#a lot of the time i think i have crappy social skills but the helpful residents of tumblr remind me i am actually

[ssaalexblake]

Some people on this site are So rude and mean over the most inconsequential bullshit that it’d be funny if it wasn’t actually hurtful. 

[marvelandponder]

15Qs and 15As!

Thanks for the tag, Marvel, this sounds fun! Tagging: @smallcrystals, @digikate813, @eddiescorner, and @bevinbrand if she feels like it :) Don't dox yourself on the 'where were you born' question tho, y'all. We're better than that. Are you named after anyone? Two people! My Uncle Stephen and my Nana (maternal grandmother). My brother was named after my dad's high school best friends

When was the last time you cried? I think the last time was a couple weeks ago watching anime. I love a good cry, I've embraced that that's how I express a lot of emotions

Do you have kids? Nope! I'd like to someday, but all in due time.

What sports do you play/have you played? I'm not a team sports kind of girl anymore, but I played soccer as a kid and really enjoyed that.

Do you use sarcasm? Usually only obvious sarcasm. Bevin and I will often use excessively obvious sarcasm with each other to express love. A little linguistic game we play with each other. We never enjoy spending hours and hours on the phone together. So unlike us! Where would you get that idea?

What is the first thing you notice about people? First thing? I feel like my anxiety is charge of that: looking out for how friendly they seem, what they laugh at (if they do), how approachable they might be. I had pretty bad social anxiety disorder from like 14 - 22ish and human beings tend to do the social thing once or twice.

What is your eye color? Hazel! Looks brown but up close you can see there's a lot of green around my pupils, too.

Scary movies or happy endings? My media diet is heavily skewed towards happy endings but every now and then, nothing satisfies like a good tragedy.

Any talents? People know I like the writing thing! I'm also learning to draw now and picking up guitar again for the first time since before uni!

Where were you born? A hospital about... 30 - 40 minutes away from me? I don't live in that city anymore, and haven't since I was 3, but we stayed in the same general province!

Don't dox yourself, folks!

What are your hobbies? Writing, drawing, guitar, going for bike rides or walks. Geeking out by myself or with friends! I'm also starting to learn some German and pick up a few more cooking skills.

Do you have any pets? Nah, wish I did. My living situation doesn't allow for it. But my dad has a dog who I love so much and get to visit! And my sister has two cats who used to live with us that are excellent cuddlers.

How tall are you? Uhhhhh I think 5'11? To use ancient Tumblr Lingo: Tol, not smol

Favorite subject in school? In Elementary - Middle School, it was English, because reading and writing. In high school, Psychology, Legal Studies, Guitars, History, or Writer's Craft

Dream job? Cool question, I'mma over-complicate it! For my career, it's either one of two things: Creative and/or helping people. Add another axis onto that: Stability vs. freedom. I like stability. It helps me feel happy and builds self-esteem to build stuff up. So since most of the creative jobs I'd be down to try have a lack of stability (and often crappy working conditions), I decided to start with stability and helping people! My current job is actually the goal I set for myself to get into in 5 - 10 years. So. Whoops! Got in early! I can't stay beyond this year (covering a mat leave) but wow has it been good experience. And it's cool shit that I like to think supports people in building something good for themselves.

Not a ton of creativity though, and so what's cool about life is that the time horizon isn't just right now, forever. The job I'm in now is a dream job of mine based on the criteria I set out (stable, treats me right, and helps people), but I have other dream jobs I'd like to also try out!

For example: I'd like to become a published author! And I'd also like to learn storyboarding to maybe try being a storyboards artist someday, or some job in animation.

What I like about the job I have now, too, is that I still have enough energy in and around my job to have a life outside of it. So I can build the creative skills that'll lead to cool stuff and opportunities down the line.

Having multiple dream jobs I think is realistic. And just kinda fun to not only achieve one thing, but look forward to what else I can do!

[rabbitindisguise]

honestly I feel like it's so important to let people politely backtrack I feel like it would have been super helpful in forming better relationships if early on I had been able to figure this out

something I've noticed in the local groups I'm in is that someone will say something offensive and people are like "ah, I disagree" and they immediately backpeddle, instead of jumping on it and demanding they own up to it they just . . . let it go? and the person isn't defensive and saves face but never says it again and is even able to open mindedly consider new viewpoints even if they don't change their mind. Even if it's really obvious that they more than likely did think that crappy thing they just said, it doesn't get mentioned at all or held against them if the topic comes up in the future.

given that I'm only learning a lot of social skills very recently it makes total sense that other people knew about this and were doing it the whole time, but it was mindblowing to me. I was under the impression that if someone did something Bad they had to Show they had learned what they did wrong by saying what it was they did wrong and insulting themselves, even if I never expected that- that was how people treated me, but it doesn't seem to be effective? I mean I should have known that from past experiences on the receiving end and yet it was still hard to figure out

I wonder if the extent of restorative justice extends way beyond things handled by the punitive justice system to small interactions like these

[ram-de]

a dirt in the floor

whenever i want to feel worthless, it's somehow because i ended up opening instagram. why is that? because, somehow it's both a relic of the past and also a window to the present. and they're both making me sad, in retrospect to the future i should be thinking.

i scrolled past the DM i sent. bad decision. very, very bad decision. because i think i can hold conversation, looking back. i can talk, so long as the other person, wants to, you know. but at the moment, back then, i've been so engulfed in feeling awkward or saying the wrong words or thinking of how it sounded. i still am, maybe, i don't know. i also tend to not send anything back when i don't know what to say...

i know i shouldn't be dwelling on the past, but it's not like i tried a big effort to fix my mistakes the past three years, aren't i? instagram is a pretty big thing for social communications. people make stories about what they're doing, and sometimes other people commented it in DM, that's where small talks goes. that's pretty much how most people keep up with what happens in their life without meeting them face-to-face. i don't know. other times people make posts, and others commented them. or liked them.

why the heck have i been stopping using it, then?

well... i think most of the problems i encountered can be traced back to... my... unrational thoughts... being anxious.... being so fucking pessimistic about everything... feeling like a coward... having low confidence and zero self-esteem... thinking like everybody hates me and that i'm a bother... thinking everyone noticed the way my hair falls out... feeling so fucking ugly... feeling so fucking out of place... inability to talk... having no hobbies... embarassed of my taste in music... damned stupid... too prideful and arrogant... inability to adapt... being a burden... a laughstock... someone who can't even talk... worthless... useless...

...

not too much on myself, yea... but... that's true. sometimes i still think i do. not all. maybe most of them.

and feeling like that is so, soul-sucking. it's been a while since i've even felt like this. gosh... and it's horrible. maybe distraction isn't so bad if i don't have to feel like this all the time... because those thoughts aren't true, but sometimes it felt like they're the only things i cling onto in my head... and it's so difficult to untangle it. let alone stopping having these thoughts...

fuck. i feel like crying... i know i regret a lot... i've been having dreams about high school because i missed being able to try, to be pushed and to be helped... having a purpose... but also feeling not so lonely... i missed it so bad...

i don't make good decisions in life, and i'm still here, breathing. that's a good thing... i know there's always hope, but i don't know if i... i don't know if i believe that i could leave this... kind of mentality... i couldn't even believe in myself... i'm scared. said that a lot, that it loses it meaning...

this kind of feeling... it felt so embarassing to have... because it should be easy, it's a common living skill... and here i am... punishing myself over something i'm struggling with... what did i do wrong? just why am i struggling so bad...

i want to be free, shave my hair off to never think about it again. join book clubs so that i can talk about what i read. going abroad. befriending someone. heck, who knows, even maybe i even want to kiss someone in the future. i want to sing my ass off with all my crappy voice in a karaoke. i want to smile and take photos... i want to go abroad and feel how the four seasons are.

but...

i can't even do the very simple thing of talking... of befriending someone... of being someone else's someone. i don't learn and i don't change...

i'm still me...

and i hate it...

fuck, i know that's my exaggerating thoughts taking over... i'm sad...

[absolutepokemontrash]

The Brothers and Side Characters Play the Sims

I don’t know what possessed me to make this but WHATEVER. I’ve been playing the Sims since I was a wee little girl, and I’ve seen my fair share of weird Sims stuff that I feel would fit these bozos perfectly.

My Sims have a Functional Family Life Because I Don’t (Lucifer)

God dammit Levi’s obsessed with another game... ugh.

Spends 5 minutes in Create-a-Sim and hops into a starter home.

Lucifer’s the type to start with all the average stuff and then build their stuff up as his sim gets promotions.

It’s just... so peaceful...

...he’s adopting a dog.

Look at his new little virtual family... his sim-kids are self sufficient and getting A’s in school, his Sim spouse MC or Diavolo take your pick loves his Sim-self, his sim-dog-

WAIT NO- THE DOG’S AN ELDER?!

AAAAAAAAAAAAA-

...

He’s fine. It was just a virtual dog. *sniffle*

He’s now spending his free time drinking Demonus and playing the Sims.

What’s a mod? Levi why does your sim have gun?

Behold, My Gorgeous Home... It’s a Box (Mammon)

Mammon, like the rest of the HOL, is mooching off of Levi’s Origin account.

“AW SHIT! This house looks awesome! I’m gonna build it for Sim-me to live in!”

Mammon proceeds to build a box with rooms. Yay...

He just picks the funnest sounding job if he picks any job at all for his Sim. That’s how he ended up making 9 dollars an hour in the criminal career.

Didn’t stop Mammon from buying that solid gold bathroom set from Get Famous... a box with solid gold bathrooms.

His Sim is broke send help-

“Leviiiiiii my sim needs money... the people my sim kidnapped and is forcing to paint aren’t making enough money...” “Ugh... press control shift C and type ‘motherlode’.”

...Levi made a mistake.

“FUCK YEAH! MOTHERLODE!”

His sim’s life is so chaotic, he has a piranha pool that his sim has almost died in twice, the sim is carrying on several torrid love affairs, his sim got struck by lightning, his sim has nearly died in a grilled cheese making accident twice... in the same day.

At least once Sim-Mammon and Sim-MC get married things calm down a little.

Mammon finds out what custom content is and proceeds to download EVERYTHING HE CAN FIND.

And now he’s asking Levi why his computer is running so slow.

Expansion Pack King (Leviathan)

He got into it back when the Sims 2 was new, he’s a veteran fan.

“Bro remember when Agnes Crumplebottom would show up and whack the shit out of your sims if they were flirting?”

“Remember when that witch would show up randomly on the lot you were on if you had Makin’ Magic?”

“Remember when Bella Goth was abducted by aliens and we just... didn’t question it?”

He whines about the Sims4 and how crappy it is but still buys every expansion pack, game pack, and stuff pack.

This boy watches like 40 hours of built tutorials and ends up sobbing over his weird roofs.

“WHY DOESN’T IT LOOK AS NICE AS THE ONE I’M LOOKING AT?! THIS ISN’T FAIR!”

The mod folder is so full istg-

Levi gets custom content for the sole purpose of making his favourite fictional characters.

This is why Henry and the Lord of Shadows are married and Ruri-chan and Sim-Levi are roommates.

Oh my god they were roommates-

Levi also added his brothers to the world and uh... Sim-Mammon died in a tragic pool accident F.

Levi then proceeded to befriend the Grim Reaper.

He’s anxiously awaiting the release of Paralives.

Wait Gameplay? In This Build Simulator? (Satan)

Satan’s here to build and leave. Gameplay who?

Our favourite bundle of rage is a master architect and the amount of followers on the Gallery he has shows it.

He takes up those build shell challenges and always ends up making them look positively perfect.

Asmo’s always using his houses, and Satan often takes requests when he gets bored.

No Mammon, he reserves the right to refuse to build a golden castle for you- YOUR SIM HAS 40 SIMOLEONS-

No mods, no CC, he’s building with what EA gave him.

...and EA gave him debug objects, and he’s not going to explain how to get them.

The one time he did actually play with a family... it was one sim and seven cats.

He tries to play without cheats... and ends up getting frustrated and turns on cheats.

All hail the Pets Expansion Pack.

Custom Content Soap Opera (Asmodeus)

Asmo spends 5 hours in Create a Sim then just... clicks out of the game.

That’s how it goes most of the time, buuuuuut when he gets super invested in a family he’s made, boy howdy is he INVESTED.

Sim A is carrying on an affair with Sim C who’s in love with Sim B who’s married to Sim A but Sim D wants to kill Sim A and C even though they’re the illegitimate child of Sim C-

When Asmo realizes that in the Sims 4 he needs to manufacture all the drama himself and he can’t just sit back with a glass of wine and watch the fireworks, he switches to the Sims 2 and 3.

“...why is this old lady beating up my Sim..?”

He immediately recoils in horror upon seeing how ugly the Sims are pre Sims4.

HE NEEDS TO FIX THIS-

Ah, there we go, perfect. Custom Content to the rescue!

He ends up remaking the entire world just so he doesn’t have to look at weird looking Sims.

Asmo is the only one to have finished a proper Legacy Challenge, but it gets crazy chaotic after gen 3.

“My sim just got abducted by aliens and now he’s pregnant- WHAT?!”

He has about 40 saves and only two he actually plays.

Just a Big Ol’ Happy Family (Beelzebub)

Beel found the game, proceeded to make everyone in create-a-sim to the best of his abilities, and made everyone get along.

That’s why Sim-Lucifer and Sim-Belphie are on a swing set together, they’re friends :D

“Hey Luke do you think you can make this?” “I-is that a cake shaped like a hamburger?” “Yes. Please make.”

He took one look at the cooking options and decided to max out his Sim’s cooking skill to unlock all the options.

Beel proceeded to drool all over his keyboard. Gross...

Boy howdy did he have some crazy dinner suggestions!

Overall, very wholesome Sim-life, except for the time Sim-Levi died because the toilet caught fire, don’t worry, Sim-Beel knows how to make ambrosia.

All is good in the Sim save...

...until Sim-Beel ate pufferfish nigiri and fuckin died-

Wait Did I Not Pause- (Belphie)

Huh, this game looks fine... I’ll play for a little- *SNORE*

Belphie makes some sims, plops them into a starter home, plays for an hour, then falls asleep.

