#after a year of literal blood sweat and tears i was almost there!!!

[dawnquafam]

.

[winterarmyy]

And You're Mine

How grumpy chubby alpha!bucky finally found his omega

Summary: In which Bucky, the big, scary, 'undesired alpha' was tricked into a blind date where he met his precious little omega.

Navigation: Prequel || Main Story I || Main Story II || Main Story III

Words: 4.7k++

Pairing: chubby alpha!bucky x omega!female!reader

Warnings: implied 18+ content, implied smut, a/b/o dynamics, self-deprication, body shaming, tiny bit of angst, fluffiness, bucky has a size kink (if you squint), horny-ass bucky has lots of dirty thoughts, vivian being a digusting bitch, protective y/n, even more protective bucky and overall wholesome.

P/S: Ahhhhhhhhh!!! My first omega-verse fic; i have no clue what I'm doing. This is mostly self-indulgent but if you come across this and somehow interested to read it then I hope you enjoy!

Read my other works here: Masterlist

"Are you fucking with me right now?" Bucky momentarily shuts his eyes, slightly titled his chin upwards, as if that'll help the boiling blood within his nerves to cool down.

Steve had expected that his best friend would be a little bit annoyed with his decision to trick him into agreeing to this suprise date but he didn't expect him to get this pissed, "Come on now, Buck. I promise you're gonna love this one."

"You said the same shit everytime!" Bucky almost roared in the middle of the crowded carnival, but he held back with a muted growl.

Ever since he lost his left arm on a rescue mission during his time in the Special Forces Unit, the society had deemed him to be "lesser than" despite the alpha title he was born into.

You would've thought that serving your country for about 6 years of your early 20's would be enough of a reason to make up for the so called "lacking", but no.

Apparently, his heroic contributions, his Sargent rank, and his literal blood, sweat and tears meant nothing when he returned home as an amputee.

Even if he came back with the medal of honor, pinned on the fabric of his uniform, right on his prideful chest; they didn't care. A defected alpha is as good as dead, especially in this modern, competitive society where its a lot more difficult to find a mate.

At first Bucky was optimistic, he didn't let them get to him.

He believed that his mate is out there somewhere, waiting for him, as he is for her.

After Stark Technologies offered him to join their research for under the Prosthetics and Orthotics Division, Bucky was lucky to fully revived his left arm in a form a vibranium prosthetic.

Even then, as time passed, the venomous whispers eventually managed to seep through; like any other poison, it is lethal to his mind.

And Bucky stopped trying to be an alpha. His pride was maimed and he let himself wallow in self hatred; letting his insecurity consume him. Eventually quite literally ate his pain away.

They said that he was rubbing salt to his own wound as now he was not just an amputated alpha, he is also a fat one at that.

With his alpha reputation being at its worst, his chances of finding a mate also went down hill.

"This one's gonna be different. Trust me." Steve claimed.

Bucky doesn't know why Steve seemed really convinced. But he wasn't having any of that, he rolled his eyes into a glare, "And how's that?"

Steve's blue eyes sparked as optimism lit on his face, "Well, first of all, she's one of Peggy's closest friends and.."

"Oh great, now you involve your omega into this." Bucky let out an unfiltered scoff before sarcastically exclaimed, "Just fantastic."

Steve growled at the mention of his mate, "Watch it, Bucky." He warned.

Bucky's drilling glare remained the same as Steve's alpha challenged his.

It's not that Bucky is against the idea of Peggy or any other omega helping him in any way. But, Steve had been annoyingly persistent with these set ups and he was sick of it. Perhaps he was a bit petty bringing Peggy into the conversation but he really was just tired of this.

Steve's scowl gradually soften before he continued his reasons, "...And, your date is actually the one requesting for a set up with you."

And that definitely caught Bucky's attention. Steve could see it, especially when Bucky's ears perked up a little and his ever-lasting frown loosen at the tiniest amount.

Steve smirked triumphantly, "Specifically you."

For moment, there was a hesitation on Bucky's side; and there were only the chaotic atmosphere around them. From the screaming of the riders on the roller coater to the giggles of children at the nearby courasell.

Steve really thought he managed to lure Bucky but he was caught by surprise when Bucky replied, "You'd think I'd fall for that crappy excuse of a lie? No. I'm leaving." Bucky turned on his heels.

"I'm not lying." Steve stopped him as he held on his arm, "Hey, you're gonna break her heart."

"Break her heart? How about mine? Just how many more heart breaks do I have to endure? How much more disappointment do I have to go through?"

Bucky gathered his palms into fists as he recalled all the mean, insulting words his past lovers had thrown at him and all those time he wasted on waiting for his dates to show up.

Just before Bucky planning to lash out, a voice interupted his thoughts "Hey, sorry for being late." Peggy came just in time.

Though it was just her; no sign of his so called date around.

An unexpected sting spreads within Bucky's chest. Of course she would stood him up too. Why was he surprised?

Steve pulled his omega into a tight hug, "Hey, baby. Where's y/n?" He asked.

"She's went to the bathroom." Peggy replied before taking a peep towards Bucky, "She got really nervous when she saw you. She might take some time to calm down. She thought its better if you know." Peggy explained.

On one side, Bucky can feel that sliver of hope creeping in. He look down to where he was supposed to see his feet, but unable to see them as now they're blocked by the round of his soft tummy. That's when the dark thoughts clouded his mind.

Was she just feeling nervous or was she regretting her decision?

After a short back and forth explanation, Peggy swept Steve away and had left Bucky on his own. She claimed that the line to the haunted house will double if they wait any longer. But, Bucky knew that they just wanted to leave him and his date alone.

Like every other date before, Bucky was emotions was all over the place; nervous, scared, intrigued, excited but what's different tonight was he also felt angry and annoyed. Which was not a good thing to feel on a date.

So he went to a Whac-A-Mole machine near the spot where he was supposed to wait for his date. He had to hit something. He just had to. He need to let his anger out one way or another.

His gloved hand gripped tightly on the wooden handle as he waited for the next round. Smack after smack, next was harsher than before, he did felt better. But even if the fire was out, the ashes were still burning.

As he was fixated on whacking the shit out of the moles, a particular scent invaded his nostrils. A sweet-smelling scent; something between a mix of cotton candy and butterscotch-caramel nuances.

It should be normal to smell this at a place such as a carnival; but the food stalls were all the way on the other end of the venue and this scent was too strong, too potent, to be that far away from him.

Bucky just had to stop as he relished the pleasant smell; it was truly a sweet and warm gourmand scent that ushered him in and out between nostalgic memories and pure raging lust.

That was when he heard a voice coming from his back, "You must've been really bored waiting that you started without me." She sounded amused when she let out a quiet laugh.

Even before Bucky had the chance to turn around he knew he was fucked; she just had to have the most captivating scent he had ever smell, and the most beautiful-sounded laughter he had ever heard.

What a foul torment to do to an alpha.

When Bucky turned around, he would've missed her if he wasn't paying enough attention on the lower area of his view.

And there she stood, in all her glory of ethereal beauty; small and sweet-looking in an off-shoulder sundress that does nothing but tempt Bucky to leave his mark all over her exposed skin. A simple necklace adorned with a gleaming stone that shines much like her eyes. A shy smile that may have just triggered some dark thoughts in Bucky's mind on corrupting the poor little thing.

"James, right? I'm y/n." she introduced herself but when Bucky's gaze fell on her rosy lips, all he could think was how bad he wanted to bite and suck on them just see if it'll get redder than they already were.

He was too focused entertaining on his inner beast's thoughts that he just stood there in silence, frowning intensely at the sweet little omega in front of him.

Y/N took his unresponsiveness as a sign of anger, so quickly apologised for her tardiness, "Sorry for making you wait so long. When we..i mean I. When I saw you, the nerves started kicking in." At least she tried to, despite stuttering in the between her words.

Fuck, she's such a pretty doll but above all, Bucky just wanted to protect her from the world, provide for her with anything she deserves, treat her like an absolute queen, worship every inch of her being like his own personal goddess and jesus fuck these urges came in stronger than he ever experienced.

With the lights coming from behind, Bucky's face was in the shadows and Y/N misterinterpret his spell-bound, diluted eyes to something else.

Y/N's brows creased in hesitation as she wonders if Bucky was still mad, "Uhh... oh shit" then her eyes widen in a false realization, "Is the something on my face?" She frantically searched for her phone in her bag.

And fuck does that big doe eyes of hers just casually seduce Bucky to think of how she would look when she's taking his cock in her mouth. She'd be so fucking pretty.

She knew she should've used her phone's camera to re-apply her lipstick instead of the cracked mirror at the carnival's bathroom, "The mirror here is f--"

Yes, Bucky would want to breed her so good that she would always be full with his pups.

She's undeniably... "Perfect." Bucky finally spoke after what seemingly feels like forever.

His voice was laced with a hint of territorial grunt that Y/N was not able to catch what he said, "Hmm?" She titled her head to the side, eyes pleading for him to repeat.

It took Bucky all of his mental strength to hold back his alpha urges when he repeats, "You're perfect, doll. Just absolutely perfect." A cheshire smile decorated his handsome face.

Did he meant to say she look perfect? Well, yes but no. He clearly meant she was perfect, her whole being. But Y/N took it as the prior, "Thank you." She smiled sweetly as her cheeks warmed.

Bucky definitely noticed the slight indent of her left dimple. And he wondered how would it felt against his fingers. "Adorable." He thought as his smile grew wider.

Y/N had been waiting for this moment, to finally had a chance to have this man even for a day, especially considering she had the biggest crush on this stranger that helped her a year ago.

One time she might just had met her potential mate was that one time she had to be dosed with shit tons of scent blockers. And that might just be reason why Bucky may not remember her but that's fine. She had one more chance with him tonight.

After that encounter, his scent, his voice, his presence lingered in her mind longer than she anticipated. At least until the moment Peggy showed a photo her alpha that had Bucky in it.

She grew hopeful and had been pestering her to set up somehow set up date with him.

When the time finally comes, she couldn't help but to fell into panic, "Did I introduce myself? I'm y/n" she completely forgot that she already did that.

Bucky let out the most adorable laugh before he reminded her, "You very well did, sugar." His hand move so naturally to tuck the strand of her hair behind her ear as she fell into utter embrassement.

"I'm Bucky." He finally introduced himself.

"Bucky?" Y/N outwardly questioned. She thought his name was James, as Peggy said it was.

He hummed softly as he nodded, "The name's James Bucky Barnes." He explained. "Just call me Bucky, yeah sugar?" He duck his head to peek on her redden face, "...cause I can't guarantee my behaviour around you if you keep calling me James." He quirked his eyebrow as his teasing grin spreads.

Oh, he was definitely and unashamedly insinuated something quite unholy there.

Bucky straighten on his back as he offered his arms, "Shall we, then? I would love to know more about you, sweet 'mega."

No matter how infatuated Bucky was with this lovely little omega clinging to his arm; a part of him was also on a defensive mode.

His insecurities gets the best of him when he believe that all of this was just an act, a cruel prank that fate has set up for him or maybe he was just having a ridiculous dream, knowing how pitiful his reality was.

Despite his gentle smile and longing gaze that's lingering on Y/N who was having the best time of her life as her bright eyes sparked at the vibrant and colorful firework show, deep down, he couldn't help to think that sooner or later, all of this will end like it always does.

Another heart break he needed to endure.

But, she was truly an angel. She was everything he could ever hoped for, everything that he could ever long for.

He can't belive that she would spend even a second of her time with a defected, fat, angry looking alpha such as himself.

Maybe this won't be just another heart break.

Maybe this would be the cause for him to actually break beyond repairable.

And she would be the catalyst.

"Thank you for today, Bucky. I truly enjoy my time with you." She confessed with a sincere appreciation and admiration towards him. She shyly broke their eye contact as her finger fiddled with soft fur of the teddy bear that Bucky won for her.

It reminds her of him so much that she insisted that he need to win it for her.

So he did.

His alpha couldn't help to puff with pride. "Omega's happy because of us." But his lips remain shut with a loving smile curved on it.

The dimple on her cheek appeared again and this time he didn't stop his hand from reaching out. Though they were gloved, he still let himself feeling the pleasure of grazing his fingers along her cheek, through her dimple and stopped underneath her chin.

Bucky pulled her closer as he dipped down to her level. Warmth sparked in Y/N's chest, as if the fireworks show magically transferred within her instead, "Buck--"

"Bucky?" A women's voice interupted their moment. "Bucky is that you?" She called again and her familiarity had caught both Y/N and Bucky's attention.

"Oh my god! It is you!" her ecstatic tone might have fool Y/N for a second there.

Maybe she's a close friend of Bucky, but when she saw the colors from his face drained quite drastically, she might need to hold on to that thought.

"Vivian." Bucky's tone changed into something Y/N couldn't put her finger on. Sorrow? Anger? Regret? She wasn't sure but it was not a positive response.

The claimed omega sauntered closer and peered towards Y/N with a glint of judgment in her eyes, "And I see you managed to trick another one, huh?"

That triggered a scarring spot within Bucky.

He could still remember the way she accused him of luring and tricking omega to be with him. Apparently, she couldn't stand being him during intimate time especially during his ruts.

And one particular moment when his rut was at its peak and she couldn't stop herself to turn into an unforgiving monster.

"I can't believe I fell for your charms. Then now I need to deal with this." Vivian looked away, unable to look at her boyfriend, hot and bothered, bare and in pain.

