#((I went missing again so i need a recap of what happened so far while i was gone

[w-corp-clerk-anon]

The trip to the Outskirts

...or wathever my co-workers wants me to title this you may had noticed my abcense huh? i have quite the explaination... besides the fact that... once again... i remind you all to read the FaQ page in the official W-Corp site involving recent incidents with bloodfiends, wich is a story for another branch's worker here goes nothing: ((CW: doppelgangers, people being threated as expendables, mentions of a certain word that had another significance depending on the context, thievery, modification of company property, in-between possible others; simply adding this just in case

Afther recovering from the punch that Odysseus (fake name, due to laws involving inter-dimensional doppelgangers), me alongside the trio that likes to pester me...

-Awww... we all know you love us- -Aisha, wait your turn-

Where i was, oh yeah, me and the gang we were called alongside others for a retrieval of a displaced freight car that somehow reappeared in there. -So... they basically sending us, the low ranked employees, to go and search a freight car, TO THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!?- -Yes...- -And they refuse to tell us... WHAT'S INSIDE FOR THEM TO SEND US TO A LITERAL SUICIDE MISSION!!??- -Mhmmm....- -Dude, why aren't you bothered?- -Because im pretty sure is nothing compared to the amount of people getting jumped on for saying the word Σ, and ended becoming and actual Σ case- The sight of Larry panicking and Gary's dumbfounded expression were quite the sight, but we are not focusing on that... we are focusing on the fact the higher ups decided it would be a good idea to send us to the middle of nowhere to find said car.

-At least they had the decency to let us bring our weapons and gave us a list of what to pack inside the company trucks- -Yeah... im surprised on how those piece of junk with weels managed to work in the travel there and back- -you mean the fact you suggested, and actually did it, modifying the truck like it was that one madmax movie? when it turned out we only could had stole some stupid fish from a neirghbouring village?!- -Geez, Lars, what a buzzkill- -Well... EXCUUUSEEE MEEEE PRINCESS!-

Last time i disabled the Audio-to-Text function the computer was as good as a brick... -want me to bring popcorn?- -please do-

The travel was, as you might had guessed, it took a month to reach the destination and a month to come back, i will resume it because i don't know the word limit of this website, but feel free to ask: -Gary brought a lighter fuel can that ended up used as dynamite to clear some rocks, surprisingly it worked. -We might or may not had hit some animals during the travel, but i swear that while traveling we hit at least something from what the repairmen told us -We managed to end up in the middle of 2 towns under some-kind of war (turns out it was some tradition of sending the guy with the weirdest garments to the other village to get some giant taxidermed fish trophy that their founders fished together and couldn't decided who got to keep it, we didn't bother for futher details, all we know is that the fish always ended up mounted over a arcade machine where you have to keep a golf ball inside some socket while the machine shaked it) -Aisha played with that machine later that day... -Gary was kidnapped by a giant red panda wich turned out to be a desert looner in a dirty suit who talked about our planet being egg shaped -We found the lake those town folk mentioned... turns out we ended up near the Great Lake's shore... im not surprised, specially afther we saw a giant orange glowing fish spearing a boat from afar. -Afther leaving the Great Lake's we continued our search for the freight car, we ended encountering another team and we had no choice to share our story about what we saw so far (omitting the town's part, they were nice people) -We hadn't saw them when we had to go back in the head count -Larry got this photo of a wendingo wearing a red suit fighting some guy in priest robes, we don't know how he did it but we know that no wonder why he wanted us to get out of the Forest's border and the town near it, at least the Wendingo has some class, unlike the bloodfiend that lives some streets down the station. -Turns out the Crimson Desert of Insanity was real, no wonder why the list made us get gasmasks, i think i still feel that punch in the head...

-Well... you had quite the colourful languaje out there, at least it was us who heard it and not someone else- -Don't remind me...-

-If someone asks, turns out the desert has some plants that emit toxic gases that makes one cuckoo -While our team didn't found the freight car, our PDAs, despise all of us being in the middle of nowhere, still worked and gave us some coordinates to go and aid in the retrieval -The travel there was quite uneventful, but when we reached there, there was quite the amount of tents set out there -Turns out inside the car were crates of... something... we didn't wanted to ask what's inside -Our group was assigned to watch the rear area, i think the theory of hitting something might be true, but i don't think that was an animal -Remember the Acid Spiting Lizard? turns out the car landed on their den so yeah... we might or might not sent a few of them though a rift to let us do our job, so apologies in advance if you saw one within the past 2 months -Besides that, we had no choice to get one of those crates inside the truck and go to the rear area, despise Aisha's modifications (made during our time at that fish town) being made in the front part. -The travel back there, was, once again uneventful, likely due to us being more in the center rather than on the outside area, from what i saw in the 2 week of travelling back, one of the groups designated at the east area shot down a giant vulture, they tried to eat it, key-word "Tried", withnessing how one of them ended up kidnapped and being forced to watch it was not fun...

-And that's all i guess, right guys?- -You forgot to mention...- -We don't talk about the snake salesman- -Yeah... Let's not talk about the snake salesman-

[thunderblessedhero]

HOW ARE YOU ALL ALIVE???

N: Hoooo boy. You all… are probably in severe need of a recap. A lot has happened in the last… what, two hours? And even before that…

August: okay but I get to do the recap cause I was in the middle of it all!

Blake: hey, hey, hold on- I was missing for well over a month and presumed DEAD! I probably have like, a billion questions to answer, let me do it-

Hugh: Oh my god, we can ALL do the recap together, you idiots. We all kinda have our own piece of the story to tell, anyways.

N: Right, right, so where do I start… Well, a few days ago, I managed to find Zekrom again. After seeing what happened in Opelucid, we both decided it was time to end Team Plasma once and for all.

August: and while N was busy tracking them down, Hugh and I were following their trail! basically, after a LONG week of traveling, we made it to Humilau City and found their frigate hidden close by. Cheren, Hugh and I raided it, hoping to dismantle whatever super weapon they’d used to freeze Opelucid�� but at one point we got chased off. except for me! I stowed away to find out where they were going. I told Hugh to rendezvous with Cheren and these ex-Team Plasma guys who were also there hoping to destroy the weapon at the giant chasm. also, their super weapon was Kyurem btw- from what Drayden told me, its the third piece of the original dragon. yknow, the thing Reshiram and Zekrom used to be a part of. basically its the husk that was left over after they split… and the DNA splicers- the artifact that Team Plasma stole and modified- could be used to fuse them all back together.

Hugh: The frigate landed, and while August went after Ghetsis and Kyurem, I raided the ship in search of my little sister’s stolen Purrloin. I… found it, but it’s a Liepard now and doesn’t recognize me. But… I’ll worry about all that later.

August: while I was fighting Ghetsis, N and Zekrom came flying in seconds before it tried to kill me.

N: Zekrom had picked up on Kyurem’s pain and tracked it- that’s how we managed to get there, in the nick of time no less. But… I wasn’t prepared for what Ghetsis- my… father, had planned. He used the DNA splicers to fuse Zekrom and Kyurem…

August: I tried to defeat it, but the thing was too strong. we were seconds away from losing when- lo and behold- RESHIRAM decided to show up to the party

Blake: uh huh, so basically, I didn’t die, which is good! Plasma just faked it to make an example out of me- originally I think they… were going to genuinely kill me, but Colress convinced Ghetsis I could still be useful in helping them find Reshiram.

Blake: they, uh… I’m not sure what they used to make that video look legit, but I have my suspicions. as far as I’m aware, they still have Nox, whose illusions are close to perfect, so- that’s my guess, at least. I just… really hope he survived that hit.

N: ….

Blake: …anyways, while I was being held captive that Colress freak ran some experiments on me. I lied and told them I couldn’t call Reshiram to my side on a whim, so he just opted to experiment on my chosen abilities to try and make me summon it.

Blake: it was… pretty messed up, not gonna lie. I’m not gonna go into detail about it. but it did help me tap into some of my powers. I can summon fire in my hand now, but more importantly, I learned to communicate with Reshiram across long distances via telepathy- not that I told any of this to Colress, of course. so then began me and Reshi’s silent planning- I told him to keep his distance until the time was right. eventually, I learned about the Kyurem project, and what they were planning to do once they got their hands on Reshi.

Blake: when the frigate landed in the giant chasm, I had NO idea August was even on board or planning to take on Ghetsis. my plan was to let Kyurem start its little region-freezing spree, wait until it needed a moment to recharge and catch its breath, then swoop in on Reshi while it was weakened and take Ghetsis out.

Blake: but as you can probably tell, that… didn’t end up being what happened. I heard the guards shout something about seeing Zekrom fly in after them, so Reshi and I jumped into action. It… it was rash and stupid, I know, but ever since I learned about N being back in Unova I’ve been worrying myself sick thinking about what might happen if Ghetsis caught word. of what he might do to him.

Blake: I managed to stun Black Kyurem, but not for long. it… well, the moment I arrived Ghetsis was quick to finish what he started.

August: Kyurem absorbed Reshiram, too, and now…

N: The original dragon is off on a violent rampage around Unova.

Hugh: Yeah, I got there just in time to see that monstrosity blow a hole in the chasm and trap Ghetsis under a pile of boulders. It’s not following his command anymore, by the looks of it, but it’s definitely not on our side either.

Blake: it was like the dragons were all struggling for control in one body…

N: And now its off in the far north of the region, flattening mountain ranges- thankfully there’s not a lot of civilization out there, but its only a matter of time before it reaches a city or town.

August: after everything ended, Keldeo found me again and said he knows someone who might be able to help. and like, we need all the help we can get obviously, so now we’re following him to wherever this backup of his is.

August: aaand now you’re all caught up! here’s to hoping whatever Keldeo wants to show us can help us split the dragons again. the DNA splicers were destroyed with Ghetsis, so… this could be our only hope…

[misscammiedawn]

Charmed! Recap Day 4 (Saturday)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 (you're reading it!) Part 5

AAAAAAA!!!!

I bolted upright, terrified and activated.

“It’s okay, Cammie. It’s 2023. You’re in Annapolis. It’s Charmed. You’re in a hotel room. It’s 2:30am. Everything’s okay. Go back to sleep.”

Puppet and Sleepyhead take such good care of me…

I fell back asleep. I wasn’t even certain that moment had happened, but my journal notes said “panic attack in middle of the night?” And I asked Sleepyhead, who told me her version of that event.

I woke again at 7:30am, took a test and got myself dressed for first event of the day…

Yoga with Copper!

A presenter I had a firm connection to ran the class and it was nice to have an event with Copper. The two of us remained close during the event and did our best. I’m a bendy bitch but my reach is kind of limited.

The presenter was another person I really wanted to catch up with this weekend as we had a friendship built up from when we both lived in the same state. Alas, this was not the best time for it as I had a 9am coffee date scheduled with Daja and Nath…

Charmed! Outfit 5: Miss Dawn's Default Attire For those who want to look exactly like their Tumblr avatar.

Which I dressed up for in my “Miss Dawn Default Attire”, which is the outfit all of the online art depicting me wears. Well. Most of it. Some of it has the red magician’s outfit I wore at Beguiled.

For the Starbucks run, Daja wanted to ensure I got to eat a proper breakfast and was eager to get some time with me and her Lady at the same time.

Unfortunately what didn’t work out with our plans was that the first Positive COVID test of the convention had been announced and it was someone both Puppet and Tigress had spent time with. Puppet, for a few minutes while masked and Tigress while eating lunch.

Though it broke her heart to do so, Puppet opted to remain in the room until 48 hours after exposure to take a PCR level test to confirm she was safe to continue enjoying the con. Good news is that I am posting this on Tumblr a week later and all of Oikos have received negative PCR tests. None of us got sick.

But I at the time I was worried about a LIFE CHANGING appointment which would not have happened if I got sick. COVID anxiety played a big part of my weekend.

The knowledge of that important appointment meant Oikos needed to discuss how to handle this. We decided that masks should remain on during demos and classes, no inviting people outside of our bubble into rooms (Daja/Turq are inside bubble) and any major play required tests before hand if possible.

Sleepyhead was booked solid for the entire day full of demos and fun. I was OVERJOYED that she was getting all of that…

Though I will write a little more about that later…

I pulled into the tail end of the hairplay demo class and sat next to Daja who cuddled me close and ensured I paid attention, even going as far as to forbid the nuzzle trigger from working for the next hour. She was interested in my reactions. The way I gasped and whimpered at the wall slams, the way I shied up at the neck nape grab. How I giggled and enjoyed one of the presenters hamming up her role and another turning himself into a wall for the demo bottom to be slammed against.

There was a Kodak moment in there. You had to be in the room. Or the online stream.

Hairplay is always a highlight for me any time I go. Daja was in Toppy space and was being playful. My reactions must have been feeding her.

“And, sweetling, when the next demo happens you’ll feel whatever happens to the demo happen to you.”

I whimper just to remember.

The presenter was showing off his D.A.N.G.L.E the most advanced hairplay tactic where the hypnotee goes limp and their whole weight is held up by the hair pull and…

In 2022 I wrote:

"Eventually Daja’s second demo came about. The Directed Angle Neutral Grip Leverage maneuver. Dangle. A tall grip where the subject goes limp in your group and is held up by their hair.

Daja later told me she went as limp as she felt safe to but she knows her body.

I know how gorgeous that looked. Outside of skill level, but I wanted that. I wanted it. I.

I wanted it."

Daja knew this and wanted me to FEEL this… and feel it I did.

Mmmm…I…

Oh… *whimper*

I just

*Whimper*

I felt it…

The class ended and we decided to go up to the room quickly before the Topping Is For Everyone class and my own Communication With Deep Self class.

I was feeling a little destabilized so told Daja that I’d be looking at my tablet, but I’d be in the room and present as she taught the class. I sat in the corner of the room because the person sitting next to me in the front row was enjoying a teaching lunch and I still had hospital stuff in the back of my mind.

It was a good class. Last time I attended it Miss Dawn was eager to learn all the ways that Daja enjoyed topping and use her own tricks against her. Those memories made me smile then as they make me smile again typing.

EnScenic reached out to me via Discord to say that she was looking to give me a gift and that we should meet up. I told her my location and she said she would stop by.

Daja spoke about how seeing Captain Marvel helped her utilize Carol Danvers energy to overcome any social programming about manifesting her power. She said that she is beyond needing that, but outright said “I have nothing to prove to you.”, which reminded me of a brat taming scene I had done with her once, and that made me smile. I love her so much when she’s bold and strong and sure of herself. I always love her. But my heavens that glow when she is firm and certain in her conviction and determined.

I am still beyond smitten.

She went over a little bit about the vampire fantasy which was going to end our weekend and how things were looking from her perspective.

I simply couldn’t wait. The way Daja went through my fantasy list and wanted to make them all a reality was just—

I cannot even begin to find words for how honored, flattered and overjoyed I am by everything from the weekend.

After the class EnScenic stopped by and handed me a hand drawn image of a Dalek yelling FRACTIONATE - FRACTIONATE!

I near died laughing when that image was posted online. Apparently EnScenic remembered my reaction because she went through the effort of bringing it to the con and hunting me down…

So many people did so many nice things for me this weekend…

I— I’m so happy to be part of this community. I’m finally home. I finally came to the party. I’ve always been welcome. I’m here. I’m happy. I’m home.

I want to hug every single person. Just squee about what they all mean to me. How humbled I am by their encouragement and acceptance. I may have cried again. I don’t know. I was all over the place.

After a quick lunch it was time for my class, Communication With The Deep Self.

Daja and Copper were in the audience as well as a Twitter community writer of whom I have great respect and admiration for and the gentleman who was being an issue on the Discord, along with a group of folks he seemed deeply engaged in conversation with, hyping up Ormund as the best hypnotist.

The Zoom coordinator hopped on and began to start the intro schpiel, it was quite loud. Loud enough that Daja plugged her ears.

It did not seem to dissuade the disruptive party from a conversation. They even seemed to be standing up and testing balance or measuring feet size. I was not certain. I was simply bewildered. I could not understand what I was seeing. The class had started. Please sit the ever living fuck down you *intruder*.

The class went okay. I feel I gave a better version of the talk a year ago, but I was discombobulated and in the wrong headspace for it. Dawn would have done a better job of it.

I recall explaining the concept of the mirror lake trance I use on Sleepyhead versus the “Ceiling Unlimited” version that I use on Daja. The concept is a complete and utter tranquil state of peacefulness. I used it on either of them to try and induce Esdaile. Succeeded in both cases.

Copper told me that I had misinterpreted the meaning of Ceiling Unlimited, but it’s okay because it likely matches the meaning of the Rush song I was pulling from.

I wish I had a better recollection of the class but it was a blur. I do not wish I had a recording for that one. Still wish I had one for the Presence class.

It proves that I need to tailor my output to be more akin to Presence.

Daja and I returned to the room and had a few quick scenes. I was still riding a bit of Top energy from the class and so did my absolute best to pounce her, pushing the “feel me” trigger as far as it could go. I was feeling fair triumphant but Daja appeared to be a loving brat and proved that she is not the only one who can stretch the “feel me” trigger.

As I pulled her in with a “Daja, Kiss Me!” And a Freeze, I enjoyed keeping her at the egde of my range. I then hypnotically bound her wrists to a surface and released her. Hung right outside of her ability to reach me.

“Feel me make you kiss me.”

…!

That!

She!

….!!!!!

UNFAIR! TRICKERY! THIS IS MUTINY. 

And that is how Daja successfully flustered a Fae.

And then made her sweetling go deep.

I tend to write “eclipse” as a descriptive in prose. For when someone stands above someone and engulfs their entire vision. To block out light and make the entire world a single focus that is the person commanding your attention.

Daja eclipsed me in that moment. She was delighted by how my eyes rolled up and asked for permission to take the photo above.

We paused for food and enjoyed a quick date before moving on to evening events.

With that, we prepared for the soiree. This was when the blue fire scene had been scripted to have happened, so I simply skipped the ceremony and used the forehead press to have her get dressed and pulled on my own outfit:

Charmed! Outfit 6: The Soiree

For lovely queer ladies who are going to the ball to flirt.

As we left the hotel room there was a Moment which feels too private for me to truly intrude upon. But Daja and I got to be there for a friend. I’m glad I was there. I am glad I could be of assistance…

Once that I accompanied Daja to the Soiree room but did not have much time to enjoy the queer ambiance as Sleepyhead showed up looking for me.

She did this because she is a good Dolly.

Earlier in the day she and I had discussed hitting the vendor’s hall together. I wanted to get her a lovely birthday present. That was always on the cards. My presence with her in the vendor’s hall was no longer a request, though. It was a neccessity.

See… while I have been off attending Topping Is For Everyone, teaching Communication With The Deep Self, having coffee and subs and curry— Dolly, sweet little thing she is, had been keeping herself VERY busy. Dollification class, fractionation class, memory play class, hypno-roulette…. she had been demoing nearly constantly since 10am.

I posted this on Twitter and I find it to be the most accurate representation of how Saturday was for Sleepyhead:

And so I hooked her arm and lead her up the stairs. I was in my most fancy outfit, wearing heels and a swooning blissed out dolly was leaning against me barely lucid enough to do more than sigh and murmur when I softly asked her to stay with me and follow along.

The vendors room was a very small part of my weekend. I doubt it lasted more than 30 minutes and yet I was able to fit in quite a number of potent memories. From bumping into a number of folks I had longed to speak to all weekend while dressed up in my best; to taking my sweet girlfriend around each stall to examine the wears while softly teasing her with little promises of what each item could be used for.

It is rare for me to get these pure dominant moments where I get to embody the style and grace of a Top in a non-scene space. She was so very sweet and tender and her passion for hypnotic trinkets was so refined. Every book on sale she owned. Literally every single one.

After a full cycle we discussed what she enjoyed and went back to look at the ones that she had her eye on. A necklace with a near Disco Ball level of sparkles surrounding it. “We’ll take it.” And I paid while she admired. Then another trinket, a sibling of the bottle I uncorked earlier that weekend.

I tipped Linny $10 extra for being responsible for my best scene of the weekend. I feel it was more than well earned.

