#adhd memory problems

[s-cordelia-mae]

Why can I defend Steve about not being dumb with all my heart because I can see myself in him and recognise the same traits and my learning disabilities in him and I can see it and defend him but I can’t keep that same energy for myself why am I like this

[bbybearcubbs]

"But that's not how it happened" you said, disbelief in your tone

"Tell me how it happened then." they reply

"I can't remember how it happened but I know it wasn't like that" you chuckle dryly. They're doing it again

"Oh so you conveniently can't remember now?" They cross their arms, disbelief on their face

"I don't forget things on purpose." You cross yours. Shit not again...please not again...

"Just like you don't choose to forget doing all the important things you need to do to make my life easier right?" They step closer. Raising their voice louder.

You hated when they raised their voice.

"I don't choose to forget!" You shout in desperation that they'll listen.

"Don't raise your voice at me. Fix your face, you're acting like I told you something wrong-"

"But you're not listening to me!" You say stronger this time, trying not to shout.

"No you're not listening to me! You actively forgot to-"

"I didn't forget on purpose!" You plead "I don't do it on purpose! I just forget sometimes! Maybe to often but it's not my fault! I don't do it on purpose!" Your eyes are tearful but no water was spilled yet. Why couldn't you defend yourself without crying?

"Why are you crying? You have no reason to be crying right now" They crossed their arms again. Looking at you dead in your face.

You take a deep breath in and then a deep breath you. Clenching and unclenching your fists. You blink back the tears and try to swallow the lump in your throat that seems to have grown bigger since last time. Don't fight it. It always ends the same so why do you even try? Just accept it. If they say you did it on purpose maybe you did. Maybe you just convinced yourself you didn't.

"Fine...you're right, whatever. I forgot on purpose 'cause I didn't wanna do it in the first place" You mumble. Your head hangs low at first but you raise it and look at them straight in the face. Deadpanned. No anger, no sadness. You just look at them.

"I don't know why you make us go through this every single time..." They begin to rant.

You've gotten used to drowning them out. You watch them pace up and down. Mixing the words they speak with the voices in your head. You try your best to make them as quiet as possible and pick out a random quote from one of your comfort people amidst the hurricane in your head. You feel your lips twitch as you stop yourself from smiling. This is what you've come too. But it's okay. You can hold out just a little bit longer.

They finally shut up. They say to go. Just leave. So you do. You go to your room, climb onto your bed and pull out your phone. Your plan was to watch your favorite people do silly things and the things they love online but before you can even unlock your phone you realize you're smiling. They won't help you right now. Any emotion you try to feel is going to feel like it's squeezing at your heart. Your chest already hurts. Maybe you should just sleep. The emptiness will be gone when you wake up and you'll be okay again. Probably. Like usual.

[dracomeir]

Finally remembered to make my pfp the same as twitter/newgrounds/discord. I kept forgetting to crop it from a comic I made since tumblr doesn't have crop/zoom like every other site I use.

[dikdikpronouncedxylophone]

The most terrifying part of having memory issues is when you can feel something from 5 seconds ago be thrown out the window and there's an empty hole where it once was. You remember that you forgot something.

[madpunks]

we are so ableist about memory. people with good memory take for granted the fact that they can recall as much as they can, and use that to taunt, guilt and threaten people with memory issues. many neurotypes and mental illnesses cause memory lapses. traumatic brain injuries can cause memory lapses. brain cancer can cause memory lapses.

even if your memory is good, it's not right to guilt someone because they can't remember something. trust me, people with memory problems are desperately trying to remember: it's just that we literally can't. it is a very literal "i can't remember".

[solidwater05]

Apparently this needs to be said so

Forgetting things is morally neutral! Memory issues are morally neutral!

You're not a bad person if you...

forget things quickly

forget people

can't remember entire stages of your life

can't remember important things

can remember some things very well and forget other things all the time

can't remember things (or anything!) about your interests

forget to eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, etc

forget to reply to texts

remember things and immediately forget them again

can't remember birthdays, events, etc

frequently answer 'I forgot' to questions

can't retain new information

forget things you used to know

only remember things when it's too late

have vague, distorted and/or unreliable memories

depend on others to know how an event you were in played out

have other symptoms that are worsened by memory issues and vice versa

... and anything else I might have missed!

[toomuchdivergentformyneuro]

can we talk about the shame that comes along with having ADHD?

the shame that hits you when you walk around your messy, cluttered room, knowing you don’t yet have the motivation or hyperfocus to clean it, even though you want to.

the shame that hits you when you retell a story for the thousandth time and the person you’re talking to gets bored or annoyed or confused by it, cuz you couldn’t remember you had told it before.

the shame that hits you when you ask someone to repeat what they’re saying multiple times because you keep forgetting or you just can’t hear them.

the shame that hits you when you forget something super important after you leave for a trip, and you ask to go back for it.

the shame that hits you when you know you’re overanalyzing something someone said to you, but it still hurts.

the shame that hits you when you snap at people who are just talking to you while you’re hyperfocused.

the shame that hits you when you realize you don’t remember jackshit about your life, you don’t have any memories, and you wonder what it was all like.

the shame that hits you when someone asks you to just shut up or sit still after you were just expressing your emotions, your happiness even, but were just a little too loud about it.

all the shame. over everything. we should talk about that all more.

[incognitopolls]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[starridge]

man i wont get into it but i wish people realized how deeply embarrassing it is to have genuine memory issues that affect your day to day life

[b4kuch1n]

simulated earth (it does not matter)

transcript

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

ADHD & Working Memory

The Mini ADHD Coach

[youthsbandana]

Having ADHD is just like:

I'm sorry.

I know it's inconvenient.

I'm sorry.

I know it's annoying.

I'm sorry.

I know it's selfish.

I'm sorry...

I know I shouldn't say sorry because an apology without change is manipulation.

I'm sorry.

I know I can't change my behavior; I've tried.

I'm sorry

[puppyeared]

adhd is when you shoot for the moon but you forgot the rocket fuel and by the time you realize it everyones already on the moon and then you panic and crash into the sun and it explodes

[thecardiganunderthebed]

memory

ah yes, the classical life crisis called "memory" where I continuously question if a memory is:

an actual memory

a very vivid dream

it didn't happen I just heavily imagined it

someone else's story I heard

something I read or saw online

[sunshinegremlin]

CALLING ALL PPL WHO STRUGGLE TO KEEP A CALENDAR!

I used to keep a bullet journal years ago but I completely fell off it once COVID began. Since then, I have had no calendar to keep my life together.

As someone with ADHD, a calendar would help me stay sane, but every time I tried to get back into it, no matter what I tried, it never stuck. Therefore, my life was a mess.

But while reading a Webtoon (called "30 Minutes With You" if you're interested, it's really wholesome) the main character does daily doodles in her pocket calendar, and then it clicked.

I've been doing daily little doodles in my pocket calendar and I've generally kept up for two months now! Overall, it's been really fun AND has kept me more put together!

Here is an example:

You can get a pocket calendar from Dollar Tree for $1.25 (if you're in the US and Canada)! I use blank office labels cut into the right size as the white squares I draw on just because it looks better.

This has also really helped my memory, because once stuff happens my brain forgets it immediately. It really makes me feel like my life is fuller and it's been easier to look back and see how far I've come!

Hope it helps! 💛

[sharkcollector]

Autism:

huh i haven't heard from this person for a while, let me try and remember if i said anything that might have offended them.

ADHD:

NUH UH