#about my life

[afro-elf]

can a therapist explain why my mom saying she loves me and doesn't mind having me around during this extremely prolonged and fruitless job search because she loves me and just wants to make sure my needs are met makes me SOMEHOW feel worse about being an unemployable little shit?

[peppermintmochafem]

Attempting to live up to my url and girboss femme reputation and bake a peppermint mocha cake between meetings for one of my lovers birthday wish me luck that it turns out good 🫶🏻

[lizbethsletters]

letters | 023

𝓭𝓮𝓪𝓻, 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓶𝔂 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮

Should I even call you that, I mean you aren't even in my life right now and you might never be again. When I see someone that does something you would've done like balance a pencil on their mouth I feel my eyes start to water but I blink them away because I shouldn't be feeling like this when I broke up with you. Your eyes that were always filled with love and happiness would look at me with anger and hurt but I would do anything to even see your face. I still love you and I get flashbacks when anything reminds me of you, it feels like we are back to that exact moment and talking about anything. When in reality, we don't even speak and you aren't even in my life. I want more than anything to just see you even from a distance a glimpse anything to even know that you are okay that this didn't break you. I'm telling myself that if it's meant to be we will see each other again and we will have a second chance that it means we truly are meant to be but realistically, it won't happen. We live in different states and live completely different lives there's no way for us to bump into each other. I want to pick up the phone call you and just hear your voice, if you sound mad, nervous, or even sad I just want to hear your voice. You mean everything to me but, I might mean nothing. This sounds harsh but I want you to hate me because that means there is no going back that you truly hate me that we truly are done. In some messed up way, I have no way to heal because you aren't here but it's like you never even existed. I miss you more than I need oxygen. I love you more than my body needs water. But I don't have you and I feel like I might be dirt on the floor for you. I love you but we aren't anything. I'm sorry for breaking this off but it was the only option for you to move on and be happy and have someone to be there for you. There's one song that reminds me of you called "De ti me enamore?", I love you. I wish I could send everything that reminds me of you instead of making it into a folder on my phone that just says love these instead of just sending them to you. I love you so much. I'm sorry.

𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓼 𝓽𝓻𝓾𝓵𝔂,

𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓰𝓲𝓻𝓵 𝓪𝓷𝔂𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 :(

[delusional-ninjago-fangirl]

> be me asuming my mom is homophobic

> buys book I Know has gay characters anyway

> mom asks to borrow the book

>I give her the book thinking I'll take it back when the gay moments come

> mom reads so fast she overtacks me

> mom gets to the gay part befor me

> mom says "I think boy1 is in love with boy2, their're really cute"

> me supriced mom isn't homophobic

》 never jundge your parents

[flowerandblood]

✨ meet your author ✨

Hey, it's me, my nickname is Hagi! I live in Poland and write stories for you in my free time. For several years now, I have been the happy wife of a wonderful man who supports me in my silly hobby, as in all other aspects of my life.

You can read about me, him and our relationship on my side blog @godilovemyhusband. ✨

I use a lot of feelings and experiences from our marriage in my stories, above you can see our wedding photo! If you have any questions, feel free to write to me, I will be happy to answer! I love anon asks. 💐

[skullsandsunflowersxx]

follow my tiktok!!! @ BrianaMcEvoy

[runejinx]

More about me:

Cereal and cookies fr.

•My favorite YouTubers:

T3ddy

Mr.Beast

Felca/felquinha

Jazzghost

Oli Natu

Matheus Erd

Kaikeflex

Mori Mura

•FANDONS:

Hazbin Hotel

Helluva Boss

The Amazing Digital Circus

Inside Out

Murder Drones

Everybody Hates Chris

True beauty

Chikn Nuggit

Pokemon

Mundo do Torajo

Tmnt (2012/2018/2023-4)

WolfWalkers

Spooky Month

[heytheredelulu]

The name’s Stark, Sj Stark.

Welcome to my blog.

I’m a 31 year old aspiring author with a love for all things Marvel.

By day I’m a mother & wife, working a 9-5 and by night I write smutty fanfiction for the beautiful people of the internet.

I’ve been in my field of work for many moons now & while I absolutely love what I do, my dream since I was a kid has always been to write a book.

So here I am, procrastinating again while I indulge myself by writing MCU fanfiction.

I’ve been enthralled with the MCU since I first saw Spiderman in 2002 when I was 10 and only became more and more obsessed with the release of Iron Man in 2008 when I was 16. Spiderman and Iron Man are my two great loves (aside from my two children of course), going as far as having the arc reactor tattooed on my body.

Maybe one day I’ll finally sit my ass down and write that novel I always say I’m working on.

But for now, it’s a beautiful day to save eyes..

and a perfect night to write smut.

xoxo

💋 Sj

[le-panda-chocovore]

Going off the "writing JJK smut on company time" post from earlier, I got curious for a little Panda lore (only if you feel like sharing).

