#a part of me wanted to main tag this
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tbh the more Kaidan hate (and Ashley hate) I see, the more I feel motivated to make armor mods for them. and only them.
so far Kaidan has the most squadmate merge mods. With my mods (Kaidan Alenko's Armory and Warlock Armory, making a total of 9), Kaidan Alenko Overhaul (3), Squadmate Outfits (1), and Kaidanhaul (2), he has 15 total armors to go along with his 4 vanilla armors. There's also one that gives him the Alliance Marine armor, so make that 16.
and I'm going to give him even more armors in the future.
#cleric's convos#a part of me wanted to main tag this#but nah#but one day i'm going to make a gif series showing off all my armor mods for him#because it feels so damn good knowing he has so much cool shit to choose from
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THIS THING IS SCUUUFFED AS HELL & ITS ALSO THE BEST THING I HAVE ANIMATED THUS FAR. IM SO IN LOVE WITH EMIZEL. JUST WISH I GAVE HIM MORE STUPID TATTOOS. NEXT TIME THO. NEXT TIME. I ALSO LOVE VEX&VIV SOOOO MUCH. charlies flavor of Deranged is my FAVORITE!!
#cw gore#jrwi fanart#THE SQUIRMING IMAGE#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#ACTULY FINISHED THIS A WHILE AGO. kept going back n forth between trying to work on it more or call it done#in the end i chose DONE!! i worked on this for a full day n a half. NO idea what possesed me but it is NOT happenin again anytime soon#i shall do better NEXT TIME!! in the meantime tho OH MY GOOOOOD WHO WANTS TO SCREAM ABT THE SUCKENING WITH ME#THE FUCKINNN THE FUCKIN THING WITH VEX N VIV BEING THE SHADOW LEADERS OF THE FANGS/DEMONS#OH MMYY GOOOODDD THATS THEIR LIL MEAT GENERATOR... THTS SO FUCKED UP AND COOL UUUGHHH I LOVE THEM...#THEIR FLAVORE IS SO WONDERFUL. I LOOOVE HOW SILLY THEY ARE. MAKING PUNS WHILE PULLIN A SCREAMING VICTIM APART#vex n his lil fashiony art workshop and viv n her sterile n clean doctors office#i bet she doesnt even HAVE a medical liscense. it would be funny if vex did tho. could u imagine#they main MEDIC in tf2 together. viv is the battlemedic while vex only pocket medics for her. COULD U IMAGINE#guh i could go on abt these two forever n ever n ever i LOVE THEMM i gotta draw em more....#OH ALSO before i run outa room. i should say. i took inspiration from a tf2 animation called POOTIS ENGAGED#the animator. Ceno0. uses black bars in the action sequences in SUCH A COOL WAYYY everytime i watch that video i feel inspired#oneday ill make more complex fight scenes... one day....#in the meantime UGHHH I LOVE THE SUCKENING SO MUUUCH CAN I JUST FUCKIN SAAAYY THAT I THINK EMIZEL IS A SMART COOKIE!!#THESE PPL FUCKING FEAR HIM NOW!!! 'SHAMIA SHAMI' IS NOW THEIR MORTAL ENEMY!! POWERFUL ILLUSIONIST. CANT DIE.#THAT PART AT THE END THERE WHERE HE FUCKIN. KILLS HIMSELF INFRONTA THEM. THATS SO AWESOME. THATS SO METAL. AND THEN HE COMES BACK!!#I WATCHED EP 7 ASWELL BUT I WONT SPOIL IT HERE. BUT OMYGOD. EMIZEL IS SO COOL AND CAPABLE N SMART N FUNNY N UGHHHHHH I LOVE HIMMMMM#OKAY THATS MY RAMBLE FOR THE DAY THANKYOU FOR READING. I READ ALL TAGS SO YOU SHOULD RAMBLE TOO. IF YOU WANT. IF YOU CAN.
