#all i wanted to do was a horse and then i was like wait i should put it in an environment
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I gotta wonder how much of this is OpenAI and others like them and their general approach to business being:
This isn't an exaggeration. Because OpenAI is publicly traded, they have to be honest with their investors, and have openly said "we have no idea how we will ever turn a profit."
Beyond them, most players in the space are looking to get bought by a Microsoft or Sony and jump for the exits before they realize the sack is mostly full of rocks.
OpenAI has always operated under a "we'll use all this investor money to brute-force the largest datasets possible, make something impressive, show it off, and then wait for more investor money to roll in." A process that is by its nature inefficient and expensive.
Ever notice how there was no Dall-E 2.5? OpenAI isn't interested in incremental improvements to their products because they're making tech demos. It's very impressive on first release, but to this day Dall-E 3 doesn't have basic functionality like seeds, upscalers, aspect ratios, post-generation editing, or even the ability to iterate a previous gen.
If your money doesn't come from your users, then you have no incentive to adapt to their needs and you stagnate.
Midjourney, on the other hand, has neither investors nor these problems, because they're selling a product. You pay X amount, you get to play with the super-advanced etch-a-sketch, the simple process of money exchanged for a service. Because they have users to keep happy, they develop features that conform to their needs and develop in response to their behaviors.
And you can refine a model two ways, by expanding the dataset or by giving feedback to the current dataset's output. An active subscriber base gives you a means of doing the latter, and while very few people have a dataset to rival OpenAI's, many outperform them based purely on likes and ranking feedback from users.
This is why Chat-GPT has to be forced into everything. The main use of this tech isn't to replace artists, despite what OP might think. The use of generative AI as an art tool has always been secondary to its use as a toy, and that's what 98% of the userbase is using it for. Text is just the least fun toy in the box (at least as long as you're not allowing it to go NC-17)
youtube
Images, video and sound are the Fighting Frankie Action Figure everyone wants, and Chat-GPT says "Horse 'em!".
One of the most common first prompts on Midjourney is for a happy dog or cat playing in the clouds. These aren't people looking to make commercial work.
The AI products that people are going to wind up using and will have actual utility as productivity or entertainment services? They don't need investment because they have something people want to pay for. And the nature of the investment system means anyone who uses it is unlikely to ever make anything that people will want to pay for.
(full article here)
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A Hero's Buttery Addiction
Just a little short thing this time, featuring a certain Hylian hero discovering the joys of cooking with butter! Inspired by @plumpybread whose art helps me visualize how to write larger sizes WAY better than I used to. I know he's like, a legend in the community already but if you haven't seen his work somehow, please check it out! His art is so good!
A cool breeze blew through the air in Rito Village, blowing south from the Hebra Mountains. Link suppressed a shiver, feeling the brisk chill around the bottom of his tunic. He adjusted the feather-lined garment quickly, pulling it down to cover his abdomen, but it immediately started riding up on him as soon as he continued walking. The Hylian grumbled to himself, opting to try and ignore it while he stocked up on supplies at the general store. Link walked into the cozy open-air hut, nodding at the Rito shopkeeper with a warm smile as he piled all of the goat butter the shop had in stock into his satchel. He handed a pouch of rupees to the Rito as payment before walking out of the store to head back out adventuring Hyrule.
Link didn’t want to admit it to himself, but the Hylian has packed on some pounds in recent months. Once he had discovered the joys of cooking with goat butter, he never looked back, and the delicious, creamy, fattening substance had clearly affected his waistline. The sliver of pale, soft chub that peeked out from his warm Rito Tunic gave him a slight muffin top, and his thighs ever so slightly brushed together when he walked. Link seemed ignorant to these changes to his body, though; mentally, he attributed his tighter clothing to an ill-advised attempt at making a fan powered raft that fell apart, plunging him into icy cold water while fully clothed. To him, the cold water must have shrunk his clothing somehow! It couldn’t have anything to do with his new culinary obsession, surely!
The pudgy Hylian sat at a cooking pot, sorting through his available ingredients. Link pulled out a slab of prime meat, a large hearty bass, some Hylian mushrooms, and a stick of goat butter. He paused, thinking for a moment. If just one stick of goat butter improved the flavor of a dish so much… Why not use two? Reaching into his bag, Link grabbed another stick of butter, and tossed it into the pot with the rest of the food, watching it melt and coat the meat and mushrooms, sizzling delightfully. As soon as his meal was done, Link immediately took an eager bite, too hungry to wait any longer. The flavors exploded in his mouth, coating his tongue in a rich, oily sensation. This was amazing! He scarfed down the rest of the pile of meat, seafood, and mushrooms, patting his pudgy stomach in satisfaction. Link knew one thing for sure now: he was going to have to keep trying butter in more recipes if it made them taste this good!
Months passed, and Link’s reputation for cooking rich, decadent meals for himself grew. Shops all over Hyrule knew to stock up on extra goat butter, as the eager Hylian hero would travel to each and every settlement just to get his fix. As his desire for egregious amounts of butter grew, so did his waistline. Link had absolutely blown up since discovering that adding more butter to his cooking made it taste even better. The Hylian man was undeniably morbidly obese, and many of the citizens of Hyrule were a little bit worried about how rapidly he had descended into obesity, but none of them felt brave enough to try and broach the subject with the rapidly-fattening hero.
Link has taken to using his Purah Pad to teleport him directly to each town to minimize the amount of walking he had to do. For some reason he had been getting very tired even from brief walks lately, and his horse had been similarly exhausted just from short rides. Link materialized outside the shrine at Hateno Village, taking time to gather himself before the arduous walk downhill towards the general store. He somehow still didn’t realize the cause of his growing problems was the hundreds of pounds he’d packed onto his body in mere months. Link’s body was bloated with lard, to the point that he was nearing half a ton of fat on his once-lithe frame. His face was framed by a set of cherubic chipmunk cheeks, already flushed and sweaty just from a few slow, wobbling steps away from the shrine. His neck was buried under a ring of flab, graduating him from a double chin to a pronounced triple chin. His once-toned arms were replaced with bloated sacks of blubber the size of pillows, sagging down his sides and forcing his arms out at an angle even when not in use. His elbows were long buried under all of this lard, and even his wrists and hands were beginning to plump up at the joints, making bending his fingers and grabbing food a chore. His pecs had ballooned into flabby breasts that were just starting to droop down either side of his gut. The tunic he currently wore, his blue Champions Tunic that he was given over one hundred years ago, was stretched tightly across his chest, functioning more as a bra than a more decent article of clothing and riddled with rips and tears from stretching across so much flab. His former muffin top had graduated into a stack of fluffy love handles, pooling over the straight waistband of his trousers and , when combined with his flabby chest, were half of the reason his arms stuck out at such an angle now. His bloated thighs touched at every point no matter how far apart his spread his legs to walk, forcing him into a pronounced waddle. He couldn’t even bend his knees anymore; the flab from his thighs had long since enveloped the joints, joining his meaty calves in the downfall of his once-proud stride.
His biggest asset, however, was his gut. The slab of lard was a monument to his gluttony, forming an apron of flab that sagged down to his buried knees. Every slow, measured step he took, his stomach slapped against his meaty thighs, sending his entire flabby body jiggling and wobbling endlessly. The obese hero was sweaty and exhausted after just a few steps, panting and wheezing from the exertion of shifting just under half a ton of fat with every shuffling step, but his craving for butter-soaked food kept him from giving up on his journey to the store.
When the sweaty, huffing pile of lard finally made it, he shoved the door open with his titanic gut, dreading what came next. Link knew intimately well that doors and him didn’t mix these days, even if he refused to accept or acknowledge why. The Hylian was an absolute wall of flab and rolls, trying to force himself through a tiny doorway. The shopkeeper could only stare in horror and fascination as the legendary hero attempted to squeeze his enormous bulk into the store, wheezing from the exertion. He grabbed the doorframe with his pudgy fingers, trying to force his double-wide hips through, but his rolls and folds were firmly wedged. Link continued panting and groaning, his bulky body oozing around either side of the door frame, when an ominous cracking noise started to occur. Suddenly, with a loud snap, the wood of the doorway and the surrounding walls splintered, and Link stumbled through into the shop, his entire body wobbling from the sudden forward momentum. Barreling forward at speeds his obese form weren’t meant to handle, the lard-laden Hylian hero overbalanced, landing on his cascading gut with so much force that it shook the entire building. Merchandise clattered to the floor from the display shelves as shockwaves rippled through his body like an ocean, and he lay on the floor gasping for air after all of his weight knocked it out of his poor, overtaxed lungs. The shopkeeper looked at the damaged doorway in horror, knowing that no matter how much butter the legendary hero was here to purchase, it wouldn’t pay for the repair costs, especially with his increased visits. Something had to be done about the gluttonous hero, but what?
