can't be there. Send him that photo of the baby on the swing set, send him the photo of the baby flipping through those baby books, send it!!!
🍷He has photos of all three of you together in his wallet. There's nothing he loves more.
🍷Was originally strongly against diaper duty but now takes it upon himself to do it.
🍷Reads all the ingredients used on the back of the baby food and makes sure nothing in the baby bottles you guys buy has any remotely harmful chemicals. He can't lose this one thing.
🍷And a baby grows into a child.
🍷Whenever he's scolding your child for doing something bad and he gets too frustrated he'll have you take the reigns since he wants to avoid taking his anger out on his child.
🍷Chuuya might not be around often due to his uh…position at work but once his kid starts developing interests he keeps those intact. His child into animals? Taking them to the zoo next week. His kid into sports? Signing them up for baseball as soon as possible.
🍷Whenever Chuuya feels like he missed out on something due to work he'll lay next to you in bed and ask you if he's a bad dad while just looking at the ceiling.
🍷Chuuya is the dad that his kid has no memory of ever seeing him cry when they get older. Mostly because he only really cries by himself and occasionally in your arms in bed.
🍷Has scared off multiple people he thinks were getting too close to his kid.
🍷You have a photo of a completely unbothered Chuuya sitting on the couch reading as your kid is practically climbing him with their blanket as a make shift cape.
🍷Chuuya is always there for whenever you need some you time and just need a break and is completely understanding. He'll take you out for a nice relaxing night out as a close friend of yours watches over your kid granted Chuuya was very hesitant to leave your kid. Not a single hair on their head will be hurt without someone dying.
🍷Whenever your kid comes home from school having a bad day they know they can tell Chuuya as he will hold them close and rub their back and whisper reassuring words as he listens.
🍷When the two of you got called by the school only you could go and pick up your kid since Chuuya was busy doing stuff. Your child got into a fight on the playground is what you told Chuuya when you got home and seeing him washing his hands of…stuff in the kitchen sink, Chuuya was proud of his kid, not for fighting that's bad, but for winning said fight.
🍷 “Did they win?”
🍷 “Not the point Chuuya.”
🍷 “I know but-”
🍷Will sit down and talk to them as to why fighting is wrong and why they shouldn't do it unless absolutely necessary his job doesn't count.
🍷Always tries his best to get your kid the best gift on their birthday. It's like a competition for you two just without any stakes.
🍷Chuuya puts your kid into private school for their entire life, only wanting the very best for your kid.
🍷You could be busy sitting with your kid helping them with their math homework at the dining table and you'll suddenly feel a pair of lips on your cheek. Chuuya returning from a uh…business trip earlier than expected and surprising the both of you!
🍷Chuuya will take a mental photo whenever he sees you and your child sleeping because your child was scared of the thunderstorm outside and wanted to sleep with you two. Seeing the way your child is curled up into your chest and you snoring away is a sight he'll cherish. He loves you two so much.
🦝When you mentioned kids to Poe you had to catch him when he fainted…..it took him quite awhile to warm up to the idea of kids mostly because he's worries if he'll be a good father, he was on board with kids after alot of time but you didn't mind, kids are alot of work and fragile so of course he's hesitant.
🦝The way it was brought up was when he cooking dinner and you were just getting home from work, he had been building up the courage all day so when he heard that front door open he yelled from the kitchen that he was ready for kids…you hadn't even taken off your shoes yet, when you entered the kitchen and asked him to repeat himself because what the fuck was that he was so embarrassed from how he mentioned the topic back up that he refused to even look at you.
🦝Poe had to be taught by you on how to hold a baby and when he looked down into his arms and he saw the warm, squishy, soft, mini human in the fluffy blanket he let out tears of joy, you couldn't really tell though since how hysterically he was crying.
🦝Despite him originally being WAY more opposed to having kids than you were he knows way more about babies than you, having read only the finest books on babies and honestly might mansplain at you about your baby.
🦝Should you leave your baby with a racoon?probably not but when you and Poe both are trying to figure out what's wrong with the bathroom sink there's Karl in the doorway giving your baby a bottle. You're so glad you got a picture of that.
🦝The first time Ranpo came face to face with your baby was when he was going to leech off you two again by crashing at your guy's place and when Poe opened the door he immediately noticed the baby crying in your arms trying to calm them down. Ranpo pushed past Poe just to poke. Poke at your baby and they stopped???
🦝Poe goes to those mommy support groups and it's honestly surreal to see him at the park with all his mom friends talking about their pediatricians.
🦝Whenever Poe makes a mistake like being too loud infront of the baby it keeps him up at night and him muttering about how your baby is going to cut him off as soon as possible and you have to put a stop to this thinking.
🦝Has a photo album dedicated to your baby's growth.
🦝Despite them being a baby and not being able to understand what's being said to them yet Poe reads them bed time stories.
🦝You were playing in the snow with your baby while Poe was inside working on his novel when they said their first words and you rushed inside, baby in arms, to get them repeat their words to Poe and when they do Poe snatched them from your arms and showered their face in so many kisses.
🦝The two of you turned your back from the baby for two seconds while adding a new wall decoration to the nursery when you guys hear Karl make a ear piercing squeal and when you two whipped around the last thing you two expected to see was your baby standing on Karl's tail- wait what. The moment was quickly over when your baby fell back on their bum and cried from how loud Karl was. The two of you were so happy for their first steps less happy about all the yelling but this'll be a fond memory in the future.
🦝Babyhood to childhood.
🦝Hes kind of a push over, if his child begs enough he will buy them whatever they want its usually up to you or Karl to slap some sense into him Karl in a more literal sense to make sure they don't grow up spoiled.
🦝Ranpo ends up being the uncle to sneak candy or a dollar to your kid whenever he sees them to which you scold him and your child. Considering how often Ranpo freeloads off you and Poe he might as well be another child.
🦝Poe is still in contact with the moms from his mom-baby classes and takes your child to play dates with the other moms children.
🦝On his desk are photos of your child on their birthday and a photo of you and him on your wedding day.
🦝Ranpo and Karl are a surprisingly good babysitting duo whenever you and Poe just want a night to yourselves because believe it or not having to make sure a fun sized human with the survival skills of a cabbage doesn't die can be stressful though you and Poe never find out all the hijinks that happen on those nights cause Ranpo bribes your kid to not say anything about the three of them getting lost in a city one hour from your home.
🦝He reads as many books and observes how you handle things whenever it comes to having to disciplining your child so that he can feel like a actually good parent, he looks up to you so much you don't even know.
🦝He still showers your child's face with kisses even if they do start getting embarrassed by it.
🦝He has taken it upon himself to homeschool your child, changing his schedule for his child, being very hands on like taking your kid outside for science lessons :)
🦝One time when Poe was busy writing he walked out his office to see you covered in scratches, you got them when you tried to get Karl to match clothes with your kid. Poe tended to your scratches.
🦝The horror that appeared on both your faces when you two noticed your child was in the bathroom for a weird amount of time so you guys went to check and they were cutting their own hair. Rest of their childhood from then on they had short hair.
🦝Multiple bags filled with clothes that your kid has grown out of that Poe refuses to get rid. Just reminds him of how tiny they used to be.
🦝Poe got into the habit of eating baby food when your kid was still a baby and only recently has stopped.
🦝Immediately hugged your child when they fell off their bike for the first time while learning.
🦝Poe likes answering questions about basic things that your child asks like why is the fridge light only on when you open it? Why can't he play right now? He just finds these questions about simple things that any adult understands amusing.
🦝Poe's heart gets all mushy whenever he sees you tucking your child in. He has it all.
🔪When you mentioned children to Gin while the two of you were making dinner together she froze in place, tears began to poke out of her eyes and it wasn't because of the onions she was cutting, she needed space and time to think it over and so you stepped back.
🔪You were suprised when months after you initially asked the question she gave a answer to your question while the two of you were on a ice skating date. You completely forgot about it so when she told you she thinks ready you were really confused. You aren't confused anymore now that you two are parents.
🔪You'll come home to a eerily silent house and just witness Gin sitting on the living room floor just watching your baby.
🔪Gin triple checks to make sure the car seat is secure before driving.
🔪Ryuunosuke has affections for your baby, after all their family and will protect them with his life, but has he ever supported the weight of the baby in his own two arms? Absolutely not. The closest he's got to holding them was using rashomon to take them when you forcibly handed the baby to him while you scrambled to turn the stove off after you realized you left it on and even them he put the baby on the ground next to him immediately.
🔪She is aware that the nature of her job might prevent her from spending time with you two so she always tries to keep things as snappy and clean as possible so she can make it home in time for dinner.
🔪Whenever you tired after taking care of the baby she'll gladly run you a nice bath and wash your back for you.
🔪You two have a entire manual prepared just in case you guys have to leave your baby with Ryuunosuke.
🔪Gin is very hesitant to give the baby any sugar but does feed them sugar every once in awhile for good behavior due to you convincing her.
🔪She gushes over your baby's first words, you were coming back from hanging out with friends and see her gently pinching your baby's cheeks and you don't even get to ask what's up when the baby repeats the word again.
🔪Prides herself in being the best mother ever.
🔪The baby was sleeping in bed with the two of you once and cried seeing Gin sleep with her eyes open. Fun memory years later, Not fun in the moment.
🔪You have a photo of her sleeping on the couch with the baby sleeping in the position as her under her arm, she'll never know you have this photo.
🔪A baby eventually turns into a child.
🔪Gin is the one who styles the kid’s hair.
🔪Has a photo of your kid on the first day of school as her lockscreen.
🔪Your kid is in public school, Gin just wants your kid to have a normal average average childhood.
🔪Takes everything her kid says very seriously, the kid could be talking about the most recent episode of their favorite show and she'll be listening intently.
🔪Please give her a head massage at the end of the day she deserves it considering her job and the kid.
🔪Whenever your kid does something bad Gin calmly sits down and explains why what the did was bad and why they shouldn't do it again ignore her job details .
🔪Your child's playdates just make Gin happy to see her child enjoy something she never did.
🔪If she gets home earlier than expected she'll help your kid with their homework.
🔪Your child has most definitely said “Eewwwww!” seeing you two slow dance together
🔪No one knows about you or your kid's existence. She stays private about it and wants to keep you two safe.
📒He was the one to mention kids to you when the two of you were getting ready for bed, he's financially and mentally ready to have a child are you? He handled the conversation with you with much care and if you ever got overwhelmed during the conversation he'd help calm you down.
📒Kunikida made sure to spend days talking about this subject with you since having a child is a life altering event. And now the life altering event is here.
📒He does those little baby leg exercises every morning before work so that your baby has enough leg strength for when they start walking.
📒Kunikida is not embarrassed to wear a baby carrier.
