#adhd rants

[selkypostergirl]

Maybe I’m just being bitter right now but God Fucking Dammit do I resent how much my ADHD meds make a difference in my work rate. I’m currently working through the night on a work project and I’ve been flying through it because of said meds, and all I can think about is how much I can *feel* the difference between this state and my non-medicated state. I resent that my resting dopamine levels are a fucking albatross on my neck. I resent how unreliable my brain makes me. I resent how my unmedicated mind has the short-term retention on par with the half-life of the fucking post-transuranic elements. I resent that I can do 24 hours of work in 8 but that ratio can swing in the opposite direction without warning. I resent how much of a fucking struggle it is for any kind of work I want to do, and that’s not even getting into the myriad of emotional problems my ADHD causes. I resent being unmedicated and *knowing* I’m capable of more. I resent the all-too-temporary nature of the meds, made worse by my extremely fast drug metabolism. I resent having to keep one eye on the clock because if I don’t then I’ll be down again before you can say “good job on your work Ruby.” But most of all, most of FUCKING ALL, I resent how god damn invisible it is. All that other people can see is Ruby the slacker, Ruby the unreliable, Ruby who never gets to work on time. I’m well-practiced at being chewed out for consequences of my ADHD and every time it happens I get to see that look of disappointment in their eyes, that look of frustration, that look of “I don’t understand why you failed like this.” And it’s nigh-impossible not to internalize that and hate yourself for it.

I’m trans, I’m autistic, and I’m ADHD. The first two, while marginalizing and stressful and sometimes disabling, are parts of me that contribute to my personhood and perspective, parts of me that I feel that I can love and cherish. ADHD is none of that. It’s almost exclusively negative and I’d get rid of it in a heartbeat if I could.

In conclusion:

ADHD is a Real Fucking Disability

[serenova]

Hi I read your rant about ADHD being a disability and I’m like, I need to follow this person! I’m 36 and just got diagnosed about 18ish months ago. I just lost my job partly due to my ADHD and it’s slapping me in the face that I’m different. I’ve always known that but this recent job loss dropped the bricks on me all over again. It’s hard to accept that I have limits and that’s not a bad thing because society wants someone who can do everything.

Hey there!

Glad you appreciated the rant 😅

I am "lucky" in that I was diagnosed while still in elementary school. But it still took me many many years to come to terms with it, and even now I have bad days, where I blame myself and think I'm not good enough. my husband has been witness to a few of my "I'm not good enough" spirals (he's a fucking SAINT)

the best thing you can get is a support network. it doesn't even need to be IRL, it can definitely be virtual if that's what you can manage

there's also some good discord servers out there for neurodivergent people, and a lot of them offer body double hang out voice channels.

if you aren't familiar with body doubling that's definitely something that's helped me! it's where you just.... have someone else on the computer (it has to be a real person, fake doesn't trick the brain), and you just.... each do your own thing, but KNOWING there's another person there, even if you're not communicating, somehow really helps

You have the advantage of being an adult and there's a whole lot more resources out there than there was 25 years ago!

Something that's helped me at least figure out when I'm struggling is something called "metacognition" which is basically thinking about how you think.

it's paying attention to your own thoughts... not in a stopping thoughts way but in a "I had this thought, where did it come from" kind of way if that makes any sense

it's helped me recognize when I was having a bad day, or starting a spiral... it's not a cure all but it can definitely help identify behavior patterns

also.... I embraced the "good enough" mentality... which took me YEARS to do, but basically if you can half-ass something then that's better than not doing it at all. I think being a fiber crafter really drilled it home, because no sewing or knitting or weaving or crochet project is ever perfect and sometimes you just gotta keep going. (a functional zipper still works, even if it's a little wonky, or who cares if you missed a stitch in the lace, no one's gonna notice, just keep going - but it can apply to other things in life too)

All of this to say.... You're not lesser for having it, but it IS a disability. And there are plenty of resources available these days that can help if you know where to look. I can point you to specific resources or discord servers if you want!

Also..... fuck planners 🤣

PS: if you wanna chat you can DM me!

[lesbian-disaster-academic]

i used to be so good at writing strong, thoroughly-researched, thoroughly-edited essays.

as a kid in hs, my teacher literally came up to me, holding my 40 page essay on the intersection of the European witch hunts and capitalism/exploitation/gender roles (it was supposed to be 7 pages...whoops) and went like "this is literally a master's-degree level thesis. what are you doing?? you could literally use this as your final dissertation in a master's program, what the fuck."

