#actually im adding a photo of what im talking about. I HAD TO SEARCH SO FUCKING HARD FOR THIS

[s4ndg3m]

my bg3 character, sepher, who is of course a red dragonborn barbarian berzerker. initially i wanted to romance that vampire twink but instead lae'zel has romanced ME. (very politely adds polyamory mod to game)

[chaeyoei]

Helooo, I’m back with more Jing yuan food. Imagine a Jing yuan that turned into a cat because some assassin accidentally mixed up the poisons with a transformation potion. So you have to take care of him since well…ur his partner. If I was taking care of cat yuan, I’d tie a red ribbon on him just like his human form. Cat yuan food fur u. Bai <33

Lmao you're keeping my mediocre writing spirit up oh well. Grammatical mistakes obv.

"Honey.. where are you?" You searched through your house. Getting slightly concerned as Jing Yuan was nowhere to be found. He could be in his office due to an emergency but he took a day off today.

"Meow."

That startled you. Did he bring home a cat?

You opened the bedroom door to be greeted by a white cat standing ontop of an unconscious body.

"Jing Yuan!" You rushed forward thinking that the person was Jing Yuan but upon getting closer and closer, your brows furrowed and your steps hatled.

It was a man dressed in black, not to mention he had a weapon. You crouched near it, trying to see the face underneath. There's a chance it could be him.

"Meow!" The cat jumped on you. Occupying your plam by jumping on it. It was so befuddling.

Something told you that this feline was your husband. The suspicion rose when you realise that cats don't have an eye covered by their hair. "Jing Yuan?" You hoped that this cat could understand you and he actually nodded with a meow.

Well whatever that was, you called the Knights and the man caught was an assassin. It took a day but you connected the dots and confirmed that the white feline was indeed your husband.

Cat Jing Yuan.. oh boy. Im going to keep it short because I have to sleep.

After coming to the realisation you had no choice but take care of your now cat husband. But for Jing Yuan..

This was a vacation he never knew he needed.

Getting to lay in your wife's lap all day, getting hugs, kisses and pats and having to not worry about work. Sign him up.

"Meow." The cat purred feeling your fingers glide through his fur.

"You're really enjoying this, huh? The assassin that mixed the chemical is being held in the shackling prison."

Honestly, he loves that stupid assassin now for giving him a free vacation. Maybe, he can ask the dude for one more....

Fu Xuan and Yanqing.

"Lady Y/N, do you know where General Jing Yuan is?" The blonde child asked, in search of his master.

"..."

"He needs to get back to work. Everyone's asking where he is." The Master Diviner grumbled, distressed by the intense questioning she has to answer.

"He... umm." You glanced at the cat who shook his head no. "So, Jing Yuan was poisoned by an assassin in his sleep, he's in no state of working."

"What?!" Both of them shouted in unison.

"General is bed ridden?" Yanqing was concerned.

"..That's not good." Fu Xuan sighed. Her frustration having turned into somewhat sympathy. "I need to keep my omnisa activated every now and then."

"I'll tell the other generals about that situation." She added.

Watching this in your arms, Jing Yuan felt a little guilty. This was becoming his guilty pleasure at this rate.

"Oh Lady Y/N, did you get a new cat?" Yanqing changed the topic.

"Yes."

"..Strange. It almost looks like him." The Lady Diviner was catching on.

Now to the thing you were talking about.

"..Jing Yuan, would you mind a red collar?" You asked the fluffy feline occupying your lap. You had to ask because it would look cute on him but did he want it as well?

"Meow." He agreed after a minute.

You giddily put the collar and ofcourse had to take a picture. Maybe you can collage the photo of human him and cat him and use it as phone wallpaper.

Lingsha. Idk why but I had to do it.

"Hmm.." The lady giggled. "Almost amusing to see the Loufu general be reduced to a mere cat."

"How long do you think the postion lasts, Lady Lingsha?"

"It's been 2 days, you say. The potion's effect lasts for a week so 5 more days remain until the Loufu General becomes himself." The Cauldron Master answered with an amused look.

Fu Xuan.. Again.

"So it was you, General." Fu Xual glared at the cat. Jing Yuan hid behind your figure.

"I apologise for lying, Lady Fu."

She sighed. "I suppose there's nothing to be done. How more until he turns back?"

"4 more days."

The pink haired woman shook her head in defeat.

I know it makes no sense.

People were beggining to question you as well. It was a bit overwhelming at times. But luckily, your cat husband was there to be your plushie.

Things he doesn't like as a cat.

Now being pampered is fine and all but it started to get boring when he had nothing to do but laze around. He also couldn't embrace you or keep you in his arms and lap anymore (obviously). It was.. irritating to say the least.

Yep I'm not happy with this. I'll update this if I can.

[willothewispwisteriadawn]

This may be a long ask because I like to yap lol

Honestly, I feel like one of the most realistic possibilities/best addition they could give us in the remaster is: more clues to find that would provide more insight to the characters and their relationships to one another. I feel like there’s many great opportunities for them to do that with the characters, especially the Washington’s (which I would happily take as a win because they are so interesting to me and we didn’t really get to know Hannah and Beth). First opportunity that comes to mind is when Sam finds Josh’s phone. This is probably me totally being biased because I want more Josh content even though he is the character that has the most lore (sue me) but I feel like we didn’t really get to see him genuinely interact with most of the characters. I mean there were obviously moments that I believe Josh was being genuine, but most of it was definitely a mask *pun intended* and him being devious. They could add some text interactions between him and all other members of the group or allow you to just kind of search through his phone. Because I’m a JoshxSam enthusiast I would geek if they had a couple of flirty messages between the two or texts that show them being what each other needs. Hell, throw in a couple messages between him and Chris where they both talk about their crushes (and more texts between him and Josh in general because friendship goals). I mean the devs used to look through Reddit so they know what the ppl want. Why not make JoshxSam Semi-Canon 9 yeas later LMAO?! I’d also like to know if Josh is really girl crazy or if it’s an attempt at being normal so seeing some brief talk surrounding Josh’s love life or affairs would be rather entertaining to me.

Another cool thing they could do with his phone is have it to where you can go to the photos app and get to see photos he’s taken. They could even have you be able to open his email and find things regarding school or his interest ect. 

Since I mentioned the photo app, They could also add like a scrapbook in Beth‘s room where she writes little notes about the characters to give insight about her relationships to the characters or memories she’s had with the group and her family. All the devs gotta do is add a couple more badly photoshopped edits to the game /lh.

Another thing I think they could do is add a couple more rooms that you can explore, maybe like two or three. One: Josh‘s bedroom, Two: Bobs office where maybe you can find emails on his computer regarding Josh’s psyche, talks of Hannah and Beth’s disappearance/memories of them, some personal journal entries that talk about the dynamic of their family, history of the land and their encounters with the suspicious activity that takes place on the mountain. It’s been a few years since I’ve watched the video game fully so maybe some of this is in there because I think I remember you being able to find police report Melinda made regarding noises. ORRRR im making things up.

This would be an easier way to add some content without actually needing the actors to be there. What do you think? Do you think it is plausible? 

Yap away, Anon!!! Honestly, we all need to get used to reading detailed thoughts again 😂. It’s healthy.

Anyway, I love this!!! I mean, I am a SUCKER for putting pieces together via settings and items. (I am weirdly attached to the fact that you can find one of Bob’s trophies for a film called “Blood Monastery,” because it loops back to Chris finding the monk outfit in the basement). I just geek over anything that makes the world feel detailed and connected. So I love the idea of adding content to Josh’s phone! You’re right; it’s a very easy way to add more lore and fun interactions (absolutely give me texts between Josh and Sam or Josh and Chris!!!).

I also like the idea of seeing Josh and Beth’s rooms, because I thought Hannah’s was VERY well done. You can glean so much about her from her bedroom. Whoever designed her room did a stellar job. Beth is the least developed notable character in the whole game, acting as a bit more of an exposition machine than character at points, so I’d love stuff to further humanize her like what we saw for Hannah.

Anyway, Ballistic Moon DID confirm new footage/story animation (though it seems limited)— along with more collectibles and interactions, so your idea is quite feasible, actually! Meaghan Martin has confirmed she recorded a little bit for the remake, and there have been vague leaks of Jessica. So we will be getting some new voice work/face animations for at least some characters.

In a weird way, I hope it truly is all minor additions. I definitely want certain things cleaned up and emphasized and whatnot, but I’m also nervous that a lot of new content might include things that don’t align with the tone or lore of the original (though, there have been official statements saying the devs worked hard to ensure new content keeps with the integrity of the old. And Ballistic Moon has many workers who’d worked on Until Dawn before).

I think the following things are also realistic:

Adding Emily and Matt’s “extra” chapter back into the game. That really should not have been removed as a pre-order bonus. It’s part of the story.

I think they could recycle some PS3 content for Mike and Chris. Brett Dalton and Noah Fleiss joined the project in its PS3 phase. So they have recorded content for Mike and Chris that was scrapped along with parts of that prototype that didn’t make it into the finished project. Now, I think some things were very much scrapped for a reason. All the characters changed a bit from then as did the tone and beats of the story. But I also think some stuff could potentially be added back even if Brett Dalton or Noah Fleiss can’t/decline to return.

Anyway, these are my thoughts! Thanks for the discussion!

[w-corp-clerk-anon]

The trip to the Outskirts

...or wathever my co-workers wants me to title this you may had noticed my abcense huh? i have quite the explaination... besides the fact that... once again... i remind you all to read the FaQ page in the official W-Corp site involving recent incidents with bloodfiends, wich is a story for another branch's worker here goes nothing: ((CW: doppelgangers, people being threated as expendables, mentions of a certain word that had another significance depending on the context, thievery, modification of company property, in-between possible others; simply adding this just in case

Afther recovering from the punch that Odysseus (fake name, due to laws involving inter-dimensional doppelgangers), me alongside the trio that likes to pester me...

-Awww... we all know you love us- -Aisha, wait your turn-

Where i was, oh yeah, me and the gang we were called alongside others for a retrieval of a displaced freight car that somehow reappeared in there. -So... they basically sending us, the low ranked employees, to go and search a freight car, TO THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!?- -Yes...- -And they refuse to tell us... WHAT'S INSIDE FOR THEM TO SEND US TO A LITERAL SUICIDE MISSION!!??- -Mhmmm....- -Dude, why aren't you bothered?- -Because im pretty sure is nothing compared to the amount of people getting jumped on for saying the word Σ, and ended becoming and actual Σ case- The sight of Larry panicking and Gary's dumbfounded expression were quite the sight, but we are not focusing on that... we are focusing on the fact the higher ups decided it would be a good idea to send us to the middle of nowhere to find said car.

-At least they had the decency to let us bring our weapons and gave us a list of what to pack inside the company trucks- -Yeah... im surprised on how those piece of junk with weels managed to work in the travel there and back- -you mean the fact you suggested, and actually did it, modifying the truck like it was that one madmax movie? when it turned out we only could had stole some stupid fish from a neirghbouring village?!- -Geez, Lars, what a buzzkill- -Well... EXCUUUSEEE MEEEE PRINCESS!-

Last time i disabled the Audio-to-Text function the computer was as good as a brick... -want me to bring popcorn?- -please do-

The travel was, as you might had guessed, it took a month to reach the destination and a month to come back, i will resume it because i don't know the word limit of this website, but feel free to ask: -Gary brought a lighter fuel can that ended up used as dynamite to clear some rocks, surprisingly it worked. -We might or may not had hit some animals during the travel, but i swear that while traveling we hit at least something from what the repairmen told us -We managed to end up in the middle of 2 towns under some-kind of war (turns out it was some tradition of sending the guy with the weirdest garments to the other village to get some giant taxidermed fish trophy that their founders fished together and couldn't decided who got to keep it, we didn't bother for futher details, all we know is that the fish always ended up mounted over a arcade machine where you have to keep a golf ball inside some socket while the machine shaked it) -Aisha played with that machine later that day... -Gary was kidnapped by a giant red panda wich turned out to be a desert looner in a dirty suit who talked about our planet being egg shaped -We found the lake those town folk mentioned... turns out we ended up near the Great Lake's shore... im not surprised, specially afther we saw a giant orange glowing fish spearing a boat from afar. -Afther leaving the Great Lake's we continued our search for the freight car, we ended encountering another team and we had no choice to share our story about what we saw so far (omitting the town's part, they were nice people) -We hadn't saw them when we had to go back in the head count -Larry got this photo of a wendingo wearing a red suit fighting some guy in priest robes, we don't know how he did it but we know that no wonder why he wanted us to get out of the Forest's border and the town near it, at least the Wendingo has some class, unlike the bloodfiend that lives some streets down the station. -Turns out the Crimson Desert of Insanity was real, no wonder why the list made us get gasmasks, i think i still feel that punch in the head...

-Well... you had quite the colourful languaje out there, at least it was us who heard it and not someone else- -Don't remind me...-

-If someone asks, turns out the desert has some plants that emit toxic gases that makes one cuckoo -While our team didn't found the freight car, our PDAs, despise all of us being in the middle of nowhere, still worked and gave us some coordinates to go and aid in the retrieval -The travel there was quite uneventful, but when we reached there, there was quite the amount of tents set out there -Turns out inside the car were crates of... something... we didn't wanted to ask what's inside -Our group was assigned to watch the rear area, i think the theory of hitting something might be true, but i don't think that was an animal -Remember the Acid Spiting Lizard? turns out the car landed on their den so yeah... we might or might not sent a few of them though a rift to let us do our job, so apologies in advance if you saw one within the past 2 months -Besides that, we had no choice to get one of those crates inside the truck and go to the rear area, despise Aisha's modifications (made during our time at that fish town) being made in the front part. -The travel back there, was, once again uneventful, likely due to us being more in the center rather than on the outside area, from what i saw in the 2 week of travelling back, one of the groups designated at the east area shot down a giant vulture, they tried to eat it, key-word "Tried", withnessing how one of them ended up kidnapped and being forced to watch it was not fun...

-And that's all i guess, right guys?- -You forgot to mention...- -We don't talk about the snake salesman- -Yeah... Let's not talk about the snake salesman-

[theworldofotps]

The Way You Love Me

Pairing: Damian Priest x Reader Word Count: 1,202 Description: When Damian isn’t feeling the best, the reader reminds him of some of her favorite moments.

Warning: Very brief smut implied, mentions of mental health

A huge shout out to @omg-im-such-a-masochist for her help on figuring this out. I had the main inspiration for this fic and two ideas but didn’t know how to decide between them. She took the ideas, made them better and is letting me use it which I truly appreciate. I tweaked things around a bit and love how it turned out thank you so much baby! This one’s for you💕 _________ Tag list:

@omg-im-such-a-masochist @hungmanhorsecarriage @writtingrose @sjwrites22 @sassymox @new-zealand-chic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @xladyxfatex @biforrollynch @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @demonqueen29 @itsicantbelievethis666 @lilred91 @xbreezymeadowsx @rebellious-desires @youcantreignonmyparade @melblacc @letsgivethisonemoreshot @alination @ava-valerie @shortyiceheart @serpantscorpio8497 @thatpanpal If you wanna be added to the list lemme know. ________

“Babe?”

You call out, closing the front door behind you and kicking your shoes off. The house was completely silent, she knew Damian was home. Adam told you he had asked to leave early while you were in the middle of a practice match.

Setting your keys on the hook and making your way through the house checking every room then heads upstairs when you have no luck. Gently pushing the door to the master bedroom open, you spot a lump in the middle of their bed wrapped in the blankets.

“Damian? Are you okay?”

Walking over and sitting on your side of the bed you untuck some of the blankets and pull them back. The sight of Damian laying there with his eyes shut, tear tracks staining his cheeks broke your heart.

“Hey hey it’s me, why are you crying?”

You whisper gently stroking his cheek waiting for him to open his eyes.

“Oh hello princesa, it’s nothing, don't worry about it. How was the rest of your practice?”

“It was fine. It must be something if it’s got you this upset. You know you can talk to me about anything.”

Turning his face into your hand as it stroked his face Damian swallows the lump in his throat then looks at you.

“Why are you with me?”

“What?”

“Why are you with me? There are so many better looking more athletic people out there for you to be with. Someone who can give you all that you deserve in this life, which is so much more than what I can.”

“Where’s this coming from?”

Sighing Damian pulls the blankets back so you could crawl under them with him. Wrapping your arms around him and kissing his forehead you wait.

“At work today I was hanging out with some of the guys and they were going on about things they had gotten their partners for Valentine’s Day. I told them we had a simple picnic together after breakfast in bed and how I gave you that new photo album you’ve had your eye on.

They kinda teased me and said I needed to do better before someone else swooped in. I know it was just harmless banter but it really got me thinking what if it happened? And then I said for your promise ring I gave you my class ring, they thought it was silly and that you deserved an actual ring. My confidence has been a bit shaken lately, my mental health is taking a nose dive but today just proved those thoughts.

I’m not good enough for you y/n. I can’t give you all that you deserve and I know that’s true. It just keep replaying over and over in my head.”

Damian swallows, blinking back more tears and closing his eyes for a moment.

“Te mereces mucho mejor que yo.” (You deserve so much better than me.)

“Oh baby no no.”

Quickly shaking your head you cup his face wiping the tears away and waiting for him to look at you.

“Now you listen to me, my love, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about what we get or do for each other. I wanted that album for our photos and that’s what you got me. I love that you listen and pay attention to the small things. You always manage to get me what I want and I always feel so loved”

Kissing his lips gently you smile holding your hand out looking at his class ring.

“The fact you’re using something so special and that you worked hard for as a promise ring. Means more to me then any other ring, there’s sentimental value behind it. I wish you would have told me you’d been feeling this way lately.  I couldn’t imagine spending my life with anyone but you Damian. Baby I’m forever yours. 

Nobody has ever treated me like you have and it’s not just about the gifts. It’s the memories, fun and support we give each other. What we have is incredible I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I love the way you love me, How can I help cheer you up besides remind you that I love you with my entire being?”

Searching your face he gently kisses your hand hugging you

“What’s one of your favorite moments in our relationship?”

“Ohh there’s so many.”

Laying there looking in his eyes you think lightly tapping his chin with your finger.

“Oh! I know, do you remember when your Chronicle streamed for the first time?”

“Yeah that was a nerve wracking but exciting time.”

“Do you remember how we celebrated?”

“A lot of that week was a blur.”

Smiling you snuggle closer to him kissing his shoulder.

“Well let me remind you, we got to the arena and when it aired we watched with a bunch of our friends. Then afterwards everyone decided to watch another one since they didn’t want to go home just yet. You and I then went outside just to get some fresh air since you were feeling a lot of emotions. We wanted a little privacy so we managed to get up to the roof of the building. The moon was out and right after we got up there.”

“It started pouring and we made love in the rain.”

Damian says his face lighting up as you grin at him gently poking his nose.

“Exactly, that was the first time I ever did anything crazy like that. And I enjoyed every moment of it. That is when I really knew you were the one for me, someone I wanted to try crazy stuff with all the time.”

Damian smiles letting out a soft laugh as he holds you close.

“That was a lot of fun now that I remember, we should do it again sometime.”

“We’ll see baby, just don’t forget I love you and I am the luckiest person alive to have you.”

“I love you too mi amor.”

Kissing you softly Damian allows you to go ahead and change into comfier clothes while he rubs his face.

“Sorry about crying.”

“Hey, do not apologize for having emotions and sharing them with me. It's one hundred percent okay. There’s nothing wrong with need a good cry, there’s nothing wrong with feeling your emotions or letting them out. It’s completely fine I promise.”

Blowing him a kiss you take your dirty clothes into the bathroom and place them in the hamper. Going back into the room you glance out the window and walk over opening it. The sound of rain falling causes an idea to form in your head.

Taking your bra off you throw it at Damian’s face as he stares at the ceiling.

“Let’s go down memory lane again, shall we?”

You smirk as he looks at your bra chuckling then watches you strip your night shirt off. Swaying your hips as you go over to the bed.

“Mmm mi amor I would enjoy nothing more.”

Leaning over he wraps his arm around your waist pulling you onto him. Straddling his waist you look down at Damian with a smile.

“I’m going to spend all night reminding you of how much I love you.”

