#advice on therapisting

[star-anise]

It's been a hot minute since I looked at Canada's National Occupation Classification system. I learned about it when studying career counselling in grad school, and it's pretty useful in terms of job-hunting and getting information on what different types of jobs require and pay.

A friend asked me for advice about becoming a therapist so I went and looked. They redid it since I last visited, and oh man there are some chef's kiss decisions.

There are 9 top-level categories, with 1 being legislative and senior management, 5 being arts, culture, and sport, and 9 being manufacture and utilities. So I was looking for my old job's classification, which used to be 4153 - Family, marriage and other related counsellors. Knowing that made searching the government job bank really easy back in the day, because instead of searching "counsellor" "counselor" "psychotherapist" "mental health therapist" "clinical counsellor" etc etc etc to find them all, I just typed "4153" and hit enter.

Anyway, they redid the system and now that job is parked at 41301 - Therapists in counselling and related specialized therapies. Here's the tree to get there:

Cool cool cool. It's tidier, even if the occupations are still a bit messy. (When I dropped out of the field, the different counselling subdivisions were tapping their toes impatiently waiting for the provincial government to let them form their own professional regulatory college. Which still has not happened. Last week my shrink said he'd got an email from the College of Psychologists announcing that it would be gathering all the smaller counselling fields into its own downy breast instead. I have no idea what's happening anymore.)

Anyway. I scrolled down to another job I once worked and HAHA WHAT

Yes. There are only three sub-units of category 44:

Nannies:

In-home caregivers:

And,

Combat specialists

I find this grouping of professions hilarious, appropriate, and deeply validating. No notes. 🧑‍🍳👌💋

[bunnieswithknives]

I feel bad for neglecting Hazel so much, I do have many thoughts about her.. and also a mermaid au that im probably not going to do anything with

[cuubism]

i went to physical therapy for my stupid broken arm so as is my legal obligation i HAD to make ship content about it. everything is ship content that's how it is

cw injury, referenced abusive relationships

--

Hob's had plenty of clients come to physical therapy who clearly don't want to be there. Plenty of others who are reasonably frustrated by the work and time involved in regaining functioning after an injury. But this is the first time he's just had someone be... quiet. Resigned.

Dream sits with his hand cradled to his chest, barely speaking, only answering when Hob asks a direct question. He's reluctant to give Hob his hand when Hob asks if he can look at it, like he thinks Hob's grip is a bear trap that will snap down and crush the bones like whatever had done so the first time. Hob still doesn't know what that was. All he knows is the bones have been realigned and healed over but the dexterity in his hand still isn't right. That was what Dream had said, in the first spark of passion Hob had heard from him. It's not right.

But he does eventually give his hand over. His bones are so fine and delicate, and each movement hesitant. Cautious. Hob tests the flexibility. The strength. Dream is right, it's not where it should be. He still doesn't know what happened.

"I won't make you tell me if you really don't want to," Hob says gently. "But it is important to know how it happened to make sure we rehab it the right way. Did you get it caught in something? I've seen guys come in with machine injuries like that."

Nothing about Dream suggests "person who works with heavy machinery." But who knows. Hob will try not to stereotype.

"No," Dream says quietly, looking down and away from his hand like he can't bear to see it. "I. I am an artist. My ex... he felt that I cared more about my art than about him. Perhaps I did. And he was... frustrated. I suppose."

Hob can put the rest of the pieces together in his mind. "Jesus," he breathes, and Dream flinches.

"I have an unfortunate ability to involve myself with such people," he says.

"No, it's not your fault," Hob says automatically.

Dream narrows his eyes. "You presume to know that?"

Hob raises his hands in surrender. "Never mind. I won't pry." He's not Dream's therapist. His job is to help him with his hand, not... whatever else is going on in his life.

He takes Dream's hand carefully between both of his own again. Presses down lightly on his knuckles. "So. Crushed. Like that?"

Dream nods. Hob still doesn't know all the details, but he's imagining a boot going down hard on the top of Dream's hand. The thought is sickening.

"Can you fix it?" Dream asks, like he doesn't dare to hope.

"Well, you already had it repaired surgically, yeah?" Hob says. This strikes him as a bit of good luck--hand fractures are not simple--but he doesn't want to undercut Dream's confidence even further by saying so. He's usually pretty good at reading his clients, and he's already sensing that Dream is holding onto his determination to be here at all by the barest thread. Best to build him up as much as possible. "So it's just a matter of strengthening the muscles again."

He's fairly confident he can get him back to a usual level of functioning with it. The question is whether he can return him to the specific level of dexterity he needs for his art. He doesn't say that. Not yet.

Finally, he gets the tiniest of smiles out of Dream. He's really lovely when he smiles.

(He's pretty when he doesn't smile, too. Hob would have to be blind not to notice it.)