NOW??? NOW?? you'd think I'd be oh so skilled. but alas. i can barely piece together two ideas. adhd skill-regression is so so real. im SOBBING

[neurospicyyy]

• Fidgeting and stuttering do NOT always indicate that someone is nervous.

• Avoiding eye contact does NOT always mean someone is lying.

• Having a hard time focusing does NOT always mean someone is lazy.

• Carrying around a stuffed animal or blanket does NOT make someone childish.

• Poor motor skills is NOT a direct indication of intelligence.

Not everyone fits into your box. Deal with it.

[melxhunter]

I feel like there are a lot of people out there who needs to hear this:

If you dropped out of school because of diagnosed (or undiagnosed) ADHD, Autism, ADD, OCD, Dyslexia, Anxiety, Depression, Bipolar disorder, psychotic disorders, schizophrenia etc… You did not fail. The education system failed you.

[imkrisyoung]

Can we please stop putting down autistic, ADHD, and other neurodivergent people whose traits are considered 'cringe', 'dorky', 'weird' or something else considered to be socially unacceptable?

We get enough shit from neurotypical people—we don't need to throw each other under the bus too.

"But they're making us look bad!"

I. Don't. Care. It's wrong to put each other on hierarchies. Simple.

[ireonic]

Me: how do I study as a neurodivergent person?

Google: how to help your autistic child study

Me: how to study as an autistic adult/teen

Google: teachers guide to how to deal with autistic children

Me: how do I study as an autistic teen/adult

Google: study tips for autistic people(-written by this allistic man that will talk about autistic people like they're zoo animals)

Me: how to study as a neurodivergent adult, tips from neurodivergent person to neurodivergent students, on how to study independently as an autistic person, no reliant support needed

Google: high functioning autism and school

Me: fuck just. How do I focus during this test that I'm in rn as an AuDHD person

Google: ok, so, to focus on this thing that you currently are doing and need to get done TODAY; weeks before the test you'll need to eat healthy and exercise, meditate, study, set timers, take breaks, drink water, sleep, find the secrets to a happy life, adopt five children, sacrifice a goat, take short showers, brush your teeth

Executive dysfunction:

My fucking deadline:

[seweage-monster]

All of you complain about overstimulation and sensory overload

We need to talk about under stimulation. I’m not saying I want to be overloaded with information. No I mean when I get panic attacks because there is not enough self stimulation in a situation. I have to walk out of meetings to pace around and think to calm myself down because my fight or flight response has activated from being not being able to stim.

I get so anxious when I cannot listen to music or have something playing in the background because I need stimulation that I choose to have and which I have control over

It physically hurts my brain.

[kziecyrius]

Breaking news!

neurotypicals discover shutting the fuck up and are calling it "going nonverbal"

[giraffeautism]

The most common argument you'll hear against self diagnosis is that people will fake being [X] for attention. But every disabled person, physical or otherwise, knows this could only work in online spaces - the world was not made for us, and brandishing your disability as a badge of honor that gives you ~special privileges~ is such a funny idea.

Like, honey - that doesn't happen. No one gets anything from being disabled. Maybe extra accommodations if you're lucky - but nothing else. And the internet isn't as important as you seem to think - eventually it just feels hollow.

Ask disabled people how often they had to fight to get diagnosed so their medical needs could be met and their complaints would be heard. Doctors are just hardwired to delay this as much as possible.

I knew I was autistic since late 2018 - I got an official diagnosis 4 months ago. Knowing yourself and how you can make your own life easier is a lifesaver.

And this isn't even going into how many *cons* there are to a professional diagnosis, like being met with disdain at best and denied services at worst.

I don't care if a 16 year old who self diagnosed after taking 1 online quiz about autism is wrong. And honestly I think it's weird people treat this 'issue' with so much hatred.

[crow-n-tell]

HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT

[clown-around-and-find-out]

what i've learned thus far in my life is if a neurodivergent person has a personality they're annoying. but also if a neurodivergent person doesnt have a personality they're annoying. if a neurodivergent person acts how people want them to they're annoying. and if a neurodivergent person doesnt act how people want them to... they're annoying. basically, i've learned that as long as you're neurodivergent somebody will take issue with you, find you annoying, say you're too much or not enough.

[rabb1ttrash]

Anakin must be entertained at all times or else he will have... ideas...