📒You were caught having one of the babies snacks and Kunikida snatched it away saying it was for the baby not you!
📒Doesn't mention you or the baby unless someone asks and when they do he talk about the two of you with so much pride.
📒When the day with the baby was particularly exhausting Kunikida will cup your face and tell you that you're doing a amazing job and only shower you with praise about how he admires your strength.
📒Kunikida and you were at the park having a picnic as a date together when you got a call from the family member that was baby sitting for the two of you that your baby took their first steps. Kunikida wanted to immediately get up and go see for himself but he didn't, this day was about you two celebrating your anniversary. When you guys went to pick up the baby though Kunikida cried on his knees when he saw the baby stumble on over to you two.
📒You were sitting on the bathroom sink recording Kunikida giving your baby a bath when they decided to say their first words, a shock to the both of you since they were months late to say their first words so the two of you just froze. Then you realized you got it on video and told Kunikida… he just smiled and gave your baby a kiss on the forehead and kept bathing them. This video is cherished.
📒You have all the gifts that Kunikida’s co-workers gave you guys on a shelf, some of them missed the assignment but it's the thought that counts though the crotchet stuffed cat by his co worker ‘Junichiro’ has to your favorite out the bunch.
📒You'll wake up in the middle of the night and realize Kunikida isn't there. Everytime you'll walk into the nursery and see him with the baby having fell asleep in the rocking chair.
📒Kunikida knows that his job requires him to do something life threatening things so he records his voice, talking about anything and everything talking about his schedule, how much he loves you and the baby, his time at work, just incase he doesn't end up coming home.
📒Luckily he made it to your babies childhood he still has voice messages just incase.
📒Instead of tying his kids shoes for them he decided to turn it into a lesson and teach then how to tie their own shoes.
📒Playdates are always held at your home because the other parents no for a fact that their kids are safe.
📒When your kid scraped their knee when they tripped over the pavement Kunikida was the first person on the scene.
📒You have a framed photo of your kid messily braiding Kunikida’s hair.
📒Might embarrass the kid but he doesn't care, his kid is required to bundle up as much as possible during winter.
📒Raising kid can be exhausting, he gets it, so. While your kid is being watched over at a family members house he takes the two of you to a nice planetarium date.
📒Your kid will activately be saying “Gross!” While you cover them in kisses.
📒Kunikida will take off his glasses for 000.1 seconds he'll look back and your kid took them.
📒Your kid cleans their own room and washes their own dishes.
📒…Good chance your kid had to help Ranpo get on the train before.
📒From the way you and your kid walk into the grocery store with blacked out sunglasses they probably thought you two were about to raid the place when in reality your kid just wanted to feel cool while getting their favorite snack.
📒Your kid always feels loved because every night before they close their eyes they see you and Kunikida telling them goodnight before the lights are out.
📒You feel loved. Kunikida doesn't fall asleep until he knows you two are asleep, just a safety thing.
Smoking and drinking beer with If I Die Young by The Band Perry while posting this lol
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd kunikida#bsd fluff#bsd gin#bsd chuuya#bsd edgar allan poe#bsd poe#bungou stray dogs x reader#bsd x reader#bsd imagines#chuuya x reader#kunikida x reader#gin akutagawa x reader#edgar allan poe x reader
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ok no one asked but i did get a few likes + a rb on the post so here's my modern 30s ford
there are some important things to note about ford:
ford would've been born in the 90s
ford would still have been a friendless outcast
ford would still be intelligent and have an interest in the paranormal
there were approximately 45 million people using the internet back in 1996. the chances that the pines wouldn't have internet access at some point while ford was growing up is low. people who are lonely are more likely to use the internet frequently, since that's where they're getting a lot of their social interaction. filbrick would probably promote this, too -- he's focused on success and the internet's booming, he'd probably want his kid to be well-versed on internet stuff. hell, my parents have never been anywhere near filbrick's level, and they felt the same way, which is how i grew up with unrestricted internet access.
this is all to say that ford is -- at least in spirit -- a neet. not even your typical brand of chronically online, this guy regularly uses 4chan (specifically, i could see him liking the /sci/, /x/, and /tg/ boards).
think about it! so much internet shit comes from 4chan, it's inevitable that he'd immerse himself into it if he's online all the damn time and is interested in weird paranormal shit. i imagine stan's grown used to a lot of his 4chan weirdness atp
(to clarify -- this is pre-bill. ford just looks like that because he doesn't spend time taking care of himself. he lives in the basement. which reminds me: canon ford is literally a basement dweller isn't he LMAO)
the stancest implications are staggering, since 4chan is pretty cool with incest, if not outright pro-incest at certain points.
this also creates the hilarious feelings realization moment where stan's panicking, freaking the fuck out because oh my god he has feelings for his twin, while ford -- due to years, possibly a decade+ of 4chan use -- doesn't really gaf LMAO
#stancest#i don't have an actual name for this modern au take i've just been calling it the#neet ford au#idk if he's actually in grad school or not considering that he'd probably end up being very conspiratorial and anti-authority so i'm not#sure if he'd actually trust academic institutions at all#and would probably think any kind of research on the paranormal would be rejected outright
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Round 2, Day 2 - MOONCANCER vs. AVENGER
"…The delivery guy was supposed to be here by now. I really don't wanna go outside and check… the outside world is dangerous… but I guess I'll have to give it my pico-best. So, one glance! Then we return to our hiding place, and never leave again. Zero social interaction, zero eye contact, zero conversation-- alright, let's go!"
She stepped outside, climbing up the basement steps and emerging in an alleyway. She looked around, before catching sight of someone. She pointed.
"Ohh, look… a handsome guy. He'd totally fit into an otome game… Forget it, I'm way outta his league, and you guys are too if you're hanging with a NEET. He probably wouldn't even notice--"
A moment passed, as the 'handsome man' in the alleyway caught sight of the MoonCancer… and smiled.
"Eh? Eh, eh, eeeeh? Wait a second-- look! He's approaching? He's smiling at me? Is it finally happening? My 'meet cute' romance flag?"
He was approaching. Slowly and carefully, as they locked eyes. They could both feel the mana in the air, dense and terrifying. Divinity clashing against something far darker.
"…An enemy Servant." The Avenger said, carefully. "And one of great magical power, I can feel it. As expected of an Extra-Class!"
"Geh-- Great magical power? M-M-Me?! Wait--!" You could see the color drain from the MoonCancer's face, as she slowly began to back up. "L-L-Listen, I'm really just hanging out-- I'm practically a civilian! I'm barely even a S-Servant! Can't you cut me some slack?"
"…No."
He drew a blade. A sword, roiling with bitter flames, as he pointed it towards her.
"Servant of the Holy Grail War. My Masters have given me the order to kill you, mademoiselle… and therefore, you will witness hell."
"See?! This is why going outside is dangerous! Every flag is a red flaaaaag!"
Ganesha: +7%
The Count of Monte Cristo: +4%
Both Ganesha and the Count gain a +1% boost due to their Defensive choices in the previous round!
Servant Skills:
Ganesha (MoonCancer)
Ganesha's defensive play was interrupted! Her skill boosts will reset next round!
Vinayaka (EX Rank): When 'Playing Defensively' gain a +5% bonus to scores, and you cannot be caught off guard. If you are unbothered, then this increases by 1% each time you are not attacked, resetting back to 5% once you're engaged in combat. However, this negates the inherent MoonCancer trait of ‘being unable to be targeted while Playing Defensively’. (Current boost: +6%)
Broken Tusk (B Rank): When engaged in a 1-on-1 confrontation (while not Playing Defensively), gain a +3% boost. Additionally, apply the MoonCancer Class Trait of 'not taking damage if there's a 3% difference in scores' to 1-on-1 battles as well. If Ganesha has been ‘Playing Defensively’ uninterrupted for 3 or more turns (in a row), when she goes on the offense, her attack bonus increases from 3% to 6% for that specific round. (Current defensive turn count: 1)
MOONCANCER-CLASS Servants are experts in manipulating the world and environment to take advantage. They cannot be targeted while 'Playing Defensively'. Additionally, when engaged in a Free-for-All, they gain a +3% boost, and if they score last place and there's at least a 3% difference in their score and 2nd place, they may avoid damage.
The Count of Monte Cristo (Avenger)
Determination of Steel (EX Rank): If Avenger is about to take a fatal wound, if there's at least a 3% difference in their score and the victor above him, he may avoid damage. When facing a single-target (1-on-1), he will gain a +3% boost.
Monte Cristo Mythologie: The King of the Cavern (C Rank): When battling enemies, his flames are like a poison. He reduces demerits against him by 3%, and when he is victorious against another, he inflicts a -2% demerit for their next round. This demerit increases by 2% by every 10% difference in scores.
AVENGER-CLASS Servants are vengeful by nature. The first time they are defeated by a Servant, they gain an automatic +2% bonus against that specific Servant, without needing to study them (but can in order to increase the bonus). They gain a permanent +3% bonus per wound they attain that will remain if the wound remains, but will disappear if the wound is healed.
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homestuck characters as related to trans stuff
head canon
JOHN EGBERT
closeted repping tgirl who will likely not realize she's trans until after 16
avoids mirrors, unhappy with appearance but tries to avoid looking at it
gets dressed in the dark
once she comes out she's gonna dress like the most hideous anime girl for the first few months
like goes HAM
her fav nerd shirts paired with a weird fucking skirt but eventually it looks really good just because of how much time she spends on it now that she likes how she looks
DAVE STRIDER
cool cis guy that will respect the pronouns
will treat people the same regardless of transness
goes down the transfem nonbinary any pronouns route in mid 20s
unfathomably chill
JADE HARLEY
divisive subject. either cool nerdy tgirl or closeted trans guy
tgirl jade puts a lot of effort into dressing for the sake of mirrors
doesn't necessarily look GOOD (ultranerd furry island social recluse) but she looks intresting
however tgirl jade doesn't voicetrain and not only is her voice kinda clocky but also very hoarse from lack of use
closeted transguy/transmasc nonbinary jade is very online and performative feminine stuff until he realizes in his late teens he's trans
does not learn what trans is until late teens, very in sheltered parts of the internet despite being very online
was out online years before he came out irl
third option: chill cis girl who, during
ROSE LALONDE
terf
no hate to rose she is one of my top three characters in all of homestuck but she is very terf vibes
she spends a lot of time "debating" with trans people online (harassment) and frequents a lot of terf forums
i think that after a few years of earth c and maybe meteorstuck she grows past it and eventually to her it's not a fight she's proud to be the lead general of but a phase she's really embarassed of, much like her other silly 13 year old traits
i also really like tgirl rose, not for character basis but i think its cool and i (obviously) love trans headcanons
KARKAT VANTAS
i am very divided between ftm and cis guy.
