#anyway. enough rambling. on to the actual tags lol
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The hands holding yours are not clean either.
VegasPete + Hands || KinnPorsche (2022)
#Disclaimer: I have very complicated feelings about this show and this couple after everything that's happened over the past month#I actually started these in late december for a friends birthday but the colouring ended up so complicated I didnt get it done#and while I'm still untangling how I feel about the fandom and fan culture and the whole situation (tldr: bad sad parasocially betrayed lol#I was so proud of these for my 3rd ever gifset the absolutely insane amount of time I spent on the colouring and masking against shaky shot#like I genuinely had to keyframe adjust about 8 different overlapping layers frame-by-frame for at least 1 of these lol#and perhaps selfishly: I need to post bc I can't bring myself to work on new sets while this was staring back at me every time i opened PS#And I'm proud of it and it meant a lot and even though the shape of the fandom and friendships have changed its still worth something to me#anyway. enough rambling. on to the actual tags lol#VegasPete#kinnporche the series#vegas theerapanyakul#pete saengtham#asiandramasource#asianlgbtqdramas#lgbtedit#vegas kp#pete kp#idk idk idk I feel like this is my one last little love letter to these silly little characters that meant a lot to me#and to the friends that inspired it too#on a lighter note: the caption is an adapted taemin lyric and the colours were inspired by the criminal MV lmao#so like lol its not that deep :')#aaaand post.#bee.gif#kpts
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#kirby#daily kirby#my art#digital#hal laboratory#nintendo#va appeal hearing was today#not a fun time to have to try to granularly recall everything that. yknow. permanently destroyed my body and mind and life.#probably went fine? definitely cried in front of the judge but everyone was super cool about it.#also thank god my wife was there they let her give testimony as both my wife and as a doctor#(which she is)#(obviously)#but like I'm still So Sick and it's all this up and down and we're still fighting to get stabilized so I usually don't have time or energy#to like stop and look around at the quicksand I've been keeping myself afloat in this whole time#but today was very much 'hey tell me about this quicksand huh'#and it's just like a lot to deal with yknow#I'll be fine it's just A Lot#anyway shoutout to the folks who are either kind or nosy enough to read my tag rambles all the time lol#(the actual decision will still take up to 2 more years btw)#(hopefully not! but they said it could)#(although apparently a board denial isn't the end of the road anymore which is news to me)#(maybe they changed it in the 44 months since I filed for the appeal hearing lol)#(not a typo)#favorites
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Testing smth mmhnnmnmnnmmm *animation noises*
#i will use these tags as an opportunity to ramble abt procreate dreams because it’s just NOT it#as someone who has been used to procreate for like 4 years now when i say i was disappointed at how much they took away in dreams i just#head in hands#of course the actual animation stuff is cool. and bigger canvases layers n all that#but it’s not the same. there’s not even a way to select and move stuff#(at least i haven’t seen it yet)#this has resulted in me still having to do animation on normal procreate which is fine#but yk. i’d love to do animatics n stuff. but i can’t#i know it’s not meant to be the same but the way i saw it being advertised it was literally just procreate#but more specialised on animation#which ig it is but it’s just not close enough to normal procreate for me to be very comfortable with it#anyways yeah animation or smth is. a thing.#let’s hope i can finish this lol#ninjago#lego ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#ninjago lloyd#ninjago arin#tag ramble
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Ey i found a normal waddle dee!! totally normal stuff over here
Starstruck dee is @starflungwaddledee sona/oc
She is rlly cute i wanted to do a big fanart for her but i got lazy i hope this is good enough ^^'
#kirby oc#waddle dee oc#idk what else to tag this#SHE IS SUPER CUTE AND I LOVE THE LORE...#me watching from afar though bc im shy lol#your actually the reason why i like waddle dees alot tbh#ANYWAYS ENOUGH RAMBLING AND TIME TO HIDE
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I’ve been really thinking of reopening my art shop soon… I’ve been taking some practice doodles (hence all the posting lately) while I shake off my rust and I’m finding things I enjoy working on again. I miss trying my hand at more dragons/OCs and colors. my shop’s so broken rn lmao but that’s a problem for a later date it’s just nice getting back into art
