#all i wanted to do was a horse and then i was like wait i should put it in an environment

[paintpencilink]

I used to buy all my jeans from a feed/hardware store on the edge of my city. They used to have one or two brands of women's jeans that fit well, were $30 a pair, and would at least hold up for like five years of constant use. But now even at the feed store, they're $60–$80 a pair and they wear out in the crotch in eight months. That's not clothing, that's a shitty subscription service.

I am now buying $15–$25 Wranglers from the men's section. They fit fine and are sturdier/warmer. In fact, the majority of my clothes are from men's now.

Here's why.

Messages from the women's section in US clothing stores:

- it's not cheap fabric with short fibers! it's ~soft wash.~ it's slinky and form fitting.

- because your goal is obviously to be sexy

- and not, for example, ecologically friendly

- or cost effective

- or warm

- or to cover your junk

- it's like gift wrap! you can use tissue paper!

- wait you want slightly more of our cheap-ass "fabric"? SHAME. SHAME UPON THEE. go to the PLUS SIZE SECTION, populated by SAD CLOTHES and AGEISM.

- oh those don't fit either? lol!

- all our sizes are based on fairy dreams anyway :)

- btw are you sexy yet? no of course not

- you haven't bought new clothes in six months. ew lol you're so out of style

- you need to buy underwear? well here's 270 options, 14 of which will fit you, 2 of which are remotely comfortable, and 0 of which will hold up after a year or two

- and a giant store display featuring a badly photoshopped woman in a satin nightgown nobody would ever actually sleep in

- are you sexy yet?

Messages from the men's section in US clothing stores:

- [ford truck commercial voice] these clothes are RUGGED and HARD WEARING so you can do REAL WORK like a MAN

- clothing sizes roughly based off garment measurements; not always consistent but an attempt was made at least

- all the most common sizes are sold in the same section from the same brands and styles

- you should buy THESE pants because they're INFUSED with TECHNOLOGY

- and FORGED with EXTRA POCKETS

- and they're WEATHERPROOF down to -2000 DEGREES

- so they're $50 instead of $20 like our basic jeans :)

- (which also have multiple pockets that are each bigger than some purses)

- you're still wearing the same t-shirt and jeans you've had for the last 6 years but now there's a hole in the armpit you don't know how (or can't be bothered) to fix? haha same bro. props for being vintage. here's another identical one. see you in 6 years

- AMERICAN GROWN COTTON [bald eagle screech] and GENUINE LEATHER [horse galloping noise]

- (sometimes/in some places our quality is trash anyway and we still double our prices every 5 years but shhhh)

- boxers or briefs? pick these and get extra support and ventilation for your GIANT—

...That said.

It's not a perfect fix, but even for larger or very curvy bodies, it's worth checking out all the men's brands you reasonably can. I still like women's socks tho. If you haven't tried socks from women's—do it. Those double layered slipper socks are amazing actually.

Quick note for trans gals: I'm so sorry y'all 🥲 you're walking into an incredibly expensive and inconvenient system. (Again.) Just know that the struggle to find something that fits well is, unfortunately, an experience shared by basically all women these days.

I'm so pissed right now. I know that fabric has been declining in quality for a while but I just bought new pajamas from kmart and they are literally see through. Not just through one layer of fabric either; I can see through the leg, that is, through 2 layers of fabric. These aren't clothes. I am not exaggerating when I say that I have strained soup through cheesecloth thicker than these pants. These are men's flannel pajamas, the kind people wear in winter, and they are made if shittier thinner fabric than even the most bargain bin bullshit halloween costumes. This "flannel" feels like plastic and is thinner than a chux wipe. Why is this even for sale.

[deesseshesca]

PAC : Letter from your pregnant self (HIS POV) 18+

I got beef with men but ... what else is new ?

PERSONAL READING (SALE) (LINK)

FIRE TO THE MOON

FUTURE LOVE + SEX DOUALA = 40$ (2for1)

DOWN TO MY CORE

CHARACTER UPDAPTE + LORE DUMP = 40$ (2for1)

PILE 1

MY BEEF...any way thank you so much for coming through. Girl you better like it, he got me working fucking overtime. Actually all of them did ...

(LINK TO YOUR READING ... YES IT IS FREE AND ON TUMBLR ... MERRY CHRISMAS)

PILE 2 

Both of y’all are only child that were raised to be anxious over achiever. Parents are never there. I keep hearing : ‘’Super rich kids with nothing but loose ends. Super rich with nothing but fake friends…’’

Letter suppose to be for you but instead he wrote it for your baby.

Dear Lucetta (Various ethereal ‘’L’’ name came through. Other name that came through : Lysandra, Lysianne and Lucretia) 

Daddy messed up (This man is bawling. I mean breakdown and everything. He tries to be strong but for the sec that he admits that, tears are overflowing. If he was actually writing the letter they would be teardrop on the letter). Daddy is nothing but an asshole. I should not write this right … Your mama is going to get mad when she realizes how I butcher your vocabulary (yellow laugh ( french : rire jaune) … idk how to explain it in english). Fuck … You deserve a fucking good letter. That’s the least I can fucking do … yeah that’s the least I can do. Mama decorate your room like the royalty you are meant to be. The tapestry tailored in Spain in an accent of gold and soft pink are all over the walls. Made sure to ask the maid to polish the wooden floor until she can see herself in it. She actually sent me in here to check the oxygen cleanliness of your room. First wtf is air cleanliness. Second when the fuck did they created a damm machine for that shit. Lastly, you are not even there … Sorry baby … I love you more than anything but your mama is gone mad with the way she’s preparing for you. I never understood when  my poor friends complain about rich people's spending habits.  Now I am standing in the room section reserved for your room oxygen. I can help but run a hand in my hair and agree. (Another yellow laugh (rire jaune) before falling down on his knees and crying. Give him a couple minute y’all he needs to catch his breath … ) You're going to cost me so much baby. I never care for my trust fund, finances or even money but I am asking the family accountant to come to me first thing in the morning for the 4th this month. I hope I have enough money ( and for some of y’all … gold … liquid gold …iykyk). I know Mr. (His dad's name) has enough money in the bank but maybe is not enough. Maybe you need more than the couple millions we have. Maybe you need more than the properties we own. Maybe you need fucking more than an oxygen regulator machine. Maybe you need a whole lung doctor. Yes… you  need a nutritionist, a child psychologist … Does the baby have a tutor ? Fuck you need it. Baby just said and daddy will get it. You understand everything you want daddy get. You want a hug, a kiss, for me to count all the stars in the sky to describe how much he loves … done. You need me to buy the moon for you … done. You need me to resurrect  Leonardo Devinci so he can paint you in all your glory … done. There’s nothing I would not give to you but the thing that makes my heart ache is the way I crave intimacy with you. Can’t wait to hold you in my hands. Can’t wait to touch your littles toes. Can’t wait to see your lips pout like your mama when she is done with my mess. Can’t wait to see you grow. I promise princess I will never make second ever again. I will go to every parent meeting at school, bringing you to all your ballet, opera, harp, fencing, horse ridding whatever fucking classes your mom has for you; I will never miss your school competition and I will listen to all your house show you will produce to show yourself off. I don’t care if I am in a meeting, I will always have time for you. I will always have time to remind you how much I love you, how pretty you are, how much you matter and how much of a blessing you are just because you are. Yes… just because is you,  baby. Forgive daddy please. I know I am not in a position to ask you for anything especially after giving up on you for so long but if you don’t make it out of the NICU … mommy may never make it out. We both made her suffer enough. 

Please baby (damm he's whimpering in pain, choking on tears) stay with us. 

YOUR DADDY. 

Don’t worry you are not dead or close to it ( in the physical form at least …), you are being monitored at the hospital. I am getting traumatic labor (I should do a PAC about it) not because of pain but because of blood. You may have not lost your water but blood. I see you laughing at some joke the father of your baby did. Not a single care in the world. Girl your hair is perfect, if you have a Dyson and are working to perfect your blowout … just so you know you are the blowout queen in a couple years. Skin glowing, you look so pretty pregnant. That baby was really the blessing that changed your life forever. You are wearing a 2 piece white set … boom blood. You touch and look at your man. I keep hearing : ‘’ nononono … that can’t be it. (HIS NAME !) It can’t be … my baby. 