cis guy karkat is cool, he's very much just some guy who's comfortable in his "girly" hobbies and, while isn't really tied into his physical appearance, isn't dysphoric and is just a little insecure
however: humanstuck karkat will always be trans in my mind, just for the persecution bit, although i would also buy ethnically-middle-eastern adopted into a white american family karkat
he'd be a truscum or just kinda shitty to nonpassing trans people i think, we've seen how many alternian empire boots he licks so conforming to the status quo as a pick-me minority is not above him
again i think he would grow out of it in his later teen years/early 20s (like in the comic) but i don't ever see humanstuck karkat escaping the eternal shame that kind comes with being trans
ARADIA MEDIG0
ily weird unnerving tgirl aradia she is like so that to me. she reminds me of the boymoder NEET memes i see chronically online trans girls on reddit posting
but also i do equally enjoy weird girlboss cis girl aradia
either way she is far too etheral to be bothered with gender stuff
like you could come out to her with sixteen hard to pronounce xenos, pass so badly you unearth masculinity/feminity so prominent it burns to the touch, and she would not give a single fuck. and she would never mess up with pronouns and shit
tAVROS nITRAM
i see her as a hardcore deep deep in the closet repper tgirl as like a core part of my interpretations and yet i can never imagine her coming out
like i just see her boymoding forever
not really? like i think it would happen eventually i just can't visualize it
hypothetically i could see her being one of those cool goth girls named lilith but it seems very removed from the original starting point
2OLLUX CAPTOR
repping tgirl or amab nonbinary or just plain cis
either way still horrifically greasy and that will never change
there is no self reflection that will even vaguely incentivize sollux to maintain his hygeine
:33< NEPETA LEJION
cis girl
maybe comes out as ftm in 20s? if trans, i could also see nepeta repping till death
like just a weird cis girl who is like "oh, you're trans? just like in my warrior cats rp discord server!"
again, gives more of a fuck about gender than aradia but it is close
she just cares if you will listen to her talk about her ships and art
nepeta is the type of person where it might take her a while get the new name and stuff right
"HER PRONOUNS ARE THEY/THEM!"
but she would be your staunch defender
KANAYA MARYAM
eh? nothing strong here, i don't really have a hc for her
but there is a lot of mtf symbolism in the comic and i do enjoy that
like a socially awkward youngshit who's not out to many people because she can't really bring herself to correct people in public but still has a really passing voice even after first coming out
bad facial dysphoria
do like her as intersex. feels right
TEREZI PYROPE
nonbinary
no genders, all the genders, new genders, old primal genders, everything
both simultaneously afab and amab but not intersex?
the living embodiment of androgyny
probably has a very long list of neos/xenos but is any pronouns
you cannot misgender her. hes too cool.
VRISKAAAAAAAA SERK8!!!!!!!!
transgirl transgirl transgril
literally not even a headcanon at this point vriska is a trans girl and that is that!!!!!!!!
if you disagree im kickng your ass so hard it comes out of your mouth. your days are numbered and that number is 0. (not 8 :( )
EQUIUS
option one: cis gymbro chaser.
he sleeps with trans men to steal their t shots
in the streets he'll occasionally say the weird shit but i know he'd be crankin his hog to futa/cuntboy shit by night
option two: trans girl
never comes out because of insecurity but indulges in long hair and the occasional skirt in private and then feels really bad about it
option three: insane roided trans man
t gave him big muscles and big sex drive
option three poiont 5.
racist sexist homophobic nonbinary
like drops the most despicable shit in conversation and finsihes it off with "my pronouns are actually they/them), like one of those nazi femboys
GAMZEE MAKARA
does not gaf
cis (? idk) guy who is fine with any pronouns and crossdresses for fun
i guess not technically cis? but still identifies as a man when it comes down to it. like barely guy
FEFERI PEIXIES
cis girl who is a little infantilizing
if you're transfem she will give you makeup tips
but still a little hugboxy
"oh no you totally pass even though you're 8'100 and have a full beard! women come in all shapes and sizes!" (not shitting on the made up trans girl here, passing is fucking hard and it has no bearing on personal worth)
JANE CROCKER
jane is a repping/closeted trans man and you can pry this from my cold dead hands
the mustache? the projection onto only male figures?
also i think its fun with jane's ties to the girls-only fuchsiablood club that he ends up a dude
also st4t janeroxy my beloved
DIRK STRIDER
gonna be honest here no strong leanings
i am a firm believer that estrogen would save her but i dont really think of dirk as anywhere on the gender spectrum
maybe just cis dirk? i could buy cis dirk
JAKE ENGLISH
one one hand i would like the transmasc rep being not restricted to hairless twinks and i would enjoy ftm jake that way
transmasc nonbinary jake is an insane concept to me but i do find myself intrested
a little iffy on the trans headcanons (especially transmasc) because a big part of the concept of jake english is that he's a big strong man who takes on the literary role of an objectified girl character and having him be
ROXY LALONDE
ex twinkhon femboy now BDD gigapassoid
literally one of the most gorgeous trans women you will ever meet
creating e substitutes in her laboratory since age 12
again not even those most immersed in trans culture and the ways of clocking would be able to tell thats how good she is
her speaking patterns hail solely from those cutesy minecraft/unboxing youtubers she religiously watched as a small child
however she is fully convinced that she doesn't pass for shit so she believes that every genuine complement and people treating her like a woman is just them being nice
she'll attempt to boymode and go "stealth" in scenarios where she doesn't want to be visibly trans but it fucking backfires because everyone assumes she's ftm
DIRK STRIDER
trans man with literally no basis because my dirk-themed friend is also a trans man
4channer transman robotics nerd dirk my beloved
DAMARA MEGIDO
transfem ig? or cis woman
very girl adjacent
idk i dont think about the dancestors much
RUFIOH NITRAM
cis man
MAYBE trans man
i am also cool with that
MITUNA CAPTOR
cis man
MAYBE transfem nonbinary
KANKRI VANTAS
trans man because very few cis men were tumblr "SJW"s
and he reminds me of of some chronically online trans guys i used to hang around
also hes very fuckign petite and girls and feminend and twinky dinky and im just projecting my dysphoria onto him sorrie kankri fans
MEULIN LEJION
cis fujo girl
when she discovered trans men she was like 'YAAAAAS MPREG'
will respect your pronouns and shit but is VERY HORNY
lowkey chaser that will also date cis people
PORRIM MARYAM
two choices: cool goth transbian or lesbian terf
cool goth transbian is the nice one. first off, she looks a lot like some transfem transition goals ive seen online.
second, cool feminist could also be trans rights and trans people are kinda forced into being political
third, being flat as a board could also be interpreted as her just not having tits (tho she does seem like the type to DIY HRT)
TERF porrim (correct): first, a lot of "feminists" turn out to be bitchy to trans people
second, her activism for groups she's a part of and groups she likes is good, but she really infantilizes kankri, and considering that's the beforan equivalent of hemoracism, if trans people didn't fit her motto she would not hesitate to shit on them
LATULA PYROPE
cis girl. maybe she/they
ARANEA SERKET:
trans girl serkets trans girl serkets
would also buy cis girl that makes you wonder if she's actually a repressed ftm because some of her actions are a littttttttle suspicious
HORRUS ZAHHAK
cis man who ends up hanging out with a lot of trans women anyway due to shared intrests in hyperpop and furry stuff
again very respectful, very small chance that he's chaser-y
KURLOZ MAKARA
i honestly do not know and this isnt because i dont really care about his character, it just evades me
transcends gender
could be cis woman, fuck if i know. i'd buy that
all and neither a gender above our human comprehension
CRONUS AMPORA
trans man that proves tboys are real men because they can be just as creepy and awful as cis men
thinks him being trans means he's immune to all types of discrimination
uses it a pity point/to get out of stuff
MEENAH PEIXIES
maybe tgirl? idk
may just be cis
possibly transmasc nonbinary
tho i lean mostly towards cis woman whos gnc and actually cool with trans peopel (be aware she will still groom them tho)
equal opportunity grooming
CALLIOPE
technically transfem anyway because her body isn't sexed so shes kinda intersex
but even if she wasnt a cherub she would still be transfem anyway
chronically online transgirl who spends most of her time in internet spaces with cis girls of her same age
warrior cats fan
humanstuck calliope hung around the warrior cats girls since elementary and never left
CALIBORN
evil trans man
transmasc for same reasons as calliope
humanstuck caliborn avoided all female socialization because he didn't socialize and instead spent his formative years on 4chan
the nature of the /lgbt/ board probably gave him some shame about being ftm
DAD EGBERT and crocker as well, very similar people
cis man who is a staunch ally
MOM LALONDE
cis ally
she's trying? can't say anything more
will occasionally and unintentionally say some out of pocket shit about trans people she knows when drunk
will mess up the pronouns a lot because very scatterbrained
GRANPA HARLEY:
cis man who lowkey fetishizes trans people
straight but fucks non-passing transmen because he doesn't see them as men
trans women are some exotic fetish
if jade came out he would repair his ways tho
NANNA EGBERT
transphobic
not even a terf because she has beef with feminists
but again if john or jane came out she would badger them at first but her love would win out and she would change her views
BRO STRIDER
personally i see him as a cis man but i think trans man bro strider is cool and also an icon
DIRK'S BRO:
cis bisexual man who is cool with trans people
ROXY'S MOM:
cis woman who is in a fucked up evil messy situationship with a transgirl
will trans rights
GRANDMA ENGLISH:
either a. elder trans woman
or b. cis woman (a little nonbinary) who is accepting
does not know the terminology
"oh so you want to live as a woman now? alright, i suppose. i had a friend like that back in college"
HIC:
evil elder trans woman who has an illegal diy hrt empire
will sell out the trans community if it benefits her
grifter
LIL CAL
i dont know it s scary
#homestuck#homestuck headcanon#john egbert#rose lalonde#dave strider#jade harley#june egbert#transstuck#karkat vantas#aradia megido#tavros nitram#sollux captor#nepeta lejion#kanaya maryam#terezi pyrope#vriska serket#equius zahhak#gamzee makara#eridan ampora#feferi peixes#jane crocker#jake english#dirk strider#roxy lalonde#kankri vantas#damara megido#rufioh nitram#mituna captor#meulin lejion#porrim maryam
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Happy Birthday, Shuu!
Summary: Chiyo and Yuma are known to not be each other's biggest fans. For Shuu, though, they are willing to share... maybe.