Bucky pants and groan as Vivian continued to insult him from the corner of him room, "Look at you, Bucky! You look fucking pathetic!" She yelled as she angrily pointed her hands towards him.

He turn to his side facing her, and curled his body to manage the raging pain of wanting to stick his cock into something. Vivian was to busy ranting that she couldn't see the fire in Bucky's grilling frown.

"You can't expect me to touch you now especially with your big fucking belly spilling out like that. God, you're sweating like damn dog and you fucking reek!" Her eyes narrowed and her nose wrinkled in disgust before she continued, "And don't get me started with that wretched arm of yours."

That's it. Bucky was not having any of it anymore. He was seconds away from slamming Vivian's face to the wall as his primal alpha needs to aggress were also heighten in his rut.

"Then, get the fuck out of my house, you useless annoying bitch." Bucky growled through his pain.

Vivian was not able to catch a breath as her mouth hang open in shock. Bucky never been that harsh with her but honestly it was about time he did.

"Don't even think of coming back." He warned as she closed the doors behind her.

Unknowingly leaving Bucky's heart bruised and battered.

That was almost a year ago. Bucky gave her the benefit of a doubt as he thought maybe she would change once she find her the love life but apparently she is as vicious as ever.

The tall blonde continue to linger as she asked, "Did you know? About that arm of his?"

Y/N didn't know what she was talking about but she didn't want to entertain this woman, especially when Bucky was clearly uncomfortable with her presence.

Though her silence only lead Vivian to speculate, "Aww, you poor thing, you don't know, do you?" Her mockery was getting worst, "It's fake, honey. He lost his arm many years ago." She flicked Bucky's left arm with long bird-like nails; or claws, that seemed more accurate.

Bucky caught the way Y/N's eyes briefly glanced at his covered arms then his gloved hand. What was she thinking then? Does she think that he was defected? That he is a damaged goods?

He couldn't help to let his mind wonder to the worst case scenarios and to make the unpleasant situation even worse Vivian slightly tugged Bucky's jacket to the side.

Revealing his round and plushy belly, "And fuck did you get bigger?" She sneered as the ruthless insult continue to spill.

"Shut up." Y/N's broken silence caught them off guard.

Vivian scoffed, "What?"

Y/N piercing gaze landed on Vivian's hand still tugging Bucky's jacket. She harshly grabbed her on the wrist, didn't care whether if her nails would dug into the woman's skin.

"I said..." The air felt heavier, only for Y/N to shove more force to it when her voice dropped a few octaves down, "Shut the fuck up before I tear your throat apart."

How dare she insult her alpha, especially when Y/N was right there with him.

"Are sure you want to do that?" Vivian's alpha suddenly stepped in. Even though he clearly was not interested in the matter a few seconds ago.

Y/N took a step forward, "Try me." She dared him.

"I might as well fuck your balls up while I'm at that, huh? Maybe you'll learn a thing or two about subduing your insolent omega."

Oh, she meant what she said; its especially clear when the growling started to peak a presence through her voice.

The taller was bright red, with embrassment and anger, "You're talking to an alpha. Know your place 'mega!" He forced his alpha command on her.

She fought back as much as she could but of course she was forced to submit. When the alpha tried to reach for her, that's when Bucky blocked his way.

Bucky's demeanour completely changed into something different. His meek presence vanished and now turned into a pure and primal rage. Good thing was he contained it quite well so he won't cause a scene but his gaze degrades the one before him.

Though the alpha was slightly taller but Bucky was certainly bigger and being a veteran, of course he'd be stronger. One wrong move, he might get a chance to meet the grim reaper sooner than he'd expect.

It felt as if Bucky was towering over the alpha, as he challenged him to come a step further, "Touch her and you're dead." Bucky let out a deep, murderous growl as he threatened.

The alpha was about to protest but was forced into a frozen state as he look into Bucky's sapphire eyes; there was something ominous about it, something dark and dangerous.

Being overwhelmed by Bucky's strong scent of rage, Vivian quickly pulled her alpha away, "Let's just go... They're not worth it." She coaxed, and the alpha agreed.

Before they leave, she managed to slip a last comment, as she wishes luck to Bucky, "Goodluck keeping this one." She thought she was being sleek when she whispered so quietly but Y/N heard that just fine.

When Y/N snapped out of the alpha command, she grunted, "I'm gonna kill her." What a menancing look in those coffee-stained eyes of hers.

Bucky only softened to her threatening aggressions, "No, you're not " he rubbed his hand to the sides of her arms, trying to calm her down.

Which failed miserably when she replied, "Watch me." She spun around, eyes searching in the crowd, trying to spot a glimpse of the rude couple.

"Hey hey, omega." Bucky quickly catch her before she could walk further, pulling her back to his chest, both of his arms securing her waist, "Calm down. Shhh shhh." Bucky let out a calming rumble from within his chest, coaxing her softly,  "Killing is not necessary, sugar."

Despite her tensed body were starting to relax, her mind certainly wasn't, "And why the hell not?" Her small hands gripped onto the fabric of Bucky's jacket on his arms.

"No one deserved to be treated like that." She whispered softly as Bucky continued to kiss the top of her head, mumbling quiet 'I know, doll. I know' 

"You don't deserve to be treated like that, Bucky." Her voice shivered despite her efforts to conceal them.

Bucky loosen his grip and turned her to face him. His loving gaze took in every single one of Y/N's sweet features; from her teary eyes to her redden nose and pouty lips.

He wanted to kiss each of them, in hopes of making her feel better. But he doesn't want to take any chances as he had already made a bold move to hug her from behind and kiss her head prior.

Bucky looked down at his dark midnight glove, and Y/N took his lead. Before she could say anything, Bucky started pulling each one off. Revealing his calloused right hand and a shiny black and gold prosthetic on the other.

He can't see her reaction to his vibranium arm, but he imagined the worst. He took in a shaky breath before he spoke, "Alpha is supposed to be perfect. They supposed to be capable. So that they can provide and protect their omega."

He paused as Y/N wrapped took both of his hand in hers but then continued regardless, "And I am far from being perfect or ideal. I lost a limb and gained pounds in return. I can't hide that fact."

"But I swear to god y/n, I never intent on tricking you or using you, in any way." In the end, Vivian's gaslighting effect of Bucky was still stronger as ever.

Why couldn't he see that there was nothing less about him.

"It's pretty." Y/N titled his left hand back and forth, watching the glow on the gold lines reflect the lights of the carnival; each move create random sparkling dots on its smooth surface, it looks like stars.

Bucky didn't understand at first until she looked up at him, with eyes gleaming with mixture of intrigued and infatuation, "It's so pretty, and Bucky..." She reached her hand to his face, gently rubbing her thumb on his stubble jaw, "You're beautiful. All of you." She confessed.

She carefully pulled her hand away from his cheek, and grabbed his left hand with both of hers, allowing it draw near to her lips before she placed a loving kiss on it, "This arm," Then her hands caressed the softness of his tummy, "this body," before they stopped at his chest where his beating heart resides, "this heart. Every single part of you is beyond beauty itself."

Bucky frowned as he find it hard to believe and Y/N knew that, "I mean it, Bucky."

A short chuckle left her lips as a thought run through her mind, "God, you'd be running scared, if you know half of the things I would love to do to you."

Bucky bit back a smile as he let his teeth sink into his bottom lip.

Y/N continued as she held onto his hands, "But, above all Bucky, you are the sweetest man I've met." There was nothing more sincere than her words, "Yeah I know we just met and what not, but if I can see that just in one night, imagine if I get to know more of you tomorrow or the next day and next week?"

Her grip on him grew stronger as she reminded him, "Don't let an impudent omega or anyone even, convice you otherwise."

"Because Bucky, you are as lovable as a person can be." She placed his palm on either side of her cheeks, purring as the sensation on skin felt so right, "And I am absolutely honoured and proud to be standing here with an alpha like you." She smiled like she was the happiest omega on earth.

And Bucky could not control the overwhelming joy within his thundering chest as it bursts with endless fluttering butterflies. He had never felt such comfort, such reassurance in his life, especially after returning home from the army.

Flickers igniting as he leaned in closer and closer until their lips touched, tentively for the first time. The smell of her cotton candy and caramel, so sweet and so soft, it was almost dizzying, but he was more than thrilled to let it consume him. 

Y/N briefly parted her lips to let him in and leaned into the kiss, wanting more of the delicious sensation of his lips, his tongue on hers. Bucky wanted nothing more than devour her, memorizing of every single moan that fell into his mouth.

It felt so right; it was exactly was his soul had been yearning for and more.

Breaking the kiss was the reminder to both of them they need air to breath, and Bucky rested his forehead on hers as he took in everything that just happened.

While Y/N found herself completely drunk to the feeling of love within her body and soul, she whispered dearly as she scatters most tender kisses all over Bucky's face, "You're so pretty. So perfect. So... mine."

And that caught Bucky in another spiral of confusion; she could see it in face especially with his sapphire eyes being as wide as they were.

She giggled amusingly before she proposed, "Will you be mine, James Bucky Barnes?"

God, he was supposed to be the alpha here. But what can he say, his omega is quite a special one.

He breathed a relief sigh, "Yes." Leaned in for a quick taste of her lips before asking his a question of his own, "And you're mine?"

Her nose crunched as she booped its tip on his, "Always." She replied. Bucky could feel her smile against his lips and so does she.

Unbeknownst to the happy couple, a few feet away from them was Peggy who was busy clicking her camera away, trying to get the best shot she could out of the couple while Steve was trying hard to hold back his proud sniffles as he stood guard near his omega.

End.

Read my other works here: Masterlist

A/N: Sooooooo what you think? Feel free to give feedback I love reading your thoughts!

[not-so-mundane-after-all]

I keep rewatching that epilogue scene and, the way Hunter and Omega talk about her joining the Rebellion... You can tell this is not the first time they're having this conversation. And I just can't help but wonder what the previous one(s) must have looked like.

Because something tells me it wasn't peaceful.

I just can't imagine Hunter having any other reaction than an immediate, definitive "absolutely not" the first time he hears about Omega wanting to join the Rebellion. Just like I can't imagine Omega being okay with that reaction.

Were they arguing about it? Were they butting heads and not backing down from their respective points? Because they would. Absolutely, they would.

Did their brothers have conversations with both of them separately? Did Wrecker tell Omega to give Hunter a break because he's old and worried? Did Crosshair convince Hunter that he can't keep a grown woman grounded just because he's scared about her? Did Echo tell him that if this is Omega's calling, he has to let her do her thing?

She tried to sneak off. As if she didn't want to go through this again. As if she thought leaving without a goodbye would be easier on everyone and this way no one can stop her. After all, she made up her mind. She's going. But when she turns the light on and spots Hunter sitting there, she's not even surprised. She nods to herself like of course. Of course he's here.

This literally sounds like they've been over this before. But this time the conversation is surely more peaceful. They both have the other's perspective in their minds now.

This is my choice and I know it scares you but I need you to understand.

I know I won't change your mind but I don't want you to go, I want you to be safe.

This must have been said before as well. Maybe in anger. Maybe in pleading. Or desperation. I wouldn't be surprised if Omega got very frustrated with Hunter for treating her like she's still a kid. Nor would I be shocked if Hunter had trouble articulating his point of view in all his worry and panic. But here, it's a confession. It's very vulnerable. It's the truth Hunter doesn't want to hear and gives a reason why.

Omega is a grown woman now. Skilled, capable, brave. Hunter doesn't doubt that. But to him, she's always going to be his little girl no matter how old she is and I am still speechless at the fact that we actually see him not only struggling with it but also admitting to it.

Back on Pabu, after they escaped Tantiss, Hunter told her: "We've all fought enough battles for one lifetime." And now, years later, Omega echoes this back to him. "You've all fought enough." Almost like she's reading Hunter's mind and knows that if he can't stop her, he's going to want to join her.

The way he wants to reach after her here when she gets up. Like he wants to say wait, no, don't go yet!

But this is her fight, just like she says. She's never been able to sit still, we know that, we've seen that. Just like Echo back in season 2, she can't stand the thought of staying down and doing nothing when there are people out there fighting for freedom. People she can help. She's a skilled pilot now (I can bet she'll become most famous in the Rebellion for her flawless Tech-Turn), she has absorbed everything her brothers have taught her over the years like a sponge and now she wants to use that. After years of living away from the fight, she's finally ready to get back out there and make a difference in the galaxy. Fight for peace because that is her calling.

She's ready, but Hunter is not.

You can tell it's literally tearing him apart to watch her go. That's his baby, the whole reason he's living the life he has now. He gave his blood, sweat and tears so she could grow up safe and happy and away from the Empire's clutches. And now she's going back right into them, willingly.

But she's all grown up. And he has no choice but to let her go do her thing. So he holds her close and I don't doubt sends out a prayer that she comes back to him safe and in one piece. He closes his eyes and commits the feeling to memory because who knows when will be the next time he gets to do this?

And it might be destroying him inside but he's so damn proud. And he knows she's got this. She doesn't need her old man to watch her back anymore.

And yet still this old man, with gray in his hair and beard, this old man whose posture is hunched and who is moving slowly and having difficulty standing up because of his accelerated age, is telling his very grown up and very capable daughter that if she needs him, he's going to pick up his blaster, don the armor and join her in the fight.

Because that's what fathers do.

