#all my settings had reverted to default :(

[ontarom]

A moment of discrete tenderness between the spymaster and the King of Orzammar, aka the Hero of Ferelden, during a visit to Skyhold.

A couple months ago I played DAO with a noble dwarf and I really fell in love with him. He ended up being a great fit to romance Leliana, I think: very honorable and gentlemanly, but not without his sins (he has fathered two kids, which Leliana knows about and is okay with, but he's mortified by it)

But now I'm mad that Leliana gets introduced as "mistress to the King/Queen of Ferelden" in the Winter Palace, if she romanced a human Grey Warden, but not as "mistress to the King/Queen of Orzammar". Maybe it depends whether on you put Behlen or Harrowmont on the throne... Bleh, anyway, my headcanon is that Duran Aeducan came back and took the throne after Harrowmont.

Also yeah I REALLY simplified the crown of Orzammar because the real thing looks cumbersome as hell.

[y-rhywbeth2]

D&D Vampire Lore Dump #1

Feeding and Diet It's actually more complicated than just "they bite you and eat your blood." Plus what they're able to eat; how often they need to eat; what happens to you if they bite you and what happens to them if they don't feed- spoiler: it's unpleasant. Incidentally, you should reload and kill Cazador again.

(I was comparing stuff across editions and compiling it into something more coherent and then figured I'd info dump about it in case my fixations are useful to somebody out there.)

DISCLAIMER: There are two things to note about the lore presented here: First, while the standard stat block in the monster manual is the default, in terms of lore vampires have this annoying tendency to be incredibly, stupidly varied. They are magical monstrosities ruled by the power of symbolism and superstition above anything else.

The next is that D&D is decades old, spans five editions, several settings and hundreds of writers. One guy establishes a piece of lore, and then the next picks it up goes "nah" and writes something else. I collected info from four different source books, all from different editions, which naturally don't entirely agree on how vampires work. Lore never stays consistent and may contradict itself. You may see information somewhere else from a source I don't have that contradicts what I wrote here. If you read this and like some of this stuff but not other bits, take the good and ditch the rest.

Basically, in D&D, canon is what you decide it is.

Feeding | "Biology" | Hierarchy | Weaknesses and Cures | Psychology

They only need to feed once in a 24 hour period. Vampires can survive between 3-9 months of starvation, but it's a terrible idea. -

There are three different categories of "Undead Hunger." Vampires have two of them and actually need to consume more than one thing to stay "healthy": Blood and life force. -

The blood is obvious. This is categorised as a "diet dependency." It's required to preserve their bodies and powers, and without it their powers* are suppressed as their bodies begin to shut down. *This refers to the powers a vampire gains with age; they cannot lose power they had as a newborn (the base stat blocks given for vampires and spawn given in the monster manual) A vampire requires the equivalent of 12 hit points of blood a day, or it begins to revert into a corpse-like state. Mentally they slowly regress into a desperate, mindless animal frenzy where they'll kill and drain anything containing blood they can get their hands on. Ultimately, if they don't get any blood then they revert into a corpse and they're trapped in their own body as it begins to wither and mummify. They're trapped in a coma, vaguely aware of the passing of time in flashes of awareness until somehow they are fed blood. If they ever wake up again, they will probably wake up feral and absolutely ravenous. -

Vampires rely on the victim's blood pressure to expel blood from the wound they create, lapping and mouthing at the wound rather than actually sucking on it. Being bitten is a highly pleasurable experience that victims can't help but desire, even when they know they shouldn't. -

While the damage done remains, the wounds from a Vampire bite closes itself quickly after the feeding (assuming you're still alive). It does however leave a mark. The bite mark itself is often "less than half an inch in length", and leaves behind a significant bruise that causes no pain or sensitivity to touch. Other side effects include fatigue and a weakened immune system. -

Vampires typically target sleeping victims (less likely to fight back) and favour the blood of their own race above others. So theoretically, Astarion finds elf blood tastes best. -

Drinking animal blood tastes bland and is health-wise akin to drinking tainted water: yes it might keep you alive in desperate times, but it's ultimately bad for you and will probably make you ill. That said, it has no mechanical detriments and a vampire that's forced to live on animal blood will be just as strong as its kin, but considerably bad tempered about it. -

A vampire's secondary feeding requirement is called an "inescapable craving", which means that if a vampire doesn't get that fix then their hunger begins to devour them instead. The pain is described as a spike boring into the vampire's brain, obscuring their awareness. They begin to obsess over feeding to the exclusion of everything else, they become willing to take ridiculous levels of risk to stop the hunger as they become more and more desperate. As they are consumed they become progressively more feral until they're just a rampaging mindless horror driven only by horrific hunger. For vampires, their inescapable craving is life force, which a vampire leeches from their prey through touch leaving the victim weak. Direct skin contact isn't required, if you're wearing full plate and/or the vampire is wearing gloves and they lay a hand on you they can still drain you. Mechanically these were combat abilities, energy/level draining occurred when a vampire struck a target with their own body (usually their hands). Before 5e hit them with a nerf bat, vampires could permanently weaken you this way (you could lose character levels from this). 5e also seems to have rolled life drain into the biting, so a vampire can consume your blood and energy at the same time. -

Post feeding, a vampire starts to look alive. Their skin is flushed and warm and they feel elated and energetic. In contrast, a vampire that hasn't been feeding properly becomes more corpse like and feels "sluggish" (I'm interpreting that as flu-like symptoms). It's purely emotional however, the vampire is no less capable and dangerous and suffers no mechanical penalties. -

Vampires can feed on other vampires, which is actually more filling than living humanoid blood and gives them the ability to communicate telepathically for a few hours. They don't like it though. If a vampire drinks from another vampire then they can be controlled by that vampire and the link forces them to feel affection for each other against their will until it wears off. The results of both vampires in question feeding on each other is described as "debilitating" since they both paradoxically become enslaved to the other's will and forced to "love" each other creating an absolute dysfunctional mess of control, obsession and resentment. The good news is that it only lasts a few hours. -

Some vampires can eat regular food (no nutritional value in it for them) while others would regurgitate it if they tried. As they retain their tongues, vampires can also taste food. That said, it's a bad idea for them to eat garlic, even if they can eat solid food. -

Some kinds of vampires don't drink blood. There's all kinds of weird and wonderful stuff a vampire might be required to consume instead. Spinal fluid stands out. Or the bit about ones who drain the ocular fluid from your eyes. Gale might find interesting things to talk about with the magic eating ones who prey on mages. They're much less common, probably something to do with most people not finding that very sexy. I don't think any of them exist on Toril.

[anachronisims]

How to EFFECTIVELY Use Empty Standby List to Reduce Flashing and Crashing

This tutorial is for TS2. Obviously. This is virtually the last "chapter" of advice for the Pink Flashing Survey Report (still forthcoming as a single readable thing but posted in bits and pieces over the last six months). PS it's a lonnnnnnng post. Ctrl+F "tldr" for the very short version once you open the cut.

"Part 1" of the Empty Standby List ("ESL") tutorial was already written comprehensively with screenshots by Digi at her wordpress. Following Digi's tutorial will get you set up with ESL as a routine automated background task your computer runs, typically every five minutes.

@gayars set up two instances of the routine, each running every five minutes, staggered two/three minutes apart. In other words, task 1 runs at 12:00, task 2 runs at 12:03, task 1 runs at 12:05, task 2 runs at 12:08, etc. However, I found that this negatively impacted the graphical performance of my game, notably by having the ESL task window flash over the game window, which I had never seen before, nor since reverting back to a single 5-minute task routine.

Anyway. Go do Digi's tutorial if you haven't already; I'll wait.

Background on Why this Matters

So, now your computer will be wiping the standby memory every five minutes. The thing is, this won't be able to have much impact on your game unless you wait to let it wipe before you do a major loading action.

Major loading actions are, in general order of strain (most to least strenuous):

Loading a full neighborhood.

Loading a large (3x4 or bigger) populated lot.

Loading a large unpopulated lot.

Loading actual CAS, if you have a lot of non-defaulted CC.

Loading a medium (3x3) populated lot.

Loading a medium unpopulated lot.

Loading a small (2x3 or smaller) populated lot.

Loading a small unpopulated lot.

Loading CAS catalogs from within a lot (e.g. using FFS clothing tool, "Change Appearance" on the mirror, shopping for clothes/trying on clothes on a community lot).

Turning up your lot view settings (generating other lots' lot imposters within your current lot)/panning the camera around.

You should already be doing at least all medium- and large-lot loading with the Lot View Settings Juggling Method, and “uint LotSkirtIncrease” removed from your userstartup.cheat - otherwise whenever you load a lot you are compounding the strain by also having the neighborhood load at the same time.

