#abuse mention (fictional) cw

[oblisker]

shitty and dangerous friend vs literal eldritch god physically and psychologically abusing his ex-worshipper to the brink of complete insanity

[coockie8]

so would you consider plasmius to be abusive?

I mean, by humans standards, for sure. Absolutely. This thing will claw your face off when angry if you get too close, regardless of who you are.

But it's not a human, so human standards don't really apply here.

A relationship with Plasmius is a lot more like trying to bond with a terrified, wild animal. Sure you might be able to gain it's trust for a time, as long as you remain calm, but it's still a terrified, wild animal; it will lash out when backed into a corner, because at that point there is no "friend" or "foe", there's only "danger", and it will do whatever it feels it needs to do to protect itself from said danger.

[oneangstymotherfucker]

Tw for vague csa/abuse mention

Sometimes, yeah, I "get off to" the fics I write. And I definately like hearing that other people enjoy them, because I think everyone deserves things they enjoy and it truly makes me happy to provide a little of that for others.

But the reason I write what I write is so my brain has a place to spin out scenarios to try to make it okay. And by that I don't mean the things that happened to me. By that I mean the fact that I exist as someone who those things happened to. The fact that I live every day with the rammifications of one man's evil decision, wrapping themselves up and weaving themselves into every aspect of my life. And when I write I come at it from all angles- including sexual because I was a prematurely-sexually-awakened kid and that can make a person's relationship with sex a little confusing to say the least- to try to figure out how to live with it.

Fic writers don't write to normalize abuse. We write to normalize suvival. And survival isn't always pure and pretty and fluffy. I was not healed by a wholesome loving relationship, I was not healed by friendship or forgiveness or by trying to banish all darkness from my life and mind. I am healing myself by looking it in the eye. By getting elbows-deep in the darkness, letting it coat my skin again now that I am grown and safe. By forgiving myself for the tracks it left in my mind and body, accepting that it is part of my story and trusting myself to keep me safe.

That's what I'm trying to normalize. That it's good you survived, and it's okay to be "messed up by it". You are normal, and your existence isn't bad or tainted or dirty or wrong. You are good and innocent. You deserve to be here and you deserve a full, satisfying life with all the things you enjoy in it.

[alexandraisyes]

I understand that they are drawings and do not affect my daily life in any way but sometimes I start to think about the people who ship Dazzle with Sun and I get sad

Yeah 😔

I have friends who are on the way darker side of fandom (they're coping with their own CSA) and I just pretend I do not perceive. If it helps them heal from childhood abuse by their own parents then it's none of my business. It makes me sad too, but probably for different reasons than it makes you sad. I just ignore it and we talk about other things instead, and they know it makes me uncomfortable, but I understand the psychology behind it even if it does make me uncomfortable, so I keep my opinions to myself.

All I can do is hope that one day they find the inner peace that they're looking for and be as unjudgemental as possible. Victims of CSA cope differently, and I went through a phase where I was making content about parent/child incest too, because I didn't know how else to get out my emotions about what happened to me. Personally, I'm over it now. I've found my peace, and that's why that kind of content makes me uncomfortable now because I found my peace with what happened to me. They'll find their own peace too, they just need time, and in my opinion, as someone who used to be in their shoes, the most compassionate thing we can do is just let them get it out of their systems in a way that isn't harmful to them or others.

Also if I get any fucking harassment or hate for talking about my own experiences I will throw a public tantrum because you guys don't understand how fucking hard I fought to be comfortable talking about my trauma and yeah trauma is uncomfortable and it makes people act in ways that can be uncomfortable to see. I talk about it so people who are going through what I went through know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and those who aren't going through it can understand those who are. I've done a lot of shit I'm not proud of when I was younger, but I'm also not trying to pretend I didn't. I've grown as a person since then, and it's not something that I like talking about that often out of fear of harassment. Who I was then is not who I am now.

Ask Game - Send Me Confessions

[the-axolotl-skellie]

Toothless.

This... turned out darker than expected ^^"

Tw for implied CSA, bulimia, purging/vomiting, self starvation/refusing to eat, trauma, gross food, food trauma, food issues, psychological torture, obsession with control!

☽️Reblogs appreciated!☾️

The man who spoke in hands had his ways of getting want he wanted. Rather that be sexual pleasure or an unnecessary experiment. And Lune never got what they wanted, rather it be their consent or their opinion heard.

But Lune was rebellious.

So there were punishments.

The man who spoke in hands would purposefully only serve a dish he knew Lune had a negative reaction to. For whatever reason, the 'creature' would rather starve themself than consume it.

So Lune stopped being rebellious.

They gave in.

There was a time though, when the man who spoke in hands realized that a self inflicted punishment was not a punishment at all. He couldn't let Lune get their way by obeying him, and therefore getting served their regular meal.

So he decided if he gave the food, they would eat it.

...

After three days, Lune eventually gave up their protest, choking diwn the disgusting mush in order to not die of hunger.

And later that night, they ended up vomiting it up. That was one of the first times Lune had experienced vomiting.

It was freeing. Something... about not having that in them anymore, was librarianship to them. Like the man had not gotten his way. Like Lune won.

And so that day, food became another reminder of their lack of control. Lune needed food, but they didn't want it.

As years passed, and after they were taken in by Lust, it was still a thing that haunted them.

Anytime they had to sit down and eat, their mind immediately associated it with punishment, even if the food itself was fine. Anytime they had to eat it, their mind associated it with a lack of control.

Thry didn't like that, even if they didn't fully understand it.

And one time, Lust made refried beans, which, absolutely set Lune off into what could be described as a full blown meltdown. Because they didn't want that, but they didn't know why so they didn't communicate why.

So Lust was scrambling to try and calm down Lune, who eventually fled from the dinner table to the bathroom. The bathroom was a safe place, with water and privacy.

Running the bathtub wasn't an option though, they hadn't figured out how to turned it on. So that was just making their day more shitty.

Eventually they just started sobbing. Everything was bad today, everything! The food, the lack of swimming, lack of control, everything!

And then they felt sick again.

And that reminded Lune of an old trick they learned with the man.

And that they hadn't used it here, because there wasn't a reason to rebel again Lust, he was just trying to help...

But this helped too.

Lune had mildly calmed down, and crawled over to the toilet, peering inside.