[aroaceleovaldez]

The himbo, malewife, goofball -fication of percy jackson is such a crime by both the fans and riordan. It has made Mr not like percabeth as a couple because in all posts and in later books annabeth is such a girlboss, while Percy's dumb and can't fight his way out of a paperbag without her. All the posts are about how annabeth will be an architect and percy would love to be a trophy husband.

Even the humor in the books went from Percy's sharp wit and snark to 'my pancakes can't drown because I'm a son of poseidon.'

And now this recommendation letter bullshit.

Honestly now I'd wish percy just separated from annabeth (but they remain best friends.) He stays home with his family, becomes a camp counselor, helps young demigods, holds God's accountable and eventually becomes a social activist. (I also dislike him doing something marine biology related. It's clear he hates academics but he always wants to help people. Him helping demigods and mortals is such a wholesome profession for him.)

I fully agree with the first half of this, though I slightly disagree with part of the latter.

The later-series and fanon mischaracterization of Percy is at least a solid 50% ableism minimum, full stop. He's being warped into a very stereotyped ADHD character and the exact reason why he's being characterized as "dumb" is because of ableism. Percy is a very intelligent character! That's exactly why he's so in sync with Annabeth and they're such a strong duo! It's just generally Annabeth is more book/academically smart.

I disagree with where you say he hates academics - because that's one of the common misconceptions about his character. Percy doesn't hate learning or academic subjects! He's not even bad at them! We know explicitly that when he is in an accommodating environment he is interested in learning and gets significantly better grades! Percy only dislikes school because it is generally an environment that systematically he struggles with. It's literally just he has a learning disability (two, actually)! That's it! When his learning disability is accommodated for he does well! It's almost like that's what accommodations are all about! We know this from the first series! It's discussed pretty in-depth! Percy isn't a dumb character and he doesn't hate learning, he's just been let down by school systems so much that he's inherently distrustful of them. If they actually accommodate him though then he does just fine!

And that's exactly what CHB was all about and why New Rome University was supposed to be such a big thing for him! CHB is a learning environment geared for demigods. NRU is a demigod college. Both inherently imply an environment meant to cater to and accommodate students with ADHD and dyslexia! They are both systematically structured to be able to accommodate him! Heck, CHB and CJ even both address in the wider themes of the series a metaphor about how ADHD and dyslexia are commonly seen as childhood disabilities, and how it can be more difficult to find accommodations into adulthood because of that attitude but those disabilities don't just go away - that's why CHB is a summer camp but they talk about how demigods outside of CHB don't often fare well. The metaphor there is those who are not getting help or accommodations are struggling. Because that's how that works! This is a fully intentional metaphor from the first series! CHB is never framed as being perfect for demigods, because one of the entire central conflicts of the series is Percy and Luke going back and forth about this flawed system meant to help and support them but still letting people fall through the cracks. The "claim your kids by 13" thing is a metaphor about how acknowledging a child's disabilities (and possibly getting a diagnosis) earlier/as early as possible means they will have more time to learn and build up resources and support for themselves to be able to use later in life. One of CHB's major flaws is that it can accommodate demigods to a certain point, but it can only do so much before those demigods have to leave (the metaphor being accommodating school systems when those disabled students do not have any other forms of accommodations in their lives.)

And that's why Camp Jupiter was framed as being so revolutionary for Percy because it had an environment acknowledging that this is not just a childhood disability, adults with ADHD/dyslexia exist too and still need and deserve accommodations, AND is a place where those accommodations are available. That's why Camp Jupiter and NRU are treated as such special and important things to Percy, because it's essentially Percy being shown this type of thing can and does exist and it is available to him. It is an option he never thought was possible. Percy never thought he'd be able to go to college because he would not be able to go through school without accommodations, but NRU proves otherwise.

The part that's absolutely stupid is Rick then proceeded to retcon NRU so that apparently it's not a full college and Percy still has to take classes at normal mortal college which DEFEATS THE ENTIRE PURPOSE OF NRU EXISTING. Rick has fully retconned that demigods struggle past the ages of 16-18 when they're on their own (see above elaborated metaphors) and in doing so we have fully killed all symbolism in literally all of that. It's so stupid. And by having the plot of the CoTG trilogy entirely be that Percy is not actually allowed access to NRU in the first place because he is a son of Poseidon and has to do extra to even be accepted is stupid!