Using Resource Monitor Effectively

If you watched the Jessa Channel tutorial on flashing, she recommended downloading a third-party RAM usage monitoring software. This is unnecessary. For purposes of reducing your crashing, all you need is the native Windows program "Resource Monitor" that she also recommends.

To open it:

Click the Windows symbol/start menu.

Begin typing "Resource Monitor."

Click Resource Monitor when it shows up.

Once it is open, get to the useful information:

Click the "Memory" tab.

Make sure the "Processes" and "Physical Memory" subs are fully open, as above.

Sort by "Commit (KB)."

Each time you reopen Resource Monitor, it should restore your last view settings, so you won't have to repeat these steps.

While Resource Monitor is still open, "Pin" it to the taskbar so it will always be readily accessible.

Right-click the icon on the taskbar.

Click "Pin to taskbar."

If it says "Unpin from taskbar" you have already done this step :)

Now comes the monitoring part. You will focus on the dark-blue "Standby" block of the bar graph on Physical Memory.

Every fifth minute, when the ESL task runs, this will flash down to 0 and then pop up to about 30-75, depending on what you are doing. It will go higher faster if you are doing stuff, obviously, and hover pretty low if your computer is just sitting still. TLDR the remainder of this tutorial: only take stress actions when Standby is below 100.

As we all know too well, TS2 has a 4gb RAM limit. The problem is, TS2 seems to count the memory that is in standby, too, not just the committed/working set. Thus, before you take a major loading action (that is going to push up to 1.5gb into Standby), you need to wait for Standby to wipe so the game doesn't accidentally think it's using more memory than it is. Got it?

This is how much RAM my game is using when my neighborhood opens, pretty closely zoomed in on any particular lot. If it is zoomed out further - like a whole city block - both committed and working set are easily over 2.2gb. When I pan around the neighborhood, it continues going up. Portions of the hood that go back out of view seem to get relegated to standby, but yes, my game has crashed just from looking too much at my neighborhood from too wide an angle. Unless I slow down and let ESL run before moving on to the next section.

Six months of diligent Resource Manager monitoring has resulted in substantial reductions of crashing and flashing on my first hood view load and first lot view load. It is not 100% guaranteed, but it cuts it back to Very Playable Levels. And when I have tested the theory by purposefully not letting ESL run before a stress point, it always flashes and/or crashes within the next couple minutes.

SO! Here's what I do when I'm launching my game.

Because of overheating concerns, I always fully shut down my computer when I'm not using it for more than an hour. If I have been playing and experience a flash or crash, I will restart before trying again. @infinitesimblr, a survey Respondent who reported virtually no flashing or crashing despite a vast CC catalog, also recommends restarting between using Bodyshop or SimPE and the full game. I have found it may make a difference with Bodyshop (which I use too rarely to make a pseudoscientific claim) but that I have found basically no impact going from SimPE to the game. YMMV.

Immediately after Windows is done loading, I open Resource Monitor and wait a few minutes. Often background updates begin running and the Standby bar goes crazy - sometimes filling up the entire available RAM - and I just let it sit and do its thing. (Usually I start the computer right before my kid's bedtime so I am not actively waiting on it or anything. Go take a shower or make a sandwich or drink some water, like you did in the old days when the game itself took 20 minutes to load.)

Once the standby bar levels out and is consistently peaking no higher than about 250mb between ESL wipes, after the next ESL wipe, I will launch the game. (Usually between logging into Windowsat the beginning of storytime and checking Resource Monitor before we go do tuck-in, it is reliably hanging out below 100 unless a big TS4 or Windows update was downloading.)

Reminder: do not delete thumbnails anymore prior to launching the game. I also have turned off RPC's clear caches option and have observed faster loading times with minimal increases in crashing.

After the neighborhood selection screen comes up, wait for ESL to run again before opening your neighborhood.

If you have continue to have more than VERY sporadic hood load flashing after taking these steps, you should try launching into a subhood if you have one, then pivoting to the main hood if that's where you're playing that session after yet another ESL wipe. If that doesn't help you simply need to thin out your hood or accept the flashing. (I ended up deleting about 25% of my deco trees and 10-15 outer-lying lots that will be re-placed in a subhood.)

After the hood is loaded, navigate to the lot you want, but DO NOT actually load that lot until ESL runs yet again. Ditto for CAS - Do not select "Create New Family" until ESL has run again.

Play should be proceed as normal at this point. You probably don't need to alt-tab back to Resource Monitor again unless your sims are going traveling or you are changing play lots.

BONUS TIP #1: You can put a shortcut to the ESL routine on your desktop and push it manually (just double click the icon) if you don't feel like waiting once the game is loaded. I have had imperfect results with this vs. just waiting the five minutes, though, because the game wants to run through some stuff and flush it. But it's an option for you to experiment with.

BONUS TIP #2: If you have a really deep clothing/hair CC catalog, try to avoid using the FFS clothing tool option where you select every outfit for the sim, and their hair and makeup, at the same time. Instead, choose individual outfits by type and use the regular mirror option to change appearance (or SimBlender has it, I think, so they can do it where they already are).

[bhaalsbabe]

It's interesting to consider that the name "The Dark Urge" wasn't actually Durge's name. It was just another way for Bhaal to dehumanise Durge and have them be the killing machine he wanted; a description of the only part them that mattered rather than the sentimental crap society used; a code-name if you'd like.

Since it wasn't until Durge reached adulthood that they've been taken into the temple of Bhaal and that the Urge finally showed itself, it's very plausible Durge used to have a pretty normal childhood and that included having a pretty normal name.

That name might as well be what you name your Durge at the beginning of the game. And yet, when you "say your name out loud", you hear "The Dark Urge", probably to set you back on the path of destruction. Even while you hear this, however, Durge continues using the actual name (and not this edge-lord silly name their brain supplied): "I think my name is -insert your choice of the name-"

With the loss of memories came the loss of all the indoctrination as well, reverting Durge back to what they used to be as a growing up child, including the skills (hence why, on default, you're running around as a sorcerer blasting everything that moves with fireballs instead of hiding in the shadows and taking out enemies sneakily), and more importantly, the name.

Durge had a way to connect with people again, and not with just their daggers.

(Also imagine this, everyone being forced to call Durge that, and then Gortash comes and calls Durge by their original name, wouldn't it be so much easier for them to form a more personal connection with the Banite)

[dullgecko]

>>my bad kids overstimulation hcs<<

gorgug and adaine both get extremely scared when there's a loud noise. they will scream if they're caught off guard.

Fig needs COMPLETE QUIET in order to focus on her work (which is why she's failing since she refuses to stop listening to music for anything)

Fabian almost never gets overstimulated, so when he does the floodgates open and it's ALL THE EMOTIONS

all of the bad kids HATE talking to strangers. They've gotten better at it through their quests but when they're tired they still revert back to their default settings. (fabian, gorgug and kristen don't HATE it, but still don't like it) but they all deal with it in different ways

Adaine just freezes and goes semiverbal. Mostly nods and headshakes, Kristen covers for her by excessively talking and saying things she... maybe doesn't mean.

Fig gets REALLY aggressive and just starts thinking of MURDER. If she's silent, she's thinking about murder

Kristen wasn't really allowed to stim in their house because their parents would accuse her of faking mental illness (or insinuate Helio could heal them) so now (especially when they're overwhelmed) Kristen cannot stop stimming.

Every. Single. One of them has PTSD to some degree or another. Comes with the territory of being an adventurer and having to deal with some really fucked up stuff on the regular.

Adaines dad used to slam his hands on tables or slam doors shut when he was mad. It always triggered a panic attack instantly and he would berate Adaine and make it worse before storming off and leaving her to suffer alone.

Loud noises in Gorgugs house always meant that something had gone wrong in his parents workshop. He was in the room once when something exploded and his dad got pretty badly burned. Digby was healed up almost instantly but it's a pretty formative memory for Gorgug and he still doesnt like loud noises all that much.

Fig needs quiet to zone in but feels anxious without background noise so listens to music anyway. If she didnt have music playing in her room when her horns first started showing she could hear her parents arguing downstairs so the music was mostly to drown them out. She finds it easier to focus if she's listening to something quiet without lyrics so her 'do work now' playlist is all instrumental.

Fabian can get overstimulated by tight clothing or being restrained. Reminds him too much of falling in Leviathan and getting tangled up in all the washing lines. Especially doesnt like things tight around his throat because of how close a couple of them were to choking him. Tried to wear a turtleneck when it was cold once, lasted about two hours before he took a pair of scissors to the neckline of the sweater in a panic to get it away from his throat.

