#catch me months from now if I’m still in the fandom rereading this fic like a madman
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too-young-to-fall-in-love · 5 months ago
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Just Like Me
summary:
From the convenient timing to his inability to stop talking about Paris, talk of their relationship is inevitable. Still, the chasm between them remains. While Napoleon hopes to cross it, he knows he’s only good for making things worse.
Or, the ending events of Amor Magnus Doctor Est - Chapter Five, but from Napoleon’s perspective.
notes:
After reading Amor Magnus Doctor Est for the umpteenth time, I started thinking about how Napoleon would react to the events towards the end of chapter 5.
If you haven’t read the fic, PLEASE DO SO!! I PROMISE you will not regret it (although it may take over your entire life and influence your trip to Chicago, but that’s probably something that only happens to yours truly). However, you don’t have to read the original fic to understand this standalone.
excerpt:
The bitter cold runs its sharp tendrils up his spine and he can’t hold back a slight shiver. Even faced with Illya’s so-called inhuman warmth, it’s a force to be reckoned with. He knows he should move; that they either need to continue this walk or he needs to duck out. At the same time, nothing could convince him to move from this moment.
As if to root him to said moment, Illya’s arm wraps gently around his shoulders, pulling him minutely closer. He blames it on instinct, the way he immediately slides his arm behind Illya’s waist and leans closer. Illya is warm, he notes, his presence soothing and achingly familiar even if they’ve never shared a moment quite like this. He finds himself hoping it will last forever. A voice in his head is quick to retort that he doesn’t deserve it, though it sounds close enough to Victoria’s voice that he steadfastly ignores it.
“You really are warm, Peril,” he murmurs, blaming the sudden looseness of his tongue on the pitch blackness of the night sky and the way it seems to absorb his words, or perhaps the alcohol that really had no impact on him. He’s terrified, though, of the real reason: he feels safe here.
read more on ao3
inspired by Amor Magnus Doctor Est by @cha-melodius
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knightofameris · 1 year ago
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hi ames !! long time no see!
was just thinking about you :] i don’t even know if you’re going to see this or respond to this, i scrounged around to find your blog cause i think you changed your url? if i’m not mistaken? sorry if i’m wrong! it’s been a long two years and life’s been really really busy. it really catches up to you, huh?
if you do respond to this, do let me know how you are! i really loved talking to you back then, more than you know :’) how’s everything going for you? what are your interests now?
oh yeah! i still think about that haikyuu fic you once recommended me KWNDWKDJ the fly high, baby! one. i came across it the other day and thought of you—maybe that’s why i’m doing this, heh. anyways i hope you’re doing well and that you’re drinking water and making sure your pillow is cool at night :)
see you around, lovely!
<3🧸
sent in April 5th 2023
Oh my god I’ve missed you! And everyone for that matter. I just thought what the hell I’ll check my inbox for fun. I finally logged into tumblr after a long time. I’ve definitely changed my pfp from haikyuu to genshin but I don’t recall changing my URL! (I’m not even that obsessed with genshin anymore lol)
It really has been a long two years… I’ll be 23 in less than a month and it’s crazy I started this blog at 19. If you see this my lovely teddy bear anon, I hope you also tell me how you’ve been!
The last two years was a blast, I moved out, worked, paid my own way through college and rent. I graduated, granted it took five years but I did take a bit off from university! And I am more than thankful. I’m still looking for a job, I’ve since moved home but my parents can no longer hold anything against me now. I might switch career paths from what I studied but I’ll stick to what I did for at least 3 years for now. I have a boyfriend of one year (plus two months!) now and he absolutely adores when I gush about my fandoms and theories. Vice versa when he talks about his interests (mainly video games and the best I can explain which is STONKS but like for CSGO [at least currently]). Literally he’s a man written by a woman that came out of my fanfic dreams. Oh and we play games with each other sometimes and watch all the anime xD
During the past two years I was pretty burnt out I had no obsession which made me extra espresso depresso. But I’m on medication and doing a lot better that I’m able to once again be obsessed with a fandom (main: one piece. Secondary: Honkai star rail).
And that’s the tldr! Adulthood sucks but my friends and I still text and catch up when we can. And my boyfriend lives about 30 minutes away which isn’t too bad for me :3 (pre moving back home and even now that I’m back home xD)
I think about fly high baby sometimes… I still have yet to reread it cus DAMN did that hit me in the feels.
I hope you’re doing well too. I hope life is treating you in the way it should! If you see this, pls let me know how you’re doing!!! I really do think about everyone’s whose paths have crossed with mine during this journey.
Sleep well <3
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gingersnappish · 3 years ago
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KYLUX RECS 2020-2021
My Kylux Recs in the last year (Aug, 20 2020 - Aug 20 2021)
SO. MUCH. GOOD. FIC!!! We are really lucky in this fandom to have so much good stuff to read!
Fic is part of the lifeblood of fandom, in my opinion-it shares new ideas and AUs and fleshes out the characters and most of all it inspires and entertains us all and engenders all sorts of feels for the characters-it’s part of what keeps us shipping! So a big ‘thank you’ to all the fic authors out there who work so hard at their craft and are generous enough to share it with all of us!
The following list is by no means comprehensive-there are LOTS and lots more very good fics that have been published in the last year that I haven’t read. I just wanted to offer up a few recs from what I know I enjoyed so far! (I also have more than fits on one list to rec-I’ll try and do another list soon!) As always, I rec based on personal taste, and I highly encourage reading all the tags/warnings on any given work to make sure it’ll be to your taste! -
The Flirtation Of Flowers 
DaisyChainz
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29771553
Words: 5,917
Rating: Teen
Summary:Kylo runs his farm's stall at the Farmer's Market every weekend. He has a new customer, a gorgeous redhead that is curious about the meanings of his bouquets. Kylo doesn't know anything about that, so he makes stuff up to keep the man coming back every week.
My thoughts on the rec: This is the cutest slice of a modern AU kylux-it really nails Kylo’s personality as a (slightly awkward) flirt who is trying his best and just really likes the redhead who keeps coming to buy flowers. Just a sweet little fic all ‘round!
all i have to do is dream
kyluxtrashcompactor
https://archiveofourown.org/works/18709426/chapters/44373613
Words: 11,456
Rating: Teen
Summary:Armitage Hux has been going to the same bar every Thursday for the last year, nursing a crush on the gorgeous, unobtainable bartender, Kylo Ren. He finally gets up the courage to ask him out, only to find out he has some unusual competition: the memory of a red-haired boy from Kylo's past, who Kylo swears is the soulmate that got away from him.A fill for this SoftKyluxKinks prompt:Anonymous asked: Benarmie with young Ben (around 11 years old) having a huge crush on Armitage (16). Hux finds it adorable but mostly ignores him because he's a kid. Flash forward a few years when Ben is all grown up and Hux is the one with a huge crush.
My thoughts on the rec: This is another really cute young modern AU! I like the idea that Ren has liked Hux forever, but this deals nicely with the age gap and that Hux really wouldn’t notice Ren back until they are both appropriately older. And they make such a cute couple-it’s a great progression from just ‘he’s hot’-like, there is a lot more to them than that in the end!
Homecoming 
sigo 
(really, read anything by sigo, it’s all my favorite)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/27150808
Words: 13,450
Rating: Explicit
Summary:“We’re off the next two weeks, you know.”“Yes, I know.” There was emergency construction scheduled to fix cracking asphalt too near a pipe in the center of campus. The buses couldn’t run, and that phenomenon was the only thing that ever cancelled classes. Halloween was dead center in the unplanned time off school, and every bar within a fifteen mile radius would be untenable as the students celebrated. Hux was planning on staying home, catching up on grading. He was rather looking forward to an opportunity to reread his favorite novels. They were already stacked by the couch in preparation.“My family always throws a Halloween party and they got word that I could come this year,” Kylo said, shuffling his feet. He looked almost bashful.“Ren, it’s midnight,” Hux sighed at his infuriating coworker. “Get to it.”“I may have informed my entire family previously that we were dating.”
My thoughts on the rec: One of my all-around fav fics from the last year’s worth of my reading material! It’s got the modern AU vibes down pat without losing their personalities or making them too OOC, it’s got the fake-dating trope done REALLY well, it’s got a wonderful creepy vibe strung delicately throughout for the Halloween haunted setting, it’s got plot and make-outs (and more). Can’t recommend highly enough!
Thaw
thesevioletdelights
https://archiveofourown.org/works/28557180/chapters/69982587
Words: 14,316
Rating: Explicit
Summary:They have managed cooperation - efficient cooperation, even - in these past months, which is more than enough. And already nothing short of a miracle for both of them.Still. Ren was a fool to think he could simply run off and keep Hux in the dark.-----When Ren goes missing on a mysterious planet, Hux sets out to find him. He doesn't yet know that he just might find himself.
My thoughts on the rec: This, like all of violet’s fic, is HOT! Like, scorching vibes between them! It’ll draw you in and not let you go ‘til after the boys are ‘done’! And, like all of violet’s fics, the character voices and personalities are also impeccable!
Rocks Break Gifts
elderbwrry
https://archiveofourown.org/works/25840237/chapters/62777839
Words: 16,706
Rating: Mature
Summary:The Rebellion has been crushed, a coup affected, and Supreme Leader Ren and his Grand Marshall Hux have settled into a domestic routine as the joint rulers of the Galaxy. Kylo wants nothing more, now, than to make his relationship with Hux official, but he can't seem to rise to Hux's challenge of a satisfactory proposal.Or, the five times Kylo proposes, and the one time Hux says yes.
My thoughts on the rec: Ahhhhh, the premise in this one is great! Like, I don’t wanna spoil the plot reveal at the end, so I can’t say too much, but there is a really good reason throughout the thing that this is a Five Times type fic and it works! It works so well and while we spend the fic ‘with’ Kylo, when we find out what Hux’s deal is, it is so satisfying! I Paint My Dreams
Marlon
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26685907/chapters/65090566
Words: 26,122
Rating: General Audiences
Summary:Kylo Ren is struggling to make a name for himself in the art world but as the grandson of the great Anakin Skywalker, a legendary pop artist of the 1950s and 60s, the weight of his famous family and his own expectations is a lot to bear.After he’s rejected from a prestigious exhibition because his installations “don’t fit the theme”, Kylo heads to the pub to drink away his disappointment. Later that night as he stumbles home, he’s set upon by some would-be thieves but before they can take what’s left of his money, he’s saved by a strange man with unbelievable Medusa-like powers. The ethereally beautiful man, Armitage Hux, is a visitor from Oweynagat and he has a simple proposition for Kylo - room and board in exchange for making all Kylo’s artistic dreams come true.Sounds easy - what could possibly go wrong?
My thoughts on the rec: Oh goodness, where to start? The Irish Mythology and Fae aspect of this fic is superbly woven throughout the whole thing and the author makes it work really well! Like, this is such a unique and original take on the kylux pair, I love them, especially Fae!Hux in this! And the plot is solid and you get invested really heavily in how they are gonna wind up-at least I did! There’s some beautiful language in this-descriptions and dialogue! And I have a soft spot for Artist!Kylo!
Dating a Monster
mysticmilks
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26703904/chapters/65139415
Words: 30,401
Rating: Explicit
Summary:Ben Solo was raised to be a demon hunter, as everyone in his family has been before him. He wanted nothing more than to prove that he was worthy to his family. He lied to them and went on an unauthorized mission to catch and kill an elusive incubus. His search led him to Arkanis University, one of the most prestigious schools in the country.He was sure the mission was going to be easy, before he met the cute freshman Armitage Hux. This meeting would change the fate of both of them.
My thoughts on the rec: Add another really good one to the slightly-creepy-kylux subgenre filled with demons and dark powers! This is a great depiction of Kylo as a very determined demon hunter and Hux as a very unique quarry! I love the tension in parts of this too-well crafted! The Green Ribbon
xzombiexkittenx, Lilander (art)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/28630845/chapters/70176921
Words: 39,679
Rating: Explicit
Summary:When Ben was fifteen he left the Jedi temple and took extreme measures to prevent the shadowy creature that infiltrated his thoughts from dragging him to the dark side. What he did left him with a great deal of chronic pain and removed his most valuable weapon, but Ben got his stubbornness from every side of the family, even the adopted ones, and he was determined to find and kill the creature.Now Senator Amidala of Naboo, Ben uses his position to make the galaxy a less awful place when he can, but being senator also gave him very useful contacts in his search for the creature. When he met Major Hux of the First Order, Ben thought he could get game-changing information out of him, one way or another, but things rarely go Ben's way and it got complicated much faster than Ben had prepared for. It's never a good idea to mix sex and politics, but Ben takes his fun where he can get it.
My thoughts on the rec: I feel like this is a very original take on ‘Senator Amidala’ Ben, at least from the stuff I’ve read-many props to the author for such a fleshed out universe, filled with likeable, believable OCs, a wonderful plot, great character motivations and voices, and a take on our main man Ben that pulled me in from the get-go! He’s sorta magnetic (in universe and to the reader)! And the sexual tension and sexy bits are very well done! I’m rooting for Ben and Hux in this, on opposites sides though they may be! Comfort Zone
LydiaBSlade
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26783797/chapters/65338117
Words: 66,766
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Hux is running away. He meets a tall, dark, and somewhat annoying stranger at the airport.
