#alien suffering
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🚀 New planet. New life. New problems. 👽 In The Conquistadors Come, Mary Elizabeth Counselman shows us what happens when humans try to “save” an alien race—with disastrous consequences. Are we helping, or are we only making things worse? 🤔 This sci-fi story had me hooked from start to finish.
#space exploration#alien encounter#colonization#first contact#conquistadors#alien planet#extraterrestrial life#human superiority#resource extraction#cultural misunderstanding#deformed aliens#vitamin deficiency#malnutrition#space mining#unintended consequences#brotherly love#human arrogance#space travelers#alien civilization#technological disparity#alien environment#ethical dilemmas#alien culture#interstellar trade#dystopia#dehumanization#exploitation#alien suffering#cultural clash#space pioneers
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oh, my clematis // cure
twitter ✦ etsy ✦ instagram
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just posting it like this bc Im way too lazy to copy it all down on here
#alnst#alien stage#alnst till#alnst ivan#ivantill#alnst mizi#im so messed up after that round#Im not going to recover im going to hrhehghhj#the violence was all ivan knew to get till’s attention im not okay#im suffering haggagg#dw guys Ill going back to posting the sillies after I rrcover#cw mentions of abuse
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Umm.... Alien stage but its human radiostatic...... 🏃💨
@chrizzisdead thanks for making the yummiest alastor ever and for watching videos with me during this 5 hour drawing marathon i lovr you
#HAHAHHAHAA GOD THIS FUCKED ME UP I ABSOLUTELY FLEW TO MY IPAD FR FR#if im suffering youre suffering with me losers#i love chris#for making this human alastor and also for existing#alien stage#i fell for the fucking tv#hazbin art#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#vox#hazbin vox#alastor#hazbin alastor#my art#radiostatic
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lowkey funniest part of rebirth is when cloud dissociates BIG time while the costa del amor girls are making their pitch
#this part was insane. i can't believe he held it together long enough to not fucking snap#he. literally tries to walk away from them like three times AND THEY KEEP BLOCKING HIM FROM LEAVING LMAOOO#the fucking costa ass elevator music playing the whole time#it's surreal#listen. listen#i have a theory about rebirth. that the devs are trying to flip the rpg protagonist thing around#so instead of the character being a blank slate that the player gets to shape however they choose#they want THE PLAYER to become cloud strife. you WILL dissociate with him so god help you.#they want you to suffer like you've got alien brain worms and mako poisoning in real life. this scene is proof.#ffvii#cloud strife#my art <3
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whatever happens, please don’t break
#god not a fucking DAY goes by where i don’t think of that one interview and this quote#does anybody have it word for word? please? i’ll pay you#literally every single time i think about how kunikida as w character was MADE for dazai. specifically to share his suffering#i actually sob into my hands because that means they were both destined for tragedy together and the long dark road they will walk#will at least not be lonely. because they have each other. they are each other’s light in the darkness.#DO YOU UNDERSTAND#bro the fact that kunikida is painfully aware of the imperfection of the world and how he still continues to fight for his ideals#paralleling dazai who finds humanity beautiful but cannot become attached bc he feels alienated from emotion#THE WAY THEY COULD HELP EACH OTHER????? SICK SICK SICK I AM SICK#i love kunikidazai sm i wish more ppl could see the potential#but some of you aren’t ready for the sheer perfection of their dynamic#also i’ve noticed that i am only capable of drawing dazai properly when it’s with kunikida what’s up with that 💀#and sorreyy i know their height difference isn’t THAT big but i didn’t realize until i was halfway into the coloring 😔💔#osamu dazai#dazai osamu#kunikida doppo#doppo kunikida#kunikidazai#knkdz#kunizai#lotus draws
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ALNST MY BELOVED
#alien stage#cool art#if i have to suffer so do you#it’s not funny#i’ve been thinking about this all day#i’ve been crying all day#vivinos#im gonna cry#im gonna lose my mind#kill my feelings#fanart#alnst#alnst till#alnst ivan#alnst mizi#alnst sua#alnst round 6
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My favorite flavor of MiziSua official art 💕
#i like to suffer#sua beautifully haunting mizi and the narrative#save me doomed yuri save me#alnst mizi#mizi alnst#mizi alien stage#alnst sua#sua alnst#sua alien stage#mizisua#alien stage#alnst
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✨my doomed yaoi in the same pose as my other doomed yaoi✨
#I do this to suffer#yeah uh I would like to collect compensation for my mental and emotional distress after watching round 6#I’ve had enough doomed yaoi in my lifetime and would like to not have more thanks#ivantill#alien stage#alnst#alnst ivan#alnst till#vivinos#doomed yaoi#tragic gays#banana fish#asheiji#alien stage round 6
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IM SHAKING I'M ROCKING BACK AND FORTH AND HITTING MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL...
