#AND how many people dump on youtube and how over the years so much of its functionality has been stripped away

[devilsskettle]

i feel like i’ve been WAITING for the other shoe to drop wrt people’s opinions about watcher for this very reason. not that i think the reaction is completely not understandable but the greater the parasocial relationship, the greater the fallout as soon as public opinion shifts. you don’t have a relationship with these people they’re just content creators, chill

[brideoftheemperor]

So you've played Space Marine 2 and want to get in on the Warhammer 40k lore but Holy Shit Where Do You Begin?

My introduction to warhammer was through the now forever hiatus'd YouTube parody, "If The Emperor Had A Text To Speech Device". While not entirely comprehensive or unbiased, it presented enough of the lore to me in managable bite sized pieces that I could then move on to the next step: reading the books.

I've seen posts about people being afraid to be considered a "tourist" bc they don't even read the books and I got two things to say to this. 1) who gives a shit what others in this fandom thinks? And 2) while it's not required, I think some of you would get joy out of actually reading the books. Also I find it kinda strange when people won't engage with the media but then complain they don't know what's going on. Engage with the media!

"But Holy Bride! Where do I even begin?! There are over 50 books in the Horus Heresy alone!" Do not fear my little trembling trebbles. My first advice is 1) don't get caught up in reading order. There are too many legions and too many characters. My first warhammer reading experience was Know No Fear. Then after reading the unremembered empire/ deathfire novels I moved on to A Thousand Sons. Now? I'm reading The First Heretic. It is okay to jump around in a story that you already know how it ends.

Secondly, there are audio dramas and audio books that make reading and consuming the media a tad easier and they're very well produced! Buying them direct can get expensive so try to find other sources but I mean, if you have the money I say go for it!

I really enjoy this franchise, even if it can be doofy or annoying to me sometimes and I'm glad that more people are getting into it. But like, you do sorta need to take the steps to get into it! Warhammer is not an accessible beast by nature, which is why even 4 or so years after GamesWorkshop releases a zero tolerance policy on fan animations, I am Still pushing and recc'ing if the emperor had a tts.

Get acquainted with the lore, then pick a favorite boy or legion, and just pick up a book! They're usually pretty short and are a leisurely reading level.

Or don't! The choice is yours but remember that you only get so much information from wiki's and lore dumps and it really is better to engage with media through your own perspective rather than the perspectives of others 🌹

[muffinrecord]

Current Plans + Musings

I don't plan on playing Exedra to the degree I did for Magia Record, or playing it at all. Because of that, I won't be taking an active role in the community and archiving anything for it. Of course, if Exedra has like amazing gameplay and stories then this is all subject to change, but for now I think I'm done with phone games.

The two youtube channels will stay up and I'll check em periodically to make sure there aren't copyright strikes against the content. I've saved all my raw files, especially for the battle animations, so I can remake them in the future if the music ever becomes a problem for some reason.

Google Drive will stay up until Google rots away. I haven't recorded footage in a long time (as in stories, I do for the character doppels and such), but I'll upload things if they're sent to me.

Magia Union Translations still plans on translating things and making videos, especially leading up to the end, but also for after the game is over for whatever wasn't made in time. I'm not sure what form this will take in the future-- if it'll be manual captions added to the videos or not, but I know it WILL happen.

As for this blog, I'm not going to delete it or anything. However I'm going to be taking a step back. I'd like to say that I'll do liveblogs but I mean... *gestures at blog* I've been saying that for years and the only one I really did successfully was the Oriko one lmao. Ahhh oh well.

I'll have more words later, but it was really fun to be part of a fandom experience like this. I'm excited to work on my own original story projects though and quiet down a bit.

...

When I started this blog, I never expected it to have people actually read it. Or look at it. I just wanted a place to gush about how much fun I was having. I didn't even want to tag the posts with "Magia Record" at first because I was terrified people would be mean at me, haha.

But I'm glad I did. I made so many good friends through this game. I'm glad it existed. And it made me happy to have a place where people cared about what I had to say. Some folks actually got their news from here, can you imagine that? They had notifications turned on for this blog. My god.

Anyways, I'm going to be here for the next two months, and tomorrow I'll start reblogging fan projects and initiatives, plus general news. Maybe this blog will turn into a dumping site for art and fanfic reblogs, who knows. I might watch the remaining stuff and add various thoughts here and there.

Otherwise, you can find me on my main blog @malignmuffin, which only reblogs stuff (I don't talk much if at all there). I have another tumblr blog for my comic, but I think I'll reshare the name once I actually have content you can look at on it. It's pretty bare bones for the moment.

Actually it'll be funny if the end of this game is what makes me finally work on it again. I was in the process of working on it when NA came out, and it totally derailed me. Stopped writing, drawing, just focused on this silly little phone game. Now it's like those five years have gone by and I'm going back to where I started, except I think my lil comic is going to be a bit better than it was before. If I actually make it, that is.

If I ever do actually make my comic and start posting it, I'll be sure to update y'all here. hah

Anyways, thanks for being on this wild ride with me. The memories have been great, and I'm glad I had this experience, even if it had to end.

[niconebula]

I’m currently writing a college essay on the representation of Witches (and all Magical Girls) in Madoka Magica; I don’t know if I will be able to include this within the limits of the project so I wanted to share to Tumblr instead. It does not seem to be widely understood how much yonic imagery there is in the series and how important that is to the intended message.

For starters Kyubey is a walking uterus. The name of his species is literally Incubator (an enclosed apparatus providing a controlled environment for the care and protection of premature or unusually small babies; an apparatus used to hatch eggs or grow microorganisms under controlled conditions). He creates egg-shaped Soul Gems, and deposits the Grief Seeds back into his little receptacle. Why does he have such a weird design with two sets of ears? The lower ‘ears’ with the separated ends are actually modelled off of what Fallopian Tubes look like.

(Funny diagram but. It’s true! I’ll come back to this point at the end).

So then take this scene (thank god someone reuploaded it to YouTube):

“And you think a shit-for-brains hoe is going to be making that much in ten years? That body ain’t gonna last forever, you know.” “And then you dump ‘em, and they get all whiny!”

These two men are talking about the short term relationships they have with women, using them for their bodies and treating them like shit, and then dumping them immediately after - not understanding or caring as to how this upsets them.

It consistently baffles me how many people will completely throw out feminist readings of Madoka Magica. ‘Readings’ shouldn’t even be used - this is the main text of the goddamn show! You are free to argue that it failed at its message, or that the application was problematic, but for this scene in particular to fly over your head makes me discount opinions immediately.

Anyway, where have we heard this rhetoric before? “That body ain’t gonna last forever” - a young Magical Girl is always destined to turn into the Wicked Witch. “When you dump em’, they get all whiny!” - it is a Magical Girl at the peak of her despair who turns into a Witch, and Kyubey cannot and does not care for their human emotion.

The men cycle through their ‘hoes’ like Kyubey cycles through Magical Girls to get whatever his species supposedly needs to continue the universe.

I’m going to cut a break here for TW discussions of metaphorical rape and pregnancy involving minors, but this portion of the post is important.

Kyubey completely violates the concept of informed consent when he creates his magical girls - though he always argues that he did ask, and it’s in fact their fault (as fourteen year old girls) to not ask further questions.