This whole letter  has nothing to do with the cards so let’s dive … shall we ? (Intuition took over …)

First you guys were both extremely hardworking workers. Never had time ( and also if I may … never learn ) to create deep bonds. I see both people living in their own penthouse. Yours has more of a Victorian look and his is more modern. You may have a white cat. 

You met at the work gala. I see 2 people look at each and accept y’all fate. 

You start fucking. The deal was perfect. He needed a woman that was not going to get attached to his riches. You needed a man that’s not trying to fix your cold heart. 

I see y’all literally planning to have sex like it’s a meeting … I think y’all use it to blow some steam annoyed by your empty life, useless parents and annoying coworkers. 

At first just fucking, no aftercare, clothe back on and on the go. Then he cracks a joke and you giggle which makes you stay 5 minutes longer. Then he charms you while cooking dinner for you before you leave. Then you spend more and more time together… Now he grabs you a snack and y’all always watch a kid show. He complains about how dumb the character is but you enjoy the deep dive he’s doing without even realizing it. 

You are not wrong, there's a lot of things he doesn't realize. He doesn't realize how much he craves connection. He doesn't realize how much he craves intimacy with you. When asked why ? Is it because you allow him to be ( do you realize the synchrony with the letter … anyway sometime my psychic surprise me 2 girl) 

You took the pregnancy test together and he joke on the fact it was getting terminated and not to stress so much but a light a hope awaken in your  heart for the first in soooo fucking long but you brush it off and went on the same page as him. Not because of him but because ‘’ you the fuck has time for a kid anyway’’ (your word not mine). 

Then you heard the baby's heartbeat and you cut all contact with him. Someday at the beginning of your second trimester you text him paragraphs upon paragraph on how you kept the baby, how it was never to hurt him, but for the first time in your life you felt hope and it felt like you needed to hold on to it. That you don’t know how but you are going to make it. 

He will villainize you and block you. One of your close friend is going to send them drunk voice memo in the middle of the third semester announcing him is a girl between cursing the fuck out. WAKE UP CALL FOR MISTER. 

He comes back the same day you threw your private luxurious baby shower. 

Some of y’all are Italian 

He has a no relationship with his parents and refuses 2. Calling them by their first name while you still seek love from them. 

PREVIOUS READING

2) Wanna know the love story the universe has for you? 💫 In 8 parts, I spill all: first meet, first kiss, confession, sexy time, and more. Don’t miss out! 👀💖 (LINK)

3) For ALL DECEMBER get 2 readings for the price of 1 : LINK

PILE 3

Dear Red (y’all call each other by colors so anything can fit, just took that one because it came through first) , 

You are resplendent. I know you think I am exaggerating. Or maybe you think I am only talking this sweet because everything is new ( I just heard : ‘’ The talk is cheap …’’ Lol this one is sassy) but baby I can put my hand the fire that I would still go that hard for you in 30 years when you boobs going to sag, your face will wrinkles from all the time I am going to make you laugh and you have grey hair just like mine ( You : YAH! Stop that in 30 years we are not going to be this old … you dumb fuck. I swear too God this fucking skincare better work. You better stop being goofy .. I want to be a MILF. You know, that is one of my life goals … GIRL YOU BETTER TELL HIM; Me: (choking on my laugh) Now… Why am I getting yelled at ?). Can’t never forget when I saw your sexy ass that day at the beach. I did not think … yeah I can’t wait to fuck it and make her yell my name (ok can’t lie it was my very next thought) nahhh, baby I was hook by the way the sun was making your skin glow. The tattoo on your body is a telling story before my eyes but you know I never wear my damm glasses so I could not read it. Anyway the way your hair flows gracefully with the wind, the way your eyes light up basking in the sun. I knew I had to get a lil mama number. When I first hear your voice … it made me breathless (should have asked for your asthma pump but I did not know you like that at that time but that shows you how much I was starstruck … Almost I had my first asthma attack- You: BABY stop telling my damm business to this lady). Your words, your tone, the way you move with so much elegance … I just knew I hit the jackpot. I would be damm to let you go. I am so proud of having you as mine. I love spending time with you, I love spending money on you, I love kissing you, I love leaving hickeys on you, I love holding your hands, I love texting you, I love making stupid edits of us (Me : the 2014 couple edit … girl … I can’t … you boy is making me cry of laughter). I know everything happens so quickly but you know how you explain me that life is like a book with crystals and your cards with little drawing on it, ( Me : Byeeee I can't, he is trying to explain crystals and tarot cards; Him: Honestly I don’t know about all that … I love hearing her talk about it. I love hearing her talk when she’s excited. I love her voice. The perfect candidate for yap session) anyway my inner child feels so safe and alive with you. I know you feel the same baby girl. Everything is working so effortlessly that must mean we are manifesting something good ( Me : LOL ! He’s talking about the law of attraction). My mom did not even get mad when I announced to her that I got you pregnant (You : Duh she loves me stoopid). You parents loved the fact that we found each other and your dad is as eager as me to formalize our union. Honestly I would marry you anywhere at any time. I told  you from the beginning that you will be my wife and I meant it but I know you want something bigger and so  it’s going to have to wait. That doesn't mean I can’t surprise you with an engagement ring. Standing here with a small group of men allowed to the baby shower, I can’t help but look at you. Your skin tight black dress exposing your full breast and the slide on it showing off your thick thighs. The smile on your face while you act ratchet with your friends ( Him: Damm babe I did not know you could still throw it in a circle 8 months pregnant … you better not say you are tired tonight. I got a plan for both of us) letting yourself go not a single care in the world. This is how I want you to be forever. Not a single care in the world, always full of joy and love and helping you achieve all your goals. Baby I know, it was quick but I swear it is only the beginning of the most beautiful love story. I am going to work hard until my last breath to keep the spark going. 

YOUR ONE AND ONLY MAN 

HIM 

Again wtf is wrong with those men. At first they did not want to work with me … now they are good ? To the point of making me over work …smh.

Yes, you guess it … it was an intuitive letter now let’s get into the card. 

First I am getting PLUS SIZE ! Yes, very thick and curvy women.  Now I understand why I wanted to write a bigger butt earlier … your man loves the curves baby. That’s does not mean is a fucking fetiche. Like if it is affecting health is going to ask you to fix it. News flash loser fat people can have an active life and still be fat. He never forces you to achieve any kind of weird kink. 

Y’all may be giving yourself too easily to men. I am getting that since they only see you for your body. You prefer existing than being invisible (like when you were child, some of y'all have been big since childhood. You were not really bullied but very ignored. People were ashamed to associate with you). Right now I see you are at the beginning of your elf love journey. You are making healthy food choices, spending time mastering a hobby : crystal, tarot, knitting or some other heels dancing. YOU GO GIRL ! Regarding men you still give yourself easily, some even tell you they don’t like you. They just fuck you because you are easy. You accept it and let them take you to pound town anyway. 

This man is going to help you tremendously in your self love journey … you have no fucking idea. You are going to glow more, stop eating your feelings, love yourself, have boundaries with your environment ( idk when the world decides that we have to give less respect to rounder people but anyways …), you will dress more provocatively and wear way more colors. Speak your mind more and be confident in yourself. 

Baby say goodbye to boring sex and say hello to sex toys. Rejoice, babe rejoice you deserve it. Let me tell you something he is pleasure dom … Girl he's going to make you orgasm like it is a damm sport. You better hold on because the night is going to be long. Pussy swollen from overstimulation, ass hurting from spanking and hickeys everywhere. Not him having the audacity to ask you to ride him after all that … anyways chile let me go. 

He gets so hard whenever you talk about spirituality. If you are witch prank by performing some sex magick on him, this man would be sooo proud to be your little helper while you are doing some spell.