Pairing: Chiyo x Shuu x Yuma
❗Content Warning: This story has no plot whatsoever, only R18 content, semi-witty dialogue, a bit of blasphemy, and features my OC. If you don't like, don't read, thanks~❗
Shuu had no idea how in the world he had landed in this situation. One second, he was in the living room and the other he was back in his room sandwiched between two bodies — a tall one in front and a small one in the back. For a moment he started to think that he had died and landed in heaven, because there was no way Chiyo or Yuma were being borderline friendly with each other. But here he was, Yuma’s tongue in his mouth and Chiyo’s tits against his back. Besides, there was no way that he would ever go to heaven.
Two pairs of fangs grazed his neck and lips, one pair slower, more sensual, the other rough and almost bruising. Shuu groaned into the kiss, his hands grabbing the soft material of Yuma’s shirt. The taller man broke the kiss and smirked.
“Heh, I had no idea ya were actually so needy, NEET.” His lips traveled to Shuu’s left ear, the warm breath caressing the sensitive area; his raspy voice making him shudder.
“Shut up,” he said and latched his own lips onto Yuma’s neck, causing the latter to grab his waist and pull him closer. Shuu found his hands nice and big as they held him in place.
A breathy chuckle emerged from behind to Shuu’s right. Chiyo was gently tugging at his clothes, peeling the cardigan off his shoulders and pushing them towards the bed. Yuma seemed to get the hint because he pulled Shuu at the hem of his shirt, tugging it upwards quite unceremoniously. Much smaller, more delicate arms wrapped themselves around his lower torso, manicured fingers tracing the lines of his muscles before starting to work on his belt, hastily unbuckling it and palming him through the fabric of his pants. These guys really wasted no time, huh?
“Mmm… you’re so hard already, Shuu…” she purred against his shoulder blade and placed a wet kiss on it. Another shiver went down his spine at the feeling and he hummed.
Who wouldn’t be hard in such a situation?
Yuma yanked him by the arm, leaving Shuu sitting on the edge of the bed while he watched how Yuma started to undress. If he was being honest, he was a little overwhelmed. This all came as a surprise; nobody had filled him in beforehand that this random visit would turn into this!
Where was he supposed to look? To his left, his childhood best friend was currently throwing his clothes onto the couch, crazy abs on display. And on the other side was his girlfriend with her lace-covered ass up in the air as she picked up her skirt from the floor, neatly putting it away before making her way over to the bed. His mind was not fast enough to compute.
In a matter of seconds Yuma was back at his side again, helping Chiyo to get Shuu’s pants and boxers off him, freeing his dick finally. She knelt before him, pushing his legs apart and settling between them. The look on her face told him she definitely knew what she was doing to him.
He looked down at her and exhaled, leaning back on his arms. She looked so good with his cock next to her face. So good that he had to suppress the urge to just shove it into her mouth until she choked on it. Chiyo’s hand wrapped around the base before starting to gently stroke it. If only she would go harder, he thought. She could be such a tease. He began thrusting his hips upwards to match her pace, eyes already half lidded. This whole situation took him so much by surprise, even his body was overwhelmed.
Suddenly, a huge hand yanked his head back with lots of force, making Shuu groan in half a moan.
“Yer goin’ to ignore me?” he growled.
Yuma’s complaint made him smirk.
“I would never…” he said in a breathy laugh and the grip on his hair tightened. Maybe he’d just start whining like a bitch in heat if that kept up. At the same time, Chiyo traced her tongue flat up his shaft. Wet and warm and just so fucking good. His head strained against Yuma’s grip; he really wanted to see her suck him off, see her soft and pink lips wrapped around him as if it was the only thing she ever needed, but Yuma held him back, forcing him to turn his head to the side.
“Don’t look at her, look at me,” he groaned. And look he did; Yuma’s eyes were beautiful, the brown color almost gone with how dilated his pupils were. The little specks of green, however, still dancing there brightly. He was about to ask him to kiss him again, but his attention diverted again when he heard a dark and breathy chuckle from between his legs. At the same time, the warm and comfortable feeling of Chiyo wrapped around him disappeared, leaving him feel incomplete.
“Jealous?” The question was obviously targeted at Yuma, who had finally let go of Shuu’s hair, letting him sit back up normally. Chiyo’s warm breath hit the tip of his dick and made him squirm in pleasure.
“You’re the one hoggin’ all the interestin’ parts of him!”
Shuu snorted, he found that his face was also quite an interesting part of himself, but oh well.
“I bet you don’t even suck dick.”
“With you down there? Definitely not.”
Shuu watched the scene unfold before him in amusement. He knew these two would never stop bickering. It was surprising enough they had themselves under control enough to be making out with him at the same time. However, he would have never thought the object of their fight would be about who would suck his dick. Not that he would complain either way. He considered himself a winner no matter the outcome.
“But since yer so eager… let me help ya out,” Yuma said and grabbed a fistful of her hair now.
The girl let out a surprised yelp and Shuu’s eyes widened. “Are you okay?” he asked, voice tinted with worry.
He knew she was very sensitive to touch at the back of her head, but his friend might have not been aware. And the last thing he wanted was for her to suffer while trying to give him a good time. She shot him a reassuring gaze, nodding slightly.
“Don’t worry, I’m fine. He’s just an idiot,” she said glaring at Yuma, whose demeanor and grip on her hair softened a little before he pushed her head forward, back up close in between Shuu’s legs.
“I hope ya don’t have a gag reflex, Sow… come on, open wide…”
Chiyo took a long breath and wetted her lips, before parting them, letting Yuma guide her onto the twitching cock in front of her. The moan Shuu let out was deep and guttural, he wasn’t even aware he was capable of such a sound. Her tongue wrapped around him so sinfully well; the way Yuma bobbed her head up and down allowing him to hit deeper than usual. Chiyo moaned and the back of her throat tightened around him. It made him moan as well, grabbing Yuma’s shoulder for support.
“Ya look wrecked already…” Yuma murmured into his ear while keeping Chiyo’s head firmly in place. The way she whined and swallowed made him shake. “Do ya like how she feels around your cock?”
He barely managed to nod; if this was going to go on, he’d come in no time. Something in Yuma’s eyes told him he knew. He withdrew Chiyo’s head from him instantly, much to Shuu’s dismay.
“Don’t look at me like that, ya wanna cum so soon already?”
Shuu only blew a stray strand out of his face, not answering verbally and choosing to glare at him half-heartedly instead. Chiyo stood up and joined him on his other side, nuzzling his neck.
“You want to have a go yourself after all?” she teased the other man.
“Tch, ya think a lil’ dick sucking scares me?” Yuma asked and motioned for Shuu to scoot backwards and lie down properly on the bed. At this point, he really had no energy left to put up a fight or complain, and why would he anyway? So he just settled against the pillows, Chiyo following suit, drowning his moan in a kiss while Yuma’s mouth almost swallowed him whole. As with everything else, he was rough, while Chiyo was softer. And he loved both.
He kneaded her tits through the lacey bra while they kissed. He would have loved to thrust his hips upward too, but Yuma held him in place with only one of his hands. Little mattered to Shuu when he was horny like that, but otherwise this might have made him feel pathetic as hell.
Chiyo kissed his temple and pulled away a little.
“Yuma… look at him…” she purred.
The warm feeling of Yumas mouth suddenly vanished, and he missed it almost instantly. Being denied like this for a second time made him whine.
“Shit, I thought ya looked wrecked before… but now…”
Shuu wondered how exactly he looked right now; whatever he looked like it must have had an effect on both Chiyo and Yuma – they looked ravenous.
Calloused fingertips glided over his sensitive dick, the harsh movement making him shiver, as Yuma’s hand worked him up and down. He was sure he would tip over the edge any moment now.
The soft smushing feeling of boobs caressed his side as Chiyo pressed closer, hands treading through his hair gently.
“Shuu…” she mused.
His hips bucked when she said his name like that. He could listen to that velvety voice for hours on end. This tone… it was like a private performance meant for his ears only. He wanted to record it, save it forever, so he could play it on repeat.
“Would you like to come for us?” she asked.
The answer was absolutely yes, please! He felt like sobbing and begging, but he still had enough pride left to just hum in agreement, whispering a soft ‘Yes’ instead.
Yuma’s big, warm hand was still working him, the strokes long and slow. What sweet torture. It frustrated him to no end! How was he deciding to start thinking about taking it slow now? Now, when Shuu really, really, really felt like coming.
“Yuma…” he growled in frustration earning himself a deep chuckle from the other male. Shuu lifted his head from between the valley of Chiyo’s breasts and glared at him, before his gaze dropped, watching his cock slide in and out between Yuma’s fingers, the tip of it appearing and disappearing again. It only made him more desperate.
“Yeah?” Yuma asked with a sly smirk, feigning ignorance.
“Don’t be like that…”
Turns out it was incredibly difficult to argue or make threats while the person you tried to stare down was also the one jerking you off. He probably didn’t look very menacing right now… how annoying.
Yuma’s gaze felt hot on his body; he still could see the beautiful green specs amidst the darkened pupils. Dangerously hypnotizing.
“How about you beg me for it?”
Shuu huffed, his left leg kicking the taller man slightly.
“How about you fucking make me come already?” he retorted.
Yuma caught his leg, restraining it with ease.
“Ya know, I definitely think ya can do better than that, but I really wanna see you lose yer shit, so imma be nice… this time anyway.”
He pushed Shuu’s leg to the side and leaned in further, his grip on him tightening again, hand moving faster, making Shuu gasp. He started to slowly see the appeal in being manhandled like that.
“Fuck—”
Shuu’s eyes shot open, and he jerked forwards, their foreheads almost touching. He was so close, he just needed to—
“Kiss me,” he choked out and grabbed Yuma by the back of his head, pulling him closer. Yuma’s fangs captured his lower lip, before his tongue invaded Shuu’s mouth and his mind went completely blank, his body shaking. The chapped lips that were pressed against his own swallowed every moan and groan, claiming them all as their own until there was nothing to get anymore.
Shuu slumped against the pillows, his breathing labored and eyelids heavy as he looked at the aftermath of what had just happened. He watched with interest how Yuma cleaned his hand with his tongue, getting a raised eyebrow and half a smirk as an answer. Turning his head towards Chiyo again, he could practically see the gears in her head turning as she looked between the two guys.
“I have an idea…” she eventually said and looked at Yuma.
He seemed to get whatever her idea was without her even needing to voice it, because he held out his hand towards her, pulling her towards him. She settled on his left thigh, straddling it. All of this happening at a perfect angle for Shuu to observe.
Yeah, this was definitely afterlife, he thought.
“You know, I don’t like you much,” she said to Yuma, “but he likes you and I feel like he’d want to see this…”
Yuma snorted. “Ya make it sound like I’m into ya, or somethin’…”
She just shrugged in response.