[ssparksflyy]

BUT I DONT WANNA DANCE, IF IM NOT DANCING WITH YOU ♡ !

pairing percy jackson x ballerina!reader summary (smau) just a few days in the life as a pro ballerina nd her loving bf ( ꈍ◡ꈍ) an guys i dont know anything abt ballet please dont come for me 😭 also!! first smau and first time writing in foreverrrrr

♡ liked by perseajackson, annie.beth, prettygirlpipes, hazelluvsu, clarisseswrld, lightning.mcqueen and others

soyn last few days in the studio have been soso hectic but im forever great full i get to spend them with some of the most beautiful amazing dancers in the whole wide worlddd ‹𝟹 ( dont forget to buy ur tickets for our upcoming recital !! )

annie.beth u guys literally look so good !! popped in the other day to help with lighting issues and oh em gee im so excited nd proud!!

⤷ soyn and u didnt say hello !! literally what !!

⤷ annie.beth my boss didnt let me ᴖ̈

⤷ soyn they hate to see us together fr

tallesttiptoes blood sweat nd tears going into this guys buy ur tickets ꃋᴖꃋ

⤷ soyn no literally like the amount of band-aids i have on rn ....

⤷ perseajackson can confirm shes gone through two boxes of hello kitty band-aids in the last month

lightning.mcqueen where can i buy tickets plsss (ㅅ´ ˘ `)

⤷ soyn TY JASON !! (balletwebsite.com) !!

♡ liked by soyn, letsbefrank, sillysallyjackson, underwoodz, annie.beth, fireboy, lightning.mcqueen and others

perseajackson day like forty seven of trying new recipes except when i tried making what i had originally planned i spilled like half of our salt ... we resorted to pasta but its a win cause my gf loves pasta

fireboy how the hell did u spill half of ur salt

⤷ perseajackson ive literally watched you intentionally put seven cups of salt into a cake before

⤷ fireboy ... and what im a salty man

⤷ prettygirlpipes we know

lightning.mcqueen waiting for the day u make me dinner ᴖ̈

⤷ perseajackson ill make u a full course meal bro dw

⤷ lightning.mcqueen bro ily

⤷ perseajackson omg no ily more

view more replies

soyn best chef in ny fr !! after ur mom ofc

⤷ perseajackson real i can never compete with her she'd eat me up

⤷ soyn its cause she's sally jackson babe dw

now playing ... birds of a feather by billie eilish

♡ liked by annie.beth, soyn, perseajackson, lightning.mcqueen, hazelluvsu, fireboy, letsbefrank and others

prettygirlpiper group met up at the fair this weekend nd omg ... i have not laughed n had so much fun since i cant even remember like core memory fr + everybody's fav couple making the whole fair feel single

annie.beth WE LITERALLY NEED TO DO THIS MORE IT WAS SM FUN

⤷ fireboy YALL DONT UNDERSTAND I HAVE NO LIFE IM FREE WHENEVERRR ( ˶•ᴖ•) !!

hazelluvsu i had so much fun except for when i almost died of laughter after watching jason lose at thirteen games in a row

⤷ lightning.mcqueen TRAITOR

⤷ perseajackson damnnnn u did my man dirty hazel

⤷ letsbefrank nah cause it was genuinely sad after a while

⤷ lightning.mcqueen percy ur the only one who understands me

soyn ily guys sm omgggg (pipes dont be shy send me that pic ˘ ³˘)

⤷ prettygirlpiper i gotchu pooks dw ♡

♡ liked by perseajackson, tallesttiptoes, letsbefrank, luvrgirlsteph, annie.beth, prettygirlpiper, fireboy and others

soyn im working late, cause im a singer dancer ( recital is in two days we r stressing but so ready !! )

tallesttiptoes OH YEAH im so ready (im not ready at all) literally so pumped (crying in my closet rn) i CANNOT wait (im going to kms)

⤷ luvrgirlsteph WE GOT THIS GIRL DONT KYS ‹𝟹

perseajackson ilysm babe u got this !!

⤷ soyn tysm percy ily (˃̣̣̥ᴖ˂̣̣̥)

⤷ prettygirlpiper omg i hate u guys #bringbacktoxiccouples

⤷ perseajackson stay jealous

hazelluvsu u got this yn !! ur an amazing leader i just know all the girls in ur studio r so lucky to be working with u !!

⤷ tallesttiptoes YESS WE AREEEE

⤷ luvrgirlsteph yn my fav dancer fr !!

⤷ soyn ilysm pretty girls ‹𝟹

now playing ... new years day by taylor swift

♡ liked by perseajackson, tallesttiptoes, annie.beth, prettygirlpiper, fireboy, clarisseswrld, lightning.mcqueen and others

soyn theres glitter on the floor after the party, girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby, and i am holding onto these memories as they hold onto me- we did it !!

perseajackson words cannot explain how proud i am of u babe, i literally started crying and the guy next to me hugged me and we cried TOGETHER

⤷ soyn NO WAY NO U DID NOT

⤷ lightning.mcqueen yes he did leo and i can confirm ill send u the pics rn

⤷ soyn THIS IS GOLDEN WHAT

fireboy THAT WAS SO COOL U LOOKED LIKE A PRINCESS I WANNA DO BALLET

⤷ soyn BETTTT LEO U GOT THAT

⤷ prettygirlpiper ohmygod i cannot wait to see how this ends

annie.beth U GUYS DID SO WELL IT WAS AMAZING !!

⤷ hazelluvsu my jaw was literally on the floor to whole time ꃋᴖꃋ

⤷ letsbefrank drop the leg day routine cause HOW

⤷ soyn STOPPP ILY GUYS SM (˃̣̣̥ᴖ˂̣̣̥)

© ssparksflyy ┊ ur user was inspired by so high school n so american - like if you put my name in it would be 'sobells' yk?? yk.

[lillysdreaminnn]

Labyrinth.

Labyrinth; introduction.

Pairing; aaron hotchner x fem!oc

Words; 2.2k

Summary; Ivy got accepted to fill the empty place in the behavioural analysis unit - what she's been after her whole life - and meets her boss and colleagues for the first time.

Warnings; swearing, Derek being Derek, JJ being a little shit here and there (but we love her 🫶🏻), not proofread, i suck at warnings that's all ive got :)

A/n; hi! I decided to post my fic on here too! You can also find it on wattpad under the name Oceanbringerr (my dad picked it out 💀). It's my first fic 🫢 comments and reblogs are heavily appreciated and I hope you enjoy 🫶🏻🫶🏻

"So, do you think I'm hired?" Ivy muttered, fixing her blazer for what seemed to be the fifteenth time. April just shot her a glare, basically scolding her.

 "Okay babe; relax. You've been after this your whole life. You got this, I promise you honey." April tried to reassure her sister once again, watching her mess with her outfit more - messing it up even more.

 "Ivy, I swear to fucking God if you mess with your blazer one more time I will murder you." Violet, the eldest of the family, yelled as she shot up from her spot on Ivy's bed. She stormed over to her sister, forcefully fixing the blazer and top.

 "You're beautiful, honey." She said, a lot calmer this time. "I don't want him to employ me just because I'm beautiful." Ivy scoffed at her two sisters, putting her hair up in a slick ponytail, wanting to seem as serious as she felt about all this.

"So you haven't even met your boss yet?" Violet asked, popping a piece of chocolate in her mouth after she sat back down on Ivy's - once - perfectly made bed.

 "No, not yet. I only met section chief Erin Strauss... She seemed... Fine?" Ivy said with a soft laugh, turning back to her sisters who shot her a thumbs up. "Anyway, I have to go. Don't eat all of these, your date will go perfectly fine, plus you have seven more hours to stress about it." The girl snatched the chocolate away from her sister, smiling as Violet whined like a child.

 "Fine. Have fun!" The oldest sister called out after the youngling - in Violet's very words - as she ran out the door.

 Blasting some music in her car, Ivy was quick to arrive at the bureau. She took a moment to herself, staring at the building in complete and utter awe, telling herself that she finally made it. After all those years of pure blood, sweat and tears - maybe even literally - she was finally there.

 Taking a deep breath, she put her name-tag on and walked inside the huge building with a box of her stuff. She was greeted by the usual lovely agents she always passed as she made her way to the elevators, pressing the number eight.

 "Hold the doors!" A voice called out, making Ivy put her hand between the doors to keep them from shutting. Once the sensor got her hand, the doors re-opened, revealing a tall, strong man.

 He's handsome. Ivy thought to herself, smiling politely at him.

 "Thank you." He smiled at her, holding a cup of coffee in his left hand. "You're new here?" He asked Ivy, making her look up at him. "Uh, not exactly. I've just been promoted to the behavioural analysis unit." She said with a smile.

 She thought she was bragging, but she had every right to; she had been chasing after this her entire life.

 The man smiled, making Ivy smile a little wider too. "So you're the new recruit, huh? Nice to meet you, I'm Derek Morgan." He introduced himself, making Ivy almost drop her stuff. Of course she had heard of Derek Morgan. Who hadn't?

 The specialist on obsessional crimes.

 "It's very nice to meet you, Derek." Ivy offered him another friendly smile, since she was holding a pretty heavy box in her arms. "I take it you're meeting Hotch today." He laughed a little at Ivy's worried expression.

 "Yup." She nodded, her polite smile never faltering. "He's not as scary as he seems. He likes to play it tough, but he's very nice." Derek said as the two walked out of the elevators and into the bullpen.

"Good luck and welcome to the team, agent." Derek said with a small smile as he walked to his desk, leaving Ivy lost.

 "Staircase, first door to your right." A girly voice called from next to her, making her head snap towards the blonde woman next to her. Finally a familiar face.

 "Hi JJ." Ivy smiled, wrapping her free arm around the girls waist, as she hugged Ivy back with a similar smile. "Hi honey. Let me take you to Hotch, he's been quite stressed as well." JJ said with a laugh, leading Ivy to their boss's office.

 She knocked on the door and waited for the green light, so they could walk inside. When they did get the green light, JJ opened the door, Ivy standing behind her like a lost child.

 "Hey, Hotch. Look who's here." JJ said, making the man look up from his papers, a subtle scowl on his face. The scowl disappeared when his eyes landed on the terrified girl behind JJ.

 Jesus Christ, man up Ivy. You're a full blown FBI agent, for fuck's sake.

 "You must be agent Monroe." Said Hotch, as he got up from his chair, stretching his hand out to Ivy, who gladly gave him a handshake with a smile.

 "It's very nice to meet you, sir." She said, using both hands to hold her box again. JJ had left the two be, shutting the door behind her as well. Hotch motioned for Ivy to sit, which she did after putting her box next to her feet.

 "Strauss told me all about you and your achievements and I have to admit; I'm surprised. In the best way, of course." Hotch said looking down at some files and then back up at Ivy.

 He's stressed.

 The files on his desk had nothing to do with Ivy and she knew it. He looked down because of the awkwardness in the room, which didn't take a profiler to notice.

 "Thank you, sir. I'm very honoured to be here." She said, a small smile on her face as well. Derek told her Hotch looked - and she quotes - 'scary' but to her he seemed just fine. Maybe a little intimidating, but that's about it.

 After a very in depth talk about the job and some of Ivy's accomplishments, Ivy was cleared to go set up. With a polite handshake, she picked up her box and started heading out, when Hotch's voice stopped her.

 "Oh and please; call me Hotch. We're collegues now."

 Ivy smiled and nodded, mumbling a soft 'bye' as she shut the door behind herself. She made her way down to the bullpen and found the desk Hotch had told her about, placing her box on it and sighing. She took a moment to look around, smiling to herself.

 "Meeting with the boss went well?" Derek's voice rang out of nowhere, making Ivy slightly jump. "You're jumpy for an FBI agent." He joked, making Ivy laugh. "I'm not gonna fight that." She chuckled, staring to set up on her desk.

 "Need any help?" Derek offered and before a woman scoffed with a laugh, "Let the poor girl set up her stuff before you start flirting." A woman with raven black hair said, laughing a little.

 Damn, why's everyone so fine in here?

 "Hey, I wasn't flirting! I was just... offering a helping hand to the newbie." Derek defended himself, making the woman laugh again as she shook her head. "Don't mind him, he's a flirt but a really nice guy. Hi, I'm Emily Prentiss." Emily stretched a hand out to Ivy.

 Ivy gladly shook her hand while politely smiling at her. "Nice to meet you, Emily, I'm Ivy." She said, making Emily smile as well.

 "Very pretty name." Emily chuckled, making Ivy's cheeks turn a dusty pink. "Thank you." Ivy said with a smile, staring to set up her stuff on her desk.

 Derek was sat in his spinny chair while Emily was standing, both watching the younger agent set up her office. "Do you need anything?" Ivy laughed awkwardly, as the two agents basically ogled at her. "Sorry, you just look so much like JJ..." Derek said, sounding as confused as he looked.

 "We're second cousins." Ivy laughed, stopping her movements so she could look at the two with an amused smile. "Oh my God! You're the Ivy she talks about!" Emily realised, pointing a finger at Ivy, who was horribly trying to hold back her laughter.

 "That's me" She said, motioning to herself.

 "I pictured you a redhead." Emily mumbled, mainly to herself, but Ivy heard and chuckled.

 "It's the name."

 "It's the DC villain."

 "Maybe both."

 "Both." Both women nodded, a similar grin on their faces.

 Derek just sat confused, watching the two women talk as if they had known each other for ages. "I'm very confused." He commented, mumbling to himself, "You look confused." Emily pointed out as Derek scoffed jokingly.

 "I do not." He defended himself.

 "Why's Derek confused?" A tall, scrawny boy asked as he walked by, sitting across Ivy's desk. God damnit, he's cute too.

 "Oh fuck you."