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jon val jon or something
#jean valjean#les miserables#les mis#meme#no bc i just read the part where FIRST of all he's 'so happy his conscience began to bother him' and immediately goes 'can't have that'#and then he 'lived in the backyard like a dog' OF HIS OWN HOUSE WHILE COSETTE IS IN THE MAIN BUILDING#and jvj my beloved i am obsessed with you king but it is SO unhealthy to intentionally deprive yourself just so someone else can tell you..#'no no don't do that you need to take care of yourself' like bro i know you want to be nurtured and have someone prove their love for you#but it's really not great that the only way you keep your room at a liveable temperature and eat good food is when cosette is making you#i say this without judgement bc that was me once too but good GOD man your identity cannot be her!!!!#and stop with the preemptive self-inflicted harm!!! stop with the self-protective and yet -destructive distancing!!#you're only doing that because you want someone to tell you to stop!!!!!#alternate chapter title: in which an old man finds himself at home among the youth (2014 tumblr)#ANYways all this to say jvj is a projectable 10000% and i hate him because i love him because i hate that version of me bc i love me#or: SHUT UP AND BE LOVED YOU SILLY OLD MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#kay has a party in the tags#kay can i just catch my breath for a second#kay is a classical literature nerd#my meme
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simulated earth (it does not matter)
transcript
#sherlock and co#sherlock & co#podlock#comic#sherlock holmes#john watson#victor trevor#ft. archie (in like three panels lmao)#need to figure out a podlock specific tag for these guys so this doesnt clutter up the main sh tags#bc ohhh boy. I anticipate being insane abt s&co for a While#this comic def a Hot minute post-gloria scott#what is this about exactly? you ask. haha well (there's sunlight bouncing off a window and when u look back Im already gone)#listen I caught up to everything right before gloria scott and holy Shit that case knocked me on my ass#as a chronic adhd (and thus serious memory problems) haver.... (holds sherlock tenderly)#I have not listened to SOLI yet btw I will tomorrow. I wanted to finish this before catching up#Im obsessed with them. Im such an easy idiot lmao Im a sherlock holmes adaptation enthusiast before Im a human#gloria scott.... the way it muses on the limit of the genre same as the red headed league.... what about the victims?#what about the victims. what about the victims. what part of the pain does the process of investigation cure#victor's like. he's between jobs he's between boyfriends he's living with his dad whose caretaker he just became. who does he have#and sherlock holmes is about the truth but john's been about the solution so far. I just. I really like this john watson lmao#listen the way he complains and then refuses to shoot the underlings in red headed league. based. I love him#I can fix him (radicalize him against punitive justice)#(I am refraining from talking abt sherlock in the tags here bc I Will run out of tags before Im done)#(mariana is not here but I care her too!! she will be here more often in the future I swear I fuckign swear......)#(''I'm in a co-op that's sponsoring my visa. also I just witnessed two actual dead bodies like a month ago'' you mean everything to me)#screams. I got attached SO fast this show is targeting me specifically. my broke millenials suffering in london show#I have like a number of sketches too be prepared. theyre gonna show up soon. until then#have a good day lads. be there! be there.#edit: this comic is finished and assembled in full before I listened to the solitary cyclist part one. this has been an update#I have now listened to SOLI part one. I must hit john watson with a hammer
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House M.D. but it's when a character says the name of the episode
#house md#prince's talk tag#flashing#repitition#so as i was watching this show i noticed they'd say the episode title in the episode#so i wanted to see how many times they did it#the people on livejournal who made transcripts of the episodes are my saviors and without them this would of been so much harder to do#thank you all for your service and i hope wherever you all are you're having a great day#sometimes they would use a variation of the word like in the episode poison they would say 'poisoned' or 'poisoning'#i did not include those instances#there was an instance in 'merry little christmas' where they do play the song in the show#but since ella fitzgerald was not a character in the show i did not include it#where as in the episode 'joy to the world' the students are singing it in the concert so i did include that#i apologize for the tonal whiplash when you get to that part but it did make me laugh#one of the times kutner says 'locked in' is overshadowed by the POTW's voice over but i assure you he says it and thats why its in there#out of the main characters from the one who said the title the most to least are#House > Foreman > Wilson > Chase > Cuddy > Adams > Cameron and Taub > Kutner > Thirteen and Park#this took a bit to do lolol its probably been done already but i wanted my own#there is a chance im missing some on technicalities but idc. im fine with this#there are two more i wanna do but with a character saying another character's name but ill do that some other time#EDIT: When I was making this video I was unaware that the Pilot episode went by two names: 'Pilot' and 'Everybody Lies'#Basically everywhere I looked the first episode was only referred to by 'Pilot'#which I found weird bc i remember seeing somewhere that the last episode was paired with the first episode in terms of title#but i couldn't find hard proof so I decided to leave it out at the time#well i checked again last night and yea the pilot IS also called Everybody Lies so I updated the video#I also think it goes well with the fact that House does say 'Everybody Dies' in the finale so another reason to fix it#AND he says it without Wilson while he and Wilson say the title of the pilot sooooo yea hehehehehe
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Tetris Fanart.