Feeling dominant and confident, I lead Sleepyhead back to the room so she may enjoy a little more of her hypnotic reverie. Puppet, who was now taking her PCR level test, was still confined to the room. As I settled down, Puppet explained that Sleepy was intending to go stay with someone important to her and needed to prepare for that. The test pinged negative and I proved to everyone, including myself, that Bad Pain Days have incredible highs as well as lows.

See when I’m in a BPD day I am so overwhelmed by my own emotions that I cannot filter or apply appropriate levels of reaction to things. Typically this is set off by upset, paranoia or frustration.

It can also be sparked off by moments of love, moments of relief, euphoria. Even as I skipped through the day there had been several moments where I had cried and been torn asunder by raw emotion.

Puppet got the negative. Sleepyhead had the Most Perfect Day Ever.

I broke down in happy tears. Blubbering that I was so worried about Dolly.

About this time. Saturday night of Charmed! 2022, Puppet and I knelt side by side in front of our Goddess and were asked to, under no compulsions and free of any influence, give ourselves to our beloved Goddess.

That memory means the world to me. It was *special* it was *important*. But it was in the Oikos living room, in the light of a make-shift studio I created for the occasion. It was lovely. But it was not the plan.

It would have taken place in one of the classrooms. Surrounded by loved ones. Witnesses who loved Goddess. Witnesses who were overjoyed to see Puppet and I’s big moment of accepting our collars.

Omicron crushed that dream. Just 3 weeks before the event and that impacted all of us in ways we’re still not fully over, yet. When Beguiled happened, Puppet and I went rogue. We needed to be there for our sanity and mental health.

Sleepy refused to go. She couldn’t handle another dream being snatched away.

I was carrying so much worry that Sleepy’s anxiety would keep her from enjoying the con, but here she was, fractionated to oblivion and with even further evening plans. Puppet was not going to be confined any longer.

It turned out okay. It was alright. Thank heavens. It was alright.

I love them both so very much. I love them and I’m so glad they got to have this and no one can take it away from them this time.

So fucking happy.

I returned to the Soiree to finish up but it was *loud* in there. I sat on the outskirts of the room and chatted mildly with Joy but Miss Daja informed me that if I was uncomfortable, I should leave. She was proud of me for speaking up for myself earlier in the day, she wanted to ensure I was always rewarded for speaking up and seeking my comfort.

So I slipped out… around about the same time another friend from the local hypno-community did.

This person was someone I’ve not seen since March 2020. She was a member of the HYPE monthly hypnosis meet-up in Grand Rapids.

We bonded a little bit over old memories and for a brief moment I felt calm and comfortable. Like I *could* just start up conversations without shyness or feeling stupid.

After she left I confessed this feeling to Kitty Sylvie who was door dragon for the moment. 

And then I started crying again.

Because Sylv said such kind words about my presence in the community, especially online and then Psy just appeared out of nowhere backing them up and I was just left without words. Two lovely humans who I trusted and wished I were better at being open, casual and conversational with.

Perhaps in another world I would have stayed in that hallway. I would have opened up and made a connection with two people I actually *do* desire to know better. I would have channeled some of that adorable cuteness or that flashy performative charm or my level serious empathetic conversational energy.

In this reality, I let the tears win and I retreated to the room. There I ran a hot bath to activate physical extreme stimulus. Unlike some of my friends who go through this, I couldn’t be feeling rope bite tonight. Nor would I seek it.

Some music and heat will do the trick… and they did.

Daja IMed me to let me know that not only had the soiree ended pleasantly and she had met up with Tennfan. Thanks to some banter during the Topping Class she discovered that Tenn had enough training to handle drops and falls and things that Daja had assumed no one in the community was physically capable of doing with her other than the ONE PERSON SHE WOULD NEVER EVER EVER.

I was summoned to meet them after Daja had run a scene and listened to them chat a bit. Tenn is one of the 5 major asexuals in the community who I find trust and kinship with. 

Tenn and I really need to build a rapport and just get to talking. I may have to be the one to throw the first signal.

But that chat we all had was really nice. Really really nice.

Apparently the topic did not elude my devious Faelike nature because once Daja was free we snuck into my room for another scene. Puppet was enjoying post-quarantine freedom and Sleepy was away for the night.

Dawn *pounced*. To the point where Daja once again had to invoke the pact the two of us had made.

Sometimes I worry about going too far; understanding that, Daja made a promise that she would enforce our agreed upon boundaries if I do, so I can let go and enjoy the moment.

She enforced them then. I am glad she did. There is a certain level of “out of control” where I essentially hit trance state and for lack of better wording, my voice in Dawn’s actions goes away. It’s a liberating moment, especially when I think about it in her headspace, but it’s like throwing away the safety and I’m terrified of breaking something when I lose my over-controlled behaviors.

Daja is supplementing that and makes it easier to feel no fear. I am grateful to her for that.

After the scene was ended, I settled back to Camden space and cuddled her. I was still a little caught up by how INTENSE the day was and bemoaned how I hated that I cost her spoons to deal with. Spoons she needed for running classes and meeting partners and traveling.

Daja just told me I refill her spoons. She feels energized when we talk. When we play. When we’re together like this.

…what do I even say to that? I was lost for words. Well… most words. I had a few left.

“I believe you.”

Daja tucked me in again and fed me a chocolate. We had another day of fun and games. Tomorrow would be the vampire scene. Tomorrow was worth looking forward to.

Part 5

[squirrelno2]

A while back I threatened to post my outline of a hypothetical season two of JATP. This is that outline (seasons 3-5 will be longer coming but they're also gonna happen because I said so). I'm using what I know Kenny said about how the show would have gone, which means I'm not letting myself do ships other than Juke and Willex since those are the only ones we know would have been canon in the rest of the show, and I'm also trying to achieve the ending Kenny planned (even though I have. No idea if I'd make the same calls? Anyway)

So this season in my head would have three major Subjects: developing the backstory of Trevor/Bobby and beginning overt Carrie development via her interactions with him, an Alex family arc (letting us develop not only Willex but also his relationship with Julie, as well as looking into his past with the guys), and of course the Nick possession plotline (sorry Nick you're last but most pressing I swear). Externally, the framework for this is a school show where Julie and Nick have to work together (think the dance thing but as a season long arc whoops. We have to get them in the same room often. For dramatic irony)

Episode Thoughts below

Episode 1:

As a teaser we would get a flashback to Julie and Carlos talking about the ghosts, helping recap the previous season while establishing what Carlos knows and how he feels about it.

The main plot of this episode would be Nick/Caleb trying to get closer to Julie and Luke pouting, for which Julie calls him out since it's just Nick trying to be friends as far as she knows.

Because the guys are able to touch Julie and have been revealed to Carlos, Luke is like "what if we revealed ourselves to other ppl, like our parents" and Alex talks him out of it - at the time it all seems very face value but this is obviously foreshadowing his feelings on the family stuff

Bobby/Trevor is panicking and trying everything to learn more about the band, including attending a JATP show

The featured song for this would be the show Trevor attends, which would either tie into Luke's jealousy over Nick or poke at Trevor's issues by referencing the guys' pasts. Possibly if it's cleverly written we can get both, and Luke apologises to Julie about the Nick thing afterwards while Trevor falls into a guilt spiral

Episode 2

Teaser: Trevor shows up to the Molina house while Julie is out to talk to Ray, looking super frazzled (directly following guilt spiral above)

The main plot would be Alex and Luke having another issue while talking about their families, resulting in Alex going to find Willie but being unable to talk to him and eventually ending up at Julie's house as Luke and Reggie look for him; he opens up to Julie about his relationship with his parents and why Luke going from "screw family!" To "man I love my parents" is so hurtful in particular

Carlos and Flynn work together trying to divert Trevor and Ray's questions about the band. This is the comedic relief but can also be used to plant some seeds of a Flynn insecurity arc

Carrie decides to admit she liked Julie's show to Nick, because in her mind that'll put them "on" again, only to find that he's reacting strangely to her in a way that's not normal annoyed Nick

Featured songs include a Carrie rehearsal where we see her distracted by how badly her conversation with Nick went and a Hollywood Ghost Club show that Alex sees when he goes looking for Willie, which ends up making him more upset when he sees Willie dancing in it

Episode 3

After Alex saw the HGC they're like clearly we need to get Willie out of there so both the teaser and the main plot are this; Willie is under Caleb's control and there are a series of near-misses with Caleb!Nick just out of sight

Carlos is upset about being left out and complains to Flynn, who is also deeply upset but tries to distract him

Trevor tries to ask Carrie about Julie's band but she is only interested in complaining about how weird Nick has been

Featured songs include a rap by Flynn designed to distract Carlos and make him laugh, which gets cut off partway through, and a Willex duet that's also kind of a battle of the bands between jatp and the hgc

Episode 4

Willie knows Caleb is coming back and the freeing wasn't successful so he begs them to go as the teaser

Julie can't give Alex Willie so she decides she wants to give him closure with his family - while Luke was ok with this last season Alex is not and they finally have a conversation about how they all have overstepped with that stuff, keeping Julie from actually making contact

Carrie realises her dad is severely messed up over jatp and decides she has to investigate this (because if she is a Good Person then she can make people like her!) and attempts to ingratiate herself again with Julie and Flynn (yes this goes terribly)

Caleb!Nick and Julie continue to hang out, which is mostly just ominous and also showcases Luke's development since episode one bc he's annoyed but doing much better

Featured song here is a Caleb!Nick and Julie duet they're thinking about doing for the school show

Episode 5

Willie finds out that Caleb is possessing Nick in the teaser

Julie enlists the others to do something nice for Alex, and they write a song with an Alex feature while struggling to dance around the whole "your boyfriend is being held captive by an evil jazz ghost" thing

Flynn confronts Carrie about her sudden niceness, leading Carrie to snap back and pick at Flynn's insecurities - Carrie walks away knowing she's failed at her original plan but also Flynn walks away deeply upset

Carlos becomes convinced, between Trevor's weirdness and Carrie's, that the Wilsons are part of some grand ghost conspiracy, and attempts to investigate accordingly, ending up sneaking into the Wilson house

The featured song for this episode is the Alex song they write

Episode 6

In the teaser, Alex's family sees JATP on Youtube

The main plot here is Julie and Alex navigating the fuckery that the Mercer family brings, partly them being "how dare you use his image!!!" on a legal level and partly them saying shit Alex Knows isn't true about who Alex was to them

Willie is trying to escape the HGC to warn the others about Caleb!Nick

Trevor finds Carlos who decides to confront him and realises as he's explaining his elaborate conspiracy theory that Trevor probably stole "my name is Luke" from Luke

Featured songs are a Trevor song he plays while explaining himself to Carlos and a song that JATP plays when they realise they can't get rid of the Mercers or call them out any other way

Episode 7

Willie appears post-"yes this is actually Alex" song and warns them about Nick/Caleb before getting yanked away

Alex gets to properly have it out with the family members who are present (some family members reconcile and some remain assholes that Alex gets to call out at the end) and ends up being like "all I care about is Willie, Im dead so we don't need to matter to each other" or something I don't know how I'd have him say it yet or who gets that speech (his dad? Probably?)

Julie and the guys try to figure out what to do, struggling to act normal around Caleb!Nick as they try to come up with a plan to help Willie; this takes them to the night of the school show

Carrie and Carlos both want to ask Julie questions about what's up with Trevor and get brushed off bc of the stress of everything else; Flynn runs interference but is visibly upset at being left out of the planning again

The only song in this is one from the school show rehearsal, maybe a Dirty Candi number or a Flynn song so we can keep the JATP with Nick song for the finale

Episode 8

In the teaser, Caleb knows Julie knows who he is and threatens her to stay away from his club, including Willie

Julie apologises to Carlos for brushing him off and then scolds him for all the stuff with Trevor, who she avoids like the plague; she thanks Flynn for everything she's done lately

The few Mercers who reconciled with Alex come to the show

Using the power of love, friendship, and aggressively singing, Julie and the guys push Caleb out of Nick (everyone thinks they upped their hologram light show game when the purple smoke appears) - Nick is bewildered but deeply grateful and gets some non-Caleb singing in at the finale of the song

[le-souriant]

#MusicMonday Review - December 2022

#MusicMonday is the hashtag I've been using for quite a while to share music recommendations from up-and-coming artists. Always fresh, and always different, trying to look for trends before they become one. You can check November's review for more music.

Welcome to the last #MusicMonday of the year! Let's have a recap of the most popular genres of the year with some cool tracks, and a word from the artists themselves. 🎧

Michi Sanz – Hey Siri

¿Será que no me quiere? ¿Será que ya no me ama? ¿Estará con sus amigos diciendo que no me extraña? Que no me quiere pero se engaña, Por qué todas las madrugadas (El me llama)

Qué raro que tú, diciendo que esto fue mi actitud, Y no se que tú esperas de mi De mi parte esto ya se acabó.

We begin with a (not so) upbeat Latin Pop track from Maracay, Venezuela. Can we ask the virtual assistant how to unbreak a heart?

"The theme tells a story of heartbreak in which Siri is the main protagonist and virtual confidante. I went for old Avril Lavigne, Olivia Rodrigo sounds. My favorite part of creating this track was being able to flow organically with genres that were new to me."

Rolling Thunder – Sunny's Song

 As nice as you look I'm sure you can tell No one in this room wants to buy what you sell

A face on the board and a staple in time 'Til one off the belt comes and takes all the light

A wink of the eye and a stick of the tongue Distracts from the fact that you're not having fun A half empty drink warm and flat in your hand Allows you to think that it's all gone to plan

Next genre: Indie Rock from Northampton, England, with a tale of the life of those who make a living giving discount codes with a fake smile:

"I started writing the song just as the first lockdown happened, I was up in Nottingham by myself away from the rest of the boys and the only thing I could do was write.

Thematically the biggest inspiration for the song was influencer culture. I was seeing pictures of these love island contestants getting spat out onto club circuits and they all had nothing behind the eyes and looked miserable. A lot of it is about describing the experience and trying to show how quickly you can get it and how quickly it can be taken away."

The Collectors – Don't Be Afraid

Well there's no easy way out All you do is doubt All your hopes and dreams away

You need to find a way for a better day But all you got to do is pay Now you're on your own and close To the bone when you Think about it again

Representing Brit Pop, a band from Stockton-on-Tees, England with a song about understanding there's no one to blame about the life you decide to live. Just don't be afraid:

"It was just one of them days where you worry but you can't really do anything about it but daydream your thoughts away."

Lantern By Sea – Ghost Story

I was never too good at goodbyes I’d pace the backyard beneath a veil of light Oh, how was I supposed to move on With a love not gone away?

On this long road I’ve been so alone Passing through towns that I’ll never call home But God I wouldn’t take another path If my will can last the nightFrom Provo, UT, this cinematic song takes us on a journey about watching from a distance, in true Indie Folk style:

"Ghost Story was inspired by being stuck in over-romanticized memories, memories of being young and care free, memories of being in love. Constantly revisiting them and never moving on."

Arrester – The Worst People... Having the Time of Their Lives

We never miss our rent Got every seasons clothes We can't afford to buy a house Just like everyone we know

Keeping our heads down Has served us well so far Never seem to get ahead But we've got a nice new car

Open my eyes to find a shocking surprise The worst people having the time of their lives

Finally, let's travel to Toronto, CA to get a taste of Australian Indie with a song that warns about staying in our lanes, and being complacent:

"Just seeing the glee with which the right wing in the US and elsewhere we’re going about their awful business. That and feeling my middle class white guy-ness was part of the problem essentially. The whole album is kind of in that vein."

#MusicMonday 2022

What a way to finish the year! We say goodbye to 2022 with this year's compilation. 99 titles from original artists covering plenty of different genres, all representing the multiple trends independent artists are proud to establish. Have a listen:

Preview 2023 and much more on the complete Playlist

@osornios

[roniscloud]

lhs - runnin’

lee heeseung [a. + f. 4700 words] runnin’

to you

you came up on some new

i know i shouldn’t feel blue

‘cause i was runnin’ out of time for you

synopsis: you met heeseung in your freshman year of college and immediately hit it off. you’ve made it to your third year and when everyone including yourselves thought that you were each other’s endgame, the devastation when you two split was immeasurable. you both know there’s still love between you. this break allows you both to realize new things. can you two find your ways back to each other? will this be the final goodbye?

genre + tropes: angst. fluff. comedy. college!au. establishedrelationship!au. exes!au.

warnings: fem reader. swearing. arguing. nosy friends. cold heeseung and cold reader. drifting relationship. interventions. slight suggestive themes but it’s only mentioned like once. they both pine over each other. mentions of alcohol and binge drinking. maybe not a happy ending. if you choose to see it that way. whoops. appearances of the rest of enha plus txt yeonjun and soobin.

i.  the break

“so this is how it’s gonna end? i thought we were doing fine.”

heeseung erupts into an even angrier fit, “are you kidding me? we are not fucking fine. in what world is this fine? tell me!”

you scoff from where you stand cross-armed on the other side of the bedroom. “well, can you really blame me? it’s hard to see if there’s something wrong if we never see each other.”

“exactly my point! we don’t see each other.”

the two of you have been at each other’s throats since heeseung showed up at your apartment. you have no idea how long ago that was or when the argument started. all you remember is coming up to him when he arrived, wanting to actually spend some time with him. instead he shrugged you off and ignored you, blaming the fatigue. the rest has been a blur. one of you made an offhand comment and now here you are: frustrated and in another fight.

a quick recap: you two met at a mutual friend’s party. you thought that each other was attractive and he ended up asking you out. from there you kept going out, fell in love, dated, and everyone thought you were perfect together. three years later and it’s getting tiring. life has been draining trying to balance it all.

“and who’s fault is that?”

annoyed, he snaps back, “oh please, you can not put the blame solely on me.”

“bullshit. i sure can when i’m the only one making an effort here. i’ve actually been trying to save us. you, on the other hand…” you pause again, rolling your eyes, “well, we both know just how much you care.”

his jaw drops, defensively he spits back, “are you genuinely implying that i don’t care about you? about us? that’s rich.”

you move to sit on the edge of the bed, staring at a single spot on the floor. you can see the shadow of heeseing pacing back and forth. you sit there, not looking at each other. the only sounds to be heard are his footsteps and the heavy sighs from you. you think back to the last several weeks. you recall each of the times you have been able to see each other. there’s no substance, nothing memorable. the only thing that comes to mind is that you always end up not talking at all or arguing.

just like right now.

“be real, heesung. when was the last time we went on a date? when was the last time you stayed the night without it ending up with you just knocking out? when was the last time we actually sat down and had a conversation? be honest because i will. i can’t remember.”

“and yet you thought we were fine?”

“well it’s better to believe a good lie than face the hurtful truth. i’m trying to save this relationship. i’m trying all the fucking time and you don’t do shit.”

he spits back frustrated, “well maybe that’s because there’s nothing to be saved.”

“are you kidding me right now? am i supposed to be scared? you tell me that there’s nothing to be saved and expect me to just give up?”

“sorry but i’m not running from this anymore.”

“you’re not sorry and we both know it.” you push yourself back up to stand, resting your hands on your hips, “you can’t say you’re sorry and expect me to forgive you. that’s not how this works.”

“this isn’t what i wanted to happen. this isn’t how it was supposed to go.”

“then make it work.”

“i- i can’t,” he holds his hands over his face, running one through his hair, “it’s too much.”

