#a lot of people claim to want that kind of honesty in their life but when it means being told that they were wrong it's suddently bad

[thesmokinpossum]

while i'm complaining  about men, I just got told in a slightly passive-aggressive tone by a man i've known for less than 5 months that "clearly, validating people's feelings is not my strongest suit" because I told him as kindly as I could that while he can call me when he's having panic attack, there's no real guarantee that i'm gonna be available and even less guarantee that i'm gonna be able to comfort him in whatever way in need, especially if he need any type of physical comfort and I'm just sitting there like...You know what my dude, if that's gonna make you get over your annoying ass desire to hug me then feel free to assume that i'm actually even meaner than that, imagine me as the world biggest bitch all you want, i'm fine with it

[vivmaek]

MARS SIGN OBSERVATIONS

♂ Pisces Mars - I think Lennie Small from “Of Mice and Men,” would have this placement. This is a person who is seemingly harmless, and yet they still managed to cause harm and destruction through indirect action. When looking at someone with a Pisces Mars, their innocence and an assumed lack of strength is noticed first. These are kind people. They would rather harm themselves over another person. Their first instinct isn’t to attack, but to defend. When angry, they appear to be caught up within a panic. A Pisces Mars is driven by their big dreams. They might not always know what they want out of life, and their goals and ambitions may change frequently. This does not mean that they are incapable of finding success. If anything, their unwavering belief in themselves and their ability to achieve the impossible is what takes them to great heights. Hope is everything for someone with this placement, it’s what gets them out of bed in the morning. 

♂ Aquarius Mars - It's hard to pin someone with this placement down. Their actions don’t make sense to other people. Aquarius does a good job showing its eccentricity through Mars. The rules of society and the opinions of others do not dictate their actions. These types are constantly surprising people, and they like this. The public will often speculate about those with an Aquarius Mars. Theories are formed about them, no one can guess what they’re going to do next. In my opinion, this is the most rebellious Aquarius placement. They live their life in a manner that is truly unconventional. People with this placement are not aggressive, but they are clever. They like outsmarting people. A sense of superiority can sometimes act as a driving force. They go out of their way to make the people around them feel stupid if they’re in a foul mood. Their need for independence will never be forsaken. 

♂ Capricorn Mars - Hard work doesn’t scare these people off. They’ll put in whatever energy is needed to complete a project or endeavor. A strong sense of ambition and an excellent sense of focus are traits commonly seen with this placement. They’re quite secure in themselves and exercise self control through all their actions. Discipline motivates them. They take their responsibilities seriously and expect others to do the same. A Capricorn Mars goes above and beyond what is expected of them. They do this through a step-by-step process and practical planning. Cutting corners or taking the easy way out is something you’d never catch them doing. These types want to maintain control over every aspect of their life. They become angry when plans are thrown into a disarray through unexpected events. “Going with the flow,” is not a strong suit of theirs. Their need for security is what motivates them. 

♂ Sagittarius Mars - People with this placement are incredibly restless. They lack patience and need many different outlets to pour their energy into. They are easy going but are also quickly overtaken by passion. Crossing their moral beliefs is a good way to get them riled up. They like to believe that their opinions are more intellectual than they are emotional. When angry they like to get up on a soap box to lecture people. When people don’t agree with them, it can sometimes feel like criticism. They also don’t consider how their tendency to dish out brutal honesty may actually be more hurtful than it is impactful. They often act as a spark that ignites fire, in both a positive and a negative way.

♂ Scorpio Mars - The definition of “moving in silence.” Lots of people claim to do this, but a Scorpio Mars wouldn’t be caught making such a claim. They’re smarter than that. They know that hardship and struggle are inevitable. This does not scare them, but they also don’t fight against the natural currents of life. During certain points, their sense of ambition is so relentless that it becomes obsessive. But, this can only last so long. Rest and recuperation is a process they embrace. After acting on an immense level of concentration for a long period of time, they will need to take a step back to reassess goals. Rather than just accepting things for the way they are, a Scorpio Mars would rather make changes. If they feel that a path is ill-suited for them, they’re not afraid to change directions. Starting from zero is not discouraging and it is something that motivates these types. They have the power to turn nothing into something great. 

♂ Libra Mars - Mars is uncomfortable being in Libra. People with this placement often struggle with taking action and are as indecisive as they come. They get caught up in what's fair and what isn’t. They have a strong need to strike equality and want every situation to be as balanced as possible. Some might be surprised to know that the ultimate desire for these types is to garner a sense of peace. They might unintentionally stir the pot through their inability to take a strong stance on something. They want to weigh all the options possible and can become stressed trying to do so. Being passive-aggressive is also something that's frequently seen with this placement. These types think they’re being nice when in reality they’re making people uncomfortable through their fear of being direct. They’re sneaky when faced with conflict but also good at leading people into a resolution. 

