#actually still insanely proud of this one

[doyoulikethis-videogame-song]

Song: Gods Bound by Rules Artist: Keiichi Okabe (& MONACA) From: NieR Replicant ver.1.22474487139...

Listen on... Soundcloud, because Square Enix still hasn't uploaded the OST to a nearly four year old game on major platforms:

However, you can listen to the version from NieR (2010) (also known as NieR Gestalt) on youtube! Many listeners who were familiar with this song/series commented that they prefer this version. I'm in love with both of them and it was actually insanely difficult to pick which one I wanted to post. This is my favorite song in the entire series. Also by Keiichi Okabe & MONACA.

I am proud to say that I have told Keiichi Okabe, to his face, that this is my favorite song. His smile was delightful.

If you've been following this blog for a while then you know that I am a massive glazer of the NieR series (and preceding Drakengard series) and I encourage everyone to play it. You will not regret it.

NieR Replicant ver.1.22474497139 actually goes on sale very frequently. In fact, it's on sale for 60% off RIGHT NOW! Go buy it.

[chenginerd]

Vector Illustration I did for Azusa's Birthday in 2021

[therealcallmekd]

Shattered Downpour

[mimikip4744]

episode 16 was wild

Like, that was the best episode this far

but also WHAT THE FUCK!!!

[laesas]

The hands holding yours are not clean either.

VegasPete + Hands || KinnPorsche (2022)

[ryssbelle]

My cousins made their own troll Ocs and I drew them in my style.

They were very excited about it

[privilegedjester]

I did a thing! 10.9k words of insanity about one of my favorite characters ever :D if anyone wants y'know? No fancy post cause I'm nervous but I'll let the people have it

[widevibratobitch]

so what that i slept in for the exam. my voice teacher just called to talk about yesterdays concert and said some truly insane shit that made me cry again (but like. in a good way lol) so who even gives a shit lol

[boogiewoogieweeb]

if i had a cent for every time jared harris played a veteran, harried sea captain who ordered his loyal first to have a female poc with ties to a powerful folkloric creature thrown off his ship bc of his own internalized self-loathing, i would have two cents. which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

[too-young-to-fall-in-love]

Just Like Me

summary:

From the convenient timing to his inability to stop talking about Paris, talk of their relationship is inevitable. Still, the chasm between them remains. While Napoleon hopes to cross it, he knows he’s only good for making things worse.

Or, the ending events of Amor Magnus Doctor Est - Chapter Five, but from Napoleon’s perspective.

notes:

After reading Amor Magnus Doctor Est for the umpteenth time, I started thinking about how Napoleon would react to the events towards the end of chapter 5.

If you haven’t read the fic, PLEASE DO SO!! I PROMISE you will not regret it (although it may take over your entire life and influence your trip to Chicago, but that’s probably something that only happens to yours truly). However, you don’t have to read the original fic to understand this standalone.

excerpt:

The bitter cold runs its sharp tendrils up his spine and he can’t hold back a slight shiver. Even faced with Illya’s so-called inhuman warmth, it’s a force to be reckoned with. He knows he should move; that they either need to continue this walk or he needs to duck out. At the same time, nothing could convince him to move from this moment.

As if to root him to said moment, Illya’s arm wraps gently around his shoulders, pulling him minutely closer. He blames it on instinct, the way he immediately slides his arm behind Illya’s waist and leans closer. Illya is warm, he notes, his presence soothing and achingly familiar even if they’ve never shared a moment quite like this. He finds himself hoping it will last forever. A voice in his head is quick to retort that he doesn’t deserve it, though it sounds close enough to Victoria’s voice that he steadfastly ignores it.

“You really are warm, Peril,” he murmurs, blaming the sudden looseness of his tongue on the pitch blackness of the night sky and the way it seems to absorb his words, or perhaps the alcohol that really had no impact on him. He’s terrified, though, of the real reason: he feels safe here.

read more on ao3

inspired by Amor Magnus Doctor Est by @cha-melodius

[undermostcorgi]

the media which consumes your entire soul at age 12 will forever be a part of you. this is an unavoidable consequence of living and you have to accept this fact. no matter how old you get, no matter how long it has been since you last saw its smug face peeking out from the bushes as it follows you, no matter if you think you have outrun it for good and that you're finally finally safe and you hardly even remember it exists anymore and your brain knows a few brief moments of true peace, it WILL catch up to you in your moment of weakness. and listen you don't want to hear this but sometimes this is necessary for your mental health. you will on instinct want to reject it and run away again but sometimes. sometimes you just need to watch that old show or listen to that silly song or read that weird book again as an adult and it will hurt you a little bit in various little ways but it will also heal you a little bit. you can call it nostalgia you can call it connecting with your inner child or whatever you want but just listen to me it WILL HAPPEN TO YOU TOO AT SOME POINT AND YOU HAVE TO BE PREPARED FOR THIS (i am forcibly dragged off the stage by security)

[orcelito]

The drive for chapter 12 has not abated

As soon as I am able I'm gonna be finishing that shit TODAY. So long as nothing truly catastrophic happens, then I should be able to post tonight

[andaniellight]

Holy shit-

I finished this story one year ago? For real?

[transmascsnearyou]

Yesterday I made a lasagna for a friend of mine because I wanted her to have a warm meal ready when she'd come back from her vacation (she came back around 1am think) and this woman has NOTHING in her kitchen!?!