My thoughts on the rec: Travel writing at its best; also kylux fic at it’s best! Young, modern them trying to find their places in the world and finding each other in the process is so cute and almost tenderly done in this! This is a gentle, friendly version of modern Kylo that I fell in love with, right along with Hux! And by the way, I’m not kidding when I say travel writing-the southeast asian setting is vivid and enchanting in it’s rich detail! Outnumbered, Outgunned, Outmanuevered, and Winning
Coriesocks, Ellalba (art)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/28217253/chapters/69144672
Words: 80,372
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Hux’s plans for ridding the First Order of Kylo Ren are ruined when Ren discovers his deception. With no choice but to flee, Hux ends up in the hands of the Resistance. It’s not ideal, but at least he gets a break from Ren. Until he doesn’t.When Ren starts appearing in Hux’s dreams, Hux wonders if the stress of being a spy has taken more of a toll on his sanity than he’d previously thought. And if that wasn’t bad enough, he has to deal with constant pestering from Poe and a mildly inconvenient kidnapping. Of course, it’s Ren who saves him in the end. There’s clearly no getting away from him.
My thoughts on the rec: A really interesting take on something that is both a alternate rewrite of what could have happened instead of TROS and a TROS-fix-it of sorts! Hux is stellar in this, we really get a good look in his head and Coriesocks handles it masterfully! I really liked how their relationship develops gradually in this, it’s Enemies To Lovers at its best! Bloodlines and Brandy
EmperorsVornskr
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22989934/chapters/54963601
Words: 130,785
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Sebastian Hux is a native of the Deep South who loathes his origins, and seeks to pull himself from the stifling quagmire, but his bloodlines call him back to the property that has blessed- and plagued- his family for centuries.Unspoken secrets fill his inheritance, skeletons fill every closet, and a monster lurks in the shadows, tied to two bloodlines joined by fate, greed and hatred that has spanned across generations.As Hux learns about his family’s tainted legacy that has now become his burden, he discovers there is more involved than just having to be the curator of property that the locals shun with hushed whispers, that he has inherited more than an estate- he also has a terrible and loathsome horror tied to his very blood.When curious young locals come calling, and Hux’s past tormentors come out of the woodwork to simper and scrabble for a piece of the newly rich, the body count begins to rise, the smell of blood in the old slaughterhouse is getting harder to hide, and Hux realises that he will need to find a better way to pacify the hulking shadow that perches on his roof every night before his hometown’s tiny population is completely decimated.
My thoughts on the rec: This one is EPIC! Like, in length (which it needs every word of for the story that is going on here) and in the great portrayal of Kylo and Hux and their relationship! It’s super original too-not just the plot but the depiction of Kylo as something ‘other’ and the Southern Gothic vibes, and Hux-this is a wonderful take on Hux! He loses none of his edge, in my opinion and yet the reader is ‘with’ him all the way through, rooting for him! The descriptions are killer too-EmperorsVornskr has a felicity of expression that kept me reading (albeit in more than one sitting). Also worth noting that this is a wonderful and carefully handled depiction of trans!Hux, in my admittedly cis opinion. The theme of finding your tribe/your people/and your special someone in this, albeit in sometimes unexpected places is warming! I enjoyed every moment of this fic! Gravity Well
kyluxtrashcompactor
https://archiveofourown.org/works/13062495/chapters/29879001
Words: 176,421
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Snoke is gone, but his death has solved nothing between Hux and Kylo Ren. The First Order's trust in their leaders wanes as they vie for power over one another, and if they cannot learn to work together, they may both lose everything they've worked for.Forging that alliance after years at each other's throats will not be as easy as letting the past die, however—they will face subterfuge, enemies in the shadows, treachery, and being stranded on a hostile planet with creatures out of nightmare, barely escaping constant danger with their lives while having only one another to rely on.And that is just the beginning.
My thoughts on the rec: I realize this one is very well known by now, but I’ll rec it again for good reason! It’s quality long-fic! I love how competent Hux is in this surival-style fic, even without the Force to save him! And Kylo is a badass! kyluxtrashcompactor is a master of the slow burn here and we’re even lucky enough to be getting a sequel (although Gravity Well will also stand perfectly on its own). The writing in this will draw you in and not let you go!
----
That’s all for now! I hope you enjoy reading these as much as I did!  
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forestlingincorporated · 4 years ago
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Teen Titans #29
So, one of my favorite types of fics to read is Different First Meeting fics between Jason and Tim. I looooove reading Enemies To Caretaker, of which I fed handsomely on fairly recently. Big Brother Jason fics give me warm fuzzies, and Tim Drake needs a hug, and I feel like if these two actually got to know each other and worked past their preconceptions, they’d get along surprisingly well. And Still A Jason!Robin Fanboy Tim Drake is just a fun concept. 
Also, it just FEELS right for the middle siblings to band together after Damian comes along, lets get those abandonment issues in the party. 
So, for mysterious and very secret TimKon Week 2021 reasons, I was rereading some Teen Titans, and I stumbled over the Original Tim+Jason First Meeting, and I just sort of wanted to talk about some interesting things I found in there rereading it after several years. 
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First thing right off the bat, when reading fics, normally it’s either the Core Four at the tower that Jason puts to sleep, or it’s Tim alone for the night. In the comic, none of Tim’s close friends are even at the tower, Jason waits for Bart and Cassie to leave, and Conner actually hasn’t come around for an in-universe month, because this is after the Superboy’s Birthright arc where Lex mind controls Conner. 
The people Jason knocks out were his own teammates when he was a Titan. He specifically says he never got to work with Beast Boy or Cyborg directly, so he doesn’t feel bad electrocuting them, but he feels bad putting Raven under much more gently because she used to worry for him. 
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Tim has just gotten off the phone with Bruce when Jason shows up. It seems like Bruce might’ve been picking Tim up, but something’s come up with Martian Manhunter going missing, so Tim tells him he’ll catch a ride with Cyborg. 
This is actually really interesting to me, because it’s a small moment of Bruce letting Tim down. It’s a conversation he’s probably had with his biological father many times when Jack’s canceled on him. 
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Gonna acknowledge this abomination real quick. This is So Stupid, and I’m glad as a fandom we just all agreed Jason didn’t do this. It makes me ask so many questions. Where did he get that oversized Robin costume? Why’d he tear off his perfectly good clothes? Why did he do this? Why the yellow tights? WHY? 
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A lot of things are actually happening here that are actually Really Interesting if you just look past the stupid fucking outfit. Because this comic actually flew really close to greatness, they just ended up dropping the ball by not continuing to do more with it. 
First off, Jason doesn’t beat around the bush. He’s immediately like “yeah, yeah, yeah, Red Hood, whatever, I’m Jason Todd, bitch! Fight me.” 
Secondly, Jason’s done his homework. He knows A LOT about Tim. He knows his name, he knows he has a dad, he knows he went to prep school, and he knows the story of how Tim became Robin. How he GOT that last bit of information, I’d honestly like to know. But even HAVING the information isn’t enough; he’s still letting his preconceived ideas get in the way. The surface level information about Tim’s life only served to fuel his jealousy and anger (thanks, Lazerus Pitt!). He’s so focused on Tim’s privilege that he’s looked past evidence of hardship; if he’s done this much research on Tim, he’s no doubt seen records of multiple boarding schools, lengthy travel records, news reports, a death certificate.... He can’t even bring himself to BELIEVE parts of Tim’s story that aren’t lining up with his world view, like HOW he became Robin. 
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Jason has convinced himself that what he’s discovered about Tim and the period of time when Jason was dead - the fact that Bruce was spiraling after his death, that his family mourned him, that Tim had to step up to the plate at a weird suicide prevention buddy system - is all a lie. Despite the fact that he’s beating Tim’s ass, he speaks to him with the assumption that Tim’s a child who’s been manipulated and lied to. 
Meanwhile, it must be SO PAINFUL for Tim to hear Jason say these things: I bet he said the same thing to you he said to me, didn’t he? That you have the talent to make a difference in Gotham. That he needed someone he could trust in his war on crime. That you were one of a kind. The light in his darkness.
Bruce never said any of that to Tim. Bruce rejected Tim, he didn’t want Tim, and begrudgingly accepted Tim. 
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Going back to Jason waiting for Tim’s other young teen friends to leave the tower before going in, only drugging his own former teammates, is much of his anger seems directed at THEM, not just Bruce. To Jason, it looks like they didn’t mourn him either, he has no statue. I find it interesting that he smashes Donna Troy’s statue, who died after him, and I believe she came back before he did. 
Unless he was keeping track of the news from the League of Assassins, to Jason, Donna never died. 
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And most importantly? Tim shuts Jason down. Tim “Bitch, Please” Drake out here like: you’re a fucking idiot, he loved you to death, he barely let me audition for the role. 
Tim shows some deep resentment towards Jason in this scene. I mean... earned, Jason literally came into his house and starting hitting him, but Tim’s relationship towards the Idea Of Jason has gone through a few changes. At first Jason was ROBIN! THE BOY WONDER! And if maybe Tim thought Bruce wasn’t AS happy with Jason as he was with Dick, there was still SOME hero worship early on. But it only takes Bruce and Alfred and Dick using Jason’s death as a cautionary tale a few times to get Tim to see Jason AS a cautionary tale - the kind of Robin NOT to be. But the more Tim craved Bruce’s paternal attention and approval, and the more Bruce withheld it or made Tim work for it, knowing that Bruce did that, in part, because of his love and grief for his dead son (Tim having an actual living breathing father plays a part, too), and those feelings towards Jason have started to fester.
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Jason can’t let it go, though, he thinks the concept of Robin was a mistake and had always been a mistake, and if he can hurt Tim, so can Scarecrow, Penguin, The Joker. 
This is a good time to bring up that one thing I think Jason probably doesn’t know is Tim is injured. It is a little over a month since since Conner shattered Tim’s right arm. Tim is still healing from a comminuted fracture in his forearm. And looking at this picture that is - ah, yes, that is the injured arm Jason is swinging Tim by. Tim is probably healed by now, the cast IS off and he’s a child, but bones don’t fully return to full strength for 3-6 months. 
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Jason is conflicted. This is clearly, in part, a fucked up way of “protecting” what he sees as a manipulated child, to convince him to leave Bruce. But there’s also clearly some deep, deep jealousy thrown into the mix to complicate matters and cloud his judgement. Ultimately, Jason isn’t there to kill Tim. Tim would be dead if he was. He’s there to “beat some sense into him,” and he ultimately fails, and fails badly. 
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Tim is found by the older Titans, awake by now, though it seems Jason knocked him out to, uh, fuck with the memorial chamber, and Tim... does not beat around the bush. No secret identities here just “yeah, Jason Todd beat the shit out of me.” 
And their reactions are HILARIOUS. 
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One more little sidebar, in the comic, Jason gets in with a D.N.A. check that never removed him from its permissions. Usually in fic this is a unique pass code. I’m not sure which version I like better, honestly. There’s something about Jason physically inputting a code that accepts him even though he’s supposedly dead that I really like, and just feels better than a dna scan. A dna scan sounds SAFER, sure, but there’s something about the Titans leaving in an honest SECURITY RISK out of sentiment that I like. 
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Lastly, I really like how it ends. Jason honestly thinks Tim IS a good Robin, and it seems like Jason’s done some research on the core four, mentioning Tim’s “real friends” again while the “camera” is on Conner and Cassie, suggesting that Jason KNOWS about them and possibly that targeting the tower while they were gone maybe wasn’t an accident or out of convenience, but fully intentional. And again, Jason’s real problem is highlighted: he feels alone, forgotten, unmemorable, no family, no friends. 
Thank you for coming to my TedTalk. 
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jerakeenc · 3 years ago
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June-Sept Re-recs (12)
This is the best of the best of the best of what I've reread in the last couple of months. I end up downgrading a lot of the fics I reread because even my tastes change over the years. These are the ones that stay awesome, even after many rereads.
(For comparison, I put a little sparkle ✨ image next to the most perfectest (yup!) fics in my regular rec posts. The fics in this post are all sparkle.)
I included my first-read date. The calendar says 2011 was ten years ago but I have my doubts.
Now We've Learned To Kiss The Sky by torakowalski
MCU | Clint/Coulson | Explicit | 13,800 words
“I’m going to ask you something,” Phil says and then pauses and doesn’t ask Clint anything at all. “Yeah?” Clint asks, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the table. “Is it kinky?” It isn’t, obviously; Phil never has a problem suggesting anything when it comes to sex. Phil shakes his head. He looks up, catching and holding Clint’s eyes. Clint doesn’t make any more smartass comments. “Marry me?” Phil asks.
First read in 2012. It's still so lovely.
Disclosures by gqgqqt
MCU | Clint/Coulson | Teen | 67,900 words
Phil Coulson is miserable, distrusted by most of SHIELD, and still doesn't remember why. It's only going to get worse before it gets better.
(2012) I didn't think I was going to like this, this time around. But nope. Still perfect.
Quriosity by dr_girlfriend
James Bond | Bond/Q | Explicit | 79,900 words
Bond finds himself increasingly curious about his enigmatic Quartermaster.
(2014) Very very good and pretty much the prototype of what I want out of the bond/q fandom.
Out of the Dead Land (orphaned on ao3)
MCU | Bucky/Steve | Mature | 62,700 words
Someone is building machines that look and act like people. Meanwhile, the Winter Soldier tries to be Bucky Barnes.