He wakes up five hours later to absolute carnage.

Three sims have died because someone decided to make Mac and Cheese and the oven caught fire, the kids were taken away by social services, and the dog ran away.

“...heheh, holy shit everyone look.”

He doesn’t play often, but when he does, death occurs. He has found out every death method for every game from Sims 2 to 4.

And that INCLUDES the Sims Medieval! You guys remember that game?

Sometimes it’s not intentional, but Belphie got bored with the totally normal life his sims were living and decided to spice it up.

“Why are the ghosts breaking my showers..?”

Help There’s a Bug- (Diavolo)

The Crown Prince started playing when he noticed Lucifer was playing it.

He was immediately obsessed.

Dia mostly plays the Sims Medieval because he likes the feeling of achievement after completing a quest!

“Barbatos... why isn’t my Sim completing their task? The icon won’t show up.” “My lord it appears the game is bugged.” “:(“

No one thought to tell Diavolo that EA doesn’t plan on offering bug support to a game made in like... 2009

This doesn’t matter! Look at how great his kingdom is doing- oh no his hero has the plague-

He plays through the Pirates and Nobles expansion and manages to get the peaceful ending, he’s so proud of himself.

“MC! Look! My Monarch’s sword is permanently on fire and I’m fighting an evil wizard!”

When he does play the other Sims games he’s pretty basic, though, he does a great job at furnishing!

Dia gets crazy sad when his Sims die... he turns off aging.

Builder no. 2 (Barbatos)

Barbie doesn’t have time for this... but when he does, he builds.

No create a sim.

No playing the game as intended.

Just builds.

It’s relaxing, okay? A nice little suburban house he’s never going to play in, maybe a treehouse, maybe a big Hollywood Mansion...

The only time he actually plays the game outside of build mode is when someone needs his help to fix something in-game.

He does download custom content build items if he feels bored by the current selection.

Oh Crap What Am I Doing?! (Simeon)

Help him. Please.

He’s so confused.

“Luke, why is my sim upset?” “He’s hungry, Simeon.” “Oh, how do I fix that?” “...Simeon-”

There’s a toilet in the middle of the living room.

The fridge is facing the wall.

There’s no bathtub or shower.

The house is on fire- there is no god- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Okay, once he gets the hang of it he’s sitting pretty. His sims have good jobs, the kids are getting good grades, everything’s fine.

...

But Simeon won’t forget the nightmares.

What Even is This Save? (Solomon)

Solomon’s save is the definition of chaos.

One sim’s a vampire, the other is a spellcaster that really wants to fight the Callientes for some reason, there’s one normal sim that’s always sick for some reason,

It gets weird, confusing, and horrible.

Just how Solomon likes it.

His house makes no sense, like, what even is architecture?

Money cheats are needed because Solomon‘a goal of chaos and confusion is proving to be kind of expensive.

Square up Mortimer Goth, Solomon’s sims are here to steal your weird knight statue that’s worth a shit ton of simoleons for NO REASON.

He joined the scientist career for the sole purpose of getting to the alien planet and kidnapping adding an alien to the household via cheats.

The vampire ended up dying on their wedding day because Solomon forgot that he gave them the sun weakness.

Oh well, the ghost got added to the household! VAMPIRE GHOST!

The Child (Luke)

Before you say Luke’s too young to play the Sims, you should know that I was nine when I first started playing, and I turned out fiiiiiiiiiine.

He’s just happy to be playing.

Look, his sims are gardening :D

Look, two of them are getting married :D

Look, they had a baby :D

Look, his sims are building a rocket ship :D

Look, his sims’s rocket just crashed-

The concept of death hit the little angel right in the face that day.

“*sniffle*... my sims...”

Don’t worry, with tears in his eyes, Luke quit without saving and everything was fine!

Speaking of My Sims, Luke played MySims Sky Heroes and that was when Luke had his first bout of gamer rage.

MC came over to hang out with Solomon and Simeon, and in the distance they could just hear:

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY TIME WASN’T FAST ENOUGH TO CONTINUE THE STORY!? I’LL SHOW YOU FAST ENOUGH TIME!”

Okay, maybe Simeon should take the game away... just for a bit... he should take heed not to be bitten by the incredibly angry chihuahua.

Bonus:

MC: Why are our Sims married?

*Insert Boy Here*: Uh... that’s weird... I have no clue why they’re doing that...

[lem-20]

**Editing this old post so I can quietly write this and pin it (just in case anyone clicks on my blog or wonders where I am)**

I don't think I can be part of this fandom anymore. I've not been happy for quite some time and as hard as I try I just never quite feel like I fit in here. My lack of time/motivation mean that I struggle to write and read and my crappy social skills mean that I find it hard to build friendships. I've found myself feeling like I just exist and to be honest I always feel a bit lonely. I know the fandom has shrunk a lot over the past few months, which hasn't helped, but I think part of me has always felt this way. I know I'm no ones favourite person and no ones favourite writer and that would be fine if I wasn't so damn insecure. Irl life I'm actually doing okay, but there are times on this site where I feel my confidence being knocked and my insecurities creep in and it affects me outside of tumblr and I hate that. I just can't do it anymore.

Thank you to anyone who has ever read my work or supported me in other ways. I have enjoyed a lot of my time here, but I think it's time to say goodbye ❤️

[oneprompt]

Hi! Can you do a Brook x F! Reader, with a jealous Brook because she likes to spend a lot of time with Usopp and Franky because she's a scientist?

I hope that it makes sense, I can't speak and write english very well but I still try to learn it. I love your posts!! <3

authors note: hello <3 aw , thank you for all the love ! xoxo , and your english is amazing .. keep doing Your best <33 anywho , please enjoy ^^ xoxo

Jealous! Brook x F! Reader

“Y/n-san~! I-“ Brook happily walked into your room before stopping, taken aback by how empty it was. Where had you run off to? I mean, you were often busy and Brook respected that, of course! But you had promised to let Brook perform a new song for you… Had you forgotten, perhaps? He couldn’t help but frown. Ah, well…! I suppose he could search for you. After all, he composed this new tune just for you.

Brook wandered almost aimlessly around The Sunny, humming melodies in his lonesomeness. The Sunny was full of life as always, the loud rumble of laughs and shouting filling the ship deck. It had everybody! Well, almost. The crew was missing Usopp, Franky and…. You! That wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, really. Even as Brook was still rather new to the crew, he was quick to catch on to the closeness you shared with the two men. One could assume it was only out of mutual skills but according to the other shipmates it was more then that.

 Brook couldn’t help but rattle that thought around the hollow cave of his skull. More as in what? Friends? Ah, yes! Had to be, right? Or perhaps... Gasp! Were you... involved with them? Not one...but both? Kya! Brook would be red in the face... if only he had one! The thought of you being romantic with either of them was odd... It was rather lovely to fantasize about you in certain situations but Brook’s heart outweighed his perversion. Boy, it sure did.

Was it because they had beating hearts? Brook got insecure over himself more then one would like to admit. But can you blame him? After being alone for decade after decade, he got awfully attached to his new crew, especially you. 

You were one of the few that didn’t shy away from him within the beginning. The way you gazed at Brook with genuine interest through the fog of Thriller Bark made it impossible for his dim soul to blossom outward, reconnecting to the clutches of love. Even if those looks you gave him were only from a scientific stand point, they still meant the very most to him. Part of him could only hope you had sincere adorition behind your beautiful eyes. 

Brook slithered his way away from the deck, not wanting to be roped into any shenanigans. Not that it didn’t sound fun! Trust me, this man was frowning as he had to turn his back on his eager captain. But Brook was on a mission, a mission of… love? Ah, yes! One of love, certainly! Not that you’d be able to know once he did find you. It was a mission of love to Brook and him alone. He was content with you being unknowing of his love. The probability of you viewing him in the same manner was low. So painfully low.

What did a skeleton have to offer a woman? An alive human woman? Its not like Brook could quickly woo you, not at all. You were always surrounded by handsome men, kind ones as well! A sweet soul was what was most important in a being, right? Brook wanted to believe you would hear him out, that you potentially could look past his eccentric appearance but alas, he could not. You probably just viewed him as a pervert, didn’t you? That would be no good…

It didn’t take long for Brook to reach the workshop, simply looming against the door frame, peering to see what you three were up to. Usopp had his tongue sticking out in concentration, tinkering with a new baton for Nami, perhaps. And Franky was in his full exhibitionist glory, preparing a few mishaps he had upon his wide arms. Perhaps you didnt mind perverts, if you felt comfortable enough to be around a half naked man 24/7! Oh, Brook could only hope.

And there you were, in your constant glimmer of beauty. Even with your hair tangled in a ponytail, goggles on, you looked absolutely enchanting. Like a princess.

“Y/n-san,” Brook said happily as he strided right on into the room. He eagerly awaited your reply, only to be met with nothing. You just didn’t hear him, right? You weren’t ignoring him, were you? Or maybe… you learnt of his feelings! Gasp! Brook’s heart would shatter into two… if only he had one! He couldn’t help but frown as he repeated himself.

And finally, your eyes landed upon the musician. You gave him such a cute smile, one that made Brook nearly squeal out loud. You pushed the safety goggles up from your eyes, showing the skeleton the rest of your face. No, you weren’t a princess… A goddess! You were a goddess! “Hey, Brook.” You hummed, setting aside your equipment. “Is there anything I can help you with?” You asked, giving Brook that smile. That smile that made him feel far too full of love… too cute!

Franky and Usopp shared knowing glances, a huge and cheeky grin pinned on the cyborgs face. Franky wasn’t born yesterday, he can tell what it means to crush and he could definitely tell for the love you and Brook shared for each other. Now, Franky may be an eccentric but the man is smart! Socially, that is...

“Oh-! Why, I just finished a new song a while ago and figured Y/n-san would want to be the first to hear it,” the older man chimed, tipping his top hat ever so slightly. You looked up at Brook, processing his words. The way your face went red in shame was too quick for the musician to process.

“Damn..! Sorry, I totally forgot I was supposed to meet you in my room… I just had a—“ You were quickly cut off by a booming laugh. “I got it, Y/n! Go have a suuuper time with your man!” Franky couldn’t help but snicker as he said such a thing so loudly, more then fully exposing the things you had told him in private about the other man. Your already blushing face was further consumed by an embarrassed flush. Damn it, why did that moron have to say that?

Brook stood there dumbfounded at Franky’s words. Her man? Y/n’s man? Is- is that how everybody saw the two of you? Perhaps there was hope for Brook and his everlasting love for you. Was Franky merely pulling your leg or did you share the affections that Brook felt for you? Brook followed you outward of the workshop, taking further action in the blush that your cheeks carried. You were so cute, so fascinating. He was a sucker for your reactions and expressions. No matter what, Brook found you endearing. Even as you scolded him for his pervy nature or your face crinkled in the most unappealing way as you cried, Brook would always find you to be beautiful. You were the embodiment of grace.

“I don’t mind if you think of me that way, Y/n,” Brook spoke up, his usual emthused tone hushed. “I’d be blushing…. That is, if I had a face.” Ugh, of course he had to slide in a pun… he couldn’t help himself, could he?

Even as Brook said such a crappy joke, your blush didn’t cease. Not in the slightest, no. You fidgeted anxiously, subtly rocking back and fourth on your heels.

“Is— is that so?” you murmured, doing your upmost best to seem composed, keeping your emotions under wraps. Your flustered state worsened as purely bone digits dropped upon your shoulders, scaling upon the creases of your shirt. “Of course, Y/n, my sweet.” The skeleton hummed joyously. “Now, how about I go play my new song for you?”

[everythingthemoontouches]

hello! new here. i just came across another one of your interpretations for someone’s fs and thought it’d be cool to try was well. if you shave time or don’t mind here are my charts. thanks for reading!

Venus darakarka. Charming. Suave. Good with people. Professionally charming. Interpersonal skills. Venus in sagittarius. Learned. Skillful. Active lifestyle. Challenge me. Let's go do fun things. Talk to people in prominent positions. A major life lesson for you, with atmakarka Mars and darakarka venus is to find that balance between directness and diplomatic approach. When to fight and when to ask nicely.

No fight me. I fight you vibe in your chart. You could be turned on by how well they handle conflict. 💕🥵💥💣💦

Manglik : Mars in angular houses : 1/4/7/10 : there ain't no man who can tell me what to do. But witch saturn in the 7th I'm sure your spouse is gonna have his(?) own way of doing things. This is someone disciplined and with a virgo Jupiter they probably won't hesitate to advise you. Since they're also represented by venus, they probably give you suggestions in a helpful constructive manner and not in a critical way (the way I Sometimes do when I think I know better and everyone else is doing it wrong) in India we suggest Manglik not marry a non Manglik. Their temperament, drive, passion and energy levels are not suitably matched. They could think you're starting a fight when you're just trying to make a point.

Listen I think they wanna please you. Make you happy and as an earth sign they really want you to appreciate what they do and feel proud of them. I'm sobbing. They sound really loving. 💕

All that I do, I do for you. For us. To have a beautiful home, comfort and stability we crave. I want us to have the life I didn't have growing up?

Good bone structure. They could have softer rounded features. Big / soulful eyes. Like you just wanna gaze into them.

Correct me if I'm wrong but saturn in the 7th can go through their years feeling like other people always try to control them.

They may come from a lesser economic background than you.

Saturn in the 7th can have a bunch of crappy relationships before they truly settle down with someone who is right for them. Love and duty go hand in hand. You may feel a Little challenged when it comes to expressing love.

In your younger years / naivete, you may draw emotionally manipulative partners. Older. Someone with more power or, stature.

It's advisable to tie the knot After the age of 28. Grow up, figure out what you want from life before you atrat out to find your ideal partner.

Darakarka(Venus) in the house of public recognition-they help your social standing. In a negative exhibit of this energy they could be so charming that they come across looking good even when they're being a jerk to you. The manipulators placement. Specially with that saturn in the 7th. Abusive.