They try to keep their interactions with strangers to a minimum if possible. If they're specifically there to ask questions and get answers it's Rizs job (with a couple bardics thrown in to cover for his terrible charisma score) because he can do an interogation better than anyone else. Plus he's good at telling when people are lying to him. Otherwise it's Fabian and Fig who are the ones in charge of talking (though they tend to get very off topic if not given a specific goal).

They gave Kristen one of those spinny rings to wear when they noticed she would pick at her skin when overwhelmed. It gives her hands something to do so she doesnt hurt herself.

[basiltonpitch]

Devi vs. David: aka a comprehensive list of every single time ben gross has referred to devi as one or the other (season four edition)

HERE IT IS!!! the final edition of devi vs. david!!! if you're new here and haven't checked out any of my other devi vs. david deep dives, please feel free to check them out here: season 1, season 2, season 3. you can also find all of my devi vs. david ramblings here. and as i've said again and again and again, this is a list of every single time ben refers to her as either devi or david, this time in season 4, with context + insight + my own lil insane thoughts, because i'm 100% totally normal when it comes to this topic (they said, like a liar).

heads up, not all of the netflix captions are accurate, or the whole quote wasn't all in one frame, so if the font looks different in any of the following screencaps, it's because i captioned them myself.

i already noted in previous analyses, as well as in this post, that ben tends to go for “david” during their rivalry and their friensdhip, as opposed to when they’re estranged/fighting etc and when they're in more...well, romantic situations, he defaults to “devi.” i’ll go a little more into this towards the end, but it’s just something i’d like to bring to your attention before i get started.

anyways, here we go!

hmm remember when i predicted we would get a “devi” first this season because of the months of distance and miscommunication? and when i thought it would happen immediately after devi sees margot kiss ben? i may not have had all the details right, but i saw this coming from a mile away. and this also fits into the pattern i thought was going to be established: season 1 we get “david” first, season 2 we get “devi,” season 3 “david” and now in season 4 they’re finishing the pattern with another “devi.” they’re in wildly different places in their relationship in each of these instances, which i go more in detail about in this post where i predicted that we would get a “devi” first this season.

anyways. this use of “devi” has me hurting for both of them. they’ve got this - this chasm of months of distance, of zero contact, of miscommunication and misread feelings and misrepresented actions (“he was clearly embarrassed for me.” vs “it was so clear she that thought it sucked. she got up and sprinted out.” i love my two unreliable narrators devi vishwakumar and ben gross!!). i’m having a lot of thoughts about devi’s intentions here that i…probably won’t go into further detail about, lol, because this post is about ben. so. of course he reverts to “devi” here - they aren’t friends, right now. they aren’t really rivals right now, either - i mean, they always will be, of course, but that’s not the focal point of their relationship here. they’re talking for the first time after three months of radio silence, of ben creating this rift between them because of some bullshit advice after misrepresenting what happened (okay like. i’m not here to hate on ben - i just. it’s his fault. it’s literally his fault). he can’t call her “david” because, as i’ve said before, “david” has turned fond. they aren’t friends, they aren’t rivals, they aren’t lovers. so, “devi.”

(didn't include the first "devi" he says to get her attention in this scene, sorry.)

okay this is. basically bouncing off the last one - he can’t call her “david.” they aren’t close enough for that, not right now - they won’t be for some time this season. but he’s also trying to set the tone of the conversation, a more mature version of the one they had in the beginning of the episode. and i do applaud him for this, for owning up to all of this being his fault, too (which. i don’t think all of it was, honestly - there is blame to be placed on devi and on margot over what happened this episode, but the 3 months of no contact? ben’s fault, 100%). big props to him for apologizing. however still a little salty about him internalizing those words from mr. basketball player all those months ago, because dude did not have all the info when he gave ben that advice. but to be fair - ben is a seventeen year old with low social skills (not faulting him for that because like. same) so i sympathize with him a bit there. overall, based on where they are in their relationship in 4x01, i was really pleased with how this convo turned out especially since the spoilers we were given from the premiere made it look so much worse than it really is.

hm. remember how that last convo of theirs was pretty mature and low-conflict. yeah then they give us this. ben’s…exasperated. within reason, i think - and to be clear i don’t think devi’s really in the wrong here, it’s just…he chose to be with margot because he thought it was the easier route. he distanced himself from devi because he thought it would be easier. but it’s not. of course it’s not - he and devi both still have all these messy feelings for each other that they’ve been pushing down and suppressing and denying. and it’s tiring. being around devi while he’s “““moving on””” is tiring. being sucked into drama over and over is tiring. he wants - or thinks he wants- something calm, and easy. -and like. it would be fuckign easy if y’all just got your shit together and admitted your feelings but that comes later so we’re moving on for now-

okay so. as i’ve said in my previous posts, it doesn’t make sense for him to refer to her as “david” to other people when she’s not around, so we’re not going to explain why he said “devi” here - that’s a given. but this whole scene…he kinda let devi get into his head before talking to margot. like, from the characters’ point of view, not ours, it definitely seems like margot had the most motive to deface her car. i mean ben straight up says, “you did have a good reason, so i could understand why you might.” and this isn’t me digging at devi for thinking margot did it, or ben for second-guessing margot, or anything like that - it’s just like. objectively. it does seem like margot could have done it. so i get where ben’s coming from.

okay so…we know that that is. false. a lie. an untruth. et cetera. bouncing back to the first instance of “devi” in 4x02, this, once again, makes me think that ben is just…trying to make things easier, calmer. he doesn’t want to deal with devi’s drama right now (again, not dissing devi, just explaining his pov). interrupting her with, “listen, devi,'' to get her attention, to shut her up because he just…can’t do this right now. he’s conflicted - he cares about devi so deeply that it’s detrimental to him at times, and after the events of 4x01 and 4x02, he thinks the best thing to help him keep “““moving on””” (bc like. i’ve touched on this before but there is no moving on for him when it comes to devi) is to go back to silence and estrangement. back to how they were over the summer. back to how they were in those few episodes of season 2, even, just with less vitriol. so, “devi” to further that distance - earlier in the episode, he says, “we are friends,” but here, he’s all but saying, we can’t be friends, not anymore. not now. maybe not ever again.

following this up with:

the thing is…he does look sorry. he doesn’t want to lose her again. it hurts her, yes, but it also hurts him. but like i said - this is easier for him, for right now at least.

oooh this brings me back to 2x08, “devi, you’re daisy.” ben, currently dating a girl that’s not devi, while still having all these complicated feelings for her, relating her to the material they’re currently studying, after she almost became the reason said girlfriend had to leave sherman oaks (temporarily for margot, of course, but still) - it’s not an exact copy/paste, obv, but i’m loving the parallel. also brings me back to 1x02, “it’s okay, devi. i know how hard it is to memorize seven facts,” the same tone being used then as it is now - although with different intentions, of course. ben is - bitter, i would say. of course he is. this whole situation is just…really reminiscent of that 2x05 to 2x07 arc, although with a bit less anger - they’ve got not just their rivalry and (currently, failed) romance behind them, but also those months of real friendship they had during season 3. there’s even more history between them to contend with now, which makes it harder for him to be angry with her. he still is - just not to the same extent as the s2 aneesa situation. 

remember when i said ben stopped talking to her to make it easier? yeah. i honestly totally forgot he says exactly that until i got to this scene while writing this out. “it’s just easier this way. she just always complicates things.” just - ouch, ouch, ouch. this is just me reiterating everything i’ve already said, i guess. does he want to push devi away right now? no, i don’t think so. but it makes things less complicated for him. devi is messy, yes, they’ve established that well over all four seasons - but this isn’t really about how messy devi is, is it? he tells margot that it’s because of devi, and it is, partially, but it’s also because of him. because he and devi clash. because he and devi mesh. because, at least right now, it is so hard for him to separate all these things he feels - angry and disappointed, yes, but there’s this - wistful, i want to say, feeling there under all of that, this pull he’s always going to feel with her. and he’s not in a place where he can let that go unless he cuts her off.

god i do feel for ben here. i wish they had brought back some of the stuff from last season with him…chilling out more when it comes to academics and all that, but like, this is ben gross we’re talking about here - one intestinal blockage and heartfelt convo with his dad isn’t going to erase over a decade of self-set high expectations. dude is stressed, literally sweating through his clothes and now he looks like someone squirted a bottle of french’s on him.

and amongst all this, comes the last person he wants to talk to right now - he smells like sweat and acrylic paint and he just had his girlfriend judge the spiel he’s probably recited in the mirror a hundred times (which like, in all fairness to margot, it did feel like a bowflex commercial). and now here’s devi, all calm and collected with her power blazer and bouncy high pony - looking like the opposite of what ben’s feeling. he’s already frustrated, and her showing up makes it that much worse - until approximately two seconds later when she saves his women’s medium sized ass.

