#actually you know what? fuck you im adding the
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sweet when you lie â park sunghoon
pairing: sunghoon x fem!reader
genre: smut, angst wc: 1.4k
synopsis: in which park sunghoon is your favorite coping mechanismâ unfortunately, it makes matters worse.
tags/warnings: SMUT! MDNI! angst, crying (sexy and not sexy), rough unprotected sex, some fingering, one usage of the word slut, creampie, no happy ending because ew!, short and not so sweet. barely proofread! completely rawdogged <3
đ: this is sloppy and quick (just how i like it) sowwwyyy! im gonna try to release short pieces like this while i work on my actual wip list because im slow writer and i am obsessed with long fics.
it was one of those nights. the one where the tears refused to stop and your body didnât dare move from its spot in the corner of your bed. your room was dark and it only added to the loneliness.
everything in the past few months had hit you like a truck and all it took was one more bad day to really top it off. you could reach out to a friend, one willing to be the shoulder you could cry on. but thatâs not what you wanted, you were stubborn and refused to show vulnerability. this would pass. it always does.
but the tears just didnât stop. you could drink, but then what? cry some more?
so you choose an even healthier coping mechanism.
sunghoon.
a close friend turned friend with benefits. you text him, a single are you busy would suffice, he would know immediately.
it doesnât take long for him to respond, letting you know his eta.Â
this alone is enough to make you wipe your eyes and change your outfit, ripping off the oversized tee and throwing on a small dainty tank top, not bothering with pants. you need him to get straight to the point.
moments pass and your front door is being unlocked, of course he has a key, why wouldnât he?
a few words are exchanged, heâs about to ask about your wellbeing but you cut him off with your arms around his neck and your lips ghosting his. begging him to fuck you.
âfuckâ sunghoon, please.â you groan, his fingers curling inside of you but it's not enough. it takes one look from you to let sunghoon know that you want it rough and you want it now.
he pulls his fingers out of you and unbuckles his belt, quickly discarding it along with his jeans, âso fucking needy.âÂ
you hum and sit up, attempting to touch him but he shakes his head and pushes you roughly back onto the mattress.Â
âbarely let me walk through the door before you were all over me.â he continues, crawling closer to you. sunghoon suddenly grabs your hips and forces you to flip, situating you on your hands and knees. âcanât even let me prep you because you just wanna get fucked like a slut, huh?â
âyesyesâ please just..â your sentence is cut off when he roughly enters you, ripping a loud groan from your throat. he wastes no time setting a pace, thrusting into you at a quick speed.
you reach your hand beneath you to rub at your clit, but sunghoon grabs your wrist instead, pinning it behind your back and pushing your face and chest into the mattress and he slams into you.
heâs never too talkative when he fucks you, just enough to keep you wet. he knows what you like to hear and god does he know what you want.Â
youâre already reaching your peak, the new position only bringing you closer and closer to the edge. âmâ cummingâ ah!â
sunghoon groans, letting out a few curses as he continues to plow you from behind. his fingers dig into your wrists and he presses the arch of your back, fucking deeper into you.
not even moments later youâre clenching, thighs trembling as he fucks you hard and deep as you cream around his cock.
âfuck,â he mutters, flipping you over. youâre not even sure if he came or not, your head was spinning from being squished into your pillows like that but you manage to squeak out a small âmoreâ.
heâs panting but you know better than anyone else that his stamina could last the whole fucking night. sunghoon pushes your knees to your chest and enters your cunt once more.
his strokes this time are long and deep, he's groaning softly and the pressure of his cock is enough to bring tears to your eyesâ but you love the overstimulation. itâs mind blurring and thatâs exactly what you needed.
he quickens his thrusts, fucking you into a mating press. youâre gasping and whimpering, tears falling down your cheek.
âso fucking good,â his face is mere centimeters from yours. he captures your lips in a rough kiss, bitting and pulling at your bottom lip.Â
his lips travel down your neck, then to your chest. everywhere he goesâ heâs biting and leaving marks. the only times youâve ever kissed him, it was rough and desperate. you wonder for a moment if you would get a chance to steal soft kisses from him.
that thought is ripped away when he sits up again, fucking into you breathlessly. a loud groan escapes your throat as the head of his cock is knocking against your cervix, painful but in the most delicious way possible.
youâre already cumming around his cock again, and heâs quick to follow after you after a few sloppy thrusts.
this continues a few more rounds, youâre insatiableâ more than usual. sunghoon doesnât mind though, nor does he question it, as long as he gets to fuck the life out of you.
heâs panting when he finally pulls out of you, youâre finally spent. of course, he could go again, but he canât literally fuck the life out of you.