(2014) Brilliant H/C
All the Rules to Break by foxxcub
Inception | Arthur/Eames | Explicit | 27,700 words
A notorious serial killer returns after a three-year hiatus, reminding Detective Arthur Moss of the infamous case he couldn't close. But when the FBI becomes involved, Arthur is forced to work side-by-side once again with Special Agent Daniel Eames, a man who knows Arthur better than Arthur himself will ever admit. Both men must confront their past and heal old wounds in order to bring a psychopath to justice.
(2011) I love this AU. Always have, always will.
I've Got Nothing To Do Today But Smile (The Only Living Boy in New York) by gyzym
Inception | Arthur/Eames | Teen | 19,860 words
Arthur's a corporate lawyer, Eames owns the coffee shop across the street, and all good love stories start with a quadruple shot latte.
(2011) Another AU I will love forever. Still amazing.
Scattered Pieces of My Mind (orphaned on ao3)
Hockey RPF | Kane/Toews | Teen | 22,580 words
After one scandal too many, Patrick Kane gets traded. Eventually it stops being the worst thing that's ever happened to him.
(2014) And this here is the prototype for my favorite H/C scenario. I feel like this rec list may be giving a bit too much away on my state of mind these days.
we were even after all, even in enmity (orphaned on ao3)
Hockey RPF | Kane/Toews | Mature | 60,000 words
“Jonathan,” Q says solemly. Something in his tone gives Jonny pause. He sits up straighter, waiting for the end of the sentence. “I regret to inform you that you’ve been traded to the St. Louis Blues. It’s been an honor and a pleasure working with you the past few years, and you will be sorely missed. Please clean out your locker before you leave today.” “That’s what Kaner said in your meeting?” Jonny asks, feeling numb. “That’s why it took so long? He was convincing you to trade me?”
(2014) Yup, you guessed it. H/C, angst, whump. Perfection.
Shelter by harriet_vane
Social Network RPF | Jesse/Andrew | Teen | 63,500 words
From the kinkmeme prompt: Some sort of AU vaguely based on Shelter! For whatever reason, Jesse has to take care of Hallie and give up his dream of being an actor. He ends up working in a dead end job when former, now successful friend (Andrew) returns home. They fall in love, etc, only Jesse can't go away with him because he has a responsibility to his family. CUE ANGST.
(2011) I remembered the bare bones of this story and thought I probably wouldn't enjoy it as much now... but it turned out to be excellent. Really cute AU.
here comes the sun by oflights
Social Network | Mark/Eduardo | Explicit | 56,600 words
This is a story about growing up, sad 70's rock songs, too much hair gel, "Maxwell's Silver Hammer", a baby with curly hair, a Geiger counter, a dog that isn't named Max, the Chicken Dance, Cheerios, pepper-spray, drugs, sex, and a stuffed chicken named Cluckerberg, nicknamed Cluck. or: Mark raises Sean's accidental baby, and I write the fluffiest thing ever.
(2011) And then there's this one... I mean, who'd want to read about Mark Zuckerberg in 2021, right? I do apparently. This story still gets five huge stars from me, implausible setup and all. It's endearing, romantic, super cute.
All The Stars And Bleeding Hearts by torakowalski
Social Network RPF | Jesse/Andrew | Explicit | 40,470 words
Notting Hill AU. In which Jesse runs a bookstore, Andrew is a famous film star and they’re both faily dorks in love.
(2011) Beautifully done!
and how many years I've missed you by estrella30
One Direction RPF | Harry/Nick | Explicit | 17,900 words
“So my god, Nick,” Harry folds himself down into a chair, his long legs splaying out under the table. His foot knocks into Nick’s and Nick kicks him back reflexively, his body remembering how to act around Harry even after all this time. “This is bloody crazy,” Harry shakes his head. “It’s been ages, yeah? It’s got to be like, what, five years or something?” Seven, Nick thinks to himself. You were just nineteen and I was twenty eight and it was seven years ago, not five. or, the one where Harry and Nick haven't seen each other or been in touch in seven years and then they meet up and things happen
(2014) More angst. Frickin' beautiful.
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tundrainafrica · 4 years ago
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Note: Instead of posting a meta or a fic today, allow me to take a quick break from that because I think I really need to appreciate some people here and the fandom overall.  
February 7, 2021. 
Today, I turned 24 and my boyfriend surprised me with a gift I think I’ll be taking to heart for a very long time. 
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The story behind the gift was as precious (or even more precious) as the gift itself and I thought I’d share it since it turned out some content creators were involved in this gift and I very much want to express how much this gift has defined this day for me and will place my 24th birthday as one of those birthdays I don’t think I’ll ever forget. 
Apparently, I had casually dropped both my tumblr and my ao3 account during one of our conversations and somewhere around November he had started looking through my bookmarks, my posts on tumblr and some of my interactions with people in the fandom.
I should have seen it coming. It had started with my boyfriend suddenly asking about my hyperfixation with Levihan.
Sav? Shipping? Sav? Binge reading ships and meta posts? Sav? Gushing about a fictional ship?
And I remember gushing about this with my seemingly uninterested boyfriend a long night after explaining what was oddly the most out of character thing for someone like me. 
I was sharing with him my metas and hcs and maybe, I was dropping a few of my favorite quotes along the way and it turned out he was interested. Suddenly he was asking me about my favorite fics, my favorite scenes. Suddenly, he was rereading my favorite fics with me and a few times, he was quoting those same scenes. I did find out he was looking through my blog when I got a random message from a really sketchy tumblr telling me to open my facebook. 
I suspected a few times that he could be planning something. December passed with nothing and eventually he stopped asking so I clocked that as a fevered dream or unnecessary assuming on my end and didn’t think too much of it after. 
It turned out my boyfriend had messaged my favorite authors about their fics and he commissioned one of my favorite artists (if not my favorite) to draw a few photos and bound them into a Levihan Anthology 
And it feels fucking amazing to receive something like this. To get Levihan which helped me through the worst of 2020, bound forever as a book I can just open up and read anytime. And I guess tearing up at receiving such a gift had me thinking of a lot of things at once (which were always at the back of mind) but I thought of sharing now. 
The past year wasn’t easy. Actually. don’t think it’s an understatement to say this past year was dog shit. With the covid pandemic and all plans after that cancelled, I’m sure we can all agree we had our ups and downs. 
I had a lot of my own plans completely thrown out the window for numerous reasons. I had plans of going to law school part time while building a career. And, I got a job right after college to make these plans come true. In September the law school I got accepted to (after working so damn hard the past year to get accepted) denied my appeal for night classes. I decided to drop my enrollment to focus on my career. A week later, my job laid me off. 
And for once in my life, I wasn’t going anywhere. And I lived in a house where everyone was always doing something and as soon as I lost my job I was pressured to find another one. But as we all know, searching for a job during this pandemic isn’t easy. I was still reeling after having dropped my enrollment just to focus on my job only to lose that job the week after with no prior notice. Everyone around me was busy doing their own thing. I had no one to talk to and for a while, I was falling into this pit of depression. 
My days consisted of me hiding under the covers of my bed in between the few interviews I would take day to day. Around that time, I decided to binge watch Attack on Titan as well 
I was never one to get hyper fixated in ships. In fact, this was the first ship since Royai and Victuuri which I have been so passionate. And this is a whole new level of passion. I think this is the first time I’ve ever written so much in this small amount of time. It was slow going. Just like Levi and Hange’s relationship, my fixation with this ship was a slowburn. 
Those days alone, I was reading fanfiction by the bundle, I was scrolling through the Levihan tag like a simp, leaving kudos in ao3 on a throwaway account and just scrolling through random people’s tumblr accounts. 
What happened during the one month? And when I was alone, sad, lonely and stagnant with no one to talk to, when everyone around me was living their own lives, all I had alone in the bedroom was Levi and Hange’s stories to keep me company between interviews. 
And the meta analyses and headcanons I had about their relationship were teaching me things. They were teaching me that life was never about how quickly you progress or how far you go. Maybe the real winners in life are the ones who can build good relationships, build relationships so mutually satisfying they keep each other growing and in those few moments reading, headcanoning ships, I did realize, maybe even as stagnant as I was at that moment, my life wasn’t dogshit. 
No one’s life is dogshit for a few small bumps along the way. Sometimes it just is part of the process of growing, learning to get past the worse, learning to manage relationships. And maybe it’s these relationships which make life worth living. Maybe it’s these struggles depicted in these stories and the bounce back. Maybe it’s the love, the life, the emotions so carefully described and depicted in every single story which makes life, life. 
With every single fic I read and every single fan art I scrolled through. Levihan was teaching my things about love, loss and life. 
Sometimes, these fandoms are the things which can catch people before they fall too low into something. These works and stories authors and artists shared so generously were what pulled me out of this state and are what inspired me to explore this relationship for all the potential its worth and maybe share my own stories and headcanons which people may learn a thing or two from or maybe just find some comfort and hope in.  
And these inspirations eventually evolved to writing. Writing 10,000 words in a day in between three interviews? I never was a writer but somehow, I found myself spending hours exploring the themes of love, loss and life with our favorite pairing 
I didn’t start writing out of nowhere. I didn’t start making metas out of nowhere. I needed the right inspiration, the right content to get me into this point where I could continue writing, reading, meta-ing, appreciating, headcanoning and everything in between.
And I just wanted to express my gratefulness to every single person in the fandom who had made it possible for me to pull out of that blackhole. Fandoms are underrated and I believe there are so many lessons which can be learned from the right content and from the right people. 
To the people who so willingly went along with my boyfriend’s little project: 
@faerielleart​ I saved A LOT of your art and they’re sitting in my google photos under a folder called Levihan and maybe I did share a few of your photos (the cheeks one and the beast titan one and the les miserables) ones to my boyfriend unsolicited just to show him how beautiful Levihan can be. Thank you so much for these beautiful drawings.
@lizaloveslevihan​ You were one of the first people I talked with in this fandom and dreams really was one of those stories that fucked me up a little bit, had me make a few misses on the commute on the way home one day but maybe it did have me explore the angst genre a little more, maybe it did have me explore Levi’s character a little more. 
@ariadneamare​ YELLOW. OH GOD. You know those letters? The ones which Hange left Levi at the end of the story? I ended up copying and pasting them and sending them to my boyfriend right after reading and I remember talking to him about this. We might be facing that same type of story in the future and I guess that ended up becoming a lot of foundation of our discussion and I guess, it’s just proof that there is so much to learn from fanfiction. There’s just so much to explore and fanfiction as a genre just does not get the credit it deserves.
@fanmoose12​​ I was exploring your works even before I started this tumblr up again. Maybe it was even your works which got me building my own headcanons from Levihan and writing from there. And I think I did leave a few anonymous messages telling you how I started exploring other genres because of your fics. Your works got my out of my dark place, it got me exploring a lot of other genres and for that I’m eternally grateful.
And somehow, my boyfriend picked that all up from late night discussions and one-on-one metas. Surprisingly, he wasn’t just playing along to humor his girlfriend. He was exploring the themes of love, life, loss and Levihan right along with me. (And got spoiled about Hange’s death along the way… Oops.) 
And I am eternally grateful for that and I made sure to shower him with a lot of kisses after he kept me in the loop with what has been going on these past few months with his sudden interest in Levihan.
And this huge thank you goes out to all content creators (authors, artists, gif creators, shitposters alike). Sometimes you never know who’s thinking about your work, who’s shoehorning your works and quoting them to their best friends. Sometimes, you never will find out but your work had pulled someone out of a blackhole which they’ve been stuck in and sometimes you never know that your work has been that seemingly small thing that had taught them a lesson in love, life or relationships. Sometimes, that one work turned out to be an inspiration which got them writing and sharing their own stories or making their own drawings
And I guess, the point is, keep writing. Keep drawing. Keep sharing pouring your love, passion and emotions into works of art because you never really know whose heart you touched or whose life you changed.
I have a job now. I decided to push law school a few years back and maybe take the time to work on myself now and maybe spend the next months or maybe years writing metas and fanfictions. I was pulled out of my hole. I was inspired. I have my own stories to tell and I don’t think I would have been here if I hadn’t spent the last few months reading fic after fic, meta after meta, appreciating art after art, 
So anyway, I just wanted to share some pics of my favortie fics, immortalized in one anthology, all organized by my boyfriend. And I think he made some great decisions with these.
(Bookbinding credits to @mayerwien)
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spectogram · 4 years ago
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 i was originally going to do a top 5 fics i read post to go with my top 5 lines post, but i can’t even begin to narrow down what i think of as my top 5 favorite fics i’ve read this year - especially since i’ve only been reading fics for carry on since....only august??
here’s some of what i managed to read over the last month in any case. my tbr and marked for later lists are still full of so many fics i need to catch up on still, but here are a few fics definitely worth a read:
***(PS I’m keeping my recs under a cut because several of these are NSFW and you should only read if you’re 18+! And either way you should definitely check tags :) )****
Keep On Keeping On by wavydnp (M)
simon and baz are back from america. now the healing can start.
This fic is SOOOOOO good, so sweet and so deeply realized. I love any writing that focuses on a specific element and blocks out the rest. We’re not going into a sweeping plot or the universe outside of Baz and Simon’s relationship - we’re getting a hyper-focused look at their sexualities, and what being intimate with the person you love is about. I think I need to reread it since I’m in the mood to reread things and this was like... a really good hug if it was a fic.
Up Above the World So High by @captain-aralias (E)
Baz is a half-alien scientist; Simon is a cyborg - an augmented human who used to be able to do things so extraordinary they seemed like magic.
