#a thought i had about history class
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theres no such thing as the "good old days" but if we really put in the effort we might be able to make some good future days
#a thought i had about history class#it seemed like every lesson was like “yes it benefitted this group of people but everyone else was effectively fucked”#so yeah basically all of history had slavery and unfair class divisions and poverty and death and disease and sorrow and pain#maybe in different forms or for different reasons or affecting different people#but it was all bad in some way#when you talk about the “good old days” youre usually referring to an idealized version of the past specifically where youre privileged#most people back in the day died before they reached the age of 21#as you can clearly see weve fixed a lot of things but there are still a lot of issues#we can fix these issues to!#no revolutionary or activist ever got themselves anywhere with a doomerist mentality#worst case scenario you try really hard to make the world perfect and you fail and only make it slightly better#atleast now its slightly better!#three pigeons in a trench coat
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considering the historical influences in the fashion of Dishonored (and the extent of nsfw fanfiction this fandom has) I’ve been thinking about the layers that would be, realistically, part of the daily dress
which means: dishonored seems to honour the importance of a vest in a properly dressed gentleman’s or lady’s wardrobe
vests were, and I cannot stress this enough, a mandatory part of an outfit, to the point of men wearing only vests if they could not afford a fully tailored suit (trousers + vest + jacket) and a new shirt and opting to only wear a fake collar under the vest for the illusion of a full outfit
shirts were underwear, so to speak. there were no occasions in ‘polite society‘ where one could only wear a shirt without a vest on top.
this is something we see mirrored in both dishonored games, though the style of the vests and clothing have somewhat changed, they still follow the same rules of vests worn with every outfit, as far as we can tell. (we could argue that Jessamine is not wearing one, or that some higher class women aren’t wearing vests under their buttoned up jackets, but since we don’t really see underneath we can’t judge.)
we see the vests be worn even by the Whalers in the first game (which in itself brings up many questions. are whalers, the actual whalers that capture and kill whales, held in high enough regard by the society that they made a vest part of their uniform? or is it merely something that is worn by all? something that every citizen of sound mind would don, were they to leave their house?)
there are a few exceptions to this, of course, but this whole thing came to be by asking a simple question
does the Outsider wear a vest under his leather jacket?
now, in the first game, his jacket is unbuttoned just enough for us to get a good enough peek at what lies beneath. which is to say: there is no hint of a vest underneath. judging by the vests in the first game, the fashion was that the vest would go up high, often covering collarbones or even having a standing collar. what we see on the Outsider is just... an unbuttoned shirt
it’s much the same in the second game, even if we examine his final concept art, his outfit consists of a shirt (more or less underwear) with most of the top buttons unbuttoned, and a jacket on top. no hint of a vest underneath
what I’m trying to say is that the Outsider is a slut
#dh#dishonored#the outsider#I got hyperfixated on fashion of the belle epoque (the inspiration for dh fashion) so most of this information in regards to history#should be accurate#mind you the books I read had a heavy focus on habsburg monarchy fashion so it might be slightly different to say the US or france etc etc#but that should be right#if anyone has stuff from the games to disprove the vest in higher classes statement bring it on#I doubt the artists would do such a great transgression against polite manners though /j#but yeah tl;dr the outsider wears the equivalent of a blazer on top of a bra#I have so many thoughts and feelings about the fashion in these games I could go on for Ages#this all started when I was thinking about human outsider being taken in by corvo and emily and as he takes his clothes off for a bath#a maid is absolutely scandalized by his lack of a vest underneath#I do want to acknowledge that there is concept art of outsider in dh2 that DOES have a vest under the jacket but that one went unused#the pattern on it kinda reminds me of the pattern on corvo's and emily's clothing tho that might be a reach. or just a pattern thats popular#i firmly stand by my headcanon that the outsider tries to imitate the fashion of the real world in the void with a bit of his own Void spin
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Tbh the whole 'bloodclan bans families and hates Cat God' thing really reminds me of the anti communist bullshit I was fed in highschool history class.