Her delicate hands traveled over Yuma’s broad shoulders, squeezing slightly before she angled her face and stuck her tongue out for him to suck on it. For a split second Shuu could see Yuma look at him in what he thought had to be amusement. Shouldn’t he be boiling with rage because someone else was touching what was his? Maybe if it was anybody else but his childhood friend this would have been the case, but like this? Seeing the two hottest people on earth make out with each other and hearing their mixed sounds of pleasure was incredibly arousing. Chiyo was practically dry-humping Yuma’s thigh while his hands cupped her ass. Shuu would have probably done the same in either position.
He sat up and scooted closer, his lips grazing the soft and pale shoulder of the young woman, making her jump. Merely watching wasn’t enough.
“You know…” he purred and looked up at Yuma, “if you play with her boobs, she’ll go insane…”
Yuma raised his eyebrows, interest piquet for sure, before he grabbed a handful of the soft flesh, kneading it through the lacy fabric. Her head immediately rolled back against Shuu, and she cried out, back arching, making Yuma chuckle darkly. Both sounds scratched something in the back of Shuu’s brain, making him want to hear it again and again.
He rested his head in the crook of her neck, watching intently as the other man teased her pretty mounds. Soon enough, Chiyo was a squirming and whining mess, just as expected. He smirked proudly, nuzzling her left ear. Yuma leaned in and sucked on the spot behind her right ear.
“Ya know… yer girlfriend is actually kinda hot…” he purred as he pulled her bra down just enough to free her tits. Her nipples were hard and pink, begging for more attention. Just perfect.
“Right…?” he smiled and kissed the ear on the other side, his fingers slipping underneath the fabric of the lacey panties, tugging on them from behind until he was sure they were rubbing against her clit.
“Sto— I’m— God, I’m gonna come if you keep going!” she whined. Shuu wasn’t sure if that was a protest or not, but knowing her, she was just pretending to be embarrassed by this anyway, so he didn’t stop.
“That’s the idea…” Shuu whispered into her ear and kept on kissing her neck while working her panties between her slick folds.
“Heheh, Sow, your squeaking noises are adorable. Keep going, hm?” Yuma’s voice was a low murmur before he wrapped his lips around one of her nipples, rolling the other one between his thumb and index finger.
All of this seemed to be too much for her, because Shuu felt her body tense and shiver almost immediately at the actions. A high-pitched cry left her lips as she came undone between the two of them. He caught her by the waist as she slumped backwards panting, skin slightly sweaty. His lips found the juncture of her neck and shoulders, where he trailed his tongue along the salty skin. Seeing as the bra didn’t even do its job anymore, Shuu swiftly unclasped it and threw it somewhere, tracing his fingers gently along the red lines that formed where the underwire had been before.
She sighed deeply, regaining her composure and sat back up, her eyes scanning the other man in front of her.
“For someone who claims to not be into me, you’re awfully hard right now,” she smirked.
“Yer one to talk, as if ya didn’t just wet my whole leg with yer horniness!” That probably was not a real complaint. At least Shuu wouldn’t see the reason why it would be.
Chiyo huffed.
“Well, in any case, I think we should be fair and take care of this too…”
She turned towards Shuu, who had been eyeing this part of Yuma’s body with interest for a while. Even while it was still covered up by underwear the arousal was painfully obvious.
“Shuu…” she said softly, “how do you feel about returning the favor and sucking him off?”
That caught him by surprise. Technically? Maybe he'd like to. But he had absolutely no clue how to properly do it, he previously only ever went down on women. Despite that, heat formed in the pit of his stomach.
“I…” he cleared his throat.
As if sensing his apprehension she quickly added: “You don’t have to if you don’t want to… but if you want to, I can help you.”
He looked back at Yuma, trying to gauge his stance on it. His friend’s expression softened as if to tell him that he didn’t mind either way. Shuu felt his cheeks grow hot at this.
Eventually, he nodded. “Alright.”
Chiyo beamed at him and patted the space behind them for Yuma to lie down. Shuu has never felt so awkward undressing someone in his life. A strange mix of excitement and nervousness flying through him as he slowly freed Yuma’s dick. His eyes were practically glued to it, much to Yuma’s amusement.
“Well that’s… bigger than expected,” Chiyo said but upon seeing Shuu’s intimidated expression quickly added: “but we can work with it.”
He wasn’t sure if he was reassured by this.
“I’ve got you, don’t worry…” she said and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek to calm his nerves a little. Then she scooted closer towards Yuma, reaching for his cock.
“Can I?”
Yuma nodded.
Shuu watched as she slowly stared pumping his length, getting it ready.
“Are ya just goin’ to stare at us or are ya actually plannin’ to join?” Yuma was teasing, but Shuu could feel the slight taunt in his voice, the sound of a challenge. He could not back down because of something as simple as a blowjob, right?
He could feel Chiyo grab his hand and gently squeeze it, smiling at him. The simple gesture made him relax significantly and he exhaled.
“I’ll guide you, don’t worry,” she said, beckoning him closer and putting her hand to the back of his head gently. Shuu’s heart pounded when he came face to face with the throbbing flesh.
Chiyo’s voice was soft and gentle in his ears while she told him what to do. There was something strange in the feeling of having his girlfriend instruct him on such a thing, but he couldn’t say he hated it. The way she praised him when he trailed his tongue along the whole length, spurred him on.
“That’s it, try the tip next,” she said and nudged Shuu’s head gently. As he followed the instructions, tongue gently running along the soft tip, he could feel Yuma tense slightly at the sensation.
“That’s good, right, Yuma?” the girl said, turning slightly.
Yuma only groaned in response and Shuu could see his eyes fluttering shut in pleasure, nodding, when he looked up at him briefly. A strange sense of pride washed over him at the sight.
“Y…yeah… is good…” Yuma panted, and Shuu smirked. It wasn’t that complicated after all, he thought, before parting his lips and taking him into his mouth. Staying still for a few seconds he allowed himself to get used to the feeling.
He could feel Yuma’s gaze burning on him as he tried to go lower, the way Chiyo gently played with his hair and massaged his scalp making him moan.
“Shit, that’s—”
Yuma’s hips jerked a little, taking Shuu by surprise. He had to be careful not to let out a cough.
“Tell him how good that makes you feel…” he heard Chiyo say to Yuma.
“Pretty sure he can guess that from how fuckin’ hard I am!”
“So? You’d be surprised by what a little encouragement can do.”
So even a situation like this did not stop them from bickering. He’d smirk if he could.
“Fuck, fine,” Yuma finally gave in. His hips bucked up slightly again when Shuu ran his tongue on the underside once more. “Hey, NEET, you can feel that right?”
The rough murmur of Yuma’s voice suddenly came closer, and he felt the mattress dip a little as Yuma shifted his weight to his arms. Their gazes met when Shuu looked up again, earning himself a groan from his friend.
With a triumphant look on his face, Shuu started to bob his head up and down slowly, Chiyo’s delicate hand helping him every once in a while. Soon he found a comfortable rhythm that had Yuma roll his head back and gasp. Shuu relished the sounds, his own body reacting strongly to them. He wanted to get him off so bad it hurt.
“That’s it, that’s it… don’t stop…”
Yuma’s words sounded almost desperate, and Shuu knew the other male must have been at least a little embarrassed about the fact that it was him of all people making him feel like this. He couldn’t help but feel satisfaction at this knowledge, it was as if he was completely lost in the moment. His only goal to draw out more of these sounds, to be the one to make this tall and strong guy fall apart, and with only his mouth no less.
The words that came out of Yuma’s mouth were mostly a string of incoherent affirmations and obscenities. It was so clear that he was almost there, struggling to keep it together. Shuu sped up his movements, suddenly feeling desperate himself. The air was thick with anticipation and desire.
“Fuck! Wait, wait, wait, wait!” Yuma’s voice was strained as he made Shuu retract his head.
The blonde frowned, slightly out of breath. Trying to breathe more steadily, he watched the other one also try to regain his composure. They both looked wrecked for sure.
“Let me fuck you properly…” Yuma finally said, his voice ragged and slightly hoarse.
Shuu’s eyes widened in surprise, but his own dick betrayed him by twitching in anticipation. Letting Yuma fuck him suddenly sounded really tempting actually.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Chiyo said again as she put her hand on his shoulder.
He looked at her reassuringly. “No, it’s fine, I want to,” he said.
Yuma shifted, letting Shuu take his place. Chiyo moved behind him, allowing Shuu to rest his head in her lap while Yuma was at the other end of the bed. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to relax for a second and steady his breathing.
“Where’s the lube?” Yuma then asked and Chiyo motioned towards the drawer in the bedside table.
“Did you bring the condoms?” she asked in return.
“Yeah, yeah…”
Shuu remained quiet during the exchange. In his head this situation was still surreal even after all this time. And it was only going to become even more real in a bit. But he wanted this, he really, really wanted this. He closed his eyes again as he waited for Yuma to get the items.
“Everything okay?” Chiyo’s gentle voice caressed his ears from above while she gently stroked his head.
He sighed, a slight smile playing at his lips. “Yeah… I’m fine.”
The woman above him hummed as her fingers traced down his arm, making him shiver a little. Her fingers came to a halt at his hand and tangled with his own.
“Squeeze my hand twice if you ever feel uncomfortable.”
He opened his eyes and was met with beautiful chartreuse staring at him intently, like the two most clear and most beautiful gems in a jewelry box. He hummed in agreement and pressed a kiss onto her knuckles.
Chiyo took the time to gently run her other hand down his body, briefly teasing his already throbbing dick. A soft moan escaped him, and he gently arched his body into her hand.
“You seem excited,” she teased.
“Can you fault me…?” he smirked, and she chuckled softly.
Yuma settled back down, throwing both the lube and a pack of condoms onto the soft bed sheets. Chiyo quickly dipped her head down and placed a gentle kiss on Shuu’s lips before she let Yuma take the lead again.
The taller man spread a generous amount of lube onto his hand while nudging Shuu’s legs open a bit wider. “It’s cold… don’t be surprised.”
Shuu nodded in response, his body tensing slightly at the knowledge of what was about to come. He took a few deeper breaths to calm down.
Yuma’s hand traveled lightly over Shuu’s abdomen and hard-on before making its way between his cheeks. The sensation was foreign, and it took a moment to completely accept it, but he quickly grew impatient.
“Hold on,” Chiyo said and grabbed a pillow, nudging it underneath his hips. “I think like this will be easier.”
Yuma nodded, a small smirk on his face as his eyes traveled along Shuu’s body in front of him. Chiyo’s hands moved along his upper body, relaxing him, as Yuma’s finger traced the sensitive area around Shuu’s entrance, applying gentle pressure every now and then.
Shuu forced his body to relax against the intrusion of the finger, the sensation both delicious and hurting a little. His body tensed more out of reflex than actual discomfort. The foreign feeling making his body heat up and a small moan escaping his mouth as he slowly grew accustomed to his body wrapped around Yuma’s digit.