I initially thought round 7 would be something emotional in the sense that it would be more gloomy and depressing, but no--this is literally some crazy ass upbeat techno-disco rave-themed music....in other words, It feels like a concert this time.
The atmosphere is so energetic I WASN'T EXPECTING IT.
It's interesting how they stand on a stage that symbolizes themselves equally in a meshed sort of way, blue and green, in equal distance and on equal footing, unlike round 5 when Luka used elevation to his advantage a lot, it feels different here. Round 7 feels like a mix of their styles; even the song has a soft tempo with a mix of Till's roughness in there, but the idea that they'll fight for the stage feels somewhat pushed here. They both stand on the stage like they own it, and given their nature, Luka's manipulative personality allows him to dominate the stage with his presence, and Till's unwillingness to be overshadowed and made inferior this feels like on the flip side this round will be a real, and intense competition.
Round 7 is very different because, unlike the other rounds, Luka and Till are rivals. They have no chemistry of any sort. The reason why I say round 7 will be a real competition is because all the rounds before weren't, round 1, 2, 3, and 6 focused on the intimacy and relationship between characters, they were telling a story, pouring their hearts out through their songs, while round 7 will be made into a true death match.
In typical fashion, Luka establishes himself with a sense of superiority as he spreads out, fills the arena with his presence, absorbs the energy of the stage, and captivates the aliens' attention. It's because he's confident, at least outwardly. He sets up the illusion of power this way, but truthfully, he is more controlled than ever. The strings on his costume look akin to puppet strings to me. That kind of symbolism has been shown in his other costumes before, but this feels overbearing, and trapping.
Till is more reserved in the teaser, at least in this example, he's hidden in the shadows, and how he's feeling is ambiguous, though obviously, it isn't anything good, given that he was just thrown on the stage while he's mentally unstable and confused I'm sure that's an understatement.
When Vivinos mentions Till's emotional journey...what mindset Till will bring to the stage...this round is gonna be chaotic as hell
To me, Till looks all sorts of things, and anger is most prominent. He's flashy and loud, and the colors he's represented with are his own, Till embodies rebellion, and symbolizes that he's fighting to push the barriers of his cage, while Luka embraces his. after everything he's been through I'm sure his mind is a thunderstorm of mixed emotions, even just the look in his eyes.. so considering that--his side of things will probably be a lot more messy, but there is a good sign here that shows he seems to have regained his fighting spirit he doesn't look like he'll be going down without a fight at all.
And their body language here in the last frame--The lighting in this frame looks intense, like the weight of those lights is gradually bearing down on them, Till looks strangely slouched over like he's out of it (I believe he may have been drugged by the aliens again..) while Luka, for once, isn't even looking at his audience, he's looking to the side, seemingly distracted. It's notable just how detached they look from their performance and the moment. The detached and performative nature of round 7 highlights how this performance is all merely a high-budget spectacle, entertainment for the aliens as it always was. It's a fitting vibe for Luka and Till, who had gone through the most to make it here just to have every aspect of their personalities marketed, and to be paraded around like trophies by their guardians.
(they don't want to be there, basically.)
And now the title--FOUL. Is how i'd describe it based on my reading of it.
"Blink gone" could be connected to the other teaser, "Never come back again" as in --> "blink gone--and never come back again" is maybe a reference to the things (or people) they've lost in their lives, in seemingly the blink of an eye.
In general, blink gone is related to something fast-moving. So how will that sentiment be expressed in round 7 through their perspectives?
And YET AGAIN. I come back to this official art for another more parallel, I have no idea what the bands around Tills arms are about, but these two seem to correlate. (Or they could mean nothing at all. absolutely nothing at all. But fun fact: wearing black bands on your arm can be representative of mourning)
And Luka's design here, Luka still hasn't changed his aesthetic, so nothing noteworthy other than the fact that his outfit just got more revealing, I can probably see why, if there is an alien equivalent of fan service in the universe of Alien stage. There are lines on his chest that I assume are meant to be scarring? Luka has been said to have had surgeries and experiments before so that little detail they included...ughhhh.