Every day I count my lucky stars that I got educated in a well-funded school in a blue state. My teachers were shockingly good in hindsight, I didn't get half of the same propaganda some of my friends in other states got.
#One of the coolest things that we did in my high school history class was#My teacher actually taught us the dawn of the soviet union and the rise of stalinism#AND THEN pulled out a book they had to read in their college course!#Which taught the SAME story from the other side. Exactly as a teenager in the soviet union would learn the story#It blew my third eye RIGHT open#And I think it became downright formative because I've never been able to look at the concept of history lessons the same way#Both the American story and the Soviet story framed their home nations as the righteous entity#And I guess the narrative concept of 'framing' had never felt SO REAL before#Same events just described differently... how much can change from wording#And later that year when I learned about the american whiskey rebellion I thought of a farmer uprising in the soviet union#Yknow. Thinking about it. I wonder if this at all contributed to why I made the Educator role...#Tomorrow's history is today's politics lads. Don't forget that.#And they will laminate the shit and the mud along with the truth.#Bone babble
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i am actually so tired of the way westerners treat eastern europeans
#fair warning for. a very very long ramble and rant in the tags. apologies#westerner or russian. no other option#westerner because the only thought they ever have is 'but they had universal housing so if you oppose ussr you oppose that'#(which is stupid becuse you can believe in that WITHOUT WANTING LIKE 6 COUNTRIES TO BE FORCED TO BE RULED OVER BY RUSSIA)#(SORRY FOR WANTING TO LIVE IN MY COUNTRY WITH MY HISTORY AND MY CULTURE AND NOT RUSSIA!!) (poland was a sattelite state but GOD)#or russian because they have a victim complex and are convinced that they deserve to rule over the entire damn world#'well you had universal housing so you had it easy' right yeah. okay. forget about like. everything else that happened#to eastern europeans during that time#forget about the things that are STILL issues all these years later not only in poland but like the more eastern countries too#its not about. the fact that the houses 'didnt have 3 bedrooms and a jacuzzi' in them. you DUMB SACK OF SHIT#god sorry. sorry. i also know so very little but like god damn i fucking live here. i didnt sit thru all that modern history#for some dumbfuck to say that 'ohhh only rich and american middle class people are happy the ussr was dissolved'#'oooh the dissolving of the ussr was illegal and the countries within it actually liked being there'#im just so fucking tired man i need to. i need to start killing people#and this is all not to mention that theyll say this stupid shit and then deny eastern europeans the things they actually did that were good#FUCK french people for trying to claim maria skłodowska. fuck americans for trying to claim the witcher as their own fantasy world#fuck the way the west is allowed to claim and destroy eastern european culture without any consequence because we dont matter enough#vaguely related but ill throw this in here since anyone finding it is unlikely and im scared of having this opinion#i think one underappreciated aspect of DE (which might be underappreciated because its not actually there and im stupid)#is that its pro-communist while still also giving some criticism to how it was handled and acknowledging that its still not perfect#which makes the writers much better communists than any self-proclaimed one ive ever met in my life who just worships the idea#perhaps its because the writers of the game were not white upper middle-class americans living in the suburbs. among other things#idk de is a game for people far smarter than me and i only played it once and im sure anyone who played it well can clock me as a bad perso#horrible horrible person even which is why im scared of mentioning it. but its an interesting thing. to me#the main thing is that im just not. im not far left enough i suppose. i agree communism in theory is a great idea. as far as i know it#(which isnt very far)#but chances of implementing it correctly in a way that doesnt take away from peoples happiness in other areas is. low. very low#i wrote a short essay about how utopias are inherently contradictory ideas once it wasnt very deep or good but like#you cant have universal happiness without restricting certain freedoms. and when those freedoms are resticted not everyone#will be happy. and then theyre unhappy they will have to be somehow removed or ignored
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community college is so funny because half of the teachers are like "For this class you need to use lockdown browser for all quizzes and tests. You need to buy this 70 dollar textbook, and all papers turned in must be in APA format with a title page even if they're only 500 words long. I will not accept late assignments. Also you have a minimum of 4 assignments a week." and the other half are like "you don't need proctoring for the final exam I trust you. here's a download link to a pirated copy of the textbook. as long as your writing is coherent and demonstrates an understanding of the material I literally could not care less what format you use. I can't figure out how canvas works so I'm not giving you due dates, just make sure it's turned in before the grading period ends. your only weekly assignment is a forum post with a minimum of 100 words."