“so what? what do you mean?”

he finally stops. he takes a deep breath and lets it all out, “i just can’t see this working anymore, at least not like this.”

ii. week one

you thought this would be more difficult. that this would be the hardest pill to swallow. the first week apart may actually be the easiest. nothing has really changed. that’s probably because you haven’t told anyone that you two are no longer together. perhaps the time that you didn’t spend with each other before the break up had trained you for this.

life goes on, with or without heeseung. that’s what you keep telling yourself. you choose to get caught up with your life. you have other priorities. it’s not a crime to focus on yourself for the first time in three years.

heeseung feels the same. he doesn’t see any point on dwelling on the breakup. sure, he was the one who made the decision. he’s the one who put it out there. he’s the one who ended it and the one who is taking responsibility.

lucky for both of you, you don’t have any courses together and your schedules don’t really coincide. there’s no chance at any awkward run-ins. there is this weird, tiny feeling though. there’s this small inkling of something missing. you both suppress it. i mean, hell, the breakup just happened.

iii. scheming

meanwhile, your friends have all seemed to notice that the two of you are off. they aren’t sure what it is. they get that you two have had some time apart, but you’re both adults with lives. you have your own classes, jobs, other friends, and such. no one mentions it because they don’t think it’s their business.

but come on… there’s no way they won’t get to the bottom of it. our resident gossips, sunoo and sunghoon, team up and make it their mission to snoop around. of course, they take precautions to not get caught. the scheming duo find out nothing, to no avail.

now the gang of the scheming duo plus jay, jake, and niki have convened in the common room of jungwon’s dorm building. the 02z are all playing billiards in one corner. sunoo battles jungwon in a game of ping pong. the youngest of the group sits by himself on one of the couches, contemplating if he should speak up. they’ve been in a heated discussion as they try to figure out what exactly has been irking them.

riki, against his own conscience, speaks up to the five. he has this gut feeling and innocently wants to voice his opinion. “what if,” the young boy start out while gauging the faces of the others, “now don’t get mad and just hear me out.” he stops again, taking his time to make eye contact with each of the older boys, waiting until they all nod, “what if… they broke up?”

the group of friends all exchange glances with each other before breaking out into laughter. jay composes himself a bit, still chuckling when he says, “seriously? you think they broke up? heeseung and y/n? yeah, no way.”

sunoo leans onto the ping pong table and eggs him on, “they are literally soulmates.”

jungwon sets his racket down and goes to plop himself next to riki on the couch, “there is no way in hell the two of them split.”

iv. breaking news

“yeah, we split.” plain and simple. three words that crushed the poor hearts of jake and jungwon. he broke the news over brunch. he sensed their curiosity when they deliberately never brought you up. 

“good joke there, dude. almost had me for a second.” jake says, awkwardly with a forced laugh.

the youngest of the three chiming in and agreeing, “yeah, that’s really funny.” a silence hits the booth. “you are joking… right?”

the oldest then looks back and forth between the two, tilting his head to one side like a confused pup. he doesn’t see why they think he would joke and simply replies, “nope. you guys haven’t asked so i’m guessing you tried to snoop around and pick up on my cues. i’m also guessing sunoo’s behind this whole operation.”

“ok wait,” jake interjects, “what do you mean you broke up? you can’t just break up.”

jungwon agrees, “he’s right. you two are just playing a prank on us.”

“guys, i’m serious. y/n and i are no longer together.” the two just freeze, jaws dropped, eyes wide. “besides, it’s better this way.”

v. bad timing

meanwhile the remaining four members of their friend group have met up in the campus library in an attempted study session. so far, they’ve just gone back to gossiping and slacking off. the boys all find themselves teetering on the verge of sleep. that is until sunghoon catches you walking in. immediately going to softly pat the others back awake, they all look up confused. trying to stay subtle, hoon jerks his head to the side in your direction.

you make your way to one of the shelves, searching high and low for a book you need for your literature class. sneaking up behind you comes choi yeonjun, the library aid and a friend of yours. 

“need any help?”

“no thanks, i’m good jun.” you give him a polite smile.

unbeknownst to both of you, the failure of a study group has creeped to a closer table. they knew that you two were friends but they still can’t help but eavesdrop. “will you two please shut up so we can hear them?” the annoyed face evident on sunghoon’s face at the bickering of sunoo and niki. he turns to see jay, snacking and not paying attention. he rolls his eyes at the group, his gaze then catching yeonjun leading you out of the shelves. quickly shushing the three and nodding his head in your direction again, they finally get the hint.

yeonjun steps in front of you, “so you know my friend soobin, right?”

“soobin… as in choi soobin?”

yeonjun flashes his bright smile, “that’s the one.”

“yeah i know him. we had a stats class together a while back. he definitely taught me a few tricks around a calculator.” you laugh with him, “he’s super sweet, and needless to say cute too.”

“well, am i glad to hear that! long story short, he’s kinda been crushing on you lately and wants to know if you’re free. he mentioned your shared class before but he said he never got your number.”

“since you have mine already, go ahead and give it to him. tell him i’m free whenever he is.”

yeonjun raises his eyebrows at your boldness, “will do. i just wanted to ask you first before i gave it to him because… y’know…”

“no worries, i completely understand.”

he gives a quick goodbye before going back to his desk. storming quickly, four faces appear in front of you, all a combination of confusion, shock, and anger. 

sunoo starts, “um… y/n. why are you telling yeonjun to give your number to another guy?”

“yeah, are you cheating on heeseung?” his partner in crime, sunghoon, joins in.

you pause and scan their faces. your face dawns an equally as confused expression. “how can i cheat on someone who isn’t my boyfriend?”

four jaws simultaneously drop. riki’s being the first to close and answer a bit hushed, “i knew it.”

jay turns to him in disbelief, “not the time, niki!”

“did heeseung not tell you guys?” you ask them slowly. “i assumed he would be the one to let you all know.”

“that you two broke up?!” sunoo asks angrily, being shushed by yeonjun from the counter. giving an apologetic smile then tuning back into your conversation, “what do you mean you two broke up?”

“we just… broke up. that’s it. end of story. now if you’ll excuse me, i have to actually study.”

they watch you check out the book you came in for originally and walk out the doors, unsure of what to do next.

vi. the intervention

arranging your monthly movie night was not exactly the easiest task given the tensions surrounding two people in your group. so the only logical solution that they all could think of was to simply not to tell one of you that the other was coming over. a fool-proof plan.

in the dorm of the 02z, you did not expect to see heeseung when you walked in.

he gets up from his spot on the couch, “what the hell is going on here?”

“yeah, an explanation would be nice.” you cross your arms as you glare at the younger boys.

niki, trying to act as mediator gestures for both of you two sit on the loveseat—the same loveseat that was always reserved for the two of you before. “this is an intervention.”

after the confession of their intentions, everyone goes quiet. not a single word is spoken for several minutes, no one knowing how to start. after much internal contemplation, jungwon finally attempts to start. “we brought you two here today because- you know what, i can’t do this.” he stops and cuts himself off, burying his face in his hands.

sunoo sits next to him with his arms crossed. “how dare you two? our parents gets divorced and we don’t even get a notice.” it was common for them to refer to you and heeseung as the parents of the group, being the oldest. although something about sunoo still calling you by that nickname stings, him shaking his head to display his disappointment making you feel guilty. 

you see heeseung out of the corner of your eye avoiding looking up to your friends. “look, i don’t see the big deal. we broke up. that happens when relationships don’t work out.”

sunghoon quickly intervenes, “how can you say it isn’t a big deal? you’re letting three years go to waste and that’s all you can say? that’s what happens.” he scoffs at how shameless you come off.

“well, would you rather us stay together even when we were unhappy?” their reactions were a mix of shouts, the words yes, of course not, and duh all blending into each other.

that’s what brought your ex boyfriend out of his daze. “y/n has a point. we broke up and it’s over. we were no longer happy and i don’t see the point in bringing it up again either. it’s in the past. let it go.” he says rather coldly and sternly. him actually saying it and acknowledging it caused that weird feeling to come back. his body language is off, too. your years together has taught you enough about heeseung to know when he’s upset, especially with himself.

jake takes his turn, looking down at his fidgeting hands and muttering sadly, “but you promised each other forever.”

that prompts you and heeseung to glance at each other quickly, making eye contact and it lingering for a couple of seconds. you look away first, not noticing that his stare doesn’t leave you.”some promises just can’t be kept.” your response then making him turn away.

“bullshit.” it’s the first word uttered by jay this entire time. “neither of you are the type to break promises.”

“some things can’t be helped,” heeseung defends.

jay, getting angrier, asks his friend, “did you know that she’s already going on a date? yeah, that guy, soobin. i’m pretty sure you know who he is. your ex,” he makes sure to stress the last word with a certain degree of annoyance, “thinks he’s cute.”

emotionless, heeseung answers back, “good for her, then.”

you were sure that you were over him, that’s why you said yes to the date. but something about him not caring leaves you feeling odd.

jungwon stops your train of thought, “no, you’re supposed to be upset. you’re supposed to get jealous and confess you still want to be with her. you’re supposed to fight for her and be together.”

another quick glance between the two of you, lasting longer than the previous one. no words are said on his end, but you know exactly what he’s trying to say. “he doesn’t have to fight when i’m the one who ended it.” you knew him. you knew he couldn’t admit to the others his decision. after all, he wants to be a good role model even in his darkest times. he couldn’t crush their idea of love and you did what you had to do. you lied for his sake—and maybe even yours.

vii. him

two months have passed since the breakup. there’s tension amongst the friend group, the six not wanting to pick sides between you and heeseung. they’re constantly going back and forth, like they’re walking on eggshells as to not bring up something that only happened with the other.

to get your mind off everything, you’ve found comfort in soobin. well, more accurately you’ve found comfort in between his sheets, or wherever you two decide for it to go down. that’s not to say the dates aren’t great. you’re not official and you both know that. your latest date, however, couldn’t help but feel weird.

the date was going pretty well. don’t get me wrong—soobin is a great guy. he’s sweet, caring, funny, and handsome. you have a lot in common like your taste in drinks and movies. maybe if you had met him first, you would’ve dated him… but you didn’t meet him first. you met heeseung first, and soobin isn’t heeseung.

you found yourself drifting from the conversation now and then, thinking about how heeseung would’ve been at that moment. you think back to his habits, particularly the way he raises his eyebrows whenever he’s excited or talking about something he’s passionate about. you always found it endearing. over the course of dinner, you are able to notice that soobin has some cute habits too, like him covering his face when he gets shy or puffing out his cheeks. but it still isn’t the same.

“you two deserve each other.”

soobin catches your attention again with that comment. “what?”

“you and heeseung. i know that look. don’t try to lie to me.”

“look, heeseung is my past, and i want it to stay that way.”

“do you really want it to stay that way, or are you just afraid of what could happen if you let him back into your present?”

you give him a teasing glare, “don’t get all philosophical with me. i just don’t think he and i can go back to how we were before.”

“what’s so bad about you two changing? obviously if it didn’t work out, you shouldn’t try to be what you were before.”

“can’t i just try with you?”

“as much as i would love for you to give me that chance, i can’t do that to you or to myself. it’s not fair.”

you hesitantly ask him, “but is it worth it?”

“that’s not my decision to make.”

viii. her

now that you’re virtually not in his life, he seems to be looking for you everywhere. actually… rather than going out of his way to look for you, everything just reminds him of you. the jingles of the commercials you always sang along to, your favorite songs on the radio, the reruns of 90’s shows you always binged. hell, even when he was making ramen, he was reminded of how you would make his favorite for him every time he was stressed over an exam. he was sitting in the back of the lecture hall, trying so hard to stay awake for his 3 hour long class with the most boring professor on campus. he fought the urge to text you since it felt like second nature to rely on you to help cheer him up.

there was a particular night when it really hit him. reality smacked him in the face late one evening. heeseung was bored out of his mind, laying alone in bed, aimlessly browsing netflix to find something to watch. he thinks to himself y/n would’ve slammed this laptop closed and talked all night about random and obscure topics. he laughs to himself, reliving the memories. right then, it’s obvious. he misses her.

ix. promises

the rain hitting your bedroom window had no help on your already gloomy mood. what did help was the bottle of soju- well more realistically, four bottles of soju. it was all the liquid courage you needed to call heeseung at three in the morning. 

you sat drowsily on the rug of your living room, your phone on speaker and placed in front of you as you stared out the dewy glass. you heard the phone ring seven times, ready to hang up until you heard his groggy voice come out from the other end. “hello? y/n, why are you up?”

you laugh softly and ask him, sounding loopy, “why are you up?”

“because you’re calling me. would you like to give me a reason why, and are you drunk?”

“maybe. anyways, you know… i was thinking. we broke a lot of promises and it hurts. i have to know that we’re not bad people. i have to keep at least one, right?”

heeseung groans but lets you ramble, knowing that you won’t stop until you’ve said it all, “go on…”

“we made a promise that if something was going on, if we were in a dark place, that we would talk to someone. well, if you couldn’t tell by now, i’m not in the best place. the first person i thought to talk to was you.”

“why me?”

“shhh… don’t ask questions. i know you’re tired so just stay on the phone and let me talk. ok?”

he goes quiet for a bit, sighing, “ok.”

“i miss you. i do. i don’t expect you to miss me but i just want to say it,” pausing to hiccup, “soobin helped me realize some things, saying some crap like we deserve each other.” you chuckle as you recall his words, “maybe he said it because bad people deserve bad people. maybe he said it because in our own fucked up lives, we’re the only ones who can understand each other. i did a lot of thinking and i’ve come to the conclusion that we don’t. because if we stay together, we can’t move on. we can’t grow. we can’t become good people, no matter how much we want it. that’s life. sometimes, no matter how much we want something, no matter how much we wish on stars or pray, some things just aren’t meant to be.”

“y/n, get some rest…”

“wait, i’m not done. you already can tell i’ve been drinking and to be honest i have been, for a while. i do it,” starting to choke up and sniffle, “because it helps me forget. even if it’s just for a minute that i can forget what happened, i’ll drink as much as it takes. i’ll grow out of it, eventually. i know i will, but for now… i have to do what i have to do. i’m sure you can relate.” you laugh again, getting more drowsy. you bring your legs up, hugging your knees. faintly, the sounds of heeseung’s snores play from your phone. you smile to yourself, “i wish you were here, singing me a lullaby. i don’t know when you fell asleep but goodnight. take care of yourself.”

cuddled up in his bed, heeseung hears you hang up. he lets you believe he didn’t hear what you said. he knows the reality of it all and the weight that you both are carrying. knowing that you won’t check your phone for the rest of the night, he sends you a quick text: bookstore, saturday, noon. goodnight.

as he turns off his phone to try to fall back asleep, he sees his reflection in the black screen. he sees his puffy, red eyes and his tear-stained cheeks. the end of it all is coming and finally, you two are ready for it.

x. love song

seeing him in person is a good idea. clearing the air, letting it all out, getting closure. all good ideas, you hope. walking into the bookstore was a weird feeling. when you spot him sitting by the window, you quietly make your way over. he looks up at your new presence, his feet shuffling out of nervousness. you notice the glass of pear juice on the small coffee table in front of him, already half empty.

“hi,” he says like a whisper.

“hi,” you awkwardly respond. it’s unlike the two of you to not know how to start a conversation. you make your way onto the cushioned seat, letting yourself get comfortable to help ease the tension. you each avoid the other’s gaze, not knowing how to begin. you sigh and finally ask, “how have you been?”

“busy,” he says as he nods, “finally took up actual music lessons. thought it would be better to have someone who’s played piano and guitar professionally instead of trying to teach myself.”

you softly giggle, “that’s good. you’ve always loved music.”

“yeah… how about you?”

“same, busy. i got the t.a position i applied for like forever ago.”

“congrats! you still looking to become a teacher?”

“well, generally yeah. i was having my doubts before but i just fell back into it. finally being able to be there, present, and guiding others… that’s what i want.” you sit there across from him, watching him and taking it all in. the man in front of you is heeseung, but not the heeseung you knew. no, this is the better version of him. the version of him where he can focus on himself. the version of heeseung that’s glowing and happy and ready to take on the world. “so, look. there’s no easy or delicate way to put it but i think there are things we both need to get off our chests.”

“agreed. since it all happened—the fights, the breakups, the ambush interventions—we haven’t actually talked.”

“those interventions… they were silly but the guys did help me realize some things. we’re growing up. sure, i thought we had this plan of us graduating, getting married, having a family, settling down, growing old. we both wanted that type of life. sadly, it’s not what happened and we have to live with it.”

he lets out a chuckle, “heeseung and y/n: meant for each other and meant to be.”

“but not meant to last. what a bittersweet and poetic ending."

“it’s like people always say: right person, wrong time.”

“you know… you used to tell me that our love song was the soundtrack to the best life you could live.” you reach out and take his hand in yours, “i just,” pausing to take a deep breath and compose yourself, “i just want you to know… that if anything happens-”

he cuts you off with a quiet gasp, whispering your name with a shaky voice, “don’t.”

you shake your head and gently squeeze his hand, “if anything happens… if in the end, we don’t find our way back and it isn’t us, don’t think we ended on a bad note.” you drop your head as you chuckle lightly before continuing, “cause you were always on key.” you give him a small grin, trying your hardest to not make things worse by crying. “we were just playing different tunes.”

he pulls you in closer to him, placing his hands softly on your cheeks. “i always hated seeing you cry,” he says as he wipes away the tears on your face, not bothering about his own. he wraps his arms around you, holding you close for the last time. 

you stay there in his warmth, hearing him sniffle as he tries to hold back the falling tears. when you pull away, you tell him “i will always love you. maybe not in the way i thought i would but it’s still there.”

“maybe in our next life, it’ll be the right time.” with that, he leaves a kiss on your forehead, leaves the bookstore, and leaves your life. your duet that worked in perfect harmony now playing a beautiful cadence—two wandering artists, free to fill your own wretched worlds with new melodies, the bliss and tranquility of it all. the hope that maybe one day, you’ll be in each other’s lives again is enough.

[mystery-star]

Waiting for you - Spock

Pairing: Spock x reader (gender neutral)

Warnings: mentions of injury and death

Words: 1838

Star Trek universe: AOS

A/N: Just a lil thing I wrote because I haven’t written (at least for Spocko) in ages. And didn’t feel like writing on a series.

-

“She’s here. She’s here” you heard someone shouting beside you and looked around and finally you could see the Enterprise approaching in one of many tunnels above you. You smiled and stepped forward a little and waited for the crew to dismount. When you saw the first of them, your smile got broader and you got onto your tiptoes to look out for your husband. Not many people of the Enterprise had someone waiting for them and those who did seemed overjoyed. It made you look down for moment because you had a feeling that Spock wouldn’t greet you like others greeted their loved ones. Finally, you could see him and slightly raised your hand, hoping he’d see you. When he did, he came straight towards you, stopping half a meter in front of you

“(Y/N)” he said “What brings you to Yorktown?”

“I’ll give you three guesses” you replied and just threw yourself around his neck “I’ve missed you, Spock” you breathed against his skin and he hugged you back slightly.

“Am I therefore right to conclude that you came here in order to see me during my shore leave?”

“Right” you let go of him but only that you could kiss him. He cupped your face and kissed you back. At some point his hand found yours, slowly stroking his first two fingers against yours. But then he pulled away from you all of a sudden, just holding your hand. You turned around and saw two older Vulcans behind you.

“Commander, might we have a word? Alone?” you wanted to ask why you couldn’t come when Spock threw a glance at you and squeezed your hand

“Do you mind?”

“Just be quick” you pecked his cheek “I’ll be waiting for you, okay?” you handed him a keycard of the hotel where you had booked a room for you both. He gave a nod, then let go of your hand and followed the two men. With a sigh you looked after him and returned to the hotel, knowing he would be clever enough to find it when he was done.

But he only came when it was dark and you were already in bed, reading a magazine on your PADD.

“Have you been waiting with sleeping until I return?”

“Well, you got some days of shore leave, then I won’t see you for another two years. I want to use every minute with you that I can” he gave a nod and sat down on the bed, placing a device on the nightstand. “What did they want?”

“I will tell you in the morning”

“Alright” you put the PADD aside and stretched yourself a little before sitting up, crawling closer to him and wrapping your arms around him again, kissing him. “We now have better things to do, don’t you think?” he kissed you back and placed one of his hands in the small of your back, pulling you closer while he ran his other hand over the side of your face. After the kiss he leaned his forehead to yours and you bumped his nose with yours. “Did you have fun out there on the mission?”

“I have written and called you three times per week, as we have agreed on, and informed you about what you call ‘adventures’ and have also answered each question concerning them I was allowed to answer”

“Well yes but your last message was two days ago. I need a recap of the past two days. Or retell me your favorite mission. Doing it face-to-face is much better” you pecked his lips. He gave a nod, pulled you into his lap and started telling you how the Captain had attempted to make peace between two species that didn’t work out as planned. Then he went on to their arrival to Yorktown and suddenly his communicator beeped “Tell me that’s your private comm”

“It is not” he leaned forward to get it and you just wanted to stop him but let it happen with a sigh. Placing you back on the bed, he gave your hand a squeeze, took the comm, opened it and left the room. With a sigh you fell back on the bed, glancing to the PADD and considering if you should continue reading but then looked at the ceiling, repeating everything you had planned to do with Spock in the following days in your mind. Soon Spock returned and you sat up with a smile but his words ruined it “I must go”

“Go? Go where? Aren’t you on shore leave?”

