#because it feels so damn good knowing he has so much cool shit to choose from

[clericofshadows]

tbh the more Kaidan hate (and Ashley hate) I see, the more I feel motivated to make armor mods for them. and only them.

so far Kaidan has the most squadmate merge mods. With my mods (Kaidan Alenko's Armory and Warlock Armory, making a total of 9), Kaidan Alenko Overhaul (3), Squadmate Outfits (1), and Kaidanhaul (2), he has 15 total armors to go along with his 4 vanilla armors. There's also one that gives him the Alliance Marine armor, so make that 16.

and I'm going to give him even more armors in the future.

[tyinghershoe]

This with bakugo except yall aren't dating and he has a lil crush

I died laughing reading this. I couldn’t NOT write this out.

Bakugo finds out that you’re telling people he’s your babies father.

Above all, Bakugo is flustered!  

Sure, the first shock arose a hint of anger and embarrassment - as expected when your crush is telling people all sorts of things - but afterward, there was an underlying feeling of giddiness, a type of glow as he thought about how “holy shit, y/n talks about me? I'm on their mind?” 

So, it’s safe to say that he isn’t ENTIRELY bothered, but he is confused. You talk here and there sure, being a part of the same friend group does that, but there was never and inclination that feelings were reciprocated, nor has there ever been a moment that could lead to, well, the current gossip you're spreading around now (He doesn’t want to this too much about this aspect though). 

Now here he is, sitting down in the common area waiting for you to walk right in (you come in every day at exactly 5:28 to watch a show with Mina! Not that he memorized that or anything) so he can hopefully get an answer out of you. 

As expected, there you are. Trotting down to sit on the couch while holding on to your favorite snack, you brought the smaller bag this time, which means you won't be staying down here for long. Actually, you won't be staying here at all, as Bakugo stands up the moment you two make eye contact. 

“Y/n, we need to talk,” he says, choosing to ignore the slight shake of his voice. The confused look on your face is all he needs to know, as he does his best to keep a calm attitude. Stay cool, Bakugo! The last thing he wants is for you to think that you’re just as much of a nuisance as his other friends.  

“Sure.” Confused as you are, you still walk towards him as he strides slightly away from the couches and into a more private area. This is for his sake only, as you seem unaffected by his cryptic commands.  

An urge to stay calm sits in the back of his head, and he turns to stare into your eyes. 

“Hey.”  

“...hey?” 

FUCK! He thinks - that wasn’t what he planned at all! “Was that too casual? Should I just be straight up? She probably doesn’t even like me, screw it.” 

“Why are you telling people in your baby’s father?” The twitch of his eye goes unnoticed, and only now does he realize that the situation is as stupid as it seems. There's an echo in the hall, adding amplification to the tension. 

You however look at him nonchalantly and shrug your shoulders a bit. 

“I don’t know. Bored as hell.” 

That’s all that comes out of your mouth, and for a split-second Bakugo thinks that maybe you really are a nuisance, or maybe Denki accidentally fried your head, only that can explain this reasoning. 

“That’s it? You’re telling people that because you’re bored?” He gasps as if that explanation isn’t good enough (it really isn’t), but you are undoubtedly you - so the chuckle that escaped your lips is one of obvious reasoning. 

“I mean what am I supposed to do?” It’s as simple as that, really. It comes off as almost factual: the sky is blue, the grass is green, Bakugo is the father to your baby.  

“Study, train, use a different dude for your damned rumors.” His voice is laced with grit, but the faint hue of pink that is laced onto his ears and cheeks is noticed by you.  

“Like you’d let that happen!” You challenge. 

 His voice hitches for a second. He wants to scream at you, say that “Obviously I wouldn’t! That bastard you’d pick wouldn’t even compare to me! Have fun having an ugly baby with whoever comes next!” but all that comes out is a simple scoff, “As if.” 

You just smile, and feign innocence to the fact that you know he’s jealous. He sighs and looks at his shoes for a minute, grumbling something softly. 

“At least let me take you out first.” the words are so faint you swear you’re hallucinating. But the shifting of his body lets you know it isn’t a joke.  

“Really?” A smile is etched onto your face, and that “unbothered” attitude of yours quickly folds, showing your true excitement. 

“Yes really!” he begins abrasively, “If you’re gonna be spewing some of your weirdo stuff, then at least let me go out with you for real. The last thing I want is some more rumors.” The excuse is aggressive and simplified, but it’s good enough for the both of yall.  

A nod of your head is all he needs for approval, and finally, he can breathe. 

“Tomorrow?” You ask softly, as it is now your turn to act coy. 

Theres a hum of approval, and he turns to leave – which is for the best, there’s only so much giddiness two lovers can take. 

“Tomorrow.” 

He walks away. 

“I’m not retracting what I told everyone earlier!” the halls echo, but it’s now a reminder of the turning chapter. 

Check out my masterlist here!

[sungjinhos]

WESTERN WIND

Vernon is on the verge of freaking out - Vernon is chill, Vernon is calm, but everyone has a limit, and Vernon's limit is when he complains 3 consecutive weeks about his front wing and the engineering team doesn't do a thing about it.

✦ genre: F1 Alternative Universe, almost enemiers to lovers (but really just have a fight in the workplace now we are weird), smut, they do it without protection so - be safe guys love you.

✦ word count: 8.9k+ ✦ title inspired by Carly Rae Jepsen - Western wind

✦ Thea note: okay, this was a challenge!! This was written for a friend who enjoys the f1 world and isn't a carat - but we are working on it. I write for me and I write what i like to read and to me, Vernon screams lazy sex so that's that - that's really nothing more on this subject. reminder 1: i am not an english speaker so i am very sorry about any mistake but you don't need to be a bitch about it. Also, I may try to write every member but gooooood some are harder than others, and vernon was hard for me so i am sorry if the characterization is weird or when you are reading this you think shit this is not Vernon lol I reached a point where i was like yeah i'm giving up.

Vernon has always been obsessed with the idea of flying. 

Not taking an airplane-flying, but actually flying. The closest he got to this was behind a steering wheel. And he got so obsessed with the feeling - first the wind against his face, then the whiplash of going too fast.  He loved it so much that he just made a career out of it. 

And Vernon was good at it, one of the best really, first drive in his new team and all. But it is the seventh grand prix and the car still lacking and there is so much he can do with pure strength and strategy. 

He can't fight aerodynamics. He can't, and to be honest, he shouldn't do what the engineering team was supposed to. But he is one step away from getting out of the car and breaking the damn front wing with his bare hand in the middle of the box. Vernon, a lot of people don't know, but he has this kind of superpower when he gets incredibly mad his face is still calm, and nobody knows he is on the verge of freaking out.

But Vernon just handles the steering wheel to the guy next to the car and jumps off it without making a scene. On a scale of Fernando Alonso to Kimi Raikkonen Vernon leans more to Kimi's side, even though right now he may pull off a Nico Rosberg or psychological warfare like Michael Schumacher against the engineering team, he is not above it today. 

He is no Kimi Raikkone though. Vernon does prefer just being in the car. He enjoys being on the circuit running laps. He is chill with being on the go, traveling around, jumping on airplanes, and Vernon developed a near to perfect packing method - he travels with just a backpack, thanks god. Vernon doesn't love press tours, sometimes they are just insufferable. He doesn't love to have a run down when his week has been shit - trashed car or broken really. But otherwise, Vernon is cool with it, he laughs a little, he goofs with other pilots, he has friends - sometimes he goes out with Lee Chan the Haas pilot. Sometimes he cracks jokes with Mingyu and Wonwoo - the Red Bull duo. So sometimes press is actually fun, and even tho Vernon is an accomplished guy in his field pole and race win on his name he also still has idols on the paddocks because he is against names like Choi Seungcheol and Hong Joshua.

So Vernon enjoys his life really, he isn't one to overthinking about what choosing this type of life made him lose. He gained so much that it would be unfair to do that, to wonder what it could be.

But when Vernon feels like his team is not even hearing his complaint about how the aerodynamics of the car is fucked up Vernon wants to just crash the car and scream in the box. What the fuck? Fix the gooddamn wing for fuck's sake. 

But Vernon doesn't scream in the middle of the box, it wouldn't be good for the press, and Vernon is calm he is chill, but he isn't dumb. He does this when the engineering team, himself, and Choi Minho, his team principal, are in a more private area.

"What the hell? I've been complaining about the front wing since the Australia GP."

"We have been working on the wing." The engineering girl slash prodigy answers.

"And why the fuck is not working properly? This car will fly out of the track if a single drop of rain falls." Vernon continues because he is the one putting his life on the line really. Why no one is giving a fuck about what he has been saying.

"We are trying, you know about regulations we cant-" You try to say as if everybody doesn't remember that FIA is actually the worst ever and it is your job to care about regulations too.

"Oh my fucking God. I gonna crash this car in the first fucking lap I am not even kidding." Vernon says pacing around the table, he hates the whole can't do won't do FIA-related frustration. 

"Ok, Vernon you know we can't really do anything about it right now," Minho says arms crossed. "So stop bitching about it, and no you will not crash my car in the first lap you are not stupid." And now Vernon knows he can't really crash his car but he feels the urge to do it nonetheless, Minho can scrap his bank account he doesn't care, he can go fucking penny less but he will have his front wing fixed up.

 "You," Minho says pointing at you and you are actually relieved, you can take the screams of the team principal - even tho Minho is not near screaming, but taking shit from the pilot? Not gonna happen "For fuck sake take his complaint and actually do something about it for the next GP, you have like 5 people that could have been working for NASA in the team if he complains again about this mothefucker wing again I gonna have a stroke," he says leaving the room.

"Why do you guys only act when I bring Choi Minho to the room?" Vernon asks feeling dumb and to be honest disrespected. He knows he is young, he knows he is new, but he was brought to the team for a reason.

"Not that it matters," You say already picking the things around the table, probably from a previous meeting. "But he is my boss, not you Vernon."

"I am the one inside the car," Vernon says trying to attain some kind of respect or authority.

"Ok, that's not relevant to me whatsoever. I work designing a car that if we put a dog behind the wheel is gonna be fast so-" You say because you are tired this front wing nightmare has been going on for more than the australia grand prix actually, it's always the same problem, again and again, your team fixes it but it always comes back to life like a zombie or something.

"Did you just say that I am not relevant? Are you kidding me?" Vernon actually scoffs because of course he knew when he arrived in Mercedes that the team is bigger than him, he knew what all the critics said, but being treated that poorly by a co-worker? Fucked up man.

"That's not what I meant-"

"Yeah yeah yeah like Im just a dumb kid on the wheel, that's what you meant. I really thought we could build a nice relationship and all-" Vernon cuts you already opening up his overall because it is hot as fuck, like one step away from dying hot. "I guess the civil war thing going on wasn't in my plans but if you guys on the engineering want that I have no problem whatsoever in being a fucking dick."

Vernon says almost dashing to his trailer, fucking stupid overalls dangling around his waist because if one of the journalists asks him something about his wing or his time or how Kim Mingyu got the pole, Choi Minho is not the only one who will have a stroke. Health care plans and his life insurance will skyrocket.

After Vernon takes a shower, he realizes how dumb and idiotic he is. This happens a lot. Vernon doesn't really know how to deal with his rage, so when the anger dissipates, he just ends up regretting everything. 

Regretting is not even close to the proper word. When Vernon analyzes the chances of him fucking up his entire year because you simply do not rage war on your engineering team - that was like a rule, not a rule scratch that, it was a dogma. A rule you can break, if you try that shit on a dogma, you will root in hell. The hell being Vernon's worst nightmare - having the team ask him to pull aside to the other driver because he can't keep up, the reason? His shitty ass front wing.

But when the actual race comes and Vernon starts the race in third and finishes up in 5th place, he doesn't know who will drop dead first, him or Choi Minho. 

"Do we need a meeting between grand prix to fix this hellhole you guys have been calling a car?" His boss asks and Vernon can see you just rolling your eyes. Dude, that's crazy. Did you just roll your eyes to Choi Minho? That was insane. 

And Vernon coped the only way he knew - developing a wealth obsession fueled by hatred, all because you didn't give him his wing and a roll of your eyes at Choi Minho.

Before that, Vernon really didn't have a problem with you. Since he moved to Mercedes everything was great! Great team! New and more powerful car! Great teammate - Lee Jihoon, who actually took Vernon under his wing. The pre-season was great, and he didn't have problems with you whenever you two had to talk about the development stage of the car. 

Actually, Vernon finds you interesting really, that's not a lot of women in F1, and the majority of the women actually deal with public relations or team management like Kwon Boa. He always saw you around, really, always in jeans, tennis, and a Mercedes shirt. Sometimes with glasses, sometimes with a cap on. Always chatting with someone, sometimes writing things down on a notebook, sometimes explaining something. 

He didn't actually have any problems with you. He didn't have a reason, but now? Now Vernon can't really back off, can he? God, he was not a fighter and neither a hater, but he wasn't a coward either. 

So when his one-week break is cut short and people send him to Northamptonshire Vernon is angry because really: 1st he could use a few days off, 2nd between the Emilia-Romagna and the Monaco GP he had booked a crazy Airbnb in Cannes.

Now he was stuck in this hell hole of a place, in a way too cold meeting room, with like the whole engineering team and his boss. Not ideal. So Vernon's mind just wonders really, he thinks about how he needs to catch up on his favorite TV show, maybe he can check on his family later, or call his friend Boo Seungkwan - maybe he would call Seungkwan to Monaco is bouge enough for Seungkwan.

“And that's why we try to fix the front wing, but it seems like the aerodynamic problem is always back. Lee Seokmin actually did design another front wing at the start of the pre-season but you guys said that this one had a better grip” You finish the whole ppt-presentation, sometimes you hated your job so much, and by sometimes you meant the whole ppt presentation of a problem that we can`t actually fix because of regulations and because you guys main driver didn't do proper feedback in the first place. And now you have a problem in your hands, that to begin with, it wasn't even yours. 