[star-anise]

Everyone's got a take, and I've got a take too, about the current Internet Villain: James Somerton, a gay Youtuber who just got exposed (in the back half of a 4-hour video) as massively plagiarizing the work of LGBTQ+ media critics, historians, and memoirists, and then exposed in another 2-hour video as just making up the wildest nonsense about the topics he demonstrably had access to accurate information on.

He achieved a six-figure income on his work by squeezing money out of his audience with claims...

That only he was creating content that preserved queer history and elevated the voices and experiences of the LGBTQ+ community (a lie)

He was in serious financial distress and would have to go out of business if people didn't give him tons of money (a lie)

That he was going to use some of that cash to make definitely good and not-at-all-plagiarized independent movies, a thing he was definitely skilled and experienced enough to do (a lie), and

That those plagiarism allegations were incorrect,, and frankly,,,, hurtful and homophobic. (a GIANT lie)

Like, here's a visualization of the script of one of his videos, "Society and Queer Horror". The highlighted bits were lifted nearly verbatim from the works of others—the 18 authors identified at the time the exposé was posted—and presented as Somerton's own work.

So here's what drives me absolutely up the wall about this:

If he had just ADMITTED that it was the work of other people, THAT WOULD STILL BE COOL. If he had just said, up front, "We are going on a survey of thoughts and insights people have had about this topic", that would still be a good video with a real audience!

Like yes, he studied business in university, he might not have gotten the kinds of research skills and knowledge someone like Kaz Rowe uses to not just report on the history and analysis of others, but evaluate their relative validity and trustworthiness.

But honestly, since watching my niblings (oldest is 13) watch Youtube, I think you honestly can't underestimate the number of viewers who are really hungry for someone saying, "I don't understand this topic! Let's explore it together!"

But NOOOOOOO, Somerton didn't want to be just some schmuck waxing enthusiastic about homoeroticism on film and acknowledging the smartness of other people. He wanted to be HIM, MR. SMARTYBOY, very sophisticated and alluring and thoughtful and deep. Definitely an intellectual heavyweight who just happened to spout off his own personal ideas and analysis that put him at the forefront of all the scholarship on the topic he's come across.

I hate being wrong. Hate being wrong. But blogging for most of my life has forced me to confront constant textual evidence that two or ten or twenty years ago, I said some dumb-ass shit. Honestly, it'd probably keep me up at night sometimes even if I didn't have a written record. I absolutely understand the desire to scan the field, find the coolest people around, and quickly clothe yourself in as perfect an imitation of them as you can manage.

But if you want to be an artist or a scholar who produces something lasting, you can't prioritize coolness over truth all the time. To develop your true, independent voice, you need to find a time and place where it is just you and just the work you're doing, and you have pick up your tools and say, I don't know if I'm doing this right, but this is what feels right to me.

There are a lot of things in life to which we can only truly contribute our presence and our perspectives. Things we can only witness or hold space for. We cannot go back and bleed the pain out of history, or erase the complexity of another person's life. Not honestly, at least.

But those are the times that need our presence, our perspectives, our witness, and our space. When we gather round and tell sad tales about the death of kings, honesty can be the only thing you give that's worth a damn in the large scale of things.

If this dude had owned up to the truth and honestly showed the work of trying to piece together a queer understanding of the world, trying to draw the threads of culture together until he found a place he fit inside them, it would have been so much more valuable to our culture as a whole.

He probably made more money this way, though. While it lasted.

[directdogman]

A large Milt post.

The funny thing about writing characters is that you often forget how little of them you've shown off. Milt's pretty detached from the plot (not even being explicitly mentioned in-game) so I guess it's fair to say that the audience doesn't really 'know' him well.

Given how much detail the audience knows about Crown's life during the war and immediately after it, it'd be interesting to mention a little bit about Milt's war history, especially since Crown's time during the war is pretty important to understanding a part of his character - why he was so dead-set on changing the world. Ironically, Milt's experiences were very different in a lot of ways, but wound up bringing him to the same place. This information would be obscure, but likely known to anyone who'd want to study him in DT's universe, so I guess there's no harm in mentioning some of it:

Milt was born into a more affluent family than Crown's and didn't face the same kind of nail-biting poverty that Crown did as a child. He was a Corporal (Acting Sgt) by the end of the war and had a distinguished record as a war hero. He was very well respected by those in his platoon, having a reputation for honesty, kindness and always following through on his word, no matter the circumstances. However, was also known to be someone you didn't wanna push around or back into a corner, as he was fiercely intelligent and very determined - not the sort of person you'd want to wrong.

