#accurate engineering designs
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smithstructure · 7 months ago
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Smith Structure | Vision, Mission, & Policy for Excellence
Explore Smith Structure's vision, mission & policy for excellence in construction driven by values that ensure exceptional results & exceed client expectations
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bruhstation · 1 year ago
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updated casa tidmouth designs as of june 2023!!! yahooo!!! (claws the wall and rips out the drying paint pieces)
individual characters below the cut:
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snoodlebooper · 2 years ago
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wanted to have a design challenge so i ponyfied the tf2 mercs
not too proud of some of the designs but i tried
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t3chborb · 5 months ago
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I don't consider Ramattra difficult to draw, just very time consuming due to all the details.
... Excluding his ELBOWS, of all things.
Try extending your own arm and twisting your wrist and then entire arm. How in God's name do those kinds of motions (or in my case, poses) translate to a robot arm without a ball joint at the elbow???? I swear whenever I pose my arms to get a better idea on where the elbow itself points, which side of the hand has the the thumb, etc etc, then translate the information onto him, 99% of the time he ends up with dislocated elbows...
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orcelito · 26 days ago
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I do find it so funny that I will graduate college days away from my birthday. Like my birthday is literally in between the end of the semester ("graduation") and commencement
It really will be like a joint graduation & birthday party for me lmao
#speculation nation#i dont really do birthday parties anymore. havent in a long time. mostly just go out and do smth fun around my bday. ya kno#also have cake but like not in a party way. just like. here's cake lol#but im probably only gonna graduate from college once. which means i might as well live it up and all.#invite all sorts of extended family and people who have known me. etc etc.#actually it just kinda sunk in that i am. Computer and Information Technology (Systems Analysis and Design focus) w a minor in Communication#like those are words. it's a lot of words but actually it really is pretty accurate?? like that's indeed what ive been studying.#now how much i *remember* is another question. considering how long ive taken to get thru school lol#but that's what people will see on my degree. that's my Thing. graduated in Computer Systems and Talking.#idk it's just weird to have spent so much of my life on this and like That's the culmination. it took so much work.#even beyond a normal 4 years. i switched my major *twice*. switched my minor too.#first year engineering to undecided liberal arts (as a temp major trying to switch to computer science bc i couldnt stay in FYE)#but then computer science sucked so i switched to trying to get into computer & info tech. which is different. and better.#and ive been in it long enough now that ive kinda forgotten but it did take some fuckin work to switch into it.#like i had to take certain classes first & i couldnt take them during the semesters that in-major students would take them#and i had to have my gpa up to a certain level etc etc. so many hoops to jump thru. i think it took me at least a year. or more. idr#but i made it in and thats my major. thats my thing. computers and information systems and communication.#doesnt FEEL like im an almost-graduate. but then i think about all the things ive taken and learned.#and maybe i dont remember a lot of the more specific things from these classes. but i took core lessons away from each one.#wont be able to recite the theories but i can live them. and thats the point of an education i guess.#anyways im gonna have to start job searching before too long and eughhbb. need to get my license first tho probably.#which i will... i will.... i have so many things to deal with... my life will be So Different in a year...#it will require me to put in the work now. but i can do it. and then a year from now. i'll hopefully be in a better spot.#living somewhere else. graduated from college. with a license and a car. maybe even an IT job of some kind.#kind of scared of trying to find a Big Boy Job. aka a job that requires a degree and networking and all that shit.#rather than just showing up and being like Hi i can do this job. i am not a total drain of a person. hire me please 👍#hfkahfks so many things to think about. and through it all i am still dealing with DEADLINES...!!!!#but yeah this is why my writing has largely been put on hold. idk i have a lot of things im dealing with rn.
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bobcat-pie · 10 months ago
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i wish there were ways to say "this character is in STEM" in character design other than giving them a pair of goggles. Goggles DO INDEED fuck, but there has to be other options
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nnctales · 11 months ago
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Exploring the Diverse Landscape of Surveys: Unveiling Different Types
Introduction Civil engineering, as a discipline, relies heavily on accurate and comprehensive data to design, plan, and construct various infrastructure projects. Surveys play a crucial role in gathering this essential information, providing engineers with the data needed to make informed decisions. There are several types of surveys in civil engineering, each serving a unique purpose. In this…
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madison-tourmaline · 1 year ago
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I've been obsessed with translating asmr vibes into music for a decade and so far I've managed to think of three main principles and they are compression, phase alignment, and frequency modulation.
Compression is more about time than it is about loudness. You can apply compression as an effect to a sound and it will change the attack/onset and decay of the sound. It can change whether a sound feels close or far, light or heavy, in ways that constant volume can't. Compression can be a way to get that very tingly and satisfying tap or thwap or tonk or squish to a transient in a mix.
Phase alignment is hard to hear, but you can always feel it when it changes. I don't understand the whole thing, but it describes the period of a sound waveform when it crosses the centerpoint of its amplitude and how that relates to other waveforms in the same medium. Phase changes when a sound source gets closer or further from the listener (exhale into your hand while bringing it closer to and farther from your face and you'll hear it too). If a couple of similar waveforms line up with each other in that time domain, particularly when comparing stereo panned audio, they're considered to be coherent, and if they don't line up exactly or if they contradict each other then they're incoherent. Abstractly speaking when more than one waveform containing stereo right and left info are more coherent they sound more monophonic and centered and when they're more incoherent they sound wider and less centered. This can make sounds feel boring or annoying in isolation but the tingly parts of my brain love when this changes rapidly through a song and a rhythm.
Frequency is a massive part of making music tingly, or making it anything else, since it has a lot to do with what our ears and brains do and don't like to hear. On the surface it's the simplest part to explain, even though it's intimately connected with phase interference in practice — basically the volume of certain frequencies can completely change the perceived distance, direction, timbre and loudness of a sound. It can also suggest what the medium is that it's being heard through. It makes things underwater sound like they're underwater, it makes thin air sound thin and humid air sound humid, and of course it makes lofi lofi. Our ears are most tuned in to frequencies above 100Hz and below 7000Hz, with the sweet spots imo being around 220, 500, 800, 2400 and 6000, so focusing on that makes a good place for very satisfying asmr sounds. Adding frequencies below our above the ones in the middle of our range can bring more weight and more detail to it as well. Emphasizing different frequencies for the coherent sounds and the incoherent sounds can bring even more dimensionality to the feel of it. And finally, changing the frequency over time, like with a filter, can make that sound move even more.
So then the tingly music recipe seems to be using all three of these things together. Time effects like delays and reverbs help too. Keeping things right on the line between boring and distracting. There's a huge range of styles and sounds this can apply to. I will continue to experiment with this
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joelmillerisapunk · 9 months ago
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unbelievable
mechanic!Joel x f!reader
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masterlist
wordcount: 4,489
summary: the 'It's not just your car that needs fixing, is it?' Trope
warnings: 18+, unprotected p in v, lots of fingering, there's a joint, lots of 'sweetheart', some aftercare but like a bit different (I don't wanna spoil it) mentions of anxiety (bc I'm an anxious bltch and this would happen to me) fluffy smut?
notes: hiii 🥰 I hope you like mechanicJoel because I fell in love with him so fast, he has no right being so hot 🙃 The title is unbelievable by diamond rio, it felt pretty accurate to my inner Joel dialogue. a big thank you to @saradika-graphics & @firefly-graphics for the dividers (graphic designers deserve the world honestly)
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You've always had a thing for rugged men, and Joel Miller is the epitome of a handsome, rough-around-the-edges mechanic. His strong hands, grease-stained clothes, and confident demeanor make your heart race every time you see him, which has been a lot recently since your old car has been having its fair share of problems.
It's a hot summer day, and you decide to visit the garage where Joel works, hoping to catch a glimpse of him. As you walk in, the smell of oil and gasoline fills your nostrils, making you feel a little lightheaded. But then, you see him. He's hunched over a car engine, his muscular arms covered in sweat and grime. Your heart skips a beat as you take in the sight of him.
You approach Joel, trying to act cool and collected, even though your insides are turning to jelly. "Hey, Joel," you say, trying to keep your voice steady. "I was wondering if you could help me with my car again. It's been making a weird noise, and I don't know what to do."
Joel looks up at you, his beautiful brown eyes meeting yours. He wipes his forehead with the back of his hand, leaving a streak of grease on his face. "Sure thing, sweetheart," he says with an almost knowing grin. You've been coming to see him every couple of weeks for the past few months. "Let me take a look for you, darlin."
As Joel inspects your car, you can't help but steal glances at his muscular physique. You imagine what it would be like to run your hands over his firm chest and his stomach, to feel his stubble scratch against your skin as he kisses you. The thought makes you wet, and you squirm, trying to hide your arousal.
But Joel notices. He looks up at you, his gaze intense and seductive. "You seem a little flustered, sweetheart," he says, his voice low and husky. "Is there something on your mind?"
You swallow hard, trying to gather your nerves. The heat in the garage is making you feel more and more flustered, and the idea of Joel noticing your arousal only adds to your embarrassment. "Uh, yeah, I guess so," you manage to reply.
Joel's eyes rake over your body, taking in the way your shirt clings to your body and the way your nipples are hardening under the hot conditions. "I can tell you've been coming to see me for a while now. It's not just your car that needs fixing, is it?"
Your heart is pounding in your chest, and you can feel the heat rising to your face. "I-I don't know what you're talking about," you stammer, trying to deny the truth even to yourself.
But Joel isn't backing down. He steps closer to you, his body towering over yours. "I can help you with your car, sweetheart," he says, his voice a low growl. "But if you're looking for something else, something a little more personal, I can do that too."
Your mind is racing as you try to figure out what to do. On one hand, you've always had a thing for rough-and-tumble men like Joel, and the idea of being with him is almost too much to bear. On the other hand, you're not sure if you're ready for something like that with someone you're not even dating. As you stand there, frozen in indecision, Joel reaches out and gently takes your hand in his. "It's okay, darlin," he says, his voice soft and reassuring. "You don't have to decide right now. But if you change your mind, you know where to find me."
Joel continues working on your car, he takes his time, making sure to do everything a little slower. He runs his hand over the engine, and with every turn of the wrench and every adjustment of parts, you can't help but feel your heart race, your skin tingle, and your body heat up. He's wearing a pair of tight jeans that hug his thighs, and every time he bends over the car, you catch a glimpse of the outline of his bulge. You wonder what it would feel like to touch him there, to feel him hard and ready against your skin. Your mind races with fantasies of him taking you, claiming you, making you his in ways that go far beyond the mechanical fixings of a car.
Joel takes a bit of a break from your car, and you think he's about to tell you what was wrong with it. "You know, sweetheart, I could fix more than just your car," he repeats himself again, " I could fix all your problems, make you feel good in ways you've never felt before."
You swallow hard, trying to find your voice. "What do you mean?"
Joel grins, a knowing look in his eyes. "I mean, I could show you the kind of fixings that only a man like me can provide," he says, his voice low and seductive. "Make you mine, take you right here. I promise you, it's something you'd never forget.”
“Oh, uh I, uhm I need to -” You pause, looking at your phone, “I have a thing soon. So I should uh go when you're done.” You can barely keep yourself together as you fumble through your sentence.
Joel smirks, "Of course, sweetheart," he says, his voice reassuring. "When you're ready, I'll be here.”