“So the best thing we can do is?” Choi Minho asks and you laugh because right now you are not the one treating Vernon like a damn child on the wheel, it is Choi Minho, but Vernon is too engrossed in his own mind to notice or he feigns ignorance because it is Choi Minho who is talking, not you the mere translator girl for the engineering team. 

“We can try always the wet tire even if it's just light, and we can always use the soft tire at the beginning of the race it is the less durable but if he is in a good position to start with we can always call him back-”

“So, we did this three-hour meeting” Vernon actually checked his watch. It was a tree hour meeting for god`s sake. “for the resolution being soft tire and pray for a good pit stop? Are we crazy?”

“If you heard about FIA rules we cannot-” You try to speak but really, you don't even know why you start when you know you gonna be ignored by the man in the room and it’s F1 there is always a man in the room, always.

“Ok ok,” Vernon interrupts. “Just so you know that’s crazy, everything about this wing situation is crazy, we are just handling the championship, we are not even close to being - I don't know? 5th fucking place.” 

“We need to make the legal team re-analyze the rules,” Minho says contemplative and not really angry, and to be honest you wouldn't be either because it is true, but Vernon could be less bitch about it because it is not your fault either

“Just that? Ok,” Vernon says and he gets up because when Minho talks about the legal team it`s gonna take 4 to 6 days to actually find a loophole in the damn manual, but hey ok, it's fine, Vernon it’s chill, but not chill enough because the next moment his mouth is moving. “Maybe you could ask for the engineering team to work on that too I don't know just a thought” 

And you laugh, loud and clear. And Vernon is truly spooked. What the heck? Are you going crazy? Has the excruciating work and the insane hours with the weekly jetlag made you crazy? 

“Yeah Minho,” you say, picking up the papers. Why do you always pick up? Are they top-secret papers? Vernon never thought about corporate espionage, but it may be a thing. “Maybe you can ask your drivers for proper feedback when I ask them about grip and wings and start making them say whole sentences, not it's bad and a sad emoji. If we did send a form about this shit we wouldn't have this problem,” You actually leave them room, but Minho and Vernon continue listening to your voice down the hall. “Oh Vernon, how it’s going with the car. Make them say 4 whole sentences and not it's chill. Maybe that would help” and then you scream. “Just a thought."

“I mean” Choi Minho starts getting up too. “Nothing against a rivalry in the workplace, dang in my times, it was worse. But if I get an actual complaint - Humans Resources or Legal Team involved - I am so firing both of you, and I am not even caring about labor law or whatever.” 

And Vernon thinks it's weird how he was the first one to get up and the last one out of the meeting room.

So when Vernon actually arrives in Monaco - Boo Seungkwan, his best friend since birth, on his side, the civil war in his team is still going on at full speed. The tire strategy is still in place. Choi Minho still looks at him every five minutes like a babysitter. You still give a side eye every time you both share a room, Vernon is even more aware that you roll your eyes at everyone. Are you just discontent with everything?

But he doesn't think so when he sees you and Jeonghan, the team strategy, and Jun, one of the mechanics, laughing while eating lunch. Vernon is puzzled really why the fuck is he, Choi Minho, and the whole team getting side eyes and Jeonghan and Jun receiving beautiful smiles and even laughs? That's weird, more than weird, that's unfair really.

"What's going on in your head?" Boo Seungkwan asks, actually stealing a bite of Vernon chicken's breast. 

"Just, you know the whole war in the team. That's the girl that is actually making my life hell." Vernon says voice low like he is telling Seungkwan a secret, trying to be discreet. 

"That one?" Seungkwan asks loud and not caring about the top secret war going on, apparently. "Oh, Vernon, she is pretty."

"And?" Vernon thinks puzzled because really he never stopped to think about it. "Ok, ok, stop looking," Vernon says when he sees Jeonghan looking back at his table, grabbing Seungkwan and almost getting up and turning Seungkwan`s head himself. God.

"You didn't tell me she was pretty." Seungkwan acts like it was the most important thing ever. Missing the point, really, because the most important thing ever in this whole ordeal was Vernon's career and the probability of it ending abruptly. 

"Yeah, because it is not important, I mean…" Vernon trails off because again, he never stopped really, but thinking about you are pretty. Or at least not recently. Vernon thinks back when you two met in the pre-season and he may have blushed once or twice talking to you in the first days, but he wouldn't call it a crush.

"Hey Vernon," Jeonghan says, stopping at his side. "We will go over the strategy at 3 pm for the first free practice, so if you need anything, just give us a heads up before."

"Oh, sure man, actually I was thinking about the ty-" Vernon starts.

"Bye guys, if I hear one more driver talking about how they don’t want to start with a soft tire today, I'm gonna jump the nearest cliff." You say, lacing arms with Jun and just dragging him.

"Oh, she is feisty today," Jeonghan laughs. "Okay, anyway, you can bring everything to the team, right? I need to actually get some information with her so-" 

"Sure, sure man, no big." 

“Yeah," Boo Seungkwan just laughs, and laughs, he actually almost falls backward type of laughing “When was the last time you got laid?"

"Hm?" Out of nowhere? What the heck was going on in his friend’s mind? But Vernon actually needs time to think about it, fuck, when was the last time? Vernon didn’t even remember with whom. "I don't know a few weeks?"

"Months right?" Seungkwan answered in a heartbeat, chewing on a long French fries.

"Maybe dude, you know it is hard when I am always on the go." And it was hard, Vernon wasn’t lying. He didn’t enjoy the whole no-string attached really, and after he got a little famous - in a very niche type of famous he knew that, he was no rockstar type of guy, but still, he enjoyed it even less.

"Yeah didn't peg you for doing in the workplace kind of guy, always talking about how it is precious and nothing can disturb the paddock’s energy,” Seungkwan says making Vernon almost choke on his food.

“First, that is the rule that applies when you want to bring your boyfriend Kwon Soonyoung because last time he almost broke my trophy,” Vernon can actually feel the chill going through his body just remembering the scene that his traumatized brain conjures up, it was his first grand prix win and Seungkwan boyfriend almost knocked it down. “second we are not doing anything. We are actually enemies” 

“Oh,” Seungkwan stops, truly stops, dropping his fork and knife, and he stares at Vernon, but Vernon knows it is not a stare, Seungkwan is analyzing Vernon like he always did. “Well, that's even worse, because when it happens - see not if, I said when it's going to be a nuclear bomb, thanks good I am not going to Spain with you and me and my lovely boyfriend will be having a few days off in Monaco so…” 

The problem was that Seungkwan was always annoyingly right. Seungkwan was right when he said Vernon's last relationship wouldn't last more than 3 months. Seungkwan was also right about Vernon's first love and second. Seungkwan had this superpower really, Seungkwan was always there to see the picture better before Vernon did.

But Vernon always just shrugged and went to his next task, now free practice. And Vernon did slightly better than he thought - 4th place. So he wasn't actually totally dejected after the press asked him about the probability of rain. Everything was fine until Vernon saw the little orange cat hiding in the corner of the Mercedes trailer.

Vernon squatted and tried to call the little kitten really, it was tiny and made Vernon's heart break a little because when the cat was approaching him Vernon saw how he was limping, front paw looking hurt. Also, the little dude looked muddy. He may hate Vernon for it, but he needed a good wash.

"Hey," You say looking at Vernon who just started stroking the orange cat fur. "I was just-" You point at the water container.

"Ah yeah," Vernon says, giving you a nod. "I was thinking of finding something so this little guy can eat but-"

"We don't know anything around, same." You say squatting on Vernon's side and putting the container on the ground, little dude giving you both a meow.

"Could we-" Vernon starts but you just cut him.

"Make a trainee do the hard work? Make them go to the nearest supermarket, " you say, laughing a little, like you laugh with others. And Vernon thinks that maybe your brain is too fast, two-step forwards already, ahead of everyone, always.

"Yeah, I was thinking about asking someone or even the Grand Prix organizers to even get a vet around. I think something is wrong with his paw." Vernon points at the cat, and he stops for a minute thinking about how he is so used to being in the paddock but not really knowing his way around it. He strokes the cat again, almost feeling the urge to pick him up and go around asking if anyone knows a vet.

"You shouldn't be touching him." You say and Vernon feels a little offended. Did you enjoy telling him what to do? Vernon could take it, he didn't like it, but when it was about the race he could take it, but about a cat? Really? "Like, for health reasons." 

"Yeah, I was thinking about taking him to the trailer, but if he has fleas, that would be a nightmare," Vernon says hand still scratching the little cat like the rebel he was. 

"Can you-" You trail off, looking around, and Vernon can almost see your brain working inside your skull.

"What?"

"Look, we have like two options.” You say getting up and fixing your pants. And Vernon thinks that Seungkwan was actually right shit, you are actually and objectively pretty. “You can be an asshole and make someone do the job just because you are throwing a i am a star fit"

"Or?"

"You could totally do your I am a heartthrob bit on the communication team newbie, she kinda has a crush on you, so she would totally find Seb a vet place. Just don't let Minghao know.” Vernon just feels like a lot of what you just said goes over his head because it really doesn’t make sense to him, Heartthrob what? Crush who? Seb? 

"Are we calling him Seb?"

"I mean he just gives me Sebastian Vettel energy all around you know, he is kind of shy and orange," you say trying not to sound dumb, feeling a little anxious - because Vernon always made you feel this way, an uneasy feeling paired with his low voice.

"Yeah, I can see that” and Vernon smiles, dude the cat really looks like Sebastian. God - in that exact moment Vernon knows that his life is fucked up, he is picking a stray cat when the next 3 weeks he will be jumping from airplane to airplane. But look at him, Vernon can't leave Seb in a freaking paddock, in the end of the week everything will be gone.

"So? Which one? I'm pretty sure we can try just telling Minho you went rogue as the third option but…"

"The heartthrob one just-" Vernon can feel his forehead itch and the beginning of a headache. He can't do a heartthrob bit. What is he talking about? "Just show me the way."

"I need your keys," you say to Vernon, hand open in his direction "First we need a box and a towel. We can't let little Seb on the loose."

"He is a little difficult, though. Pretty sure he won't stay in the box," Vernon tells you already giving you his key.

"I think I can steal a few eggs for him on the way. If they are boiled, it won't be a problem. He seems hungry enough."

And Vernon actually plays with Seb until you arrive, a box filled with Vernon's towel - probably the one he used this morning, and a plastic plate full of eggs. And then you are already dragging Vernon around to the second task - the heartthrob bit. And Vernon thinks about how quick on your feet you are - figuratively, and literally, you walk really fast. Later, you tell him that is a job thing, not a you thing. Apparently to be an F1 engineer you need to think fast, walk quickly, and solve everyone's problems.

Vernon did the heartthrob bit - it actually ended up with the newbie taking Seb to the vet, you gave her a to-do list (1 - check his paw, 2 - check for fleas, 3 - don't forget the shots!!!) and Vernon's credit card. But Vernon still with a weird taste in his mouth. How did you know the newbie had a crush on him? That's totally weird.

But hey the trainee actually found a vet, and she brings Seb back with shots and a bath. And now Vernon is staring at his cat, thinking about how if he needs to call the hotel to check about the animal policy, maybe he could do the heartthrob bit to the hotel manager. Or he could leave Seb unattended, he could eat something, chew his race boot, or - then Vernon hears a knock, which is weird of course because Vernon doesn't actually receive visits in the motor home, people know that Vernon is sensitive about that - no fans, no press, no knocking when he is in the motorhome.

"Hi," you say as soon as Vernon opens his door, "just came to see the little guy."

"Oh, yeah sure," of course it was you, the only person who doesn't actually care about Vernon’s word and maybe well-being, but Vernon kind of understands, Seb is cute, "he looks tired tho."

"It's okay, I just came to give him some love." You say one digit going between Seb’s ear, squatting on the floor, letting Seb chill in his place, "Are you going to the hotel?" 

"I don't know,” Vernon scratches his kneck because it is true, he doesn’t actually have any idea what he is about to do, maybe he can take his race boots and everything essential so Seb doesn't chew on it, "I need to go but I can’t leave him alone but also I can’t sleep on the couch, it will fuck up my neck and also can’t just not sleep."

"You can go, I can sleep here on the bed, not a problem." You say sitting on the floor, Seb little groggy but wake, you pick him up and put him on your lap, and he just purr. What the hell? His cat is purring? For another person? What?

"I can’t let you do that,” he can’t because his cat is already in love and because he also knows that his motorhome bed is just uncomfortable. 

"Don’t worry, we are just-" you say finally looking at Vernon’s eyes, "co-parenting" You say and Vernon feels like a bomb just dropped, and the whole humanity just vanished, he can hear a pin drop.

"Co-pareting? A cat?" Vernon says like his brain is not really functioning.

"Yeah Vernon,” You start, and Vernon can see a small smile across your face, “people have different family arrangements. You, me, and Seb, divorced people with a kid, it's okay." 

"Divorced?" Vernon actually lets out a laugh, a scoff really. Why are you trying to mess with him ? This is not even close to normal.

"Yeah we are not on great terms but we sacrifice for him."

Vernon leaves - not because you said he could, not because you found a solution, but because it was the right thing to do for his performance really. Vernon leaves because his neck is a prized possession, and because he needs to sleep , he needs his best reaction time. And Vernon is an athlete. People may say that driving a car is not a sport, but people don’t know how much the g-force makes his neck almost break. But when Vernon lays in bed with his special pillow, Vernon can’t actually sleep. His mind goes back to his motorhome, to his just-for-stretching bed, and never actually sleeps. His mind, Vernon finds out, is going back to you sleeping in that awful bad, to the way you treat the little cat like it can break, and the way that every time your hand goes against the cat's fur Venon can actually feel the love.