Lust wasn't even in their thoughts by the time they did it. Raised two webbed skeleton fingers. The time they started purging. Amd even if they had been thinking of their current caretaker, this wasn't anything against Lust.

This was against food.

[g0blinwitch]

Not to get controversial on main or whatever but while yes, I do generally believe that people should be able to ship whatever the hell they want and not get harassed, I will still never call my self a proshipper. Like sorry man I'm not associating myself with a bunch of people who chant "Kill the cop inside your head!" with zero irony, take over POCD spaces with their fucking discourse, refuse to listen to victims of sexual assault/incest, and turn their heads at every shred of evidence that no actually, fiction can in fact affect reality. Like yeah don't get me wrong I've heard my fair share of stories of antishippers doing kind of shitty things, but I'd rather align myself with supposed "puriteens" than a group of immature people who chant that "they get off from the haterz bc degration kink!!1!!!111!!" over actually responding to criticism.

[electric-friend]

i don’t like the surge of casual ‘ed is an abuser’ vibes this izzy clip seems to have sprung. it’s actually making me sick with anxiety that the show is gonna make ed into someone i can no longer enjoy. i really really hope his relationship with izzy can be somehow fixed because if it can’t i think the new season will be really really really bad for my mental state and i mean that so genuinely and seriously it’s not funny.

[kamil-a]

making my own post to tangent about my ocs on the one hand this strengthens my resolve that green1 has been physically abusive in one of their relationships as an adult which has always been internally true to me but something i generally feel i wouldn't include in any outward works bc its not like worth the hypothetical discourse. it would be a weird dubiously canon factoid only applicable in tumblr slapfights and tbh might still end up being that but.

anyway this post struck me bc id never thought of it from green's perspective mostly the perspective ive thought of it from is that the other characters need to navigate around green1 and refuse for their own personal reasons to abandon them and the difficulty of navigating around someone you love very much whos unpleasant and honestly kind of dangerous in your life. but much to think about re does green1 regret it do they feel like theyve done something wrong or justified etc etc

[getonite]

WHY ARE 10-13 YEAR OLDS ON AO3 WISHING TO GROOMED BY A 2D CHARACTER??? :O

[howlsofbloodhounds]

Are you ok with topics of abuse?

I’m not sure how you mean this as, to be honest. But I will just say I am okay with discussing the topic of or topics involving abuse, in both a real life and fictional sense, so long as there’s “proper” heads up or warning beforehand.

This is so I can attempt to/try to remember to place content/trigger warnings in tags, so I and anyone else who stumbles upon my posts have some idea of what to expect, and thus be able to chose to engage with the content or not. I will also try to remember to use the ‘read more’ thing.

[the-bar-sinister]

The Seed that Grew a Pearl (5755 words) by thesavagesabretooth Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Pearl Fey/Trucy Wright Warnings: Gender Issues, Gender Confusion, Referenced Child Abuse

Summary: Trucy takes Pearl on her first ever clothes shopping adventure in preparation for Pearl to enter the police academy and become a detective. Back at home, the two of them start to talk about their relationship, and Trucy accidentally reveals a secret about Pearl that even Pearl didn't understand.

-

August 15, 2028– 12:35 pm

Despite Pearl having finished high school right around the time everyone had gotten back from Khura'in, Trucy hadn't seen as much of her as she wanted to. She'd been busy. Helping Maya getting things together in Kurain village, and getting ready for her own big change.

Trucy had missed her…but it wasn’t as if she herself wasn’t busy. The fallout of the Gramaryeland show, her new assistants, and the constant stress of running the Wright Anything Agency and working through her own school work…she’d not gotten the chance to reach out for longer than she would have liked.

But that changed today. She’d managed to get a little time, and she’d managed to invite Pearl out on an afternoon about town. 

They'd started with lunch in a little cafe at the corner of the shopping district that Phoenix had dropped them off at. Pearl was finishing up her boba, fishing around in the bottom of the cup for tapioca pearls, and looking a little lost in thought.

Trucy leaned on her hand with a little grin as she stirred what remained of her own with the thick straw. “Penny for your thoughts? Heck, I’d even give a dime.” 

Pearl laughed. "So generous! It's just my first time going clothes shopping, you know?"

“I know!” Trucy took a sip of her boba with a slight frown. “there weren’t exactly malls in your village…and there was kinda a uniform…but it’s pretty exciting right? Getting to go out and buy your own stuff?” 

"It is exciting!" she smiled, playing with the straw of her drink. "Kind of nerve wracking, too. I've never picked my own clothes before. I think I'd probably just default to my robes– but they're super not appropriate attire for police training."

Police training. Police academy. Trucy had known it was coming. Trucy had been the first one that Pearl had ever told. She would have killed to have been a fly on the wall when she told Maya. Not that she didn't know Maya would be supportive, but– the surprise!

Like a magic trick.

“Probably not! If nothing else I think they’d get dirty easy, and they’re not exactly made for like…skulking through crime scenes.” She tapped her finger against her chin. “but that leaves you having to figure out from like…step 0.” 

"Super step zero," she nodded. "I asked Big sis Iris and Mr. Armando for some tips, but I'm still glad I have you here to help me, Trucy. Oh! Speaking of which, since Iris is busy tonight, your dad doesn't mind me staying over, right?"

Trucy grinned widely. 

“Oh hooo, Miss Iris is busy tonight huh?” She leaned on her hand with a wink “if there’s good gossip, you gotta tell me….but of course daddy won’t mind! He likes you, and anyway, I’d insist! It’s been too long since we had a sleepover, Pearl!”

"It super has been," she giggled. "There's not any really good gossip– they just have Miss Lana over again, since she got out last month."

“Oh yeah! Everyone got real excited about that…” Trucy bobbed her head. The former chief prosecutor was someone she’d only met once or twice through her father…but from the way he, and especially Miss Ema, spoke about her it was clear she was someone important to a lot of them.

She’d finally gone free a month ago, and had been spending a lot of time hanging about the old guard around the various offices– and especially with Iris and Diego.

“They’re pretty close aren’t they? The three of them. She’s been visiting you guys a bunch!” 

"She has! She's pretty restrained as a person, but she got a little excited when I told her I was going to be going into the police academy."