“You’re doing great, Shuu…” Chiyo mused and squeezed his palm. “Right, Yuma?”
The look in Yuma’s eyes was hungry and dark with desire, but he managed to answer.
“Yeah… feels pretty good too…”
While saying this, he curled his finger inside of him, eyes scanning hungrily for Shuu’s response. A wave of pleasure washed over him, and he choked out a gasp, his back arching into the touch. Never would he have expected it to feel that good; he had to bite his lip to keep himself from whining pathetically.
He found himself pressing further into Yuma’s touch, his body craving more, to his own surprise. His mind was a complete mess; all he could think about was how he wanted more, it truly never was enough.
Yuma’s smirk grew wider as he retracted his finger briefly, only to press in with two. Shuu’s breath hitched again. This feeling of being filled and stretched almost overwhelming.
“What? Givin’ up already?” Yuma’s own voice was ragged, no doubt he was having a hard time holding on himself. “If ya can’t even take that, how d'ya want to take me?”
Shuu frowned at the taunting words. “Does it look like I’m giving up? Keep going.” His voice was a demanding, low growl, surprising even himself. Fuck, he was far gone and very desperate to sound like this.
Yuma hummed, slightly amused by this order. He kept moving his fingers slowly, stretching him further, making Shuu gasp and moan at the sensations before he slowly began adding a third one.
“You asked for more…”
Shuu’s body tensed and he groaned, feeling this stretch more than the past ones. The delicious mixture of pleasure and pain made his mind go foggy with need. It was a good kind of overwhelming, one that indeed left him wanting more.
Chiyo was still caressing his face and upper body as Yuma continued his ministrations. “Make sure to make him feel good, okay?” she said to the taller man.
Yuma nodded. “Don’t worry… that’s the plan.”
He stilled his fingers, allowing Shuu to adjust to them, before he continued to gently prepare the opening for more. His fingers curled and uncurled inside of him, his other hand tracing the area of his inner thigh, making him shiver. Shuu’s mind was completely consumed by the sensations; it was as if nothing outside this bed existed in his world, and he felt like he needed nothing else. And why would he? Everything that was important to him was already on it.
His breaths started to come in shorter and more irregular bursts, body trembling. He could feel the pleasure building in his stomach, his hand clinging onto Chiyo’s.
Then he suddenly felt awfully empty. He shifted upwards, ready to protest until he saw Yuma rolling a condom over his own aching cock. The sight making him moan instantly.
“Damn, yer impatient…” Yuma complained, though there was more amusement than venom in his voice. “Lay back and lemme do my thing.”
Shuu leaned back against the soft thighs with a huff, his eyes not leaving Yuma. Yuma’s eyes darted towards Chiyo for a second, waiting for her approval before he lined himself up and gently, slowly pushed the tip inside of him.
Shuu tensed, the sensation more powerful and intense than he anticipated. Pain and pleasure once again washed over him in a hot wave that made the two feelings indistinguishable.
“Ya okay over there?” Yuma asked, concern in his voice evident, which was rare.
Shuu nodded in response, words eluding him at this point. His body shook as Yuma pressed deeper, the pressure making him gasp and moan louder than he ever had tonight. It was almost too much to bear but he needed more, the sensory overload sending his mind into overdrive.
“It’s okay…” Chiyo whispered caressing his hair. He closed his eyes briefly, forcing himself to breathe steadily as he listened to her soft words of encouragement.
“You’re so fuckin’ tight…”
For some inexplicable reason this made Shuu’s hips twitch and his back arch, the way Yuma was pressing against his insides sending waves of pleasure through him already. He still found himself craving more, urging the other man to keep pushing into him.
With one more thrust Yuma was inside fully, his breathing ragged as he tried to steady himself. All of Shuu’s muscles were tense, making him moan loudly. Every single sensation was so strong, so good.
“Move...”
He didn’t recognize his own voice, this strange pleading, almost sobbing. Never in his life did he want something that badly.
“Fuck,” was all Yuma could retort as he started to thrust his hips slowly. This was not going to last too long; they both knew it. The way Yuma moved inside him had his body feeling electrified and as if he was burning up, his mind completely blank. He couldn’t form a single coherent thought if he tried. The way he was completely at Yuma’s mercy – he loved it!
His own moans and gasps mixed with Yuma’s ragged breaths as the sea of sensations threatened to swallow him whole. It was scary how willing he would be to just let it happen, too. Yet he couldn’t do anything but let Yuma take him, the movements now fast and rough, like everything about that man. He felt his own body tighten around him.
“Shit, I–”
Yuma’s voice tore him from the haze, and he looked up at him. His eyes were closed, and his brow furrowed. He looked so good, lost in pleasure. Shuu could feel him twitch inside of him, ready to burst.
“Fuck, I can’t— I’m gonna cum—”
The hips that had been driving into him stuttered and Yuma’s grip on Shuu tightened as he came with a growl, the big hands gripping him with so much force it would leave a bruise for sure.
Shuu’s eyes were wide as he felt him reach his peak, his own breath labored as he gasped. A slight tinge of disappointment at being left there unsatisfied, though, Yuma’s apologetic face made it a little better.
“Sorry…” he chuckled hoarsely.
Shuu let out a ragged breath in response. “It’s fine…” he gasped, “I just… I need…”
“Don’t worry, I have the perfect idea,” Yuma said and slowly pulled out, leaving Shuu empty and wanting once again. He was so close and on edge, he’d probably do anything the other came up with.
“Come here for a sec,” Yuma said and tugged on Chiyo’s arm, pushing her towards Shuu, her body hovering just above his aching need.
“Be a good toy and get yer boyfriend off for me, hm?” Yuma whispered darkly towards the young woman and pushed her down onto Shuu’s dick.
He couldn’t help the moan that left his lips as her softness enveloped him fully in one movement, nice and warm. He could do nothing about the insane pleasure that spread throughout his body, not that he even wanted to, but it was overwhelming once again. Hearing her loud gasp as Yuma plunged her down onto him made him jerk his hips upward.
He could see Yuma’s big hands grabbing her by the waist, moving her up and down in a rough motion, making her cry out needily. It really was as if she was a human-sized toy for his pleasure only. The motion was only like adding fuel to the fire that was burning inside of him.
Her fingernails digging into his shoulders made him groan in pleasure, his body starting to twitch.
“God, I… I can’t take much more…” he breathed, his hands finding the soft flesh of Chiyo’s thighs.
“You heard him, right, Sow? Make use of that tight, little pussy and make him cum,” Yuma groaned into her ear, fangs grazing the skin.
Fuck, who knew Yuma was good at talking like that? Though, it probably wouldn’t have mattered what he said with that husky tone of his, he’d come undone anyway. He was so close, so damn close, he just needed a little more, just a little push.
Yuma pushed the girl down on Shuu again, her boobs almost in his face, and started to rock her hips forward. She moaned and clenched around his cock desperately. He only hoped she’d last long enough to come with him. The way her whole body rubbed against his drove him closer and closer to his limit.
“That’s it, squeeze him…” Yuma said.
Chiyo was a moaning mess on top of him, he needed her religiously, except he didn’t really believe in God, neither did he think God would be very interested in this scene.
He bit into her chest, drawing some blood, making her cry out louder than before.
“Shuu! I’m gonna—”
Immediately, he sat up, snapping his hips upwards and holding her as close as he could. His dick was throbbing inside her wet and tight cavern, driving him crazy. Just a little more.
“Come with me,” he gasped into her ear.
She immediately tightened around him, starting to convulse and cry and sob. A tsunami of pure need crashed over him, completely taking over, making him reach that peak he had been chasing so desperately.
With one hand he held Chiyo close to himself, with the other he grabbed Yuma by the arm and pulled him closer, his lips crashing on his, making him swallow his moans just the way he did before.
The room filled with muffled moans and needy gasps for a while before Shuu pulled away, Chiyo’s body collapsed on top of him, Yuma leaning back on his arms with a satisfied sigh.
They were all completely spent, Shuu’s body heavy and mind a tired haze. He fell backwards onto the bed, closing his eyes, Chiyo still on top of him, catching her breath.
Eventually, she rolled off him and snuggled up to his side, patting the empty space on Shuu’s other side. He heard the poof and dip of the mattress when Yuma collapsed onto the bed next to them.
Shuu stayed still a little while longer, trying to find the composure he lost somewhere along the way. He felt exhausted, both physically and emotionally, drained completely by the events, that he still couldn’t quite compute. That happened, it’s been real, even though he wasn’t sure how he had ever deserved this kind of bliss.
Yuma turned onto his side, towards him, placing a wet and rough kiss on his jaw.
“Happy Birthday, you idiot.”
Chiyo pressed into him from the other side, her leg draping around one of his and her arm around his torso.
“Happy Birthday, Shuu,” she mused.
He smirked and let out a single breathy chuckle.
Oh, Happy Birthday, indeed.
A/N: Hi! Congrats if you've made it this far! The idea for this came to me more as a joke while I was musing hypothetical scenarios and the next second suddenly this happened- It's the first time for me writing a) relations between two guys and b) relations between three people; turns out it's actually quite hard to do so AND c) relations as seen from Shuu's POV. I tried being more vulgar in the way I described things from his perspective than when I would write from Chiyo's for example. Still, this was kinda fun to make and I like the banter between Yuma and Chiyo. Could this be better? For sure. Will this trio make a comeback? Who knows... I'm gonna hide now, byeeee!
#diabolik lovers#diabolik lovers oc#diahell#author pam#fanfiction#dialovers#pale lily#midnight butterfly#shuu sakamaki#yuma mukami#chiyo himura#(( well that happened... ))#((whats the ship name? ))#(( chuuma? ))
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Tips for writing shizun-is a teacher I wish to fuck blorbo Shen Yuan and 300 women but only truly want one man blorbo Bingge? They are so tasty but I want to characterize them accurately 👌👌
they are indeed the tastiest 😌🍴 and i'm glad that you enjoy my characterization of them enough that you trust me to give advice on them!
that said, i'll go ahead and add my usual sort of disclaimer when giving writing advice -- this is how i interpret these characters, and it's highly unlikely that everyone will agree with all aspects of my understanding of them. feel free to take/leave whichever pieces of this advice suit you personally!
(after all, i don't even take my own advice to heart all the time. there are always exceptions, especially in fandom / fic, where the guiding principle should always just be "do whatever is most fun!")