After the disastrous incident at the Hateno General Store, shopkeepers around Hyrule had begun taking Link’s purchases to him as he waited outside their shops, to minimize damage done to their buildings. It was a solution, for sure, but many worried about what would happen when Link grew too large to make the short walks to their stores from the teleport points at the towns’ shrines. Many ideas were proposed: shop stalls set up right at the shrines just for Link, some sort of horse and cart system to carry the growing hero to his destinations, even a conveyor belt to carry him to the store entrances was suggested! However, Link ended up solving the problem himself while cooking one day. He’d begun using his Ultra Hand powers to help him grab ingredients once his arms became basically useless at grabbing things around his enormous bulk. As he sat on a log that his fat ass almost completely devoured, using his prosthetic’s powers to move a fourth stick of butter into the cooking pot for the large hunk of gourmet meat he was sauteeing, Link got an idea. He used his fat sausage fingers to switch the function of his hand to the Copy ability, which usually only worked for building materials. He noticed that the sticks of butter were able to be copied, somehow. Confused, Link decided to try it out, multiplying one stick of goat butter into ten, and moving the pile onto his chest where he could inspect them better. The sticks of butter had a gentle greenish-blue glow to them, but otherwise appeared to be normal sticks of butter.
Link devoured the butter-soaked gourmet meat as he contemplated the glowing butter sticks nestled between his ample breasts when suddenly he was struck by an idea. Straining against the rolls of his arm fat, he craned his overburdened arm towards his chest, grabbing a stick of greenish butter in his fattened hands. Link brought the strange butter towards his pudgy lips slowly, his bountiful lard making it hard for him to reach his mouth with his pillowy arms. He finally shoved the stick of butter into his mouth, the oily fats coating his tongue. His blue eyes lit up as he swallowed: it was incredible! The duplicated butter tasted even richer and more delicious than normal goat butter, and that was without cooking it! Link shoved his hands under his bloated pecs, shifting their mass upwards and forcing the nine remaining sticks of magical butter directly in range of his greedy maw. The greedy Hylian began slurping down the stack of entire sticks of butter while using his Ultra Hand to create more copies, piling them up on his chest within easy eating distance. Link had no idea of the future he had just very quickly resigned himself to with this discovery, but the shopkeepers of Hyrule wouldn’t have to worry about their entryways being broken anymore.
The citizens of Hyrule whispered about what had become of their legendary hero. Shopkeepers quickly noticed his increasingly-frequent trips to their stores had stopped abruptly, leaving them with mixed feelings of concern for what could have happened to Link, but also relieved that they wouldn’t have to keep paying for hefty repair bills anymore. Only those who were closest to Link knew where he’d ended up, and why he’d disappeared altogether. When asked by any concerned Hylians, they would simply assure them that Link was fine, comfortable, and happily retired from adventuring.
Sidon, the newly-crowned king of Zora’s Domain, walked swiftly through the thick underbrush of a secluded forest region tucked away from any towns or roaming travelers. The red scaled Zora knew the way to go intimately, having made the journey many times over the year or so he’d been coming here in secret. Plus, it wasn’t too hard to find what he was looking for—All he had to do was follow the sounds of loud gurgling and slurping. Sidon crested the top of a hill, looking down into what had once been a lush, forested valley. The trees had long since been buried, the valley completely filled by a churning, wobbling mass of pale flab. He knew the mountainous blob below him was his most cherished partner, Link, the hero of Hyrule.
Sidon hopped down from the forested hill, sliding on his finned feet until he landed on the soft form below. It was harder than ever to tell exactly what part of Link’s swollen body he was standing upon, but Sidon was pretty sure it was his stomach. His gigantic gut was constantly stuffed with the replicated butter that Link was somehow constantly creating more of, causing the cascading waterfall of flab to grow more and more every moment as his body worked overtime to convert the literal gallons of butter he consumed into adipose. Sidon could feel the mountainesque stomach below his feet groaning and churning, causing the blobby body of his boyfriend to always be in some sort of state of movement even after long ago losing his mobility.
The Zora king began the long hike towards the center of Link’s growing mass, clinging desperately to whatever rolls and folds he could grab whenever a particularly strong tremor shifted the oceanic mass like tides crashing upon a shore. Sidon crested the top of Link’s stomach rolls after twenty minutes of climbing, trying to identify more parts of the blob’s body to use as landmarks. He could pretty easily find Link’s breasts due to his nipples, though they were a lot lower down than Sidon was now. Link’s tits were so huge that they’d lost all shape and form, sagging under their weight to the point that they drooped towards the lowest rolls of his gut. He could also guess where Link’s arms were from the location of his chest, gazing at the swollen pancake stacks of rolls directly above the meaty breasts. Sidon figured that Link’s hands must be buried under literal feet of flab at this point, looking at the divots where they’d long ago vanished. Even if he could unearth his fands from all of that lard, there was no way he’d be able to use them for anything aside from his Ultra Hand’s powers; his digits must be so coated in fat that they’d be barely recognizable as hands anymore.
Once he’d figured out where Link’s useless arms were, finding his head was easy. Sidon looked at the recessed dip in the blobby mountain between the boulder-sized fat deposits that used to be Link’s biceps and forearms towards where a constant flow of glowing green liquid was manifesting and pouring downward into. Sidon swiftly scrambled over Link’s bloated cleavage, taking care not to slip; he’d once made that mistake and it took him hours to wrench his leg free from the cavernous crevasse. Once he’d crested the twin hills of lard, it was easy going from there, as Link’s chins had multiplied into a nice staircase of neck rolls. As he descended down, Sidon entered what could only be described as a cavern of fat formed by the encroaching mass of Link’s flabby jowls and collapsing back rolls. He followed the green glow of magically-duplicated butter deeper into the humid cave, the sounds of hungry slurping and desperate moans growing louder and louder. Finally, Sidon reached the end of the vast fat cave and approached his boyfriend’s bloated face eagerly.
Link’s face was no longer recognizable, so covered in flab that no distinguishable features remained. Fat has long ago collapsed over his forehead, covering his eyes completely. His pointed ears were buried between rolls of cheek and back fat, as was his golden hair. All that remained was his mouth, though even that wasn’t enough to recognize him by. His lips had plumpened considerably, and were pinched between his engorged jowls into a permanent pout as he sucked down hundreds of gallons of melted magical butter. Sidon didn’t mind though, he loved Link no matter how fat he got. The Zora hero plopped himself down on one of Link’s cheeks, kissing his partner’s flabby face before settling down to watch him eat for a while. One thing was for sure, Link sure made a comfortable bed no matter where you laid on him now.
#male weight gain#weight gain#ssbhm#bhm weight gain#my writing#wg writing#ssbhm belly#fat writing#male feedism
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“I can’t sleep. I just think of you.”
(Rivals) Rupert Campbell-Black x Reader
Suggestion by the wonderful @nebulastarr / Rupert realises he’s in love with reader.
Sorry if this seemed a bit long winded, I just like a slow burn ya know.
18+ FANFIC / No smut, just a few lewd references & a soft, soppy mess 🫶🏽 Blood mention! Reader character aged 21. Please request any pieces you want! Just hit my ask box with a character and/or suggestion 💋
Whilst chopping a medley of large misshapen onions, the incessant ticking of your dining room grandfather clock taunted you — a constant reminding of passing time. You had been seeing Rupert Campbell-Black for a few weeks now. Well, you say seeing, more-so arriving at Penscombe Court as soon as he clicked his fingers, spreading your legs and letting him blow off steam. All truth be told, you hated being his personal call girl but you believed there was something so much more to it. You’d seen the way he’d glared at you as you unclipped your bra, eyes ablaze with passion. The way he touched you was no longer fuelled with lust, but was intricate and gentle — the tender touch of a man so eager to please such a dainty woman. Was he really beginning to fall for you, or is it wishful thinking? Seeing his chest rise and fall as he slept beside you kept you awake, speechless by the serenity of such a raucous man. Watching his lips contort as he laughed at your hopeless jokes, most likely out of pity, but sent a chill through you nonetheless. You were beginning to… grow rather fond of him.