"Yeah? I’m not surprised. Daddy told me she used to be like…a superstar detective turned prosecutor. She’s one of the reasons Investigator Ema is Like That.” She grinned at Pearl excitedly. “So she probably got excited to hear someone bright and cool like you wanted to join the force too! Admittedly it IS super exciting. Officer or Detective Pearl Fey has a ring to it!” 

"Awwww…. Trucy," Pearl covered her face as she blushed. "You're too nice to me! Um, hey can I ask you a favor, by the way?"

“Of course I am, Pearl! You’re one of my favorite people you know.” She leaned on her hand with a grin. “anything, what can magical girl Trucy do for you?” 

Pearl leaned on her hands, and smiled, but there was a sad, worried look in the shadows of her eyes. "You'll make sure I don't do anything weird, or embarrassing while we're shopping, right? I really, really don't want people to know I've never been shopping for myself…"

Trucy leaned forward and placed both hands on her shoulders, grinning warmly from ear to ear.

“Of course…it’ll be our secret , yeah?” She winked at her playfully “like a magic trick, nobody’ll be any the wiser.” 

August 15, 2028– 7:30 pmTrucy’s dad had of course let Pearl spend the night, especially when Trucy had begged him with her best puppy-dog eyed look, so when they got back to the Wright family home, they wasted no time in dropping the various bags and boxes all around Trucy’s eclectically decorated bedroom.

The shopping trip had been fun, very fun…and just like she’d promised Pearl, she made sure that nobody was any the wiser that it was Pearly’s first time hitting the stores in the LA malls and outlets.

The two of them had hit nearly every store (and Trucy couldn’t stop herself from picking up a new outfit or two herself), until Pearl was set with a whole new wardrobe for her first day in the police academy. But Trucy had to admit, the longer they shopped the more surprised she was by Pearly’s taste in clothes.

Not bad-surprised of course, she honestly found it pretty cool, and had to admit Pearl looked pretty great in it when she’d come out of the changing rooms to try them on. But it was still one heck of a surprise when the cutesy, traditionally dressed girl from Kurain Village went almost exclusively for outfits that Trucy would describe as ‘pretty damn butch’.

With how flustered Pearl had gotten when she pointed it out she had had to reassure her that she wasn’t ‘doing anything weird’ , or anything like that. It was just surprising— and, she had teasingly added, pretty dashing. 

Pearl–once more in her usual uniform after they'd finished shopping– flopped down on the end of Trucy's bed. "Wow. Nobody told me that shopping made you tired," she joked.

“It’s the mall,” Trucy joked. “It takes your energy like a big vampire as payment for the good times you have there.”

She took off her silk hat and placed it on its mannequin head, before she picked up a bag to set it aside and flopped down on the bed too. “Oough. It’s all the running around…and difficult choices!” 

Pearl flopped her head down on Trucy's shoulder. "So many difficult choices! Even with all the stuff I got there was still stuff to put back. … you don't think I got too much do you? It was probably too much."

“It’s a whole new wardrobe Pearl.” Trucy flopped onto her stomach as her bangs fell into her face. “Honestly I don’t know if you got enough”

Pearl chewed on her thumb thoughtfully and glanced between Trucy and the bags. "Maybe…. I did at least remember to get underwear…. and socks…. and new pajamas… Thanks for reminding me about those.."

Trucy leaned on her hand with a chuckle, waving one of the bags towards her. 

‘Well yeah! I’m kinda surprised you didn’t realize you needed them! But I know things were uh…different…in Kurain.” 

"It's going to be a big adjustment," Pearl said, still chewing on her thumb. "Sleeping in a dorm and everything. Aside from with you or Maya I'm used to being alone in my room at night."

Trucy nodded, watching Pearl with a bright and affectionate smile. “yeah? I’m not surprised…are you nervous about it? Maybe you’ll get a real nice roommate.” 

"I hope so! Did you know Vera Misham is going into the academy, too? we might end up rooming together."

Athena’s eyes widened

“Vera?? Huh! I had no idea…I mean, she mentioned wanting to get into law and stuff and get out of her house, but I didn’t expect that!” She grinned and scootched a little closer to Pearl “ She’s quiet too, that wouldn’t be too bad of a roomie situation! Fingers crossed! ...do the barracks dorms allow occasional overnight guests?”

"Gosh! I'm not sure! Do you think they wouldn't?" Pearl cocked her head curiously. "I guess if police training is anything like spiritual training they might now."

It was probably silly for Trucy to have asked. It probably didn't even occur to Pearl why they actually might not allow overnight guests.

Trucy giggled.

“I don’t think it’s anything like spirit stuff, actually. But they uhm…well..” She leaned on her hands with a flush. “They…may…object to people who are close ah, spending time very close…in their dorm beds. A-anyway! if they don’t allow it I can always just magic my way in and pull a vanishing act if the drill sergeant or whatever gets wise.” 

"That's because you're a super cool magician," Pearl grinned back at her. She poked her fingers together thoughtfully and seemed to reflect, as Trucy noticed her blushing. "You mean they don't want people being, uh, romantic, in the dorms, right?"

“Yeah…” Trucy nodded with a half smile and a flush of her own “they probably don’t want people getting romantic in the dorms…they probably see it as like , a distraction or something.” 

"Well, I mean that makes sense," she nodded. "It's kind of rude to be romantic in a dorm setting anyway. But it won't matter if we're all girls, right?"

Trucy tapped her chin. 

“if we’re all girls…maybe not? I dunno what the police’s stance on that is!”

She shifted on the bed thoughtfully, before she hugged one of the bags to her chest with a flush. ‘Romantic’. It was that word that brought up what had been on her mind for a while now. It was no secret to anyone that she was fond of Pearl…and the two of them had been practically dating for a long while.

But it was still ‘practically’, as they’d never talked about it despite going out on what could easily be called dates plenty of times. She chewed her lip thoughtfully “I think they could look the other way, probably?” 

Pearl leaned on her shoulder, blushing a little. "Is this your way of saying that you want to come visit me, Trucy?"

“Wellll….” Trucy hummed quietly. “Yeah, actually…it is! I mean, if that’s o-okay, you know?” 

Pearl covered up her face embarrassedly. 

"Well, I mean, of course it is. But– do you mean like, you know…." her voice dropped to a whisper, "romantically?"