⬇ ⬇ all advice under the cut to avoid clogging ppl's dashes ⬇ ⬇
for writing shen yuan,
he's an asshole! i often see sy portrayed as kind and innocent as a heavenly saint, but this is the same guy who delighted in harassing the writer of his (not) favorite book. he's argumentative and a bit mean, and he enjoys being those things, particularly when it makes him feel as if he's "won" something. to write this part of his character,
within his own narration, i'll include casual insults directed at anyone/thing that causes him a mild inconvenience
in conversations between him and someone he dislikes, i try to ensure he's never the one to disengage first unless something forces him to, instead writing him as always wanting to get the last word in.
whatever quips/insults/methods of revenge he enacts, i try to ensure that they match his own image of who he is. when he's sqq, his bitchiness doesn't "win" anything unless the way he enacts it fits within his image as an aloof immortal. even when he's a NEET in his original world, he has an image of himself that he wants to maintain (i.e. "winning" on the internet means "people believe you're right.")
he can be sweet, but it's an attitude reserved for people/things he likes very much. even then, it only reinforces his bitchiness; i try to always write him as most mean when someone is attacking something he likes.
he's conditionally oblivious, not completely so. although oblivious!sy is super fun, he's really only "oblivious" to things that would be inconvenient for him to know/understand, and even then, it's less that he doesn't notice and more that he doesn't want to notice. to write this part of his character,
i still have him notice whatever is happening, but within his own narration he'll complete whatever mental gymnastics are necessary to reach a more convenient conclusion than the obvious one.
i try to portray these mental gymnastics as increasingly frantic / borderline panicked depending on how big the jump is between "what is easy for sy to think" and "what the reality is." kinda as if sy can tell that his own excuses are falling apart in real time and is desperately trying to cover it up.
a lot of "what is easy for sy to think" lies in his comphet, but not all of it. it's also easy for him to think that he's right - so when he makes a reasonable assumption, and then he learns new information that disproves that assumption, i usually take that as a chance to throw in some mental gymnastics, too.
when he does finally allow himself to understand, it's often because he's reached the tipping point of "what is easy for me to think is now actively harmful to me or someone i care about." i'll often write sy doing his mental backflips for chapters on end without any sign of stopping, but then very suddenly come to a halt and recognize the truth when he's faced with irrefutable proof that his assumptions are making things Worse (i.e., binghe is crying).
for writing bingge,
his motivation for chasing after a sy of his own lies primarily in the emotion of "this isn't FAIR" as opposed to a genuine desire to have a happy life with sy specifically. it isn't fair that he got a cruel sqq while bingmei got one that grew to care for him, it isn't fair that bingmei is happier in his life than bingge is in his ""objectively"" more accomplished life, etc etc. to write this part of his character,
he'll expect sy to treat him just like sy!sqq treated bingmei right out the gate, because sy doing so would make things "fair" for bingge. when sy fails to meet these expectations, i'll write bingge experiencing the frustration of a child denied the treatment their sibling got, not the distress of a man being rejected by someone he loves.
he has to learn to want sy romantically, and learn how that's different from just vaguely wanting "whatever bingmei had that i didn't." when he reaches this point, i'll try to write some key change in the way he treats sy in order to show that his mental framing of the situation has changed. often, i change the way bingge addresses sy at this point (i.e. calling sy with a diminutive instead of by his name).
he has very firm ideas about what is "good," and very little of them actually match what he wants. by the time bingge reached a position of power, he'd spent a lot of time reinforcing particular ways of thinking and acting because they were what kept him alive during difficult times. to write this part of his character,
he'll lash out at anything that has the chance to hurt him, because striking first is how he's survived. bc of this, i'll write him as very quick to lash out at sy or run away from their relationship if he gets even the slightest hint that sy might have messed up somewhere... but only after bingge has grown to like sy enough that he's emotionally vulnerable to what sy might do to him.
before that point, i'll write him as just mildly frustrated that this nice new toy he found isn't playing with him correctly.
he was only respected and listened to after he became powerful and scary, so he'll resist showing any other side of himself. i'll often use this as a point of conflict, highlighting how 'what makes a good romantic partner' has very little overlap with 'what makes a scary emperor' and forcing bingge to hesitantly change his habits.
i also have tips i wrote specifically about the bingmei-ification process here, if you wanted to check those out :>
anyway, i hope these help a bit! thank you again for trusting me for advice, it's very sweet of you. good luck with your own writing adventures, i'm sure you're going to kill it!!! 😤💪
#AND SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO GET AROUND TO ANSWERING YOU#i've been very busy n tired recently jdfh#hope this advice helps tho !!#nyoomerr ask#nyoomerr gives advice
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when guys are neets its really pathetic and gross and i think they should grow the fuck up but im actually fully supportive of women who refuse to get jobs and instead sit at their desk all day snacking, gaming, and watching anime stay strong queens.....
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Janeway:
- will literally martyr herself at the drop of a hat
- will kill you if she thinks it's what she needs to do for her crew
- will not kill you if she thinks you've got residue humanity after decades as a borg drone even though realistically she really should've (tho ofc we're all glad she didn't)
- will violate your personal rights if she thinks you're not "human" enough and also compare you to a replicator (yes I'm still salty about that. wait what was the question? right, i'll get back on track)
- will say absolutely deranged shit like "then be a good rat and find us the cheese" in the a tone that makes me lose my mind and basically give everyone a crush on her (and also mommy issues) if they spend too long in her vicinity, leading to a very loyal crew
- her solution to having a crush on a fictional character was to delete his wife (very relatable but also very not normal)
- she wanted to watch hot Q on Q sex (possibly for scientific reasons) and looked very disappointed when it was severely underwhelming
- WHO brings a bathtub on a spaceship???
- there's more but y'know
Dokja:
1. Introduced as a bland everyman only made exceptional by circumstance, slowly revealed to be the most batshit, suicidally depressed, bisexual maniac in existence. Uses self-sacrifice like a tool and is completely unaware of how beloved he is by the people he keeps pulling into his fold because he is so deeply and utterly convinced that he is fundamentally unlovable. He's like sixty foundational traumas stacked in a trench coat and he's always sixty steps ahead of everyone else and he loves the people he chooses so so dearly and people keep calling him ugly even though he's canonically pretty average and holy shit dude get some therapy please
2. do NOT let the pretty official art fool u. this is the most average 28 year old salaryman going through the absolute most in the apocalypse. ORV is a story about the most average man on earth with the most mundane, depressing life. and one story that he read to cope with it all. he's just some guy, but he is also the most beloved specialest guy. not because he had some hidden talent. just because he loved a story ferociously and also he likes getting in trouble on purpose. he is the most unreliable narrator you will ever find. every piece of the universe loves him for his average stupid self. you will understand when you read 👍
3. GHBJNKML i am praying someone has sent him in but. unreliable narrator the most ever and also i just. love him so much. orv in itself is such a goo dnovel but like. kim dokja is the definition of love and the most caring person but also he's suffered so much and while. yknow we're introduced to him as a kind of nerd but like. listen he's so fucked up juts LISTEN
4.He looks like a neet-pulled office worker. Spoilers:
turns out to be one of the oldest things in the world and the only being keeping it going and alive. He needs to be there to keep the world going. Also, he got like kind of adopted by Persephone and hades. Like his blorbo is real and in love with him. But this man looks so average that people call him ugly to his face just because he’s surrounded by absolute gorgeous people.
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people are always saying so and so media is "about being neurodivergent" due to the presence of a "silly little guy" in it
untrue invader zim is actually about being autistic though. the horrors of finding out the human world is gross and evil and the only person who understands you is a kid who hates you and wants to dissect you and harvest your organs homoerotically
i think the JV body of work actually captures being weird much better than most things explicitly aimed at doing so (at least in a ~representation~ light). i mean, read jthm. the original NEET. transition couldn't have saved her but it could've made her worse. Real Schizo Moments. etc
JV has a characteristic way of capturing little parts of the world and magnifying them textually and artistically, which wouldn't be quite as unique if he didn't hit so perfectly on the stuff that's actually real -- like, the bizarre and totally completely unfair nature of "skool" in IZ, that none of the kids actually get that mad at because it's normal to them? the creeping horror of realizing you are an alien and the world is covered in germs and is hostile to you on a cellular level, but like, specifically the way that episode is drawn and paced and then the antidote ending up being something that appears much grosser to other people
it just deals with a bunch of issues in a sort of subconscious way, there's no explicit or implicit pointing out of the conclusions the artist wants you to make. all the best art about real problems is this way i think, partly because people who aren't trying to highlight some or the other issue don't feel the need to try and smash the audience's face up to it and in doing this, somehow tap into the Real Shit frequency with ease. not to say this is foolproof though. i am sure there are many readers of this post who have watched some amount of IZ and didn't feel it was "that deep" but i kind of think that's part of it too. Subconscious Implantation. the best stuff is stuff that's funny or enjoyable on a "shallow" level too
i really wish JV was still actively making work that was like this but i can't blame him for mostly just being weird online at this point i guess
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So what's next? (TogamexSakura) Wind Break Fanfic
Tags: Flowershop/Tattoo AU, Flower!Sakura, Tattoo!Togame, oblivous!Sakura
Summary:
“Ne, ne, Sakura-chan~.” Suo brightly called.
Sakura was in the backroom working on a bouquet. He had his work apron over his outfit, and was sitting on a stool while cutting different ribbons to wrap around the flowers. “Hmm?” He humed. Hopefully loud enough for Suo to hear him.
“Your lover boy is standing outside his shop.”
______
AO3
“Ne, ne, Sakura-chan~.” Suo brightly called.
Sakura was in the backroom working on a bouquet. He had his work apron over his outfit, and was sitting on a stool while cutting different ribbons to wrap around the flowers. “Hmm?” He humed. Hopefully loud enough for Suo to hear him.
“Your lover boy is standing outside his shop.” Suo responds from his place at the front entrance at the cash register. The flower shop had glass windows all along the front with different types of bouquets that each worker had created, displayed behind them.
Along with having a clear view of their neighbors.
Sakura stood up slowly, and walked to the doorway to the backroom, and slammed the door shut. Loud enough for Suo to know his answer.
His face was flamed. He knew it was.
He grabbed his cheeks, and shook his head.
“Wow. You’re still letting what Suo said to you, get to you?” Nirei said from his desk in the corner of the backroom. He was their accountant, and marketing expert.
A month ago, Nirei made Sakura be in their commercial. He fumbled his way through it, trying his best to talk about the different types of flowers they have. Blushing the whole time during an outside segment, when he was supposed to go to their neighbors, and give them a flower to show that they are a part of the community.
The last stop was the Tattoo shop across the street, called Shishitoren Skin Art, run by Togame, and Choji. Usually Choji is at the front desk greeting everyone, but that day had to be Togame, and
“AHHH!” Sakura grabbed his hair in frustration. Remembering what Togame did when he got his flower.
Sakura refuses to watch the video.