 Ivy could only laugh at the sibling-like interaction between Emily, Derek and the boy - who seemed awfully young to be witnessing such horrors the BAU saw daily. "Because; Spencer, this is Ivy. The cousin JJ always talks about." Emily introduced, making Spencer nod with a side smile.

 "JJ talks about you very often. I always pictured you a redhead, though." Spencer said with a chuckle, making Ivy smile. He was indeed very cute.

 "Well, I'm obviously a blonde. But I've been thinking about changing it up a li-"

 "Don't even finish that sentence missy." JJ's voice called out suddenly, making Ivy groan. "Why do you always spawn so randomly? Does the universe put money in the slot or something?" Ivy mumbled, making Derek laugh subtly.

 "Ivy, you remember how it went last time you tried to dye your hair." JJ laughed, sitting on her cousin's desk with a smile eerily identical to Ivy's, who just smiled softly and looked down to her feet.

 "How'd it go?" Emily asked with a curious smile.

 "Miss Monroe here had greenish hair for like a month." Ivy shot her cousin a glare, trying to hold back her own laughter. Eventually she gave in and started laughing as well, shaking her head a little.

 "Yeah okay, it was a disaster. Something went wrong with the dye and I ended up with green hair." Ivy explained, everyone laughing at the mental picture of their new friend with green hair.

 Ivy continued setting up her desk while chatting with the rest of the team, getting to know them better. Ny the end of their shifts, they had done their work and even tried to help Ivy but she wouldn't let them.

 "Go home, Emily." Ivy said with a laugh as Emily sighed in defeat. "Fine. But text me when you get home." The raven haired woman said, patting Ivy's shoulder as a goodbye gesture.

 It was nine when Emily left, leaving Hotch and Ivy alone.

 Two hours later, Hotch exited his office, seeking some caffeine to keep him up for the ridiculous amount of paperwork he had for some reason, when he spotted his new agent. "She's still here?" He mumbled to himself, surprised that Ivy was there.

 He shrugged it off and made his way to the coffee machiene, deciding to leave the girl be for now. That was all out the window when he saw the exhaustion in her face when she lifted her head from her paperwork to sip her own coffee.

 So he decided to be a good boos and check on her.

 "Hey, Monroe. You alright?" He asked, reaching her desk.

 Ivy looked up from her files and smiled at Hotch, nodding her head. "Yeah, I just want to get these out of the way so I have less for tomorrow." She said with a soft smile, making Hotch smile too.

 She's interesting.

 "What are you still doing here?" Ivy asked back, as Hotch sighed and rubbed his eyes, "Chief duties." He said with a faint smile, making Ivy giggle. "It's eleven at night." Ivy pointed out, a soft smile on her face.

 "Your point?"

 "It's too late to work."

 "You're working too."

 "Not for long." Ivy smirked, tapping her pen shut and putting her hair up, "I'm officially done with these, plus if I stay an other minute awake I actually think I'll go crazy." She chuckled, taking the thick stack of files in her arms.

 "I'll take them to my office, don't worry about it; go home." Hotch said, putting the full coffee mug down on Ivy's desk as he reached for the papers. "It's fine, Hotch, honestly." Ivy tried to stop him, but he insisted.

 "You look exhausted, Monroe. Leave those to me and go rest." Ivy gave up and sighed with a smile, "Fine." She passed the files over to Hotch, who easily held them up with one hand while Ivy needed both.

 Damn.

 Ivy sighed and put her coat on, placing her bag over her shoulder. She finished off her coffee and threw away the papercup, while making sure she got everything she needed. Once she gathered the last of her things, she walked to the doors about to leave when a voice called out to her.

 "Goodnight Monroe." Hotch's voice called out, not even looking at her as he opened the door to his office.

 "Goodnight Hotch." Ivy chuckled, shaking her head as she walked to the elevators, calling it a day finally.

[poeticallyspiteful]

how things change (prologue)

ethan landry x reader

angst-y??

cw: not canon compliant, like at all, torture, stabbing, blood, broken bones, guns, murder, torture, a lot of blood, use of ‘slut’, so much is happening here, possibly really bad writing

summary: your sweet, loving, perfect boyfriend comes from a family of killers—and here’s hoping they don’t kill you.

notes: so lowkey i wanna make a mini series about ethan landry and his girlfriend after the ghost face attacks (wayne and quinn were the only killers and they tried to frame ethan because the plot 🥰) so here’s a lil prologue!!

you were dying. like actually fucking dying.

you really thought you had more time than this; like, at least another fifty or so before you died in a very unspectacular, normal way.

but here you were, dying at 18 years old in one of the most cinematically stunning ways known to man: with a knife in your back, clawing your way through a puddle of your own blood to save your boyfriend’s life.

what a lovely tragedy.

just as your bloodied, shaking fingers nearly reached the gun on the floor, a black boot kicked it out of the way.

“not so fast, bitch.” quinn stomped on your hand and you bit back a sob as you felt more than a few bones crush; ouch. “you’re not getting away alive. you are a lesson for my traitor of a brother.”

quinn picked up the gun and stalked away, over to where ethan sat. oh, poor ethan: tied to a chair, shaking with tears, screaming through a gag.

in true horrifying fashion, quinn had made him watch for hours as she tortured you: cuts, burns, bruises, broken bones—she really gave you the works. ethan’s voice was raw from screaming, begging her to stop, and eventually, she did.

then she stabbed you.

which wasn’t great.

you swallowed, looking at your surroundings, searching for literally anything that you could beat her over the head with. but the longer you kept your head up, the more the room spun and blurred.

you almost gave up—after all, you were so tired, and maybe if you just closed your eyes, you’d pass on relatively peacefully. well, more peaceful than if you let quinn stab you again.

that’s when you came to an unfortunate realization.

“oh fuck me,” you muttered, whining quietly as you forced yourself to reach behind you and wrench the knife out with a suppressed gasp.

sweet lord almighty, it almost felt worse coming out than going in.

your eyes shot over to quinn, who was too busy with her villain monologue to hear your whimpers, or the sound of your nails scrapping on the wall as you struggled for leverage. you held the knife with your least injured hand, pulled yourself to your feet and carefully, quietly, limped up behind her.

“and now your precious little slut is dead too,” quinn spat, wiping a drop of blood off of her cheek as if it was a bead of sweat.

you wondered if that was your blood.

or tara’s.

or sam’s.

or chad’s—

without a moments hesitation, you raised the knife in fury, driving it into her back with as much force as you could. as she choked gasping for air, you yanked it out and watched her fall to the floor.

“surprise.”

[annisassintchaska]

You Shall Pay For It: Toto Wolff x Black!Caribbean!Reader

TW: Reader is 29 years old.

Working for MERCEDES AMG PETRONAS F1 TEAM always has its ups and down. There are days when the team does extremely well, and days when things go extremely south; it was how well they learnt and upgraded from their mistakes, that made the team as strong and dominant as it is today. The blood, sweat and tears from hard work and dedication that has given the wanted results.

Today is just like any other day in the paddock where drivers are getting ready for the race here in Singapore. The drivers are in their cars waiting for the green light. The race started and the drivers and defending and overtaking one another, fighting for the top position and hoping to get a pole while pushing each other to perform to the best of their abilities as always.

Unfortunately for George, he made a mistake that caused him to DNF close to the end of the race. The whole Mercedes garage was in shambles as they tried to console a disappointed Russell as they completely ignored the fact that Lewis had gained a pole, crossing the finish line in third place. The whole celebration went on, yet no one from the entire garage came out to congratulate him. The Ferrari and McLaren engineers realized his loneliness and decided to give him a hug. He went onto the podium and celebrated without any support from his team and seeing this caused Toto's wife to become livid at how he was treating his driver that literally made the team what it is today.

Walking into the garage, she stormed straight for Lewis. "Hey schatzi, how are y-" Toto cut himself off after his wife pushed him out the way. "Hi Lew, congratulations on your podium, I'm so happy for you! You did amazing out there!" Y/n cheered on the older man as she gave him a tight hug. "Thank you Mrs. Wolff, I did my best" Lewis blushed at the sudden admiration. "No worries here, you did just great for me and I appreciate it, unlike SOME PEOPLE!" Y/n emphasized as she stared down her husband. "As for you Mr. Wolff, weh di bumboclatt yuh feel like yaah do?! di man a work fi yuh fi how much years now and dis is how yuh treat him? yuh pussyclaat never deserve fi get nuh win den yuh dutty jankrow, move outta mi face man!" Y/n cursed in her native language walking off to the office and slamming the door, which had the whole paddock in silence since they had never heard her speak it before.

The rest of the day went by as no one spotted the previously angry woman until it was time for them to leave, she walked ahead of her husband as they came to a stop in front of the car. "Give me the keys" y/n demanded as Toto passed them over without question, thinking that she just wanted to be the one to drive; therefore was shocked to find that she entered the car and locked him out before starting the car and rolling down the window. "What are you doing leblieng, open the door?" he pleaded but it fell on deaf ears as she replied. "No, you embarrassed me today and you'll pay for it. You are not welcomed into the car and definitely not at home. You will find somewhere else to sleep that ISN'T a hotel or motel until you can apologize" before driving off and leaving him in the parking lot confused and basically homeless. The media had managed to get the footage and the entire F1 community is in chaos trying to figure out what he did wrong.

For a whole week, Toto had to be sleeping inside his office and using the shower in the change room to freshen up as he and other team members, including Lewis and George try to figure out what was to be corrected. Each day, Y/n would show up to the paddock and completely ignore her husband as she interacted with everyone but him, making him sad and almost in tears. "Schatzi, please tell me what I did wrong? I promise to fix it immediately, for whatever reason I've been wrong I'm sorry!" Toto wailed as he fell to his knees in the middle of the paddock where everyone could see the crying man who now looks like a child being scolded. Y/n looked down at the man she called her husband, contemplating before she decided to finally enlighten him. "You have been very wrong for what you did over the weekend. The way you treated Lewis was awful and I am expecting you to apologize. right here. right now." she said in all seriousness as the whole paddock watched on in shock.

"Lewis, I know I didn't congratulate you on your win and it may have seemed like I didn't care due to me addressing the issue with George, but I am really proud of you. you always do your best and aim for the highest and that makes me proud to be your team principal" Toto said, tears pouring down his face in shame that he did such act without realising. "I forgive you Toto, I know that you meant no harm and honestly I might have made the same mistake if I was in your shoes." Lewis responded as y/n motioned for Toto to stand.

Everyone went back to their regular job, of course cameras were still live as the married couple interacted for the first time. "Now you listen here Torger, both drivers are equal and should be treated as such. What happened was George's mistake therefore Lewis shouldn't have had to pay for it. the next time this happens, you will be added to the burial list, you understand me?" Y/n asked getting an immediate reply "yes ma'am. does this mean we are on good terms again? I really want to hug you and come home the end of the day?" Toto asked carefully not to piss her off again in case his punishment wasn't over. Surprisingly Y/n held her arms open for him to walk into, the couple embracing as the crowd awed and cheered at them, glad that Toto was finally in the clear.

[chefkids]

Knife Theory

This is the third part of the Spoon-Fork-Knife Theory  that I believe makes up the main themes of the whole series and each season. Make sure to read The Spoon Theory and The Fork Theory too.

Carmy was on his literal last knife, as none of them were sharp, until he found his good knife on the floor after trying Sydney's stew. Sydney spent years working at Michelin restaurants and then overworking herself and spreading herself too thin with her catering business, and this was her her last hope and push forward after failing on her dream. Carmy has been on non stop knife mode for a decade, he did not even stop to grieve his brother, he just kept working and working.

When Carmy didn't have any "spoons" or help, he hurt himself using a knife. The same thing happened to Sydney because she was over exerting herself. Both of them are used to living in full knife mode. Carmy was selling jeans and his brothers jacket just to buy meat. He was literally giving his blood, sweat, and tears for this place.

Season 1 was all about Sydney and Carmy's "knives" and having to push themselves to the limit because of their passion to try and make The Beef into something better. Sydney used her knives and overspent her energy until she hurt Richie, the person that kept getting in the way of her using her knives both literally and metaphorically, and eventually she broke down and crashed. Carmy who was already on his last knife, struggling just to keep the lights on before Sydney arrived, finally felt the burn out when she left and almost let the restaurant burn down.

At the start of Season 2, Carmy is at a somewhat peaceful and chill place where he actually has free time, and the first thing he does when he's by himself is play with a knife. He needs the chaos and he doesn't know how to exist without being on high alert and pushing his passions to their limit. He then goes and sets practically impossible standards by planning to open in 3 months. He thinks he's using his knives to push himself to greatness but at the end of it all, what he has done is created new set of problems, also known as "forks", by avoiding his responsibilities and forcing others to have to use their "knives" and "spoons" to get things done because he is absent.

Tina ends up getting Carmy's knife both literally and in terms of being the one to push herself to her passion. She was putting all her energy into helping Sydney with the menu and to trying to get Ebra to have the same drive as her. Both things that really should have been Carmy's responsibility as Syd's partner and Ebra's boss. All while Carmy is off doing whatever with whoever.

Now, in the words of Carmy: if they want a Michelin star they are going to have to care about everything, more than anything. They are going to have to push themselves to their limits and they are going to have to use their "knives" again, but if they do there will inevitably come a big crash and burn at the end when everything comes catching up to them.

