#addiction Recovery

[neuroticboyfriend]

relapse is not a moral failure. substance use and addiction are not a moral failure. mental illness is not a moral failure. disability is not a moral failure. you have a health condition. you are struggling. recovery is not mean to be perfect, and if you're not in recovery, surviving is good too. i'm glad you're here, and i hope life treats you better soon. please know this is not your fault. you do not need to feel guilty over your own health.

[intersexfairy]

it's been so hard for me as a trans man these past few years. unfortunately the internet has had a huge hand in that. i won't get into it too much from that angle, but i will tell you how i felt, and still feel.

i feel like the scum of the earth, a lot of the time. like im betraying women, like i can't be proud and happy. like there's something gross about me, irredeemable and unwanted. like my pain and joy don't matter. like i need to conform as much as i physically can - and run away from who i really am.

that led me down a really dark road. addiction, psych wards, suicidality, the whole nine yards. im 117 days sober today, and i'd be lying to you if i told you it's sunshine and rainbows. it's not. but it is so much better. im finally getting the clarity of mind to look at myself again, trying to discover myself for the first time.

that's scary as hell, but the good news is, if i reconnect with myself, things can get better. and you know what? i don't deserve that - i need that. being my true self isn't something i need to earn, or prove. it's something to be experienced and felt and valued. self-actualization is a human need.

so to any other trans men who have struggled with who they are, whether it expressed itself as it did in me or not, i want you to know you're not alone. you're not, and you shouldn't be. you are allowed to exist, just as you are, right here in this moment. all the things you've been through matter. all the things you've yet to experience matter. you matter.

our suicide rates are absymally high, and we need to stick together. all of us, not just trans men. there is family out there for us. we can find love and compassion and freedom and joy. and other people, whether online or not, cannot change that. the world is so much bigger than the hate that's out there. there's so much life to be lived.

there is so much love waiting for you. i hope you stick around to find it. i'd promise to be with you to do that, but i can't. i will tell you though, i will try my damned hardest to become my best self. not just for me, but for you. for you, for you, for you. i love you, man. and one day you'll love yourself too. so will i.

be as honest, open, and willing as you can. hold on tight to hope, even if only for the ride. one day you won't regret it.

[incognitopolls]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[danneroni]

🪽🌎 HUG A JUNKIE 🌎🪽

[lingeringembers]

Criminalizing drug users does not prevent drug use it prevents people from getting help.

[selflovewarrior]

selflovewarrior on facebook & tumblr

[she-is-healthy]

Reasons I Choose Recovery

I want to know what it feels like to love myself for once. I deserve to know.

I don't want to waste another 10 years trapped by my shitty relationship with food.

I've spent the last 4-5 years drunk, high, or both. I want to be present in my own life.

Good health is a privilege, not a right. I don't want to take my body for granted anymore.

There is so much more to me than my weight and my disorder.

Confidence and self-love is sexier than the number on the scale or measuring tape.

I want to glow on my wedding day.

Building muscle feels AMAZING!

Despite what the toxic EDblr mantras want people to believe, there's no point in destroying myself for the sake of weight loss if the only end result is me fitting into a smaller casket.

[thedomesticanthropologist]

this is it yall I DID IT!! today's the 100TH DAY of my sobriety

Thank you so, so much to everyone here who has commented, replied, sent asks, private messaged me throughout this journey sending me support and love - it means more than you know 💕

In the last 100 days I have been able to write and draw more, I have been gradually less anxious and my dark brain thoughts have spiraled much less than when using. I got my dreams back, literally- it had been years since u recalled draming at night and now I remember every couple nights dreams.

I learned that for an addict, getting sober doesn't mean not wanting to drink/smoke. I may always have the desire to. But now I know I am strong enough to fight back and win.

100 days!!!!

