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manjuhitorie · 2 months ago

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Interview with Shinoda(Hitorie) - Ongaku to Hito July 2024 Issue - English Translation

Pain, Never to Go Away

Interview by Usami Yasuyo

2024 has brought Hitorie’s 10th year anniversary with it, along with the 5 year milestone of their current regime. The pillar of the band, wowaka, passed away in 2019, leaving the grieving trio to reform the band. Their newest single, “On the Frontline/Senseless Wonder[ReRec]”, features a modern iteration of a song previously written by wowaka, on top of one song written by each member, Yumao (drums), ygarshy (bass) and Shinoda (vocals/guitar) respectively. They are by no means going against the current structure of their band, they are rather stalwart souls in regards to ensuring that nobody forgets Hitorie’s origins. That they want to remain as four forever more—That’s the exact kind of emotions poured into their new numbers. I sat down with Shinoda to talk about his current perspective come Hitorie’s milestones, thus did he reveal details about his past trauma and his low self-esteem. Afflicted with a pain that fails to ever go away, they press on. What is it like to be in his shoes?

So, Hitorie is now 10 years old… how does that feel, what’s your verdict on the matter?

Shinoda: If it’s been 10 years since our studio debut then that marks year 5 of Hitorie’s metamorphosis. Did leader really leave us 5 years ago? Then that means… have I really been singing for 5 whole years? My mind is swirling. Along the way there was also was a 2-3 year period wherein we couldn’t operate as good old rockers due to the pandemic either so, to be honest it doesn’t feel as if 10 years have passed at all. It all just feels so complicated, and strange.

Do you mean that in regards to becoming the frontman as well?

Yeah. Since about a year ago we’ve been graciously given a fair amount of opportunities to perform in festivals and joint concerts. Thanks to them I’ve been able to watch a bunch of shows and analyse a variety of different frontmen, and you could say that slowly but surely the realization finally hit me: that “Hey, I also stand right up there too.” Up until that point I could never really get the reality that I stand center stage through my head.

You seem so ready to be the focus of attention though, I sense no hesitation in your shows and music.

Of course I’m prepared to do what needs to be done, but on the flip side for a long time I had this itch in the back of my mind that maybe I was somehow only convincing myself and pretending that I was the frontman all along. Like just telling myself “Yeah, you’re the totally the frontman, sure buddy.” I was trying to galvanize myself in a way too though, offering myself words of encouragement. Words strong enough to make me believe “Yeah, I can keep this up.” Nowadays we’re putting on heaps and heaps of shows, but the more we do it the more my weaknesses, or rather my shortcomings, become evident. Of course I’m also improving more and more with every show as well but, there’s still so much more I could be doing better.

When do you specifically feel your weaknesses and shortcomings become evident?

It all boils down to my skill level as a singer, plain and simple. The problem is that I feel I’m still a weak vocalist. I’m constantly comparing myself to people who are way cooler than me as well. Such as Maki-kun from Vanillas (Maki Tatsuya from go! go! vanillas), I just think he’s so cool whenever I see him, and I can’t help but worry how I pale in comparison.

I think there’s no reason to compare yourselves, you and Maki as counterparts both possess things each other don’t.

Hmm, I’m not so sure about that. Or maybe it’s just the way I am. My self-worth is inherently in the pits. As soon as someone or something cool catches my attention, I can’t help but immediately start comparing them to myself. A short while ago I saw the band “Mo’Some Tonebender” in Arabaki, and they were of exceptional nature, their coolness was off the charts. It made me cast doubts on myself like “I wonder if I’ll able to put on an act of their caliber when I’m that age too.” Or when it comes to the younger crowd, such as Akiyama Kiiro, when I saw his concert I thought “Wow he’s incredible, I don’t think I was nearly so capable back when I was that age.” My brain always makes it all about me and jumps straight to the negative. Yet nevertheless at the same time I do also sometimes catch myself wondering “Is there even anyone else fit to be Hitorie’s frontman?” For, it’s partly because I’m the type who suffers from anxiety that I’m able to make music. So, provided that I’m in a band, it’s practically a given for me to live hand in hand with anxieties.