PREVIOUS READING

2) Wanna know the love story the universe has for you? 💫 In 8 parts, I spill all: first meet, first kiss, confession, sexy time, and more. Don’t miss out! 👀💖 (LINK)

3) For ALL DECEMBER get 2 readings for the price of 1 : LINK

PILE 4 

Judgement (reverse), King pentacles, 4 wands (reverse), page of cups (reverse) 

I put the card because I want to show that I actually try to do the reading at first but the energy aint it. Somebody had an awful pregnancy especially because of an awful baby daddy. Like he dragged you to the filth, made you cry and cheated on you. Even gave you an STD for some of y’all. Since than he calm the fuck down. He tries to come through like a nicer person  but he made sure to make me understand he doesn't love you so I don't want him. I ain't wasting my time for something he can text. Then his younger self came through … boy bye with your filthy energy. 

So I kept trying because I had to feed you guys … Then your future husband came through but you were still not pregnant so … it was kind of useless for me … But then I understood that y’all are actively trying and that's good enough for me. 

No cards … straight intuition ( I don’t  want this filthy energy to come through again) 

Dear Малышка, Солнышко, Киса (ain't going to lie … I google the most popular and line it up. He ain't going to call you all that. Also I am really getting eastern Europe and I know they all have their own language but most of them somehow got colonized by Russia in some way shape or form. But if he’s from Poland then he will use his language. He’s from Lithuania, he will use his language … You catch the drift) 

(before we get into anything … thick, thick accent), fuck I want you. I need you. Like all the time. You ain’t make it easy for me Малышка. One day you welcome me home with a long white robe, hair in a perfect intricate bun and makeup a bit oily. That's how I know our kid did not let you rest. You only had  time to take away your clothes before you had to jump in mommy mode. Other times you tease me by sending me pictures of the lingerie and perfume you are wearing. Swear I hate the fact that I start work so early and finish so late. Oh let me not forget when you took a picture with my computer of you in your favorite brown set. The number of times you give me a blue ball should be illegal. Don’t even get me started when we were invited to the gala, you look so breathtaking … anyways you already know all that. Being a man's desire never was a foreign concept but being in love was one I had to teach you. Every day I rejoice with the idea of spending a whole lifetime loving you and our little bundle of energy. She/He never stops … just like her/his mommy. It took me a while to win over her/his heart. She/He is so protective of your heart. Almost as if he/she everyone in your heart aches when carrying him/her. That’s ok now we are 2 trying to protect you, can’t wait to be 3 humans to love on you. Until then here is the money for the new makeup you wanted to try. 

Love you Малышка. 

LOL ! I swear your future man has some sense of humor. I said the other one he could text you is lame nice word this one came through as a text. 

Also some of you may think he is super old … nah he is around your age. Babe get out the damn book there’s handsome Slavic men your age range in the real world. 

Anyways this man has tattoos and loves metal and goth music. He has moneyyy. I just don’t know the capacity but enough to put you in a luxurious condo and fund your influencer career. 

Lol … I see some of y’all cringing. I don’t think you will do couple content, actually you keep your life extremely private … The only thing people know is the diamond on your finger. I am getting more skincare and makeup content creators. You have a boudoir (beauty room/content room) that’s all we see. When I channeled him, I saw you receiving his message while getting ready to film some content. At that time in your life you are still juggling a 9to5. I mean girl, you are doing it all ! Mommy, corporate baddie, content creator and trophy wife. 

He has a rather dark aesthetic unlike you. You have a quite cute, pink aesthetic but love hardcore metal and goth. 

He came through while I played my NIRVANA playlist.

PREVIOUS READING

2) Wanna know the love story the universe has for you? 💫 In 8 parts, I spill all: first meet, first kiss, confession, sexy time, and more. Don’t miss out! 👀💖 (LINK)

3) For ALL DECEMBER get 2 readings for the price of 1 : LINK

[scoops404]

Scoops' Fics of 2024

It's that time of year again! The time for me to rank my own fics for the last year in order from my least favorite to most favorite. I only considered fics I wrote entirely myself, so you won't see an honest living in here because that was almost 50/50 written with Dizzy! (but you should definitely go check it out!)

This year I only had two novel length fics because I was supposed to be focusing on original work (oops). I had a heck of a summer with my bingo fills. There's definitely recency bias at play here, but that's just how it goes sometimes. Let me know if you agree/disagree :D

See the Elephant - T - this one was written for a fic fest that ended up getting canceled because of the grituation. I had already written the entire thing and it had to be T because the artists were going to post their work. If I had known it would be canceled, I would have had them doing the freaknasty. This was after I had already planned out and written a fic before new boundaries dropped in November (see Circling Back). Basically, this fic fest was never meant to be, I suppose. I was starting to think I was a curse. Oh, but the fic itself is a soulmate AU and kinda angsty and has a hospital scene. 0 horse mentions.

Merry Men Making Merry - T - This was written for Fairy Tales from the SMP - the first and only successful fanfiction event I've completed all the way through (it's never me dropping out btw, it's always the event getting canceled). Anyway I got my first choice of fairy tale, which was Robin Hood, and I put a fun spin on it. The art with this fic was gorgeous!! A very different type of fic for me and it stretched some writing muscles I didn't know I had. Secret identity and identity reveal, some of my favorite tropes. 4 horse mentions.

Move to Florida, buy the car you want - E - the first of my bingo fics. It turns out I am bad at being brief. Anyway, DNF get together and semi-roadhead and I dunno, it's cute. I wrote most of this fic free hand in my note book at my work desk because fuck capitalism. I just checked, the prompt was "late night care rides" which checks out. 0 horse mentions

Someone told me there's no such thing as bad thoughts (croptop) - E - this is the one from the middle of June about crop tops that was also written for bingo. I dunno. It's cute enough. 0 horse mentions.

Everyone understands why it’s mean to be (a/b/o phone call) - T - this one is funny because I didn't even bother saying what the prompt was in the author's notes, but I think it was a/b/o. This one was fun to write because it was basically a nod to the 2021 fandom and where we were, and where DNF were -- waiting on that damn visa. Like going back in time and writing a fic. 1 horse mention.

Can I Use You Up - E - I really had fun writing this one. It has fun Dreateam dynamics and then a really intense sex scene and the dichotomy of both of those things in one fic -- and short (for me), at that! impressive. 0 horse mentions.

Circling Back - E - this fic is fun and wild. I got to write co-workers to lovers that is also hidden/secret identity -- and it works! WILD! I re-read this one recently and it stands up. This was originally written for that first fic fest i was talking about and when they changed it for the new boundaries for art, I couldn't have any smut and the whole plot kind of hinged around the smut, so... I decided to just write it as it is. ALSO this is the first fic that Chelsey beta'd, I think. So that's fun! And it was the first fic of the year (not counting Hits Different which wrapped up in January). 0 horse mentions.

Just to do experiments on - E - Yall, if you had told me that I would write tentacle porn, I would have laughed at you. Extra has been trying to get me to write tentacles for YEARS and then it came up on my bingo card and I felt like I finally had to bite the bullet and do it. Except, I actually really love how it turned out? This bingo prompt was tentacles, obviously, but also cursed by a witch. A twofer, if you will. 0 horse mentions.

Let Me Familiarize You - E - here's some Scoops lore. I wrote this fic in two sitting and it is 13K, so that's wild!!! It took me two days in the time after my surgery but before I could go back to work to write this (in between writing the beginnings of Two Fools and another story that I haven't and won't publish lol). Anyway, it's about witch!George accidentally making Patches his familiar and then coming clean to Dream and also his mom is there. And then literally that same day, George dropped a video with his mom. Crazy pants. (or maybe it was the day before when this was all written? Can't remember. Also I was on pain pills). I really like how it turned out. It's a fun premise! 0 horse mentions.

Puzzle pieces in the dead of night - T - another bingo fic, the prompt was pirates. Anyway, I had a BLAST writing this one. Secret identity, kidnapping, munchy mc dynamics, I really like writing action adventurey fics and this one feel right into that category. A fun read, in my opinion. 0 horse mentions.