#my mental health is starting to improve a bit#took a couple years but I found some meds that finally work better for me#ofc things aren’t 100% but I was really in a pit for a while#like ‘did not leave my house in months and slept 14 hours a day’ kind of pit#so. any improvement is better lol. but nah I’ve been making real improvement and im doing better. a lil shaky sometimes but that’s expected#diagnosed with chronic fatigue too. which is unfortunate but not unexpected. i am indeed god’s sleepiest soldier#i feel like a raisin slowly rehydrating but considering i was in a desert before any hydration is welcome#just learning how to enjoy things again overall#one thing I just couldn’t get myself to do (and enjoy) was art. doodles here and there but nothing to post#and it’s kind of funny because I feel like that downtime actually gave me a chance to think about what I wanted to work on#even when I wasn’t actively practicing#just paying attention to things I guess. enjoying art styles#i genuinely think my experimenting with stained is helping me learn colors#i spend hours in the scryshop im glad it’s paying off lmao#i want to tackle bigger things but i just gotta ease myself into the hang of things again#for now im having fun and that’s coooool. thank you all for your nice comments#i read all tags while kicking my feet and giggling. thank u all#that’s the update on Me tho. more to come hopefully#starting next month/julyish I will have a significant amount of time to dedicate to drawing which i intend on doing#so who knooowwwsss#rambles#funny enough coloring has become my favorite part of the process now. it used to be lineart. now lineart annoys me LOL#i also feel like i kinda lost my ability to write which has been frustrating but im focusing on art first#anyways that’s a whole different tangent rant over
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I haven't really done much art for tumblr (at all) lately, cus life, but! Here's a lil something I've been working on (it's a Xmas gift) 💙
(also peep that lil January calendar painting 👀 i did mini squares for each month for myself, because I need to have a physical one always, and they each have their own colour 🥺)
#sometimes i forget i'm a painter lol#this is just the base so i'll still add some cool stuff (colours and some gold leaf details hehe)#usually my thing is more flat/less busy painting (with more mixed media) but i've been digging this vibe lately#my art account is completely wiped cus i private everything earlier this year (same with personal)#but i wanna start posting again. not just old stuff but actually *make* something new everyday#like a little challenge i suppose#since i'm not currently working in my field and have being going through a bit of a rough adjustment period about ✨things✨#(plus the whole depresh spiraling)#i barely have been making any art at all that isn't just sketches/silly stuff#i miss painting. i miss making murals and working on an actual project etc#now that *some * things have been settled AND i finally have my own space i feel a lot more keen on working on it#i know i hardly ever talk about that part of my private life cus i do wanna keep it somewhat separate from here#but i guess i'm in a good mood and kinda ready to admit some stuff#??? that didn't make sense#i'm feeling hopeful for next year and have a semblance of a plan. That's what I meant there you go#i can already feel myself cringe cus everytime i share these type of things something ALWAYS bites my ankles#and that's why i hardly ever share anything at all with anyone ever until it actually is done or underway#which is! not good! i'm aware! but. ya know#ANYWAYS. rant over. look at the pretty colours and ignore my rambles#hmmmm my band crush guy (platonic) (guess who) (🕊️🥁) said my name and loved my super insightful question and i'll probably dream about it#(and the other really liked it too. MY BABE. it was kinda silly so very unexpected)#(okay i think this is buried deep enough to not make myself look like a 12 with a stupid crush) (hehehehehe)#darya does art#<- sure in the art tag it goes#blue#(it was a coincidence! i've never done anything exclusively blue before actually!) (in this capacity i mean)#traditional art#abstract painting
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my silly viera wol alt bc reasons uwu