Vernon is so fucked.

He starts to think that Seungkwan is actually right.

And Vernon can't actually sleep because you are tormenting his mind and Seungkwan's voice telling him 'I told you so' echoes in his mind.

Even tho not getting the eight-hour sleep Vernon gets what his system needs to be quick on his reactions -  Wonwoo and Seungcheol actually crash in front of him, debris over his head and Vernon has control enough to just not crash in the crash in the narrows streets of Monaco. Nightmare, really. Vernon finishes in third because of it, and even tho he is in the podium, he can't actually feel happy about it.

Maybe that's really why Vernon can't have his car with a fucked up wing because it can mean life and death. Later that day he makes sure to go check with both drivers - halo is ugly as fuck but saves lives.

Vernon is thankful that he doesn't have time to actually think about life and death because you are shoving him into a funny bag and telling him to put Seb inside and telling him that you actually are about to sit next to him. So Vernon ends up with a cat bag on his lap, Seb strangely chills about everything, your hand going inside the bag just to stroke his fur.

He ends up sleeping the flight, which is only about 1h40 minutes, but Vernon feels like he needed that nap.

The perception of time in the world of F1 is really truly bizarre. Vernon is always running, always thinking about how he can go faster, even when he is doing the press talk. Minghao walks faster, and explains everything for Vernon in 3 sentences, if it is a sponsor or if it is a journalist, if he needs to actually talk about the car, or if it is a 'content' bit. 

But when Vernon is going around the paddock and see you leaning against Jeonghan smile bright and full Vernon actually stops on his track, it is late, and everything is figured out in the paddock why the hell are you and Jeonghan laughing about?

"Come on, Vern," Minghao calls him, making his neck turn. "Come on, we have three more, and if I don't arrive in time for my dinner with Mika, she is going to kill me."

So Vernon lets Minghao drag him across the paddock. But his mind is still on the scene, you leaning and smiling against Jeonghan, and Vernon doesn't want to, but he feels jealous. He wants to be Jeonghan so fucking bad.

Vernon really doesn't have much time to think about it, he needs to sleep, watch his water intake, and think about his neck - his neck is his most important body part as a f1 driver, and he did think his neck was feeling a little funny. But every time Vernon sits and has time to himself, his brain conjures the image of you and Jeonghan in his eyelid.

Vernon doesn't think it was because of his neck or because his sleep was extremely shitty but the next day, his car crashes against a brick wall. Not great. Not ideal. Not fun either. So Vernon does what he needs to do. Even if he feels fine and got out of the car on his own, he needs his trip to the hospital. Turns out a few hours later, the medical team is sure that Vernon is not dying, but he may have a concussion.

When Vernon is back in his motor home to pick Seb back to the hotel (this time he actually made sure it was okay with the hotel's policy) he founds you lying on his useless motor home bed.

"Hey," you say getting up the bed "are you okay?"

"Yeah yeah," Vernon drops his bag on the floor and sits down by your side. "Just a concussion."

"Okay," you say, looking at Vernon, like actually looking at him searching for something. "I was scared it wasn't a pretty scene, Vernon."

"I know, but I'm okay," but Vernon is so so tired, he is okay and he feels okay but he feels the urge to just lie in this horrible bed and just stay in it, he doesn’t even care about his neck really - he can call for physiotherapy or something. 

"Still, the whole team was worried, you don’t need to act like it wasn’t scary,” you say and Vernon just feels so heavy, like his whole body is made of bricks, even tho he is ok with it, he is used to it really, but the crash still takes a tool on his body "and you should have gone directly to the hotel"

"I was just picking Seb up," Vernon just lies on that horrible bed and it doesn’t really seem that bad, or he is just so tired that even lying on the floor seems like a good option now. His mind is tired too - Vernon can’t even think.

"You didn't need to do that. You could've ringed me up, you know, co-parenting,” you say, voice small, and Vernon's hazed mind almost doesn’t catch it.

"Yeah," Vernon scoffs. Really, he didn’t even think about texting you,  "I don't think I have your number"

"Oh shit," You say picking up Vernon's phone and putting it in front of his face to unlock his phone, "ok gonna save my number you need to send me Seb pics I don't think you should bring him up, we have a week off you are probably going back to England right? You should hire someone to go see him daily or-" 

Vernon just feels the urge to actually kiss you. You are just there, cat on your lap, thinking about how Vernon shouldn't bring Seb around anymore, you are so so worried about his health and if he is getting stressed, and you go on about how Vernon just needs to let him rest in his place in England even tho it would be super hard for you because you are getting used to distress, every work day you pop up in Vernon motor home to say hi to the cat - and to Vernon, it all feels like a freaking lullaby, he actually nestles himself in the bed, searching for the better position to just sleeps. 

"See," you say to Vernon when you see how dozed off he is "you never pay attention." 

"I am paying attention," Vernon answers, eyes still shut but not actually sleeping. 

"You are not. You are zoomed out," You say, lying on his side, legs dangling out of the bed.  "What were you thinking?"

"Nothing really," Vernon says because he is not really thinking about anything concrete really, his brain is all over the place.

"Vern," you actually whine, "I thought we were becoming friends parenting the same kid"

"We are becoming friends" Vernon laughs because that is weird right? “I have your phone now we are definitely friends”

"See? So tell me, what's on your mind lately?" You try again, but Vernon just hums."You seem actually stressed lately. Is Minho bothering you? I  know the results are not great, but i promise we are trying" 

"I know, I know, don't worry about that." And Vernon feels actually bad because it is the first time he can feel that you are a little guilty, no scratch that, tired? Vernon can’t really catch the feeling, but he knows that you care. 

“I am not worried about that, I care about the results but you crashed today, the med team said you may have a concussion, and I don’t know if you are just zooming out in an ok way or zooming out in a concussion-induced way.” 

“It’s not the concussion the hospital let me go, it is just, I’m just tired” Vernon feels your hand on his hair, petting him, almost like you do with Seb, and Vernon just let himself sleep feeling the affection in the way your fingers travel in his skull. 

The thing is, even when Vernon is in his house in England he doesn't really feel at home, because it is a company provided apartment, and to be fair Vernon didn't put a lot of effort in it. So in his week off Vernon tries to focus on his physical training, on his neck, on his diet, on sleeping, but every time his phone vibrates Vernon just feels giddy and excited because 80% of the time it is just you reacting to Seb's pics Vernon sent.

Vernon tries not to think about how fast you answer his messages or how sometimes you send audio snips, and Vernon doesn't feel angry - he always hated audio message god. Vernon also hated calls but one night he actually video calls you and you are already in bed but you said you wanted to say goodnight to Seb but you and Vernon spends more than an hour chatting about nothing and everything. 

When the time comes, Vernon ponders; leaving Seb behind or actually flying with the cat. So he just calls Boo Seungkwan to babysit Sebastian - the hours of flight and the jetlag would just make him stressed, even tho Vernon thinks he is the worst person ever adopting a cat to just let him stay in an empty apartment even tho Seungkwan will make sure he is eating, and Vernon actually begged 3 times to Seungkwan check Seb's litter box.

To everyone's surprise, Vernon actually gets a pole position. To be honest, even to Vernon and his team it was a surprise, too. But it was a good one. You congratulated him, and that night, you and Vernon called Seungkwan and spent like 45 minutes talking to a cat and cooing together - like parents on a holiday.

Vernon thinks it's kinda weird really - how you two fell into this dynamic of sharing a pet, and in a way, you two turned into friends too. So when Vernon is ready to get out to his car you are the last one to greet him, and Vernon is not really superstitious but he thinks he will make sure that this turns into a new team ritual.

When Vernon crosses the finish line, he feels it - the feeling that Vernon always chased in a way. When he hears the screams and laughs on his radio, he feels he can actually let go and just enjoy. He did. He won a grand prix again.

And when Vernon is showered with champagne, hears his national anthem, and jumps to the crowd he thinks about you. He tries to find you really but Minghao just directs him to the press area.

“Hey,” you say, popping your head in the door crack after knocking on his door. “Heard you were looking for me.”

“Yeah yeah.” And Vernon feels sticky. His whole body is covered in champagne. He is looking like a mess, but god, he is so so happy. “Didn’t see you in the celebration.” 

“I was around. Saw everything, don't worry" You move and close the door acting like you guys didn't accomplish the best thing in the whole world because that's how Vernon feels like he is on top of the world. 

“No no-” Vernon's smile is so big, and he touches your arms, and he actually stops, and he looks at you. “We did! We actually did it!” 

“You did it" you say almost shoving him, but Vernon's hands don't leave your arms - hot and sticky against your skin, "don't need to be humble it was a great race on your side-”

“No no no listen, we both did it. We did it together. We are sharing this," Vernon says - smile still big across his face, he is so sweaty why do you think that seeing Vernon happy is the best thing ever? “Come on, say it”

“We did it” You say smiling, not even because you are happy with his win - you are, you are happy for the team, and you are happy for Vernon, but Vernon is so happy and in a way is so infectious you just can not smile like him.

“We sure did,” and Vernon hugs you, head dropping on your shoulder, “god-”

“What?"

“You smell nice," Vernon says voice muffled.

“Thank you, you smell like really nice champagne," you say with a laugh, god Vernon is so happy, and there is only one thing that would make him happier -

"And-” He tries to master his courage to say, “and I wish I could kiss you.”

When Vernon kisses you, he almost feels the breeze, almost feeling the physical sensations that involve flying, because, in his head, he is already 10 thousand feet high. He feels so out of it that Vernon just let you take what you want for him. God, you want so much. 

Vernon can feel it. He feels in the way your fingers hold his jaw. He feels in the way your mouth goes together, like two pieces made to fit each other. He feels in the way that you react when his hands hold your hips so tightly, whimpering in his mouth.

Vernon is not one to complain about speed, but when his whole world is spinning and everything is going so fucking fast he wishes he could stop the time, make it go backward, make it go slower. 

His whole life, he fought against the clock. If he was two seconds faster if he didn't waste milliseconds in the second curve. Vernon was always running, but now, fuck Vernon wishes he could go slow.

So Vernon chooses to take his time, not hurry. He kisses you slowly. The way that he trails his lips against your jaw is slow, and the way that his hands travel to your ribcage is slow.

"Vernon," you try to call his attention, to make him hurry, to make him speed up, but the only thing that Vernon gives you is a non-committal noise.

And Vernon thinks you are in a fucking trailer, with a not-great bed, and he has one better - bigger and with his trusted neck pillow but everything just shatters when someone knocks on his door.

And when Vernon opens the door and sees Minghao he thinks two things: Minghao is his worst enemy really, Minghao must hate him. The second one? Vernon asks himself how many wins he needs in his career to do a contract clause saying he is never doing press again, if someone asks him to do an interview or youtube content he is allowed to change teams before the end of his contract.

Vernon goes back to everything needs to move fast behavior. You two jump on a plane, and again, Vernon has his week off - while you need to go to Austria to check everything related to the engineering team. So when Vernon arrives and Seb purrs against his leg, he films it and sends it to you. When Vernon is chilling on his bed and Seb acts like Vernon's body is his personal pillow, he films it and sends it to you. When you say you are crying because you miss the cat, Vernon calls you and says you can knock on his door anytime. 

When Vernon arrives in the paddock the first thing he does is ask Jun where you were - meeting room, you had a meeting with Jeonghan and Minho, but when Vernon knocks on the door you are alone.

"You really did it." It's the first thing you say to Vernon.

"Yeah" He shrugs. "it was a promise."

"It looks good on you," you say, sitting in front of him at the table, hand touching Vernon’s hair, feeling the urge to ruffle it. 

"So, like, my last meal was airplane food, so I was thinking about taking you to dinner," Vernon says, and you just think how it is unfair that even tho he is not conscious of it, he is doing the heartthrob thing, the lazy eyes, the small smile, the unkept hair - now blonde.

"Hm-" you try your best to not just throw your papers and forget you have an actual job just because Vernon smiled at you, "I don't know if I am free, actually Minho was talking about going over the strategy with you so-"

"Yeah? Ok, I can call him and say the airplane gave me a headache so," Vernon picks his phone up and starts typing something, "I don't know Austrian food that well but we can always go to an Italian."

"Italian, I prefer Italian," you say, chin resting on your hand and just admiring Vernon. You are pretty sure if you were a cartoon, they would draw you with heart eyes.

"Nice."

You let Vernon wine and dine you. The restaurant was nice, and it was even nicer that you and Vernon sat side by side in low light, and you can just rest your head on his shoulder because you were truly tired and because every time you did that you could actually sniff Vernon a bit, and he smells so so good. 

You guys just chat about everything, and at some point, Vernon actually unlocks his phone and just lets you browse his gallery (90% of it is Seb's pics or videos, and the other 10% were the pics you sent him about your day - a coffee, a building, anything silly that made you smile), and looking at it made your heart melt.

In a silent agreement, you just hop in Vernon's Uber and end up on his hotel bed, with Vernon on top of you. 

Vernon kisses you slowly like he has all the time in the world - and you are weak enough for him, so you don't complain, you don't hurry him. To be honest you don't want him to hurry either, you are enjoying the way Vernon is nested between your legs, the way you can feel his weight on your body, and the way that his hands feel against your neck.

The way Vernon touches you makes you feel treasured, makes your heart full, and makes you want to make him feel the same way, and you try your best.

You try when your hands travel to his biceps, squeezing it the way his hands tighten against your hips. You try when your hand goes through his hair when he kisses your neck. You try when Vernon's hands travel under your shirt and you kiss his cheeks because it's the only place you reach.