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As you exit the garage, you feel a mix of excitement and anxiety coursing through your veins. Joel's words have left you feeling both turned on and terrified at the same time.
You spend the next few hours trying to shake off the encounter, but your mind keeps wandering back to Joel's words and the way his body made you feel. You can't stop thinking about the way his muscles bulged under his tight jeans, or the way his hair curled, his strong jawline, or the way those lips would part everytime he would focus on your car. You want to touch him, taste him, feel him- anything. And you're desperate to hear him speak that sexy accent of his once again.
When you finally arrive home, you let yourself into your apartment and immediately head straight for your bedroom. You shed your clothes as fast as possible, trying to rid your entire day from your skin. After your shower, you pull on a pair of shorts, your favorite oversized t shirt before padding barefoot across the carpeted floor of your room.
Just as you're opening your bedroom door to get a snack, your phone rings. You glance at your screen - a number with no name showing up - before answering the call, your heart pounding in anticipation. “Hello?”
You can hear a woman's voice in the background, "I told you not to come in my office. You can't just call random clients." Then you hear a muffled males voice and the woman again. "Yes... I understand she hasnt paid, but we don't contact clients until the end of the month."
You sit there unsure of what to do, should you say something? Should you hang up? Should you ignore her? Suddenly, you hear yelling. "Out - now!" she exclaims before apologizing for the misunderstanding and hanging up the phone on you. As you hang up the phone, you can't help but feel a sense of confusion and disappointment wash over you. You had been hoping that it was Joel on the other end of the line and that he was calling to follow up on his earlier proposition. But instead, it seems like you were caught in the middle of a heated exchange between a man and a woman, and you can't help but wonder what it all means.
You shake your head, trying to clear your thoughts. You know that you can't let yourself get too caught up in the idea of Joel. You need to focus on yourself and your own needs rather than getting swept up in the allure of a man you barely know. You've got plenty of people who love you, and it's better to prioritize your relationships than get carried away with a man like Joel. You know you wouldn't be able to handle it.
But then suddenly here you are. You take a deep breath and steel yourself as you walk back into the garage, hoping to catch Joel before he leaves for the day. The receptionist gives you a disapproving look as you enter, but you ignore her and make your way towards Joel, who has just finished up with a customer. As you approach, Joel looks up and sees you, a small smile spreading across his face. "Hey there, sweetheart," he says, wiping his hands on a nearby towel. "I didn't expect to see you again so soon."
You swallow hard, trying to find the right words. "I, uh, I had some questions about my car," you say, trying to sound casual. "I figured I'd come down and ask you in person."
Joel raises an eyebrow but doesn't say anything. Instead, he nods towards the back of the garage, inviting you to follow him. As you walk, you can't help but notice the way his muscles ripple under his shirt or the way his jeans hug his hips. You feel a heat creeping up your neck, and you hope he doesn't notice.
Once you're in the back, Joel crosses his arms over his chest and looks at you with a serious expression. "Listen, sweetheart," he says, his voice low and intense. "I know what you're doing, and I want you to know that it's not going to work."
You furrow your brow, confused. "What do you mean?" you ask, your voice shaking slightly.
Joel takes a step closer to you, his eyes never leaving yours. "I mean that I know you're trying to avoid what's going on between us," he says, his voice softening. "And I get it. I know I'm not the easiest person to be around." You open your mouth to protest, but Joel holds up a hand to stop you. "But I also know that there's something between us, something real and intense," he continues. "And I don't want to ignore it anymore."
You swallow hard, your heart pounding in your chest. "What are you saying?" you ask, your voice barely above a whisper.
Joel takes another step closer to you, his body almost touching yours. "I'm saying that I want you, sweetheart," he says, his voice low and seductive. "I want to make you feel good, to show you things you've never experienced before."
Your mind is racing as you try to process what Joel is saying. On one hand, you're terrified of the intensity of your feelings for him so soon, of the way he makes your heart race and your skin tingle. On the other hand, you can't deny the attraction you feel towards him, the way your body responds to his voice alone.
As you stand there, frozen, Joel reaches out and gently takes your hand in his. "It's okay, darlin," he says, his voice soft and reassuring.
You know that you have a choice to make, a decision to make about what you want and what you're ready for. And as you stand there, looking into Joel's beautiful brown eyes, you know that you're ready. Without saying a word, you lean in and press your lips to Joel's, feeling the heat and passion of his kiss. Joel responds eagerly, his arms wrapping around your waist as he pulls you closer. You can feel the strength and power of his body. As Joel deepens the kiss, he reaches down and gently lifts you up, wrapping your legs around his waist as he carries you over to a nearby workbench. He sets you down gently, cupping your face in his hands, "Be right back, sweetheart, don't go anywhere.”
Just as Joel turns to lock up, the receptionist calls out, "Joel, she can't stay here. She's not an employee."
Joel turns to her, his expression stern. "I'll take care of it, Linda," he says. "Just go home."
Linda looks taken aback, but she doesn't argue. She grabs her things and leaves the garage, shooting you a disapproving look as she goes.
Once she's gone and the doors are locked,Joel walks back over to you, a mischievous glint in his eye. He pulls a small joint out of his pocket and holds it up for you to see. "Ever tried this before, sweetheart?" he asks, his voice low and seductive.
You shake your head, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness. "No, I haven't," you admit.
Joel grins, lighting the joint and taking a deep drag. He holds it out to you, his eyes locked on yours. "Here, let me show you," he says.
You lean in, taking a tentative puff on the joint. The smoke is harsh and unfamiliar, but the sensation of Joel's hand on your back, guiding you, is intoxicating. You feel a warm, tingly sensation spreading through your body. He pulls back, his eyes shining with desire as he takes another drag. "You like that, sweetheart?" he asks, his voice low and husky.
You nod, unable to speak. You've never smoked weed before, but with Joel, it feels right. It feels intimate and exciting, like you're sharing a secret that only the two of you know. For a while, the two of you just stand there, wrapped up in each other, the world outside fading away, like you're the only two people in the entire world, and it's a feeling you never want to let go of.
But eventually, the joint burns down to nothing, and the two of you are forced to come back to reality. Joel grins, leaning in to kiss you again. This time, his lips are soft and gentle, his tongue exploring your mouth as he deepens the kiss. You can feel the warmth of the weed spreading through your body, making you feel relaxed and happy.
As you kiss, Joel's hands roam over your body, his fingers tracing the curves of your waist and the swell of your breasts. You moan softly, your body responding to his touch. You can feel the heat building between your legs, your clit throbbing with desire.
Joel breaks the kiss, his eyes dark with desire. "I want you, sweetheart," he says, his voice low and intense. "I want to make you feel good.” You nod, your body trembling with anticipation. You want him too, more than anything. You want to feel his hands on your body, his lips on your skin. You want to feel him inside you, filling you up and making you his.
Joel's fingers find the hem of your shirt, lifting it up over your head. He tosses it aside, his eyes raking over your body. You're wearing a lacy bra, the color of pale pink. Joel's fingers trace the lines of your bra, his touch gentle and teasing. You can feel your nipples hardening under the lace, your body begging for more.
"You're so beautiful, sweetheart," Joel says, his voice low and husky. "I can't wait to taste you." With a quick motion, he removes your bra, throwing it to the floor.
He leans in, his mouth closing over one of your nipples. His tongue flicks at the hard peak, making you gasp with pleasure. Joel's hands roam over your body. He reaches down, his fingers finding the waistband of your shorts. He tugs them down, his fingers tracing the lines of your lacy panties. You can feel his breath against your skin, hot and heavy. Joel's fingers find the edge of your panties, tugging them aside. His fingers trace the outer lips of your pussy, his touch gentle and teasing.
Joel's fingers find your entrance, sliding inside you with ease. You gasp with pleasure, your body responding to his touch. He starts to move his fingers inside you, faster, his touch more urgent. You can feel the orgasm building inside you.
"Fuck, sweetheart, so fuckin' tight," Joel growls.
You can feel yourself teetering on the edge, your breath coming in short, sharp gasps. Joel's fingers continue to work their magic.
And then, suddenly, you're there.
You cry out as you come, your orgasm ripping through you like wildfire. Joel's fingers continue, drawing out your pleasure until you're left weak and trembling in his arms. “S'okay baby, s'okay, you did so so good for me sweetheart.”
As your orgasm subsides, Joel pulls his fingers out of you, his eyes dark with desire. He licks his fingers clean, his tongue tracing the lines of your juices. You watch him, your mouth parted like you just watched him lick the tastiest ice cream cone.
Joel reaches down, his fingers finding the button of his jeans. He undoes it, tugging his jeans down over his hips. He's not wearing any underwear, and his cock springs free, hard and ready.
You can't help but stare, your eyes wide with desire. Joel's cock is long and thick, the head dark and swollen. You can see a drop of pre-cum glistening on the tip, and you can't wait to taste it. Joel steps closer to you, his cock brushing against your thigh. You can feel the heat of it, the hardness. You reach out, your fingers wrapping around the shaft. Joel groans, his head falling back as you start to stroke him. You can feel his body trembling, his cock twitching in your hand. You stroke him faster, your hand moving up and down the shaft. Joel's hands roam over your body. He reaches down, tugging your panties off in one swift motion.
You're completely exposed now, your pussy on full display. Joel's eyes darken as he takes in the sight of you, his cock throbbing in your hand.
"Fuck, you look so hot," Joel growls.
You've never felt so exposed, so vulnerable. But with Joel, it feels right. It feels exciting and thrilling, he reaches down, his fingers finding your clit. He starts to rub, his touch gentle and teasing.
"Do you like that, sweetheart?" Joel asks, his voice low and husky. You nod, unable to speak. "You're so fucking hot,," Joel growls. "I can't wait to taste you."
He drops to his knees in front of you, his eyes locked on yours. He reaches up, his fingers tracing your inner thighs. You can feel his breath against your skin, hot and heavy. Joel's tongue finds your clit, gentle and teasing. You gasp with pleasure, your body responding to his touch. Joel's tongue moves lower, tracing the outer lips of your pussy. His tongue finds your entrance, pushing inside you. You can feel him exploring his tongue, tracing your walls. Joel's fingers find your clit again, rubbing in time with his tongue.
"Fuck, Joel, m’gonna come," you cry out grabbing onto his hair.
Joel doesn't stop, his tongue and fingers continuing, his eyes don't leave yours, it makes him almost painfully hard watching you come. You cry out as you come. Joel's tongue continues to lick at your pussy, drawing out your pleasure.
"You taste so fucking good, sweetheart," Joel growls, standing up.
He steps closer to you, his cock brushing against your entrance. Joel's hands find your hips, his fingers digging into your skin. "You ready for me sweetheart?
"Yes, please, Joel." He pushes inside you, his cock filling you up completely. You gasp with pleasure, your body responding to his touch. Joel starts to move, his hips thrusting against you. His cock hits that sweet spot inside of you with every stroke. Joel reaches down, his fingers finding your. You can feel your body trembling, your pleasure building higher and higher.
"Fuck, Joel, I'm gonna come again," you cry out, your voice hoarse with pleasure.
Joel's thrusts become more urgent, his fingers moving faster. You can feel your orgasm building, your body tensing with pleasure until you come again. Joel's thrusts become erratic, his body tensing as he reaches his own release. He groans, his cock twitching inside of you as he fills you with his seed.