And Mizi will seemingly be showing up for another rescue attempt, but as expected, the area is heavily guarded, more so than in round 6, so this may be a little tricky, and I have no idea how they'll pull it off this time with the atmosphere so intense and the aliens so close to them...
(ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT TILL'S ARMS- *gets shot*)
#alien stage#alnst#alnst till#alien stage till#alien stage luka#alnst luka#alien stage analysis#can you tell im going nuts over this#I WASNT EXPECTING ROUND 7 TRAILOR TODAY IM FUCKING SHAKING#UHGHGHHHH#TILL :SOB:#TILL PLEASE SURVIVE YOU CANT DIE#I DONT KNOW WHAT YOULL DOOOO BUT UHHH#PLEASE.#MIZI SAVE HIM#OMH#im suffering
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but the mizisua cure cover sounds like that because (according to the cover art) this would be a proper goodbye between them after the aliens shot sua. It's reciprocated yes but tragic because sua is dying. They're both mourning what it could have been. Mizi is softly caressing sua's wound while begging Sua to stay with her. Sua is using her last moments to look at mizi and tell her there never was and there will never be someone more important to her than Mizi.
Cure mizisua is another kind of goodbye. Longer, softer, more haunting. They don't need to yell their feelings because they know. But they want to say them because it will be their last time to do so.
#On the other hand Ivan yelled because he wasn't going to have another chance to express his feelings that clearly#This is pain and suffering#Till you gotta kick some ass#mizisua#alien stage
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There’s something so poetic about how Ivan didn’t think he’d be a trauma to Till, but then Round 7 showed that’s all he ended up being.
And by “poetic,” I mean “really fucking heartbreaking.”
Like, yes, Sua is most definitely a source of trauma for Mizi, but she’s also the source of a lot of good memories and a source of love.
Ivan wasn’t (or at least didn’t seem to be) a source of any of that for Till.
I think Ivan recognized that he hurt Till when they were growing up.
Not anything earth shattering or irredeemable, but that he wasn’t the nicest (he even acknowledges this in the ‘thank you for being a victim of my shallow emotions’ comic).
And he knew Till was already hurting after Mizi’s disappearance, plus what happened at the club, so he probably didn’t want to add to that.
Sacrificing himself in Round 6 solved two problems (in Ivan’s mind): Till would get to live, and Ivan couldn’t hurt him anymore. Bonus points for the sacrifice acting as an apology and a confession.
But even in death, Ivan still hurt Till.
Luka used the trauma of his death against Till. That’s one of the biggest reasons why Till lost.
Knowing that was the last thing Ivan wanted makes it so much worse.
It’s like hurting Till is this constant he can’t escape from.
Dead or alive.
#and before you ask#no i didn’t even try to have a good day today#you all will suffer with me#alien stage#alnst#alien stage ivan#alnst ivan#alien stage till#alnst till#alien stage ivantill#alnst ivantill#ivantill#alien stage round 6#alnst round 6#alien stage round 7#alnst round 7#ivanttakethis shut up about ivan challenge: impossible#ivanttakethis talks too much
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I'd kill for more ben 10 alien disabilities <3 i think pesky dust would look great in your style.
She's Watermelon Flavored~
(I threw in the Orthopeterran dev. sketch I made before I conceptualized the disability aid for the girlie since I didn't want it to go to waste ;w;)
#this took so long to make *sob*#I did a lot more research and brainstorming on the aliens themselves this time around rather than thinking in terms of human disabilities#hope it turned out okay!#thanks for the ask <3#art#digital art#digital painting#fanart#ben 10#ben ten#ben 10 omniverse#ben 10 alien force#ben 10 fanart#ben 10 aliens#Crashhopper#Orthopeterran#Way Big#To'Kustar#Pesky Dust#Nemuina#Gutrot#end my suffering
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SPOILERS FOR ALIEN STAGE FINAL (ROUND 7)
How about we rename Alien Stage to "Mizi watches everyone she cares about, quite literally everybody, DIE and the pain is neverending someone PLEASE KILL HER"
CAN'T WAIT FOR HYUNA TO KILL HERSELF TAKING DOWN LUKA WITH HER AND THEN MIZI ENDS UP ALONE IN THE END. I CANNOT WAIT.
#HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA IM IN SK MUCH PAIN#im veyr sad about till but I SAW HE SCENE OF HIM DYING IN A “BLINK GONE” PART OF THE SONG ABOUT A MILE AWAY#THE MOMENT I READ THE TITLE HE WAS DEAD TO ME.#(I'm coping im trying not to think about it#HE WAS MY FAVORITE WHYYYYYYYYY)#luka was so hot btw that freak anyway#END MIZI'S SUFFERING FOR FUCK SAKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE#alien stage#alnst#alnst mizi#alien stage mizi#alnst spoilers#spoilets#alien stage spoilers
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отчаянный | Desperate
(adj.) having a great need or desire for something.
🍊 content: Obsessed! Childe x fem! reader, implied red string of fate (sort of)
✦ content w: religious themes (if you squint), praise and worship (if you squint?), implied violence and murder by Childe, general angst
Childe had to fight.
Ajax was not older than 14 years old when he suddenly fell into the abyss on a regular snowy day in Snezhnaya. He closed his eyes for one moment, and the next thing he knew he was falling down towards dark colored waters of what looked like a dimly lit cave.
In seconds, Ajax felt himself crashing down harshly against the surface of the water before he began to slowly sink. He shivered, the water constantly staying icy and cold even when he was below the surface, and there was also an uncanny atmosphere that he felt as he continued to sink.
In a panic, Ajax swam up—the feeling of such a heavy weight on his entire body almost choked him off of oxygen as he managed to break to the surface of the water.
He gasps for air as he steadies himself before be swims to some nearby land. He clings to the sandy ground once he was out of the water, choking and gasping as the density grew greater on his body—as if it was going to crush his lungs and ribs at any given moment.
But he manages to grow accustomed to it a bit as he composes himself once more. He lets out an exasperated sigh as he asks himself what was happening.
He looked around for a moment and realized that the entire place was packed with wolves with shadow-like features that were focused on him upon his arrival.
The creatures were simply staring at Ajax with some kind of dark madness and hunger—albeit slow, some were already approaching him on the little island that he was on.
He had nothing to use to defend himself with—no armor, no shield, no weapons. When one of the wolves finally dashed forward with a jaw slightly hanging and ready to bite, all Ajax could think of was to run.
And he did run away—his legs moving light and fast as he tried to avoid all the other wolves that were coming in front of him. He was running even though his legs were tired, even when his lungs started to feel like they were bursting again.
For a moment, he was happy as he managed to lose sight of the wolves.
That was until he tripped.
He tripped over his own feet and began to roll down painfully against the rough and rigid ground. Once he finally landed at the bottom, his body had taken multiple fractures on the torso, and bleeding wounds on his face and arms.
Ajax groaned in pain, reaching and placing his hands on his hair before weakly clenching his hand on it. Ajax could hear the wolves coming as they howl with distorted voices from the direction he was just running away from.
He began to panic again, his breathing frantic and scattered all over the place. He closed his eyes for a moment as the darkness began to settle in his vision. For a moment he saw glimpses of mental images of his family—his mother, father, older and younger siblings.
Was this it? Was this his demise? He felt like crying, he didn’t want to die, not now, not when he was this young.
Why? Why? Why?
He questions desperately to the gods and celestia.
Fight.
His eyes opened, widening in shock as he wore a stunned expression on his face. He heard someone—the voice clear as day, with words spoken firmly as the frozen ice of Snezhnayan fjords, yet it was somehow spoken with the same desperation that he felt.
Fight, please. I’m begging you.
The voice’s tone broke momentarily, and Ajax could somehow picture someone in front of him as he lay on the ground—the person pleading, their warm and ticklish tears fell from their eyes and onto Ajax’s cheeks. Though their face was blurry and could be vaguely seen, he sensed some familiarity coming from them—even though he remembers no one with such a voice.
I don’t want you to die.
In an instant, Ajax rolls to the side as he avoids a claw strike from a wolf that had already came up to him. His back bumps into a nearby stone wall, but he manages to take a sharp rock before standing up with haste.
His hands are tensed, clenching the sharp stone and wielding it like a kitchen knife. Despite the state of his body, he felt the urge, the need to move and survive against the monster.
