#all the love tho those who like it
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When I tell you I'm mad about tiktok, I am mad about tiktok
Now, I don’t have the app, never have, partially bc I'm not a very active social media person, sans tumblr. I do have a lot of the apps, bc I have friendgroups and activieties that only communicate via a certain one.
I also suffer horrible executive dysfunction and am quite easily triggered into a panic attack, due to a long history of them.
So tiktoks, are the worst. They are horribly addicting, and without fail they get me stuck. I'll be bored, open instagram tiktoks out of habit, addiction, whatever you call it, and I'll be stuck for hours on end, in the same position scrolling.
I want to stop. But I can't.
Yesterday I was stuck like this for nearly 3 to 4 hours, even though I was freezing cold and the blanket was just next to me.
I couldn't move to grab it.
When I texted Hubby to ask for help, I immediately went back to tiktok, the youtube ones this time. I didn’t want to.
I just couldn't stop myself
It wasn’t until they called me I managed to get unstuck, after they asked me to do something, a thing that generally works.
After I had a mental breakdown for another hour or so.
I have a timer on my instagram, 15 minutes a day. Really, it’s just enough to answer messages and post an art piece, bc that’s what I use it for. Used to use it for. I tried installing an older version without the tiktoks, but then I literally couldn't post anymore.
Now, when my timer runs out on my instagram.
I have youtube left. I didn’t put a timer on youtube because well, I like the long videos, and don't usually consider them as wasting my time, bc they're artsy videos.
But now I've been on there for hours and hours and hours.
I can't turn the tiktoks off,
I can't install an older version of the app. It's a built in system app of my phone, and therefore can't be deleted. Same as facebook.
Out of the 7 socialmedia apps on my phone, only one doesn't have tiktok (bless you tumblr please stay as you are)
I find it horrifying, that there is a media I don't whish to see, that triggers me every single time to be stuck for hours on end, and I literally can’t avoid it.
If I would delete all the apps, the extreme version, the thing people always tell me to do 'bc if u don't it really is your own choice'
I would also delete my tv (Netflix) , my only connections to my friends (snapchat) my family and youthmovement communication (Facebook) my inspiration picture collection (pinterest) photos of my friends (instagram) and videos I use mostly for research (youtube)
Then you aren’t asking me to delete tiktoks from my life
Then you are asking me to pretty much delete every aspect of social media I use and their effects.
Please. If I would want tiktok, I would download tiktok. If your money eating app is not about that, give us a toggle button.
I already gave instagram a timer. Then I fell into youtubes trap. I now deleted (disabled y t) both of them
And I am just scared that I'll fall into the next spiral of horribleness
#tiktok#angry rant#when I tell you that I cried like a child trying to get rid of yt shorts while sti getting to watch yt#I hate tiktok#all the love tho those who like it#you do you boo#all I ask for is a toggle button on the apps that weren't inteded for it
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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i loved the colours in this scene too much not to do a redraw
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#megumi#fanart#jjk fanart#screencap redraw#(fr those of u who missed the announcement i am fresh off s2 i finally finished it like. this afternoon H)#ws floored by the art the animation th frame drops the intensity n grittiness of it all....literally in love the whole time#with megu also <3 lov him <333333#but re: th redraw . i cant believe i was given the opportunity to Not draw extra rabbits#and i ignored it to draw extra rabbits#smth smth work harder not smarter...smth smth make ur own life difficult n complain abt it ...#none of that matters tho look at MEGU#u kno maybe colour theory is onto something bc this screenshot goes SO hard#me; having art as my One hobby since childhood: wow maybe blue and orange Are complementary :0#i keep learning the same things over and over and kicking myself fr it not sticking ever gjhdj
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#yes#yes you are#but you're also a simp for gege so all's forgiven#love to see him being a brat to those who deserve it tho#like YES KING DESTROY THEM#tgcf#heaven official's blessing#hua cheng#tian guan ci fu#mxtx#san lang#tgcf meme#heaven officials blessing
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gojo would kill your work husband. but if he were the work husband, that's a different story
REAL!! he’s such a hypocrite because if someone mentioned you had a work husband, his entire world would stop and he wold devise the absolute worst plans to make sure that your co-worker, everyone at your job, and everyone in the next building over knew that he was happily committed to you
but if he is the work husband, he’s very........ dutiful in his role. there’s a loose office/lawyer au in my head where satoru is your secretary, and for all intents and purposes, your personal assistant, and he’s good at his job, but mostly because he considers his job to be pleasing you. he has coffee for you when you arrive, he moves your schedule around without you asking, he has answers to questions before you can even ask them, he has fresh flowers on your desk weekly, pokes into your meetings to pretend to hand you a file that’s really just maybe a single document in a manilla folder with candy on top of it—he’s made himself your business, your partner; he’s made himself irreplaceable, and he loves to remind everybody of that fact.