I’m Having His Baby (No, I’m Not) - E - a bingo fic, the prompt was "mpreg, but abortion" because the person who made the boards *ahem* doesn't like pregnancy stuff and wanted to punish me (lightheartedly lol). Anyway, joke is on her, because I made this into an epic story and I had so much fun writing it. Like, laughing out loud to myself while writing it, which is kinda sad, but is also the point of fanfiction. You have to entertain yourself first and foremost. And also I snuck eventual mpreg in there anyway so haha! for real, though, if you think the premise of this one is weird -- Dream and George accompany Sapnap on a roadtrip to Colorado to get his abortion -- you should try it out anyway. 1 horse mention, and arguably the one that brought it to our good anon's attention.

Anagnorisis - E - speaking of mpreg, LMAOOOOOO. My "I didn't know I was pregnant" AU with Angst and miscommunication and domesticity and last minute flights to London and a baby named after the lead singer of Glass Animals. This fic has a lot! I wrote a lot about the beginning of this fic on Tumblr and kind of how I begin writing fics. Here Anyway, pretty proud of this fic. I had to ask my mom a lot of questions about NICU. 3 horse mentions.

I Am Two Fools - E - every year the last novel length fic of the year seems to be in the top spot. No Exception this year. This fic was very tough to write, but very rewarding. I think it taught me a lot about making sure character motivations are fleshed out and make sense. It, and Anagnorisis, taught me about trusting the reader and dropping hints at things. Yall got So Good at catching hints and making molehills out of anthills, as intended. I took a chance and switched up POV halfway through, which is almost never do. And I think that really helped me stretch my writing muscles as well as all the bingo fics. Very proud of the work I did on this fic. 0 horse mentions.

[mikashisus]

KID AND LEVERET

synopsis: ❝ i was the leveret in hiding ❞ ❝ kid among beasts of metal and malice. ❞ the years in which you and kinich found each other, lost each other, and found each other again in a world riddled with conflict that was intent on keeping you apart.

taglist. @wystiix @pneumosia @kazuinvocation @pixelcafe-network

word count. 4.5k ( contents : angst, conflict, implied alcoholism, implied abuse )

notes. im so glad i was able to get this done in time, i was rlly scared i wouldn't be able to :') this is my secret santa gift for @knnichs !! i hope u like it zira!! <33 i put in a ton of effort to make it as enjoyable as possible despite my less than satisfactory writing 🤕 also, this was loosely based off yaelokre's song "kid and leveret" which i will literally sell my soul for. gonna loop that song for forever when it finally releases, mark my words

The first time you decided to run away from the castle had been when you were seven years old. At the time, your parents had sent every general they could out into the vast fields and forests to search for you.

A lost, small child would be extremely hard to find, but they were confident they would be able to find you. You couldn’t have gone far— after all, you had always been afraid to go outside the royal city’s gates by yourself. 

General Capitano, one of the most elite soldiers in Eirene’s military and one of your father’s most loyal men, had been the one to bring you back within the castle walls. You had kicked and screamed when he found you quite far from the kingdom’s gates. However, your tantrum did not phase him in the slightest. He simply placed you upon his horse and made haste back to the castle to return you to your parents. 

Your mother— bless her soul —had been weeping tears of joy upon your return, and immediately had the maids draw you a bath to rid your skin of the dirt and grime, and your hair of the leaves and twigs. She hadn’t left your side for days after that, for fear of her baby once again slipping through her fingers. 

The second time you attempted to run away from home had been when you were thirteen years old— seven years after your first attempt. It lasted longer than the last. You managed to get to the far outskirts of the kingdom’s vast land before your personal guard (and babysitter), General Capitano, once again found you. You kicked and screamed again, reminding him of the first time you both had gone through this scenario. 

However, just like the last time, he was not phased. He picked you up with ease and perched you on his black horse, taking you back to the castle. 

Your mother paced back and forth in front of the bathtub, her hands on her hips as she bit her lip. The two maids who were washing you eyed her nervously out of the corner of their eyes. One of them even shared an uneasy glance with you. You simply shrugged and stared at your mother, waiting for another one of her long lectures. 

A few tense moments passed, the only sound being the sloshing of the water in the tub and a soap-filled sponge making contact with your skin. Finally, the excruciating silence was broken as your mother turned to face you, her visage riddled with resignation. 

“Leave us.” She addressed the maids quietly, and without a word, the two of them stepped back and fled the room, most likely sensing the oncoming lecture. 

Your mother pulled up a chair next to the tub and sat down, folding her hands neatly into her lap. She nervously fiddled with her fingers as she took a deep sigh. “I’m not angry with you for sneaking out,” she told you softly, “I just want to know why you are so intent on leaving the castle without a guard. You could be hurt, or— or worse, you could die out there! Do you know how many times your brother had left? And what it did to him in the end!?” 

You resisted an eyeroll and a groan of frustration. You heard that story many times. The story of how your older brother, now long gone, had snuck out of the castle in his youth and wound up dead in a river a few weeks later. When your parents had you, they were insistent on never letting you leave the castle under any circumstances— unless you were heavily guarded. 

Understanding their worry, you put up with it for a while. That was until it got to a point where you felt claustrophobic. Being watched at all times was draining, and you felt as if you couldn’t even go to the bathroom without a guard breathing down your neck. You had enough— so you attempted to leave your unhappy life, only to be dragged back. 

“Yes, Mother. I know. You’ve told me this story many times.” You told her, avoiding her worried gaze. 

She grabbed onto one of your hands and held it tightly. “You understand why we worry, yes? You nearly terrified us half to death the last time you slipped away from us.” 

The previous attempt had been because you were curious of the world outside the city’s walls.

“I know, Mother. I’m sorry for worrying you.” You felt a little bad for the anguish you caused her, but deep down, you still had a desire to leave the life your parents were planning out for you. That, and you wished to wander freely without the daunting stone walls caging you in and without an annoying guard to watch over you as if you were a baby. 

You promised your mother that night that you would be reasonable in the future, yet, that was also the last night you ever talked to her. Because that night, you escaped for good. You left the royal city, posing as a guard, and finally, finally tasted the sweetness of freedom that you had been dreaming of for what felt like forever.

Life outside the royal city was harsh, and the weather was even harsher, yet you weren’t completely useless. General Capitano had taught you enough so that you could successfully survive on your own and protect yourself against foes. 

The first village you stumbled upon for solace was a riverside village— one with a number of fishermen and lumberjacks. They welcomed you with open arms, happy to have a new addition to their cozy little home. You didn’t stay long, but their hospitality had always stuck with you. 

One person that always stuck with you was a boy a year younger than you who went by the name Kinich. 

Kinich had been taken in by the others in the village when he was very young, shortly after his parents had passed away. At the time, he had been living in a small hut on the outskirts of the village. When he came stumbling over after all food in his home had run out, the elders of the village took him in with open arms and raised him. 

Kneeling by the riverbed and gathering water into a flask, you spotted something laying in the sand just underneath the shallow water. Your curiosity took over, and you reached forward to pick it up. Your fingers smoothed over its surface as you turned it this way and that, trying to make out what it was in the dying sunlight.

“It’s a seashell.” A voice behind you said.

You jumped and turned, almost falling into the river as you did so. The boy acted quickly, pulling on your arm to prevent you from falling in. As soon as you were safely back onto the riverbed, he let go of you and pointed to the object in your palm. 

“That’s a seashell.”  He repeated.

Your eye twitched and you sent him a look. “I heard you the first time,” you quipped, glancing down at the shell in your palm, “what’s this doing here, anyway? I thought the closest oceanside town was on the other side of the region near Seameet Port?” 

He wasn’t phased by your nasty tone. “It’s from Augustbury. By the shore.” 

Your eyes widened at the name of the desert-side town. “Augustbury is far South… How did you get this? Are you from there?” 

He wordlessly shook his head. “Another nation.” Well, that explained his foreign name. “Came here when I was young. What about you?” 

Looking away from his striking green and yellow eyes, you looked back down at the shell laying in your palm. You turned it over, silently admiring it. You always wanted to see the ocean. Instead, you had been forced to live in a castle in the mountains far up north. But now… you could do whatever you pleased, whenever you pleased. 

You didn’t have a guard breathing down your neck, and no parents to lecture you anymore. You were free. You could roam the continent and see the wonders the world had to offer. You could go to Augustbury. 