Ajax dashes forward as the shadow-like wolf lunges towards him. Before the ruined animal could bite his head off, he slides under the wolf and stabs its hide before slicing through its underbelly using the stone. Once the wolf’s body passes over him, it collapses onto the ground with a pool of blood quickly forming under its lower half.
For a moment, there was some sort of adrenaline that came over Ajax—one that made him feel stronger, more confident to survive, and his fresh kill ignited a newly sense of pride of winning.
He liked how it felt for some reason.
It wasn’t until the adrenaline wore off rather quickly. He coughed out some blood as he drops the sharp bloody stone to the ground, just before he fell to his knees—eventually, his body collapses onto the ground just like the wolf before passing out.
—
Childe had to survive.
When Ajax woke up, he found himself laying on the ground—his body covered in bandages. He groaned as the pain began to strike all over his body. He looked around for a moment and saw numerous wolves laying dead and bloodied everywhere.
He doesn’t remember doing any of this, and it somehow bothered him.
The next thing he knew, he was took in by a stranger who introduced herself as Skirk. He was taught multiple skills on how to survive in this place, which was called the Abyss. Skirk teaches Ajax how to survive and pass through the regions of the Abyss unharmed, and how to wield his hydro vision in the abyss—even though he wasn’t aware that he received a vision at all in the first place.
After a month of rigorous and intense training, Skirk teaches Ajax to wield Foul Legacy. For the first few tries, transforming and using Foul Legacy for even just a few seconds put such a heavy strain on his body, and he eventually ended up in critical condition every time.
When he passes out, he dreamt or had short visions. He saw someone making tea on a kitchen counter, their faces were blurry and could be vaguely seen but he could feel some sort of warmth emanating from them. Ajax somehow knew it was the same person who talked some sense into him on the first day that he fell into the Abyss.
He holds his hand out, reaching it gently towards the person.
He wakes up, his breathing heavy as he sweats profusely. Skirk was confused as to why Ajax woke up in such a way, yet she dismisses it as an insignificant nightmare that the young child probably had.
However, in Ajax’s case, he wanted more of that warmth that he felt just now. How long has it been since he’d touch something warm after falling into the cold Abyss? He doesn’t recall, he doesn’t remember—so, naturally, as a young adolescent, he wanted more of it, he craved it.
From then on, Ajax began to train harder, harsher—pushing his body to his limits everyday. He got stronger, and that’s what he told himself what his training was for—to get stronger, to be stronger.
To conquer the world.
A merely shallow form of self-manipulation to deny a more selfish reason he had in mind.
In truth, he wanted to see and feel more of that person, and he did—so long as he passed out. He passes out more frequently now as he continuously extends his limits—pushing himself until his body was in pain from just moving a hand.
Everytime he would pass out, he would constantly try to reach for them when they weren’t looking, he would try to see their face clearer, hear their voice clearer as they talked to him for even just a second. Eventually, he realizes they were a year younger or older than him—if not, they were perhaps the same age as he was.
But as another month passed, he began to pass out less, and when he did pass out, if wouldn’t be long enough to see that person again. While it confirmed that he did get stronger, he was irritated by the absence of such a warm presence. The only light that he had in the Abyss, and now it felt like he was losing it.
Stronger, I need to get stronger.
Ajax thought to himself angrily as he began to train even without Skirk. He continued to push his limits—training in the dark and heavy waters until his lungs almost gave out, training against stronger enemies using his Foul Legacy form, training against every other weapon that he could find in the Abyss. His bloodlust began to grow by the day as he relentlessly hunted the monsters that resided in the Abyss.
Yet for some reason, he no longer saw that person when he passed out. Did he recover too quickly? Were they going to leave him behind now? They wouldn’t right? Right?
He could feel himself losing his sanity, his thoughts full of silent pleas for that person to appear at least once every other day or so.
No, no, no, please. Don’t leave me here, come back.
COME BACK!
—
Childe needed to breathe.
When Ajax came back to Teyvat, he returned to his family cabin in Snezhnaya—to which he was welcomed back warmly and gladly with thankful sobs from his family members. Much to his surprise, he had been only missing for 3 days in Teyvat despite having trained for 3 months in the Abyss.
While Ajax missed his family so much, his thoughts were still plagued with the unknown warmth that he felt in the Abyss. Yes, he enjoyed the warm hugs and such affectionate love coming from his family, he enjoyed the warm sensation of his hands when faced to the fire of the cabin fireplace—but those, for some odd reason, could not compare to the comfort that he felt and witnessed first hand in the Abyss.