he’s also extremely loyal. sure, he could day a week’s worth of work done in about a day, but that doesn’t mean he’ll just use his talents for anybody. he’s your secretary, so he’s at your beck and call, and everyone knows it. they know he’s the best, but also that he’s off limits—not because you won’t share him, but because satoru won’t let himself be shared.
he also extends his duties beyond work, of course. when he hands you a print out of your schedule for the day and you’re confused by the three-hour block of time you have in the middle of the day, satoru just helps you shrug your coat of your shoulders and smiles, “that’s for the lunch date you have with me, of course!” hanging up your coat in your closet for you, “i’m paying, see you soon, sweets.” and because you’re great at your job, and satoru helps you be great, nobody really questions when the two of you have time for a 13-course tasting menu at 1pm on a tuesday afternoon. and if they did, all satoru would say that you two had a lovely date
#anonymous#he's like donna from suits but worse because he's like if harvey were donna LOL#i have soooooo much to say about him#he doesn't really Have to work he's a nepotism baby supreme#but he met you maybe in undergrad? and he's been obsessed w you since#he knows youre a workaholic so he's dutifully sat by your side all these years through college through grad/professional school#and when you told him you got to hire your own assistant he was the very first applicant#because getting paid to spend his days with you and take care of you? he was already doing that for free might as well make it official#everyone in the office knows satoru loves you except you honestly#he probably has his own masters/JD but elects to be your assistant anyway bc that's so much more fun#what he Really wants to be a househusband but first he's gotta ask you out and propose and all that good stuff (cue him rolling his eyes#and going on about formalities and boring systems and blah blah blah)#also in the office au in my head: nanami (also senior partner) higuruma ofc <3 beloved (managing partner) and TOJI!#WALK WITH ME!#its honestly probably satoru's influence that gets toji into law... as someone who so feverently broke it in the past#idk maybe there's a megumi situation that makes gojo be like yk if ur this good at skirting/breaking the law youd probably be half decent#at enforcing it... or at least helping other people get around it too#and so lawyer toji is born#does he screw around w the rich people who r stupid w their money? absolutely#but you nanami and higuruma just let it be bc he brings in those settlements better than anybody else....#hmmm... i kinda wanna make megumi somebody's associate but also..... yuuta.....#i think i just like sticking yuuta in a tie if im being real#but anyway... satoru is your Work Husband and everyone knows he wants to be your real husband#but they just let it slide bc rumour has it even tho hes just a secretary hes got equity in the firm?? and besides that his heart eyes give#away his hopeless devotion from a mile away#the day you actually start seeing somebody outside of work... oh theyre in for Trouble#satoru x reader#him dragging you out of ur office late at night and u protesting so he just. puts u over his shoulder#and ur telling him to let u down but he's insisting u go home and then nanami pops out of his office#and ur like wait nanami this isnt what it looks like but he's so dead in the eyes when he just sighs
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deeply refreshing to see someone critical of Swift who also like, genuinely likes her. Like i'm neutral to positive on her, but the online discourse has been absolutely rancid. flipping between "Taylor Swift has never done anything wrong ever and she's a fucking genius" and "Taylor Swift is the worst lyricist of all time and also a bad person" is exhausting, so thank you for like. nuance or something lmao
not to make it serious for a sec but i genuinely think that being able to like things that are bad is really important. like I think that it's an important skill to be able to look at something and see what you personally enjoy about it and then take a step back and acknowledge that objectively it's flawed. and to also be able to acknowledge that liking something isn't necessarily an identity or a moral stance. and i think that fandom space in general could really benefit from more people taking the time to learn how to do that. it's okay to like things that are bad
