bhaalsbabe

[bhaalsbabe]

Day 2 of trying to prove to Amazon that I'm the fucking card owner. Sent them more private info than I'm comfortable to send on the internet. Like we can see how often data breaches happen (even to big companies like Amazon), I don't want my identity stolen. WHY. DO. YOU. NEED. IT. WITH. UNREDACTED. INFORMATION.

Hate this so much, maybe it wasn't worth it to switch to amazon coins for Love Nikki purchases after all... Even if it saves me hundreds of dollars (since they don't have a set currency conversion that's adding one fifth extra for no reason other than Google being money hungry and liking to be predatory toward countries with much weaker economies)

I literally cry and have panic attacks over it (and doesn't help that I found out my ID is no longer valid and I can't get a new one during holidays), AND I CAN'T EVEN CONTACT CUSTOMER SUPPORT TO ASK WHAT THE HELL DO THEY NEED ALL OF THIS FOR AND WHAT WILL THEY DO WITH IT AFTERWARDS. I feel so powerless, I'm confused and have so many questions but there's no email I could send them to. Can't even find anything online, and what people think about this system Amazon has (other than a few old Reddit posts)

I want this to end, why do they only send the email AFTER another 24 hours, this is so damn stressful I can't 😭😭😭

[bhaalsbabe]

I'm just now realising how much I lacked empathy all the way until like 15 years old. How death meant nothing to me. I guess it's the childhood experience everyone goes through but it's so strange to retrospectively see it. Funny how you can gain empathy only by living, since before that, you have nothing to relate to.

[bhaalsbabe]

Just remembered how I got the best score in the entire school for some math competition, and how I only enjoyed that fact because I got a much better score than the new girlfriend of my ex. (I was still upset because they got together only two months after I had to break up with him, and this math competition happened 2-3 months later)

I've never shown animosity towards her because I'm not that shitty, but this was a nice victory for me - except that nobody knew that this was why I was pleased with the results, and they'll never know (they probably forgot about it already too lol)

[bhaalsbabe]

Just remembered how I got the best score in the entire school for some math competition, and how I only enjoyed that fact because I got a much better score than the new girlfriend of my ex. (I was still upset because they got together only two months after I had to break up with him, and this math competition happened 2-3 months later)

I've never shown animosity towards her because I'm not that shitty, but this was a nice victory for me - except that nobody knew that this was why I was pleased with the results, and they'll never know (they probably forgot about it already too lol)

[bhaalsbabe]

Damn it, there are only two episodes in Buffy that scared me as a child so much that I still remember them clearly and feel the same fear, and of course I get to them whenever I'm about to go to sleep 😭 I keep telling myself how I'm all grown up now but no, these things are ingrained and twisted in my memory forever 💀

But I'm already 10 minutes in and I cannot continue binging Angel until I catch up with these few episodes :(

[bhaalsbabe]

.. Probably should've gone to therapy today when i have almost daily breakdowns and when my trauma prevents me from getting help for a potentially serious health problem

[bhaalsbabe]

SLIDES ANOTHER ARES DRAWING ON THE TL TO DISTRACT FROM MY PAIN

[bhaalsbabe]

NOOOO WHY DID LOVE NIKKI HAVE SUCH A BIG BEAUTIFUL UPDATE WITH RECHARGE BONUSES, I'M FUCKING BROKE AND GOOGLES'S ADDED EXTRA 7€ FOR THE PURCHASES WOULDN'T HELP

Oh how i wish i was rich and could get a bit of serotonin from this 😭

[bhaalsbabe]

My 5* weapons are getting out of hand, I don't have the ore to level them up (and haven't had it for quite some time)

Like I try to get them at least to the bonus substat (every 5 levels) but even that is a struggle x.x

Also I'm probably one of the only ones who have Neuvi's weapon but no Neuvi 💀 Hopefully this patch changes that but with how little wishes I have... *sigh*

[bhaalsbabe]

Mavuika gameplay leaks make me want to skip her first banner, which has never happened to me before as an archon collector. I'll probably go for Citlali instead (mostly because of her design).

Ugh and then there's the fact I wanted to get Neuvi in this rerun (and getting Chasca instead of losing the 5050 will make that pretty much impossible) and I want to c6 Arle eventually. It will be hard to resist spending all of my money on this game, I'll have to be patient.

[bhaalsbabe]

My hair dryer is 13 years old (and I don't have 50€ lying around for new), I'm just waiting for it to blow up one of these days 💀

[bhaalsbabe]

Got 2 copies of the new catalyst, but no bow. But I also got another Lyney bow at 65 pity so :') pain

But I finally got Ororon at 40 pity (so in 43 wishes, not too bad, if only I didn't get a 5*)

Me: oh I have only 50 pity, I might get Ororon in a few single pulls

Me: does 2 skip single pulls, all blue

Me: does the third skip single pull and I GET FUCKING CHASCA

which... Good bc I like flying, but BAD bc this is a 3rd 5050 win a row (4th if you count the capturing radiance) which means my chances of getting both Mavuika and Neuvilette are even lower than before 😭

Now I'm gonna do a few single pulls on weapon banner for the 2 new 4* weapons. I have 40 pity there, and I already have Lyney's bow, so if I somehow get another one, I'll be mad.

[bhaalsbabe]

THE COMBO OF SCARA AND CHASCA IN NATLAN IS SO GOOD

[bhaalsbabe]

Me: oh I have only 50 pity, I might get Ororon in a few single pulls

Me: does 2 skip single pulls, all blue

Me: does the third skip single pull and I GET FUCKING CHASCA

which... Good bc I like flying, but BAD bc this is a 3rd 5050 win a row (4th if you count the capturing radiance) which means my chances of getting both Mavuika and Neuvilette are even lower than before 😭

Now I'm gonna do a few single pulls on weapon banner for the 2 new 4* weapons. I have 40 pity there, and I already have Lyney's bow, so if I somehow get another one, I'll be mad.

[bhaalsbabe]

I had a small surgery today and the doctor told me how I'll experience pain and soreness so I should take painkillers when needed and now that the local anaesthetics wore off completely, the pain is like nothing to me. Literally like 1/4 of the pain I've been experiencing for 2 years that this surgery should hopefully fix. And I haven't been taking painkillers for that lol.

[bhaalsbabe]

Still upset AC Sephiroth didn't finish off Cloud when he could. Like cmon, why are you shoving him and kicking him NOW, JUST KILL HIM FFS

Like I always wait for him the whole movie to show up and then he disappears after like 7 minutes because he just has to make Cloud suffer more instead of killing him immediately 🙄🙄🙄

[bhaalsbabe]

“Is it normal?” The binding edition

Yes:

Getting winded after walking quickly/upstairs with binder on, but able to catch breath

Chafing in the underarm areas

Soreness (during or after) in arms, shoulders, or back

Increased acne on chest or back

Mild anxiety about tightness

Chest sagging

No, take it off and rest, see a doctor if problem gets worse or doesn’t go away after taking the binder off (or after one week):

Nausea during or after binding, including nausea caused by pain

Bruising

Out of breath/can’t catch breath when not wearing binder

Skin rash

Sharp pains in ribs

Not able to cough or sneeze

Numbness in arms

Feeling too tired/sore to do everyday activities

Suddenly having any of the above symptoms even if you’ve been binding for years 

No, see a doctor ASAP, could be a sign of serious injury:

Anything from the above category if you can just tell/feel something is wrong, better safe than sorry

Extreme claustrophobia/panic attacks 

Sharp pain in chest/heart skipping beats or beating very fast

Not able to breathe  

Dizziness

Blueness in lips or fingertips

Change in shape of ribcage

Fainting