[dandthegods]

So my area has a pagan fall art festival thing going on today. And I have some…thoughts.

first off, this is not meant to offend or accuse anyone of anything. We all practice differently and our lives are different. This whole thing is just based on what me and my fiancé experienced while there.

the whole week we’ve been looking forward to this. We’ve been to a few other art fair events around our area, but this was a pagan one so it added an extra bit of intrigue to it and it seemed exciting. But being there was kinda underwhelming with expectations and overwhelming without sensory issues and personal vibe checks.

just as a basic review of the event, it wasn’t laid out very well. Not sure if it was due to a cost to rent out the park they were in or what, but all the booths for the vendors were quite close together and the alleyways for people to walk through were so narrow. I would have preferred if they had a setup to direct the flow of foot traffic so it wasn’t just a crowd of people going both ways everywhere. The couple booths we went in and felt comfortable stepping into were nice, but the rest gave off very strange vibes. My fiancé picked up on them more than I did and can articulate better about it. But basically it was a very off vibe the whole time.

i think a big downside with this was there was little variety at what the vendors had to offer. It kinda felt like an Etsy search page where there are a couple dozen shops selling identical crystals, herbs, tarot decks, and jewelry. Some of the stuff there was cool looking, but all in all it was like ���seen one, seen them all” type thing. Which, yeah that happens. Pagan and metaphysical shops tend to be few and far in between so they tend to carry the same things so people who want them can get them. But when you bring all those shops together they kinda just feel redundant. This is opposed to the other general art fairs we’ve been to over the past year. There are many booths that sell carving pieces or paintings or photo prints, but there is so much more variety there in terms of style, subject matter, and medium. And very few shops feel the same. With these shops, it’s the opposite.

im a very socially anxious person and when it comes to paganism I’m very reserved and private about it. Add that to the fact that Hellenism isn’t super common where I am and in the pagan supplies community in general, and I just feel out of place with a lot of these things. I’m not Wiccan, never have been, and don’t stray too far away from Hellenism stuff, so when things like this are 99% Wiccan/Druid based, it’s hard for me to not feel imposter syndrome wondering if I’m actually pagan. It’s awesome to see people be out and proud regarding their paganism, and I would love to do that as well (I’m trying at least) but some of the vibes I got from a good portion of the booths there just wasn’t good. Can’t explain it further than that, I’m afraid.

there was also a dude there that I’m pretty sure was from the AFA or some white supremacy sect of Asatru/Norse paganism. He was probably the worst vibe we got when we was silently stalking around, trying to hand out small pamphlet stuff. Luckily, the group that organized the event didn’t allow any white supremacy groups like the AFA or anything to have a booth there and I don’t think I saw any that could have been similar. But this guy was just bad news. And there’s only so much you can do with that kind of event, especially without any security detail, so it’s hard to stop people like that from coming in and trying to do their thing. He wasn’t talking about anything, he was just silently intimidating and creepy. But, on a happier note, we saw a lot of diversity there in terms of race, ethnicity, gender identity and age. So I don’t think the organizing group would have condoned that guy being there if they found out about him. The event goes on for the rest of the day so I hope he gets kicked out at some point and that everyone stays safe.

this was the first pagan event I’ve been to, and as an experience to say “I did this” it was nice. I honestly might not go again just out of personal preference and how my personality and mental health is. I wish everyone there the best, the vendors to be successful, and for all to be safe and get home safe.

Cheers,

-D

[nomynoya]

since im stupid and i didnt find anything im gonma write it myself

⚠️ no spoiler ⚠️

Black noir× Male reader

warning :⚠️Smut/Lemon/Nsfw⚠️

You and Black noir have been a couple for a long time and ofc nobody knew about it since Homelender could have killed you both so you two simply decided to keep ur love relaptionship as a secret .At home you two acted like a normal lovely couple and at work everybody saw you two as good frieds you were the only one that could tell what he wanted to say etc... so nobody in general ever suspected anything but how did you two met?

You were super excited to start working whit the seven they added you bc of what happened whit the Deep they needed someone new diffrent to make everybody forget about what happened, since putting Starlight in the Seven was a great idea you would have been just fine for the medias the new group photos and The Deep's ex fan so you started working whit them , and after a while you find out about how messed up everything was and how fake everybody was well Starlight was cool but you didnt want to be shipped whit her since she had a bf so you kept your distances even if the 2 of u were friend

everybody seemed to have depression , lack of love ,diffrent problem angry issuees etc... except someone and that was Black Noir you thought that since you two were the most normal people there why couldnt you just go for it and talk to him well that was harder then you thought

You: Hey Black Noir ! How are you?

BN:....

You:Cmon i dont bite you can talk to me ! Since we are the only normal people here

BN:...

he didnt say anything he looked at you and then just went away

this may sounds stupid.. but you didnt know anything about this man not even that he couldnt talk ! But the fact that he didnt talk to you was driving you crazy you kept tryng to talk to him diffrent time and not living him alone for not even 5 sec but nothing he just kept ingoring u like you werent there .

So one day you decided to wait for him to eneter in the elevator and then press that one button that block it so you two could talk

there he was he was waiting for it and after one person got out and he get in you literraly runned inside ,and that kinda scared him , you pressed a random floor and then that button , then you turned around to look at him

You :OK FINALLY WE CAN TALK!

Black noir was super confused like "wtf are u doing"

You :say something!anything!

he took a notebook and wrote something on it and then gave it to you

"i cant speak"

you jaw dropped and then you started laughing apologizing ,thinking about how stupid you were, that idea never crossed ur mind at all

You:then guess i will have to say something!

PANIC

you didnt thought about what to talk about at ALL since you were sure that he could talk and he was just ignoring you on purpose

so you said the first think that crossed ur mind

You: A DATE!

BN:...

BN:?!?

You:THATS WHAT I WANTED TO ASK YOU *wtf am i sayng?!* BUT YOU NEVER STOPPED AND LISTENED TO ME AT ALL !

you pressed accidentally the button to restart the elevator but you two were to much into the conversation to realize it

You:GIVE ME UR NOTEBOOK

he did in total confusion

you wrote down ur number and adress

You:COME TO MY HOUSE AT 8:00 PM DONT BE LATE

the moment you finished talking the elevatoor reached the last floor and you runned away leaving him there alone whit ur number and adress super confused

after that accident he actually came to your house(the date went well and you made him laugh after you explained your plan to him ,why you followed him and how you had a panic attack etc..) and the two of you started dating and eventually you (whit you i mean you two)became a couple

you only trusted each other and told each other everything

today after work at ur place

You: Earvy im home! (his real name Btw)

you walked inside ur house closing the door and running upstair to search for ur beloved

You:Wtf?

the bedroom door was closed

You:What...??babe open i need to change

after 20 min he opened the door (Black noir keep his mask on at home in case someone broke in witch already happened before he moved in bc a crazy fan wanted to take a pic whit u)

You:what took you so long ?

Bn: ...

(you asked black noir to learn the sign language whit you so like that you could understand him more not just at home at work too )

You: so?

Bn: nothing ( he said whit the sign lenguage)

You: are you hiding something?

Bn:no i would never

You:then what take you so long?

Bn: i was...sick

You:you are lying to me arent you?

He didnt say anything and he tried to go away from the door to escape from this akward moment but you stopped him there was no way you would have let this slide

You:arent we a couple?We are supposed to tell everything to each other are we?

He nodded keeping his head low

you took his hands

You:Pls tell me and if its a problem beetween us we are supposed to solve it u dont have to feel afraid to tell me anything

He looked at you and then dragged you to the bed to sit

You could feel your heart almost explode you thought that he was going to broke up whit you for something that you did

he took his notebook and wrote something

You : *thats it...but i dont want to broke up...i thought that we were ok and he that he loved me...*

he gave it to you and then he looked away

"Can we..cuddle? or just pass time together i feel like you dont have time for me anymore and i missed you a lot...you always come home late more late then me and then we just sleep i feel like you find our job more important then us "

You: im sorry REALLY sorry i didnt know that you felt like this

you realized that he stopped working as hard as he did after you two started dating just to pass more time whit you and now you are the one that work to much

You: i will come home more often and early i promise...but why did it take you so long to open the door ?

he pointed at the notebook still not looking at you and at the right bottom of the page there was a " → "

you turned the Page

"i need you..i really do..and its a shame for me to say it"

You: *needs? what is he-*

you look at him and then realized what he was doing

You:Earvy u were..

he nooded still not looking at you he felt so embarassed like he did something wrong

you took his hand kissed it and place it on your face he didnt expected you to do that

You: you can take off the mask if you want

he didnt want to but it wasnt a problem

you got up from the bed and you knelt down between his leg (he was still on the bed)

You: can i?

he nooded

you took off his pants and boxer he was hard

you started sucking it and little moan escaped from his mouth they werent really loud (he cant talk but he can make noises is canon) but since the room was silent you could hear him easly

he stroke ur hair a little

Bn:ahh~

You continued sucking it faster and faster as his moan got a little more hight

Bn: ah~....ah~!

you couldnt see him but his eyes rolled up and just when he was about to cvm

you stopped

he was confused but you immediatly started kissing his muscled body after pulling up his t-shirt liking his nipples and biting them

You:we should get rid of these

after sayng that you took of his and your t-shirts the sensations of your skin touching his just made him more harder

you started touching his dick and biting his neck whispering thinks

You: i need you...

You:i want to be inside of you

and whit that you took a Little bit of his pre-cvm and then shove a finger inside of him and started pushing slowly

Bn:ngh~

You:you're so tight

you put a second finger inside

he moaned but in more intense way and you could feel that his ass was literally suking ur fingers

You: good boy...you want more dont you?

he timidly noded

so you got up and took of your pants

anddd it was in

Black noir let out a loud moan you grunted it was so tight you eventually started moving and every move was one of his loud moan he couldnt control himself he was so embarrassed and he covered his face even tought he still had the mask on

Bn:Ohh~ Ahhh~

You:dont hold back i wanna hear you scream for me

he crossed his legs on your hips and put his arms around your neck it felt soo good that he couldnt even think straight anymore whit one hand you touched his dick and that was the last drop he cummed and yelled out one last moan

but you werent done wet

you it took out and set netx to him

You:my turn no?

he slowly got down on the floor and got on his knees in front of your huge cock beetween ur legs

You took his face whit one hand

You:Suck it

he lifted up his mask a little and started sucking it

Bn: Gulp Gulp Gulp Gulp(lmao)

and he started touching himself too

Bn:Mh~

You:im about to-

you took it out and cummed in his face

you two just took a shower and cuddled in the bed

You: i love you

he hugged you and you knew that was is way to say " i love you too"

Black noir kinda of remind me of this dude his name is Spiderman Noir and its literally like the spiderman verison of Black noir(movie name spider man into the spider verse)

[amazingphilza]

snapchat :: c!tommy x reader

fluff / angst , platonic , gender neutral ! first request whoop whoop :D [check pinned for more info on requests]

synopsis: ‘what’s so bad about adding every person on snapchat?’ tommy thought. unknowingly, with all the other people he begins talking to during exile, one ends up being you; tubbo’s younger sibling. that is until you both visit tommy in logstedshire.

cw: i purposely misspell a few words for the texting part, i hope it’s still readable for y’all! and i haven’t actually used snapchat in years so let’s pretend i know what i’m doing :)

tommy smiled at his brand new phone

first thing he does? install snapchat and reddit

if he couldn’t talk to his best friends face to face anymore, at least he had people online to talk to, right?

tommy hoped from all his possessions dream would destroy, he could at least keep a phone

without much thought, tommy opened snapchat and began adding every account and messaging them the same obnoxious message

BE MY FRIEND . MESSAGE BACK NOW.

most people chose ignore tommy, not having a clue why he was messaging them

but as for you, when you had the notification that someone added you on snapchat and started aggressively messaging you, it made you curious

you read their user

“wife haver”?? huh???

instead of immediately blocking the person, you replied back

what?

not even less than a second later you get a reply back

OH MY GOD FINALLY SOMEONE

IM DYING

without context, you were more than confused

genuinely dying is very alarming but you shouldn’t text a random stranger your last words

huh?

THE GREEN BASTARD TOOK EVERYTHING AWAY FROM ME

YOURE ALL I HAVE LEFT

plwase helo

Help

where did tou go

Ohm hgod

hHello?

NOOOO NOT YOU TOO

PLEASR

you laughed at the person’s desperation and ignored the messages

if the stranger wasn’t going introduce themselves, you wouldn’t either

however, after a while you realized you had over 100 snapchat notifications within an hour of trying to ignore the person

however it was just jumbled up words and useless spam, nothing important

as if the stranger would said anything important to your concern anyway

do you ever shut up??

fuck you

a normal person wouldve taken offense by these messages but you found them quite amusing

it wasn’t like you had anything else better to do

and this acceptance was the start of your odd friendship with the stranger

you were still on edge because you had no idea who they were and their intentions but the anonymity was mutual nonetheless

if the desperate spamming “wife haver” isn’t going to formally tell you who they actually were, you weren’t going to risk exposing yourself first

but in the past few weeks, you and the person had normal conversations apart from the first day they messaged you

well as normal as you could’ve expected from someone named “wife haver”

they were the first to send an actual snap as well

that was when you found out the “wife haver” was an obnoxious boy that looked around your age, maybe a slightly older

he had sent you a photo of him holding a thumbs up and trying to smile when he was clearly upset

just got all my stuff exploded again, feeling good

you noticed his messy blonde hair and tattered clothes

what the hell happened to this guy?

part of you was confused, and the other was concerned

u good bro??

well

i don’t have anymore tools and materials if that’s anything

so no

this is shit

lmao it was probably deserved

FUCK YOU!!!!!

im kidding that’s sad

but like do u actually need stuff?

you contemplated sending your next message and thought of the consequences

but in the end, you were probably better off than him so if he did try to do something suspicious, you could easily just leave with your trident or defend yourself

i can bring some things over if you’d like

please oh my god it’s so boring here

where the hell do you even live???

it finally hit that you would be visiting this mysterious person

you never really had much to do during the day and he had nothing against your enchanted netherite armor when compared to his worn-out clothes

you were surprised that he was quick to be comfortable with you visiting him so continued to message the boy

if you live nearby i can just stop over and bring some spare diamond tools and armor if you’d like or smth

DIAMOND !,?’/:@!?:/-',(

ya sure lol

WTF

GOOD SHIT LAD! THANKS

WHEN DO U WANT TO VISIT???

his shock and excitement made you smile

maybe this wasn’t a bad idea

before replying, you quickly ran to your storage room you gather your spare items

instead of normally texting, you decided to take a picture of all the enchanted tools and armor and send back a snap

i’m down for tomorrow, turn on your snapmaps so i can come by ;D

he quickly replied back with handfuls of ‘holy shits’ and ‘YEAHS’

you couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear which caught the attention of your older brother who had just walked in to get blocks from the wall of chests

“ew why are you smiling at your phone like that?”

“oh shut up, tubbo”

“it’s weird”

you roll your eyes at him in a playful matter

“whatever! i’m gonna be out tomorrow to visit a friend, okay?”

“you have friends? wow, sounds like a first”

“you’re such a dick!!” you yell at him whilst trying to hold in your laughter

“oh yeah? go on, tell me about this friend of yours then. meeting strangers online, hm?”

“if you’re so concerned, you can come with if you’re not busy with whatever a president does. i promise they’re not some weirdo like you”

tubbo’s tone was sarcastic but he agreed then left you to your own thoughts

you were excited for tomorrow that you were restless in your bed when nighttime had came

somehow you managed to fall asleep from tiredness in the middle of the night

soon enough it was morning

before doing anything, you checked your phone and went through all your notifications

you then checked snapchat, browsing snapmaps and realized how far you had to travel

despite the long travel, you brought yourself up from your bed and gathered all the items you were going to bring

you stuffed a full set of enchanted diamond armor, tools, and over a stack of golden carrots all in your inventory

after finishing all your preparations, you searched for your older brother

with just a loud yell of his name he appeared almost instantly

“you ready to go, tubbo?”

“yep! you know where you’re going right?”

you scoffed at the question

“of course!”

and with that, the two of you traveled on foot until you reached the ocean

you had brought 2 boats with you knowing that you couldn’t imagine being in the same boat as your brother; it would’ve ended up in endless bickering

after a while of being at sea, tubbo started to become impatient

“what the hell! how far does this person live, y/n??”

“i dunno!”

you knew the general direction you were supposed to be going to after studying your snapmaps all morning but you couldn’t check how much farther it would take to get there; there was obviously no signal in the middle of the ocean

it felt like forever before you saw land in the horizon

suddenly you regained all the energy you have lost from rowing

“there!! that place with the white tent, i can barely see it”

“finally”

with the burst of energy, you got to land in no time

the moment you got off your boat, the blonde spotted the two of you and ran in your direction

once appearing nearly feet apart, he stared at your brother who also had the shocked expression

“TOMMY?”

“TUBBO?”

your brother had more of a confused expression whilst the other boy seemed a bit mad

maybe he was always mad considering the endless conversations you had with him ranting about some ‘green bastard’

but tubbo quickly got defensive, stepping in front of you

you didn’t understand how they knew each other beforehand, but at the same time you never caught up with tubbo’s friends either

you needed answers

“what’s going on?”

“y/n! you were messaging tommy this whole time? why didn’t you tell me?”

tubbo was clearly frustrated and a feeling of guilt washed over you

it didn’t click that you never exchanged names and admitting it did not seem believable

tubbo was in complete shock, trying to process everything that was happening

“WHAT?! AND HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING?”

you mumbled out your words

“a few weeks, i can’t remember”

“uh, yeah sorry” tommy had confirmed your statements. “i didn’t even know you had a sibling, tubbo! i actually didn’t know their name until now as well..”

“HUH??”

“but if i knew i was messaging a tub-ling, i wouldn’t have in the first place!”

“what the fuck tommy!!!”

“no, but how do you even know each other?” you had interrupt the two

tubbo had chosen his words carefully

“we’re... friends”

tommy had seemed upset at this

“tubbo....”

“no, don’t talk to me, tommy. you were exiled for a reason. y/n? give him the stuff you wanted to him and let’s go, this was a waste of time”

you were saddened but obliged, you didn’t want to anger your brother even more

“fuck you, tubbo! can’t believe this was how you visit me for the first time, i don’t even want your pity shit”

before you could react, tubbo led you to the back of his boat

he got in the front and quickly rowed away from the land you barely stayed on, leaving your boat behind on the shores

you looked back at tommy who already had left back to his tent

the boat ride was silent and full of sorrow until you arrived back at l’manburg

once you got home you immediately opened snapchat to message tommy

hey tommy i’m really sorry about today. i had no idea,,,

you thought he would’ve ignored your message but instead replied right after

but your heart sank at reading the message

it’s fine

i think it’s best we stop talking y/n

you didn’t want to lose a friend so quickly but after all the tension from today, you didn’t know how to come back from it

so instead of arguing you agreed, even if it wasn’t honest

yeah, me too

and that was the last message you sent to tommy

even though the whole situation was confusing from the start, it didn’t mean you didn’t enjoy the random conversations you had

the bizarre encounter was unforgettable

it made you even sadder when you realized the first time you two used each other’s names through text would also be the last

a/n: ngl, i didn’t think i would finish this on a kinda angsty ending but here we are! and grrr it’s 4am and i just wanted to finish this,, let’s hope there aren’t that many grammar mistakes LMAO anyway i hope y’all enjoyed <3

[horrorartist23]

Here is a small story idea that I had. Im not a grest writer but bare with me on this one.🤔

Raven belongs to @cypaira-the-skeleton

--------------------------------------------------

,,Bellman?" ,,yes Raven?" ,,who is that wierd Sewer man everyone is talking about right now?" Raven asked as she looked at him with her big ruby red eyes that sparked with interest. ,,well..." he began ,,i really dont want to tell you...its a horror story to scare people into not going into sewer systems, katacombs and storm drains in this city...its a widely known story but If you told you, you wouldnt be able to sleep at night" he added. Raven smiled and stood up with her hands on her hips exclaiming: ,,im not scared of anything you can tell me im brave!" Bellman couldnt help but smile, he let out a sigh and began to tell her ,,ok ok but dont complain when you cant sleep" to wich Raven responded with a nod

,,ok so the story of the sewer man is actually really well known trough out the entire city. Like I said its a story to keep people out of the sewer systems. It all began a long time ago with a man that hated everyone. Everyone around him was happy but him. And he was cursed with blindness. He disappeared leaving his house abandoned. A few went to look for him. And they went to the sewer system aswell. There they saw a strange creature with a deranged creepy grin, along neck, long arms that could extend up to over 10 feet, a long body and short legs...they fled out and passed this story on for generations up until today." He paused for a moment. Raven sat down again ,,wow" he said ,,yeah its a creepy tale. You know im not afraid to go into abandoned hospitals, mental institutions and houses but this is making even me afraid for some reason" bellman said and looked on the ground. Raven looked at him:,, do you think this story is true?" ,,im not sure. There has been a picture of him thats very old. It really makes me believe that there might be something down there that we dont know about... i dont want to believe it but that old pic is solid evidence. Photoshop didnt exist back then..." Bellman searched trough his phone and pulled up a news article were the photo of the strange creature was shown. ,,there is no telling what this thing will do to you when it finds you...we can only guess..."