#people ask me sometimes why ill occasionally talk about something i like and then go 'but it's bad' and the answer is usually because it is#i love teen wolf. i love genshin impact. i love detective conan. and i fucking LOVE taylor swift. that doesnt mean theyre good#it just means i like them. and recognizing their flaws actually helps me better identify what i like about them!#it's like. in my mind bad > good is the x axis and i like it > i dont like it is the y axis yk. they're not mutually exclusive#tldr it's not that serious. we can all relax a little#irt taylor swift i do also think she has done some real harm to her fans in enabling them to deflect all criticism of her as misogyny#and i don't think it's fully the fault of these people who are parroting that response bc so much of her marketing has deliberately#reinforced this idea that to be a swiftie is to be a part of a sisterhood and that any attack on taylor is an attack on all of those women#who are in that in-group. when that's obviously not the case. but she's marketed herself as. for lack of a better term. 'girl music'#to the point where it makes her fans feel as though any criticism of the music or the woman responsible for it is an attack on their#personal experience of womanhood/girlhood/sisterhood/etc. and that's how you get all of thess bad-faith accusations of misogyny#i don't necessarily think this was her deliberate goal with her marketing tho because like. on first glance such a strong sense of communit#among fans sounds like a great thing. the friendship bracelets i got at the eras tour movie are really genuinely special to me.#but it does present a problem when your fans are unable to separate how they feel about the community and experience your music has fostere#from how they feel about you as a person. especially when you are a billionaire who absolutely CANNOT be above criticism in this economy#anyway. tldr i love taylor's music and i don't think swiftie hivemind is as deliberately malicious as it may seem#but it's obviously necessary to be able to take a step back and look objectively at what you're participating in.#anyway stream ttpd or don't idc <3#taylor swift
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Look what came through the mail today! The letters & ( •̀ω•́ )σ 3 little gremlins from letterstoear.
Just wanna say i adore the flower stickers on the letters too much, they are that much worth mentioning.
#letterstoear#nui#twst#twisted wonderland#sebek zigvolt#malleus draconia#twst grim#mod posting#okay but i love squishing the bears with my thumb; they just have the right thickness to be pressed on#i really like the flower stickers; they look like romantically artistic wax seal#the letters are pleasantly nice#i love the part where cheka personally request for an audience with yuu thru sebek 🥺🥺🥹🥹 too cute hnggh .......#sebek becoming our little mailman for our little invitation aw 🥹 for those who wanna know the context of the letter;#i requested a letter from sebek that he sent home while he was away accompanying malleus on other country duty#my other favorite part is just him simply opening the letter with 'My love'#i'm sealed 🥹 the first paragraph is written so sweetly#i enjoy reading the letter slowly outside in peaceful afternoon today; i ran it through together with sebek nui#this will be my treasured keepsake from now on 🥹; it seriously made me miss letters and wish i have someone to send this kind of letter to#it was a bit funny how the envelope sebek's letter came from is sticked with the guys from free! sticker fhsdsh 🤣😂#and me with the white haired guy like WHo are u?? fsjdsdjsd (´つヮ⊂); but it's a really nice service#the thank you letter came with such a cute and yummy folding paper; thank you for the stickers too#i feel like there's a bit whoopsie on grim's winky eye fshfh like i think the sharpie just blurs the separating space '<' supposed to have#and just combine it all together into one angry eye; and sebek bear's eyes are just a little bigger than i expected it to be#but the more i look at them i think they are just having a little individuality & still cute#i embraced it all together while knowing the fact none of handmade thing would always be the same one with the other; hehe sebek nui has fr#i kinda forget that there's this kind of clip earring fshd; because i always get the ones that work like screw from aliexpress#i know that the literal clip one would just be literal meaning of pain fsh; just like the magnet one my father once got me when i was a kid#it was painful but pretty; tho i lost it quickly bcs magnet easily get loosed once one part of it moves around when u touch ur hair or face#anyhow i had a pleasant day because of this; thank you very much ! sebek nui said 'thank you' too! ‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚. ❀ ✿ 𖤣…
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YO! Being a drawing, what’s there to be afraid of!
