#actually compulsive | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wilted-astraea · 30 days ago

Text

Happy OCD Awareness Week!!

Second Week of October ( October 13th-20th, 2024 )

I don't see enough posts on this website about this awareness week, so I just wanted to come on here and talk a bit about the condition, the reality of having OCD, debunking myths, explaining how OCD functions in the brain, etc..

Firstly, let's get through the basics!

What is OCD?

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is a chronic, long-lasting mental health disorder that is primarily made up of two major components — obsessions and compulsions. People with this condition experience repetitive, unwanted, and often horrifying intrusive thoughts (obsessions) that lead to repetitive or ritualistic behaviors known as compulsions. Compulsions are performed in order to alleviate the anxiety and distress that are brought up by obsessions and serve as a way to neutralize or get rid of them.

Intrusive thoughts (obsessions) don't always come in the form of a random 'what if' thought. They can show up as urges, mental images, commands, ideas, and even physical sensations.

Compulsions are typically depicted as physical acts such as hand washing and cleaning or organizing. Did you know OCD compulsions can also be mental? Some people with OCD, such as myself, experience what is known as Pure-O. This is a subtype where the person has mental compulsions that are invisible and can't be observed by others. Examples of mental compulsions are counting, mental reviewing, compulsive praying, and more!

Understanding OCD starts with understanding the cycle!

What are Intrusive Thoughts, and Where Do They Come From?

If you've been on the internet a lot, you may have come across the term "intrusive thoughts." Unfortunately, like many other mental health terms, it has been widely misused on platforms such as Tiktok and revised to mean something that it does not — often getting confused for impulsive thoughts.

Intrusive thoughts are defined as unwanted, involuntary thoughts, images, or ideas that pop up in the mind and are often taboo and/or terrifying. One important thing to note is that they are "ego-dystonic," meaning that they are opposite to a person's true character, beliefs, and desires. This is what makes them so distressing and confusing for folks with OCD and other disorders.

But where do they come from exactly? Some researchers believe that intrusive thoughts are misinterpreted warning signals from the brain. Our brain projects these thoughts and images to warn us about potential dangers so that we can avoid these hypothetical situations and be prepared. (ex: standing on the side of a tall bridge and getting a random thought of jumping off) Similarly to why we experience feelings of anxiety. However, if you live with OCD or other conditions such as PTSD, this system is in overdrive and no longer functions properly.

The Reality of OCD

OCD is one of the most misunderstood and trivialized mental health conditions in the world. Many cultures have a very idealistic view of the disorder, often reducing it down to a personality quirk and has even been seen as a "beneficial" disorder to have. This could not be further from the truth and the reality of living with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is much more grim and scary. Living with this condition looks like so many things for so many people, so lets play a game!

(DISCLAIMER: If this is triggering for you, don't participate!!!) Imagine your worst fears. Think about how horrified you would be if those fears came true. If they have come true, remember how you felt in that moment.

Now imagine living with a brain that involuntarily forces you to think about those fears and gives you the false signal that they might come true if you don't do something to prevent it. Imagine doing something to prevent that fear from happening, but all it did is reinforce those fears even stronger, and now you're trapped thinking about them for what feels like an eternity.

THIS IS OCD!

A person living with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder will spend at least an hour or more performing compulsions in response to these obsessions. Onlookers might see us performing a compulsion and not understand why we're doing them. What you see on the outside is VERY different from what's going on in the inside. WE DO NOT ENJOY OUR COMPULSIONS, OR OUR OBSESSIONS!!!

Although obsessions don't always have to be centered around fear. Obsessions present in an infinite number of ways and look very different for each individual.

Common OCD Subtypes:

Contamination OCD, Harm OCD, Pedophilia OCD, Relationship OCD, Sexual Orientation OCD, Religious (Scrupulosity) OCD, Magical Thinking OCD, Suicidal OCD, and much more!

These obsessions can latch onto any part of you or your life. They can attack your fears, values, morals, identity/self-concept, relationships, and even trauma.

