#adhd memory problems

[bbybearcubbs]

"But that's not how it happened" you said, disbelief in your tone

"Tell me how it happened then." they reply

"I can't remember how it happened but I know it wasn't like that" you chuckle dryly. They're doing it again

"Oh so you conveniently can't remember now?" They cross their arms, disbelief on their face

"I don't forget things on purpose." You cross yours. Shit not again...please not again...

"Just like you don't choose to forget doing all the important things you need to do to make my life easier right?" They step closer. Raising their voice louder.

You hated when they raised their voice.

"I don't choose to forget!" You shout in desperation that they'll listen.

"Don't raise your voice at me. Fix your face, you're acting like I told you something wrong-"

"But you're not listening to me!" You say stronger this time, trying not to shout.

"No you're not listening to me! You actively forgot to-"

"I didn't forget on purpose!" You plead "I don't do it on purpose! I just forget sometimes! Maybe to often but it's not my fault! I don't do it on purpose!" Your eyes are tearful but no water was spilled yet. Why couldn't you defend yourself without crying?

"Why are you crying? You have no reason to be crying right now" They crossed their arms again. Looking at you dead in your face.

You take a deep breath in and then a deep breath you. Clenching and unclenching your fists. You blink back the tears and try to swallow the lump in your throat that seems to have grown bigger since last time. Don't fight it. It always ends the same so why do you even try? Just accept it. If they say you did it on purpose maybe you did. Maybe you just convinced yourself you didn't.

"Fine...you're right, whatever. I forgot on purpose 'cause I didn't wanna do it in the first place" You mumble. Your head hangs low at first but you raise it and look at them straight in the face. Deadpanned. No anger, no sadness. You just look at them.

"I don't know why you make us go through this every single time..." They begin to rant.

You've gotten used to drowning them out. You watch them pace up and down. Mixing the words they speak with the voices in your head. You try your best to make them as quiet as possible and pick out a random quote from one of your comfort people amidst the hurricane in your head. You feel your lips twitch as you stop yourself from smiling. This is what you've come too. But it's okay. You can hold out just a little bit longer.

They finally shut up. They say to go. Just leave. So you do. You go to your room, climb onto your bed and pull out your phone. Your plan was to watch your favorite people do silly things and the things they love online but before you can even unlock your phone you realize you're smiling. They won't help you right now. Any emotion you try to feel is going to feel like it's squeezing at your heart. Your chest already hurts. Maybe you should just sleep. The emptiness will be gone when you wake up and you'll be okay again. Probably. Like usual.

[dracomeir]

Finally remembered to make my pfp the same as twitter/newgrounds/discord. I kept forgetting to crop it from a comic I made since tumblr doesn't have crop/zoom like every other site I use.

[dikdikpronouncedxylophone]

The most terrifying part of having memory issues is when you can feel something from 5 seconds ago be thrown out the window and there's an empty hole where it once was. You remember that you forgot something.

[solidwater05]

Apparently this needs to be said so

Forgetting things is morally neutral! Memory issues are morally neutral!

You're not a bad person if you...

forget things quickly

forget people

can't remember entire stages of your life

can't remember important things

can remember some things very well and forget other things all the time

can't remember things (or anything!) about your interests

forget to eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, etc

forget to reply to texts

remember things and immediately forget them again

can't remember birthdays, events, etc

frequently answer 'I forgot' to questions

can't retain new information

forget things you used to know

only remember things when it's too late

have vague, distorted and/or unreliable memories

depend on others to know how an event you were in played out

have other symptoms that are worsened by memory issues and vice versa

... and anything else I might have missed!

[toomuchdivergentformyneuro]

can we talk about the shame that comes along with having ADHD?

the shame that hits you when you walk around your messy, cluttered room, knowing you don’t yet have the motivation or hyperfocus to clean it, even though you want to.

the shame that hits you when you retell a story for the thousandth time and the person you’re talking to gets bored or annoyed or confused by it, cuz you couldn’t remember you had told it before.

the shame that hits you when you ask someone to repeat what they’re saying multiple times because you keep forgetting or you just can’t hear them.

the shame that hits you when you forget something super important after you leave for a trip, and you ask to go back for it.

the shame that hits you when you know you’re overanalyzing something someone said to you, but it still hurts.

the shame that hits you when you snap at people who are just talking to you while you’re hyperfocused.

the shame that hits you when you realize you don’t remember jackshit about your life, you don’t have any memories, and you wonder what it was all like.

the shame that hits you when someone asks you to just shut up or sit still after you were just expressing your emotions, your happiness even, but were just a little too loud about it.

all the shame. over everything. we should talk about that all more.