I've been playing tetris while listening to horror podcasts. and yeah
#text#art#eyestrain#cw eystrain#bright colors#cw bright colors#tetris#nintendo#god i dont know what to tag this with. i dont wanna tag it with the podcasts themselves cuz that feels disingenuous. swagever#i actually started this piece a while ago. ok yeah looking at the date that was almost 3 weeks ago wow#but i finally decided to bring it back and finish it#ive been getting back into digital art and its been really nice. its nice having finished pieces.#ive been trying to get weirder with my art. like this piece was weirdly 'personal' in a sense#its been my unique experience listening to these pieces of media. the game in the bg is jsut as important to my experience as the art itsel#the looming sense of dread these podcasts give fit weirdly well with the high tension of some of these games of tetris#i wanted to have that sorta weird ominous vibe to it. have even the pieces feel loud and threatening.#and the gameplay being Past the ds itself is something i thought could be neat#ykno the tetris effect? where you play a bunch and then after you see the shapes everywhere;you play it in your mind?#that was part of what i wanted to channel there. but also like; how your attention works with this stuff#i might be looking straight at the ds but my attention is elsewhere; my brain is in another world#the game is still inescapable tho. tetris effect whatever. these stories stick in my brain just as much.#its all given me some. very very annoyingn anxiety. but i have to go back to them. like a moth to a flame etc. hince the moth climbing out#but uh yeah. that set up was my life for a few weeks whenever i had free time.#the main podcast this is about was magnus btw <- not typing full name so im not on the tag#and uh.#objectum#yeah i think. i think yeah.
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Rui x Reader who is really affectionate, but can't touch him because of The Curse.
A/N: I'm alive!! Rui my beautiful beautiful tragic boy. I've actually been having a lot of brainrot for this game, particularly an isekai AU that made me contemplate making RP blog (I love you guys btw. This is probably my first fandom where they're so active, I've been really well connected with this fandom somehow and it's so fun!!), so I figured I might as well be writing it down now. This is an idea I've had spinning in my head for a while, so it's VERY self-indulgent/insert, but enjoy!! AO3 link here
Rui's POV. Second-person pronoun "You" is used. Angst! But also fluff!! (825 words)
You’ve always been an affectionate little thing. It’s something Rui finds adorable about you, staying optimistic despite all that looms over you, not letting any of the ghouls he KNOWS can be more than a little much sometimes destroy your positive attitude. It’s as if you decided to be the light in a place that literally has dark in its name, and he lov admires you for that.
He can’t help but feel the bitter green of envy though, when he watches you ruffle Lyca’s hair after he whines at you for treating him like a dog.
He pointedly turns away from the look Ed gives him over your head when you relax into his chest after he leans over your shoulder.
He just laughs along at your drunken antics when you nuzzle into Haru’s hand, somehow even more touchy when your cheeks are flushed with alcohol.
He tries not to remember the flash of hurt, confusion, the first time he’d backed away from your hand when all you wanted to do was give him a pat for a job well done. He doesn’t know if it hurt more when your face morphed into regretful understanding, or when you apologised and told him you’d try not to do it again.
Rui tells himself it’s for the better when he notices you’ve been avoiding him for the past week. He’d have done the same to you anyway, if he realised his feelings were starting to fester. He tries to not let it get to him when he hears you enter the Obscuary mansion, only to quickly patter up the stairs without stopping by the bar first, as you would have done previously.