Trucy bopped the top of her head with a flustered grin. 

“What if I told you ‘of course’? Can I be honest with you, Pearly? I know we’ve been close for a hell of a while now…” 

Pearl bit her lip and gave her a wide eyed look. "I hope you'd be honest with me, you know?"

“Always,” Trucy said with a flushed grin “but I mean…I’ve liked you for a while now, I’m sure you’ve noticed that, and we’re practically dating…maybe I’ve kinda wanted it to be less practically and more…you know.”

She poked her fingers together with a flustered laugh “romantically? Visits and all?” 

"Gosh. Um… okay, can I be honest, Trucy?" Pearl asked, flushing deeper. She didn't pull away from Trucy at all, so that was a good sign.

Trucy leaned her head against her shoulder with a laugh. “I hope you’d be honest with me too, yeah?” 

"Yeah.. so um," she frowned and bit her lip. "Dating and romance is not really something that gets talked about in Kurain? All I've ever heard about is you know, finding a husband to continue the family line. And usually in the village they do that with a matchmaker. So… being honest, I had no idea if you felt that way about me or not… I don't know how any of that works, especially between girls."

Trucy nodded thoughtfully against her shoulder. 

“Geeze…that makes a lotta sense. Things up there are a little…” Distressingly old fashioned and restrictive, even compared to the US’ cultural baggage of ‘keeping it private’ as her daddy always said about Mr. Edgeworth.

“Different,” she politely finished. “It makes sense you wouldn’t know a whole lot about romance and ah, stuff. I admit, I’m not exactly an expert even if I’ve had a little experience.”

It still took her all the way through the Gramarye-Retinz trial to realize Bonny and Betty had a thing for her….”but it’s like…down to how someone makes you feel, you know?” 

"Yeah? And if you feel it, you just kind of know?" she asked, rubbing her neck nervously.

“I think so, yeah.” Trucy said with a lopsided smile. “Or at the very least have kinda an inkling. At least that’s how it works for me.” 

"And…" Pearl said slowly. "You feel that way about me? Like… not as a funny joke?"

“W-well yeah!” Trucy held her hands up with a flustered smile “it’s not really something I joke about!... well. Much. There was that time I joked about making a good bride for Apollo with his dad, and that time I kept teasing everyone about my panties, but still. Not as a funny joke at all! I really do…it’s the butterfly feeling and everything…and every time we hang out I get really excited. I’ve had a crush on you for like…a long while!” 

"Wow…." Pearl laughed and covered her blushing face. "I wish I'd known sooner, because I've kind of felt that way about you for a while. But, I didn't know what I was supposed to do with that."

Trucy turned pink and bumped her shoulder against her with a laugh, bopping the top of her own head and sticking her tongue out. 

“Geeeze…I guess I spent too long beating around the bush, huh?” She flashed a bright grin at her. “If we both feel the same way, though…maybe we can figure out what to do with it together, huh?” 

"I hope you don't mind me following your lead a bit," Pearl said. "At least for a while. Since all I have to go on is the movies we've watched together. And… I've been told you're not supposed to do everything you see in the movies."

Pearl laughed, but the way she turned pink, Trucy could tell she was really embarrassed about her lack of experience.

Reaching up, Trucy gently rustled Pearl’s hair with a wink 

“True enough, but don’t worry… Magical Girl Trucy’s got this, huh?” she leaned in close with a hum, nuzzling against her shoulder. “You can follow my lead as much as you gotta, that’s absolutely fine!” 

Pearl grinned, and leaned into her in return. "I'm glad! I'm also even more glad I didn't end up doing anything embarrassing today while we were shopping. I wouldn't want to embarrass myself in front of my…. girlfriend?"

She hesitated on the last word, clearly trying it out, and seeing how Trucy would react to it.

Trucy hoped the way her face lit up in a wide grin was what Pearl was hoping for, because she absolutely couldn’t help herself as she looped her arms around her and gave her a squeeze.

“It’d at least have been pretty cute!” Trucy laughed playfully, before she squeezed her again “but you totally didn’t! I’d say my girlfriend did pretty good for her first shopping trip in the city! And came out of it looking real good in that new wardrobe of hers.”

Pearl looked delighted, and put her arms around her in return. "You really think so? I picked the clothes I always liked to see on people and felt, you know, a little jealous about."

Trucy leaned a little closer with a grin

“I do think so, If we’d talked about this a little earlier I probably woulda stolen a kiss in the changing room.” She nodded curiously, though. “that makes sense honestly? That’s how you should clothes shop..look for the things you like and wanna see on yourself instead of other people. It’s how I buy most of the stuff I wear outside my stage outfit, myself. You like kind of a butch style, huh?” 

She chewed on her thumb, thoughtfully. "I guess so? I've always really liked the way like, Mr. Nick, and Mr. Diego and some of the detectives dress, you know? It's really good looking, and everyone takes you seriously and thinks you look handsome and cool."

Pearl's ears blushed hotter as she admitted it, and she grinned awkwardly.

“They do dress really frickin’ great, admittedly,” Trucy nodded with a wide grin “I’ve always loved people in suits.”

She looked Pearl over with a thoughtful “hmmmmmmmm” and a sly grin plastered on her face. “You know…maybe you should try on one of those outfits you bought again, Pearly. Because I’m working off memory here, and I’m pretty sure you looked pretty cool, and real handsome… but I want more evidence for the court record!” 

Pearl laughed, and rubbed her neck. "If you think so, I won't say no! … you really think I look handsome?"

“I mean…” Trucy blew a kiss her way. “if nothing else it gives me another good look. I’m not gonna complain about that….but yeah. I really do…they suit you, Pearly. I was surprised, you know? It wasn’t what I expected your style to be, but it really looks great on you.” 

Pearl gave her another squeeze, and then hopped up off the bed, hurrying over to find one of the bags.

"I'm guessing you can't really picture me out of kimonos, huh?"

Trucy laughed. “admittedly, it’s all I’ve ever seen you in. I got kinda used to it, you know? Kinda like if you never saw me change outta my magician outfit.” 

"Yeah, but your magician's outfit looks good! And at least it stands out, you know? My outfit is the same thing everyone in the village wears." She pulled some of the clothes that she'd bought out of one of the bags, and put them on Trucy's dresser.