Don't get charmed just cause they look like someone who wants a family or a marriage. 7th house pushya could mean that you naturally draw in people who wanna mother you.

On a positive note this is a person who values commitment, stands by your side through thick and thin and is patient. They're hardworking, dedicated and I feel like this is someone who would care for you even at the end of a rough tiring day themself. Love isn't just fancy dates, butterflies and fluff. It's the sick days, the fights, the challenges, the arguments all the ugly things. They'll stick by you through the worst. Pushya Nakshatra is based on the nourishing nature of cows milk. Thus partner invests in you emotionally and financially. Giving you what you need. Even if the medicine is bitter sometimes. They could buy you lots of food or help you regulate your diet?

As the venusian, your spouse could coach you in this. I knew a guy in school who was always coaching me on how to be more polite when dealing with administration. I thought it was a waste of time cuz but I see how courtesy makes people feel more warmly and respond better to you.

Libra venus

Jupiter in virgo : not the best. Thoughtful. Meticulous. Caring. Philosophical. Service. Caring. But also overtly critical.

Jupiter in Chitra could really like playing devils advocate when giving advice. Could be great at finance, travel, tradition family secret related advice. Hardly ever applies the same thought or experience to their own self.

People may have thought you or they would go on to do your PhD or some equivalent degree but you don't feel very passionate about it.

So, Ketu with Jupiter usuay shows a delay in marriage for those seeking a husband. Or that it could be a very spiritual connection as opposed to a super physical one. With your 4th house Mars, you could be someone who doesn't back down from a fight, defending what you feel is right. There's a lot of passion. Your ascendant and jupiter are both ruled by Mars. Please don't settle for someone with a lower sex drive than yours you'd probably be super discontent if you did and it would cause greater fights.

Mercury and sun in the 8th suggest that you could want them to talk to you in bed. Keep things playful perhaps. Since Jupiter and Ketu are both in virgo, a mercury ruled sign I feel that they would be quite clear and precise in the way in which they communicate their fantasies, desires/secrets with you. You'd feel comfortable sharing stuff with them. Alternately, they might just instinctively gwt where you're coming from in the bedroom 🥰 this gives me a bit of ' how did you know to DO Thatttt ☺️💦' energy.Could have really skilled fingers🔥

Astrology and tarot masterlist

[arvandus]

So hopefully I got in on time! Btw, I’ve been absolutely loving your HC’s, the stutter one was friggin adorable! I love soft Dabi, there’s not much of him out there in stories 😢

Anyway! I was wondering if you could do HC’s with Dabi for someone who may be deaf or just hard of hearing? Ifff your comfortable, I would love to see what he would do for a male s/o (or platonic friend/league member, etc, whichever you choose!) If you don’t want to do this it’s completely fine and you can switch it to ambiguous/female (I don’t know if you have ever done men before haha!)

Hello! I’m so flattered for this ask because you’re trusting me to portray something that’s personal to you and outside of my own experience. I can absolutely do this with a Male Reader (my first one!).

I’m not sure what type or level of hearing loss you had in mind, so I did my best with this and went with an acquired hearing loss that’s moderate-to-severe. Also, I wrote Reader as someone who wears hearing aids. I hope that’s all right, since that’s typically the case for those with more severe hearing loss (otherwise communication is really difficult to do, since I don’t suspect Dabi would know sign language). Also, I got a couple of cute ideas that I really wanted to fit into this that follow more of a friends-to-lovers sort of vibe rather than established relationship. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!


Headcanons for Dabi x M!Reader who’s Deaf/Hard of Hearing (HOH)

Warnings: None.

Word Count: 1240

💙 When you first join the LOV, Dabi will be skeptical at first, as he is with all things. How could someone with a hearing loss really be of any value to the league? He can’t help but wonder what skills you’re bringing to the table to that convinced Shigaraki to allow you to join.

💙 Dabi doesn’t interact with you right away... he prefers to observe. Part of it is that he doesn’t care for attachments, even amongst his comrades. Another is that he doesn’t expect you to last very long in the League. If he does interact, it’ll be through snarky quips and insults. After all, he loves getting under other people’s skin... it makes him feel like has an advantage.

💙 So, it goes without saying that Dabi will be a hard nut to crack at first. He’ll definitely have some crappy preconceived notions about people with hearing loss that he’ll get to face as he’s forced to get to know you.

💙 For example, he learns super fast that your hearing has little to do with your intelligence. You’re fucking smart and more than capable of handling yourself, much to his surprise. You quickly become an important member of the team, and even Dabi can’t really argue your value. It only makes his interest in you grow, his skepticism giving way to curiosity.

💙 Another thing he learns about you... you value your independence and hate when others coddle or dote on you due to your hearing loss. The first time Toga had tried to treat you as something fragile (granted she was trying to be nice), you’d quickly put her in her place. Dabi couldn’t help but grin at that exchange...

💙 The great thing about Dabi sitting back and observing everyone else most of the time is that he gets to learn by proxy how to interact with you.

💙 Don’t mumble or talk too fast. Don’t look away when talking to you. Talk more clearly, and slower, but for God’s sake, don’t treat you like you’re dumb. You’re hard of hearing, not stupid.

💙 Even with all of that taken into consideration though, he’ll notice that while you seem to do fine in one-on-one exchanges in quiet environment, you’ll withdraw more in group gatherings. Is the chattering of multiple voices too much? Is the noise overwhelming? Even he can’t always tolerate the prattling of the social butterflies of the group, so he wouldn’t blame you if it got under your skin too.

💙 His interest will finally be piqued when he watches you retreat during a rather boisterously loud game night amongst the League. He’ll follow quietly behind you, watching as you pass your own room in favor of the stairwell leading up to the rooftop.

💙 You don’t notice he’s followed you until he sits next to you. Your eyes betray your surprised at his presence.

💙 “What are you doing here?” you demand.

💙 He’ll give you a grin and a cock of his head. “You didn’t seem like you were havin’ much fun back there. Got anything to do with these?” he’ll tap your hearing aid playfully.

💙 You huff at him. “If you want me to hear you better, you’ll need to sit on my other side. My hearing aid battery died.”

💙 “You don’t have a backup?” he asks as he adjusts his position.

💙 You shake your head.

💙 “Doesn’t sound too bad.” He’ll tease. “I wish I could turn off my ears, especially when Toga laughs.”

💙 You give him a glare at his insensitive comment. “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

💙 He raises an eyebrow at you and think for a moment, before looking back out over the cityscape. “Why don’tcha tell me about it then.”

💙 You give him a skeptical look but he waits silently for you to continue. His smirk is gone as his sharp eyes glance back at you. He's serious.

💙 You’ll finally open up to him, explaining how hard it can be sometimes. How noisy environments can make your hearing aids nearly useless when the noise is too much, when everyone is talking at once. How frustrating it is to not be able to follow a conversation let alone participate, and how it can sometimes make people assume things about you. At best, they’ll assume you can hear fine with your hearing aids and therefore assume you’re being aloof or don’t want to interact. At worst, they’ll think your slow or stupid, and look at you with pity.

💙 Dabi will listen, but he won’t offer much up except sarcastic remarks about the others in an attempt to make you feel better. After all, sympathy isn’t his strong suit. But you’ll find yourself feeling better by the end, just grateful to be able to vent to someone.

💙 When you smile at him and tell him thanks for listening, it’ll take him by surprise. Not because of your reaction – he expected that, at least. What’ll surprise him is his reaction to it – a strange sense of satisfaction will wash over him, filling him with an unfamiliar warmth. He realizes - a moment too late, before he can bring down his barriers - that he likes seeing you smile, especially when it’s at him.

💙 You’ll feel slightly closer after that, finding more opportunities to hang out on the quiet rooftop and chat.

💙 He’ll surprise you on your next visit with a brand-new pack of hearing aid batteries. You’ll give him a suspicious look, asking where he got them and how he knew what kind to get you, but he’ll give you a wicked grin and brush off your question with an evasive comment.

💙 It won’t take long for you to start developing a crush on him, and against your better judgment, you find yourself staring at him a lot more and finding ways to be around him more. Hanging out at the bar, going on missions together, sitting next to him during the LOV discussions… you try to brush it off as ‘becoming friends,’ but deep down you know better.

💙 It doesn’t take long for Dabi to take notice and begin to suspect that maybe… just maybe… all of your secret glances and increased attention aren’t strictly platonic.

💙 What a wonderful turn of events. He wasn’t sure if you were interested in men, but now he’s 99% sure you are... or at the very least, interested in him.

💙 It leaves his skin feeling hotter than usual, his heart pounding in his chest with excitement. He wonders if you know... or even suspect... that he watches you too in mutual attraction.

💙 He’ll start testing the waters, just to make sure, of course. Hit you with a few flirty nicknames to see how you react. As soon as he sees you fluster and flounder in obvious embarrassment, he’ll know he’s got you, and it makes your exchanges only that much more entertaining.

💙 The more he learns about you, the more interested he becomes. He’ll start to do research on ways to support you with your hearing loss. It’ll be purely out of curiosity, of course... it’s not like he’s gonna go out of his way or anything. But he ends up finding himself down the rabbit hole of hearing aid supports, and learns about Bluetooth capabilities, FM systems, infrared systems... ways to send targeted noise – like speech for instance – straight to your hearing aids, bypassing any pesky background noise.

💙 It won’t take long for him to get an idea – two birds with one stone, so to speak...

💙 You’ll be on the rooftop together, when he says, “I gotta surprise for ya.”

💙 He pulls out a box that’s labelled ‘Dynamic FM System.’

💙 If you try to reach for it though, he’ll hold it out of your reach. “ah ah ah... we gotta find the right place to try it out.”

💙 He’ll lead you downstairs and you’ll think he’s heading to the common space where the others are, but instead he takes you outside of the hideout, leading you down the street.

💙 “Where are we going?”

💙 “You’ll see.”

💙 The two of you will end up outside of a bar. Not just any bar, though… the line of patrons is already a huge hint of what you’ll find inside.

💙 “Wait isn’t this….?” You’ll start.

💙 Dabi will only smirk at you though, before he grabs your hand and leads you in.

💙 Inside will be loud. So loud you have to turn down the volume on your hearing aids, and too loud for you to hear anything of value. But as you look around, your suspicions are confirmed - instead of the usual opposite sexes pairing up like you find at most bars, this one is different. Men are pairing up with men, women are pairing up with women. Your heart is beating like a drum in your chest, your pulse racing with excitement. Of all the places for Dabi to bring you…

💙 You keep close to Dabi, holding onto his arm. He loves that, loves that you’re looking to him for protection. And protect you he does, his eyes threatening violence to anyone who stares too long at you.

💙 He’ll sit you down at the bar with him in the center of the noise while drunken gay couples flirt over their drinks and a group of girls laugh in the corner. He’ll say something to the bartender, and a minute later, two fresh drinks are place before the two of you.

💙 He won’t try to talk to you yet as he opens the box and begins taking out all of the pieces. He’ll plug in the small, cylinder-like component into your hearing aid - the receiver. He’ll be completely up in your space when he does it too, grinning at you with his ocean blue eyes. In his hand he holds the transmitter that contains a button with a microphone on it.

💙 Once everything is hooked up properly, he’ll speak into the mic, his finger on the button.

💙 “Hey there.” He says. His voice comes through crystal clear.

💙 “Hey.” You smile.

💙 Once Dabi knows you can hear him, his devilish grin will widen and he’ll lean casually against the bar counter as he stares at you, his eyes drinking you in. “Have I ever told you how hot you are?”

💙 That’s when it finally clicks… Dabi is actually interested in you. And he’s taken you out on a date.

💙 BONUS: If the bar scene ends up being too much for you, he’ll be more than happy to spend the rest of your date on your favorite rooftop spot with some take-out. 10/10 will kiss you by the end of the date.

[olivetreehugger]

SnK Scouts/Veterans as Health Care Workers

Note: features Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Connie, Sasha, Levi, Erwin and Hange. A part two to my “SnK Warriors as HCWs” post found here. warning: mentions of blood, trauma, gore (it’s healthcare). Also, I know Hange is nb, I headcanon them as female, so I will be using she/her pronouns. 

Eren: this boy is definitely too involved in everything and has too many people depending on him at once to not be a nurse. The kid barely passed the NCLEX but that didn’t stop him from applying to every trauma center within a 25 mile radius of him. He got hired as a night shift trauma ICU nurse  and he frequently picks up shifts in the ER. He wears the cheapest scrubs he can find, often stained with ink in the pockets area. He isn’t a shitty nurse per se but there are tasks that still need to be done at the end of his shift and he gives a crappy report that’s missing too many details. Nurses hate picking up his patients, it’s always a mess. His charting is really spotty and he gets called into the manager’s office all the time to fix it. 

Still, he tries really hard to improve his time management and skills. He wants to be like his friends Mikasa and Reiner, who are the best nurses he knows. He wants to be involved in the traumatic cases and emergencies because he wants to learn as much as he possibly can. He’s really good at wound care, for some reason (hint hint). He’s kinda cocky sometimes too, which can be troublesome when Dr. Galliard is working. People know to steer clear of those two when they’re both  in the ER. Also, Eren always has a black cloud around him; whenever he works it’s gonna be a hella busy day in the hospital. Lots of emergency surgeries, intubations, codes and deaths. He’ll always jump in to help you if your patient is crashing, though, no matter how busy he is. 

Mikasa: she’s a prodigy. She was a straight ‘A’ student in nursing school, got a perfect 75 on the NCLEX and was immediately hired to the trauma ICU after doing a short internship there. She worked night shift for a year but her sleep schedule was so so fucked she started having night terrors, so she switched to day shift. Eren still calls her a traitor for it :/. She keeps trying to get him to switch over but he just hisses at her and threatens to chug a case of Monster energy drinks. She hasn’t given upon him yet, though.