Read The Spoon Theory

Read The Fork Theory

[preciouslandmermaid]

of songbirds, swords, and spice (6)

pairing: Opla!Zoro x Opla!Sanji x Fem! Reader (no use of Y/N or L/N)

tw/cw: violence/blood/mentions of slavery/threats of violence against children/mentions/implications of past abuse note: haven't written them in forever so it all feels ooc but i literally wrote this nonstop for 2 hours so...im sorry if its delirious xoxo

🏴‍☠️ read on AO3 🏴‍☠️

(masterpost)

<- (previous chapter)

Your heart swelled as Nightingale port came into view and your grip tightened around the warm, wooden railing. Nothing tasted sweeter than the fresh, briny air of home. Home, you smiled to yourself, I never thought I’d have one of those after being on the run for nine years. Your settlement in Nightingale was almost at its fifth anniversary, and with Estella’s treasure in your hands, you allowed yourself the tentative hope you’d reach the tenth anniversary someday.

Luffy fell into place beside you and said, “I can’t wait to see what Sanji cooks to celebrate.”

Your lips twitched upward and the memory of the night before lingered like warm rice wine in your veins. Sanji, asking for your favorite dish, promising to find a way to make it, and asking if you’d ever dream of staying aboard the Going Merry. Could you? More importantly, did you want to? Nami’s thoughtful, empathetic expression in the pale moonlight, her hair pastel, her eyes glimmering. Zoro smirking and calling you out for your selfless actions within the cavern. Luffy’s bright and magnetic presence. Usopp, laughing and playing with the children.

Wait. What were you thinking? You couldn’t leave Estella. You promised yourself that you’d remain by her side. She needed you. You forced your cramping fingers to relax on the railing.

“Luffy?” You swallowed.

Luffy stood with his hands interlaced behind his neck. “Uh, yeah?”

“What if you don’t become King of the Pirates? What will you do?”

You glanced at him. His dark brows furrowed as sunlight dappled through the straw hat’s weave, creating a myriad of light-born freckles on his forehead.

“Keep trying,” he finally answered with a loose shrug.

The pragmatic in you couldn’t help it – you said, “What if you die?”

Would he seriously spend his entire life trying to become King of the Pirates? Would he die for his dream? His expression softened.

“That’s kind of a morbid thought, don’t you think? He smiled. “Anyway.” He gestured to the island. “We have a delivery to make!”

“I’m home!” You called, gently dropping Mimi onto the shiny floors, and watching her prance away toward one of the side rooms. At the continued silence, you glanced back at the Straw Hats in the entryway and yelled louder, “Grandma! We’re back!”

“Uh—” Usopp peered his head around the doorframe. “Maybe she stepped out?”

“Something’s off,” you said, a trickle of sweat slid down your spine. You heard the telltale creak of Zoro gripping the handle of his blade and Sanji fell into step behind you. The harsh, white daylight poured into the main foyer in a stark rectangle silhouetted by your shadows.

BAM! The front door slammed shut. Usopp released a quick, startled scream.

Estella’s wheelchair emerged from around the corner. Your eyes jerked from her tear-stained face to the man pushing her and your lungs threatened to capsize.

“No,” you said thickly.

A tall, late middle-aged man wore a thin, drooping mustache, and his narrow lips twisted into a smarmy, self-absorbed smirk. A golden wasp brooch was pinned to the lapel of his shiny, velvety plum suit. Your mouth thickened with saliva. No, no, no. Not you.

“Nine years,” he drawled. He narrowed an eye at you, as his other eye was covered by an eye patch.

The nearby shadows moved and his men, his enforcers – his goons – slowly encircled your group, glaring, their clubs and swords brandished. Your fingers twitched. Could you use your kusarigama in time? Could you reach Estella? You needed to save her.

Clover’s distraught voice came from the top of the stairs, “Big sister!” The unknown man who held Clover in his arms pressed a knife too close to her small throat.

A flare of protectiveness ignited in your heart. “Don’t you dare touch her,” you snarled. You knew this cretin – this piece of shit, scum at the bottom of the ocean – because he was the source of your torment as a child. He was your jailer and your cage. And you knew that he wasn’t above hurting children. Clover, little Aiden, Utakuro, Ann, and Badger were all in danger.

He was Victor Wasp – an entrepreneur of great renown in specific, vile circles.

Luffy raised his fists. “Let them go!”

“Picking on elderly women and children,” Sanji said and ‘tsked’ under his breath.

Zoro chimed in, “Pathetic.”

“Nine years,” Victor continued as if none of the Straw Hats had spoken. “I’ve spent searching for you. It’s time to come home, sweet plum.” His smile was cruel.

Fuck. What were you doing?! You weren’t powerless. You weren’t a scared little kid anymore. Your skull filled with Clover’s hiccuped cries from the staircase landing. You opened your mouth. You would scream. You would sing. You would do whatever was necessary to save them.

The barrel of a gun pressed into Estella’s temple.

“Mouth shut!” Victor snapped and your teeth clicked together.

Estella cried your name. “Run,” she pleaded, “go, please!”

“I’m not leaving you.” Your throat prickled.

“Let’s not make this so dramatic,” said Victor, “it’s time for you to come home. Come home and come quietly and I’ll let everyone in the town live.”

The floor swayed beneath your feet. The town? You had to have misheard him. You opened your mouth to ask, but Zoro beat you to it.

“What the hell are you yammering about?” he asked, his tone contemptuous.

“What?” Victor laughed. “Did you think I wasn’t planning this for weeks in advance?” He clicked his tongue twice and one of his enforcers, wearing an all-black suit like the rest, wiggled a stick of dynamite in his hand. You should’ve expected that Victor Wasp would have multiple backup plans. He’d watch the whole town burn before losing his merchandise. But he had lost you, you reminded yourself, nine years you’ve been free of him. You exhaled shakily through your nostrils. That freedom had been an illusion, though. Those moments of joy, of friendship and…You thought of Sanji helping you cook, his lithe body moving through the fragrant haze of steam,...and connection, they had all been temporary. A balm to delay the inevitable.

You swallowed with difficulty. He found me. He’ll take me back.

“She’s not coming with you,” Luffy shouted, “and we’re not going to let you blow the town up!”

The Straw Hats tensed around you – preparing themselves for an all-out battle. No. No. You weren’t going to let them get hurt or killed on account of your past mistakes. Nothing else mattered but the seven-year-old girl upstairs crying for her ‘big sister’ to save her.

You placed your hand on Luffy’s wrist. “Luffy, it’s my choice, right?”

“Huh?”

“If you make me stay,” you said, “if you make me fight alongside you, then you’re taking away my choice, and you’re no better than him.”

His dark brown eyes squinted in confusion, then were cleared by a sudden understanding. Your breath caught. His capability for quick empathy was honestly disconcerting.

“You sure? We could take him on just like we took out that spider-lady,” he said with an encouraging grin.

“What are you doing?” hissed Nami.

Usopp whispered, “She’s taking the diplomatic route!”

You nodded. “If it’s my life over theirs, then I’m choosing them. There’s no question.”

Luffy lowered his fists and the rest of his crew followed his lead, but they didn’t look happy. Except for Usopp, he looked relieved.

“Make it a clean break,” said Victor, “you know how I hate a mess and my boys can handle it.”

Between the lines, you understood what Victor was asking. He wanted you to use your devil fruit power to knock everyone out so that he, his team, and you could leave without any risk of interference. A foggy cloud of suspicion and confusion fell over the Straw Hats and they looked to you for guidance. You blinked back your tears. After this, whatever budding trust existed between you would be reduced to ash.

“Don’t fight him, Luffy,” you reminded him.

“How about me?” Zoro asked, one hand on the hilt of his sword, “Can I fight him?”

“No!” You removed Pandora's box from your bag. “I’m not letting anyone die for me.” You passed the box to Luffy, who still looked incredibly confused and concerned. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, for Estella, for Nightingale.”

Your melodic voice spilled from your lungs. An old song. It was a lullaby you used to sing during thunderstorms to help little Aiden fall asleep. Zoro clamped his hands over his ears, glaring at you, as the rest of the Straw Hats – except for Luffy being immune – collapsed to the floorboards like a sack of turnips. As you expected, Victor’s bodyguards remained standing, and you guessed they were prepared with earplugs like the staff at the ‘golden cupid’.

Zoro held your gaze. He didn’t know fuck-all about what was happening, but he knew trouble when he saw it, and that prick in the purple suit? That asshole was trouble. And worse of all, you were choosing to go with him. Didn’t you trust them? Didn’t you trust Luffy? What about him? He saved your life, didn’t he? Zoro’s jaw ached from clenching his teeth. Your song ended once you stood beside Estella, your eyes shone bright with unshed tears. Dammit!

“Make sure they stay put,” the asshole said with a lackadaisical wave of his hand.

Someone grabbed Zoro’s arms and tried to pin them to his sides. He shouted his indignation and bodily shouldered the assailant away.

He shouted your name, running forward, because like hell he was going to let you just run off like that. He remembered what happened when Nami ‘ran off’. He wasn’t going to let it happen again. You might not be part of the crew, but you didn’t let go of Luffy’s hand, and that counted for something. He didn’t know what it counted for, he just knew it counted, and dammit—where the hell was he!? He spun in a half-circle. He thought he was following you.

“Zoro,” Luffy called to his back and Zoro skidded to a stop. His heart drummed inside his chest and pounded through his fingertips.

“Let her go,” he said.

“Are you serious?”

He nodded. “We can’t risk the whole town. She wouldn’t want that.” He gestured behind him to where Estella was asleep in her chair. “Estella wouldn’t want that.”

“An asshole like him was probably lying,” Zoro bit out.

He patted Zoro’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, we’ll track him down and bring her back.”

Zoro grumbled.

Sanji awoke with his face pressed into the carpet. He mumbled incoherently and dragged a hand through his hair. It was a restful, but confusing little nap. Hadn’t they all been moments away from a fight? The world blinked into focus as soft, whimpering cries surrounded him.

Crying for me? He wondered before lucidity grasped him and the memories rapidly filtered through. No, they’re crying for their songbird.

Estella wept, clutching the Pandora's box in her wrinkly, weathered hands. “I’ve gained one treasure and lost another,” she said.

Sanji slowly rose to his knees. Clover sat on the floor by Estella’s chair in Nami’s lap, with her long ebony hair neatly braided, though her face was red and sticky with snot and tears. Zoro leaned against the wall, arms crossed, scowling straight ahead. He recalled his haze at the golden cupid after the beautiful voice swept all his worries away and carried him off into a sweet, honey-dipped melody. There was something different about you. Something strange. You sang and...everyone disappeared? Everyone, except for Zoro and Luffy, looked dazed and bleary-eyed.

“Madam Estella,” Sanji's voice was hoarse, “what happened?”

“Her voice is her greatest weapon,” she said, then looked at Luffy. “It doesn’t work on other devil fruit eaters.”

“She puts people to sleep with her voice,” Zoro guessed.

“Among other things,” Estella said, her voice high and wobbly with grief.

Nami asked, “Who was that guy with the wasp brooch?”

Unfortunately, Sanji could guess – perhaps not the man’s name, but his occupation. He spoke to you like you were his property and Sanji hated him instantly. A low-life scum who threatened women and children? Sanji wished he could’ve had the chance to kick his teeth in.

The older woman shifted uncomfortably in her chair. “He was our employer,” her tone was stiff, “never got paid for a single honest day’s work.”

“You were slaves.”

“Quick girl, aren’t you?” Estella glanced meaningfully at Nami’s tattoo. She sighed, smoothing her knobby fingers over the ivory box, and said, “We were slaves until she ate the fruit and we escaped together. I should have known Victor wouldn’t give up. This is my fault. I shouldn’t have let us settle here…”

Luffy said, “It’s not your fault.”

“I will tell you our tale and you can be the judge of that, young pirate,” replied Estella.

“Victor was a man with a mean tongue and a meaner hand. He often complained of headaches, so all of his staff was commanded to be as silent as possible. You either memorized creaky floorboards or you were locked out of the house and kept in the doghouse for three nights.”

You stared up at the flags of Victor’s ship. It was a tacky design, of course, with his big hornet motif. One of his goons shoved you in the middle of your shoulder blades. You tossed a glare over your shoulder and bit into the damp gag in your mouth.

“I caught her in the study. Her face was covered in juice, and I knew at once what she had done.”

The floorboards creaked as you mounted the plank and you flinched with every groan of the great ship pulling against the ropes. The day started with hope and it would end in terror.

“She buried the box in the yard but came back to check to see if she missed anything. I yelled at her to get cleaned up before Mr. Wasp came home.”

Another one of Victor’s goons approached you, carrying a wooden pail, and you braced as the cold, sharp saltwater was dumped over your head. You blinked your eyes and glared at Victor through the blur of salty, barbed tears.

“And came home he did. The staff was questioned. He was meticulous about his things, you see. He kept a catalog of every pen, every bullet casing, and every spare berry. There was no escaping his scrutiny. He lined us all up.”

Your breath shuddered unevenly. Another bucket of water sluiced down your face and saturated your clothes. It was overkill, but it proved how nervous Victor was, and how he both despised and desired the power of your voice in equal measure.

“I lied for her. I said Victor’s son, Teddy, stole things from the study all the time to pay off his gambling debts. But, Victor didn’t believe me. He began to...to beat me in front of everyone. And my baby songbird, she opened her mouth, and screamed, and everything – everything shattered.”

Your legs kicked uselessly as they lifted you from beneath your armpits and carried you into the brig. You whipped your head back, intent on keeping Victor in your sights, and shouted muffled curses and profanities against the gag.