“I am. However, there is a matter that requires my assistance”

“What is it?”

“I cannot tell you much but I must leave Yorktown”

“You’re shitting me”

“I do not joke”

“But… but… will you at least get that time off later on? How long will you be gone?”

“I suppose it should not take longer than 36 hours”

“Oh well…. Then you owe me yet another debriefing upon your return” he gave a nod, came closer to put his comm on his nightstand and pecking your forehead.

“Please make yourself a pleasant day tomorrow”

“Okay. And then I’ll be waiting here for you… again”

-

But Spock didn’t come home the evening or morning after he had left, so you decided to make yourself another nice day exploring another area of Yorktown. In the late afternoon, you suddenly heard how the station went on alert and after looking around you saw that a swarm of tiny ships tried attacking Yorktown. Around you everyone was in panic, screaming, rallying kids and running away while you stood there frozen, staring at the many little ships on the other side of Yorktown.

“We have to leave. Come. Now” someone next to you shouted, pulling on your arm

“Can we go somewhere safe? Like a… bunker?”

“A bunker on a Starbase?” the man started laughing slightly and shook his head.

“Or can we do something? Something to help? Is there a defense station or militia? Or help evacuate people?”

“That’s Starfleet’s business” as if on cue, there was an announcement, informing the public that there was an attack and that you should not panic. You let out a snort and watched how the people around you seemed to panic even more. You looked around and finally saw a security, officer, going over to him.

“Excuse me, Sir?”

“Don’t worry, we’ll all be safe, just stay calm and…”

“No, I wanted to ask if I can help something.”

“Help?”

“Yeah. Weapons, evacuate people or something” he looked at you, considered it a while then said he’d have to check it out. But before he could return, they managed to somehow blow up all the small ships. Somehow you couldn’t believe that this was everything and sure enough, there was another announcement informing the public that a great part of the ship had been destroyed but that three of them had gotten into Yorktown but that they still had the situation under control and would do everything to stop them. For some reason, you found that three ships hand entered Yorktown almost worse than the initial attack. Because you knew there probably wasn’t much you could do unless the ships came to that part of Yorktown, you sat down in a café, ordered a drink and watched the news on the big screen that gave a permanent update on the situation at the other end of Yorktown. Not even 15 minutes later, you heard that everyone was out of danger and the intruders had been rendered harmless. After a sigh, you finished your drink and then returned to the scene of the action, maybe there now was something you could help, like tidying up damage or helping the wounded. You stayed there and helped until it was dark and the volunteers were sent home, so you returned to the hotel. But you didn’t get far and the receptionist called you over.

“You are (Y/N) (Y/L/N), right?”

“That’s me, yeah”

“I have message for you, from a doctor Leonard McCoy”

“I know him. He’s the doctor on the Enterprise. What is this message about?”

“He lets you know, that your husband… Commander Spock will spend the night in Yorktown hospital”

“Ho-hospital? They’re back? What does he have? Is it bad? Can I visit him? When did they get back?”

“He only told me that so you know where your husband is and in case you wish to see him. I don’t know anything else” you nodded and with a thank-you you ran out of the hotel, to the hospital, where you had brought a few people earlier today. You went to a visitor station to register your visit and once you knew where your husband was and that he currently could be visited, you rushed to the elevator and then to his room. When you saw Spock lying in bed awake, you let out a deep breath and moved closer.

“Spock” you breathed, not sure what to say and having a hundred questions at the tip of your tongue. "How are you?” was the first you asked

“I am well, (Y/N). The doctors insisted I stayed the night to ensure that my condition does not become worse” you nodded and came closer, taking his hand, pressing a kiss to it as you sat down on the edge of the bed. To your delight, he squeezed your hand.

“What happened? To you, I mean?” he explained how on the mission his side was impaled by a piece of metal and that McCoy didn’t have the correct equipment to properly treat him. “At least you’re safe” you ran your free hand through his hair. “When did you even get back?”

“4.2 hours ago”

“That was… that was when the attack happened” he agreed and said it was them who played a great role in stopping them. “Oh so that big ship that destroyed the central plaza was you, the Franklin?”

“Indeed”

“And what about the Enterprise?”

“She has been destroyed”

“Oh no. What about the crew? Are they safe?”

“We have not yet been able to ascertain who has survived the attack on the Enterprise and who lost their life, however, I am certain that at least 350 people have survived”

“Out of 428 that’s still a lot that could have died”

“Besides, I also know of at least 16 casualties from the crew” you gave a nod

“And what now? I mean is your mission over? The Enterprise is gone”

“We do not know yet but it is certain that we will remain her for longer than the originally scheduled 12 days of shore leave”

“Well, then we got more time to do something as long as we’re here. And I get to see you longer. Ha that visit was worth it” you leant down to kiss his forehead. “Now we just gotta make sure you’ll be on your feet as soon as possible because I have lot planned for the next days”

-

Taglist: @softsapphicideals

[chrisevansszn]

Valleys & Mountains🏔

1.2k words

You straighten your back as you sat up on the couch. You and Chris are newlyweds but are waiting for your marriage counseling session to begin. You love Chris to the moon and back…you think. Chris is on one side and you all the way on the other. There is a lot of work to do. The therapist walks in and introduces herself. Her name is Dr. Grant, young woman….she better know what she is doing. Let’s just go back and recap on how we even got here?!

***

You and Chris have been officially married for 8 months. You dated for two years before he proposed. Everything seemed to be great until that day. You were sitting at home when your phone rang. The number you didn’t recognize but you answered it any way.

“Hello”

“Hi, is this Y/N?”

“Yes, may I ask who’s speaking?”

“My name is Cree.” It sounded like a young woman. It had to be.

“Ok, how can I help you?”

“I’ve been sleeping with your husband, and I wanted to be honest and let you know.”

You thought you heard wrong.

“I’m sorry. Say that again.” You stared off not really focusing on anything.

She repeated herself. She said the affair has been going on for about three months. She described Chris, his tattoos, his job, she said things she had no business knowing! You sat back in your chair. You could feel the anger flowing through your body. You kept calm and composed so that you could get all the proof you needed.

“What proof do you have? I need something tangible.”

“Check your phone.”

It was a photo of her and Chris laying a bed together. HE HAS FUCKED UP!!!

“Did you know he was married.”

“No, I did not.”

You could feel the tightness in your throat. You were about to start balling.

She told you everything. How they met, Chris approaching her, and so on.

“So why come to me now? It sounds like after a bit you were aware that he had a wife. Why did you continue?”

“I was stupid. I thought he would leave you and be with me.”

You paused. You had to or all hell was about to break loose.

“Cree…thank you for the call. I’ve got a lot to process.”

You hang up and go back to the photo. She immediately sent more. Chris embracing her at some restaurant, and she sent a fucking photo of them kissing! As mad as you want to be at her, you know you can only confront Chris.

You paced back and forth in your living room waiting for him to get home from work. You pour a glass of wine while you are waiting. You finally heard his car pull into the garage. Okay…how do you go about this? Act crazy the moment he walks in…pretend everything is ok then BAM….photos. You could hear his steps come down the hall.

“Y/N….baby I’m home.”

“Baby my ass..”

He walks into the living room; you are sitting in the recliner. He walks up to you and kisses you on the cheek. You pull away instantly, he can feel something is right.

“How was your day?”, Chris asked.

“Interesting.”

“Oh yeah. What happened?” He begins to loosen up his tie around his neck.

“Cree called me today and told me about the affair you are having with her.”

Chris eyes almost jumped out of his head. That’s all you needed to know. You went in to slap him, but he caught your hand.

“Y/N WAIT LET ME EXPLAIN!”

You swung with your left hand and connected to his face.  He instantly grabbed your other arm and held tight. You’ve never laid a hand on Chris…ever.

“Y/N STOP IT!”

“FUCK YOU CHRIS! WE HAVENT EVEN BEEN MARRIED A YEAR AND YOUR ALREADY CHEATING!”

He pushes off of you a little and let go of your arms.

“I didn’t mean for it to go that far. I promise. You are my world!”

He runs his fingers through his hair. He is about to lose it.

“I’m your world?! That’s a fucking joke. Explain Christopher…explains to me how you met a woman and left the need to stick your dick in her.”

Chris hands are shaking so had. He keeps backing up away from you.

“EXPLAIN DAMN IT!”

“Ok.” He takes a deep breathe. “I met her at a work conference. We were just sitting and chatting up at the hotel bar and exchanged numbers. I was so stupid.”

“So, you’re just walking around the earth with no wedding ring on? She said she didn’t know you were married until recently.”

“I broke it off with her last week. I told her I could not do it anymore. I wanted to be with you forever and I knew I was fucking up.”

“Did you have sex with her the first night you met her?”

“No, I did not.”

“So, you pursued the bitch?”

“Y/N please. She only did this because I broke it off with her!”

“Did you tell her you were going to leave me for her?”  You could feel your fist ball up.

Chris just looked at you. He didn’t want to answer.

“DID YOU????”, you screamed out.

“Yes.”, he whispered.

You lunged at him again. You both tussle for a few seconds, but the then grabs you in his arm and held you from behind.

“Let go of me!”, you screamed!

“Baby please! Whatever I have to do to fix this please let me!”

Chris finally let you go, and you turned around.

“It’s best for you to go get your shit from our bedroom and move it to another. I will be filing for divorce from you.”

“Baby, are you serious? Whatever it takes for me to save this marriage, I will do it. I promise, please I am begging!”, Chris pleads to you damn near on his knees. His face is turning red, voice is shaky, and tears are forming in his eyes.

“Go get your shit out of the room now. Do not talk to me, look my way, or anything.”

You walked to the kitchen to our you up a stiff drink. Fuck it…a couple of shots. You ended up downing some Absolute vodka. You leaned over the sink with your mind racing a mile a minute. You finally heard Chris walk upstairs to the primary room.

What to do? You love Chris, but you don’t think he can correct this. An affair for an entire three months. How did you miss all the signs? You have sex with him a few times a week, you tried to be the best wife you could…how did your marriage get here?

***

“Chris & Y/N, thank you for coming in today. This is a place where you can express exactly how you feel. Now, who wants to go first?”

“I will.”, Chris said. “I think a divorce is the best option.”

Your head swiveled so fast in his direction. The nerve of that son of that bitch!

[aelingalathyniusrailme]

Gwynriel- when Gwyn confesses to Azriel about being in love with him but he thinks he isn't good enough for her so he runs away, but while he's gone Gwyn gets injured and then he confesses too

It's been a couple weeks since I got this one but I finally got around to it. I hope you enjoy it and please stick around for the ending it's my favorite part. also if anyone likes it and wants to send me more prompts my inbox is always open

‘hold me until we are all but dust’

“Azriel,” she held his hands in her own, gripping them as she looked into his eyes. “Azriel, I think-no I know you are my mate. And I know that you struggle with conveying your feelings so you don’t have to say it back, but I couldn’t live with myself if you didn’t know that,” She felt her eyes begin to water and she huffed out a laugh. “That I love you, and I didn’t think it would ever have been possible for me to feel this way after what had happened to me. And god did I want it, but only in my wildest dreams and fantasies did I think that even a fraction of how I feel now, was possible. But you, my shadowsinger, have exceeded any expectation I could have ever hoped for and I know there will never be anyone else who can make me feel as safe, has been my friend, challenges me, and infuriates me as much as you do.”

“Gwyn,” he breathed.

She delicately cupped his face in her palms, gently wiping a tear away. Gwyn whispered, “you idiot I love you.”

“Gwyn,” he said again. So rarely was he at a loss for words but it seemed he could say nothing more than her name. The words were there, screaming at him to be voiced, pleading, begging, and yet he could do nothing. He didn’t deserve her, in what world was this beautiful, spirited female allowed to love him. Everywhere Azriel went, he hurt and destroyed but he would not hurt her. Gwyn deserved to thrive, to grow, but he was all darkness, shadows, and endless voids. He was where light and warmth went to die. “Gwyn,” he said one last time and opened his mouth to voice every incoherent thought he had, in his mess of a mind. But once again no words came.

“Hey.” she forced him to look at her. “Hey. I am not asking for you to say anything back and when you are ready you will tell me but I just needed you to hear it. Ok?” she turned away from him but not before he caught the slight look of disappointment. She didn’t look back.

Azriel stood there minutes after Gwyn had left, stunned. He had hurt her, he had let her down and the thought of ever doing that again left him hollow and with an urge to break something.

Subconsciously he felt his shadows begin to wrap and weave around him, folding Azriel into his own darkness.

He opened his eyes to find himself at the gates of rosehall. The house was in a corner of the night court where few lived. Outside the limits of velaris, but far from the horrors of the court of nightmares. Azriel’s mother loved it but he knew sometimes she felt suffocated from the simplicities of what life had become. His mother craved adventure and excitement, the domestic life was one she still wasn’t fond of.

Az hadn’t been planning a visit but might as well see his mother since he was here. He knocked on the gates, the magic recognizing his own, and opened.

She was sitting on a rocking chair, knitting and quietly humming to herself. She was only a few centuries older than himself but illness caused her to look much older.

She sighed not looking at him. “What did you do?”

“Can’t I just want to see my beautiful mother every once in a while?”

She rolled her eyes seeing through his bullshit. “You do see me, sometimes I think you’re here too often. So I ask again, what did you do?” Maybe it was magic, some gift, maybe it was just mother’s intuition but somehow she always knew.

He kissed her on the head and began to make way to the room he kept in the house. “The sickness is finally getting to you, you’re making things up.”

She snorted, “Hunny you’ll know the day this thing beats me but it sure as hell won’t win without a fight.”

“Of course mom.”

“It’s alright I’ll get it out of you eventually.” She winked at him as he winnowed to his room. Azriel heard her mumble “won’t even use the damn stairs anymore.” and he chuckled softly.

Within seconds Azriel collapsed on his bed, closing his eyes to ignore the tug he felt within him. He wasn’t running, he was doing what was best for Gwyn. That’s a lie, the subtle hiss sent shivers up his spine. Azriel shut his shadows out too. She didn’t need him and he didn’t deserve her.

He didn’t sleep, when he slept he was drowning in nightmares. For five days he cared for his mother, catching up on the occurrences of each other's lives. Azriel was careful to avoid Gwyn in his recaps. And every day he could tell his mother was growing more and more concerned. He desperately wanted to be with her, he could feel the pull in every inch of his body but Azriel had always been stubborn, so he stayed with the knowledge that what he was doing was the right thing.

He felt his mother watching him, studying him until finally, she spoke. “Az is this extended visit about that girl.” she paused trying to think. “The redhead? For the love of god this stupid illness, I can’t remember her name, Gwyn? Was it?”

Azriel’s eyes flitted away giving her confirmation her guess was right. His mother sighed, grabbed her cane, and began to stand. He got up to help her only to be met by a dagger-eyed glare that said you help me and I cut your arms off. She was several inches shorter than him but as his stubborn mother hobbled over to him, she held out an arm for him to take. He took it without hesitation but the question remained on his lips.

“We are going for a walk.” she beat him to it.

They walked in silence, ever so often her arm clutching his tightly as if she were about to fall. Memories flashed of his mother before she was sick. When she could not stay still for more than a moment, even centuries-old and still she had carried a youthfulness with her that could not be replicated.

As if she could read his thoughts she raised her eyebrows, “I’m fine.”

“I would never suggest you weren’t.” Although they both knew she wasn’t fine, denial was bliss for those with limited days. His mother studied Azriel as he looked around at the plethora of roses covering the entirety of the gate.

“I hate them.” she scrunched her nose in disgust at the bright flowers as Az snorted.

“Then why don’t you do something about them.”

“They were here before me and they will be here long after me, what right do I have to disrupt them from their home?” She paused. “To the displeasure of my eyes and nose, I will not be moving them.”

They continued their leisurely walk until they finally reached a well. It was a considerable distance outside the boundaries of what was her home. She began to fill up the bucket with water from the well. It was a slow process for his mother's stubbornness forbade him from helping her. When she was finished she grabbed the pail and walked away from him leaving Azriel behind.

“Wait-”

She turned to face him. “Close your mouth, my dear, you wouldn’t want to swallow a fly,” and kept walking.

“Are we not-” he fumbled for his words. “Going to talk about her.”

“Well, I came out here for some fresh water.” She looked at him innocently. “Would you like to talk about her?” His damned mother played him. Her gaze softened.

“I may be sick but I know how to get my son to talk to me even when his own stubbornness refuses.”

He sighed. “I will never doubt you again.”

She sat down on a bench a few feet from the well and motioned for him to join her. “Now tell me what happened.”

He was quiet for a second before he spoke. “Gwyn, she, she told me she loved me.”

“And do you love her back?”

Without hesitation, Azriel responded softly. “Yeah, I do.”

“Then why are you here with me and not with her.” Azriel looked away. “Is this female your mate?” He nodded. “And you’re in love with her?” He nodded once again. “The female you have been looking for your entire life wants to be with you and you ran away?”

Azriel ran his fingers through his hair. “It is more complicated than that.” “Why?”

“Because- because I don’t deserve her. Gwyn, she’s full of this light and she has a spirit unlike anyone I have ever met and I know that I cannot give her what she needs.”

His mother appeared speechless for a moment before bursting out into a fit of laughter. He scowled at her. “You men are fools.” It was Azriel’s turn to be speechless. “Listen to me, is she worth it?”

“God yes.”

“Then it is not your place to decide what she needs. I have never been one to sugar coat and I won’t start now, there is a chance that this may crash and burn. But you have to decide if the possibility of pain and rejection is worth letting yourself be happy. Gwyn is telling you that she wants to take the leap with you and that regardless of whatever you may think, she believes you are worth it.”

Azriel stared straight ahead as his mother spoke. But she forced him to look at her. “Azriel, it’s not selfish to want to be happy. And this female makes you happy.”

At that moment Azriel felt a lurch in his chest. A tug stronger than any he’s felt. It was intense, it was dizzying, it took over every one of his senses. “Gwyn. it’s Gwyn she needs me.”

His mother gave him an incredulous look. “Then what the hell are you doing here? Go to her.” It wasn’t a suggestion, it was an order. Azriel didn’t think, he just let his shadows wrap around him and instinct took over.

He opened his eyes and looked around. His eyes caught a flash of red, he bolted and found Gwyn laying on the ground limp. She was bleeding. No No No. Too much blood. His heart was a drum in his chest. Azriel, as gently as he could, lifted her into his arms. There was an arrow sticking out of her chest, just barely missing her heart. “gwyn. Gwyn. GWYN.” Finally, her eyes opened slowly. Her lips were purple and her skin was a sickly shade of white. He ripped off his own coat and wrapped it around her.

“Az” she croaked and let out a groan of pain. “It seems the Illyrians don’t like me very much.” She whispered each word a struggle to speak. Her eyes drifting closed.

“Shhh don’t speak don’t speak. Gwyn, my love, I need you to keep your eyes open.”

“Take it out.” she huffed.

“If I do that you’ll bleed out and I need you to live.” In his mind, Azriel screamed for Rhys. Over and over he thought the words. Gwyn’s bleeding out I can’t move her, we’re deep in Illyrian territory please come quick.

Seconds passed and it took every inch of concentration for Gwyn to keep her eyes open. Azriel watched her internal struggle, knew the feeling of being on the edge, how it would be so easy just to close your eyes. To rest.

“Please Gwyn” his voice broke. “I need you to- I need you.”

He just barely heard the words. “Why?”

“Because-” Azriel took a deep breath. “You make every moment better. Because I have lived 500 years and yet you still find ways to surprise me. Because I have never known what it meant to love and be loved as fiercely and absolutely as we love each other. You never gave up on me, not once, because you are stubborn and determined and I could walk this world for millennia more and I know without a doubt in my mind I could never find anyone like you. Even if you weren’t my mate they would never and could never compare to you.” He took another breath. “And I know that I hurt you but I need you to live to be mad at me, live to scream at me for all the things we both know I did wrong, live to hurt me as I hurt you, I don’t care just please Gwyn. I need you to live.”

“Say it.” Azriel laughed a shaky, desperate, nervous laugh.