"So," Hob says. "Let's look at the current range of motion, yeah?"

Dream tilts his head. "Did you not already do so?"

"For regular motion, yeah. But I want to see where it's impacting your drawing."

Dream draws his hand back, looking uncertain.

"Come on." Hob hands him a pen and paper. "Show me. I promise I know nothing about art. If it's not up to your usual standards, I'm not going to be able to tell."

Finally, Dream takes the pen, and starts sketching.

Hob watches, noting the way his hand trembles, his uneven grip on the pen. Notes how quickly he gets demoralized when it doesn't turn out the way he wants. Hob can make out what he's written and drawn, but it's clear from Dream's expression that it's far from how it's supposed to be.

"This is just a starting point," Hob reminds him. He has a feeling he's going to be doing a lot of those sorts of reminders with Dream; he does not seem to find optimism easy.

Then again, if someone who supposedly loved him had hurt him like that, Hob would probably find optimism a bit difficult, too.

Finally, Dream drops the pen, clearly frustrated. "I have tried to paint at home, too. It has not turned out any better. You should throw those away." He gestures to the sketches. "They are terrible."

"Nah, I'm gonna keep them," Hob says, and puts them in his folder. "For comparison later." It could also partially be because he finds Dream's drawings of cats, imperfect as they are, charming. Sue him.

"As you insist," Dream says.

Hob gives him documentation on some other exercises he can do at home. Tries to think through what might make him feel better with his art. It feels, somehow, so important to make him feel better.

"At home, go easy on trying to use a pen, or paintbrush or whatever, it's hard on your hand," he finally says. "But you probably want to get back to your art, so-- okay, don't make fun of me if this is stupid."

Dream just raises an eyebrow, waiting.

Maybe Hob should try to learn more about art before he gives advice. Nevertheless, he forges on. "Holding a pen is tough, but if you wanted to like, finger paint or something? That would probably be fine. Might be good for flexibility, even."

"Finger paint," Dream repeats, enunciating each word.

"I told you not to make fun of me if it was stupid."

Dream smiles, just a small thing, like he finds Hob ridiculous but in a charming way. Good enough, Hob figures.

"Very well," Dream says at last. "I will take your advice."

Dream simply walking out had felt like a distinct possibility, so Hob will take this as a win.

"Hey," he says later, catching Dream for a moment as he's checking him out. "It's going to get better, yeah? Trust me. Don't worry too hard, just give it time."

He really shouldn't make promises like that. But he can't seem to help it, with Dream.

Dream considers, then says. "I do trust you."

Hob finds that it means a lot. Now he's just going to have to earn it.

[tortured-poet-of-thursday]

writing gay fanfictions to cope with the fact that i feel like smth is wrong with me

[whendidmythoughtsgocrazy]

If you don't have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you're the problematic person in this one?

k.b. // therapist quotes

[roses-are-repulsed]

You are not broken for being repulsed. Nothing is wrong with you. You don't need to be fixed. Do not hurt yourself by purposely going past your limit to trigger your repulsion - that's not how exposure therapy works nor is it supposed to cause harm to yourself.

Do not make yourself physically ill trying to be "normal" you deserve better. You deserve kindness. Grant yourself that kindness.

[egberts]

"am i the asshole" pisses me off so much when it comes to stories of absurd child abuse. they're always so so quick to call out things as fake but it's always on stories so scarily similar to things myself and other people i know have experienced in real life. these people love to act like they're the superior knowledge on real vs fake stories on the internet but have no understanding of their lived experience being unique to them. anything even remotely outside of their idea of normal and comfortable is fake. they have no clue what can be real and immediately assume everything is a movie plot or everyone wants to be a creative writer but opinions are so obviously skewed by the privilege of being a person that did not suffer abuse and does not carry trauma. BELIEVE ABUSED CHILDREN

[periodcostumefantasylover]

Penny Dreadful 3x01

Things every therapist should tell you

[actual-changeling]

okay but can we PLEASE allow crowley to have emotions? can we let him be angry, upset, bitter, frustrated, and NOT immediately want to forgive aziraphale? can we let him be a complex being with complex emotions and trauma who is allowed to be heartbroken over aziraphale choosing heaven instead of him?

yes, they love each other. yes, they both hurt each other in that final argument. yes, neither of them is completely wrong or right.

for six thousand years, crowley has done *everything* to accommodate aziraphale. he has swallowed his emotions, crossed his own boundaries, tried again and again to get aziraphale to listen to him so he can finally make him understand how the fall changed him and how deeply fucked up the entire heaven/hell system is. it is why i cannot see the apology dance seen as "cute" or "romantic" because it's crowley once again ignoring his emotions to save aziraphale from heaven and himself; he did NOTHING wrong! aziraphale should be the one apologizing, not crowley.