“Glass everywhere. Everyone screaming and clutching their ears. I couldn’t hear the words he said to her, but I saw the fear on her face, and I saw the hunger in his eyes and I knew – I knew that if I did nothing – I knew that – that – that he’d hurt her.”

BAM! Your shoulder and forehead sang with pain as they connected sharply with the wood. A flurry of stars danced in front of your vision. Your wet cheek pressed into the floor as you turned your head and peered through the iron bars at Victor’s feet. He crouched to meet your eyes.

“He is missing an eye because I took the nearest piece of glass – or pottery – or something else, I don’t know – and I struck him with it.”

Victor wordlessly lifted his eye patch to show you the scattered, mosaic scars that sealed his eyelid closed. A swell of bile surged in your throat at the memory of Estella’s bloody, slick fingers clinging to yours. He lowered the patch and stood upright, smiling.

Estella dabbed her eyes. “I took her hand and we’ve spent five years on the run, looking over our shoulders, until we found Nightingale. It was stupid for us to stay. I see that now. And now she’ll be punished for my folly.”

Sanji said quickly, “We have to save her.” He could read between the lines of Estella’s story. Victor wanted a return on his investment and wanted revenge for your actions nine years ago. There was no telling what he might do.

Zoro glared at him. “Calm down, cook. She’s not some damsel in distress waiting for a knight in shining armor.”

He glared back. “You’re not the knight in this scenario. Obviously.”

“We are going to save her,” Luffy said, stopping their argument before it began earnestly. “Tell us where they’re going and we’ll catch up to them.”

“Why?” Estella blinked.

“Because we’re pirates,” he replied simply. Her wrinkled face crumpled, deepening the lines around her mouth and eyes, before a fresh onslaught of sobs racked her frame. Sanji grabbed her soft, weathered hand.

He said, “Madam Estella, tell us everything you remember about Victor.” He gave her palm a gentle squeeze. “It’ll hopefully give us an advantage in the fight ahead.”

“We don’t need any advantages,” Zoro said, “if I stab him, he’ll bleed.”

“We haven’t seen him bleed yet,” said Usopp quietly.

[askinkiskarma]

Pairings: Neteyam x (f)Avatar!Reader x Lo'ak

Word Count: 3.5k words

Warnings/notes: angst, mentions of death and mourning, cursing, mentions of smut

Synopsis: Neteyam's death leaves more than a few wounds behind, and you and Lo'ak must find a way to navigate the aftershocks together.

A/N: well, this hurt. i love this song, and as I was listening to it one day, this idea came to me, and so here it is. i would say enjoy besties, but i feel like that's just me rubbing salt in wound. as usual, can't wait to hear your thoughts and I appreciate every reblog, like, reply, follow etc. love you besties xx

I know you hear me when I cry, I try to hold it in the night

While you're sleepin' next to me, but it's your arms that I need this time

The tent was dead silent as you entered it, a tortured sigh and the sound of muffled sniffles you tried your best to stifle, the only thing that could be heard. You almost worried for Lo’ak as you made your way to your shared mat, as he was even more engulfed in deep slumber than he usually was, no snores or breaths discernible. You found yourself reaching for his mouth and nose just to check that he was indeed still alive, the sound of your own heartbeat deafening you, your palms already coated in an increasingly thick layer of sweat that you rubbed on your thighs, as the unpleasant thought burrowed through layers of your mind until it reached the front, until the flashbacks almost took over you. 

When his breath coated your palm, you breathed a huge sigh of relief that woke your mate up, and the tears that didn’t even have time to dry from 20 minutes ago started pouring down your face again. 

“Baby, what’s the matter?” 

You didn’t know how to explain, and you knew you couldn’t even reasonably begin to try without telling him where you were, where you went every night after you were sure he was fast asleep. 

“Nothing, just had a nightmare.” 

Lo’ak sighed and opened his arms for you to fall into, and you did, clinging to him like he was your life support, and to be honest with yourself, at this moment in your life, he probably was.

“Another one, baby?” 

You felt the hole in your heart bleeding inside your chest, pooling blood in the pit your felt in your stomach, where it’s been bleeding for months, where it wouldn’t stop, not until it filled you up and spilled around you.

“… yeah. Another one.” 

Look at the cards that we've been dealt

If you were anybody else, probably wouldn't last a day

Every tear's a rain parade from hell

You loved Lo’ak. You had no words to describe how much Lo’ak meant to you, how much he has meant to you your whole life, ever since you were just a 5-fingered freak and a tiny human finding happiness and meaning in this life that seemed to clobber the both of you to the ground whenever it had the chance. You have been best friends since you were born, and you didn’t think that was ever going to change. You were grateful for him, and his presence in your life, that saved you, both literally and figuratively, multiple times throughout your 19 years of life. You were grateful for his heart, that sometimes felt like it was too big to reasonably ever fit inside his body, and his mind, that somehow never tired finding new ways to make you smile, and his own smile, that shone brighter to you right now than any star in the sky, than even the sun itself as it was engulfed by Polyphemus before Eclipse. You were grateful that he chose you as a mate, and grateful to know that, in light of everything, there was now no one else in the world you would rather embark on this life-long journey with, no one else who could even begin to understand the fucked-up mess that was your mind - partly because you and him shared in that, you shared the pain and the grief, and you were forced to navigate it together. 

You felt sleep slowly engulfing you, and you knew the nightmares wouldn’t be far behind.

Though I wish he were here instead, don't want that living in your head

He just comes to visit me when I'm dreaming every now and then

Nightmares became not only expected, but almost desired in your life, as even in nightmares, even in the worst nightmares your mind could ever possibly conjure up, at least he was still there. He was there, here, in your life, and when you touched him, and you felt him, and you heard him, it felt real, it felt better than any reality. Even the nightmares where you relieved the worst day of your life, over and over, like a twisted comic joke, still brought you some sort of sick post-hoc comfort, until the morning came, or until the dream ends, and the arms that are wrapped around you aren’t the ones you need.

The ones you needed, you left behind just a little less than an hour before, and despite it just being a vision, a metaphysical experience that would never manifest itself in the real world anymore, his warmth still lingered on your skin, his scent still flooded your nostrils, his eyes were still ever-present in front of your own, even with them tightly shut. You could feel him, like he was still here, like he used to be when you were still you and he was still him, and he was still here and he was still yours. 

“Yawne, I think we should do it. I think we should tell everyone, it’s time.” Your new blue body seemed to fit perfectly in Neteyam’s, a dream come true, it seemed, a gift from Eywa herself. To be able to be here, in this meadow, at this time, tall and supple and cerulean-skinned, without a mask to hinder you, with finally nothing in between you and the boy you’ve been in love with longer than you could remember. You received an Avatar as a present on your 18th birthday, and you’ve wanted nothing more than to spend every second of your new life with the person you could now freely be with, no biological, or physical barriers in the way, the person that occupied every thought in your mind and has explored every inch of your body, and it still didn’t feel enough. Never enough. 

“Tell them what, Teyam?” Neteyam rolled his eyes, and you smiled at the way he knew you were just making him say it out loud, because you enjoyed how the words rolled off his tongue. He’s always had an accent speaking English, just like you did when speaking Na’vi, and you found it hotter than the pits of hell, which is where you felt like you were headed sometimes when you played these kinds of games with your beloved.

“Must you always do this?” You chuckled slightly against his chest, and you tried not to focus on how the intimacy and feeling his naked body against yours, powerful and muscular was making you slightly dizzy. You will never get enough of this, and you couldn’t believe you would never have to. 

“You’re stuck with me now, you can’t reconsider after so many years, especially now that I have an Avatar.” He pulls your closer to him, which you thought was physically impossible, but he loved nothing more than to prove you wrong. The kiss on your forehead was so normal and habitual for him, for you both, and yet it didn’t stop the goosebumps travelling down your neck, or the butterflies in your stomach, or the scrambling of your thoughts. 

“I wouldn’t want to reconsider, yawne. Which brings me back to what I was saying.” You sighed, allowing yourself the chance to clear your mind of the bad feelings plaguing you, of the unshakable perspective that this wouldn’t go down well, or be accepted, or even tolerated in the clan.

You were a Sky Person, an alien. Even though you grew up with the Na’vi, that simple fact, unmovable and completely beyond your control, never changed. And even now, even in this body, the stares never stopped, and neither did the incessant chatter, about how you were still a demon, still wrong, still not fit to be around the Olo’eyktan’s children. Neytiri and Mo’at warmed up to you in time, but you knew that it was not nearly enough to matter, not enough for them to willingly accept you as Tsa’hik, which is what Neteyam wanted to make you by announcing it to everyone. 

A tender, slender finger on your chin and the slightest pressure lifting you face to meet his pulled you out of your reverie and his warm smile and intense gaze drowned out any fear immediately. It was a gift of his - and a curse for you, because you could very rarely think rationally when he looked at you like that. 

“I want to tell them. I’ve loved you for what feels like my whole life. And now I get this gift, this incredible gift, and I get to know that you will be mine forever, that we can mate before Eywa, that I get to feel tsaheylu with the only woman I’ve ever wanted to feel it with.” 

It felt surreal to you, almost like a dream, this love. This love that felt so good, that was almost too good to be true, and you wondered sometimes, fear overtaking your mind, as it always did, what would be the price you’d have to pay to balance it out. He always told you that - that nature has a balance, that life has a balance. That Eywa makes sure to reinforce that balance. Well, you were so happy, it felt like the world was pink and fluffy and weightless, and it was yours to take and he was yours to love and nothing else mattered, as long you had him. So what would be the price to pay? 

“I want to do this right, my love. I want to prove myself to your family, to your mother and to the Tsa’hik. I want to learn, I want to earn my place among the people. I want to take my Iknimaya. Once I do, we can tell them, and you can do whatever you want to me, and that’s a lifelong promise, Neteyam.”

Neteyam. Neteyam. Neteyam.

Baby, you do it so well

You been so understanding, you been so good

And I'm puttin' you through more than one ever should

And I'm hating myself 'cause you don't want to

Admit that it hurts you

“Wake up, baby… come on.” Lo’ak’s voice drowned out the wails you didn’t even realise you were letting out until it was too late to stop them, too late to pretend they were anything else but what they were. 

“It’s me, ok? You’re alright. You’re safe.” 

“Lo’ak…”

You loved Lo’ak. So much. And the hatred you felt for yourself every time he had to pull you out of a nightmare about his brother, every time you found yourself wishing it was him instead, every time you wondered how your life would have turned out if Neteyam never left you, it ate at your soul, gnawing at the already bleeding edges of the hole in your chest. He deserved better, you know he did. And yet he stayed, and he loved you, because despite everything, you both knew there was no one else, not for either of you. The trauma bonded you, it made sure you were made for each other, like two pieces of a messed up puzzle. 

As ironic as that sounds, maybe that’s why you never mated before Eywa. Because of the past, and the trauma, because in truth, despite not saying it out loud, it scared the shit out of both of you. Because you both knew deep down that there are things you can’t recover from and some truths better left unspoken, and feeling each other’s emotions and desires, your deepest fears and fantasies, at least right now, would be the one step too many, one step in the wrong direction, one step off a cliff. 

“You went to see him, didn’t you?” You felt heat rise in your cheeks at being caught red-handed. All you managed was a meek nod. 

“You always have nightmares when you see him.” There was a heavy silence that enveloped the room, but eventually, Lo’ak sighed and continued. “…How is he?” 

It was your turn to sigh. 

“He’s good. He’s… Neteyam. He misses you. He talks about you all the time, wonders why he hasn’t seen you in a while.” 

Lo’ak’s frown was visible even under the cover of darkness, and you knew you should drop it, but you couldn’t - not when you knew he’d regret it, he’d hate himself even more than he already does if he doesn’t find a way to be there for his brother, to see him, to allow himself a way to move on from the guilt that plagues him everyday. 

“I will. Just been busy with training, with strategising meetings, with my dad. But I will.” You didn’t tell him how you knew he was lying since you saw Jake there almost every time you went, and even if you didn’t, Neteyam told you about how often his dad came by and all the little chats they have. 

“Ok. You know best. I just think you should go before it’s too late.” Lo’ak scoffed, annoyed with you as he rose, legs crossed in front of him, a hard expression on his face. 

“Too late for what?! It’s already too fucking late.” 

“Too late to say you’re sorry.”

The flickers of light peering through the weaves of your tent reflected in his eyes as the tears flooded them, and you felt so sad for Lo’ak, and so sad for yourself, so sad for all the pain that didn't seem like it would ever be healed.

“He doesn’t fucking remember anything anyway. How am I supposed to apologise to him if he doesn’t even remember what happened? What’s even the point of it all?”

His tears hit your skin as he shook his head and let them out, and you reached for his face, brushing what was left of them with your thumb.

“You could still apologise. Not because he would remember, but because you need to. Because the guilt will kill you if you don’t. Because he’s your brother, and he loves you, and he misses you. Because you miss him too. Because this way, the last memory you have of him doesn’t have to haunt you forever.”

“It should haunt me forever. I ruined everything. His life, my family’s life… your life. I’m not an idiot. I know you loved him, and he loved you. I know if you had a choice, it would have been him.”