#my favorite teacher so far is still the film history professor I had in my first semester.#he was very old and didn't understand how canvas worked at all and sometimes had trouble opening a video file#but simultaneously he was tech literate enough to recommend we use firefox with an ad blocker#because whenever someone missed class and was like 'where do i go to find the movie' he'd be like 'use an ad blocker and google it'#he said the school made him stop emailing links to free movie sites because people would open them on chrome with no ad block#and there'd be borderline malware on them. like this guy gave me the impression he was like. a veteran movie pirate lol.#that class had barely any assignments. like there wasn't a final exam or anything.#he just wanted us to write a paragraph or so answering a few questions about the movies we watched. it was chill.#and i also learned a lot actually. like i didn't know what a nickelodeon was before then. or the Hays Code.#the movies were genuinely good. i never thought Id be that into old black and white movies or westerns for example but they actually slapped#some of them had really mature themes and i definitely started to understand the people on this website who are like#'if the only media you consume is children's media you should maybe branch out instead of calling steven universe problematic'#because a lot of the movies we watched depicted very 'problematic' things and were able to directly address them because they are for adults#(to clarify I didn't just like kids media before then. i just mean that it introduced me to some older stuff i didn't think I'd like)#(but i ended up liking a lot. it also made me realize that movies made today are kind of shit. which i also already knew)#(but it put it more into perspective because I have more to compare it to)#im rambling now. community college is pretty swag i enjoy it. and i do get along with the teachers who have crazy requirements too lol.
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#genuinely genuinely so dystopian#i cant even comprehend how this isn’t what people are talking about 24/7#the way people can go about their lives as normal#i feel like im going insane#not to mention people literally CHOOSING to be silent and not reshare stuff and just turn away from this#or worse say they’re uneducated and they don’t want to pick a side#like oh im sorry#get educated then?#also i didn’t know you had to have a pHD to know that a genocide is horrific and should never happen.#i thought we learned that in history class?#shame on all of you who aren’t using their platform right now#fuck you actually#wonder how you’ll tell people in the future that you were complicit in genocide and stood by#watching while it happened#free palestine 🇵🇸
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Shadows of Fear: Did You Lock Up? (1.1, Thames, 1970)
"And they didn't make much mess?"
"No, not really. They forced that door. Smashed the cabinet, slashed a sofa. And kicked a hole in the bedroom door."
"Ah. Big mistake."
"What is?"
"Never lock inside doors. Anything you can to keep them out - but when they're in, let 'em get on with it."
"I'll remember."