If you don't want to share what you do for work that is totally fine, but do you enjoy what you do?

If you could have a dream career, what would it be?

Also! Do you post most of what you write, or are there hidden Panda archives the world has yet to discover?

P.S. Should we call you Panda? 🐼

Yes Panda is perfect !

My answer ain't going to go well with the post I made but I work in a school 😅😅 Well, to be clear I am not currently taking care of the children, I used to but not anymore. And I didn't write/look at smut when I was still doing that, I only started when I began the behind-the-office stuff. We're not allowed to be on our phones/computers when we're in charge of pupils anyway. Right now I just take calls and read emails.

I was studying to become a PE Teacher but I kinda gave up halfway through because ADHD was messing with my brain and I couldn't manage College anymore, so now I'm wondering where I can go from that. In all honesty my dream job has always been being a camp activity leader (I think that's the english name??) and it is still the thing I would love to do. But it doesn't pay well and it only works for holidays so I had to settle for something else. I just enjoy working with kids and playing sport to be honest, I'm not really greedy or ambitious.

Oh there's plenty of works I haven't published yet. I already have several WIPs on AO3 and Wattpad and I'd like to finish them before posting another one but my brain keeps having new ideas so I always end up stop working on the current fanfictions. It's frustrating. That's why I rather post my stuff once it's already complete but again, my brain constantly works against me. He tells me "you already wrote half of the fic, you can start posting it and then in a few weeks/months you'll be done" and it never happens that way. I'm tired of myself.

I think I have 15 or so Assassination Classroom projects, 2 MHA, 5 JJK, and maybe 1 MCU sitting in my drafts that just wait to be edited and published. Anyway, if you want to check my AO3 it's just there, but it's mostly AssClass content for now

[fireflys-things]

Давно тут не было

Раньше было яркое чувство - хочу все написать, передать свои чувства и мысли. Сейчас желание остается но совсем нет сил что то писать чаще всего. Слова не складываются, как так... Непонятно почему но на планшете тамблер не поддерживается в горизонтальной версии и это еще один минус - мне не нравится писать где то в другом месте... Еще один минус - я очень сильно зависима от внешних факторов, если нет атмосферы я не пишу. Просто не могу. Что изменилось за это время? Я переехала в Санкт-Петербург. Этот город всегда был самым любимым и значимым для меня, хоть и не родной. Каждое лето я работала в Петербурге и мечтала, что перееду. И вот...я здесь уже 2 года.

[terroristis3638]

Yo. I just want to tell you a little bit about my life. So, I want to say that I've wanted to do sports for a long time, especially the fact that I had some problems with physical education at school. So tomorrow I decided that tomorrow I will immerse myself in sports life. And today I went to the hairdresser so my hair is even shorter now >:).

Also, I MAY soon start wearing lenses instead of glasses, because to be honest, it's not very convenient for me to wear glasses.

[mysteriouseggsbenedict]

The Terrible Tale of Frances' Crazy Roommate

Okay folks, I've landed upon the motivation to type this out. This is the terrible tale of my crazy roommate whom I lived with from September 2022 - May 2023

Further context of the living situation: this was a duplex rental unit that housed 4 people (so I had two other roommates in addition to the crazy one.) The way we ended up living together is as follows. I had lived in that same unit the previous year, but all 3 of my other roommates wanted to move out for various reasons. I did not want to have to move, so I found some new people to come and take their spots in the house. The two non-crazy roommates approached me first about living together and we were like “great, let’s do this,” and just needed to find one other person. The crazy roommate is that one other person— so she was kind of like a last minute add-on.

(Also, for ease, I’m going to refer to her as Jill.)

We had no issues living together until February 2023. This is one of the really surprising parts of the situation to me, because usually when you have a conflict with someone, it arises more immediately than that. But we had like five months of living in peace.

The problems started in February and they centered around the issue of our garage. The duplex came with a two-car garage and three of us had cars. That meant that one person had to be parked outside at all times. In order to distribute the garage resource, we created this chart where we each had rotating assigned days to park inside. We started the rotating chart in November because prior to that only Jill had been using the garage. It did not have an automatic door opener so we needed to get out and manually lift the door up— this was annoying and me and my other roommate didn’t feel the need to bother with it while the weather was nice. When winter arrived we started to want to park inside and hence the chart was created.

I knew Jill preferred to park inside every day, but I didn’t realize it would be something that would cause a huge interpersonal conflict until it actually happened. 

We had a cold snap in February and Jill texted our group chat asking if we can have a talk about revising the garage chart. She told us that her car has issues starting when the weather is very cold, and as a result, she needs to be parked inside all the time. When this happened, I was already mildly annoyed with her, because she had been acting differently. When we met her and first moved in, Jill was a very extroverted, bubbly, loud, friendly type of person. But as we got into February I noticed her just being kind of rude and snappy for no apparent reason. She’d respond to me in a grumpy tone if I tried to make conversation with her. It didn’t make me extremely concerned because I just brushed it off as her having a bad day.