“You idiot, I love you.” He closed his eyes, pressing his forehead to hers, and held her close to him. Azriel had never been religious but in that moment he begged and pleaded and prayed to the mother, to the cauldron, to whoever was up there watching that this was not the end. This couldn’t be the end.

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (April 9/2021) - Interrogation

Tubbo does some interrogating, hoping to find out the truth about the missing nuke. Foolish joins in.

The mysterious messages continue.

---

VOD LINKS:

HBomb94

Foolish

Tubbo

TommyInnit

Philza

Captain Puffy

Ranboo

---

- HBomb makes his way from the savannah village back to the main area. He explores around Kinoko and meets with Niki, who shows him her underground city.

- After Niki gets a grass block from an Enderman, HBomb mentions the glitched snow block he got a while back on September 24th, near his parkour challenge: the rarest block in the game. He and Niki leave the city to visit it. 

- They reminisce about how HBomb joined the day of Schlatt’s inauguration, and the subject comes up of HBomb’s other characters.

- HBomb logs out and Thevir logs in. Thevir has arrived in the Dream Land. Rumors say, if you go to a special dream land, a green blob gives you more money than usual. Niki shows him around.

- Tubbo needs a way to interrogate people to figure out where the nuke went. He gathers resources to build.

- He remarks that it seems like the Egg is dying away.

SOMEONE NEEDS

TO TELL HIM

- Tubbo takes supplies from Eret and creates the desk of interrogation. He says he needs to scare people so that they take him seriously. 

HE MUST GO TO

- Tubbo emphasizes that this room is for interrogation, not torture. He tries out different shaders to see what would look scariest

THE NORTH

- Tubbo turns on some acid shaders. He walks around the mansion and remarks that it’s even more cursed looking to the north.

- He goes down to the north gate to see what Foolish is up to and turns off the shaders. He decides to interrogate Foolish and tells Foolish to put all his belongings in two barrels.

- Tubbo leads Foolish to the interrogation room and tells him that he’s lost something valuable and needs Foolish to be honest with him.

IF ANYONE CAN

- When the nuke went missing, Foolish was online. Tubbo tells him only three people were on the server that day. Foolish says he was probably just building that day. 

- Tubbo tells him that the missing “firework” is a very big deal. He asks, if Foolish were to steal something, what his motives would be

- Foolish says he’s just building for people. Tubbo asks about the other kingdom that Foolish is building for, and mentions that Foolish is a citizen of Snowchester. If this other kingdom wanted something of Snowchester’s, would Foolish mention anything?

- Foolish says no. He wouldn’t mention the vault or tell the people of the other kingdom about Snowchester’s “fireworks.” He only mentions things concerning the build.

- Tubbo asks if Foolish has ever seen any strange books. A very distinct book. One with a list of instructions. Foolish says no.

- Tubbo says it was more than just a valuable firework. He thinks Foolish is innocent and tells Foolish to walk with him. He leads Foolish to the confidential nuke factory and shows him.

- Foolish asks if it couldn’t have been stolen before. Tubbo tells him that the nuke was there five minutes before, and Foolish was working on the mansion.

- Foolish insists, though, that he has no motive to steal a nuke, as he’s a pacifist. Tubbo trusts him.

- Who would steal a nuke? Who would be an enemy of Snowchester?

HEAR THIS

- Foolish says there’s no one who seems to be on the war path right now. 

- Tubbo tells him that he needs Foolish to gather reconnaissance on all the places he’s been building for. Foolish mentions that there’s another place that he’s been building for, but it’s a secret...there are too many voices, ears and eyes that could be listening. He’ll have to tell Tubbo later.

- Foolish suggests the Eggpire. He tells Tubbo about this event that the Eggpire is holding, a “bury the hatchet” kind of party. He, Sam and Puffy have been invited so far, but there will be more invitations.

- Whoever stole the nuke, they took a scuffed one. One with a dead man’s snitch. It leaks and poisons nature.

- Foolish asks about Sam. What about the prison guard? Tubbo says that Sam’s been couped up. Foolish says he’s worried about Sam, though. Tubbo tells him they’ll kill him someday, put him out of his misery. It wouldn’t be him.

- Tubbo and Foolish return to the interrogation room.

- Is there anyone who lives far away, where if they stored the nuke near their home, they wouldn’t know? Sam lives far away. HBomb lives far away, and Foolish built a mansion for him too, in the savannah. They should pay H a visit.

- They chase after HBomb (Thevir). They spot Niki at the Community House and think it’s H, following her through the Nether to the underground city.

I STASHED A

- They reach the city and see Niki and Thevir together. The two run, and Tubbo and Foolish pan out to look for them.

- Tubbo and Foolish speak with Niki, who insists that she doesn’t know where HBomb is. Niki says H isn’t here, Thevir is here.

- Niki explained that earlier, she showed H around her city and they went to the L’cast area, at which point HBomb’s game crashed and Thevir joined, and Niki has been showing him around.

- Tubbo and Foolish stumble across Thevir hiding in a corner and talk to Niki, who tells them it’s Thevir and not HBomb.

- Tubbo and Foolish tell Niki they lost a weapon and try to waterboard Thevir. (Thevir says that he’s been tortured before and he’s into this, so it isn’t particularly effective)

- Tubbo and Foolish leave. Thevir could possibly have connections to H.

BOOK

- They head to HBomb’s house in the savannah. Foolish asks who else has been to Snowchester? Puffy, Ranboo -- Tubbo says that wouldn’t be possible -- Sam, Fundy...

- They make it to the mansion. Tubbo asks what direction it’s in -- they find it’s east of Snowchester. They search around.

IT HAS INSTRUCTIONS

- Foolish and Tubbo listen to chat to search places. Foolish says they’re all saying to go north, but he doesn’t know why. Tubbo doesn’t think they should go north.

- They think through more possibilities as they run back through the Nether. Quackity? No, Tubbo says he’s on good terms with Quackity. They have mutual respect.

HE NEEDS TO

- Does Tubbo have any enemies? Tubbo mentions that Phil isn’t the biggest fan of him due to the ankle bracelet, but Phil doesn’t really care.

- Tubbo suggests they go to L’manburg. He’s trying to think of past relations. Who were the enemies of L’manburg?

Dream, Technoblade, and Alivebur

- Would someone take the nuke for money or for power? 

Tubbo: “The power. Everything on this server is about power, Foolish.”

- They reach L’manhole.

- Eret? Foolish says that when he spoke with Eret last, he was looking to a clean start.

Tubbo: “There are some benefits to knowing your insides and out around your country.”

- Tubbo leads Foolish down to the old underground library and panic bunker. They look through the chests. There are still bits of yellow and black concrete, blackstone... Original pieces of the walls.

- He takes Foolish through the tunnel to Pogtopia. Foolish remarks that he’s never been.

Wilbur and Tommy split off during the reign of Manberg. Tubbo built this tunnel to Pogtopia, but it was eventually found out.

- They mention that things have been quite...quiet recently.

- Tubbo shows Foolish the water drop escape into the tunnel, mentioning that he used it to escape death many times.

- They reach Pogtopia.

Foolish: “When you see this, do you see this as happy or sad memories?”

Tubbo: “Conflicting memories.”

- Tubbo shows Foolish the old pit. It’s dark, the lights are out. There’s the old potato farm that Tubbo made for Technoblade. They reminisce about Tubbo and Antfrost being taken hostage.

- They head back.

WAKE UP!

- Tubbo explains to Foolish that he built the bunker before the tunnel to Pogtopia. He shows the tunnel through which Tommy and Wilbur escaped during the inauguration.

- Foolish says it seems like L’manburg was a nice little place. Tubbo shows Foolish all the various escape routes he used. Dream used to hunt him down during the first L’manburg War for independence.

- Foolish can’t imagine it. There were so many little skirmishes that used to happen. Tubbo shows him the old surface entrance to Pogtopia.

- Tubbo leads him over to Technoblade’s old secret base. A significant part of history -- the original vault.

They find that some of the chests still have supplies that haven’t been taken yet.

- Tubbo patches it up a bit

Tubbo: “This is not how this place deserves to be remembered.”

- Foolish asks -- was this a revolution, a rebellion? Tubbo says it was a reclaiming. The revolution.

HE MUST!

- Foolish and Tubbo make it back to the crater. Foolish wonders if there would ever be a community like this again. Tubbo doesn’t think so. Everything’s too complicated now, everyone’s too split apart.

Tubbo: “So all we have now is memories.”

Foolish: “Well, we could always try to make new memories.”

Tubbo: “Yeah, but it won’t be the same.”

- Foolish tells Tubbo that Bad and the others have said that they can start cleaning up the Blood Vines.

- Tubbo leads Foolish down the Prime Path, asking whether he knows who built each of the builds along the route. Tubbo tells him who built each one.

- Tubbo thinks the Final Control Room is now gone.

- He shows Foolish his and Tommy’s old nuclear war bunker.

- They then return to Snowchester and the interrogation room. They haven’t narrowed down the suspects.

WAKE UP!!!!!!

- Foolish asks, what if the nukes were never really stolen, but just moved to a different part of Snowchester?

- Tubbo tells Foolish the mansion is north of the facility. They need to pause their investigation for the time being. 

- Tommy does a birthday stream

- Tommy tells Tubbo that he doesn’t think Ranboo is right for him, and getting married at 17 was a bad idea.

- Ranboo joins the call.

- Tommy leads Tubbo into the ruins of Tubbo’s old house to give him some relationship advice. He thinks Tubbo should rebuild his house and move out.

- He then takes Tubbo to his “secret place.” Ranboo’s just there in the call. He asks where all the Egg has been going. He takes Tubbo to Fundy’s house, where he’s been keeping his things.

- Tubbo gets stuck in a cobweb

- Tommy wants to create a proper vault for his things. Drista gave Tommy many seeds.

- They go to see if the barrier block staircase is still there. 

- Tommy wonders what a good place to hide things would be. He mentions Pogtopia.

- Tubbo leads him to L’manhole. Ranboo appears and gives Tommy a Totem of Undying for his birthday.

- They go down to the tunnel. Tommy tells Ranboo to tell him what problems he and Tubbo are having as they reach Pogtopia.

- Tommy starts mining a room into the wall and puts his riches in a chest. He asks Ranboo to talk about his feelings. 

- They ask Sam for help with a redstone door and talk about TNT cannons. Maybe they could launch one at the prison to get to Dream. Sam comes to Pogtopia. He gives Tommy a few stacks of TNT for his birthday.

- They ride the railway back to L’manburg.

- They try to blow up the POG2020/ASS2020/CRY sign and in the process explode pretty much everything but. Tommy dies and respawns a million blocks away. He can’t break the bed due to mining fatigue. The totem was used up, he just died again and lost all his things.

- The CRY sign is now the Y7 sign

- They decide to work on clearing off Ponk and Punz’s towers of the Blood Vines. Here are some of the more interesting quotes that came up...

“My sacrifices are boneless, man, just like the wings.” - Ranboo

“Moist is just wet without the commitment.” - Ranboo

“God, why did you invent impotence?” - Tommy

“Who’s the god of English?”  “Shakespeare?”

“The mouth sounds are the reason why we can’t remember!” - Ranboo

“How do you reckon you’ll die?” - Tubbo

“Volcano.” - Tommy

- Afterwards, they head over to Ranboo’s house. The instant Phil logs on, Tommy logs off.

- Phil, Ranboo and Tubbo hang out at the Arctic.

- Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson wishes Tommy a happy birthday and tells him to drink tequila.

- Ranboo fills a whole barrel full of totems.

---

Upcoming Events:

- The Red Banquet

- Quackity’s lore stream on Monday

- Quackity’s business opening

- Dream’s lore video

- Ranboo’s lore stream

[roger-that-cap]

meet me in the gardens

summary: being the widow of a decently wealthy lord and sitting on a large plot of land automatically meant that you were a candidate for the program that you couldn’t say not to; the hosting. you had to sponsor a knight and keep them in your home for an entire year, which was troublesome enough on its own. but you never expected your knight to be a woman, and you certainly didn’t expect to have a full on illegal love affair with her, either. 

warnings: lots of emotions, feelings, slightly cynical and bitter reader- she’s honestly just being a realist, we are chugging forward, did not check for typos, format could be fucked up bc i’m posting from my phone quite literally minutes before i clock in- PATHETIC LMAO

word count: 2.7k

this is a short chapter by my standards, but it felt long to me because of the things in it??? this is part five! all other parts can be found on my masterlist, it’s my pinned post!

“What’s got you smiling like that?” Wanda asked while she tied your corset, not even needing to ask whether it was too tight or loose. You looked up in your vanity and immediately tried to wipe your smile away, but it was too late. She knew you better than anyone, and she had yet to see a thoughtful smile on your face, ever. Pietro, who had caught you going back inside the previous night, caught on to the fact that you looked more carefree, and that you just seemed to look like you were carrying around less. 

“Nothing.” 

“Hmm,” Wanda hummed, an entertained look on her face. Something told you that she already had an idea of what was going on, even though there was no way she could have. Besides, you hardly even knew what was going on. “I’ll ask again later.” She looked you in the eyes through the mirror, a slightly mischievous smile on her face. “Maybe then you’ll tell the truth,” she said, flicking you on the side of the head, and then letting it rest.

§§

Natasha was out in the village doing whatever it was the knights did one night, and she was planning on spending the night at a bed and breakfast before coming back in the morning. As disheartened as you were about not being able to see her for your stargazing, you were partly glad for it. You missed being with the twins. 

You had dinner with them alone, sitting and laughing about old memories and scheduling times to make new ones together. You loved the way you could be with them. Your laughter was allowed to go over the volume of a giggle without them looking at you like you had grown seven heads, your silverware were allowed to take a tumble onto your plate with a clatter without a second glance, and you were allowed to use whatever language you pleased. You missed the comfort that you felt with them, the comfort that your brain and the part of you that would always be the farm girl felt with them. 

“And Pietro chased him all the way off, you should have seen how terrified he was,” Wanda recapped, and you couldn't help but grin at Pietro, who was sipping wine with his charming grin. “That boy will never lift another skirt, I can assure you of that.” 

“I’m glad,” you mused, shooting Pietro a look that made him laugh. 

“Enough about me,” he said after swallowing a sip of his wine that was much more like a gulp. “We’re not going to talk about how you’ve been walking on the clouds for weeks now?” 

You nearly dropped your fork again. “What do you mean?”

“We’ve both realized,” Pietro said, motioning with his buttered knife towards his sister, who had a soft smile on her face as she observed your reaction. “That you have been significantly happier. Even with the circumstances-”

“Pietro,” Wanda hissed, but you just snorted and shook your head. 

“It’s like you found your own little pocket of happiness. We were worried about you, but, you’re doing alright.” Ever the blatant one out of the three of you, he leaned forward with his trademark smirk, eyes full of curiosity. “What do you know that we don't?” 

You hesitated for a second, mouth opening and closing twice as you grappled for anything to say, even a lie. And then, you settled on just shrugging your shoulders with a grin, shaking your head. “Honestly, Pietro, I know nothing. I don’t know anything.”

§§

Your heart was beating faster than normal as you looked at the woman next to you, your hand subconsciously itching closer to hers as you sat on the ground, ass on the blanket that you had brought out.  “I would like to… show you something.” 

It was probably the twentieth time that you and Natasha had met with each other, and still, you were entranced by her and everything that she did.  And you were entranced while you stared at her and waited for her answer, just a little nervous as to what she would say. 

As if she would ever say no to something you said. 

“Show me anything you’d like me to see,” Natasha urged on, and you fought back a smile. You stood up, and she did the same, and then you were picking up the blanket and walking side by side with her. It was quiet the entire way there as you walked in step with her, hand brushing against her every few steps and sending tingles down your arm every time it happened. 

The feeling that you got when she touched you made you feel both alive and scared to death. You weren’t stupid. You knew what you were steadily collecting more than friendly feelings for her, and that she may have been on the same page you were on. The game you were playing was a dangerous one, the risk threatening to swallow up the reward more and more by the day. 

You had known that being with her by yourself was bad judgement, ever since the first time you did it. Hell, the look you gave her the first time you met her was far from appropriate. Every single conversation that you had with her was a risk, and both of you knew it. And now that your soon-to-be husband was approaching, it was even more scandalous. No one knew and you hoped no one would ever find out, but hiding forever wasn’t a choice. But what would you be hiding if there were no true feelings? 

You hated yourself for falling for her and her pretty words. 

“I used to come here to escape,” you started, pulling yourself out of your thoughts, voice low as you passed the tree line to get into the thick of the woods. You narrowly missed stepping in a particularly muddy spot on the ground. “This was my spot, before I got the garden of course.”

“The woods?” 

“No, Nat,” you said, slightly amused as you stepped over a fallen branch. You smiled a bit when the sound of running water hit your ears.  “The stream.” 

You knew the exact second that she saw it, because her eyes widened and her breath hitched.  “That’s not a stream, that’s a river.”

“It’s the forgotten part of the main river,” you explained. “It’s much skinnier and more shallow, and it doesn't have nearly as much fish coming through, so people forget about it.” You looked towards her and saw how intrigued she was by it, so you judged her armor free body with a slight smirk. “What? Never seen running water?”

“I lived in the capital, all they had was the ocean. And even then I was never allowed on the harbor if I wasn’t selling clams, and I didn’t sell clams much.”

You felt silence start to grow between the two of you, so you said the first thing that you thought of. “You don’t look like a clam seller.” 

He looked away from the river and to you, a slight grin on her face even as she talked again. “And you don’t look like a petal kisser, blossom, but look where we are today.”

Your heart raced in your chest. “Blossom? Is that what you’re calling me now?” 

“It’s only payback for calling me ‘cherry’,” she said, and you stifled a laugh at the retired name, glancing up at the red hair that you had gotten inspiration from.  

“You didn’t actually mind it,” you said, looking off into the distance, only looking back at her when a warm hand slotted over yours. You blinked and looked down at your hands, which she had intertwined, and then back up at her again, only to see that she was staring straight ahead in the dark at the way the moonlight hit the water. 

“How could I?” She asked softly, a subtle breeze picking up.”You were the one saying it.” She looked at you, and in the dim lighting, you could have sworn that her eyes were saying, you can call me anything in the book, and I will own it proudly. And then, the look changed to something else, something less devoting, and something more passionate. It took you a few seconds to understand what the look meant, and before you could fully register it, she was leaning forward. 

A few seconds came and went where you could feel your heartbeat all over, and you tried to look somewhere other than in her eyes. You couldn't. “Don’t look at me like that.” When all Natasha did was tilt her head to the side and give you an even more intense version of the look, you let out a small sigh. “Please.”

“Why not?” 

She knew why. She knew why probably better than you did after living in the capital. She saw what happened firsthand to people who committed crimes, and those who committed second degree adultery. If you two did what you were wanting to do with your entire heart, you would fall right into that category. “I know where this is going,” you said softly, “and this won’t end well.” 

“Why not?” She asked again, and you turned your head to the side, shaking it slightly and closing your eyes. 

“Because, I’m about to get married,” you hissed, and though you didn’t mean to sound so angry, you did. Natasha was hardly affected. 

She lifted her arms and let them fall against her clothing with a soft slap that still echoed in the night. “You’re not married right now.” 

“But I will be, Natasha,” you said, gripping her hands and squeezing  them softly, begging for her to understand you. “What’s going to happen when I get married to a man who already has a streak for murdering his wives, and he finds out that I have feelings for you? He’ll kill me. He’ll kill you. And if he doesn’t, we’ll both be hung for adultery, after being put into torture camps for being… together as women.” 

“I’m not going to let anyone hurt you, Y/N, you know that.” The fervency in her tone nearly shocked you as she took a bold step forward, nearly surrounding you in her scent and energy. “I would never let anything happen to you.” 

“You’re too important for me to condemn to death and dishonor just because I have feelings for you. It was selfish of me to meet with you in the first place, but I can’t let myself do this. It’s a bad idea,” You said, voice hushed even though no one would have followed you. You were trembling, hand shaking more than anything else as you tried to understand how fast everything was moving; forward and backwards, sewing together and ripping apart all the same. If you were any more attentive to her expression, you would have seen the grin that lit up her face as your confession. “We were just about to cross a line. We’ve crossed quite a few dotted ones, but this one? It is bold and blaring.” 