Maybe before, he would have made it a little competition to see who could mess up the other’s hair more. He’d watched you run your fingers through Lyca’s after you’d tousled it out of place, anyway. Maybe in another life, you’d gently hold his face as you showered him with kisses. He’d do the same to you anyway, if he wasn’t forced to keep his hands to himself.
If he didn’t notice you hold your hand back every time you saw his mask slip. If he didn’t see your hand stop short before pulling it back to tell him he had a bit of hair out of place.
It’s all just part of the cursed life, he tells himself. He should be getting used to it by now, he sighs as he walks down the hall over to his room.
Behind him, he hears the jingle of the bell you like to wear on your keychain. He turns at the sound of your quick steps approaching.
“Rui! Ruiruiruiii!!” You call.
“Ah, there you are! Haha, I’m not going anywhere you know~ though I guess I don’t mind being chased?” He teases as you approach.
You smile up at him brightly, “I have something to show you!” You tell him, he notices now that you have a hand behind your back.
“Hm? Aw, did you get me a gift? And here I was thinking you were hiding from me!” He regrets the words the moment they leave his mouth. Your smile falters a bit as you blink at his confession.
But before he can backtrack with a “Just kidding!” your smile lightens again, eyes filling with some sort of resolve as you pull out… a glove on a stick? in your other hand.
He doesn’t pull away when he feels the simulation of a hand on his head. He can’t, when you look into his eyes with such unmistakable fondness. The awkward, stilted movements as you try to run the imitation hand through his hair communicates how long you’ve wanted to do this, and the tears that well up in his eyes betray how much he’s needed it.
He feels the cloth soak up the tears when you move the glove down to hold his face. It feels soft under his skin, and he can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all.
“How long did it take you to make this?” He asks as you let him lace his fingers with your hand extension. He squeezes the plush hand, feeling the soft give before it reaches the stick inside, inspecting where the glove and stick are attached.
“Um! A week? It took a bit of experimenting to get it to stay on… And they don’t really sell gloves on campus either.”
Your eyes crinkle when you look at him, the corners of your lips pull up triumphantly when he lets go of the hand to let you pat his head again.
“You deserve at least this much,” you tell him. “I know it’s not really the same or anything, but I don’t wanna leave you out, y’know?”
“It was worth it though, if it made you happy.” You look into his eyes as you say this, and he can’t help but believe you.
Reblogs and Comments are appreciated! I love you (◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*。
#Augh. The brainrot got to me guys. Also holy shit first full fanfic on this blog?? Hooray?? I've written and reblogged others from main but#A bit of an achievement! Really only wrote this cause I can't sleep lol#Actually this can?? be viewed as platonic??? I just like fics with pining and MC (Me lmao) is doing this as a friend who cares soooooooo.#If it matters at all#my writing#Nymphaea writes#Tokyo Debunker#Tkdb#Tokyo Debunker x Reader#Tkdb x reader#Rui Mizuki#Tkdb Rui#Tokyo Debunker Rui#Rui Mizuki x Reader#Tkdb Rui Mizuki x Reader#Shoulddd I tag the others? They're only mentioned though and I don't wanna be annoying#God Rui is such an interesting guy I hope I got him right#Whatever. There is enough love in fandom for me to be allowed to make mistakes#And anon told me I can do whatever I want forever!!#Angst#Okies if you got to this part I love you!!