However, because she had already been annoying me, I wasn’t feeling super generous when I got her text. It was a very demanding text where she essentially told us she’s entitled to the garage and we need to let her have it. My thought process was something like “well, we all split the rent equally, so who does she think she is to be telling us what to do and bossing us around like this?”

I did feel sympathetic about her car issues. I remember feeling really torn because I wanted to do the right thing and not be mean to her, but I also just really, really did not want to feel like a doormat who has to cave to whatever she demands of me. I texted my other roommate privately and asked how she felt about the issue. My other roommate told me she also did not feel good about letting Jill park inside at all times, and that kind of cemented in me the decision that I wasn’t going to let her have this without meeting about it more intentionally. We had not actually had the meeting that Jill initially asked for. So, I told her I’m happy to meet and talk about it some more so we can come to a compromise, but for tonight I’m going to stick to our current rotation agreement which had me inside and Jill outside.

I came home from work that night and parked in the garage. When I went upstairs to my room I could hear Jill kind of huffing and stomping and making aggressive noises in her bedroom (we shared a bedroom wall). This honestly really scared me because it was midnight, I was laying in bed trying to sleep, and I was hearing these banging noises from her room. It made me feel unsafe and scared. Eventually I fell asleep.

The next morning comes. I come downstairs and make my breakfast and sit in the living room to eat. Jill comes down and goes out to the garage to put something in the recycling, then comes back inside and starts to yell at me for parking my car too close to the recycling bin. So she stood there and berated me for a bit and then stomped off. My other roommate was also in the room and witnessed it, and after Jill left she was like “you didn’t really do anything wrong, she’s just in a bad mood.” 

I then went back to my room to finish getting ready for the day. But before I could get out the door to my morning class, I got a text to our group chat from Jill. She told us that her car wouldn’t start and she wanted help to jump it. Then before I could do anything else I heard more stomping and loud crying. Jill came back from outside and returned to her room and started yelling, screaming, sobbing, and just generally making lots of really loud and aggressive noise. 

I was hearing all of this going on and I was honestly scared out of my mind at that point because she was clearly having some kind of mental health event. I texted that I didn’t feel safe with the way she was acting in the house and so I didn’t feel like I could be around her to help with the car. I could hear when she received that text and it made the yelling and sobbing worse. She yelled some things that were directed at me like “fuck her” and “she’s so mean” and “I told her!!” I could gather that she had called someone on the phone and was trying to explain to them what was happening, so she was insulting me to whoever was on the phone.

I do not handle yelling well. I essentially shut down. So I was having a panic attack of my own at this point and I felt trapped in my room. I texted again that I was going to leave the house because I didn’t feel safe, and she screamed “THEN GET OUT!!” as I was leaving. My sweet other roommate was still just witnessing all of this so she tried to comfort me and told me I hadn’t done anything wrong, which I really appreciated. 

At this point I got in my car and drove to a nearby campus parking lot and just parked and called my mom so I could cry and explain what was happening because I was having a meltdown. I didn’t end up attending class because I knew I would just start crying. 

After all of the dust of this day settled I was thinking that probably Jill would cool off, get some time away to clear her head, and then we would be able to repair things productively. It was clearly a really explosive, intense breakdown type of thing, so I was hoping things would cool off and she’d apologize for how she acted.

This did not happen lmao. She doubled down when I told her I wasn’t going to talk to her until she could be respectful of me and the home environment. She said that I was not respecting her emotions by stating that it wasn’t okay for her to blow up in the way she did. It was like “I hope nobody ever makes you feel like you’re wrong for having emotions…it was really disrespectful of you to criticize me for how I felt…” Also she said that it was wrong of me to be upset about her yelling because “she did it in the privacy of her bedroom.” I do realize that she was in her room, but she was screaming at a volume that probably the entire neighborhood could hear, so the notion that she could have expected privacy is kind of ridiculous. 

The next day (roughly) Jill removed herself from our group chat and said that she wouldn’t be communicating with any of us for the time being because she needed to care for her mental health. So we just heard her stomping and yelling and acting aggressively inside the house, but didn’t actually talk with her. In the meantime I saw my therapist and explained everything that had happened so far.

After a few days she rejoined the group chat. Me and my other roommate proposed that we set up a meeting with a counselor on campus who could help facilitate a discussion. Jill said she would not agree to doing that but she would talk to us in our house. I didn’t feel comfortable with this because I felt like I needed a mediator, and I was suspicious of the way Jill wanted to talk to us with nobody else around but wasn’t okay with having a mediator. 