“Blossom,” Natasha started, and you just shook your head and kept going. 

“And-and what we were just about to do? That crosses the line. We cannot.” 

“Do you really think my feelings for you are going to change depending on whether or not we kiss?” She asked, her voice slightly deeper than usual, almost sounding insulted. “You’re telling me to close my heart off from you, not to not kiss you. And you know that.”  

“What if I am?” You asked, eyes starting to burn with tears. “I’m doing it for the right reasons, Nat. I’m trying to save us from a world of hurt when reality finally sinks in.”

“That isn’t today.” She took another step forward and this time, you couldn't find the strength in you to step back. “And it isn’t tomorrow, and not even within the fortnight. You and I have something, and I know that you know it’s different. It’s special. We would be so stupid to ignore it, so stupid.” 

“I know, I know,” you said, voice tapering off into a whine as you slowly felt your resolve come apart, even though you thought it was stronger. “I’m sorry.”

 “You don’t have to apologize,” Natasha said after a few minutes of pure silence, and you found yourself exhaling. “I just wish things were different.” 

  “I know,” she said, and you turned to look up at the sky, tears threatening to come down on your cheeks. The stars seemed to twinkle and wink at you, talking amongst themselves about a future you had no idea about just yet. 

“Guess they’re never gonna line up,” you murmured to yourself, and then you heard Natasha grumble something from your side, and then she was coming closer, a barreling energy force full of passion and intent, and you knew exactly what she was coming for. For less than a split second, you thought about it. And then you turned your head and met her halfway. 

You would have been surprised by the passion in it if you weren’t just as desperate for the contact. You twisted in her arms, already wrapped around you as she drew you in close, closer than you had ever been with her, and the tears that were welling up before were now escaping for a different reason. Your lips were pressing into hers, moving fluidly and with an air of fervor that she matched equally. You felt wanted, and needed, and you felt loved. You felt the tenderness of the moment with every brush of her fingers on the back of your neck and with every rub of your back over the thin material of your night dress. 

Your legs were shaking, and she noticed before you did that you were getting weak in the knees. She held you up and pulled back slightly, just enough for you to feel her lips brush against yours while she asked if you were okay, like she wasn’t willing to take herself from you just yet. And honestly, you weren’t ready for her to leave you, either. You nodded, and she leaned in again, much slower, and then you had time to think. 

Her eyes weren’t the same shade they were when the sun hit them, they were almost an eerie pale blue, but they were still just as gorgeous to you, especially now that they were slanted with desire. Her hair wasn’t perfect like she somehow always managed or it to be, and you realized that it was because you had gotten a hand to run through it despite the way that she had previously held you like a lifeline. Her lashes were long, and you swore that she was close enough that you could count them. Her cheekbones were accentuated in the lighting, making her look like something straight out of a fairy tale, like a floating fae creature that led people to safety. In that moment, you could have sworn that she was the answer to every prayer you had ever whispered, to every question you had ever asked your etiquette teachers. In that moment, and in every moment to come, she was your ending and beginning, your creation and destruction, your sunrise and sunset. She was Natasha Romanoff, and in that moment, no wedding or murderous man even held a candle to the way you felt about her.

  What a beautiful person. 

“Now you’re looking at me strangely,” Natasha said, her voice quieter than you had ever heard it as the both of you treated over the moment carefully, trying not to break it and leave it in shambles. “What are you thinking about?” 

“How I’m going to have to pretend like this never happened in a few weeks,” you said softly, and part of you hated yourself for bringing up the bad part of the future so soon after you both had just lost all ties to reality. 

“You don’t have to,” she said, stroking your hair. “We can just keep doing what we’re doing, sneaking off in the night and coming back in the morning before anyone realizes. Nothing really has to change, I just want you to know that I… that we can be whatever you want us to be.” 

“As long as we’re in the confines of the garden walls.” 

“And now the woods,” Natasha said, and you couldn’t help but laugh in her arms. 

“And now the woods."

****

this is short, but i couldn’t see anything being tacked on to this. we’re at an important part, and from here it’s gonna be fun!! thank y’all for reading; if you liked it please drop a like and a reblog bc it makes my day!! comments also make me ascend y’all

tags!! : tags! : @teenwonder @saamwilscn @procrastinatingsapphictrash @fayhar @8plasma @slut-for-nat @dontmindmejustreading @swords-are-cool @200605chaeng @thescottishavenger @antidaytime @jenny-song @madamevirgo @natasha-danvers @blackxwidowsxwife​ @shycucumbersandwich @dailyavengering @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @ima-gi--na-tion @chickenhavewisdom

so sorry if i forgot anyone!!!!!

[the-tiger-with-a-computer]

Twisted Wonderland NoSleep Au

Heartslabyul Part 3

Recap: After getting the chestnuts needed to make the apology tart the group now meets up with Trey in the kitchen.

Grim: We got the chestnuts. Now we can make a delicious tart.

Trey: We still have to peel them you know. It will be a challenge, but I know we can do it.

After peeling all the chestnuts Trey tricked basically everyone but Yuu and Cater into thinking that oyster sauce was needed for the tart. Then Trey released that he made to much marrow paste. So it was up to Yuu, Grim, and Deuce to go to the school store to buy the ingredients to make more whipped cream. The following happens:

Deuce: Wow, this place is amazing. Do you think this place actually sells the items we need?

Yuu: I believe so. I mean, back home it was pretty common for all types of stores to carry items like protection charms, bleach, scrubbers, and especially religious items.

Deuce: I can kinda understand the charms and religious items part. But why carry bleach and scrubbers?

Yuu: In case someone gets killed.

Deuce was about to ask Yuu to elaborate when Sam, the owner of the school store, came in to welcome Deuce and Yuu.

Sam: Hey, my lost little demons, how goes it? Welcome to Mr.S ‘s Mystery Shop. What can I do for you today? A charm for uncharted lands? Mummy of an ancient king? Or how about some cursed tarot cards?

Deuce: We’d like the things written here.

Grim: And some cans of tuna.

Yuu: We have enough tuna back at the dorm, we don’t need anymore anytime soon. Anyway, got any protection charms?

Deuce: No. No tuna or protection charms. Let’s just get the things we came here to get.

Sam: What what? Whipped cream, eggs… Oh! A nice sweet line-up. Ok! Coming right up.

Deuce: Wow, he really does have them.

Yuu: Well, the school store does need to have everything a student would need. And then some.

Sam: Sorry ‘bout the wait. It’s a bit heavy, you got it? If you order now you can get a 1/100 size floating platter to carry your purchases for 30% off.

Grim: What’s that? Sounds cool!

Deuce: We’re good. Thank you. It’s time to go.

Grim: But I wanna hang around more.

Yuu: If we hurry, Trey might let us eat something sweet.

Grim: Then what are we waiting for! Let’s get a move on!

Sam: Make sure to come by again!

*However as Yuu left with Deuce and Grim Sam couldn’t help but wonder about the new student. After what he has heard about their homeworld from Crowley sparked curiosity in both him and his friends. If what he thinks is true. Then Yuu might have come from a much darker world then his friends.*

On the way back to the kitchen Deuce offered to carry Yuu’s bag for them. When Yuu said that it was all right Deuce insisted saying that he was used to carrying heavy things as he would help his mom carry groceries. And since he was the only boy, he would be stuck doing anything requiring strength.

Deuce: Ah, I’ve just been talking about myself.

Yuu: Well I think that helping your family is a wonderful thing. Where I’m from, family is very important and to betray their trust would be to go against everything that both monsters and humans believe in. Helping your family, and anyone you see as family, is considered a very honorable thing to do. To do them harm is considered one of the worst things a human can do.

Deuce: Wow. You must miss them very much then. But, the thing is…. I always made my mom…

Before Deuce could finish his sentence he bumped into someone, breaking some eggs in the process.

Grim: Ahh! The eggs!

Deuce: $h*t, half of the eggs are destroyed! There’s egg all over the bag!

Delinquent A: Hey you! Watch where you’re… wait… You’re the fools who wreaked the egg in my carbonara earlier.

Delinquent B: It’s you guys again. You can’t catch a break!

Deuce: You were the ones who jumped out from behind the corner. At lunch, it wasn’t like you couldn’t eat the egg anymore but you still came to pick a fight… Just now, you destroyed half our eggs.

Grim: Yeah, that’s right.

Delinquent A: And? You sayin’ it’s our fault?

*Yuu, knowing that this will not end well, and with no way to defuse the situation stepped away from them. But at the same time they were ready to step in and help Deuce if it came to that.*

Deuce: Yes. Please pay for the eggs. And please apologize to the chickens too.

Delinquent B: Hmmm? You’re getting all worked up over eggs.

Delinquent A: They didn’t hit the ground right? Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Delinquent B: We saved you the trouble of breaking them.

Yuu could stand by no longer and decided to step in. After all, they had enough of these two boys nonsense.

Yuu: Well, you did damage what we payed for. I expect to at least be paid back in the amount the broken eggs cost. Think you can do that?

Delinquent A: Don’t think you can boss us around, just because we broke a few eggs!

Yuu: This is more than just about a few eggs. As I recall you two have been causing quite a bit of trouble as of late. Would be a shame if the principal knew of your antics.

*This was very much true as Yuu had used the ghost camera to take pictures of both the good and the bad. Let’s just say that Yuu had quite a bit of dirt on these two in particular*

Delinquent B: Is that a threat I hear?

Yuu: A warning actually.

Delinquent A: Looks like we need to teach these two a lesson.

Deuce: HEY! You don’t get to make decisions for us! These eggs… instead of becoming a chick they were gonna make us a delicious tart!! And you sure as he!! wouldn’t EVER hurt my friends! You get it! Huh!?

Delinquent B: What’s this guy’s problem all the sudden!?

Deuce: If you don’t wanna pay for the six eggs you broke… I’ll just punch you six times instead.

Delinquent A: Whaaaaa!?

Yuu: Time to fight!

Deuce: Grit your teeth a$$ho!e$!!

Let’s just say that the two never stood a chance. With Deuce’s experience in fights and Yuu’s self-defense training, they wiped the floor with the two delinquents.

Delinquent A: T-these two are straight-up mad! That wasn’t just six hits! Lair!

Yuu: OH! So you want some more huh!?

Delinquent B: Let’s get the he!! out of here! I’m sorry to all chickens!

Deuce: Apologize 100 times next you eat eggs! Dumb@$$e$!!

Grim: Wow!

Deuce: Huff, huff… Ugh!!

Grim: What just happened?

Deuce: …I screwed up… I vowed that I would definitely be a honor student this time…! In middle school, all I ever did was screw around… I constantly skipped school and spent my day getting into fights. I disrespected my teachers, hung around sketchy upperclassman, and bleached my hair to death. Even ran around all over the place riding a magical wheel. I was a terrible person that went as far as to use magic to lord over those that couldn’t.

Grim: Just now you went full on bad boy on those guys!

Deuce: Then one night... I saw my mom hiding away in tears as she called my grandma. "Was the I raised him wrong? Would it have been better if he had both parents?" She was wrong. Mom never did anything wrong. It was all me! So when the carriage from Night Raven College came to get me... My mom was so happy and I don't want to make her cry again. This time. I'm going to be an honor student my mom can be proud of. Then I do this... $hit!

Grim: But, y'know... Does being an honor student mean you have to grin and bare everything?

Deuce: Huh?

Grim: Those delinquents deserved another 10 punches if you ask me! You and Yuu fought them off before I could, though.

Yuu: I think that your mom would be proud that you are trying to be a better student. In my eyes, you are doing a lot better than back then.

Deuce: You guys...

Yuu: Even honor students get mad too.

Deuce: Really? ...Heh heh. May those baby chicks rest in peace.

Yuu: There is something that I need to tell you.

Deuce: What do you mean?

Yuu: The eggs that we bought will never turn into chicks as they were never fertilized.

Deuce: WHAT?!? You've gotta be kidding!?

Back at the kitchen, they gave the ingredients to Trey who then proceeded to finish making the tart. Which turned out to be amazing and looked really good.

Ace: Did something happen while you were out shopping?

Yuu: Chick shock...

Deuce: For 16 years... I believed that...

Ace: Making sweets takes so much time. I'm exhausted...

Cater: Good work! Is the tart finished? The decorations look super cute! It's totally magicam-gramble! Let me take a pic.

Ace: Ah! What'd you come here for?

Cater: I came by to check on my cute underclassmen, working so hard. Ahaha, you look beat!

Trey: Things you aren't used to tire you out quick. So when you're tired you need to eat something sweet. Go ahead and try the mont blanc we made.

Everyone: Yay!

Yuu: Are you sure?

Trey: It's fine.

Ace: Cater, you did come here just in time to eat the tart!

Yuu: Almost like you planned it.

Cater: Just a coincidence I promise.

Grim: Waaahaaa... It smells so deliciously sweet. The chestnuts on top are glossy while the cream underneath is so fluffy! Let's eat!

Yuu: Please don't eat it all. We still need a tart for the Unbirthday Party.

Grim: I know

Ace: Ah! Holy crap!

Cater: So good!

Deuce: Amazing... It's like what you get in stores.

Grim: It's not overly sweet but still has a richness to it! It's like a garden of chestnuts in my mouth!

Yuu: It's amazing! I definitely think that Riddle will love this.

Trey: Thank you.

Cater: Oh yeah. Hey Trey, do the thing.

Trey: The thing? ...Oh, that. So what are your favorite foods?

Ace: Mine's cherry pie and hamburgers.

Grim: My number one is canned tuna. And cheese omurice, and grilled meat, and pudding!

Deuce: If I have to pick, omurice, I guess.

Yuu: Mine would have to be breaded shrimp.

Cater: And mine is grilled lamb with diablo sauce.

Trey: Alright here we go, ... Doodle Suit!

There was a sound, a flash, and then nothing.

Deuce: ...? This is?

Trey: Now take another bite of the mont blanc.

Ace: Hm? Hmmmmm? This is... mont blanc but it tastes like cherry pie!

Grim: It tastes like canned tuna! *Chomp chomp* Ohh, now it's cheese omurice! And grilled chicken, *munch munch*, and pudding!

Yuu: Wow! It really does taste like breaded shrimp!

Cater: Isn't it fun? If you did this while having tea with a girl, they'd be super impressed!

Deuce: It's amazing. Is changing the flavor of food your unique magic, Trey?

Trey: Actually, it's magic that "overwrites a component". So not just taste, but I can also overwrite the color or scent or really anything. The overwrite only lasts a short time so that's why it's like a doodle or scribble. That's why I've named this magic "doodle" since it's not permanent.

Grim: With your "Doodle Suit" my dream of all you can eat canned tuna isn't just a dream. It's so much better than the magic Riddle uses to bully people.

Trey: No... My magic is nothing more than child's play when compared to Riddle's He's on a different level. ...It's getting late. Let's go home and give Riddle the tart tomorrow. Tomorrow is the Unbirthday Party. Don't be late.

Yuu: Hang on. Do you have a book of the rules?

Trey: Yeah, why?

Yuu: I want to make sure that there is nothing against a mont blanc at an Unbirthday Party.

Cater: Good thinking Yuu.

Ace: So, did you find anything Yuu?

Yuu: Here we are. Rule Number 562: Refrain from bringing marron tarts for the Unbirthday Party."

Trey: Wow, I almost missed that one. Good thing Yuu double-checked the rules.

Yuu: It's kinda a talent of mine. Knowing the rules and when a rule applies to a situation or not. It's weird, I know.

Cater: Far from it. If you hadn't checked then Riddle would have most likely been furious.

Ace: Yuu, I owe you one.

Yuu: Then I think that we should keep the tart in the kitchen, explain ourselves to Riddle and hope that he takes the collar off of Ace.

Ace: One more thing. Yuu, can you let me sleep over again? My cruel upperclassmen aren't going to let me in the dorm!

Cater: Wow. So prickly!

Deuce: Ace, don't force Yuu to spoil you too much.

Grim: Yeah! You gotta pay to stay! 10 cans of tuna!

Ace: What! Are you telling me to sleep outside?

Yuu: No, no. Ace, you can stay but now you owe me two favors.

Ace: Fine by me! Thank Yuu!

Trey: Deuce, why don't you stay in their dorm to keep an eye on Ace? As the vice dorm leader, I give you permission.

Cater: Trey, aren't you spoiling the newbies. I'm jelly. Yuu, can I go too?

Yuu: I don't think so. The dorm needs some intense TLC and I'm pretty sure that you're needed in the dorm.

Cater: Tch. Bringin' me down.

Trey: Yuu, I'm sorry about forcing those two on you. We're counting on you tomorrow.

Yuu: It's fine and I will be sure that they are on their best behavior tomorrow.

Ace: Tomorrow is the Unbirthday Party. This damn collar is definitely coming off! Just you watch, Riddle.

As Yuu, Ace, Grim, and Deuce made their way to the dorm Yuu coudn't help but feel as if something was very wrong in the dorm. And that Riddle was in great danger, but from what?

That is where I will end this chapter and the next will continue to the morning of the Unbirthday Party. Until then, hope everyone is doing ok.

[casuallyimagining]

So Much Love

Min Yoongi x Reader

Summary: After being forced to cancel a few dates, Yoongi begins to doubt your relationship. Genre: hurt/comfort Notes: Part of the Long Term Couples series. Read more here.

You’d been hearing nothing but apologies all week.

He’d had to cancel your date. It wasn’t supposed to be much, you were just going to order takeout and start watching the new season of the sci-fi/fantasy show the two of you were into. But he’d ended up having to stay late at the studio to finish up some production stuff, so you stayed home and watched the news instead.

He hadn’t been able to come over like he normally would. At least twice in a normal week, he would use the key you gave him to let himself into your apartment. He would come over just to fall asleep in your bed and hang out for breakfast before you went to work. But he’d had early morning practice all week, and it was easier just to sleep at the dorms.

And then he’d forgotten to pick you up from work when your car was in for repairs. It wasn’t a huge deal--you were able to grab a ride from a coworker--but it had been torrentially raining, and you hadn’t been able to get in touch with him since his phone had died while he was in back-to-back meetings.

So you weren’t in the greatest of moods when he texted you to cancel yet again. You had spent all afternoon cooking a new recipe you’d found and you were just about to start packing it up to take to the studio for him when he’d told you that he needed to focus on meeting his deadlines. Admittedly, your response had been a little harsher than you’d intended.

When you heard your front door open that night, you were surprised. You hadn’t really been expecting him to come over at all, especially not after he cancelled, and even then, it was only a little past 11:30--early for Min Yoongi. You listened as he shuffled around in the hallway, taking off his shoes and his coat and throwing his keys on top of yours in the dish by the door. You heard the soft padding of his socked feet as he moved further into your apartment, but frowned when he bypassed the living room entirely and walked into the kitchen instead.

You got up and made your way into the kitchen to join him, humming happily when you saw him rummaging around in your refrigerator. “Thought I heard you come in,” you said softly, rubbing his back as you passed him to get to the pantry. “You get your song finished?”

Yoongi straightened and shut the door to the fridge, a bottle of water in his hand. Immediately, you knew something was wrong. His face may have been entirely neutral, but you could see it in his eyes. What ‘it’ was, you couldn’t quite tell, but it made you feel a little uneasy. His eyes didn’t have their usual life to them, and the small smile he flashed you didn’t go beyond his lips.

“What’s wrong?”

He shook his head and took a drink, avoiding you with his eyes. “Nothing, why?”

“Yoon.” You watched as he leaned against the counter casually. “It’s cool if you don’t want to talk about it, but I’m here to listen if you do.” You reached out and squeezed his hand in what you hoped was a reassuring way.

He sighed and stared at the ground but otherwise didn’t move. “I’m sorry about having to cancel today. I wanted to see you, I did. I just… needed some time to myself.”

“You don’t have to apologize for that. I’m sorry I got mad at you.” He hummed, and you could tell just from looking at him that it was still bothering him. “Seriously, Yoongi. It’s okay. You got busy. Shit happens.”

“Shit’s been happening a lot lately.”

“Well, yeah, but it’ll calm down soon enough.”

“Don’t you get it?” Something flashed in Yoongi’s eyes. “There’s no such thing as calm. Things like tours and comebacks come and go, but this is what it is. The busy time doesn’t end.”