Right on time, three firm knocks on the door made you jump, and you jolt slightly, scratching a wonky line into your chopping board. Before waiting for a response, Rupert entered the wooden door of your cottage and lowered himself into the kitchen. Leaning against the doorframe, he took a long pull of his cigarette, casting his carven face in an ashy amber glow. “Afternoon.” You chirp, pumping your speech with fake enthusiasm. Rupert replied only with a suave wink as he puffed once more on his cigarette. “I thought I’d cook first.” You respond to yourself, motioning to the variety of fresh vegetables laden across your kitchen countertop. “Oh darling, I haven’t come here for that.” Rupert chortled, his eyes following your every move. You felt your eyes subconsciously roll back to the back of your head.. you could call out his bullshit straight away.
“I’ve just been to look at a horse. Beautiful. Thoroughbred. And the woman advertising her was just gorg-“ He began, evidently trying to rile you. You felt your hand tighten around the large kitchen knife as you kept your eyes focused on your chopping board .. feeling your slices get more and more harsh by the second. “I don’t… want to hear it, Rupert.” You bark, gently placing down your knife and momentarily turning round to face him. You want him to see the jealousy flooding your eyes green. Rupert knew exactly what he was doing. Fighting back the most marvellous smirk, he lowered the cigarette from his mouth to add fuel to the fire, but decided against it.
Continuing to prepare your unromantic meal, your heart pounded furiously and the repetitive thump of blood coursing through your body blurred any other sound from your ear. “I wasn’t interested anyway, angel. She was all over me like a rash.” The chiselled man continued to coax vexation from you. Who the fuck does he think he is? Coming into your house and telling you about- “Fuck!” You bellowed. Your frantic chopping had gone rather wrong— the pure spiteful mess of Rupert’s words had riled you so heavily that you had miscalculated the direction of your knife and chopped straight into your finger. Blood crept into the natural layers of the onion, and began to seep into the wooden cutting board. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” You scream again, applying pressure to your finger with the nearest tea towel, immediately soaking it. And of course, you feel your body weakening and your mind dizzying. You do NOT like blood. Springing into action, Rupert stood directly behind you, using his body as a human shield as you inevitably fell into him, just on the brink of fainting. “Are you okay, angel?” He whispered, taking control of the tea towel, squeezing it tight onto your finger and placing a gentle kiss upon your forehead. But the words he spoke sounded too heavy to make any coherence in your head and your vision grew thicker and hazier.
What felt like an eternity later, you awoke on your sofa, head propped up on a pillow and covered in thick, woollen blankets. “Rupert?” You croak, and look down at your finger. Perfectly cleaned up, and wrapped securely in bandages. The bitter smell of TCP filled your nose and made you wince. “I’ve disinfected it. I managed to save your finger, but the onions are a little worse for wear I’m afraid.” He mocked, and took a gentle seat beside you. You managed to push out a chuckle, and sat yourself up on your elbows. “You scared me, angel. Please be careful next time.” Rupert warned, waving a cautionary finger in your face. How dare he! “Are you serious, Rupert? The only reason I cut my finger in the first place is because you come in here, gloating about a woman being all over you. Shoving it into my face like I’m supposed to care…” You can feel fury coursing through your veins and attempt to speak in the most coarse tone possible, but you still feel incredibly weak and hunker back down half way through. Your usually supple porcelain skin has been drained of blood, and your limbs tremble under your weight.
“Shh, shh, angel. You need to relax.” Rupert speaks in a hushed tone — one so soft and gentle that it feels otherworldly from his lips. He caresses your mottled cheek with the back of his hand and just.. freezes. His cerulean orbs study you intensely, admiring every freckle. Every crinkle of your nose. Every misplaced hair on your head. “I didn’t come to have sex with you, you know, angel.” He murmurs, hand unmoving from your cheek. Your breath catches in your throat — too afraid to exhale. Even the sound of your breathing will be much too loud of an interruption. “Seeing you hurt like that… it was as though it hurt me too. All of a sudden, I feel this great wave of protection flow through me. I think of you constantly, you’ve infiltrated my mind. I can’t sleep. I just think of you.” Rupert blurted out, filled with unwavering confidence and an expression of adoration.
“Rupert…” You begin, but there are simply no words to say. This is what you have craved to hear all along. “I feel as though I cannot shake you. You are a part of my soul.” He whispers softly now, placing your hand on his chest to feel the rapid thumping of his heartbeat.
“He’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” - Wuthering Heights
#rivals#rivals fanfic#rivals fanfiction#rupert campbell black#rupert campbell-black#alex hassell#Rupert & taggie#Rupert and Taggie#ily rupert#my own dreadful writing
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A new ladder - Reader x Curly
Previous - Part 3 - Next
"What would you like to do today?"
You leaned against the back of the sofa to look at Curly, who was attentively watching the news.
Curly: "Is there something we can do?"
"We could do something like physical therapy... is that what it's called? So that you can use those prosthetics, wouldn't you like to be able to walk again?"
Curly: "You look enthusiastic."
"I'm bored"
You let out a sigh of pure sincerity as you lay down on the sofa, head bowed, barely four days into being with him and hardly ever leaving the house.
Curly: "We can chat."
"Seriously, don't you want to do something?"
Curly: "Of course, but... I don't want to bother you, you're already doing too much."
"You could ask me to tap dance on the table and I would do it just to laugh at something."
You raised your head and stared at him, waiting for some kind of response.
Curly: "What do you want to do?"
"Have you ever ridden a horse?"
Curly: "....No?"
Before he could realize it, you had already made the trip in your car to take him to a field outside the city.
There you had met with a friend of yours, who welcomed you warmly and guided you to an area where there were several horses.
Curly was able to see how your friend helped you get on one of the horses, you had a huge smile, and then he helped him get on with you, ending up in front of you.
Immediately, you put your hands around his waist to hold him close to you, while the horse began to gallop slowly around the meadow.
Behind him again, I could hear your little laughs, this time more relaxed, just a sound of the pleasant moment you were having.
Curly was observing his surroundings, feeling the movement of the animal. The place was beautiful, the trees, the bushes, the flowers, the sky, the clouds, for a moment he had forgotten how incredible the world was, feeling a lot of tranquility.
You spent at least half an hour riding and walking around that field, and at one point you almost fell off the horse because there was a little colt that wanted to bother the one you were riding, until its mother arrived and scolded it.
When you returned to the car, after thanking your friend for the experience, Curly felt that the day had ended and they were going back to monotony.
But he realized that the path you took was not the same one to return home.
You drove up a small hill and parked where the car wouldn't cause too much trouble.
"Do you want to climb?"
Curly: "Do you think I can-?"
He couldn't finish the sentence because you had surrounded him with your arms, forcing him to get out of the car. The prosthetics on his legs barely kept him standing, and he leaned against your body to avoid falling.
You closed the car door with your foot and waited patiently for the man to stand up.
Your arms were still around him, preventing him from falling completely. He tried to hold onto you as he straightened up, finally standing, swaying and looking at your face.
Curly: "Don't do this to me..." He sighed, lowering his head.
"Am I hurting you?"
Curly: "Emotionally"
You felt how he rested his forehead on your shoulder, standing there without moving, with your hands clasped together, forming a ring around his waist.
Curly: "I can't... I don't deserve it... All this... The surgeries... The attention... The prosthetics... I don't deserve to stand up again or take a step forward myself-"
You let go of him at that moment, causing him to fall to the ground, sitting and looking at you confused.
You crouched down to his level to closely examine his face.
"It's going to relax you to walk a bit, let's go again."
You said to him with a smile and helped him stand up again, this time putting his prosthetic arm over your shoulders and keeping your arm around his waist.
He felt strange being accompanied in that way, it made him feel so vulnerable, reminding him of the fragile condition he was in.
You didn't stop holding onto him for a second while you took short and slow steps, being as careful as possible.
It was just a few meters to reach the top where there was a beautiful meadow, but it took you several minutes to get there due to the pace you were going.
You made Curly sit among the grass and tall flowers of that place, soon you sat down beside him, reclining there immediately.
He kept looking at you, how you just lay there with a smile on your lips, your eyes closed, and breathing deeply.
Slowly, he lay down beside you, observing the sky; the clouds in that place looked different from those in the city, it seemed that by raising your hands you could touch them.
Curly: "Why did you bring me here?"