#very messy tablet doodle could be better but eh it's something lol#anyways ye this is my edgy bunboi alt whom I like very much#it's about the vibes#I guess#if you don't get the vibes then congratulations I envy you I wish I wasn't so hung up on them tbh geez#ye he's silly af but I'm just having fun so lol#and really he doesn't look all that silly ingame I'm just projecting nonsense quite a lot I guess ha#his hair is actually black with purple details not all dark purple but I improvised and it ended up like that so eh#it works I suppose#he ninja'd his way up through hw danced through sb and is now reaping his way through shb and beyond yeehaw#shame his favorite facemask is bound to ninja only though bc the one he has to use as reaper is so clunky but eh it works#and there's always the bandana options for variety I guess ha#gonna continue through shb with this guy soon when I get the time#catboy's 'bout to ruin this poor bunman's life even more letsgooo#anyways enough random rambling sorry#enjoy or don't it's whatever#ffxiv viera#wol#idk if I should tag the finger flipping but eh let me know if I should I guess idk lol#I draw what I want#also unrelated but go stream DISDAIN on your platform of choice or don't I'm not your mom but either way yay music highly recommend yessir#anyways next artpost will be bombeep or at least fnf related in some way I swear to jeebus#fingers crossed something'll be doodled soon yeehaw
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everybody always talks about the experience of rereading an old fic you used to love when you were 13 and realizing it was utter dogshit but it is absolutely delightful when you reread an old fic you used to love when you were 13 and it is every bit the masterpiece it was back then
#my post about transfem!adrien agreste blowing up has got me nostalgic for pre-s2 miraculous ladybug#and as such it has got me rereadign these two fics that i still remmeber to this day#(one introduced 13yo me to polyamory and the other was a fantasy sleeping beatuty au)#(it took fivever to find them bc the search function on ff.net is shit from a butt)#god i miss the pre-s2 mlb fandom#if you too are nostalgic for pre-s2 mlb fandom and youre curious as to what 13yo me's favorite fics were to the point i remember enough...#...details 8 years later to find them (on ff.net no less) they are:#a cat a fox and a bee walked into a bakery by ssilverstreak#and#running from fate by akumatizedpancake#anyways time for the normal tags about the actual post lol...#rambles#fanfiction#ff.net#ao3
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I’m still writing this thing — how am I writing it? Why am I writing it 😆 I’ve never written something like this before 😂 probably doing a horrible job.
#pit babe the series#pit babe#pit babe fanfiction#pit babe fic#pit babe rambling#is that enough tags to that you need to click more tags to see the tags?#I’m working on a fic where Charlie is not actually an alpha at all#it’s going to be a more upbeat albeit there will be angst fic#where Charlie is actually a sigma but never knew about it lol I’m sure the .000003 who read this far into the tags get what I’m saying#anyway brotherly love for sure playing a role since I’m like 1.5k in and it’s just been Jeff and Charlie#if any of you read down this far — does a fic like this interest you? so far there’s really only BabePreg fics and I’m a hard pass on those#because he’s so against the whole concept 😂
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I'm sort of afraid that my Shinomi fic might get misinterpreted t.t
#pen rambles#writing#ik it'll depend on the execution#but i still got a comment from saltation that they thought it's a romance fic and nauuur it's not even a love story anon 😭😭😭#anyway i'm also struggling in balancing the detail of my shinomi fic#like (1) how much is enough to incorporate takeomi's hostessing without it overshadowing her relationship with shin#but instead expanding on said relationship as well as their character arcs and themes?#(2) i hope to god someone doesn't read this as anti-sex or against sex work#(we hate the system and no hostessing isn't prostitution but-)#hoping my execution is actually good at making this clear and nuanced jfjdks#(3) how does one deconstruct girlboss without stating girlboss and calling out that it's toxic lol 🥲#(4) takeomi is sort of a bad person but is still a person (who gave me psychological damage *affectionate*)#ok ykw? maybe i can have some peace of mind knowing yuri and wlw sex aren't popular tags in ao3......
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I feel like i do have to say, btw, that I'm not actually taking requests at the moment. I say this because I've been getting a few more requests these past few days, and some people are sending them more than once after I ignored their first ask, which is really not pleasant. I'm not mad at anyone!!!! I kind of understand the confusion since I did take a rather big batch of requests the other day and I've been answering some asks with drawings, but those are isolated instances and do not give you permission to harass me trying to get me to draw whatever you want.