“That’s not what I-”

“If that’s a problem, then maybe we should stop kidding ourselves.”

You froze, your eyes wide. “Pardon?”

“I warned you that it would be like this. I gave you an out.”

“I know. I remember. I didn’t want it then. I don’t want it now.” Yoongi was staring at one of the cabinets just over your shoulder. You moved slightly to be in his field of vision and you watched his eyes dart elsewhere. “If you think I give a shit about a few missed dates, you’re crazy. Sure, it hurts in the moment, but I’m rational--I just need a moment to process sometimes. Where is this coming from, Yoongi?”

He swallowed thickly and roughly ran a hand through his hair. Judging by the state of it, he had been doing that all night. “I’m sorry. I’m… shit.”

His dark eyes met yours before flickering away, but in that brief moment, you had seen it. Hurt. Sadness. Heartbreak. Anxiety. You hadn’t been able to read it before, but suddenly, it was all clearer to you.

“Hey, it’s okay.” You tried to keep your voice soothing and level as you reached out to him. “We’re okay.”

As soon as your hand touched the sleeve of his hoodie, he was crumbling to the tile floor. His hand gripped your arm, almost as if he was trying to catch himself but he wasn’t strong enough to keep himself standing. You steadied his fall, grabbing his other arm and slowly easing yourself onto the floor with him, making sure he didn’t hurt himself on the way down.

He pulled away from you almost immediately, shrinking into himself and drawing his knees into his chest. You watched quietly as his shoulders began to shake. You didn’t know what to do. He clearly didn’t want your comfort at the moment, so you scooted yourself so that you were sitting beside him, close enough that you hoped it was comforting but far enough away that he had his space.

“I’m sorry,” he said after a few moments, his voice thick and shaky. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“Yoon, honestly it’s-”

“No, I-” He sniffled, wiping his tears away with his sleeves. “You deserve someone who can actually take you out and show you off. You deserve someone who can give you everything you want and more. You deserve more than me.”

“Oh, honey boy.” You wanted nothing more than to reach out and comfort him, but you saw him peek up at you from under his hair, and you didn’t dare. “Don’t you think I should have a say in what I deserve?”

“Of course, but-”

“No, hey.” You sighed. “Do you want to know what I want most in the world, right this second?” His eyes met yours, then, and you could see the curiosity mixed with the sadness. A silent tear rolled its way down his blotchy cheeks. “You. I would pick you a hundred times. A hundred hundred times if I had to.”

“Why?” His voice was so small, you almost didn’t hear him.

“I love you.” You shrugged. “I know you don’t believe you deserve it, but I do. And you do--you deserve so much love, Min Yoongi.”

He was quiet, but his eyes never left yours. Carefully, you reached out to brush some of the hair out of his eyes. He shrank away from your hand, and you dropped it into your lap sadly. After a moment, he pouted slightly. Slowly, and ever so gently, he reached out and grasped your hand. He squeezed it tightly before lifting it and placing it gently on his head. You smiled and carded your fingers through his hair, brushing it back and off his forehead. Yoongi leaned into your touch.

“I don’t care that we can’t go out on dates. I’d rather stay home and watch that stupid sci-fi show, anyway.” You reached for his hand, entwining your fingers together gently. With your other hand, you continued to smooth his hair down, alternating between playing with the soft, dark strands at the base of his neck and massaging his scalp. “And if there’s something I want that you can’t give me, then it isn’t worth having.”

Yoongi smiled, small and soft, and you could tell that he didn’t believe you, not yet anyway. You hoped that one day, he would. “Do you want to go watch it now?” He squeezed your hand. “I know we didn’t get to watch it earlier.”

“There’s nothing I would rather do.”

He stood, pulling you up with him and grabbing his forgotten water bottle from the counter before leading you into your living room. You curled into his side on the couch, your hand once again finding his as he pulled up the show on your TV. Once the season recap was playing, he looked down to you and flashed a small, flat smile. You leaned up and kissed him tenderly, and when you pulled away, you noticed a slight pink tinge to his cheeks. Smiling, you squeezed his hand before turning your attention to the show. His head fell against yours as he got comfortable.

Your heart ached for Yoongi, but you hoped to be around long enough for him to know in his bones how much love you had for him. You didn’t care how long it took--a year, five years, fifty, it didn’t matter. Someday, he would figure it out. And though you knew you couldn’t cure his anxiety or depression through love alone, you knew you could get through it together.

This fic is part of the Long Term Couples series. Read more here.

[recapcrew]

Transcript Week 16

Empires Recap Week 16 Video

Intro

Extra extra, read all about it! Welcome to the Empire’s Recap, and today we will be going over the chaos and drama of our (somewhat) respected rulers!

This week mistakes are made, revenge is had, and theres lots to talk about regarding a strange purple LORE rift…

Lizzie

Guess Lizzie can’t ignore the frogs eggs anymore - they’ve hatched! At least now they can gain free citizenship and Lizzie has a good reason to add slime to her economy.

After building her farm after the model of wattles Hermes pays her a visit with berries in their hand! What a good demi-god. But it was all a ruse as Zombie Sausage jumps out of a tree to quote-unquote “scare” her. It didn’t exactly work…

Her new business seems to be blooming since the reason Sausage actually came over was for slime! Word of maw travels fast!

She then builds a “fishing shack” for her fresh new “fishermen” selling slime, with nothing hidden under the trap door, and attempts to advertise the new slime business with cod advertisements in the pathways.

Wait, they’re dying! Oh no! This is a disaster!

An achievement later, Lizzie decided to go on a walk with her frog children. But something sparkling catches her eye, a sort of strange purple portal. Welp! Time to send Gary the explorer.

Let’s hope they return safe and sound…

Joel

And a long-overdue greetings to the Beansfam - that's us, apparently. Joel's not sure about it either.

He's back, and there is much rejoicing, and things to be done. Joel checks on the sales in the toy barn and finds all the Sheriff toys missing; wonder who could've done that?

Joel's been planning a map room for the area, and feels it's time to add layers to Stratos' pathways - who loves layers more than an ex-ogre? An unsubtle call to the loreheads.

Hermes is home again, with another gift from Sausage - a totem of undying. Not like Joel needs that because gods don't die, but it's a nice thought.

He puts a bridge over his bridge, so you can bridge while you bridge, and lines it with a floating garden path.

The map room is yet another sphere, with the massive map taking up the entire floor.

Or at least, it will, once he actually has the maps to put on it. Seems that cartographers need an observatory before they'll move into his village, and Joel obliges.

He has absolutely zero trouble mapping the local area, and with his work done, it's time to play.

And by play, I mean prank. If the sheriff is going to be stealing - which is the MOST inappropriate coming from Mr. The Law - then Joel has to get back at him, no matter how much extra grinding it is.

[JOEL] And this time he's taken it too far, so I'm also going to take it too far.

[NARRATOR] Joel wraps the entirety of Tumble Town in a beautiful and calming blue sky, that just happens to be an exact match of Andy's wallpaper from, yet again, Toy Story.

He takes the time to search Jimmy's things for the missing toys, but doesn't find them. Or steal anything, because he's not a thief, Jimmy.

Satisfied, Joel decides to take a trip over to the Greatbridge - Pixlriff's Emerald Exchange is quite handy for getting the most out of his ores, and it's nice to check in on all the new additions.

Including the strange purple rift in the mountainside. It looks lonely, so Joel tosses in a Sheriff toy; everyone loves those!

Pix

The Greatbridge is getting love this week - let’s check in on its maker!

We begin our meeting with the archaeologist appropriately in the past, in more ways than one! Pixlriffs has found the server's oldest building - Oli's base from back before anyone but him was on the server at all. Something of this much importance belongs in the museum, and so, after taking careful records of every single block placement and chest loot, he packs the entire base into boxes and bundles to be moved to a more preservable location. So THAT'S where Oli's house went!

Back in the present, Pix is lamenting all the plans that keep getting pushed off.

He's just now getting to the second onramp for the Greatbridge, after fiddling with his magic watch to find it under an apparent landslide.

Onramps mean foot traffic, and Pix runs into False stocking the "shop" under her hot air balloon. She's a little skittish around a massive extinct bird, but warms up to Winchester after a quick wing race. Pix proudly shows off the froglight orchard, and trades some of its fruits for desperately desired Mending. Bringing things back from the dead does seem to have some…interesting evolutionary effects.

The time is finally right to pull Oli's “megabase” out of storage and rebuild it in the museum in a place of honor. You don't get a more essential piece of history.

He meticulously recreates every single chest's inventory, with some classic archaeologist commentary on the esoteric arrangements. And some light lampshading of the whole thing.

[PIX] This is probably kind of like stealing which is something that the British museum and other museums across the world have done for ages!

[NARRATOR] A quick check to make sure he's not being lagged out by chickens - since that's going around, apparently - and we get our weekly review of new towers.

Fwhip's made a gorgeous goblin holding a wither rose because of course, but the free pork is nice. Pix tries not to spoil another tower, but since the video went up two hours later, there's no harm, only fowl, in pointing out the parrot.

The glint of purple from the rift catches Pix's eye, and he does the only sensible thing. Throw a bunch of eggs at it.

Hope whatever it leads to likes chickens!

fWhip

fWhip very much does not like chickens. After coming back from his honeymoon and finding a short video on his computer of Scott, Sausage and Gem having invaded his office and declaring retribution, he is wary!

And he is right to be so! He finds thousands of chickens in his base and while killing the handiwork of the prankster, he comes across a chest from the Sheriff declaring he’s been fired!

He goes to the Law Cave to hatch a plan. He can’t be fired, he hasn’t broken any laws! If anything, the Sheriff is the one who has broken the law!

fWhip travels to Tumble Town to make some notes on the law abiding-ness of the sheriff. He’s definitely broke law 1: The sheriff has some truly unsafe working areas! He’s disrespecting himself with that!

fWhip issues Jimmy with a warning to step up his game if he wants to stay the sheriff!

Now time to deal with the chicken problem…

Lizzie might have some foxes for him to borrow.

Turns out, she does! She lets him borrow them and he takes them to the Goblands to join the clean up operation. It’s a bit slow for him though, so he joins in the slaughter with his sword! By the end of the 2 hours, he’s killed over 1,000 chickens and spotted the source!

Someone had hidden chicken spawners in the ceiling of the cavern to shoot eggs down into the Goblands! There were like 15 of those things, whoever did it had been thorough.

To calm down after dealing with the chicken scandal, fWhip decides to join the other empires in building a post on the Greatbridge. He wants to provide food for the masses (mainly pork. …only pork.) and to advertise this he builds a large statue on the bridge of a goblin holding some dripstone and a wither rose!

He acquired some pork and stocks the barrels on the bridge, before doing what he’s known for: building. Back in the Goblands he uses his inspiration from his honeymoon trip to Italy to include some of the building style into the Goblands - he plans a whole new section into the cavern with dirt.

While we’re on the topic of people, he needs more emeralds, his butchers Aren't Enough!

Outside of the lore, it's villager breeder time, he wants 20 more butchers to get as many emeralds as possible when he does the rounds - he has a embassy to keep stocked, after all!

Gobland is truly Loreful, as when he is digging out his expanded trading hall he finds a rare, fertile goblin cavern, perfect for farming and bringing more goblins into Gobland!

He then has to work on the process of converting these villagers into butchers and luring in the assistant minister of economic processes to "prepare" the villagers for goblinification

- he's getting scarily efficient at this!

This hard work pays off though, as emerald production has increased from 3 stacks per cycle to 7 already.

In the small homes, he built earlier in the Italy-inspired housing district, he names residents of three homes, which are to be decorated on livestream for the new empiressona residents!

Also, it has come to his attention that the bard, Oli, is still in DEBT and HASN'T PAID and there is INTEREST!

In his ongoing expansion of the Goblands, he fixes the long-broken cobblestone generator and finds the sheriff's ultimatum… buttttt he can’t be fired so he leaves SOMETHING gold - a pufferfish, not his badge, but they look similar don’t they?

He needs some rocks to build up the rest of the city streets, and so goes digging to use the deep slate for the roads! While rooting around in his storage system for the blocks, he did find a load of copper. This is a great opportunity to provide some gifts for everyone on the server.

He builds a giant tower of copper ore to smelt up in the cavern and when he brings some back out to Pix’s bridge to gift, he meets a dodo and admires the area.

He hears an explosion as he’s walking across the Greatbridge to stock a barrel of copper at his embassy, and sees a weird purple rift. Goblins, however, know not to dig where there’s a clear warning, so he gets the heck outta dodge

Back in the cavern, every Goblin needs a forge, so he builds a lava powered giant forge to build weapons at someday. Anything orange-coloured is fireproof (including fwhip's hair!) which is totally why he can build out of Acacia to redirect the natural lava into the forge. The end build looks beautiful, but the admiration is cut short by the sound of the emergency horn! Lizzie has a situation - Gary has gone missing! Luckily, fWhip has his own equivalent of Gary the greatest explorer to have ever lived in animalia, in Snorts younger brother Sniff, the greatest explorer to have ever lived in the Goblands.

They send him into the rift on a rescue mission, and now all that’s left to do is wait.

Jimmy

Last time wasn’t the last we’ve seen of the bandits - Jimmy went down on a stream to uncover many secrets left by the bandits due to their untimely death

While he was down there, he dug up a treasure chest with many riches, and centre stage was “the sheriffs pull string”. He quickly hides it again and nobody is allowed to talk about it!

No Tumble Town is complete without a saloon, and the sheriff finally gets around to building one! It has been highly requested - quite unfortunate for Oli the local bard and his hatred of taverns and similar businesses. Unfortunately though, it’ll have to be decorated later, as the Law has a meeting.

In Eversea, Joey and Jimmy have a chat, which is a mild way of putting all the threats and innuendos made between them. Jimmy *owns* the gunpowder business, and Joey is encroaching on his profits.

They argue over Jimmy not stocking his shop and over sharing gunpowder, and Joey disrespects him many times! Joey seems to expect the Sheriff to always know what’s going on, but he’s being unreasonable, Jimmy can’t know every crime if he’s not told about them - and Joey never told him!

They go back and forth for quite a while, before finally settling on a deal both can be happy with.

Joey accepts to split the profits between them, selling one stack for 2 diamonds, and Jimmy can have access to the farm. This is a win for the Sheriff - even if he has to clean up the torches in Joeys mob farm.

In Tumble Town there appears to have been a visitor in his ex.

ex deputy, guys, ex deputy.

fWhip declares Jimmy is breaking multiple laws that he himself created, and there will have to be an election if he doesn’t clean up his act!

There can’t be an election! He found the hat and the hat found him! His ex is just bitter that he was fired, he thinks. It was an entirely reasonable firing, and fWhip needs to get over these emotions!

Jimmy goes to the Goblands and leaves a sign reminding fWhip that he has to return his deputy badge. It's not up for debate.

Joey

Joey promises that he's not actually going to be selling parrots out of his parrot shop. He could never part with these cuties! It's a mere aesthetic business.

On the topic of business, it's finally time to Deal with The Sheriff once and for all, before this gunpowder tomfoolery gets really out of hand. And what do you know, the man's already skulking around Eversea!

Their conversation is, to put it lightly, tense. The Sheriff will "let" the pirate keep his farm, if he can take from it to fuel his shop?

Joey is NOT about to be exploitable labor for the Man, no matter how cute that man is. He puts his foot down; why should he respect a Sheriff who can't even find the person who keeps leafing Joey's chest room? Shouldn't he KNOW when crimes are happening?

After the tension nearly breaks out into violence, Jimmy finally listens to reason - if he's using Joey's farm for his shop, Joey gets half the profits. Jimmy's wagon has brand recognition, even if it was previously never stocked, so it's simpler to keep selling it from there. All Joey wants is his fair share!

The deal is settled, and Joey's temper passes. He even reminds Jimmy about their common enemy - not much a god could do against dynamite, is there?

With the Sheriff pacified and the farm un-lit, Joey can finally move onto figuring out his Greatbridge tower. Real estate is limited, but the second spot next to the gate is still free - a pirate's luck!

After another gravel grind - doesn't anyone sell concrete in this place - Joey has the materials he needs. He builds a beautiful parrot, the tallest 'tower' on the whole bridge.

But what to put under it? After about half a second of consideration, the pirate decides to do what he does best: borrow other people's stuff. He fills his space with things stolen from the other towers, as well as a tiny bit of his own empire's wares. He doesn't have a name for it - I suggest Parrot's Pirated Goods.

False

Concerning things are happening over in Cogsmeade. Falsesymmetry goes to bed haunted by the ticking of a repeating clock - tick tock tick tock - and wakes up to several things having happened while she was asleep. Clocks everywhere, and copper aging. Her daily newspap- I mean sign tells her to watch for the wisps.

She acknowledges it and starts building! First building the clock tower to the bridge, then she terraforms the land. She even stocks her shop on the Greatbridge and meets Pix and his Dodo looking for a trade. After getting a delivery of weakness potions to help with the villager operations downstairs, it reminds her of a spot to imprison the creepy pumpkin guy.

So she digs it out, and traps him in a cage, underneath her villagers.

It’s all about the best friends this week with Scott Smajor! His llama besties need a bigger home than the small pen he first put them in!

A llama garden is in the works! He plans out the base of the llama garden with leaves, making a centre point and little hedge arches.

Scott

Before he gets truly into the building though, he gets a call for help from the Sheriff, who has apparently started a raid in Tumble Town.

There’s a weird sacrificial thing in the middle of tumble town too, but I’m sure the sheriff is dealing with it…

They defeat all rounds of the raid, and Scott gets a few totems of undying and an unspecified future IOU. Seems like a win to me!

Back within the much different vibes of Chromia, Scott works on his llama gardens and adds lots of cute decorations! He even has a pond with a fish called Dan.

Train mechanics come in handy when transporting the llamas to their new home, and it’s the biggest train Chromia has ever seen!

A few of Scott’s llama best friends are not in the llama garden, however. Owen the bartender has gotten some pretty negative reviews in the tavern - Scott really needs to send him to some anger management classes or something… - and the 2 llambassadors on the Greatbridge have gotten their names! Crow and Mia, fitting seeing as they are the ambassadors for Chromia.

Sausage

Our favourite Meat boy has been very busy this week! When he drops Hermes off at Stratos, he meets Donkey Jeremy, and sees the statue of Peril. He acknowledges it, with a vague respect, and heads on his way.

On his way back, he stops by the toy barn, where new stock seems to be in. Donkey Jeremy, but in plushy form, sits on the shelves. He purchases 3 and heads on his way home.

He restocks the Sanctuary outpost on the Great Bridge, and is messaged by Jimmy to come put his banner in Jimmy's gazebo. He ends up watching the fWimmy divorce arc live, and finds it wholly entertaining.

Sausage wouldnt be Sausage if he didnt do some building, so he picks a spot for his town hall, and gathers the materials. Then he jumps into a time-lapse, and tells us, yes, he's put empiresonas into the town hall.

He hears horns from the harbor, and greets the new villagers, and accidently falls in. Sausage surfaces, and is greeted by a church and different docks. He enters the ship, and it seems familiar. A chicken by the name of Sir Carlos tells him he needs to go outside to meet Bubbles. He does, and is transported back to his world. It's weirdly nostalgic…

Outro

And with that join us next week for more chaos and shenanigans! Thank you for watching, liking, and subscribing, and thanks to everyone helping with the project, check them all out below!

[fnf-brain-rot]

[Whitty x Boyfriend]

Chapter 5 - Let's just chill!

Boyfriend awoke with a bit of an issue in the.. south region..

He groaned, putting a hand on his head before sitting up. It hurt too. He was about to handle it when he felt a presence to the side of him.

Whitty was just standing there..

Staring..

The blue haired male screamed and threw himself off the other side of the bed, which only made Whitty blink and lean over to look. "Sorry I startled you." He called to him. Boyfriend could only see the swirls in his vision. He eventually got up, pulling himself back onto his bed, also bringing his comforter back up as well. "Whitty, how long have you been standing there?"

"Mmh... Most of the night."

"Wh-MOST-"

Boyfriend threw his hands up in exasperation. "Did you SLEEP??" In response to his question, Whitty shook his head. "I told you I don't really need to." Boyfriend grimaced in his direction, making a small sound of discomfort to himself, then sighed heavily. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I thought you were having a nightmare." Whitty admitted softly. Boyfriend's cheeks began to heat up as he spoke. "It sounded like you were calling my name.. Was I.. doing something bad to you?" Whitty seemed hesitant to ask, gently pulling on the large shirt he was given.