The two of you lie there, panting and sated, your bodies still tangled together. Joel's forehead is pressed against yours, his eyes shining with desire and affection. You can feel the warmth of his breath against your skin, the beating of his heart against your chest.
"You're so fucking perfect, sweetheart," Joel murmurs, his voice low and husky.
You smile, feeling a sense of contentment. But even as those thoughts run through your mind, you also know that you can't let yourself get carried away. You barely know Joel, and there are things about him that you don't know. Important things.
You take a deep breath, steeling yourself for what you know you have to do. "Joel, I... I need to go," you say, your voice soft but firm.
Joel's expression changes, a hint of sadness and disappointment flashing in his eyes. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asks, his voice soft.
You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. Suddenly, the walls feel like they're closing in on you, and you can't catch your breath. "I-I can't breathe," you manage to say, your voice shaking.
Joel's face falls, and he pulls you into a tight embrace. "It's okay, sweetheart," he murmurs, his voice soothing. "Just breathe with me, in and out. You're safe, I've got you."
You focus on Joel's voice, trying to match your breathing to his. Slowly, the panic begins to recede, and you can feel your heart rate returning to normal. "I'm so sorry," you say, your voice still shaking. "I don't know what came over me."
Joel shushes you, his hand tracing circles on your back. "It's okay," he says. "You don't have to apologize. You've been through a lot today. It's okay to feel overwhelmed."
You nod, feeling a sense of shame wash over you. You wanted to be strong, to be brave, but instead, you fell apart.
Joel must sense your embarrassment because he pulls back and looks at you with a serious expression. "Hey, listen to me," he says, his voice firm. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. You're allowed to feel however you feel, and I'm here, no matter what. Okay?"
You nod, feeling a sense of gratitude towards Joel. He's been so kind and understanding, even for someone who knows nothing about you and you can't help but feel drawn to him.
"Come on, sweetheart," Joel says, standing up and pulling you to your feet. "Let's get you out of here and into some fresh air. How about we go to my place and spend the night? I promise, no funny business."
You know it sounds crazy but a sense of relief washes over you as you agree. You don't want to be alone right now, and the thought of spending the night with Joel is weirdly comforting. As much as you know, you should probably just go home. Joel helps you get dressed, his hands gentle and reassuring. Once you're both dressed, he leads you outside and into his truck. He drives you to his house, his hand resting on yours the entire time. When you arrive, Joel leads you inside and shows you to his bedroom. He pulls back the covers and helps you climb into bed, tucking you in like a child. "Just rest, sweetheart," he says, his voice soft. "I'll be right back."
You nod, feeling a sense of exhaustion wash over you. Joel returns a few minutes later with a glass of water. He helps you sit up and take a sip of water, then lays down next to you, pulling you into a tight embrace.
You rest your head on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. It's soothing, and you can feel yourself drifting off to sleep.
"Thank you, Joel," you murmur, your voice sleepy.
Joel kisses the top of your head, his arms tightening around you. "Anytime, sweetheart," he says. "I'm always here for you."
As you drift off to sleep, you can't help but feel a sense of gratitude towards Joel. He's been so kind and understanding. For the first time in a long time, you feel safe, and you know that everything is going to be okay.
As you sleep, Joel watches over you, his eyes full of affection and concern. He's fallen for you, hard.
As the night wears on, Joel holds you close, his arms wrapped around you. He knows that you're not ready for anything serious, and he's okay with that. For now, he's just happy to be with you, to be there for you, to comfort you, and to make you happy.
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bigcollections · 11 months ago
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HEADGASKETİNFO - PLATİN
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jaythes1mp · 4 months ago
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Cat reader idea: which one is your favorite. Like Damian would be nice but he’s always on you for improper diet (you ate fruit and not the horrid wet food he leaves out for you)
Dick has no sense of personal space and he wants to squeeze your adorable little toe beans despite your protests.
Jason would be okay but he practically steals you at night for cuddles and for your own safety. Nothing safer than sleeping with a knife under your pillow.
Tim is iffy, he just likes your company, but the moment you sneeze he’s sending you to the vet- even worse when you get out, using your chip to locate you.
Bruce and alfred just adore you, but only get to see you now and then due to their busy schedules, mainly petting you when they walk by or doing your training.
:3 hope this is accurate lmao
Okay, this is beautiful and a perfect way to incorporate some things into the fic.
More on cat shifter reader.
01
Damian is 100% on your ass, meticulously keeping track of your dietary habits, setting up charts to keep track of your meal times, ensuring that the family knows exactly what you've consumed and what not to give you. This way, he can ensure that you're sticking to the food plan he's designed, with zero room for deviation. He even resorts to constantly reminding Alfred and Dick not to give you anything, no matter how hard your adorable little eyes plead up at them. Determined to make sure you stick to his meal plan. It’s even worse when you’re in your human form, despite his repeated warnings. — and don’t get him started on Jason. The man is the most difficult of them all to control when it comes to your diet. He completely ignores Damian's instructions and will immediately scoop you up and secure you in the cat carrier attached to his motorcycle if you even hint at being hungry. Then, he'll spirit you away to his apartment without a second thought, offering you an array of forbidden human foods in exchange for your sweet meows.
Don’t think about attempting to escape through him however, that would only lead to being futile. He's engineered his bike with a series of safety precautions, meaning that if you even displayed the slightest indication of trying to jump out or escape, the restraints would immediately tighten, making it virtually impossible for you to break out. Let alone breathe comfortably.
Moving back to your diet; Damian has completely altered the Wayne Manor’s kitchen to cater exclusively to your feline dietary needs. He’s even managed to ensure that the rest of the family has adapted their own diets to match yours, to prevent any accidents regarding food you’re not supposed to eat. Despite your attempts to reason with him, Damian refuses to acknowledge that as a human, you can safely consume foods like chocolate without getting sick. You’re a kitten after all.
Though, if by some chance you do manage to infiltrate the kitchen, an assortment of only the finest fruits are packed at the ready for you. Small bits of cut up mango, fresh unpackaged pineapple, blueberries, melon, bananas, apricots, apples and watermelon at the ready. The fridge always stocked full of cooked meats, fluffy cooked rice, boiled eggs, and vegetables.
Damian might not be overjoyed when you venture from the specific meats and hundreds of lavish wet food brands that he's tasked Pennyworth to prepare, he still begrudgingly accepts it as a form of compromise. As long as you’re eating things that fall within his carefully controlled parameters, he can justify allowing it. He’s aware that you need some form of autonomy and independence to survive in the manor, unlike many of his brothers.
He treats you the most reasonably.
02
Dick is definitely one of the people who gets loads of little cat clothes to dress you up in and needs to have you in his little cat bag so he can take you around everywhere.
Who cares about the numerous concerned remarks regarding your drowsy appearance? Dick simply laughs off their concerns. His kitten is just tired, he promises! After all, it’d be quite a hassle to have to explain to every person who stops for a photo that it's nothing more than the effects of the medication he's given you to ensure you remain placidly content and docile during cuddle sessions and neighbourhood walks.
Once Dick starts on your adorable little toe beans, there's no stopping him. He gushes incessantly about the cute contrast of pink and black on your little paws and how they're just perfect for the miniature cat-themed socks that Alfred has patiently taught him to make. He gleefully coos over your small digits, marveling at how perfectly they fit into the little socks. Aren’t you happy your big brother made them for you? Can’t you just purr this once, please? He won’t even get mad if you kick them off or tear them to shreds again!
He’s definitely the type to have an entire wardrobe filled with little outfits for you. A nice red bow tie to get you to look nice and handsome or a warm purple sweater for you to look pretty.
Dick's affection for you remains steadfast, even when you shift to your human form. However, in his mind, you'll always be his precious little kitten, and no amount of whining, hitting, or swearing can convince him otherwise. He's stubbornly determined to shower you with love and care, undeterred by any resistance you may offer. The world’s just too big for you, and he needs to protect you from it. So come sit on his lap and stop whining, the movie’s starting.
03
In stark contrast to Dick, Jason has a clear preference for your feline form, showing little interest in you when you appear as a human. He often ignores you entirely, showering you with love and attention only in your feline body.
It's a double-edged sword, this dynamic with Jason. On the one hand, you've discovered a way to make him leave you alone – simply appear in your human form, and he'll instantly lose interest. He'll glare, shake his head in distaste, and then storm out of the room, grumbling incoherently under his breath as he goes. Unfortunately, when Jason realises your tactic to avoid him, he'll barge into Tim's room unannounced, no matter the time of day or night. Tim, due to his habit of staying up late, will inevitably be awake, and Jason will insist that he make you transform back. Following his forceful tactic of making you transform back, Jason will quickly switch gears and act as though nothing untoward has happened. He'll enfold you in a tight hug and bury his face in your soft fur, nuzzling against you affectionately, completely unbothered by his previous behavior.
Given your penchant for exploring the outdoors, Jason often takes advantage of the darkness of the night to whisk you away. He's aware that you need to experience life beyond the confines of the Wayne estate's gardens, and he prefers to do it when the rest of the family is less likely to notice your absence. Or rather, more occupied with their nightly duties so they’re unable to stop him from taking you.
You’re still under complete lock and key, but at least you get to experience the night air every once in a while.
04
If I had to pick my favourite out of the ones you’ve written I’d go with Tim’s. It’s the one I agree with the most.
Tim likes to keep you sedated. Having you laid out nice and docile on his lap, desk, or of the many cat trees that litter the place, while he works away on the batcomputer.
He’s the most precocious, being particularly meticulous when it comes to your well-being, even the slightest sneeze prompting him to arrange a visit to the vet. Monthly veterinary checkups are non-negotiable, and he ensures that your health is consistently monitored. Saying that, he’ll never take you to a hospital with doctors that specialise in anything other than animals.
A sleek, high-tech collar encircles your neck, constantly transmitting your vital signs in real-time to Tim's phone. Additionally, a microchip planted in your body and trackers strategically installed on various parts of your anatomy ensure that they can monitor your location at all times ensuring that under no circumstances are able to escape.
Tim is the one who suggested and ultimately confirmed your declawing, dismissing your protests and tears as mere tantrums. Despite your pleas and emotional outburst, stating that it would render you disabled — equivalent to cutting off your fingers down to the knuckle — he remains cold and uncompromising. Your objections are disregarded, treating your fears as if you were a pet throwing a tantrum, denying you any agency in the matter. If you didn’t want this to happen, you wouldn’t have scratched them in the first place. It’s easier this way, really. They get to look after you in human form and there’ll be no more scratching up their arms or the furniture.
Initially, Dick supported your side, recognising your profound distress and desperation. However, after a conversation about how you would be completely reliant on him while in your human form, he changed his stance. He stopped giving the issue a moment's consideration, fully accepting Tim’s conclusion.
When it came to the decision, Jason and Bruce were in favor from the beginning. For Jason, it meant his new couch would remain unscathed, and prevented you from clawing at Bruce during business meetings while he held you snugly in his lap.
The sole member of the family fiercely opposed to the idea of declawing you was Damian.
Nevertheless, to Damian's dismay and your own, you'll be made to undergo the declawing against your will anyway. Despite his disagreement, he'll still be there to gently bandage up the raw nubs where your former fingers once were, and he'll lovingly pet away your tears and sobs. You were still his kitten, he’d coo. Just a slightly less fierce one.