episode 5’s you never disappoint do you. i love, love, love this conversation between ben and devi - this vulnerability here, the way they tell each other that they’ll be okay, that yes, this is scary. our lives are about to change forever - but you’ll make it through. you’ll survive. you’ll thrive. 

and this line…this so much. ben knows who devi is, has been in proximity to her for twelve years at this point, as a rival, as a friend, even as a lover for a short stint - and he knows her, and he knows that she knows herself. maybe - no, definitely - she didn’t know who she was before, drowning in fresh grief, but she’s grown, she’s healed (not completely, but she has healed nonetheless), and ben has had a front row seat to that. he has watched from up close as she became the person she is now. he believes in her, and he knows she can believe in herself, too.

i promise i’m feeling so totally normal about this…remember when i said i thought the first “david” would be at the end of 4x05 during reconciliation? i do, and, surprise surprise - i was right, because ben gross is nothing if not consistent (most of the time, at least). this “david” is driving me insane. they just had this heartfelt discussion about their fears with going to college, reassuring each other that they’ll be okay, fucking…pep talking each other, because they know each other better than they know anyone else, and ben drops a “david” like it’s nothing. like it’s easy. like he means it!!! i’ve said so many times that “david” has turned into this term of endearment almost exclusively used during their friendship, with ben avoiding using it when they’re not friends, and after last episode, where it had been verbally established (by devi, at least), that they still aren’t friends…now he slips a “david” in. this is the closest, the most vulnerable, they’ve been with each other in months. this is ben taking that step to pull them even closer - ben feeling safe enough to do so. this is ben saying, “i can be your friend,” thirty seconds before he actually utters those words.

okay full disclosure, “david” isn’t in the official captions on this one, so like, idk if jaren decided to add this day of filming or what - but whatever. that doesn’t matter here. what does matter is this absolute effortless slide back into their friendship. ben going out of his way to approach her, to tell her the good news (well. it’s not really good news for devi but like. he doesn’t know that, so). he’s excited for her!!! he gives her this boost of confidence (and yes i know it doesn’t last long, what with the deferral email coming in that day but. still.)

ooooh the way i love this scene!!! the fact that we get to see this interaction through paxton’s eyes is just delightful to me. like, okay, i’m not a “he’s mean to you so he likes you!!” kind of person, but banter like this coming about while they’re actively friends and post-bargot (bengot? ragross? ykwim) breakup…it’s thinly veiled flirting, and idk if we would have been given that perspective if this scene had been shot from devi’s pov, or ben’s. while this isn’t the first taste of mutual banter we’ve got all season (looking at you, 4x04 bathroom scene), this is the first friendly mutual banter, and god we were starving for it - at least i know i was. there’s bite behind their words, but it’s playful for both of them!! but like - then there’s the shot of them both immediately fixing their appearance after they’re no longer in each other’s line of sight (ben tucking in his necklace, devi taking off her cardigan) and i just. ooooh my god i love it. i’ve said it before, and i’ll say it again - peak crush behavior. and ben isn’t even posturing for paxton here like he would have before, thanks to the literal shitstorm of 3x06 - ben’s only…well, acting up, i guess i would say, for devi. not anyone else. 

(and like this is totally unrelated but god do i wish we got more bexton interactions this season, but oh well.)

hi yeah no i’m still not over this scene. it’s. so unapologetically horny and it’s a side of ben i’m honestly so glad we got to see. like, okay, we already know he messed around a little with shira, had (bad) sex with devi, and is canonically a boob guy, but this more in-depth peek at his desires (cough cough degradation kink cough cough) is just…chef’s kiss. yes this is devi’s show first and foremost but god do i love the looks into ben’s brain we get. and this - this desire for devi, this want for her, something he can’t run from in his subconscious no matter how hard he runs from it in his waking hours - yes, it’s a wet dream, but it’s more than that. trent says it: “...you really love her.”  ben loves her. he can’t get her out of his head. he wants her - physically and emotionally.

let’s, for now, ignore that this is moments before disaster. god, the look on his face, this eager, hopeful smile, the fucking bouquet he brought for her. he’s riding the high (ha, get it) of trent’s earnest pep talk, ready, for the first out of multiple times this season, to tell her he wants her. he’s done denying it, to himself and now to her, too (which. the latter obviously doesn’t really happen for another few months - but that’s beside the point).

this instance is pretty self-explanatory from ben’s pov (i mean, that’s what y’all are here for). checking in that she’s okay after seeing her throw up, congratulating her, etc. not spending too much time on this one - just noting the, once again, effortless slip back into “david” after the events of last episode. not saying there’s not some inner turmoil going on for him regarding his feelings for her; even though we can’t see it, it’s still there - but birthdaygate (as nalini called it) was…a disaster, to put it lightly, so. back to “david” it is…for now, at least.

god this followed immediately by the “is she okay?” and then ben rushing off to go check in on her…i’ll touch on this more in the next instance, but like. he’s truly the only one who gets how much this would hurt. not saying that no one else understands how devi feels, but he’s the only one who would really, truly get it if the same happened to him. just - the wondering how she didn’t get in anywhere, because she’s just as smart as (and, technically as 4x10 proves with that valedictorian sash, smarter than) him.  the immediate concern for her, the need to check in...god, he cares for her so much.

“But you’re not a quitter.” bringing back the “no one knows them better than they know each other” thing - because it’s true. no one knows devi better than ben knows her. he knows what she’s capable of - has been on the opposing side of it for over a decade. he has won against her, lost against her, won with her, lost with her…he’s seen her rise and fall and pick herself back up to rise again. he understands her, and he understands why this is so painful for her - if it were him, it would feel like twelve years of hard work, of early mornings following sleepless nights, of flash cards and meticulous notes and extra credit projects, all being flushed down the drain. he gets it, gets her. this being the first use of “devi” (to her, and not in a dream sequence) since 4x05 - he uses it to set the tone, to get her attention, to get her to listen to him. because he knows she doesn’t really want to give up. and he as much as says that: “but if you don’t try everything that you can, you’re gonna regret it.” she already knows this - there’s no doubt in my mind about that, and there’s no doubt that ben knows that she knows this. she just needed to hear it from the one person who understands - and it worked. she does try - and, as we see in 4x10, she succeeds.

this…this is the biggest break in his pattern when it comes to “devi” vs “david.” he never refers to her as “david” with a - romantic isn’t the exact word i’m looking for, but it’s the one we’re gonna use - romantic intention. i think he’s using “david” here to sort of…ease the tension, so to say? to lighten the mood a bit. he wants to tell her - has wanted to since trent told him to speak his truth, likely longer than that. but after birthdaygate - he doesn’t want to show too much of his hand. “maybe i was wrong, david.” not “i was wrong, devi.” 

feeling especially attached to this use of “david” tbh. the excitement he feels for her, immediately rushing to pull her into a hug, how proud he is of her, especially after the events of the last episode. again, he knows how hard she’s worked for this, and he knows what it’s like to feel all of that hard work pay off. she’s not alone in feeling this satisfaction - he’s feeling it with her.

 i loved, loved all the callbacks to the previous seasons, and this is no exception. the addition of “david” here brings me back to this post by @catty-words that i’m still thinking about almost two years later (and have referenced in 2 out of 3 of these analyses): “it’s a relic from their rivalry.” obviously cori goes into it a bit differently in that post because it’s about their season 2 arc, but to re-work that line here: the equatorial guinea nametag (i would say plaque but like. it’s a piece of paper) is a memento of their first time teaming up, but it is also a relic of their rivalry in a way - the initial anger of devi infiltrating his club, the temporary alliance that was struck down just hours later, the nuclear attack. and so, yes, “david” here is used as that mark of friendship, as i’ve referred to it before, and so is the nametag, but they’re also both a representation of their enmity - albeit in a much more playful way than the "david" from 2x05.

i’m going to refer you to the genius of rae @ice-sculptures real quick, who had this to say in regards to ben’s patterns when it comes to what he calls her: “it could be that he “hides” behind david when the lines of their relationship are blurred and uses it as a way to convey the affection that he doesn’t think he can openly express. but when they actually get together he doesn’t need to hide anymore bc he knows that she’s aware of how much he loves her…so devi is enough.”

y’all. devi is enough. he doesn’t need to use a term of endearment, a pet name, with her here. he doesn’t need to hide behind “david.” and like. just in case you aren’t aware - “david” means “beloved” in hebrew. i’m sure ben’s aware of that - he’s a giant nerd, and he’s jewish - it never gets established in canon, so it may just be something we’re all collectively reading into, but like. i’m obviously going to continue reading into it - he doesn’t have to hide behind “beloved” anymore, he doesn’t have to use this roundabout way to tell her how he feels - he can just say it. and he says it without even knowing if she feels the same way. he’s following trent’s advice from 4x08: “you must go to her. [...] you must tell her how you feel. there's no time to waste. [...] you must speak your truth. she needs to know." he flies to her on a whim to tell her he likes her. actually, he thinks he loves her, “devi.” he loves her. this is the bravest thing he’s done - he doesn’t know how she feels, doesn’t know if she loves him back - but he tells her anyways. he can’t wait. it doesn’t matter that she’s flying to the east coast the next day, where she’ll be a two hour and six minute train ride away. he has to tell her now. there’s no time to waste. she needs to know.