"No no no! You didn't do anything bad! I uh.. It was uh.." Boyfriend bit his knuckle. Well he certainly couldn't say what was actually happening, but he was such a bad liar. "It was a recap of our day out.. yesterday!" He blurted out. Whitty blinked. He did something bad yesterday. Bee says it wasn't directed towards him, but he was still weary of him thinking about it. "How about you go wait in the living room? I'll make us some breakfast, yeah?" Boyfriend offered, and Whitty nodded, turning around to leave the room, of course, obliviously leaving the door open. Boyfriend let out a gentle sigh and got up to close it, then deal with his issue. Shouldn't take too long..

___________________________________________

Whitty sat down on the couch, nervously fiddling with his fingers as he stared at the blank tv. He couldn't have left a bad impression right? Of course not, if he didn't like him, he certainly wouldn't invite him over, and cuddle with him. Cuddling.. was nice. It would be nice to do that right now. He decided to figure out the tv, picking up the remote and mashing a random button. He pressed damn there  every button on the device before actually getting to the power button, and he couldn't help but jump when he heard the tv turn on.

He wasn't sure if he was ready to meet Dearest's daughter today. At least it was only her, and from what he knew, she knew nothing about him other than when they first met. Does she even know she's meeting the same guy? She looked pretty scared of him. Whitty squirmed in discomfort at the thought. What if she knew about him and her dad? What if she didn't like him? What if she rats him out? His head swirled with worst case scenarios, and he couldn't help but stress about it. Boyfriend exited his room about five minutes later. Whitty could hear the bare feet slap against the wooden hallway floor. "Whitty? Whitty, what's wrong?" The blue haired male rushed to the couch. Whitty hadn't realized he had started crying, clutching his head in his hands like he felt a pain too great to bare.

Boyfriend hopped onto the furniture beside him, gently hugging his head against his chest. "I'm sorry, did I upset you? I promise you didn't do anything bad." He mumbled softly. Whitty shook his head. "I'm just.. nervous." Boyfriend parted a bit, looking down at the bomb with a slightly confused expression. "Nervous? About what?"

"Meeting her."

Boyfriend understood. She did talk about how scary and dangerous he seemed. He didn't exactly specify that it was Whitty he was talking to. There is a chance she could freak out when she sees him. Maybe Boyfriend hadn't thought this all the way through..

"How about we eat breakfast? It's hard to think on an empty stomach." He hugged onto Whitty again, gently rubbing his back. Whitty quickly began to relax. No one had ever done this with him before, and it was really affective. He really liked it. "Can we do that thing first? The cuddle?" Whitty asked softly, and Boyfriend grinned. "Of course we can, Whits." He got down, then climbed into Whitty's lap, but he faced him this time, wiping away his tears, just like he did under the tree. Whitty couldn't help but smile a little, wrapping his arms around Boyfriend in a slightly tighter squeeze than the first time. He felt warm..

___________________________________________

Boyfriend had decided to make waffles, oatmeal, grits, scrambled eggs, fried eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns, anything he could honestly find in his kitchen to make a big enough meal for someone who eats so much so fast. He himself was contempt with eating two waffles and some eggs, while Whitty, of course, ate everything else. "Dude, where does it all go?" Bee then asked, receiving a simple "hm?" from Whitty across from him. "Like.. You eat so much, but it's like it literally melts right off of you." Whitty shrugged. "It kinda does.. I digest food faster than normal humans." He explained softly. He picked up his dirty dishes and put them in the sink, with instruction, and did the same with Boyfriend's dishware. "Aww you don't have to clean up after us every time." Boyfriend laughed, sitting up and stretching before standing out of his seat. "I like to. I like to think it shows.. my appreciation for you feeding me." Whitty responded in a soft tone. Of course he didn't really know how to DO dishes, just put them in the sink. Boyfriend would deal with that pile later.

"Come on, let's get ready to go. I have a whole day planned for us." Boyfriend bounced on his toes before rushing back to his room to change. Whitty sighed softly. He didn't know how to use the dryer..

Boyfriend was quick to throw on his usual baggy jeans, white shirt, and his cap. He could barely contain his excitement, he was running back and forth in the hall, of course grabbing his mic and pocketing it for good measure. Whitty had crouched down in front of the dryer, staring intensely at it. "My clothes are trapped." He whined softly. Boyfriend came out from behind him, and couldn't help but laugh. "This is the handle to pull it open." He pulled it, and Whitty let out a sound of relief. His clothes were free!!

___________________________________________

"I'm gonna miss this carpet."

"We're gonna come back dummy."

Whitty blinked. He hadn't thought of returning to his house, he thought he was only letting him stay one night..

Boyfriend was sneaky in managing to get him to stay. He secretly applauded himself. He then smiled up at Whitty, gently grabbing his hand. "Let's get going!"

He decided to take Whitty to all his favorite spots. There was a burger joint he and Pico occasionally hung out at, and Whitty was totally down to eat again, so they went.

"Yeah, all the good stuff happens at night, so that's when we go see Gigi." Boyfriend explained with his mouth full, and Whitty nodded to show he was listening. "Oh crap, I forgot! I'm battling her mom tonight! I don't really know where though, they were gonna come pick me up." Boyfriend put a hand on his head and threw it back in distress. "Does this mean I won't meet.. Gigi?" Whitty questioned him. Boyfriend shook his head. "I guess we'll just have to wait until after. Her mom is sneaky as hell, who knows where she is at any time." He shuddered. That lady genuinely scares him.

Next up was the mall.

Whitty was hesitant to go into such a crowded area, but Boyfriend led him through the door in the back way. There were way less people coming through there, so he wouldn't have to worry about being spotted. As they entered, though, Whitty got this weird feeling.. Like they were being watched. He looked around the clothing section they were in. It was quiet back there too, save for the gentle music playing from the speakers in the ceiling. "Ooh! We should shop clothes for you!" Boyfriend then suggested. "But.. I won't be able to carry them with me everywhere.." Whitty objected, holding his hands up nervously. "You won't carry them everywhere. They'll be at my place." Boyfriend pointed his thumb at his own chest proudly.

He really did trick him into moving in, didn't he?

"The only money I get is from the collabs I've been doing so far, so until I get rich and famous, you can get one more outfit and a pair of shoes." Whitty hummed uncomfortably. Now he was taking more money from him, great. "Hey, I'm offering. Now go pick out what you like." Boyfriend smacked Whitty's leg at the knee cap gently, and Whitty quickly held  it, puffing his cheeks. "Fineeee, I'll go pick out something.." He huffed reluctantly, but proceeded to look at some shirts and pants and such.

___________________________________________

The two walked out of the mall with one bag, and Boyfriend was holding a box, which had his new shoes in it. "Thanks.. for getting me new clothes. I'm sorry to spend your money." Whitty mumbled shamefully, and Boyfriend huffed at him. "I told you, I don't mind. I want you to be comfortable since it's obvious you've never relaxed a day in your life." Bee grunted in response, nudging his leg as they walked. Whitty laughed nervously, looking behind them. He swore up and down he felt like someone was following them..

"Where to next?" Boyfriend thought out loud, mostly to himself. It was already one in the afternoon, they only had about three hours left until they were coming to pick him up. They decided to go back to the house. Whitty felt uncomfortable being out in the open for so long. "You're sure you didn't tell anyone you were talking to me?" The bomb asked, taking his shoes off inside the house. "Yes, Whitty. I haven't mentioned your name to anyone. If anything I addressed you as 'the guy I battled last week' to Pico. Why?" Whitty shook his head, stepping onto the carpet, then relaxing all over again. It was just so soft-

"Whitty?" Boyfriend turned to look at him. Whitty sighed under his breath, then sat up. "I.. felt like someone was following us. All day. It just feels ironic that I'm supposedly meeting someone-a friend of yours-today." He muttered. Boyfriend stared at him for a moment. "You don't think.. You're not thinking I set you up, are you?" He asked hesitantly, putting a hand to his own chest. Whitty didn't answer right away. He curled up into a ball in his spot, the possibilities beginning to race through his mind all over again. Suddenly he didn't feel as safe as he wanted to. Suddenly he couldn't trust Boyfriend as much as he wanted to. Bee could see him breaking down into an anxious wreck, staring intently at one spot on the floor.

He was a little hurt, yes, but this guy had so many people out for him, it wasn't even funny. He couldn't be mad at him for being cautious. That's why he's still alive today. "Whitty.." Boyfriend approached him, and his heart broke when he saw how Whitty coiled away a bit. He didn't stop though. He crouched down, putting a hand on his head. Whitty slowly looked up at him, his black, inky tears trailing down his cheeks once again today. "When I told you I would be there for you, I meant it." He told him. "I wouldn't throw you in the gutter. Remember that? I would never set up my friend. If you don't feel safe going outside, you can stay in here, okay?" Boyfriend gently leaned forward, placing a kiss on his forehead.

Whitty had no idea what that was, but he liked how it felt. It was like his worries melted away with the feeling. Like he was.. safe. He took a breath, then nodded at Boyfriend's words. "Wait.. do that again?" Whitty's eyes held a less somber expression, and he gently held onto Boyfriend's head. This caused him to blush heavily. Whitty could feel his face heating in his hands. "W-What? A-A kiss?" Boyfriend was a little surprised as Whitty nodded. He tried to calm his heart beat. He could feel it beating out of his chest, so hard he would have thought he was having a heart attack. He leaned down and gave Whitty another peck on the forehead, and the taller couldn't help but close his eyes at the warmth it gave him.

"Thank you, BB." Whitty responded softly, letting his face go, then standing back up. "Y-Y-Yeah! N-No p-problem!" Boyfriend's hands were shaking, and he was laughing awkwardly. His face was so red, and Whitty remembered what that meant. He smiled, then picked Boyfriend up, a high pitched "beep!" coming from him. "Whitty!!" He exclaimed nervously, hiding his face in his hands. Whitty tilted his head. That must be an even more positive reaction! He sat down on the couch, still holding Bee in his arms. He was determined they would cuddle until Girlfriend came to get him.

___________________________________________

Boyfriend jolted awake to Whitty staring down at him. Again. He yelped out, but quickly exhaled, putting a hand on his own chest. "You don't wanna be late for your battle." Whitty noted softly. He was still holding Boyfriend. No wonder he fell asleep so fast. He sat up, and Whitty allowed him to, setting him on the floor in front of the couch. Boyfriend stretched his arms up, groaning at the good stretch. "Thanks Whits.." He mumbled softly, his face quickly beginning to redden again just by looking at him. "I'll protect the house while you're gone, don't worry." Whitty told him, and Bee laughed. "I'm sure you will." He made his way over to the door, slipping his shoes back on. "You sure you'll be okay?" He turned around, and watched as Whitty curled up on the couch. He nodded in response, turning the tv on. Bee smiled, then made his way out.

Whitty really wanted to see Boyfriend's little rap battle, to of course be emotional support, but he couldn't be seen. It sucked. He felt lonely all over again, sitting in the living room, sitting on a small couch in front of a tv playing something he wasn't interested in, and he had no knowledge of how to change the channel. He hugged his knees to his chest, puffing one of his cheeks in thought. Boyfriend seemed to genuinely care for him. He.. really did care for him.. Hopefully his friends are similar to that. Even if they weren't, Boyfriend was enough for him. He was all he needed..

___________________________________________

Whitty looked away from the cats on the screen about an hour later to the sound of the front door opening. His insides fluttered, like.. weirdly. He put a hand on his chest as the door opened, and Boyfriend walked in, talking to someone and laughing. He turned to look at Whitty, then winked. "Gigi, here's the guy I wanted you to meet!" Girlfriend walked past him, and looked directly into Whitty's eyes. They stared at each other for a moment, and Whitty began to sweat nervously. "H.. Hi-"

"I'm very sorry!"

Whitty's eyes widened, and his cheeks began to glow orange. "I also participated in pushing you to that point, and I wanted to apologise for doing that." She took her shoes off, making her way into the living room. Whitty and Boyfriend let out a breath of relief, the latter quickly following after her. "I-It's okay.. really.. it happens.." Whitty stammered awkwardly, shrinking against the couch as she smiled up at him.

"I'm Girlfriend, but just call me Gigi. I hope we can get to know each other better. And don't worry, I'll keep you a secret from my parents." Whitty's eyes brightened as she spoke those words. She seemed kind already. "See!! I told you it would go well!" Boyfriend hugged Girlfriend from behind, making her giggle. "Yeah.." Whitty mumbled to himself.

Maybe it won't be that bad making friends..

[brattyfics]

Try

Summary: Angel confesses his feelings to a friend.

Pairing: Angel Reyes x Black Reader

Word Count: 1,561

A/N: It’s been a while since I posted something. I’m feeling rusty, so let me know what you think.

“Why am I attracted to toxic masculinity?” Sierra asked you, staring down at her phone screen.

“Huh? What are you talking about?” The two of you waited at the Santo Padre Mayans Charter Clubhouse for her boyfriend, Coco, to return from an errand.

“I’m trying to figure out why my pussy throbs every time this man tells me I better behave or else. Like, why is that so sexy?”

You snort at her silliness. “I don’t know. You know I don’t. The first time a man thinks about telling me what to do I give him his walking papers.”

“I forget you can’t keep a man.”

“A man can’t keep me. Remember that. There’s a difference.”

“Right, that’s what happens.”

You rolled your eyes but kept talking. “I don’t think that’s toxic of him. I think he’s just setting boundaries. You can be…a handful. I’ll just put it that way.”

“Don’t put it. Just say it.” Sierra had that wild glint in her eye, the one that usually spelled trouble.

“You can be a lil’ bit reckless sometimes. A lil’ wild. Coco needs to regulate that ass.” You reached behind her to playfully swat her ass.

Coco chose that moment to show up, a big, crooked grin on his face. “Why you touching my girl, mano?” He stepped up, crowding you like he would some random dude at the bar who had done the same.

“Do you want to fight?” You asked, taking on your best Southpaw stance. Coco matched you, bouncing on his soles for a moment, but then shook his hands dismissively. “Nah, you got it. My bad.”

“Oh, okay. I didn’t think so. I’m glad I didn't have to lay you out in here today—“

“What are you yapping about?” Angel Reyes slid into the tiny space between you and Coco. His inky black hair was gelled back into a masculine style, patches of grey littering his full, overgrown beard. He looked as handsome as ever, and you felt yourself heating up in his presence.

You had too much of an ego to let him know that, so you kissed your teeth at his choice of words. Yapping, like you were some annoying little puppy dog. If only he knew. He’d be the one acting like a puppy if you got your hands on him.

“I’m just kidding, mamí.” The corners of his eyes crinkled as he smiled at you, and you felt your heart catch in your throat again. The smallest things made you clam up around Angel, but you needed to get a grip. He was so handsome but so unavailable.

Coco stepped around you to greet his girl, wrapping her up in a bear hug and tonguing her down in the middle of the clubhouse. You made exaggerated gagging noises, but they ignored you, getting reacquainted with each other. “You would think they were apart for longer than a couple of hours.” As much as you teased them about being codependent, you were happy for them. Neither of them had an easy go at love, but for some reason, they just clicked.

Angel dropped a heavy arm around your shoulders, the smell of teakwood, leather, and cedar washing over you. “Come on.” You didn’t need to be told twice, allowing him to guide you towards a table. The two of you settled into a corner, huddled closer than two platonic friends probably should be.

You missed EZ’s patch party the week earlier so he gave you a recap. You were in the awkward space of being physically close, though you had never been intimate. Your eyes kept locking on each other, and then quickly shifting away. It was nerve wracking not knowing the other person's limit—how much eye contact was too much or too little.

He asked about a cousin of yours that he went to high school with and that made you feel more relaxed and open. You faced each other, using your respective hands to gesture wildly as you shared stories animatedly.

Eventually, your hands found their way down to his thighs, using them to balance on as you yelled something to Coco over his shoulder. He seemed content with your closeness, so you kept your hands on his thighs even as you sat back on your stool.

“Let me taste.”

“What?” He wasn’t sure he heard you right.

“Your beer, idiot.” You mumbled under your breath as he handed over the cold bottle. Down went the gold liquid, scorching your taste buds. “Eck. Still nasty.” You sat the bottle down, your hand coming up to cover your chest.

“What, you don’t like beer? Why did you drink it then?” He laughed at your sour expression.

“No. I can do tequila, wine, vodka, hell, anything but that. I don’t know why I insist on torturing myself like that every time. I don’t know, I guess I’ll try anything a couple times.”

“Anything?” He wiggled his eyebrows dramatically.

“Ha ha. Almost anything. Let me make that clear.”

“Noted.” Angel tosses the rest of his beer back, eyeing you with a mischievous look in his eyes. Then he’s in your face, arms moving to circle around your midsection. Your knees feel a bit cramped from where they’re sandwiched in between his own and the stool.

“Is this something you’re willing to try? Me? I mean.”

The words stun you. You knew he was attracted to you. You were both drawn to each other whenever you got together. That much was obvious. But being attracted to someone and wanting to be romantically involved with them were two different things. Angel had a new baby and a complicated relationship with its mother. He had a lot going on, and you weren’t sure it was smart to insert yourself into the middle of that.

“Coco told me—“

“He told you what? I’m going to kill Sierra—“

“Nothing crazy. Just that I might not be alone in my feelings. I know you’re worried I don’t have my shit together, and I’m not going to lie and say I do, because I don’t. But me and her—we’re done. There’s nothing between us now but my son.” It concerned you that he couldn’t say her name. Was he still hurt? Bitter?

“A baby is a big something, Angel…”

“You’re right about that. You are.” An unruly strand of hair caught his attention, his calloused fingers brushing gently across the side of your face as he moved it. “I love my son more than anything else in the world, but that doesn’t mean I have to be with his mother. For a long time, I was forcing something that wasn’t meant to be. I didn’t want to see it then, but trust me when I say I know better now. Adelita and I are over.”

You looked down into your lap, wringing your fingers as you took in the information. He sounded genuine, but how many men had told a woman the same thing and then went back on their word?

From what you understood, Angel had been in deep with Adelita, and anyone that knew him knew he loved hard. If Adelita wanted to get back together, would he be able to resist?

You were conflicted, but you leaned into his chest for comfort as the butterflies flew wild in your belly.

“Why are you doing this to me?”

Your knees felt uncomfortable against the stool so you stood. Angel pulled you in further, and you felt relieved that you weren’t alone in your emotional turmoil. He wanted you just as close as you wanted to be. You practically melted into his firm chest like mush. He felt warmer than the average person and you wondered if it was just in your mind. Sighing, you willed yourself to not think about anything for a minute. To just enjoy the moment while it lasted, for however long it lasted.

“I’m sorry.” His voice sounded muffled and far away even though he spoke right above your head. Angel was apologizing, but you could hear the smile in his voice.

“No, you’re not.” You looked up at him to confirm your suspicions, and his delight was so contagious that a shy smile warmed your own face. “I am.” He did his best to school his expression, but it was no use.

“Don’t be.” The wide column of his neck was right there, so you pecked it, wondering how it would be to place a less innocent kiss there. “I’m--- I feel the same, Angel. I mean, I’m still worried about the other thing, but I’m willing to try. I want to trust you.”

“And I want you to trust me. Tell you what, you trust me, and I’ll trust you. There will be a time when the shoe is on the other foot. I’m going to have to suck it up and trust you at some point.” Angel was possessive by nature, but you felt more secure hearing him talk about the future. He wasn’t looking for something fun, or short lived. 

It just so happened, you weren’t either.

GENERAL TAGLIST

@woahitslucyylu @briannab1234 @sheeshgivemeabreak @breakingnewsin-no-oneasked @angelreyesgirl @blessedboo @glimmerglittergirl @apantherinmypastlife @brownsugarcoffy @marvelmaree @starrynite7114 @scuzmunkie @thewarriorprincessxo @ifoundmyhappythought @sadeyesgf @pearlkitten33 @imanerdychubbyqueen @literaturefeen

ANGEL TAGLIST

@thesandbeneathmytoes @claytoncardenasbabymama @adaydreamaway08