#shadows of fear#single play#roger marshall#1970#classic tv#thames#kim mills#michael craig#gwen watford#ray smith#mark mcmanus#malcolm kaye#charles leno#having come to something of a premature pause in my New Scotland Yard watch (the first ep of series 3 isn't on the YT playlist I've been#using and is proving quite tricky to get ahold of) i thought I'd revisit this brief lived anthology series for the creepy season. i first#watched this about 10 years ago and my memories of it are scant to say the least‚ so it seemed like good viewing for the season#the production history of SoF is lost in the mists of time (unless someone out there wishes to enlighten me?); this first episode was shown#in June of 1970‚ but the rest didn't follow until January of the following year; probably this acted as a sort of pilot to gauge viewer#reactions to another vaguely horrorish anthology series (the previous decade had been ripe with them‚ tho we rarely see their like today)#and then there's the odd case of the final ep‚ shown almost 2 years after the series ended and running to half the length (and generally#feeling like an entirely different format) but I'll come to that when (and if) i get to the episode itself. this debut ep is... well it's#fine. i was excited to see Marshall's name in the opening credits‚ one of the most dependable of old tv writers and I'd quite forgotten he#contributed to this show. but the issue here is simply one of length. the plot is solid‚ a suitably grotty little tale of a family man's#mounting obsession with the burglars who broke into his home. it would make a good ep of Tales of Unease (shortly to begin on Thames'#sister broadcaster LWT) or a few years later as an episode of Tales of the Unexpected; both being 25 minute shows. but this clocks in at#close to 50 mins and there isn't really enough to it to sustain that longer running time‚ leaving it feeling a little stretched thin and#flimsy. a shame‚ because Craig and Watford are putting in excellent performances as the middle class couple whose reactions to the burglary#slowly shift as time passes (he goes from prosaic acceptance to fixated malice‚ she from shocked indignation to making peace with it all)#no big surprises in where the play is headed or how it plays out‚ but that's often the case with these things; it's often just as much#about the horrible foreknowledge of what must come than some shocking twist‚ and this plays it about right. it's just too long is all.
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What do you think Mine’s reaction to Masato / Aoki be like?
tbh they'd probably be. amicable. at the very least.
#snap chats#like they have similar values its just that mine's more openly depressed about his belief system and doesn't take pride in it like aoki#i talked about this before omg thats so funny... but yeah no aoki's more proud of 'how the world is'. prob cause he's 'on top' of it#mine begrudges the fact he needs material goods to be useful to people#meanwhile aoki's happy to exploit others if it means he advances. for the most part anyway#he only really starts to show some regret when confronted by ichi. and get the shit kicked out of him for twenty minutes#wait i was rewatching the cutscene and started to throw up cause i got reminded of me in high school again aoki you're 42 stop this#Back On Track Though. mine and aoki had similar pursuits: attain power to be loved thats the core of it in simple terms#they went about it differently ofc: for mine money was power and for aoki popularity was power. Both Very True TBH but anyway#mine realized that even with money his person wasnt valued#and aoki realized that even with recognition people didn't value his character. sins the arakawas. fcukin dummy#i mean aokis a jackass so no wonder but thats not the point of this. fuckfest of tags#they wouldnt be friends. aoki's incapable of friendship and mine would probably quickly recognize aoki as being power hungry#i think mine's been in enough business meetings And Knows Enough About Politics to recognize Professional Fakerism when he sees it#actually do you think mine'd be swindled by any 'kindness' aoki expressed like when kanda left him and he thought he just went to get help.#that shit was wack LMAO BUT REGARDLESS idk i have to go to class soon so im not gonna spend too much time thinking of this#if they needed to they'd just use each other for whatever purpose they needed the other for. idk why mine would need aoki tho#TLDR mine probably wouldnt think too differently of aoki compared to any other power-hungry freak#we can revisit this topic when. im not learning about JP history vjERJALKJ
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not to be like “i miss college” even though i do but mostly i think i miss being smart. before depression and life events had chewed up and partially swallowed my brain. just getting to problem solve and think, being Very Into something as the norm. i know being an english major is basically the easiest thing you can be at the undergrad level but i do feel like that was the one and only time in my life where my natural state was actually a pro instead of a con. i graduated with the highest honors and absolutely no one cared but i cared
#aster chat#family life exploding exactly one (1) month from graduation is still just. it. god. it was almost seven years ago and it still hurts#SO much. i had worked so hard to graduate with the honors i did#i took a 400 level history class in my 2nd semester with one of the hardest humanities profs and i got a B#i basically lived in a break room for a whole semester because my misophonia was so bad with my roommate at night#i stashed pillows and blankets behind a couch and slept there to stay sane enough to write my papers#i got so close to Ending Things three times and DIDN'T#my professors LOVED ME#and then graduation came and it was just. over.#went right back home to sit between my parents as much as i could and get yelled at and watch everything go down the drain#like as soon as i walked out of college i stopped existing except as something for my parents and my job to use up#like. i know it's cringy to still be thinking about college but that was the last time i mattered as myself. you know#people liked me because of my brain! my thoughts! not for what i could do for them or for a paycheck#me qua me#okay lmao Antidepressant Time bye#no offense but my english classes wouldn't have made me feel weird about saying 'boon' instead of 'pro' up there#i changed it to not sound like an assclown but my profs would have thought it was funny.