Realizing you hadn’t answered his question, you stood up and met his gaze head on, a determined look in your eyes. You made up a lie, claiming you were from Northpass— a small village located on the outskirts of Eirene’s land and a bit north of this one. It was a renowned hunting village, but considerably poor. 

Kinich, who’s expression hadn’t changed from one of stoicism this entire time, took in your words. Whether or not he believed your lie, you didn’t know. But he never asked any further questions, and instead leaned down to pick up another shell laying in the sand. 

“This is a conch. If you put it up to your ear, you can hear the sound of ocean waves.” 

The following two months, you met Kinich at the riverbank, and he told you stories of all kinds of relics he had found in Augustbury by the shore. Each one he picked from his collection had a story behind it. You listened attentively as he entranced you with his voice, and he’d look away from you nervously, not used to such attention being directed his way.

It was only when a herd of royal guards had raided the village that you decided it was time for you to leave. The screaming of the townsfolk as the guards ransacked their houses and threatened to kill anyone who was incompetent rang in your ears for days to come. The sight of blazing fire was burned into the back of your eyelids and the smell of smoke lingered heavily in your nose for weeks. 

The once lively village that Kinich had called his home ever since he was a child had been ransacked and torn, burned completely to ashes by knights who you had once sworn oaths to protect your family. A bitter hatred settled deep in your gut as you witnessed their destruction. 

The last time you set your sights on Kinich had been amidst your escape. His figure was aglow with the light of orange flames, and tears had been streaming down his tan cheeks. The look of utter despair had been one you never saw on him until that moment, and the guilt eating away at your heart never ceased. You had to leave without him, lest the guards find you. 

You never saw him again. The hope you held in your heart for years to see him once more had been snuffed out. 

“Thanks for yer help, Sir!” A sailor saluted Kinich firmly, stumbling on his own feet as he set the barrel of goods down onto the musty deck of the ship. “Without another pair of hands, we might not’ve been able ta load this here ship by sunset!” 

Kinich nodded curtly, taking a glance at the rather old and decrepit ship. “It was no trouble. I’m sworn to help those in need.” 

The sailor waved him off. “Whateva ya say, kid. Hey, ya need a ride back to Eirene?” The sailor wiped off his forehead with a dirty cloth and set it down on the barrel. “We’re headin’ tha’ direction on our way back to Alryne.” 

Kinich mulled over the offer. He wasn’t in a hurry to get back to Eirene by all means. He wasn’t expected back for a few weeks, as he was still on the quest the King had sent him on a month prior. 

The quest had sent him on a wild goose chase to find an ancient relic stolen from the King’s vault by a master thief with no fixed appearance. How he was supposed to find and capture the criminal when he had nothing to go off of regarding their appearance eluded him. 

All the information he was given was that they were last seen here, in Augustbury, and bought a treasure map off a merchant. Kinich had searched the town high and low, asking all around and even finding the merchant who sold the map, only to come up empty handed. 

No one could give him any details. Strange. 

On top of that, the lost royal highness, the King and Queen’s only child, had been spotted in Aeris— right outside the royal capital —just a week ago. Because of that, the kingdom had been bustling with activity and uproar. If someone located and found the missing royal, they would be paid handsomely by the royal family for their efforts. 

Kinich didn’t care much for a rumor, but he did care about the reward. Whatever it was. He’d gladly take the money and flee the continent to the piece of land bordering this region by sea— the northern, barren lands of a mountainous kingdom called Cairnfelle. 

He’d leave the guard and live out the rest of his life there, free of stress or worry. Knowing him, he’d still take up mercenary work. He couldn’t stay still for one moment, after all. 

“I’m not expected back to my post for a while,” he finally answered, “but there is someplace I’d like you to drop me off. It should be on the way.” 

Without another word, he handed a small pouch of mora to the sailor and hopped aboard the ship. 

The Island of Kairos was once said to be home to a magnificent goddess who ruled over time and wind. The legend stated that once, long long ago, the ancient people of Cairnfelle had erected a glorious temple to honor her and sing her praises. 

As the years passed, the temple deteriorated and the people slowly forgot their goddess, leaving the island in a state of disarray. It slowly became a place unwelcoming to outsiders, draped in a thick fog and drawing many ships to shipwreck ashore from the storms raging just on the outskirts of the fog. 

The island was said to have been in a perpetual state of early morning. Whether or not that was true, Kinich was about to find out. 

Many adventurers in their lifetimes had attempted to reach this island, only to get caught in the swirling protecting storms and meet their untimely demise. 

Kinich was risking his life to reach this island. All for a wild goose chase that he was sure was futile. But he had to do this. He was indebted to the royal family, after all. 

The captain of the ship stepped up next to him, a wary look in his eyes. “Are ya sure ya wanna brave that storm, kid?” 

“Yes.”

That was all he said on the matter, and the captain left him alone for the remainder of the trip. 

“We’re nearing the storm, Cap!” A sailor shouted. “What should we do? We’ll get caught up in it!” 

Kinich turned to the crew. “Do you have a rowboat? I’ll go through it on my own.” 

“What!?” One of them cried incredulously. “You’ll die! It’s too risky!” 

He simply shrugged. “I’ve been through worse. Ever fight monsters from the Abyss head on? A dragon, by chance? A god?” 

The crew was silent. He clicked his tongue. “A simple storm is nothing compared to the foes I’ve faced. Now, do you have a rowboat?” 

Bracing the storm was a feat of skill. But he had spent long enough with Eirene’s Naval fleet to get by just fine. 

It was as if the storm was alive. As if it was trying to push him back and prevent him from reaching the shore. But he persisted, despite the amount of saltwater he swallowed and the coldness of the water drenching his hair and armor. 

Finally, in a last ditch effort as he steadily approached the sand, he stood and launched himself off the rowboat and into the shallow water, paving his way to the shore with heavy arms. He coughed, choking up the saltwater that had gotten in his mouth from the swim, and took a few moments to catch his breath. 

He looked up, meeting the sight of looming pillars and the presence of an eerie wind. He had made it. Successfully. 

He laid on the sand for a short while, staring up at the foggy sky with half lidded eyes. All of a sudden, he felt tired. His whole body felt heavy, as if it was being pulled into the earth. His eyes, struggling to stay open, fell closed unwillingly, and he slipped into a deep sleep. 

The image of his parents filled his head, both of them working in tandem in the same one-room house. Confused, he looked around, taking in the sight of the house he had lived in as a child back in Seameet. 

His mother was cutting up their last stash of grainfruits in the kitchen, her hands working diligently as she absentmindedly hummed a tune he hadn’t heard in many years. 

His father stumbled through the doorway, a beer bottle clutched tightly in his hand. His eyes were glazed over with drunkenness, his words slurring together in a mix of something incoherent. 

Kinich felt his stomach drop. His mother’s eyes sharpened as she set down the cutting knife and rounded on her husband. The two began yelling, and he couldn’t hear a word of it over the ringing in his ears. He went rigid, watching the scene play out before him, his lip trembling at the sight of his mother. 

He remembered now. This was the day his mother left and never returned, leaving him alone with his father. 

He knew how this would play out. His father, in a fit of drunken rage, would raise his hand on Kinich’s mother, and leave her sobbing on the floor. She’d continue making dinner, only to stop midway and retreat to the backyard. His father would leave the house to take his anger out elsewhere, and Kinich would be left to cry alone. 

Then, when his father came back, they’d look for his mother, only to find her gone. 

He jolted awake in a panic, clutching his chest as he heaved and tried to make sense of his surroundings. He was still on the Island of Kairos, right in the sand where he had been when he arrived. 

He sighed heavily, his body shaking ever so slightly as he calmed himself down from the memory he relived. Scrunching his brows together, he turned to look up at the gargantuan, deteriorated temple behind him. 

Had that been a lingering effect of the island? 

He stood, his legs a little wobbly, and began his trek into the ancient temple. He searched the place high and low, but it was no use. There was nothing here— no relics, no treasures from a bygone era, just dust and rubble and the lingering scent of dandelions. 