Vernon doesn't think, and he doesn't try. He just does, and he accepts what you give him.

When Vernon outright grinds on you and you whimper, Vernon accepts it. When your hands claw at his shirt, he accepts, and when he gets off, you take his shirt off and see you doing the same. Vernon thinks that maybe you gonna give him more than he can take.

You don't rush him, you let Vernon watch you, but you feel rushed, so you get up as well, mouth. chasing Vernon's while you take off your bra. 

The way Vernon holds you makes your mind spin. The way his firm body feels against yours, and how his hands feel against your back. And even though you try, Vernon still kisses you slowly.

Vernon holds you when he makes you lie on the bed, "baby lemme just-" he says, giving your hips a small kiss, and opening the button of your pants, when he takes your pants off you can feel his digits traveling against your leg and you are sure he can feel the goosebumps on your skin.

Vernon's fingers close against your ankle, and Vernon brings it against his mouth, "Vern " you try to call him, and you feel dumb enough that you just beg. And Vernon kisses you again, one hand on your chest and the other grabbing your hips.

And you think you can take slow when Vernon is on top of you, legs tangled, his lips now on your neck. Every time your hips move together Vernon hums against your skin and you wish he was naked already. But when Vernon's lips find your chest you can't really complain because you feel so lost, he takes one of your nipples in your mouth, and he gives attention to the other one too, taking your nipple between two fingers and toying with it

When Vernon releases your breast with a pop you remember to call him, "Vern please"

"What?" He says hands toying with your panty line, digits hot against your hips.

"Your pants," you say, feeling your mouth dry, body buzzing.

"Oh right," Vernon says and you already feel remorseful when Vernon detaches his body from yours. 

You try to reach Vernon with your hands, palms against his skin, on his chest, on his abs, on his thighs. Everywhere - trying to placate the lack of the feeling of his body against yours. 

When Vernon finishes getting his pants off he holds your head, hand against your nape and jaw and he kisses you, and you feel a little better thinking he suffered like you did in those milliseconds that your bodies have been apart from each other.

And Vernon did, and when he stops to look at you, to really look, tracing his thumb against your mouth and you open just enough for your tongue to lap at his digit Vernon thinks he is going crazy. 

God, you are just so pretty on his bed, hair messy, trails of his kiss against your skin. Vernon knows he is so fucking lucky, and if he could he would stop the time, he would treasure every second - he would go so fucking slow he would make the clock go backward. You, however, don't really care, you just touch Vernon, hand under his underwear giving his dick a few pumps while Vernon's hands leave an imprint on your ribcages.

Vernon helps you a little, one hand on your hips and another one lowering his underwear, his dick finally free. When Vernon looks down, he can see how red his skin is - a blush coloring his chest, he can also see how your thumb just goes smoothly against his cockhead and Vernon thinks he might go insane.

"Do you need to-" Vernon asks while trying to return the feeling, hand going to your clothed pussy, pressing against it and making you whimper.

"No, no, I am ok," You say, almost in a way to make Vernon hurry up, "You can just fuck me."

"Yeah yeah ok," Vernon says, and you can feel the way his dicks enters you while Vernon's tongue lick his lips.

Vernon fucks you slowly, body pressed against yours, one of his hands holding your head - almost pressing you against his, his lips never leaving your cheek. And it is almost excruciating - the way Vernon fucks you, so slowly and yet so fucking good.

You try to tell him in the way your hands hold his neck, the way you feel his shoulder blades under your hands, the way you want to touch the expanses of his back. 

It's good, and you could live like that - in Vernon's warm embrace. But you are feeling desperate enough so you just beg, "Vern, faster", and not a second late Vernon is fucking you harder. He picks himself up, knees on the bed, holding your legs on the side of his waist. And god he hits you so deep, you just need a little more.

"Fuck you are so hot," Vernon says almost there when he sees your hand toying with your clit.

"I am so close," You say to him and you can feel how his hands tighten against your thighs, how he picks up his pace, how he fucks you harder.

And then it washes over you, and it hits Vernon - because of the way he continues to fuck you after it, but then you can feel his body against yours, his mouth chasing yours, and you just laugh between kisses because yeah, Vernon is a lazy kisser, that just how he is, but goddamn you love it.

In that weekend Vernon makes a ritual of kissing you, he kisses you every time he can really, but he makes a point of stealing a kiss before the free practice - in his motorhome. He does it again before the race, he ends up in second place. He kisses you again when you jump at him saying that he is the best - and he wants to argue because he just ended in second place, but it's you so he just takes it.

When Vernon is showered, clean, and not sticky from champagne he sees you sleeping in his horrible motorhome bed, and he just can't let you - you guys have a flight to catch.

"Hey, come on let's go home, Seb is missing you," Vernon says trying to wake you up.

[thelikesoffinn]

Bro why do u hate ascended Asterion so much? He's still asterion

Would you believe me if I told you that I actually don't hate ascended Astarion? Because I really don't!

Now, do I think it's a sad ending? Yes, yes I do. But do I hate it? Absolutely not.

Quite the opposite, actually. I do like the ascended ending for what it is - the bad ending. It's really really well written and I do enjoy it in it's own special way. What I don't like, however, is the attitude a lot of people face it with.

This entire 'ascension is the best ending for him' and 'it's the right choice for him, even if it isn't good'. 'not letting him ascend is selfish because that is what he wants!', 'he still loves you after ascension' and 'he's still the same, just strong' is what I dislike.

Like, if you're into that ending and you prefer it for some reason, that's totally cool, but claiming this is the best ending for him? Damn, that hurts my heart and my soul.

Why I can't even say. Maybe it's because of who I am - both a social worker and a child raised by abusive, narcissistic parents - but to me it's glaringly obvious what ascension will cost him. It's so clear what he is giving up and WHY he is giving it up because, in my own way, I've been there myself. And I've worked with people who've been there as well. (Less murderous, obviously, but equally as self-destructive!)

And because I've been there - on both sides, his and Tav's - I know that none of that will be necessary if there's one person next to him that says 'Hey. Astarion, I know you're hurting but...you don't need to run and hide anymore. You're free and...you're enough.'

So everytime someone claims that ascension is the best ending for him, that it's his good ending and that not letting him ascend is the selfish thing to do, oh boy. It really grinds my gears!

But, in the end, I don't hate the ascended ending at all.

If we're talking companion-endings that I hate, I'd personally propose Karlach choosing death, actually! Because that? That's just unnecessarily dumb.

I know she doesn't want to go back and I know why, I really do, but the thing is...It won't be like before. Things have already changed and they will keep on changing from now on. She's a different Karlach already, so the change is unavoidable! I mean, she's not working for Zariel anymore and, even more importantly: She won't be alone! She has friends now, actual friends that would definitely accompany her if she asked them to. Shit, Wyll even offers it up on his own without being asked! She can come back to the surface from time to time, because it seems like her heart can take periods outside of Avernus as long as she returns once it get's bad. Like, shit, make the House of Hope your homebase, girl! Granted, Hope is a bit ditzy but I'm sure she'll be a joy to be around! And it doesn't even need to be forever! Like, come on, we're already trying to make sure that a fucking vampire can walk in the sun without the use of a tadpole or ascension, I'm sure we can all pencil in 'find a new heart for babygirl' or whatever. And there's Dammon!!! Dammon is smart and talented and unnecessarily handsome and lovable, so he'll surely find a way to fix that darn engine as long as she's alive!

So yeah, that's an ending I actually do hate! Maybe because it feels like conversations I have with clients all the time - scared people and people with trauma can be so extremely stubborn, believe it or not - so it just hits a nerve, haha.

(Oh and I also hate Lae'zel's ascension. The girl is so smart and still doesn't notice how full of shit Vlaakith is? Nah, that's just heresy, I won't accept that one. I know loyalty and morals are a thing, but still no. Blegh.)

[grif-hawaiian-rolls]

@leonardalphachurch ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE (in reference to this post)

Donut thinks his fursona is a red wolf, all handsome charm and roguish double’o’donut vibe but NO he’s a collie to me, specifically a rough/scots collie— he’s pretty he’s fluffy, he does good work but theres nothing behind those eyes affectionately. Also he likes to be told when he’s a good boy DOING A GOOD JOB

Grif… would not make a fursona for himself, but I think Kai makes one for him a-la garfield (fat orange cat) and he appreciates the Iconic humor of it at least and u know what i do think kai is right in the cat aspect but more maine coon less garfield (still fat tho /pos)- the kind of big lazy cat that make you do a double take bc like is that a big house cat or a bobcat, ya know?

Simmons does not Want a Fursona thank you very much he’s not Weird (tm) I'm telling you, he is a chihuahua. Puntsized ball of anxiety that bites and thinks its meaner than he is(but still pretty capable of being a mean little bastard, just,, not as big of one as he thinks)

Sarge Knows his fursona is a bald eagle. Bc its American. Patriotic! Sounds like a red hawk! Even better! He’s a pitbull— big brick of a head, mean reputation, but he’s a protective kind of caring at heart and u know he’s got that Iconic pittie grin

Lopez is hard, honestly, and if you asked him youd either get No Answer, or something thrown at you i think but like his fursona is like transformer mech bullshit that no one ever wants to draw and if you commissioned it you get like 20+ complex design additional charges because the rivets have to be 100% accurate and if they arent he would Know, its not even a fursona really at this point its just a cool mech body he wont ever build bc he doesnt trust anyone else to not fucking break it but emotionally its his fursona - the fursona I assign him is a remote control warthog, bc im sorry dude but i cannot give you a proper fursona to save my life my brain just refuses to do it so, goofy shit it is

SHEILA is, wonderfully, a sea turtle. Specifically i’m partial to a leatherback for her just for the scale factor alone but just the vibe in general of just,, seat turtle fits her idk how to describe it. In character, i do think she would misunderstand the assignment and just be like “oh! Im a Scorpion” bc thats the casual term for the M808B main battle tank in halo

Church(A), like simmons, REFUSES to even Consider it (epsilon considers it a Lot okay, theta’s got some cool design concepts but keep it on the dl bud) but i think he’s gotta be idog from the early 2000s. But like an edgy one the kind that were born of 12 yearolds traced over google images of the normal ones and recolored into Original Characters (i think their shape is based on beagles iirc??? Or labs), but yeah those things. If pressed, epsilon auto answers wolf but in that asshole way that sounds like he’s being a dick about it but no thats his actual answer

Caboose is a great dane. He’s just Great like that!! Yay! Friend shaped, really not used to being uhh mindful of his size and strength but loyal and protective ya know?? He's the only one who i think would correctly clock his own fursona on the first try

Tex would claim something badass like a tiger or something, but she’s like,,, a mockingbird :) i mean it IS the state bird of texas, and well... shes not a mockery of anything but she isnt the og either, ya know

Tucker claims a fox, because he’s sly and bitches Love foxes but to me?? Bluejay. Brightly colored, loud, mean little corvid asshole. Too damn clever for his own good- i would also maybe give him peacock or kingfisher if feeling more like,, flamboyant but he just feels very jay to me. maybe its the corvid bastard thing, or the bluejay in my backyard choosing the tree by my window as prime screaming spot for 6 am yelling for like a month but the vibe is there

Kai has so many furry characters. With the worst application of color theory known to man but somehow it works for her brand??? Sparkle dogs man, the woman is made for making sparkle dogs!! If i assign her cat to match grif, it'd specifically the kind of like bengal, this cat climbs walls kind of cat you know?? Zoomies all day every day! BUt i think more accurately to Kai as a person? Raccoon. Mischief and little grabby bastard hands and she would love it

Washington, if asked would shrug and say probably a cat bc u know, nine lives and all that- no. Im sorry cat wash truthers I respect cat wash, but nah Washington is a dog boy to me im sorry and specifically he’s a little Jack Russell terrier thats fast and vicious but man sometimes u gotta remember he’s like,,, he’s smaller than a cat man you gotta give him some help ya know?? Dont make him do it alone!!!

.......Or a horse i dont know how to elaborate on that one just,,, trust me

Carolina is oblivious to the concept of fursonas almost entirely, but she’s a greyhound and you know im right

Locus is genuinely the hardest one to place and i dont think he’d come up with a fursona for himself, but he gets assigned wolf by Donut i feel it, the whole lone wolf thing he has going and all during his redemption! Which honestly???? Maybe yeah? An argument could be made for another working dog (HELLO German Shepards my god) (context here: i had a german shepard/corgi mix, he was my lil guy, he was too damn smart for his own good and patrolled the back yard fence up until he couldnt keep his hips underneath himself anymore and then! He! kept! trying! So yes that does influence my input on german shepard locus) i just struggle to see locus as a dog???? Dogs are very high energy which -gestures to red team- but locus rarely has that same baseline energy i associate with dogs??? He’s hard to pin down and i’ve yet to manage it but im partial to something arboreal,,, the first thing that comes to mind on that train of thought is a binturong and i lost it imagining that so sure we'll go with that i have a lot of thoughts about locus

Felix wouldve loved the energy of being like the lucky cat with nine lives. I personally dont care for felix, but he would be that guy with like, its not a proper fursona bc he wouldnt b caught dead calling it that, but he has a fursona for scamming people and driving up the prices on auctions for no reason other than to fuck with people when he's bored. I subscribe to weasel/ferret Felix personally, specifically a yellow bellied weasel bc theres just,, honestly the name amuses me with the implications. He’s difficult to catch and handle, energetic and gets into shit no one wants him getting to. It fits

Doyle is a mouse, maybe MAYBE a rabbit, he doesnt know what fursonas are either but he just checks the mouse box for me personally,, very holdable, but skittish and might still bite you if u scare him bad enough

Dr Emily Grey does not have a fursona but she does think theyre neat and has let her patients all give her one, tho none of them agree on what she is. I think she's a shrike, specifically a great grey shrike! they're VICIOUS little birds, who dont look like much but they regularly hunt shit twice their size and are also known for impaling bugs on thorns and like, barbed wire?? theyre neat, and technically i think they count as corvids? clever little hunting machines

Kimball is definitely a german shepard tho like while im on the fence about it for Locus, there is no question about it for her she checks the boxes fits the vibe right down to the way she guards the new republic and chorus with her heart just under her sleeve

Sharkface. Shark. I mean….really. SPECIFICALLY THO a tiger shark tho, and he would absolutely be a dick if you implied a great white or a megalodon would be “better” bc no tiger sharks are exactly the kind of shark he should be thank you VERY much

thats everyone i have STRONG fursona assignment feelings for, and some are more flexible than others or more solid in some cases but YEAH! i think about this shit. a lot sidebar: i think the chorusans who know and are open about fursonas would probably use weird alien animals from chorus when picking them which makes this harder for them specifically bc the ones who would have fursonas arent limited to earth animals

all images are from the wiki pages for the animals! except for lopez. thats from the amazon page for the warthog

[tgmsunmontue]

Caring, Keeping and Collecting Transformers - A Guide 7/?