He was a part of the DDay landings during the European campaign, an event he remembers as a terrifying and chaotic loss of life. Milt later rejected claims of his valor during the landing in the years following the war. After the fall of Berlin in mid 1945, Milt rejected the opportunity to remain in Europe as an occupying force (which was available to him because of his reputation/rank) in order to join the Pacific Theater. This was partially out of a sense of survivor's guilt (personally knowing many soldiers from his town who'd died in the campaign) and partly because he feared returning to relative peace and being alone with his thoughts again.

Milt's time in the Pacific Theater isn't nearly as well known due to how unwilling he was to talk about it to anyone, though he once opened up to Marla about it. Milt witnessed the destruction of Hiroshima from a distance, an event that's forever etched into his mind.

When Milt returned to the States, with a military scholarship, he decided to focus his efforts into trying to make the world a better place and began studying science. His dream was to develop a new form of irrigation that could terraform large swathes of land into farmland so the whole world could be fed. Due to his intelligence and determination in seeking his goal, he wound up taking to his work well. He took a keen interest in the new concept of the structure of DNA in particular, which was discovered in the early 1950's, believing that genetic modification could be used to create new forms of plant life that could feed vast amounts of people. Milt never ceased contact with his contacts from University, nor lost his love for science and the pursuit of a better world through the advancement of technology/science. But, most of all, he never abandoned his dream of making the world a better place, one where the horrors he'd witnessed as a younger man (such as mass human death, starvation and mass-chaos) could never happen again.

Shortly after graduating, he attended a political rally in Madison, Wisconsin and met a passionate public speaker/local business owner who'd change the course of his life forever. The rest is history.

[freckledjoes]

(In)sanity

Steddie Christmas fic! Summary: Eddie returns to Hawkins for the holidays and stumbles upon a very detailed snowman that resembles someone familiar... Warnings: Don't read this if you hate Christmas. And cute shit. Author's note: Be gentle <3 I don't really post things I write. I'm sure it's flawed in more ways than one. I focused on the cuteness, not the UD plot, so if that's vague, it's because of that. This came to fruition because of this post. Word count: 7299

Alright, fine. The rumor’s out: Eddie Munson had returned to Hawkins for the holidays. To his credit though, he had in fact gotten ‘the hell out of there’ once Higgins had finally been forced to hand him his diploma. It was just that, when he arrived in New York, things had been… difficult. You don’t just up and leave and suddenly make it with your band, apparently. Especially not when said band actually decided to do weird shit like going to college. But… It was fine. He did have a good time, found some people that did in fact enjoy his presence (some mostly preferred him inside their beds, which was new) and he enjoyed skipping from roommate to roommate duty all around town.

And yet… here he was. Eddie claimed he had gone back for the holidays. To see Wayne, the Hellfire kids, and yeah. Part of that was true. The other part was just that he couldn’t find his footing in New York, not by himself. As fun as it had been to discover the New York version of Eddie Munson, it hadn’t really been… him. No one really bothered to get to know the real him and in all honesty, he had been enthusiastically hiding him anyway. He had pretended to enjoy mainstream music (It was fine, just not really his jam to dance to until 5AM - which he had. Several times too many. Shudder), drank fancy coffees that he couldn’t really afford and hadn’t mentioned Dungeons & Dragons ONCE after he received a funny look from his second roommate.

Which is why it felt like a breath of fresh air to be back in Hawkins. Where people thought he worshipped Satan, attended virgin sacrifice ceremonies and was an obnoxious good for nothing waste of space. 

It was familiar.

And honestly? He wasn’t even sure who he was anymore sometimes. Getting rid of the super senior title kind of forced him to go do something with his life.

But what?

His trusted van greeted him in the parking lot he had left her at and he was surprised it hadn’t been towed yet, in all honesty. At first Eddie hadn’t been sure it was his van considering she had almost become one with the parking lot due to all the snowfall. To no one’s surprise though, when Eddie had wiped off most of the snow and turned the key, she didn’t have more in her than a splutter of her engine before she went back into hibernation. 

And so, Eddie walked. He knew Wayne wouldn’t be home yet, so he decided to take a detour. The quiet streets carried as much of a negative familiarity as a positive one. He’d been out on those streets for many reasons, taking long walks either high or sober, contemplating pretty much everything about his life long enough for the sun to come up.

Tonight though, he had different things to think about. Or maybe not that different. He had to decide whether he was going to go back to New York (probably not) or if he was going to stay in Hawkins (probably not) and if neither of those, then what? Nothing kept him in either place anymore. Wayne was doing just fine without him and although he missed him, he also wanted to give him some well deserved time for himself. 

Well, him and Claudia Henderson, apparently.