Taking his form as a uterus alongside the yonic imagery of the show, it is implied that Kyubey has in some way ‘raped’ the girls. This is most evident in Sayaka’s arc; her insistence that becoming a Magical Girl has made her spoiled and that Kyousuke wouldn’t want to even kiss a girl like her.

Their transformations into witches further the idea that they have been ‘spoiled’, but also symbolize their transformation into adult women. Women who are ‘too adult’, and whose bodies are no longer attractive or useful to create babies anymore.

Goddess Madoka is even depicted as pregnant in the full Magia ending.

I feel like you could reason within all this symbolism that there’s a metaphor for specifically the coerced pregnancy and mothership of women. Something often considered the ‘ideal state’ for women and as you will see many conservatives argue, the necessary thing to continue society. In their minds, the subjugation of anyone they assign as women to these roles is necessary for society as they know it to continue for the imaginary people of the future who do not even exist yet.

Kyubey refers to the Magical Girls as cattle. He is there to help incubate and hatch the witch, and then throw the magical girl to the dust afterwards as she dies no longer useful. These girls are sacrifices to a far-off future that Kyubey promises them, he tells them that if no Magical Girls existed to hatch into Witches, humanity would not last long enough to see itself to the stars.

The incubator and his design, the soul gems and grief seeds, the pregnant madoka, the discussions about men liking their eggs a particular way by their homeroom teacher, it’s all very consistent. I’m not sure if my prospective readers have ever considered this within Madoka Magica - but try seeing it from this angle.

I didn’t find a way to work this into the post, but in addition: take the ancient myth of the wandering womb. This was the belief that so called over-emotional women were suffering from a condition where their uterus was moving in ways all across their bodies. It morphed into the more modern usage of female hysteria; hysteria coming from hystera- the Greek word for uterus. Kyubey thinks of the girls as constantly overreacting and overemotional. Hysterical.

[spenceragnewfics]

THE INTERN | Chapter One

Spencer Agnew x Younger!Intern!Reader

TW: None

Word Count: 1.9k

Description: Y/N has been a fan of Smosh since they could remember. Now about to enter their senior year of college, they get an opportunity to be an intern at the Smosh Office and their first day has arrived.

Every new job comes with stress. You never know what is going to happen. You could have awful co-workers, creepy or mean bosses, and horrible workloads pushed onto you by lazy co-workers, the list is infinite. 

The stress comes even more when it’s something that could become your first job in the real world. Internships are a major stepping stone in any college kid’s career, it’s the start of being over with college and being a person in society.

That’s all that is racing through Y/N’s head as they look at the studio in front of them. Many people would consider them lucky with their internship. You see, Y/N is a long-time fan of Smosh, a very popular YouTube channel, and was somehow able to get an internship with the company for the summer.

They didn’t know exactly where and who they would be working with, except for knowing that their main job would be helping with social media. Looking at their phone, it shows that they still have ten minutes until they should be there but the anxiety was killing them too much to be any later.

Taking a deep breath, they grip onto the bag on their shoulder and walk to the front door. Pushing the button, they wait until a voice comes over the speaker, “Hi, how can I help you?” They lean down to be face-level with the camera. “Umm, I-I-I’m Y/N L/N. I’m the new intern.” Their voice comes out nervous, hoping they didn’t get the days confused or anything. They read the email what felt like a million times to make sure they were right.

“Yes! Alright, come on in! I’ll meet you at the door.” They hear the door unlock and push it open. Walking into the cool space, the heat from the outside slowly starts to melt from them. Looking around, the office looks much cooler in person. A lot of it is familiar but some things are new or haven’t been shown in videos.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you!” A gentle voice says, pulling them from their daydream to look at the woman in front of them. The short Filipino woman standing in front of her is smiling kindly, “I’m Selina. Welcome to Smosh.” The woman sticks her hand out for Y/N to shake.

“I’m Y/N, which you already knew, and I know who you are. I’ve been a fan of the channel for a long time. That sounds creepy though, I’m so sorry.” They say while shaking her hand, thankfully the woman has a good sense of humor and is laughing. “It’s not creepy at all. I knew it would come with being in some videos. It’s always cool to meet fans. This must be like a dream for you.”

“Yeah, honestly, the whole process felt like a major dream. I can’t believe I’m here. I had my friends dump cold water on me when I got the email about me getting the internship. It was dumb but helped make sure it was real.” They confess as they play with their hands. Nerves still being the main thing Y/N is feeling.

“I can tell you're nervous. Don’t be. I promise, this place is very chill and the people are amazing. As long as you are willing to work, you’ll fit in well here.” Selina says, comforting the nervous mess that is in front of her. “Thank you, so where do I go?” They ask after taking a deep breath.

“Well, I will give you a tour, and then when we get done with that we will go to the conference room and you will meet some of the people you’ll be working with and some of the higher-ups. That does include Ian and Anthony.” Y/N perks up a little, their mood becoming more optimistic by the second because if everyone is like Selina, then this will be the best time ever.

They follow Selina as she takes them around the office. It’s very empty because it’s a shooting week so most of the office is helping with filming stuff. She got to see all the different pods and meet some of the office-focused staff like Emily, Josh, Peter, and Marcus. 

Once the tour is over, the two head back to the front so Y/N can go to the conference room. “And that over there is the conference room. That’s where we do most of our big meetings and important stuff. That concludes the tour, if you have any questions please don’t be afraid to ask.”

“Thank you so much, Selina. I will keep that in mind.” Y/N says, slightly laughing as the two walk to the conference room. “Now this is where I must leave you. I am very excited to be working with you.” She says, giving Y/N a comforting squeeze on the arm before walking away.

Turning to the door, they can see a few people in the conference room. All people They recognize. Tommy, Alé, and Zoe are the only ones in there so far. Taking a breath, they open the door with a kind smile, “Hello, I’m Y/N L/N. It’s nice to meet you.” They say as they walk in, catching the attention of the room.

“Oh, you scared me! I didn’t expect you already, it’s so nice to meet you. I’m Zoe.” Says the blonde woman, walking over to shake her hand. “Nice to meet you, as well.” They say as they walk to the table. “I’m Alé, welcome to Smosh. You impressed us with your interviews and work.” The CEO says and it makes their heart soar.

“That means a lot. Thank you.” Alé gives them a kind smile before they turn to Tommy. “Hello, it’s nice to meet you fellow social media person,” he says, a little hint of amusement in his voice. “It’s nice to meet you as well. I’m so excited to be here, honestly. This is a dream.”

“Okay, you don’t have to butt kiss anymore. You’re already in.” He jokes, making Y/N laugh. “It shouldn’t be too much longer until the rest are here. I think they’re finishing a shoot.” Alé says and Y/N sits down. They look around, not knowing where to sit. “I won’t bite, I swear,” Tommy says, patting the seat next to him.

They sit next to him and put their bag on the table. Pulling out their laptop and tablet, Y/N opens up the important stuff that holds their digital work, video ideas that her advisor said could come in handy, and some examples of videos she’s worked on for her classes.

A few minutes pass with the groups sharing small talk until the door opens. Looking over, Y/N feels nervous all over again as Ian and Anthony walk into the room with Erin D. walking in behind them. “So sorry, we’re late. The rest are coming in soon.” Anthony says before turning to Y/N.