Strange. Dandelions were Cairnfelle’s trademark…

Had someone been here recently? He decided to do one more check of the perimeter, just to be safe. He scanned the walls, looking for anything out of place that could give away a hidden room of sorts. He pressed along the stone, his patience running thin the more he searched and came up empty handed. 

There had to be something here. He could feel it. 

He slammed his fist against the wall in frustration, only to hear an eerie creaking of stone. He looked up, his eyes widening as the wall opened and revealed some sort of ritual room. It was filled with incense, freshly picked cecilia flowers, and dandelion seeds laying on an ornate plate on the altar in the center. 

He took one step forward, only for his vision to go dark. 

“Are you sure about this?” Leena questioned, glancing over at you as she leaned over the unconscious body of the man you knocked out in the temple. 

You shrugged. “Not really, but this sword’s incredible!” You gently ran your fingers over the blade. “This’ll sell nicely! Imagine the reward they’ll pay for a captain of the royal guard’s weapon! Lady Kairos is smiling upon us today!” 

Leena sent you a deadpan look and sighed heavily. She stood up straight and placed her hands on her hips. “You’re insufferable, you know that?” 

Despite the insult, there was a fond smile on her lips. She took the sword from your hands and slid it back into its scabbard. “And stop touching it with your grubby hands! If you really want it to sell, then you can’t smudge the metal!” 

You raised your hands in surrender and took a step back. “Alright alright!” You snatched the sword from her hands and smirked as you gazed down at the man laying on the deck of your ship. 

Leena glanced at you. “What are we gonna do with him?” 

“He came all the way out here for our heads. I’d love to return the favor by cutting off his, but he’s useless as a dead man. We’ll send a ransom note to their royal shitasses.” 

She winced. “Will that even work? The King and Queen of Eirene don’t really care about their captains. The only thing they’ve ever cared about is finding their lost child.” 

“It’ll work.” You said confidently, gazing out at the pristine sea. 

The island was far from view now, only a speck on the horizon. A small part of you felt empty upon leaving. You had done your utmost to start rebuilding the temple to its former glory, starting with that ritual room. Ever since, you’ve received nothing but good luck. 

Fate, and Lady Kairos, was surely smiling upon you for your good natured efforts. 

“It’ll work because this man’s no ordinary captain,” you turned to glance at him again, his face ringing a bell in your mind, “he holds a beast within him. One that could destroy everything we hold dear. He’s Eirene’s ace in the hole— the one thing they care about.” 

Leena searched your face, a look of uneasiness in her verdant eyes. She bit her lip. Her orange-brown skin glowed under the dying sunlight.

With a huff, she let out a hesitant, “Fine. I trust you, Captain.” 

Your well thought out plan was in full swing, and it was only a matter of time before your prisoner awoke from his beauty sleep. Tasking your best friend and trusted right hand to look after him, you tended to that stubborn cannon down below the deck with another one of your crew. 

Leena sat next to the prisoner, tying knots into ropes and occasionally tossing a grape into her mouth from the bowl sitting to her left. 

The man next to her stirred, and she jumped as he began to struggle against his binds. His striking eyes met hers, and a chill ran down her spine. He clenched his jaw, his eyes narrowing at her. 

“Release me.” 

“I’m sorry. I cannot.” 

They stared at each other for a few long and tense moments, before a small voice called out. “Auntie Leena!” 

She panicked, her eyes widening as she spotted her nephew running towards her with a full plate of food in his hands. He dodged past the other crew members, the food almost slipping off the plate. 

“Yanqing! Stay away from here, you’re supposed to be in the Captain’s quarters!” She jumped forward, stopping the little boy from getting any closer to the prisoner. 

He held the plate up, sending her a wide-toothed smile. “Look! Momma and I made you food! Well, I made it all by myself and she watched!” 

She took the plate from him and ruffled his blonde hair. “Very good! I’m proud of you.” She sent him a warm smile. 

He basked in her praise, before his golden eyes landed on the prisoner behind her. His eyes sparkled as he saw the intricate gold armor, the same shade of his very own eyes. He stared at the man in awe. 

You swung down from one of the masts, skidding onto the deck with practiced ease and waltzing over to the prisoner with a confident stride. 

The man’s eyes widened upon seeing you, his mouth falling open in utter shock. As you opened your mouth, he interrupted, your name falling from his lips. 

The smirk on your lips vanished, replaced with a tight-lipped frown. Leena glanced between the two of you, her eyes calculating as her brows furrowed. 

“Do you know him, Cap?” 

You didn’t  answer, staring the man you once knew directly in the eyes. He had changed. He was no longer the scrawny kid with an air of despair around him. He wasn’t the same kid that collected seashells and could talk for hours about the stories behind each one. 

There was no fire in his eyes. Not anymore, at least. 

He was firmly built, with defined muscles and a set jaw, and a bandanna wrapped around his forehead. He was cloaked head to toe in Eirene’s standard Sunfleet armor. He had joined the very people who tore down the village he once called home. 

You had nothing left in you but disgust. How could he join them when they took everything from him? 

If there was a deeper reason why, you wouldn’t hear it. You wouldn’t listen to reason, not when Eirene had taken everything from you. Well, almost everything. 

Yanqing gripped your leg, and you placed a comforting hand on his head. “Go with Auntie Leena. Momma has work to do, okay?” 

The small boy of eight nodded and took Leena’s hand. The woman next to you sent you a look that screamed ‘we’re going to talk about this later’, and followed the little boy to the other end of the ship. 

“Long time no see, Kinich.” 

Kinich nodded ever so slightly. “Where have you been all these years?” 

You gestured to the ship. “Saving up enough for this. I see you’ve joined Eirene.” You crossed your arms over your chest, the scowl on your lips a sharp sight. 

His expression softened. “You still hate Eirene…” 

“They took everything from me. And they did the same to you.” You spat. “Why on Kairos’ green earth did you join up with the enemy!?” 

A small silence passed as he glanced around the ship, avoiding your gaze. “After Eastlily fell, the Captain of the Guard showed up. He slaughtered the remaining men who burned down our village and offered us a safe haven within Eirene’s royal capital. I’m indebted to not only him, but the King and Queen who showed their kindness to us.” 

The mention of the King and Queen ruffled your feathers, and you slammed your fist into the wall above his head. His eyes wandered back to you, and he shuffled in his binds. 

You took a deep breath, trying to calm the rising anger. You stepped back. “You’re not going back to Eirene. Not unless I get what I want.” 

“And that is?” 

You leaned down, your face inches from his. His striking eyes took in your features, lingering a little too long on your lips. 

With a smirk, you giggled softly. “Revenge.”

footnotes. i procrastinated so hard with this piece, but im happy with the ending at least!! i'll definitely write a part 2 in the future since we haven't even scratched the surface of the mc and kinich's relationship in this au 😭 i might make it a bunch of small oneshots and turn it into a series that way! idk we'll see (mc is around 27-28 in the last timeskip, and kinich is 26. at the age of 19, mc fell in love with someone from cairnfelle and they had a child together. a few years later, that person was killed in the war between eirene and cairnfelle.) yes, yanqing is the same yanqing from hsr!! he'll be showing up as the mc's son in my neuvi fic as well bc the mc from this fic and the one from my neuvi fic r almost the same person! the only difference between them is that THIS mc is royalty and also gn, while the mc from "abandon ship" is the daughter of a sailor and specifically said to be a woman. and YES, our lovely leni made an appearance!! <33 it'll be mentioned later on in "abandon ship," but leni's real name is leena! she switched it after people in fontaine kept mispronouncing her name as "leni". tired of correcting them, she decided to go by the name leni instead. it's kind of a nickname now :))

© 2024 mikashisus. do not plagiarize, copy, repost, feed to ai, or translate my works to any other platforms.

[kaymarie-bell]

Going feral over the Ithaca Saga rn

spoilers below (it's me yapping about the things I've noticed in each song)

The Challenge:

The 🎻Penelope🎻leitmotif to tells us who's about to (FINALLY) sing

I'm gonna be honest, I had heard all the snippets of this song because I wanted to hear Penelope SO BAD but I love having the actual song out

I knew this was going to be one of my top 3 from the beginning

I love the drums, especially when the suitors begin to sing

Penelope sounds so serious while issuing the challenge, it's very different from the snippets. (great choice! it's a dire situation)

"I'd rather die than grow old without The Best of you" knowing damn well The Best is Odysseus 😭💖

Anna held that final note for so long holy shit

Hold Them Down

I liked the repetition of the challenge by the suitors. Terrifying.