sunghoon plants a chaste kiss onto your knee and sits up, he stretches his body and rolls his neck to release any tension. his forehead is covered in sweat and he uses it to push back his hair. he exits your room and you sit up, cringing at the way your sheets stick to your sweaty body,Â
you sit up against your headboard, youâre already sore and your cunt is pulsing from the past hour of abuse it went through.
tears form in your eyes and you almost get angry when they fall. why couldnât it wait until sunghoon had left? the thought only forces more tears out of you and now you're a whimpering mess.Â
sunghoon returns with a few wet wipes you keep in your bathroom. you wipe at your eyes and bite down on your tongue to control the tears, they donât stop but they do slow down.
heâs wiping you down with care, it makes you cry more. sunghoon notices of course, but the poor boy doesnât know what to do. heâs seen you cryâ but when his cock was down your throat or if you were drunk and incoherent.
the soft touch of his hands as he cleans up the cum spilling onto your thighs makes you wish it was something more. that heâd stay and hold you.
everytime youâve thought of sunghoon in a way thats more intimate than a fuck buddy, youâre usually quick to empty yourself of those thoughts. heâs nothing more and you both know that. he has commitment issues and you have baggage, thatâs been made clearâ especially tonight with the amount of tears thatâs been spilled.
he wants to ask if youâre okay, heâs almost having trouble ripping his eyes away from your watery ones.
you tell him to leave, that youâre okay to take care of yourself and your soiled sheets. but god you almost need him to stay.Â
sunghoon feels awkward, he does care about you but heâs even more careful to not cross any lines. heâs aloof, and usually stone cold but heâs not a monster. he canât blur the lines for you.
he can tell youâre an emotional wreck right now and it leaves him confused.
stepping away from you, he clothes himself without a word, he hands you the oversized shirt you changed out of earlier before he cameâ he helps you put it on.
your chest hurts. you need him in a different way now, but you canât have him.
you canât have each other.
âjust- just go, i got it.â you mutter, legs trembling as you stand up to walk him out. sunghoon feels horrible leaving you in a state like this, but he really can't stay.Â
âsleep well.â he quietly says before exiting your apartment.
you nod, head leaning against your door, âmhm. get home safe.â
and with that, your front door is shut and youâre once again clouded with every emotion from before. a new one added to the mountain of issues, yearning for a boy you know you couldnât have. a silent promise to each other that you would never break the pact you made.
use each other and nothing more.
do not repost or translate please.
#enhypen x reader#enhypen smut#sunghoon x reader#enhypen hard thoughts#enhypen imagines#enhypen fanfiction#sunghoon hard thoughts#sunghoon hard hours#sunghoon smut#sunghoon fanfic#sunghoon imagines#kpop fanfic#kpop smut#sunghoon angst#enhypen angst#uhhhhhhh
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i dont want to reveal my identity (youll see why in a sec lol) so im saying this here rather than my main account cause im relatively well known in redacted tumblr (annnd im a pussy and this is sort of weighing on me a bit).
i dont know how to say it but there are these chats?? like mainly on discord and instagram and i think some other places too (idk i dont have twitter or x or whatever but i think theres one there too) where people have lists of these accounts they dont like and resolve to 'punish them'. im sure im explaining this terribly but i cant really say much without the people in these chats instantly knowing who i am and adding me to their insane hate pile puritan police bullshit.
i got added to one of the discord chats in august by a mutual from a redacted server i was in (not the main one like some fan one from tumblr) and genuinely? it is fucking insane. think genuine csi shit. like sorting people into who supports 'problematic ships' and 'supports problematic characters' or who are 'rape apologists' or even just 'icky' and genuinely allocating certain people to harass and threaten them. and i mean seriously organising. as in scheduling when to spam anons or making hate posts or trying to work out their real identities to 'drill the lesson in' (actual quote).
whats worse is that many bigger accounts in the fandom are in these chats. like people ive been friendly with for months (if not years) who i thought were cool, but then act completely different there. i wont name drop or anything, mainly to respect the rules of this blog and preserve my own identity (cause god knows they dont deserve that after some of the shit theyve said and done), but if youre in redacted tumblr, you defintely know at least some of them. 100% you do.
ive gone out of my way to warn some of these accounts ive seen on there frequently (so if you got an anon warning you about these chats hello!! its me!!) but i cannot understate how fucking crazy they are. not only do these supposed 'progressive accepting people' resort to misogyny, transphobia, homophobia and racism (esp this one, jesus the slurs) towards any account they dont like, they also genuinely view themselves as these insane moral authorities set on 'cleansing the fandom of the filth' (another actual quote from one of the discord chats. i genuinely had to take a lap after reading it bc it was so cringe and insane it physically hurt)
i swear im telling the truth with this btw, i know it sounds so stupid and unbelievable but i just needed to get it out of my system because ive been lurking in this chat and i feel kinda responsible for all the hate these poor people are getting, since im not standing up against them. so to anyone whos received heavy hate for 'problematic opinions' im really fucking sorry man. i shoulda tried to put a stop to it but there were so many big accounts there i was afraid of getting ostracised from the community or targeted myself.
anyway, point is. be careful. watch ur faves. and god, everyone in this moral brigade stop being so fucking demented. youre making this unfun for everyone.