[tinyboxxtink]

Hey so loved your black magic series! I read your post about using REE/Rafael. I’ll read anything you write but this idea to me is RPF and kind of squicks. ☹️ Maybe if you use another character he played? Nevada?! Someone sees “Barba” doing something super bad and they’re all “omg omg” and think it’s Barba? 🤷🏻‍♀️

I hear you, I do. HOWEVER, I made a "Version" of Raul Esparza in this story that is 5 years younger, and...I hate to say it, "more" famous?

IDK I wrote a 'prototype' chapter last night, so I'm gonna put this to you. I assume/hope you're an avid reader and I can gauge the public consensus, but also I want ALL my readers to be happy!!

So here, read this and then tell me if you still find the idea "Squicky".

That goes for anyone else! Maybe I should put my tag list in here....

The way I wrote him though anon, I truly feel in my heart that it's not RPF, because like I said RPF freaks me out as well.

Before you already go in skeptical, let me set up the plot I had planned. {As told to @madamsnape921 in an IM:

the thing was gonna start that someone sees Rafael proposing to the reader, and tells a tabloid that Raul Esparza is engaged to some rando. Because they think that it was him. And then Rafa, the reader and Chloe start to discuss on how either it's a multiverse thing, or a doppelganger thing because it turns out that Rafael and Raúl are very similar, like personality traits and the Broadway dream, except that Raul's childhood was basically the opposite of Rafael's so Chloe THINKS that Raul is Rafael from a "multiverse".

Right and then Raul goes to Rafael's office to confront him and then the reader and Chloe are there to take Rafael out to lunch and they're like holy shit!

And Rafael is super uncomfortable with the idea of the reader EVER being in a show with Raul because obviously they're like the same person and Raul probably has more in common with her

Oh and also Raul is five years younger, and thinner. So then Raul's like you shouldn't listen to him, I could really help you with your career.

Annnnd that's all I have so far.

Okay so read this really and tell me you honest opinion.

Screw it putting the tag list:

Tag List

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

You were walking towards the exit of Central Park hand in hand with your now fiancee, when all of a sudden two giggling girls came running up to you.

“Oh my god!!!!! Raul we didn’t know you had a girlfriend!” One of them started squealing.

“Fiancee,” He corrected. “Wait I’m sorry, what? Did you just call me Raul?”

“Uh...yeah, duh,” One of the girls made a face. “Raul Esparza?”

“What?” You bursted out laughing. “I’m sorry, you think he’s Raul Esparza?”

“Um, we know he is,” The other one crossed her arms.

“Um, no he isn’t!” You wrapped your arm around Rafael protectively, as if the two girls were going to kidnap him or something.

“I can promise you ladies, I am not-- whoever you just said,” Rafael assured them.

“Why are you doing this? Are you trying not to embarrass your lady friend here?” One of the girls made a weird face at you.

“Wha? No--” Rafael tried to defend himself but the girls were already clearly ticked off.

“Wow, I have heard of actors trying to get away from fans but completely pretending to be another person, that’s pretty low Raul,” One of them glared at Rafael.

“Yeah, it wouldn’t have taken you much effort to just take a selfie with us,” The other one added with a scowl.

“I...um--” He looked to you for help, but you just shrugged. You had no idea how to handle such a weird situation.

“I guess we can take one--” He offered.

“Oh no, forget it now,” One girl scoffed.

“Yeah, jerk!” The other one stomped her foot and they both sauntered away angrily.

-----------

“...What the hell was that?” Rafael looked at you in utter confusion and disbelief, you just gave him a “wtf” smile.

“I have no idea baby--”

“Oh my god, are you guys ok?” Chloe suddenly came running up behind you. “What the hell did those teeny boppers want? To rob you with water guns or something?”

“No they-- they wanted a selfie?” Rafael was still confused, trying to figure out what just happened.

“A selfie? With you?” Chloe snorted.

“No-- With Raul Esparza,” You looked at her with a confused smile. It was pretty entertaining to think that your fiance looked like a Broadway star.

“I don’t get it, you said that I didn’t even look like him!” Rafael looked at you.

“I mean I said I didn’t see it, and that you were more handsome,”

“....Yeah well you might wanna rethink that answer babe,” Chloe’s eyes were wide as she handed you her phone. She had googled RAUL ESPARZA, and the images that popped up were-- Rafael’s face.

“Oh my God…” You whispered, showing Rafael the phone. He quickly pulled out his own and started searching for himself. You handed Chloe back her phone and did the same. Pages and pages of articles about Raul Esparza’s shows, and accelaides, and all with Rafael's face plastered all over them.

“He’s….me,” Rafael whispered in horror.

“He looks more like you than you do!” You teased, he looked at you with a very serious face. Clearly he was not ready to joke about this yet.

“Holy shit. This is some multiverse shit,” Chloe muttered as she went through her Google search.

“Excuse me?” You asked her.

“You know, the multiverse theory? There’s an infinite amount of universes in every decision anyone ever makes.”

“Meaning…?” Rafael asked.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Chloe raised an eyebrow. “Raul could be Rafael, if he hadn’t given up on his Broadway dream,”

“Oh my god,” Rafael started laughing. “Chloe, did you get loaded in the park or something?”

“Oh okay, so you have a better idea, big brain lawyer?” She crossed her arms.

“He might not, but I do,” You piped up, showing her your phone.

“Doppelgangers?” Chloe read with a face.

“Yes, it’s a fact that there are 5 people in the world with the EXACT same face,” You continued reading.

“And he just happens to live in New York, where Rafael lives? AND is on Broadway, the one thing Rafael gave up?”

“Look sure it’s a million to one shot that those events would line up, but what’s more plausible: Doppelganger or ‘Multiverse’?” You looked at Chloe, who looked at Rafael, so you turned to Rafael as well.

“...Wha--are you asking me?” He asked.

“I mean it is your face,” You shrugged. “What do you think, baby?”

“I’m leaning towards a doppelganger, sorry Chloe,” He shrugged as well.

“Yeah well, you’re probably right,” Chloe nodded as she read her own phone, still on Raul Esparza info. “Most likely because he’s five years YOUNGER than you,”

“WHAT?!” Rafael grabbed her phone; as he read it, his face fell. “Oh God, no…”

“Wha--What does it matter how old he is, Rafa?” You furrowed your brows.

“Or the fact that he’s clearly thinner and more attractive,” Chloe added with a smirk.

“CHLOE,” You scolded her. “What the ever loving fuck?”

“Well, I’m just saying-- Look at them side by side,” Chloe had a photo of Rafael from some mayor’s ball next to Raul Esparza at the Tonys, both in tuxedo’s. You wouldn’t admit to Rafael but Raul was definitely thinner, and...he looked a lot younger. It was probably Botox or something you were sure, but still….

“Okay but again WHY does it matter--?” You wanted to change the subject.

“Are you kidding me? Y/N-- This is what you want to do!” He gestured to Chloe’s phone.

“....I don’t want Raul--” You started.

“No, you want to be on Broadway though!! And, and what if someday, God forbid, you end up in a show with this guy? He clearly already has a leg up on me compatibility wise, and as Chloe so kindly pointed out, a leg up on me age and attractiveness wise, and--” Rafael started ranting and rambling, talking lightening fast, as he did when he got upset or excited.

“Whoa whoa whoa whoa, back up there counselor,” You put up a hand to his face. “Are you actually insinuating that if I worked with Raul Esparza, that I would magically fall in love with him?”

“Don’t say it like that,” Rafael was triggered by the mention of magic and love.

“Okay but I’m not even saying ‘magic’ magic, I’m just saying-- What do you think because he’s an actor, and younger than you I’m just going to think I’m better off with him? Just because he has your face?” You gave him a small “oh honey” smile as you placed your hands on either of his face.

“No, but if you have to play his love interest, and you spend every day with him, it might blur the lines--” He started grumbling.

“Rafael, baby--” You shook his head in your hands. “I am still in SCHOOL. I am nowhere NEAR being in a Broadway show as a freaking techie, let alone a love interest starring opposite Raul Esparza,”

“Yeah, I mean this guy is huge-- 3 Tonys, 2 Emmys, an Oscar--” Chloe rattled off, but stopped when she realized you were glaring at her. “What? I’m helping!”

“...See? He’s far too famous for me,” You pressed your forehead to Rafael’s.

“Right, and I’m just the lowly ADA,” He muttered.

“Lowly my ass, Rafa,” You hit him playfully. “You are the most respected ADA in all of New York,”

“I’m the only ADA of New York,” He made a face.

“Not true! Just the city,” You beamed, proud of yourself you did some research once you had gotten together.

“My point is Rafael,” You now put your hands on his collar and pulled yourself into him. “You are all the acclaim I need,” You kissed him softly. “You’re my everything, I mean for fuck’s sake you just held a one man flash mob to propose to me! Let’s Raul Esparza do THAT,” You laughed, hoping to make him feel better. As his scowl melted into a smile, you knew you had succeeded.

“That was pretty romantic wasn’t it?” He beamed, proud of himself.

“It was EPIC,” Chloe chimed in, for good this time.

“Your voice is beautiful by the way,” You had forgotten in the midst of all of the romantic hubbub to compliment him. “I’m really sorry you had to give up Broadway,”

“Yeah, well-- apparently some part of me didn’t,” He gestured to his phone.

“Well he doesn’t have me,” You pointed out.

“He doesn’t know what he’s missing.” Rafael grinned as he pulled you into a deep kiss.

“Now can we please just forget about--” You hesitated, deciding not to mention his name again. “Anything else, and just focus on our engagement night?”

“Well, I suppose--” He nodded as he put an arm around you, and the three of you continued to walk through the park.

-------

Across town in a swanky New York Penthouse, an alert went off on Raul Esparza’s phone. He had it set to notify him any time his name appeared in a headline on the internet. He glanced over and picked it up, reading the notification. As he read it, his eyes widened and his face grew red. He stood up and yelled to no one in particular,

“Who the FUCK is trying to impersonate me?!”

[reversecreek]

clicks onto the dash wearing kitten heels n coyly holding my bang....... hi. me again. it took me so long to select a gif to use on cricket’s intro n i settled on this one bc he looks so unsure abt his smile n it’s rly his essence <3 u can find his pinterest board here n his (work in progress) spotify playlist here. hmu to plot!!! 

* alex wolff, cis male + he/him | you know cricket donahue, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, all of their life, on and off? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to should have known better by sufjan stevens like, a million times this year, which slipping on wet leaves to photograph a tree struck alight by lightning, delivering a tedtalk to your own reflection to hype yourself up to buy groceries, hiding your hands inside of your sleeves in case you grew an impromptu megan fox thumb overnight thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 1st, so they’re a libra, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt, she/her )

HISTORY:

cricket ws born to a couple tht lived in lilac ridge. their trailer was tucked closest to the woods n always fell under the shade. it was like the leaves wanted to pretend they were a perpetual hanging cloud on the family n that was kind of fitting. their only reason fr having him in the first place was a kind of shrugged like........... we’re under the income bracket we’d get child benefits so why not! may as well try it to rake in some extra cash! needless to say they didn’t rly think it thru or anticipate all of the responsibilities tht came w children n wound up seeing him as an extremely large burden n boy didn’t he know it!

(child neglect & abuse tw) i’ll try to keep this part vague n brief but things were Not Good for cricket growing up. people in lilac ridge didn’t like his parents n it was for a gd reason. he remembers foggy things. being little n wandering around combing the grass with a stick to search for wrappers to suck on bc he was hungry. feeling uneasy when the front door opened. finding out his name was cricket bc the insects used to crawl into their trailer thru the vents n his parents liked to squish them into the carpet -- his mum told him as much once. i think this says a lot. to excessively trim the fat of the story he wound up entering the system at around 8 after his latest and most serious hospital visit. his parents hd to deal w the authorities n last he heard they bounced to evade charges.

(anxiety & violence & trauma tw) cricket sustained a few lifelong injuries from his time in lilac ridge. his knee didn’t heal right which meant he had (n still has to this day) a limp n he’s partially deaf in one ear. he’s always been an incredibly insecure n anxious person so this mde him rly self conscious going into a strange n new environment tht wld b difficult fr any kid to adjust to, nvm w these added worries. he jst felt like something weird to ogle at honestly. he probably wld have felt like that no matter where he was or what he looked like. he cld be in a huge hall of 200 people all wearing the same uniform n he’d still feel like the odd one out. needless to say this didn’t rly help him make friends

cricket’s coping mechanisms were romanticising the things tht other people found ugly or embarrassing or painfully ordinary. he liked it when the rain hit clunky drops against school windows n forbid everyone from playing outside bc he could feel the vibrations through the rubber soles of his shoes n it was a little bit like hearing all of the world at once fr just a moment. he liked medieval fantasy lore about stout gnomes w crumbs in their beards n cheeks red from ale. he liked fallen nests with the remnants of hatched eggs still dirty from the branches n soil they’d hit on the way down. he liked the way the sunlight leaked thru the leaves of the trees in the woods and how, when he sat very still, he could tune into the ringing that was always in his ear n pretend it was coming from the same place, that light thru the leaves, that the angels were trying to talk to him.

he spent a lot of time in the red room at his high skl (i’m begging u this is not a 50 shades reference) (after googling i jst realised it’s called a darkroom bt i’m leaving this fr the sake of sexy bimbo authenticity) n felt quite at home in there. he borrowed a camera whenever he cld (maybe he did yearbook) n photography became his way of immortalising the world as the romanticised version he wanted it to be. his memories were bad bt his photos were beautiful. maybe if he took enough they’d paste over n bleed into each other. maybe bad cld be replaced w beautiful if he tried his very best.

he got placed into fostering w a family once bt apparently didn’t meet the vibe check of their tastes so he wound up returning to the group home he’d initially been placed in. overall this is where he grew up n he aged out the system rather than getting adopted. there was a sense of floundering/isolation/not feeling gd enough in tht bt cricket made do the best he knew how. 

that said there were some gd points! (shocking i kno bc his life hs been so fking bleak so far bt please it’s ok........) (is it?) (🤔). basically he interned as an assistant at this local photography studio during high skl working under this kind of whimsical yet endearing old man. suspected wizard possibly in cricket’s eyes, as an avid fantasy genre reader. for one of his bdays said old man / his boss bought him his very own film camera n cricket cried bc he’d never been bought a bday gift. this ws rly embarrassing bc this old man didn’t know how to emote n neither did cricket so he ws jst sort of sat wiping his eyes n sniffling saying he wasn’t crying as the old man pretended to suddenly clean his lenses. when cricket graduated he offered him a full time position there. they do like. wedding photographs n family portraits n all kinds of things...... pay isn’t huge bt it’s something n he Loves taking photos so it’s sexy <3

PERSONALITY:

SUCH an anxious person it’s actually unreal. overthinks absolutely everything he’s ever said. one morning he might hv put green socks on n for the rest of the day he’s nervously looking around like omggggggg they’re all looking at my socks probably thinking im a little green sock boy thinking i’m a fool n a jester this is all everyone’s probably thinking about i hv to hide my green socks..... even tho literally no-one cares

once saw a girl eating a chicken wing n in his head was like ok she likes chicken good future gift idea..... n turned up at her house with an entire rotisserie chicken

probably thinks WAY too hard abt what to write in bday cards n googles like generic ideas that he can use.... u open a card from cricket n it always says smthn weird like “Warmest wishes and love on your birthday and always!” or “You deserve everything happy. Wishing you that all year long!” tht he got off google

nervously fiddles w things a lot. literally anything. his hair. the cuffs of his sleeves. a thread on his bag. u name it

struggles w eye contact sometimes............ it’s like. he wants to talk to ppl n make friends bt he’s honestly so bad at it. he’s fumbling thru life like a nervous headless chicken

ALWAYS has his camera on him. like always. will tke a photo of u bc he thinks u look nice then be like im so sorry im so sorry...... bowing his head shakily holding his camera bc he doesn’t even kno what possessed him he jst thought it’d be a nice photograph bt boundaries exist. probably breathes very heavily over this later in his room panicking thinking he nw seems like hannibal lecter

probably more confident online bc he has time to think abt what he says more.......... i can see him hving a group of online friends tht he’s more confident w. honestly he’s pretty witty at heart he jst has a hard time verbalising things so ppl overlook him sometimes bt once u get to know him more / he’s more comfy he can b a funny little man.....

loves photographs where he cuts something out of them. loves missing spaces n voids. thinks it’s a rly interesting concept when something that isn’t there becomes the focus of a photograph where everything else is. probably loses his mind fr a collage like a front row 1d stan. likes experimenting w light n perception. pretty artistic honestly hs probably made a stop motion film in the past bc that’s just an extended form of photography in his mind bt i doubt he showed anyone

ummm...... very sweet bt like. he reminds me a lot of this quote. “he had the awkward tenderness of someone who has never been loved and is forced to improvise.” feel like tht sums him up quite nicely

WANTED CONNECTIONS

someone he met at a wedding: cricket probably ws forced to photograph a wedding fr his boss one time n it cld b interesting as a place to meet from that....... like. i can imagine either it being rly awkward maybe he accidentally spilled a drink on ur muse n was stuttering rly apologetic n it ws just a train wreck. or mayb they took pity on him or even (in a shocking turn of events) a shine to him n invited him to drink n dance. omgggg the thought of cricket trying to dance makes me wna die n probably mkes cricket wna hyperventilate bt idk maybe he went wild n let loose. mayb they wound up damaging the camera somehow. mayb they had to scramble to get another one n ur muse covered the cost n it was a strange late night excursion tht cricket thought about a lot since. cricket probably vowed to pay them bk somehow no matter what. idk. we can work things out. lots of diff options here. doesn’t have to b a wedding either can b any event tht required a photographer

ppl he went to school w: pretty self explanatory i suppose...... maybe they were frm completely different worlds..... mayb ur muse was popular n cricket was definitely not but they got paired fr an assignment n had to work on a project together....... mayb cricket asked ur muse on a date one time n it was completely embarrassing bc he didn’t realise they had a bf n it haunts cricket at night still bc he’s rly dramatic.... mayb ur muse felt sry fr him n ate lunch w him n inducted him into their group like a lost puppy finding a home.... world’s our oyster

neighbours from his brief time at lilac ridge: not to reference taylor swift but i’m gna reference taylor swift n say we cld do a seven inspired plot here. sighs a little..... then sighs a lot. he was here ages 0-8 so idk. we cld work out childhood plots perhaps....

sickening simp: i mean.............. cricket probably gets crushes on ppl so easily like just. anyone who’s the slightest bit nice to him.................. he’s a disgrace. ok i take it back. bt also please get it together freak............... i didn’t say that. he’d probably b extra nice to this person n try n pay close attention to things they liked so he cld get them little gifts. just a bit embarrassing n lovestruck bless his heart. wldn’t expect anything back tho honestly that just isn’t something he tends to do.

let’s go gays: cricket’s bi but he probably was rly in his head abt liking boys n tried to sort of squash it internally during his younger yrs...... i think he’s more comfy w it now MAYBE idk bt back then i picture him having a friend tht ws kind of like. similarly loserish as him perhaps (no offence to ur muse potentially filling this plot or cricket bt let’s face the facts) n they’d hang out n play games a lot n one time it jst kind of happened n he was like............. *struts in looking around sharply* What going on here? except not. bc it’s cricket. more like *shambles in looking around anxiously* What’s, uh... What’s... the happenings? S--... I’m sorry. (immediate apology for saying what’s the happenings bc nobody talks like that n it was an impulsive panic bc he didn’t know what else to say)

those who grew up in the system w him: maybe at the group home or i’d also like the family that fostered him n said sayonara. honestly i imagine the parents just thought he ws a bit too much of a handful / had too much baggage which is rly quite merciless n terrible but. if u think that aligns w ur muses home situation hmu......

um. can’t think of more bt just anything honestly. jst go wild.......