This girl’s work ethic is beyond measure. She comes in exactly at 6:30 am, looks up her patients, takes report, gives a great update to the doctors when they round, and provides impeccable care to her patients. She knows exactly which treatments the doctors will order before they even speak. She’s incredible at inserting IVs--everyone in the hospital knows Mikasa Ackerman can put an 18g in a 90  yr old lady’s arm AND get blood return (just trust me, it’s flipping impossible). She has great skill when it comes to emergency situations and is a big believer in team work. If she notices your patient’s crashing and you don’t know what to do, she’ll calmly coach you and save your patient, too. All before lunch time. 

It doesn’t take Mikasa long to be promoted to charge nurse. When she’s in charge all the reports, paperwork and audits are completed before shift change. She divides the patient assignments really well and is very fair to the new grads. All around she’s an incredible nurse and leader on her unit, but don’t be fooled. If it’s been a rough day, Mikasa will get in her car and sob so loud her throat goes raw. A lot of people depend on her and working in a trauma ICU is really, really demanding. A lot of patients are demanding, rude and busy. She has a lot of trouble with stress management and is thinking of cutting her hours down so she can catch a break. Someone please hug her <3

Armin: for some reason my brain is just SCREAMING respiratory therapist. Like, I imagine this beautiful blond boy in gray scrubs (the color for RT’s in my hospital) going around helping intubate patients, giving nebulizer treatments and doing blood gases. I can just see him huffing and puffing when the attending doctor is overzealous about weaning vent support. -“Why are we changing the patient to pressure support? do you see how tachypneic he is on volume control?”

-“are you gonna put in the order? if not, your patient’s gonna be on PRVC all day, I’m not changing it without an order”

-“Doc, the patient looks like crap and their blood gas looks like death...oh, you still wanna extubate? ok, well I’m gonna leave the ventilator in here just in case. better yet, let me call a pastor in here, too.”

This kid is sassy af and he knows it. He’s smart af too, knows everything there is to know about the lungs and respiratory care. Knows every ventilator mode better than most doctors. Will certainly tell a resident off for ordering the wrong type of inhaler for a patient. He’s so damn intelligent that he even made the ice queen Annie melt like a popsicle. 

 He has no chill when it comes to his patients and even less chill (like -4078875874670) when a doctor gets in his way. For this reason, Armin has recently been toying with the idea of going to PA school so he can have a little more autonomy. He works al over the hospital, usually frequenting the trauma, CV, and medical ICU. The nurses there love him. 

Jean: Jeannie boy. Baby. Sweetie. He’s also a nurse. He is strictly dayshift and trauma. When he first started, he thought he’d do a year in the ICU and then go to CRNA school. He didn’t want to be around sickly patients with hopes and dreams and fears--it was too icky for him. But, over time, he learned that he LOVED trauma. Jean loves the controlled chaos that comes with the ugly, bloody messes that roll in through the ICU’s doors. He always gears up for trauma season (summer time) by bringing Dunkin Donuts iced coffee for everyone on the unit (day and night shift because he’s a supportive king). He gets really good at dealing with arrogant trauma residents and ortho docs who think they’re hot shit. When Jean sees a resident yelling at a nurse, he jumps in and threatens to have their license revoked. He will dig under their skin and page them incessantly throughout the day, too, just to get back at them. Jean is not a fan of lateral violence in the workplace, no sir. 

He always, always makes sure every room is stocked and new bags are hanging for the next shift. He has a thing where if things aren’t properly organized on the unit his brain just spazzes. He’s on the unit council and education committee because he also loves to teach the new grads. He also doubles as charge nurse, when management can’t be there (there can be one or more charge nurses amongst the staff, they usually work different days, though) He and Mikasa work so well together, teaming up to get tasks done, coding patients, running them down to get scanned, etc. People joke they’re the mom and dad of the unit. It makes them both blush <3 (Eren doesn’t like it, lol)

Jean loves to see patients healing from horrendous injuries, he’s constantly cracking jokes with the awake patients to try to make them feel better, and he’s really good at calming anxious family members down. Our boy just makes such good connections with people. He’s the guy you call when your confused patient is one second away from ripping his breathing tube out. He can convince the most restless, agitated patient to chill out. He’s got the voice for it. Also people love his mullet. It looks great. 

Connie: I really didn’t know at first but I feel like Connie would make a great physical therapist. He’s got great energy, he’s funny and I could see him dancing to Earth, Wind & Fire in front of his patients to hype them up for therapy. He’d be very sweet with them 

Sasha: I’m sick and tired of the food jokes, quite honestly. She’s more than that. In my mind, she’s an occupational therapist, helping disabled patients learn to feed, dress and clean themselves again. She works directly with Connie as they round on all their patients in the hospital, they make a great team!  She’s extremely patient and would make a very good nurse, but is unsure of where life is taking her. That is until she meets Niccolo the dietician in the cafeteria, and she falls hard. He encourages her to follow her heart and she does!  

Levi: Hm. This one stumped me. Levi is a bit...cold. It’s not like he has incredible social skills. He’s meticulous and focused and kinda mean? He reminds me of an anesthesiologist, tbh. Like he’ll sedate the shit outta you for surgery, makes sure you don’t die on the table, and then drops you off to the unit as fast as he can. He never takes off his mask while in the hospital and he scrubs maybe four times before surgery. He is very good at medication calculations and knows everything about nerve blocks, intubation, pain medication and sedation. He can look at a person and just KNOW what kind of sedative to give and how much. Your blood pressure will never bottom out while he’s there, he’ll warn the surgeon and immediately get that norepinephrine started.

 If Zeke is the one operating, Levi is on his ass to finish up the surgery ASAP and to not linger, because Zeke takes his time and ignores the tele monitor alarming in the background. After surgery, this 5′2 demon will scream at the 6′ resident about the importance of blood pressure management and sedation in neurosurgical patients. Levi plays no games and he also just really hates Zeke lol

He seems like a jerk but genuinely cares about getting his peeps through surgery. His favorite surgeon to work with is Hange Zoe, because she’s brilliant and fast, but also cognizant of her patient’s hemodynamics. Levi likes taking trauma cases as long as it’s with her. When he drops a patient off to the trauma ICU or goes there to intubate, he makes sure Jean or Mikasa are there because he knows everything is gonna go smoothly. He trusts them a lot. He likes Armin, too and even let him intubate a few times. On his breaks, he’s drinking tea and reading a Williams & Sonoma catalog or scrolling through cleaning Tik Tok lol.

Erwin: This man. This beautiful and hunky beefcake. Omg. I HC him as someone who went to nursing school, became a charge nurse on the trauma unit back in the early 2000′s and fell in love with it. Erwin would eventually fall in love with leadership and educating, too. He went back to school and earned his Doctorate of Nursing Practice (a practice doctorate). He managed the trauma unit for ten years before his brilliant leadership skills and wicked smart brain got him elected as the Director of Trauma Surgery recently. He is the first person with a nursing degree and DNP to ever accomplish this, so it’s very controversial. A lot of toxic doctors threaten to leave the hospital for this (because they’re assholes), but Erwin threatens to fire them in response and it usually shuts them up. 

He often holds lectures in the hospital auditorium. With a mind and voice like his, people are so drawn in by him. He advocates for nursing staff, for reimbursement when continuing their education, better staffing, parking, etc. He makes nice with doctors and gets them to sign petitions for the nurses to get these things. He’s a bit manipulative He’s also a fantastic manager and director, he’s really good at negotiating things. The nurses and residents all love him because he rounds on every ICU frequently, brings food, and asks them how he can help. He can be a bit daunting because of his height and deep voice but once he starts talking to you, you just get sucked in. All around an absolute king. 

Hange: This character reminds me of a trauma surgeon and intensivist (ICU doctor) we have, Dr. Omi. A great surgeon, really really smart, but takes absolutely NO bullshit. She will yell at you if you freeze during intubating. She wants you to recite every step before you take it, otherwise she’ll take the tube from you and do it herself. In surgery, she’s the same way. She wants you to learn, but by her standards. If she asks a question, you better know the answer or fess up right away, she doesn’t like the “uhms” of uncertainty as you try to search for a shitty response. Either you know it or you don’t. And if you don’t, she’ll teach you. Yeah she can be rough around the edges, but she’s got a big heart. She loves her trauma team. She buys them breakfast and gives them funny personalized gifts. One time, she bought an apply tree for Mikasa and brought it to her car at the end of a shift. Mikasa forgot to plant it and it died in her backseat. Hange will sometimes ask, “Mikasa, how’s your apple tree growing?” and Mikasa will lie through her teeth. “It’s growing!” Fess up, Mikasa. Those google search apple trees are starting to look familiar.

All around Hange loves to work and teach. She is a wonderful trauma surgeon and has saved tons of lives.  

[pandemilkbread]

nine days // bakugo katsuki

author’s note: here is the sequel to paubaya! it can be read as a stand alone fic, but it’ll feel better once you read the first one. 

please enjoy ♡ please leave a like or comment if you enjoyed it,, it’ll mean alot aaaaa. also, beware. this is pretty long! 

ʙᴀᴋᴜɢᴏ ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴋ��

nine days. (angst!fic) part 1

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: It took eight, just eight days to fall in love with you; and as dense as Bakugo was, it’ll take him a lifetime (or two) to admit it.

i.

The idea of love has always been a difficult subject to comprehend. 

And to a young boy at the tender age of four, whose typical acts of love revolved on beating the crap out of anyone who dared to mess with him (or his friends, though he’d rather not call them that), the subject was more troublesome to speak out loud. 

Which was quite contrary to the Bakugo household persona that radiated pure noise throughout the whole course of the day, a feat their neighbor would love to refute if they were able to.

(how a detached and sound proof home such as theirs could release that much clamor, they hardly knew.)

However as loud as the Bakugos were, it’s a no-brainer to realize how quiet they became in regard to their own feelings. The eccentric family breathed the words “show don’t tell” like a mantra; the essence of touch being the utmost way of showing affection—something Bakugo Katsuki never truly understood until one Saturday afternoon. 

Bakugo loved his quirk. His favorite part? Not one single part, but a bunch load of favorites. 

Blasting shit into smithereens. 

Screams of wow! and cool! from his followers. 

(”the imaginary people in his head, who continually shower him with praise.” not that he’d admit it.)

The sizzle of sweat on his fingers. 

…And exactly everything else that buffed up his currently fragile ego.

The worst part? 

The smell of burnt cloth that followed his usual fits of excitement. 

The lukewarm water plummeting from the ceiling sprinklers.

…Most especially the whack that vibrated through his skull when his mother found out his only son almost managed to burn down the whole kitchen. 

He took it personally, very personally. What happened? An accident!  The All Might segment thrilled him to the point of attempting a somersault, one that he succeeded in doing! Was it his fault a measly floor couldn’t handle his greatness? Yet, how does his crappy mom reward him for this feat— a full throttle to the head. 

“Katsuki,” his father muttered, rousing him from his thoughts. The scent of antiseptic lingered in the air, forcing him to scrunch his nose in disgust. Was he so weak to need a dab of a stupid medical solution to—

“You could have gotten hurt. Don’t be stubborn.” He sighed. “Your mom was very worried.”

Bakugo grunted. ‘A pissy way of showing it!’ He’d retaliate, but the downcast glint in his father’s eyes stopped him. He was clearly worried for his son’s wellbeing. 

“...Could’ve said so.” He sputtered out. (unwillingly, of course.)

“Sometimes you have to look past words to truly understand how someone is feeling, Katsuki.” A small grin perched on Masaru’s face. “People love differently. You just need to spot how.”

ii.

“I like you! Can we please start seeing each other?”

“Hah? Who the fuck are you?”

One tear, two tears, three tears. With that, the girl ran, and down the middle school staircase she went. 

Bakugo hardly understood why he was invited to the rooftop in the first place. No. He knew a confession would take place, that was obvious. All thanks to his fellow female classmates who couldn’t stop gossiping about it. One more ‘oh God! she’s going to confess to Bakugo-san later!’ and he’d burst, literally.

No. He couldn’t grasp the whole idea of confessing your love to a stranger. Bakugo knew nothing of the teary-eyed student, except she was a crybaby. Besides, it irritated him to the point of seething. Why confess your love only to run out halfway when things go sour? 

It wasted his time. Time he could have spent training, studying, doing something important. 

Don’t misunderstand. Bakugo was not a cruel person, he never was. Just one with below par conversational skills. He wanted to know the reasons, not disregard her feelings. He wanted to understand the why’s and what’s of the equation; the basis of what directed her feelings onto him. 

But, he would never accept her proposition, even if she managed to spur out a million reasons. Bakugo never saw himself in a position to love someone, it was too troublesome. Hell, he never understood the whole idea of love itself. 

He scoffed. If he had found himself fancying a person, it would be one akin to himself. 

Someone strong. 

Someone who spoke their mind. 

Someone who could handle him. 

Someone who—

Whack! A shoe smacked him out of his dazed stupor. Apparently, the friends of so-called stranger who shuffled off the rooftop in a crying heap told what transpired. The whole girl squad fashioned themselves into a line meant to reprimand his actions. 

“You could have softened the blow, you know!” One of them hissed. “In a way that wouldn’t hurt her feelings!”

“Yeah. You’re pretty selfish, Bakugo-san. You could have at least tried to hang out before deciding!” Another chided.

The act ignited his anger, leaving him an irked mess. 

Soften the blow? What did they expect him to do? Listen to the confession wholeheartedly, seemingly interested in actually dating the other party? Hell no. Why would he do so? It would only make the rejection hurt more. No matter how you put it a rejection is still a rejection; and a rejection will hurt. 

Selfish? He had done the girl a huge favor. More or less she would finally move on and treat the event as a lesson; focus on someone who had the time for affection. 

Was it his fault for not feeling the same way? Fuck no. He owed them nothing. 

“Don’t wanna. Too much of a hassle.” Bakugo sneered. 

And, oh boy were women scary. Nothing was more terrifying than a group of women who managed to suppress Hell’s fury and rage into their whole being. Hypocrites. Speaking of softening blows when one hit from any single one of them could break bones. 

God. He hated their quirks. 

(scratch that. he hated the sound of his mother’s cackling the most. ‘now what did i tell you about pissing off girls!’ she scolded.)

iii. 

Bakugo was a lot of things: perceptive, intelligent, strong— Hell he could list down a thousand adjectives if he wanted to. But, he was never the observant one. 