Ayron Alexander is a great singer, I had to listen twice because I got distracted by his voice so I missed what he was saying until the "hold her down". 😔

The lyrics are brutal. Jay did an amazing job 👏

Oof that sound at the end was disturbing. 100/10

Odysseus

THIS is the Ody Crashes Out song

OH! The beginning has the same structure as The Horse and the Infant / Monster

"I. Have Had. Enough." Cue Ody's leitmotif

The chanting of "Odysseus" to show HE'S the threat right now

Wait this is just Polyphemus/Survive but we're rooting for the cyclops

HE'S AIMING FOR THE TORCHES (we are the same you and I~)

YOU DON'T THINK I KNOW MY OWN PALACE? I BUILT IT 🏹

"Let's have Open Arms instead-" / 🏹 "No."

"Legendary" melody to announce Telemachus 😭

Is that Athena's quick thought leitmotif? I need Jay's visuals 😫

MICO did such a great job omg

the soundscaping is really good as always. I can picture the scene very well

"Mercy? MERCY?" 🏹

Jay with the crazy voice acting again 👏

The final "Odysseus" chant is the same one as the end of No Longer You 🫵

I Can't Help but Wonder

I might be wrong, but I think the beginning goes from Just a Man to the Legendary leitmotif 😭

Acoustic guitar because this is an emotional song

Ngl I cried a lot with this one

MY SON, I'M FINALLY HOME 🗣

🗣TELEMACHUS~🗣

I can't tell if the piano in the background is playing a previous melody. I need the musician YouTubers to drop their analyses asap 😩

Quick thought. MY QUEEN IS BACK.

"Show yourself, I know you're watching me"

Athena sounds so much more...human? She really changed!

Athena basically:...should we try Open Arms now? / Ody:...too late for me I fear

"Father? She's waiting for you"

Would You Fall in Love with Me Again

The deep breath before the 🎻Penelope🎻😭

I love how the strings build up/speed up! it translates Ody's anxiousness/anticipation so well. And all goes quiet when the door opens

Anna sounds so beautiful 💖

The lyrics are wrecking me so bad. Thinking about "So much has changed, but I'm the same, yes I'm the same!" previously 😭

"What kind of things did you do?" /

"Left a trail of red on every island" *Ruthlessness melody*

"As I traded friends like objects I could use" *Thunder Bringer melody*

"Hurt more lives than I can count on my hands" *Scylla melody*

"But all of that was to bring me back to you. So tell me, would you fall in love with me again if you knew all I've done? The things I can't undo"

Penelope's last test with their bed.

Odysseus: "I am not the man you knew"

Penelope: "IF that's true...could you do me a favor?"

Odysseus being so hurt about the suggestion of cutting down their wedding bed 😭

Odysseus: "the only way to move it, is to CUT IT FROM ITS ROOTS!"

Penelope: "only my husband knew that, so I guess that MAKES HIM YOU!"

She didn't ask him because she doubted it was her husband, she asked him because HE was doubting HIMSELF OH MY GOD-

I would fall in love with you, over and over again, I don't care how where or when,

No matter how long it's been YOU'RE MINE

DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE NOT THE SAME PERSON! YOU'RE ALWAYS MY HUSBAND and I've been Waiting, Waiting!

WAITING!....for you (with the word "for" sung in the same melody the crew used to sing "Oh, whoah-oh-oh Odysseus." Wait is this her saying she accepts him monster and all? 😭)

*Just a Man orchestra ver.* I had a feeling Jay would do this, and yet I was NOT emotionally prepared for it at all

This song is basically: Odysseus hurt because he thinks Penelope confirmed his fear (she cannot love him anymore) by telling him to cut down the tree 🤝 Penelope upset with Odysseus because how dare he doubt her love (they love each other so much)

Penelope: "How long has it been?"

Odysseus: "Twenty years"

Both: "I Love You"

I'm so sick. Jorge can write a damn good love song for sure.

I'm sad about this being over but I'm also so very happy about finally having all these songs. This has been a great journey, and I can't wait to see what he does moving forward ❤️

[conkreetmonkey]

It's gotten to the point where I actually just can't think of the job market even a little or I become enraged. I want to work so fucking bad, but there's just no work to be had, and my parents live on another fucking planet where full time day jobs grow on trees and I'm just lazy for not walking into the Job Repository and picking up my Free Job. I love them but when they talk like this I want to insult them right back. They act like they're "barely scraping by" when they're NOT and it makes me mad. Genuinely like I just can't even think of the concept of employment anymore without wanting to lunge at and kill something. I'd do fucking anything, I keep applying to factories and retail and food service, I'd shovel horse shit for 12 hours a day if given the oppourtunity, but there are just NO. FUCKING. JOBS. I hate living in a society with absolutely no place for me so goddamn much. But I can't leave, because you need money to leave, and a job to get money. And EVERYBODY my age feels this way. Why were we even born if we were just to be discarded and told to fuck off and die once we stopped being cute little kids like fucking teacup piglets. Is that all I ever was? A pet? No thought ever given to what there was for me after I turned 18? This economic system, as it is, has no room for me. Like, I'm intending to stay alive just out of spite because fuck you world for expecting me to willingly lie down and take this, but... god. It's so fucking bleak and depressing. At least we're all united in this, so when the oldies finally croak we can build something better and not repeat their mistakes. It just sucks in the meantime. Like, could the economy stop edging itself and just collapse already? How much fucking longer can a house stand unsold at a ludicrous but rock-solid asking price and a company's framework strain and creak under an ever-fattening CEO paycheque before we finally get some cathartic release? I want to start my adult life. We all do. And we're waiting, because that's all we can really do. Wait for the bad times to run their course, and support each other in the meantime.

[crehador]

i still distinctly remember when arb first came out i said i would reroll only until i got ssr ichiro or ssr samatoki, would have been happy with either! but before i got any roll with one of them, i got BOTH TOGETHER IN ONE SHOT

used up all my gacha luck for life there

or so i thought

IT

SOMEHOW

HAPPENED AGAIN??????

[redlenai]

Whenever I think about a nice Jimmy AU, he ends up being like, that one motherfucker actor in a movie that could create a one hour long blooper video on his own (He is defo broken inside with the abandonment issues and still with the homoerotic tension with the Captain) but he copes by being funny.

You know what, screw it, headcanon time

Relationship with the other members:

Curly: Rivals and Besties, Curly isn't aware that the homoerotic jokes aren't just jokes. He thinks Jimmy is just unhinged and trying to make him break character so he doesn't look as professional

Daisuke: Jimmy is a terrible example for the intern, Daisuke wants to be friends but the "How do you do fellow kids?" attitude makes him cringe

Swansea: The elder scolds him for distracting Daisuke and being so unserious, Jimmy only behaves the days Sawnsea is using chanclas

Anya: She and Jimmy are forced to almost never be in the same place at the same time, if she laughs, Jimmy keeps on going with the jokes and none of them get anything done.

Other dumb scenarios I magined:

There is no crash (Nor anything bad happening), when Curly tells Jimmy about the meteorite the other just "Hit the gas, I wanna see it up-close"

On medbay he would just go into the bed, get in all fours (fully clothed) and "Doctor Anya! I'm ready for my colonoscopy~" in a high pitched voice. He stops the seconds he hears Anya putting on her gloves.

He saw Daisuke taking a nap in the living area, he waited until the other woke up with a leg cramp just to slap it "YOU NEED MORE POTASIUM"

Whenever he has to go to the Utility area, Swansea knows he is coming because Jimmy ALWAYS hums Tchaikovsky (The Swan Lake theme) just to piss him off.

In the Cockpit, Jimmy once was open legged on his seat, Curly told him to sit properly and the other just "What? Tempted at the pussy that faces the world?"