Maverick is unknowingly surrounded by Transformers. He knows something is up though. Just not quite what it is exactly.

Bradley and Jake, having never met, are embarking on their own journeys and will have to learn to deal with the fact that they've both been adopted by Transformers.

Despite having years more experience, Maverick is no help at all.

ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX

SEVEN

                Jake hasn’t been this amused in years, watching a guy he barely knows reem out a sulking Transformer who could probably kill him if he had half a mind to. Except the Bronco is looking suitably chastised, but even his clear remorse hasn’t stopped Bradley’s rant. Guy has some lungs on him and Jake doesn’t want to get on his bad side. Although he is kind of hot when he’s angry. Hmm. Interesting. He’ll consider that more later. In private.

                Jake has to admit he’s impressed with Starscream’s restraint and he sidles up to him, wants to ask why he didn’t just bop the smaller blue car on the nose and lay him flat, because he’s sure that the much larger Transformer is more than capable of holding his own if it came down to a fist fight.

                “I promised I’d remain neutral,” Starscream states, lips twisting in distaste and Jake raises his eyebrows at that.

                “Even if the little blue-truck-that-could managed to take a swipe at you?”

                “He can certainly try…”

                Jake grins at the dry tone and he likes Starscream’s attitude, wonders if it’s weird that he considers a robot a friend after only a few days.

                “The tall one, is he important?”

                “Admiral Kazansky? Yeah… I guess. He’s definitely the highest rank here, and he already knew about you guys existing, so he’s probably got quite high security clearance… oh shit. I’m going to need to be briefed or get told secret shit. They better not stop me from flying.”

                “I can always fly you.”

                “No! I want to fly my own damn plane,” Jake snaps.

                “Then we can fly together,” Starscream states and Jake’s jaw drops open.

                “Holy shit. We could. That would be cool. You said Jetfire was a plane as well. We can all fly together…”

                “That is my hope.”

…            …            …

                “I really need a fucking drink,” Bradley mumbles to himself, and he has no clue where he’s even going to be sleeping tonight, but he’s sent his car to the other end of the runway to cool off and have some time out and think about whether he can play nicely with the others. As he runs that thought through his head again he feels the early onset of a headache, new appreciation for his parents and also both Mav and Ice. He searches Ice out to find him on the phone and also rubbing his temple like he’s also warding off an impending headache.

                “You okay?” Bradley ask and Jake startles a little and blinks, like his mind was somewhere else.

                “Yeah, I’m good. Just been a very long couple of days and I don’t think the next few days are going to get any easier.”

                “You’ve probably got a point. At least we have Ice to deal with the brass. It’s not like they can put a gag order on us or take the Transformers away from us. Not if it’s us they want to be with…”

                He’s hit then with the realization that Bronco chooses to be with him, and he suddenly views all the times he’s had Bronco there, ready to pick him up. The music. The lack of buying gas. The loyalty. Of course there are also the times he’s refused to start for anyone and everyone else, but if he considers Bronco as a younger Transformer maybe that’s on par with a toddler’s temper tantrum, or teenage sulkiness. Regardless Bronco wants him and okay, Bradley can deal with that. Slaps Jake on the shoulder and heads off down the runway for yet another talk, and also, this time, an apology.

…            …            …

                Tom looks at Hound, and then Bronco off at the far end of the runway where Bradley has sent him to have a weird sort of time-out. Then he looks at the Kawasaki which is currently taller than Mav and is crouched beside him and discussing something about one of the normal bikes and he blinks, realizes that the only mode of transport available to them right now that isn’t a Transformer is a large slightly delipidated horse truck with maybe three seats. Maybe.

                He has strict orders to bring in all the humans tomorrow morning at ten-hundred, and then the further expectation to bring everyone out here. He’s lucky they’ve been given that much time, but he knows they’ll be mad scrambling on the other end, drawing up paperwork and flying in others that will no doubt want to grill them all. They’ll be separated and interviewed, and he needs to prepare them all for it. Weirdly he trusts that Bradley and Seresin will be fine, they have nothing to cover up. Maverick on the other hand is going to be a potential problem. The higher ups are definitely going to have an issue with him suddenly being in the know, despite the fact he has a small army of Transformers at his disposal and apparently has a natural gift for working on them.

                Fan-fucking-tastic.

…            …            …

                Admiral Kazansky has shared the news with them that they’re all expected to report tomorrow and Jake balks a little. He’s on leave, he didn’t bring uniform with him. This is not how he expected his leave to go. Not that he was hoping for anything exciting, but he’d sort of hoped he wouldn’t be bored and now he’s wondering if he maybe somehow jinxed himself. They’re now trying to work out the logistics of reporting to base tomorrow and Bradley has his gear in the back of Bronco, ready to go.

                “You could stay in the truck with me,” Jake offers, and he knows he’s pulling a face. Because it smells of horses and hay if he’s being generous, and if he’s going to share a sleeping space with a good looking guy he’d like it to not be the back of a horse truck. Even if he has no chance he can still dream. And he hasn’t forgotten about how good Bradley looks when he’s angry.

                “There’s a trailer in the hangar,” Captain Mitchell offers, like it’s a competition and Jake frowns, immediately wants to somehow sweeten the offer of the horse truck, but offering a handjob probably wouldn’t go over so well.

                “Stop being ridiculous. We’ll stay at the house.”

                “Oh.”

                “Yeah. That makes sense.”

                Just like that there is no further argument, and Jake has to say a proper bed and hot shower do sound really good. Even a cold shower would be welcome right now, given how dirty he’s feeling. Admiral Kazansky is looking at Starscream like he’s trying to figure out what to do with him and it makes his skin prickle with unease, but then Sally is letting out a deep sigh.

                “He can stay. If you take Hound and Bronco with you things will settle. Or I will make them settle,” she says and Admiral Kazansky nods appreciatively. Jake is reminded that while Sally may give off old matriarch vibes, old matriarchs get old for reasons like being very difficult to kill and also generally ruling the people under them with an iron fist. Admiral Kazansky then moves to sit in the driver’s seat of the army jeep and he doesn’t look overly happy about it. About as happy as Bronco is about having Jake riding with him, although he at least seems glad to be leaving Starscream behind.

                “I will see you tomorrow,” Starscream says, and he holds his fist out and Jake looks at it, looks up at Starscream and then reaches out and gives him a fist bump.

…            …            …

                He knew Pete would be the most problematic, and what irks him is that he’s not even trying to be annoying. It just comes so easily to him, taking to effort at all to put Tom’s brain into a tailspin.

                “Oh, I’m bringing Dustdrift home with me.”

                “You’re not taking a Hoover on the back of your bike!” Tom snaps and Maverick grins.

                “I don’t need to. Dustdrift can just fly after me!” Mav says and he’s almost vibrating with excitement and Tom wonders if he should seriously consider retirement. But who would get Mav out the messes he either creates or finds himself in? Sli only keeps tabs on Mav for the entertainment value, not for any altruistic reason.

                “Fine. Just… don’t get seen I guess?”

                “I think Dustdrift has superior camouflage capabilities.”

                “Of course they do,” Tom mutters

…            …            …

                He remembers the way to Ice’s house, and he’s glad he doesn’t need to concentrate on driving, that Bronco would no doubt find the way there without him paying attention anyway. He hasn’t had time to process everything, the fact that Mav only pulled his papers because his mom asked. He doesn’t like it, but he also knows that when Mav gives someone his word he holds fast to it. It’s just shit that Bradley’s dream of going to USNA was collateral damage, especially as he’s never giving up flying. Mav can’t stop him, and the United States Navy isn’t about to stop him either. They’ve sunk too much money into his training to let him go. He’s not stupid.

                He takes his shoes off and lines them up carefully, making a face at Jake who follows his example with a raised eyebrow. It’s just that way it is in Ice’s house. He hikes his duffle offer his shoulder, knows he’s going to have to iron his uniform tonight. Jake has an overnight bag in his hands, no sign of his uniform, and Bradley wonders exactly how Ice and Mav are going to handle this.

                “I have two guest rooms…” Ice states, waving a hand towards the stairs and Bradley knows he means for Jake to take one and Bradley the other, his mind clearly focused on meeting a range of Transformers rather than the fact that he’s meant to be keeping his relationship with Maverick a secret as well. What a tangled web we weave springs to mind, a poem his mom used to recite, a fact he finds incredibly ironic right now.

                “Uh, Bradley and I can share a room sir.”

                Bradley crosses his arms and looks between Mav and Ice, still not ready to just forgive the years of hurt. He understands Bronco’s loyalty more now, his anger on Bradley’s behalf. He could make all the awkwardness go away, but this is their bed, literally, and they can fucking lie in it. Or not, as the case may be.

                “Thank you Lieutenant, that’s appreciated,” Ice says, and there’s a twitch in his jaw and Bradley wonders if he should give them some time to hide all the incriminating evidence of his and Mav’s relationship.

                “We’ll take the room at the back with the ensuite,” Bradley says, throwing them a bone, because it’s the bedroom furthest from theirs, and with an ensuite they’re less likely to bump into each other in the middle of the night and have to explain… well, anything. “Come on Jake.”

                “I’ll order some food. You boys alright with Thai?” Mav calls out and he reminds himself that Mav isn’t deliberately trying to annoy him by calling him a boy. It’s just a turn of phrase no matter how annoying he finds it. Bradley calls out in the affirmative, and Jake follows him, although he adds a thank you sir which he guesses is respectful at least.

                “So… Was that weird? It felt weird,” Jake says, and Bradley lets out a sharp huff, annoyed and amused in equal measure.

                “What about today hasn’t been weird?”

                “Yeah. I guess you’re right.”

EIGHT

[fictionfixations]

masquerade malleus vignette

(spoilers for glorious masquerade)

aww

i refuse to believe lilia is oblivious enough not to notice that they dont like his cooking

..although solomon (from obey me) doesnt notice either iirc, but i mean..

..sebek. in a vignette, you literally got his help in cleaning a stain from malleus' labcoat???

...i never thought id hear azul say those words.... what?????

i dont know how it didnt hit me until now but the only reason rollo's plan in glorious masquerade failed was because he was so insistent on having malleus there and taking away all his power and shit?? like. cause. none of us had enough magic to actually overpower the fire lotuses(? i cant remember what they were called), although yuu would be able to make it through with no magic how could we even fight rollo at the end??

and at the point it reaches malleus and he could do something about it, it'd be too late?? because i REALLY doubt he has enough to reach all of those flowers and with enough to completely fry them out. and i doubt the bell would reach it by then.

silver...

is azul even human?? im like pretty sure-ish he's not human. not even half human. just entirely sea creature with a human-like body to probably be treated more normally and not hunted for sport/food through evolution shit idfk (like. idk im pretty sure its a thing where pets look so much cuter to cause us to take them in and shit.)

anyway im just imagining sebek talking azul's ear off about how great malleus is because he finally has a buddy who understands and therefore would be willing to listen to him talk for hours straight about malleus's greatness. AND APPRECIATE IT. HAUIHDSUIhd and azuls just like ………………….. floyd and jade laughing at him from a distance azul sets sebek on them like 'i think those two should come to learn about malleus's brilliance, don't you think? after all, as my colleagues, it is such a shame that they don't share my admiration for malleus, and i am unsure how to put it into words, as malleus himself is so magnificent that even words fail to describe him properly. so sebek, my fellow appreciator, would you lend me your aid in helping them grow to appreciate his brilliance?' okay i ran out of words and started repeating them because ic ant be bothered to look up for synonyms, im not THAT into it okay

ahhh so it is a fleur city song i wasnt sure. ive read in fics that it was, but it was also those fics where songs either have power, or yuu knows a bunch of disney songs that are considered 'forbidden/forgotten songs' or something like that and i cant remember which it was

actually if they put in all that work beforehand i think i get why they were so insistent on waiting for rollo to either confess or not AFTER the social ball and after they left and everything LMFAO

they suddenly changed into their school uniforms (still in diasomnia)

i honestly wouldnt know if id trust lilia that much but sure (i hope it doesnt turn to perfectionism levels tho)

first time we encounter italicized text i think. huh.

lmfao

oh my god (no but why choose idia at that point?? is it cuz his voice meshes well with them??)

ayoo its playing the make a wish (i think thats what the song is called) instrumental in the bg ive heard it way too many times not to recognize it (and sung along. its so fucking cool)

damn

my hands are actually protesting now ah geez (i took a break)

I GOT SO DISTRACTED BY DEUCE (i was re-experiencing enjoying looking at everyones costumes again) I AM AN IDIOT (its lower in opacity to show you that you're on it in the editor)

ooh

i didnt notice the insert paragraph im sorry lMFAO but id forget if i didnt SS it then

ooh some malleus riddle bonding

AH ITS A YUU JUMPSCARE

that seriously startled me like suddenly i just hear footsteps and then BOOM OPTIONS

ayooo malleus and yuu dancing

(alsoo yuu and deuce dancing :D)

WOOO

okay. now.

i feel like. im doing really good progress tackling all the vignettes (currently in EN. after that's GloMas, & Book 6 and 7. ive been avoiding it because not all of the Backgrounds exist, and GloMas has options with completely different dialogue which I can't see them all. i have three different videos of GloMas gameplay but they dont show all options...). all thats remaining is azul's tsumsitter (i have a vid of his vignette. ..i just dont like doing the tsum ones because i never know how to describe the tsum moving) vil birthday bloom (i FOUND A VIDEO finally oh my god. i love doing birthday vignettes) malleus dorm uniform (I have a vid) sebek new year (i have a vid) grim labcoat (i have a vid)

and then the rabbit costume ones which all of them have vignettes iirc and i have videos for all of them (i actually just found them as i was writing this. thank you god. they have no views tho geez. wonder if that means vil birthday bloom exists in a video but just wont appear. this is future me. ...i have been blessed with vil birthday bloom.)