god. i just - i love that they already had this - this whole soft, sweet love confession, full of shy, gentle smiles and giggles, followed by The Big Damn Kiss of All Time (and like. the big damn bang of all time) and he still feels the need to tell her that he wants to be with her. that he wants to start this next chapter of life with her. and there’s just…something so important to me about them not being high school sweethearts. about them not really giving this an actual shot until they’re headed to college. he doesn’t want “let’s kiss at our lockers in between periods and sit next to each other in the cafeteria while we eat gloopy square-shaped pizza.” he wants “let’s fall asleep on facetime during exam season. let’s spend one weekend in new york and the next in new jersey. let’s meet in the middle. let’s cram ourselves onto a twin-sized dorm room bed that’s definitely not made for two people. let’s learn how to be adults together. let’s give this a real try. let’s give us a real try.”

and so they do.

and with that...we're done. if you've reached the end, thank you for reading! i'm so sad that this series of posts has come to an end, but i've had an absolute delight doing these, and i'm so pleased with the ending of this show - because it didn't feel like an ending. it felt like a new beginning. i'm going to miss never have i ever (i already do), but i'm so happy to have spent the past few years yelling about it with all of you - and i'll likely continue yelling about it in the near future.

[aropride]

how to install dashboard unfucker (for desktop)

hi i use desktop and i use the dashboard unfucker extension by dragongirlsnout and you should too because it's awesome. i don't know much about computers so it was intimidating to set up but ended up being really easy.

but first:

what is dashboard unfucker?

dashboard unfucker is an extention that makes being on tumblr bearable again.

(ID: 2 screenshots of tumblr with urls/posts etc censored. the first is with the new layout, with labels on the left, the ad-free button, "check out these blogs," "explore all of tumblr," the radar, and no easy way to access your own blog. the second is with the extension enabled, the left hand side of the screen is empty, posts are wider, navigation icons are back at the top right, and the only thing on the right-hand side of the dash is the dashbaord unfucker and limit checker and tag replacer from xkit. end ID)

i got it for layout changes like these- the first is cramped and ugly and i feel like i'm on twitter. the second is warm and comfy and i can make my posts wider (i dont like all the empty space). (limit checker, tag replacer, and post color were done on xkit and palettes respectively, not unfucker, btw)

with the dashboard unfucker you can:

hide the following/blog subs/for you etc tabs

get rid of the changes/staff picks/etc carousel

hide recommended blogs and tags

add profile pics back to posts

hide the radar

hide the explore page

hide tumblr shop

hide user badges

highlight bots in ur activity feed

show who follows u in the activity feed

make posts wider/slimmer and move the dash posts position to the left/right

revert messages design (and make the messages box bigger)

revert activity feed to the old design

display vote counts on polls

show poll results without clicking (no more skewing polls or "see results"!!)

disable tumblr domains

add polls to reblogs

disable "post without tags?"

show ns.fw posts

and other things that i probably missed copying this from the settings!!

so how do you do it? it seems scary but it's easy actually. take my hand

(note: i did this on firefox and tested it on chrome, i'm not familiar with other browsers, also use firefox if at all possible fuck chrome)

how to install dashboard unfucker

step 1: install either tampermonkey, tampermonkey beta, greasemonkey, or violentmonkey (if you don't already have it)

note: im using tampermonkey as an example because it's what i use

step 2a: go to firefox extensions/chrome web store/your browser's equivalent

step 2b: look up "tampermonkey" and click "add to firefox/chrome/whatever" and confirm

step 2c: you're done! yayyy

step 2: click this link. look under "installation" where it says "Click on unfucker.user.js to install or update". and click that

(ID: a screenshot of the tampermonkey install page, showing dashboard unfucker v5.7.8 installation information, the source code, and the install/cancel button. end ID)

(it should open in a new tab and look like this)

step 3: click install! (when i did this it didn't look like much happened and i got scared. dont get scared take my hand)

step 4: go to www.tumblr.com and to the right of the dash it'll have the dashboard unfucker label to the right!

(ID: the default dash again, but with the dashboard unfucker title at the top right of the right-hand side of the dash. end ID)

step 5: click the little gear icon and all the options will pop up! u can fuck around with em to ur heart's content. i recommend exporting after ur done and saving it somewhere in case u have to uninstall/reinstall to troubleshoot or smth

you're done! now u can see the results of polls without clicking them and other such things

(ID: a poll i have not voted on. it has 17 votes and 23h 56m remaining. the title is "poll :)" and the answers are "answer 1" "answer 2" and "see results". there are no percentage labels, but the amount each answer has is indicated by light blue bars in each result, as they would be if i had voted. end ID) note: i'm not sure how/if this aspect of the extension is indicated for screenreaders

THIS POST IS TRANSGENDER BTW!

[theimaginatrix27]

Calling all AO3 users who are visually impaired or blind and have experimented with site skins! And who use Firefox!

This morning, I tried something I had never tried before. I changed the site skin for AO3.

It was something I had been reluctant to do, as I didn't know the effect it would have, but I thought it wouldn't be that big a deal, I could just change it back if I didn't like it, right?

I switched to the Low Vision Default. I didn't like it—I was trying this to see if my screen-reader would detect bold with a non-default skin. In the Low Vision Default, italics disappeared too. So did most of my menu options unless I clicked on "Hi, TheImaginatrix!", at which point they'd open up again, but looked different.

I tried the other two public skins, with no discernible change.

Then I tried switching back to Default.

It didn't work.

I started to freak out, just a little.

I tried refreshing the page. No dice. I tried restarting the browser. Still the same. I logged out (when I had first changed skin, it said it would only apply for that session), but even logged out, I couldn't see italics with my screen-reader!

Now freaking out more than a little, I restarted the computer, then found the AO3 cookies and deleted them. Even with no cookies in my browser, the AO3 pages still looked the same as when I had first switched to the Low Vision Default skin.

I had already sent a frantic feedback/technical issue report to the AO3 team, but I sent an email to the BlindTech list I'm on, and asked for help on a couple Discord servers. By then, though, I'd tried all the advice they had except clearing all my cookies, and I'm not doing that yet because it makes no sense that cookies from another site would be impacting AO3 and AO3 alone. Also, the last time I cleared all my cookies in a moment of desperation, the problem I was trying to solve had nothing to do with me and I had to run around logging back into things, and occasionally having to wait for a verification code to come through so Google or Amazon Prime would let me back in. In short, I was freaking out enough as it was without having to go through all that again with the very real chance I would be disappointed.

So I kept trying things. I noticed the Reader View in the address bar for the first time, and tried it, thinking for a wild fifteen minutes that I'd hit on the solution, because the Low Vision Default skin could have activated a hidden accessibility setting to allow you to listen to a fic being read to you via TTS. Also, when viewed in this mode, the work text had all it's formatting, including bold, visible to NVDA! But alas, this is a default Firefox feature and perfectly normal and has always been there since it was added, whenever that was. I've literally never used it before today.

The most recent thing I tried was going to the Page Styles option in the View submenu in the Menu bar, and switch from "Basic Page Style" to "No Style". This reverted the AO3 page I was on to something resembling Pre-tampering AO3 (all my user options were back, the italics was back, it looked normal again). The problem being, that setting doesn't save across restarts, and in any case, it's set to "basic style" across the board, so that's not necessarily the problem. I can see italics, and bold, on most other sites (the NaNoWriMo site doesn't show them to my screen-reader either, but that's been the case since the 2019 site makeover).

So my current conclusion is, something's gone sideways with AO3's page style specifically, and I'm 85% sure it's on my end, because if it wasn't, it wouldn't happen when I was logged out, and clearing my cookies would have fixed it.

Unless there's a weird glitch going on with AO3 and even without my cookies it recognises my browser, but with the knowledge I currently have, I'm almost sure there's some option in Firefox I have to find and change.

If anyone else has had a similar experience while messing around with site skins using a screen-reader and/or Firefox, please please please help me I don't know what else to try.

[townofcrosshollow]

Using Git for Twine Games

A while back, I somehow managed to copy the contents of one file and overwrite a different file, meaning the entire section of the map was lost for good. I had to reconstruct it from snippets of prose written in separate documents. It sucked. And that motivated me to try something that would stop that problem from ever happening- hosting my project on GitHub!