Their eyes widen when he looks at them, not believing this is real again. “Well hello there, you must be Y/N. I’m Anthony.” He says, walking over with his hand stretched out. “I know, I’ve been a fan for a while. Thank you again for this, it’s a dream come true.” They say as they shake his hand. Ian chuckles while walking over, “We’re glad to have someone so talented on our team. Your work is amazing.” He says, shaking their hand as well.

“That means a lot. Y’all’s videos got me through years and years of homework and projects.” They say, laughing a bit. “Well, we’re glad to have helped,” Anthony says as the door opens again.

This time Shayne and Courtney walk in and behind them is someone who makes her heart race for a different reason. Her breath halts when Spencer walks into the room, dressed in a jean jacket, button-down, rolled jeans, and boots. His curly hair was held back by a cap on his head. 

The three sit down together, across from Y/N and Tommy. “Okay, everyone is here. Thank you all for coming. Today we are welcoming a new addition to our office for the summer. Y/N L/N is coming to us from across the country and is currently in their senior year of college. Welcome, Y/N.” Alé says and the room claps.

Tommy motions for them to stand up, “Uh, hi. I didn’t expect to say anything but I’m Y/N, if that’s not obvious. I’m a social media management and multi-media production major. I’m a little nervous being so far from home but excited to be here for the summer.” They say, a shy smile on their face as they look around the room.

Their eyes stop on Spencer who is looking at them with a soft expression. The kind he has when he’s listening to people, the same one they’ve seen in many videos. “It’s very exciting to meet you, Y/N. Welcome to the team.” Courtney says, a kind smile on their face.

“Yeah, I’m excited to see what you can bring to the games channel,” Spencer says, keeping his eyes on them as they sit down. “Yes, thank you for bringing that up Spencer. Y/N, we have looked at the stuff you’ve done and from what you’ve told us plus input from your recommendations. You’ll be mainly helping with the gaming channel.” Alé says.

“Really? That’s so cool.” Y/N says, a smile bright on their face. “Yeah, so you will work with Tommy and me mostly to get things done,” Spencer says and they nod. “Okay, I think that’s all we have. This was just a meeting for you to get to know a few people, mostly the ones you will be working under.” Zoe says.

“Okay, sounds great.” Y/N says, an optimistic smile bright on their face. Everyone stands up, those who already met Y/N leave while Shayne, Courtney, and Spencer stay behind.

“So, Y/N, what have you done at college besides your degree stuff?” Courtney asks, wanting to get to know the newbie more. “Well, I am a part of my school’s esports team. We’re still kind of new but have done pretty well. I also was on the university paper but I stopped so I could do my internship.” They explain.

“That sounds super cool, you must be a good gamer to get on an esports team.” Shayne acknowledges. “I try, it’s not something I do all the time. Mostly for fun and I kinda joined because of my ex but that’s a long story.” 

“Ah, the things we do for love.” Courtney reminisces, “I think you will fit in great here. I know Trevor will be happy to have someone close to his age.” Spencer jokes. “I’m super excited, this is honestly a dream. I’m not even sure I’m awake right now.” Y/N confesses.

“I think I know how we can break that. Since it’s your first day, you can sit back and watch how things go then we’ll throw you into the deep end tomorrow.” Spencer says, his eyes never leaving Y/N. “Ooo, that sounds scary. Fun, but scary. I like it.” They say, perking up and putting their bag on their shoulder.

Courtney laughs as they wrap their arm around them, “You are gonna be perfect here.” They say as they all walk out of the conference room.

[space-spaghetti-s-universe]

Why Pokemon Legends: Z-A Should Not put any focus on AZ:

I don't know if this is an unpopular opinion but with the Pokemon Legends: Z-A announcement and all the discussion about it. for some reason so many of you can only talk about AZ. and honestly i hope we get nothing about him.

i hope he doesn't appear at all, if hes mentioned its about the history of Kalos and he never interacts with the player.

AZ's story is over, we got his backstory, his lasting effects on Kalos, and reunited him with Floette. there is nothing left to his story arc. his major role was being the explanation for how Team Flare got a super weapon. that's it. AZ has so much presence in the fandom even though he appears like 3 times in game and thats enough. hes not a major player in the game! he's a sad dishevelled man, cursed because he did genocide cuz he thought it would somehow get him his floette back. and by the end of the game he's repented, his superweapon is destroyed for good this time, and he reunites with Floette.

please note how broken up this man is that he finally reunited with his beloved pokemon.

AZ is only ever brought up when people want to discuss their wild fan theories or to salivate of "The Lore" as if AZ's actually done anything that wasnt dealt with in X&Y. Did his super weapon make the Area Zero crater? no because the Area Zero crater in 6 million years old -did you not go to the history class? What was AZ doing for 3 thousand years? after he got imortality he mostly moped and wandered cuz mass genocide didnt get him his Floette back. what happend to Kalos in that time? Kalos moved on? most of this "Lore" is either obvious, addressed in universe or absolutly not game changing! In my opinion: any poketuber talking about how AZ should info dump about what he did during his 3000 year mope are idiots who want a history textbook more than they actually want a pokemon game. and their reading comprehension sucks.

this is a bit of a tangent but i gotta get this off my chest: some of this focus on AZ is because some fans only want the opportunity to catch his unique floette. because you people are weird and must have everything for yourselves, i guess. I find it strange and bizzare that so many people are desperate to take this man's partner pokemon at all. like why? cuz its a unique floette? i don't really get it. I've seen so many pokemon youtubers who are desperate to talk about how they hope PL:Z-A will let them catch Floette and im sorry but do you(these poketubers) not understand pokemon? pokemon is about bonds and friendship and you want to break this one up because he has a special pokemon? have you people been watching and playing the same Pokemon i have!?

... anyway.

moving on, PL:Z-A is going to be focused on Lumiose City, on either its construction or some other aspect of it. AZ should not be involved at all, first its cuz AZ is still in his moping phase pre X&Y and will be until the events of X&Y. secondly because Lumiose is a modern city and AZ only affected changes during his reign as king, yanno 3000+ years ago? and thirdly, its called pokemon legends: Z-A. not ZA like some people keep reporting, the hyphen is important.

its not just AZ backwards, its an acronym Z-A. whether Z-A stands for Zygarde is up in the air, i mean the font choice points in that direction but who knows. either way i dont think PL:Z-A is gonna be about AZ at all and why would it Lumiose is about looking to the future and the trailer highlights this, why would they spend time looking to the ancient past in the game that in all likelyhood is gonna be about innovating and advancing into the future! and AZ is characterized by clinging to the past and not moving on!

In conclusion, I hope AZ doesnt appear in Pokemon Legends: Z-A, his story was complete in X&Y and theirs nothing to expand on that would be actually interesting to the majority of players.

[gascon-en-exil]

AO3 Wrapped (Writers' Edition)

Found a list for this here, and following in the vein of a mutual on another platform I thought I'd go ahead and answer all the ones that I can to commemorate my first year as an actual fic author.

1. How many words have you written this year?

209,263...on AO3, anyway. I'm not counting my blog or YouTube scripts for any of this.