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for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of
also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut
the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)
#hs#homestuck#dirk strider#eye strain#probably? if you think i should tag something else let me know!!#anyway hooray its time for rambling in the tags#so uhhh heres the teæ i've been sick for like a week and you know how it is when suddenly your throat becomes the main gunk warehouse#and you can't breathe lol. wish i could just pull it out. anywaaayy this is basically a vent piece for me being sick lol#also i could draw remotively the same thing with kris deltarune. oh how easy it is to project having a cold#though i have been also experiencing troubles with feelings recently as well....how fitting for dirk#speaking of the man himself (enough of me) his relationship with his own Heart...is peculiar to say the least#the thing i love about alphakids is that despite being so feral they were. so relatable. i cannot stress this enough how unwell they are an#and how they represented being a teen so well. yeah being 15 years old makes that to you#imagine being an emotional mess and trying to fit the 'norm' and act normal about your friends so youre not offputting#and then you fall in love with you friend and your ai clone falls in love with him too looool noone makes out of this one alive#uhh literally. godtiering stuff and dying remember#and speaking of it. tw for suicidal talk for the rest of tags#do you ever think dirk was suicidal. of course the part of when he teleports his head to jake was totally planned and he knew he would ->#wake up as dreamself but. don't you think the moment he cut his head off was sort of. cathartic. how much did he hate his own guts#beheading himself not only for the plan...but also because he thought he 'deserved' it#also wow he is a Prince and was literally beheaded don't you think its funny hahaa#sigh poor thing#this has ended on a not the very pleasant note hm#also fckkkkkk i didn't draw anything with rose/mary for the lesbian visabilty week#(putting the slash because tumblr search system has a dumb gag with showing you posts that contain the tag inside the other tag.#and i don't want this post to show up for the ros/mary fans because it's not!!!! its rose's father emotional crisis post!!!!)#update YOOOO WHAT THE HELL THE GIF HAS EVEN LESS PIXELS THEN I PLANNED fantastic#this your breakfast now tumblr. enjoy your crunchy flakes of dirks meltdown. mwah
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CHARLIE MAGNE from HAZBIN HOTEL (2019): Pilot - "That's Entertainment" ↳ "So, I've been thinking: Isn't there a more humane way to hinder overpopulation here in Hell? Perhaps we can create an alternative way to change souls through... redemption?"
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel edit#hazbin charlie#charlie magne#hazbin edit#requested#hazbin hotel pilot#that's entertainment#charlie#my gifs#god ain't she the cutest little thing!#not gonna lie i get a bit emotional seeing her do The Pose during ''wonderful fantastic new hotel''#it's the same pose she does in the S1 poster :')#okay actually im back here to say some things in the tags:#holy almighty LORD these gave me so much grief to color in a way i thought looked nice#specifically the one of her in the news chair. sorry i was NOT gonna let that hideous highlighter green color assault all your eyeballs.#did i lose nearly two hours of sleep getting it right because i still have no idea what i'm doing? yes. worth it? YES. ohh yes.#i liked the seafoam look so i made the cloud sequence match :] or at least tried to#there WAS supposed to be another one of her in the news room but i just hated how it kept turning out so i scrapped it.#coloring the main series was one thing to learn but the PILOT? never has it been so obvious to me just how much more bright and vibrant#the colors got during the progression of the world design. also. if by any chance one of those cool and experienced#gif makers happens to see these tags and wants a good laugh: i've been doing this for how many months now? and just last NIGHT figured out#how to use the fucking eraser in photoshop....... thing is... i also draw. i KNOW what program tools look like. i KNOW ppl draw in PS.#i'm just a really silly fuckin goose!! TEEHEE FUCKING HEE I GUESS!#so for months i've been like ''god i wish i could just erase this part from the layer'' and looking at the eraser tool and just being like#''nah it's probably different and weird i'll just stick to what i know'' -> said boo boo the FOOL#see i could be in the club but i'd rather be aggressively neurodivergent about the silly queer demon cartoon that altered my brain chemical
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played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles
#dragon age tag#i doubt that will see much use again..but who knows. vvv rambling below#weird game..the characters dialogue stuff and ending were good tho :')#i've played some of the first game but it kept crashing. i knew already despite knowing nothing that this guy was going to be my type#it doesnt feel right making video game art any more bc games like this end up feeling really personal - an experience that happened to me#if i design the main character a bit and fall in love then..that happened to me..i can't make Fan Art of that..only ive been through that..#like i cant make fanart of my dear companions in bg3 despite it having been a huge part of my heart in the last year#almost 1000 hours of playtime in something i can barely talk about bc it means too much.... lol#tons of ideas and conversations and extra thoughts and scenes and emotions about all the incredible times i've been through in bg3#and the maelstrom just rotates around intensely in my own heart forever...but that's ok too...that is so precious to me#but fortunately i already knew people that have played this game and talked/drew abt it recently so it was saved from that for me#sharing scribbly fanart on my Blog is a way to capture the feeling just after experiencing something so it has good points#witch hat atelier escapes that by not being a GAME. games are so immersive. but my wha art & feelings are incredibly immersive too#which makes it difficult sometimes now. i live a complicated and emotional life <3 i am not suited to fandom <3#my character ended up looking so much like oru without me realising that's what i was doing. Kind bearded fireball throwing gay mage. Hmm.#falling for a sad white hair memory trauma fellow that keeps you at a tragic distance. Hmmmmmm.#i see also how very much bg3 is inspired by stuff like dragon age now lol so i'm glad i experienced it. I WANT MY KIRKWALL LIFE BACK...#so dated though as well and unpleasant at times (the city and the dismal atmosphere was depressing.) i hate violence/horror..#bg3 is SOOOO very dismal but it feels like I am killing people and going through horrors because i have to survive i have to be free#Well anyway. ahh it's so refreshing to fall in love. my gay journey continues...