[emotional-moss]

fastest way to tell if someone genuinely cares about addicts and people with mental health issues in general? ask them how they feel about people who vape. vaping is and has been a hot button issue for like the last ten years or so and the way you hear people talk about people who vape, including teenagers, actual children, is insane. “at least i can go five minutes without needing a hit of flavored air” “kids who vape are cringe and just doing it to look cool” “when the addict loses their pen and tears their whole house apart looking for it” it’s like. you guys are just making fun of addiction. vapes are extremely addictive, way more so than cigarettes, and their flavors are deliberately targeted at children and young people. you achieve nothing by making fun of “kids who vape,” especially when you turn around five seconds later and claim to care about addicts. valing is an addiction like any other.

[cleanaf]

TAG SOMEONE WHO NEEDS THIS !!!

[my-journey-to-recovery]

[neuroticboyfriend]

hey you. are you frustrated with yourself? are you beating yourself for not coping better? for not doing things you know can help you? for being afraid, angry, or depressed? ask yourself that, honestly.

if the answer is yes, i want you to know one thing: you're gonna be okay. it may not feel like it, but you're doing your best. you can't hate yourself into knowing better, and hating yourself still won't help you with the things you do know. knowledge and awareness and willpower can only get you so far.

you're not a computer. you're not a textbook. you're a living breathing being. you have feelings and beliefs, and it's going to take some time to work through those. it's okay to be scared. it's okay to be frustrated. it's okay to not be okay. no one can be good and fine all the time, and many of us can't be so often.

so, this is your sign to meet yourself where you're at. keep your head where your feet are. you're exactly where you're meant to be. you can't force yourself to be someone you're not, and the only way this gets better is if you accept yourself first.

so just focus on that. what you're experiencing right now will pass. future you will figure things out. for now, just be. just be. that's all you have to do. you exist and that's good. you're doing great. keep going. you'll be surprised at what you're capable of. ♡

[life-as-gwen]

The Tunnel

Imagine you are looking into the opening of a long dark tunnel. You can see no light at the end, you only hear the voice of your teacher. You must enter the tunnel. You must walk through the darkness. You follow the voice. For the tunnel is not straight, it has many corners, and as you round the last corner you see your teacher, standing in the light, waiting for you.

When I entered rehab I was confused and desperate. I had made the most important decision, to get help, but little did I know that things were going to get a lot darker before they got better. The journey of exploring my fears, insecurities and trauma was about to begin.

In the first few weeks I remember wanting to hide in my room. I wanted to be alone. Now I was being asked to be in the presence of other people while I was at my most vulnerable. I was raw with emotion, puffy eyed and overwhelmed.

As time went on, I was to face many painful realities while exploring the history of my addiction. Some of these realities I had never accepted. Some were secrets that I thought I would take to the grave. Over and over again I was broken open, spilling out all the ugliness I had been keeping inside. Each time I believed there was nothing left to frighten me, no more to expose, but each time I was wrong.

I had no choice but to trust that I was in safe hands. I had made a conscious choice to trust my counsellor and made the decision to do whatever he asked of me. He tasked me with the nearly impossible over and over, and each time I came out the other side a stronger person. I had an understanding of myself that I had never had before. I was on my way to a life in recovery.

I am forever grateful.

[danneroni]

🪽⚕️ HUG A JUNKIE ⚕️🪽

Pearl linen prints are live!

danneroni.etsy.com

[kestalsblog]

Tips for Writing Characters in Recovery from Addiction

I've encountered several portrayals of characters in recovery from addiction, both in fanfiction and published writing, that are clearly somewhat under-researched or leaning into stereotypes. Additionally, writing advice posts on the subject often feel detached and cite statistics rather than express humanity.

As a result, I decided to put together what I believe to be some characteristics and shared experiences of people in recovery that aren't just about withdrawal and might be less familiar to the general public. Perhaps they can be useful to writers aiming to write thoughtful and accurate portrayals of characters in similar situations.

Please note, of course, that both addiction and recovery are very unique, personalized experiences, so no one list will ever apply 100% to a single person—fictional or real.

Dreams of relapse. I personally experience these dreams at least 4-5 times a month, and they're unlike any other other dreams I have because they're so vivid and lifelike that I wake from them completely convinced for a moment that I did, in fact, relapse. These dreams do NOT mean you want to relapse. In fact, they are often a sign of extreme fear of relapse. The possibility of it is so nightmarish that your mind can only translate it into a literal night terror.