2. How many works did you publish this year?

6

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

Hard to pick. What Burns Between Us kicked everything off and has been the blueprint for all the stories that have followed, but I think I might actually like To Make as Much of Vices as Virtues a bit more. I somehow wrangled an even longer fic laden with flashbacks and relatively dark content out of two NPCs who don't even have official art. Also, because of this fic I can say that I've written the only Papp/Roque smut currently on AO3.

4. What work of yours has the most hits?

What Burns Between Us

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

To Make as Much of Vices as Virtues, because it's as mentioned such a tiny pairing. A lot of those comments came from just two people, but still.

6. Favorite title you used

Children Believe What We Tell Them is such an ironic twist on a classic film line (in translation, anyway). Given the subject matter of that fic I was tempted to go for a more familiar reference to Disney's Beauty and the Beast, but Cocteau worked a lot better for me in the end.

7. If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most?

I don't, but I do pull titles and original/incidental character names from literary sources: Wilde, Whitman, Chopin, Faulkner, and even Freud among others.

8. Pairing you wrote the most for this year?

Osvald/Partitio, a.k.a. the first of the many ships I've had that managed to inspire me to write fic. I'm still not entirely sure how that happened.

9. Favorite pairing you wrote for this year?

It's either them or Papp/Roque, and while I had to fill in more substantial gaps in canon to flesh out the old man yaoi I do think I'm going to have to say Osvitio again for this one.

10. What work was the quickest to write?

Through the Long Moonlit Night, which I rushed out in roughly ten days to get it done in time for Halloween. That was on me for getting inspired to write a monster fic with less than two weeks to go for it to be timely.

11. What work took you the longest to write?

To Make as Much of Vices as Virtues was around three months total, and it also took more initial planning compared to What Burns Between Us which largely follows the motions of canon.

12. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

Oof, I don't even want to think about it. Eight or ten, at least...including a couple of non-Octopath ideas.

13. What’s your longest work of the year?

To Make as Much of Vices as Virtues, at over 77K words.

14. What’s your shortest work of the year?

Polymorphous Perversity, at just over 6K and my first actual oneshot.

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

I do have both a short Papp/Roque piece as well as my first stab at Temenos/Crick (with Osvitio) in the works that I may or may not finish before the end of the year. The big one in the planning stages currently though involves Osvald trading places with himself in a different universe to explore weird new facets of his character...and also to make Partitio cry some more, because that's what I do.

16. What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag?

Alternate Universe, unsurprisingly. My first fic establishes a partial AU running alongside but still distinct from canon Octopath Traveler II, and all the rest follow it in one way or another.

17. Your favorite character to write this year?

Roque Brilliante, because he's such a humorously terrible person and yet isn't hard to wring pathos out of either because at the end of the day he's a sad old queen who got dumped on so much he decided not to have any morals. He absolutely doesn't deserve the happy ending that the game gives him, and I've kept it that way by never writing a proper redemption arc either...but he has a husband and son who love him in spite of his many, many flaws so he gets that ending anyway.

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

Osvald Vanstein, especially for his PoV segment of Wooing That Drifting Imagery. Canon doesn't offer much in the way of post-revenge flaws for him, so coming up with some that both matched his in-game character as well as the time period while also maintaining his relentlessly analytical voice was quite the challenge. I've gotten feedback on how off-putting Osvald's "benevolent" sexism comes across that I have ideas for how to tease at in future fics, so that's good. Additionally, I've received two comments calling my Osvald autistic/autistic-coded which...I guess? That definitely wasn't my intention or even anything I was thinking about. Canon Osvald is coldly rational to a fault and struggles with expressing himself even when he's saving the day with magic laser beams made of the Power of Love, so I just ran with that. (Him having a colossal dick on the other hand is purely for the comedic value.)

19. What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

I've already mentioned that I want to try out Temenos/Crick for at least one fic. Hikari/Agnea may show up in some of my projects as a background element too. Aside from that, more of the same - although I've always thinking of strange new ways to explore those ships.

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

I reread my fics a lot, but proportional to their length I think I've looked back on Wooing That Drifting Imagery the most. It takes a lot of risks on the conceptual level: Partitio in full drag getting some kind of partial gender euphoria, Osvald's PoV, the kinky sex scene that goes sour, the prominence of my OCs.

21. How many kudos in total did you get this year?

148

22. Which work has the most comments?

What Burns Between Us, both in quantity and in number of unique commenters.

23-25.

All regarding collaborations and gifts, N/A

26. What’s your most common category?

Does this mean fandom category? Octopath Traveler II is currently my only category then. That may or may not change next year...although if I do get pestered into writing Fire Emblem fic it's probably not going to be exactly what anyone expects.

27. What do you listen to while writing?

Nothing specific; I'm not a very musically-oriented person. That's the main reason I don't do the whole Spotify Wrapped thing.

28. Favorite work you wrote this year?

Probably Wooing That Drifting Imagery, because of the risk-taking and all the New Orleans references I got to slip in.

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

Hard to pick. Possibly the ending of Chapter 5 of Wooing That Drifting Imagery:

Stepping forward, Partitio places his arms around Osvald’s neck and leans gingerly against the man’s shoulder, careful not to smudge the powder on his face. “What are you doing?” His hands are on Partitio’s waist, but he seems unsure. “Only…seein’ what it feels like to hug my husband.” Above him, Osvald’s breath catches. He wonders if they’re feeling the same thing. Partitio closes his eyes and inhales deeply. There are memories of sweat and dirt and darkness and the shame of need, of clinging to a muzzled prisoner with fire in his eyes and heart for protection from the unrelenting elements and the cruelty of man. Those memories are set aside – not wholly out of sight, but off in a corner. In their place emerges not one of Shrevelin’s fabrications, but something else both new and strangely familiar. There’s Osvald and his solid, gentlemanly warmth, and the faint fragrance of springtime that enfolds them, and the layers of fabric that separate them solely as a matter of modesty and not of the scorn of the world. Perhaps, when it’s only the two of them in this moment – which will fade like sunlight vanishing behind the trees into dusk, but linger still in the mind – he can be she. Osvald is her husband. She is his wife. “I’m ready.” Osvald takes up his hat and his cane, and offers his arm. Together, they stroll into the New Delsta sunset.

I liked writing this subtle transition where Partitio "sets aside" the memories of the start of his relationship with Osvald, internalizes the Mrs. Vanstein role to match how he's currently dressed as a society wife, and starts using feminine pronouns for himself...even if it's dropped several sentences into the next chapter out of anxiety over being in public. This is also the first time that Partitio refers to Osvald as his husband, when both of them had rejected marital labels for each other in the previous fic specifically because they're firmly stuck in the heteronormative mindset that they can't marry because Partitio isn't a woman. Well, now he sort of is.

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

That I wrote fic at all? If not that, then how well my fics have been received in this corner of an already small fandom. I love getting to read comments and bookmark notes and so forth saying how much people like my writing even though I'm still technically an amateur.

[buckybarnesss]

Adding to the episodes of bad Mako social media takes, here one from the "offical" youtube channel. They did a 'who's on the naughty list' poll and the choices were Zaheer, The Earth Queen, and of frickin course Mako (and Tahno for some reason).

That actually made me a little angry. I really hate how their channels go to appeals to the worst parts of the fandom.