Things were working out for them. They found each other, they saved the universe - but to make that possible Simon had to give up his power. Now, Baz worries Simon's lost himself.
A night under the stars might change that.
This fic is so good! I think I’m going to start all my comments that way probably but it seriously has everything??? For such a distinct premise to canon, it makes so much sense and it makes so much sense in such a short amount of time - Simon as a cyborg and Baz as half alien just make so much sense! their backstory just makes sense and it’s so good!!! The sex itself is fucking perfect - Baz’s EARS. I can’t stop thinking about Baz’s sexy alien physiology, it’s replaced all other thought. Zero gravity 69!  I know this fic was written for someone else but it was also tailored specifically to my interests so it was unintentionally also written for me :)
Bro Under the Mistletoe by @nick-eyre​ (T)
Is it gay to kiss your bro under the mistletoe?
If you’ve been at all questioning the validity of simpard then i IMPLORE you please read this fic. It’s exactly 900 words somehow but it does so much and you get such a perfect, utopian picture of life post-series for everyone. i loved it. it is both incredibly sweet and so funny. i’m going to reread it right now so i can relive this perfect moment :,)
Avalon, with You by @ninemagicks (T)
It's New Year's Eve. Simon would rather stay at home and play his favourite video game than suffer the horrors of a stranger’s house party, but Penny insists it'll be good for him. He reluctantly agrees, wishing goodbye to his mysterious online friend Chaz. Simon’s dreading what he’ll find in the house at the end of the overly long driveway...but what he hasn't yet realised is that all roads do indeed lead to domestic bliss.
This fic has one of my favorite tropes AND i can’t believe this game doesn’t actually exist, it’s so well-realized. I loved every second of this. This has such a specific, comforting atmosphere. I love everything about the way Simon and Baz meet, and I love their characterizations so MUCH. i wanna live in this world it’s so sweet!!
In Defense of Mistletoe by @gampyre (M)
Simon enlists Baz to be his fake date and stave off the affections of his unwanted admirer at work... but Baz may be plotting to turn the evening into something real.
Featuring a Simon and Baz who are best friends, a very drunk Gareth with a bejeweled belt buckle, and a conveniently placed sprig of mistletoe.
I don’t know if I’ve seen the friends-to-lovers trope in this fandom before and I think in any context outside of this fandom i normally don’t go for it (i guess i like my romance a lil bit toxic and full of melodrama??). this is just so smart and so good and ridiculously sexy. it’s totally wonderfully plausible - in a world where simon and baz get the opportunity to become friends before getting in a relationship, and i love how this fic imagines that hypothetical.
Five Distasteful Moments by @lilangelsteak​ (E)
I was made keenly aware, from an early age, that a Pitch boy wants for nothing.
"It's distasteful," my father once said.
He said it so dispassionately I could tell he hardly wanted to mention it. The matter was clear, though, from the way he moved about our world. I never saw the great Malcolm Grimm desire for anything. He took what was rightfully his. He did so with a carefully-indifferent demeanor and a wardrobe full of impeccably-tailored suits.
Wanting is beneath someone like me.
  But here I am, beneath Simon Snow, wanting more than I ever have in my life.
Whew this fic!!! I can’t stop thinking about it. I definitely have thought about it every day since it updated last month. One of the (many many things) this fic does that is so genius is it centers Baz’s issues with intimacy - I haven’t seen that too often in fics, since Simon’s issues seem a little closer to the surface in someways. Baz is struggling here the same way many young queers struggle with intimacy and trauma and being seen. This fic balances that angst so well though with tenderness, the weirdness of real intimacy, and how much sexier it is than sanitized/idealized romance.
By None Other by @snowybank​ (M)
“That which we manifest is before us; we are the creators of our own destiny. Be it through intention or ignorance, our successes and our failures have been brought on by none other than ourselves.” - Garth Stein
Simon goes rushing into danger and comes out knowing what he wants.
This was written as part of the COC and it is just! so good! you really get the feeling of having read an epic even though it’s under 3k words. it’s atmosperic, it’s a lil angsty, it’s a lil sexi, it’s got vampire stuff! it’s!!! so good!!
not tagging anyone bc it’s friday and i’m feeling very lazy BUT if i did tag anyone it’d be the people i tagged here and if you want any excuse to make one of these lists i’m begging you to tag me so i can see it :)
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dehydratedpool · 4 years ago
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hello again!! it’s the beginning of a new month, meaning a new fic rec post!! here are some fics that i read this month that are just... exquisite and deserve all the love and attention <3 
there aren’t as many as last time unfortunately, since i was quite busy this past month, but i promise next month won’t fall short! ((fics that i’ve reread this month are indicated with a **))
Foolishly Laying Our Hearts On The Table [11k] by runaway_train @runaway-train-works 
“You think Harry wants that?”
“Dunno. Maybe. Wanna make him happy.” Harry takes advantage of the red light he’s pulled up to turn and look properly at Louis’ face. He’s not even looking in Harry’s direction though, focused instead on something out of his side window, head drooped, mindlessly playing with the string of his hoodie between his fingers, lost in his own world somewhere. For some reason, it makes Harry’s spine straighten.
“Because he’s your best mate?” Harry questions carefully.
“He’s my boyfriend.”
He couldn’t have heard him right. “What?”
Louis releases a deep breath, still not turning around. Harry wonders who he thinks he’s talking to right now. “He’s so pretty. Want to kiss him all day long. And buy him a big house and give him presents and marry him.”
Or; The one where Harry is in love with his best friend Louis but doesn't think he stands a chance until some wisdom teeth and a rather unusual confession might just change his mind.
--> this is a new comfort fic for me tbh. i got rec’d this after louis tweeted about getting his wisdom teeth removed, and i’m so SO glad i decided to give it a read. it’s so precious and lovely and personally, i found it to be a quick read. it’s the kind of fic that makes me both warm and fuzzy inside but also highly upset that i’m single and will surely be alone forever
Just Let Me [14k] by HelloAmHere 
The party was going well. So well, Niall had already sworn undying love to one multi-tiered chocolate cake, two friendly corgi-poodle mixes, Zayn’s hair, and the entire population of Los Angeles. So well, Zayn had only laughed and ruffled Niall’s hair and not even twitched towards a cigarette. So well, nearly everyone had spilled far past the boundaries of the night’s original plans, extracting bottles of vodka from the cabinets and losing a lot of clothes. Harry had proclaimed that he was finally going to throw a small and very grownup dinner party and of course here they were three hours later, fifty people half-naked in the pool. Soon to be full-naked, if Louis had to guess. Everybody in LA loved a heated pool. Everybody loved Harry.
--> ok LISTEN. as some of you know, i just recently got into reading a/b/o fics and this one is definitely at the top of my fave a/b/o fics out there. it’s an interesting take on the trope, almost a bit more realistic in my opinion, and to quote the author’s note, “’what if a/b/o but less biological determinism?’”. i believe i found this one through a masterpost of “touch-deprivation fics”, so if that’s your thing, give this one a chance!
my ugly mouth kept running [4k] by theankletattoo @hadestyles
Another seed, another try except they know what caused the first wilt. They will be careful, they will be kind and together they will nurture it to life.
sometimes second chances are more important than the first.
--> rori, the author, never fails to disappoint when it comes to all of her works. i’ve said it once and i’ll say it again, she’s so incredibly fucking talented it’s unreal. her imagery is so vivid and real it leaves simultaneously everything and nothing to the imagination. as usual, h and l’s dynamic in this is an addicting portion to this fic that has you anticipating how their dynamic will shift and grow up until the end. if you’ve yet to read any of rori’s work, i suggest you add that to your to-do list for the month, and get a head start to her collection with this one!
**As Wicked As Anything Could Be [21k] by whoknows @crazyupsetter
It starts when Louis decides that he wants to lose his cherry and announces that he thinks the best way to do that is by going to a gay club. Naturally, Harry can’t let him go alone, so he tags along and spends the night rating guys with Louis until someone finally catches Louis’s eye.
Harry shoves him out to dance with the guy, and he can already tell that it’s going to be a quick and dirty hook up, so he’s not surprised that Louis and the guy disappear into the bathroom ten minutes later.
It is a surprise when Louis comes out not even two minutes later, pale and clammy, grabs Harry by the hand and drags him right out the door.
Somehow Harry comes to the decision that it would be a good idea for him to be in the room with Louis while Louis gets laid.
It’s a stupid fucking decision.
--> i discovered this fic a while ago on a whim and i have zero regrets. this is absolutely on my top ten fave fics list (that has yet to exist but perhaps i’ll post it one day). whoknows is a well known author within the fandom, so i’m sure i don’t have to say much about their immense talent, but SERIOUSLY, their plot progression, even their use of dialogue is wonderful in every way. as a writer, i envy them lmao. this fic takes me on a rollercoaster every time i read it, it’s yet another comfort fic of mine and never fails to disappoint every time i pick it up again. please, do yourselves a favor this april and read this.
Keeping The Flame Alive [19k] by whoknows @crazyupsetter 
Recording with One Direction never felt like this. There’s a couple reasons for that, Harry thinks. One is that they did most of their recording on the road, rushed and in busses and hotel rooms, never in one place long enough to really get an argument going. The other, larger and more important one, is that back then he had the sweetest, meanest little omega around to distract him from all of that frustration.
The first time around, when he’d been recording his debut solo album, it hit him pretty hard. He likes to think he’s better adjusted to it now, but frustration is warring under his skin nonetheless. He doesn’t want to be told what to do most of the time, and he especially doesn’t want to be told what to do when it comes to his music.
What he does want right now is that sweet, mean little omega right in front of him with his mouth on Harry’s cock. Unfortunately, the best he’s got is his own hand and a shared toilet. So. That’s really not going to work.
--> yes, for the first time in dehydratedpoolfics history of fic recs even tho i’ve only been doing this for a month i am rec’ing the same author twice, but seriously, how could i not??? this fic took me on a literal journey like... wtf. i have no words. seriously, i have none, i’m just that blown away, go read it for yourself .
**a trail of honey through it all [27k] by bruisedhoney @yvesaintlourent 
The boy in front of him, well really, the man in front of him, was like something out of a confusing wet dream. Built, tall, tan and muscular, his skin glistened with sweat after a long day of working outdoors with his hands. He was wearing a cut up old American football shirt, the bottom hem was torn and the sleeves were cut off to the point where the t-shirt was really just a loose tank top. The shorts he had on had clearly been full length jeans at one point, and were now just crudely cut off above the knee. His white socks were pulled up too high on his calves, and the brown work boots he had on were old as fuck, the leather peeling along the edges of the soles. Curly brown hair stuck out from the edges of his backwards snapback, and there was a smudge of grease wiped along his brow bone. The smattering of hair along his jaw proved that he hadn’t shaved in a week or two, the hair growing in thicker across his upper lip and around his chin. His sinfully bowed mouth was pink and plump, and Louis was suddenly hyper-focused on the way that he chewed at the toothpick stuck between his lips. He looked like he needed a shower. Louis wanted to lick him.
Or, the TPH fic we’ve all been waiting for.
--> okay look. i may or may not have a slight obsession with this fic. i reread it constantly, mostly for the iconic line, “are we fuckin’ or fightin’?”, because how can i not scream over that?? ((also patiently waiting for the sequel)) this is a literary masterpiece, one that defines an entire generation of this fandom i stg. but in all seriousness, hayley, the author, does such a wonderful job of giving the reader a vivid look into “nowhere, georgia”, and as a southern gal myself, i absolutely adore the itty bitty pieces of southern culture embedded into this, the tiny quirks that make this fic authentic. i could probably go on forever on why this fic is so iconic, but perhaps you should read it for yourself instead *wink* *wink*
SO. that’s all for this month!! if you read any of these, first of all, be sure to read the tags and author’s note (if any) before starting, AND please don’t forget to leave a quick kudos or comment, it means more than you may ever know <3
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multisfabulis · 3 years ago
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Wayfinder’s Voyage
Oceanic (Chapter 1 | 2)
Word Count: 5785
I hope everyone enjoyed reading this! I'm honestly super anxious while I'm typing this because, not only is this my first fic in the KH fandom, this is also my first ship fic so I'm feeling a lot of pressure.
I want to apologize if the characters seem OOC in this, I was mainly going off of memory and a Wiki because I didn't want to sit through an entire LP of BBS just to get a few details accurate. It already took me a month and a half to write all of this and I didn't want to take up more time.
I do have more Terraqua fics in the works, as well as a couple other KH fics in general, but those will probably be posted way later. I just wanted to test the waters with this fic and see how I do so...
So some things to note:
*Both Aqua and Terra's first scenes in this fic were made entirely for the purpose of giving them build-up while not diminishing Ven's importance to them. I was already going to be fucking with canon a lot but I also didn't want to leave Ven to the wayside so I created those scenes. You'll see Terra's in the next chapter.
*I feel the need to apologize for the second half of the second scene because that still feels like word barf, even when I know why I wrote it like that. I hope the intention behind those words is still conveyed clearly but I'll understand if it's not.
*As for the last scene, I completely misremembered the sequence of events leading up to the end. I already knew that scene was going to be changed somewhat just for the context of the ship but I think it's pretty clear which parts I changed on purpose and which parts I was winging it. It's been years since I last watched that scene, it was super late into the night, this was my third rewrite, and I felt satisfied with my work before realizing I fucked up and decided to go along with it.