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nessa in the bun suit
#my art#what r my tags for her. god#vanessa#vanessa fnaf#fnaf vanessa#vanessa sb#sb vanessa#fnaf#security breach#i always forget to main tag my non🌞🌜 art lolz#anywayy i wanted to draw her in the bunny suit But i also wanted to show that i Respect Women so here she is HHDKAJGJD#but i still gave her a jacket and a belt so she wouldnt feel so naked..#the fishnets r torn at her thighs not bc if anything naughty but because thick thighs are the natural enemy of thin pants like those#like i have so many ripped leggings. ANYWAYYYYY#those shoes and feet were hellish to draw. ugh. but hopefully i've convinced everyone that i actually definitely know how to draw them ^_^#also her hair is rlly messy and curly here because i accidentally made it really messy and curly. bc i like how it looks#i personally think the pose is really clever on my part. it resembles a cutesy anime pose but only bc she's trying to take the heels off#and ig you could say smth about how this whole drawing is abt a forced performance of femininity. and abt nessa trying to escape it#but that just makes me sound like im overthinking it HFKAKGKS i just have strong feelings abt how oversexualized she is#i hope everyone enjoys reading a whole entire essay in the tags everytime i post bc im not stopping anytime soon
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yoohoo, I just need you to know you've ruined my life✌️ /j but like. finished reading frequency, what three days ago now? and since the moment I put it down, I have been. directionless. listless. I am consumed by, not DESPAIR, because despair is too passionate a word but. dissatisfaction? I miss the life I lived while I was still reading it. which is honestly rather appropriate considering some of the themes in the fic. I miss the person I was when half of my mind existed in the realm of the au. I fear I may never get over it and I may never recover the life I once had before this fic ruined me for all others, but I also cannot bring myself to regret reading it even if I never feel satisfaction again. I have tasted ambrosia, and the bread and wine of men shall forever be ash upon my tongue. pay my therapy bill.
i know these asks were sent in july but i love them and want to immortalize before they get buried in my inbox
first of all thank you so much!!! frequency has been one of my favourite projects to do over the past couple years i love that ppl are so into this absurdly niche fic. (i cannot pay ur therapy u simply must reread it forever rip (i mean writing it was like 50/50 self-indulgence and catharsis which means maybe reading it does the same thing lmaoo))
second yes! yeah it was Six who changed the timeline. a big old theme, possibly the main theme, of the whole fic is about change and who gets to create it. Six mirrors Thad in the ways that he believes himself unworthy of importance, and that the capacity to create change is inherently barred from him because of who and what he is.
so it was really important that Six was the one to make the choice to try change things - the guy whos entire powerset relies on being as inconsequential as possible. it shatters the original timeline, it results in his death, it causes a lot of very bad ripple effects, but he also saves Nathaniel. who saves Jude. who together both save Thad - who saves Bart and CRAYDL and defeats Three and discovers his own capacity for change in the process.
that was sort of the point of the whole "the spectrum of change is a horizon, not a tower" litany. there's no hierarchy. anybody can go towards it, they just gotta choose where they're going.