She watched curiously, once more looking over the outfit Pearl chose to model as it sat folded on her dresser, and leaned on her hands after rolling to her stomach. “

"I mean, I do love my magician outfit, it’s kind of tailor made to be as cute as possible! But…that makes sense. Daddy said something to that effect a few times. About Miss Maya dressing the same way.” 

"Yeah?" she cocked her head curiously as her hands went to her clothes. She paused. "Oh– should I change somewhere else, or? Um. I don't know the rules now that we're dating…"

Up to now, Pearl had always changed in another room, or with Trucy's back turned. They'd never really discussed it, it was just the habit Pearl at least, was into.

Trucy flushed deeply, and spread her fingers before leaning on her hands again. “I mean…I wouldn’t say no to watching if you weren’t too embarrassed! You don’t need to change in the bathroom or whatever if you don’t wanna.”

Admittedly…she’d had thoughts before and despite the hot flush that burned over her cheeks, or perhaps in concert with it, she was a little curious. 

Pearl bit her lip, and hesitated for a moment. Then she giggled. "Well… if you won't say no– then I'll go ahead and change here. In front of my girlfriend."

Trucy clapped her hands together cheerfully “your girlfriend…is super excited, Pearly~” 

She shrugged out of her robe first, gently placing it on the back of the chair, and then carefully– almost teasingly despite the bright, bright red flush of her face– tugged the ribbon sash free, letting the folds of the kimono fall open.

Trucy got a glimpse of what was underneath, pale golden skin interrupted by her magatama pendant, and a white set of underclothes– including an undershirt– still mostly hidden by the folds of the kimono as it hung open on her.

“Geeze, Pearl…” Trucy whistled softly. “...you’re really attractive, you know that?” She leaned on her hand with a grin. 

Pearl laughed, and covered her face– which ironically gave Trucy another glimpse past the open kimono. "You're nice to say so, Trucy."

Pearl had a flatter chest than Trucy had expected– only a soft rise under her white undershirt, obscured, and perhaps sometimes a little exaggerated by the thick folds of the robes and kimono she usually wore.

Carefully, Pearl started to peel the kimono off of her shoulders, which were left bare except for the narrow strap of her filmy undershirt.

It was a bit of a surprise…Trucy had always expected that the garment and underclothes were intentionally slimming, sort of hiding it–but Pearl really must have been that petit.

She shifted a little against the bed until she was half sit up, crossing her legs under her with an encouraging grin.

Pearl finally fully shrugged out of the kimono fully, and stood barefoot in Trucy's room in only her white undershirt– which stopped just above the rise of her soft belly and bellybutton– and her white panties. She stood embarrassed, with her hands over her face, and wiggled her hips a little bit teasingly.

"Gosh," Pearl chuckled. "I've never been this undressed in front of someone before."

Watching the slightly older girl wiggle her hips in the middle of her room,Trucy felt flushed and a little dizzy as she brushed her hair over her shoulder with a wide grin. 

“I haven’t had someone this undressed in my bedroom either. Changing rooms, sure, but my bedroom…” She winked “You look even better out of the kimono, though. I knew it.” 

"What a thing to say!" Pearl giggled. She turned, and started grabbing the clothes. 

As she did, Trucy got more of a view of Pearl's butt, and her body. Pearl was definitely very cute, and it was nice to see her undressed. But as she looked her over, Trucy couldn't quite help noticing that something seemed just a little… off. 

There was kind of a lot more of a soft bulge in Pearl's white panties than Trucy had expected to see.

Trucy felt her face heat even more, and she let out an involuntary little ‘huh’ despite herself. 

Pearl was in the middle of tugging a pea green silk button down over her arms when she heard Trucy and cocked her head, pausing mid motion.

"Hm?"

Trucy held up her hands with a flustered grin. 

“oh! So-sorry Pearl! I was just uhm, a little surprised? Yeah, just uh…” She shot a fingergun her way with a shaky grin “got a magatama in your panties or are you just happy to see me?”

It wasn’t exactly the smoothest reply she’d ever managed, even taking into account the times she had to roll with improv during a stage show with a particularly rough crowd. 

Pearl's hand went to the magatama around her neck, and she gave Trucy a confused, deer in the headlights look. "Huh?"

Trucy felt like she was putting her foot in her mouth in front of her recently confirmed girlfriend, and felt like her heartrate had spiked worse than it always did when she used her ‘perception’ ability for a little too long.

“Well uh…” she gestured vaguely down between her legs. “y-you know.” 

Pearl, with her shirt half on and hanging open over her undershirt looked down, and blinked.

"Is… there something wrong with my underwear?"

She genuinely sounded like she had no idea what Trucy could be getting at.

Trucy leaned back on her bed with a furrow of her brow as she thought through what she wanted to say.

“No! I mean there’s nothing wrong at all!” She rocked forward again, her hands on her knees with a flustered grin “I just didn’t know you had a… ah…I mean…”

She usually was a little smoother than this. She felt like she might implode at any second. 

Pearl bit her lip and her brow furrowed. She pulled out Trucy's desk chair and sat down for a minute, looking deep in thought.

"Trucy," she said, finally– sounding extremely hesitant. "Um. This… is a weird question."

“Yeah Pearly?” Trucy asked with a flustered murmur, leaning on her hands to prop her chin up. She was sure she looked as red as Apollo’s discarded coat in the office. 

Pearl took a breath. "Is there… something that seems unusual about my body?"

“Not unusual! Just surprising!” Trucy responded quickly. She didn’t want Pearl to think Trucy found anything weird…she didn’t. It just– genuinely was a little surprising. “I just think your uh, bits…are different than mine. Which was a surprise? But not a bad one!” 

"Different than yours," Pearl murmured. She tugged at the buttons on her open shirt. "And that's not something you expected?"

“Not exactly?” Trucy shifted shyly, before she hopped up and put her hands on Pearl’s shoulders with a small grin. “but that’s okay!” 

Pearl leaned into her hands and smiled up at her, nervously. "Um, I'm glad it's okay. That's really genuinely fantastic to hear. I'm kind of trying to figure something out though. You wouldn't expect me to have different stuff in my underwear than you, because…?"

