#ace five hargreeves

[surfthestardust]

Umbrella Academy characters as “bury your gays” style tropes except they’re not tropes, I made them up

Luther: apeify your straights

Diego (and Lila): institutionalize your bisexuals

Allison: deprive your straights of their loved ones

Klaus: resurrect your gays

Five: torture your aces with yet another apocalypse

Ben: bury your straights

Viktor: give your trans people unfathomable power

[highlyincorrect]

Luther: Let me get this straight-

Diego: More like let me run this bi you

Klaus: Let’s just see how this pans out

Five: We should ace-cess the situation

Dave: I’m gay

[little-crow-man]

I just found out about the Five asexual head cannons and I love them so much. I’m going to start making art about it.

[huntressofartemis001]

please they already took wednesday from me they cant take five too

[stephsageek]

Chapters: 8/? Fandom: The Umbrella Academy (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Number Five | The Boy/Lila Pitts, Number Five | The Boy & Lila Pitts Characters: Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy), Lila Pitts, Carmichael (Umbrella Academy), Original Characters, Historical Character(s) Additional Tags: Action/Adventure, Assassins & Hitmen, Big Gay Mobsters, teamsters, Road Trips, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, POV Alternating, 1970s, Sea Monsters, mandela effect, Time Travel, Superpowers, Established Relationship, Old Married Couple, Fluff and Angst, Flirting, Asexual Number Five | The Boy, Bisexual Lila Pitts, Protective Lila Pitts, Protective Number Five | The Boy, Old Number Five | The Boy, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Quantum Mechanics, Metaphysics, Magic, Science Fiction, Music, Recreational Drug Use, Mentioned The Hargreeves | Umbrella Academy, All the siblings via flashbacks, Older Man/Younger Woman Series: Part 4 of Partners in Time Summary:

Living outside of normal space-time, partners and temporal assassins Lila Pitts and Number Five Hargreeves, have been together for years, dealing with murder, mayhem, math, and the machinations of not only the Handler but of the board of directors themselves.

One day, our anti-heroes find themselves tasked with their latest mission: assassinate well-known historical figure and urban legend, Jimmy Hoffa.

How hard can it be to get rid of one washed-up, corrupt former teamster?

Turns out, pretty hard when the mob, a pair of hitmen, the FBI, and a jilted former mistress are all after him too.

Oh, and let's not forget the sea monster.

[magsneezo]

[radiumjuice]

I AM AN AROACE FIVE HARGREEVES TRUTHER!!!!

source: me

aroace and full of love 💥💥💥💥 thanks for repping the community king

[avnasace]

i do find it incredibly funny that in season 4 ben noticeably eyes the marigold bottle, takes the marigold bottle, disappears with said marigold bottle and then reappears with a round of glowing(!!!) drinks, yet the writers still decided that it wasnt obvious enough to us as the audience, and then made sure to verbally tell us that ben spiked the drinks with marigold. then they turn to klaus wondering why he is still normal, and then feel like they have to again verbally explain to us "ohhh you're sober!! thats why!!" when it was so clearly obvious.

but then they rushed everything else and left fifty thousand plotholes behind...

[desperate-daydream]

hi! can i rq a five hargreeves x aroace reader (friendship obvi) where reader is very anxious/paranoid & one of their comforts is touch, so five is always near them or lending him their jacket/small acts of care type of thing

☂️Umbrella Academy

❀ five hargreeves x gn aroace reader ⚣

A/N: Oh my gods, I'm still alive! XD thanks for your request! I hope you still enjoy this story even though it took a really really long time.

tags/warnings: swearing, reader has anxiety, five has flashbacks; plays in season 1

the best team

Five Hargreeves was a smart and strategic man but he had a soft spot; for his annoying siblings and you. You had started off as partners in the commission and became friends over time. He was the one person you had told about you being aroace - which he could relate to - and he knew about your anxiety. 

You were a great team together that always supported each other. You would help him with his flashbacks and he would help you with your anxiety. 

And that was about to skyrocket right now. You had helped Five to figure out the right equations to get back to his family and then he was finally able to do the jump - of course taking you with him. But apparently something went wrong because when you landed on the other side of the portal you were both in the bodies of your teenager-selves. 

“Fuck, something went wrong”, you heard Five muttering to himself. You were speechless when you looked up from your younger hands to the adults standing in front of you. One of them just asked: “Can you see little Five too?”. Then Five looked up too before his gaze went towards you. You felt like you increasingly couldn’t breathe anymore and looked at Five with wide eyes. 

You heard a noise and only when Five hurried to get up you realized that it came from you. 

„Okay, listen to my voice. Blend out everything else. Breath y/n. Breathe with me, alright?“ 

He blocked most of your view towards the adults who didn‘t know how to react yet. He took your hands in his to help you steady yourself - since one of your comforts was touch - and with some more helpful words and methods you calmed down. 

Five helped you get up then and went to the door while dragging you behind him and almost seemingly ignoring the adults who were then coming back to their senses. 

They followed closely asking what happened or simply repeating his name like they couldn‘t believe that he was right there. 

While walking you spotted your reflection in a mirror on the wall and flinched - you really were in the body of your younger self. 

You reached the kitchen and Five started making sandwiches as well as coffee for him and cocoa for you. 

„What are you doing?“, the tall woman asked. 