Git sounds really fancy and hard to understand, but it's really not! So I'm going to walk you through how to use it to back up your files and do much, much more.

This tutorial expects you to have an already set up Tweego folder and VSCode. If you don't know how to get that started, @manonamora-if has an excellent ready-to-use folder with an explanation of how to use it.

What is Git?

In short, git is a kind of version control. Say you're working on a coding project with somebody else, and you need to work on the same file they were working on. But how do you know you're working on the right version of that file? Maybe they forgot to send you the newest version. Or maybe you both have to make changes at the same time. It would take a lot of effort to manually splice together everybody's changes, let alone identify what each of you had changed. That's what git's job is. Git identifies what has changed about a file, notes those changes, and updates the "main" files to match. That way, everything stays consistent, and big files can be updated easily.

Okay, but what benefit does git provide to you, somebody who's just working on a solo project with very little code? Well for one, it would have completely fixed my problem. Instead of overwriting all of my work, git would have shown me that the file had been changed. Then, I could simply click a button to revert the change. Neat! It also means you can keep working on the same project from multiple locations without losing progress. Say you're working on your game on your home computer, but then you want to keep working on your school laptop. All you'd have to do is "push" your changes to save them to your master file, and then "pull" the changes when you get to school. Neat

The Basics of Git

Okay, but what does "push" and "pull" mean? Git's confusing, but the basic terms you'll be encountering don't have to be! Here's some terminology:

Git - This is the program that goes on your computer to manage your files. It does all of the version control.

GitHub/GitLab/BitBucket - These provide servers you can host your git repositories on.

Repositories - This is a fancy word for a folder that's being maintained by git. Every file in a repository is getting analyzed by git for changes.

Local vs Remote - Your local repository is the one hosted on your computer, and it's the one you're editing. The remote one is the one hosted on a site like GitHub.

Stage - When you stage a file, you're getting it ready to commit it.

Commit - A commit is like saving your progress as a new update. You can go back to a commit later if you messed something up.

Push - When you "push" your commits, git will look at your changes, go into the remote repository, and individually change all of those things in the "main" branch.

Pull - Just like pushing, when you pull, you're taking changes from the remote repository and updating your local one to match it.

Under the cut, I'll show you full step-by-step (with photos!) of how to set up your game with GitHub using VSCode!

Setting Up Git With VSCode

Lucky for you, VSCode has built in integration with GitHub, which means you don't have to download any new programs other than git itself. You'll just have to set it up. A note- I'm not sure at what point exactly in this process VSCode prompts you to install git, because I'm not going to install it on another computer just for this tutorial haha. VSCode will provide the installation, just go along with the default settings and you'll be fine.

So first, make a Github account. It's free!

Now, open VSCode. Here's our project! You're going to want to click on that third button down in the side menu, the Source Control tab.

Under source control, you'll see this option. Click it.

Aaaaand it's done! That was easy, right? Now your folder is a git repository. Crazy!

Before you can put all of this up in GitHub, you'll need to push all of your files. Type a brief message (try "Initializing" to feel like a real cool coder), press commit, and VSCode will ask if you want to skip staging and just commit everything. Yes! Yes you do!

Now that all of your "changes" have been committed, let's publish your new repository to GitHub. Click on the new button that says "publish branch." When the popup appears, click "Allow" to give VSCode access to your GitHub account and sign in. Back in VSCode, you'll see this:

You're probably going to want it to be private, otherwise anyone on the internet could see all of your writing! Which is cool if it's a public coding project that people might want to download and use for their own projects, but if you're not a fan of code diving, leave it private.

Using Git To Help You Write

Now that you've got your folder set up as a git repository, it'll change the way VSCode looks. VSCode is using git's info to know where you've made changes, and it'll represent those changes in the UI. Here's what those look like:

If you click on those lines, you'll get to see this fancy new panel that highlights all of your changes:

So let's say we have a scene, and we aren't happy with how it's looking, but we aren't sure if we want to make one change or a different change. Instead of backing up all of your stuff or copy and pasting it to test it, you can just make whatever change you want and click that backwards facing arrow to revert it back if you aren't happy with it. You can do the same for things like CSS- when you've made some good progress and want to save your changes, commit them. Then any more changes you make will be easy to revert back if they don't look right. Groovy!

Now that everything's set up, it's as easy as committing your changes when you're satisfied with them and pushing those commits to back up your work.

Pat yourself on the back! You just learned (the very basics of) how to use git! You absolute genius!

If you have any questions while following this tutorial, feel free to ask! My askbox is always open!

[lover-of-whatever]

Fandom AUs do tend to lean towards not engaging with the material so much as treating it as a mere prompt to slap any aesthetic on. Swap AUs have become infamous for changing characters into something completely unrecognizable, but I don't think the Au is an inherently bad idea. I think Swap Au's are at their best when the two characters in question are already narrative foils and come from similar backgrounds/can easily be put in the same situation as the other.

My favorite example is kinda cheating because there is kinda basis in canon for it, but it's from one of Don't Starve Together's skin sets, called The Triumphant. The context for it is that upon being placed on the throne that controls the world of DS, you become a pawn for "Them" and they warp you into a worse version of yourself. But it's okay, you get a cool goth outfit and magic powers. Every character gets a super evil version of themselves, all but Maxwell. Maxwell as a playable character had already spent years as an evil pawn, before that he was the timid and dweebish William Carter. His time hanging out with/being used by some weird shadow shit straight up had him take on a new identity. Default Maxwell is already "Triumphant", so in order to have a skin in the set he is instead reverted back to William and literally dubbed "The Untriumphant". This is literally a Swap AU but instead of two people it's Maxwell swapping with everyone else out to kill him lmao. That in of itself is hilarious and more Swap Aus should do that actually, but that's not the example I'm going for.

Wilson is the kinda protagonist of the series, poster boy is more accurate, but he has the most involvement in the narrative for a playable character. As a result the official narrative of the game is that it was Wilson at the end of the first game that freed Maxwell from his throne and took his place. While their roles as protag and antag are loose, esp since Max is no longer the main antagonist but another guy just a part of the ensemble, they were written to have reasons to hate each outside of circumstance. While neither would admit it, they are very alike. Both are stubborn and insist on being gentlemanly, but are ultimately just massive dorks. Maxwell more the former and Wilson the latter, but Max is still subject to the butt of jokes by the rest of the cast and Wilson is literally called "The Gentleman Scientist". Both had ambitions in their respective fields but sucked at them, and when in a moment of desperation They took advantage of their desire's and offered them a trade. Max/William practices magic and Wilson science, and each insist that their. Methods let's call them is superior to the other. Their fighting is ultimately pointless, the world they live in is capable of both. They may be able to come to an agreement if they were to admit they both really wanted the same thing, knowledge. Knowledge is what drives the game; you may die and no longer have the tools of the previous sessions, but you have your memory. You can learn from your mistakes and get progress. Wilson isn't GREAT at science, but the mc/posterboy/protag is a scientist for a reason, he's as curious as the player is.

The main difference between the two is that William didn't get full understanding, his magic in the real world was all just a performance using something he didn't fully understand. He literally faked it so hard he became his persona. The extent that Wilson understands his knowledge isn't clear, but in his circumstance he has to use that to survive an environment out to kill him. When Maxwell is freed and has to live in that same environment, he does the same.

How much of Maxwell is William and how much is the result of Them? The extent of Them's influence isn't clear, but what is clear is that Maxwell would not have come into existence without Them. Every cast member has the potential to become Triumphant, not just from the potential to do evil in everyone but because They would enable that evil. Wilson's Triumphant skin is even a bloody three piece suit like Max's for Pete's sake. Wilson literally would of looked like Maxwell after taking his place. To swap the two would be to explore the worst aspects of Wilson, and William as his own character with less Them influence. What about their dynamic changes now Wilson is the one with more power? How then would they view each other? Would they still have that iconic slap fight gif or is William nicer/weaker than that?

I think it's neat :)

[vampire-sugar]

This is such a loser moment but last night I came home from work tired and feeling sick and my brother had people over for like a small party so like the siblings of people I knew from high school were seeing me in such a gremlin like state and they had all traveled home from college and were going “you moved back? oh…” anyway they were all over the house and blasting music right by my window and I had to be asleep by 10pm bc I had to wake up early for work the next day and it was like 8ish so I said alright why not watch Queen of the Damned to pass the time so I opened my laptop and looked up the movie and right as I was about to press play the colors of my screen got inverted…like my taskbar was inverted and so was my chrome page but not other things anyway I spent so long rebooting my computer reverting back to default settings digging for anything that could be the cause disliking any forum comment that said “just turn the color filter off” bc it was fucking off already that was the problem and I started crying bc all I wanted was to watch QOTD while drinking my ginger tea and pretending there was no party at the house. It took my 2 hours to figure out the cause was some high contrast chrome extension I got years ago that suddenly activated for some reason and I deleted it and went to bed. So that was my experience trying to watch QOTD.