Six doesn't really save the day, but by wrenching the prewritten tragedy off its course, he creates the opportunity for Thad & co. to save it themselves.
#asks#frequency fic#morriganmisbeth#genuinely fell so in love with Six while writing frequency and it definitely shows lmao#but at his core he's basically just Thad's fixation on ''importance'' taken to its logical extreme#Six doesn't think he can do anything about anything so he doesn't even try. because he's - in a very meta sense - not the main character#in the same way that Three - in a very meta sense - has decided his only escape is to Become The Main Character#it matters a lot when Six ''goes linear'' because (by fostering real connections with Jude and Nathaniel) he has become part of the story#and therefore has to experience it like everyone else#and has the capacity to affect the narrative like everyone else#like Three's whole speech to Bart about ''if the universe didn't want me to kill you somebody wouldve stopped me by now''#is basically 2 degrees away from a kinda meta awareness that - purely by virtue of being the main character - Bart has plot armor#Three knows that if he becomes Bart Allen he can basically do anything and everything#because there wouldn't be a fucking story otherwise#and then Thad's ultimate realization in the end is that. yknow. hes a person. and Bart's a person.#and obsessing over who gets to do x or y because the ''universe'' says so is bullshit#hes literally part of the universe he gets to do whatever he wants because HE says so#tags went long sorry i like talking abt this
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it's still not enough, i'm not enough
#my art#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd beast#bungou stray dogs beast#atsushi nakajima#nakajima atsushi#beast atsushi#am i missing any tags#ANYWAYYYY guess that i finally drew something and FINISHED IT. LONG TIME NO ART!!!!!!!!!!#i had many things i wanted to say. head empty now that im done and posting this#therell hopefully be a part 2. if im strong enough. please look forward to it#the rare fanart from me. even RARER to draw the main character.#then again thats kind of balanced by this being beast au BUT BUT BUT#(so normal about beast)
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Headcanon: Chilchuck and his Bad Takes on Literature
i think chilchuck would be like my mom in the sense that he wouldnt like sad stories. dont get me wrong, cautionary tales? absolutely fine. they serve a purpose to him which is to tell people "dont be an idiot and do this or else something bad will happen"
generally sad or angsty stories though? no point to him, and in his perspective its really confusing how people just read things that make them sad. like whats the use of reading something if its just gonna make you sad. whats the lesson? its not even real so it doesnt help anyone.
whats the point in making yourself cry when you could just avoid that entirely by not reading it at all?
but the one of the biggest reasons why sad stories exist is to let you release all the built up grief in you. to send you something to let out all your emotions in a healthy way. catharsis. empathy.
even when i dont relate to the tragic experiences in some stories, several ones ive read have lead me to realize that im in a bad situation or that im following in the footsteps of the character suffering. its like a wake up call.
and making yourself cry isnt inherently a bad thing. if crying allows you to let go of building pressure and tension in you then thats good!
but chil wouldnt see that. of course he wouldnt, hes avoidant of most situations that would allow him to release emotion, and fearful of letting his mature (read: repressed) persona slip.
hes someone that runs away to quick comforts and distractions at the earliest sign of issue. hes already been in too many horrifying situations, dealing with another is a pain. and he knows denying everything and refusing to look at the situation doesnt help, but it definitely provides a quick and easy happiness in the comfort of ignorance.
because of this, reading something made to make one empathize with and confront these bad emotions is defeating the point of his cowering. if he faces his issues, even if only through the perspective of a story, he'd have to deal with acknowledging that things are bad and need fixing, and he'd feel terrible and guilty in the moment - which of course is the worst thing that could happen to a person (his thought, not mine).
which is why i find the concept of him being/becoming a tragedy himself at the same time as this headcanon soooo interesting. imagine the irony of him bashing on the protagonists of tragic stories for acting on emotion and impulse rather than logic, when he himself has fallen victim to irrational thinking while in grief.
cause... thats what people do when they grieve. they lash out, make bad decisions, ruin themselves, ruin others.