05
I’d have to disagree with you here.
Bruce will undoubtedly make time for you, despite any disagreements you may have. You're a top priority in his life, and he'll ensure that you receive the attention and care you deserve.
The eldest Wayne will go to great lengths to accommodate you in his busy schedule. He'll happily reschedule meetings and carve out special time just for you. If there's a vital meeting he can't avoid, he'll bring you along, insisting on having you by his side.
You’re theirs, through and through.
Thanks for the ideas! Any and all asks are encouraged and appreciated.
Previous cat asks: 1 2
Link to Masterlist.
Link to offical chapter
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carpkoinobori · 1 month ago
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[☆] mean girls — momo x reader
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[𖤐] 1/1 [please be aware this is all fiction! none of this is real and idols behavior is not accurately represented.]
song(s): applause - lady gaga | moments in love - charli xcx | paparazzi- lady gaga | old friend - mitski | mean girls - charli xcx | west coast - lana del rey | pink in the night - mitski
summary: getting on the survival show sixteen was really just a way to kickstart your acting career. who would’ve guessed it’d take such a toll on you?
pairing: momo x actress!reader
tags: not that much angst, happy ending, barely frenemies traumabonded to situationship to kinda friends to lovers, reader is just a little unstable, there is a good amount of fluff though
wc: 9.3k
cw: dieting, mild sexual content, alcohol, cigarettes (smoking), mention of covid, making out (like 4 times)
ex: not beta read, timeline was as accurate as I could make it given the fact that for some reason no one knows where twice was at during november and october of 2017
a/n: is it me if the story doesn’t have either an ed/restriction reference or catholic elements.. I love charli xcx’s music. reader has a “disgraced” older sister
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you were 17 years old when you were told you made it onto sixteen.
you were a JYP trainee— not for an idol group, no, for acting. Yet, you were put into singing and dancing classes. It was a bit weird, but as long as you could perform, you didn’t mind.
you did pretty well, actually. You weren’t a top trainee by any means— this wasn’t your true passion— but you were good. You enjoyed dancing, and were pretty talented with hiphop and other less restrictive styles.
your parents had forced you into ballroom, specifically waltzes, even more specifically the Viennese waltz, since you could remember. You were a prim and proper, well-mannered, upper class girl. Perfect for acting, perfect for the silver screen.
Your father was a business magnate— specifically in transportation. He wasn’t like Samsung, no, but a manufacturer of luxury vehicles. He designed trains, bus systems, even planes, at time— he was a talented engineer, of course, but most of the work had now been relegated to employees. When you told him you wanted to be an actor, he didn’t really mind. Your mother didn’t look like she loved the idea, but it’d be good for the family image, so she conceded. After all, you’d succeed, right?
right?
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What they didn’t tell you about being on a survival show is how it gets into your head.
you were competitive by nature, fueled by your parents constant reminders you needed to be the best. You were the daughter of a powerful and rich businessman, with his perfect trophy wife— their only daughter needed to be perfect, of course.
you played instruments— violin, piano, flute— were in extracurriculars— tennis, skiing, dance, language classes— had an absolutely pristine record, and perfect grades. You were the poster child of perfection, a face fit for magazines and your family, the girl a mother would tell you to bring home.
But you know, it gets tiring to be so perfect. You hadn’t had any competition— until now, that is.
Sixteen perfect, beautiful, talented girls. Seven spots.
You had never felt more desperate to prove yourself than in that moment.
It was strange, really— you didn’t want to be in an idol group. You had never even considered it. Your passion was acting, it always had been, and it always would be.
but you had never been bad at anything your whole life. Everything you had tried, you had mastered, a desperate fervor to know and prove yourself. But here you were, for once, not the best at something— and it drove you absolutely crazy.
you needed to be the absolute best, the perfect candidate— the prettiest, the best singer, the best personality, the best dancer—
you couldn’t, though. and it killed you.
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You met Momo when you were 15. It was 2013, some time in the winter, although you couldn’t quite remember. Some people said she looked like you, but you didn’t really see it.
She had been a trainee for longer— since 2012– you had never really gotten the chance to talk to her, on account of the fact she didn’t speak Korean. Momo was Japanese, same as Sana. They were both close, obviously, and you had noticed they took Korean language classes with a tall Taiwanese girl you never bothered to learn the name of.
There were the trainees everyone knew would debut— Nayeon, Jihyo, Jeongyeon— and the trainees people didn’t really speak about.
You were somewhere in the middle. You had a lot of skills, both in instruments, languages, sports, and acting, but you weren’t a top trainee by any means. You stayed comfortably in the upper middle, a chance at debut but not too high, not too low to be kicked out, either.
You could dance well, of course, although you sometimes felt a burning pang of jealousy watching Momo dance. She was good at it, unreasonably so. It came so naturally to her. Like she didn’t even have to think about it.
and she was pretty, too. long black hair, black eyes you could drown in. You didn’t to stare too long. She was just.. noticeable. It’s not like she ever noticed. When she was dancing, the only thing that mattered was her reflection in the practice room mirror. Her friend, Sana, would glance at you once or twice, whenever you stared.
She knew.
you never noticed.
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Practicing for the competition was obviously stressful, but nothing you couldn’t handle. You were determined, strong, not weak. You learned English, Japanese, played the piano, violin, you had kind of forgotten the flute but you could, once— you had skied since you were four, played tennis at six— you didn’t know, yet, but you would graduate high-school as valedictorian, taking the maximum amount of AP’s for the last four years.
You’d practice till you got a move, perfectly. You were the first to enter the practice room and the last to leave.
you know, contrary to what you’d think, your father’s money isn’t what got you into JYP, or their idol program, or SIXTEEN— well, maybe it played a part into getting you into JYP, but the rest was all you. All your “friends”, other kids you knew, same or richer than you, spent their time partying, shopping, crashing cars and drinking.
some, of course, worked like you. There were parents who didn’t care what their kids did, and parents who needed their children to be the paragons of perfection. Usually, the more high-class your parents were, the more in the public eye they were. Korean standards were strict, and if you didn’t mean it, you’d watch your family apologize for you on public television, renounce your name, and at times, wipe you from the will. Most kids got a pass, their parents pulled some strings, and they were free. But others? Well, the kids that were forced to work hard were usually the ones who had to pay a price.
you would not be disgraced like your sister. She lived in America, now, and you hadn’t contacted her in two years. Not like you missed her. Not like you counted.
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“Momo, have you noticed that rich girl staring at you?” The dyed-brown haired girl questioned, twirling a pen in their shared dorm.
“What rich girl?” The long haired girl blinked, black hair dyed close to the same shade of her friend.
“The one sitting across from us? The one that the instructor always says you kind of look like,” she reminded, unimpressed, gesturing at her subtly with the pen.
“Why would she stare at me? She’s the daughter of some famous Korean businessman, we’re two random Japanese trainees,” Momo pointed out, causing Sana sigh and lean in a little closer.
“Momo, that’s not what I’m talking about! Even before she got moved to this dorm, she’s always looking at you. Maybe she’s jealous, you two are always getting compared to each other, after all, and I bet she feels threatened-” She rephrased, Momo’s eyes widening before she cut her off.
“Sana! Quiet down! She could hear you!”
“She’s Korean, Momo, she’s not going to know Japanese, let alone a dialect,” she pointed out, crossing her arms, flicking Momo on the forehead with an amused smile. “You know, I’m starting to think that time you hit your head really did have an effect on y-!”
“Actually, I’m fluent in both Japanese and English,” a cold voice piped up. “I don’t speak the dialects, but they’re understandable,” you added, shifting on the bunk-bed to rest on your hands, a carefully blank look on your face.
Sana turned to you in shock and embarrassment, and Momo pointed at her childishly, exclaiming, “I told you so!”
Sana and Momo had only been in Korea for about a year, at that point, and their Korean wasn’t exactly great.
“Ah.. I’m sorry..” Sana began, slowly, in Korean.
“I just told you, I speak Japanese. You don’t have to speak in Korean. That’s why they placed me here, though. To help you two with your Korean,” you informed, pronunciation sharp and undeniably the standard Tokyo-way of speaking.
“Right.. I’m sorry for talking about you,” Sana began, again, feeling a little humiliated, which made her a bit annoyed. She wasn’t a gossip or anything, you just stared at Momo a lot. It was noticeable. You two were constantly being compared to each other for your similarities in looks, after all.
“It’s fine,” you dismissed, with a wave of your hand. “I’m sure it seems like I stare a lot, but it’s just because I like to analyze the competition, not because I’m jealous of.. well, you two,” you voiced, regarding them both with an amused smile.
To be completely transparent, you were a little jealous of Momo. She was an absolutely amazing dancer. But of course, no one had to know that.
“You know we’re going to be on a survival show, don’t you?” you asked, with a tilted head and pointed stare.
“Well, yeah, we know.. but why am I competition?” Momo blinked, pointing at herself.
You let out a sharp, pointed laugh, almost in disbelief.
“You’re not a bad dancer, and don’t rank too low, either. It’s a seven member group. There’s not a lot of room to be mediocre,” your words were calculated, given sharply, seriousness gracing your words. Momo frowned, mood souring slightly at your clipped, dismissive tone. She didn’t notice, though, how serious you seemed— how some cutthroat ideology laced your words.
Sana did, though. As much as Sana presented herself as an airhead, she was unbelievably smart— especially with people. She knew intentions, how to talk to people, how to get what she wanted with words. You knew this, and recognized her for what she was— a clever, determined, but kind girl. She’d do what she needed to do to get what she wanted, of course, but she’d try to help you along as far as she could. It wasn’t clear to you, yet, if she’d give up her space to let someone else take it.
You weren’t sure you’d ever know.
“Anyway, I have some essays to finish. I’ll graduate this year,” you added, breaking the tension, laying on your bed and taking out your school laptop, beginning to write.
The two Japanese girls stared, dumbfounded, and quietly slinked out of the room after a few minutes. It was too awkward, and you seemed so unbothered, unflappable after that little display— some of the other trainees were intimidated by you, whispers of how you were only in this program to “challenge” yourself, or that it was sure you’d debut because of your father, or talents, or how you were the smartest trainee— all rumors, all untrue. You were placed here for a reason unknown to you, and didn’t even rank particularly high at the moment. You were slowly climbing the ranks, though, and had sat comfortably in fifth place by the time SIXTEEN started.
Although, you’re sure all those people who whispered about you in the halls would be shocked to learn that you’d never end up debuting in the nation’s girl group. A successful actress, of course, but an idol? That wasn’t your fate to have.
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Right at the end of June, falling into early April is when filming began.
Your life became practicing, training, working out, practicing, showcasing, and only barely sleeping.
You were still in a dorm with Sana and Momo, although a fourth girl— Chaeyeon— happened to be there as well.
She was the first to be eliminated, though, and it was just you three again.
Sana and Momo had gotten very close with another, younger Japanese trainee named Mina. Mina was very pretty, and had done ballet, and you could already just feel she would debut.
You liked Mina. She was probably who you were closest with. She grew up pretty well off, as well, and did ballet. You could relate to her, and she was the only one you’d keep in touch with after the show.
