bhaalsbabe

[bhaalsbabe]

Oh god im such a wreck, idk if i can hold out till my next psychiatrist appointment

6 days... Only 6 loooong days full of all-day stomach sickening anxiety

It's so bad I'll might have to leave from the planned dnd sesh bc idk how to...exist rn

[bhaalsbabe]

Added SQL on the basic level to my resume and I'm gonna try to apply for an entry level data analyst position, fingers crossed

[bhaalsbabe]

Love how this stat of mine keeps getting worse and worse

[bhaalsbabe]

My envy of the rich is ruining my life :')

[bhaalsbabe]

Just had a niiice dinner with my family, where we somehow started talking about rasism in our country, only to have both my brother and mother (both very much rasist) deny how they're rasist, while at the same time saying rasist things, and refusing to listen to everything me and my sister were trying to say. I'm so angry and annoyed and my mood is even worse than it already was. I even tried to tell them some examples and to make them try and be empathetic, no luck, they didn't even try to do it.

I wish they tried to read about how rasism, systemic or in general, works. But who am I kidding, they won't ever do that, because they're so sure they're right.

[bhaalsbabe]

Dammit, I'm broke but I just got discounts for 3 shops I like/am interested in😭

[bhaalsbabe]

I just couldn't take it had to try and fix it and omg, it looks soooo much better and now it makes me happy

Fixing the other side (and all the leaves I've already created) will be annoying but at least I won't lose motivation to finish this lol. Worst case scenario, I spend 2 extra dollars for another sheet of foam.

Only just started with the cosplay prop and I already hate it since I made the leaves a little too big, therefore it's not perfect, hence my hatred and want to destroy it

Unfortunately I don't have enough materials to start over and my hobby budget is already in the negatives so... Guess I'll have to live with this :') Maybe it will look better after I paint it.

Shout-out to my hot glue gun, you completely suck, I hate you, and if I could, I'd replace you with one that actually dispenses the glue when I want it to >:(

[bhaalsbabe]

Only just started with the cosplay prop and I already hate it since I made the leaves a little too big, therefore it's not perfect, hence my hatred and want to destroy it

Unfortunately I don't have enough materials to start over and my hobby budget is already in the negatives so... Guess I'll have to live with this :') Maybe it will look better after I paint it.

Shout-out to my hot glue gun, you completely suck, I hate you, and if I could, I'd replace you with one that actually dispenses the glue when I want it to >:(

[bhaalsbabe]

*sigh* i want to be normal

[bhaalsbabe]

I want to disappear completely from the lives of everyone who knows me online

[bhaalsbabe]

I hate my life and yet I realise that these are still the best months I'll have, when everyone in my family still lives, and and I'm terrified of how much worse I'll feel once it ends

They say golden retrievers live up to about 12 years, and our doggo is 11

And 2 out of 3 of our cats are considered seniors in the cat world

And my parents are getting quite old too

I go through the pain of imagining what will the life be like after these deaths, perhaps in a hope of not crumbling to pieces when it happens, while also knowing that it's pointless, I will crumble

I just want time to stop, and for everyone to be happy idk

[bhaalsbabe]

I shouldn't but i need to get drunk, i cannot stay sober when my life just sucks and i dont want to be here and everything hurts

[bhaalsbabe]

Why am i so ugly, why have i been born ugly and poor, this is so unfair, i cant even fix my ugly face

[bhaalsbabe]

Oh no my mood swings are getting out of hand again...

[bhaalsbabe]

Testing which glue sticks the best, well they all stick great to my fingers, to the foam, not so much. I guess hot glue is the winner, it always is :')

[bhaalsbabe]

Hadesboys for @drawsaurus 💀❤️

[bhaalsbabe]

I've lost 20 kgs in 7 months, that's so crazy and unbelievable, especially since I didn't start exercising, I only ate less food (!! unhealthy way of doing so, I now have digestive problems because of it so, not recommended).

Anyway, 4 more kgs (I think) and I'm no longer overweight according to BMI! (and I started at being obese)