"A place so beautiful must be shared, so more can appreciate it."
Curly: "...Why are you doing this? You should just give me my medicine, you could leave me locked up at home if you wanted, and go out on your own."
"You think too much. Just relax"
You placed your hand on his chest to give him a couple of pats and then put your hands behind your head, enjoying the sun on your skin.
The warmth of the afternoon sun, which would soon set, was pleasant on his wounded skin. Despite having received a graft, his skin remained too sensitive, but those gentle rays of sunlight provided a pleasant warmth.
He decided to listen to you and relax; maybe that was what he needed.
#mouthwash#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing x reader#captain curly#curly mouthwashing#captain curly x reader#curly x reader#mouthwashing curly#A new ladder mouthwashing
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Somehow I got this idea of Chosen, left alone after the season conflict again, wandering away from the site of the final battle and then stumbling upon Victim’s abandoned farm.
Obviously by the time he finds it it’s a little run-down, because the property owner hasn’t been back in a while.
(Not that Victim had been spending much time there anyway, recently. As the lab grew, they started spending more time at their office, and their own house became more of a retreat. Though the neighbors would still lend a hand every now and then, at first.)
But when Chosen finds it, it’s been long enough that the neighborhood is pretty sure the original owner won’t be coming back.
Not that Chosen is aware of this, at first. It starts with him squatting in the barn.
He gets a good nap in, but eventually the farm animals notice there’s a person in the barn again and begin vying for his attention.
He figures out what they want, in the hopes that making them happy will get them to leave him alone, and then goes back to resting.
Rinse and repeat a few times, until Chosen realizes that the only way to get the animals off his back more permanently is to get a bit more involved and make some changes to the space.
So he starts fixing the barn up. Which leads to him fixing up the property around the barn. And he starts paying attention to what the animals’ regular needs are, instead of just their needs in the moment.
(The neighbors have become aware that Victim’s property is no longer abandoned. The new guy doesn’t seem to know what he’s doing, but he’s good to the animals and he’s trying to fix the place up so they all pretend he isn’t technically trespassing. He looks similar enough to Victim for them all to figure he’s probably family, so they figure it’s alright that he’s there if he’s gonna take care of the place. Nobody approaches him though; he seems to not want anyone to know he’s there…and, again, he looks similar to Victim.)
Eventually enough changes have been made that anyone who spent a lot of time in the area would have to know somebody was there, even if they hadn’t seen Chosen himself. So Chosen decides to check out the actual house.
I don’t think he moves in, exactly. He’s gotten used to the sheep snuggling up with him, the barn cat purring on him, the horses’ quiet solidity, the chickens’ constant quiet clucking, the cow’s lowing, the hutch rabbits’ fluttering heartbeats. But there might be a few nights when he needs quiet and solitude, so he’ll slip into the house for the evening.
But even if he isn’t completely moving in, he still starts to fix up the house. It’s something to do.
(He was wary, when the neighbors began looking his way. But aside from the occasional greeting or acknowledgement, most seem content to pretend they haven’t noticed him. He relaxes a little more.)
Eventually it becomes clear that nobody is going to dispute his occupation of the farm. His presence has been accepted in all the ways he can discern.
He begins to think that maybe, he can find contentment here.
(The neighbors have grown comfortable enough with him to call advice to him over the fence, in passing. He has clearly not quite grown comfortable with the idea of having neighbors yet, but he recognizes that help is being offered; and little Toby found his ball back on his front steps the day after he kicked it over the fence, so the guy can’t be that bad.)
So time passes, and Chosen truly begins to settle into farm life.
One day, as he’s working on the interior of the house, he hears footsteps on the porch. Nobody has ventured so far as to visit him on the farm grounds yet, but they aren’t the heavy footfalls of aggression so he cautiously opens the door.
Only to see a roughed-up Victim fumbling for their spare key.
Chosen is immediately tense. But...Victim is favoring one leg, and their hands are shaking, and breathing seems to hurt, and frankly they look like one good punch might kill them. So he waits.
Victim’s initial reaction, after freezing in place, is simply a flatly nonplussed “what are you doing here.”
“…I live here.”
“…this is MY house!”
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Also it’s really fascinating because in a certain way Austen finds the trope of redemption through romance/good girl fixes bad boy dead but in an even realer way Henry is just the wrong candidate for it. Or, to be even more accurate, the setup of Henry and Fanny is the wrong match for it and that’s what makes it funny. The truth is that Henry objectifies her, NOT physically. His appreciation of her beauty is hands down the most romantic thing he feels for her but he objectifies her morals and her goodness, in essence: her character. He, and in a different but equally real way Mary treat Fanny like a doll and every time she does something of quality they react with surprise and delight as if a doll had done it. The fact that the surprise and delight are genuine makes it worse because it’s even more objectifying. They’re like “look at the doll speak! The doll said something incisive and profound! The doll doesn’t even know of what quality she is made because she’s so simple! Noble simplicity!” And it is objectively condescending and—not to beat a dead horse here!!!— truly objectifying. They both see and sense her superiority to the rest of Mansfield but that doesn’t mean that they treat her like a person. Henry makes much of her, refuses to listen to what she actually wants, enlists Sir Thomas against her, feels no scruple whatsoever about putting pressure on her, and doesn’t know her well enough to know that she does “know her own mind” despite not knowing her own manner. He’s also the wrong candidate for this trope because he’s too knowing and observant. He KNOWS he’s in the trope. He’s kind of like “hmmm Fanny redeeming me, Fanny changing me, wow, love to consider it from a moral aesthetic point of view, what a flower in her cap that would be and how it would stick it to the rest of the Mansfield crew” and so he’s not set up to be surprised or charmed into compassion and real love 1) because he’s self-aware of the good it would do him and 2) because he gets ahead of the good by manipulating it for his own schemes. Alleviating boredom/sticking it to Mansfield and co. being the two main ones for as far as I can tell. He even knows that if he just waits, if he just holds out that “absence, time, and distance,” as he says, will speak for him. Will clear his way. Will work on Fanny’s heart. Because it IS a powerful trope for a reason! And especially if Edmund was out of the picture re: Mary what else would there be for her to do? But that’s the thing. He SEES the truth of it and sees the inevitability of it but only because he’s thinking of this in terms of winning—winning her, but also just winning at the scheme, pulling the con. True love doesn’t do that. The absence, time, and distance of which he’s speaking would be enacted by someone with a loving heart in such a different way because it would just be the simple act of compassion and not wanting to trouble the beloved that would be the motivator. It would be Darcy going back to his normal life after the Hunsford proposal with no intention of winning Lizzy back or determination to pursue her or need to clarify anything past the letter but still with love in his heart for her. Henry doesn’t have that love and never did and so cannot be changed by it. He plays the stakes of it all like a game and because Fanny isn’t playing it at all he loses, in every possible way.
#and Edmund treats her like a person always#he is a FOOL especially re: Mary and he is blind but he stood up for her. wants her happiness. protects her from Aunt Norris.#thinks about what she wants and treats her neither as an invisible purpose or a person on a pedestal#and he just loves her. took him some time to realize it was romantic but he DOES love her. always has!#mansfield park
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30 Things To Make Life Unforgettable
Appreciating life is one of the things I´ve learned this year, small things, happy moments... All of them are valuable for who we are as well as who we will become. However, we are not conscious of what we have, all the feellings we are experimenting and the opportunities we are losing for doing other things (such as being on our phones 5+ hours). I hope this list helps you making life a little bit simpler.
Walking in the rain. In my city rains a lot, so I´m not going to propose you going to the beach, since I can´t (obv you can do it), we have to adapt ourselves to what we have, and rain is one of my favourite things, I used to hate it when I was younger tho.
Spend your day in a cozy cafe. Not only can you have a coffee, but you can also read, study and be productive. The bes part is that you are experimenting new things, being productive and having fun with a hot coffe/tea.
Put your phone away. Be present babe, this is all what we have, you want to live your life, don´t you? Then start doing it, of course you are not going to live advemtures everyday, but at least you can try it. :)
Learn new things. It will never be a waste of time knowledge.
Be more passionate and intense. Who cares if you are too much? It only matters what YOU want.
Trying new recipees. I didn´t use to be a big fan of cooking, but I tried it few months ago, and let me tell you, all I do naw are bisquits for people I care.
More museums, more art gallery. I´ve always wanted to give mysterious girl vibes (I´m a yapper but introverted at the same time) you can always try reading in a museum.