Sheer power? He was fucking amazing. 

Keen leadership? Bakugo is your guy!

Socializing skills? …Working on it. But, God yeah!

As perceptive as he was, his ego took a bit of a hit the moment he crashed into her. And as much as he would like to boast it was her fault in the first place, with the stacks of books that perched on her forearms, he knew better than to daze off in the middle of a crowded hallway. 

The books shook in momentum, and in return one hand steadied the massive collection. The blonde Pikachu outwardly reached out preventing the crash, a feat Kaminari would evidently use as a bragging tool later on. 

“Ah, sorry about that! Spiky over here’s in a daze after the math quiz,” Kaminari snickered. 

“Says the cheater who got caught on question one.” Bakugo retorted with an eyeroll to match. 

The other person in question huffed out a breathy laugh, the books shook once again in reaction, forcing her to side step to balance them out. “That’s fine. Sorry for blocking the way too.” The stranger reassured. 

By then, Bakugo’s stomach growled. God was he hungry. He casually followed the flow of people toward the lunch area. A few steps later his blonde companion tapped him on the shoulder, almost frantically. 

“I-I’mma help carry the books to—” Kaminari whipped his head back and forth at him and the other person walking the opposite direction. “So... yeah! Go without me!”   

Bakugo grunted. A non-verbal consent which easily meant “go, I don’t care”, or more likely “bye. i’m fucking hungry”. He couldn’t understand why Kaminari would go that far for someone he barely knew, especially when their whole body was covered by the stacks of books. Suspicious if you asked him. 

The boy was simply unpredictable and troublesome. Nah. He had no time to think about the electrical cord, he wanted to eat. Once he arrived at the dining hall, the other three constituents of his group sat on their usual hangout place. Thankfully (he won’t admit it) the eccentric red head ordered his regular lunch for him, allowing Bakugo to immediately slide into the table. 

“Bahkuwgo! Whersh Kahmiyari?” Pinky blurted, her mouth filled with food. 

His eyebrows furrowed. Where was Pikachu? “Shithead’s busy.” 

Bakugo returned to the matter at hand, his aching stomach, and began chewing. Obviously, the angry porcupine had no time to gossip about the who, what, where, and when’s, hello? Stomach first. His ears on the other hand had no shut-off button, prompting him to listen in the conversation rather irately. 

“I told him to study! Three nights ago! And what happens? He decides to write down the whole syllabus into his hands!” 

Sero sighed. “Mina. He’s helpless and will never learn—”

“Didn’t you copy off him too?” Kirishima chortled. “I saw you look over his answers!”

The black haired boy feigned shock. ��Are you assuming I cheated? I thought we were friends!” Seconds of thought later, his eyes widened in real shock. “If you saw me looking... it means you looked too!”

“Bro. I wouldn’t cheat. It’s against my honor—” 

“Oh my God! All three of you are idiots.” Mina gushed. 

“Says the girl who left the whole back page em-empty.” Sero snickered, his palm jabbing his chest to dislodge the food stuck in his throat. 

Kirishima gasped. “There’s a back page? The—”

“Hey! How do you know? You’re seated at the third row! So you’ve really been chea—”

The thwack of a lunch tray interrupted the conversation, an achievement only possible by the fourth idiot of the group. The lightning bolt returned from the alleged errand in a sputtering mess; like he would be when overloaded by his quirk, almost but not quite. 

“Denki! What took you so long? I bet Aizawa-sensei decided to talk some sense into you!” Mina teased, tilting her head in confusion when the blonde suddenly dazed off. 

Bakugo smacked the Kaminari on the forehead, rather lightly. “...Idiot’s broken.”

“No... I met an angel...” The chargebolt mumbled. 

“Here we go again.” Sero shook his head in response. “Who is it this time?”  

“Shush! She’s here!” He hissed. “Bakugo bumped into her earlier. She had these big books—”

“Bro! That’s no way to talk to a girl—” 

“No! Not that! Real books! So, they were heavy and... Yeah. I helped her carry them to Recovery Girl— and yeah!” 

“You’re not making any sense.” Sero advised. 

“Shut up! She might hear us!” Kaminari gawked. “...She’s so pretty...”

Four sets of eyes travelled towards the person the Pikachu was ogling at, a silent agreement among all five of them to be as unsuspecting as possible. Evidently, she was a simple normal high school girl whose smile seemed to radiate glee likely from her co-classmates who sat with her. 

Bakugo surveyed her face, and then onto her gestures and actions. A Goddess? Huh. The girl seemed pretty normal to him, no one special. Kaminari unmistakably gushed over another woman, like he usually did for no reason at all. 

“Where’s she from?” Bakugo asked, rather boredly.

“Ah, yeah! I don’t know.” The lover-boy continued ogling. “...She’s not from the Hero department for sure.”

“No shit, Sherlock.” 

iv. 

Bakugo hated many things; failing tests (he’s too smart to fail), winning without actual merit, God he despises losing even more, Deku (he doesn’t actually, too prideful to oppose it though), nagging— He hates Aizawa’s nagging the most. 

It must have something to do with the nonchalant tone, more like dead and spiritless if you asked him, the all knowing attitude, the deep timbre of ‘Bakugo. Fix that up. If I find out you’ve been bleeding all over the floor. Good luck.’, the threatening staring contest thereafter, and the resolution: him walking furiously to the nurses’ office. 

He groaned. It was a tiny scratch. Maybe a bruise, or two. The gash on his temple stung, not just physically. The reason why he was cut in the first place was all because of shitty Pikachu blabbing about his fucking angel. If he said “You’re just jeaaaalous” one more time, he would explode. 

Bakugo warned him. Multiple times. Kirishima could vouch it. But, no. Bolty decided to repeat the phrase manifold of times, leading him to screech a “shut the fuck up!”, causing Pinky to scream, in succession scared Shitty Hair forcing him to activate his quirk—

Fuck that. In short, it was all thanks to the living and breathing phone charger. 

Bakugo gripped the clinic door and slammed it open. The quicker he found Recovery Girl the quicker he returned to class and beat the shit out of Pikachu. Yeah. He’d do that, but instead he found her. 

For fucks sake. The indirect reason why he was in this state. 

He marched toward the desk, dragging his feet in a somewhat stomping manner. The way she blankly stared irritated him more. Was she just going to stare? Bakugo rolled his eyes. Did she think he was pathetic to come in for a slight scratch?

He had no choice. Not his fucking choice. 

“What the fuck are you looking at?” 

Finally. The girl roused from her state of daze and stood up. Now all he needed to do was ask— nah, he’d wait for the head nurse himself. 

The other person in the room darted her eyes to him and a clock on the wall almost quizzically, as if she was contemplating what to do. With that, she spun around and faced him. 

“She’s not here. Bear with it for a sec, let me get something to help.” She mumbled. 

Oh? The girl wasn’t a bystander after all. She reached for a small kit inside a cabinet in the wall. Her hands then beckoned to a chair and it was his cue to sit down. 

This gave him ample time to observe the woman who’s been driving him nuts. Through the oddball Kaminari of course. 

First of all, she was no goddess. Looked more like an enraged chipmunk on Christmas morning. Her cheeks puffed up in concentration, dabbing antiseptic on his temple. How Kaminari fell for her, he had no idea. Not surprising though, he’d fall for the whole female populace if he had the time for it. 

Second, why the fuck would he be jealous! What was there to be jealous about? Pikachu should be the envious one. The girl he fawned for happened to be the same woman in charge of cleaning his wounds. No. Not wounds. Scratches. Stupid scratches. Her eyes glazed in utter focus at the task of hand, this beat Kaminari’s “watching habits” any day. 

Hell, he was a tad excited. Using this incident as a tool to finally make the idiot shut up. The imminent power he’d have over the crappy blonde. He would bring it up on every occasion possible, well— not every one. Bakugo did have mercy for the goofball. So, maybe five times a week. Almost enough to make up for all the weeks of his bantering. 

Third, he thought, wouldn’t it be better if he introduced you to Kaminari instead? Yeah, he barely knew you. Even so, it was worth a shot. Maybe referring you to the Pikachu would be better in the long run. Maybe, the experience could humble him. Bakugo shook his head. No. Even if he managed to coerce you into meeting Bolty, there was no guarantee you’d actually like him. 

Then there was the impending heartbreak and sobbing and whining and complaining. Nevermind. He’d go through so much shit for a tiny bit of satisfaction. Scratch that. 

Anyway, what was so great about you? You weren’t from the hero course. Obviously. Bakugo knew most of the students from that department. Although he couldn’t remember names, faces seemed to pop up in his mind. You didn’t have an awesome quirk. Hell, if you did, he recalled no one who looked like you from the sports festival. Business department? He assumed people like them don’t intern for the clinic. General department then? 

Bakugo growled. Why was he trying to understand you? You were nothing to him. A simple stranger who crossed paths with first time, and highly for the last time once the whole ordeal was over. God. He’ll kill Kaminari for this. 

At that instant, Bakugo felt repetitive pressure on head. It took him a few seconds to realize she patted him. Like a kid!? Fuck no. His ego couldn’t take her treating him as a child. A small vein popped on his forehead and when he was about to berate her for her actions, apparently she spoke first. 

“Good boy, you can leave now.” With. A. Matching. Grin.

Fuck no. This was worse. You didn’t treat him as a child, he was a pet to you! A pet? Why a pet!? He wanted to wipe that dumb smile off your face. You were exactly more annoying than Pikachu ever was! 

Her cheeks flooded pink from the small laugh she released.  Bakugo’s eyes hovered over to yours and one though popped up: cute. 

What. The. Actual. Fuck. 

Imaginary steam evaporated from the top of his head. Cute? Cute! Gross. The woman in front of him wasn’t cute. She was fucking annoying. He bet his mind spelled u.g.l.y wrong. The scratch on his head fucked up his intellect. 

Bakugo immediately stood up, pointing an accusing finger at her. “What’dya call me, ugly!?”

v. 

Anyone who thought Bakugo was the type of person to run away from a fight would be met with the indignant monster himself, threatening the offender with fury akin to the devil.  

It’ll take a million years before Bakugo willingly scampered off the battlefield without dealing a punch (or two). 

However it would take longer for him to admit he was running away from you. No. He wasn’t ‘running’ per se, he was observing the situation. The whole clinic event left him irked and in a sense, intrigued. 

Now that he thought about it, anyone who met his “angry” side were prone to either a. running; b. crying; c. anger; and d. all of the above; and in rare cases: e. laughing. He assumed anyone who laughed at him after his usual feats of anger were the real creepy ones— or idiots reincarnate. 

The moment he knew of her existence, he found himself noticing her more and more. He remembered specs of her daily routine from mere perception, something he hated he did, yet couldn’t stop. 

She hated tomatoes, he gathered from a passing conversation on the way to the lunch room. 

She hated snakes even more. Something to do with a childhood fear that forced her to go to the hospital. 

She loved reading, he presumed with all the books she had on the top of the desk in the library. 

As much as it irritated him to realize she took up a part of his thoughts (a big part, really), it pisses him off further when she spotted him looking at her as well. That led her to offer him a smile, sometimes a nose scrunch, other days furrowed eyebrows in confusion, but most of the time you never noticed the blonde hero student glancing at your direction. 

Well, that’s fine with him. More time to speculate the shitty woman who managed to take up his time. 

She took the courage to approach him one day. Bakugo knew she headed to his table in the library. So what does he do the moment her eyes met his in an attempt to introduce herself? Run. He fucking runs. 

An accomplishment that only happened when the world split into two. 

Yet, here were are on Day Four: Bakugo Ignores Gen. Girl to Restore His Self-Esteem. Part one of the “he was caught looking multiple times and almost confronted” franchise. This happened for quite a while, pretty easy actually. Both of your schedules never met, the only times he caught a whip of your existence were in the library (your humble abode) and the clinic (your humble abode part two). 

Obviously, he avoided both places like the plague. 

His plan worked for a while. 

(for the first five days, honestly.)

Bakugo’s broke his streak one lunch afternoon. He caught her eye the exact moment she looked at his, inciting a silent battle of leering. She grinned set out to stir his anger and he glared right back. The fight lasted for minutes neither parties admitting defeat, earning the attention of his fellow lunchmates. 

“Bakugo? Could you teach me this later?” Mina pleaded. “If I fail one more quiz I’d be dumber than Denki!” 

“Hey! I studied this time. I bet I might get a higher score than Midoriya this time!” Kaminari disagreed, flicking the girl’s forehead. 

“Finish eating already. We might be late again...” Sero sighed. “God. Aizawa-sensei gives me the chills...”

The red head of the group noticed Bakugo’s full tray and focused glare first. Kirishima lightly tapped the blonde, earning a grunt in response. Kirishima’s eyes then followed his line of sight to see the girl Kaminari has been talking about nonstop, and stop he did weeks ago. 

“Ah. You know her, Bakugo?” Kirishima whispered. “You might... with that staring contest going on between you.”

“No. I don’t.” Bakugo scowled, in concentration. 

Sero, who was in close proximity, heard the short discussion and pulled the other blonde by the ear. “Yo, Denki. Isn’t that Goddess #18?” 

“Ah!” Denki immediately covered his ears. “Stop! Can’t handle it! Don’t even mention her anymore— Bakugo ruined the whole experience! Remember Goddess #20? Yes. I’mma stick with her.”

“Woah... Bakugo that’s one intense stare you have. Don’t tell me... you’re dating her!” Mina gushed. “Denki you never stood a chance!” She laughed. 

“Who would like that— ugly!” Bakugo chided. 

“No wonder you hated it. You were reaaaally jealous, huh?” The Pikachu sang. “It’s fine with me. You have my permission.” 

Bakugo fumed. “I don’t need your permission to do anything!” 

Kirishima blinked. “Oh, you were serious, bro? You do like her?” 

“You’re all fucking annoying! Shut the fuck up!” 

Sero grinned, a wide cheshire smile. “You know what this means? Time to meet the princess who stunned the angry dragon.” He stood up. 