[eleven-times-lively]

The Twins - Part 1

In which Fred and reader welcome their new bundles of joy into the world.💕 Masterpost

Summary: The first children of Fred and reader are born as the couple beings their adventures in parenting and the first real trial of marriage. With a bit of angst IM SORRY. Word Count: 6845 oops Note: So I kinda forgot I had to do this lol. I wrote this at 1am on Friday cause I had two history essays due that I procrastinated hehehe.

You found him in the kitchen and wrapped your arms around him from behind. “What’s this for, love?” He giggled as he turned to face you. You cupped his face in your hands and looked him right in the eyes, “I’m pregnant.”

The tears quickly began to well in his eyes, his emotions processing before his thoughts. “You’re, pr-”

“Yes, Freddie! Pregnant! We’re going to be parents!” He picked you up into the air like you were no more than a feather. Embracing you in the tightest hug he ever had he nuzzled into your neck. 

“How do you know!? How long have you known? How far along are you?! Did you tell anyone else before me? This is amazing! Are you okay?” The amount of questions--both spoken and underlying--that he was throwing at you was unreal.

“I’ve been vomiting, I’m two weeks late, and yes it is amazing!!!” You pulled him into a deep kiss as you celebrated together.

“We need to tell everyone!”

“Woahhh… slow your roll, Weasley. I think I should head to the doctor first. And besides, you aren’t supposed to tell anyone for a few months in case something… happens.” His face contorted a bit at the last part. He had just found out about the little bean inside of you and he already couldn’t bear the thought of something bad happening. “Here, sit down. Can I get you anything?”

You let out a light chuckle. “Fred I’m not diseased. I can’t be more than a month pregnant, it’s almost as if I’m not at all.”

“I knowww,” he groaned, “but you have our baby in there, and I need to protect you at all costs.”

You blushed at his words. “A cup of tea wouldn’t hurt I suppose.”

***

Three days later you and Fred were seated in the doctor's office, practically vibrating with nerves and excitement. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Weasley! Nice to meet you! I’m Dr. Bloom. Congratulations on the news!” Dr. Bloom was the peppiest woman you’d ever met. She couldn’t have been more than five foot two and her dusty brown curls bobbed about the room along with her. “Now, when did you find out?”

You sat up a bit straighter, matching her warm smile. “About three weeks ago I missed my period, and I’ve been dizzy and nauseous ever since… Although I just put the pieces together a few days ago,” you added with a chuckle.

“Great! So you could be about a month along already! How exciting!” She grinned at you and Fred, seemingly more excited for the baby than you two were. “Now normally we would wait until about seven weeks to do an ultrasound, but because we aren’t entirely sure how far along you are we may as well do one today. Mrs. Weasley if you’d please hop up here and just life your shirt a bit.”

You stood and did as she asked, and Fred gripped your hand once you were settled. 

“Now this may be a bit chilly!” she remarked as she began. Her gleeful face quickly contorted into a cross between confusion and concern. You could practically hear Fred’s heart sink as you both feared the worst. “Mrs. Weasley, how far along did you saw you were?”

“Well I missed my period about three weeks ago, but we did skip protection at the beginning of… last… month…” you’re words trailed off as you realised.

“How fun! Mr. and Mrs. Weasley I’d estimate that you are about six weeks along! Good thing I did an ultrasound, it’s the perfect time!” You and Fred grinned at each other with all of the passion in the universe.

“Could we um… is it too soon to see the baby?” He asked sheepishly.

“Of course not, Mr. Weasley!” She grinned up at Fred… very far up. “Here’s the little bean!” She turned the monitor and your heart melted.

“They’re beautiful,” Fred sighed, the tears welling up in his eyes. “Y/n, love, that’s our baby.” Now you were crying.

“Oh… wait.” Dr. Bloom piped up, except she didn’t sound even the least bit concerned. She turned the monitor back to herself as she searched the screen. 

“Doctor?” Fred questioned, a hint of fear pricking at his words.

She turned back to you, practically jumping out of her seat. “Mr. and Mrs. Weasley you are having twins!!” She practically shrieked as she turned the monitor back to you and Fred. “See? There’s one and there’s the other! Now, it’s too early to tell the gender but you do have two separate amniotic sacs so they could both be the same or you could get a boy and a girl!!”

You and Fred looked at each other once more before wrapping in a tight embrace. “Twins!” You both exclaimed in unison.

“Twins!” Dr. Bloom chimed back. “Twins are quite rare at your age, Mrs. Weasley. Do they run in either family?”

“I have a twin brother,” Fred replied, sounding quite proud of himself. “I can’t wait to tell Georgie!” he whispered to you.

“How fun! Aren’t genetics so interesting!?” She once again grinned up at both of you, both now standing. “Now I should mention that this immediately makes the pregnancy high risk.” Even while delivering somewhat concerning news, she still sounded chipper. “You’ll have to have more ultrasounds, you’ll get a lot bigger, and there is a chance you’ll have to go on bedrest for the last few weeks or you’ll have to deliver early. However, it is a good thing that you two are so young because that reduces all of these risks by a lot!” There were smiles around the room as she handed you the printed picture of the sonogram. “Oh! I almost forgot! Your due date is around early January, of course expect mid to late December since twins are usually born around 36 weeks rather than 38 to 40.” You and Fred thanked her as you headed out of the office.

*** Two months later...early July...14 weeks pregnant.

“Ugh! I look like a whale!” You cried out as you tried to tug your dress on. “Whyyy twins!? I’m barely four months but I look huge already!”

“Nonsense!” Fred piped up from behind you, peering in from the doorway. 

“Honestly I can’t believe I didn’t know until six bloody weeks! I was already showing then I just thought I got fat!”

“Nonsense!” He repeated. “You are bloody stunning, love.” He walked over to you and placed a kiss to your shoulder before crouching down and placing both hands on your belly. “No matter what you look like, you’ll always be gorgeous in my eyes.” He placed a kiss to your belly before standing up again and placing a kiss on your lips.

“Yeah you say that now, but wait until after I have these beans and I’m all saggy,” you chuckled, a tear pricking at your eyes at your true thoughts behind the joke.

“Still beautiful,” Fred kissed you again, laughing. Then he noticed the tear rolling down your face. “Love, what is it! For real, tell me.”

“I’m massive! And these stretch marks! I mean seriously, why do these have to be a thing?! You’re gonna see me after I have our babies and question why we even got pregnant in the first place.

“Y/n! Stoppit, please. These stretch marks are a sign of power and strength. What you’re doing is a bloody amazing thing, especially since you’re doing twice the work. You are the strongest, most fearless woman I know, and no matter what you look like, that won’t change. I can’t stand to see you talk about yourself like that,” he spoke softly, running his hands through your hair as he went. “I’m not walking away until you say that you love yourself no matter how you look. And you have to mean it.” He smiled down at you as he moved behind you to look at you in the mirror.

“I know you love me, Freddie. Thank you. These changes are just...hard,” you sighed a bit as you spoke. “But I love myself, and my body, and all of the amazing things I’m doing right now.” You smiled at him in the mirror. “Happy now?” There was humour in your tone but he could tell you meant what you had said.

“Very.” He kissed the top of your head before he spoke. “Now, we have a busy day. I told mum to gather everyone at the Burrow to share the news, although of course I didn’t tell her that bit. So we are heading there, then we have to take the photos to send out the announcements to everyone else, and then we have our visit with Dr. Bloom later.”

“I’m exhausted thinking about doing all of that,” you added with a laugh. “Can you believe it’s already our third visit? And we get to find out the genders today!” You added with a smile before trailing off, “Of course, only if you want to.”

“I’d love to find out what you’ve got in there, love,” he laughed at his remark, “But only if you do. And I suppose it doesn’t matter all that much in the end, does it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well it’s all up to them anyway. Boy, girl, somewhere in between, maybe it’ll change. I don’t know, I just want them to be happy and be who they are.” You almost burst into tears at his words.

“I love you, Fred. And our babies.”

“Love you, too.” He gave you a kiss as you both headed out of the bedroom door to apparate to the Burrow.

***

You and Fred tried your best to hide the bump as you came up the path to the front door, but of course everyone noticed as soon as you stepped inside and you were met with a barrage of excited comments.

“Fred Weasley I haven’t seen you in mo-, Y/n you’re pregnant!!” Molly shouted.

“Oi! Look at you, y/n!” Ron and Harry said in unison, “Congratulations!” Ginny and Hermione followed.

“Well would you look at that,” Bill uttered in surprise, “my baby brother’s going to have a baby of his own!” You and Fred exchanged knowing glances, wondering if you should tell them the extra surprise just yet.

“And you didn’t even tell me, your own twin brother!” George scoffed, sounding fake annoyed. “Congratulations, mate!” he said as he patted Fred on the shoulder, “and y/n you’re looking radiant as ever.” You just rolled your eyes and laughed.

“Actually…” Fred began, “we have an extra surprise.” This was met with puzzled looks all around. “Georgie, I guess twins run in the family cause we’re having our own!” This only welcomed another wave of excited shouts from the group.

“Twins!” Fred and Geroge exclaimed in unison, sharing the most excited faces you’d seen in a while.

“How wonderful!” Molly exclaimed, lightly touching your belly, “how far along, y/n? Do you know the genders yet?”

“Fourteen weeks, and we find out today!”

“Fourteen weeks!” George gawked, “Happy birthday to you Freddie…” Fred just rolled his eyes at his brother.

“Fourteen weeks and you’re already huge!” Ron piped up, earning a slap from Molly and Fred. “Heavens no I didn’t mean it like that! I just would’ve thought you were a bit farther along. My apologies, y/n. You look amazing.”

“It’s fine, Ron, I know,” you said, genuinely meaning it, “you get a bit bigger with two babies.” you laughed.

You all sat and talked for a few hours. Discussing everything from how you found out, when you told Fred, and how you felt about it. You noticed it was nearly time for your appointment, so you and Fred rose before saying goodbye to the group and apparating away.

***

“Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, good to see you again!” Dr. Bloom said, chipper as ever. You and Fred looked down at her, smiling. “Y/n, you know what to do, dear. Will you two be finding out the genders today?”

You and Fred looked at each other expectantly before pronouncing a resounding “Yes!” in unison.

“Fantastic,” Dr. Bloom laughed as she got started. “Alright Mrs. Weasley, the babies look amazing, perfectly healthy and the size we’d expect for fourteen weeks.” She smiled at you and Fred as she spoke. “Are we ready to have a look?” You and Fred nodded and grinned. “Alrighty, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, you are having girls!”

“They’re both girls?!” Fred exclaimed, both stunned and overjoyed.

“Yes! Congratulations!”

You and Fred embraced, both crying.

*** Three months later… end of September… 26 weeks pregnant

“Twelve weeks to go, love,” Fred said as he rubbed your belly, “can you believe it?”

“I certainly cannot. But I can believe that I wanna have these babies and be done with pregnancy,” you groaned. “I’m so excited to meet our beautiful baby girls, Freddie.”

“Me too, y/n. I’d never imagine you’d be so eager to give birth. I mean you look radiant and don’t all women just love being pregnant?” Fred muttered as the two of you were cuddled on the couch.

“Are you serious?” You asked, looking down at him.

“What?”

“I mean look at me!,” you exclaimed as you stood, looking at his seated figure on the couch. “I’m absolutely massive and I still have three months to go! I waddle when I walk, I can barely go upstairs without having to take a break at the top, my ankles and back hurt constantly because I’ve already gained thirty pounds and I can barely keep anything but toast down!” you continued, practically yelling, “I mean, how in the world could I be happy right now!”

“Cause you’re carrying our children…” Fred said softly, standing up and resting his hands on your belly. “Our daughters are in there, y/n.”

“I know that, Fred,” you sighed, “and I can’t wait to meet them. I’d just rather be done with this pregnancy. It’s been horrible! Does everyone feel like this?”

“I mean I know you’re extra hormonal but I think you’re overreacting just a bit, love.” wrong answer, Weasley.

“Excuse me?!” You shouted, taking a step back from Fred. “You try gaining this much weight, carrying TWO children,and being in constant pain!” You were yelling now.

“Y/n, I’m so sorry, I- I don’t know where that came from…”

“Yeah? Well you said it so there has to be some truth behind it, Fred. This is my pregnancy, not yours. I’m allowed to feel however I want right now and you can’t say a damn thing about it! At least make an effort to understand what I’m feeling.” You walked away and out into the gardens before he could respond.

Fred came outside to find you about thirty minutes later, wanting to give you some time to cool down. He found you lounged on the chair in the garden, a tear rolling down your cheek. “Y/n? Love, I-”

“I’m sorry, Fred.”

“What? Why? You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for,” he nearly whispered as he crouched down next to you and wiped the tear from your cheek.

“I exploded on you for no reason. I hate yelling, especially when it’s at you, especially when I have our daughters in me. I feel bad.”

“Love you absolutely had a reason to be upset, I made a horrible comment cause I wasn’t thinking. I’m so, so sorry, y/n. What you are going through is a massive change, and you’re right, I can’t even begin to comprehend what it’s like. It’s your body, your emotions, your experience and I stepped on that. I’m sorry.”

“I know. I love you so much, Freddie. And you’ve been absolutely amazing throughout these past six months. I couldn’t have asked for a better husband.”

“I love you, y/n, very much and I hope you know that.”

You slowly and painstakingly rose to your feet before taking his hand and heading inside.

*** Three months later… Christmas Eve… 39 weeks pregnant

“Fred!” you shouted from your bedroom at your husband. He was busy getting the gifts together so the two of you could head to the Burrow for the Christmas festivities. You were huge, tired, and pretty miserable given that you were now a week past your due date of December 17.

“What?!” Fred called out when he reached the bedroom having sprinted upstairs. He’d been on edge ever since your due date and every time you yell his name he thinks this is it, I’m going to meet my daughters. “Is everything okay? Is it time!?”

“No, Freddie,” you said slightly chuckling with an apologetic look on your face. “I just wanted to show you my Christmas Eve outfit.” You looked extremely festive in your red sweater, leggings (you had chosen jeans just ditched them for comfort), and little booties, which all came together with the little Santa hat atop your head.

“You look amazing, love. Ready to go?”

“Absolutely!” Fred went downstairs and came back up with the gifts and from the bedroom floor he grabbed your bags to stay a few nights at the Burrow. You didn’t even have the energy to apparate yourself, let alone go downstairs to do it.

Moments later you and Fred stood in the chilly air outside the Burrow. He quickly ushered you inside while struggling to balance the three bags he was holding.

“Freddie! Y/n!” Molly called out. “Here y/n, please sit,” she offered out the stop on the couch she was just in. You sat down rather fast for your condition, grateful to be off your feet. Molly took the bag of gifts from Fred as he went upstairs to put your bags in his old bedroom, which you’d reluctantly have to share with George and Angelina. “So how are you, darling? The kids are all outside gathering more wood for a fire, and probably getting into trouble,” she chuckled, “Can I get you anything?”

“Oh no, I’m perfectly fine thank you Molly.” She seemed satisfied as she hurried away to call everyone else in from the snowy backyard. The once quiet living room where just you and Arthur, who was asleep, sat quickly filled with Weasleys and their companions.

“Y/n! So great to see you, love,” Ginny smiled warmly at you.

“No babies yet?” Harry asked.

“Unfortunately not,” you chuckled. You answered other questions from the many Weasleys as you greeted them all. Fred then came running down the stairs when he heard everyone.

“Georgie!” he shouted, leaping into his brother’s arms.

“Well hello, Freddie!” he laughed as he hugged his brother. Everyone found various seats around the living room as they asked you more and Fred more questions.

“When is your due date, y/n?” Hermione asked.

“Well it was December 17, but as you can see we’ve since exceeded that.”

“Do you know the genders? If so, why haven’t you told me, er- us?” George questioned.

“We do know, and all in due time, brother.” Fred laughed.

“Are you nervous? Scared?” Charlie asked as Bill shot him a look.

“Extremely,” you and Fred said in unison, exchanging glances. “I’m just so scared I’ll do something wrong, you know?” Fred continued, “Like what if I’m not a good father and I mess them up somehow?” he asked, voice shaky.

“Freddie,” you said softly as Molly spoke up.

“Fred, honey, you’ll do great! Your father and I have surely raised you right and you’re a bloody amazing person, dear. You’ll be one of the best fathers out there!” This was met with affirming nods and ‘mhmm’ from around the room. Seemingly calmed down, Fred took a deep breath as Fleur spoke up.

“Do you have any names in mind?”

“A couple,” you responded, “we definitely want them to have some sentimental or family value to them.”

“Little George Weasley Junior!” George exclaimed. “Or Georgina,” he quickly added.

“They aren’t your kids, you git,” Fred laughed. “Perhaps their middle names could be Molly and Ginevra.” Fred quickly realised his slip, earning a death glare from you as he turned pale as a ghost. He quickly corrected himself, “Or maybe even William, or Percy, or Charles, or… uh… um George, or Ronald, or even Arthur.” He was rambling and it was obvious he was only trying to cover up.

“Y/n Weasley do you have two baby girls in there?” Molly asked, grinning.

“Yes I do! But they aren’t identical,” you said proudly. “We were hoping to announce it tomorrow but someone can’t keep his mouth shut,” you laughed. You and Fred were met with more congratulations and excited sentiments, and Ginny looked like she was about to explode.

“Two baby girls!” she exclaimed, “Harry, we may have to have our own soon!” Harry just froze in his spot and paled.

After many hours of conversation between everyone, it was getting late.

“Alright, kids,” Molly spoke up, “bedtime.”

“But Mummm,” George whined, “ we aren’t children anymore.”

“Then why are you whining like one George Weasley?” Everyone snickered as George turned red. Everyone retreated upstairs to their childhood bedrooms.

“You know, Georgie, sharing a room was great when we were kids but now we’re adults with wives and it’s rather unfortunate.” Fred said to his brother.

“I think it’s quite fun,” George responded, “like one last sleepover before you and y/n are boring adults with kids.”

“Hey now Georgie,” you chimed in, “you seemed awfully excited about these babies a moment ago.”

“Well of course I am, y/n! I can’t wait to meet my little nieces, but I will miss my brother.”

“Oh you wish I’d leave you alone, Georgie,” Fred laughed. 

After getting organized and settled you all climbed into your respective beds. At least they weren’t too close to each other. It was quite difficult to squeeze into the twin sized bed with yourself, Fred, and the baby bump. You eventually made it work and found yourselves cuddled closer than ever, though neither of you seemed to mind.

***

You and Fred woke up Christmas morning to an empty room and the smell of breakfast creeping up the stairs. 

“Morning, love,” Fred whispered sleepily. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, love,” you said as you kissed him. He helped you out of bed before the two of you got ready for the day. You and Fred went downstairs and were met with warm smiles from the Weasleys.

“Morning you two!” Molly smiled at you from the kitchen, “Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas, Molly, and everyone else of course!”

After breakfast everyone found a place in the livingroom and around the tree, elated to receive their Weasley jumpers. As she was passing them around Molly whispered only to you, “I made you one a bit bigger. It’s not for pregnancy cause I figured you’d have the babies by now, but I figured it’ll be nice right after you have them.”

You felt a tear prick at your eye, “thank you, Molly.”

“Of course, dear,” she said, then continued at a normal volume, “I was going to knit some for the babies but we don’t know their names yet! As soon as they’re born I’ll get to work!”

Gifts were passed out between couples, in-laws, and siblings as laughs and smiles were traded around the room. You were about to give Fred his gift when you felt that dreaded pain in your lower back and abdomen. You stopped mid-movement to clutch your stomach, clearly in pain.

“Y/n?” he asked. Between your noises in pain and his questioning, you had the attention of everyone in the room and quickly felt yourself turn red. “Is this what I think it is?” 

“Yeah, I think it was,” you responded once the contraction subsided.

“Merlin!” Hermione gasped, and Fred only turned stark white and didn’t know what to do.

“Is it time?” Ginny asked, sounding more than a bit concerned. Her voice matched the face of everyone else in the room.