and while yes, aziraphale has been on his own journey and is struggling with his own trauma, he needs to start putting crowley before his personal comfort. he needs to stop expecting crowley to throw his feelings in the wind and come crawling back to him with an apology on his lips.

the final argument was crowley saying he's DONE doing that. he's done meeting aziraphale on his side, either they'll meet in the middle or not at all - and rightfully so. aziraphale hasn't been listening to him this season, he never has.

do you really think if crowley had given him the details of the trial in heaven, gabriel's trial, anything at all that aziraphale would have believed him? no! he wouldn't have! his entire schtick is finding increasingly insane explanations for the shit heaven pulls so it doesn't contradict his personal view of it.

their relationship has never been healthy, unconditional love is NOT healthy or good. it's simply not. crowley is allowed to have hard boundaries and conditions, he's allowed to not forgive him immediately (or at all, although we all know he eventually will). aziraphale is ALSO allowed to be upset. i know that we all want them to be together and happy, but trauma recovery and personal growth aren't that simple. they're both more than the relationship they have with each other.

[starry-bi-sky]

i have... ✨Danyal Al Ghul Headcanons✨ but specifically for my yaelokre danyal oneshot

There's also the tumblr post here but I recommend the link in the title because its the ao3 version, and that one is edited and has some stuff in it that's not in the tumblr post, and will be the version I'm using.

So for summary: this Danyal is also from a Demon Siblings Au where Danny is five years older than Damian. However, things turned out a bit differently, and Danny and Damian had a fantastic relationship with one another. Danny loved music and regularly came up with songs to sing to Damian with. Specifically the folk band Yaelokre's EP "Hayfields" (seriously go fucking listen to it its sooo good. Harpy Hare is the second song but its my favorite. Special shoutout to @gascansposts for introducing the band to me)

He falls off a train when he's twelve and Damian is seven while the two of them and Talia are on mission. He ends up with magically induced amnesia and wakes up in Arkansas while the Fentons are on their yearly Divorce-iversary visit to Aunt Alica, and since he can only remember his name, he ends up being taken into their care.

---------------

Yaelokre Danny has the same facial scar as Things in Threes Danyal, since he was initially another version of him where things turned out better. I'm debating on whether or not I should take it away however, and give him a different scar (maybe from when he fell off the train?), just because the scar is a pretty key identifier for Ti3 Danyal.

-----------------

Danny frequently visits Aunt Alicia in Arkansas! Well, only after he gets settled in and stuff. He doesn't really like the city that much and prefers the countryside where Alicia lives. I know she lives in a cabin but I'm changing it to a farm, so she puts Danny to work and gets him to help her.

I don't want to confine his hobbies to only being star stuff, because people tend to have more than one hobby and I feel like it reduces him to one-dimensionality, so he likes to garden, and learns guitar. His room becomes filled with plants, and he turns their roof into a rooftop greenhouse right below to OPS Center.

He has a complex relationship with the weapons from his past, but he's not... like... appalled by it? When he finds his weapons in the Fenton attic all he thinks is that they're his weapons, and he starts carrying a knife on him afterwards. Essentially he becomes fascinated with weaponry because its one of the few physical ties he has to his past, and while he's not training like he is in the League, he allows his strong muscle memory to guide him through his katas.

Danny likes climbing things. This causes Problems For Everyone Else.

----------------

Danny was not the "kinder Al Ghul" in the League. His kindness extended to his brother and family, and that's it. To everyone else he had high expectations out of them, and the pride you'd expect from the grandson of Ra's Al Ghul and trained by its top members. While he wasn't like, unnecessarily cruel or anything, he wasn't merciful either.

This transfers post-train fall as him coming off as no-nonsense and unforgiving. He's not fond of the idea of giving people second chances, and is skeptical of the idea. He's disgusted by incompetency and views it as an unforgivable offense, especially if he thinks that the person should know better, although he's not sure why. Some egocentrism for the soul.

He doesn't like being touched by anyone who isn't family, and gets irritated when anyone grabs him or holds onto him for extended amounts of time. Dash has gotten hit so many times. With Jack Fenton's tendency for abrupt physical affection, it doesn't make it any better. I'd argue it'd make it worse because Danny doesn't want to be touched more often than not.

------------------

Danyal had a red scarf in the League that he wore on his last mission, it came off before he fell off and caught itself on the roof. Damian still has it and took it with him to Wayne Manor. He's got it locked in his room and takes it out when he's alone and missing Danny the most. One time he forgot to put it away before leaving his room, and Dick was visiting the manor for something and found it. Damian found him holding it and freaked out.

Dick could only say "I've never seen you wear this, Damian, this is really pretty--" before Damian shoved him to the floor and stole it out of his hands, before screaming at him; "Don't touch this! You don't ever touch this! This is mine! You hear me!?"