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

I thought up a few of ideas for you to pick from for your birthday writing thing. Happy early birthday, btw!

1. Stede wants Ed to top him, so they go shopping for a strap-on and have so much fun choosing a dildo to go in it. It has to satisfy both of them because Stede will be penetrated by it, and it's going to be like an extension of Ed's body, so he has to like the shape and it has to be as close to his skin tone as possible.

2. Stede going down on Ed and after he comes, Stede comes up with his mouth and chin covered in Ed's slick and he kisses him to let him taste himself.

3. Ed and Stede trying anal for the first time. This idea has been living rent free in my head since I read the double penetration chapter of Eight Nights. Ed has been reluctant to try it because he's had bad experiences with it in the past, but now that he knows he's completely safe with Stede, he's willing to revisit it.

4. Taking turns licking sweet treats off each other.

Lovely! I chose the first prompt!

It was a damn fine idea.

Ed could admit, honestly, that when Stede had first brought up the idea of Ed topping, he’d been skeptical. It was okay to experiment, and of course he wanted to have fun and make Stede feel good, but Ed knew what he liked, y’know?

But then they’d started really talking about it, and the idea that you could top and still be the submissive one in bed started to sound very fucking alluring. They talked about getting him a chest harness and handcuffs to match the strap-on harness so he could be tugged around easily and manhandled, talked about Stede making him beg for permission to make him feel good. Even the idea of Ed not being able to get direction stimulation from the strap was damn enticing when they talked about how they’d be able to have scenes where Stede could pretend to just be using Ed’s body for his pleasure, and he could suck the strap and talk about how well Ed was fucking him while completely ignoring Ed’s cock and holes.

Yeah. Sounded like a hell of a lot of fun.

They got Ed’s harness first - soft purple leather with the cutest black lacey trim, with the matching chest harness and handcuffs, just like they talked about, and Ed was excited…

Until they visited the couple of tiny sex toy stores in their city and discovered their dildo options were extremely limited.

They bought most of their toys online, but this was going to be Stede’s first time seriously playing around with being penetrated, and he really wanted to look at the selection in person. Ed was admittedly a bit of a size queen, and Stede had balked at most of the dildos in Ed’s collection. Even playing around with Ed’s toys, they’d found they just had very different tastes.

Plus…if Ed was going to be wearing it, if he was going to be fucking Stede, he wanted the cock he was fucking him with to feel like his, and all of their local shops just had generic white dick options.

So they did some research, and they found a huge sex toy store a couple hours away. They decided to make a whole day out of it, going shopping and having a nice dinner before heading back home and hopefully putting their new toy to good use.

They were both bouncy with excitement when they finally got there and made a beeline straight for the selection of strap-on compatible dildos.

Ed was, immediately, a bit overwhelmed with his options. And Stede was not helping.

“Ed, holy shit,” he breathed, pointing around the racks of tastefully boxed dildos. “That one’s purple! That one vibrates! That one has glitter!”

It would be kinda cool to have a glittery dick, Ed had to admit.

“Okay, breathe, babe,” Ed said, putting a hand on Stede’s arm to stop him from immediately grabbing a dozen boxes off the shelves. “Let’s narrow this down, yeah?”

They immediately learned that they had different preferences for dildo textures. Ed was a bit sensitive, admittedly, and he liked for his dildos to be made with a softer silicone, so they would stretch him out without ever being uncomfortable. Stede, though, really liked that ache of initial penetration, and wanted his to be firmer.

When it came to length, Stede decided he wanted something average. He didn’t like his toys as big as Ed did, and he wanted something that would be easy to ride without feeling overwhelming.

So, with that in mind…

“I think I want something close to my skin color,�� Ed decided, moving towards the selection of natural-colored toys. The idea of being able to look down and see a dick that looked like his wasn’t just affirming, it was hot as hell, and he loved the idea of it.

They giggled through finding the right shade range, Ed feeling a bit like he was testing makeup colors as they held the boxes next to his arms to gauge how close the tones were. Ed’s skin color was a bit tricky, they quickly learned, because there were a lot of dildos that were way too light and a lot that were way too dark.

“Aha!” Stede declared, loudly enough that someone browsing further down the aisle gave them a dirty look. He pointed to a range of dildos. “I think this is our Goldilocks zone, right here.”

“Just right,” Ed said dreamily, nudging Stede lightly with his elbow.

Now…which one?

Ed inspected a few boxes. “Do you want one that vibrates?”

“No,” Stede decided after a moment of contemplation. “I’d like it to just feel like…you. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah,” Ed said, trying to hide how he was suddenly a bit choked up. “I’m sorry that I can’t -”

“Oh, love, hey, no,” Stede gasped, pulling Ed into his arms. “You’ve done nothing wrong, sweet man, nothing at all. Your body is perfect. Absolutely perfect.”

“Sorry,” Ed snuffled, burying his nose under Stede’s jaw. “Wish I could do this for you for real.”

“No need for apologies,” Stede told him firmly, kissing his forehead. “You will be doing it for real. There’s no way we could ever have sex that wouldn’t be real. I love everything about you, Ed. Your dick very much included.”

Well. Stede did demonstrably love Ed’s dick, frequently and with great enthusiasm.

Alright. Ed rubbed at his eyes, pulling back to look at the selection. A firmer one, he remembered, not too long…

He wrinkled his nose at the first box he picked. The dildo was fine, close enough to his skin color, but he didn’t like the bulbous head or how prominent the veins were. On anyone else, it would be a perfectly handsome dick, but it didn’t feel like his.

He thought they saw it at the same time.

“That one,” Stede breathed, the instant Ed picked it up.

This was it. This one was Ed’s. The dildo matched his skin tone very well, a bit skinnier but on the longer end of what Stede was comfortable with. It was cut, with a nice curve and a blush to the head that was somehow cute.

“Perfect,” Ed decided, adding to the box to their basket (Stede hadn’t been able to resist the orange-flavored lube near the front of the store, and who could blame him?).

“Perfect,” Stede echoed, looking at Ed with an unbearably fond expression, and then he patted Ed’s ass and led him off. “Now, I was thinking - you know, your new harness has a space to insert a bullet vibe into the strap that goes over your cock? I was thinking we could pick out a new one with a remote, so I can give you some vibrations to reward you for being so good when you fuck me!”

“Yes, sir,” Ed laughed, taking Stede’s hand to rush off after him.

[petrichormore]

-LIVE-BLOGGED THOUGHTS ON TODAY’S STREAM-

FIRST OFF - one little thing that I want to say:

(This is about the characters, obviously.)

I am totally on Bad’s side about locking his base down and not letting anyone in. If he wants to do that, there’s nothing wrong with it. I get why Forever and Baghera might be upset but holy shit it’s his house. And also: Trust is always gifted, never owed. The fact that he’s letting them inside his base at all is a privilege that very few people on the server have and I don’t think they realize that.

Yes, maybe they trust him with everything but that’s their decision and Bad isn’t somehow required to reciprocate equally as they see fit. I’d even argue he is reciprocating equally - but his idea of “I trust you as much as I possibly can” is just different from theirs.

I saw a lot of people telling Bad in chat that Baghera had a point but like - trust is not really a transaction like that, or at least it shouldn’t be - trust is something you earn. Forever and Baghera have earned more of Bad’s trust than any other people on the server but that doesn’t mean they’re entitled to anything he doesn’t feel comfortable sharing with them if it doesn’t concern them. Especially if it’s his LITERAL ACTUAL TOP-SECRET PRIVATE HOUSE WHERE HE LIVES.

That’s not to say I don’t understand where Forever and Baghera are coming from - obviously it probably does come across like he doesn’t trust them but. Even if they’re right (they’re not), if he doesn’t trust them then trying to guilt-trip him into giving them complete access is not gonna. make him trust them more so. Y’know. Skill issue.

OKAY NOW THE LIVE THOUGHTS

- Lmao Bad is explaining his potential proxy representive democracy style government to Antoine and he really just said “if any candidate tries to assassinate anyone else I’ll just kill them” like he knows how stacked he is. People ask “What if someone assassinates Bad?” And my answer to that is: they can certainly try but they’ll probably fail miserably.

- Bad: “Everyone thinks they’re powerful until a mine is placed in the right location.” I am so glad he’s not evil because everyone else would be screwed if he was

- Bad: “I’m gonna be honest: I don’t want a government. I do not want a president. But if we have to choose a president, I want a president that will do as little as possible [without full community support].” My anarchist king. A man of the People.

- Bad has decided he wants to talk to Phil and try and convince him to run because he doesn’t trust anyone to be a ‘good president’ and thinks someone who doesn’t want the position at all would be the best choice. He also said if Phil won’t, he will run himself with an anti-government stance. If he doesn’t have a chance of winning, he will throw his support behind Forever or Baghera and help them win. I really want to see a Phil/Bad team-up though, or at least see them discuss it.

- Overall, Bad’s whole monologue about his stance on the election was super cool and he’s so Right and Correct. He didn’t explain it very well during the debate but god damn is he cooking

[rdbrainz]

nnoitra is my absolute fave and i adore your art!!! id love to see some kind of dynamic fighting pose of him in your style, but im also curious about any art or headcanons you might have about him if he had experienced the living world somewhat- like what foods would he like, or hobbies, or how would he spend time w others? sorry for the long ask love you bye!!!!

Thanks🤧❤ !!! And ohh that's a good ask! I have like a couple of answers for different turns of events on this one... Might as well also share some of the other ideas I have so it's a lot and even more.

But well if we're talking about regular hollow Nnoitra I think he'd be interested in all kinds of entertainment. Mainly music. He always struck me as a music person tbh especially since I firmly believe he'd be involved with goth subculture in some way or the other. I can see him collecting CDs as a hobby. Considering that my version of Nnoitra absolutely HATES thinking into things too much if they have something to do with his relationships, himself or the hollow existence as a whole I guess doing nothing when he's not asleep is hell for him because there's not much to think about in Hueco Mundo anyway. Maybe background music would give him some peace of mind while he's musing to himself. I mean even if his mind would wander back to these topics AT LEAST it won't be as painful to think about it as doing the same while you're surrounded by silence and lying on a hard surface locked up somewhere in Las Noches so no one would gnaw into your damn throat on your free time.

Him being a melomane/an avid music lover would work in any AU or story. I think he'd love A Perfect Circle. You know... considering the crescent moon and circle patterns and the music theme Kubo chose for him.

If we're talking about a bit worse turn of events where - let's say - he ends up in someone's home in the world of the living after he got his ass handed to him by zaraki, had to flee and now he feels worse than ever... watching TV is his other go-to. He'd be in front of it 24/7. It's stupid, sometimes even curious, sometimes confusing and he can either catch up on things or just complain about something to himself. His mind is occupied with something all the time either way.

I also think hollow Nnoitra would be very sceptical about trying human/shinigami food. It doesn't seem appealing to him, unnatural even. Especially if he has someone to feed off of. I believe that arrancars can work like vampires. Shinigamis are just compressed spiritual power so transfusing reiatsu would have the same effect as actually eating a shinigami. What's the point of choosing between flesh, blood and reiatsu if it's all the same in their case 😭. If he ends up living with a human then. Well. Blood sucking it is I guess lmao. Anyway yeah when it comes to food he's more prone to sticking to his hollow side. Though maybe he'd be tempted to try a soda or two.

If he's human/a shinigami then this guy would eat and/or drink literally anything. Especially if it's sea food, meat or something spicy. I had an AU where he was a captain in Gotei 13 and one of his hobbies was visiting karakura and other cities just to absolutely rob food establishments of their supplies. If a restaraunt has an "all you can eat" offer then it might as well be fucking bankrupt. If a cute cafe has a special Valentine's Day offer where couples only pay half the price then "Well I guess I could give someone a call". Cooking though..? Nope. Can't be bothered enough to cook something for himself.

Someone I know also had suggested once that in this AU he'd have a shit ton of hair products. And well it does make sense.

In a Shinigami Academy AU I had he's much younger and edgier LMAO. Goth enough to care about his appearance and wear makeup but too insecure to not stick out too much. He'd love collecting good cool-looking clothing but would literally bite off his own limbs if he had to wear something skin-tight or god forbid skinny jeans. Him and his toothpick legs could never!! Anyway there he wasn't so wary and disdainful towards other people. Desperate for some affection but sadly too air-headed to care enough. So he was sleeping around a lot just for funsies with Shinji as his partner in crime (sorry). I think that's about all I have on this topic!! Tnx again!