Trucy wasn’t a stranger to the things society didn’t exactly talk about– she’d heard a lot of things, going to school and hanging around the Wunder Bar in LA.. She knew of her father’s relationship with Miles, after all, and also of her father’s relationships with others around her. She knew of Clay and Apollo– she knew fellow performers whose bodies they were born in didn’t match how they felt inside.

She was utterly at a loss for where to start with the Pearl, the sheltered medium from the village that intentionally isolated itself from the world.

“well…I mean…It was just an assumption.” Trucy mused quietly before she stammered out “most girls I know don’t have dicks, so I just hadn’t thought of it. But it’s not what’s in your pants that makes you, you, you know? No matter what anyone says!” 

Pearl blushed even deeper and slapped the desk. "Damn it, mom!! I knew it! I knew there was something up!"

“What.” Trucy said in a quiet squeak of a voice. 

Pearl turned and grabbed Trucy by the shoulders– not roughly, but firmly. "Okay, Trucy. Walk through this with me. You know in Kurain only girls can be spirit channelers, yes? And how men are basically seen as useless?"

“U-uh huh.” Trucy nodded slowly. “Which, just as an aside, is completely fucked up…” 

"Okay, but follow me here," Pearl said with a quiet desperation in her voice. "Let's pretend we're not being nice to people, we're just following the rules, okay? Are you with me, Trucy?"

“I’m with you.” Trucy gave her a firm smile as she snapped herself back to the moment. “I’m with you. Yeah?” 

"Okay. Good. Then, Trucy, please tell me the truth. If we're following the rules– do girls not have… what I've got? Is a person who has that not a girl? Did my mom lie to make me a girl?"

There was a quiet desperation rising in Pearl's voice, a rawness at the base of it, and her eyes had gotten pinpricked.

Trucy’s smile had gone a little rigid as the situation once more evolved in her mind.

 “Justitia’s tits…” she swallowed thickly. “Tyyypically, if we’re following society’s rules. Girls…don’t…tend to have…what you’ve got. I don’t, that’s for sure. I can show you if you want.”

She laughed nervously. She’d heard a thing or two about Pearl’s mother…mostly only her daddy’s furious disdain for the ambitious and cruel woman and what he’d done to Miss Maya and, if she picked up the subtext there, and now here, Pearl. “I uhm…I think she might have. I’m so-sorry.” 

Pearl sagged against Trucy, and leaned her head on her shoulder suddenly. "I knew it. I… of course she lied. Why wouldn't she? All she ever wanted was for me to become the Kurain channeling master. No wonder…."

Trucy’s heart thumped loud in her chest as she moved on impulse to hug Pearl tight, holding her as she sagged.

“I’m sorry, Pearl,” she murmured, as she reached up to brush her hair. 

“I’m really, really sorry. She wanted you to become the master so she lied to …to make you conform to the expectation, ye-yeah? ‘Because only girls are spirit channelers’ and thus can be the masters?” She took a deep breath “cruel…that’s, pardon my language Pearl, completely fucked up.” 

Pearl took a deep breath too, and made a small keening noise as Trucy held her. "Yeah… only girls are spirit channelers. And it sounds like normally, I wouldn't be considered a girl? If my mom wasn't trying to do that?"

Trucy leaned into her, rubbing her back gently as she breathed in and out, maybe to try and guide Pearl into doing the same. 

She wanted to comfort her– badly. She hadn’t expected to stumble into a big revelation, or something that so obviously hurt Pearl while flirting with her, but she wanted to be there. She wanted to help her feel …if not better, than like she could address all this with help.

“That’s what I’d imagine, Pearl..” Trucy nodded slowly. “normally, if your mom didn’t try to, ah, skew the impression of you, you’d probably have been seen as a boy…” 

"So… I have a body that boys normally have," she said, leaning against her. She followed Trucy's breathing, in, and out. "This definitely explains why my mom told me to never, ever change or be naked in front of someone unless I trusted them with my life."

Trucy’s voice shuddered in a desperate half laugh, and her arms pulled Pearl closer as she rested her chin atop Pearl’s head. 

“I’m glad you trust me with your life, Pearl…but still…geeze. How…how does it make you feel? K-knowing that. Not like, what your mother did. I mean…the other part.” 

"Well I'm mad at my mom!" Pearl huffed. "I don't know… I feel pretty confused, Trucy… sorry I spoiled our fun sleepover…"

“You should be! Pearl…lying to you like that? T-trying to use you like that? It’s fucked up!” Trucy puffed her cheeks out in quiet fury, seething at the very thought of a mother lying to her child like that.

“Be mad! And…and” She squeezed Pearl tight. “no matter what I’ve got your back, okay? I’ll do all I can to help you sort it out! It..it’s not like the sleepover’s ruined, either! I still wanna see you in your new clothes!” 

"You do?" Pearl perked up a little against her, and looked up at her with big, dark eyes.

Trucy nodded with a grin, and reached up to brush Pearl’s cheek with her thumb. 

“Yeah. I bet you’ll look real cool and handsome in ‘em. Maybe even more than at the mall!” 

Pearl smiled, and poked her fingers together as she leaned into Trucy's touch. "Hey um, I have a dumb question."

Trucy’s thumb brushed against her cheek again as she flushed with a smile. “Yeah Pearl?” 

"Um, so I know you said my body doesn't bother you, even if you weren't expecting it, and I know you think it's okay if I'm a girl, right?" she murmured. "But… would it be okay if I um… if I actually said I might want to be a boy?"

“Gosh, Pearl…” Trucy looked into her eyes with a shy smile. “of course it would be. I mean…if you wanna be a boy, then that’s what you are in my book! If that’s who you are, and how you feel you should be, then that’s what you are!”

She leaned down and kissed the top of Pearl’s head with a flush. “And anyway…I’m bisexual~” she cooed against the top of her head. She’d picked up the term from a friend at the Wunder Bar a few years ago, and had been deeply relieved  to hear it wasn’t just her “That’s what it is when you like both boys AND girls. A lot. So it sure doesn’t bother me, Mr. Detective-in-training Pearl.” 

"Gosh!" Pearl giggled and swooned against her. "Well, I don't know for sure yet, exactly. But… I kind of want to try it out at least, even if it's just with you. I've never gotten a chance to be a boy before..."

Trucy laughed with her, brushing Pearl’s hair with her fingers. 