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     Today started out like any other normal day. Aqua woke up, did her morning regimen, and set off for the great hall to begin her studies. She and Terra, her friend/rival, were to train under the watchful eye of their master Eraqus in the hopes of coming one step closer to fulfilling their lifelong dream. They would one day surpass the rank of apprentice and become Keyblade Masters in their own right, something she wished would arrive sooner rather than later.
     Then came time for their daily duel. They would often spar with each other as a way of proving their capabilities in battle, seeing what areas they could use improvement in, and showing off the techniques they had learned from past fights. This seemed to be no different from their previous clashes.
     She was on the defense, blocking and deflecting each blow Terra threw her way with relative ease. He managed to find an opening she didn’t account for and all but jumped on the opportunity. He charged in, his Keyblade held high, and she only had a split second to raise hers in an attempt to guard against it. Yet, whether it was due to a miscalculation on his part or her just reacting too slow, he ended up hitting her unarmored wrist. She quickly backed away, letting out a cry of pain as both Keyblades were dismissed in a flash of light. Eraqus rushed over to check if she was okay.
     Terra was beside her with remorseful apologies spilling out of his mouth but she barely paid them any heed. Her eyes were focused on something much more alarming, something she knew Eraqus saw too. Emanating from Terra’s hand was an aura of Darkness, which vanished as soon as he noticed it. He tried to defend himself to Eraqus but the damage was already done.
     Their master had an almost zealous hatred for Darkness, believing it’d bring nothing but destruction in its wake, and sought to rid the Land of Departure of any, even if some laid dormant in his apprentices’ hearts. This was a constant problem for Terra, who always seemed to harbor enough to fall back on, be it consciously or not. For it to flare up during training, that drew Eraqus’s ire.
     It was hard not to feel sorry for Terra as he was being harshly scolded. It wasn’t like he was trying to use Darkness, at least not intentionally. She knew that it was only an accident but it wouldn’t help stop the shame he undoubtedly felt. He’ll probably curse himself for being too weak and letting Darkness in yet again once he thought no one was around, an occurrence she’s been privy to more than she had any right to be. She needed to talk with him once she had her wrist taken care of.
     With a hand on her back, Eraqus began leading her out of the great hall. She looked over her shoulder to catch one last glimpse of Terra before leaving. He hung his head in shame as he clenched his fists in what she believed to be anger. It was just as she expected. She turned her head back to face forward, hoping he wouldn’t blame himself more than he already was.
     They made their way over to the infirmary, where Eraqus gently took hold of her wrist to examine it. She could see now how bruised and swollen it was from the impact as she winced with every slight movement. He was able to determine she had a sprained wrist, which she regarded as a miracle. With the amount of force Terra had in his swing, she was thankful it didn’t result in a break. She was to keep it wrapped and iced for a couple days till it healed, something she had no problem with.
     After it was bandaged, she was told to take it easy until then. She asked Eraqus about Terra and he said he’d have a talk with him once enough time had passed for things to settle down. There was an undercurrent of regret in his voice, made even clearer by the expression on his face. Their master may be strict but he still cared for them, similar in the way a father would for his children. This gave her some hope in that he realized what happened was an accident and he’d forgive Terra. Time would only tell.
     She spent the rest of the day in the library. She figured she’d get some studying done if she couldn’t practice with her Keyblade for the next few days. Try as she might, though, she could barely focus on the words she was reading and that was if she didn’t reread the sentence to understand it. Her mind kept wandering to Terra, whether he was okay or not, and what he was doing right now. Worry gnawed at her heart until she couldn’t take it anymore. The sun was beginning to cast orange and violet hues across the sky when she decided and rushed out to find him.
     He wasn’t in the great hall or his room when she looked in. Searching all around the building yielded no results, either. She wondered where he could be, her anxiety growing as she saw night quickly approaching. He had to still be in the Land of Departure and the only place she hadn’t checked yet was the mountain. She ran out to the Forecourt and then beyond its boundary.
     Stars were twinkling into existence by the time she reached the winding path leading up to the mountain. If it weren’t for the lights set alongside the dirt road, she would’ve been stumbling about blindly in the dark. It was when she arrived at the overlook just before the summit she found him.
     His back faced her as she saw that he was sitting on the edge of the cliff. Taking a few steps closer revealed him to be looking down below the mountain with an indiscernible expression. It was troubling to see him like this. What happened earlier today had to be weighing heavily on his mind.
     Tentatively walking forward, she called out, “Terra?”
     He stiffened and quickly turned around to face her, asking a barrage of questions like, “Aqua, are you okay? How’s your wrist? Is it bad? It’s bad, isn’t it?”
     “No, no, it’s all right, see?” she replied, showing him her bandaged wrist. “Master said it was only a sprain and that it should be okay in a couple days as long as I took it easy.”
     He let out a sigh of relief, no doubt feeling some of the guilt be lifted off his shoulders. “That’s good. I don’t think I would’ve forgiven myself if I managed to break your wrist.”
     “Well, you didn’t, so don’t beat yourself up over it, okay?”
     Silence fell between them. She noticed him staring at her wrist with clouded eyes, despite her assurances of being fine. Before she could think of a way to broach the issue at hand, he spoke up.
     “Aqua, I’m…I’m sorry about what happened earlier. I swear, I didn’t mean to hurt you, it was an accident, and---”
     “I know, I know! You don’t need to apologize, I know you would never try and hurt me,” she interjected, trying to comfort him. “I’m more worried about you and how you’re doing after Master had those…words with you.”
     He averted his eyes from her. It wasn’t the first time she’d seen Eraqus scold Terra like he had before and those always left him feeling horrible with himself. She was used to being the one to get him back to normal but something told her this wouldn’t be as easy as previous times.
     Turning away from her, he said, “I deserved it. Master was right, I could’ve seriously hurt you.”
     “But you didn’t and that’s what matters,” she replied.
     “I was wielding Darkness, Aqua!” he exclaimed, taking her aback. He ran a hand through his hair before continuing on, “I thought it was gone. I thought I had it under control but I guess I don’t. Maybe it never left.”
     “Terra…” She walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “It’ll be okay. You’ve gotten rid of Darkness before, you can do it again. You just have to---”
     He brushed her off. “What if I don’t? What if I’ll always have Darkness inside me?”
     “What are you saying?”
     “Maybe I’m not meant to be a Keyblade Master. Maybe I’m just destined to fall into darkness. It’s my fate to lose my heart and become a Heartless.”
     “That won’t happen, Terra. You’re strong enough to resist it and---”
     “What if I’m not, Aqua? How else would you explain why I keep having Darkness come out of me? You can’t, can you?”
     To her horror, he was right. There was no way she could explain why Darkness lingered inside him, even with the numerous attempts to rid himself of it. It wasn’t because he had a weak heart, that much she was certain. So what was the connection between the two? Was Terra right in that he was destined to fall into darkness, either by losing his heart or some other means?
     The thought rocked her to the core. She didn’t want to believe his fate was to be lost in a hellish abyss until he was put out of his misery. He was her dear friend and he deserved so much more than being reduced to a lowly Heartless. She refused to accept it, which was why she decided to do something about it.
     “You won’t fall into darkness, Terra,” she affirmed, stepping around him to meet his gaze. “I know it.”
     “How? How can you be so sure?” he asked.
     “Because I won’t let you.” She took hold of his hand in a gentle yet firm grip. “I promise I won’t let you fall into darkness.”
     He seemed genuinely shocked by her words. She meant what she said and she planned on upholding her promise. It may be hard and it may even be treacherous at times but it’d all be worth it if he remained in the light.
     “And, if you do fall, I promise to always guide you back home,” she added, giving his hand a squeeze.
     “...You have that much faith in me, huh?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
     “Why wouldn’t I?” She cupped his cheek. “You’re my friend, Terra, and I know you’re strong enough to resist its temptation. I’ll just be there to remind you every so often.”
     He said nothing, instead deciding to pull her into a hug. She was surprised by this, seeing as how he wasn’t a very affectionate person, at least in the physical aspect. She was about ready to question him on why he was doing this when she heard him whisper in her ear:
     “Thank you, Aqua, for believing in me.”
     Her heart fluttered in her chest from the sincerity in his voice. She could sometimes be slow on the uptake but this had to be a new record. It was only now she realized just how much her vow must’ve touched him and how badly he must’ve been feeling before she showed up. She was glad to have cheered him up some. Thus, she returned the hug and answered,
     “You’re welcome.”
     Terra wasn’t going to fall into darkness, not if she had anything to say about it. He won’t be led astray. She’d be his anchor to the realm of light. A promise is a promise, which she wholly planned to keep.
     Aqua breathed in deep and touched the tip of her paintbrush on the small piece of glass sitting in front of her. Drawing it upwards left the top half in a pretty shade of cyan blue. She continued to paint with delicate and meticulous strokes until she was satisfied with her work. The bottom half was then covered in a dark blue, which almost matched the ocean she imagined in her mind. Once the piece of glass was completely painted over, she gingerly picked it up and set it aside to dry. One down, four more to go before she moved on to the next phase.
     She was in the process of making her Wayfinder. She already crafted two others that happened to be sitting off to the side, one in amber and one in green. She hoped to give them to Terra and Ven soon once she was done creating hers. Seeing as how she and Terra were meant to have their Mark of Mastery exam in the near future, they were meant to be good luck charms and Ven was getting one simply because it’d be unfair if he was left out. They also had another purpose to them, something she thought was rather poignant and was the main reason she wanted them.
     Wayfinders were said to be designed after star-shaped fruit called Paopu, which were also said to tie friends together. If they carried these on them, nothing would drive them apart. They’d even help find one’s way back to them if they were ever lost. It may be silly of her to believe in this but it struck a chord within her when she first heard it and, in some ways, she wanted it to be true.
     The question of what would happen after she and Terra aced their exam had weighed heavily on her mind for some time. Eraqus had told them they could either travel beyond the Land of Departure and expand their horizons or succeed him and protect their world from Darkness. They hadn’t decided yet but she wondered what the aftermath of her choice would be. Would she choose to leave or stay? Whatever it may be, it meant Terra would have to contend with the other. Maybe the reason this was troubling her so much was because a part of her deep down was afraid of losing the two people she considered to be her best friends.
     She knew she had nothing to be scared of yet she worried all the same. It wasn’t like the bonds she shared with Ven and Terra were so weak, they’d break upon setting foot outside their home. Their strength would remain steadfast, even if the three of them were far apart from each other. She just needed to remind herself of that whenever she was lost in her thoughts.
     The last glass piece was painted and she put it beside the others to dry. With that out of the way, the next thing to do would be setting the five glass pieces into place and soldering them to the frame so they wouldn’t fall out when she held the Wayfinder facing up. It was too late to do it tonight but she would get straight to it after her training tomorrow.
     She glanced over to where the other two Wayfinders were sitting. She stood up from her desk, reached her hand out to grab them, and sat back down. They shone brilliantly under the golden light pouring in from her window. A lot’s happened over the last few years.
     She never thought Eraqus would take in another apprentice but it was at the behest of an old friend so that’s how Ventus came into the picture. Fragile was the best word to describe him when they first met, like he could collapse at any moment. It fit him even more when he actually did from Terra’s bombardment of questions, falling into an almost come-like state for several days. Her skepticism as to whether he was capable of becoming a Keyblade Master only grew when Eraqus said he was amnesiac and that was why he fainted. How could someone like him become Master when he was so weak, for lack of a better term?
     Yet he managed to prove her wrong. The more time he spent with the two of them, the stronger he got, to the point he was able to keep up with them in battle. He wasn’t as powerful as Terra or as magically gifted as her but he made up for it with swiftness and sheer tenacity. The only reason he wasn’t taking the Mark of Mastery exam along with them was because of his age, though she believed it was also due to him needing to outgrow some things, like his rebellious streak for example. He’d be a great Keyblade Master one day, she was sure of it.
     Terra’s changed so much over the years. He was no longer a child struggling to keep his head above water as he flailed his Keyblade about. He’s grown into a strong and capable man she was proud to call her friend and rival. He’d be her fellow Master in due time as well and then they’d stand together to protect both theirs and many other worlds from Heartless someday. At least, that’s what she envisioned before things somehow became different between them.
     She couldn’t quite explain what changed between her and Terra. It wasn’t like the way they interacted with each other was different from normal. They still met up every day to talk and train so that couldn’t be it. The only thing she noticed was…well, things she had never really noticed from him before. Not that they were never there but they were only starting to make themselves known to her.
     Before Ven, she’d only seen three sides to Terra. The dutiful pupil to their master, the reliable confidant to her, and the introspective self-doubter when he thought he was alone. It was only after Ven entered their circle she saw the kind and protective side of him, almost like he was an older brother to him. She always knew those qualities existed within him but it was different seeing them in action to someone other than her. It’s only now she’s really acknowledged them.
     He was still her friend but there was a deeper meaning now. Her feelings towards him were different than her feelings towards Ven and maybe that was because she’s known him practically all her life as opposed to the four years for Ven. Maybe all this was was her growing up and becoming an adult, which meant changing feelings and realizing that things were going to be different for her now, whether she liked it or not. Throw in the anxiety of potentially drifting away from him and she was left with a jumbled up mess of complications she struggled to put a label on.
     All this was doing was giving her a headache. She should be focusing on the road ahead instead of thinking herself into a corner and letting her mind run wild. She’s so close to accomplishing her dream and she couldn’t risk anything jeopardizing it. Whatever answers she wanted, she’d find them after becoming Master.