#can you tell which iteration currently has a chokehold on me#1996 is such a fresh remix on the original im loving it#ngl that first arc almost lost me cuz of how annoying hong hai er was but it started growing on me near the end so I stuck it out#I will say tho that the love interest arc just pissed me off#thank god the love was onesided and she died at the end#I actually did like yan yan as a character but girl GET UP. HAVE SOME DIGNITY!! I DONT CARE WHO HE IS YOU SHOULD NEVER BE DOIN ALL THAT#FOR A MAN#I love this show but it does NOT pass the Bechdel test lmao#I gotta calm down I ranted enough about this arc to my friend - so hard in fact that I got a white hair from it#it physically aged me im never forgiving those goddamn spider demons#journey to the west 1996#journey to the west#journey to the west fanart#jttw sun wukong#sun wukong#jttw#jttw fanart#digital art#my art#im on the mpreg arc now which im so pleasantly surprised that they decided to shoot cuz every other iteration is too much of a pussy to#can’t wait for the group birth#if they don’t show hole on my screen and let me see the baby come out like im King Louis XIV of France this entire thing will be a flop#no exceptions#im also pissed about the tiger general becoming more girly and changing her whole character for a crush girl get UP
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"I think this is the most inhuman; and human, that I've ever felt.." MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR. IN FIVE YEARS. A DECADE. imagine how much can happen in a century. just ONE (1). How will you grow? what phases do you find? even in 5 years, you will find patterns.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#jrwi the suckening#arthur bennett#HEY SO THE REALLY FUNNY THING THAT THE CHARACTER DID THAT SEEMED RLY SILLY N GOOFY IN THE MOMENT?#LIKE THE WHIPLASH BETWEEN SERIOUS N SILLY ALMOST PISSED YOU OFF? WHAT IF I FOUND A WAY TO MAKE YOU SAD ABOUT IT#this was meant to be a scribble that would be a bigger part of a bigger page.might leave it on that page.#but still. bc o that i nearly posted it onto my wacky side blog.BUT NAYY I SPENT TOO MUCH TIME N ENERGY N YOU GOTTA SEE IT#ARTHUR BENNETT DRIVES ME CRAZY. I FEEL LIKE ITS ODD FOR HIM TO BE SO TECHNOLOGICALLY OUT OF TOUCH#WHERE HAS HE BEEN. HAS HE BEEN IN WAR? IS THAT WHERE MAGNUS CAME FROM? WHERE WAS HE WHEN HE WAS WITH EDWARDS CREW?#ARTHURRR I HAVE QUESTIONS ARTTHUUURR!! HEY CAN I ALSO ASK; WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BECOME#DO YOU THINK HE HAD ANY IDEA HE WOULD VEER CLOSER AND CLOSER TO THE MONSTER HE DESPISES. ALL BC HE DESERVES IT. OR WATEVER#HE FASCINATES ME SO MUCH. TO LOOK AT THE STONE COLD STOIC FOOL FROM THE START OF THE SHOW#AND TO FIND OUT THAT HE USED TO BE A BAD BOY.. A DELINQUENT... A LIL PRANKSTER.... MY GODDD THATS ADORABLE#I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW MORE.... BUT I DOUBT THE LAST EPISODE IS GONNA ANSWER THOSE QUESTIONS..i love arthur bennett so much....#AS FOR THE ART!! i mostly used the fire alpaca watercolor brush. tbh im not a brush guy. anti aliased default pen tends to be my main game#but LATELY IM SQQQUIRMIN OUT OF AN ARTBLOCK so expirimenting like this is helping#DONT LOOK TOO HARD AT IT!! im still proud tho. colors are fun :3 im also very proud of the backgrounds#I LOVE THE CARTOON THING where the background looks all fancy n painted but the characters are solid colors#what else can i ramble abt. OH YEAH. i looked up the bikes to make sure they were time accurate tehehehe. 1913 to 2012.#almost a century apart!! isnt that neat? ALSO FUUUCK CAN I JUST MAKE A QUICK CONFESSION. DOWN HERE IN MY TAGS.#only the strongest can read my tags anwyay. SO I REALIZED WHY I LOVE ARTHUR SO MUCH. TIME IS A FLAT CIRCLE#while arthur is a Stoic and Cool vampire w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORs#THERE HAPPENS TO BE A ROBOT FROM A BAND W A TITANIUM ALLOY SPINAL COLLUMN#WHOS A Stoic and Cool ROBOT w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORS#the fuckkkiiinnngggnn The Spine from steam powered giraffe. WHATEVER. i cant escape from my heart. i guess.#i think The Spine and Arthur could be friends. Arthur saw the band perform back when they were the Steam Man Band#EDIT: WOOPS I DIDNT REALIZE THIS WOULD END UP IN THE SPG TAG. HI GUYS DIDNT KNOW U WERE STILL ALIVE SORREE 4 THE CROSS CONTAMINATION