They were simply not enough.
It was a week after his return that Ajax looked up to the sky. The last shimmering gloss on his eyes reflected the clear blue skies of Snezhnaya that day, and he wondered if that was just the Abyss playing tricks on his head.
He sighed as he plopped down on the snowy ground. The Snezhnayan cold no longer affected him—not when the Abyss conditioned him with colder temperatures.
His hands twitch for a moment, just like it had been for the last week. He needed to move, to fight. He thought he could control himself, that he could return to just being his mother and father’s son.
But he couldn’t, and on that day, he ended up massacring all the ruin guards he could find in his region using his Foul Legacy form.
Ajax, stop, your body can’t handle any more stress.
His eyes widened after hearing a worried voice just as he was about to move to the next region—a small wave of warmth passes by him, the sensation was weak but familiar. He pauses for a moment, waiting for them to speak again—but there was only silence.
Where are you?
He looked around the snowy terrain, still in his Foul Legacy form. It took him a few seconds of silence before his body began to feel heavy—coughing up blood and collapsing onto the snow as he turns back into his normal self.
Where are you?
He repeats inside his head with desperation. He stood up and began to walk around, his other leg limping as he does so. His mouth was slightly agape, taking in shallow breaths of the thin air as blood trickled down his mouth.
Please, please. Answer me, where are you?
When he finally turned his head, he saw you.
Clear as day, warm as the sun.
His breath hitched as he felt your hand on his cheeks, your warmth constantly emanating and burning through his cold skin. He felt like crying right then and there, but he wondered if you were real—if this was real. He raised his hand to touch yours, and it did.
“Are you okay?” You ask him, your voice full of worry—yet its so soothing to his ears. It’s that same voice that Ajax could never mistake for someone else. Ajax just stares at you for a minute, too stunned to speak as he takes in your face. “Hey, you’re badly injured, we should take you home.” You suggest.
Ajax seemed to realize something for a moment. While he knew that the person he’s seen and heard in the Abyss was you, you were acting like a stranger to him—it confused him.
“You’re injured.” Ajax pointed out abruptly as he gently takes your hand off his cheeks and spins you around lightly, which catches you off guard for a second. “Who did this to you?” He asks, his voice low and angry as he runs a finger down your back—your spine crawls at the painful sensation.
“I got hit by a ruin guard earlier and passed out by that tree earlier.” You explained rather awkwardly. “But I’m fine now, so you there’s nothing to worry about. We should get you home since you’re in an even worse condition.” You say as you turned around to face him. “Can you tell me where you live? I’ll help you get there.”
Ajax tells you where he lives, and it surprises both of you that you two were neighbors. What a coincidence, how come you never saw in each other?
It was already midnight when Ajax returned to his family cabin, with you supporting him from the side. His mother was relieved to see his son back, but her concerned grew when she saw him covered in dirt and blood. She thanked you for accompanying him during his journey home.
You told them that you were going to leave, and Ajax couldn’t help but feel devastated by the idea—so he speaks to his mother, saying how you were also injured.
Naturally, as a loving and concerned adult that she was, Ajax’s mother told you that she could at least treat your injuries before you leave, and that you could stay the night in their cabin and return home the next morning.
The look of reluctance painted on your face somehow ticked something inside Ajax’s mind. He never questioned about what happened in the Abyss—how he heard your voice when he was on the brink of death, when he was barely going to survive. He simply concluded that it just happened, that your fates were intertwined so strongly that your voice reached him even when the two of you were worlds apart.
Don’t you feel the same? Why do you want to leave?
He wanted to be angry, but he can’t find it in himself to be angry at you—not when he thinks you’ve done so much for him, not when you saved him from the brink of death in the Abyss. You were his salvation, his one and only savior in this world—not even a single person from celestia came to put him back into his senses at the time, and for that he no longer believes in them.
He believes in you.
When you finally agreed to his mother’s offer, he felt glad—an understatement to the joyful emotion that he had swirling in his chest. He lets you sleep inside his room after being treated, and when you fell asleep, he took it upon himself to watch you.
He was kneeling on the ground, arms and head resting on the side of the bed. He continues to watch you in silence for a moment before he briefly caresses your cheek.
My god.