"For the plot" mindset. My friends and I sometimes play saying yes to almost everything, just to see hwo things develop. It´s very fun:)
Bucketlisting. In a world of consumerism no one can scape
Trying something new. I started dancing, and I feel so energetic.
Learning to be alone. I do have a post about it :) go check it after this one.
Candle+Sweater=Coziness. Scented candles, my bff in autumn/winter.
Book annotating. It helps focusing, you can go through your notes after it and in my opinion creates more powerful bonds with the story and you.
Old classic books. Culture girls are the hottest.
Cooking your own meals. It's such a simple and sweet act of self-care. You can also try making your own Jam or something.
Doing things that you enjoyed as a child. My favorites are horse riding, swimming, baking, and bubble baths.
Buying flowers for yourself. It doesn't have to be an expensive and fancy bouquet, just some pretty flowers for your room.
Doing your nails. I like red wine ones, makes me feel like a vampire!
Taking more Photos. You can also buy a cool vintage camera (I recommend looking on eBay!) to make it more aesthetically pleasing.
Trying crochet, knitting, or sewing. I'm trying to crochet a sweater for my dog right now, haha.
Planting a plant. I tried to plant an avocado, but it didn´t grow as i expected, although i´ll keep trying it
Making plans with your friends like going on a picnic. You could plan some themed picnics like cottagecore, homemade food from your culture, strawberries, and so on; also a great opportunity to take some pictures!
Do volunteer work. Tried it last year, it was so fun to learn new skills and meeting new people while trying to make world better.
Writing a diary. Writing down things that have happened and looking back at them feels really lovely to me.
Writing letters to your friends. Letters just feel more personal than text; you can also keep them as a memory.
Dressing in a way that makes you feel happy. Wearing outfits that make you feel confident will definitely make life better.
Petting stray cats. I love cats.
Starting to collect something. You could collect something small like jewelry or postcards!
Playing music in the background while doing stuff. I can't stop listening to the lofi girl stream on youtube, haha.
Going on gloomy walks in the Forrest. Name something more comforting. I will wait.
Please feel free to add more suggestions in the comments! <3
✩‧₊*:・love ya ・:*₊‧
#aesthetic#coquette#dream girl#girl blogger#it girl#pink blog#pink pilates princess#pinterest#that girl#green juice girl#self care#self healing#self worth#self love#self esteem#note to self#self improvement#being alone#things to do#mental health#mental heath support#health#health and wellness#glow up tips#beauty tips#tips#advice#beauty#autumn
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ok depresso week is over, back to deliberate hyperfixation on bg3:
It is absolutely wild to me that people take Astarion to the foursome with the drow twins (romanced, spawn, post-cazador) and are shocked, shocked I tell you, that he has a bad time. But it leads me to think that there's an interesting conversation to be had here about morality applied to video games. I'm going to be using what's a bit of a strawman tbh, what I would consider an archetypical, "good person" gamer for this niche example.
(3k essay under the cut about irl morals vs video game behavior, my take on why Astarion agrees to the orgy, beating the dead horse of Astarion discourse now that the fandom has cooled off enough I might not get flogged for it, and all my election stress being translated into an increasingly bitchy narrative voice that I hope is at least mildly amusing.)
"Good Person Gamer" romances Astarion. They're probably female, which I am mentioning exclusively so I can turn that into "Good Girl Gamer" 😏, or G3. G3 picks nice dialogue options. G3 tries to support their companions, and finds diplomatic and moral solutions to problems. G3 saved the tieflings. G3 still romances Astarion because he's hot, and vulnerable, and it's not like he forces you to be evil - he just complains a bit when you save kittens stuck in trees, but you get that approval back anyway just by being nice to him. Talk him out of Ascension and you've proven to yourself he's got a good soul under all that attitude anyway. He'd healed! You banged on his grave! It's all good now!
The brothel is fun. The drow twins are hot. It's always fun when games lets you do spicy things like have threesomes and orgies! We're sex-positive! Look, the drow twins said they love their job! It's totally fine! G3, as most people, probably does not do these things in real life, but that's the fun in video games: you get to be someone you're not.
And then Astarion noticeably dissociates. He throws himself in the center and lavishes everyone with attention; he's a professional, you know. Even an unromanced Tav/Durge notices something's off, and Astarion replies something along the lines of "you don't have the right to look at me like that," presumably with worry, distress, or sympathy.
G3 is upset. They did everything right - they didn't want to hurt him, and Astarion himself said he wanted this. Why couldn't they stop midway through and remind him that he doesn't have to hurt himself? Why couldn't they talk about it afterwards, and clear the air? LARIAN WHY DO YOU HURT ME
Now, to all the G3's out there: if you were dating a person with extensive sexual trauma, having been raped literally thousands of times, would you suggest having a threesome/orgy? With prostitutes, if that's better or worse? Putting them on the spot before your mutual friends? Would you wait a few years to mention the idea, or would you do so only weeks/months into a relationship? Your first "I love you" might have only been yesterday.
And most people, I think, would say "No." Writing that scenario outside of the lens of a video game makes it sound insane - of course you wouldn't! I'm not saying that they should never have group sex or that it can't be done, but I think most people instinctively get how that would be a shitty thing to do in that context, especially without discussing it in depth beforehand and making sure you're both on the same page.
And this is the meat of the issue. Most gamers play good-aligned characters: there's a strong culture of wanting to play the hero and saving the day. But tied into that cultural monomyth, in society itself, is the idea that sex is a reward at the end. You get sex at the end of the romance arc. The date where you have sex is one of many milestones, and you're not really dating if you haven't done it yet. Some people don't have sex until their wedding night. Threesome scenes especially are a video game classic: old-school God of War, for instance, had a hidden room in every game with scantily-clad women just waiting for you to button-mash away, a little treat for the player's keen puzzle-solving abilities.
Not all romances in BG3 have sex or end with sex, (some even start with sex), but that is because BG3's character writing tries to ground itself in reality despite being a medium people utilize for fantasy. Role-playing a "good" character is mostly easy: you typically know which dialogue choice is the ethical choice, can chide Astarion for being racist, can save the numerous children with moral ease - and BG3 rewards this: a good playthrough is more fleshed out, because you haven't killed off half the cast. You get better gear. You have more allies, better allies. You know what to do.
Or, well, mostly. BG3 is kind of special imo because even the good choices have a lot of nuance, where two people can make different choices but still feel like they both picked the most ethical one. Take Shadowheart's parents, for example: they beg for her to let them go so they can die and save their daughter. Saving them leaves Shadowheart in Shar's clutches - she will experience pain for the rest of her life, but regains her parents, and with luck, Selûne will claim her soul when she dies. Kill them, and Shadowheart is free - truly free, to live her life on her own terms, free from Shar and Selûne both. Both can be the ethical choice, depending on your morals.
"But if Astarion didn't want to have the threesome, the game should have let me stop midway through/made it clearer that this would happen. He said no before Cazador - why couldn't he say no again? Why would Larian put me in this position and make me feel bad when I thought everything was alright? I wanted to be good and have fun, not feel like I pressured my boyfriend." - Strawman G3.
Because BG3 treats it's characters like people. Multiple companions make choices outside of what the player character decides for them - Shadowheart's decision to save or kill her parents, kill or save the Nightsong, or Gale, to go for the crown or not depend on what events they are there to witness personally, or can be informed by conversations you have in camp about unrelated issues. You can fully let them make their own decisions and be surprised each time as they develop into different people with each successive playthrough. A lot of people are surprised when Gale goes for the Crown of Karsus without their input. In my last multiplayer playthrough, we could not prevent Shadowheart from wanting to kill the Nightsong, and so we were forced to kill her.
Astarion is not like that. The way he talks about Ascension changes depending on your relationship. If you're merely friends, he acknowledges it's probably a bad idea, even, in direct contrast to the somewhat obsessive and frightening way he pursues it in a romantic relationship. But Astarion can't decide what to do at the end: he has no hidden point system, no hidden flags - he will always pursue Ascension even if he knows it's a bad idea, because Astarion does not trust himself, has no experience trusting himself, and needs help. As counter-intuitive as it may sound, he needs support to make his own decisions, because in that moment, he cannot be objective.
(If Astarion is ever objective is another story....)