Wayne acted quite funny about it. Claimed the woman didn’t take no for an answer and kept bringing food over, kept inviting him for dinner, and at some point, he had grabbed her hand and kissed her cheek and that was that. For a man who wanted to pretend that he wasn’t smitten with her, he surely needed to work on keeping his smile out of his voice during their phone calls.

Eddie was genuinely happy for him, though he had deliberately avoided thinking about what it might mean for him and Dustin. The idea of a smartass little step-brother wasn’t exactly appealing—not that it would be all that different from how Dustin acted already.

That being said… he hadn’t heard from him at all lately. Or any of the other kids, for that matter. It wasn’t exactly surprising, considering they had their own friend group going on and didn’t need Eddie to entertain them, but a small part of him had hoped that maybe, they at least missed him as their DM.

He fiddled with his lighter and tucked his hair behind his ear before lighting his cigarette (he had learned to keep his hair out of the way after burning some of it… four times). He had barely realized he had wandered into the forest until his elbow hit a tree and he apologized.

“Shit, sorry,” he mumbled, looking back at the tree as if it was going to respond. He was about to face forward again when realization kicked in that it wasn’t a tree he had just walked into. Instead it was some kind of snow sculpture, or an ice sculpture? It surely was really fucking sturdy if it survived that elbow clash.

He walked a few steps backwards to properly observe the statue and noted that it was quite an odd placement, here, in the middle of the woods. Honestly, where did someone even get that much snow? The trees did a good job at shielding most of the ground and it didn’t look like any snow had been scraped whatsoever either. Weird. Eddie looked at the statue, which was surprisingly about his own height and he wondered how he had missed it. Ironically, the snowman was quite a looker. Flowy hair (how did they even manage that?), a strong jawline, muscular but not too muscular. Hmm. He took a step closer to inspect the statue some more and scoffed when he realized something.

The statue looked… familiar.

It reminded him of someone he wanted to forget all about, actually. The amount of time this very person spent at the forefront, sides and back of his mind was actually embarrassing. He didn’t even like the guy. He was just—

“You remind me of someone,” Eddie declared out loud, nodding along to his own statement. “Yeah, some asshole jock I used to go to school with. Didn’t really have personal beef with him, but his friends were fucking awful and well, by association… so is he. Plus, being popular and a jock basically means you’re a dickhead anyway. It’s written in the fucking stars, just like I’m a good for nothing lo—anyway,” Eddie cleared his throat and finally took a first drag of his cigarette.

“I guess someone must really like this guy though, if they make a snow statue of him in the middle of the woods like it’s their dirty little secret. Shame, actually. Bet he’d love the ego boost. Last time I checked his casanova days seemed to be practically over. Not that I care. It’s just obvious when a loud, obnoxious guy like that suddenly isn’t.”

Eddie knew he was talking out of his ass at the ‘loud and obnoxious’ part. If anything, he was talking about his past self there. However, he wasn’t totally wrong about the change of Harrington’s lady magnet wearing off causing some suspicion.

“Anyway… dunno why I’m even talking to you. I’m bored, I guess. My car broke down, had to walk all the fucking way so I figured I’d give myself a nostalgic route through the forest and there you were! Doubt you get a lot of visitors, huh? What am I even saying, maybe you’re like, a day old. Who knows when the fuck they made you, huh?”

He gazed up at the statue again as if expecting a response, but of course none came. Three cigarettes and some nonsensical rambling later, he finally bid the snow statue goodnight and walked home.

Home.

Wayne would always be his home, he figured, whether he still lived there or not. A part of him wasn’t entirely looking forward to seeing Wayne again. He had missed him terribly, but he wasn’t ready for the conversation to lead to New York and what he had been doing over there. Not much to tell really, other than the usual: he had failed to make anything of himself.

The small light on the porch was on when Eddie finally arrived at the trailer and he wondered whether Wayne left it on for him or if he was actually home. He used his key to get inside and let the familiar scent of the trailer hit his nose. It carried a mix of emotions with it, however the good ones always prevailed. He gently closed the door behind him in case Wayne slept, but noticed the door to the bedroom was slightly ajar. Moving closer, he carefully listened for a sound, but there was none. His hand blindly found the lightswitch and to his surprise, the room looked just as he had left it, except with clean sheets.

Eddie walked to the living room and found Wayne’s sofa bed, clearly recently used. It made him wonder whether Wayne had used the bedroom at all ever since he left. Back when Eddie was getting ready to leave for New York, he had reminded Wayne of the fact that he could finally use the bedroom again at last, to which Wayne had joked that his joints might not be ready for the comfort of an actual proper mattress. Now, Eddie just wondered if he had that little faith in him? Expected him back within a month? He never seemed to doubt Eddie’s resolve to move to New York though, at least not back then. Eddie let go of a sigh and walked back to the bedroom to drop his stuff there. Wayne had his habits, and breaking them by sleeping on the couch instead wasn’t gonna be pleasant for him, even if Eddie thought he really should use the bedroom already.