for a tragedy to be prevented, the protagonists would have to change fundamental parts of themselves, and act perfectly rational when under extreme stress. and chilchuck holds himself to these kinds of unrealistic standards because he unwittingly believes he can handle it all.
he cant, obviously. we see it for ourselves in his relationship with his wife. they were doomed from the beginning by chils already-established avoidance and lack of emotional vulnerabiltiy (and whatever else his wife had going on).
this is all just to say that if you told him about orpheus and eurydice, he'd probably be one of those idiots trying to point out the "plot hole" that he couldve "just not looked back" and "just trusted her"
i dont understand. whats the point in reading tragedies? the protagonist is stupid, anyways. why would you take bitter medicine? why subject yourself to that?
i think its just a bad story.
#EDIT : SORRY THAT THERES NO PICTURES BY THE WAY I COULDNT BE BOTHERED TO LOOK FOR APPROPRIATE ONES IM SORRY!!!#hi. i wrote meta on accident#THIS WAS MEANT TO BE PART OF A JOKE BUT THEN I JUST KEPT GOING AND GOING AND I FORGOT TO MAKE THE JOKE PART OF IT SO NOW ITS 100% SERIOUS#to be fair i was always serious but i intended for it to be presented as a joke#this took me like 3 hours to write god help me#i did this instead of doing my homework. im toast#anyways. hi yes. chilchuck is a hypocrite#feel free to discuss about this cause i find it really interesting. theres layers to this mans hypocrisy HHSDHASHDDH#my fascination with chils avoidance like ive talked about above is the main motivation for tragedy au actually#imagine a world where he gets what he wants. he can change the narrative change himself and prevent anything that could possibly go wrong#and dream up a fantasy world where he can let go of all responsibility and his avoidant behavior has no consequences#id talk more about it but also im really sleepy and should be working so ill leave you with this for now#im... i gotta tag this man i worked too hard on it#chilchuck#chilchuck tims#dungeon meshi#yeagh. yeah!
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its awkward for everyone involved except for this guy
#oc: leaf (pmd)#oc: emerald (pmd)#darkrai#pokemon#pmd#pokemon mystery dungeon#leafeon#glaceon#he is dressing his best for this divorce#but the main reason i did this was because by pitting him into this relationship thats kind of All he became#and what he represents for both sisters struggles also meant that me as the author couldnt really figure out how he would be as a person#so im also making that the lore here and more or less what he felt#its a bit like freedom for him#also i just got bored of this ship#there is a Part of me that also wants to snip emerald/bronze and divorce them too but i will not do that disservice to kid me#emerald/bronze have been a thing for years and years!!! so theyll stay that way#art tag
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so so so glad ur art has been taking off lately... i've loved ur dol art for ages now, so it's fun to see things with a wider appeal blow up! nwn
ty for sticking with me for so long !!!! it's honestly so surreal tbh,, im just kinda doing whatever comes to mind / whatever i want to do, im glad people seem to like it :33
#idkk its kinda lowkey scary in a way a part of me wants to gatekeep my stuff#NOT TO SAY IM NOT GRATEFUL it just feels like im kinda put under a spotlight and im expected to keep drawing the same shit and idkkk#and idkkkkkk i dont want to say its for a wider appeal its kinda giving me the vibes of calling my drawings content and idkkkkkkkkkkkkkk#like ohh you have to know who ur target audience is oh you have to stop posting that bc no one cares and like who gives a shit#if i like it then i like it#i mean its why i dont put so many main tags in my stuff i just put the general fandom tag and character tag for organization purposes#except for like... that one mouthwashing drawing i think i wanted to add the character tags but it ended up looking like i was trying to#add every single tag under the sun 😭#which isnt bad btw !!!! i think every art/writing/project etc etc deserves to be seen and tags help with that#personally i dont like doing it so much unless i put a considerate amount of effort into a drawing bc i earned it or smthn#shit most of my stuff just has my personal tags in it i really didnt expect for them to suddenly be shared around#its that whole 'fear of being percieved vs that need for validation' i have going on. it kinda annoying tbh#sorry i got so rambly in the tags i overthink a lot can u tell LMAO#franswers
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