She doesn't have salt, she doesn't have any herbs except for dried parsley, she only has one single pot and one pan. She's been living like that with her husband for more than 2 years. Not only is this woman always bragging about her cooking she's also a trained chef. The rest of her apartment is beautiful, spacious, incredibly decorated and they have like, a lot of money. Their kitchen is beautiful and they have so much space for everything and it's all empty.

I had to bring my dishes from home so I could cook this lasagna in her kitchen (she has like double the space compared to my kitchen)

[gentlethorns]

30K WORDS. slay slay slay. i think i will always forever and ever remember this time in my life as the first time that i really truly forged a coherent and "adult" story, as i sat in my little apartment and lived an adult life for the first time (no longer in school, paying rent). it may not be marketable or even objectively good, even after i do edits and further drafts and so on so forth, but i think it will always be an important era of my life just on the simple fact that i did the hard work involved in laying a good foundation and pulled together the discipline to follow through on it for the first time since high school (and high school doesn't even really count bc it was nowhere near as intensive or solid and also bc i had no real responsibilities so it was easy). so inchresting to discern that a certain period in your life will be significant even as you're living it

[iwieldthesword]

I need to talk about this because it's making me feel insane.

Last week, my white leftist goyisch friends sat me, a wholeass antizionist Jew, down for a "talk" because they "needed to check in about Palestine" and make sure "our values aligned before we hung out again". They apparently needed to "suss out" where I stood on Palestinian rights, despite having had several conversations about Palestine and them being some of my closest friends. They needed to check, to search for and uncover my true values, because I had said some "disturbing things" that had made them "suspicious".

Disturbing things included:

Supporting IfNotNow which is a "liberal zionist organization" because it normalizes Jewish heritage in the Levant

Not bringing Palestine up enough, despite them also not bringing it up (this was apparently a test)

Mentioning that the Houthi's flag talks about cursing all Jews

Saying Stalin was antisemitic because of the "all the paw-grihms"

...and apparently other things they wouldn't specify, but had been tracking for months.

To clarify, I am an antizionist Jew from three generations of antizionist Jews. I have been vocal in my support of Palestinian liberation and in my condemnation both of Israel's actions and its violent founding as a state, and of zionism in many of its forms. I am a regular donor to Palestinian and Jewish NGOs and advocate for Jewish antizionism in person, at temple, and online. I have been talking about Palestinian liberation before they could point to Gaza on a map. But they needed to make sure, they needed to "suss out", they needed to check. And it's notable that the majority of moments that made them suspicious of me were times where I talked about antisemitism: not about Palestinian liberation, not about Israeli decolonization, not about anything actually relevant to Palestine. It was talking about antisemitism that made them check to see if I was a cryptozionist.

One of the most pervasive and insidious forms of antisemitism is the idea that Jews are inherently untrustworthy and suspicious. You have to constantly be on guard, track what they say and do, "suss out" the real truth. You have to keep them in line and and watch them carefully because they're liars and sneaks, and if you're not looking closely they'll return to their real values (and drag you down with them). This is where the idea of "cryptozionist" comes from and what it's directly building off of: the inherent untrustworthiness of Jews and the need to check. Because no matter how close you become you can't actually trust them, and any upstanding gentile should make sure to avoid associating with Jews before "sussing out" their real allegiances and intentions. You have to make them turn out their pockets, just in case.

I'm the first and only Jew they actually were friends with; I know because they've told me (strangely proud of it in the way white Americans are proud of that kind of thing). They've asked me questions about Judaism and fawned over how beautiful and unique it was for me to be connected to my community and culture. Pre-October 7th, one of them had even mentioned being interested in coming to services at my temple. She still has my copy of our siddur. But now she needed to "check" before she could be seen with me in public. Which is what it was: it wasn't a "you're my friend and I need to give you some feedback because you're fucking up" kind of intervention (which is normal and important to have), it was a trial. It was a last chance for me to prove to them that I'm clean-enough that they could afford to risk being seen with me in public, just in case someone noticed them fraternizing with a hypothetical Enemy and their leftism was compromised. It was a test to make sure that I behave properly when required to, that I'd play along and do what I'm told and turn out my pockets if asked (because any refusal would validate the notion of having something to hide). And above all it was an opportunity for them to reaffirm their own cleanliness by putting my imagined immorality in its place.

I did what I needed to do: I smiled. I apologized. I "didn't know that". I "appreciated the feedback". I turned out my pockets because what else could I do? They'd decided who I was and what I believed, regardless of what I said or did, so there was no point in explaining that they were wrong about me. If I had told them they were being antisemitic, it would just have been proof that they were right. Caring about antisemitism is a dogwhistle in the spaces they've chosen: it's not a real form of oppression, it's a tactic for sneaky, lying Jews to weasel out of admitting their true alliances. There was nothing I could say.

Nothing's really changed for me. I'm going to continue my activism for Palestinian liberation rooted in my culture and my faith. Antizionism is still not antisemitism. But I got a reminder that many white goyisch leftists fundamentally just don't trust Jews, and that the activist spaces they're in not only exacerbate their antisemitism in an increasingly insular echo chamber, but also allow them to finally vent their internalized bigotry in a socially-acceptable way. In my former friends' eyes, what they did was activism—disavowing a Jew (and making me feel humiliated, scared, and unclean in the process) as a cathartic stand-in for doing fucking anything for actual Palestinian liberation—but for me it was a grief that I'll be feeling for a long time: not only over losing friends I loved and trusted, but also over my sense of belonging and security in leftist spaces.