He lifts himself up a bit, enough that he hovered over your sleeping face. He plants a chaste kiss on your forehead, feeling the comforting warmth that you had stinging his cold lips.
My universe.
—
Childe suffocated.
When he finally got recruited into the fatui, he was given a nickname, “Childe”.
Acknowledged by the Tsaritsa and the organization for having great strength at such a young age, he was given a chance to be promoted—to become a harbinger, but he had to sacrifice something or someone.
He was made to choose.
Blinded by the loyalty that he swore, he chose to sacrifice someone who would get in the way of the fatui ambition that he had. You.
With fates intertwined as strong as celestia, he was told by the Fatui that you would hinder his progress, his strength.
You were a distraction.
While Childe did return to be a fairly normal person ever since he had you by his side, the warmth that he felt from you slowly faded into something more common. Your warm hugs no longer felt special over time—it was as if you turned into another fireplace for him to stare at.
Snezhnaya was not as cold as the Abyss, and so he disregarded the need for something as warm as you.
So there he stood, in front of you with a knife held dangerously close to your neck. His hands trembled, and he seemingly fought every cell of his body from hesitating.
I just have to kill her.
He thought to himself, his inner voice lacking any sense of determination to do so.
You, yourself, was not surprised that he had come to kill you.
You knew this day would come, and you just hoped it wouldn’t happen to his family. While you were clearly against him joining the Fatui, you said nothing—a decision that you’ve come to regret every day.
As his hands trembled, you smiled sadly—closing your eyes as you held his hands. For a moment, his eyes widened, and everything turned silent as the sound of blood splattered on the ground.
Childe did not come home to his family that day like he said he would.
—
Childe has forgotten how to breathe.
“What do you mean you don’t know about big sister?” Teucer pouted, and Childe simply laughed confusedly at the young ginger.
“Who are you talking about, Teucer?” Childe asks his younger brother without a single shine of sunlight reflecting his eyes.
“You know who I’m talking about!”
“Big sister Tonia?” Childe raises a brow, but Teucer shakes his head with a frown—he was getting upset with his big brother now.
“The one you always brought to go ice fishing with us.” Childe doesn’t know what his younger brother was talking about.
“I don’t recall bringing anyone other than you when we go ice fishing by the lake, Teucer.” Childe spoke honestly and knelt down to Teucer’s level. “Buddy, are you sure you aren’t tired?” Childe asks worriedly.
Teucer shakes his head, still frowning.
Everything was so odd for Childe ever since he woke up this morning. Everyone in his family cabin had asked him about someone he doesn’t know about—his family claims that the two of them were close, very close, and they wondered why Childe no longer remembers them.
Who on earth were they talking about?
Childe asks himself as he holds Teucer’s hand as they walk to the frozen lake nearby. He wonders who that person was, and how he forgot about them if they were so close.
Once they arrived to the frozen lake, Childe couldn’t help but stare at the scenery for a moment. It was as if he was stunned for a moment from the aching sensation that he deeply felt in his chest.
It was the same lake that he’d visited in his entire life, yet for some reason…
Why is it so cold?
✦ this is kind of bad.. idk how to feel about this
✦ I didn’t want to write this because I hate angst + my sweet boy, but if I suffer I’m dragging everyone else with me
✦ would rather praise and worship him instead ngl
✦ there’s gonna be an extended version of this if I don’t get lazy soon so look out for that
✦ Yes, there’s ivantill reference there
#childe#ajax#tartaglia#genshin impact childe#genshin impact ajax#genshin impact tartaglia#childe x reader#tartaglia x reader#ajax x reader#bad writing#a bit of angst maybe#implied red string of fate#implied violence and murder#religious themes#some praise and worship#genshin impact#Snezhnaya#angst#childe angst#tartaglia angst#ajax angst#suffering#I’m suffering#I’m sick as I write this#forgive me#I hate this#I hate angst#but if I suffer so does everyone else#alien stage reference#ivantill reference
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Till who sketches Ivan aggressively to remember him by, Till who draws not for pleasure but for preservation. Till who won't let Ivan slip his mind, Till who will draw Ivan because a drawing is all he has left of him and be it one day he would regret not looking closer at him because maybe then he would've remembered his features
#man i love angst#ivantill#Ivantill headcanons#alnst ivan#alnst till#alnst#alien stage#welcome to Alien Stage we have suffering
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