(thank you for giving a space for me to speak about this btw bc i genuinely dont know how i wouldve told people widescale otherwise. i really appreciate the space you provide for us all <33 )
.
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Hello!!! I love your art and your style. I'd love to hear your inspirations behind how you draw and, in addition, hear a bit about your painting process (I love the impressionistic look your paintings have)
ahh!!! thank you so much ;u;
Ill tried my best to break down my thought process behind my drawing, so i hope this all makes sense aahaha
undercut cause it came out real long
SO Karl Gnass is an instructor that i took an anatomy class with. and who broke down anatomy in a way that really helped me grasp space. like space a figure occupies. and from that i think my characters feel a bit more...grounded? im not sure what the right word would be but tangible is something people sometimes say about my art.
And i do think when youre able to make a figure look like its really wrapping its hands around something it makes character interactions a lot more intimate.
heres a few under sketches i do when i start a drawing (i am trying REALLY hard not to use my nsfw ones tho those are pretty perfect when it comes to showing u anatomy RIP)
after i got the poses done ill turn down the opacity and rough sketch out details on top of these. and once THATS done i move onto lineart. and the most important aspect of this step is NOT TO TRACE YOUR UNDER DRAWING!!!! thats what sucks the life out of your work!!!!
instead you use your undersketch as a guide. ilI actually redraw the simple anatomy underneath very lightly, erase where they over lap and then add line weight variety + darken up the details.
examples of this are gonna look a little messy but. Left is the original pose i drew out with rough details. right is the drawing i do on top of it. you'll see theyre not one to one and theres some lines i didnt fully erase out when redoing the anatomy. i find my clean up has a lot more energy when i do this.
the thing about my style is that you'll notice i never actually do actual clean smooth lineart. and thats because i HATE DOING THAT SHIT. like i did learn how to do it and consistently forced myself to do it for over a year. and while i do think i learned a lot about line weight and drawing clearer. i realized? its just not for me. I like a textured brush and i like being able to see those small lines i didnt get to fully erase out because i think they look cool lol and thats ok!! do what you want forever man!!! its your art!!!
Also before i move onto painting ill show you this neat little trick. you know those more "loose" drawings of mine that feel more gestural? the begining process is exactly the same. the difference is i use a chunkier pen and try to see how much i can simplify details + just feel out the energy of lines
NOW PAINTING.
man. where to even start.
the thing about painting is that its an entire different set of skills that need to each be honed on their own and will slowly build up together. ill break it down like this.
VALUE, COLOR, and TECHNIQUE
I've said this on another ask before but you'll notice ill do a lot of black and white sketches. and i do that to practice choosing how to group values.
like this example. how light is laios' wolf coat compared to his skin? or kabrus skin color compard to laios coat. when do you want to really push the contrast of light and dark and when do you let values be closer to each other when you DONT want attention
the next step from this is adding a light source.
and when you're working in black and white its a lot easier to pay more attention where you want your light/how its gonna look like hitting youre characters and how far youre gonna push your shadows.
and you know if you get good at this you can play with limited color palletes
this is literally just be picking out blues and hitting the bottom with the gradient tool to light it up
NOW COLOR
is a lot harder and also very subjective. I do a ton of impressionist studies where i just color pick the fuck out of a piece to see what colors masters used + knowing the history of paint and what colors were available during that time period. +knowing what colors = what mood + knowing what colors to use when you want to be more realistic vs when you want to lean into more stylized+ what colors YOU specially incline towards + AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
its a lot and im actually still learning myself
But when i do a painting i collect a LOT of refrences of the kind of mood i want my own painting to feeling like. I've show the first example in another ask before but heres one from my latest labru too
WHen i actually start a painting tho they look like this. The top drawings are just flat colors with a simple outline of where i want the light to be hitting. like in my value studies im just trying to get the idea down, seeing what values need to be darker vs what is lighter. and how the light source covers the character.
figuring this out in the begining makes the rest of the painting so much easier because youve essentially made all the big compostion decisions NOW. from here you can start playing with colors.
my second stage, youll see with drawings at the bottom, is when i start using my texture brush to lay in extra shadows and just play with variety.
and then? i start rendering
that would be TECHNIQUE
And well....thats also something thats gonna be very subjective.
With my own style im not interested in rendering everything to perfection. Im trying to figure out how to texture hair/skin/clothes in ways that make them feel like the materials they are while also showing the energy of my brushstrokes.