The next morning, Eddie woke up from sounds in the kitchen. When the smell of eggs and bacon hit his nose, he dragged himself out of bed and staggered out of his old room in sweats and a t-shirt. Wayne didn’t look up from the stove, but a smile was evident on his face.

“How come you’re not using the bedroom?” Eddie asked while he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. Wayne gave him a short glance before putting the eggs and bacon on their plates.

“That’s one way to say hello,” Wayne mumbled as he turned and sat down at their kitchen table. Eddie joined him.

“Hello,” Eddie said pointedly, “so? Why not?”

Wayne shrugged.

“Been used to sleepin’ on the sofa for so long. Don’t need the extra room.”

“Your back would appreciate it, you know.”

With a roll of his eyes he gestured at Eddie with the nice he was holding.

“Eat your breakfast, son.”

They ate in silence after that. Neither of them were very talkative just after waking up and it was a common agreement that breakfast was meant for eating and less for chit chatting. It felt nice, being back home. Listening to the way Wayne huffed at the blunt knife not doing its job, the creaking sound of the floor whenever he shifted, the inconsistent barking outside from the dog of one of their neighbors.

“So, how’s New York?” Wayne asked. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t talked about it on the phone before, but it had been a year since Eddie had been home. If Eddie was honest, he wanted to hug the man. He had missed him so much. But that wasn’t a common thing. Hugs. They hugged when it mattered. It wasn’t much of a casual thing.

“It’s alright,” Eddie replied casually. “I’m staying with a guy currently, his name’s… Theo. Short for Theodore.”

“A recent thing?”

“What do you mean?”

“Since you had to think about his name.”

Right. To be fair, Eddie had only moved in with him last week. It was part of the reason why he hadn’t left anything valuable back there, just in case. Theo seemed like a chill guy, however, many people in New York seemed chill at first. Anyway.

“It’s a recent thing, yeah. Kinda been couch hopping for a while now.”

“I see. You like it there?”

“It’s alright. Just can’t really find my footing yet. It’ll take some time I guess.”

Wayne gave him a look. It had some concern etched in it, and Eddie did not like that one bit. He didn’t want Wayne to worry about him.

“You can always stay here, if you need more time figuring things out.”

“I’m fine, Wayne,” Eddie mumbled, making sure to look at his uncle as he spoke. “I promise.”

He knew he hadn’t convinced him when Wayne stayed quiet and continued to finish his food, but there really wasn’t anything else to say. He was fine.

He was fine.

Later that day, Eddie decided to check on the Hellfire kids. He knew Gareth, Jeff and Doug were out of town, so that left the others. However when he tried to phone their homes, no one picked up. At least not until Dustin.

“Hey, man. What’s up? It’s Eddie. I’m back in town for the holidays and I thought—”

Dustin quickly interrupted him, sounding distracted.

“Oh, hey Eddie, uhm— I’m kinda in the middle of something right now. Is this important?”

Eddie frowned, feeling a pang of disappointment in his chest at Dustin’s indifferent reaction. He knew he wasn’t exactly at the top of anyone’s friend list, but part of him at least thought he was liked enough to be greeted with a little more excitement.

“Uh, no, not really I guess.”

“Ok, cool, I’ll talk to you soon, yeah? Bye!”

Before Eddie could even respond, Eddie heard the dull tone on the other hand signaling that Dustin had hung up already.

“Okay…” he sighed to himself. “Whatever, man.”

Eddie spent most of his afternoon trying to fix his van, partially to have something to do and partially because she deserved better than being neglected in a random parking lot. He hadn’t really thought it through when he parked her there as it was the closest parking lot to get to the bus he needed to get on back then. Thankfully, after about two to three hours, she was gently rumbling again and he could take her back home to Wayne’s.

Wayne had left him a note that he left early for his shift, which for Eddie was code for ‘went to visit Claudia before work’, because Wayne never left a minute earlier or later than he had to when it came to work. Bored out of his mind, Eddie decided to play music for a bit, indulge in some beers and eventually, he figured it was time for a nightly escapade. He rolled a particularly strong joint and set off to find out whether the mystery snowman was still there or not.

It had been stuck in his mind all day, for some reason. He was still curious who had sculpted it, and he wondered if maybe he’d run into them. Or perhaps it was already destroyed. Or some animal peed on it. On a whim, he draped a large red scar around his neck and he set off for the woods. There had been a bit more snowfall during the evening, meaning that the forest path was dusted in white again. He felt it crunch underneath his boots and while he enjoyed it for the first ten minutes, he quickly got annoyed with the strain it put on his legs as he walked. Soon enough though, he came to the clearing where the snowman still stood as he had found him the day before.