Sorry to dump here, but I needed to vent this out.

hey no problem.

the fandom's hatred towards mako has always been objectively odd to me.

like there isn't anything wrong with disliking a character and i know a lot of people find mako boring.

couldn't be me but whatever.

what bothers me is that the purposeful, willful misunderstanding of a character where it's twisted to justify character bashing. it often comes across as "hey this character isn't expressing their trauma the way i want them to so they suck."

mako is repressed.

part of the love triangle problem is that mako doesn't know what he wants. mako's emotional needs became superfluous when his parents died. they no longer mattered in the face of survival for himself and bolin. when confronted with something outside of this he completely flounders because he's not only never examined what his wants even are and has disregarded them so much he has no idea that obtaining something he wants for himself is like, you know, allowed. also, tu clocked his ass by saying that him wanting to people please ended up pleasing no one including him.

is mako the mom from reba mcentire's is there life out there? yes. yes he is.

i have seen sooooo many bad takes on legend of korra characters. from korra herself to a child character like meelo. mako is not the only victim but he is the most visable i think outside of korra.

i've also expressed sooooo many times that i loathe what i consider a bad stale joke that is frequently regurgitated that mako somehow "turned" asami and korra gay makes me want to brain myself. i expect that shit from reddit and youtube but when i see it on tumblr it's disappointing because it's usually people who claim to want representation yet they disregard korra and asmai's bisexuality to make mako the butt of a shitty joke.

also asami and korra didn't get together until three full ass years after either of them were involved with mako.

all three of them get over their cringe love triangle too and become even better friends by the end. none of them hold onto any resentment. mere weeks after korra and mako's break up korra and asami are laughing about their mistakes and korra wants mako to come with her to find airbenders. there weren't any hard feelings.

people will bend over backwards to justify kuvira and rationalize amon or defend zaheer when mako's worse crime is being a dumbass teenager who made mistakes but more than apologized and made up for them.

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Any thoughts you’d like to share on the other origins characters? Anything you like about them :)

Again, haven't played the game so these are my general thoughts based on a few romance compilations, YouTube Shorts, and memes. If anybody would like to rectify this, please Venmo me $500 so I can buy a PS5.

Shadowheart

Admittedly don't know that much about her other than the emos love her and she follows a goddess of loss. Looks like her arc is all about questioning institutions and her god, which I think is very sexy of her. If anybody has a quest line compilation video to recommend so I can see her whole story, please send it my way.

Lae'zel

The other origin character I admittedly don't know that much about. Still love an arc about questioning the system she was raised in and her god. Again, very sexy of her. Fish out of water stories are some of my favorites. Pair that with a hardened character learning to enjoy the gentler things in the world, and you've got yourself a banger. I should really look up her quest line at some point to get a full view of it.

Karlach

Best girl. Strong muscles, soft heart. I want her to be my best friend IRL. She deserves better and if there is any way to get a better ending that allows her to stay in Faerun, the studio needs to get on that ASAP. In the meantime, I'm going to stay in the part of the internet that says she's fine don't worry about it. I'm hugging her and there is nothing you can do about it.

Wyll

Sweet boy. A perfect boy who did nothing wrong ever. Yeah, yeah, sold his soul to a devil, but he had a good reason. Plus, he was seventeen. Nobody should let a seventeen year old make any decisions ever. I do need to find a good romance compilation. He needs more love. His friendship with Karlach is everything to me.

Gale

People really need to stop complaining about this man. I see too many being ragging on about how he's not over his ex and keeps bringing her up. "With you I forget my goddess?" That isn't him saying with you he forgets his ex, he's saying with you he forgets his god. How are we all not collectively swooning? And he's a nerd who will info dump about his passions? Sign me the fuck up. His comfy pjs and burnt out gifted kid swagger has bewitched me body and soul.

Astarion

Guys, you've seen my blog. I'm obsessed with him.

The moment I saw this asshole pop up on my dash, I knew I was going to love him. He was the reason I decided to finally look up a romance compilation once I realized my computer was too old to let me run the game. He's my type to the point of parody. Literally anybody who knows me, knows this guy would end up being my favorite.

His arc is about bodily autonomy and trauma. He's allowed to not be the perfect victim. He's angry and violent. He's selfish and terrified. And he is, sadly, one of the few characters who, as part of his arc, realizes he can say no to sex and he can be loved without it.

My point is, it should be no surprise to anybody that the ace community loves this man, and anybody complaining about it should shut up.

If you want to write your sexy Astarion fanfic, there is nothing stopping you. More power to you. I've seen the graveyard scene too. I recognize that regaining his autonomy and being able to have sex with somebody he cares about is part of the healing process.

At the same time, if writers want to interpret his arc is him realizing he never wants to have sex again, and that being okay; let them. We need this. There are so few characters like him out there.

At some point I do want to write an hour long video essay about his arc and how it's resonated with the ace community specifically.

Anyway, those are my general thoughts. I feel like I just swung a bat at a hornet's nest with that last bit, but what's life without a little danger?

[kinniie00]

HEY BUDDY :D !!! lion, maine coon, american shorthair, tiger, cougar, and fishing cat !!

HIIII!!! 👾

This is so many omg

Lion - I'm probably most proud of how far I've come over the last few years, I went through a lot and am still learning to live with some of it. It's definitely shaped a bit of who I am now, but I'd like to think I have grown from it and carried it with me rather than living in that dump forever :) AND MY FRIENDS IM SO SO SO PROUD OF THEM AND HOW MUCH THEY'VE DONE AND I WISH THE BEST FOR ALL OF YOU :((

Maine Coon - Honestly I'm not too sure how others would describe me, or even how to encapsulate my personality into one word--I'd like to say I'm energetic but I also have my moments of not being as much, I'm nice but I know I can be a bitch, I'm a lot of things but I'm really unsure of what word could describe me, plus I don't remember any good descriptive words rn :') (I'm so tired)

American Shorthair - I have many things that comfort me, id say my friends are my biggest comfort, as cheesy as it is. My friends remind me I'm not alone and have reasons to keep going, even when it feels impossible. I also often tend to latch onto games and streamers/YouTubers for comfort (a big one is hermitcraft!! :D), many of the people I watch now are people who practically raised me and I love them dearly. Another few smaller things that I find help comfort me are things like music, tea, or small things like animals (my cat!!!) or stuffed animals :3

Tiger - Another one that I'm not entirely sure how to answer :( "Being cute and being mine" -☀️ I think I went through the 5 stages of grief trying to come up with something that's all you're getting, oh yeah and my worst is probably the fact that I'm indecisive or like impulsive idk

Cougar - Hehehe fandoms 😇 Definitely undertale, fnaf, and sanders sides in the later years. I was (unfortunately) an aphmau kid back in 2015 but that was more watching her content and less fandom stuff. The undertale and fnaf ones definitely didn't ever stop, I got really into sans aus back during covid and relied on all three of those fandoms for comfort during the quarantine too. Sanders sides definitely helped me over the years before and during covid, it was definitely a rough time in my life as I was learning new things about myself and others around me, and it helped me so much with learning how to be me and accept myself as I am. As for a fandom I'm really active in now, id say the one I'm most active in is Hermitcraft (so surprising!!! 🙀) I got super into it back in season 6 when grian joined because I watched his content before he joined, and now I watch most of the hermits, I do tend to focus on a few each season while watching the occasional stream/video from the others though! I also listen to the imp & skizz podcast, and I find it rather comforting when I'm stressed, I love the hermits so much and they've definitely helped me so much without even knowing :) (and the fandom is so silly I love everyone)