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Some of y’all portray John Dory as so old and yeah he is older and you can do whatever you want forever as an artist or writer but he is 30 years old and yall draw him like his pushing 50
Mans got one foot in the grave and the others going in the second he his 36
Bonus:
#my art#dreamworks trolls#trolls 3#trolls#trolls john dory#trolls band together#also i would like to say im not upset or anything by this#age is like weird when it comes to how its displayed on peoples faces#like bramch is 24 and has crows feet#its also neat how everyone seems to have aged fine and by that i mean looking their age#except for branch and for some john dory#and those two are the ones who spent a lot of time isolated and (most likely for john) depressed#and like yeah loneliness and sadness does age you#physically mentally emotionally#so it is like natural that john would look and feel older than he is BUT#not by decades dude#cuz like yeah branch has crows feet but he also still looks somewhat his age#you can tell the wrinkles in his face are from frowning not from age#tho like i do love peoples personal designs and takes#theyre all very unique#i just thought this was funny#and also it kind of needs to be said#cuz people act like once you turn 30 its all over but dude thats when your life is really beginning in that#you usually finally know who you are you know#like one of my friends hes 29 and like hes living the dream dude just doing what he loves and its so nice#and im not saying he has it all figured out but he has enough that hes setting a pretty damn good example#and hes only just begun you know he still has so far to go in life#we joke that hes old but again its all jokes#i just dont like that people think your life ends at 30 cuz you still have about 50 years left#but yeah anyway moral of the story 30 isnt old and you still got a lot more life to lead before you crumble to dust have fun live well
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Man I wish we got more of the turtle tots especially their “slightly older turtle tots” designs, because they are so cute
#rottmnt#yes I say this because I was rewatching a scene of them to tell if my deleted post was actually wrong lmao rip my dignity#tho tbh I don’t think what I said was entirely incorrect if you interpret the footage differently but I def forgot some parts rip#but tbh it would have been more of a theory to play with than fact like I’d misinterpreted/misremembered so to the trash that post goes#(ty again to the person who pointed out that I may have misunderstood lol I really do appreciate it)#anyway YEAH I love the turtle tots they’re so cute and small all of them#squishy little cheeks#the scrunklies#i am way too tired to be allowed access to the internet right now but I wanna emphasize how cute they are#their little faces…not a thought behind those eyes
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Racism and misogynoir are so apparent in fandom, especially when it comes to shipping because why is it when a white male, sometimes female but I see it more with the former, character is on screen with a love interest, particularly woc, especially if they're black, and even with all the emotional scenes or just moments where they look at one another in ways different from the rest, it's met with "No, they aren't dating/the show is not going to put them together" but let the other love interest be white as well and suddenly it all makes sense? Heck, the examples I mentioned above don't even have to exist between the latter for some to STILL go and believe this rhetoric (eg. some Jace and Helaena shippers because, even if these two only interacted with a dance but yet we see Baela console Jace, after he seeks her out, apparently it's to far fetched to believe that Jacela could be a thing?!)