Mina understood the signal and followed suit. “Watch Bakugo for us, Kiri! We’re going to— Denki. You’re coming too.” She pulled the latter by the arm, dragging him unwillingly. 

“I don’t wanna!” Kaminari cried. 

“Hurry up. She could have pretty friends—”

“Ah? Let’s go.” The blonde picked up his weight and dashed. 

The remaining two students sat in silence. Bakugo groaned in frustration. He’s going to kill all four of them. Maybe a slower death for Spiky Hair since he called their attention in the first place. Bakugo smacked his head on the table. 

For fucks sake. Out of all the times they had to notice, why now? God. He hated his friends. 

Kirishima patted his back, gently. He did not want to enrage the irritated Bakugo even further. “There’s no harm in meeting someone new, right? Think of it as a — fun experience.”

Fun, alright. Bakugo was going to have fun beating his friends up. 

(says the angry pomeranian who heeded, and plomped down on the seat next to the stranger— not so unfamiliar anymore, almost happily. well, in his own way.)

vi. 

You and Bakugo were polar opposites; the duo that clashed every second possible. 

Believe it or not, the slightest of jabs ignited an argument so intense that calling the fire department would be justifiable. 

(alright. this may sound over dramatic. but, hey. it came from kaminari himself. dramatics beget drama.)

One argument in particular stood out among the rest. It started little, truly. A small squabble, really. 

Bakugo preferred sweets, she hated them. 

He liked mathematics, she detested the subject.

He thrived with attention, she favored staying in the sidelines. 

He loved the winter, she wished for summer. 

And one phrase led to another, one plain phrase led to an even more painful prick, and in conclusion—

“You’re quirkless. Stop complaining.”

happened. 

Bakugo never meant for the remark to hurt your feelings. It was a smooth attempt to disguise his embarrassment; you begged to hold his hand. Utterances of ‘we’re friends!’ and ‘don’t be shy!’ irked him. How the fuck was it possible to stay calm when the simplest brush of your hand against his, sent him into a frenzy?

Safety. He rebutted. It was for your safety. As much as he’d like to hold your hand with his—

(he’d die before admitting it, though.)

that quirk of his, stopped him. Sweat triggered his quirk. The very instance of the substance forming in his hands could cause an explosion. He doubted you’d be thankful spending Christmas in a hospital, your parents resorting to call a lawsuit. 

Was warmth a suitable reason to lose an arm? Hell no. Bakugo knew you hated winter, and all sorts of cold weather. Yet, he’s not stupid enough to risk your safety for something so... immaterial. 

Her words of ‘you’re selfish, Bakugo!’ prickled his skin. It was an innocent jab, he knew it was a joke. Still, if you haven’t understood the way his quirk worked. He thought it would be better for you to learn the hard way. 

And bingo. Bakugo said it. 

“You’re quirkless. Stop complaining.” 

Little did he know those words impacted his companion harsher than he initially thought. 

A small forced laugh came from your lips, compelling you to step sideward. An attempt to move yourself farther from him. “We should hurry up. I don’t think they’d like cold pizza.” 

Bakugo nodded, unconsciously watching your every move. He understood the topic of your quirklessness was taboo. A sort of innermost disappointment, and the focus of childhood bullying. He should have phrased it in a better way... a small part of him thought maybe, you wouldn’t get hurt, a way to attest your friendship. 

He grunted. His mom would kill him if she found out it was his fault. And knowing the woman’s personality, he preferred not being chewed out in front of his schoolmates. With a sigh, Bakugo unshuffled his muffler and wrapped it around his female buddy. 

“Next time, wear something thicker. I won’t always be here to save your ass.”

Her eyes blinked in succession. Her eyebrows furrowed after. Roughly, comprehending his actions. 

She beamed. “Oh? Is little Bakugo apologizing?” Her fingers twisted the pizza box, forcing it onto his hands. “Then carry this ‘oh holy’ one. I might forgive you then.”

“Fine. Crappy woman.” Bakugo grumbled, tugging her forward by pulling his muffler. “Hurry. I’m hungry.”

By 5:30 P.M., the pizza deliverers (Bakugo and her, the idiots who lost at rock, paper, scissors) arrived at the Bakugo household with the food. The appearance of the two prompted cheers and yells from Mina, Kaminari, and Sero who huddled on the couch. 

“What took you so long? Imagine listening to Denki sing the karaoke for hours!” Mina whined. 

Sero jested. “Next time, we forget inviting him. This early Christmas celebration can carry itself without his presence.”

“Get the fucking pizza yourself then! Stupid crowds hogging the whole pizza place...” Bakugo threw the box at the group, instantaneously, marching towards Kirishima.  

“Bakugo! B-Becareful!” Kaminari worried. “If it’s destroyed... you... get a new one!”

Heh. Like the expensive meal couldn’t handle a bit of force. Bakugo stomped towards the redhead and took a soda from the table nearest to him. 

Kirishima rose his eyebrows. “So. Had fun?” He elicited an all-knowing grin. “I think you did.”

“Shut up!” Bakugo hissed, eyes wandering to the bundle of people on the couch. 

“You know, you’re too obvious.” He laughed. “Well, except for one of us. That one has no idea.”

“I don’t fucking know what you’re talking about.”

“You don’t? Or you’re pretending not to?”

“Ugly’s a friend!” 

Kirishima hummed. “Alright, bro. I won’t pressure you into talking about it.”

A loud pop interrupted their conversation. Kaminari opened a fizzed up can of cola, the drink sprouted into Mina’s face. “I’m going to kill—”

“But, If you want something to happen though. You have to learn to speak up, Bakugo.”

vii.

“Come on, Bakugo! Just this once, please!” Mina begged. “It’ll be great for everyone! Don’t you feel sorry for Denki... He’s been cramming for days!”

“That’s what the gets for playing the whole weekend.”

“Please! I promise we’ll make it up to you!” 

“No. Too much of a hassle.”

“C’mon... Princess, help?” The pink haired student gestured to the other girl in the group. 

You sighed. “Mina, he doesn’t want to do it.”

“See, ugly agrees!”

“...Oh, wait. On the other hand, Bakugo’s too busy to teach. Mina, try asking Midoriya to help.” Her eyes met his in a stare off. “He’s got the time, especially when he’s so busy himself.”

She knew using his rival’s name as a bargaining chip kindled his anger. It was his fault for calling her such an offensive nickname in the first place. 

“Might let Pikachu teach you math too. You’re dumber at it than he is.”

“Oh? I should let him. He’s better at teaching than you are!”

Mina glanced back and forth between the two parties. A silent ‘oh boy, this will not end well.’ featured on her face. Pinky shook her head, and placed a hand on Bakugo’s shoulder. 

“It’s fine! Stop arguing, really.” Mina murmured. 

“No. She started it.”

“Don’t be a child, Bakugo! …Oh, you scared?” Ugly taunted. “I might beat your score in math.”

“Hah? You, the flunk? Fine. I’ll teach the shitty subject.” Bakugo grinned. “Any score lower than mine means you owe me one.”

And she gulped, anxiously. 

This became the humble beginnings of how Bakugo became the professor of the study group, ultimately leading to her doom. He was excited. Oh, what shit he’d make her do in retaliation. 

He agreed on the following terms: library after classes, subjects will be appointed beforehand, anyone skipping must be told in advance... and fifty other rules so on and so forth. 

And on the third week of the so-called cramming agenda, four of his classmates decided not to attend, leaving him and ugly as the remaining participants. The whole point of the activity was to teach the idiots, if they don’t show up why was he here?

Bakugo scanned through the math test he gave his companion. First, she was no idiot. There were hardly any errors, if there was, he presumed it was her faulty writing and adding. Solutions were well done, the logic was there. The problem? Yes. The idiot forgot her calculator. 

He clicked his tongue. The assumption was apparent, the whole back page had scribbles of numbers, divides, and all the shit. Why the hell did she not have a calculator? Forgetful one she was. 

And second, why the fuck was she dozing off? Sure, mathematics was a boring subject. Sure, he was a boring teacher. Sure, he was teaching them to pass the subject. They should all be grateful for his fucking effort. 

The hues of the sunset danced on her skin, the reds and oranges bounced on her hair radiating a wave of light. Her head perched on her crossed arms on the table, the head leaning slightly right. He saw the dark pigments below her eyes. 

Must have been studying hard, huh? Bakugo knew the girl was on a scholarship. It’s been discussed millions of times. He realized the pressure must have gotten to her, especially being one of the only quirkless students in the school. Seemingly, all she had to offer was her bright intellect. 

(not all. she was way better than most of the students in the whole department! bakugo punched anyone who thought otherwise.)

“...Do you like someone?” She muttered. 

What? In a split second, he focused his eyes on the girl in front of him. She stayed in the same sleepy position as earlier, convincing him she might have been talking in her sleep. Shaking his head, he returned back to the papers in his hands. 

Minutes later a sudden tap on the table prompted him to look at his companion. Her eyes gazed at him with such intensity, his stomach jumped. Somersaults, loops, rollercoasters. God. This only happened after a punch to the gut in battle. The woman was supposed to be asleep! What the fuck was she doing awake. 

Oh. So, she did ask the question. Was he supposed to answer? Silence is an answer. Knowing the girl, any answer he’d give sired more questions. God. He wanted to leave. What was the shittiest answer he could give her. Yeah.

“...Shut up, extra.” 

Perfect. Now back to the question at hand. What kind of fucked up person willingly confesses ‘You. Stupid. I like you.’ without proof the other party felt the same? It was simply a formula to fail. 

Hold. 

The. 

Fuck. 

Up. 

Did he really think he liked her? No. Brain thought wrong. Brain really thought fucking wrong. Just because he hated it when she focused on people who weren’t him doesn’t mean he likes her. Just because he’d break someone’s face for talking shit about her doesn’t mean he cares like that. Just because every retort she said in retribution turned him on doesn’t mean he wanted to kiss her. 

Fuck. He wanted to kiss her. 

Kiss her badly. 

He wanted to grab her by the collar and just kiss her. 

God. He hated it. 

The girl abruptly reached for his collar, pulling him towards her. “Who is it?” She whispered. 

Oh fuck. The cogs in his brain twisted and turned. Did he say it out loud? Did he fucking say that out loud? What the fuck was he doing? Who is it? What the fuck were you talking about? 

Who is it? Who was who? He hated cryptic messages. His eyes searched for meaning on your features. A person? Who?

Ah. You asked who he liked. 

Great. What was he supposed to say? It’s you, ugly! Wake up! He’d burn in hell before speaking up. 

One name popped up. Miruko’s agency. Rumi. The woman he was interning for. Like crap she’d find out about it. 

“Rumi, her name’s Rumi.”

viii.

12:00 P.M.

bakugo: i’m hungry

bakugo: bring ur snacks

12:50 P.M.

bakugo: u not gonna eat huh?

bakugo: suit urself brat

3:00 P.M. 

bakugo: think u gonna win the bet now aren’t ya

bakugo: keep ignoring me maggot

bakugo: fine

5:00 P.M. 

bakugo: spiky hair said to come 

bakugo: he has shitty fish crackers for food

bakugo: the fuck??????

bakugo: you ignore me and answer his calls?????

Bakugo was not an avid texter. Most of his messages consisted of ‘ok’, ‘nice’, ‘no’, curses, other single word messages, sometimes barely a reply at all. The sheer amount of effort he put into texting you proved otherwise. Yet...

Read. Read. Read. 

All of his messages sent to you were on read. What he fuck was going on? For five days, she’s been missing in action. He tried everything. 

Inviting the woman to lunch. Ignored.

Reminding her of the cram session. Bailed. 

Snacks! You loved snacks! Ignored again. 

Bakugo was this close to shoving you up against the wall and forcing the shit out of you. What did he do so wrong? Oh, was it the kiss thing? Did he say it out loud? Your face showed no clear answer at the time. Your deadpan expression irritated him. 

What if he wanted to kiss you? Was that shit so bad?

That had to be it. 

You weren’t ignoring Spiky hair, Pikachu, Duct Tape, and Pinky— then it had something to do with him. 

He grunted. Swiping the contacts on his phone, he hovered over the one named ‘Ugly’ and tapped it. Bakugo disabled the block function. 

If you weren’t talking to him, fine, he won’t fucking talk to you. 

(yes. he was that petty.)

Streams of notifications buzzed. All of them coming from you. 

Ugly: 6 P.M.

Ugly: Outside 3-A. 

Ugly: Don’t be late.

Ugly: stupid.

Fucking finally. The woman finally decided to text back. 

A meeting place? For what?

The exams were over. A celebration party then. No. Why was the location at 3A then? Oh. The bet. She wanted to compare answers for the shitty bet. 

Bakugo flicked his phone on. 6:25 P.M. 

Amazing. He was fucking late. 

The distance from the faculty room and the third year homerooms were near. It took him no time at all to stomp all the way to the designated meeting spot. Why you couldn’t have texted the shit down, he hadn’t understood. 

Bakugo sported a look of annoyance the moment he found you. Shitty woman. 

“You finally decide to text me back, shithead.” He cursed. 

The girl fashioned an amused expression. “Hm. You missed me?”

Of, course he did. How crappy of you to fill his thoughts of only you, annoy him ‘til worlds end, only for him to be forgotten and ignored. Like a thrown away puppy on the sidewalk. 

“Who would miss you, ugly.” He fumed. 

Yeah. That’s what you get for pretending he didn’t exist. You can’t leave him begging for your attention, that was something shitty fan girls did. And she stood there feigning ignorance of the whole ordeal. He bet she never even noticed he blocked her. 

She erupted in giggles, clutching her stomach as the stronghold. “I’m sorry. The exams were really difficult.”

You bet they were terrible. They had the same general education syllabus, except for major hero subjects and courses. The outright tears Pikachu shed after the math exam proved its difficulty. Bakugo bet she cried after the exam as well. 

Might figure out the task he would make her do. Something embarrassing? No. He wasn’t that cruel. A weird prank? What prank though—

“I missed you too, Katsuki.” She consoled. 