„And who is that?“, a guy in full black attire added. 

„We both need sugar to recharge“, he answered while continuing his work. You were just standing there merely happy that you didn‘t go into full panik. 

„And who the fuck is that?!“, the man repeated himself and emphasised it with a gesture towards you. 

„That is y/n. We’re colleagues.“

To others this description might‘ve felt offensive. You knew that in connection to you it meant you were trusted friends. 

„Colleagues?“, the confusion was clear on all their faces. 

Your mind slowly cleared and you started realizing that those people were Five‘s siblings. He had told you quite a lot about them - you were also the only one he had talked to about them. 

„Yes“, his answer had a little sharpness in it and your gaze shot up to him. You knew what that meant. He had pulled you out of your panic, now you started doing your best to prevent him from having a flashback. 

His gaze was already a bit out of focus and his movements slowed down so you hurried to get to him and touched his shoulder carefully. 

„Hey, you‘re not there anymore“, you slowly moved him around to the sink and turned on cold water. While you waited for it to be cold enough you pushed up the sleeves of his now way too big suit. 

Running cold water over his hands and forearms has always been pretty effective to get Five back in his body. You were relieved when he looked at you after a moment and nodded as a thank you. 

You turned off the water and dried both your hands. 

“Everything okay?”, one of his siblings asked with his brows furrowed. “Yes”, you answered while Five brushed it off with a wave of his hand. 

You helped him finish your snacks and stayed close to calm both of you. When you sat down at the table to eat it his siblings started their questions again. 

They had a lot of those and you spent enough time on this table that you leaned on your friend’s shoulder from being tired out. Five put his arm around you to steady your upper body. That way you rested a bit before both of you went to save the world - as the best team you'll ever see.

[emlynphoenix]

We now understand why Rob told us to go in with no expectations...

WTF was season 4??? (if you like it, I'm not hating on you-just my opinion)

Both Aidan and Ritu thought they were joking about the kiss until it was time to shoot and realized they weren't.

Ritu has known Aidan since he was 14/15 and they had to have a make out scene and implied sex. It's messed up on so many levels. This was planned and Steve was just waiting for Aidan to be legal. I'm honestly disgusted. He wanted to sexualize someone he's known since he was 13!!!! I just want to emphasize it. Every cast member tried to protest it, especially David.

David hated that they wanted to ruin the characters, which they did successfully.

Five stated he did anything to get back to his family (not direct quote). He and Diego had a tight bond, and suddenly his family didn't matter. Lila may have said she needed a break and something for herself doesn't mean she was going to cheat with her brother.

The writers must have forgotten about the show, forgotten about the bracelet Diego made was important to Lila. "I choose you"

Lila and Diego had 3 kids together, married, and she thought it was a great idea to cheat with HIS BROTHER!!!!! I understand they were stuck together for 7 years-needing comfort they looked to each other. That does not excuse their behavior.

I do not claim season 4 Five and Lila.

Season 4 was a disappointment to me. At least we still had Klaus being Klaus and Viktor. (I will always love Viktor)

[brionysea]

number five, an asexual with teleportation powers and a habit of disappearing off the face of the earth without warning: i don't fuck, i just fuck off.

[stargazingbitch]

"five had to have a love story" is an insane thing to say when you're talking about a character who sacrificed everything and the world to save his family (the people he loved the most).

Like idk if u noticed man but that's the whole plot of your show, that's five's great love story but i guess it's never enough to have platonic love as the center of a story is it?

[tiredtriedfailures]

ngl im GIDDY about the way Five cant be shipped. HES FOR THE ACEAROS. not only is there no canon possibility with the only characters being his siblings and their romantic interests, HES IMPOSSIBLE TO SELF INSERT TO LMAO. is he in love with a teenager? CANT. is he in love with a wonderful mature woman? cool, THAT WOMAN CANT BE ETHICALLY INTERESTED IN HIM BACK. there IS an unethically interested woman who DID know him as an adult man briefly but sadly shes a dommy mommy authority figure and Five is barely holding himself from biting her entire head off at any given moment. lovely. its just him and his insanity and his imaginary wife. literally me

[just-queue]

“Hot” take: Five is aroace

My proof

Mainly: dude was so annoyed having to go through puberty again. Instead of being excited to get his youth back, someone most older people desire, Five is DREADING it. As any aroace person can tell you, dealing with your libido is a chore and often feels gross.

Both his relationships occur after being stuck in an apocalyptic hellscape for YEARS. To me that is so demi or QPR coded (and due to trauma/need for companionship but I digress)

On top of that, there isn’t a single canonical mention or hint of Five having any romantic/sexual interest in anyone outside of isolation. Granted, it would have been weird for him to date a non-commission person due to his mind/body age difference, but the fact still stands!

QPR relationships can have intimate moments between partners (the kisses and dates and pet names we see in *shudders* s4). When you feel close to someone, it’s natural to want to express that. That doesn’t automatically mean it’s romantic, but there’s a huge lack of understanding in media.

I’m aroace and I want some representation

Like yall, just cause the actor grew up attractive, that doesn’t mean he needs a love story. He can have a happily ever after without romantic love.

[huntressofartemis001]

please dont take five from me please 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[person25]

I have to pretend like i don’t headcanon 70% of characters as aro/ace😔