So much of Astarion's reactions and opinions are instinctive and unthinking. "Don't let the pixie out of the lantern, are you an idiot?" -> "A pixie! And honest-to-goodness pixie! *giggles*"
"We don't need a urchin hanging around." -> Astarion approves if you help Yenna
etc. etc. etc. There's so many times he says one thing, the cruel thing, the "fuck everyone else, I've got mine"-thing, and then approves when you do the good thing. Astarion does not live in line with his values (besides pursuing a growing need for freedom) and he frankly does not really know what his values even are.
Astarion doesn't react with glee to finding all the people he seduced - who inadvertently raped him, though they didn't know, some lowlifes and scoundrels and people having a bad day and even some sweet, naive virgins like Sebastian, who took that smoking hot Elf on his word and followed him home, probably in disbelief someone so gorgeous would pay them any attention at all - tortured and locked in a dungeon underground. He's crushed by guilt. He's in pain. Astarion delights in you causing others pain (the torture scene) because it aligns with his worldview, the joy of seeing someone else suffer for once. But he's not a cold-hearted murderer. (And yes, I am differentiating between "adventurer kills a bandit" murder and "deliberately killing someone you know for reasons/no reason" murder.) He doesn't hurt anyone in camp - Shadowheart and Lae'zel are far more dangerous than him. You never have to stop him from drinking anyone else to death. Even if you never feed him again, never use his bite attack, he never bites anyone in camp. Despite being a vampire, Astarion is, effectively, harmless. (Bite night was about checking whether or not Cazador's old command's still worked. It's his first real attempt at freedom, proving to himself that he's free from compulsion. Hence why the roll to get him to stop is a 5, giving you a 75% likelihood of succeeding. He doesn't actually want to kill you. And you get two chances!!!)
Astarion doesn't enjoy death for the sake of death. He's terrified if you side with the goblins and kill the tieflings despite goading you into doing it. I don't doubt that he could hurt others (god knows he's got enough feelings to work out that way), but there's a significant difference between a little knife play and condemning thousands of people to be tortured in the Hells for all eternity. Sacrificing his siblings is different, because they, like him, are guilty, and deserve their deaths. He agrees to sacrifice his fellow spawn as an act of self hatred, of self harm. But all those other people stupid enough to want to sleep with him? Given a day to think about it, I think Astarion would agree that that's not right - and that's why he thanks you for preventing his Ascension. That much murder isn't him. He can be thoughtless, cruel, and unkind, but Astarion isn't a psychopath.
Take him to the brothel, and slipping back into that role, the seductive rake, it as easy as breathing. I don't think Astarion has ever thought about if he's the type of person to enjoy group sex, or even if he wants it. I don't doubt that Astarion enjoys sex, that he wants to have sex (he is, after all that, still shockingly horny), but he's just discovered the idea of having sex with someone he loves. He's riding that high. Of course he says yes: not only is he a different man now (he's free!), it's something he's done a thousand times already - maybe it'll be different this time, maybe something has changed - or maybe, an orgy was on offer, so of course Astarion is there. It's his purpose. He's been doing it for 200 years. Where else would he be?
What I'm saying is that Astarion didn't think about what sleeping with the drow twins meant for your relationship, or how he would feel about it at all. He just went for it. He had a bad time. You then don't discuss it because that would mean admitting that he finally made a choice by himself and it backfired. He didn't think, or maybe he did, and it turns out he just doesn't know himself. Why discuss it? A relationship with G3 apparently means group sex. They probably asked twice. They backtracked all the way to Wyrm's Crossing post-Cazador. Will they ask again? How many times can he say no?
In reality, in the real world, the act of asking can be the problem in and of itself. If your significant other/spouse/lover asks you to do something you don't want to do, be it a threesome, anal, opening the relationship etc, these actions have consequences. The act of asking doesn't happen in a vacuum like it does in video games: there is a cost associated with it, a gamble, and while it may pay off, it may not. Some people get worn down and agree to things they don't want to do. Sometimes you break up because the act of asking is so inherently disrespectful you can't reconcile your differing wants and needs. If you're dating someone who has experienced the gut-wrenching pain of being cheated on, you don't ask 2 months into a new relationship if you can fuck other people. This should not come as a surprise to you, to G3, to anyone. It's common sense.
BG3 giving you the opportunity for a foursome with Astarion not only to give the player their hot'n'spicy sex scene (then playfully bops you on the nose by making it a fade-to-black, you naughty little perverts, you), but also to continue its theme of treating the player like a mature adult, who is dealing with other mature adults, and who can and should live with the consequences of their own actions. Subsequent patches have watered this down, I admit, but I do believe that that was the ethos guiding their work from the beginning. BG3 wants you to interact with the characters like people. If you roll over and tell them what they want to hear, you will Ascend Astarion, and he'll enslave you in turn. If you agree with Gale on everything, he will kill himself and you - or, he'll become a god, becoming the exact sort of god he used to rail against. Agree with Karlach, and she will rather die than go back to the Hells. You get my point.
"But Larian could have let me check in on Astarion midway through. Maybe it was a mistake to ask, but they should have let me check on him and stop it all if he wanted. I was trying to trust him to make his own decisions." - Strawman G3
Ok. We add a dialogue option. "Astarion, love, are you alright? We can stop at any time if you want."
Astarion disapproves (-5)
He's not backing out. Thank you for asking, darling, but fuck off. (I don't think he'd actually say fuck off but the implicit message would be there. I can't see Astarion stopping midway through, nor appreciating you doubting him. Nothing changes.)
"But I still feel bad." - Strawman G3
And I completely understand that. It's a video game. Don't worry! Of course you should get your sex scene - it's a reward! You got their approval high enough! You have enough charisma points! In DA:O, you can also have an orgy, unlocked by giving your companions enough gifts! It's a game! You have enough points, you get the thing!!! You killed Cazador - you win! Have your cake and eat it too! Congrats, you unlocked your hot slutty vampire elf who's basically a trained courtesan, who needs you to be his moral compass, who will never leave you so long as you don't actively rape him - enjoy all the fun orgies in your future!
Your actual choice - the choice the game gives you - is to realize that taking what's essentially a human trafficking victim to a brothel is a dumb idea, but they didn't want to punish you for it.
"Well, Astarion should have said something then. He said no before, he can say no again." - Strawman G3
If you go through life pushing peoples boundaries and expect them to verbally tell you what you're doing wrong, you're gonna be friendless and have a bad time. This ties back to both Astarion having difficulty knowing and defending his own values, BG3 trying to let you make your own decisions without setting out a clear "good or bad" path on occasion, and the hope that you'd use your own morals to make decisions. G3 would never behave in this way irl, and that's where the shock comes from, the guilt from committing an action they thought was without consequence in a risk-free fantasy scenario, and then feeling unpleasantly surprised when called out.
But it's a video game, and you didn't get the little zap, the little sting of an Astarion disapproves in the corner that told you you made the wrong choice. In fact, because he doesn't disapprove, it's not actually the wrong choice!
It really was mean how the Narrator made G3 feel bad, wasn't it. They didn't mean to hurt him. Astarion doesn't mention it, so it's probably fine.
... have you talked to Halsin yet? Surely he had a good time. Right?
CONCLUSION
People think they're good and moral and will typically behave "heroically" in video games. Games support this and reward players for doing so. The "good path" is expected to be clear. However, video games are not real life no matter how much they play at immersion, and multiple games have trained players in a linear "do x, receive y" type fashion. Sex is a reward in games, and is treated that way in real life as well, so players expect the Sharess' orgy scene to be a reward, and are then shocked when Astarion/Gale/Halsin etc reveal during or afterwards that they had a bad time. This is because Larian wants you to treat BG3 like a role playing game and interact with it seriously, and isn't afraid to boop you for your actions in ways that mimic real life relationships. This ethical dissonance makes people uncomfortable especially when they play games to role-play as someone better than themselves, and are surprised when they aren't herded down predetermined "good" paths via instantaneous approval/disapproval mechanics or unlockable "ideal" dialogue.
It is absolutely possible that someday Astarion might be into meaningless group sex with prostitutes for fun and pleasure. However, that is the sort of thing you'd probably either wait for him to bring up by himself organically, or discuss in a long-term trusting relationship after he's had potentially years to process the idea of not immediately hopping into bed with someone, as well as disentangling his instinctive "beaten-in" sexually available behavior from his actual desires. People much more emotionally mature and undamaged than Astarion have destroyed their own relationships by inadvertently pushing a partner (or themselves) into various forms of group sex or other sexual acts. It's not something you do on a random Tuesday on a whim.