[abba-dabba]

I didn't have time for any art stuff so I'm posting a rant about how much I love the female characters in Fullmetal Alchemist instead

all the female characters in this show are Top Tier™ and I will not put up with that "they're bad because they're taking on masculine traits" bullshit because it's a stupid argument.

Trisha Elric? emotionally intelligent, loyal to her family, clearly the glue holding her family together, validates her hubby's feelings but doesn't let him wallow in his misery and makes sure he's as involved as he can be

Izumi Curtis? sees two wet orphans and pretends that she totally doesn't want to scoop them up and sign the adoption papers, was an awesome mentor to her kids but didn't hold them back, rescues her dumb kids even if it puts her in danger because they had to learn that somewhere ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Riza Hawkeye? joins the army and gets one of the most difficult positions available on her own merits, willingly mutilating her own body to make sure her father's research couldn't be replicated to hurt others, protective of everyone in her makeshift family and will not tolerate any bs even if it's coming from a superior, very good at picking things apart but won't always reveal her hand

Winry Rockbell? a literal medical genius who could get a med degree and make tons but chooses to hone other skills to get better at personal hobby, willing to trust her loved ones to make their own decisions, grows in her own time and willing to learn from people who know better without being a doormat

Olivia Armstrong? has no prejudice about who she accepts in her ranks, doesn't put up with any kind of bigotry, very intimidating but clearly has a soft spot for her brother because she will not accept any slander of him and will stick her neck out to help him, will not be swayed to do terrible things even if it benefits her personal goals, definitely will insult loved ones but would destroy someone for doing the same

Lust The Voracious? she is femme fatale personified, she knows she is hot and will use it to her advantage, she is intelligent and cares for her looks but not to the point of narcissism, she takes on the REAL leadership role from the homunculus because otherwise nothing would ever get done because NOBODY HELPS ME IN THIS FUCKIN HOUSE, she's completely evil and has no redemption arc because sometimes it's just neat to have an unsympathetic villain with no tragedy to justify their actions

Sheska? had such a damn good memory, is literally the only reason the Elric bros were able to discover the gov. conspiracy, is a totally awkward and relatable bookworm who really tries her best to do good by others without wanting anything in return

Pinako Rockbell? a cool af grandma who welcomes her home to anyone, has the motto "do no harm, but take no shit", takes on raising a bunch of kids without any complaints and will guilt them with home visits just cause she misses them, will not leave anyone in the cold and does not hold grudges and would probably spoil tons of kids before sending them home

[dutchannanas]

Episode 8 of Rap:Public

I started a new study so that's why I'm behind. Trying to make it all work etc. anyway~

2 hours and 20 minutes??? (I forgot the episodes with 2 hours and 37 minutes) okayyy let'sss goooo

Oh right, we got 6 blocks now.

I like the wholesome start of this episode. I'm not a fan of Double Down's rap but he sure is fun to watch. Damn I wish I was surround by all those rappers teaching me Korean. (I need to stop simping, I know, I'm so sorry)

Since, do you regret moving lol Since and Joonie... so cute~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Block Match!

Match 1 Block 6 vs 3

Kaogaii considered Joonie as a throwaway card at first but she works hard to prove herself and chaged his mind! That's what I call TV!

A part of me dies every time they promote Red Bull. I get it, money, sponsorship and shit but it is not that great !!!

Attack everyone but praise Since, that's crazy hahaha.

Oh damn this is already fire! Yang Kyle is so cool! Wait Geegooin made a mistake? Dommiu yes!!!! Yang Kyle is crazy! When is the album with Haon coming out? XD Bicep duo Kohway and MckDaddy!

Guys, I am terrible at recognizing verses but as soon as Haon said "flow like water" I almost jumped from my chair and yelled!!! H1GHR GANG LET'S GOOOOO this is the only verse I rapped along XD

O'DOMAR AND JOONIE YESSSSSS GOOD JOOOOOOB I'M SO PROUD OF YOU TWOOOOO. Damn Dommiu and James Ahn pulled off something similar and I'm afraid it was slightly better. Block 3's diss at the end was hilarious!

Who is going to win this? I don't know. OMG BLOCK 3!! YAY!! This battle was amazing!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Match 2 Block 5 vs 4

I need to see Ha Yoonbin rap! I know him from YG Treasure Box! I forgot Owen joined Block 5. He stands out but maybe that's because of his hair? I forgot Osun became the leader, my bad, but everyone is counting on him, that's good! Block 4's teamwork is looking good too. I was worried about them since Since left but Skyminhyuk, you got my hopes back up!

I don't know what's hotter; this match or the buldak noodles I just ate. Also Hash Swan, I see you performing Dante's lyrics. (I've had that song on repeat too many times) The match is not over yet but in my mind I can see Block 4 winning this. I need Owen to go back to boombap. Yo I know this verse! Hash is performing his part from BAND. Some songs are too iconic too be forgotten, even with my shitty memory lmao. Cocona is so funny, this might be might favourite performance of her! And Kim Ryul? I have come to the conclusion that he is a hidden gem!

Ah it's finally over. Damn, I mean Luci Gang was insane. And then JP and Khundi and Hash and Owen and Osun and then again Luci. However, I'm choosing Block 4. Their teamwork was good and I feel like they truly were able to show off something new, especially the rappers who are underdogs did a fantastic job, no mistakes were made. Only a three vote difference? Insane. OH MY GOD CONGRATULATIONS BLOCK 4444444

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Match 3 Block 2 vs 1

Both Blocks look intimidating. This will be fun! Block 2 will be fine, I have confidence in them. Polodared you goofy ass XD

Okay let's fucking go, last match!

Holy shit. I was so focused on the whole match that I didn't pause until Loopy made a mistake. That threw me off guard.

It's over already. I didn't write much but what can I say? Let these rappers speak for themselves. Block 1 won! They had a lot of energy on stage. Both Blocks did well but one of them did better. Ahw Loopy :(

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So the next death match is block vs block vs block?

No way, only 1 block survives? That's cruel. That is too cruel, what the fuck... the preview for the next episode is teasing Jay Park and drama. This is too much T^T

[rocketyship]

That poll is so hard to vote for cause on one hand, it feels like Tiff would fit the best because of her incredibly unreliable narration matching Ted's while it would still be a subversion of the original because of the reason why she's unreliable(rose tinted glasses and extreme devotion to BE as opposed to the stuff Ted's got going on) and her pov on and relationship with BE would just be so fun to see explored and the horror of the situation being a subtle thing thats swept under the rug could be so cool.

But on the other, Evan would also kinda match with the original due to his open emotional distance and disconnect from the girls, AND it would bring a lot of fun, fresh stuff! Seems like Evan is the one who pays most attention to AM, and seeing what's happening there from his pov would be so interesting! He, just like Ellen if she would've narrated could bring up how things like being the only one of the opposite sex and gender in the group and (from what we know from the short story at least) only dark skinned person would like.. idk change perspectives on things?? I'd also love to find out more about him!

Oh, not to mention Naomi!! Having narration that is pretty damn reliable would make worldbuilding and exploration much easier and she's also got that disconnect due to her age and crystal clear memory, being able to see things as they are and were could be really refreshing in a ihnmaims universe and i really want to know what her whole deal is! Being born toward the end of the war must've made quite a difference to how a person would process everything, Ted's whole "I'm youngest so my experience is different because i barely had time to live as an adult before the nukes" wouldn't have shit on someone who wasn't even like... done w puberty.

Ooooh they'd all make for such fun narrators 😭 It's really too bad that writing takes so much time and effort or it would've been amazing to see all three's povs! I still don't know what to vote for or how the results are looking so far but im really looking forward to seeing what the results will lead to!

Maybe you have a character you have the most ideas for or would like to write most? Cause if so, that'd def help me choose what to vote.

Sorry for the wall of text(would you believe me if i said i wanted to write more? This is me trying to show restraint, didn't even write about the potential AM could have as a narrator), and i hope you have a good day!

Okay so first off, I love-love-love this response. You have such fun perspectives on these silly little au characters of mine and it makes me a little sad that you didn’t write anymore cause I definitely would have read it, especially what you were thinking about what an interesting narrator AM could be.

As to which character I have the most ideas for, is such a difficult thing to answer cause well I have so-so many. But I do want to put them out there for you so here they are:

Tiffany: narration wise, I imagine the stuff she says can and does come across as nonsensical and border line trigger happy, however sometimes she occasionally lets something slip that clues into her true feelings and that a part of her may indeed be aware of the gravity of the groups situation, however she shuts it down as she has severe attachment issues and cannot fathom how she could possibly survive without BE. Another thing I pictured is that she very often quotes the bible and other religious texts, as BE doesn’t present herself as machine and genuinely as a divine entity. I also have been toying with a scene similar to the one in the radio drama, where AM is talking to Ted about bumblebees and getting high r something. Where it is set up as the reverse. BE showing Tiff the horrors of what the radiation and world has come to (in a way that is seriously deceptive) and claiming that all she has to do is snap her fingers for it to return. It would definitely read as a story where there is total tonal whiplash from one scene to the next, so that is something to consider.

Evan: I have come up with so many pasts for all these survivors before they were “rescued” by BE, however one thing to note is that I don’t really think of these characters as just “genderbent versions of the originals”. Evan is one of the key examples of this, as in this au he is technically the original Ellen’s older brother, however he left home when she was around 12-13ish, as he didn’t like the life, college and job his family set out and tried to push him into. Unlike Ellen who was a successful engineer, who may have been a hopeless romantic based on the original text. Evan was and very much still is kind of a massive party animal. I picture him very punk but like the old kind of punk. Like he was the kind of guy to go motorcycling around the country (even into war-devastated bits, cause it was a thrill), he went to underground clubs and concerts, and sure as heck slept around and had no shame in it (both women and men if you are curious). He doesn’t want to get sentimental, he wants to live his life on the edge and BE doesn’t allow that. He constantly tries to upset her, get some kind of intense reaction from her. He tries to escape, he kicks and tries to tear open parts of her internal network. This man has tried to kill Gloria (Gloria kind of deserves it thou) and the only reactions he gets from BE is her finding him cute, amusing, or as if he just needs to be put in a corner to calm down for a bit. Truthfully he is someone who just wants to go back and experience life again, recognising that BE’s utopia isn’t living and refusing to buy into it.

Naomi: I won’t lie, Nimdok is so boring in the og story, and they definitely tried to do “something” with him in the game. I don’t like it, again different ramble. So like Evan, she is a different person. Like you said she has barely started puberty and because of BE neither her body or even her mind has really aged in anyway and she is horribly aware of this. Due to the war she has had her childhood taken from her, but now because of BE she shall never experience adulthood or growing up. Her memory hardly anything particularly helpful. She remembers exactly what BE did to the others when they first got brought to the compound, she has seen what goes down in the labs, she knows what pills are and aren’t sleeping pills, developing a habit where she will pretend to take one and spit it out if she is able to. As stated in the survivors master post, she knows BE’s blind spots and will often go there on her own. Not really to do anything, just kind of sit around. Further more, she and Evan have a way of communicating, number of blinks, which fingers moved when you spoke to them, that kind of stuff. Still she doesn’t want to escape, she knows she’ll die if she does, generally she acts more like a mediator in the group. As a narrator, I did have this idea for a few odd habits she has learned over the years. Example is that she constantly counting, time and routine is import to her, as she notices when something is wrong and that freaks her out. She also has this habit of just staring at the others for very long periods of time, especially Gloria. She clearly remembers seeing her on tv during her old life, and also remembers how she attacked her when Naomi attempted to mention it to Gloria.

Writing does take so much effort, especially for me, cause truthfully I’m always jumping back and forth on what I’m working on. On top of this au and the fic, I’m also in the process of finishing the final script and sketches for a different web comic I’ve been planning for a while, as well as a completely unrelated world building project that I’ve been at for two years now. Anyhow!! Tell me more please

[mimzalot]

im a pacifist, but... (Claude von Riegan FE3H)

copied over from twitter - written circa 3H, prior to starting 3Hopes

kinda love that Claude is like "I'm as close as you get to a pacifist route, I like to avoid bloodshed" and his right hand man can kill you six ways from Sunday and left hand lady has a giant axe and can KO u in one hit and his named retainer is a war hero and –

not to get into it but imho this is actually a pretty accurate way of how “pacifism” tends to operate. Claude is the ideological focus but the pragmatic approach demands violence. and there's something to look into re: how Hilda, Lorenz, Judith and Nader carry violence in his stead

I think people get into this when they assess Claude bouncing his ideology off Edelgard's violence because that's essentially it - it doesn't mean Claude facilitates this violence, but of course a pacifist angle doesn't exist without something to oppose. so they work in tandem.

Claude deals in violence too, though I think he manages to avoid too much of it - but the necessary violence doesn't go away, and I'm interested in how it then becomes the responsibility of those in his immediate vicinity. some would call that cowardice. and they do!

on the flipside they could call it a sort of moral integrity that's difficult and must be protected. Claude distancing himself from the violence keeps Claude afloat, and they need Claude to keep his clear leadership. so protecting his integrity by violence is... good, then?

in any case I just love the dynamic of compassionate scheming diplomatic leader sitting at the centre of like five murder machines all willing to throw their lives on the line to protect his vision of peace whew yeah that's the good shit

and the best bit is that Claude is under no illusions, so if you consider that Claude always offers an out, and never wants bloodshed, and sees the inherent value of all people, then you gotta wonder whether he's withering away every time someone dies for his cause. aha! eek!

tis a moral conundrum, no?! he needs to empower people to fight for him even if he's morally opposed to the subsequent fighting. Claude doesn't deal in cognitive dissonance so you can rest assured that the violence he inspires is just as internalised as the violence he commits.

how do you sleep at night when you believe whole-heartedly that violence isn't the answer but have to choose that answer anyway? all the lords say "it's necessary" but the other two seem more inclined to say "and it's right" (whether they believe it fully or not) - Claude doesn't

also interesting to me that Lorenz prefers to avoid bloodshed and Hilda just hasn't really thought about it, because I think both of them need that guidance from Claude to avoid falling into that "necessary righteous violence" angle that war-faring Fodlan has BUT IN DOING SO…

they become frightfully powerful allies for Claude that are capable of all the violence, and also, all the sacrifice. so proximity to Claude's pacifist outlook bolsters your willingness to die for Claude, if you wanna look at it that way. damn LMAO that's rough buddy

Claude inspires you to live! and in doing so inspires you to! uh! die. for him, this time. whew. lucky Claude spent most of his upbringing fortifying himself mentally otherwise this spiritual predicament might just kill a guy's spirit haha hee hoo

and I haven't even started on Byleth, where Claude dumps the task of violence AND leadership. he doesn't feel good about it though. and the cool thing there is that Byleth is arguably not into the idea of needless death either, and is OP enough to handle it... which Claude knows.