“No, I don’t think so. That’s the first contraction I’ve ever had. It’s either my body giving me a little ‘preparation’ one or this is early labour.” Fred winced at ‘labour’.

“Could it be false contractions?” Molly asked, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“I don’t think so. Dr. Bloom said that at this far along any contractions are probably real. She also said that I wouldn’t be able to talk through them, which I couldn’t, and that they’d last at least forty-five seconds. Was anyone timing that, by chance?” you chuckled, expecting the answer to be no.

“Actually, yes,” Hermione spoke up, “fifty-two seconds precisely.”

“Do… do we need to go to the hospital?” Fred asked, finally out of his daze and finally able to speak. 

“No, dear,” you and Molly both said. You took a deep breath before continuing, “Dr. Bloom said early labour is confirmed when you have at least two an hour that are forty-five to sixty-five seconds long. And to notify her and get to the hospital when they are five minutes apart and at least two minutes long, or whenever my water breaks.” Fred winced again at that. “There’s still a chance that could’ve just been a… warning contraction,” you said looking around the room, “Even if this is labour, can we please go about the day normally? I’d like to enjoy Christmas.”

“Of course, love,” Molly said, “but you’re going to the hospital as soon as it’s time, Christmas or not.”

About forty minutes later, you had another contraction. You were in the kitchen talking to Bill as he was washing up dishes from breakfast. 

“So have you and Fred gotten the nursery set up? I’d sure hope so considering you’re in labour,” he chuckled.

“Well I may not be in la-” you groaned in pain as the second contraction hit.

“Y/n? Is it-” You could only nod your head in response.

“Well I guess I’m in labour,” you chuckled.

“Forty-nine seconds,” he told you, and you were grateful he had counted. You thanked him and walked off to find Fred after assuring him you were completely fine.

Bill finished up and everyone was in the living room. You came back downstairs to share the news. “Looks like I’m officially in labour, everyone!” You were met with cheers, everyone knew it would be soon considering you were overdue.

As the day went on you kept having contractions, and it was like the world would stop spinning whenever one would hit you. Whoever you were in the room with would stop whatever they were doing, count the time for you, and not resume their actions until triple-checking that you were okay. You had also been keeping track of the minutes between contractions, holding steady at about thirty-five. You and Fred went to bed early that night as you were so exhausted from the contractions. You could barely sleep as the contractions kept coming. You’d hoped that they would just hurry up and get you into active labour, but they stayed at no less than thirty-three minutes apart.

Another contraction woke you up the next morning after what couldn’t have been more than an hour of sleep. You just stared at the ceiling, uncomfortable until the contraction passed. Fifty-six seconds. You assumed it was rather early as Fred, George, and Angelina were still asleep. You wandered downstairs, expecting mostly everyone to be awake, thinking it was a normal hour knowing the twins always sleep in. Instead you were welcomed by early morning darkness, save for Percy and his small table lamp. 

“It’s barely even six, what’re you doing up?”

“Barely slept, didn’t realize how early it was.” He shrugged and put his book down for you. The third-born Weasley was quite a unique being. Priding himself on his neatness, intelligence, and punctuality, he was already dressed in his daily suit. Come to think of it, you weren’t sure you’d ever seen him in anything other than a suit.

“Still only a half hour apart?” he asked as he headed to the kitchen.

“Unfortunately,” you sighed, “twenty hours now, Percy.” He sighed in content as he handed you a mug of tea, which you then thanked him for.

“What do they feel like? Is it terribly painful?”

“Eh, I wouldn’t say painful. It’s more like pressure and squeezing. I’m sure they’ll hurt more in active labour.” And as you finished your sentence a contraction hit you.

“Merlin,” Percy said when it was over, “that was sixty-one seconds, y/n.”

“That’s the longest one yet,” you said, looking slightly concerned, “and I had one when I woke up, which couldn’t have been more than twenty-five minutes ago.”

“Well I guess things are finally speeding up, eh?” You smiled at him as you sipped your tea. You had always taken a liking to Percy. Sure he was nearly two years older than you, but you had always had the most in common. You can recall all of the late night conversations you’d shared in the Hogwarts library when you and Fred had just started dating.

*** 

It was around four that afternoon and your labour was finally starting to move along. You were just so happy to be almost done with pregnancy that it was like a little celebration everytime you had a contraction, although they were getting more painful. You were out in the garden with Fleur when another one hit.

“Exactly! So these rose-” you froze in pain, the worst it had been yet. You could see Fleur counting silently, her lips moving and eyes darting around in concentration. When it was over you let out a tired yet excited sigh. “How long?” you asked eagerly.

“Seventy seconds, mademoiselle!” you had confided in Fleur about your struggles and she was now just as relieved as you were. “How long since the last?”

“Fifteen minutes!” You practically cheered. You had been in labour for thirty hours now, and not even active labour yet, and you were over it. 

The day went on and the contractions got closer and closer together, but of course more and more painful. By eight that night they were nine minutes apart and Molly made you sit on the couch, not allowing you to get up. “I know it’s not time to go yet, but you need your rest, y/n,” she said, “you have a lot of work ahead of you. Let me get you some tea, love.” She gave you a sympathetic smile before walking away. 

Not ten seconds later you groaned loudly in pain as another contraction hit you. Luckily Ron had been in the living room and was crouching at your side in an instant. You whimpered as the pain took over, just wanting it to end. The contraction finally subsided as Ron was running his hand up and down your leg. “Eighty-two seconds now, y/n. Almost there!” He gave his lopsided smile before standing up. “That one seemed bad, are you okay?”

“That one was pretty bad, but I’m fine. Thank you , Ron.” He smiled again before returning to his seat. Molly had been in the doorway and was smiling proudly at her son. She handed you your mug of tea.

“Let me go fetch Fred, love. He’s been outside with Georgie shoveling snow but I’m sure you’d rather have him with you.” She walked off before you could thank her or respond.

Moments later Fred joined you on the couch. Laying back and settling you between his legs so he could place his hands on your belly. His warmth enveloped you and would surely be comforting with the next contraction. “Hi, love,” he whispered, “how are you?”

“Miserable, Freddie,” you answered honestly.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as he kissed your head. A few minutes later another contraction hit and you tensed against Fred. He gently rubbed your belly and whispered in your ear, helping you through it.

“Eighty-five seconds,” Ron piped up. “Getting closer!”

You smiled at him, silently thanking him. “I think I just want to go to bed now.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, dear,” Molly said, “you’re getting very close and if your water breaks while you're asleep you may not notice.”

“I probably won’t be doing much sleep, but I know I shouldn’t go up.”

“Just relax, darling,” Fred whispered, “I’m right here, you’ll be okay.”

It was now ten thirty, and your contractions were now just under seven minutes apart and very very painful. A particularly bad one hit you as you let out a small scream, you were breathing heavy when it was over. The entire group was in the living room, practically watching your every move.

“Just shy of two minutes, y/n.” Ginny said.

“Thank you,” you said. “You can all go to bed,” you addressed the group, “it’s late.”

“Nonsense!” George said, “We aren’t sleeping until you have those babies.” Everyone nodded and agreed with him.

“I think it’s time to head to the hospital, love,” Fred said.”

“No, Fred,” you replied, a little more sternly than you had intended. “They aren’t five minutes apart yet and they aren’t two minutes long.”

“Love, you’re in a lot of pain and the contractions are barely seven minutes apart any more. That last one was three seconds shy of two minutes.”

“I said no, Fred. I will when they get to six minutes, okay?” He just sighed and placed another kiss on your head.

An hour went by and you were seemingly stuck at seven minutes apart. The pain wasn’t any worse or any better, it was as if you were stuck in labour limbo. You’d been in labour for thirty eight hours now. Various Weasleys had drifted in and out of sleep, but everyone remained relatively alert and they all were at attention when a contraction hit. And after a few more minutes, one did. You let out a louder cry as this one was particularly bad.

“Merlin, that was only six minutes since the last one!” Charlie said, realising what this meant. “Two minutes and two seconds.”

“Love, can we please go now?” Fred asked. “You promised we would when they were six minutes apart.”

“Just a few more contractions, Freddie. They may not stay that close, it could go back up.” Fred only groaned.

“Y/n,” Molly began, “you know I love you but that’s not usually how that works. Speaking from experience, you know I have done this a few times, I think you should go.”

“I don’t want to…” you muttered quietly, but mostly everyone still heard due to the night time silence.

“What’s that, love?” Fred asked.

“I don’t want to go.”

“Well I know you don’t just yet, we can wait a little bit if you’d really like.”

“No, Fred, I don’t want to go at all.”

“Pardon? I don’t think mum would like it very much if you had our babies on her couch.”

“I scared Fred,” you whimpered, holding back tears which inevitably came down. Everyone in the room was looking at you with either concern, sympathy, or both. “I can’t do this… I can’t do this…” you were fully crying now.

“Love, what do you mean? Of course you can do this. You’ve been carrying our babies for nearly ten months now. You’re the strongest woman I know, you can do anything.”

“I know, I’m just scared that something bad is going to happen.” Molly crouched down next to you when she heard that.

“Y/n, I was bloody terrified the first time. We were so young just like you and Fred were. I had all of the same feelings, and believe it or not they all came back again with the twins even though I’d done it three times before. I’ll be honest, having a baby isn’t easy, especially when you do it twice in one day, but I know how strong you are and I know you can do this.” She took your hand in hers and smiled at you. “So would you like to go to the hospital now, love?”

Everyone in the room looked at you expectantly awaiting your answer. You could hear the collective sigh of relief when you nodded your head. The house was quickly alive in an instant. Molly helped you to your feet, everyone put on their winter jackets, Fred called Dr. Blom, and George grabbed the hospital bags. In an instant you had all apparated away to the hospital where you were quickly ushered into a room. The nurse had gotten you situated and into the bed as the Weasley family removed their coats and hats as they found places to sit or stand around the room. Your contractions were four minutes apart now and your water had broken. Fred and George stood on either side of you, squeezing your hands and helping you through each contraction however you needed. Dr. Bloom burst into the room a few minutes later, looking rather peppy for it being midnight, as she began to ask you all the standard questions. You had started to answer, but Fred took over when another contraction hit. Dr. Bloom estimated you had about twenty more minutes to go. Your contractions were now two minutes apart and lasted nearly three minutes. You were showered with words of encouragement from all around the room and George and Fred kept your hair out of your face and rubbed your shoulders. Just as Dr. Bloom has estimated, twenty minutes later she declared that you were ready. “Alrighty! Everyone except the father out!”, a nurse declared as the room burst into a flurry of activity.

“You heard her, love,” Fred began, “out you go.”

You wanted to laugh at his joke but another contraction came over you. “Alright Mrs. Weasley,” Dr. Bloom said, “you can start pushing now!”

About ten minutes of horrible pain later, Dr. Bloom announced, “here’s the first baby, born 12:34 am on December 27, 2002!”

You and Fred both began to cry as the screaming baby was placed on your chest. Sure she

was red and wrinkly, but she was yours. “Ready for round two, Mrs. Weasley?” After a longer amount of time Dr. Bloom spoke up again, “And here’s baby number two! Born 12:50 am on December 27, 2002!” The second baby was placed on your chest and you and Fred were still crying. After a short time, two nurses came to clean the babies up as Dr. Bloom finished what she was doing. Not ten minutes later the babies were handed back to you in their little caps and hospital blankets. 

“They’re beautiful, love. Fantastic job.”

“Thank you, Freddie. But I suppose you had a part in this as well.” You both chuckled as

Fred gently ran his finger over the cheek of the baby closest to him. The girls weren’t identical, but they may as well have been. Every single feature was the same, all except the hair. Both girls were born with a full head of hair, and the only difference between the two was that one had the trademark Weasley red hair and the other had your hair color. The rest of their features were practically a direct copy of Fred. “Would you like to hold your daughters?”

Fred nearly fainted at those words, his daughters, he gently cradled each baby in his arms, whispering to each of them. “Hi, loves. I’m your dad. And that’s your mum over there, she’s the bravest woman you’ll ever meet. I can’t wait to bring you two home.” You practically melted at his words. After a while longer the rest of the Weasleys were brought in and welcomed by you and Fred, who each had one baby. They all remarked over how both girls looked just like Fred, and how the hair was the only difference.

After a moment you spoke up once everyone surrounded the bed and you had their attention. “Everyone,” you began, slightly holding up the red-haired baby in your arms, “this is Cassiopeia Ginevra Weasley.”

“And this,” Fred began with the other little girl in his arms, “is Calliope Molly Weasley.” There wasn’t a dry eye in the room as everyone admired the newest Weasleys.

“You did have the names picked out!” Bill exclaimed. Molly and Ginny were crying the most, looking overjoyed at the babies named after them.

“I love the names, y/n,” Percy said, “you could call them Callie and Cassie for short.” There was a collective ‘awww’ around the room as everyone had realised what you and Fred had done.

After another hour or so of everyone admiring the babies, you started to drift off to sleep. Everyone agreed it was time to be heading home to give you so much-needed rest. You quickly fell asleep, happy to not have to worry about contractions anymore, as Fred set the girls in their little carts before sitting in the chair beside your bed.

“I love you, y/n,” he whispered, “and our new family.”

[kpoptrashibnida]

Enough Pt. 10

A/N: What is up my peeps! Here is part 10, I hope you guys enjoy it! Feedback is always welcomed/wanted! Happy Reading!

WARNINGS: 18+, SMUT

Chanyeol knew that what he was doing was borderline insane. He didn’t understand it himself, really. It was as if something possessed his body and took over his normally cool and collected self. He felt powerless to his impulse, the need to know the information he wanted overpowered his sense of what’s right and what’s wrong. But then again, he felt like he didn’t know how to properly differentiate from the two. He often knew what was right but didn’t always do it. 

‘It’s okay to look. It’s for research purposes. I just want to see what she is up to. There’s nothing wrong with that…’ Chanyeol thought as he willed himself to open up his Instagram app and type your name in the search box. He groaned in frustration as thousands of pages popped up with similar names to yours. When you two were hooking up he never added you in any of his social media accounts. He figured that it would make things less complicated if you weren’t there to see all the posts he would like and comment on or get tagged in. He didn’t want anything messy or complicated and that’s why he used to be fine with not having you on his social media. 

After weeks of not hearing from you or being able to get into contact with you, he finally decided to hit rock bottom and look you up online. The only problem is that it seemed like everyone and their mother had the same name as you. Trying to find your profile was going to be a wild goose chase, so he went on Suho’s instagram to look up Mina and from there to look for you. Thankfully that plan worked perfectly because he was able to find you right away in Mina’s followers list. He was very relieved when he saw that your page was public, giving him access to your photos without having to follow you. If your account had been private, he knew he was not going to add you because he was too prideful. 

Your instagram feed was pretty safe; it consisted of photos of food, landscapes, photos of you and Mina and a few cute selfies. There was a photo that caught his attention. At first sight it only looked like a photo of a coffee cup at a cafe, but once he clicked on the photo and zoomed in, he could see the corner of a face that appeared to be of a man. There was no indication on the caption that you were with anyone in particular and no one was tagged. The caption read ‘it’s always coffee o’clock’. Which meant nothing because you were obsessed with coffee. The person in the photo could be a guy but it could also be a girl with a short hair style. Or it could be a coworker and nothing else. 

‘No need to freak out.’ Chanyeol thought, ‘it’s probably nothing. She is probably too busy to date anyway.’ 

He couldn’t help himself and clicked on the comments to see what people wrote. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary… until he saw the one comment.

Itsminakim: drink water hoe ;p

Itssuhokim: im surprised you don’t have kidney failure by now

Gldnboiijk: noona! I miss getting you coffee! Plz come back to seoul. I miss you >.<

Jjh_2019: i’m glad i met the person that loves coffee as much as i do :D

The last comment rubbed Chanyeol the wrong way even though it wasn’t necessarily a flirty or incriminating comment. Something about it just bothered Chanyeol and he couldn’t understand why. He clicked on the profile and was annoyed at the fact that this person’s profile was private. All he could see what that his name is Jung Jaehyun and that he works for Friends Corp as well. He clearly is one of your coworkers, and hopefully nothing else. Chanyeol finally sighed and put his phone away, deciding that he did enough digging for one day. You seemed to be having a good time in New York and he should be happy for you. And he was, he just hoped he could talk to you. He had been busy at work producing music for a multitude of artists, his songs actually being very successful. He was elated at the fact that he had an actual career now doing something that he loved and it was going well for him now. 

He finally felt like he was getting his life together and he wanted to keep improving as a person. He wanted to be someone that you would be proud of and would be willing to give him a second chance. You were almost halfway through your year-long project contract and he was really hoping he could get in touch with you by the time you got back. Suho was still being a hardass and not budging on giving him any more information about you. It sucked that even his close friend didn’t believe that he could change and be more serious about his relationships. 

“Mr. Park.” Jihyo said as she knocked on his office door.

“Yes, come in.” He said, putting his phone away in his drawer.

“Ms. Kim is here with her manager. They’re in the conference room and they’re ready to start on the new single.” Jihyo informed, holding the door open for Chanyeol.

“Thank you Jihyo.” He followed her out the door and to the conference room.

‘No time to focus on those things. It’s time to focus on work and grind.’ He thought, putting on a smile on his face as he walked into the conference room, ready to tackle a new project.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

After a long week of work you were glad to finally be able to relax and enjoy your time off. The pop-up project was halfway completed and it was crunch time. You were busy setting up meetings with local newspapers, magazines, tv stations and online blogs. You had endless conference calls and meetings. What helped you stay sane was working with your three favorite boys, endless cups of coffee and the foot massages Jaehyun would give you after long days of meetings and presentations. 

You filled up your bath with lavender salts and turned on some relaxing music. You started to undress and you slowly sat down on the tub, letting out a low groan at the feeling of the hot water relaxing your muscles. 

“I brought that wine. Still want it?” Jaehyn asked as he walked into your bathroom with two glasses of wine. 

“Yes please.” You sat up and excitedly grabbed the wine glass form Jaehyun.

He sat down on a stool you had in your bathroom and sipped on his wine with a smile on his face as he watched you relax as you drink your wine. He eyes the wet skin of your chest and looks away before his thoughts get too carried away. Ever since you two took your relationship to the next level, it was something you did almost on a daily basis. Jaehyun basically moved into your apartment because he mostly stayed at your place now. You’d go to work together, go home together, ate dinner together and fall asleep in each others arms after some passionate lovemaking. He already had some clothes at your place, occupying a small part of your closet. Your bathroom vanity also had his hair products, toothbrush and other personal items. Jaehyun was very excited about the way your relationship was going and he hoped it kept getting better. 

“So are you just going to sit there and stare off into space or are you going to join me?” You asked, amused at Jaehyun’s spaced out expression. You figured he was also very tired from the long work week and you thought he might need to relax as well. 

“You want me to join you? I don’t want to interfere with your relaxing bath.” He said, taking your empty glass away and putting it on the sink. 

“You won’t. Come in and relax with me.” You said with a sly smile, moving your hand in the water and making waves.

“Well if you insist.” He said with a chuckle. He quickly undressed and he was in his naked glory before you knew it. You gulped and looked away as he walked towards the tub. You don’t know why you got so shy all of a sudden. You have seen him naked multiple times but you couldn’t help the way your body reacts to him. You didn’t want to push him to anything because you were both tired, but you were insatiable when it came to Jaehyun. 

He got in behind you and tried to adjust himself in the small space. You tried to wiggle your body away from him so he had more space to get comfortable in but you were stopped by his hands on your hips. 

“Babe, unless you want me to have a problem, I’m going to need you to stop moving.” He bit out, trying to keep his growing erection away from your body. 

“Sorry.” You said sheepishly, relaxing your body against his and placing your hands on top of his as they rested on your waist. 

You hum in contentment as your body started to relax, enjoying the warmth of the water and the heat that was radiating off Jaehyun’s body. He was enjoying having you in his arms but the way the water moved around him and your soft body on full display for him was making his body react in a carnal manner. He was trying hard not to focus on it, but his body had a mind of his own. You felt his erection press against your lower back and you tried to hold back the smile that was trying to escape. Jaehyun has very high stamina and you honestly are not complaining about it. It was so cute how he made no move to relieve himself of his needs and it warms your heart just how considerate he is of you and your needs. However, when it came to Jaehyun, you were very insatiable. He could take you over and over, day after day and you would not get tired of it. Deciding to put an end to both of your misery you turn around as best as you could in the cramped space of the tub, facing Jaehyun with a sly smile on your face.