All that to say, I agree the marine biology feels like a huge cop-out and a disservice to his character by reducing him to just a son of Poseidon. The literal only reason why it's the default option people take for him is because oh, fish thing, fish guy. But I feel like everyone ignores the really obvious answer for what Percy would want to do which is - writing. Both his parents are writers/authors and he clearly admires that about them. Percy likes telling stories! He canonically is already a published author in-universe! That's what the books ARE in-universe! The first series fully exists in their universe and Percy is the author! This is explicit canonical information! Percy canonically has help physically writing it down (accommodations) but he is still the credited author! Percy is a writer! Already! Canonically! Why are we making him a marine biologist he already has a profession that ties into his character significantly more. Like you said, Percy likes helping people. That's what the books in-universe are supposed to be for! It's point blank at the beginning of the series! Book one! The thing everybody quotes all the time! The books exist because it is Percy trying to give advice to other demigods who don't know what's going on yet! It's Percy's writing down his experiences to help new demigods understand and contextualize their experiences so they can understand themselves better and figure out what's going on - WHICH IN ITSELF IS ALSO A METAPHOR ABOUT ADHD/DYSLEXIA! Because the core of the series has and always will be built around ADHD/dyslexia! Percy as a protagonist EXPLICITLY was created so that ADHD/dyslexic kids could see themselves as a hero!

Sorry that all was a very tangential rant but my point being: Absolutely. Percy in newer stuff in the franchise and in fanon is horrifically mischaracterized in ways that are functionally either fully ableist (shoutout TSATS for just outright claiming Percy is intentionally lazy and skips school out of disinterest, which is like the number one ableist attitude towards kids with learning disabilities) or a complete erasure of Percy's disabilities. Also I think he should be a writing major not a marine biologist.

[ohara-n-brown]

Am I the only one that feels like NTs HATE saying 'I don't know.'

You will not believe the amount of times I'll ask a basic objective question about a situation and they'll give me an answer, only for later the answer to be completely wrong. And then when I ask them why they would give me wrong information - they say 'I just guessed.'

I didn't ask you for your guess. I asked for the information. If you didn't have the information don't just GUESS. Say 'I don't know.'

I feel like NT don't realize that WRONG information is worse than no information.

If I want to know when an event will end and you say '5pm' - I'm going to be mentally prepared for 5pm. And if it DOESN'T end then, not only will I be out of energy, but I'll be irritated and confused because I'm in an unfamiliar situation with NO INFORMATION

Had you just told me 'I don't know what time it ends' instead of GUESSING 5, then I would've prepared for the worse. But now I have to literally rearrange everything in my head and talk myself down from meltdown cause I was given inaccurate information and also I thought I was going home.

But they act instead like saying I don't know is a moral failure.

My father used to yell at me all the time to not say 'I don't know.'

He'd always demand I figure it out and come up with SOMETHING no matter how uninformed or vague and that's how you have NTs walking around feeling like it's a crime to admit they simply don't know something

and instead they'll just shamble something together and hope that's good enough regardless of whether in the information is actually helpful or correct.

IT'S SO ANNOYING. JUST SAY YOU DON'T KNOW.

Stop guessing and giving me WRONG information because it only makes the situation worse and more confusing. Say you don't KNOW. It's FINE.

[clarafyer]

Who else is with me on my theory that there is cat autism and there is dog autism.

Cat autism:

- usually introverted (exceptions can be made)

- Stare into the void and forget that you're supposed to be taking rapid notes in class

- Switching very quickly from understimulated to overstimulated

- Sleep>>>>>

- Hissing (but most of the time you have to mask it bc then people think you're weird for doing that 😃)

- "How to let someone know you appreciate them when you dont know how"

- Seen as rude and insensitive

Dog autism:

- Usually extroverted (again, exceptions can be made)

- Unintentionally loud

- "I will do anything for you fav person"

- If you give them anything even if it's a fucking gum wrapper they will cherish it for their entire life

- Blurts out thoughts

- Seen as over affectionate and emotional

BOTH:

- Just screaming/yelping as communication

- Gift giving

- DESPISE fireworks/any sudden loud noise

IF THERE ARE ANY OTHER IDEAS Y'ALL HAVE REBLOG I WANNA HEAR THEM (yes some of this is taken from one of Dannyphantom.exe's videos)

I know this because me and my other IRL autistic friend are a PRIME example of why I believe this theory

(EDIT: also I believe there are subcategories. Like black cats and orange cats, golden retrievers and huskies, etc)