I guess this is all surmised by the "yet you participate in society! curious!" comic where just because Claude doesn't like a thing doesn't mean he won't utilise every aspect of that thing because that's the resourceful, productive thing to do when faced with unbelievable odds.

addition: this is coming up a lot in the early chapters of Golden Wildfire where Claude is forced to not only respond with violence but facilitate violence among the unwilling Alliance as retaliation to impending war, which is a little moral paradox that really shows how difficult it is to match up ideals and practice.

similarly, I’m keen to get into the idea that an anti-war outlook is also just tactically sound from where Claude stands in the world, regardless of how he might feel about it. of course an Empire will see war as their tactically sound option, whereas an Alliance cant afford that sort of behaviour. it’s an interesting and ongoing exploration of the strength of moral imperative vs. tactics, and where they intersect, falter, thrive, etc.

really chuffed about this and figure I’ll have more to say about it when we reach the end - but it’s early days! Shez is a fascinating addition to this as the ‘merc that needs violence to thrive’ and I’m primed and ready for more intrigue to come.

[silverhandj]

SilverV,

I think I wrote about this on my old blog but this dynamic is heavily reliant on the fact that one cannot exist without the other and both are entitled to have their own hold on life with their dreams and desires. It gets crowded when one has a biological claim to the body it's lived a life in, and that line gets crossed when another is unable to stop its claim to taking over their body. There is never no choice for V, it's an illusion Johnny makes to comfort V the very same way Robert Linder was comforted in the trenches with Johnny.

Would you die for me?

I love this scene because it's so vulnerable and romantic, it's very much giving hope to a hopeless situation. I've just always hated how easy it is to think that Johnny is saving them out of love. This question is always one way, Johnny will always choose his life over V's, no matter the context. This is his only personal flaw that's his to choose, his own agenda that isn't influenced at all by V.

Which leads me to not vibe with the SilverV dynamic sometimes because it's never a relationship based on equal footing, one person has to be something for the other the same way the other has to be him.

The way each other copes with this is by handling business, being the hero, compartmentalizing all this shit with extreme situations which put each other's life to the test.

Just would also like to note that this dynamic was shared between Rogue and Johnny before Rogue cut him off cold and smartened up. V doesn't have that luxury, and frankly, Johnny doesn't either.

Personal autonomy is important for Johnny, back when he was actually alive and its something he's programmed to feel and to know he has something that's all his? He's a greedy, selfish man with something to prove to you, to Night City. He's the raving nutjob on the side of the road yelling about Arasaka took his choom from him when he's the one who actually forced him out and give him something to live for.

There's always a revenge story, there's always a bomb to blow, there's always a redemption arc. He wants you to die for him.

The memories you're forced to re-live as Johnny as V are all constructed by Johnny. He only ever wants V to remember the good parts about him, the cool parts he's actively lived. There's something very inherently lonely about Johnny which makes him want to live life with V, a way in which he enjoys the chaos you two make in Night City because it's exactly the same shit he did when he was alive.

There's love there for sure because V is forced to stomach all of Johnny Silverhand's ugly, the way that he's actively killing him just for keeping him alive the same way he's keeping you alive by fighting with you instead of against you. He's never had that kind of active support for that long, everyone at some point or the other has left him or have actually died for him.

Which puts his feelings and emotions into perspective. Which is why he can push aside anyone who isn't V and sit at their table with a heavy heart and an even heavier hand when he finally gets that there doesn't have to be a revenge story, there doesn't have to be a bomb, there can't even be a you and him existing on the same plane because you're both cut from the same cloth trying to fucking win something, and he'd be damned if he wasn't honest with you at the end of the line.

So if you're here to tell me something, it's cause you need to hear it yourself.

Johnny can't bear to say I love you to a body gone cold of you when you give it up in don't fear the reaper, which is why he leaves Night City.

Johnny can't bear to forgive you or himself when you ask Arasaka for help, because you gave up on yourself which means you must've given up on him at some point.

Johnny understands your decision to lean into the NUSA for help with saving your life, but he needs you to let go, he needs to know that no matter how much time you've spent together as each other, you're still gonna be the better person. This ending is special, because this ending is a permanent one for Johnny instead of the others and he's at peace with it. Because no one's dying for him, he's asking you to stay alive for him.

And that's the point, no matter how high the affinity meter is, he actually does love V but it's complicated because he can never actually be there the way he would if he were alive. Which makes him wonder, would this have happened at all if they both were still alive as two different people?

I leave u with David Bowie based songs that fit bc Mike Pondsmith based Johnny Silverhand off of and i'm a nerd and need there to be a a soundtrack for every stupid ship I brainrot over

That's the thing, there's a string of hope forced upon them both, and even if there's no happy endings for people like them maybe it's enough to love and be loved in the end.

[blackstarchanx3new]

FSR rambles PT

PART. 3 BABY OF BEING CRINGY ABOUT MY OWN AU

LET'S GOOOOOO (Big send of too this chapter, holy shit)

Lol so like: One thing I didn't wanna do was suppress how much Zelda meant to Shadow Link's character arc for the sake of Vidow "Working".

Shadow Link does love Zelda FYI our mans is Bi. Idk if you noticed...but this whole comic is just polycule central there's no shipping wars, you can ship everyone basically. X'D

Zelda was a huge role in Shadow Link's character development to being a good boy, so it's only natural he's attached to her. (This will also be shown in the next chapter...Hehe)

Also the way his emotions around Vio are so charged that the best way he can put it to words is Vio is "Really cool" is like, so dumbly sweet. Bro can't properly even word how much he adores this man.

Shadow Link has made it no secret he wants to be buds with Vio for reals this time, and he's also 100% not interested in helping Gannon. So...There really ISN'T a reason Vio and him should have the same issues Vio was worried about. Thus, he tries to sooth Vio's fears.

*cough cough cough* gay. Shadow Link's so anxious about asking.

Lol so I got a "Writing rule" for Vio...He ain't gonna cry till I crack him completely like an egg. X'D He will get very close tho: Like this moment.

The way I put blush on the nose area specifically indicates someone's like, close to crying or is crying. I just like this face particularly because there's so much shit going on in that head of his.

The start of the hug is so damn awkward (Intentionally so)

These panels mean so much to meeeeeeee-

Everything about em

The hug, Vio's so close his face is squished (He's so adorable.)

Shadow Link doesn't immediately hug him back he's stunned.

Hehehehe. Vidow go brrrrr..

This entire page is just: PAIN.

Shadow breaks the hug to show him the book.

The wording leaves it so ya can't help but think he hoped the introducing of their friendship would change Vio's mind about being Link again...That his words earlier were just mad ramblings and not how he actually felt. But with a clear head Vio verbally says he still wants to be Link again.

Lmao bro tries not to crack again aaaaand fails.

The book is one about healing magic...What kinds are in there I wonder. ;) A refrence...to a past Selda game mayhaps?~

Also this frame of Shadow Link full blown ugly crying while pretending to be fine is so hilarious to me idk if it comes off as sad or funny but it's kinda both to me. X'D

Mans is crying for him and Vio at this point.

Vio putting the book down in favor of comforting Shadow Link is just kinda one of those things that like, if he had ignored Shadow Link the reader would have noticed, but him being like, decent is smth that isn't nearly as "noticeable" (Like, ya typically notice a character being shitty WAY MORE than you notice all the subtle things they do that are just, kind.)

Also Shadow still wants to be helpful even though he's like, sobbing his eyes out. X'D

He also tries to hide from Vio lmao. Vio saw the water works bro.

Quite a few things:

Shadow's still toxic, just a little. X'D He WANTS Vio around, he misses him like crazy and does not want him to leave, AT ALL. This is very obvious lmao.

But he's also at the point where he knows he can do better than just screaming and throwing tantrums like he did as a kid. But his true feelings about how betrayed he feels Vio still wants to be Link are STILL THERE. Even if he chooses to try and hide them.

Also funny detail: Vio blushing was a lowkey gag because of the whole "They're both attracted to red flags" joke.

You could also take it as him being scared shitless, which he IS.

While he can't take back snapping at Vio, he certainly realizes his mistake very quickly and apologizes. So that's SOMETHING at least. (Considering the type of person he was before, a relapse or two is expected lmao.) I think him still having a certain level of anger management issues makes his character overall more interesting.

I like to think the only reason Vio gave him any patience for that, was because Shadow Link has been nothing but patient and there for him all night and he knows Shadow is emotional as fuck.

As Vio gave him shit for the fight with Blue earlier showed, Vio doesn't tolerate Shadow's crap when he's just being a violent shithead.

Hahaha. Remember when Link outright stated Vio wanted to be Vio and not Link. :) Link sure is a way more reliable narrator than...idk...The guy who lies...

*Whispers gently into your ear* Vio's not being very truthful here...

Notice: He only. ONLY brings up "Logical" reason...not his actual FEELINGS on the matter... He SAYS "I don't want to be Vio"

WHY. WHY!? TELL US WHY VIO!!!

He does have a reason but he's not tellin' lmao.

So, in the book it's not really...SPECIFIED where Shadow Link came from? Like I think all it says is "Gannon drew him out of the dark mirror"

...THAT IS SO UP FOR INTERPRETATION AND BRINGS UP SO MANY QUESTIONS:

Did he have a life in the dark world and was just, TOLD to do Gannon's bidding? His line of "I'm your living reflection in the dark world" MAYBE supports this idea...??? KINDA?

But my issue with that is: Shadow Link gives NO indication he has had a past in the dark world, like...at all. Nothing. No mention of family (Which...Reasonably wouldn't he have a dark version of Link's father???) He's the ONLY PERSON who's implied to be FROM the dark world. Also...The dark mirror isn't REALLY implied to be a PORTAL... The seal on Vaati and his demons was, but Shadow Link wasn't freed from that, Gannon "Drew him from the dark mirror" to release Vaati...So uh...HMMMM His also distinct lack of his OWN name kinda makes me go ???? Like...His NAME is Shadow Link...Like that's not a nickname. That's his NAME. (Like this just weirds me out because of a cannon "Reflection" of Link: in Ravio. Who like...HAS HIS OWN NAME???? ik Ravio isn't from the "Dark world", he's from Lowrule, but point still stands this is odd.)

Suffice to say, there's just not enough info here to draw a conclusion for me? So I gotta make shit up. X'D Shadow Link was created out of Link's Shadow by Gannon in FSR. This is also the reason he resembles a Gerudo male. Cause Gannon said "Mm yes, my evil Link sona will have my heritage. UwU"

Shadow link realizing he almost made Vio cry is so funny to me.

Vio looks so fucking pathetic there. lmfao.

Shadow's words only hit again like Link has stated: Shadow knows Vio

Whether intentionally or not: what he says hits Vio like a ton of bolders.

He's very hesitant to keep talking though because he doesn't want to hurt Vio either.

It's like, he's AWARE he's telling Vio this shit because he WANTS him to stay, but you also can't deny Shadow's at least CORRECT in a lot of his statements. How far should he push that though? Hmm.

His "Oh my god you're an idiot" face is hilarious. Shadow's like "You still don't get what I'm laying down dude??? REALLY!?"

*Explodes*

Lmao. That panel before they kiss is basically my favorite in the entire comic rn. X'D

Shadow pulling away and squishing Vio's face is also a favorite. Vio's just cute and squishable.

Vio stating the obvious: That his mental breakdown wasn't Shadow's fault. (Wasn't really anybody's fault it was inevitable, especially with the curse/Dark Link active)

Lmao. Vio's kinda dumb as bricks sometimes too. X'D

Shadow Link's fucking deadpan stare while Vio rants is so hilarious to me. Also the direct quoting of Vio instead of paraphrasing making his statement sound even more stupid.

Also fun dialogue thing: You'll notice the characters stutter or like, pause weirdly, Because I like writing dialogue a little more realistic. Like Shadow Starts off as "I-was" instead of like "W-was" like he thought of saying smth completely different at first or his mouth moved before his brain did. X'D

Their banter is fun, Vio's his sassy self. Shadow giving him all the kisses we desired...

Okay ngl this page hurts me X'D Like. Ouch. All of it hurts.

Because of how Link kinda abandoned Shadow Link (Even though he was always there) Shadow is OBVIOUSLY very hesitant to let go. It's super obvious Vio doesn't wanna let go either.

Also Vio kissing him back surprises Shadow. X'D He's still bamboozled Vio is receptive to his affection oof... (Would like to show him getting more comfy with it as the comic goes on like "Holy shit, nah he's not playing around with me he fr-")

They mean so much to each other. QuQ

Okay to make you laugh in these very serious panels: Because Shadow's floating Vio's standing on his tip toes.

On that note, can't wait to see yall for the next chapter, whenever I get around to it. X'D