[messenger-of-stupidity]

I'm literally so fucking mad dude

So I moved recently. And I lost the little ball thing that screws onto the end of my septum piercings. So I ordered a few new sets, right? Which I was already planning to do since I want to be able to switch out the jewelry. I spent twelve dollars total.

And I change the address for my amazon. I triple check to make sure that my new address is set as the default.

And apparently while im inputting my card info (cause I also had to switch banks) amazon decides to revert back to my previous address.

so i paid the money for the piercings. And they were delivered to my old address. which has had a huge package stealing issue for like the two years I was living there.

So I drive there once I find out to get my package. And it's gone/

So now I had to order it all over again. I missed the sale i bought the jewelry previously on, so now it's fifteen dollars.

When all I really want is a ball to screw onto my septum so the bitch doesnt fall out.

twelve dollars wasted for some jackass to have four sets of septum rings. suck my fucking dick.

[flightfoot]

I’d argue that season 5 crossed over into class betrayal with how they acted in the Lila becomes class president vote scene and how Alya and Nino accused Adrien of lying for Marinette, but season 5 is chock full of inexplicable character choices for me including the CN attempted murders, the extreme Chloe without a shred of nuance, Adrien and Marinette both abandoning hero post without much of a thought after specifically promising each other that they’d stay by the others side against Monarch and never abandon the other, all of the core four but alya being on board to get someone akumatized purposefully for the greater good (I know it’s Gabriel and he sucks bigtine but they don’t know what we know and it’s adriens dad for gods sakes! Cold behavior on their part and his), no one but Zoe speaking up for Marinette when Chloe accuses her despite everyone knowing Chloe’s deal by now, gabriel getting the wish and deciding I’m not gonna bring my wife back actually and Ladybug telling alya and suhan but inexplicably not telling CN Monarchs identity for no logical reason after a season of why that is a bad thing. It seems like the plot the writers want is running the characters, characters be damned. Season 5 has me wanting to just default to earlier season characterization because I have a feeling this is just going to get worse and it’s more exhausting to try to use watsonian thinking to make all of this fit when it just doesn’t

Season 5 had a lot of weird characterization, and Revelation especially made Alya and Nino act in ways I disagreed with, with how dismissive they were of Marinette, and Adrien when he backed her up. Still wouldn't categorize it as a "betrayal" though. The argument there was that Marinette was pretty busy, Lila thought she had a shot at reforming Chloe, and Lila HAD missed the student election, due to joining the class after it occurred, so she never got a chance to run for class representative, and there were only a couple of weeks left in the school year anyway, so it wouldn't matter that much. It wasn't about "punishing" Marinette or trying to hurt her or not appreciating her, it was just giving Lila a shot.

Chat being more trigger-happy with his cataclysm in seasons 4 and 5 does seem to have been intentional, and made some sense when looking at it. Adrien's patience slowly gets worn down in later seasons as his closest relationships become more and more strained - him and Ladybug in season 4, and him and his father in both of those seasons. So he becomes more trigger-happy, more prone to lashing out because of that, especially at anything or anyone who stomps on his triggers or who hurts the people closest to him. Considering how Representation and Conformation had Chat get trapped in a nightmare of the aftermath of an accidental, overblown Cataclysm, becoming scared of his power to the point he didn't dare transform because he feared his powers going out of control in his anger, the earlier incidents where he lashed out and attempted to use Cataclysm recklessly seem to have been set up for that.

Now, going so extreme with Chloe, reverting her back to her season 1 characterization (and then some) while ignoring the bits of nuance we saw in seasons 2 and 3... I didn't like that, and it made it seem like there was a fight in the writer's room about her portrayal. Adrien and Marinette giving up the Miraculous without considering how their partner would react to them also didn't really seem to work.

Everyone but Alya being on board with akumatizing Gabriel did actually work for me, Adrien had conflicting feelings about his dad, Marinette was desperate to do SOMETHING to advance the fight against Monarch, and Nino's always hated Gabriel.

Zoe being the only one to speak up for Marinette with everyone else just standing there... yeah I think that came down to wanting to keep from cluttering the scene with too many people talking at once, and giving Zoe a chance to shine. Very obvious hand of the author in that one, but I do see why it went like that, writing-wise.

Gabriel getting the wish and deciding against using it to revive his wife did have some set-up, with Nathalie specifically bringing up him sacrificing someone else's life to bring Emilie back and him denying it, and all those videos of Emilie saying NOT to revive her. With how far off the deep end he went in season 5 I still don't completely buy him healing Nathalie instead of reviving Emilie, but it did get some decent lead-in.

I'm not completely sure that Marinette DID tell Alya and Su-Han Monarch's identity. It was a little unclear. I could see Marinette keeping that close to her chest to try to minimize the chances that Adrien find out the truth.

[carltonlassie]

switched over to my semi-dumbphone/blackberry knockoff device and I have to say that I love the feel of it and the experiences on it except that there are a couple of annoyances

The keyboard makes me type slower than the virtual keyboard because there is no swipe typing. But once I get used to it, I can type without looking at the keyboard.

The default keyboard software that came with the phone wasn't the best at autocorrect / suggestions, but I downloaded the blackberry keyboard app and it's been working great

I set the fn key to act as a ctrl key so all the ctrl+c/v/z shortcuts work. So satisfying.

no mouse cursor/trackball like BlackBerry :( you have to use the touch screen to select things, which works ok. Not the most responsive screen, I'll tell you that.

The SD card slot works great except you can't use it with dual SIM... which sucks bc I bought it specifically for the dual sim feature.

The speakers aren't that great, but there's a headphone jack, so can plug my wired earbuds in any time. Not the most powerful output and quality either if you're looking for high res stuff, but it's still good.

the vibration motor on this thing is so jarring lol. Bzzzzt! But kind of fits the theme I guess.

For some reason images in text are so bad in quality. Not sure if it's an android thing or a phone thing. I'm supposed to read the menu items on this??

No 5G, if you care about that stuff

Stuck on android 11, if you care about that stuff. I do, cuz my work apps require android 12 as the minimum. There is an active lineage os development happening on it but there's a lot of bugs that make it kind of unusable. My SIM doesn't work at all on that build so I had to revert to stock.

Not the brightest screen, but it still works under direct sunlight

Ok camera, but what did you expect lol. Pics I took for reference:

some apps don't work that great on it due to the screen size. Might work in your favor if you're trying to limit social media apps etc. But Google maps was kind of a trouble bc the bottom bars take up half the screen

You can use the keypad to scroll the screen and that's the most satisfying feeling ever.

Al in all, I love it and hate it. I don't think I can type for long on this device though before my thumbs start hurting... which is sad bc I thought I'd be able to do a lot of writing on this.

[north-blue-hearts]

Heart of Gold

CisFem Reader x Trafalgar Law

CW: ptsd, trauma, depictions/implications of suicide and suicidal ideation, language, violence, blood, canonical character death, mature themes and events 18+

Chapter 12: Phrasing

The crew worked to grab you for over an hour, and once things neared the two-hour mark people started to tap out. Jean, Penguin, Bepo and Law had been the last four standing when a slip from you had toppled Jean onto Penguin and effectively took the two of them out. You’d been offering advice and instruction the entire time, but even your breath was coming out heavy at this point.

It’d been a long time since you’d been so well tested.

The attack came from both of them, a last gambit given how exhausted you all were. Bepo was a step above his captain in hand-to-hand combat. It’s what the mink specialized in. Law would’ve had you on several occasions, but his strength was tied into his devil fruit and such had not been allowed.

You could see him leaning back on lessons he must’ve learned before he got the fruit.

You moved Bepo aside using Law, hand around his wrist, palm on his shoulder, foot behind his as you shifted behind him in an easy motion. You’d reverted back to your grace in the last few minutes, there was less need for speed, and you had less energy to spare for it at this point anyway.

Bepo spun with Law, albeit a little awkwardly, and the two came back around toward you. You stepped away from Bepo and into Law, taking the majority of his forward motion into your shoulder. Leaning in to lift him up and over in a new way – if you threw him the same way too many times he started to react enough to try and counter it – but this position was a miscalculation on your part.

He was too close. Too warm. Your gaze shifted and you caught him looking at you with dangerously focused eyes.

Your mind betrayed you as you finished the movement. For a split second you weren’t looking ahead with your haki, you were imagining those eyes focused on you in a completely different setting. Desire disrupted your train of thought as a fluffy pair of hands rested on your shoulders.