The Role of DOUBT

Did you know OCD has a nickname? It's known as the "doubting disorder." This is because doubt is a hallmark symptom of OCD and plays a huge role in the way OCD presents. When you have this disorder, you're unable to trust your own reality and you lack confidence in your attention, memory and perceptions. While most people can have an intrusive thought and brush it off, a person with OCD will experience a cognitive distortion where we apply meaning to these thoughts. "What does this thought mean?" "What does it say about me?" "What does it say about the future?" which forms an obsession and causes intense feelings of anxiety, distress and dread. We are unable to handle the uncertainty of these thoughts and what it says about reality. Therefore, we perform compulsions.

If you ask a person with OCD what it's like. You'll often hear it depicted as an evil entity hijacking our brains, having two brains, or being in an abusive relationship with your own brain.

In my experience, it really is similar to being in an abusive relationship with your brain. OCD comes into your life and gives you a false sense of security. It wants you to believe that it's there to keep you safe. But OCD is like a leech. It gets fuel off of your compulsions and uses that fuel to strike you with more obsessions while simultaneously gaslighting you and making you believe that you're crazy for having these thoughts. It convinces you that you need to keep performing compulsions because "it keeps you safe" when, in reality, compulsions reinforce our cycle. Compulsions may help you temporarily. But, what actually happens is that you're teaching your brain that the obsession was, in fact, a real threat and performing that compulsion actually protected you. This makes you more likely to perform that compulsion again when the obsession resurfaces because your brain is tricked into thinking it's a safe mechanism.

When we re-experience our obsessions, they may even multiply overtime. I'm going to give a personal example!!

In 2022, I experienced a severe Relationship OCD episode where I was plagued with fears of a person abandoning me. The initial obsession was "im afraid of this person leaving me" and after performing a compulsion, it then went from that thought to "what if I hurt him and he abandons me?" and then to "what if he finds somebody better and replaces me, which means he'll abandon me!!!!!" So every new intrusive thought can be traced back to the initial obsession — the fear of abandonment. Every compulsion performed keeps you more and more stuck.

Debunking Myths and Misconceptions

Myth #1: OCD is about being overly clean and organized.

While obsessions with cleanliness and symmetry do exist, this stereotype oversimplifies these behaviors and fails to recognize the deeper issues that cause these ritualistic actions. The act of cleaning things excessively or rearranging items is often dumbed down to a preference, when the reality is that the person is trying to reduce their anxiety stemming from unsettling obsessions.

Myth #2: OCD is just a personality quirk

This often coincides with the first one. A personality quirk is something that is taken lightly, but this is a mental ILLNESS. We cannot simply control these obsessions and compulsions, even though a majority of us are aware of the irrational and excessive nature of them. We do not enjoy them and they cause impairment, affecting multiple areas of our lives.

Although the exact cause of OCD is unknown, it's thought to be a combination of factors such as genetics, brain structure, and environmental factors such as chronic stress or traumatic life events.

Myth #3: Everyone is "A little OCD"

OCD is often used as an adjective to describe certain traits or behaviors such as being clean and organized. This language is highly dismissive of those living with the actual condition and paints an inaccurate picture of the disorder, more palatable for the general public to "relate to"

YOU DO NOT HAVE OCD JUST FOR HAVING A PREFERENCE FOR CLEANLINESS. IF YOU LIKE IT, IT'S NOT OCD!!!!!

OCD is a more complex condition than the general public makes it look. Reminder that the OCD brain is physically structured differently. It is a neurobiological disorder.

Myth #4: OCD is rare

According to the International OCD Foundation, 1 in 40 adults have it, or will develop it. 1 in 100 children and teens have the condition, which is about the same number of autistic youth worldwide. This may only account for those with an official diagnosis. Many go undiagnosed for years due to harmful misconceptions and stigma.

Myth #5: OCD isn't treatable

OCD isn't curable, but it can be treated with a combination of medication and therapy. ERP therapy is the golden standard treatment for OCD, but some may benefit from other forms of therapy. Antidepressants, or SSRIs, are also used.

Myth #6: Compulsions can only be physical

As discussed before, there is a subtype called "Pure-O OCD" or "Pure OCD" this name can be misleading because it implies that there are only obsessions, but people with this subtype experience mental compulsions. This type of OCD is harder to detect and people often don't realize they're performing mental compulsions because they feel more "automatic" and are seen as normal to the person performing the compulsions.