“Even if it’s just with me, I’m happy to help you try it out, Pearl! And if it’s whatcha want…I’ll make sure nobody gives you crap for it! I’ll make them vanish with my magic act if I gotta…” She gave Pearl another squeeze. “We can have lots of fun with it, giving you the chance and choice your mom didn’t give you. Okay?”

Pearl rubbed her flushed face, and took a deep breath. "Have I ever told you you're the best, Trucy?"

Trucy put her finger on her chin with a grin.

“You have…but I do love hearing it.” She winked playfully down at Pearl. "...but thanks. You’re really great too, you know? You’ve helped me through a bunch too.” 

"And I always will! Promise." With one more deep breath, Pearl stepped backward, and started buttoning up the buttons of the silk shirt.

Trucy leaned against the post of her bed to watch, rubbing her hand against her face to still the blush that still lingered. 

“I believe you, Pearl…but for now…you’re gonna model the hell outta those clothes for me, Detective. And I’m gonna enjoy the hell out of the show.”

[a-queer-crip-writes]

Mother sits with me in the waiting area. Most of the other children are alone, clutching suitcases and toys. Many of them, even the big boys in full tunics and the big girls in long skirts, are crying. Mother does not look at me, but she clutches me tight, her fingers digging into my upper arms.

“Mommy, you’re hurting me,” I venture in a small voice, but she completely ignores me, staring ahead of her as though into a far distance.

I think about saying it the other way, the inside-way. It may make her scream and slap me away, but her fingers feel as though they are leaving a bruise. I look up at her and think about it – just think about it...

...”Tainted! A tainted child! What twisted blood have you brought into my family, woman? We have been pure for a thousand years!”

My Father’s face – massive, twisted in rage, his black beard bristling in anger - is right in mine. My big, kind Father, never known to raise his voice even to my brothers’ worst pranks, screaming like a madman.

A stinging pain across my nose and cheek and my Father’s face falls away, becoming far overhead as it usually is.

“Lucky for you it was a daughter. If you had given me a tainted son, you would have been back at your father’s door on the morrow, fifteen years of marriage or no!”

And I am standing back in the waiting area, a tear falling onto my upturned face. And instead of trying to pull away, I bury my face in the soft dark stuff of her skirt and let her hug me so close it nearly squeezes the breath from me. Her touch shows me a terrible black mouth hanging over us, waiting, like the U’Yo’nan from Grandmother’s stories, to eat me and extinguish everything I have ever been. And she knows that she can’t save me from it.

In the end, they need to rip me from her arms. First, the hooded woman with no eyes – the one who came to the house last night and changed everything – comes. She tries to reason with Mother, then tries to pull me away, but Mother only weeps and will not let go of me, and the woman’s arms are weak and wasted. The woman goes away, twittering like a bird, to shepherd the other children into trudging, weeping lines that go through the doors one by one.

But then the man comes. He is very tall, taller than my father, with hair greying back from his temples, and he is so strong the world seems almost to shift at his passing. There is a skull over a great red letter I on a rosette on his long black coat, and as soon as he comes near all the strength goes out of Mother, washed away as though by a great current. She staggers with me in her arms, and he leans forward and takes me from her.

“I know you are afraid for her, but you should not be. This will be the saving of her. The God-Emperor will take her in his arms.”

And all I feel from him is a great warmth, like being enveloped in a great shield. She nods, weakly, her knees buckling, as she relinquishes me to him.

“Goodbye, my daughter. Goodbye.”

And she falls to her knees as the man walks off, bearing me away towards the ship.

He sets me down at the end of one of the lines just as the other children in front of me begin to walk into the ship. “You are under His Eye now, child.” He stands and walks away at great speed.

Within the shield of his presence, I feel nothing. As soon as he leaves... the terror of everyone around me, the thousands of children and adolescents, swoops on me like a great dark bird. The eyeless woman pushes me gently and I stumble up the walkway, towards the doorway opening like a great black mouth.

The door shuts behind me. I am in a great room full of children. The walls and floor are cushioned and soft, like the couch in my playroom at home...

..but the playroom and my dolls and the sunlight that falls across the couch, the smell of cooking and the flowers outside the window, my books with the bright pictures of animals and my brothers’ schoolbooks with the dark leather bindings and the desk covered with generations of my family’s children’s writings carved and inked into the wood... all of these things are going away, disappearing into the tide of darkness and terror that surrounds me as the few adults direct us to sit down against the padded walls. I am drowning in it, losing everything, and it is eating me, everything I am. And the lights dim and go out, and I am all alone in the darkness...

...and someone else’s shoulder bumps against mine, and without thinking I reach down the arm and clutch a hand in mine. And, just as suddenly, on the other side, another hand does the same thing to mine. I clutch the hands, both of them, very hard in mine.

And a welter of pictures comes into my mind, dogs and birds and older sisters, a father with no beard, a yellow-haired doll called Conchita, a bedroom ceiling with blue-painted beams, a song about a branch that grows on a tree...

...but sunlight. Most of all sunlight. And I find my own sunlight is there too. The sunlight that fell across my coverlet on bright mornings, the sun that glinted off through the windows in the shrine to the God-Emperor. The sun that shone on the world we are already leaving, and will never see again.

We sit there in the long darkness as the ship reaches orbit, clutching each others’ hands tight. And, in our minds, we have sunlight. And we are no longer alone.

[ghcstcd]

Bruh ... every day I'm reminded of my trauma

[tigerop]

actually one last hot take im sorry feel free to ignore kjbggdg

the whole abusive!ghost shit is crazy to me because 99% of the time they force soap into this QnQ wittle weak man bby damsel in distress sort of role (because heaven forbid we not do weird fucking problematic hetero relationship roles in a mlm ship) and like the hilarious thing about that is soap would rock his fucking shit. never mind the ic / ooc talk about ghost in this situation, what fucking soap are y'all seeing that would tolerate that sort of behavior towards him? he's a whole ass grown 30+ yr old seasoned military vet who would put ghost on his ass if he raised a hand to him. be for real!!!