Or maybe it is, and I'm just chronically boring and surrounded by boring people lmao
TO THE POSTER THAT INSPIRED THIS: I'm so so sorry if you ever see this, not trying to call you out at all hence no linking, I just wanted to pick apart why I think you felt that way. The thoughts just finally bubbled over after a year+ lol
#I deliberately waited for discourse to calm down before writing any Astarion essays so be nice pls#I don’t like fighting people on the internet#delta.txt#Astarion#bg3 astarion
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~ SWTD: Still Here AU Part 25: ~
All Together:
And we're in the final 2-3 chapters. Sorry this one took so long to be published. Work has been draining as it approaches the Christmas period, but hopefully, the next chapter will be up by Sunday.
The farm was heaven for the children and the horses they watched from a safe distance. Their field was the biggest - not even Addair and Raffs could find the other side to fix the fencing - with a now frozen stream running through. The herd weren't huge fans of the number of strangers watching, and we're not interested in getting close. Muir, however, had a bright idea.
Despite his size, the horses didn't seem to notice or care about him creeping around. Maybe it was his smell? Could they tell it was Muir, despite the obvious?
In just a few days, Muir had mastered how to be quiet and not make a noise, compared to the metal echoing with each step he took back on the rig. Like a predator stalking its very lackadaisical prey with no survival instincts, he pounced when he got close, making a noise as he charged the horses, causing them to gallop away. He didn't follow and allowed the children to see them run across the field, throwing up the snow under their hooves, creating a mist.
The children were in awe, cheering as they ran.
'It never gets old,' Muir said with pride.
'Do it again!' Geroge yelled.
O'Connor watched further down, leaning against the fencing alone. Innes and Roy stood beside the children. He tapped the top fence panel and smiled at the sight. It didn't remind him of home. Like everyone else, O'Connor was a city bloke through and through. The change of pace and the scenery naturally made him happy, bringing a smile to his face, but he felt a little out of place. He turned to walk back to the house when a tendril suddenly grabbed his coat. In all fairness, it did pull him in the way he wanted to go, but O'Connor only had a second to process it. Rennick finally grabbed the old man.
In the shock, O'Connor didn't notice Mary until he was able to catch his breath, and even then, he noticed Rennick first. The giant head of a man left him dangling an inch off the floor.
'Rennick, you old -' Then, he saw her. His queen. His love. His hazel green eyes widened, and his jaw slacked. 'M-Mary?'
'There he is,' she said with a chuckle. 'Mo ghrá...' Like a child kicking his feet on a swing, O'Connor swung to get out of Rennick's grasp, reaching out for his wife like he did when he returned home from France. When he saw her waiting for him as he stepped onto the station platform. Even with a broken leg, he put his entire being into reaching her again. His manager got the hint and gently put O'Connor down before leaving the pair in their tight embrace. Just like with Trots and Simon, and Caz and Suze, reality briefly vanished around the couple.
O'Connor towered over Mary. He couldn't rest his head on her own or her shoulder, and neither could she, settling to nuzzle into his chest. Fingers ran through her soft hair before O'Connor leaned down for a kiss. Old age hadn't altered their love for each other. It's as strong as it was forty-five years ago.
'I missed you,' Mary said.
'I missed you, too,' O'Connor replied. He took a deep breath and let out a sigh as they embraced again. Both of their grips tightened, trying to keep the warmth they've not felt in months. He squeezed Mary. She began to sway. He followed, and together, they broke into a small dance, going around in a continuous circle. 'I'm done with rigs.'
'Thank fuck for that.'
'Mary-' O'Connor tried to hold back a laugh. 'So unladylike.'
'Oh, shush you, and tell me what happened.'
Caz and Suze passed the couple and approached Roy with a tap on the shoulder. He turned and instantly noticed Maidie with her head still buried in Caz's shoulder. 'Is she alright?'
'Yeah,' Caz said. 'But, a hot chocolate would help.'
Roy smiled and held his arms out for Maidie. Caz went to lift her from his shoulder but quickly noticed how heavy she was. Didn't take long for them to realise she'd cried herself to sleep. Poor thing. 'Well, maybe when she wakes up.'
'You didn't notice her missing?' Suze asked. She wasn't mad, but how can anyone miss Maidie walking off by herself? Even if it was dusk.
'She said she was going to the toilet. Didn't think anything of it,' Roy admitted. 'I'm sorry, pet-'
'No, it's fine.' But, it clearly wasn't. The thoughts were still lingering, and it projected into her voice. A mix of tiredness and just being plane fed up, despite how happy she was to see Caz and his barnpot of a best friend again. Nothing was easy anymore, and she missed that. But Roy wasn't as big of a barnpot as Suze thought. He quickly put two and two together.
'How much did she hear?'
'Enough,' Caz answered. 'But, we'll sort it.' His eyes moved past Roy and to Cait, who was stroking one of the horse's muzzle whilst Jack awkwardly tried to balance himself, with Innes ready to catch him if he fell. 'Is everyone getting ready?'
'For what?' Suze asked.
'Raffs and Brodie are heading back to Skye first thing tomorrow morning. We wanted to give them an early New Years celebration.'
On the other side of the cattleguard, Irene and Jennifer pulled the outdoor chairs from the garage, forming a circle around Gibbo, who was setting up the firepit. Addair, Raffs, and Brodie ventured into the Highlands for wood. Simon, with permission from Muir, went into the attic to find some Christmas tree lights to hang around the porch beams. Continuing his work from this morning, Trots had shovelled the snow so the chairs and firepit could have balance and was now helping Simon. By sitting down with a cup of tea and giving small comments on how the lights weren't level. They were, but Trots loved to annoy Simon with small things. Simon responded by throwing snow into his drink. Everyone's spirits were high, whether they knew Raffs and Brodie or not. All that was needed was Roy's famous chicken casserole.
What everyone failed to notice was Rennick wandering off towards the barn. He silently walked through the thick snow, where traces clung to his trailing body and tendrils. That all too well-known look was in his eyes again; distant and tired, but this time, there was sorrow. They looked to the ground until the barn doors came into view, and even then, the only thing that got him to avert his eyes was a small chirp. The robin watched and hopped towards the man, who stood frozen in place. Sadly, the sight of her didn't bring Rennick any joy. The smile he gave was weak as it was fake. He reached to give her a small pet but stopped himself. She didn't fly away, though.
They say robins are the souls of loved ones. If that was the case, then who was this? Rennick didn't have an answer, and that broke his heart.
Without a word, he opened the doors and went inside.
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it’s funny how things have gone full circle with malenia. she was so hated when the game first came out, but then people grew to like her. then the dlc came out and now people hate her again lmao
#i mean it’s hardly surprising given what we now know#she did all that awful shit and wasn’t even charmed#like i see people talk about how stupid miquella is because of this plan to essentially trap radahn#but that also makes malenia look stupid af too#‘go to caelid and kill radahn so i can marry him’ ans she was like sure#miquella wanted the one guy in the lands between who loves war and fighting to be his consort for his age of peace and compassion…#what a genius he is.#makes me wonder why he even needs some heavy weight to keep order for him when he can just charm people into submission#was radahn just there as a ceremonial position?#oh wait i forgot miquella thinks he’s super kind so that’s why he wants him#miq learnt about the gravity magic horse thing and swooned#honestly still can’t get over how incredibly stupid the twins look after the dlc#i think people like to imagine malenia was charmed just because it makes it all look slightly better on her part#like they are just making excuses for her#but holy shit the fact she was all but willing to fucking die so miquella could bag radahn..#what a thing to die for lmao#and he was apparently present after the battle? but didn’t do anything to help either radahn nor malenia?#instead he was helping a random redmane?#he obviously knew malenia had bloomed but ultimately didn’t care i guess#kind of like ‘oh well if she’s still alive when I get back i’ll deal with it then’#honestly wish miquella had just died in that cocoon at this point#tbh he doesn’t really do much in the dlc anyway they could have made it more about messmer and marika#hell bring melina into it please that would have been more interesting at this point#we didn’t need the dubcon incest plot micheal you could have left that one in the drafts#i gotta get this out of my head it’s driving me nuts#seriously need to move on from this game for my own sanity
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[Id. Hijikata in his salarymen au persona. He looks very tired and has mayo hairpins on his hair; he is fidgeting with a pencil and has some nicotine patches on his chest and arm. Some messages from Kintoki on his right read "wait, the pdf looks blurry... (...) I attach the branding (it's just a logo)" End Id.]