“I’m back,” Eddie announced before softly chuckling to himself. He had tried to save the joint for when he arrived but instead had already smoked up most of it on the way out of pure boredom. Safe to say, he was feeling a pleasant buzz already. “Did ya miss me?”

He glanced at the statue and wondered why he hadn’t noticed before that whoever made this snowman hadn’t bothered to give the poor man clothes. In fact, it was awfully detailed, at least until the snowman’s waist. Anything below that was just one big piece of snow. As Eddie leaned in closer, he noticed how his chest actually seemed sort of… textured? A great representation of Harrington’s chest hair, not that he’d known much about it. It even had nipples. The only thing missing, probably, were his distinctive moles. What a wasted opportunity. Those freckles and moles were the best part of the damn guy.

“You know, I said you looked like someone yesterday, right? Asshole jock, that one? The name’s Steve Harrington. Whoever made you is really obsessed with the man because the details of that chest are way too accurate. I mean— anyway. I wonder if this girl’s gonna show him. That would be awkward. Funny, but awkward…”

Eddie took a last hit and flicked the roach somewhere in the snow.

“Don’t think he’s dating that Wheeler girl anymore, so who knows. Maybe she’s got a shot. The one who made this, I mean. Like, I’d be pretty flattered if anyone took the time to recreate me like this. Also creeped out though. Cause… It's pretty insane, right? Fuck I’m rambling. Why would you care? You’re a fucking statue,” Eddie groaned at his own inability to shut up and sat himself down on the ground. He let his hands sink in the snow as he leaned back on them, which he immediately regretted as an icy cold feeling crept up his fingers. He kept his hands there for a good minute before he put them in his lap and rubbed them warm.

“I honestly thought people would be more excited to see me, ya know,” Eddie sighed, unsure why he was still rambling to a damn snowman. “None of the kids picked up and the one that did said that he didn’t have time. I literally was out of town for almost a year. And there wasn’t even a hint of surprise at me being back. It’s like… I mean, clearly he doesn’t give a fuck. And I shouldn’t give a fuck either, but what the hell, man. It kinda sucks.”

Almost as if to prove to himself how stubborn he was, he let himself fall back on the snow and moved his arms and legs around to make a snow angel until he once again remembered that snow was cold. And wet. And he wasn’t wearing enough to handle wet clothes in more places than his butt at the moment. Speaking of his butt, he realized at that moment that it had gone completely numb.

With some effort, he lifted himself off the ground and wiped off some of the snow wherever he could reach it.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it then. For some reason I wanna thank you for listening, which is so fucked up. How starved for human contact am I, really? Jesus Christ.”

He waited for a moment, as if he expected the snowman to respond. He adjusted his scarf a little and grimaced at the itchiness. He looked at the naked torso of the snowman and hummed to himself.

“Actually,” he started as he took off the red scarf, “you can have this one. For your modesty or whatever,” Eddie added with a soft chuckle. He draped the scarf around the snowman’s neck and gently secured it at the front. “There. Gorgeous as ever.”

Eddie nodded as he walked away from the snowman.

“Yeah, you heard me. Asshole jock is annoyingly handsome. Too hot for his own good. Such a waste of pretty features.”

Between him and the snowman, he was pretty sure no one believed him at that last part.

Christmas Eve had been wonderful. He had a good talk with Wayne about New York, finally got some more info on Claudia— and apparently Dustin got along well with Wayne too, which filled him with both relief and some envy. Though, when Eddie asked if Dustin had been around when Wayne went to see Claudia, he had said he was out with friends. So at least he was as busy as he claimed to be, in some way. They also played some cards and enjoyed a few too many drinks. Which was why Wayne was already passed out on the couch while Eddie gingerly sipped from another glass of whiskey, enjoying the quiet of his head a little too much to stop.

If only his mind had been quiet enough to not be compelled to go to the snowman again. Really, he had no business there. But for some reason it was nice to just talk to an inanimate object that still represented a human. He’d been smart enough to bring a plastic bag to sit on this time while he rambled on about his failed life in New York. How he wasn’t sure what he was doing, what he wanted, what his next step would be. He talked about anything and everything.

So naturally, Steve Harrington was a topic Eddie couldn’t avoid, one he just had to mention. Again.

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten about you, Frosty,” Eddie teased as he rounded around the snowman and prodded his pecs. “Y’know, if you were real, I’d probably flirt with you,” he admitted gingerly. “If you were real and not Steve Harrington, that is. I’m not that stupid.”