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this isnt even affecting me directly but i am. beyond worried. about the consequences this will have here. the conservative party was already in the lead in voting intention polls i dont want to think about how emboldened they will feel now.
#i remember waking up on november 6th 2016 and the news making my heart sink into the ground#our history teacher; who had the habit of talking about world news at the start of each class; entered the classroom that morning#and it was like someone died#us friends im so distraught and scared on your behalf. ive thought about you all night. please stay strong i beg of you#tbp speaks#current events
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The new channel 4 documentary on the miners strike is fantastic. It covers different points of view, from the striking miners, to working miners, to the women in striking communities, to the police. It also shows how the Battle of Orgreave on 18th June 1984 was planned and initiated by the police, and how the media (BBC and ITV) covered this up and showed only the police's side, while positioning them as being the victims of miners' violence (which was very minimal to non existent in reality), who simply retaliated because the "restrained...traditional British policing way" (I have to laugh) didn't work.
I also didn't know until watching this that Gareth Peirce, who represented the Guildford Four and the Birmingham Six, also defended mineworkers who were victims of police brutality at Orgreave. What a woman!
#british history#working class history#miners strike#acab#im so interested in this period of history + chose this topic specifically as part of a british history module last year#so im really glad that this docuseries was made for the 40th anniversary and i hope it is never forgotten#and i often think about how miscarriages of justice against working class british people are exactly the same as#british miscarriages of justice against irish people. i was thinking this when watching#at one point an interviewee even says something like 'obviously i'd seen this happen in northern ireland but i never expected it to#happen in england!' and the way the police acted obviously made me think of what they did in the north of ireland#and the gareth peirce connection just confirmed it. but how many people saw those connections?#how many of the miners who were beaten by police saw the same things happen to irish people but didnt care? or thought they deserved it?#this isnt to blame them..they were fed lies that the irish were terrorists...but it suggests to me that this oppression is connected#also similar is how RE the post office scandal a lot of people were shocked that british justice had failed#a man in the drama even said that it was britain and he was british and that british justice wouldnt let them down#and you just think like...do you not know what british 'justice' did to innocent irish people? do you think they deserved it?#did you think you were immune because you were british? in ireland we know there is no such thing as british justice.#but british people never seem to learn this history lesson#what a better world it would be if working class british (and irish) people could recognise our similarities and joint sufferings as a#result of the british state. its quite frustrating to watch british people constantly put faith in their gov/justice system#learn from your own history!! they dont care about you!!
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i havent even read enough gl to justify the feelings and emotions i have about kyle i just have the lovers heart and also something wrong with me. and my projection. in my mind he's just like me. and he would have loved college vending machine frozen cheeseburger and heating it up in the microwave at 1 in the morning because he was bored and didn't want to work on a drawing assignment on 20" x 30" paper that was due tomorrow in his freshman year. he would have loved going to the club to push off finals work that's creating the worst stress known to man in his brain. and he would love to annoy the fuck out of his roommate when high and avoiding homework on a saturday.