Sometimes it could be a headcanon that, largely, would make sense (and oftentimes was birth due to lack of respect that the poc characters could have been given by the writers *cough* TVD *cough*), and yet you'd still have people dismissing it left and right and spewing hate. At a HEADCANON! And I'm not saying that just because the other person in the ship is poc that you have to ship them, I'm not, but it's very apparent to many poc fans in fandom that unless the characters are swapping spit and doing the nasty, the possibility of them being viewed in any romantic lens feels too much of stretch even though their white counterparts don't have to jump through the same loops.
#fandom racism#and even if the characters are already together in some way you still have some in the fandom picking a part every little thing#and don't let it be a love triangle either bc even tho the main consensus is supposed to be rooting for one side#if the other happens to be poc you can BET that their will be racial undertones from the fandom used as “justification”#(mark/amber/eve even tho mark is half korean but even with that some fans still viewed him as white and used that even more to hate on amber#and use a lot of misogynior) i remember those dark days in that fandom#from the early days until the ends of the westallen to jacela its so apparent especially when the love interest is black#and its not only jace/helaena shipprs that do this but cregan/sara shippers as well#and this is coming from someone who doesn't even mind jacelaena (prefers jace/hel/baela tho)#dont even get me started on the star wars fandom & how the idea of finn and rey was too out there l#and how much racism finn & john boyega had to deal with as a result#and i just know the same will happen with percy & annabeth when rachel is added (as someone who ships all three of them too)#like you can ship whomever you want but at the same time don't ignore/be apart of this racist and hateful rhetoric#jacela#sydcarmy#percabeth#westallen#bc its the way that this can be applied to SO MANY fandoms and ships that it's exhausting#finnrey#bamon#klonnie#kennett#tvd#pjo#star wars#hotd#the flash#for queer stories too bc ill never forget how some acted about dare me even tho the afro latina character was literally being groomed!#so many examples to many to name 😭#stefonnie
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binding vow
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#megumi#fanart#jjk fanart#done....collapses#up until 3am last night n sitting fr another 8 hours today to finish....#g o d#the things i do fr him.....#let it no longer b said that i only do elaborate paintings rife with symbolism tht feature gojo. megu my one true muse#as is Correct and Just#real talk tho i was just sketching th things i wanted to include without giving much thought to the Themes#w the exception being the spider lilies lmao I Know What Those Mean#but i ended up with a REALLY good life/death/marriage/loyalty thing going on????#w the lotus/spider lily being purity+rebirth/death#((not 2 mention 'far from the one he loves' like HELLO?????))#also w the temari balls being associated w femininity but having him dressed in groom's attire#like???? 90% unplanned but i ended up both cooking And eating#also happy 2 report that betta fish were kinder 2 me than the koi were :) no trouble from these lil guys#in fact everything abt this piece kind of came easily beyond the initial colour swatch??#thank u fr being an easy subject megu ilysm im sorry abt all the death imagery i dont mean it pls focus instead on th Life imagery :((((#i put a ring on it so u gotta wake up.....cant leave yuuji @ th altar ....#SPEAKING OF THE RING IK ITS ON THE RIGHT HAND we've been over this and its Okay#if i read a single comment .........#sorry 2 that one person who was like 'the next binding vow better be at itfs' wedding' ik this probably wasnt what u meant#but it did inspire me smile :)#anyway i need 2 stop looking at this its been over 24 hours
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gymnast kaito x sharpshooter shinichi meet-cute in the olympics au