I dont zoom in while i paint btw. everything i do is zoomed out so i can see the entire drawing. it helps me not tight up my strokes while also letting me build up all areas of the painting equally. the only time i zoom in is when im lining out the eyes/mouth of a character. and yeah. it drives me insane doing this because ITS SOOOOO Tempting to obsess over paint 1 area forever then zoom out and see that nothing matches lol
The other thing about my style of painting. Is that im not gonna use the exact same formula for every piece. like this isnt cell shading. you can have an idea of how to texture skin/clothes/hair and sometimes it looks great and beautiful in one painting and then it looks like shit in another. ive overhauled a lot of paintings multiple times because what i thought would work doesnt and ive had to force myself to explore and play with my brushstrokes. and you know? i wouldnt have it any other way. it means none of my paintings are gonna look alike! and i think thats pretty cool :D
ill leave you with this in the end. a painting im in the middle of doing and debating to overhaul cause im just not feeling the strokes. who knows what ill look like in the end
anyways i hope this helped a little? even if you look at all this and go. IM NEVER GONNA DRAW LIKE THIS BOZO ahahah
BUT I WISH YOU LUCK ON YOUR OWN ARTS :DDDD
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let characters be dedicated to other characters without making it romantic challenge (impossible)
#quick vent post because omg finding gen fics of my favorite characters with the canon dynamic is absolutely impossible#for once this is not about ffvii actually#when a jo speaks#actually you know what? fuck you im adding the#aromantic#aro#tags because theyre very relevant
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fairly odd parents still infecting my brain have a redraw
og screenshot ^ im already working on stuff with backgrounds i dont need to make even more
#fop#fopanw#dev dimmadome#fairly odd parents#the fairly oddparents#fairly oddparents#development devin dimmadome#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop dev#fop a new wish#fanart#from here on out are my own tags#memo's constellations#âłïž#:dev#ahhhh millions of different tags for one thing i did not miss you#I STILL GOT IT THO! it being creating actual full lined pieces#very fun drawing. back to the reference sheet and animation mines for me though#i dont think i said it but i'm actually animating in fopanw reanimated!!#this drawing was just a quick break and also to make a discord icon thats my own art#i havent been so hyperfixated on something since fuck. i dont even know#but this show is taking over my mind dogggg its all i can think about#i keep saying this but#if you told me like a year ago that id be being really ill about doug dimmadome owner of the dimmsdale dimmadome etc's grandson#to the point of adding him to my fucking kinlist which hasnt been updated in fucking months#i would not believe you#but. here we are LOL#if you think im insane. honestly i dont know what to say except watch anw cause Jeeeesus christ dev dimmadome is one fucked up kid#okay sorry for ranting in the tagsss certified memo moment of ranting in the tags. its over now BYE <3
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wrestling fic writers!!
i have decided to be the change i wanna see, so lets do a nice little thing for each other, as a community full of incredible and talented writers. yes this is writer specific only, but thats cause thats where the main problem of people not interacting with creative works lies in this fandom as far as i can tell and have seen people talking about it especially in the last couple of months
if you read this, please add links to your written works. it can be just a single fic youre really proud of, your writing blog, your writing tag, your ao3 account, anything where your works can be found
and if you leave your link here, PLEASE check out someone else that has left their works, and interact with them. leave them a comment, even just a kudos, REBLOG their fic, etc. interacting is the keyword i want to emphasize here, along with building a sort of a masterpost of where to find people writing in this fandom
and if you are not a writer, youre still highly encouraged to interact with this post and share it and show love to the writers in this fandom, obviously!! i think that should go without saying, but adding it in anyways
a bit more about my vision and resources and such under the read more, but thats the gist of it. happy linking and please be kind and supportive to each other!! đ
nobody is too big or too small to add their things on this list. if you write and post anything in this fandom whatsoever, be it fics or drabbles or headcanons, any companies or any kind of ships or reader inserts or any content whatsoever no matter how 'dead dove dont eat' or hell even if its just meta, we welcome all here and nobody can say that one thing is less valid than another. just please tag your content accordingly, especially if theres content warnings, and feel free to mention what you write, who you write, any info you wish to leave that would help people before they click on your links. but even so, that should not and hopefully will not deter people from interacting, no matter what it is. someones trash is another ones treasure, i promise you
and unless the amount gets really overwhelming, im personally going to be checking out everyone that leaves something here. unless it squeaks me out, but even then, i'll spread the word. and i just wish as many people as possible will do the same, and not just use this as a potential board to only get eyes on their stuff. ofc thats also the point, but you should give as much, if not more, than you get. we need to be kind and supportive of one another (besides, from personal experience, if you show love to someone else, they are more likely to do it back than without you taking the first step, so... pay it forward)
as for resources, heres a few links that should be helpful in leaving comments and feedback. of course everyone does their own thing and no comment is too big or too small to leave, but for those who need them. if you have anything you'd like added to this list, dont hesitate to get in touch or drop it in the post yourself!!