It was getting harder and harder to believe you’d debut.
Nayeon and Jeongyeon would definitely debut— Mina would, too, along with probably Momo and Sana. Dahyun was really popular, as well as Tzuyu, and there were only seven spots. Jihyo was too good of a singer to be sure what the final lineup would be, and Chaeyoung would be a good rapper— it was all so confusing. It made you all the more desperate to prove yourself wrong, though, because a part of you knew, deep down, you wouldn’t debut. A week before the first day of filming, you had snuck out to the convenience store. It was dark, late at night— you had a craving. Your father smoked cigars, your mother drank vodka and whiskey— not mixed, of course.
you were just scraping 18, now, having graduated in February. You couldn’t legally have a drink, or even smoke till 19, but a part of you itched to try it, curious.
obviously, you weren’t going to risk ruining your image. You loitered around the store, scanning the aisles, but ultimately not buying anything, unable to find something worth possibly gaining weight for.
the managers had been particularly strict before the start of the show.
you went back to your dorm, still restless, and exhausted at the same time.
the life of a trainee was draining.
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When SIXTEEN began, everything shifted. You and Momo were still dorming together, but Sana was moved with Mina and there were a lot of other changes.
you were becoming antsy and restless. Watching people get eliminated was taking a toll on you. You ate less, slept less, practiced more— it was getting to you.
momo had begun eating less. a lot less. You couldn’t afford to be worried, you had to focus on yourself.
What no one would tell you about a survival show is that bonds are fickle. You wanted to care about other people, but once you had gotten a taste of the applause, the fans, all the love that came with being in the spotlight— you got hooked.
you were popular among the fans, your skills weren’t bad, maybe you could really debut. It started worming it’s way into your head.
the hunger and exhaustion was making everyone a bit volatile, a bit too confrontational— you were guilty of it, too.
you refused to build any friendships, while you were there, but built a very strong rivalry with Momo.
Everything she did, you did, trying to do it better.
You’d practice at the same time, next to each other, giving backhanded compliments on form and criticism to each other’s footwork and lines
You’d try your best to outdo each other, fueled by the constant comparison and the fact that you two were almost never on the same team together.
but when Momo was eliminated, you felt your heart drop.
you told yourself it was good, less competition that way. But a part of you felt.. empty.
you practiced, going through the motions, but it felt wrong. It was all robotic. There was no passion or emotion, and for that, you were eliminated the ninth episode, along with another girl.
from there, you threw yourself back into acting. You made your acting debut about a year later, months after Twice had debuted.
no one would ever know, though, that you had watched of the rest of the episodes, and congratulated Mina on her debut, telling her you were happy the three of them (Mina, Sana, Momo) would get to debut together. You debated on telling Momo yourself, maybe heading to the practice rooms to do so, out of begrudging respect and happiness, but you never did.
and so began the next nine years.
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year 1; mid-May, 2016 | Korea
you had just exited the JYP building, into the cool night of the city after light rainfall. May wasn’t ever too hot, an easy 70 degrees out. It was a bit cold, but that was nothing. It was maybe thirty minutes to twelve, the city sparkling like the stars that were drowned out by smoke and light pollution.
You leaned on the building, debating on whether or not to go out to eat or just go straight home. You were pushed out of your thoughts when you heard the doors open and close, glancing at the person exiting the building.
Momo. Hirai Momo, with light caramel hair, now, looking tired, in some casual practice outfit thrown together hastily.
she still looked good.
her eyes were dark, glancing at some message on her phone. The bright white light illuminated her face, and you were about to quietly slink away when you both made eye contact.
“Momo,” you began, always eager to get the first word in, but not sure what to say.
She stared at you, obviously recognizing you. “Y/n,” she greeted. “I heard you’ve made your acting debut. Congratulations,” she offered, and the Korean off her tongue didn’t sound exactly right to you.
“Thank you,” you murmured. “I saw that you debuted. The song was good. Congratulations,” was your reply, tone polite. Momo knew that you and Mina still spoke, even going out to eat together whenever you both had the time, which wasn’t often.
“Thank you,” she replied back, and you hated how awkward everything felt.
“Well, I’m gonna g-”
“Do you want to come with me to the convenience store?” Momo asked, suddenly, immediately backtracking when your words registered. “If you have to go then go, don’t worry about it, nevermind,”
“I’ll go,” you agreed, not entirely sure why you did. “I haven’t eaten yet, anyway,”
the two of your walked a bit far off, entering the convenience store with a little chime and feeling the need to make conversation.
“So.. Momo, why are you practicing so late?” You asked, conversationally.
“We have so many albums and songs lined up, for this year.. we’re working on one right now. I’m sure Mina’s told you,” she murmured, voice low so as to not disturb anyone.
“She’s mentioned that you’re all.. busy,” you agreed, and you noticed how she looked thinner, more tired, somehow older in the span of a year.
she was still beautiful, of course, but you’ve been seeing beautiful people your whole life.
“Is it what you wanted?” You asked, forced lightness in your voice, though it might’ve come out more accusing than you wanted. It wasn’t her fault you got eliminated. Kind of.
She looked at you for a long time, fingers ghosting over some matcha candy you couldn’t name, parts of a life you probably wouldn’t ever see.
“I think it will be,” she replied, looking at the selection of green, instead of at you. the night was warmer on the walk back to your dorm. A grassy, slightly bitter taste sat comfortably in your mouth.
you’d have to start drinking matcha, more.
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year 2; early November, 2017 | Korea
Likey had just dropped, and signal had won Twice international success. They were pushing Japan, doing promotions there so constantly you had half a mind to just ask them why they wouldn’t move there, and a nomination to the Korean Popular Culture and Arts Awards.
you were there too, of course, for your roles in a myriad of dramas, at that point.
You had been the lead role in “Strong girl Bonsoon” and “My Ghost” respectively. You were young, yes, 19, almost 20, now— but you had achieved amazing successes, just like the girls you sat near, now.
there was a reason there were almost no pictures of twice at the awards, and you couldn’t find their speeches.
You won, not unsurprisingly, as did Twice, and sat through the performances. You spoke to Mina, easily, but she went to go talk to Jihyo about something, at one point, and you couldn’t really remember or care— both you and Momo could drink now, and they were giving out free champagne.
as the performances closed, everyone had received their awards— you headed to the bathrooms. They were empty, and you stared at yourself in the mirror. Face flushed, hair and makeup still intact, though, black silk dress unmarred by any stains, something you’d bought just to prove to yourself you made it, had your own money now, didn’t need your parents—
the door opened, and Momo appeared inside. It took one glance and the sound of a lock clicking before her lips were on yours.
she tasted like good alcohol and something sweet, your hands in her perfectly styled hair. She pressed you against the wall, your pretty and pink lipstick mixing with her darker one, pulling apart after nearly a minute and a half, panting, your eyes dazed and dilated.
“you have an apartment now, right?” she murmured, breathless.
you did have an apartment, bought the second you turned 19, trying to prove you didn’t need your parents, still. You had made it, for fucks sake.
“I do,” you answered, and you both managed to make it there without any cameras flashing.
your apartment was near the Han river, a testament to your success. It was small, one bedroom, with a large-enough kitchen and spacious living room, large windows that let the city lights in.
the apartment was bathed in a cool, blue glow, by both the night sky, and the building outside the window.
You and Momo had stumbled into the space, hurriedly locking the door without breaking the kiss, barely making it to the bedroom. The apartment had large, wide windows, taking up nearly the entire wall. There were curtains, of course, but they were a bit sheer, and white. The lights of the city illuminated the dark room, letting your fingers fumble with the zipper of Momo’s dress, getting it off.
Her hair was mussed, and you were sure yours was the same, but you didn’t care, right now.
Lipstick stains adorned her mouth, the two of you having created a muted, glossy color, that would later become a favorite, then something you hated, to something you’d think about, fondly.
She took off your dress, carefully— it was Dolce and Gabbana— although hers was much the same, in the sense that it must’ve been designer, as well, although you didn’t bother to check the tag.
Both articles of clothing ended up sprawled on the wooden floor, anyway, forgotten.
you kissed her desperately, the two of you thoroughly lost in each other.
your skin burned, her hands feeling too hot, your brain slowly melting away every other worry other than her.
to be honest, you were a little too drunk to remember everything that had happened.
you kind of wished you did.
Waking up the next day at four thirty in the morning was rough. Running on two and a half hours of sleep, you groaned when you heard Momo’s alarm go off.
she didn’t wake, though, you had turned it off fairly quickly, and the alcohol mixed with the sex— the word left a bitter taste in your mouth, for some reason— had knocked her out cold.
you watched her, for a bit. Hirai Momo was beautiful, you’d always known that. You never really realized it till now, though. Soft, short brown hair, dyed, a peaceful expression, smooth skin bathed by cold light, in a mostly white space.
your apartment was sparsely decorated, feeling more like a museum than a home. You didn’t even call it home, just ‘the house’ or ‘the apartment’. There wasn’t any life to it. It wasn’t a place to get attached to.
You contemplated waking her up. You didn’t really want to, but you knew you had to.
“Momo,” you murmured, placing a hand on her shoulder, shaking her. “Momo, you have to wake up,”
She groaned, turning, screwing her eyes shut. “No.. I’m tired,” was her muttered response, and you could barely even tell if she was speaking korean or japanese (it was japanese, she had only been in korea five years at that point. that’s not enough time to completely switch languages).
“Momo, your alarm went off, you need to get up,” you urged, speaking in japanese in hopes it’d get through her head, better.
She let out a sound of protest, but opened her eyes, sitting up. “What time is it?” She muttered, running a hand through her hair. The both of you weren’t wearing clothes, obviously, but the sight of her was still a little much for so early in the morning.
“It’s fifteen minutes to five,” you informed.
“I have to be at Inkigayo at five thirty,” she exclaimed, eyes widening. “Oh god,” she cursed, under her breath, distressed.
“Look, you can borrow some of my clothes. No one’s gonna know it’s mine,” you muttered. “You can keep it, so we never get caught for sharing clothes. Plus, the worst that could happen is we say you slept over because I invited you to go eat, or something.. it doesn’t matter, we’re two girls anyway,” you explained.
Momo stared at you, dumbfounded, still processing the words that came out of your mouth before agreeing. “Okay, yeah.. can I use your shower?”
“Sure,” you shrugged, trying to be nonchalant when she was naked in your bed, and looked too fucking good for having just woken up. Fuck those instructors, you definitely did not look like Hirai Momo. You wished you did.
you handed her a simple pair of pink sweatpants and a dark red hoodie. They weren’t things you had actually worn, yet, just thought they were cute. Momo wasn’t too far from your height, anyway, so they fit fine.
She showered, changed, and it wasn’t that long of a drive to Inkigayo, and a taxi could probably get her there in fifteen minutes.
it was 5:15, now, and she was drying her hair on the balcony. You had also gifted her a pair of white sneakers, to complete the outfit. It fit their concept, anyway.
you were on the balcony, too, watching the sunrise with a Bohem Cigar Shake hanging out of your mouth, lit.
Momo didn’t smoke, you had learned when you offered her one. She didn’t like the smell.
truth be told, you weren’t the biggest fan, but these were sweet, they left an aftertaste in your mouth a lot of people hated, but you kinda liked it.