If you want a drawing from me then you'll just have to wait until I specifically ask for requests, and if even then I don't take your request, well that's too bad, but I don't owe you any art, sooooo yea
#also my brain works in a way in which the more im told to do something the less i want to do it nxksjslsn#so if you want me to draw something the worst you could do is send a request more than once lol#also ive gotten some people trying to gult trip me into drawing something for them like????? please go cry somewhere else i really dont care#ALSO BAHAHAHZGH#THOSE PEOPLE WHO TRY TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THEY'RE NOT ACTUALLY REQUESTING SOMETHING#SO THEY CAN GO 'oh no i wasnt asking you to do it i was just saying'#'hmmm i wonder how my oc would look like in your style 🤔🤔🤔'#idk dude youre free to try to copy it you have free will idc#in fact post it and tag me i want to see#anyways#enough rambling#back to drawing whatever my stupid and picky ass wants
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"reading under the red hood and it's pretty good i think" - jason todd fan who has only seen the cartoon adaptation of under the red hood
#getting my hands on the comic for utrh is cracking my entire brain open about werewolf fic like you don't understand#the cartoon movie was pretty tight but the comic is more robust. and yall the themes for werewolf fic...they're all coming together#now if only i could write the girls fighting FR I'M TOO SOFT YOU GUYS OTL#i'm just feeling insane over the first confrontation with bruce and how Jason tells him that 'gotham is evil'#and 'you have to fight her where she lives' and 'i live there' LIKE#it's only fueling my crazed impression that the end to Jason's philosophy has only two ends#when he's done what he's set out to do and rid the world of evil by cutting it out (which is futile; blind and toothless etc but details)#either: he changes his philosophy and becomes the very type of villain he hates or he dies himself. because he also deserves death#'i live there' ARE YOU KIDDING ME???#sorry if this is Not News to people or if Jason has had some serious growth vis a vis this entire mindset but like.#I'M INSANE ABOUT IT. I'M CHEWING ON IT FOREVER#and bruce is the wrong person to try to sway Jason off this path. theres way too much baggage too much history too many complicated feeling#but...tim...? >.>#tim i think has enough 'this is not my philosophy this is company policy and i'm the worlds okayest employee' energy to eventually do it#like obviously stuff would need to Happen for it to be possible lol but you guys. this is what made jaytim so tasty to me in the first plac#tim being capable of meeting jason halfway like bruce can't; tim being able to hold the conversation with jason without it collapsing#tim having rebuttals to jason's arguments that might actually get somewhere with him eventually...#i'm not saying it would be fast or easy or even make sense in canon lmao but think there's a lot of fic potential there owo#like tim's vicious streak is something jason would appreciate. :3c#local jaytim fic author rambles about jaytim in the tags once again more at eleven lol anyway#jason todd#dc
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I have a really important question, how do you feel about your art being used in edits ? And I don’t mean taking your whole amv/pmv and changing the audio , I mean taking a few clips here and there, I want to make sure I’m not crossing any boundaries or anyone else
honestly ive been goin a lil back and forth for a while on how i feel about it; at the moment ive kinda been like i dont really like it but i also dont rlly care enough for it to actually make me uncomfortable/upset ? and then i think maybe i should just let ppl use it for edits if they dont bother me Too much idk... The only thing i know for certain is (wht u already mentioned) do not go taking my whole video and changing the audio etc. But just a few clips agh im not quite sure yet Sorry for the wishy-washy answer I know that's probably frustrating :( I'd say for now I'd prefer if people don't use my art/animations in edits but if that answer changes I'll update it in my FAQ on my tumblr and prob reblog this to inform ppl of it
#anon#ppmpost#asks#if anyone has thoughts to share on this im open to hearin it cause im kinda stuck#ok i ended up doing a big ramble in tags so:#tl;dr i keep aruging with myself whether to give or not give permission for edits so for now pls dont until i figure it out orz#a part of me worries it would encourage ppl to take other ppl's work#but i guess the key is that u gotta get permission before u put stuff in edits#and then my own feelings abt it idk. feels kinda bwegh sometimes to see my stuff in edits#but also. i am not attached to my amvs/warrior cats enough to really be longterm bothered by it#so maybe i should just give permission and not interact with the edits so ppl can have their fun with edits n i just dont look at them lol#And then i also worry if i give permission but it does bother me much more later down the line#and then revoking permission at that point feels .. mean??? idk im allowed to but it feels weirdly like goin back on my word n then it#makes ppl who did make edits when they had permission look like dicks again when in actuality i just revoked permission for future edits or#smth like that#AGH ok anyways#faq