It caused such a commotion that the rest of the family present came to see what the fuss was about, and Damian kicked them all out of his room. Dick is the one brother Damian's the closest with, so the fact he reacted so strongly shocked them all.

This is likely what leads to the "Danyal" conversation.

[bayetea]

I'm a strong "percy would get a job in education/outreach to underprivileged kids in the future" truther but I don't necessarily agree with people who say that him taking on marine biology as a college major doesn't make sense at all

"why would he study marine biology he can already work with sea animals to his heart's desire" I don't know maybe because he wants to get paid???????? he wants a normal job???? percy grew up poor and unsafe. why is it weird that he craves stability with a career that enables him to do something that he loves? or maybe he wants to go into the system and help bring about lasting reform that will actually improve care for sea creatures??? yes he can save sea animals on his own time but think about it. is it better to abandon his life in the middle of the night to go help a trapped sea creature Every Single Time it happens or is it better to enter the system and make it so that capitalists stop polluting water or disturbing sea ecosystems for profit. his powers as a son of poseidon are a band-aid not a lasting solution to systemic environmental neglect and decay. he has an established precedent of caring for bringing about systemic change (see: turning down immortality) and for me this is no different (I just personally headcanon him wanting to bring change for disadvantaged kids but whatever)

to me this logic is like telling an exceptional artist that there's no point in going to art school to become a professional when they can already just do art on their own time for fun. like yeah....... if you're content with doing that as just a hobby. but what if you want to become an even better artist and learn new skills. what if you want to do it as a job that pays you and gives you health insurance and social security. then what

for me the main logistical issue of him majoring in marine biology has never been that he would never do that it's that the intersection of new rome college accreditation to the Actual Real world isn't all that clear/logistically sound. like I guess the mist can handle anything but what impact is new rome going to be able to have on the realm of mortals. this would be a nice thing to discuss actually (more in tags)

[blindmagdalena]

Maybe this is stupid but how do you handle liking Homelander but him being like Yknow a piece of crap and the whole r wording. Cuz I have some sort of stupid attraction to him but it makes me feel all sorts of guilty and gross and maybe that’s bc I already have mental issues and worry I’ll be punished or ridiculed or something bc of it and idk. It sounds really dumb but idk how to get out of the weird funk cycle bc I don’t like using the “it’s just fiction” either bc that doesn’t make me feel any better. Feel free to ignore this I’m just having a moment 😭

aw, darling. i'm saying this gently and kindly with my whole heart: introspection. me telling you why i'm okay with loving a fictional character isn't going to help you come to terms with the fact you do, especially since "it's just fiction" IS enough for me.

Homelander does not have victims. you cannot have Homelander arrested. no one you know or will ever know has been harmed by the text and images that combine to create this non-existent figment of our collective imaginations.

it sounds to me like your guilt/shame is primarily coming from your fear of judgement. that's not surprising given how heavily influenced fandom has become by puritan ideology. people ARE extremely cruel to one another these days for their preferences in media. you have to make the choice to break away from that. connect with people you feel safe around. no one is morally superior for their preference in fiction.

and also like... i'm not comfortable with EVERYONE in my life knowing how much i like Homelander. i absolutely have friends i would be embarrassed to try and explain it to. but i don't have to! it's not their business, it's mine.

having empathy for a fictional (and very tragic!) character does not make you a bad person any more than enjoying horror movies or violent video games would. please don't let anyone convince you that it does.

[bklily]

The Wish Upon a Star event ends in such a jumpscare I'm still feeling the whiplash to this day.

Bonus:

[drcaglestein-blog]

When breaking generational curses, don’t expect support from those who passed it on.

[relevant-wikipedia-articles]

What about an article so I can quickly end a depression in a couple days?

Wikipedia's goal is only to provide an overview of topics, so I doubt it's the best place to go for something like ending someone's depression

That being said though, I did find this article. I think its best use is just as a starting point. Go through it, find some things you think might work, then go somewhere more specialised (like a doctor or therapist) to work out the exact details

I know it's a cliche (and that saying "i know it's a cliche, but..." is a cliche), but you'll make it out of this someday, and, when you do, I hope you'll send another ask so we can celebrate together

Also, this ask reminded me of this YouTube video

[bittsandpieces]

more like "sleeping on my tummy with one leg bent up like" someone who's gonna have back problems for sleeping in a bad posture

I literally have to sleep face down or I will completely stop breathing. having one leg propped up keeps me at enough of an angle that I don't fuck up my neck and my tits don't cause me to lose circulation in my arms from having too much pressure on them

anyway my point is that you don't know other people's body situations and why we do the things we do

the fact that I sleep naked in a position that leaves my cunt fully exposed is just a bonus