 

I know that it breaks your heart when I cry again over him,

I know that it breaks your heart when I cry again intead of ghostin' him

Lo'ak's words shocked you. You never got the chance to tell his family, or the clan, in the end. You never got the chance to make him yours, and he never got the chance to feel the mating bond, the one thing he wanted to so badly. He never got the chance to be a father to your children, the way you used to dream about together, he never got the chance to raise a family with all the lessons he had learnt from his own parents growing up. He would never enter your bedroom again, banging his head against the frame of the door that was way too tiny for his 9 foot tall body, smiling as he always did when he spotted you reading by the foot of the bed. You would never get the chance to teach him a new English slang you learnt from a show, or play him a song you learnt on guitar, or allow him to rest his head on your lap, watching as his tail moved erratically in a display of pure, incandescent happiness. Your Iknimaya came and went, and he wasn’t there to witness it, or cheer you on, and you would never get to fly together on your ikran, never get the chance to share so many moments you reserved just for him, that you now had to live without, that you now had to wish away into the ether, and let it go, alongside your dreams and hopes, alongside the future you always wanted and you will never be able to have. 

All you had were glimpses, flashes of light in the dark, whenever you saw him in visions the tree blessed you with, where he was still there, and he was still him and you were still you, where you still had him and your life was still alright, if only for a little while.

“I can’t wait for your ceremony, you know?” Your back was flush against his chest, and you loved the warmth that irradiated off of it. it felt so real, just like it used to when it was real. He has always been your own personal sun, something you made sure to tell him as often as you could, and you couldn’t help wonder if this is why your body’s been cold since he left. Like the actual sun could never achieve what he did, like no other body could, like nothing could. You hummed mindlessly, allowing the breeze to touch your skin, just like his kisses up and down your neck did. In here, he didn’t know that he died. He would never know. In here, everything was all right, everything was serene and calm, everything was just the way it should be. The last time he visited the tree was a happy time, and you were so happy that was the last thing he remembers, the last thing he always would. He would never had to know the pain of death again, and knowing his smile would be forever captured in here, just like his spirit that was evergreen and so, so beautiful was, it was the only thing that allowed you to go on. As long as he was alright, and he was happy, you could still sleep at night. 

“Is it just because we finally get to have sex in front of the Tree of Souls or…?” You said with a chuckle and his lips detached from your neck, and you could just about picture his frown, just about picture the roll of his eyes and the little pout he always had on whenever you said something that was so widely outrageous in his mind.

“Yawne…” 

“I’m kidding, jeez! I can’t wait either. I can’t wait to be yours forever.” At least in here, you could always pretend. In here, you could, for a little while, entertain a fantasy, allow it to pass through you, allow yourself the happiness you’ll never know again. He tightened his grip on you and you felt his breath on your hair and a small kiss at the top of your head.

“You’re already mine forever. You’ll always be mine, and I’ll always be yours.” 

You couldn’t stop the tears that rolled down your cheeks on onto his arms, or the words that followed. “I’ll always be yours, and you’ll always be mine.” 

We'll get through this, we'll get past this, I'm a girl with a whole lot of baggage

But I love you, we'll get past this, I'm a girl with a whole lot of baggage

It was your turn to console Lo’ak as he was crying with his head in his hands, and knowing the pain he must be going through, the pain in which you shared, it struck a chord in you that seemed to wake you up a little, that allowed you out of your constant dreams and nightmares, of your visions and forsaken desires and focus on him, and watch him, and see him. 

“I know this isn’t what you wanted, ok? I know that it’s not your ideal scenario and I’m sorry. I’m more sorry than you’ll ever know that it’s my fault you and Neteyam will never get to be together. It kills me, the pain and the guilt, it eats at me every day and I -“ you shut him up with a kiss, that felt warm and needed, that promised to at least try to mend some wounds in your soul. 

“Stop. You know it’s not your fault. And if you don’t, then that’s why I’m here. To show you. And reassure you that I love you, and that Neteyam loved you, and neither of us would ever blame you. I’m here to keep you sane, just like you’re here to keep me sane. And it’s fucked up, and it’s weird sometimes and the guilt I feel is just as strong as the one you feel, but we’ll make this work. Because I love you. Ok?” 

You loved Lo’ak. And you knew he loved you, too. And while it wasn’t how you imaged your life to turn out, you knew your happiness had always been Neteyam’s priority. And at least for him, you’d try to find at least the shadow of it again, and you knew the best place to look for it was in your new mate’s light. 

taglist: @fanboyluvr

[blissfulfandomingmess]

Bridgerton Season 3 Is Completely Out - Here's My Thoughts (Not Spoiler Free!)

I never expected myself to become a sucker for Bridgerton yet here we are. It started after promotion for Season 3 began earlier this year. They began to drop the snippets, specifically the infamous "your eyes are the most remarkable shade of blue" scene. So, as soon as these scenes dropped, I felt some appeal. However, Nicola Coughlan and Luke Newton really PULLED me into the trap. The PR and their genuine friendship brought me so much comfort and idealization. I still feel like an imposter in this fandom as I haven't watched the show from beginning to end. I'm hesitant to start it. I've already found myself being emotionally attached to these characters and their actors. It's formed a hyperfixation so that's a great new addition to my shelf of many fixations. But with that comes, a lot of dread to start a series in fear of me disliking their characters in previous seasons or feeling no appeal to other characters. I don't want to be that person.

Yet I still watched Season 3. I may not know every character and have a basic rundown of what's happened in previous seasons but I've enjoyed what I've seen. The first part of Season 3 focused on establishing the friends-to-lovers phenomenon between Colin and Penelope. Some aspects felt rushed but to me, it was pretty well done. However, when it comes to covering a book, there should definitely be more aspects of the book included. Many things were excluded, some for completely valid reasonings and others that didn't make sense. As many of the dearest gentle readers watched the second half of the season, many have echoed the same disappointment. Where was his declaration of love from the books? Why was there more anger than happy scenes? Why did they seem to skip many events from the book adaption?

Before we delve into this deeper, if you haven't read the original book (Romancing Mister Bridgerton: Penelope & Colin's Story by Julia Quinn), this is what we as a fandom are referring to:

“I love you,” he said, his voice low and fervent. “I love you with everything I am, everything I've been, and everything I hope to be.” “I love you with my past, and I love you for my future.” He bent forward and kissed her, once, softly, on the lips.

In many ways, we technically got something similar to this towards the end of Episode 8 but most longtime readers and watchers were looking forward to this moment. Not only that but the almost reversed sequence of events. However, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. After all, this is a live-action adaption of the novelization. The novelization will forever reign superior.

Stlll, Luke and Nicola brought these characters to life with their blood, sweat, and tears. You can see through their art how serious and important these characters are to them. I think it's fair to say that I cannot wait to see them in future seasons, even though, they will no longer be the leads. I think that's another reason I dreaded the end of this season. I've enjoyed all the press, interviews, photoshoots, and friends made along the way.

To finish this off, I would like to applaud Nicola Coughlan and Luke Newton. Not only did they provide us with happiness and joy but they showed their close friendship, highlighting their immense respect for each other. You don't see things like this in this business often. Of course, they played into some aspects of the PR but their friendship was never PR despite sites like DeuxMoi wanting to claim.

And with that dearest gentle readers, this is where we part. Not literally but this season has been an amazing journey for us all. I can't wait to see what the future has in store. I hope and pray that Nicola and Luke remain friends through all hate and rumors, as well. This won't be the last you hear of my Bridgerton ranting and rambling as I hope to actually start from beginning to end. I hope you all enjoyed this season as much as I have, even with some of the hurdles with the second half.

[sohardlovingyou]

in honor of midnight's two year anniversary, do you have a list of how you'd divide the album into john-songs and paul-songs? would love to know your thoughts! <3

Oh, I don't have a list but I can make one right now! I don't care about my job that much, lol

This is interesting because I think Midnights (alongside Rep) is the least mclennon Taylor album, buuuuuut it does have songs that individually are a lot like both of them so let's see

John songs:

Maroon: this is one of the few songs that I think are mclennon, but specifically I think it's very John pov re: 1968 NYC Apple trip. (heartbreaking, I know)

Anti-Hero: This one is self-explanatory, really. I cried on a train the first time I listened to it because it was so John-coded that it made me sad he was never going to hear it ):

The Great War: this is like Jealous Guy 2.0 (with the caveat that he was an idiot and Taylor is a princess)

Dear Reader: As my beloved @idontwanttospoiltheparty once told me, John was not self-aware enough to write something this intimate BUT I can't hear "you wouldn't take my word for it if you knew who was talking" and "You should find another guiding light, but I shine so bright" without thinking about him, so #JohnCoded

Hits Different: Again, self-explanatory. Probably top 3 most John coded Taylor songs. "I picture you with other girls in love, and threw up on the street" is sooooo baby mclennon it makes me giggle. And "Dreams of your hair and your stare and sense of belief in the good in the world, you once believed in me" is SO SO SO John thinking about Paul that it makes me want to rip my heart out of my chest. But then she says "or have they come to take me away?" and i get sad for both of them.

Paul songs:

You're On Your Own, Kid: If I didn't find looking for video clips so tedious, I would have made a post-breakup Paul edit with that bridge because o m g. "I gave my blood sweat and tears for this" It's literally Get Bak Paul, and it makes me go insane thinking about it. "I looked around in a blood-soaked gown and I saw something they can't take away" they're both thinking about music, aren't they? Anyway, he was on his own and he DID face it.

Question...?: Taylor is so nonchalant and chill in this song that the fact that she's fucking furious almost flies right above your head. And Idk, it reminds me of the way Paul wrote Too Many People and Dear Boy. I wish I was better at explaining this but hopefully, you'll get it. "Does it feel like everything is second best after that meteor strike?" is so petty, lmao, it just gives: you'll NEVER replace me as your soulmate, cry about it (it works both ways tho).

Vigilante Shit: I just think he should have sung it about Klein doing the Eras Tour choreography.

Karma: I'm just adding it for the same reason as Vigilante Shit. "My pennies made your crown". "Ask me why so many fade and I'm still here", it's also self-explanatory.

Mastermind: The first time I heard "I've been scheming like a criminal ever since to make them love me and make it seem effortless" and "I'm only cryptic and Machiavellian 'cause I care" I gasped and went "PAUL!", so make of that what you will. Like, it's just him in song form. Also, baby Paul following John around before they officially met, and then pretending he has to think about being in his band lmao. "Checkmate, I couldn't lose" indeed.

✨MCLENNON BONUS✨

I couldn't finish this without mentioning that Midnights has a song that's literally called PARIS!!! And I have said this before but I think it's just John trapped in a hotel room in 1966 thinking about them going back there, and then THEY DID! (Paul ruined it but whatever).

[sethshead]

"Edward Said in an interview with Ari Shavit:

"[Q] 'In a binational state, the Jews will quickly become a minority, like the Lebanese Christians.'

"[A]'... the Jews are a minority everywhere. They are a minority in America. They can certainly be a minority in Israel.'

"[SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!???]

"[Q] 'Knowing the region and given the history of the conflict, do you think such a Jewish minority would be treated fairly?

"[A] 'I worry about that. The history of minorities in the Middle East has not been as bad as in Europe, but I wonder what would happen. It worries me a great deal. The question of what is going to be the fate of the Jews is very difficult for me. I really don't know. It worries me.' [-]

"[Q]'So what you envision is a totally new situation in which a Jewish minority would live peacefully within an Arab context?'

"[A] 'Yes. I believe it is viable. A Jewish minority can survive'

"So Said is basically saying to Jews, 'You're used to being a powerless minority. Why can't you stay that way?' How did being a minority work out for Lebanese Christians?

"In case people don't know Lebanon had been created to be a Christian state (Christians had been under French protection for almost 1000 years).

"Admittedly the influx of Palestinians starting in 1948 upset the religious/ethnic balance between Muslims and Christians in Lebanon which need to the bloody, 15-year Lebanese Civil War which decimated the economy and led to the large scale emigration of Lebanese Christians and the implantation of foreign actors like Iran via Hizbullah into their government. Before all this it has been that most prosperous and socially free country in the Middle East. Now Christians make up approximately 30% of Lebanon and the place is basically run by Hizbullah. The economy is in shambles and last I heard their currency was literally worthless and people were dealing with real food insecurity.

"Why should Jews sign up for that? Only people with no mind of self esteem or self respect would be ok with returning to a position of weakness after attaining a position of strength after much blood, sweat and tears. And all this just to be nice? Oh, FUCK NO!

"This all goes back to people expecting Jews to be self-effacing supplicants. THIS IS WHY I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE SELF-DEPRECATING HUMOR THAT PEOPLE THINK OF AS A BADGE OF HONOR IN THE JEWISH COMMUNITY. PEOPLE WILL REALLY BELIEVE THIS AND ACT ON IT.