Nirei said it went viral on TikTok, and Youtube.
Their neighbors have been coming by sharing their foods, and gifts from their business for thanks since they’ve been getting more business as well thanks to being featured.
The shop run by Tachibana gave them each a coupon book, and it’s been the best gift of all.
Nirei leans back in his chair. “You don’t know if Togame really has a crush on you. Suo is probably messing with you. It’s what he lives for.”
“But he kissed me!”
“On the forehead. Like a big brother to a little brother as a show of thanks.” He sighed. “You guys have a good relationship.” He looks at Sakura, still a blushing mess, holding his face in his palms. “Don’t you miss fighting with him?”
Sakura shook his head. “I don’t need him! Tsugeura, and Sugishita still fight me.”
“This is sad.” Nirei mumbles.
He drops his hands from his face and glares at Nirei. “Oi, shut up! How about you go out there and talk to the customers, you freaking neet! All you do is sit back here and talk shit.”
“Oi, I’m not as pretty as the both of you. I won’t make sales. I have the stats to prove it for the times I’ve been out there.”
Sakura’s face is less red now. He walks back over to his work bench. His back to Nirei. “You are cute. You dumbass.” He hastily compliments, though it sounds like a threat.
Nirei sighs softly, and touches his heart. “Awww, Sakura-san.” He smiles.
____________
“So this is where you've been?”
Sakura jumps in his skin. He’s in the banquet hall next door run by an annoying old lady, who constantly loves to pretend her legs are shit, but Sakura had video proof of her teaching a pilates class.
She has it’s her twin, and Sakura doesn’t have enough evidence to disprove it, so he ends up driving her the short distance to Tachibana’s shop.
The mother of the husband hired them, and he’s setting everything up in the wedding part, and Suo is working in the dining area with Kiryu.
The dining area is closer to the entrance.
He picks up his phone, and the group chat has a picture from Suo of a Cat gif saying ‘Good luck!’
He’s working on the altar, or he was before he was interrupted. His hands have frozen above the Dahlias.
He makes eye contact with Togame, as he walks to the altar. Thankfully the runner isn’t down yet, so Togame’s sandals won’t dirty it.
He would have yelled at him, and fought him if so.
“Haven’t seen you in a while, little monkey.” Togame says. He has his shades on today. His mullet has gotten longer, or maybe Sakura hadn’t noticed since it’s usually in a ponytail. The dragon tattoo of Shinran from Dragonball Z is wrapped around his neck, and the flower tattoos he has on each hand. One hand has blue bells, and the other has orchids.
It was how they started talking.
He told him those were ugly flower tattoos.
And they started brawling in the streets, but neither of them could beat the other.
Eventually Choji called for Togame, but he walked Sakura back to his shop first, and patted his head,
“I had fun, little monkey.” He gave him a toothy smile before walking back to his shop.
Also he always had a monk type of outfit on.
Fucking weirdo.
“I’ve been busy.” He quickly says. His face is heating up.
Togame tilts his head at him. “Why is your face red?”
Sakura hastily smacks his cheeks. “No reason. It’s probably because I’m doing a wedding. You know romance stuff—wait not like you know romance, like you're a single loser like me. Well it’s not like I enjoy being single, but wait don’t—.” His cheeks are burning, and he puts a hand out in front of him to prevent Togame from getting any closer.
Togame walks closer and closer throughout his ramblings, and pats his shoulder, bypassing Sakura’s weak attempt at stopping him. “Dude, calm down.” He crouches down to Sakura level. Sakura was working on the bottom to middle half of the altar.
Sakura is sitting on his bottom.
Togame is crouched slightly above him, smiling down at him.
“Ne, ne, Sakura-chan. I think Togame has a crush on you.”
He hears Suo's voice in his mind.
He gulps.
“Are you calm now?” Togame asks after enough silence follows.
Sakura stiffly nods. He feels like there's no other options for what’s going on. He’s never had someone have a crush on him before.
At the age of 27, he thinks Togame is 29. Togame probably has had a lot of experience with dating, but to Sakura it’s just so scary, but…. he also wants it.
“Can I–.” He stops, clearing his throat. “Have you ever had a crush on someone?” Sakura meekly asks. He shifts his eyes off to the side.
“You’re avoiding me because you have a crush?” He laughs. “What, you don’t want them to see how much of a little monkey you are? Always ready to fight at a moment's notice?” He shakes Sakura with the hold of his shoulder.
Sakura slips out of his grip. “No! You fuck-ass. I’m asking if you like someone?”
Togame tsk. “Fuck no. I don’t have time for that shit.” He grabs his shades, moving them to the top of his head. Then let his elbows rest on his bent knees. “Choji takes up too much of my attention, and I’m taking on an apprentice. I don’t have time for a relationship.” Then he looks pensive for a moment. “Well, I don’t think anyone wants to date me. I used to be a real asshole in my past relationships. So I’d rather not try again.” He shrugs.
Sakura listens to him.
So he has his answer.
Suo was wrong.
He feels—
Hmm, he doesn’t know how to feel.
“Oh.”
“If you were looking for relationship advice, shouldn’t you have asked Umemiya? Hasn’t he been with his husband for like six years.”
Four years ago his old Senpai called him up and asked if he wanted to buy his flower shop. He was looking to sell, so he could invest the money. He wanted to buy a house, and built a closet for his husband, Tsubakino.
He didn’t understand because as far as he knew Tsubakino was pretty wealthy.
Umemiya just laughed at him, and told him, “You’ll understand one day.”
Suo, and Nirei helped pitch in buying it, and they’ve been successful ever since.
Though his senpai will bring them a basket of fruit and vegetables every week in exchange for a bouquet to give to Tsubakino.
“He speaks in riddles. He’d say something like.” He imitates Umemiya’s voice. “Ahh, the leaves will tell you how to speak one day, and you’ll know how to show your true colors of love!”
Togame laughs at him. “He would say something like that.” He smacked his knee to emphasize his amusement. “And Choji would eat it up.”
Sakura laughs too.
He missed this.
They’d usually get something to eat after fighting, or sometimes he called Togame over to the flower shop to sit with him, while he sketches next to Sakura as his work table. He’s seen a few of Togame’s artwork, though he won’t show Sakura every sketch he does when he’s invited over.
His heart is feeling lighter, so he feels he can be honest. “You want to know why I was avoiding you?”
Togame flicks Sakura’s nose. “At least you admit it, you little monkey.”
Sakura tries to kick him, but Togame jumps in time.
Sakura pouts.
Togame reaches out, and rubs his thumb over Sakura’s bottom lip, “Come on, tell me why.” He’s still smiling at him.
Sakura licks his thumb, and Togame leans a bit closer. “Ahh don’t start something, I know you won’t finish.” Togame sultry glares at him, before slowly taking his thumb away. “But I shouldn’t mess with you when you are trying to speak.” He puts the thumb in his own mouth, making eye contact with Sakura.
Sakura instantly combust.
He thinks Togame can see the imaginary fumes coming out of his ears.
“I have work to do!” He loudly reminds, pointing a finger at him. “GO!”
Togame chuckles, “Not until you tell me why you were avoiding me?”
Sakura quickly shakes his head. “NO! You made it weird!”
Togame groans, throwing his head back. “Come on. I’ve missed you. I was going to invite you over to my place. I got a free couples coupon from Tachibana’s place. I was going to use it with Choji, but he’s beefing with her for some reason.” He puts his head back up again. “Then I remembered I know a lost primate that probably hasn’t eaten since he’s a little workaholic.” He teases.
He wants to feel offended, well he is offended, but that’s not the point.
Free food from his favorite place!
“Suo said you have a crush on me, but I know it was a lie to mess with me.” He quickly spits out.
Togame pauses.
Sakura pauses.
Then a snort comes from deep in Togame’s chest. Togame covers his mouth to keep the giggles in.
“Stop laughing at me. I know I’m dumb sometimes. Nirei was right. He said I’m like a little brother to you.”
Togame snorts again. He closes his eyes and looks away from Sakura.
“STOP IT!” He grabs a few flowers next to him on the floor and throws it at him. The altar is mostly done. This extra batch wasn’t going to be used.
Togame lets the flowers land on him.
He turns back to Sakura.
Sakura jolts from the blank stare. “What?”
“For being a dumbass, you’re staying the night at my place.”
Sakura’s eyes widened. “What? Why?”
He dusted a few flowers off his chest. “To make up for lost time.” He decides.
Sakura wants to dispute it but it does make sense.
So he nods.
Togame grins wide at him. “Call me when you’re done here. I’ll bring my motorcycle, and we can drive then since you don’t know where I live. I’ll bring you back in the morning.” Togame stands up.
“Oi, I’ll need clothes. We have to stop at my place first.” He asserts.
Togame waves him off. “Drivers rules. You can wear my clothes, little monkey.”
“To work?!” He screeches, face flamed again. “Suo will be so mean to me.” He whines.
Togame walks back down the aisle. “Not my problem. Text me your order beforehand, and I’ll have our meals waiting for us.”
Sakura watches him walk away, and out the door.
He smirks.
He can’t wait to tell Suo he was wrong!
AO3
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i love my little guys, they all have a place in my head and heart.
this is another tcoaal oc, however they're more flexiable than my other one's when it comes to their role? they can either be a sibling or a kid of andrew and ashley (not decided and can go either way in my head).
their name is just a. graves for now (i sometimes call them andromeda), and they insist on not being called anthony... that is a different person. they're a introverted person and a NEET, they're always at home reading a book and listening to music in their bedroom. they do not want to meet new people or make new friends, they're perfectly content with just their family.
they weren't always so doom and gloom! they were pretty jovial and hopeful when they were a young lad, excited to grow up and do all sorts of cool stuff! they would maybe be a cook, or an astronaut, or a firefighter... but that was then, and now they've just sort of given up. it doesn't really matter what they are in the end, does it?
if i had to write them with my other graves sibling ocs, they'd be twins with aria (both are the youngest/18 years old in my head) and share their heterochromia (aria has a pink right eye and green left eye, a. has a green left eye and a pink right eye)
a mutual in the tags said that they look like andrew! this was on purpose at first when they were younger but overtime they decided to just let their hair grow out more. they do get mistaken for andrew sometimes at school and they do not like it (they don't necessarily hate it though)
(the playlist is just songs that i think fit them or that they'd like, they do not fit the time period though (late 1990's/early 2000's) so please keep that in mind)
that's all for now :3
#cobweb in the coffin#coffin art#tcoaal#the coffin of andy and leyley#tcoaal oc#coff-in stop making ocs/inserts of media they like challenge: IMPOSSIBLE#i can't help it#and i refuse to get help for it#i also believe that they are some flavor of trans and queer#do not ask me which#its a mystery flavor
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