Fishing Cat - I have so many I'm definitely going to forget some, I love learning new things and it's led to many hobbies that I do and will probably get back into in the future! :) I do crochet, it's something I have been learning since I was really young but couldn't get the hang of it for the longest time because my mom had a hard time teaching me it since she's left handed, I love reading, I read all kinds of things from old novels & poetry, romance and mystery, to nonfiction and sci-fi, I enjoy reading anything as long as it can keep my interest, and I loveee getting reccomended books (even though my to-be-read list is SO long), I like small crafts like jewelry making but it hurts my hands (especially the more intricate ones like fancy necklaces, bracelets, earrings), i love gaming, its a big part of who I am seeing as I grew up doing it, and even though i dont it as much anymore I still enjoy it and love playing games with my friends!! I enjoy drawing, but it's stressful because I'm not great at it and am way too perfectionistic over it. I used to paint but I never got too good at it and never had proper supplies, it was very fun though and I'd definitely get back into it sometime down the line. I listen to a lot of music, and watch youtubers/streamers. I like to go on walks, but with some of my health issues I don't go on them as often (I definitely will do more this summer though!!) and hanging out with my friends and animals. I plan on getting into sewing and possibly cosplay sometime so that will be fun to learn! I love creative hobbies, despite how stressful they can be when they don't go how I wanted it to :) I love seeing things I'm able to make evolve and get better and I get better at doing it, and I love consuming information and seeing people be people!!

I'm so sorry this is a lot of yapping even for me 😭

[anachrosims]

I'm so tired of this "baby-proofing" of the internet and pop culture. And no, I don't consider warning for sensitive topics/words to be baby-proofing.

(Warning: Mentions of common trigger words below.)

Can't say words like death or sex or suicide-- can't say swear words-- can't post even tasteful nudity or sexual content, much less all your niche fetishistic things-- without worrying about the banhammer or being censored or having your content removed. And yet, we do need content moderation-- within reason. A balance needs to be struck between legitimately harmful content and everything else.

There is no easy answer to this. Bots do not solve the problem of weeding out things that are uploaded with ill/harmful/illegal intent and there are horror stories out there (feel free to look up what human filters go through on YouTube) of actual people gettiing rapidly burned out because of having to weed out the millions of GB of absolute shit being dumped online every hour. This is nothing to say of content that helps spread inflammatory rhetoric and misinformation but is not outright graphic--and where the line on that is drawn varies from person to person. A robot cannot make a call on all these perfectly and neither can a team of people due to the sheer volume.

The last ten years, I've seen this spread into online culture where people are increasingly unable, unequipped, unwilling (or all of the above) to address more tough/sensitive topics in a productive manner.

What it comes down to, in my opinion, is corporatization of western culture (speaking for the hemisphere I live in and am most familiar with). The "corporatization" of culture has been going on for a long, long time, it's true. But at least for a time, the internet was a "wild west", a pocket of culture and subcultures that wasn't monetized, commodified, sanitized, and whitewashed for mass marketing appeal--it's easier to reach the widest audience if your content is bland enough to be palettable to the lowest common denominator.

It's been upsetting, to say the least, to watch the rapid sandblasting of so many things I love--including, but not limited to: Video games, social media, online spaces in general.

The only way I can think to effectively fight this can be summed up in one word: Education.

Read books. Take free/cheap courses on media literacy from reputable sources. Look up effective ways to communicate with other people. Learn how to debate and present arguments and how to listen, in turn. Try to learn how to stop yourself when you're getting emotional about anything and ask yourself: Why am I upset about this? What will flying off the handle do? Am I justified in speaking out? If I'm justified, is this really the time/place to speak out? Learn how to hold your tongue--not because of other people but to protect yourself and your mental health from overextending and from bringing eyes on you when you aren't ready for those consequences. Learn to read and speak in good faith.

All of these things take consistent practice. Culture can't be changed overnight and neither can you, but how those changes start to stick is by all of us practicing and changing over time.

We don't need to put up with the sanitization of our world by people who will be dead in a few decades. Gen Z and Millennials and even Gen X have already had so much stolen from us; I don't want to see them take it all. We have to build our own world brick by brick in the crumbling remnants of the past and that vibrant and good place starts with educating ourselves and each other.

[polyamorousmisanthrope]

Organization, Self-discipline, Distractability, and a Rant

A friend of mine re-posted this tweet. I am quite certain that because of this friend’s (VERY REAL) struggles there was a feeling of being seen and validated. And that’s a valid point of view. If something comforts you in your struggles, that’s valid, no kidding. And this article might annoy you. Scroll on by. I’m not wanting to dump on what keeps you going. Times are rough enough. Seriously…

My initial reaction before logic kicked in was nearly incandescent rage. Which led to this rabbit hole as I tried to deal with it.

Why did a little meme make me so mad?

So, remember how it took me thirty years to vacuum a closet? I could have as easily said it took me thirty years to pay my bills or cook a meal or several other things.

Oh sure, I’m organized now. I’m talking “color-coded boxes when it is time to move” level of organization, ‘kay? But even though other people don’t see it, I still remember being shamed in fourth grade because of the desk cubby crammed full of books and papers, and being asked, “You’re so smart, how come you can’t–” about So. Many. Things.

I didn’t become organized by ignoring reality

I am not naturally organized. I am not naturally industrious, and I am not naturally all that productive. I’d call myself lazy, but that invites a lecture from anyone who loves me about being too hard on myself.

I did, at some point, need to accept certain realities. Not paying bills can land one in court. Disorganization can be a big problem in one’s professional life. In my own case, I also have a big problem with depression, so I cannot count day to day being on the ball and thinking clearly. (I mean, really, this rant was because of an initial reaction of NOT thinking clearly)

So, shooting for some damn Platonic Form of “Organized and Disciplined” in my case is a recipe for failure. I’m going to bet it is for you, too.

If your plan has no way to account for delays and failure points, it’s a wish, not a plan. There used to be a fashion in self-development on YouTube to have The Perfect Morning Routine. You know, get up, do twenty minutes of yoga, make yourself the perfect nutritionally-balanced breakfast, read some Improving Literature, and bike to work… that kind of thing. To tell on myself, yeah, I’m trying to get in more stretching and yeah, I use a yoga app for that. My general idea is that I’ll get up and do twenty minutes of yoga (stop laughing at me) and then do my day. I did not, in fact, get right up and do that. It’s almost ten in the morning, I’ve been up since six, and I’m here writing this incredibly detailed rant and not getting in that stretching. So I’m failing, right? Wrong.

“Imperfectly Perfect” has a lot going for it My goal for the month is to get in ten minutes of yoga a day as an average measured over a month. I’ll throw in a few minutes today at some point. Probably after I write this. While an organized person looks like they’re doing things in a strict way and in a specific order, that may not be entirely the case. Sure, you have to show up at the dentist at a specific time, or take your meds before you eat or something. But what time you do your writing or wash your dishes has a lot more wiggle room. Let it have that wiggle room and let goals that don’t need to be exact be inexact.