You put it out on an ashtray once you accidentally burnt your finger tip, sucking on the mark and snubbing the cigarette out with your other hand.
Momo gave you a slightly concerned look, but you assured her you were fine.
she left in your clothes (no one would ever know, just you and her members) into a taxi you paid for, to perform at a music show you’d watch.
you and momo met on and off for the rest of that year, between promotions and award shows and restaurants and going shopping with Mina and taking pictures together and her visiting you on set—
the public called you great friends.
at least they didn’t see where her hands tended to rest.
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year 3; mid-February, 2018 | Japan
you were 20, officially.
Twice had begun their Japanese tour, releasing Candy Pop a week into February.
the 14th was the Gaon chart music awards, which twice attended, of course.
you were still filming some dramas in Korea, but had managed to get time off to go to Japan. For no other reason than the fact Japan was beautiful in February, of course. It’s not like you attended the Gaon chart music awards to see Momo— no, Sunmi had released some good music, too, and of course you were friendly with all of twice.
the after parties for the awards were always fun.
“Momo, wait,” you murmured, breathily, pressed up against some wall in the buildings seemingly-millions of bathrooms.
“What?” she blinked, deep brown eyes blown wide, staring deep into your own.
“I didn’t.. it’s. I got you something,” you admitted, quietly. You handed her a small, dark red box, that you had kept in the small black bag you had taken.
you were wearing 2017 MiuMiu, a black minidress that your stylist had complemented with pearls and silver, tightening the waist and removing some of the collar. What was left was a striking black dress, soft fabric, and a lower neckline, paired with, of course, a vintage black MiuMiu leather handbag.
“Open it,” you instructed, to which the other girl did, to reveal two Mikimoto pearl earrings, having 18kt gold yellow gold posts. You had found it at an auction, they weren’t relatively expensive— $500– and from ten years prior. You thought they’d suit her, and so you bought it.
she just stared at you, a bit surprised, dumbfounded—
“Why’d you get me this?” were the words that slipped out from her mouth. She had the same shade of lipstick on, this time liquid, and your lips were colored with a pink gloss, girlish.
“Don’t you know what day it is?” You laughed, amused, tilting your head. “It’s the fourteenth of February,”
“You got me a gift for valentines?” She clarified, slowly, recoiling, a grimace slowly morphing onto her face.
you noticed, of course.
“No,” you lied, easily. “For the win,”
you both knew it wasn’t true, but allowed yourselves to indulge in the lie just a little more.
you two were just high off the high-life, making it big for the first times in your life.
momo left your hotel room before you saw her in the morning.
the note; “早退してごめんなさい。コンサートがあったんだ。” (sorry for leaving early. there was a concert)
you knew there was no concert the fifteenth of February. momo was a horrible liar, but you knew, later, from photos, they were in an airport that day.
you never asked to where.
(It wasn’t a question, but she did send you a silver-chain necklace, a pearl-heart pendant, march 14th. you hadn’t taken it off)
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year 4; early August, 2019 | Korea
you were nearly 21, now.
“Momo, who the fuck is Heechul?” you spat, looking at a news article. The girl, who now had black wavy hair, a little lower than her shoulder, was currently lounging in your bed. Promotions for Dance the Night Away had just started, and she looked better than ever.
Her eyes widened, and she sat up, looking hurt and a little panicked. You never spoke to her like this, not since Sixteen, and you both rarely spoke in Korean, anymore.
“What do you mean? He’s just a friend-”
“Don’t lie to me,” you cut in, sharply. “You’ve been acting weird ever since I gave you those earrings, Momo. Why?” you demanded, the anger masking all the hurt you felt.
she was silent, for a bit, drawing into herself, looking to the side and holding her arms.
“We can’t be anything more than this,” she murmured.
“What?”
“I have a career. I have a group, I can’t just.. leave it all,”
“What are you talking about?” You asked, a little high pitched.
“We should stop. You.. you like me too much,” she decided. “It’s safer if I’m.. you know, with a guy. It won’t be favorable, but it’ll get people off us both. People talk too much, nowadays,” she continued.
“I mean.. it’s just that.. you know, we’re both girls. That’ll ruin both of our careers. And I like being an idol. I won’t.. I won’t just give it up,”
“Momo, are you serious?” You exclaimed, shocked. “You’re refusing to see me, when we’ve been pretending to be just friends for over three years now, and instead.. you’re gonna date some guy? Momo, that could ruin your career, too! No one knows about us, I haven’t told anyone! Why are you being so-“
“It won’t be as bad as if it were us two,” she reminded, pointedly and acidly. “Not all of us have a rich family to fall back on. I had to work to get here. I will not give it all up just because you want to.. to play around, and pretend we’re in love!” She cried, aggravated.
you stared in shock. You didn’t even know what to say, the whole reason you refused to use your parents was your desperation to be independent from them.
you knew what they’d do to you if they found out what you were.
you didn’t want to have to rely on them, in case they ever found out.
you didn’t want to be like your sister.
“That’s not fair, Momo. You don’t-“
“I do!” She shot back. “I do, this is fair! This is my life, this is my career, you don’t get to tell me what I should do! Just- god!” She shouted, throwing her hands in the air, collecting her things. She got dressed, fixed her hair quickly into a bun, and stormed out of your apartment.
“Don’t contact me again,” were her low, parting words.
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year 5; early January, 2020 | Korea
you had just turned 21 a little bit ago. the rest of 2019 had been absolute hell. you saw Momo everywhere you went— on advertisements, on tv, heard her on the radio.
and now, New Year’s Day, it was confirmed that she was dating Heechul.
you were in your apartment, still mostly empty save for a few things you had bought for her— like a tea kettle, an assortment of matcha flavored snacks, a second toothbrush—
everything hurt.
you did the only thing you could think to do.
you called your sister.
it was eleven something in the morning in New York, she’d have to pick up.
“Hello? Y/n, why the hell are you calling m-“
she was cut off by the sound of a choked sob, more like a hacking, and a shaky inhale.
“I get it now,” were your broken, pained words. “I fucking get it now,”
“Oh, y/n,” she murmured, quietly.
“I’m so sorry,”
10 years prior; late September, 2010 | Korea
“I’m gay. I have a girlfriend,” were the earth-shattering words your sister, freshly 18, had dropped on the shoulders of you and your parents in the middle of a family dinner.
“You’re what?” Your mother asked, slowly, giving her time to play it off. She stood, steadfast.
“I’m gay. I have a girlfriend,” she repeated, clearly.
Your father and mother stared at her, for a long while. You didn’t really know what would happen, yet— you had never heard your parents even mention their opinion on homosexuality, but there’s no way they’d care, right? It didn’t really matter-
“Get out,” were your fathers cold, flat words.
your sister nodded, once, clenching her jaw. She packed her things, appearing back downstairs within twenty minutes. (she had already packed the day prior. She knew how this would go).
“Wait, why does she have to leave? I don’t-“
“She’s not your sister anymore,” your mother informed, curtly.
“She’s not apart of this family anymore,” your dad restated.
“But.. why?” You asked, barely 13.
“It’s unnatural, and bad for the family image. It’s not good for us,”
you didn’t really think that was enough reason to kick a child out. But you couldn’t argue.
your sister left, that day, passing you her number secretly.
you didn’t have a bad relationship with your sister.
but for a few years, you refused to talk to her. You would not disgrace the family, you would not give up everything—
you just couldn’t understand why she give up a cushy life of luxury to go to school in New York, all for some girl.
“You’ll understand when your older,” she’d tell you, quietly, over the phone, when you both still got the chance to talk— before you had become paranoid of getting kicked out, like her.
“One day, you’ll meet someone you’ll love. You’ll love them, to the point that nothing matters as long as you’re together,”
“I don’t think I will,” you’d reply, so sure. “That’s stupid,”
“It is, isn’t it?” She’d laugh.
“You’ll get it, though, one day,”
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you had flown to America, right in the beginning of 2020.
you went to New York, to live with your sister for a bit— you just needed to be around family— family that wasn’t your parents. you got an offer to shoot a drama there, anyway.
you had no idea you’d end up stuck in america for nearly a year, due to Covid.
whatever, you’d think.
not like you’d have anyone to come back to in Korea.
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In America, you were more free.
no one particularly cared what anyone was doing— you couldn’t go out, and you were alone in the apartment you had rented.
your sister would come over with her girlfriend— now, wife, because you could get married, here— sometimes, but not often.
you smoked camels, now, unfiltered, by the balcony, overlooking a city so much the same and too different.
you texted Mina, a lot. She kept you updated.
you both made a point not to talk about Momo.
the necklace Momo had gifted you was left in your jewelry box in korea.
the house was a perfect snapshot of your life, then, untouched by changes.
it was a picture frozen in time.
god, fuck this place.
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year 6; late June, 2021 | Japan
you were 22, now, having made it back to Korea in late may after finishing your drama, finally getting everything together and back to your apartment in early June. Your return was publicized, there were a few people who still came to the airport even with all the restrictions, but you had made it back to your country.
it had really helped, to get it all out, put everything in perspective.
you still smoked camels, now you drank tequila— the remnants were mementos of a life most people wouldn’t see.
you flew to Japan, though— you had the prospect of an ambassadorship, and they wanted you to fly over, for some reason.
you messaged Mina about it— maybe you two could meet up, go eat. you hadn’t seen her in a while. you spoke, gave her your hotel and room number, and you both agreed to see if you could schedule it.
the next day after you'd messaged her, there was a knock on your door.
you thought it’d be Mina.
Momo had shorter black hair now. It suited her.
Momo had hurt you.
you cried for at least three weeks. She seemed happy enough when you saw her through a screen. she was still with Heechul. She shouldn’t be here.
you opened the door.
momo’s eyes were watery, and she looked up at you, pleadingly.
“Y/n,” she began, voice shaky.
“What do you want?” You snapped, even though you didn’t really mean to.
“We broke up,” were her words. You stopped, for a second. You knew what this was. You were her rebound.
“I-“
“When I saw you came back, I couldn’t take it anymore. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, y/n,” she murmured, crying now. “I didn’t want- I- I just.. I was so scared. But, I just- I can’t- it’s been too long. I can’t keep going without you, I need you, I..”
you pulled her inside, shutting the door, locking it, and pressing her against it. You hadn’t forgotten how her hair felt in your hands, soft and silky, how she always tasted a bit sweet.
people said she was a peach, but she didn’t exactly taste like it.
except for when she wore the peach lipgloss you got her, one time, as a joke.
she ran a hand through your hair, tugging on the strands, pulling you closer. god, she kind of reminded you of herself.
her tears made the kiss taste salty.
this time was different. it was not slow, it had no love in it. she had hurt you, she had left you, and now she was crawling back.
you left marks where no one but her would see. you ran your teeth over her pulse point, but never bit down.
your kisses were bruising and filled with anger and resentment.
this was a bad idea.
this was always going to be a bad idea.
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it was only around 11 when you had both felt too tired, resigning yourself to sleep.
momo had hated sleeping alone, without you.
she pressed her face into your neck, eyes screwed shut. you felt a little bad, despite yourself. you had been a bit mean..