“What are you doing?” He asked with an amused smile on his face. 

“I wanna kiss you.” You tried to hover above him and he adjusted himself so you could slip your thighs around him easier.

You leaned in to kiss him, your chest pressed up against him sensually with the way the water caressed both your bodies. Jaehyun kissed you back with fervor, allowing his hands to roam your hips and thighs, eventually making it to your ass and squeezing slightly. His actions made you moan into his mouth which fueled the need in him. His erection was pressing against your thigh and you couldn’t take it anymore. You were already soaking wet and you just needed Jaehyun in you. Breaking the kiss, you widen your stance even further and move up Jaehyun’s body, aligning your center with his hard cock. He guides your hips as you sink down on him, groans leaving both your mouths as you feel yourself being stretched out by his thick cock.

“You feel so good.” You pant against his neck, the stimulation of the water and his dick was overwhelming.

“I can’t get enough of you baby.” Jaehyun grunted, snapping his hips upward as he pounded into you.

You moaned at the feeling, not really worried at the fact that water was splashing everywhere and making a mess. You were more occupied with what was going on between your thighs.

“Fuck baby, I think I’m going to cum.” Jaehyun panted, throwing his head back with a low moan as you moved yourself up and down on his cock, squeezing your walls around him. 

After a few more thrusts you felt yourself come undone, a low moan escaping your lips and you shuddered on top of Jaehyun. Your pussy clenching around him is what finally brought him to his climax, both of you panting and holding each other in the blissful aftermath. You pulled away slightly to look at Jaehyun and you couldn’t help but smile at him, leaning in to kiss him with ernest. The kiss was electrifying and soon the kiss became more intense and urgent. 

You laid on your bed face down with nothing on but your fluffy bathrobe. Your mind and body were exhausted and all you wanted to do was sleep even though your stomach was rumbling loudly. After your session in the bathtub with Jaehyun, he gave you one more orgasm in the bathtub and another one in the shower. By the time you were out of the shower you were clean and exhausted. Jaehyun had to help you into your robe and carry you to the bed because your legs felt like jelly and they weren’t functioning properly. Once he left you on the bed, he got dressed and left to the kitchen. You were finally dozing off when you heard the bedroom door open, making you open one eye to see Jaehyun come in with a pizza box in hand.

“Hey babe, I have dinner. You should eat something before you sleep, you had a rough day.” He said, slyly putting emphasis on the word rough.

You rolled your eyes and sat up to sit at the head of the bed, happily accepting the plate that Jaehyun hands over. He also brought you some ginger ale and set it down on the night stand beside you. He turned on the tv to put on your favorite tv show while you ate. You felt blissfully happy like this, next to Jaehyun and in your home. Once you were done eating and brushed your teeth, you fell asleep almost instantly wrapped in Jaehyun’s arms. 

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

 It was Sunday night and you were folding laundry while watching TV; Jahyun had gone to get some Chinese food and you were getting everything ready for your work week. You were in the middle of hanging some skirts when your phone went off. You saw that it was Mina and instantly went to pick it up, happy to hear from your best friend.

“Mina! How are you?” You answered excitedly, making her chuckle.

“Dang girl, you’re that happy to hear from me?” She said, amused at your tone. 

“I’m always happy to hear from you silly.” You said as you walked to the laundry room, placing the last clean load into the dryer. 

“You’re so cute! Well I am calling you because  I have some news…” Mina trailed off, making you curious and slightly nervous. 

“Are you okay?” You asked instantly, worried that there was something wrong. 

“Yes, I’m fine. Better than fine actually, I’m great. I wanted to call and tell you the news… I’m pregnant!” She said excitedly, a surprised gasp leaving your mouth. 

“Oh my god? Really? How far along are you?” You asked, feeling the tears well up in your eyes. You were going to be an aunt!

“I am 4 weeks along. We wanted to wait until the first trimester was over before we told the news to anyone. But now that the doctor gave us the all clear and everything looks good, we decided to break out the good news!” Mina sounded so excited as she explained the situation.

You were so immersed in your conversation you didn’t even notice Jaehyun walk in to the apartment. He heard your excited chatter and figured you were on the phone with Mina. You only ever got that animated talking to her. He placed the bags of food on the counter and sat on the stool, patiently waiting for your call to end.

“I am so beyond happy for you and Suho. As if you guys couldn’t be the most perfect couple, now you’re going to be the most perfect parents. Please send me as many updates! Link my calendar with yours so I know when you have your doctors appointments.” You said sternly, making Mina laugh.

“Oh my god and I thought Suho was bad, you’re worse! But of course I am going to keep you updated on everything. You’ll get sick of me.” She giggled playfully, making you roll your eyes at her antics.

“I could never get sick of you. I wish I could be there with you.” You whispered the last part, not trusting your voice at that moment. Tears threatened to escape but you willed them back, not wanting to make her worry.

But of course, Mina wasn’t your best friend just in title, she knows you better than you know yourself.

“Don’t cry bitch, you’re going to make me cry.” She chastised, voice sounding wobbly as well.

Before you could say anything else, you heard a distant and muffled ‘hey!’, before Mina could continue.

“Right! Sorry babe! Suho wants me to stop cursing. He says that the baby can hear and he wants me to not say bad words around the baby once it’s born. It’s so hard though!” She whined, making you laugh.

“He’s got a point.” You agreed, making her whine at you because you are her best friend and you should be on her side, not her husbands. 

“Alright babe, I have to get going. I just wanted to call you to let you know of the newest member of the Kim family. I have to call my mom and my sister before it gets too late.” She rambled, speaking faster than normal. Those pregnancy hormones are no joke. 

“You haven’t told your sister or your mom?” You asked in disbelief.

“Of course not. I called you first.” She said in a nonchalant voice.

“Aww you do love me!” You teased, knowing how much Mina hates when you do that.

“Okay, I’m hanging up now. Love you.” She says, blowing a kiss into the receiver.

“Love you too.” You reply, hanging up the call. 

“Everything okay?” You jumped when you heard Jaehyun’s voice behind you. 

“You startled me!” You said in a breathless laugh, your hand on your chest as if to stop the erratic beating of your heart.

“Sorry babe, you were really into your conversation and I didn’t want to interrupt.” He said as he made his way towards you, snaking his arms around your waist to bring you close to him and press a soft kiss on your forehead. 

“It’s okay.” You said, standing on your toes to give him a small peck on the lips.

“So what was your call about?” He inquired as you both made your way to the kitchen, where the forgotten food was.

“Mina called me to tell me she is pregnant.” You said with a smile, taking your food boxes out of the bag.

“That’s amazing! But how come you look a little down?” He asked, noticing that you didn’t seem as excited as you were earlier when you were talking to Mina. 

“Well, it’s just that I always thought I’d be there with Mina during her pregnancy. To go with her to her doctor’s appointments, to help her set up the nursery, go shopping for baby clothes… and I’m going to miss out on a lot of that.” You explained, sniffling away the tears that threatened to come out again.

Jaehyun came over to your side and wrapped his arms around you in a comforting hug, rubbing slow circles on your back.

“I understand that you are upset. But the project will be over before she’s due. You’ll be able to see her then.” He said with a soft smile, hoping his words will cheer you up.

“You’re right babe.” You replied, feeling a little better about the whole situation. 

Later that night as you lay in bed, you were feeling anxious again. This time it wasn’t about Mina’s pregnancy, but about the end of this year long project. Once it was over, you were going to go back to Seoul. You couldn’t move to the states and you didn’t even know what was going to happen to Jaehyun once the project was over. Your guess is that he is staying in New York because he was already stationed here before the project started. You did not want to think about what would happen to your relationship, but it was hard to ignore the reality of it all. Jaehyun truly was the best guy you have ever been with and you did not want that to end. You didn’t even know what Jaehyun was going to want to do; maybe long distance is not something he is into. You tossed and turned that night with a heavy feeling in your chest and a cold empty spot next to you in bed.

“Damn noona, you okay?” Mark asked as you walked into your office, he handed you a coffee cup and you sat down and powered on your computer.

“I feel like hell.” You said, sipping your coffee and closing your eyes contentedly.

“No offense noona but you look like hell too.” He giggled at your glare and sat down on the chair in front of you.

“Thanks. Glad to know the ten minutes I spent this morning trying to look decent was a complete waste of time.” You said sarcastically.

“I’m just messing with you. By the way, the meeting is in fifteen minutes.” He reminded you, making you groan out in misery. You did not feel like going to this meeting. You just wanted to be holed up in your office and not interact with anyone. Well, maybe just interact with one person. 

“Okay, I’ll be there shortly. Do you have the revised briefing packets?” You asked, mentally preparing yourself for your day.

“Yes! I made all the copies and they’re ready to go.” He informs, standing up to leave your office.

“Thanks, I’ll see you in ten.” You said, waving goodbye and focusing on your computer screen.

You brought up your calendar and email, ready to see your work load for the day. A knock caught your attention and you growled lowly before telling the person to enter.

“Hey babe, just wanted to say hello this morning.” Jaehyun said as he walked in your office.

“Oh, hi honey. I didn’t know it was you.” You said as you got up from your desk and made your way to him.

“Are you okay? You look a bit tired.” He said with concern, eyes scanning your face.

You frowned at him, giving him your best pouty face. “I couldn’t sleep last night.” You informed, draping your arms around his shoulders.

“Aww you couldn’t sleep without me there?” He teased, giving your nose a peck. You didn’t say anything, you just lay your head on his shoulder and hug him silently. This made Jaehyun a little worried since you weren’t normally like this.

“Hey, are you sure you’re okay? Wanna talk about it?” He whispered, hugging you tighter to him.

You hummed against his shoulder and turned your face to place a small kiss on his neck. He tilted his head towards you to give you a peck on your cheek, but you moved your head at that time and connected your lips with his. He kissed you slowly and sweetly but you deepen the kiss, pulling him closer to you. Jaehyun is a bit surprised, since you usually try to not get too physical at work. However he doesn’t pull away or try to slow you down. He wraps his arms around your waist and brings you closer to him, the kiss  getting deeper.

“Ahem, sorry to interrupt but the meeting is starting in five…” Johnny said from tour doorway, you and Jaehyun jumping away from each other the second Johnny cleared his throat. 

“Thank you Jon.” Jaehyun said, clearing his throat a couple times.

“Welcome. Oh! And just a tip, close the door next time.” He rolled his eyes and he walked towards the conference room. 

“Okay, well after that humiliating bit, we should get going to the conference room.” He said, gently wiping your lips with his thumb. 

“At least it was him and not one of the receptionists.” You said with a shudder, making Jaehyun laugh as he grabbed your hand and dragged you over to the conference room.

Everyone got settled into their assigned seats, waiting for the head project manager to arrive. Mark has already placed a copy of the briefing packet in front of every seat and was happily seated in the back row, ready to take as many notes as needed. 

The room quieted down when Park Jeongsu, the project manager, entered the room and took his spot at the head of the room. He is a man in his late thirties and is incredibly handsome and youthful for a man his age. He is well respected by his coworkers and he does an exceptional job as a project manager. Everyone is happy working under his wing and he is part of the reason why the project is ahead of schedule. 

“Good morning everyone, thank you for being here this morning, ready to tackle today’s meeting.” He started, smiling at everyone in attendance. “I see that the marketing team has handed out their packets, so let’s start with that.” He sat down and let you take over with your proposal. 

You went over the details of all the promotions the marketing team is doing to spread awareness of the new popup shop and the website. You went into detail about all the influential people your team was going to invite to make an appearance at the opening gala, as well as naming all the benefactors that will be invited as well. You sat down after your short presentation, everyone in the room murmuring in approval and excitement.

“Thank you very much, excellent job as always.” Mr. Park said, getting back up from his seat. “Now for the opening gala, there are a few details left. Miss Lee, would you please update us on the status of those details.” He said, giving Wendy the floor to speak.

“Thank you. We were finally able to find a new vendor that can provide the linens needed for the gala. They are willing to special make the linens in the colors that we need for the event, so the orders are already in for that and they should be getting delivered here within the next two weeks. The final detail we need to complete the project is choosing our musical guest appearance. We want to best represent Korea with some of its best artists and producers. We have gotten in contact with some of the artists and we are waiting for a reply from their managers or agencies.” Wendy reported expertly. She’s not the head of event planning for nothing. 

“That’s wonderful news. Is it possible to know who you have in mind?” Mr. Park asked

“Yes of course. We want to have a diversity of groups and decided it would be good to have a male group, a girl group and some solo artists. For the male group we decided to reach out to GOT7, for the girl group we decided to reach out to AOA. The solo artists we have contacted are Eric Nam and Hwasa. We also thought it would be a good idea and a great promotional opportunity if we also work with up-and-coming artists. There’s actually a brilliant rookie composer who has been working with rookie artists and every song he has produced has been a complete hit. I believe it would be a great opportunity for us if we reach out to him in order to mutually benefit from each other.” Wendy explained, an excited buzz going around the room at the possibility of having these amazing musical appearances.

“Very impressive and excellent choice of artists. What is the name of this rookie producer?” Mr. Park asked, intrigued at the fact that a new producer is already making a splash in the music industry.

“He goes by the name of Loey. I can email everyone some of the songs he has produced so we can all get acquainted with his style. He is very unique in the sense that he only likes to work with rookie artists.” Wendy explained, fast fingers already sending out the mass email with Loey’s playlist.

“Perfect. Well, I am thoroughly impressed by everyone’s hard work and contribution to this project. That is all for today's meeting, thank you all for your time and have a great day.” Mr. Park concluded, bowing slightly before exiting the room. Everyone got up and left to their respective positions. 

“How cool is it going to be to have those musical appearances?” Mark asked excitedly, practically vibrating as he walked next to you in the direction of your office.

“If we actually get them, it will be amazing.” You smiled, actually excited for the musical guests as well.

You entered your office and opened up your email so you could check out Loey’s playlist that Wendy sent out. The email had a link to a youtube playlist and you played it on the background as you read the rest of your emails.

“Wow, is that Loey?” Mark asked as he entered your office, coffee and notes in hand.

“Well it's the songs he produced, he’s not the one singing them.” You replied, gracefully taking the coffee and notes from Mark.

“He is good!” Mark said, really enjoying the song being played. “Good lyrics and musical progression.” 

“Mark, I'm impressed you know so much about music.” You teased.

“It’s the second thing I love the most. The first being working with you, of course.” He replied cheekily, laughing at your eye roll.

“Okay, go work Mark, since you love it so much.” You said, dismissing him with a wave of your hand.

“Anything for you noona.” He winked and left your office, closing the door behind him.

You liked the songs you heard so far from the playlist and hoped that this producer would agree to work with you guys. You closed the browser for youtube and went back to your email, getting ready to do some work.

You were barely a few sentences into replying to your first email when your office phone rang. You saw that it was Wendy and answered immediately, confused as to why she would be emailing you.

“Hey Wendy, what’s up?”

“Hey! So I have some news.” She started, excitement in her voice.

“Oh yeah? What is it?” You asked, your curiosity peaked.

“So I actually just got a call back from Loey’s team and they said he is willing to work with us!” She exclaimed excitedly, hurting your ear with the volume of her excitement.

“That’s great!” You said, truly happy for her but still confused as to what this had to do with you. “Have you told Mr. Park yet?” 

“Yes, of course. I also needed to tell you though because Loey’s manager said that he is actually going to be in New York next weekend working on a project here. They said it would be a great opportunity to meet with reps of the company. And they said that Loey was very insistent on meeting the marketing director as well.” She explained, although you thought it was a bit odd.

“Why though? That seems a bit odd.” You said.

“I agree but they said he wants to be involved in how he and his artists will be promoted in the event.” She explained simply.

“Okay, well that makes sense I guess. Just email me when we are meeting him so I can make sure I clear my day.” You said, mentally going over your scheduled appointments for next week.

“Sounds great! Thanks!” Wendy said and you both hung up. 

“Well okay then.” You muttered to yourself. Ignoring the weird feeling in your gut and diving back into your work.

Previous                                                                     Next

[ddaenggtan]

monachopsis | knj x ksj

seokjin knows - has known, for years - that his life will be like this forever. there is no more sea, there is no more swimming, there is no more of anything he used to know. this is life - wake up, go to a shoot, try not to piss giho off, go home, sleep, wake up again. because he was caught. because giho owns him. because he can't. 

but then he meets namjoon. and seokjin starts to realize that maybe...just maybe. he can.

pairing | namjin

rating | sfw (some swearing & violence, so T for teen)

wc | 5.7k | cross-posted to ao3

warnings | mild violence, allusions to violence and physical abuse, a very brief depiction of said abuse, non-sexual choking, non-sexual slavery in a way, selkie!jin, aquarium worker!joon, marine biologist!joon, model!jin

a/n | hi this is for fwl’s Luv Library project, for the Fantasy & Fairytales section, and its also the first mxm i’ve ever posted so it might be a Little Rough but i am very attached to these characters and also i Love Selkies SO you get selkie jin!!! special super shoutout to @personawife​ for reading through it and also giving me the title!!!! im luv u!!! i hope u like the surprise ending that you didn’t get to read bc it was a surprise!!!!!!! ALSO added shoutout to user @jamaisjoons​ for the SUPERB banner she made!!!!!!!! im in love!!!!!!!!!! sol i do not deserve u!!!!!!!!!!

 He misses the sea, sometimes. 

He misses the refracting light and the weightlessness and the bubbles. He aches for the days he could swim, for miles and miles and miles, without getting tired. He misses the way his hair would move in the water, the way it felt to lay in the sun to dry off, the warmth that came with it all. 

Seokjin wraps his sweater more tightly around his torso and forces the thoughts away. Remembering gets him nowhere, he scolds himself. This is his life, now and forever, and he’s got to accept that if he wants to survive long enough to see the sea once more. He can do this. He’s strong enough for this.

The chill of the winter air is strong, too; it seeps into his bones and roots in them, lingering long after he’s made his way inside the studio. Giho is already there, berating some poor girl for her outfit choice. When he sees Seokjin he stops, waving at the intern. She runs out without even looking up. 

“You’re late,” Giho says with a sneer. They both glance at the clock on the wall. 11:55.

“You said noon,” Seokjin responds. His tone is neutral, a carefully constructed skill that has saved his life many times over the years. 

Giho tsks, likely because he can’t outright smack Seokjin with so many people around. Still, Seokjin can feel the old man’s eyes on him as he strips out of his clothes. 

The cold is prominent against his naked skin, and it doesn’t ebb as he slides the new clothes on. Giho is already yelling again, at the stylist this time, and it’s a familiar background noise. It’s still going on when he gets on the set, face in the perfect mask that everyone seems to love. 

The photographer barely needs to direct him; he and Taehyung have worked together for months now, and it only gets easier. Tae knows his best angles, his best lighting, how to highlight the cold expression he wears in shoots so the audience can interpret it their own way. 

Seokjin doesn’t know where Giho found this kid, but Tae is lucky the old bastard can’t keep him.

“To the left,” Tae mutters, and Seokjin does so without a word. 

The hours pass quickly. Between outfit changes and makeup retouches and actually shooting, the day flies. Before he even knows it, the clock is striking ten, and everyone is packing up. 

Jin changes quickly back into his sweater, the ever-colder air chilling him once more. Giho is off to the side with Taehyung and the Artistic Director, Hoseok, all three of them conversing quietly as they look at the photos from today. There’s no need for Seokjin to look; he knows how he did because Giho’s hands are kept to themselves. 

Checking again that they’re all suitably distracted, Seokjin turns to leave. He promptly stops, because he runs almost directly into someone coming through the door. Hands dart up to catch him, big and strong and warm as they wrap around his elbows for a second longer than they should, and there’s a muttered “Sorry,” from the guy in front of him. 

“Careful, hyung,” Taehyung’s voice calls. “Don’t damage the moneymaker.”

Seokjin’s eyes meet the man’s - a warm brown, one that reminds him of chocolate and muddy snow and love - before he physically pulls himself away. He doesn’t have to look at Giho to know what he’s thinking, what his paranoia is telling him about, and Seokjin needs to be able to eat tonight.

“It’s fine,” Seokjin says in the same unaffected voice he always uses around sets. “Barely touched me.”