101 comment starters
ao3 floating comment box
kudos html
dont know how to comment? easy solutions
a quick hot guide to commenting (by yours truly)
an overall guide to appreciating fanfic writers
and just in general.. leave people comments. leave them asks about their projects. just go over and gush about their work. i know it sounds embarrassing but writers love nothing more than to hear that someone likes what they are doing. if you find a fic that hasnt been updated in forever, comment on it. it might just be the spark the author needs to continue. while kudos and likes are nice, and just as valuable to some, its definitely in the words the people leave for them that matter the most. im not saying this to put pressure on anyone, its just how it is, and i feel like unless people are writers themselves, and even then sometimes, thats just hard to grasp, especially if the writer is a smaller and less popular one who doesnt get a lot of traffic in the first place
i think thats all. just be nice and considered to everyone, reblog peoples works, this post with others add ons and so forth. and if i find anyone talking shit here or at other writers for something they share, you'll be blocked and im probably taking your kneecaps. be fucking nice. we are all struggling here and we need to stick together
happy sharing and commenting đđ
#wrestling fanfiction#wrestling fic#aew fanfic#aew fanfiction#wwe fanfiction#wwe fanfic#i hope this make some sort of coherent sense#despite being a writer im really bad at words lmao#i also dont know what to tag this with without clogging main tags so im going to trust moots to get this going first#just. this is a topic im passionate about. i love writing i love writers and having seen the wrestling fandom as of late really struggling#with this. we need to do something. even a little bit helps. actually get people leaving feedback and commenting again#supporting each other. we can do this together#dont let dreams be dreams lets fucking do this#just be nice and help each other out#im gonna stop now before i get overly emotional. if theres any questions let me know tho i think i got the main parts pretty clear here#again moots. im trusting you to get this started. im not gonna add my own shit here immediately this isnt about me#this is about the community as a whole#i also hope nobody is afraid of adding themselves here. you are all valid and worth the attention no matter what#just remember to also give if you leave something here. look at the previous links. look in the notes to find more people#okay thats it i need to make dinner now#lets just be kind and support one another. promise me that đ#night is an absolute mess on main
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quick like 3 hour thing to sate my desire to see Narinder But As A Bishop. i tried to emulate the game style as much as possible, and i used shamura and heket as the primary references for the robe design
#shakes him like a squeaky toy. fucked up cat !!!#art#cult of the lamb#narinder cotl#so interesting thing i noticed while looking at the other bishops#so heket is the only one out of her shamura and kallamar that has the horizontal line through the red pupil#but LESHY. while he has his eye covered in this form of his . if you look at his eldritch form with the blindfold off. he also has the#horizontal thing in his pupil then#i thought maybe its the eldritch forms only then but no. even shamura and kallamar's eldritch forms dont have it#so it is strictly a leshy and heket thing#dont know what it means but whatever. thought it'd be neat to include for narinder as well. <3#WAIT SORRY almost forgot to add what was the actual deciding factor to that rather than just whatever:#narinder's eldritch form does in fact have the horizontal lines in his pupils as well#so that was what made me say whatever to also adding it to his non eldritch bishop form here. <3#anyway literally boring ass stock pose against a white bg but i just wanted to focus on the design + copying the game style as much as#possible which im actually really happy with. obv i cant do 1:1 but i think i got pretty close. so. :3
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Keith walking into the holding cell greeting all the regulars by name while Lance is sobbing lamenting that his life is over and his future is ruined (they were like. Trespassing or some shit heâs going to be fine)
lance: (actively dry heaving in the corner, on the verge of a panic attack as he imagines having a permanent record)(actually what does a permanent record even look like?)(omg is he going to have to go to COURT? like in JUDGE JUDY?)