Some nice!Jimmy quotes? As if what I did up wasn't quotes, yeah:

"Give me the gun, Curls. Daisuke doesn't know what Vine is"

"Listen Anya, you may have told Curly about the cartoon horse thing, but I'm not the one with a cowboy fetish"

"Swansea, we want pae--" (Got hit by a chancla)

"You better work hard Daisuke, mom and dad don't like Jissapointments"

"YOU BIIEEEEECH!" (Anya bought the land he wanted in Monopoly)

"Es una mierda este juego" (The only spanish sentence he knows, "This game is shit")

"Curls. Save a horse, ride a cowboy"

Writing a nice Jimmy au be so funny. If you remove like all the evil stuff from him it’s really just some guy with abandonment issues and a homoerotic relationship with the captain.

[valkyurii]

it’s funny how things have gone full circle with malenia. she was so hated when the game first came out, but then people grew to like her. then the dlc came out and now people hate her again lmao

[whosname]

[Id. Hijikata in his salarymen au persona. He looks very tired and has mayo hairpins on his hair; he is fidgeting with a pencil and has some nicotine patches on his chest and arm. Some messages from Kintoki on his right read "wait, the pdf looks blurry... (...) I attach the branding (it's just a logo)" End Id.]

Venting again.

[newvegascowboy]

horse patch update! they have toes again

[bitemedotmp3]

Human history isn't a topic that receives a lot of attention in Uzi's classes, usually just a few footnotes regarding important things like the invention of the transistor, how many wars they've had (a lot!) and the creation of worker drones. But humans really seem to like horses, somewhere up above pigs and cows, but below cats and dogs. They show up in movies, video games, and anime all the time, so they're a big deal!

'Haven't you ever seen a horse before?!' barks Maria, dispersing the crowd outside the record store. Maybe they haven't. Uzi hasn't. When they finally clear and Uzi can see why they were all gathered around, she-

Hm.

Well.

Uzi stares. "Wow, the pictures were way off," she says. At least when Maria explains he's supposed to be bigger, it makes her feel slightly less let down, because you're supposed to ride horses, and there's no way a full-grown human is riding this guy.

"They nerfed your horse?" she snorts. "Didn't even know they could do stuff like that. Poor guy." Wait, so the size isn't normal but the color is?

Despite the disappointment, Uzi runs a quick diagnostic and finds her internal temperature isn't too hot right now. Even if Blue is a bit of a let-down, she doesn't want to let the moment go to waste. "Can I pet him? You do that with horses, right?"

Maria smiles, happy to hear she's got something lined up for the future. She puts away the records and leads Uzi outside the store...

Up until she hears that horses are extinct whenever Uzi's from, which gives Maria pause for a good, long moment...

But she puts that thought in the back of her mind and continues on her way.

Some of the residents are gawking at the small blue horse tied to the bike rack, but Maria shoos them away. "Go on, git! Haven't you ever seen a horse before?!"

The onlookers skedaddle, and Maria lets out a sigh after losing her cool.

"Sorry about that. This here's Mister Blue. He's, uh, not usually this small. But he's my horse, and I love him just the same."

"Say hi, Blue."

Mister Blue snorts "hello."

[devilsskettle]

i feel like i’ve been WAITING for the other shoe to drop wrt people’s opinions about watcher for this very reason. not that i think the reaction is completely not understandable but the greater the parasocial relationship, the greater the fallout as soon as public opinion shifts. you don’t have a relationship with these people they’re just content creators, chill

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

having twin peaks thoughts & theories bc i just started watching the return (i know spoilers ofc) and i have literally nowhere else to put my thoughts so i'm just gonna dump them here.

obviously i don't every single thing about twin peaks was meant to just be like... One Thing and that's it. i think there's room for interpretation for a reason butttt the one thing i just keep going back to about the show is just that. like. it's about the corruption of innocence and the perversion of family. of cycles of violence and abuse. children being sexually taken advantage of by "trusted" adults. teenage prostitution rings. barely a single relationship in the town wherein people aren't cheating on someone/cheated in the past. bob being "the evil that men do" (tbf this is technically just albert's theory but i choose to believe it) and now this weird thing with judy/the experiment (are they the same thing? idk yet) being the thing that CREATED bob? there's this weird thing i get with the black lodge/waiting room like... good people can't survive there without disappearing completely (nonexistence) or being permanently changed (in the case of annie, ig)

and then ofc you have the tormented souls being trapped there (laura, maddy, caroline(tbh idk what was going on w her doppelganger being there?), leland(he was originally a victim too, i'm getting there)) because of the things that were done TO them. i was thinking like. in regards to the frogmoth that crawled into sarah's mouth (when she was a child) and everything that's going on w/ her in the return (watching insanely violent things on tv, "eating" men, etc.) ... compounded with leland's story about bob "I was just a boy. I saw him in my dreams. He said he - he wanted to play. He opened me and I invited him and he came inside me." ... mr. c's introduction song being a twisted version of "american woman" (i've heard this is also related to diane's doppelganger, as well. makes sense) w/ the stand-out lyrics (aka the backwards ones) being "all my headstrong women... don't let em put you in a corner. make em salute you like a flag on the fourth of july." and sarah palmer having a shortened and remixed version of "good man" blaring in her house that just repeats the lyrics "i'm a good man. i'm having fun." like. there's smth to this i'm not insane...

anyways to go even FURTHER... there being specific emphasis on being in the right time and the right place. opposites (giant and dwarf, young and old, black and white, etc.) and the planets jupiter and saturn.

the experiment violently killing that couple that was watching the glass box bc they were having sex? or because they were(n't) watching? or both? the experiment very obviously being the thing inside of sarah but it pulling off it's own face within sarah and revealing a smile that looks eerily similar to laura's (even if not exact... ppl are such pedants about things being exact in this show where literally everything is drenched in like 8 metaphors at any given time) AND the laura in the black lodge/waiting room removing her own face in the exact same way. it's weird that in this instance, laura's dialectical opposite or opposing force is her own mother who she claims she has so much in common with. but this goes even a step further because when the experiment spawned in the glass box, it has a gold orb (or smth like it) like the one laura's like... spirit? was born from? AND APPARENTLY there's a little clip of what sounds like sheryl lee's voice saying "gone" or "the one" or something like that while the experiment is flying towards them (not unlike an owl) to kill them... hm. not to mention the experiment has a proboscis-like knife that comes out of its mouth that it uses to kill the guy sexually harrassing sarah at the bar... and carrie page has a dead guy in her motel room that has a hole in his head... could obviously def just be a bullet-wound LMAO but idk let's have fun w it!

i do think there's a crazy connection between sarah, laura, and the experiment/judy/whatever. "the room seems different... and men are coming. something happened to me. i don't feel good..." obviously, i will be able to make more connections and add to this theory as i watch more but from what i've seen i think there's a huge connection to children and how easily it is for them to be taken advantage of (literally every member of the palmer family was taken advantage of as a child when an evil entity entered them. i mean. how more on the nose can you be!!) or for their innocence to get stolen (prostitution, drugs, murder, becoming child brides to abusive older men... the list goes on). and there's obvious themes of intense sexual violence and dreams and blahhhh. it's like 5:30am and i'm theorizing about a show that will never have an actual answer LMAO... to be fair though it's not ABOUT actually "solving" it for me. i think most media works well when you get what you want or need from it and just kind of make that The Point and, for me, twin peaks will always be about the tragedy of laura palmer before it's about anything else!

i really do like that theory that dale cooper is just like. an entity that laura dreamed up to save her originally but in the end, after she had finally escaped being laura palmer and that life and that house and her trauma, he ended up bringing her right back to it. it's like. how does that not make people insane?

[bbygirlverstappen]

.

[anmaries]

I think about this issue sometimes because she’s soooo quick on her feet. She’s always ready to jump into action and figure out a situation. It makes sense why people like steve rogers keep wanting her to be a leader type; she’s empathetic, she’s smart, and she’s decisive. she knows how to make those split second decisions and she’s all about putting herself in the line of fire to keep everyone else safe (see also: rogue not caring about herself and so the choice of self sacrifice is an easy one if it means saving her loved ones / innocent people)