“Momo, go to sleep,” you spoke, softly, carding a hand through her short black hair.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m sorry for leaving. please don’t-”
“It’s okay,” you interjected, because you really didn’t want to have to hear the rest of her words. “I don’t have a schedule tomorrow, anyway,” which was not true, you had to go discuss the drama you were shooting at one in the afternoon, but you weren’t telling her that.
they weren’t the exact words she wanted to hear, but they were as close as you could get, right now.
you ran a hand through her hair, as her arm stayed around your waist. she was clinging onto you, like you’d disappear.
you probably should, to get back at her, but you couldn’t bring yourself to quit.
momo was kind of like every bad habit you couldn’t quit— smoking, drinking— they weren’t good for you, but they made you feel better.
she was addictive, like that.
but here, in your hotel room bed, kind of like last place you saw her, now the first time you’ve seen her in almost a year and a half—
she kind of seemed like something you really couldn’t live without.
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July 8th, 2021 | Japan
they had flown back to Korea the day prior. You were still in Japan, when you saw the article.
momo and heechul had finally announced their break up to the public.
good, you thought.
you had gone out to eat with Mina a week ago, you both talked about your lives— work, vacations, how busy you both were. you asked about her members.
July 1st, 2021
“How is everyone?” you asked, with a tilted head.
“Everyone’s good, I’m happy we’re back in Japan, I got to see my parents, so did Sana, so did..”
“you can say her name, you know,” you muttered.
“Listen, y/n, I’ve tried not to get involved, but this isn’t good for you two. After you left, Momo could barely sleep. She ate less, too, and she still had to go on dates with Heechul to make it look real. She didn’t even really want to date him, she was just-”
“I know, Mina. But- you know, it’s not up to me. She’s too scared to be with me. She doesn’t really love me,” you chuckled, though it was more bitter than amused.
“I think she does,” she replied. “I just don’t think she’s realized it yet,”
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year 7; late May, 2022 | Korea
“Momo!” you called, just a few months into being 23.
you had decided to pick up Momo from the airport.
now, fans would never know, but you just really wanted to see her.
she had been in the U.S. for months, now, touring, and you had missed her.
even with all your miscommunication you both still met up, sometimes— you visited your sister as an excuse when they held their concert in New York City.
you did meet with Momo, after the show.
“How was America?” You asked, in english, as she got into the car. She looked tired, her hair now ash-blue and a little longer.
“Good,” was her response, a tired smile under the mask.
she coughed, and you glanced at her, a bit worried.
“Nayeon and Tzuyu are sick, too,” she mumbled. “Can you take me to the apartment?”
and so you did, the apartment she shared with Nayeon. You helped her with the luggage, and you tried to kiss her but she moved her face— she didn’t want you sick.
Nayeon, Momo, and Tzuyu all tested positive for Covid-19 the following day.
To no one’s surprise, you tested positive for Covid as well, but with very mild symptoms that felt more like an annoying cold.
you obviously couldn’t go to any filmings or schedules, and Mina ended up positive too—
so you drove to Momo’s apartment with soup. Like a lovesick idiot.
Nayeon let you in, and you knew better than to not bring her some soup as well. You handed it to her, and went straight to Momo’s room.
she looked.. sick. coughing, exhausted, you were sure she was achey and had a headache.
her fever wasn’t too bad, on account of all the medication she was taking.
“Momo?” you called, running a hand through the girls hair. “I made you soup,”
she sat up, blearily, looking a little hazy.
“I’ll get you sick,” she mumbled.
“I’m already sick, don’t worry,” you assured.
you fed her the soup, because you were that painfully whipped, talking quietly about what you had been doing since they went on tour.
you made her take some Tylenol, because her face felt hotter when you put the back of your hand to her forehead.
you got up to leave, but she grabbed your hand, tugging you back like a child.
“can you stay?” she mumbled, looking at you pleadingly. you would never say no, of course.
it’s not like you had something better to do.
for the rest of the time you were sick, you would visit Momo, watch dramas with her, sleep in her bed, next to her— you both acted so much like a couple Nayeon pulled you aside after almost a week.
“Y/n, I don’t know how long this thing with Momo has been going on, exactly, but it looks like you make her happy, so.. thank you. It’s been a lot, lately, with touring and Heechul.. take care of her, okay?”
she walked off before you could explain that, no, you two weren’t dating, and you were scared that if you asked her to date you she’d run away again.
you had to go shoot some drama, again, even if you really didn’t want to, after you tested negative.
you both got busy, after that. Especially you— you had so many dramas to film.
February 8th, 2022
@OT9TRANS … BUBBLE MESSAGE 🍑💬 220208 MM: I have watched Call, watched Burning, watched Nothing Serious, and Money Heist. I have watched them all🫠❤︎ MM: i really like y/n l/n nim ♡ She’s my style 🫣
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year 8; early January, 2023 | Korea
it was your 24th birthday party— you had turned 24 in winter of last year, but this was the only day you could make it work, because Twice had another tour starting in February.
You invited them, all 9, to noraebang— karaoke. obviously, some of your own friends came, too. You had made a lot of friends in the industry after so many years.
Momo’s hair was still black, grown out a bit more, but not as long.
you all sang and drank— Nayeon, particularly, having a good time singing every Twice song she could.
you sat next to Momo, pleasantly tipsy, and everything felt warm.
it was a little crowded, but you had rented a bigger space than normal. It was dim, the only lights coming from the screen in front of you.
after a little bit, you slipped outside. The place you rented had a rooftop, and you planned to make full use of it.
The skyline had changed from 8 years prior. It used to have less buildings, smaller skyscrapers— now it almost seemed as if the blue and red lights of the city were truly the stars in the sky.
You lit up a cigarette, this time, Cheyenne peach, and took a drag.
you heard a metal door open and shut.
Momo sat down next to you, and you offered her a drag.
she wrinkled her nose.
“They smell, y/n, why do you still smoke them?”
“Just a bad habit, I guess,” you shrugged.
she plucked it out of your mouth, tossing it to the side.
“It’s bad for you,” she chided.
how ironic, for her to say that.
“There’s a lot of things that are bad for me that I still do,” you replied, quietly.
she was silent, for a second.
she held your face, pulling you closer. She tasted like soju, which is to say smooth alcohol, of which you’ve been drinking the whole night.
it was sweeter than usual, because you can’t stand bitter tastes, and you noticed Momo was wearing nearly the same shade of lipstick as six years ago
your hands held her waist, loosely, the both of you sitting back on your heels, only leaning forward for each other.
when Momo pulled away, you felt a little dazed.
“I don’t want to be bad for you,” she mumbled, and all these years had seemed so childish— just two girls, trying to figure it out. You never wanted to hurt each other. It was just fear, and maybe a little shame, and so much love that it nearly drowned you.
“Momo,” you began, quietly. You knew that what you were going to tell her would force her away from you forever, but you didn’t care.
“I love you,”
the confession hung in the air, ringing through resounding silence. Seoul in January was cold, and your breaths could be seen in the air.
when Momo didn’t reply, you felt tears well in your eyes even if you knew this is how it would be.
“I’m sorry,” were your nexts words, and when you hiccuped, Momo finally broke out of her daze.
she screwed her eyes shut, snaking her hand to your nape, pulling you into her, kissing you desperately.
“no, don’t apologize,” she muttered, between gasps for air.
“I love you, y/n. I love you,”
it felt like the world stopped, in that second.
“I’m sorry for.. being scared, but I’m not anymore. I love you,” she repeated, wiping the tears from your eyes, thumb caressing your face.
“Really?” you asked, hope and fear mixing into your words. This could just be some cruel joke, after all, it could-
“y/n,” she said, seriously. “I love you,”
you leaned in again, and it was softer, now, feeling a year roll down your cheek, not from sadness but from relief, and happiness.
“God, Momo,” you choked out. “I love you so much,”
you both stayed like that, for a little under half an hour, telling each other all the things you wished you had so many years ago, making hopeful promises and swearing never to hurt each other again.
“Here,” Momo said, suddenly, producing another small box.
it was a beautiful silver chain bracelet, with a little pink gemstone in the center in the shape of a small star.
momo had the same bracelet on her wrist, though the gemstone was in your favorite color and the chain was in gold.
“Happy birthday, y/n,” she offered, putting the bracelet on your wrist.
you smiled, genuinely, eyes crinkling. You pressed a kiss to her cheek.
“It’s beautiful,” you admitted, softly, before a teasing smile worked its way onto your face.
“You’re beautiful, too, so do you think you could be my gift, instead?”
that comment earned you a slap on the shoulder and a chiding ‘yah’, but it gave you the view of Momo’s face flushing pink, and the sound of her infectious laugh.
“If you ask nicely, I’ll consider it,” was her response, in the end.
you and Momo were definitely dating, now, and you leaned your head forward, resting your forehead on hers.
“How do you say girlfriend in Japanese?”
Momo’s cheeks turned a little pink, again, and she was well aware you already knew, but she indulged you. It was your birthday, after all. “恋人” she mumbled, but you knew well enough. (lover)
a smile grew on your face.
“I know you already know Korean well enough, so you shouldn’t call anyone else 자기야 but me, okay?” you informed, mostly joking.
“Sure,” she agreed, smile blooming on her face at the thought of you calling her your girlfriend. “Anything you want,”
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year 9; early April, 2024 | Korea
Momo’s black hair had stayed the same for almost two years or so.
it was still a bit short, but you didn’t really care.
you were 25, now, didn’t smoke anymore, having been dating Momo officially for nearly a year.
You two had actually gone on a date— you had been commenting on each other’s Instagram jokingly for weeks now. Her fans had been convinced she would “not pull” with her.. strange choice emojis, but they didn’t know you had already fallen head over heels for the loser you were currently sat next to.
you went to go get something to eat, with her, and it was still a little cool in Seoul.
you took photos, together— and posted them— something you would’ve been terrified to do a few years prior, fearing a dating scandal or something worse— the destruction of your careers.
your worlds weren’t as scary, anymore. Twice had been around nearly 10 years, and you had been acting for the same amount of time. The public loved you, and though you didn’t feel like announcing your relationship status to the world, (you were both private, like that) it was nice to know that if anything were to come to light, you and Momo would be safe. Korea had gotten a lot more accepting, over the years.
your parents were still the same, though they had become less strict about it. Your sister came home, sometimes, and your mother might actually love her girlish and kind wife more than her own daughter.
you made jokes about it, frequently.
your dad didn’t know about Momo, neither did your mom— your sister did, but after what happened to her, she wouldn’t force you to tell them. You didn’t think your parents would freak out, demand you to leave and disown you— but you didn’t want to risk it.
on breaks, you and Momo would visit Japan, or any other city she wanted to go to.
if she had a fashion week schedule, well, you’d try to go! Especially as a fellow ambassador of MiuMiu. The public knew you both as close friends, so any antics were now ignored and written off as just friendship.
honestly, your house was better, now, because of her. The apartment was no longer something not lived in, out of a catalog—it was filled with little reminders of you two.
photos of each other, your achievements on a bookshelf, a tea kettle you’d thought Momo would like, her clothes she’d leave there, plants you thought would make the place look better, little knickknacks from traveling, a second toothbrush—
it felt like a home, full of little curios and plants, a reminder of the life you loved with Momo.
and now, as you sat next to her on the couch the two of you had bought together, under warm lighting and lights of the city outside the window, so much different than the one from the skyline eight years ago, completely different buildings but the same cool, multicolored glow, taking pictures for an Instagram post that others would call like it was, a “date”, but never know how real it really was—
you pressed a kiss to her cheek, smiling into it, as she took the photo.
she turned to you, an amused expression on her face, albeit a bit surprised, perfectly tinged the pink shade of the lipstick you used to wear—
“What was that for? You know we can’t post that-”
“I love you,” you interrupted, with a stupid smile on your face.