He sat down with a huff and squinted up at the statue as if he was looking into the sun.

“I feel like we’re on a level where I can be honest with you, right? Those people in New York? Not all girls. Guys too. I’m into both. Which brings me back to you and your insufferable look-a-like. ‘Cause you’re the OG now. I’ve had more conversations with you than I ever did with him. Pretty one-sided still, but you get what I mean.”

Eddie paused for effect, letting it hang in the air for a bit to keep up the suspense.

“He was like, my first guy crush. I’m pretty sure anyway. I used to daydream about him and his stupid hair and how I wanted to grab it and make him look at me with those goddamn beautiful hazel eyes before I’d kiss him. I had never kissed anyone back then, by the way. But strong fantasies do the trick. And well, daydream about the same guy too often and you realize you have a problem, I guess. At least, it was a problem back then. Didn’t love having yet another thing about me that didn’t fit the mold.”

He absently kicked against a branch, which barely moved an inch so he left it at that.

“Now I’m cool with it. I mean, it’s fun. But back then it was torture because it felt like a waste to spend so much time thinking about a straight guy. Like, there was no way this dude was ever gonna be into me. Even if he was into guys. He surely wouldn’t be into me. So yeah. Uh. No one knows about this by the way. I hid this one pretty well if I may say so myself.”

He grimaced and pulled his knees up so he could wrap his arms around them and rest his chin on top of it. It felt good to say all of it out loud for once. Even in New York he had made up a different story, because being into Steve Harrington was something he simply hadn’t been ready to admit out loud. Apparently, now he was. From his inside pocket, he grabbed a flask that he had filled with the remaining whiskey and took a ginger sip.

“Kinda pathetic, isn’t it. Christmas Eve, and I’m sitting here talking to you.” A beat. A soft sigh. “Kinda wish you were real.”

Eddie let his fantasies get the better of him as he sipped from his flask, looking up at the handsome snowman who, by the way, still wore his scarf. With some effort he got back up on his feet, wobbling a little as the alcohol made its way to his brain and slowed him down. He paused when he was right in front of the snowman, staring into its eyes which seemed to stare right back at him, even if the pupils were missing.

“Ah, what the hell.” Eddie leaned forward and pressed a quick, teasing kiss to the snowman’s lips. There. Now he could—

At first, he thought it was raining. He felt droplets land into his hair and on his cheeks, and his clothes felt a little damp until the feeling suddenly evaporated entirely.

Eddie stumbled backwards and blinked his eyes rapidly, wondering if he’d really gone too far on his alcohol consumption this time. But, that couldn’t be, this wasn’t even half of what he would throw back on a good weekend. Or a bad one, depending how you’d look at it.

“Eddie,”

Fuck. Eddie blinked again. Fuck fuck FUCK. His voice was hoarse, sounding a mix of relieved yet confused, and mostly tired. His voice, belonging to Steve Harrington.

Eddie stared at him, took notice of how the snowman was definitely gone and how there was now an actual human standing there. And not just some human. Steve Harrington. Alive. Barefoot. Bare everything, really, except for the red scarf still draped around his neck. Surprisingly it was long enough to do all the way down to his junk. Not that Eddie was looking.

Eddie did the only sensible thing. 

He screamed.

The silence that followed Eddie’s scream was deafening, save for the soft sound of snow falling around them. When did it start to snow again anyway? Steve flinched, his hands covering his ears not long before his hands started to do a complete body check, all while Eddie looked like he had seen a monster.

They stared at each other in silence for a moment, their breaths coming out in visible puffs of air. Eddie felt like laughing, crying and straight-up bolting and never looking back altogether. Steve visibly shivered and wrapped his arms around himself.

“You were the statue,” Eddie muttered under his breath, and Steve nodded.

“Yup,” he responded, with a weak pop of his P.

“There’s no way. There’s no fucking way. I must have accidentally just ate an entire tray of edibles and not remember or I don’t fucking know—”

“I can explain— sort of. I think. I don’t know the details yet.”

“Yet?! What?”

“It’s uh… kind of a long story,” Steve winced.

“Kind of a long story?” Eddie’s laugh came out shrill, almost hysterical. “You can’t just magically un-snowman yourself and then just say that! Kind of a long story?!”

“Hey! I didn’t magically un-snowman myself! That was your doing! And by the way, I’m not fucking thrilled about this either, alright? I’m freezing my goddamn balls off here.”

Steve tried to let the scarf cover a larger portion of his body but failed to do so. Meanwhile, Eddie had already shrugged off his winter coat and threw it in Steve’s direction.