"It's kind of like people who say segregation wasn't so bad. Who does that benefit? Not you, that's for sure..."

h/t Malaika Mrtn

[thegeminisage]

UGGGHHH ok its star trek update time, Special Deep Space Nine Finale Edition

did not love the finale. mostly this comes down to two things 1. pacing bad 2. everybody's ending sucked

pacing problem: the pah wraiths came in at the last second, AFTER the big space battle was all done. it really feels like they should have been directly involved with the battle somehow, like that time sisko vaporized all those spaceships. also, speaking of that, wasn't not getting to rest on bajor his trade for making that happen? yet it didn't get brought up at ALL. ok. more on that later. anyway, the pah wraith thing seemed like a fucking afterthought, which was crazy considering we had winn and dukat scheming and plotting for all those episodes. one would expect the pah wraiths to be like. actually let out. to Do Something. to be scary. we have been building up to this! and yet. nothing happened. a lot of other plots were also wrapped up way too quickly - ezri's romance with julian, miles leaving, etc - but that's more a problem with the endings being bad - they did not have time to build up to what they decided on, or maybe they did and just chose not to utilize it wisely

endings - going thru this character by character

SISKO: this is of course is the very worst offender. avery brooks spent 7 years putting blood sweat and tears into a positive portrayal of a black father only to be contractually obligated to act out a deadbeat dad plot in the 11th hour? man, no wonder he was pissed. there was also no explanation of WHY he had to live in the wormhole, it was just more mysterious wormhole alien stuff. if it's punishment or a trade for what he did before, why not remind us? and i definitely get why avery brooks wanted them to do this rather than him just not ever coming back at all, but it's such a copout to be like "and then he has more adventures" when we can't conceptualize of what those adventures might be, and doubly so when there was no sure bet of having a ds9 movie later, bc they didn't get to have one!!! overall the entire wormhole alien plot in s7 got REALLY weird to me, with a tone shift + lack of explanations about literally anything, and wrapping up sisko's fate in their lore fell short because of that reason too. preferred ending for sisko would have been for him to die during the big battle, then come back right as everyone got overrun by pah-wraiths to save them. if he HAD to go into the wormhole, could his family had come with him? if he had to sacrifice something to win the battle, could it have been a future on bajor specifically, or connection with the prophets? idk, amnesia or something? his sight, like dukat? it was just a bad ending.

JAKE & KASIDY: putting them together because what the hell lol. the final shot of jake looking out the window while kira comforted him might as well have been ripped from the visitor...genuinely it's disappointing they enver found anything cool to do with jake, because i feel like there are a lot of good stories you could wring out of "journalist who covers the war and comes of age at the same time." i could almost see him teaming up with bashir to root out section 31 or something like that. as for kasidy, i've said this before, but it's so unfair to both her and sisko that she was basically invented to be his perfect woman and never got a personality of her own, and DOUBLY unfair to knock her up in the penultimate episode just to drag cheap tearjerker shit out of sisko's ending, which was bad. it's the same thing as having jadzia discuss a baby right before they kill HER. what is wrong with these guys??? plus, we didn't even a discussion of what they'll do now. wait for sisko on ds9? go to earth and live with grandpa sisko? remain together so jake can help with his new sibling? jake didn't even get to say goodbye to his dad. we got a scene with KASIDY, who, love and light, has even less personality/stuff going on than jake did.

O'BRIEN: this was the only ending (besides worf's) i actually liked/understood, though i feel like it didn't get nearly enough screentime. war's over, o'brien has served long enough, it's time for him to go back to the safety of utopia with his family. i like his plot about not being able to tell julian goodbye, it reminded me of the mash movie, but i wish they hadn't wrapped it up in the MIDDLE of a battle scene. like, what??

JULIAN & EZRI: i absolutely HATE that ezri became julian's replacement miles. i almost understand why they got together because when i tried to conceptualize my ideal ending for ezri it was ??? because i don't know enough about her passions and desires. where does ezri dax believe she can do the most good? where does she want to spend her life? with whom? obviously i'm into ezri/quark and ezri/worf, and i would have been fine with her staying with either of them, but with julian? and he just...stays on ds9? i was so sure julian was gonna dedicate himself to taking down section 31 or fighting for the rights of genetically enhanced people. him fighting section 31 would have been a great ending because he could have said something like "i'll ring you up for advice as often as i can" to garak or something. just...hanging out on ds9 is boring if everybody else is gonna leave.

WORF: also mostly acceptable, though i still think he should have been chancellor. i guess then he can't just randomly show up in tng movies lol.

GARAK & DAMAR: it's such a fucking copout to kill damar. that speech garak gave, where he talked about the rich history of cardassia being reduced to ashes? where he talked about how some people would say cardassia deserved it for what they did to bajor and other worlds just like it? that should have been damar's speech. kira's "yeah damar what kind of people give those orders" was setting him up as someone who goes through what the bajoran people did and learn empathy from it. dukat could have never done it because he cares about himself first, but damar actually has principles. furthermore, giving garak the speech doesn't make any sense because for all the crimes garak has committed, they were ON CARDASSIA. he wasn't out doing the colonizing. he's done crimes but not those crimes. it makes no sense for him to have to live with them. GARAK'S moment was when he realized mila was dead and his house was about to be leveled and you can never actually go home. THAT was his moment, and it was incredible. he didn't need that double beat. i think a better idea for garak is to have him decide he doesn't want to be on cardassia anymore (kind of like klinger deciding he's not going back to america after all) and joining bashir in taking down section 31. not even just for shippy reasons, though there's that too, but i think he'd insist julian would need someone like him around, and he would be right. meanwhile damar leads cardassia, and he and kira being kinda-friends now means that they leave bajor alone and become allies in the future

KIRA AND ODO: what the fuck girl...ok, you know who needed the "i'll be back" ending? odo. "maybe tomorrow, maybe next year, but i'll be back" should have been odo's ending. i get him leaving. i even agree with him leaving. he's got to cure his people or he wouldn't be odo. and he deserves to spend a little time in the great link like he's always wanted to do. but part of what makes odo so compelling is that even though he loves his people, he condemns what they do, and he has come to love his found family more. if odo rejoins his people permanently to keep them on a leash then he's just another changeling. odo who every day chooses to be with and love people who are so fundamentally different from him is what's compelling. it's what makes his and kira's relationship so beautiful. as for kira, nothing could be lamer than her quiet no-rage acceptance of odo breaking her heart and giving her no goals or ambitions outside of that. i think she should have tried to work towards bajor joining the federation in sisko's absence, since that was his goal in the pilot. like maybe not NOW, but something to work for in the future.

DUKAT & WINN: so i was really hoping winn would push dukat into the fire, and it's very sad that she did not do that. i also have mixed feelings about her mini-redemption, since it was ultimately useless. if anything, winn should have thrown herself in with dukat to spare the emissary, like IF you were gonna redeem her. let's fuck the devil but for like ever. in hell. on the other hand, i would have preferred if she unceremoniously had dukat killed and then got possessed and became the final boss. i think an unceremonious death for dukat is kind of fitting because he wants to be important. if not unceremonious, at least something where he fucked around and FINALLY found out, you know?

NOG: he didn't? get?? an ending?? i think that final vic's scene should have been with nog instead of quark, because they were such good friends. they could worry about...

QUARK: while his goodbye to odo was PERFECT, i kind of wish there had been some emphasis on him being one of the few people to stay behind. in an ideal world, it's just him and nog and kira, and vic too i guess. even his brother is going back to ferenginar! he has no one to take care of or snipe at! i liked his final scene with kira, but i would have liked to lean a little more into it. if quark/ezri, he wouldn't mind being left behind because she'd be there with him, but if not, his talk about making everyone happy but himself includes creating a space for them to come back to. and since he can't have this chat with vic, he could have it with...

MORN: come on. ONE line of dialogue! it would have been so funny.

overall it still wasn't the worst thing i've ever watched. there were some positives. it was well acted. i was very fond of everyone. even though "the way you look tonight" went on a little long for me it did give me an emotion. i liked the flashbacks even though i missed jadzia (o'brien's and julian's was really gay). but jesus christ, what a mess!!

[thestayathomedragon]

WIP Wednesday

It's that time again...

TW: Suicidal Ideation

Leon thinks about how even after all this time how naïve he is. That he still hasn’t changed much at all. He really believed that he could save Luis when his life has been nothing but failure after failure, heartbreak after heartbreak these long ten years. He really thought that he could save Luis and that having him here would make him better somehow.

How could he ever have thought that?

In fact, his being with Luis had only made things worse. Luis died to save him. A man so fucking unworthy of such a sacrifice.

He thought that he had been heartbroken with the loss before but now after having spent so much time with Luis and getting an even clearer picture of everything he’d lost, he was shattered.

Of course, once again foolish, naïve, Leon Kennedy had only made things worse for himself.

Maybe he should just stop trying. Maybe he should finally give it up. His eyes drift to the pistol he kept on his bedside table.

It’s not like anyone would even miss him.

There isn’t anyone. Hasn’t been for a long time. It feels like everyone has moved on and he’s stuck here. Stuck there. Back in Spain. Back in 2004. Still literally covered in blood, sweat and tears.

And maybe he could… Maybe there would be some peace afterward. Maybe he could finally get what he wanted so badly.

Maybe that was it. Maybe Luis had just been waiting for him to figure it out all this time.

------

“But what if it is?” Luis was more agitated than Leon ever remembered seeing him. “What if it is my fault, Leon?”

They had never had this conversation before.

“You don’t say something like that to someone that’s almost caused an apocalypse twice.”

“What if I said I didn’t care about that?” Leon knew he was being unduly flippant, but he couldn’t help but think about how little time they had for this. There was a timeline to keep in mind here. They could only go so far off schedule before something else he hadn’t planned for came up.

“I would ask what the hell is wrong with you?” Luis was of course not unmoved by his declaration. It was just in the opposite direction than he had intended.  

“A lot of things.” Leon laughed bitterly and then sighed. “This world is shit, Luis. You and I both know it. Does anything we do ever change that?”

Luis shrugged, helplessly, “Maybe it’s us. Maybe we’re the problem then, eh? Maybe we’re just shit at doing anything good.”

“Doomed from the start, huh?” Knowing what he did about Luis’s past and his own Leon wouldn’t doubt it. “All the more reason to say, ‘Fuck it’ then, right?”

 “You’re a bad influence, mi amigo.” Luis scoffs and shakes his head.

[aerkame]

Is it okay to ask if we could lean more about your OCs in the Finfolk AU? Like, what’s their work life, the roles they’ll play, what are their hobbies, and what was the inspiration when creating them? Oh, and will we see your butterfly OC by any chance? I love butterfly characters because of the unique and mesmerizing wing patterns.And fun fact, some butterflies are actually attracted to blood.

Sorry for the rambling.

I don't mind at all! Though I've never been one to make many OCs. It was only until after Welcome Home did I consider making any at all so they aren't really finished. Also I am an indecisive person on personal creative projects like this.

Both Ankor and the butterfly OC are works in progresses since I could not decide on their appearance and backgrounds, but I do have a general idea of what I want them to be so I'll share!

Ankor, who might be renamed to something more fitting, is supposed to be a shark-like dog similar to Barnaby but his features are much more sharp and he gives off an aura of strength. I got this inspiration from seeing funny videos of sharks acting like puppies around some divers because they wanted pets on the head (they were literally pushing each other out of the way for a good scratch it was so cute).

Ankor's character is that of someone who loathes injustice so he often goes about setting things right. Or well, making the scales even. He's not a "good guy", but he's not really a villain at heart. He cares about others but he does things in a violent and lethal way. More often than not, he'll be wearing silk-like furs that are really just selkie furs. No, Ankor isn't hunting them or anything like poachers do, it's actually just a good way to try and find the coat's owner because he usually does concerts near coastal regions (Side explanation: I personally think in a world of magical creatures and normal ones there would absolutely be people sick enough to hunt others for their magical qualities so I added poachers in this universe because it adds a bit more depth and danger to anyone with magic in them). He has a giant audience which means there will be lots of eyes that will see the coat so someone is bound to come forward later and get it back. He repeats this over and over whenever a new coat is found and given back to the owner. Oh, but do not lie to him. He will absolutely know when someone is lying, and he does no take well to others lying straight to his face.

As for the music he does? I'm still deciding on that.

During his free time, Ankor sometimes visits the island to see Barnaby and just hang out. The island is very quiet, there's no chance of him being tracked there, and the finfolk that Barnaby lives with all have useful items that he often buys from them. It's a win win honestly.

Onto the butterfly OC. That one I almost got rid of.

Bit of a rant sort of, it's still a touchy subject to me

At the time last year, I don't remember around what month, but it was when Welcome Home was booming, I ended up getting lots of messages from people on X about my OC and if I could draw NSFW art of her or draw Wally. The fandom seems to have this pattern of wanting NSFW from artists of either the WH characters or their OCs. It is very concerning behavior and I decided to drop anything that could possibly be NSFW or leaning towards it in any way even though I wanted my OC to be sexy or drop dead gorgeous (she's a butterfly, of course she needs to be that). But it appears that adults on X and in this fandom are too immature for that.

Her whole design was something I wanted to be alluring because of her nature. I actually did take in the fact that butterflies drink blood, sweat, and tears literally, purposefully irritating the eyes of animals to make them cry, or eating dead flesh off of reptiles. I was thinking of making her a beautiful vampire but decided against that because it felt too generic.

I think, if butterflies could truly gain higher sentience and they became giant they would not be kind at all, but flesh-eating monsters that used their pretty looks to lure others in or take advantage of others. Also, my gods, their wings would probably get massive if they became even human-sized. Gorgeous, but massive enough to cause damage.

I didn't really take the chance to flesh out her character, but I did with her personality. She has a deep French accent and a gentle but elegant aura to her and with every step she takes she looks like royalty. And she'll still keep that act up when she's drinking away at her victim's life force and blood. I wanted this OC to be as cold as ice, but lovelier than the brightest star.

If she did have a job, I could only imagine it would be modeling at fashion shows, being a designer herself, being in ballet shows, or some sort of famous singer.

As for personal non-fandom OCs? I have very few, barely even two. In fact, these two are just a mere idea of a story I want to make, but I'm not sure how.

I'll share it some other time because I really have no idea of how I can possibly express these ideas other than imagine Swan Lake, but the guy she's in love with is an evil dark lord that wants to take over the world and she's a rogue knight from an opposing kingdom that's trying to kill him and they have no idea who each other are they just want each other dead but they find each other so pretty they can't do anything about it. 😭