     She looked down at the Wayfinders still held in her hands and pressed them close to her chest. She let out a heavy sigh as she tried to calm herself. Different was new but it didn’t have to be bad. Change was a part of everyone’s lives and she and Terra were no exceptions.
     Things may be different between them but it didn’t mean they were bad. It could mean they were good and she just couldn’t see how yet. As long as they were together, nothing truly bad would happen. That’s what she hoped.
     Aqua sat at the end of the dock, watching the sun set over the horizon. A warm, pleasant breeze was blowing through, carrying with it the strong scent of salt. She could hear the ocean’s waves rolling along the sandy shore and leaves from the trees behind her rustling. This was everything she imagined a beach to be like. The only things missing from it were Terra and Ven.
     The Destiny Islands was what this world was called. She only stopped by with the intention of taking a short rest but it was after reality began to sink in she had to give herself something more than that. She needed a moment where she could think clearly, decompress, and just breathe. She needed this before going back out there and starting the whole process over again. That’s where she was now.
     Where did it all go wrong? She finally managed to achieve her dream of becoming a Keyblade Master but it felt like a hollow victory when it turned out Terra failed the exam on account of his Darkness flaring up again. Then she was asked by their master to keep an eye on him in case he strayed too close to darkness, which she didn’t agree with but knew it was out of concern for him so she followed. It was through that she learned of the questionable acts seemingly committed by Terra and it caused her to doubt him and his resolve. When she met up with him and Ven at Radiant Garden and she revealed the truth of her being there, their trust in her was shattered.
     Then she found out Ven was being hunted down by a masked boy, who had ties to Master Xehanort. He’d been pulling strings behind the scenes and he was dragging Terra along for the ride. An encounter with the masked boy in Neverland left her exhausted yet she still trudged on before arriving here. All she was trying to do was make things right so why did it turn out like this?
     Maybe she wasn’t cut out to be a Master. They were supposed to keep the balance between light and dark, protect the worlds from malevolent forces. If she couldn’t even protect her best friends, the two people she treasured above all else, then what good was she? Eraqus was wrong in making her a Master, much less his successor. She never should have become one.
     She took out her Wayfinder and just held it. The orange hue of the sunset washed away the once vibrant blue into something dull and dark. Her heart grew heavier the longer she looked at it, running her thumb over the token in the center. Nothing would drive them apart, huh?
     It was never that she thought of Ven as weak or doubted his capabilities. It was never, ever that. She just wanted him to be safe, to be unharmed because she knew she couldn’t always be there to save him. There was a part of her that still viewed him as the fragile boy she first met who fell comatose from one too many questions. Sure, he’s grown much stronger since then, but she felt the need to protect him regardless. He was her dear friend and she wouldn’t know how to live with herself if he got hurt and she wasn’t there to help him. She’d rather have him hate her for being overbearing than risk losing him because she wasn’t cautious.
     She wished she could express how sorry she was to Terra. She vouched for him to Eraqus, swearing he was strong enough to resist the dark temptations, yet hearsay was all it took for her to lose faith in him. Xehanort’s machinations framed him as someone he wasn’t and she fell for it so easily. It honestly pissed her off that he was manipulating and taking advantage of Terra and his trusting nature. While he wasn’t exactly innocent in this, it was clear as to who the real mastermind was. She wanted so badly to apologize to him, to tell him she should never have doubted him.
     Her grip on the Wayfinder tightened as she felt her eyes beginning to burn. Did they have theirs still, she wondered. She wanted to believe they did but was it childishly naive of her to cling to that narrow hope?
     She was a horrible friend to them. She caused one to lose faith in her and she may as well have betrayed the other. She may have pushed Ven too far away for him to come back and drove Terra further into the darkness. She wouldn’t fault them for wanting nothing to do with her anymore. She wouldn’t, either, if the roles were reversed. Were their bonds now severed?
     No, they couldn’t be. The magic she placed on each of their Wayfinders was still active and she could still feel Terra and Ven’s hearts through hers. That had to be her silver lining in this. Even if the cord connecting the three of them together frayed till it was only a thread, that thread was unbreakable.
     She needed to protect them. She couldn’t let Xehanort and that masked boy do whatever they wanted with them. They wouldn’t hesitate to save her if she were in the same position so she shouldn’t, either. They were precious to her, she’d do anything, even give her life, if it meant they’d be safe.
     She stood up from the dock, Wayfinder still in her hand, and looked up at the now starry sky. She didn’t know where they were but she didn’t need to. Her heart was going to be her guiding key.
     They needn’t worry much longer. She was going to find them and the three of them were going to stop whatever Xehanort had planned. Then they would share one more night under the stars, like they had all that time ago.
     May they find a way to each other once more.
     Aqua watched on in horror as the man in front of her stabbed his Keyblade into his chest. She wanted to cry out his name but she couldn’t find the strength within her to do so, having thoroughly exhausted herself from their fight earlier. His body went slack, his Keyblade vanishing into thin air, as a portal of swirling darkness opened beneath him. He fell back and, quickly realizing where it led to, she dove in after him.
     She had to save him. It may not have been Terra, not completely, but his heart was still in his body, she just knew it. Why else would he have let her go when he was so close to finishing her off? She couldn’t leave him to wander in the Realm of Darkness for all eternity. Even if it meant bringing Xehanort back, she’d never forgive herself for doing that to him if he was still in there. She made him a promise and she was damn well going to keep it.
     The first thing she noticed was how cold it was. It wasn’t freezing but it was still too chilly for her liking, evident from her shivering. She felt like she was stuck in an empty black void as she searched around for any sign of Terra. She was eventually able to find a dim light just a few meters below her, a light she recognized as his. Summoning her Keyblade, she changed its form to that of her Glider and raced towards the light, not once taking her eyes off it.
     It didn’t take long to reach him. The light grew dimmer and dimmer the closer she got before dimming completely upon seeing him. He looked to be just sleeping, even when he was plummeting straight down to what she considered to be hell. She grabbed onto his arm and struggled to lift him onto her Glider, only managing to accomplish that feat by sheer force of will. Giving him a quick once-over revealed no visible wounds and he seemed to be breathing normally. Relieved that he was physically all right, she turned the Glider around and began heading back up.
     She had him and he was going to be okay. They would be back in Radiant Garden soon and she was going to fix him. She and whoever else could help her were going to find a way to get Xehanort’s heart out of him. Then she and him would go home and wake Ven up, like she said they would. They’d be together again. Their master may be gone now but they’d have each other to lean on and support. The hope of them being reunited again was the only thing keeping her going at this point. After everything that’s happened, she needed this to come true. She almost wanted to pray to whatever power there be to grant her wish, to give her this.
     Well, a deity or some other higher being there was heard her and sneered. Her heart dropped once she saw the portal they came in from starting to close. They were still so far away and it was shrinking with each passing second. It would be gone by the time they reached it, leaving them stuck in the Realm of Darkness with no way out. She looked over at Terra’s unconscious form and, knowing what had to be done, made her choice without any hesitation.
     That was when it hit her. She finally found her answer and she wanted to scold herself for taking so long to realize it. She finally knew what Terra was to her and it was so easy, so simple to understand that there was really no excuse. He wasn’t just a friend to her, he was more than that, he deepened beyond that. It was only natural, in some ways, for her to have fallen for him.
     She loved him. She loved everything about him, from his ability to want to see the good in people to his devotion to her and Ven. She can scarcely remember a life where he wasn’t a part of it nor did she want such a life. He was irreplaceable, someone she confided in, a man she could talk to about anything without fear of judgment. He was her rock, her dearly beloved. She loved him, which was why she was able to decide on her fate with little regret.
     She was going to take his place. Her promise came out of a love different from what it was now but she planned to uphold it all the same. Her love for Terra was stronger than her hatred of the man possessing him and she couldn’t bear to leave him behind to die in a hellish wasteland. It only hurt to know she wouldn’t be there to help guide him back home, to her and Ven.
     She disembarked from her Glider and went around to the side. Terra appeared to be holding onto the handles somewhat, which seemed to be the only reason he was staying on it instead of falling. She brushed the back of her hand against his cheek before resting it on his, giving it a gentle squeeze. She was going to miss him when she was gone but this was for the best.
     “We’ll meet again someday.” She squeezed his hand again. “Even if so much time has passed, we’ll meet again.” She was giving both him and herself false hope. “I’ll always be with you, okay?” She didn’t believe she would find a way out. “Goodbye, Terra.”
     Then she let go and began falling. She didn’t take her eyes off him once as she fell, even when it became too dark for her to see him clearly. She wanted him to be the last thing she saw if she were to possibly die in the next few moments. She only wished she could’ve amended things between her, Terra, and Ven before their grand battle in the Keyblade Graveyard but she was resigned to contend with this. She’d be okay with taking that regret to her grave.
     Tears rolled down her cheeks but she smiled through them. She saved him from a fate of wandering the dark realm alone. She hoped Terra would win out in his fight against Xehanort and reclaim his body as the image of him finally disappeared from her sight. Maybe, just maybe, they’d meet again in the next life.
     She closed her eyes as she let the darkness overtake her. It was then she heard herself say those three little words that carried with them so much meaning. Whether she said them aloud or she only imagined she did, it didn’t matter. All she wanted was for those words to reach Terra’s heart, to let him know why she did what she did. That was her last thought before succumbing to the cold.
     “I love you.”
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roselightfairy · 4 years ago
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On the topic of hurt/comfort fics, do we have any Gimli/Legolas hurt comfort fics where Legolas is the one that needs comforting? Like dealing with his sea-longing and needing snuggles or he's pushing himself too hard and Gimli needs to remind him to sleep/take care of himself because even the tireless have limits, or Legolas crying over anything in general and Gimli coming to the rescue?
All right, so there are a lot more of these out there than the Gimli ones. We as a fandom do love our Legolas whump, and it was tough to cut down this list – but I tried to go for more the emotional side of h/c, which is a favorite of mine for the two of them. (Gimli physically injured; Legolas in emotional distress – that’s where it’s at!) A physical h/c fic or two did slip in, though, so I divided these into three main sections: one that deals with sea-longing, one that deals with war-related trauma, and one “other” category. As a reminder, this is not a catch-all list – again, Legolas might well be the whole fandom’s favorite whumpee – but these are some of the ones that first popped up in my mind at your request.
Sea-longing:
and yet the sea calls (series) by Laura JV (jacquez)
Summaries: [Gimli/Legolas] loves, and yet the sea calls.
This is a set of lovely vignettes (two stories, one from Legolas’s perspective and one from Gimli’s) about learning to live and love with the sea-longing between them, and to find comfort in one another as best they can. These stories make me feel so very many feelings and are constant rereads when I want to feel the bittersweet (but mostly sweet!) that is their love.
A Beloved Ballast, an Untethered Soul by katajainen
Summary: Gimli has spent long months on the new gates of Minas Tirith, all the while waiting for Legolas to return to him from the North.
But when he does, it's clear the year has not been altogether kind to his husband.
This is one of my favorites of a lot of things – a wonderful, gentle reunion in Minas Tirith after their separation after the war, Legolas worn from sea-longing and finally finding home in his husband’s arm, warm comfort and some very romantic smut. Please read it; you will not regret it.
Everything That Mattered Is Dust by SerStolas
Summary: A decade ago, the One Ring was destroyed. A decade ago, Gimli and Legolas traveled together first to the Glittering Caves and then to Fangorn. A decade ago, both of them failed to admit their deeper emotions for each other. Now they meet again in Minas Tirith during renovations on the city. But not all is well with Legolas.
Inspired by Through the Ghost by Shinedown.
This is another lovely story with a similar theme to the previous – but without the established relationship, so we get a very sweet love confession instead. Very gentle and loving and satisfying; this gets me right in the hurt/comfort feelings. <3
Where You Go, I Will Go by UnnamedElement
Summary: Lady Galadriel's message was a riddle too twisted for a Wood-elf and a Dwarf to initially unwind... This is a story of a friendship fraught with mutual ignorance: the concessions a dwarf makes to an elf, and the choices that elf makes for their peculiar friendship. It is how Legolas and Gimli pass through the threat of death to find, together, a better truth. (March 2016 Teitho)
Look, I don’t know if this is hurt/comfort as such, but it certainly comforts ME to read. This is a lovely little exploration of the sea-longing and how it changes Legolas and Gimli’s friendship – and in fact brings them closer together. It’s gen, nominally, but it’s so tender you won’t miss the romance (and I feel comfortable saying that because of multiple conversations with @unnamedelement on the subject!).
The Language of Power by Thewriternumber19238478356
Summary: It's the night before the march on the Black Gate. But sea-longing won't let Legolas sleep. Gimli offers him a secret dwarven practice that might just be the solution…
This is an underappreciated and really wonderful story, but contains some non-sexual BDSM, so be warned for that. It’s extremely tender and plays with the notion of power in dominance/submission with respect and love for the practice and the characters. It’s archive-locked, so you’ll need an account to read it, but I really do have such love for this story and I highly recommend it.
War-related:
A Night Beclouded by katajainen
Summary: Night falls after the fighting is done on the Pelennor Fields. For those left alive, it should be an hour for respite, for catching one's breath.
But there is the kind of darkness that seeps under one's skin, the kind not born of mere absence of sunlight, and this is not a time to be alone.
This is such quiet, atmospheric tenderness – comforting someone after a nightmare is such a wonderful trope, and @katajainen does it with all her usual sensitivity and care. A bit of pre-relationship sweetness and warm comfort – and honestly, it was a struggle to keep it to two fics by katajainen on this list; please go read all her stories!