“Good Enough” and “Perfect” are two different things. Good enough is better than Perfect. Bed making… I’ve heard people say that bed-making is too much trouble. When I hear that, I almost always presume another choke point — bed against the wall makes making it a pain in the ass, depression makes it hard to get OUT of bed, never mind making it, things like that. But… If the only time you make your bed is when you have the energy to make it neatly enough you won’t be yelled at on Parris Island, you have absolutely confused “Perfect” and “Good Enough.”

I took that picture thirty seconds before I wrote this. I did no adjustments on the bed. It’s just how I made it this morning. I woke up this morning cranky and wanting to punch Humanity in the mouth. So, not motivated. This meets my personal definition for good enough. It’s made. I’m dressed and doing my day.

Good. Enough.

Defining Good Enough will help you. What is “Good Enough” in your life?Ignoring real issues of executive function will set you up for failure.

Are you distractable? I am. In fact, this article is a prime example of distractability for me. I haven’t written what I plan to do for the day in my Bullet Journal and haven’t done most of my Wednesday morning chores. I got ranty and just had to sit down and write this. That yoga I was going to do? That planning out the day I (usually) do? Obviously not happening right now as I ranty, ranty, rant.

But my life is set up to account for things like this. I accept and plan for the fact that stuff like this happens! I have a means to track what needs to be done that won’t let the genuinely important and urgent things fall through the cracks. Even though I am currently caught up in the glorious dopamine hit of ranting, those things that need to be done are quietly sitting in their places, waiting for my attention.

Thing is, it’s more than just a to-do list. It’s setting up your life to account for how your brain works.

That might mean storing your extra sheets under your mattress so you will immediately re-make the bed when you wash your sheets, or hanging a mask on the back of your door so you don’t forget to put then thing on before you leave your apartment. (Yeah, I know, that looked oddly specific, didn’t it?)Being organized and disciplined is a skill. Mastering skills take time.

Think of anything you know how to do — playing an instrument, cooking a meal, writing fiction, driving, whatever.You might have wanted to master it overnight. But if you actually developed the skill instead of stopping the activity, you probably put in a lot of time and effort. You probably had failures that made you wince at yourself.

Learning the skill of organization is no different.

I know that saying it took me thirty years of solid work to get organized seems like hyperbole. It’s not. It was really that difficult for me.

Which is, I know, why images like the above set me off a little. I know the intention is to make people feel better about a mutual struggle.

But it also makes me feel like in the common cultural mind, my life’s work was mostly a waste of time.

[l-boomburg]

personal lore dump time yeeeee

I don't know if anyone will ever realise just how important the DSMP was to make me the person I am today.

Youtube's always been a major interest to me, especially for Minecraft. I originally watched the Little Club (Mainly Little Lizard and Tiny Turtle), and later, Briannaplayz. Around this time, I drew my first bit of genuine fanart, for a then-smallish reptile channel called Snake Discovery. I never posted it anywhere, but I intended for it to be used as Fanmail. I still have it.

And in early 2021, I found the Dream SMP. And so, I started drawing more; not just an occasional Warrior Cat. I started drawing humans, importantly. And I drew so. Damn. Much. I have STACKS of papers of little Minecraft guys. I have art from that time hung up on my wall right now. For a long, long time, drawing was just 'something I did', and not very well. Reading was my main hobby, and even that got boring. But as I drew more and more, it became more than just 'something'- I was drawing for myself, but I could connect with other people over these little guys on my paper. And I kept drawing until I realised that drawing was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. It brought me more joy than almost anything else could've, and I may have just given up had it not been for that god-forsaken Minecraft server.

Because of this weird 'past-time' that's now taken up so much of my time, I've been able to do so many cool things. I've talked to really cool people, many of which I've looked up to since the start of 2021 (Thank you tumblr). Hell, I would've never met CG5 (really cool dude btw) had it not been for Minecraft, as silly as it seems.

And I'm still so early on in my journey. I'm only on year 3, and I've got decades to look forward to. Even if it doesn't seem like too much, I'd like to think of RJ from just 2021, and how they would react to all the stuff I've done; how my art looks like the art of the people they strived to draw like.

I don't really know what life would've been like without me finding MCYT when I did, but I highly doubt that I'd be in such a cool situation as I am right now. I wouldn't be as happy, I don't think, If I didn't find my love for art.

So for that, I thank the whole of MCYTs and their goofy ass roleplays, not just from this decade, but from my entire childhood.

[ilovetheseattlemariners]

"the worst part about being dumped is recalling the times you dumped other people, and realizing how little the person that just dumps you cares about you now"

i haven't used tumblr in so long and i was attempting to peruse the tumblr of a random youtuber i liked and while i was attempting to scroll a popup asking me to log in or sign up prohibited me from going further down this escapade and when i pressed the "sign up" button i was prompted to reset the password to an account i had completely forgotten i had made many years ago with the fake aspirations of creating some sort of roblox webcomic, which must date this account to being almost eight or nine years ago now. terrifying, especially since none of what happened then i can necessarily remember, nor will i be recollecting any of that on this blog now.

having been inundated with the urge to journal for a long time now, i feel compelled to have this here to fulfill that purpose. i guess i could talk about a lot of things here.

my most recent ex texted me for the first time in two months telling me they just tested positive for chlams and that i should go about getting tested for that too which sucks. i think a lot about that line from before sunrise where the douche guy character says some shit like "the worst part about being dumped is recalling the times you dumped other people, and realizing how little the person that just dumps you cares about you now." fucking shit man.

like there isn't a world where i would ever want to be with them again, but there is also a world where i was once a part of their life and the lives of all the people i befriended in the year i spent studying abroad in the city that i will no longer return to probably: the world in question is this one.

auden brings up in his preface to some trees that "what's real is sacred. and what's sacred is ritual. ergo, the moment something stops being repeated it is no longer real." so i guess that means the year i spent in that city i studied in is no longer real, yet it can also be surmised that my constant harkening back to those memories is evidence of their realness. i can't so much as blink without being transported to some moment in the past that only serves to perpetuate my condition. oh how i miss you. currently i try to remove myself entirely from the people i met there. self-amputation of the heart, to coin a phrase that i will almost undoubtedly look back on with chagrin.

anyways, chlams. went to the beach with my lesbian coworker the other day after telling her about that and how much it stressed me and we smoked too many darts and ate too much junkfood and kind of had one of those meandering conversations that aren't bad but just innocuous and sort of directionless. i had things to get off my chest but i don't think i unloaded it at all; i think i was still scared. the view from the beach was nice though. i wish mishima could've seen that. the way the summer sun lay across the waves in fading light the colour of autumn. the leaves appearing to wave overhead doubtfully. whenever i read a mishima depiction of a nature scene it is almost as though he lived on another planet with nature prettier than ours. now i have to fucking call around to book std clinic appts, cuz i guess getting tested for chalms is a fucking archaic ritual that requires supplicating to anachronisms.