In the end, there was never any formal discussion of what had happened. After a bit we all just started moving on as if nothing had happened. 

After this event in February, there weren’t any more giant explosions of similar caliber, but things were never really good with Jill for the rest of the year. I felt really uncomfortable being in the same house as her. Being in her presence made my body so anxious I would shake and just feel really afraid. I started rearranging my schedule so that I was spending more time out of the house, and I learned her work schedule so I could plan to come home after she had already left, etc. It put a really big mental strain on me to be dealing with this fear and anxiety related to just existing in my own home. It was miserable and I would not wish it on anyone.

For the rest of the spring there were a few more times when Jill antagonized me. One time I heard her talking on the phone through the wall, and she was saying mean things about me to the person, essentially complaining that she has to live with me and saying I’m horrible and stuff. Another time she criticized me because one of my dishes had not gotten fully clean in the dishwasher and she was mad that I hadn’t cleaned it more before putting it into the dishwasher. 

I will also mention that Jill was an education major and now (presumably) teaches elementary school. She works with children. I am as horrified as you are about this fact. It also did impact how she spoke to me— I noticed she would be very condescending because she talked to me in a way that sounds like how one would speak to a child. She was probably trying to transfer things she’d say to an unruly child and apply them to me. It just kind of makes me think that she viewed herself as having power over me which makes me really uncomfortable. 

At the end of the year, after distributing her portion of the housing deposit to her, I immediately blocked her on every platform. I now have no idea how she’s doing in life. I hope she got fired from her first teaching job or something like that.

[lizbethsletters]

letters | 040

𝓭𝓮𝓪𝓻, 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓶𝔂 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮

For the past week, after I told you that I was gonna go to on vacation for a week you've said only "blank" days till you leave. You get mad when you miss me and knowing when I leave makes it worse. I love you with everything in me. When I recently realized that you couldn't take compliments for anything, when your eyes look pretty, I say "your eyes are so beautiful" and your eyes dart everywhere with nervousness and smile before putting the phone down because you got nervous. When you get nervous the immediate sign is that your eyes dart everywhere and say "CHILLLLLL" it's adorable. You tend to get nervous from just looking at me. I'm so in love with you, you can't even believe it. You notice when I get tired and you tell people to shut up so I can sleep. One day, I'm going to write all these letters down and give them to you or make you a whole book, learn how to book bind just for you. I would do everything in the world for you to hold you, kiss you, see you, just do everything with you. I'm not going to lie to you when you asked what when we were gonna have paint dates, coloring dates, pottery dates; my heart broke completely because truly we never know when we are going to do anything like that. I told you about a folder I have of all the things I want to do with you and you wanted to hear some so I told you. I love you and I miss you so much.

𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓼 𝓽𝓻𝓾𝓵𝔂,

𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓰𝓲𝓻𝓵ᡣ𐭩

[sanjisprincesss]

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ About me!

HIIII!!! I go by star on here! I am 21 years old and I’m a black writer. I am bisexual female (she/ her/they/them) and I love writing about fictional hot characters. My favorite characters to write about are Nanami Kento(jjk) Geto Suguru (jjk) Trafalgar Law (op) and Sanji (op). I’m currently in the wano arc in one piece. And in jujutsu Kaisen I’m currently writing the manga. I also enjoy anime’s like my hero academia, bleach, hunter x hunter etc.

Don’t be shy to message me on my ask or dm me. I love to talk and get to know ppl on here!

[jen-with-a-pen]

Hi everyone

I doubt anyone will actually read this, but this is just my little shout into the void in regards to a huge life event :)

I graduated college today.

Okay so I actually graduated in December, but I got to walk with my friends and have my family see me and all that.

I have waited my whole life for this and not many people outside of my partner and best friends know this, but I almost didn't make it.

Last year, and ever since, Ive struggled heavily with suicide and suicidal ideation. I thought I wasn't gonna live to see my 21st birthday, let alone my graduation. On top of being the oldest daughter and first gen kid of my parents, a massive pandemic and isolation, and debilitating mental health (thanks Zoloft fuck you), I'm honestly amazed I made it.

But I made it, though. I made it out alive.

I've been fortunate enough to have been working full-time in my field since January, alongside my partner of 5½ years finally getting to move in with me. I am in no way bragging or turning my nose up at others, but I do want to acknowledge my privilege and place in life right now that puts me ahead of others that I graduated with. I'm extremely fortunate to have even found work, let alone doing what I love and for a good cause.

I'm just proud. Proud of myself. And my body. And my brain. We made it here. I made it here.

This really didn't have an end goal message or anything. I just needed to get it off my chest.

Here's a pic of my kitty cat if you've made it this far. And my university stole. Hopefully I didn't just doxx myself lol

Anyways, thanks for reading. Hopefully I'll be writing more soon. Who knows? Life is fucking weird.