#IN MY MIND HE'S JUST LIKE ME and i understand why he dropped out of art school also.#i need to get back to my readings but im too into thinking about the couple dozen issues i have read#and then going i wonder what he was like in college. and the answer is definitely fucking annoying.#if i knew him i know we would be not arguing in art history class. i would be saying his takes are stupid outside of class during break.#and he would go i dont know how somoene can defend british utilitarian furniture so vehemently and try to liken it to bauhaus design#our arguments would also stem from having very different art history and therefore philosophy education. his background would be from a pro#who would focus on european canon as per usual while my prof was coming from the perspective of someone with a phd in asian art history#and a curriculum based mostly around exploring and investigating non euro art work and how movements like modernism and#post modernism functioned in other continents.#this is such a main blog post but idont care. EVERYONE HAS TO KNOW HOW I PROJECT AND INTERACT WITH HIM IN MY MIND#he would also hate how i argue for art even i dont care about by approaching it at the philosophical angle.#'how do you like this it's barely even art. or it is art. but it's a boring cop out for suckers. honestly.'#'the thing is i dont like it. i just think you need to expand your world views and stop being close minded. youre limiting yourself.'#you might go eiffel what are you basing this on? the answer is vaguely remembered panels in my mind plus generally taste opinions of his i#can gleam from what art references they give him within issues.#it would also be funny bc like. he has a background in design... he's just stubborn and snobby i think when it then comes to the realm of#fine arts. i think his opinions and how they operate in regards to design + illustration + non gallery art are probably quite different#but i cant lie. from the singular 'i dont wanna be some loser who shows up with a blank canvas to a gallery' panel i remember someone talki#about in a post i have used it to create a variety of thoughts i think he could have had.#and the answer is the opinions of someone definitely a little annoying in art school. with a pretty standard traditional training#and background that stems from euo+american art history and sensibilities that inform how he interacts with art. which is very normal#but i think it's funny to view him as someone i would probably roll my eyes at for some comments he would be making.#and it gets funnier with how he acts generally as a person.#kyle you cant be this snobby when you are drawing pin ups of your work crush in your home studio...#good lord this got so long i have a problem. hi. sorry to my new follower your kyle posting made me go ha ha kyle. i like that guy.#static.soundz#back issues box#< it might as well go there bc i blabbed way too hard and too much. sorry. overtaken by an entity in my mind
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about to be sooo nosy so. my apologies. but. morgan frost? girlfriend? do share (or don’t! again this is so nosy i’m sorry)
for legal purposes i can neither confirm nor deny anything about morgan and his girlfriend but afaik i think he’s single right now? at one point (within the past four years 😭) he did for sure have a girlfriend and that is the extent of my wag knowledge
#anon PLEASE i am the nosiest person in the world i understand i want to know everything. ever. however#because i have no evidence and don’t want to spread unfounded rumors i will state for the jury i am not a gossip blog#& anything i say should be taken with a grain of salt. or a vsco deep dive & also maybe a dig into the flyers media archives. wrt UNfounded#but i will gossip in your dms because it’s a vital method of communication and important for community building.#also i’m like 95% sure i just osmosed the fact that morgan and his girlfriend broke up sometime earlier in the hockey season from someone#else (probably flyerskay) and accepted it at face value like absolutely i’d trust kay with my life. she would never lie to me and therefore#i can’t be lying to you. i can’t remember morgan’s gf’s name tho but i can like. vividly remember her artsy possessive vsco photos 😭 help#that man posts more about tom petty than he does anyone else in his life besides joel so really how would we know if hes posted her less#the answer is we wouldn’t and i want to say her name is katie SO bad but i know that’s tyson’s gf it’s like. victoria or stacie or somethin#& i want to see if SHE deleted all her vsco pictures of him bc that’s how we’d know they broke up. frosty stop following so many girls#i want to try and find her and see (she’s a model and she was public and had her vsco linked so all of this is public info btw.)#ANON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA OANDJRIWNDHOWHDB IT IS 1:38 AM AND I HAVE JUST MANAGED. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD ANON HOLD ON#BUCKLE YOURSELF THE FUCK IN FOR AN ANSWER YOU DID NOT ASK FOR BECAUSE THIS IS A R I D E AND I NEED TO YELL ABOUT IT I CAN’T MY GOD I CANNOT#B R E A T H E i’m about to start crying again but the backstory is that. i have had a fic that i have been working on for literal years.#my version history says March 15 2021 and it started in my notes app about 3000 words before that and it’s based off of a tweet i thought#calla had quoted and just said ‘Joel’ about but in my notes i never#saved the actual tweet and many times throughout the years i have gone back and advanced searched every version of joel and joelle and bee#and behavior on calla’s blog that i could possibly think of and just assumed like. it must’ve gotten deleted or the account suspended and i#could never remember the wording well enough to just google it but believe me i tried and put in every variation. never found it in 4 years#i try periodically. fast forward to about twenty minutes ago i am looking through kay’s twitter and searching vsco because i SWEAR she has#the picture of frosty’s gf’s fingernail marks in the back of frosty’s shoulders i am talking about / I can’t find her vsco linked anywhere#but i’m like ok. search up a couple other things and think about who might have it and on a WHIM look up vsco in ash notthequiettype’s acct#no results okay whatever i think about what else could maybe pull it up for me so I have SOMETHING for you. I search frosty. I scroll. GUES#WHAT I FUCKING FIND FROM NOVEMBER 13TH 2020 it is THE FANTASTIC TWEET THAT SPAWNED 16K OF NOTES & FIC & A SPREADSHEET OF JOEL’S CLASSES#AND I NEVER WOULD’VE FOUND IT AGAIN IF NOT FOR THIS!!! LOSING IT!!! by it I mean my mind and my sleep schedule!!! it’s 2AM now good night!!#liv in the replies#morgan frost#philadephia flyers
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Will you ever reveal your 911sona to us king (gender neutral)?
Anon, I would LOVE to. Tragically, the only documentation of the life and death of my 9/11sona existed entirely on maybe 3 sheets of paper, written a decade ago for two linked school assignments that at the time I found wildly embarrassing, and honestly kind of offensive; if grade 9 wasn't one of the major milestone years for Canadian education (PAT's, baby!), I would have refused to do the assignment entirely, as inventing fake victims to mourn in a very real and (then) somewhat recent tragedy felt extremely fucked up. And it's still fucked up, it's just also really funny that someone thought that was an appropriate school assignment.
Anyways, my point is, while all this is hilarious in hindsight, at the time I was genuinely ashamed to have done the assignment, and once it was over I wanted to stop thinking about it, because if I acknowledged how much I hated that teacher, I WOULD start shit, and that would tank my grade for the year. Language arts is a wildly subjective subject, and so if you piss off your English teacher, you're absolutely fucked, because that grudge WILL show in how they grade you. So as soon as the 9/11sona assignments were marked and returned, mine went directly into the trash as I tried to scrub the whole nightmare from my memory. The overall situation remains seared into my brain to this day, but the details of my 9/11sona have, unfortunately, been lost to time. It wasn't nearly as interesting as the concept implies though; I sure as hell wasn't feeling any sort of passion for the project, so I'm pretty sure my 9/11sona was literally just some generic guy working some generic office job in one of the towers.
...Though the real punchline to this side of the story is that after a whole miserable year of gritting my teeth and holding back arguments to put up with this awful english teacher to ensure she marked me fairly, all of it became even more infuriating when I wound up getting into the exact situation I had been afraid of, literally on the first day of grade 10 english. As in, it was my first class after lunch, and I got in there about ten minutes early because I was worried about getting lost. Before the bell rang to start class that day, my brand new english teacher had informed me to my face that I specifically would be singled out to be marked on a considerably harsher curve than anyone else in the class. She fucking meant it too, the whole semester, apart from multiple choice tests, every single one of my english assignments had a strict grade ceiling of 79%, I never made it into the 80+ range by her standards, which was the most infuriating possible way to lose what had, until that point, been a perfect record of always ending a school year with my english mark in the 90's. I put up with making a fucking 9/11sona to maintain that record, and then lost it the next year to a snap judgment one teacher made literally less than ten minutes after I walked into her classroom.
...But that's a story for a different time.