Venting again.
#gintama#gintama fanart#my art#salary men au#office worker au#not gonna lie you i had this one as a reaction to the website photo series but... my bosses all 3 are FUCKING IDIOTS#i mean i can't tell you why the pdf looks blurry 'cause it looks okay on my horse and you're like 4245 km from me#oh wait you're sharing your screen okay#and then hey boss number 3 do we have branding for this and (fucking idiot) boss' number 3 assistant 'here are the logos' FOR FUCKS SAKE#I CAN'T DO SHIT ONLY WITH THE FUCKING LOGOS YOU FUCKING BASTARD#also 'what're you doing?' THE SAME NEVERENDING SHIT YOU ASKED ME YESTERDAY#my graphic designer's lament#^^^^ this choice makes a lot of sense sometimes#please look at his hairpins i so stupid happy with his hair pins i want mayo hairpins
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horse patch update! they have toes again
#fallout#kal talks#kal does an art#fallout fauna#fallout horses#fnv#i did this instead of doing my homework#i spent like an hour doing that landscape#all i wanted to do was a horse and then i was like wait i should put it in an environment#< they are a clown#yes i DID see that horse pic and want to go do my own horse#i drew that shit from memory god im so fucking good#if youre asking yourself hey why is your art style so inconsistent lately the answer is [train horn]
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i feel like i’ve been WAITING for the other shoe to drop wrt people’s opinions about watcher for this very reason. not that i think the reaction is completely not understandable but the greater the parasocial relationship, the greater the fallout as soon as public opinion shifts. you don’t have a relationship with these people they’re just content creators, chill
#ready to see all the people coming out of the woodwork to say how they’ve never liked watcher/unsolved/etc#and act like it’s ‘cringe’ now that their fanbase feels ‘betrayed’#it’s great to have a fanbase but parasocial relationships will bite you in the ass every single time#it’s interesting too though because i’ve seen watcher have a LOT of support as they’ve tried to build something separate from buzzfeed#so this is the first time they’re getting real pushback about a decision they’ve made wrt shifting their platform/expanding their brand#so ig we’ll have to see how they react moving forward#but it’s soooo interesting to see how enthusiastically people dump on buzzfeed#AND how many people dump on youtube and how over the years so much of its functionality has been stripped away#how many ads you have to sit through. how much sponsored content there is now. etc#but when they try to do the same thing with youtube that they did with buzzfeed it’s like how dare you not lick their boots#because if you lick their boots and we lick their boots we can watch stuff for free#anyway.#even if you don’t any to say it’s a bad business decision. it’s not like there’s not precedent for it#1) the move away from buzzfeed was successful and 2) what about the dnd shows or whatever#don’t you guys watch those dnd shows that are ‘behind a paywall’#don’t you guys have netflix hulu disney hbo amazon etc ad nauseum that are actually owned by billion dollar corporations#don’t you guys get on your high horses about supporting independent artists all the time#it’s interesting that people will profess to be such big fans!!! and feel like they’re friends!!!!#but how dare they think their work might be worth paying for#idk. idk. it’s entitlement though#sorry for the rant i’m ALSO not trying to blindly defend a bunch of people i don’t know#but you guys are being soooo fucking annoying about it lol#anyway i’m still waiting to see what their response is going to be from here before jumping to conclusions#also to be fair i am biased to be lenient about decisions made by independent filmmakers vs big studios etc#like everybody freaking out about the ai art used in late night with the devil. who cares honestly#‘they should’ve paid a real artist!!’ idk maybe their budget didn’t cover that#i don’t want it to become the industry norm but at the end of the day i would rather see indie shit getting made then only seeing#the big studios (who don’t have equitable practices anyway!!) making shit#but that’s another conversation. just to be transparent about my viewpoint on this kind of thing#maybe controversial but also can’t we have nuance. for once.
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#things don't really usually get to me like this so idk what is it this time#but all this fucking les-tappen disk horse going around is so tiring#now ppl talking about what kind of characterizations and tropes are okay and accurate and whatnot#and i agree on some points! certain things annoy me too!#but this talk especially coming from ppl who don't write themselves is bothering me a bit#who have never sat at their keyboard at 1am in love with the story they're crafting barely able to wait to post and see ppl's reactions#i'm suddenly full of doubt like what if what i'm writing is horseshit why bother sharing it#and i know my stories will have their readers and i shouldn't have doubts if ppl don't like them they can just click away i've accepted thi#but i really do but i think this sort of talk is not very encouraging to writers in general no matter what tropes they write#just having a moment here i will continue to write and maybe publish something again some day i'm just frustrated rn#biannual bitching session over#i didn't even say half i wanted to say#maybe i will continue bitching later who knows#talking
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🛡⚔️🏰🐎
#long tag rant: open at yr own risk#turns out that a chivalric nature is not a function of vows of celibacy but rather the inverse;#vows of celibacy are a function of a chivalric nature#the noblest thing I could do for my beloved is never tell them or court them or wed them#thus saving them from having my mother for a mother-in-law!! because WOW!!!!!#just had an argument over not my actions but apparently what she thinks my thoughts are#my thoughts??? in my private head??? surely u JEST 🃏#madam I will change my actions if they bother anyone or even my speech. but not my thoughts!!#or what u THINK my thoughts are anyway. incorrectly. jfc#& even if I did...like how am I meant to prove I did. THEY'RE THOUGHTS#'is the problem that I'm not cleaning...enough? well enough? fast enough?' 'no the problem is yr mindset' I- ????¿¿#what pray tell do u think my mindset is#do u actually want me to 'change' it or do u just want someone to yell at bc ur stressed mayhaps#'I'm taking care of everything I'm not expecting u to pick up any slack-' 'I AM AT A LOSS FOR WORDS'#(despite being at a loss for words‚ she continued to yell at me for the next 10 minutes)#rattling the bars of my dungeon HOUSING CRISIS. CRASH PLEASE. MARKET CRASH WHEN. I NEED TO GET OUT#the median property cost in my state is $1.1 million. it would be easier to slay a dragon#either I move to another country or wait until I'm 60 to start considering relationships. bc I'm not dragging anyone I love into that ☝️#the scene where Darcy tells Lizzie he's into her but her mother is too embarrassing is what I'm anticipating. btw#she is my most relatable Austen heroine 80% for that reason#I anticipate the next 72 hours sucking bc god forbid I ever have anyone over without being yelled at before AND after#this would all be so much easier if I had a sword & a horse. two very visible threats of fight & flight#vignettes de ma vie
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I think about this issue sometimes because she’s soooo quick on her feet. She’s always ready to jump into action and figure out a situation. It makes sense why people like steve rogers keep wanting her to be a leader type; she’s empathetic, she’s smart, and she’s decisive. she knows how to make those split second decisions and she’s all about putting herself in the line of fire to keep everyone else safe (see also: rogue not caring about herself and so the choice of self sacrifice is an easy one if it means saving her loved ones / innocent people)
#I’ve talked about it before and how I’m hesistant just because rogue feels like she can’t do a ‘good’ job being a leader#just because she doesn’t always want to take the high horse route or the by the book route#and she struggles with comparison to the leaders she’s had before because she doesn’t think she can measure up#and yet people still trust her wholeheartedly to lead teams / lead them#because she takes initiative she’s not scared she’s going to go out and get shit down#rogue doesn’t wait around for other people to do things for her#going off subject but like there’s so many instances where rogue gets separated from the group / taken#and she’s like well I’m not going to wait around to be saved#*done not down sorry#BUT SHE IS GOING TO FIGURE OUT A WAY#she’s been in millions of scenarios since she was a girl one of the things she definitely knows how to do is get out of trouble#also get into it but >:)#also her being empathetic is another really big part of her being a good leader#because she cares so deeply she does her best to understand all sides#she’s been on both sides she knows the things that drive people to do bad things#SORRY IM YAPPING#I like when she has the chance to lead her own team#(her picking mystique sabretooth Emma shekjsjsjs)#and she gets to do things the way she sees fit#and if it means breaking a few rules so be it#she’s the daughter of a mutant terrorist she might be reformed but there’s still some ideals#mystique wasn’t always wrong you know#stop erasing her past when she’s said it herself that all her life she’s just been fighting for one group after another#just because the xmen helped her doesn’t mean she agrees with all the takes completely#anyways#I love rogue she’s so cool and she should boss everyone around
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