Of, course you did. Who wouldn’t miss him? The dweeb better be thankful he blessed the his friendship onto her. 

(though, he’d like a little bit more than that.)

Hah! Bakugo could force her to buy him a new muffler. The one he had disappeared (into her closet) and wanted a new one. 

Katsuki. 

Katsuki. Katsuki.

Fuck. She called him by his first name. And he only noticed it— now? Gears and cogs twirled within his consciousness. What did it mean? What did that mean? God. He hated it. Was that your way of showing your love? Did that love mean affection as relationship or love as friendship?

Fuck. He couldn’t tell. 

Yet, he knew one thing. 

He wanted to kiss you so bad. 

The snickers and giggles from the people outside the room stopped him though. His shithead friends managed to ruin it, yet again. 

Heh. Maybe next time. 

Love has always been a difficult subject to comprehend, and for Bakugo whose typical acts of love revolved around teasing, and riling you up, the subject was more troublesome to speak out loud. 

However, you were worth the trouble. 

Now, you just needed to spot how. 

[qqueenofhades]

how do you manage to craft a story and connect it and also find ways back to a story that feel authentic and then also write dialogue basically what i’m asking is how are you so amazing at writing and how can a garbage fire person (such as myself) begin to write one so beautiful as one of yours

Aww. That is very kind of you.

As for me, I've been writing for 25 years, I write a lot, I read a lot, and after a while, you just get a sense of how things work, how narrative pieces go together, what style you like, whether an author is good or bad at what they're doing, and how a given piece of work makes you feel and why. I write fic, original fiction, and scholarly/academic stuff, so I have a lot of practice at different genres and just the sheer amount that I do (which is to say... a lot... probably too much) is obviously helpful in being able to hammer out something that is relatively decent on first go. But obviously it is not rocket science or a major secret, and anyone can do the same thing if they practice enough and are willing to go through the learning curve.

I do think it's a little harder to feel confident about your own abilities now that there's a culture of constant exposure/posting your stuff from all phases/abilities of your life. I definitely wrote tons of not-great-to-pretty-crappy stuff back when I was younger, but (and yes, I am indeed an Old) that was before the internet/social media/dedicated fandom spaces were common. Once again, I'm hideously dating myself here, but I first got a FanFiction.Net account in.... 2003. 18 years is a long time to be writing fic. I've gotten in some practice. I definitely could not reread my earliest stuff, and even my oldest stuff on AO3 (which I got in 2012) is edging into cringe factor by now. If I had to reread my stuff from when I was like, 14, and know that it was posted for the entirety of the internet public, I'd probably leap off a bridge. So for me, just by the time I had a tumblr and an AO3 and whatever else, I was a good enough writer that I could surreptitiously kick my early stuff under the bed where nobody had to see it.

Nonetheless, 14-year-old qqueenofhades also wrote some genuinely good stuff, she worked hard, and it probably wasn't even as bad as I remember it, since we are always our own worst critics. Plus, in my experience, most people are happy to consume content from writers of all different skill levels, and understand that we're all ordinary people doing this for free in our spare time just because we love some fictional idiots and want them to bang and/or suffer (and sometimes both). Yes, obviously you always do get some dicks and mean people and entitled assholes and That One Rude Commenter that every author has and which makes their eye twitch, but they do tend to be a minority, and with AO3, you can, for example, moderate comments or delete mean ones or whatever. It can really kick you in the gut when you're starting out, so while I've been through the fic wars (like I said, I was on FF.net in the Dark Days, so I've Seen Some Shit), and that's easy for me to say as a grizzled veteran, I know that it really sucks to get something like that. But it's still only one stranger on the internet who you will never meet in real life and who has no impact on you, and you can be entirely justified in deleting it and ignoring it.

Anyway. That was a long-winded way of saying: you are definitely not a garbage fire person, writing is dumb but also very fun, if you work at it you will get better just like you do with anything, and I am Old.

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

Hello yes I love the Sparation AU but I also need these two boys to be reunited please and thank you.

This is my take on how Impulse and Skizzleman might be reunited in the Separation AU! Doesn’t have to be canon to the AU, we just have to see these guys finally happy again :)

That being said, I am super proud of the way this turned out :D

…

  Impulse follows Xisuma and the small group of Hermits through the specially generated portal, his heart pounding in his chest and sweat dripping down his back. This is the first time EVER that easy inter-server travel has been possible, but Impulse isn’t nervous about it possibly going wrong. He’s nervous about their intended destination.

  The Hermits arrive on the Legacy server and are immediately greeted by a small group of Legates, led by Logicalgeekboy. “Hi, Xisuma!” he says warmly. “Hey, everybody. Welcome to Legacy.” 

  As the groups exchange pleasantries, Impulse wanders off through the nearby village, his eyes searching for one person. He didn’t see the person in the crowd at the portal, so he knows he must be somewhere here. 

  Sure enough, he happens to glance upwards and catch sight of a figure emerging from a small cave just above him. 

  His heart stops. 

  Skizzleman starts coming down the hill before he looks up and spots someone he never thought he would ever see again.

  For what feels like hours, Impulse and Skizzleman stare at each other, frozen. 

  Then a pale smile breaks out on Impulse’s face. “Oh my god… Skizz…”

  “I-Impulse…?!” Skizzleman slowly approaches him, but stops a safe distance away, not quite able to believe his eyes. “Is it really you? H-How did you get here?”

  “I came over with some of the Hermitcraft people. Some kind of experimental inter-server travel portal thingy brought us over. Everyone else is at spawn but I… I just wanted to come and see you.”

  “Hermitcraft?”

  Impulse nods. “When I disappeared from our world, it was because I was being summoned to Hermitcraft. I’m a Hermit.” 

  “You’ve been on Hermitcraft this whole time?” Skizzleman stares at him. “And you never thought to come back?”

  “Of course I did!” Impulse’s voice rises. “I worked for WEEKS to find a way to go back to you! But I couldn’t. All of Xisuma’s admin powers had been spent bringing me to the server and there was no way he could either bring you there or send me back.”

  “Even if he could have sent you back, would you have asked him to?” Skizzleman challenges. 

  “Wh-What do you mean?”

  “I mean you were finally on a server with a load of amazing, talented people! Why would you want to come back to our crappy little world with one idiot who causes more problems than he solves?”

  Impulse stares at his best friend in shock. “Skizz, don’t say that! Given the choice, I would’ve come back to you!”

  “Why, because I had nobody else?” snaps Skizzleman.

  “No, because you were my brother and I loved you. I still do. It… It tears me up inside when I think about the horrible stuff I put you through.”

  Skizzleman hesitates, seeing the guilt-ridden look on Impulse’s face. “Yeah, I bet. You never had a bad bone in your body. I can just picture you crying yourself to sleep at night cuz I wasn’t there to tuck you in.”

  “Hey…!” Impulse complains mildly. “You stopped tucking me in years before I disappeared, pal.”

  Skizzleman laughs softly, which makes Impulse smile. He hasn’t heard that laugh in so long. 

  “Skizz, what happened to you after I left?” he asks quietly. “How did you end up in Legacy?”

  After a moment, Skizzleman lets out a long breath. “I moved away from our house after about a week. You were everywhere there, from the crops you planted to the whole building itself. I built a little shack next to the spot you vanished from but I moved from there as well after less than a month. It just became way too painful. I packed up all my stuff and just wandered around for a while until I got to a village. I ended up just settling down there. I know I used to make fun of villagers and call them dumb but… I dunno, I felt a lot less lonely living with them.”

  “Did you stay there permanently?” asks Impulse.

  Skizzleman nods. “I stayed there until the world corrupted and I got flung into the void.”

  Impulse winces, unable and unwilling to imagine how painful and terrifying that must have been. 

  “I dunno how long I was in there for. Time passes differently in the void. It might’ve been a couple hours or a couple months, I really don’t know. Eventually, I was pulled out by Logic, who took me to the brand new Legacy world. But you know, six years communicating with nobody except villages who don’t have a lot of vocal talent… took a real toll on me. I couldn’t speak properly anymore; I just kept making noises and offering people emeralds. I still remember how confused I was to see Pearl’s expression the first time I tried to give her an emerald because she welcomed me to the server.”

  As Impulse stifles a laugh, he’s relieved to see Skizzleman chuckling too. “I can picture that, honestly.”

  “Well, what did you expect?” says Skizzleman amusedly. “That was all I could remember how to do; my social skills had been completely destroyed by my isolation. Even now, I’m not as chatty and carefree in social interaction as I used to be.”

  Impulse’s smile falls. “I can’t imagine spending all that time in a world with nobody else around. I remember starting to feel a little daffy myself in that world after a long time, and there were TWO of us there.”

  “Yeah…” Skizzleman hesitates. “Honestly, though, the worst part was the trauma left over from losing you. I had so many panic attacks in the first few months, whenever I got reminded of you. It slowly got better after a long while but after I joined Legacy, it got so much worse again. Everything my new friends did reminded me of you, from their building styles to just the way they laughed when I attempted a joke. The first few weeks were absolute torture. I couldn’t sleep because I got nightmares, I couldn’t eat because I had no appetite, I couldn’t build because everything I saw reminded me of you. Then about two months after I joined Legacy, I… I had a complete breakdown.”

  A lump rises in Impulse’s throat. “What happened…?”

  Skizzleman’s eyes glass over at the painful memory. “We… um… A few of us decided to do some PVP. I was starting to feel better so I decided to join in. It was me and Pearl vs Logic and Sausage. Any weapons allowed. I thought I would be okay, and I totally would have been. I just didn’t realise that Logical had spectral arrows.”

  As Skizzleman pauses, Impulse abruptly realises exactly what happened. “Oh no…”

  “Yeah. When I saw Pearl glowing just like you did before you vanished, I completely broke down, right in front of her, Logic, and Sausage. It was easily the worst panic attack I’d ever had; I was so gripped with panic that I was about to lose her the way I lost you. Logic told me later that he was terrified for me; he thought I was gonna die. And so did I, honestly.”

  “Oh my god, Skizz, I…” Impulse trails off. How is he supposed to finish that sentence? What can he possibly say to make this better? “I… I’m so sorry… This is all my fault…”

  “Impulse, I need you to know that I don’t resent you for having a good life on Hermitcraft,” says Skizzleman gently. “I spent a lot of time grieving for you but I really am glad you’ve got this great new life. The Hermits have given you the life we could never have back in our world, and I’m starting to get the same here on Legacy. So much has changed since you disappeared.” 

  Impulse can’t quite hold in a sniffle. “We’re not the same people we were all those years ago, are we?” 

  Skizzleman slowly shakes his head. “No, we’re not. What I went through in that world after you disappeared… will stay with me forever. Six years alone with nobody but the villagers to talk to did some real damage to my mental state. It’s only because of the other Legates and their patience and compassion for me that I’ve been able to start healing and get somewhat back to normal.”

  He pauses. “I guess the best way to sum it up is we both started in the same place but you continued to grow, whereas I got worse and had to get back to normal before I can actually get better. I’m still in the middle of the recovery process.”

  “I want to be part of your recovery,” says Impulse quietly, taking his best friend’s hand. “I couldn’t be there for you when you needed me most, but I can be here for you now. If… If you want me.”

  As he says that, he winces internally. Why would Skizzleman want him around? He is the cause of all Skizzleman’s current problems. Surely his presence would be far more of a hindrance than a help. He’s survived six years without Impulse; does he really want him around now?

  After a moment, Skizzleman’s eyes fill with tears and he nods. “Of course I want you around. You’re still my best friend and my brother, and we’ve got seven years of lost time to make up for.”

  Impulse can’t hold back the tears anymore. He grabs Skizzleman in a hug, burying his face in his best friend’s shoulder. Skizzleman hugs him back, clutching his best friend like his life depends on it. He can hardly remember the last time he hugged anyone like this, much less his oldest friend. Seven years of pain and separation seems to melt away as they relax in each other’s presence. 

  “Missed you, Dippledop,” Skizzleman whispers. 

  Impulse gives a wet laugh. He hasn’t heard that nickname in seven whole years. It’s music to his ears. 

  “I missed you too, Skizz.”

[lild3m0nnn-bpd]

✨Day 5 of Working Through My DBT Workbook✨

General Skills: Orientation and Analyzing Behavior

General Handouts: Handout 5

✨Biosocial Theory✨

Emotional vulnerability is BIOLOGICAL: It's simply how some people are born.

They are more sensitive to emotional stimuli; they can detect subtle emotional information in the environment that others don't even notice.

They experience emotions much more often than others.

Their emotions seem to hit for no reason, or from out of the blue.

They have more intense emotions.

Their emotions hit like a ton of bricks.

And their emotions are long-lasting.

I feel like this is a HUGE one for people with BPD. I know for myself, feeling so in tune with not only my emotions but other peoples emotions, is something that can cause a lot of stress. With my partner, the second I feel like there is any kind of mood change, I immediately feel like I've done something wrong and my brain goes to the worst possible places. It's one of my biggest triggers. For me personally, the emotions being "long lasting" really depends on what emotion I'm feeling.

Impulsivity also has a BIOLOGICAL basis: Regulating action is harder for some that for others.

They find it very hard to restrain impulsive behaviors.

Often, without thinking, they do things that get them in trouble.

Sometimes their behavior seems to come out of nowhere.

They find if very hard to be effective.

Their moods can get in the way of organizing to achieve their goals.

They cannot control behaviors linked to their moods.

Ahhhhh the accuracy. I always found it hard to explain to people that sometimes I literally feel like I cannot control my own behaviors. This is especially bad for me when I'm extremely angry or depressed. I get so impulsive and it feels like I have absolutely no control over it. A lot of the impulsive decisions are what leaves me with very intense feelings of guilt and shame, at which point it becomes a horrible cycle that is very difficult to break. I get angry/depressed, lose control, feel guilty/shame, and then end up getting angry/depressed over it all over again. On one hand, it's nice to know that it is something that is truly out of my control, even though its my responsibility to learn to handle it and be better about it but on the other hand, it really sucks to think like "if I was just born different I wouldn't be like this".

An invalidating SOCIAL environment can make it very hard to regulate emotions.