The man frowns - probably because Seokjin is lying - but he lets it go, and Seokjin is thankful for it. Small mercies. 

“Jin,” Giho calls. He stops and turns. “Eleven, tomorrow.” He nods and leaves, ignoring the exhaustion in his bones and the familiar sorrow that fills his chest as he passes the all-too-familiar trunk by the door.

In the studio he leaves behind, Namjoon shares a look with his brother, who very minutely shakes his head. Namjoon knows that look, created that look to warn Tae off the ones that were more trouble that he could handle. Namjoon always wondered why his little brother never listened to that look. 

As he and Taehyung head to dinner, passing billboard after poster after billboard with Jin’s face on it, Namjoon thinks he might understand. 

The guy shows up more often. Seokjin knows his name, has said it a thousand times in his head over the weeks, but he won’t let himself acknowledge it. He can feel the guy’s stares on him, every time he arrives to get Tae at the same time Seokjin is running out the door after a shoot. He feels the interest, he’s intimately familiar with how it feels to have someone’s eyes running up and down his body, and he knows exactly what kind of danger that puts the both of them in. 

Giho sees it too, he’s sure. That’s the most dangerous part of it, the thing that could be the end of them both. He hasn’t said anything - yet - but Jin is positive as he switches poses for Taehyung that Giho can tell. 

He can tell that Namjoon - the guy , Jin corrects himself - is showing up earlier and earlier, more and more often, often hanging out beside the photo monitor and talking to Hoseok while he waits. That his eyes linger, long after the model is gone, and that they wonder, about everything. That he’s interested . 

Seokjin doesn’t like to remember what happened to the last man that was interested in him. 

It’s pouring rain. There’s a fog over the city that clouds vision and hushes conversation. There’s damp in the air, a wetness that seeps into each breath and covers the earth in its scent. It’s like a blanket over everything, making it all grey and dark and quiet, and Seokjin lives for it. 

It reminds him of the sea. How it would churn and darken and crash before a storm. The way the salt spray would hit the ice, the smell of the lightning in the air, the way he could just let it carry him wherever it wanted him to go. 

He stands outside the studio. Giho left hours before, for some important networking dinner. He’d tried to drag Seokjin along with him, until Taehyung offhandedly mentioned needing to reshoot a couple things. Giho had sneered and stormed out and that was that.  

Now he stands outside, in the rain, with his back against the building. The trunk is just on the other side of the wall; it lingers in the back of his mind, taunting. He can feel it. He knows it’s there. 

It’s a testament to how thorough Giho is in his punishments that Seokjin doesn’t attempt to claw it open and instead just tips his head back, eyes closed, basking in the water soaking his sweater and the pull he can feel in his stomach. 

He should be swimming.

“Do you need a ride?”

Seokjin doesn’t even open his eyes; he knows the voice. Has spent too long hearing it murmur on the sidelines of photoshoots, has watched its owner as his lips form words he isn’t supposed to listen to. 

He should ignore it. That’s what Giho would warn him to do.

“Jin?” 

He flutters his lids open, casting a glance at where Namjoon and Taehyung stand. Taehyung has his camera out, and Seokjin has no doubt he’s already snapped a few photos of their surroundings out of habit. 

“I’m fine,” he says softly. His voice is slightly hoarse from disuse, but Namjoon doesn’t even flinch. Taehyung is fiddling with his camera, oblivious to the way Namjoon’s eyes search Seokjin’s face for the lie he won’t find.

The rain is the only solace that Seokjin gets; he cherishes these nights. He won’t cut it short, especially not for a human.

“I’m fine,” He repeats. Against his better judgement, he continues, “I enjoy the rain. It’s refreshing.”

“Refreshing…” Namjoon echoes quietly. Neither of them speak, for a long moment; Namjoon continues to look for any sign that Seokjin is lying, and Seokjin continues to pretend the streaks on his cheeks are from the raindrops. 

“Walk Jin home.”

They both turn at that, to where Taehyung has his camera pressed to his eye as he frames some shots. When he’s finished, and there’s been no response, Taehyung looks at them both. 

“It’s bad weather,” Taehyung explains, “On a dark night. It’d be rude of us to let you walk home alone when anything could be lurking in the shadows.”

Namjoon looks at Seokjin, practically begging for him to agree. He should say no. He should walk himself the ten blocks to his apartment, and pretend neither of them ever said anything, and continue on with his life. Giho would go berserk if he ever found out, would never allow it, would do everything he could to prevent it. 

“Sure,” Seokjin says. He’s tired of doing what Giho wants. He’s tired of being without the sea, being kept landlocked with just the rain to remind him of home. “It’s this way.”

Namjoon and Taehyung share a look, but Seokjin pays it no mind as he heads down the street. 

The rain is coming down in sheets, and his clothes are soaked. They rest heavy against his skin, and it just makes Seokjin miss the ocean more. He misses how it felt to be weightless, constantly; to feel so powerful and strong and capable. He never feels that way on land. 

“How long have you been a model?” Namjoon eventually asks. For a moment - a split second - Seokjin considers ignoring him. It’s what Giho would demand he do. 

“Too long,” He says instead. 

“You don’t enjoy it?” Namjoon asks, surprised. Seokjin shakes his head, just slightly. 

“I do, it’s just…” He searches for the words. He can’t tell anyone about it, has no one to talk to, no one that would believe him. He’s never even felt the urge to share it. Until now. “It’s not what I would have picked for myself.”

Namjoon is silent beside him, and Seokjin can feel the question on the tip of his tongue. He’s going to ask why he does it, why he would bother being a model if it isn’t what he wants to do, and then Seokjin will be forced to come up with an excuse. 

“What would you have picked?” Namjoon asks instead. 

It brings all of the thoughts in his head to a standstill; all the worry and anxiety and stress stops, distracted by the thought that he had wanted, once upon a time. It takes a long time for Seokjin to find words, to find something that could translate into human language. 

“To swim,” He says simply. “To be in the ocean, or with my family. Something.”

“You aren’t with your family?”

“No.” He debates how much to say, but eventually, Seokjin decides, fuck it . He’s been quiet for long enough, and something about Namjoon is comforting, and soothing, and encouraging. “I lost them, when I was very young.”

“I’m sorry,” Namjoon says, and Seokjin thinks he actually means it, even if he doesn’t know the real truth of the matter. How Seokjin strayed too far from them, despite the warnings he’d been given his entire life. How he wanted to stretch human legs and snuck away and got caught by someone that recognized the coat drying on a rock and what he was. 

How Giho locked it away, for years, and forced Seokjin to be his ticket to wealth. 

“So am I.”

It becomes an irregularly regular thing, Namjoon walking him home. 

He can’t do it every night. They’re both too aware of the way Giho watches them, though for different reasons. Namjoon doesn’t know what Giho has done to others in his position, the lengths he’s gone to ensure Seokjin stays his. 

But the nights when he can, when Giho leaves for some dinner or event or something and Taehyung can come up with a believable excuse...those are the nights that Seokjin starts looking forward to. 

He learns so much about Namjoon - that he studied marine biology in school, got his doctorate in it as soon as he could; that he visits his parents’ grave every Wednesday morning, leaves flowers for them when he has the money; that he wants to travel the world and help endangered species everywhere, wants to take Taehyung with him as a nature photographer; that he’s the best man Seokjin has ever known with the biggest heart and the most patience that he’s ever seen. 

Namjoon doesn’t question why Seokjin only ever gives vague answers, or skirts around mentions of where he comes from, or why he doesn’t have a phone. He doesn’t ask Seokjin to let him up into the apartment, or answer his questions, or explain why he stays at arm’s length despite leaning closer because Namjoon is warm. 

He doesn’t question any of it, and it makes Seokjin’s heart flutter dangerously in his chest, and it means that when Namjoon asks if he has a free day anytime soon, Seokjin only hesitates for a second before he responds. 

“Giho has a business trip coming up,” he tells Namjoon. “As long as we have three full shoots, he won’t suspect anything.”

“Will you come with me?” Namjoon asks. “I just want to distract you for the day. I’ve seen your life, what you do, so much. I’d like to show you mine, if you’ll let me.” 

He should say no. He shouldn’t go with him, he should say no, and stop letting Namjoon walk him home, and let Giho move them across the country again.

“Sure.”

The day comes. Seokjin dresses nicer, though he’ll never admit it. A nice button-down, black slacks, hair styled, sunglasses to combat the glare in the sky. Giho is gone for three days - three marvelous, liberated days - and Seokjin can use that time to come up with a believable excuse if he’s recognized.

Namjoon looks like he always does - warmth and welcome and strength. It settles in Seokjin’s chest the second he sees Namjoon, and he wonders if this is what people meant when they say they found home in someone.

He doesn’t ask Namjoon where they’re going; just follows him onto the subway, and off, and on, and off again, listening to him talk about this cafe and that bookstore and the busker on the corner. He gets the full experience of Namjoon’s commute, and he couldn’t be more in love with him. 

With it. He’s in love with it , the commute, seeing what other people do each day. That’s all, because that’s all he can let himself have. 

When they arrive, Seokjin stares. He doesn’t know why he didn’t know, why he didn’t put the pieces together from all the times Namjoon has mentioned his work and his degree, but he didn’t...he didn’t think , didn’t even consider, and now he stands on the sidewalk, staring at the large building, and Namjoon is waiting for him. 

“Seokjin?” He asks softly. “We can turn around right now.” 

He looks at Namjoon - really looks at him. Takes in the nice turquoise shirt and the cuffed slacks and the dress shoes, the glasses that are so thick Seokjin wonders how he sees without them at all, the way there’s already disappointment clouding the acceptance in his eyes. 

“No,” He says. “No, it’s fine. Let’s go.”

He shouldn’t be here, his mind tells him throughout each exhibit. Not just because of Giho this time, but for himself. 

Namjoon is so excited about each exhibit, telling him about each creature as they go through. He mentions how each one has its own name, though they get confused sometimes for the larger populations. How so many have been released into the wild successfully, how so many have been rebuilt and are on the brink of non-endangered status. 

He talks about the sharks, and how Louise and Wheein haven’t been getting along, but that Yari and Chainsaw are expecting a pup soon; he talks about the penguins and how Potato keeps stealing extra fish but he does it to give to Frenchie, so they let him get away with it; he talks about the jellyfish, and the rays, and the octopuses, and everyone and everything, and it’s nearly too much for Seokjin, but he manages. 

He gets through nearly the entire aquarium, exhausted but content with the happy grin on Namjoon’s face, but he stops, because Namjoon has mentioned Maple throughout the entire trip, has talked about her before. Seokjin knows Maple’s history better than his own, almost, but he never realized…

Now he does. He watches as Maple dives back down off the landing, flipping and turning in the water. They stand in a viewing area, a room long and tall and tinted blue with the water at the bottom of the tank. It gives way to land halfway up, is more than generous for the lone animal that dances through the water. 

“Isn’t she beautiful?” Namjoon asks. “She’s the one we’re working hardest with. Hawaiian monk seals are critically endangered, so when she was brought in as a pup, she took first priority. We’re doing everything we can to get her back up to breeding standards. She keeps getting sick, though, and no pregnancy has been viable so far.”

Seokjin doesn’t answer. He doesn’t even blink. He doesn’t know this seal, not really; she’s just a seal, she’s not like him, she’s not even the same species, but a human wouldn’t know that. Especially not a human like Namjoon, completely out of the loop on all of it. 

“She wants to be free.”

He can see it when Namjoon turns to look at him, confused. Watches the reflection in the glass as closely as he watches Maple’s mourning dance. 

“Her environment is larger than most,” Namjoon says. “She’s got plenty of room to swim and we’ve got activity sets throughout so she’s mentally stimulated as well. She eats, probably more than she should, and-”

“A cage is still a cage, no matter how pretty it is.” Seokjin can see it, can hear Maple’s call, can feel it in his very soul as the urge to respond grows. She spots them standing there and swims closer, and Seokjin places a hand on the glass wall. “She wants to be back in the ocean.”

“It’s dangerous for her there,” Namjoon says quietly. He says it like he knows, like he’s always known, what she needs, but doesn’t want to admit it. “There isn’t enough food, humanity keeps taking their territory...she’s sick. She wouldn’t survive out there.”

Better to die free than spend eternity in a cage, Seokjin thinks bitterly. He takes a breath and reminds himself that Namjoon cares. He’s helping, in the only way that he knows how. 

Maple spins when she spots Namjoon, clearly excited, but when her eyes land on Seokjin, she stills. 

“Ah, she’s not always friendly to strangers, so…” Namjoon trails off. His reflection shows his jaw slack, open in a surprised o , because he’s wrong, this time. 

Maple lets out a whistle - long, and low, and haunting in the stillness of the building. Her nose is nearly against the glass, she’s so close, and she looks straight into him. She sees him, recognizes him for what he is, and uses the call. 

Seokjin can feel the snap as his soul breaks; what little was left of him shatters, into pieces. He can’t return her call, he can’t tell her that he sees, that he knows what she’s feeling and will do what he can to help her, because he can’t . He can’t help her, he has no way to save her from her cage because he’s stuck in his own. 

She must see it, somehow, because her song trails off, and Seokjin hates himself. He hates himself for being here, for allowing himself to get close to Namjoon when he can’t, for not being able to even hear her song the way it deserves to be heard. 

“Hey,” Namjoon calls, soft and quiet. His thumb brushes hesitantly along Seokjin’s cheek, carrying a tear with it. “I’m sorry, I didn’t…”

“I’m fine,” Seokjin tells him. “I’ve got to be up early tomorrow, to do the shoots, so I’m gonna head home.” 

“Do you want me to go with you?”

He turns on his heel and walks out, ignoring Namjoon’s question entirely. He can’t lie right now, he does want Namjoon with him, but he can’t. It’s too dangerous, and seeing Maple just reminded him of it. 

He can’t let Namjoon get hurt just because he makes Seokjin feel marginally better. 

In his wake, Namjoon sighs. He turns to Maple, wishing he was up top in his wetsuit so he could run his fingers through her fur the way she likes. Her eyes are big and sad, more so than usual, and Namjoon thinks maybe he understands her for the first time. 

“I’ll try,” He tells her. “I’ll try.”

Weeks pass. Months fly by. Shoot after shoot after shoot gets published, and Giho rakes in the cash from them. Seokjin stays in his small apartment, watching the light reflect rainbows through the window pane. He stopped letting Namjoon walk him home when Giho got back, and nearly ripped part of Seokjin’s hair out with fury that he’d gone out. 

The only reason it wasn’t worse is because Seokjin managed to convince him that it was promo for the upcoming swimwear collection, and good press about the humanitarian efforts of the label. 

It doesn’t matter anyway, because Namjoon stopped showing up after a few days. Seokjin refuses to ask Taehyung why, because he shouldn’t care. He can’t care. Not with Giho hovering over his shoulder at every turn. 

One day, for some reason, things change. Giho gets less certain, more fidgety. Starts looking over his own shoulder. Stops threatening Seokjin with every glance. 

Stops glancing altogether. 

It just makes Seokjin worry more; if the one in charge is afraid of something, everyone else should be as well. That was the first lesson his mother taught him. 

Seokjin gathers his things. Packs them all back into his suitcase, keeps a single change of clothes out and starts washing them every day. Giho looks ready to run, and Seokjin knows by now that he needs to be ready when it happens if he wants to keep any of his things. 

Then Giho disappears. 

Giho disappears for a while . 

He doesn’t take Seokjin with him. He just disappears one night, when everything is quiet and still. The calendar is still booked with shoots, so Seokjin just keeps working. One night, he and Taehyung go out for Korean BBQ. The entire week after that, Seokjin expects Giho to pop up and berate him for doing anything that isn’t working, but it never comes. 

A few weeks later, they go on a day trip to a mountain and walk the trails together while Taehyung takes pictures. Neither of them mention Giho or Namjoon or anything except the way the leaves fall. 

Life goes on. For months, Seokjin begins tiptoeing across the line. He goes out more often. The time between shoots gets longer and longer, and Seokjin begins to enjoy things. He goes to see movies, and shopping, and eating, and travelling. He starts doing the things he wants to do. 

He sees Namjoon again. 

They get dinner together, whenever they’re both free. It starts with Taehyung inviting him for drinks, and turns into them meeting each other at the cafe on the corner that makes the good boba. They talk for what could be hours, or what could be minutes. Seokjin never knows, because everything else seems to stop when he’s with Namjoon. 

He says as much as he can, as much as he dares, but it never seems like it’s enough. Namjoon takes what Seokjin gives him, more than happy to be included again, but they both know that there’s a time limit on it. Still, Seokjin fools himself into thinking that it’s become an if , instead of being a when . 

He fools himself into thinking that this can be his life. 

It takes almost four months. It’s been nearly a year since Seokjin first met Namjoon - he refuses to acknowledge that he remembers the day. Giho returns in a whirlwind. 

He interrupts the shoot, throws the clothes around, breaks some mannequins, it’s all out war on the set, and they all watch silently. The only thing that keeps him from breaking Taehyung’s camera is the look on the younger’s face when Giho goes for it. 

But of course, nothing lasts forever. He spots Seokjin, sitting as still as a statue in the makeup chair, and that’s the beginning of the end. He recognizes the feral rage in God's eyes, has seen it barely contained too many times before, and he’s clearly not holding back this time. 

He has Seokjin on the ground, under his shoe, with a cane against his throat when the door opens. The others have tried to help, but Giho is surprisingly adept with a cane when he wants to be, and as such, no one has gotten close. But Seokjin can guess what time it is, he knows in his bones who just walked in, and he refuses to let this happen.

“You,” Giho hisses. The pressure on Seokjin’s throat disappears as Giho stands; the model coughs, several times, choking down air even as his hand darts out to wrap around his owner’s ankle. 

The elder crumples to the ground, kicking at Seokjin’s steel grip, but it’s useless, because Seokjin is tired. 

He is tired of being afraid of a bitter old man. He is tired of being without the sea. He is tired of not allowing himself to be happy. 

He’s on top of Giho before he even realizes he’s moved, prying the cane from his hands and holding it steady over Giho’s windpipe. He doesn’t press down, not yet; just holds it there, like the threat it is.

“You will not hurt him,” Seokjin commands. “And you will run, as far as you can get. You will run to the ends of the earth, and then, God willing, you will run further. You will leave your wealth and your fame and everything I have made for you, and if you dare to show your face among humanity again…”

“What?” Giho spits, a smirk growing on his face. “What is a defenseless little pup like you going to do?”

Seokjin leans down, letting the cane choke the man below him as he drops his voice. “I will find my brethren, and I will tell them what you have done. They will spread your story far and wide, across every ocean, over every continent, and when they find you, they will remind you why we are considered predators.”

He sits back, letting the cane go and allowing air back into his lungs. He stands on his own two feet, the legs that have carried him for so long, and he looks around. 

“This shoot is over,” Seokjin says. “Everyone get out.” 

The people scramble, even Taehyung gathers his things to leave, and the room is empty in seconds. Only he and Giho remain. 

The elder lies on the floor, still catching his breath, as Seokjin tosses the cane across the room. He looks around, spots an old iron trash can from a shoot last month, and starts toward it. 

“It won’t do you any good,” Giho says. Seokjin ignores him and hefts the can up, carrying it across the room. “You won’t get anywhere. You can’t just disappear, not when the world knows your face.”

“Maybe so,” Seokjin says as he positions himself. “But at least I’ll have the choice.”

He brings the iron can down with all his strength. There’s a colossal crash as it connects with the old padlock, and it only gets louder with the next one. It takes seven hits for the lock to break, and the sound of it clattering to the floor isn’t one he’s likely to forget.

When he opens the trunk, however, it’s empty. 

“I told you,” Giho hisses triumphantly. “It won’t do any good.” 

Seokjin resists the urge to curse under his breath and forces himself not to sob as he looks back at Giho. 

“Then it won’t do you any good either.”

The sand is warm beneath his feet. The setting sun paints the sky a myriad of colors, orange turning into red bleeding into purple shifting into blue curling into black, all of it reflected in the cool water below. The tang of salt wafts in with every breath he takes, and just confirms that this is right. 

“Thanks for meeting me,” Namjoon says from behind him. Seokjin didn’t hear him approach, but he didn’t need to. He knows Namjoon won’t hurt him. 

“Thanks for calling,” Seokjin responds. He feels the tide tickle his toes, and he knows that this is best. “I actually wanted to tell you something.”