#can you tell i'm still bitter about my grade 10 english teacher#BECAUSE I'M VERY FUCKING BITTER THANK YOU#i mean credit to her at least she had arguably the best grade 10 shakespear unit in the country#specifically bcause she thought romeo and juliet had been done to death and made us do Merchant of Venice instead#that was really cool honestly there was some really interesting discussions about the history of antisemitism#and how the plays depiction of shylock compared to other plays portraying jewish characters at the time#very interesting stuff! much more interesting than any discussion i've heard for romeo and juliet lmao#like i loved her class she was a great teacher. BUT SHE WAS ALSO A COMPLETE DICK TO ME SPECIFICALLY#english was always my best subject! i'd literally just failed my first class ever (math) the semester before!#I DID NOT NEED HER TO DESTROY MY CONFIDENCE. IT WAS ALREADY GONE#SHE WAS JUST KICKING ME WHILE I WAS DOWN AT THAT POINT
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a lot of my teachers this year have randomly complimented me on my writing even when the class largely has nothing to do with it and tbh??!??! it's really nice and it makes me want to write more?!?!?!!?!?!
#i thought i was bad at it but i think it's just bc i had to write so many academic essays that i stopped having time for creative writing#but i was shocked today because i had a one-on-one with my painting teacher which was basically my final#it wasn't even a crit just a talk basically about my painting#and i had to submit a write-up in advance about what i learned through the process of that class basically#so anyway when i got to the one-on-one the first thing he did was thank me for the write-up and he was like 'clearly you love writing'#'you're a good writer'#and i was like what!?!?!??!?!?#BECAUSE#im not trying to brag SERIOUSLY but i wrote it really fast and i didn't think it was that crazy#but it meant a lot coming from him because he's probably the most articulate and insightful teacher i've ever had#and also he like has a degree in english LOL#and he said i was a storyteller... so anyway..... i almost cried in the club immediately#well anyway. top ten moments#also my art history professor who i deeply respect wrote a very thoughtful comment on my work today to tell me that she thinks#that i 'have a true talent for written visual analysis' and to 'take her word on it'#BOTH OF THESE MOMENTS?? IN THE SAME DAY?!??!!?!#sorry for 18 paragraphs of bragging but i was truthfully floored#i am always floored when people compliment my writing because lowkey i am hugely insecure about it and feel like i can't articulate shit#like so insecure i cant even write lyrics for songs im like 'i have nothing to write about' man stfu just make shit up its called FICTION#anyway....#top ten days of my life
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Cant even yap about uni because id need to post an half an hour voice note on here
#nothing bad btw i just want to yap 😭#esp about pre and proto history#actually let me tell you ONE story i went to my british pronunciation class today and when the teacher read out the names with mine (my name#is jana btw) jjj.... yyy....yyy and i had to correct her not even an embryo of an attempt to jana [ CROATIAN LASTNAME]#and she said oh! i thought that was a smudge 😊 A SMUDGE IN THE SHAPE OF A PERFECT V ON A PRINTED OUT PAPER?#as in š or č or ž i mean#and THEN she wanted us to introduce ourself and say if we were abroad (in an english speaking country for au pair etc)#and i said i am from CROATIA so i spend a lot of time THERE and she literally went i dont care about that i didnt ask :|#TWO THINGS LADY YOU LITTTTTERALLY DID AN MICROAGRESSION IK YOU DIDNT MEAN IT THAT WAY#SECOND THING I MIGHT HAVE A CROATIAN ACCENT WHILE SPEAKING ENGLISH THEN INSTEAD OF A GERMAN OJE#im soooo mad because she lowkey is fun etc but after she mansplained that she wanted to hear about english countries#i said yes i know :) and we STARED at eachother#GOD HOW EMBARRASSING! BUT DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHY I DID IT??? LIKE I CANT NOT SAY THAT!!!!! AND NOW IVE BEEN#SITTING LIKE A SIM THATS CONSTANTLY EMBARRASSED ALL DAY ON THAT STUPID INTERACTON#INFRONT OF THE ENTIRE CLASS#sham!s rambles
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