[incognitopolls]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[anxietyfrappuccino]

i'm the kind of nerd that enjoys all the different kinds of nerd stuff but i could not tell you a single thing about any of it, i am a black hole of "oh, that's cool" and then it's gone

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

ADHD & Working Memory

The Mini ADHD Coach

[puppppppppy]

adhd is when you shoot for the moon but you forgot the rocket fuel and by the time you realize it everyones already on the moon and then you panic and crash into the sun and it explodes

[youthsbandana]

Having ADHD is just like:

I'm sorry.

I know it's inconvenient.

I'm sorry.

I know it's annoying.

I'm sorry.

I know it's selfish.

I'm sorry...

I know I shouldn't say sorry because an apology without change is manipulation.

I'm sorry.

I know I can't change my behavior; I've tried.

I'm sorry

[homoqueerjewhobbit]

So, way back in episode one, Mark knew who Helena was when he almost hit her with his car in the parking lot, too? Almost hitting the CEO-in-waiting would have been the highlight my day. It would have been the first thing I mentioned at the dinnerless party. I would share that anecdote all the time. "That's so visceral," Rebeck would say.

[thecardiganunderthebed]

memory

ah yes, the classical life crisis called "memory" where I continuously question if a memory is:

an actual memory

a very vivid dream

it didn't happen I just heavily imagined it

someone else's story I heard

something I read or saw online

[chaos-in-one]

"It's important you remember -thing-!"

Girl I barely remember today.

[sunshinegremlin]

CALLING ALL PPL WHO STRUGGLE TO KEEP A CALENDAR!

I used to keep a bullet journal years ago but I completely fell off it once COVID began. Since then, I have had no calendar to keep my life together.

As someone with ADHD, a calendar would help me stay sane, but every time I tried to get back into it, no matter what I tried, it never stuck. Therefore, my life was a mess.

But while reading a Webtoon (called "30 Minutes With You" if you're interested, it's really wholesome) the main character does daily doodles in her pocket calendar, and then it clicked.

I've been doing daily little doodles in my pocket calendar and I've generally kept up for two months now! Overall, it's been really fun AND has kept me more put together!

Here is an example:

You can get a pocket calendar from Dollar Tree for $1.25 (if you're in the US and Canada)! I use blank office labels cut into the right size as the white squares I draw on just because it looks better.

This has also really helped my memory, because once stuff happens my brain forgets it immediately. It really makes me feel like my life is fuller and it's been easier to look back and see how far I've come!

Hope it helps! 💛

[sharkcollector]

Autism:

huh i haven't heard from this person for a while, let me try and remember if i said anything that might have offended them.

ADHD:

NUH UH

[bicripple]

Tips on returning a product to store after the return window

I was never great at returning things on time given my ADHD, but since developing Long Covid it's become way more of a Problem.

It wasn't until that recently that I figured out it is often (not always) possible to get an exception to return policies! 😯

Generally it will be for store credit, and it may not be a 100% refund - a 75-80% store credit is pretty common. (Even if it's not a full refund, it's usually more than what you'd get if you tried to resell it on the used marketplace!)

TIPS

Buy from local, non-monopolistic stores. My experience is that the smaller independent stores tend to be most quietly willing to be flexible about their policies. (Oftentimes it's because the person you wind up talking to is the actual owner.)

Do not expect the refund. If you get it, it's great. Do not go in feeling entitled to it.

In my experience, whether they'll take the item back is not a function of how late you are in returning it. It's a function of how resellable the item looks. Is it still in the original packaging? Is it still in original condition? Did you repack it exactly as it was before? Does it look like it could go back on the floor as-is?

Be ready to buy other things from the store! If it's a brick-and-mortar store, I like to first shop for something I legitimately would want from the store, so that when I show up to the counter to ask my refund I have something in hand that I would use the store credit on. It helps make clear that I'm a returning customer.

Be polite. Show some contrition that you messed up, but enough restraint that it doesn't distract or derail the conversation. A singular apology with a "oops" expression is sufficient before pivoting back to smiling and being nice to the employee.

Keep the excuse simple. That's a singular excuse. You only need one. So it's EITHER "I have long covid and it's impacted my memory" OR "I have ADHD" OR "there was a death in my family and I was out of town and forgot about this". The customer service rep does not need a long story or laundry list of extenuating circumstances. Again, what generally makes the difference is how resellable the item is, not the backstory. Remember this is a business decision on their part.

If they give you the exception: give the store a 5-star review afterwards. DO NOT mention they made an exception to store policy for you. DO praise the staff for being helpful and good at their jobs.

Generally speaking, the stores that have made exceptions for me have turned me into a loyal customer. And oftentimes the staff will remember me as a repeat customer: most local stores rely on their regular customers to keep them afloat.

Many stores understand this as a reason to give a customer an exception. Your results may vary but in my experience, local stores consistently give me at least partial store credit! And it's a big relief to do it: I now have one less useless item sitting in my apartment! 😅