“I think I should go first,” Namjoon’s voice is firm, but hesitant. Like he doesn’t want to say what he’s saying. Seokjin turns, frowning slightly when he sees the other. Namjoon looks troubled, looks like he would rather be anywhere else, and that doesn’t bode well for Seokjin. 

Still, he gestures for Namjoon to continue.

“Tae pointed it out,” Namjoon eventually says. “He mentioned how you looked at it, and thought maybe...maybe it had passports or something inside, something you could use to get away. So when he left, and we thought he might not come back...I opened it.”

A weight settles in Seokjin’s throat. 

“Opened what?”

“The trunk,” Namjoon says. “I broke in and I picked the lock and...I didn’t know it was...I didn’t think he had it….” He sighs and pulls his hands from behind his back, and there it is. 

Seokjin’s coat. 

It’s silky and smooth and soft and perfect and exactly as he remembers it. It’s bigger now, grown with him, and the sight of it in the light is enough to bring tears to his eyes. 

“He had some kind of alert on the trunk,” Namjoon continues, “So when I opened it he knew. That’s why he came back. I didn’t know he would come back.”

“Namjoon…” Seokjin looks at him, eyes wide and tear-filled, and for the first time since they met, Seokjin is scared. His life is here, right in front of him, but he doesn’t know if he can have it. 

Because now Namjoon knows. He knows what Seokjin is, he’s fully aware that Seokjin can’t leave without the coat in Namjoon’s hands. He could keep him forever, just as Giho intended to do. 

“I didn’t know,” Namjoon says again. “Or I wouldn’t have taken you to the aquarium. I wouldn’t have done that to you, I wouldn’t have hurt you like that, and I am... so sorry, Seokjin. I’m so sorry that I did that to you, I-”

“Namjoon, you didn’t know-”

“But now I do.” Namjoon sniffles slightly, and his hands shake, but he extends them, holding the coat out to Seokjin. “And I’m sorry.”

Seokjin’s fingers curl in the fur, almost reverently, as he takes it. It’s still warm, and it feels like water in his hands, and it’s everything he’s missed in his life. 

“Namjoon, I…” He trails off, because there’s nothing he could say. No words fit this gift, this release; there’s nothing he could say that would properly convey the emotions building in Seokjin’s chest. 

“I know,” Namjoon says. “You’re not in a cage anymore. You’re free to go and do what you want to do.”

Seokjin strips his sweater off and wraps his sealskin around his shoulders. It’s the perfect size for him, exactly what he needs, and when he crashes waist-deep into the surf, it keeps him warm. 

He turns, though. Namjoon stands on the shore, just out of reach of the tide, and watches him. There’s a smile on his face, small and sad, and Seokjin wants nothing more than to wipe it from his lips, but he can’t. 

Because he’s free. 

He turns, wrapping the skin tighter around his shoulder. When he gets under the water, he can feel it in his hair and he can feel the water against his tail and he’s almost home. 

But something is missing. 

There’s warmth and weightlessness and the setting sun painting the water a rainbow , but the buzz in Seokjin’s chest isn’t full. There’s something not right, something not quite perfect about this moment that he’s been dreaming of for years, and he can’t figure out what. 

Namjoon stares at the horizon, wondering how far Seokjin has already gone. He sends up a small wish, a hope, that Seokjin can live his life, free and happy and himself. That he can find his family, see his pod again. 

His heartbeat turns painful, something constricting his chest and making it difficult to breathe, so he turns away. The crash of the waves covers the sound of his shaky breath, because of course, of course , he would find love in a man that couldn’t stay. 

Fingers tangle in his own and Namjoon turns, shocked, to see a wet Seokjin, hair damp with his sealskin around his waist. 

“W-What-”

“I can’t,” Seokjin says softly. “I can’t go back, I can’t find them, I don’t know how to do that without…”

He trails off and Namjoon stares because this is it, he thinks. This is everything he’s been waiting for his entire life, here, right in front of him. He just has to let himself have it. 

Seokjin’s hand pulls away from his and Namjoon mourns the loss for the brief moment it takes for the selkie to pull his sealskin off and place it carefully in Namjoon’s arms. 

“Namjoon,” He says, voice hushed and serious, “I want you to...because I…” 

He’s never Seokjin this unsure, this at a loss, and the way he keeps starting sentences that have no end is undeniably endearing. But he can feel Seokjin’s growing frustration at his inability to articulate his thoughts, so he just smiles. 

“I know,” Namjoon says. He takes the coat and places it back in Seokjin’s hands, covering them with his own. The heat from their skin combines and warms Namjoon straight to the core. “And I love you too.”

[shytiff]

Jan 2021 Wins

ive “journaled” for 6 months now. it started as small ___ wins because when you feel rly empty, even doing the bare minimum feels like a win. written down some of the wins. i think until now i’d like to keep the “win” part. a win against my shadow sometimes. a win in life. some things to be grateful for. a win for remembering it later in the future. i know some days im just basically doing nothing.  there are a lot of wars not won by me. but im still tryna ✨manifest✨

1 - woke up. watched bts’ 2021 seasons greetings. read trap city. afternoon nap. pupuy’s mbah passed away. i got DOMS in my body even though i did the barest of exercise yesterday (frail, i know). shower, matcha latte.

2 - the x banner atikah and i sent for racil post thesis defense has arrived lmaoo. mom made delicious (and sweet) fried banana. did some studying (more than usual, bcs the bar is on the floor)

3 - ate muesli, 3 risols. Kopsus coklat at flavola. Stayed there from 12-ish to 17:30 lmaooo. weekly bahas soal w/ fi. Rapat nemo

4 - first day of collab module. Barely cicil ukmppd. My mood is normal-ish but i hardly have the will to study. Dinner is fried fish with mentai sauce, potato wedges, and saladdd by mom

5 - collab module, qa presentation for rsui reps. finished reviewing tryout 2 solid. did padi pretest (got 66,5). ate chicken porridge, a bit of muesli and vsoy, tan ek tjoan bread, matcha latte, fish and chicken and potato wedges and salad, fried banana. i ate well today lol.

6 - slept during collab webinar, went to clara’s place to study osce and attended padi together. i ate well at clara’s placeee lol. ate nastar, kusuka, white kwetiaw with soup (?), and lele goreng. went back home @ 9 pm. i feel refreshed. even though we’ve half studied half mukbang all day. human interaction rly does heal me. i need human interaction more than i think. at night i dreamed about going to bali, to waterparks, seeing sea creatures, watching a movie displayed on a concert-like stage and screen at the front row. 

7 - woke up at 07:55, finished my part for collab group work. felt a bit tired today. the rest of fam went to DM, and when they were on the way back i HURRIED my way out, not even taking a shower lmaoo. got pistachio matcha latte at starbucks dm. now im more skilled in searching the best spot in a cafe to distance myself from people lmao. the matcha latte is served with some sort of pistachio cream and sprinkled with nuts on top. its like when sbux had taro matcha latte and it had purple cream on top. the pistachio taste is quite strong. reviewed TO 1 padi, sent proposals for nemo sponsorship.

8 - did syndrome try out and padi 2 web try out. studied for osce and padi @ clara’s place. wanted to order pizza since clara bought me food before, but she insisted in ordering lmaoo. so dinner is pizza hut

9 - woke up at 11.00 lmao. havent had breakfast. lunch is muesli with the brand new delishhh chocolate granola and cimory banana milk. did one shot try out, got 71. had a google meet with Prof Agus (that ethics book ghostwriting job from a year ago is not finished until now huaaa) that went from 20.00ish and finished at 22.30,,,,, reviewed syndrome try out along the way. havent made my collab self reflection hhhh. i also need to study for osce. also havent edited article for bukang solid. and there goes my saturday nooo

10 - i swear i keep waking up late lmao. Flavola w atikah, racheel later came with wawa. Kopsus coklat and ukmppd class w dr yudo. After class i just talked at flavola (and ended not studying osce at all for sunday). Went to racheel's to pray and talk some more. Hurriedly went back for booty call with fi, watched konser dies natalis first. Tryout and sum study with fi and clar that went from 20:30 to 00:10. Powered by left over kopsus and 2 snackit pia. Rip my sleeping schedule

11 - woke up at 10:30 ish, the lack of meal and horrible sleep pattern (for my standard) produced stuffy nose during the day and a bit of headache that went away for a bit after i ate. Late bfast is muesli, drank protein, ate tan ek tjoan, plus 2 brownies in the evening. Tht coaching w dr niken. Did self reflection for collab. Had dinner without rice, as usual. Ukmppd class w dr ayu. Finished reflection at 21:30 lmao (deadline is 23:55). Tryna sleep and my nose is still itchy and i sneeze a more often. i hope it goes away 2mrw

12 - DV coaching, scele tryout, took a nap before padi cause my head kind of hurts. Les padi while drinking matcha with vsoy less sugar and no added sugar. I can withstand the horrible sugarless cy matcha taste bcs theres a taste of soy. Didnt do anything else. Havent studied osce on my own until now. Astagfirullah

13 - my head still kind of aches. Its goes away when im eating. im eating so well during the weekdays that i gained 2kgs lmao. lazed around the first half of the day. padi. finally tried saint matcha and damnn its an amazing upgrade from Cy matcha. the green color is super different yall. Cy’s green looks sick and tired compared to saint matcha. the taste? immaculate (although coco deli is more fragrant). caffeine? hits. awake and feel normal? yes. messaged an ao3 author and got replied and turns out she’s making a sequel for my fav fic of hers. yay

14 - osce practice w ara ren ness. bedah and anak osce coaching. had 3 of mom’s cinnamon rolls and matcha latte for the afternoon. cicil osce DV. edited some pld articles. did nothing else basically

15 - wasted my day, didnt have the courage to study osce (i feel like i procrastinate on it bcs it feels overwhelming to me), TO FKUI 2, hurriedly reviewed to 1 before, les padi. i feel like this is the least focused im being in a les. maybe its the too few matcha powder.

16 - woke up at 9 am. breakfast is muesli. reviewed to 2 fkui w apa salahku (finished at 12 pm, there goes half of my saturday). tried fried chicken master. its good and tender but i still prefer moon chicken. 

17 - breakfast is muesli, banana and 2 martabak tahu. snack is keripik pisang aduuu wenak (and picking bits of meat cooked by mom). went to devi’s place w/ racheel silvi. brought RJ to be wrapped. we watched okay madam and its super fun, hilarious and full of twists anddd a bit of cutesy romance. just the right balance to enjoy and let the stress out. late lunch is moon chicken yay!! went home after maghrib, did to padi 6 w/ fi and matcha latte. talked about a senior’s wedding and eating healthier til 22:30

18 - To fkui 3, wasted my afternoon playing my phone, finally mustered some will to study after ashar. My progress is rly slow today. Watched hilarious jessi interview with eric, heechul. Im telling u, i thought tiktok is the funniest internet content but i was wronggg. Seeing heechul flustered is hilarious. Tried to study again at night but only learned 1 disease hiks

19 - had no idea what i did before dzuhur lmao. went to racheel’s to surprise atikah. actually napped at her place lmaoo why do i feel so sleepy. gifted rj to atikah. we ate fried chicken master and pempek on a small green table and talked. its like korean movie lmao. we talked while im simultaneously listening to padi lol.

20 - woke up at 8, chicken porridge + muesli and low sugar vsoy for breakfast. arrived at clara’s @10am. to fkui 4. reviewed it. reviewed general physical exam. finished up to padi 7. tried bombo donut. studied osce. i felt sooo dumb in osce (and clara is already super smart). superrr motivated to learn after going back home (arrived at 7) but i ended up opening youtube and drinking protein lmaooo and its suddenly 9 pm

21 - matcha latte at starbucks dm. Studied osce. Obgyn coaching w the super kind dr ilham. Les padi. Read angel buddy and played with my phone til 12 pm

22 - to fkui. padi as usual. had low motivation, so i did the tryout that day close to the actual course.

23 - left home at 06:30 to study together in capitol. had breakfast in mcd first. thank god i ate rice + chicken and breakfast wrap cuzzzz. studied osce together w ara, ical, kelvyn, dio and kak ilonka til about 2 pm. WALKED to bk bcs my parents are there. apparently simply driving to capitol is too much for them. immediately ate muesli at 4 pm cause i didnt eat anything in capitol. did nothing else after that. did not pray maghrib together lmao somehow mom had mercy on me and let me sleep som more. mom bought sate padang but i didnt eat it. i cried in bed because as yoongi said, “this is the real you and this is the real me”. did not shower/wash my face at night bcs i felt like shit lmao rip my face (its a week before bukang photoshoot)

24 - i feel tired, lazy, and just wanted some sleep. like all that’s in me is drained. ate muesli with strawberry milk. tried fitmee beef. its better than i thought. because the noodle is chewy you spend more time to chew. also ate fried chicken and daun singkong. usually i cant wait to go to flavola but even at 12 pm i just feel like laying down. finally mustered the will to shower and go out. its raining a bit on the way. colddd. 

25 - to fkui 6, osce briefing, covid lecture (that was actually for ppds), padi

26 - spaghetti for brekkie, coaching neuro and ophthalmology, cicil osce

27 - cicil osce, the second to the last padi omg. the fastest padi ever

28 - obgyn osce practice at kak ilonka’s place (that nice kosan at forkabi) with ara, ren ness, kelvyn, dio with mannequins from og dept, tried meokja salemba that serves bulgogi rice. quite good. after arriving at home, studied neuro together with menno til about 20:45 an and i just dont have the energy lmaooo so i gave up and slept

29 - today is bukang photoshoot at bintaro. put base make up on the way. even put glue on my eyebrow. got eyebrow, eyeshadow and blush done by renata. took lots of photos. nebeng om coro afterwards to bxc to meet mom. we ate at genki sushi (renata ara kris mendel oca regan geordie eka). i missss road trips hua. did tryout fkui on the way back home. after shower and prayer proceeded to review TO with apa salahku. Last padi (havent done the questions beforehand so i sprinted it out while on the actual course). Muhasabah osce with kak widia afterwards lmao. Studied osce with clara

30 - studied osce with ara ren ness @ merra. I ate eatlah, moms muffin, kemplang, tango. I ate so welll. Its a productive sesh, neuro and infectious disease. At home i studied osce w clara til abt 22:15 ish. I feel like i miss my me time lmao its been 3 days. I can still go on w clara but i dont wanna get myself sick

31 - simul osce in the morning. Osce study with clara almira. Cicil osce alone. Played my phone at 10 pm even though i still have mental clarity post matcha latte -___-

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

no, i didn’t request it but i do have a request, kinda angsty, don’t do it if you don’t want to, chris and reader dating and someone trying to break them up by making it look like he cheated but he of course wouldn’t and happy ending?💕

A/N- I hope this works! It is a quick one, but angsty imo. Also, beware of toxic “friends” 

These cant be real....

Your scrolling through a message of a close friend sent you. You trusted her, been friends with her for years, so why would she lie to you. Your heart raced, and head pounded as picture through picture just told a story of lies and deceit. Cheating.

He wouldnt, He loves me. He tells me everyday.

And yet... you dont even try to respond to your friend, you toss the phone down and turn away from the offending piece of technology. Tears that brimmed behind your eyes bursting forward in the pain and confusion.

He was to good to be true, you knew you didnt deserve to be happy. Not really.

You sunk onto the bed, your phone buzzing nearby with your friends ringtone, but you just couldnt. Couldnt bring yourself together to answer, instead you hid your face in the pillow and let yourself get lost in your misery, afterwards you would deal with this.

Chris returns home from a quick meeting with his agent, it was actually his time to be home from a break between projects, and he wasnt going to lie, it was needed. He missed you terribly, and you had arranged it to have a few weeks of vacation off with him. Opening the door, he called out “Y/N? baby Im back.” A frown crosses his face when he doesnt hear you respond. “Y/N?” Wandering into the kitchen, nope. Living room. Nope. He heads towards the staircase, when he hears you crying. Frowning, he took the stairs two at a time, and entered your bedroom, to find you curled up on the bed.

“Babygirl what is wrong?” Immediately he went to sit down next to you and you hurriedly wiped tears and sat up to go to a stand, pacing away from him. “Your back early...” You ignore his question, unsure of what to say You still dont want to believe it, it just hurts to much. But Chris isnt just going to let this go, he immediately follows you and takes a hold of your arm to stop you.

“Y/N, look at me” His voice is stern and commanding. You hesitate but pull towards him, looking down. His fingers go to your chin and lift them up to face him.

“I need you to tell me what is wrong.” his eyes searching your face for clues, its hard not to trust those blue eyes of his, they have captured you many times, and what if those were all lies so you didnt know? You mind raced at the different possibilities of how to answer, and he clears his throat to get you out of your head. “Please.”

Giving a shuddering breath out, you try to lower your gaze, but his fingers stay under your chin to keep you focusing on him, not breaking eye contact with you. “I- I got a message. From Steph. Some pictures... “ Your voice breaks a bit and you point to your phone, in which Chris looks at it and picks it up, holding it out to you.

“Do you want to show me what she sent, or do you want to tell me?” Inwards Chris is cussing out Steph, he never trusted the woman. She was always making off hand comments about you, in that ‘Oh im a friend and looking out for you’ way. It had been a fight between you two a few times when Chris brought it up, but you never saw it that way. “Chris, shes my friend, she wouldnt purposely be cruel like that.” Oh baby, you always see the best in people.

This would be it though, the final straw for Chris. If Steph was going to go this far to hurt you, he would do whatever he could to show you how toxic she was, how you didnt deserve this manipulation. You flick your phone to the messages, and turn it to show him. He dropped his gaze from your sorrowed face, and flicked through the pictures. Yes, it did look compromising, cause the bitch must have found them off a fan page. During the photo shoot, some bystanders snuck past security and watched for a few minutes till they were escorted from the premises with promises of being arrested if they returned.  “Son of a bitch... baby, this is from the photo shoot last week for Gucci Guilty.”

You rubbed at your eye a moment and he just as quickly pulled up some pictures from his email, and showed them to you. Sure enough these were clearer, showing his costar for the ad and him in the backseat of a car. It appeared they were in the middle of a lust filled moment. It all clicked and you covered your face as it burned red in your embarrassment.

“Oh god Chris, fuck Im so stupid, I cant believe... “ You droned on in your shame, and he wrapped his arms around you, drawing you in. Kissing your shoulder, he rocked you two lightly.

“Hey, hey its okay baby... we never talked about the photoshoot.” His hands were calming, and you were cussing yourself out for even letting yourself believe what Steph was saying. “I would never ever do something like that to you, I swear.” He tipped your face up to look at him, kissing your tears away slowly. “But we do need to really talk about Steph, this isnt the first time shes tried to mess up what we have, and Im not okay with that. With the way she treats you.”

“She misund-”

“No Y/N. I cant good conscience let you keep defending her.” He settled on the bed and drew you into his lap, still rubbing your back with one hand and along your arm with another. Your hands move to rest against his chest, giving a sigh.

“Chris shes my friend.”

“Yes, she is... and I wouldnt ever ask you to stop being friends with anyone, but this is far more then how I feel about her. Babygirl, Ive seen people do this before. She twists things around, makes it seem like shes a victim all the time so you feel sorry for her. Tells you things for self improvement, that are just not even close to the fucken truth.”

You remain silent, he wasnt wrong, she was always over stepping you whenever you needed a listening voice. Unless of course you and Chris were having troubles of some kind. She loved to listen then. His hand traced your face lightly and you lifted your gaze to him. “You really wish I would end it.”

Chris gave a nod. “I do, but it has to be because you want to remove the negativity baby, not because I want you to. I just dont want to see you hurting like this again, especially since it wasnt even anything. I would NEVER ever hurt you, I love you to much and it kills me to think that it scared you that much.”

“I shouldnt have thought that...” Shamed you look away, and he pulled you in close, kissing your temple.

“Stop babygirl, I dont blame you for it. I know this kind of thing happened to you before, and its not always easy to forget the past. I know we will get past this, and next time we will talk about it like we are now.”

You smile and lean up, cupping his face in your hands, and kissing him deeply, whispering after the kiss. “Thank you Chris... and your right. Its time to let go of the past, nothing but good things for us Handsome.”

You end up cutting ties with Steph, after giving it further thought. She really was a toxic friend, and you are worth more then that which Chris is starting to show you.