keith: remy, this is lance. lance, this is remy, sheâs my favorite alcoholic :)
#voltron#klance#honestly I imagine they got caught trespassing while ghost hunting#if theyâre in Texas then they will most likely get a full on misdemeanor on their record. Texas is very big on property rights.#trespassing can quickly elevate to criminal charges in texas it is actually very serious. do not trespass in texas.#meanwhile in Maine trespassing can be just an infraction & not added to your record#like sure they're teenagers so they could get their records sealed or expunged when they're 18. but like. the garrison would know. not good#sorry i just like talking about the law#speaking of which let me go on a tangent#i do think keith frequently gets charged with trespassing. at his own shack in the desert.#and so now he is Really good at juvenile law specifically because he is constantly arguing with cops#keith: this is not trespassing. my dad owned this property & he died unmarried without a will.#keith: i am literally his child and i inherited this land after his death YOU CAN'T ARREST ME FOR TRESPASSING ON MY OWN PROPERTY.#cop: okay well the house is all burned down it's a safety hazard#keith: I AM NOT IN THE HOUSE I AM IN THE SHACK WHICH MEETS MINIMUM SAFETY REQUIREMENTS. GET FUCKED.#cop: okay but you're out after curfew--#keith: is this a game to you? drag me in front of that judge i DARE you. you want to take the ORPHAN to court over CURFEW?#keith: you want to arrest my parents? WHAT PARENTS? everyone in this county knows me as the son of a hero firefighter.#keith: a hero firefighter who died in the line of duty btw. in case you forgot. since i'm an ORPHAN who has no one who CARES about CURFEW.#keith: my dad is dead my mom is gone my brother disappeared in space im 0 for 3 parents-wise. drag me before a judge. make my fucking night#sometimes i answer an ask or make a post specifically so i can do my own separate thing in the tags#i just like talking about law. i'm so excited for law school u guys#keith#lance#lance: (freaking out)#keith: (relaxed because he knows a really good lawyer who specializes in juvenile law)#shitpost#ask#anonymous#otp: we are a good team
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pata hai last kuch din i was very busy with my project kyunki final dena tha and binding karni thi etc to wo karwayi then i went to the bookfair bekaar tha then parso submit karne jaa rahi to subah accident hogaya (bhai ki bike skid hogayi and we fell down) and now i have a big ass blue bruise on my upper thigh and my parents don't even know lmao and kal ek science conference thi to i had to sit in an auditorium for 6 hours listening to accomplished people speak. that's what you missed now your turn
omg i knew everything in this except for the accident cause i stalk your blog vigorously everyday are you okay!!!!!!!!!! did you get tetanus shots!!!!!!!!!! also on your upper thigh oh no that's where future jiju is supposed to write MINE na as per our beloved song guilty as sin?
#did u have fun at the conference it must've been cool huh women in stem and all that#bookfair being bad is so sucky i was so excited for you to go i thought you'd send pictures too of books we like#also u already know everything i posted everything and every thought#i ate chinese but it didn't feel that good because my sister isn't here and we didn't eat it together watching#koffee or splitsvilla and i realised that it's not just the chinese food it's the whole hanging out that i love sm :((#kal well i told you pata hai the brownie place we met it's kinda new and cool types so uske bathroom mein#there was a button and it said press at your own risk and when we did it became a dj like the lights went out and#there when flashing spinning disco lights and party songs were playing mere mein wo aaya hum toh naye andaz hai apna purana#it was sooo cool im adding it to the list of places you'll visit when u come here!!!!!!!#also the food was soooo shockingly reasonably priced everything was under 200 rs!!!!! which is big for a dessert place here#and like great quantity great taste too my stupid people from office used to say it's awesome but i didn't believe them and never tried it#because they're all losers lol but i grudgingly admit that they were right#also ummmm hmm okay pata hai i realised ki oh okay im happy with who i am#like bachpan mein i used to feel very sad and loser like because dad was too strict to let me go out raat ko and everyone in school would#go to this club we went to kal and i always felt i was missing out and i wanted to be all cool and fun too#but it was kinda so boring and normal and i was like wow okay i didn't miss out i was spending days and nights reading books being in#fandoms and i was actually very happy!!!!! so like yay idk small thing bt yk i realised that oh it was okay and everything will be okay too#i kinda want to talk to that guy now like i weirdly feel like im longing for what could've been? which is ridiculous because#we were 11 and i barely talked to him back then because shy and friends would tease and i didn't realise it was a crush#i don't want to DATE him because like tbh i already know we're very different people but like wouldn't it be fun to idk make out once#then i got the urge to download dating app but i resisted the urge and won i don't think im made for casual things#me and my bestie were laughing about this yesterday too she was like i just don't understand how people can have sex one day and then#not give a fuck about each other the next day like idk if we have sex im having your kids and i was like ikrrrr like bhai sex is toh very#big im going to be attached if we hug i literally did!!!!! so we decided no more casual/situationships for us#phew okay more rambling on whatsapp love u bye this became too long#saumyuuuuuu
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my stepdad's a real one fr...
#i mentioned that my mom called#and he left the room. came back. and put an edible in front of me#1) that was fucking Hilarious#2) thaaaaaaank GOD i need it#he was all like 'take that an hour before you go to bed#yes Sir đ«Ą gladly sir đ«Ą#i would've liked one with a bit more of a Kick to it but i am nooooot complaining!!!#*insert looping gif of the cat jumping up & down w/ added yippee sound effects*#absolutely unprompted#tonight i will finish the next comm. indulge in some laughingstock perhaps. and then get Stress Free via Tasty Nibble#oh i can't wait for it to kick in...#ive been so stressed for so long... whats it like to live without chest pain & nausea from Intense Anxiety.... i will soon know!#i think i will take the inner peace opportunity to actually eat something#bc when im this stressed i Cant. i simply cannot!#which is so unfortunate because food & eating is one of my favorite things! i love it so much!#and im being Deprived of it!!!!