#kaishin#i can already hear my brain going BUT SOCCER PLAYER SHINICHI RAAAAAAHHHHH#but shapshooter shinichi tho cmoooon CMOOONN#yall have seen the olympic athletes yall have seen the flavor#i saw yeji and yusuf and im like OKAY SHINICHI SHARPSHOOTER#also gymnast kaito this is canon in my brain idc#i would love to see kaito's floor routine like pleaaaaaseeee#also that one epke zonderland london 2012 high bar routine but make it kuroba fucking kaito RAAAAHHH#also also in my mind shinichi would only wear glasses and he'd affectionately call it 'conan'#idk a whole lot about the olympics and either sports so im not confident enough to make hcs#thats why im just yapping here LOL#might binge watch some olympics related videos and articles later idk#yell some hcs for this au at me I'd love to know!!!!!!#dc prattles#ALSO FUN IF KAITO GREW UP IN PARIS AND HE'S REPRESENTING FRANCE WHEWWWW#but it's also fun if kaishin are both team jp and theyret meeting for the first time yippeeee#akai would be shinichi's coach maybe 🤔#also i looked it ip and apparently karate was removed from the official olympic games FUCK but WE DONT CARE BECAUSE#OLYMPIC ATHLETE BESTIES SONOSHINRAN MY BELOVED I WILL FIGHT FOR YOU#anyway sonoko in gymnastics ran in karate and sharpshooter shinichi WOW WOW WAIT MY BRAIN HAVING A MASSIVE ROT RIGHT NOW#oh you just know sonoko does all those tiktoks with a shy but excited ran and completely forced to participate shinichi LMAO#kaishin meet through sonoko ofc 👀👀👀#sonoko and kaito are besties too and are familiar with each other for both being in the gymnastics scene#anyway kaito and shinichi meet and kiss and fall in love#ALSO SHINICHI THIRSTING OVER KAITO'S MUSCLES LMAOOOO#AND KAITO THIRSTING OVER A FULLY CLOTHED SHINICHI POISED FOR A SHOT LIKEEEE#oh they wanna makeout real bad i fear#ALSO KAITO IS THAT ONE ATHLETE WHO KEEPS STEALING THE CHOCOLATE MUFFINS IN THE OLYMPIC VILLAGE LMFAOOOO#the tiktoks of that guy was so funny lol i just know kaito would do the same#you know what maybe I should've just typed this on the post and not on the tags but it's too late now LMAO i want more of them tho omg 😳
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can a therapist explain why my mom saying she loves me and doesn't mind having me around during this extremely prolonged and fruitless job search because she loves me and just wants to make sure my needs are met makes me SOMEHOW feel worse about being an unemployable little shit?
#me#like.... i love my parents#but i think i love my parents too much to have them keep watching me waste time and be depressed all day#okay maybe not waste time i do do stuff and i'm writing but#definitely depressed all day#been on the brink of tears for three days thinking about how another year is about to end without anything substantially changing#about my life#no job no place of my own no plans no boyfriend#i might get a cat tho!#and my problems are also minuscule compared to other peoples' but i'm also the only one who lives with those problems so
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reading Krakoa era out of order bc reading lists online make it confusing and my local library only has so many books
just as god intended right on my friend you're doing everything right and don't let anyone tell you otherwise
#snap chats#the key to reading comic books isnt to read them in order or even all of them just the ones you like#until eventually someone tells you some wack as hell fact about an issue and then you go read that one#many such cases why do you think i picked up onslaught revelation. cause that fucker is back#why do you think i picked up wolverine number 3 because my beautiful wife is hammered for two pages in it#brother was just talkin to me casually bout onslaught one day and i was like NO FUCKIN WAY thats how you do it !!!!!!!!#like the first krakoa story i read technically was resurrection of magneto followed by the trial of magneto#clearly we see i had an agenda vjALKJKLAJ BUT STILL#it was STILL a really good run ... i could piece together enough of the background before then and really enjoyed it on its own#with that said tho it was very cool/funny to see crumbs Of trial of magneto in way of x#BUT NOW I HAVE LEGION OF X HAHAAAA i cant wait to properly sit and read it ..... after i get through my New Mutants issues ....#i got those a while ago but i kept putting off reading them ... oops ..... i read the first one at least#i was gonna say something but i forgot. oh no i didnt i remember thats what i love about comic books#because theres So Many and so many timelines and stories it invites a lot of community interaction#just to be like 'oh hey did you know This happened in This issue you should check it out'. thats beautiful#even if. its to talk about utter dog shit like she lies with angels BUT STILL ITS COMMUNITY !!!!! we can be lovers AND haters together <3#its why i love getting physical comics too. i mean i dont have friends or people who visit me LOL#but i like the idea of bringing up what i have and letting people borrow it. community ......
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