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y'all ever want to like a group SO BAD but just cannot get into the music ┐(´ー`)┌
#kpop#im gonna bury the group in the tags lol#but like ive listened to all there stuff since debut#love the rappers & their verses/vocals but like...the songs themselves are no good to me...#it kills me because its a boys planet group with a member who was in my top 3 😭#can you guess the group??? can you????#okay okay the tags are long enough to be hidden its TOZ 😮💨#hart was in my top 3 until he was eliminated & i loved watching takuto grow with each performance to become what he is now#I really think the two of them are so good & enjoy their rap/vocals but not like the song overall if that make sense???#NOT TO SHIT ON ANTHONY & YUTO i actually think they're strong preformers too#i just cannot fuck with the songs. it is COMPLETELY a me problem. im gonna keep trying tho lol#similar to how i felt about nmixx for a LONG time. i loved how to members sounded but found it hard to get into the songs until this last cb#anyways im RAMBLING in the tags lol no one is gonna read all this until they're super nosey like me#FIN posts
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time a flat circle why the hell am i usin the same loafers i bought for one cosplay of my fave antagonist for another fave antagonist
#snap chats#can i even call it cosplay. why are police sirens going off in the bg oh my god shut UP#anyway yeah ill elaborate. Super Snap Stalkers will remember my p4 era and will remember the time i did in fact do an adachi cosplay#i deleted the og post like an hour later. plus that blog's gone. but im sure some freak can find it if they dig hard enough#ew i think i was 17/18 in that pic (not at all that long ago) ok anyway.#i use the same loafers for my aoki outfit. and yeah i do Regularly wear my rgg outfits i TOLD YOU its functional cosplay i QUIT#just funny that like.... damn everything always goes back to square one LOL#these busted ass old ass loafers still rockin with me years later#if im feeling cheeky i think i will post all my rgg outfits actually. for halloween#hang on gotta be depressed and cringe for a moment#cause ive always liked cosplay but whenever i did it it never felt. Good Looking#like i always just felt like my face never worked for the charas i wanted to portray and so thats why i say with a heavy heart#that aoki's round-ass square-ass head is perfect LOL it makes me wanna throw up looking in the mirror#i got the same weird lips. ok not that squished Similar but Its Awful that he makes me feel comfortable with my face now#at least my eyebags arent double deckered... i at least look like i get sleep.. some days.#breaking !!!! objectively one of the most vile bitches in this franchise makes you feel comfortable with your body and existence#NAW to continue from last post if i had a webcam i prob coulda done a cosplay y7 stream LOL thatd be funny#anyway since this tag ramble is just pure cringe let me round it off with a final bit of cringe#the Forbidden Mention of my trans masato hc cause one reason why i have a Teehee over the thought is how raspy his voice is#and i only really now realized how right i was tonight because my prof called on me to speak and when i tried speaking DAWG.#the forbidden acknowledgement of Myself GROSS#BUT DAWG MY THROAT WAS FUCKIN CRUSTY it felt like sandpaper EW?? WATER FOR YOU?? christ. i hope that was just a one-time thing#ok im leaving now BYE
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Researching for my hazbin fic (A Cannibal's Guide on Living Comfortably) has also made me realize that my adoptive family (and me in relation to my birth family) actually suffer from cultural loss. And this ties to my adoptive family being half french like Alastor.
This is sort of a personal ramble about my experiences and how it relates to cultural loss. Just thoughts I've been having that's making me rethink a lot of things from my life.
(Technically I'm not but that's a whole other thing. I was found as a kid and never allowed to learn about my birth family or heritage so yeah. I'm just whatever people say I am. Means I have double the cultural loss, both from the people that raised me and my own! Yippee! <- sarcastic)
Both my parents are half french and grew up in small communities where there was very very high English vs French tensions. Both of my parents parent's decided that it would be best to give their children the easiest life they could so they raised them as English as possible.
They weren't allowed to learn french and were punished if they tried (both by family and the community. It was a lot worse where my mother grew up), and weren't allowed to continue any traditions, songs, or anything culturally French. Assimilation was the best chance at a future, but meant that they lost all ties to culture that wasn't acceptably English/colonial.
They were born a long time ago, so this was during the era of corporal punishment in school, my mother wasn't allowed to wear pants, my father was punished repeatedly for using his left hand, etc. They were also forced into churches because that's what The Good English Do, even though neither are religious now nor would they have been forced to if the hatred against the french hadn't been so strong.
The small town my mom grew up in had a segregated neighbourhood for the french, and her family fought to cut all ties. Her mother was french but was forced to only speak English and cut all ties to her family.