Shared Spaces by mssileas
Summary: I know you think I'm a little different But I'm still somebody's son.
The night before marching on the Black Gate, neither of them can sleep.
Okay, so I adore this fic. I have a soft spot for any fics that focus on how Legolas must feel about Sauron and the origin of orcs, and this is a wonderful fic that deals with those ideas, as well as pre-battle anxiety, and Legolas and Gimli taking comfort in one another. Lots of lovely hand-touching and some very sweet kissing, too. <3
A time and times and half a time by Honesty
Summary: AU. Legolas, imprisoned by Saruman, discovers *exactly* how Orcs were made .... While Gimli keeps a vigil he will never forget.
Similar themes as the last one, though taken WAY over the edge past hurt/comfort and into serious hurt territory. Be careful with this one, because there’s a lot of pain for Legolas – warning for physical and psychological torture - but the love between him and Gimli is so powerful and all-consuming, it carries the story and provides the much-needed comfort at the end, though you’ll probably still be aching.
Comfort after Endurance by spinel
Summary: The battle of Helm's Deep takes its toll on Legolas. A stolen moment between the end of the battle at Helm's Deep and riding to Isengard.
Pre-relationship sweetness, comfort after battle. This one skirts the lines of physical and emotional hurt/comfort, combining the two with the soothing effect of touch and closeness after great trials. Lots of tender handling of one another – no explicit relationship content, but definitely little hints of more to come here and there. ;)
Other:
inkstains by apricae
Summary: Legolas isn't much good at reading, and an attempt at a learning his letters with Gimli turns into a revelation.
(Or: The one in which Legolas is dyslexic and sad, Gimli is a very good husband, and Dwarves are a lot better than Elves at handling disabilities.)
I am very big on neurodivergent Legolas in all its forms, and I love this dyslexic-Legolas headcanon a lot. Emotional distress and childhood trauma – but luckily, Legolas has a very kind, loving dwarf husband to talk him down and help him through.
Tainted Meat by lynndyre
Summary: On the road between Helm's Deep and Isengard, mistakes are made with supplies.
For the BloodyValentine prompt: someone feeds orc food to an elf, making them really sick.
This is one of my favorite underappreciated fics out there – I find that it really gets the way Legolas and Gimli are portrayed once they start meeting up with armies and other men: they are a bubble of two, responsible for one another’s comfort and supporting one another without question. In this fic, Legolas (and half the Rohirrim) are struck with food poisoning, and while the men deal with the aftermath, Legolas is so very much Gimli’s charge, and it’s so tender and lovely and wonderful. Gen, nominally, but it gets the particular something between them in canon that I so love. (It also fits with a line Gimli says in Two Towers about refusing to touch any orc supplies!)
 Teeth Like Knives by Evandar
Summary: Gimli wasn't expecting to have to stitch Legolas back together after their first attempt at lovemaking, but now that the initial shock has worn off, he can't say that he's surprised.
This is part of a larger series that involves half-orc Legolas, and all of it has some very wonderful emotional hurt/comfort. But this is my favorite of the series because of how good and gentle and wonderful Gimli is with Legolas’s existential crises and hurting himself on accident. Please do mind the tags, since this subject matter may not be for everyone, but I adore the sensitivity with which these topics are handled and reread this for comfort. <3
As always, if you enjoy any of these fics, please let the author know with a comment if you have capacity! Also, I encourage you to reblog this list so that we can spread the good word. :)
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thxngam · 4 years ago
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any new ww fics catch ur eye?
yes!! i surf the “The West Wing” tag like everyday so i’d say i’m up to date on anything posted within the last month ish
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29408082--1968 by mlea7675: a pre-canon (like WAY precanon) fic covering all of the senior staff + abbey and jed!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29450805--The Wedding Cottage by JediAnnieScrambler: a cj/toby, locked in a cabin together fic that is SO sweet
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29073879/chapters/71366562--i had the time of my life fighting dragons with you by annmeredithperkins: an actively updating fic full of folder joshdonna snippets. they’re absolutely wonderful, i adore them so so much, and they cover so many feelings; happy, sad, you name it
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29372133--Omnes Una Manent Nox by Elizabeth_Woodville:  THE BEST FIC. i read this after, but if i hadn’t answered that ask about what fics I consider masterpieces, this would definitely be on it. all the missing moments from ITSOTG
https://archiveofourown.org/works/27918589/chapters/68367832--Starting Over, Never Ending by Iamsherlocked07: an absolutely domestic fic of cj/toby that was posted pretty recently about post-canon.  ( @claudiasjeancregg i am reading up on cj/toby in prep of your ask, I PROMISE i will get into it)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29360451/chapters/72122043--i love being alive at the same time as you by jesustakethewheelo: a recently posted fic about the senior staff in college! i love seeing aus for this fandom, i’m so excited to see where this goes!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29134296/chapters/71523372--you like her better (wish i was heather) by @singingaboutwishingx: i wish i knew more amy/donna (someone pls ask me for rare pairs, i need an excuse lmao) and this one makes me feel all the things. there’s also an absolutely golden sam and donna friendship moment in the second chapter that i have absolutely reread so i highly recommend reading this fic so someone can come gush with me about it
https://archiveofourown.org/works/28660749--Heavy Days in June by Lily_Padd_23: the absolute samjosh queen. a modern (WAY modern) era seaborn admin fic. a slice of life that turns my heart to goo. 
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274930/chapters/71890809--The Ballad of Mr McGarry’s US Government and Politics AP Class by @hesamatador: another au! this time a highschool au, and i can’t wait to see where this goes! it’s got all the signs of joshdonna pining and also the tags have me excited lol
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29295504--a city made of statues and stories by cookiecrumbl: previously thought to be a 5+1, now just a flash fic of sam losing it in ITSOTG
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29199942--Directive 1304.26 by myrmeraki: i have read this AT LEAST a thousand times. THERE ARE TRIGGER WARNINGS THO READ THE TAGS. if you read nothing else on this list, i will be v v disappointed, but PLEASE god read this
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29167053--(the road not taken looks real good now) by JediAnnieScrambler: as the title suggests, based on ‘tis the damn season by TS. such a good, absolutely heart twisting fic. references to infidelity tho, read at ur own discretion
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29147634--I promise you i did believe, that we would last like evergreens by dogsbreath: HEART BREAKING. GUT WRENCHING.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29131338--laughing over all the noise by cassieholliday: also sad!! but amy/donna. a masterpiece. i love fierce amy but i also love soft amy 
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29149695--Ain’t Nothing But a Family Thing by Iamsherlocked07: after all that angst have a happy fic! a sweet mom!cj fic where toby/cj are dating/married/idk
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29115855/chapters/71474346--Let Me Teach You What Real Love Looks Like by IveDoneMyWaiting: sad! again! a WIP that i hope gets updated bc i rlly want to know what happens next
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29063208--moonrise avenue by myrmeraki: more of this author! this was hard to read bc i might’ve been projecting onto sam but hey, now is still better than 1998. absolutely wonderful! i love precanon stuff :)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29150007--Chianti by @thebreakfastgenie: toby, post canon, but also with rosslyn’s affects. the gang gets back together, but not rlly. wonderful. idk this one made me sad but there’s not technically a reason to be. 
that’s all! (this is a lot of fics, wow) this goes back to things at the beginning of the month (recent lol, maybe you meant like a week or something, but whatever i wanted to gush). don’t forget to leave a comment and kudos!
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cactusandfir · 3 years ago
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i’ve been catching up on reading rather than writing the last couple weeks, and it’s been a nice break after posting. i almost pulled an all-nighter finally reading all 300k of  the hockey at the end of the world series in like, two days, and it felt so indulgent and inspiring!
i’ve also been throwing random bits into drafts here and there. i kind of want to write one more small thing before the end of the year, partially because i have a couple ideas percolating i’d like to explore, and partially because i want to hit 50k words published. i’m having a hard time even believing i’ve almost done that! this month has kicked my butt in a lot of ways and i’ve been feeling a little down abt myself (unrelated to fandom!), so it would feel super nice to accomplish that.
lastly, i thought i was going to have more to say about keep the lanterns lit, but when i went to write a postmortem, it ended up being pretty short. those thoughts under the cut!
i’m still not sure how exactly i feel about this fic! i’m not sure i did very well at communicating some key character motivations and i had so much time to work on it, but ended up having to take quite a few life breaks, and i think that was overall not good for like, continuity. i felt like i lost the plot (literally and figuratively) several times while writing it. 
BUT i didn’t want to just abandon it, there’s still like quite a bit of it that i like, and i felt that posting it now, rather than withdrawing and working on it longer, was the right way to go. i think i tried to do more than i was capable re plot and character building so i don’t think having another few weeks was going to change anything significant.
things that went well: 
i like a lot of the language i crafted, i think i had some really nice descriptive phrases. 
i like how much i was able to spread out, i think i’ve slowly been improving on extending the pacing and i felt like i did well with it here. 
i liked thinking about the little world i built in my head, and although i don’t feel like i did it justice in portraying it, it was very soothing to me, personally lol sometimes i wish i could be one of those people who tagged atmospheric things about their fic on their blog, but truly i am too nervous to reread my own writing so soon after posting, much less talk about it immediately after!
lessons learned:
taking long breaks from projects is maybe not ideal, unless there’s a significant enough chunk of time at the end to finish. i wasn’t expecting life to get in the way this much, so i spent more time writing than i probably would have if i was working on it all in a row, because i had to refamiliarize myself with it after every break.
i’m not sure i enjoy writing longer fic! i love it when a project comes together, but i don’t have any formal fiction writing training, so it’s more work than i want to do to in my spare time to write longer stories. the words just don’t come easily to me and that’s okay! this was the longest thing (in general: for fun, for work, or for school) that i’ve ever written so i’m super proud of finishing it, but i’m going to happily go back to no-pressure word limit situations.
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cellsshapedlikestars · 4 years ago
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4, 16, and 22 for the writing meme!
hi anon! ❤️
I don’t think I’ve ever actually done one of these writer ask things before and it’s wild to me. Like, I genuinely feel like I’m not a “real” writer and I’ve never analyzed my writing style or process before, but I’ll see other people do it and be like WHAT. FASCINATING.
4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)
we’ve got crosses on our eyes:
Her hair is silk in his hand, her lips are soft beneath his, she's soft beneath him and he thinks again of the strength there is in softness, of the steel in her spine and the kindness of her heart and he loves her (he's always loved her). 
TBH kind of that entire chapter of we’ve got crosses? That story in general holds a weird and special place in my heart.
16. Tried anything new with your writing lately? (style, POV, genre, fandom?)
My writing style pretty much stays the same: third person limited, present tense. I don’t think I’ve ever written anything that wasn’t this in my current fandom tbh. I feel like I do tend to genre-hop a bit already (my first work was a very serious real life thing and then I went to comedic romantic comedy, then to book canon, then to horror, then to weirdly soft period piece about grief, then to alt-canon fairy tale, and now a bachelor fic)
I did write for a prior fandom, so I guess you could say the newest thing I’ve done is write for GOT/ASOIAF lmao
22. Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?
Yes. When I write something, I tend to obsessively re-read it until it’s complete (I guess to stay in the world maybe, but I also catch errors that I’ll go back and correct), and then every once in a while I’ll go back and read after it’s complete (usually prompted by someone commenting months later, which I love). My first fic is the one I’ve re-read the most. Also, the things I write are, at their very core, for me. It’s things I enjoy. So a ghost hunter story or a supernatural story or a Secret Garden AU might not be for everyone, but they are absolutely for me. 
I’m also still fairly new to this fandom, so all of my ‘old’ stuff isn’t even that old.
If we wanna talk about old-old, we can go back to my prior fandom that I wrote for over a decade ago and I have reread those recently and honestly? Don’t hate them. I had some pretty decent ideas and despite a rocky start where my story & writing was incredibly basic, I’m actually somewhat proud of all of it. The smut I wrote when I was a teenager, though, makes me *cringe* and maybe that’s why I can’t/don’t really write it now?
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fiamac · 4 years ago
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Fic Writer Interview
tagged by @amysnotdeadyet​
Tumblr apparently only sends me, like, every third notification, so I’m catching up on some stuff. Here goes!
name: fiamac (Tumblr) or FiaMac (AO3), but you can call me Fia
fandoms: Inception continually, Teen Wolf obsessively, and Black Butler periodically. With deep dives into Supernatural, OMG Check Please!, plus some randos, and nostalgic forays into Sherlock, SG-1, Harry Potter, etc.
where you post: AO3 exclusively now, although my old stuff on ffnet is still up under TheBooknerd
most popular oneshot: If we’re looking at true oneshots, it would be the smutastic fic I wrote for @oceaxe-ifdawn, The Tightest Fit. But the first fic in my never-ending Psycho Heroes series, It’s Just a Twitch, is still my top scorer.
most popular multichapter fic: By far, it’s The Fall Makes You Break, part 11 of Psycho Heroes. Much bamf and bow-chikka-bow-bow going on in that fic.
fics you were nervous to post: It’s Just a Twitch was my first posting on AO3, my first effort at writing in a new fandom, and my first completed story in years. After I finished writing, I sat on it for about a week and almost talked myself out of posting. I had just spent the months prior binging on tons of truly excellent fics in that fandom, and I was super nervous about bringing my meager offering to the cool-kids’ party.
how you choose your titles: I love coming up with titles and play with different methods. Sometimes from song lyrics, sometimes from passages in the fic. Sometimes from my love of puns (cough Portmanteaux cough).
do you outline: If by outline you mean spend days analyzing motivations, freewriting backstories for every character, designing maps and floorplans, making charts and timelines for plot points, curating playlists, color-coordinating my manuscript, and drafting four related fics concurrently... yeah, I do that.
favorite story you’ve written so far: Right now, it’s my Teen Wolf/Princess Bride fusion fic, As You Wish. It was a lot of fun to write and I reread it often.
complete: All my fics on AO3 as of now are complete, although Psycho Heroes and Portmanteaux With Love have more fics in the works.
in progress: I’m working on the next 10 Psycho Heroes installments (yes, all at the same time because I’m a fool), a Teen Wolf/Inception crossover, a sequel to my Maybe This Supernatural fic, and an original fiction about a dude who has a threesome with a demon.
coming soon: Ish? Soonish? I’m drafting part 22 of Psycho Heroes, in which Arthur has a bad reaction testing a new compound and can’t wake up from the dream.
prompts: I’m already loaded up with wips and don’t really take prompts. But sometimes I get inspired/distracted and write comment fics, or @iamanonniemouse throws her weight around and convinces me make good on promises.