[oneangstymotherfucker]

Heavy TW for csa mention

Bit drunk rn but whomsoever needs to hear it:

Horny fantasies are normal. Most people think about "cnc", its one of te most common fa tasies. I've talked to MULTIPLE therapists about everything. if you read my porn on ao3 u know. But its "bad"- everything from.minors to violence to death. And every one of my therapists- before rhey even knew about my fucki g trauma- said that it was normal. That being into whack shit like incest, being a "kid" when it happens, lolis, shotas, abuse, nc,- all of it - didn't really matter. What matters is what you do irl, full stop.

Because the thing is I studied psychology. I went to college for it And because of my ocd and fhe fucked up shit my daddy did to me i had to fucking know why he did it and to know FOR SURE that i wouldnt do it so i sudied and i did literal years of research, not just reading actual psychological studies but also talking to people. I sought out the people you antis think are too gross and too bad to be alive and i talked to them and i learned. I read stidies and.i learned.

Some people are attracted to kids. That's part of the venn diagram of "who hurts kids" but its not the whole fucking thing. And even if you think they all deserve to die or whatever, theres still the matter of stopping the hurt, right? If that's actually what you care about amd not just some ego-stroking witch hunt. If you actually care then you HAVE to face the whole fucking venn diagram. because im sick to DEATH of people who never been hurt say its all one "kind of people" like a fucking nz and then act fucking flabbergasted when its someones good christian fucking dad who never looked twice at a kid amd theyre like "we wish we would have.known" well yeah fuckers you would have known if you actually listened and cared about the situation and not just about looking holy.

(AS A VICTIM I KNOW WHEN YOU ARE BEING FAKE WHEN YOU ARE DOING IT JUST FOR YOUR OWN SAKE I KNOW WHEN YOU REALLY CARE AJD WHEN YOU WOULD LEAVE KIDS LIKE I WAS IN THE DUST BECAUSE YOU HATE ANYONE ASSOCIATED WITH THE PAIN YOU THINK ITS A PLAGUE THAT SPREADS AND THAT ANYONE WHO TOUCHED IT IS DIRTYY YOU THINK IF YOU RUN FAST ENOUGH AND.HATE HARD ENOUG IT WON'T AFFECT YOU ABD YOU WILL GET INTO SOME FAKE HEAVEN THATS EVEN BEYTER THAN THE KIDHOOD I WAS ROBBED OF WHEN MY DAD DECIDED TO RAPE ME).

So if you really care AT LEAST know this.

It is a venn diagram.

Just like adult assault, right?

Some of it is 'passion driven' or whatever the fuck you want to call it. But MOST assault isnt about attraction.

Most people dont want to tryly hurt what they love. Im sorry if you think otherwise.

People who hurt others (regardless of age) usually aren't hurting them becasue they "love them so much". Trust me i spent years wishing that it was just because my dad loved me a little too much in the wrong way.

But it wasn't.

He hurt me because he was insecure, impatient. Because i was a vulnerable and weak six year old with no one else to trust and no where else to go. He wasn't a pedophile. He was just a guy who had a real hard time seeing others as humans. Maybe because of Pearl Harbor. Maybe because he was a ginger scorpio idfc. He felt fucked and so he decided to.take it out on tbe weakest person he could. HE MADE THE ACTIVE DECISION. Because he is a shit person. And thats the thing yall dont act like its a decision. (You are thr ones romanticizing it, as if i seduced him or he gradually decided he "needed to have me"-no. He woke up one day and DECIDED AS AN ADULT TO HURT HIS SIX YESR OLD KID.)

If you're so scared people are just avoiding fucking up kids by not thinkinv about it too much i have QUESTIONS FOR YOU actually. To hurt someone isnt.tje default, no matter what you feel about somone

You have to actively decide to hurt someone and go through with it. Dont listen to your ocd.

Funny enough thats where your eroticization argument comes from. A non-map person decided to fuck a kid, so they gotta get it up enough, so they think about that that kid in particular over and over so they can stomach it. Because they couldn't otherwise.

If you read any psych essays about sex you would know that.

So he did that i guess. How do i guess? How do i guess he wasn't a pedo?

Because he hated me. Because he barely ever paid me any mind. Because i wished he would just look at me, see me as a person, for years. Because kids stjll need thejr dads.

He once said he was amazed how me and.all my five other siblings had different personalities.

Because he put a fucking sheet over my head while he did it over and over so.he.wouldnt have to look at me.

I was just a weak.easy target to him. Nothing more at all. He never loved me, never even cared about me as a person.

So anyway ebough about that shit.

I was introduced to sex at six years old. It was scary and hurt and kind of felt good, something you do with family.

And thats still the biggest impression sex has on my mind.

I dont want it like that irl because ive had it irl and it fucekd me up beyond comprehension. And i dont want to get hurt a d i dont want anyone fucking esle to get hurt like.that ever.

But it is to this day one of the only things i can "enjoy." Becaus eas long as im the victim im not hurting anyone right? It is safe and it is.good and it is wajt ive always known!!!! It is the only thing that feels safe, imagining it like that. If somoene actually did love me then.

Amd every fucking one of mytherapists has blinked at me and said, "this is a fantasy you're talking about, right?"

And i, scared for my life and believing i should kms, say, "yes,"

And they've each said "so why are you so upset? It's just a fantasy. Most people have tabboo fantasies, and this one even makes sense for you."

We know what's healthy because its whatever djdnt hurt us. So maybe just step off and worry about yourselves. We aren't "normalizing" anything. "Slippery slope" is a thinking fallacy (hum comm 101) and fantasies have been fucking normal since day one (hum psy 101), and the people reading fucjing anime fics aren't the ones hurting kids (ethics 101, hum psy 101).

You can be a little uncomfortable. Being squicked wont kill you. Just block and move the fuck along.

It's not for you. Move along. And stop fucking coming.at the people you say you want to protect. It looks fucking cheap.

Also also also people dont owe you an explanation of their trauma or to have had/remember/feel definded by it. people can be into anything amd gues what, jts none of your buisness. Why are antis such pervs? jesus fuckinv christ.

[colombinna]

A character can do just about anything in media, there are only three things that'll make me hate them beyond redemption:

1- Be a bigot

2- Abuse like SA and grooming

3- Be a piece of shit towards my favorite characters

And it's done. I've closed the topic in two female characters I could've liked already because they've broken at least one of these norms. There's no going back and when I'm a hater I'm a HATER I am obsessed by nature I will want to see them dead and gone in the worst ways possible