An invalidating environment doesn't seem to understand your emotions.

It tells you your emotions are invalid, weird, wrong, or bad.

It often ignores your emotional reactions and does nothing to help you.

It may say things like "don't be such a baby", "quit blubbering", "quit being such a chicken and just solve the problem", or "normal people don't get flustered", etc.

People who invalidate are often doing the best they can.

They may not know how to validate or how important it is to validate, or they may be afraid that if they validate your emotions, you will get more emotional, not less.

They may be under high stress or time pressure, or they may have too few resources themselves.

There may be just a poor fit between you and your social environment: you may be a tulip in a rose garden.

Feeling invalidated is probably one of the worst feelings when it comes to any doctors visits or relationship, but I feel like it can be especially harmful in MH situations. I myself have been invalidated before and it really left me feeling much worse with imposter syndrome. It made me question literally everything about myself. You end up feeling so icky and crappy after and just wanting to crawl under a rock. I think the second part of this does give a little perspective though. I do know a lot of therapists and psychiatrists who are doing the best they can. They want to do so much more to help you but they literally do not have the resources. They can be overbooked with clients, they may not have enough support, it may be taking a toll on their own mental health. Over the last few years especially, there has been such a high rise in people seeking MH help, and there is literally not enough of a supply to appease the demand. There are not enough therapists for the amount of people seeking them, and that can be a hard thing to understand in the moment, when you need help. This is not to excuse some of the genuinely shitty therapists and psychs out there, because they are out there. But again, consider the fact they just may not be a good fit for you. It may not be an easy process, but it's better to keep searching for someone who is a good fit for you, rather than give up entirely.

An ineffective SOCIAL environment is a big problem when you want to learn to regulate emotions and actions.

Your environment may reinforce out of control emotions and behaviors.

If people give in when you get out of control, it will be hard for you to get in control.

If others command you to change, but don't coach you on how to do this, it will be hard to keep on trying to change.

I got so lucky with my partner when it comes to this. He is AMAZING. He so good at not giving in when I get out of control, but he isn't demanding or overbearing about it. He simply sits with me through my emotions and meltdowns. He talks me through things and he's extremely supportive. It's something that helps me feel very safe and understood. But, on the flip side, it makes me nervous when I go to stay with family or friends because I'm never sure if I have a safe environment incase I do end up having a meltdown. People have tried to command me before and it just makes me want to rebel. It is not a method that works for me.

It's the TRANSACTIONS that count between the person and the social environment.

Biology and the social environment influence the person.

The person reciprocates and influences his or her social environment.

The social environment reciprocates and influences the person.

And so on and on and on.

I think it's very important to understand just how hard it is to gain control of your emotions and behaviors, especially when you look at it like this. There are so many different factors and influences and when you try to change or even look at them all at once, it can feel so overwhelming. It's so important to know that changing your behaviors and responses takes so much time, and it really is one step at a time. You cannot change everything all at once. Get one thing under control, and then move onto the next. Do not overwhelm yourself with trying to do everything at once.

Source: DBT Skills and Training Handouts and Worksheet, Second Edition, by Marsha M. Linehan, pg. 14-15

[rammoram]

Kindaichi Yuutarou Analysis

Disclaimer: I am not a professional psychologist in any way. I simply find psychology and reading into characters very interesting. Please correct me if I say anything incorrect. 

This is also not an anti-Kageyama post. I'm simply trying to put Kindaichi in a new perspective in the most unbiased way I can. I'm only putting information I found from research into this post. Thank you. 

Kindaichi is undoubtedly my favorite character in Haikyuu. He's also one of-what I consider to be- the top most misunderstood characters. No matter the reason for it, a pretty significant chunk of the Haikyuu fandom seems to have a bias against him. And while I can't force anyone to change their opinion on his character, I'd like to try to describe some of his actions and reactions in another perspective. 

This is gonna be a pretty long post, so the rest will be under the cut~!

Things I'm going to talk about(in order):

Character Traits

Classical conditioning

Explanation/definition

How it's shown with Kindaichi

Examples, episodes & timestamps

Obstacles

Confirmation Bias

Overconfidence 

Examples, episodes

Overview

Basically a paragraph where I repeat everything I explained but with less explanations involved 

Character Traits

First, I want to list a few things about Kindaichi that we already know without doing a thorough character study. These are traits that are very obvious and can be hard to miss. 

What we already know about him: he's stubborn, emotional, kind of awkward, he can be oblivious, and he holds onto grudges. 

Of course, there are other traits he shows that could be easily identified. But these are just some of the more obvious ones. 

Some of these traits, specifically being stubborn, emotional and holding onto grudges, can actually help us understand his actions easier. 

Classical Conditioning

Definition: 

Classical Conditioning: Continuously pairing two stimuli( an unconditioned stimulus and a neutral stimulus) so that the neutral stimulus(which becomes the conditioned stimulus) gains a conditioned response. 

Explaining it in simpler terms: 

Classical conditioning is basically pairing two things together a lot so that they end up being associated with each other.

(This is definitely not the best definition or explanation. If you're still confused I would suggest looking up classical conditioning for more information)  

Defining responses and stimuli: 

Unconditioned stimulus: something that will naturally get a response. 

Unconditioned response: the response to an unconditioned stimulus. 

Neutral stimulus: a stimulus that doesn't get the same unconditioned response as the unconditioned stimulus. 

Conditioned stimulus: the neutral stimulus after being continuously paired with the unconditioned stimulus. The conditioned stimulus will get a conditioned response. 

Conditioned response: is the same response as the unconditioned response, but it is a response to the conditioned stimulus after continuous pairing. 

How it's shown with Kindaichi: 

Alright. To explain this, we have to look into what happened during middle school. 

As we all know, Kindaichi had a pretty hard time keeping up with Kageyama during middle school. When we first get introduced to them, it's shown that if Kindaichi messed up or reacted late to a toss, Kageyama would get pretty angry and yell at him, telling him to do better. And it's shown that this happened multiple times during games. 

From that, we can very easily label the responses and stimuli that would occur during classical conditioning. 

The unconditioned stimulus would be getting screamed at and criticized. 

The unconditioned response would be Kindaichi feeling hurt or upset

The neutral stimulus would be making a mistake

The conditioned stimulus would also be making a mistake

The conditioned response would also be feeling frustrated and upset. 

So basically, what we have here, is that Kindaichi would start associating messing up during volleyball with getting screamed at and feeling extremely upset and frustrated if he messed up even a little bit. 

Also yes, I understand that messing something up during a game can cause a bit of frustration, but please consider that a lot of the time during middle school, Kindaichi got yelled at even when he scored points. 

Examples of when Kindaichi shows signs of this: 

There are three specific scenes where Kindaichi shows subtle signs of classical conditioning, but they tend to get pushed aside as him respecting his upperclassmen tremendously. But this makes sense, considering that these signs are, again, very subtle, and definitely won't stand out unless you're looking for them. (or I just overanalyze everything that has to do with Kindaichi-)

The first scene happens on episode 19 of season 1, right before the first match between Aoba Johsai and Karasuno. During spiking drills, Oikawa says something along the lines of, "sorry, Kindaichi. That one was a bit high." 

The normal response to this would be very casual or laid back. But Kindaichi rapidly replies with, "yes! I mean-! No!" 

A lot of people seem to take this scene as Kindaichi being awkward. But it almost seems as if he's trying to say, "no! That wasn't your fault!" because he'd gotten so used to thinking everything was his own fault. 

The approximate timestamp for this particular scene is Season 1 episode 19- 14:20 

The second scene is very similar to the first. It's on the 22nd episode of season 2, where Kindaichi doesn't react to one of Karasuno's spikes in time, and Iwaizumi comments on how stiff he is. Similarly to how he responded to Oikawa, Kindaichi's reply is, "yes! No!" 

Again, this seems to be brushed off as Kindaichi being awkward with his upperclassmen, but it's shown that Kindaichi seems to be quite comfortable around them, and only reacts like this when someone corrects him on something. This shows that he isn't used to being corrected in a civil way, and doesn't seem to know how to respond to it. 

The approximate timestamp for this is Season 2 episode 22- 16:33

Another thing to consider is that directly after this(during the same episode and timestamp), Kindaichi seems to take a lot of responsibility for the entire team, putting a lot of the blame on himself. This, again, suggests that he believes everything is his responsibility due to the events in middle school. 

The last scene is the one that stands out the most to me. It's during the 23rd episode of season 2, in a flashback. During this flashback, we see Kindaichi missing one of Oikawa's tosses during practice. Then we see Kindaichi remember that Oikawa tells him he can ask for adjustments, and essentially has to remind himself that Oikawa will help him before actually expressing concern to Oikawa. This shows that Kindaichi wasn't used to getting treated properly, or getting support, when he wasn't able to hit a ball. 

The approximate timestamp for this scene is Season 2 episode 23- 19:12

If we look at these scenes, we can come to the conclusion that, not only did he associate making a mistake with getting shouted at and feeling horrible about himself, but he was also conditioned to think that his setter wouldn't be there for him when he needed it. This can explain a lot of Kindaichi's resentment towards Kageyama, and why he acted so crudely. 

Obstacles

Psychological obstacles are pretty much exactly what they sound like. They're hurdles that get in the way of socialization and mental growth. With Kindaichi, two specific psychological obstacles stand out to me. Confirmation Bias and Overconfidence. 

Confirmation Bias:

Confirmation bias is an obstacle where people will only acknowledge information that align with their personal beliefs and ignore information, no matter how reliable, that goes against them. 

Overconfidence: 

Overconfidence is when, as the name suggests, someone is too confident in their beliefs or judgements. These judgments are not as accurate as they may seem. 

Examples: 

Kindaichi shows a lot of signs of confirmation bias during Karasuno's practice match with Aoba Johsai. These can be seen throughout episodes 6 and 7 of season 1. 

The most obvious time we see Kindaichi struggling with this obstacle is when he refuses to acknowledge that Kageyama has gotten better after Kageyama attempts to talk to him. 

Another example of this is when Kindaichi first confronts Hinata. He talks about how horrible Kageyama was as a setter, and while that was true for Kindaichi, it wasn't the same for Hinata, or for Karasuno in general. It seems to be a mix of both confirmation bias and overconfidence here, as he ignores the fact that Hinata says that Kageyama's skills were good, while also making judgements that were more severe than reality. 

This shows that, while Kageyama did greatly impact him, Kindaichi had a hard time with psychological obstacles. They messed with his judgement and accuracy and ended up slowing down his mental healing in the process. 

Timestamps: Season 1, episode 6- 5:50

                      Season 1, episode 7- 10:12

Overview

After taking the time to analyze Kindaichi's character, we can see that he's more than the "angry guy who hates Kageyama." We can clearly see that he was conditioned to associate making a mistake with being treated unfairly and feeling crappy, and that he wasn't used to being treated in a civil way. Kindaichi also appears to deal with psychological obstacles, which slow down the healing needed to let go of middle school. This also suggests that Kindaichi thinks with more emotion and let's that guide his decisions. He's a very complex, relatable character and should be viewed as such.

[squishychimminie]

Peter Parker as Spider-Man MASTERLIST!

I have read and loved all of these

Just gonna let em hate | StarryKitty013 | incomplete 

340,950 words

Summary:

It’s not like anything changed much.

Peter is usually great brushing off all the shit everyone gives him for being himself. It usually doesn’t matter what they think; what anyone thinks really.

So why is it getting so hard for him to do that recently?

TW: um… a lot

I Will Carry You | Lansfics7 | complete

257,056 words

Summary:

Tony Stark goes on a mission with the Avengers to infiltrate a discovered HYDRA base. He has orders to kill everyone involved with the operation and he plans to follow those...until he comes across a 16 year old kid with curly brown hair and brown eyes who has spent the last 9 years as HYDRA's prisoner. Instead, Tony helps him escape and they slowly grow closer. But Peter can't truly escape his past; it seems to follow him wherever he goes and put the people he cares about in danger.

TW:

The Lost and Forgotten | Litcraz | complete(?)

272,315 words

Summary:

In order to save everyone's lives, Peter is forced to give up memories - their memories of him. As a result, he is left entirely alone in a world where no one knows he exists. After finally moving on with his life, a new threat arises, bringing Peter back directly into the Avengers' path.

TW:

The Web Heads | Strength_in_pain | complete 

48,468 words

Summary:

Not quite the Breakfast Club, but similar. When the Web Heads meet in detention for the first time they are completely different: a geek, a bully, a homecoming queen, a social outsider, and a mysterious dork. But when they decide to hack into the schools ‘website’ to change their grades, the ‘Web’ Heads are formed. The group will soon use their internet Web skills to help one another through personal struggles. After a while, one thing becomes apparent, nothing was as it seemed.

TW: rape, abuse, & eating disorders mentioned

If They Knew About You | MsHermia | Ongoing

332,813 words

Summary:

Tony Stark had lost his son when he was only 2 years old, stolen away in broad daylight with nobody the wiser of what exactly happened. Years later, Tony has just made it through the disaster with Ultron. He is trying to keep himself and the team together but relationships are strained and tempers are running high.

Then a random turn of events leads to his path crossing with that of a particular vigilante. They are strangers to each other, or so they think.

Peter Parker is on top of the world. After a few shitty years, losing his parents and then losing his Uncle, things are finally looking up. Sure he lives in a crappy little apartment with his Aunt but he might have just found his mission in life.

TW: anxiety & gore/blood

Peter is a [Genius Playboy Superhero] Orphan | squishychiminie | Ongoing

62,296 words

Summary:

Losing Gwen was more than just heartbreaking for Peter Parker. It shattered him. That’s three people he loved, and failed to save. But, he must piece himself back together, swallow his misery, and do what has to be done.

Can he keep the glue from cracking?

Or

The one where an angsty kid owns a small but thriving business and is also one cool mf guy!!

TW: drugs, alcohol, abuse, depression, & mentioned death of a loved one

yes, the last ones mine hehe

i'll but updating this or like reblogging this with updates or smth! I have tons of favs but these are the ones I wrote down :)