There are more misconceptions, but I'll leave it there!!!

Let's Talk Stigma!

While the stereotypes applied to OCD often leave the condition to be trivialized and not taken as seriously as other mental health conditions, it can be just as demonized.

In recent years, we've seen a surge of people opening up about their OCD-related intrusive thoughts/obsessions, only to be met with scrutiny from others who don't understand what intrusive thoughts are.

Intrusive thoughts are wrongfully understood as "hidden desires" that a person is trying to suppress. This idea perpetually paints a person struggling with intrusive thoughts as a "dangerous" person who needs to be avoided and locked away. Thought crimes do not exist, but our thoughts are often viewed as criminal if they are not socially acceptable. This can inadvertently worsen a person's OCD symptoms and cause more unnecessary reactions to thoughts that aren't based in reality. For example, highly stigmatized subtypes such as Pedophilia OCD involve intrusive thoughts about children that the sufferer does NOT align with. If they did, they wouldn't feel the need to perform compulsions. They wouldn't experience such intense anxiety and distress as a result. The real them doesn't want to hurt children. The real them may value the children in their lives (like a family member) but living with OCD means that it can ATTACK YOUR VALUES. OCD IS A GASLIGHTER!

This leads me into the ever exhausting topic of *sigh* Tiktok trends! If you've been around, you've probably seen the phrase "I let the intrusive thoughts win"

This trend is very damaging for OCD sufferers and has inadvertently added to the stigma and misconceptions around the disorder. Not only is the term 'intrusive thought' being widely misused across the internet to mean something that it doesn't, but the phrase itself is an oxymoron.

Users who participate in this trend often confuse an intrusive thought with an impulsive thought. They'll come across a thought such as "I should dye my hair pink" and get on social media with pink hair, claiming that they "let the intrusive thought win" when they actually acted on an impulse, an IMPULSIVE thought. This is harmful for those living with intrusive thoughts because it incites the idea that people dealing with an intrusive thought may act on those thoughts. So whenever a person comes on social media and decides to open up about their OCD-related intrusive thoughts, they're met with backlash from people who claim that those aren't intrusive thoughts, when they in fact ARE. People have conflated these two types of thoughts, leading to further misunderstandings of intrusive thoughts and OCD as a whole.

Additionally, this phrase doesn't make sense. It's an oxymoron, meaning that it directly contradicts itself.

Little PSA to those reading:

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS LETTING AN INTRUSIVE THOUGHT WIN. IF IT "WINS" IT WAS NEVER AN INTRUSIVE THOUGHT, IT WAS AN IMPULSE!!!

A person living with intrusive thoughts are the least likely to act on them, the opposite of an impulse. We are terrified of them. We do not entertain them.

Closing Off

If this post resonates with you and you're suspecting that you or somebody you love might be dealing with OCD, please try and book an appointment with a mental health professional who can diagnose you. I will link some resources below to help you get started!!

Living with OCD can look different for everybody, as it is a very individualistic disorder, but it can be extremely debilitating. The World Health Organization (WHO) has ranked OCD among one of the top 10 most disabling conditions worldwide, of any kind. Yet, OCD still remains one of the most misunderstood and trivialized mental illnesses. It's a much more complex disorder than people realize and can be easily confused with other conditions. I do support research-based self diagnosis, but if you're going to, please keep in mind that OCD is more than experiencing an intrusive thought. There is a diagnostic criteria that must be met.

OCD isn't cute, funny, or quirky. It's not a benefit to those who have it. It should be taken just as seriously as other mental disorders, but unfortunately, it's not. Statistics show that people living with OCD are 10x more likely to die by suicide and more struggle with ideation due to the velocity of obsessions. Many people with OCD report feeling incredibly lonely, as obsessions and compulsions take up many hours of their day and cause them to stay stuck in their heads, unable to connect to the world around them. So if you or somebody you love is struggling with OCD, just know that there is help out there for you. You're never alone, and remember: YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS!!

List of Resources Here!

29 notes · View notes