Adding to the previous point, the fear of relapse is seriously underestimated. Some people assume recovered addicts are always thinking about relapsing in a tempting way, but lots of these thoughts stem from the absolute, paralyzing terror of the past repeating itself—not an alluring urge to return to it.

Paranoia that everyone is looking at you thinking "they know the truth about my past. They know I was an addict." These beliefs are, of course, unfounded.

Constantly categorizing everything as "before addiction," "during addiction," and "after addiction." Even something as simple as looking at photographs can elicit thoughts like, "I was so happy in this picture. I had no idea what was coming for me in six months."

Counting recovery days nonstop to the point that it can even become debilitating. Your sense of time is forever altered because you're always trying to "catch up" on all the time you "wasted."

If people know, they will constantly make snide or condescending remarks, no matter how far along in recovery you are. "An addict is always an addict." "Well, I can see you're doing better than you used to be!" "I would never do something like that."

People will relentlessly assume you are less intelligent and talk to you like you're a child, especially if you're in the early stages of recovery.

Everyone knows addicts lose friends and/or family, and sometimes for good reasons, but the sheer number of people who leave for no apparent reason when you're actively trying to get better is surprising. The stigma surrounding addiction is so intensely negative that most people don't even want to be tangentially associated with it.

Addicts and recovered addicts are fetishized in unexpected ways— sometimes because of the obviously sickly appearance, the assumption that they will do anything to feed their addiction, the false belief that they are "fun" or "exciting," or maybe even that they just seem pathetic. Random people in public will approach you and straight-up ask for the most disrespectful sexual acts you can imagine. (After my addiction became common knowledge, people I thought were good people suddenly started trying like mad to sleep with me and then ditched me entirely. That's probably one of the most painful learning moments I had).

Physical symptoms can appear months, even years, after recovery starts. I know some who have noticed their hands suddenly becoming shakier, their hair thinner, and unusual chest pains.

You often become so angry and guilty with your past self that it prevents you from seeing how extraordinary your progress really is.

You start to realize how far you've come and how liberated you are in the smallest of moments. One of the greatest accomplishments of mine was realizing one morning when I woke up that the last thought I'd had before going to bed had not been about my addiction. Throughout my entire years of addiction, it was literally always the first thing on my mind when I woke up, even if it was just getting up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. It was the last thing I thought of every single night before I fell asleep.

Speaking of sleep, a full night's sleep! Full meals! Not feeling sick 100% of the time. At first, it's almost like growing into a new body.

Your memory is not the same as before, whether you remember too much or there are big dark patches in your mind.

The appreciation. As difficult and painful as it is, a world in recovery is also so often a world of supreme beauty. You pay attention to life's details in ways you never could have imagined before. Things assume a gentle sincerity and sensitivity they never had previously.

Relapse does not always even happen. Some people quit and never look back. I decided to change my life in every way in February 2021 and spent all of that March relapsing. By April 1, I was ready and never went back once.

Addicts are always deemed selfish and narcissistic, even recovered addicts. Sometimes, ironically, recovery leads to increased empathy. It can take reaching a low point to understand another person's low point.

Recovery can be quiet. It's not always over-the-top constant relapses, breakdowns, etc. Sometimes it's just very private and silent attempts to make your life better.

Finally, a point I would like to emphasize is that addiction is a lonely, isolating experience, but often recovery is too. Yes, you can have rehab (if you're lucky to get into a good one), and, yes ,you might have a group or loved ones who help you (I hope). But every reason behind addiction and what you're actually addicted to is so individualized that no one will ever wholly share your experience. Finding a community can be challenging.

But, despite it all, recovery is a unique, beautiful, enlightening experience. If I were given the choice to go back and make it so I'd never had any of it happen, I would choose that option in a heartbeat. Still, I know in the depths of my soul, I'd be trading away some of the most raw, vulnerable, and profound lessons of my life in favor of blissful ignorance.

Above all else, I hope if you write a character in recovery, you try to portray them as you would anyone else—a nuanced and interesting human being 🫶