Bepo let out a quiet little yay, before falling backward and letting himself splat onto the deck of the ship.

“You… alright?” Law huffs, pushing himself back up onto his feet.

You compose yourself quickly, offering a smile as you turn toward him. “Yes, of course. Momentarily distracted, but I think the lesson went well regardless.”

Several crew members groaned, and you were pretty sure someone swore.

Law smiles, looking over his crew. “Yeah, I’d say it did.” He agrees, before his expression returns to its more default state. “Alright, drag yourselves up and get cleaned up. There’s lunch to be made and provisions to buy while we still know the town’s safe.” He commands, already stepping forward and helping to pull some of the crew members to their feet.

You follow suit, having the energy to do so, and aid a few people to their feet.

“(Y/N)…” Penguin says, hands on his knees, eyes on the deck. “I mean this, as nicely as possible.” He begins.

“Please never wear that bell again.” Shachi pipes up as Law helps him to his feet. “It’s terrifying. I don’t like it.”

“It’s going to ring in my nightmares.” Penguin whimpers, looking up at you with a pout on his face.

You smile. “No one is an island, entire of itself. Each is a piece of the world wide chain – a single part of the main.” Shachi and Penguin are looking at you oddly as you continue to recite the poem. “If a clod be washed away by the sea, the crew is the less. As well as if promontory were. As well as if a manor of thine own, or of thine friend’s were.”

A somber look covers your face a moment. “Each man’s death diminishes me, for I am involved in mankind. Therefore, send not to know, for whom the bell tolls,” you grin widely, making the bell around your neck jingle. “It tolls for thee.”

Penguin looks to be on the verge of tears. You can’t see Law’s face, he’s moved away to help Bepo get Jean back on his feet. Shachi’s jaw is slack for a moment before he looks almost incensed.

“Did you just make that up?”

You shake your head. “It’s paraphrased a bit, the kingdom it originally refers to doesn’t exist anymore so I substituted the concept of the crew in its place. It works, thematically.”

Shachi’s shoulders drop. “Thematically.” The word falls disdainfully out of his mouth. “What’s it all mean? We work together and we can steal that bell eventually? Then it ain’t gonna toll for anyone.”

You laugh a little, but Law answers for you. “It means the bell stays.” He says flatly and you smile and nod.

The crew cleaned up, the boys first, you and Ikkaku second. When you left the showers you were pleased to smell the scent of food traveling through the decks. Food was always better when you’d worked up a proper appetite for it.

You were glad the overall mood of the crew seemed to be good. You’d worried after the session wrapped up that maybe you had been too hard on everyone, and that there would be a sour cloud hanging over everything.

Instead, the mess hall was full of happy sounds, and there seemed to be a minor celebration for Bepo for having put two whole paws on you.

Bepo looked nervous comparatively. “It was only a fluke.” He insisted, looking over at you as you came inside the mess hall. “Right?”

Most of the crew turned toward you, and you put on a good warm smile. “Fluke or not, you still did it Bepo, celebrate a little.”

“If it was a fluke, what happened?” Ikkaku questions as the two of you sit down.

“Just a momentary distraction.” You say, repeating your earlier words.

“Head, heart or gut.” She prompts.

“Huh?” You tilt your head a little.

“Your distraction.” She clarifies. “Thoughts, emotions, or stomach pain?”

“I’m… not in need of aid because of it.” You offer as vaguely as you can.

“Checking out Bepo’s butt, I bet.” Shachi says from behind you.

You smile. “It’s a very respectable butt.”

“Yeah, it stayed off the deck more than the captain’s.” Clione laughs. “How many times did he get tossed?”

“Thirty-six.” Law answers sourly, coming into the mess hall.

“I’m surprised you kept count during all that.” Uni admits.

“I didn’t.”

“I did.” You answer a little sheepishly. “The Captain is still practicing, it seems.” You say looking over at him. You’d just been getting ready to answer the question when Law beat you to it. “Please take care not to overexert your reserves, captain.”

“Captain’s stamina is monstrous.” Hakugan states nonchalantly. “His devil fruit takes a lot, so he’s the hardest one out of all of us to exhaust.”

“You all have exceptional levels of capacity.” You say evenly, taking a sip of tea. “You all improved today as well, whether you’ve noticed it yet or not. I will have to try harder next time.”

Penguin and Shachi exchange glances. “You don’t have to do that on our account.” Shachi offers nervously.

“Wait, can you?” Penguin asks in disbelief.

“Can I what?” You prompt, giving him a soft smile.

“… go harder.” He manages after a second, and you hear someone snicker a little. “Move faster, or more -.” He wiggles his arm in the air. “Wobbly.”

“Perhaps.”

Ikkaku and Uni laugh. “Bell, you’re going to scare that poor boy.” Ikkaku admonishes you.

“Anyone’s who legs aren’t going to buckle needs to head to town after you’re done eating.” Law says, sitting down with a tray of the only food you think he eats, onigiri. “(Y/N) stays,” He says, looking over at you. “Rest up for tonight.”

Shachi chokes, and you can feel heat rushing up into your face. Ikkaku and Hakugan are laughing themselves silly, and Law has his face in his hand already.

“Terrible word choice, captain.” Penguin manages to say it almost flatly.

“Yeah I-.” Law begins

“And after you told me about hand jobs,” you say, false admonishment in your voice.

“(Y/N)…” Law is nearly growling your name, not that you can easily hear it over the chaos from the rest of the crew.

You sip your tea, pointedly not looking at him as the crew does the work for you. It’s a little payback for the captain deciding to effectively force you ashore that night. Even if it was for your own good.

You did catch his gaze after things calmed down, giving him an even smile as you left to go rest in your room. You’d become a part of the crew, but Law didn’t have you move from the private room you’d been provided when you first came aboard the Tang. It felt a bit like special treatment, but you were also grateful for the continued opportunity to have some space.

You’d adjusted to the crew almost entirely, but your life had been wide open and large. You knew your station had given you a great many luxuries, and you’d appreciated those luxuries when you’d spent time on the run. The small, enclosed feeling of the submarine was comforting in a strange way, but you were still used to having more room to stretch.

Laying down in bed, you looked out the small porthole in your room. It was rare for it to be above the sealine, but the sun was on the other side of the ship, so it was only reflections from the ocean’s surface that lit up your room.

Eyes opened or closed; it didn’t matter. All you could see was the look on Law’s face during the practical part of the lesson. He looked so alive, so thrilled to be challenged. It was like he had a new puzzle in front of him, and this one wasn’t going to take hours of research, it wasn’t going to take weeks of planning. It didn’t require the stress of wondering if his crew would be alright.

You would do anything to see that light again. You’d do even more to see that light directed at you.

“Oh, bah!” You grumble, turning away from the porthole and closing your eyes, trying to actually let some form of rest overtake you before it was time for dinner. Before it was time to try and set foot on dry land.

Before you would be alone with Law.

Your eyes stayed open despite your desires, and you glowered at no point in particular in the room. How dare your heart feel, how dare your emotions swell. It wasn’t as though you had never had a crush before, or never found someone attractive.

But you weren’t a noble. There was no voice in the back of your mind reminding you of family connections, of lineage, or of the simple fact that choosing for yourself wasn’t your privilege.

There was nothing to stop your silly little crush. Nothing to stop you from saying something. Communication was important, it would be cruel to not inform the captain – your captain now, by all rights, of your foolish emotions. He was sensible. Logical. He would be able to help.

Rejection wasn’t to be feared. It would be an answer. Not the one you wanted, but one you’d understand. One you could accept. Emotions had their place, but they certainly complicated things.

Of that you were acutely aware.

For Whom the Bell Tolls by John Donne

No man is an island, Entire of itself. Each is a piece of the continent, A part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less. As well as if a promontory were. As well as if a manor of thine own Or of thine friend's were. Each man's death diminishes me, For I am involved in mankind. Therefore, send not to know For whom the bell tolls, It tolls for thee.

This poem is in the public domain.

[toaarcan]

The weird part of being a 2002 kiddie whose first Toa set was Pohatu Nuva is that starting with the Toa Nuva made the Toa Mata look weirdly naked to me.

I know most people vastly prefer the Mata designs but there’s always been a weird voice in the back of my head saying “But where’s their armour?”

Probably doesn’t help that they had the Mata designs for a year and a half and were then the Toa Nuva from late 02 all the way through to the beginning of 2008, with Greg Gregging that they revert to looking like the Toa Nuva whenever their Adaptive Armour isn’t actively altering itself to suit the environment. The Nuva designs are just fully ingrained as their default state to me now.

It’s almost the same vibe I get from a lot of middle-evolution Starter Pokemon, where you sit there thinking “Well you’re just not finished” until Lv.36.