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whatever dick decided to put adverts on prime video needs their balls chopped because why the fuck am I getting more ads watching shows legally than I ever have pirating.
#this is an actual joke#i am so fed up of money hungry corporations making my life more difficult than it has to be#arent prime rich enough?#they just wanna waste my god damn time and im sick of it.#YOUTUBE TOO#and any other site with ads#like get over yourself#AND TIKTOK#see even if im not seeing the official tiktok ads every second fucking video is someone trying to sell me some usless crap#i dont want to buy your cheap shit from tiktok shop im here for entertainment and thats it#i want someone to compile how much of my short life is spent watching ads#because life is fucking short and this is too much time to be wasting#(am i gonna stop and get off my ass? no probably not)#i just wanna watch the boys#ALSO WHO THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO HAVE SUPERNATURAL EXPIRE AT THE END OF THE MONTH#im losing my mind and you all get to hear it#prime i know where you live#amazon prime#the boys#supernatural#tiktok#YouTube#what else did i talk about?
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Knight Bobo, wearing some of the patterns I drew :D!
#LN#colored doodles#bobo#ft.#agata#louie#(sorry. long tags warning ÂŻ\ (ToT) /ÂŻ)#putting the blue patterns to use even if she wasn't the intended wearer for them (hey! big bro louie just has to learn how to share! lol.)#i am actually planning to draw all three of them more along with fafnir and some other nobodies. i criâ#speaking of fafnir!!! FAFNIR???!!! offering alcoholic drinks to nidhogg in the 9th anniversary hell event????!!!#fafnir who's helping agata bobo and louie against tyr?!! who has bobo on speed dial for info as she thwarts tyr's plans??? the guy whoâ on#the night louie leaves and visits him for a drinkâ offers him instead a hot cup of MILK and teasingly calls him a child?! ASADJFJDSK!!!#(there's layers to him offering that that makes it funnyâ i promise. he offers concoctions based on a person's personality? i think??? he#offered debbie a cup of milk that TASTES like books and mela something strong. losing it âđ) anyways he runs an INTEL TAVERN. is aware of#most things in the north. fuck. wait! omg??? what if he's the same tavern keeper from louie's dreamweaver??? regardless he is aiding#all three of them... somehow... and he's sharing a drink with nid which is funny cause nid is the same guy who has said before ''alcohol#destroys you mind and stops you from making the right choice đż'' and there's fafnir sliding a drink to a sad looking nid. asdjsfkgk#FAFNIR please đđđ!!! (fafnir sliding a drink to nid: make some bad choice tonight boy.)#anyways im just happy there's new fafnir art. i was not expecting it. or him alongside nid. fafnir's name is ALSO named after a dragon in#norse mythology. đ€ turning into a dragon is a symbol of greed. damn. imagine fafnir is ALSO from frigidfog? but then again...#OKAY I'LL STOP!!! (I WILL NOT!!! I AM LOSING MY MIND! THERE'S JUST SO MUCH I CAN PLAY AROUND WITH HERE!)#wait! okay okay okay. what if for some reason fafnir is ratatoskr đ đ? like the role he plays as an intelligence collector adds up#as louie said ''(fafnir) you're not even there yet you already know about it'' it's not far fetched#... i am officially losing it. im adding too much depth to a game that has time and time again made itself shallow đ
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OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE all this is happening and now I gotta go help the authorities with some shiny mill
#or at least they think it's a shiny mill#im saying thos on rotomblr bc we dont know what this actually is#also fuck shiny mills#hate those fuckers#none of you had better get added to the wheel of hospitalization while im gone#pokeblogging#irl pokemon#high stakes mention
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Hope youâre doing alright!! Sending you well wishes and lots of love
I cannot fuck it we ball for much longer
#i am doing okay tho#i got afk journey its been interesting#side note#ive been wanting to talk about this and I've decided this super nice and well meaning anon is going to be where i talk about this#have you guys seen the nu carnival ad? the animated one?#i saw it and i was like you know what sure ill install this#this has great production value and i like the character designs#i actually really fucking love eidens design????#i install it#and boom#im watching my mc get his dick sucked#like i know its the censored version but GOD DAMN GOOGLE PLAY#not that i have anything against it I'm all for it#but i was so surprised#anyways thats been holding together my sanity#super duper big mwah#lovely anon#anon ask
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i am slow cooking the most delicious of concoctions in the kitchen rn
(my tags are so long lol whole half ass recipe down there)