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twixtandshout · 3 years ago
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Tagged by @pidgeonpostal! And not tagging anyone else because I have SOILED the original template (soiled it!!) in deference to my [brushes off skirt] mostly clean public-facing appearance.
...I’ve been making a lot of Spongebob memes lately for someone who has not seen Spongebob.
How many works do you have on AO3?
71!
What’s your total AO3 wordcount?
...306,834. Jesus.
How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
Uh. Many! I do a lot of one-offs (and/or start long things I never finish) in many different places. My top three fandoms by fics written are RWBY (29), Undertale (25), Gravity Falls/Transcendence AU (4).
Bet you can’t tell where my hyperfixations have fallen. 
I’ve also got some Pokémon and Sonic the Hedgehog fics back on my ff.net account, or I think I still do, anyway, but let’s never go back there pls
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
1. Sweeter Than Honey (Undertale): Taking a Completely unsurprising first place, with over 600 more kudos than the runner-up, the haphazard Underswap fic featuring a post-college self-insert I wrote just after high school! I shake my head some at how overblown and ridiculous the gap between this and all my other stuff is (c’mon, guys, I’ve written way better fics), but this is also the fic which prompted me (and at least one other person!) to start using they/them pronouns. I’ve gotten a lot of really sweet comments about how seen and appreciated it’s made people feel, so I can’t get down too far about it.
2. To Be A Hero (BNHA): I don’t count myself as part of the BNHA fandom, for a number of reasons, but for something that’s arguably the main motivation for the entire plot, Midoriya’s quirklessness is something I’ve never thought has been handled well. This fic marked the first time I (somewhat tentatively) claimed the disability label (thanks again to Sweeter Than for prompting that realization) to hold that lens over canon. It also really shot up my chart, dang! It’s the only thing here I’d consider “recent.”
3. Three-Sentence Shipping (Undertale): Self-explanatory.
4. Brothers Beyond Bonedaries (Undertale): Ah, the way-overcomplicated AU³ I got nowhere close to finishing. One of the things I really like about Undertale is the interface screw, how Toby Fox uses the medium of the video game to pull off crazy things and enhance his game, but most of the fic written for the fandom seems dedicated to explaining it away, grounding it, rather than taking it to the next step and messing with the medium of fanfiction when you keep the story going. I tried to do something cool like that here, playing with questions like narrator and authorship and breaking the fourth wall, even taking the “final boss” fight to a “totally separate” fic reached through the first by link – but, well, then I never finished it, which probably didn’t make anything less confusing for the poor folks who missed the intent.
5. Spirit and Such (Gravity Falls: Transcendence AU): A whole fic written to line out a particular image I had, which, naturally, never made it to the page. I consider it a bit of a cautionary tale for myself when it comes to writing (near-)original content; there’s a lot I look back on and cringe. I still love the characters, though – well, the important ones – and I think just stepping away from the tried-and-true Mizar formula nets it a star sticker here.
Do you respond to comments, why or why not?
>w>; I try, but a lot of the time I just don’t have anything to say? Like, oh, you liked it? Neat. There’s not much to respond to in comments like that, and then I’m weighing falling down on an ~obligation~ to respond to every message in my inbox vs annoying people with copy-paste fluff responses all down the page. Plus I know I make more of an effort to comment on things that didn’t get the attention I feel they deserve, so if I’m driving up my own comment count with nonsense, am I preventing myself from being in a position to receive more comments later? And then if I do comment, am I being too effusive or running people’s ears off explaining things they don’t actually need to know? Sometimes people just want to express interest or admiration and don’t necessarily want a whole peek and guided tour behind the curtain.
Can you tell I have anxiety? x3;
Anyway, I do respond when I can. And I keep most of the comments I’ve gotten to go back and reread. 
What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
Hm, hmm. Lots of stuff in the TQ Nonsense series would probably qualify! I’m thinking of Unfixable, Wolfsong, and Ethanol. And there’s Bursting Through A Blood-Red Sky (I Can Live, I Can Breathe), of course, but that was always intended to have a fix-it epilogue. It’s just that I wrote it in a couple of hours day-of, stared at it, and decided I didn’t wanna just then. But now that’s As Long As You’re Still Burning Bright (I’m Still Awake), and that’s probably the best romance I’ve written, so that one worked out.
Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve ever written?
Now and then! When the urge strikes. Uhhh, I’ve got a series of Doctor Who x Undertale crossovers I actually made a whole dang verse for that never made it to print. Get a couple great comments on that every few months or so. I think the World Trigger x Undertale crossover is probably weirder, though, by virtue of WT being a very small fandom. My enthusiasm kinda sputtered out on that one.
Mostly I just daydream crossovers with whatever happens to catch my eye at any given moment. I have a lot!!!! Though odds are out on whether I manage to remember any of them once the initial thought’s passed, lol.
Have you ever received hate on a fic?
Gotten a couple eyebrow-raising comments, but I think mostly I’m just too small a writer to draw that kind of attention.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I don’t? think so? Think my tastes are a little niche for most people to bother ^^;
Have you ever had a fic translated?
I had someone apologize once for any language mistakes in their comment cause they had to run it through a translator! That’s not what you asked (the answer is no), but it’s very flattering to think that someone liked my fic enough to read and comment despite the language barrier.
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yes! :D @pidgeonpostal was gracious enough to agree to co-write Five Nights at Denny’s with me off an idea about shoes. This has fulfilled a long-held dream of mine (collabing with someone, not the shoes) and also introduced me to some lovely people.
What’s your all time favorite ship?
Who has time for just one? ;3c Honestly, I care more about the characters and how the relationship – any relationship – between them changes them than I do about ~A Ship~ as a solid, bounded noun-object. I’ve got characters I like more and less and feelings about who does and doesn’t have chemistry in which directions with whom, but finding anything that agrees with those preferences is hard, harder when you take alloromanticism into account. I’ll play in any sandbox with cool toys, especially if other folks have already built sick sandcastles there.
What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
[kicks every single unfinished fic further under the bed] What nooo no WIPs here, everything on my account is either finished or does not exist
I’ve got a couple extra chapters of Sweeter Than floating around unposted, but 1. that fic’s a mess 2. high school Twixt and post-college Twixt are different people and trying to contort myself into three other me-shapes just cause people Like this fic is not something I’m super interested in 3. it’s headed for an emotional dip and I’d rather leave it where it is than post two chapters, stall out again, and leave folks with a bad end.
As for other fics... it’s looking more and more likely that v7 of my Yellow Brick Road AU will never actually make it out. >w>; I’ve got some really great ideas, but not enough to make me feel like I know what I’m doing, and that’s a big roadblock. Plus trying to engage with RT’s Atlas-Mantle worldbuilding in any serious capacity is... a headache. I can’t recommend the Happy Huntress Cinematic Universe enough, but it leaves some pretty big shoes to follow! And I’ve got small feet. <w<;
What are your writing strengths?
Dialogue’s fun, probably as an extension of characterization. I love tearing into what makes people tick, especially against the backdrop of their environment, the story they’re in, and the people they’re up against. Voice is a double-edged sword; I’ve been told my writing is really recognizable and individual, but on the other hand, I’ve been growing frustrated with with the limits of my narrative ability. There’s a strong rhythm I keep when I write (you might notice it here, even) but that leaves me feeling predictable and stale. I’m not sure I’m great at setting as a matter of course, but I’m pretty good at describing setpieces where the need comes up; that comes from my background in poetry, as does the fun I have with sublimating and abstracting complex imagery. And I think I bring some needed nuance to the universal. For good or ill, I don’t do what “everyone else” is doing.
What are your writing weaknesses?
Well, writing, for one thing. If I don’t know how something’s going to go and don’t have the urge to write it, it isn’t getting done, which means there’s a billion things that will never see the page and a few hundred more that are never getting finished. I lose momentum easily and have a hard time getting started, and I put way too much standing on finding a foothold with other people; as critical as I am of my work, I have high expectations for the stuff that passes muster, and it never seems to measure up. I’m also really uncreative. Yeah, I can mix up elements and extrapolate events, but coming up with things wholesale is really hard, which is why I avoid it wherever possible and steal/reskin stuff from other places instead.
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
Something along the lines of “Hoo boy, I am Not qualified for this but hopefully it’s decent anyway.” Maria’s Spanish lines haven’t been a big deal – I’ve used it sparingly and, as a Latin language, it should be easy for English-speaking audiences to pick up on the gist – but I’ve had a harder time with Tai’s Chinese, both because I have Even Less background there and because it is, of course, an entirely different language system. If I write it out in English or Romanized italics, am I colonizing it or changing the meaning? If I write it out in the presumed-original characters (presumed because it’s Google Translate and who knows if I’m even barking in the right forest), am I confusing or alienating my presumed-majority-English-speaking audience? Where should I put the translations? Should I put the translations? And for Frisk’s sign language, thinking back, are the brackets I used instead of quotes alienating/infantilizing? I like that different characters give the text between a different feel, but I’m not an ASL speaker – and I’m pretty sure the word is “speaker,” which would only reinforce that that demographic would rather I didn’t do that. It’s important for all these characters, I think, that they use non-English language where it makes sense; it’s part of who they are. But as a white monolingual English-speaker, I don’t think I can really weigh in.
What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?
Thaaaat’d be Pokémon, followed closely with Sonic the Hedgehog. Whether those fics are still on my ff.net account or not (pretty sure I’ve purged them, but you never know) I’ve still got a couple saved to a folder on my current laptop, ostensibly so I can look back and see how far I’ve come and more practically to allow for the possibility of furthering group cohesion through public shaming.
What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?
I still like the idea behind The Man Who Is Atlas, and Burning Bright (Still Awake) gets props for being my current fic, though it’s currently in that spot where I’m excited to get new chapters posted but also quietly marking everything up in red pen. I think Harbinger gets the crown here, at least for now.
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heathtrash · 4 years ago
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Is there anyone who writes hackle as well as you? I’ve reread your fics so many times and don’t know how to find similar/as good things. Like what are some of your favourites?
wow i can’t take that compliment i’m afraid. there are plenty of people who write much BETTER hackle than i and who have a lot more skill and experience writing fanfiction. my attempts are very very low down among the most popular fics.
my first tip is to filter the ao3 fics in the hackle tag by most kudosed/commented and then by ratings or tropes or tags you like. one problem with filtering by kudos is that early works have much more kudos because of the activity of the fandom back then versus now, and also the more kudos something has, the more likely it’s going to be seen and given more kudos - but you’re still going to find the classics! filters are your friends though - if you like long works, filter by word count etc.
i confess my plan to catch up with hackle fics i haven’t read yet has not progressed in about 7 months because i used to do most of my reading on the london underground and i have not actually physically set foot outside my front or back door since the beginning of march!! so all of these are probably going to be older recommendations and i hope those will still be welcome! i also have reading anxiety (a very unkind symptom from academia-related trauma) and also forever guilt from not using 1000% of my time to work on my wips but look i’m rambling excuses shhh
here are some of the fics in no particular order that made me grin like a fool and gay gasp on the tube, to the bafflement of my fellow public transport users:
Strawberry Creams by @rainshaded - super sweet sweetshop au that just makes me happy
We Belong Where Love Finds Us by @cassiopeiasara - v cute winter snowed in/cabin fic with lots of warm fuzzy feels
Between the Lines (I remain, affectionately yours) by @emiline-northeto - epistolary fic between ada and hecate while hecate is on a research trip in paris. oh my stars this one. i was lucky enough to be able to remix this for a challenge so i pratically lived in it for five weeks and it’s so heartbreakingly beautiful
Finding Joy (series) by @marvelousmadmadammim - could not be complete without this utterly iconic collection and not sure how to even begin to describe
Just Like The First Time by @meridelclarke - oh heck elderly hackle? this is my marmalade
Right Here By My Side (An Ada/Hecate Pre-Canon Timeline) (series) by @cosmic-llin - adorable collection of pre-canon stories
If I Told You by @rikubean in which hecate is bodyswapped with morgana v cute
this is by no means an exhaustive list!!!!! this is just what i could piece together from my shitty memory and what i have actually read (turns out probs not as much as i should have done)
reblog with your favourite hackle fics for anon (and for me to add to my super long “marked for later” list)!!
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