“I love you too, silly, but we still can’t-”
you cut her off, again, pressing a kiss to her lips, discarding the phone, somewhere, smiling as you cupped her face in your hands.
those pictures, of you two kissing? They wouldn’t be posted.
the rest would, of course, a day late— you had gotten a bit sidetracked.
it didn’t matter, though.
you truly, irrevocably, loved Hirai Momo. She was beautiful, talented, funny, kind— you could keep going, there were a million and one reasons to love her.
but for some reason, she loved you back.
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A/N: hi guys!! I had been thinking about this plot line for actual weeks but I managed to finish this in 10 days.. crazy.. I only started actually working on it 3 days ago though LMFAO
so.. there was a lot of research put into this fic. I tried to make the timeline as close to the one in real life as possible, but obviously there will be some inconsistencies. y/n is momo’s fav actress if you could not tell.. I wonder why
i don’t exactly love how this fic came out— I kind of lost the plot and repeated myself a lot. it actually came out completely different than how I originally imagined, which is why the song doesn’t exactly match? but I hope you enjoyed!
I will hopefully be posting more frequently.. I have a few things in mind, but my works take me a long time because I usually set them up, get the plot, then sit down and finish like 8k words in two or three days.
not beta read, I’m tired, maybe tomorrow.
please feel free to send asks and reqs! I love talking to you all <33 id love to know what you think..
I must sleep, now. goodnight, byebye!! ><
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theredengineapologist · 1 year ago
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They each get a unique transformation sequence, complete with music and sparkles!
If they're going from default engine forms to Magical Girl Human forms, their engine bodies will lift into the air by the power of Magic as their respective theme music plays. The frame of the engine becomes the silhouette of their human form, and as they move their hands and arms we see their paint coat become their dashing, smart, and frilly outfits! Then, at the end, they all do a unique pose and exclaim their names!
Or, vice versa! Default human forms into engines! They all have some kind of accessory (I'm thinking a watch probably) where Sir Topham Hatt can communicate to them that the railway is in trouble! There is confusion and delay! And they need the Magical Engines to help. Thomas and his friends run to the scene. And as they transform, you see the silhoutte of their human forms grow drastically in size until they become their engine forms (with a new, sparkly paint coat)! And then they gracefully land onto the track with a Peep! Peep!
t&f humanizations but theyre magical girls..........
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planesawesome · 1 month ago
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The F-15EX is a modernized variant of the F-15 Eagle fighter jet, upgraded with advanced avionics and capabilities. It offers improved air-to-air combat and air-to-ground strike capabilities compared to earlier F-15 models. Key features include:
Upgraded avionics with a new glass cockpit, improved radar, and advanced communication systems
Improved radar system (APG-82) for air-to-air and air-to-ground capabilities
Enhanced air-to-air combat capabilities with increased range and accuracy, and improved maneuverability
Ability to deliver accurate and precise strikes against ground targets with advanced precision-guided munitions (JDAM)
Longer range due to advanced engines and improved fuel efficiency
Improved maneuverability, including roll rate and sustained turn rates
Advanced electronic warfare capabilities, including detection and jamming of enemy radar systems
Advanced communication systems for communication with other aircraft and ground stations
Overall, the F-15EX is a highly capable fighter jet, but it is an older design compared to newer fighter jets like the F-22 Raptor or F-35 Lightning II, which may have superior stealth capabilities and advanced sensor systems
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mariacallous · 14 days ago
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On Saturday, an Associated Press investigation revealed that OpenAI's Whisper transcription tool creates fabricated text in medical and business settings despite warnings against such use. The AP interviewed more than 12 software engineers, developers, and researchers who found the model regularly invents text that speakers never said, a phenomenon often called a “confabulation” or “hallucination” in the AI field.
Upon its release in 2022, OpenAI claimed that Whisper approached “human level robustness” in audio transcription accuracy. However, a University of Michigan researcher told the AP that Whisper created false text in 80 percent of public meeting transcripts examined. Another developer, unnamed in the AP report, claimed to have found invented content in almost all of his 26,000 test transcriptions.
The fabrications pose particular risks in health care settings. Despite OpenAI’s warnings against using Whisper for “high-risk domains,” over 30,000 medical workers now use Whisper-based tools to transcribe patient visits, according to the AP report. The Mankato Clinic in Minnesota and Children’s Hospital Los Angeles are among 40 health systems using a Whisper-powered AI copilot service from medical tech company Nabla that is fine-tuned on medical terminology.
Nabla acknowledges that Whisper can confabulate, but it also reportedly erases original audio recordings “for data safety reasons.” This could cause additional issues, since doctors cannot verify accuracy against the source material. And deaf patients may be highly impacted by mistaken transcripts since they would have no way to know if medical transcript audio is accurate or not.
The potential problems with Whisper extend beyond health care. Researchers from Cornell University and the University of Virginia studied thousands of audio samples and found Whisper adding nonexistent violent content and racial commentary to neutral speech. They found that 1 percent of samples included “entire hallucinated phrases or sentences which did not exist in any form in the underlying audio” and that 38 percent of those included “explicit harms such as perpetuating violence, making up inaccurate associations, or implying false authority.”
In one case from the study cited by AP, when a speaker described “two other girls and one lady,” Whisper added fictional text specifying that they “were Black.” In another, the audio said, “He, the boy, was going to, I’m not sure exactly, take the umbrella.” Whisper transcribed it to, “He took a big piece of a cross, a teeny, small piece … I’m sure he didn’t have a terror knife so he killed a number of people.”
An OpenAI spokesperson told the AP that the company appreciates the researchers’ findings and that it actively studies how to reduce fabrications and incorporates feedback in updates to the model.
Why Whisper Confabulates
The key to Whisper’s unsuitability in high-risk domains comes from its propensity to sometimes confabulate, or plausibly make up, inaccurate outputs. The AP report says, "Researchers aren’t certain why Whisper and similar tools hallucinate," but that isn't true. We know exactly why Transformer-based AI models like Whisper behave this way.
Whisper is based on technology that is designed to predict the next most likely token (chunk of data) that should appear after a sequence of tokens provided by a user. In the case of ChatGPT, the input tokens come in the form of a text prompt. In the case of Whisper, the input is tokenized audio data.
The transcription output from Whisper is a prediction of what is most likely, not what is most accurate. Accuracy in Transformer-based outputs is typically proportional to the presence of relevant accurate data in the training dataset, but it is never guaranteed. If there is ever a case where there isn't enough contextual information in its neural network for Whisper to make an accurate prediction about how to transcribe a particular segment of audio, the model will fall back on what it “knows” about the relationships between sounds and words it has learned from its training data.
According to OpenAI in 2022, Whisper learned those statistical relationships from “680,000 hours of multilingual and multitask supervised data collected from the web.” But we now know a little more about the source. Given Whisper's well-known tendency to produce certain outputs like "thank you for watching," "like and subscribe," or "drop a comment in the section below" when provided silent or garbled inputs, it's likely that OpenAI trained Whisper on thousands of hours of captioned audio scraped from YouTube videos. (The researchers needed audio paired with existing captions to train the model.)
There's also a phenomenon called “overfitting” in AI models where information (in this case, text found in audio transcriptions) encountered more frequently in the training data is more likely to be reproduced in an output. In cases where Whisper encounters poor-quality audio in medical notes, the AI model will produce what its neural network predicts is the most likely output, even if it is incorrect. And the most likely output for any given YouTube video, since so many people say it, is “thanks for watching.”
In other cases, Whisper seems to draw on the context of the conversation to fill in what should come next, which can lead to problems because its training data could include racist commentary or inaccurate medical information. For example, if many examples of training data featured speakers saying the phrase “crimes by Black criminals,” when Whisper encounters a “crimes by [garbled audio] criminals” audio sample, it will be more likely to fill in the transcription with “Black."
In the original Whisper model card, OpenAI researchers wrote about this very phenomenon: "Because the models are trained in a weakly supervised manner using large-scale noisy data, the predictions may include texts that are not actually spoken in the audio input (i.e. hallucination). We hypothesize that this happens because, given their general knowledge of language, the models combine trying to predict the next word in audio with trying to transcribe the audio itself."
So in that sense, Whisper "knows" something about the content of what is being said and keeps track of the context of the conversation, which can lead to issues like the one where Whisper identified two women as being Black even though that information was not contained in the original audio. Theoretically, this erroneous scenario could be reduced by using a second AI model trained to pick out areas of confusing audio where the Whisper model is likely to confabulate and flag the transcript in that location, so a human could manually check those instances for accuracy later.
Clearly, OpenAI's advice not to use Whisper in high-risk domains, such as critical medical records, was a good one. But health care companies are constantly driven by a need to decrease costs by using seemingly "good enough" AI tools—as we've seen with Epic Systems using GPT-4 for medical records and UnitedHealth using a flawed AI model for insurance decisions. It's entirely possible that people are already suffering negative outcomes due to AI mistakes, and fixing them will likely involve some sort of regulation and certification of AI tools used in the medical field.
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nasa · 2 years ago
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Our Roman Space Telescope’s Dish is Complete!
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NASA engineers recently completed tests of the high-gain antenna for our Nancy Grace Roman Space Telescope. This observatory has some truly stellar plans once it launches by May 2027. Roman will help unravel the secrets of dark energy and dark matter – two invisible components that helped shape our universe and may determine its ultimate fate. The mission will also search for and image planets outside our solar system and explore all kinds of other cosmic topics.
However, it wouldn’t be able to send any of the data it will gather back to Earth without its antenna. Pictured above in a test chamber, this dish will provide the primary communication link between the Roman spacecraft and the ground. It will downlink the highest data volume of any NASA astrophysics mission so far.
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The antenna reflector is made of a carbon composite material that weighs very little but will still withstand wide temperature fluctuations. It’s very hot and cold in space – Roman will experience a temperature range of minus 26 to 284 degrees Fahrenheit (minus 32 to 140 degrees Celsius)!
The dish spans 5.6 feet (1.7 meters) in diameter, standing about as tall as a refrigerator, yet only weighs 24 pounds (10.9 kilograms) – about as much as a dachshund. Its large size will help Roman send radio signals across a million miles of intervening space to Earth.
At one frequency, the dual-band antenna will receive commands and send back information about the spacecraft’s health and location. It will use another frequency to transmit a flood of data at up to 500 megabits per second to ground stations on Earth. The dish is designed to point extremely accurately at Earth, all while both Earth and the spacecraft are moving through space.
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Engineers tested the antenna to make sure it will withstand the spacecraft’s launch and operate as expected in the extreme environment of space. The team also measured the antenna’s performance in a radio-frequency anechoic test chamber. Every surface in the test chamber is covered in pyramidal foam pieces that minimize interfering reflections during testing. Next, the team will attach the antenna to the articulating boom assembly, and then electrically integrate it with Roman’s Radio Frequency Communications System.
Learn more about the exciting science this mission will investigate on Twitter and Facebook.
Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space!
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