I don't know as much for my father, but it was his father that refused to teach or share anything French because of the hardships he went through growing up (he also ran away and lied about his age to fight in the war too young, so he likely faced heavy trauma too)
While neither of my parents are half english, they were able to pass as english at the expense of their cultural identity and connection to their family. I've spoken to my mother about it and she says white culture is genocide, but I don't know if she realizes how it hurt her too (not to say the french did nothing wrong. They were colonialists and took part in genocide as well)
It's weird to realize. I was put in french immersion and while my french isn't great, I've realized that my parents did that to give me the only opportunity I could have to learn about their lost culture. They learned a bit from me and would use french words and sometimes share translation quirks their parents had caused by learning english after french.
I grew up thinking that because I don't know anyone I'm related to that i had no culture. I've realized that part of the reason it feels that way is because anything non-English was forced out of people. The more you could pass as english the heavier the assimilation is. To join the oppressors is to sacrifice culture, history, and family, but that's a choice both my parents parent's made and it's one we all struggle with.
As far as I go, I don't know my precise ancestry, but I do know my birth grandparents fled from a country that was dealing with fighting for independence and a highly struggling economy. I'm not supposed to know that or know anything more, but from what I can guess and based on what people have said I look like (closest thing I got) my ancestors dealt with fighting against being colonized for centuries, their culture and history actively being destroyed and demonized, and the language borderline dead because of it (isnt the british imperialism great? <- sarcasm). A bit over a century ago it would have been the cause of much prejudice and hatred, but like my adoptive parents parent's they traded culture for assimilation.
It's.... weird. There's not much I can change nor not much I can do with this information movie forwards. It has helped me connect my experiences more with that of cultural loss, especially those felt by others who don't know any birth family. Because I pass as white (I do not know my genetics, so I'd rather say that than call myself white. Especially because what ancestry I do know I have weren't historically called white and faced discrimination by white folks) I previously thought these experiences could not apply to me.
As a side note, I do hold the belief that orphans like me, or others that lacked any family for much of their lives are part of a "hidden" minority. I faced a lot of extra difficulties, social pushback, and was treated worse than my peers because I am an orphan, as did different foster siblings I had over the years. Adoption means either never speaking about my life to pass as "normal" or speak about it and face the consequences. Every person's experiences are different when it comes to this, but it really changed the expectations adults had on me and forced me to be more mature, resilient, perfectionistic and less reactive to my peers. The expectation was if you acted bad you didn't appreciate having a home and therefore didn't deserve it. What others kids could get away with can be what loses your home when you grow up an orphan.
Anywho, circling back to my fic I'll be adding some elements of my experiences in there too. Not as the main focus, mind you, but some of the struggles of adapting/assimilating to the majority to avoid discrimination will be present (as well as some French (more focused on Creole French history. It was something a few of my french teachers focused a lot on) ). Just background info, I'm as of yet undecided on how much of a character study it will all be, but if it does go into it more then these themes will be present
#syncrovoid.txt#personal#ramble#delete later#to delete later#cultural loss#colonialization#british imperialism#at least mention of it anyways#tw cultural loss#tw foster care#foster care#actually orphan#idk if that is a tag but perhaps others can relate#ignore thos lol ill probably delete later and be sad i shared such personal information#also been thinking about this because my family recipes is just depression era food#literally got adopted and then had to eat like it was the great depression#and spent more years living in unfinished homes than anything else#electricity? a privilege. running water? as long as one faucet works that's good enough. heat? wood fires. food? stole some sometimes lol#upside is that i have a lot of skills and whatnot. downside is that SOMEHOW i grew up like it was nearly a century ago???#literally didn't get a phone until like 2 years ago#grew up spending most of my time in the woods too. modern world? nope! forest!#ALSO THR LOSS ONE FEELS WHEN THEY SEE PEOPLE TEAR DOWN THEIR FOREST IS REAL AND INTENSE AND THE WORST LOSS I HAVE#also while my adoptive mother doesn't practice vodou she is considered a spiritual healer that shares ties with vodou#it is a closed thing tho. either their own spiritual practice or a cult so. but it doesn't hurt anyone and aims to heal but can be demonized#obviously not the same HOWEVER the feelings of bring in that environment and then suddenly not and realizing that basically no one#knows anything about it? has insulted it at best or will think you're crazy for talking about it? having a different point of view on life#because of it?#like. obviously it isn't the same thing and i can claim not level of connection to vodou nor the history of those who practice#but is sorta get it. kinda. in my own way. it absolutely sucks
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