On the same note as anxieties, you once before said that you feel you don’t have a clear-cut, singular core essence to yourself. Is this still the case?

Hmm, I think I’ve since changed a little bit. Last year we made an album titled “PHARMACY”, and for the promo tour we fashioned merchandise. Among them I had designed this cat plush, all just for kicks, yet somehow it took off. It started selling like hotcakes. This strange incident made something click for me (laughs). The plush has since been dubbed “Pharmacy Cat” as well. So after I heard that it was flying off the shelves, I had a revelation: now I know that I’m at the very least someone capable of selling cat plushies.

It raised your self esteem (laughs). I’m in awe that it wasn’t a song or a concert that was the catalyst, but rather a plush doll.

Yeah (laughs). Whenever I see that plush, it patches up the deficits in my heart. For I used to have nothing that stood out as “me” before.

I never got that impression though. When I read the lyrics of your song “On the Frontline”, specifically the lyrics “Get even stronger, I heard a voice say/Stuck in a world with no concept of right or wrong/My one and only heart/I give it whole to the things I want to protect”, they remind me of the exact way you, Shinoda, seem to throw yourself into the fray for the people you care about.

Excuse me, me?

Yes. That could be the reason why you were plagued with such stress 5 years ago, and why you had felt so pressured to take up the mantle to save the band. The song may have been written to be the opening song for the anime “Mushoku Tensei” but the lyrics really do feel like Shinoda manifest.

Those specific lines you mentioned, those had just popped out onto my paper thoughtlessly, earnestly, and with 0 stress involved. Maybe I actually am the kind of guy you mentioned, but, deep down part of me still feels like me being the frontman of Hitorie is just imprudent. I’ll forever be weighed down by the question of whether or not it’s okay for someone like me to receive as much charity as I do.

What exactly are you referring to by “charity”?

Being allowed to exist amongst the big names of the music industry, or sometimes being adored by my juniors, and things like that. “Should this really be happening to someone like me?” I often think. The more it keeps happening and happening, the more I want to meet their expectations; the more I’m flooded with the feeling I need to give something back. So maybe if you unravel it all far enough, the fact that I care too much for people might be at the root of it all.

What do you believe is the reason your self-value is so low?

Back in my 20s, before I joined Hitorie, I was doing music in Nagoya…

You were the vocalist for an indie band, correct?

Yes. In the end it all molded me into who I am today but, back then my music wasn’t received very well, and I felt I wasn’t loved nor needed by anyone.

I can tell you’re not the type to stay optimistic and bide your time in hopes that someone will fancy your songs one day.

Hmm. Back then I was not. I’m not a very wise person, and I wasn’t especially in a situation wherein I could take a step back and view things from a bigger perspective, I was kind of driven into a corner. So nowadays when people tell me that they’re fans of my old songs, such as Akiyama Kiiro, it makes me feel like “Wow, so everything does come back around and does serve a purpose, there was meaning to it after all.” It’s just the time investment required to finally get to this step is a lengthy one, that’s for sure.

The results aren’t immediate.

Exactly, exactly.

So after working with Hitorie, your self-esteem issues began to ease up?

Yeah, they totally did. Previously when Hitorie was a quad piece I stood on the stage as the lead guitarist, but prior to that I was composing all my songs and lyrics by myself on top of singing them all by myself in Nagoya. I was on the verge of my breaking point, at that point I couldn’t stand music that laid myself bare anymore. Until, upon joining this crazy band named “Hitorie” and becoming their guitarist, a large margin of my anxieties eased up. I was finally able to break away from 100 capacity venues, and somehow along the way turned into a rocker allowed on to bigger stages.