#idk its some bastardized recipe for something called mongolian beef#well can it really be called bastardized when i actually fuckin improved it#like all there was originally was fucking soy sauce garlic brown sugar and onion#LITERALLY NO SEASONING#so i took my earned skills and actuallly made it good#the sauce is now flavorful and doesnt taste like garlic soywater#(the meat gets slow cooked in the sauce thats how i know how the sauce tastes)#added a teeny bit of mustard powder and cumin(half TBsp) added some ginger and onion powder(TBsp) and upgraded garlic to black garlic(TB)#it contained 1/2 cup of soy and 1/3 cup of Brown sugar#also replaced the water with beef broth(half cup)#theres also some oil(i did reg Veggie oil cause i dont like Sesame/ 1TB)#you serve ontop some seasoned/fried rice and mixed peppers/veggies thatve been lightly seasoned and fried in a skillet#the meat(1 1/4 Lb.) gets cleaned and sliced into strips#you leave the strips in a heavy salt solution to leach it/tenderize it(you can use other methods but this was what i had on hand) then rins#(you leave it in the solution for ATLEAST 30 minutes)#pat the strips down dry and using a 1/4 cup of Corn starch you coat the strips entirely#you then put the meat into your sauce and stir it around until the meat is entirely covered in it#then slow cook for however long you want(im doing 8 hours for some REAL tender shit)#alot of these measurements were eyed balled (except starch and liquids)[im skilled at this]#i will update yall once ive tasted the finished product#i went a little light on the seasoning but i dont have certain ingredients i want/can obtain so i had to make do(plus my parents cant shiit#DO NOT ADD EXTRA SALT TO THE DISH#leaching the meat and the soy sauce already has enough salt content#THE STARCH IS NECESSARY PART OF THE DISH#you can achieve black garlic by slow cooking regular garlic FOR WEEKS#longer = better#also i recommend using minced Ginger instead of powder for better flavour
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mother: "theres this great job where you'd be on-call to come in!"
me: "ahhh i don't really want to be on-call, that would stress me out a lot because I'd always be on edge,,"
mother: "no you wouldn't, you could make it your thing!"
me: "...my thing?"
mother: "being on call! it'd be great! :)"
me: "i would probably be crying like... a lot ahaha. because I would always be on edge never knowing when to expect having to go into work, yknow?"
mother: "nooo, you could just make it a thing!"
me: "sorry, what do you mean by thing?"
AND I NEVER FOUND OUT !!
#i feel very ill fdsjkl tonight was ... not good#not the worst definitely not the worst#just. a lot of diet talk and making fun of other ppl that she expected us to all laugh at (and we did. idk if they found it funny.)#and brother labelling some influencer having rape charges against him just ''internet drama''#number one: i dont want to hear about that. number two: that is not just ''drama'' that is like. serious. what the fuck is wrong w youuuu#my mother will say that all the food i eat is very bad for me and do that while knowing full well i struggle to eat Anything#and say that simply Adding things to the diet is pointless bc ur poisoning urself still! u have to Take Out things! i cant fucking do that!#im still baffled that two years ago when i tried to go to them for help when i was almost fainting from not eating they just shrugged at me#''okay? why are u telling us this?'' BECAUSE YOU ARE MY PARENTS. AND I AM TRYING TO GET HELP.#i should've known better than to try tbh but like. its so hard to completely let go of every sliver of hope that they'll... be kind#like me saying i was feeling suicidal a few yrs ago just garnered a ''oh don't start this again. we're not doing this again.''#and me admitting my own damn self to the psych ward just had her telling me ''i dont think you actually needed to go :/''#mother dearest if it werent for the other fuckers in the brain (caused by you abusing me) then i would've been dead several times over#i am so fucking tired i am so sick of these ppl it is so incredibly painful and terrifying that this is supposed to be my family#this is the one support system i get in life. and it is no support system at all. i am fucked !! i am so unbelievably fucked!!!#i know other ppl make it thru but they are much stronger than me. i am lacking something that they all have lmao. i am cowardly and weak!!!#i have been trying so fucking hard to figure out how to like. make this work. how to survive in this society and its just. impossible#i think we're back to the clock ticking down as my bank account runs out#i cannot be employed and ppl keep telling me disability won't accept me so i am just. unanimously fucked over i suppose#i have two years !! two years until i run out of money!!! thats a lot of time!! to make all the art i want to make!!#i will make this work for these two years i will cope and make my art and disconnect and daydream through the intolerable parts#i will make these two years so good sdfjkl im gonna make it to the end of them#sorry this is all coming flooding out fsjdkl i've just tried so hard to be like. positive abt things and laugh abt things and be okay#im tired of trying to make it okay fdsjkl i am wallowing tonight i guess. boohoo poor little me fdsjkl i'll probably get over it soon#just need to like. let a little of the pressure leak out so i don't completely crack and do smth stupid#it will be okay !!! or as okay as it can be !!! this will be blocked out by tomorrow morning probably!!#or it'll have to be LMAO i have my silly old lady yarn group tomorrow and i need to be Normal for that#suicide tw#abuse tw#ed tw
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