getting a text from them is what really destroyed me, though. the contents of the text could've been fucking gibbergabber and in an instant a bottomless chasm would be made in whatever room i was in and i would be immediately hurdling down to its core. i don't know, maybe it's the thing of like "doesn't the thought of there being people out there who know all about you but you no longer talk to them and they have no presence in your life", except its me being that person for them and getting to vicariously live it out (though i also do live it out, god knows i do) is what is fucking me over so hard like this. not to boast, but i also did a really good job of wiping any sort of trace of them out of my phone; but now the absence has a bigger presence in my life than any old photo ever did.

anyways, i'm being incoherent now i know. tomorrow i go out with my gym bro for the first time since she's come back from vacation. that's exciting. another con about studying abroad in a foreign city and then leaving and never coming back is that it basically leaves you like a stray dog in a cold winter night with no support circle. it's gotten so unbearably tough and lonely at times and i've basically become hyper-attached to everyone i know and get super self-conscious about being overly-needy but i can't help it because of the crippling loneliness i've bestowed upon myself. i've been coping through this by saying that it would all get better in the fall, back when the turn of seasons was a far away and abstract concept. but now it's already august and it seems inevitable now. i mean, it is inevitable. and i don't know, the transition from chapters always fucks me over.

okay i don't know what else to say. cya

[tanadrin]

#istg I thankfully live in a different world to all the people complaining about this#don’t get me wrong I am absolutely not doubting anyone’s experiences#I’m just so utterly baffled that I don’t share them given that I very rarely use the internet to order things#I use it for research - very often or particularly niche topics#and I have not noticed a decline in quality over the last however many years at all.#I was discussing this with a friend recently who also shared my confusion about these reports#we were wondering if there was some difference between America and other countries/continents#particularly (bc relevant to us) whether there were some EU regulations preventing it from being so bad here#I know I have also seen other posts about The Kids These Days not knowing how to do searches properly#bc they grew up not having to be so careful about picking key words and using AND OR and excluding certain terms etc.#and could just type in a question as a normal sentence#(which I rarely ever do)#I have no idea how much veracity there is to that#or even how plausible it is as an explanation tbh#suppose I could try and google it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#otoh I DID notice recently when someone sent me a link to a YouTube video for information purposes#(a crime in itself)#the tags on the video became increasingly irrelevant#like it’s for a B2 language exam#so the first bunch of tags are shit like ‘b2 writing exam’#’b2 speaking exam’#’b2 TELC exam’#but then there are a few in there that are ‘b2 Bomber cost per flight hour’#’b2 stealth price’#correction they’re not actual tags but just a long list of SEO terms dumped at the end of the video description

The context for this is that I live in Germany, but do the vast majority of my internet stuff in English; and in this particular case I had a very specific question I wanted to find an answer to, about how to approach a certain physics problem involving the force on a paramagnetic body in a magnetic field. There is plenty of information on Wikipedia on electrodynamics and magnetism and such, but the technical aspects are written for a much more technical audience than me. What I needed turned out to be simple--a rough approximation using Curie's Law and the equation for dipole attraction--but I had to rely on tumblr ppl (thanks again, guys!) to point me in the right direction, and even then I couldn't find any worked examples to show me how to solve a question I had involving units.

Search results other than Wikipedia were overwhelmingly SEO bait sites that copied text from Wikipedia while messing up the formatting, or which were designed to show up in any search involving terms like "magnetism," and had only trivially simple information in them. Beyond these search results, there were only pages in which one of the search terms showed up in a vaguely related way, usually as a branding term for an unrelated product or service.

Individual sites often remain useful for queries, if you know where to go, but the second you have to rely on general search for something, you're hosed. Maybe my question really was arcane, but it doesn't seem that way to me, and I feel like this is a pattern that has held for a lot of things I have tried to search for recently, even if they're not physics topics.

I really cannot begin to express how choked with SEO slop the internet is the second you are trying to find something that is not a mass produced consumer good you wish to buy from a major retailer. I hate it so much.

There used to be a couple of things--programming questions, for instance--that were still okayish to have to dig through Google for, but now even those are often very irritating to try to find answers for. We built this cunning device that could put all of our civilization's knowledge at our fingertips, and then we turned around and made it completely fucking useless.

[dragonemeryart]

About Existentialism & Tummy Aches

(I know no one will find this blog this is just in case lol)

Existentialism & Tummy Aches is my story! It revolves around Circuit, a weird man with a TV for a head running a bizarre store with even more bizarre products. Along with him there’s Olivia (Liv) Kelly, his roommate who runs a bakery within the same building. I’d like to make a webcomic one day, but keep in mind that’ll probably never happen (it happened, it’s linked in socials) this is just a dumping ground for my OC art in reality. I do post the occasional comic strip, though! Also, I only started art last year so I’d consider myself a beginner, don’t expect much lol.

Feel free to ask any non-spoilery questions!

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PERSONAL BOUNDARIES:

Keep in mind I’m 16, please.

Don’t be a bigot.

I already know I’m cringe, no one needs to tell me lol

I don’t friend people idk irl, sorry.

And that’s pretty much it

——————————————————————————————————CHARACTER/WEBTOON BOUNDARIES:

(not even necessary since I don’t foresee anyone doing this/wanting to do any of this (especially cause my art (and story) kinda sucks rn lol) but I’ll put it here anyways so we’re absolutely clear)

Personal boundaries still stand here too, obviously. Lol

SHIPPING: Sure, why not. As long as it’s legal and unproblematic idrc lol, just don’t get into fights about it

FANART: Yeah! I’d love to see fanart (as long as it’s with credit) tag me! :D

NSFW FANART: Tbh personally I don’t really have a problem with it as long as you give credit (WITHOUT TAGGING ME, I DONT WANT TO SEE IT) and it’s of my adult characters. HOWEVER, I am still a minor myself so I’d probably advise against it, I can’t see how that wouldn’t be weird to an adult without some major creep signals. Maybe wait until I’m an adult, I’d be kinda uncomfortable because of that.

COMMENTS: Comparing them to other characters? Please don’t, unless it’s just an “oh this reminds me of x” or whatever, I do usually like that! But if I get too many “oh this reminds me of (the same character)” over and over again I might ask you don’t compare to that specific character anymore. Romantic and/or light sexual comments to my ADULT CHARACTERS (NOT ME OR ANY OR MY CHILD CHARACTERS) yeah sure I agree with you lol. Just don’t get super graphic, I am still a minor like I said, thank you. Toxicity of any sort? Instant block and your comment will be deleted. Might get a warning depending on what it is.

USING MY ART AS A PROFILE: Yeah, sure, as long as you give credit in your bio!

REPOSTING MY ART: Don’t do anything weird, don’t pass it off as your own (and make it very clear it’s not yours) and give credit (preferably a link). Then go ahead.

HEADCANONS: As long as it’s unproblematic, headcanon away!

FANFICTION: Unproblematic? Why not, go ahead.

USING MY WORK IN GENERAL: If it’s outside of something here or you’re unsure, just ask! :]

TDLR: Do whatever you want as long as you use common sense.

Have fun! :D

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SOCIALS:

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoptlH8AUvVRuk-eMYzKbDw

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dragonemery/

TikTok: @dragomemery TikTok (link isn’t working?)

Main Tumblr: @dragonemery

WEBTOON: https://www.webtoons.com/en/canvas/existentialism-tummy-aches/list?title_no=932839

CARA: https://cara.app/dragonemery

But I’m most active on tumblr & Webtoon!

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