You have since returned to making songs that lay yourself bare, and singing them yourself as well. How does that make you feel?

Part of me thinks as if this is my karma, at the end of the day I can’t escape it. However, to be honest, my desire to sing and write songs never fully diminished even back when Hitorie was still complete, and deep down I had always hoped I would be able to do so. The only problem is the shape and form in which my desire came to a reality.

It truly does seem to be something you just can’t run away from.

Is this that thing people call fate? It circles around in the most twisted of ways. Life really is heavier than I ever could’ve imagined, when I think about.

You wrote a song for your newest single as well, and I would like to hear about your insights on it but, first before that there’s one point of interest I would like to touch upon. There’s 4 songs on the single, each written by all 4 members of Hitorie, including wowaka. Was this on purpose?

Yes. We came up with this idea in the early stages. We didn’t want to release just any old single, we wanted to take the medium called the CD and turn it into something with more oomph, more flair. Thus came the discussion of how to achieve this feat, and what you see today is the solution we conjured up. If we’re going to bring something into this world, then it needs to have a good reason and purpose. Which tied into how it’d be a problem if people forgot everything the four of us did together.

I see. The song you composed is named “Sakura no Itsuka”, and the lyrics speak candidly on your feelings about wowaka.

After we decided on our vision for the CD, the only one who didn’t have a song ready was me. I do have a stash of WIP songs which I could’ve pulled from but I instead opted to create a track from scratch. One which would represent the “resolution” part of the dramatic structure, with each of the 4 tracks respectively representing the beginning, development, climax, and resolution. For I thought it would be an effective means to strengthen the CD’s power and purpose, as I mentioned before, and to give it good justification for existing amongst our discography. I’ve written quite a few songs that tackle my feelings over losing wowaka now, that delve into means for us to cope and move on. Starting with curved edge…

That would be the first song Hitorie released as a trio.

Yes. But, unlike that single, this one has a 4 songs each written by all 4 of us so… I’m not sure the right way to articulate this but like, I felt that I couldn’t let the closing track on such a structured single just be run of the mill. I contemplated long and hard as to what exactly would be appropriate. After all that though, in the end I don’t think the song I wrote would appeal much to a special somebody (laughs).

Hahaha. What caused you to assume that?

I dunno, just a sixth sense (laughs). I just have a hunch that he wouldn’t care for the song very much. That he wouldn’t especially want to be written about nor seen in this light. For at the end of the day it’s nothing but an unelaborate ballad, to put it bluntly.

The lyrics are straightforward as well. “Yet again, a song you would probably hate/Keeps polluting the city/And yet a song you would probably love is something that we just can’t write/Something we could never write” gets to the heart of the matter, and from but a glance it’s obvious that the “you” in the lyrics must be referring to wowaka.

If he himself could hear the lyrics, I could just imagine him saying “Shinoda what happened to your alternative rock soul?” or “This isn’t like you at all?” (Laughs). “But, I can explain, everything’s been translated into the J-rock band format!” I would say back. I even refrained from overdubbing the guitar as much as possible too (laughs)! Yet the fact of the matter is that I up and used the man named wowaka as my muse. I’m worried, burdened by the fact that I’m practically expending his existence- and his absence both.

I wonder if anyone out there feels the same way though. From a third person perspective, as someone who has watched you become a wonderful frontman over the past 5 years and listened to the music you’ve created along the journey, I find it difficult to believe you’re “expending” his name, or to see it in that such cynical light.

I think there definitely are indeed people out there who think that way. To each his own, different strokes for different folks y’know. So l understand if people come to resent me over the song, so be it, I totally get it, it’s bound to happen. Yet nevertheless my wish to bring this song into the world and have it be heard no matter what won over all my concerns. What’s most important to me is for people to never forget that Hitorie was once the four of us.

#ヒトリエ #Hitorie #interview #shinoda #シノダ #On the Frontline

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