“The fuck? What do you mean I magically un-snowmanned you?” Eddie almost sounded offended at the mere suggestion, but Steve didn’t have time for that as he quickly put the coat on. It didn’t do much for his lower half, but it was much better than nothing. He sighed contentedly. When Eddie’s eyes met his, he realized he hadn’t answered his question yet.

“You kissed me,” Steve said matter-of-factly.

Eddie felt like his heart stopped. “What?” he asked weakly, “no I didn’t.”

“Yeah, you did.” Steve gestured vaguely at his mouth. “That’s when it happened. You kissed me, and then—poof. Back to normal. Sort of.”

“No fucking way.” Eddie shook his head vigorously, his hair getting even more frizzed in the process. “That wasn’t—it wasn’t even like, a real kiss!” Eddie protested. “How would that…”

“Beats me.” Steve looked around at the clearing, his breath fogging in the cold. “But… uh, thanks, I guess?”

Eddie’s face burned hotter than it ever had in this forsaken gold weather.

“Don’t thank me. I’m not—this isn’t—you were a snowman, Steve.”

Steve couldn’t help but smirk.

“You go around kissing snowmen often? Or just the annoyingly handsome ones?”

Eddie froze.

“Oh no. No, no, nope, I’m out. I gotta— Fuck this is so bad.”

He covered his face with his hands and turned away from Steve as he tried to recall all the things he had told the snowman—told Steve.

“Eddie,” Steve’s voice was soft, almost hesitant. “It’s not… that bad.”

Eddie’s mouth turned into a thin line and he shook his head.

“Forget it. Let’s get you uh, home, or something.”

Steve sighed and put his hands deeper in Eddie’s coat. It was actually pretty warm, thanks to Eddie wearing it prior.

“It’s fine, I can get home and I’ll just… I promise to drop the coat off as soon as I’m dressed, alright?”

He was surprised to hear a scoff out of Eddie and looked up, only to be met with soft eyes that were nowhere as loud as the indignant sounds his mouth made.

“I’m not letting you go home alone like this, Harrington. Don’t you know what happens to pretty boys when they show their ankles late at night?” Eddie asked rhetorically, happy to see that it got a smile out of Steve. The last thing he wanted was for Steve to think he was a bother. Which… was uncharacteristic of him in general, wasn’t it? Eddie nodded towards something that once resembled a path.

“It’s that way, right? To your place?”

“Forgive me if I’m a little disoriented right now,” Steve said dryly. Eddie smirked and sat down on the ground as he started to undo his boots. He put them in front of Steve and looked up. For a moment, he needed all his willpower not to look at something else that piqued his interest, only just hidden by the scarf and coat. It was a good thing the coat was a little long on him.

“Try them on?”

Steve wanted to protest, but one look at Eddie convinced him that it would just be a waste of time to have a back and forth with him and so, he picked up a boot and did his best to balance himself against the tree to put one on. Thankfully, it fit. After putting the other one on, he looked at Eddie’s feet. Two mismatching socks, a red and a green one.

“Festive,” Steve said with a nod to the socks.

“What can I say, I am a huge enjoyer of Christmas.”

“Right.”

They started to walk towards Steve home at a gentle pace. The streets were empty, mostly due to the fact that everyone was busy celebrating and that it was also kind of late already. Both of them were grateful for that. They didn’t want to know what people would say or do if they saw them like this. Neither boy said much on the way home. The cold controlled their thoughts more than they liked, with Eddie’s feet being soaking wet and Steve, well. He had never felt so small there. Part of him wondered if it would still work and not just fall off due to frostbite or something.

When they arrived at Steve’s place, he fished a spare key from inside a flowerpot to which Eddie tutted, saying it was too obvious. Steve ignored him and opened the door, only then realizing that the lights were on.

“What the—”

“STEVE! Steve! You’re— but how?! We searched all over for you but you were— Eddie?”

Dustin abruptly stopped talking to stare at Eddie, then back to Steve and back to Eddie again. Eddie noticed that Dustin wasn’t the only one in Steve’s house. In fact, it was an odd combination of people. All the Hellfire kids were there, as well as… Robin? Nancy? And Jonathan? While Steve had been away for at least three days?

“Listen— we can talk this through after I’ve put on some clothes, alright? I would say make yourself at home but… seems like you’re doing just fine,” he said, his expression one that would’ve made Eddie laugh if all of this hadn’t been the weirdest thing he’d ever lived through.

Without waiting for an answer, Steve ascended the stairs stiffly, only to turn around halfway and look at Eddie.

“You coming?”

And if that didn’t cause a great mixture of facial expressions, including Eddie’s. However, he nodded wordlessly and quickly followed Steve upstairs. He followed Steve right into the bathroom and then realized maybe he shouldn’t have, because Steve suddenly dropped the coat and took off the scarf and Eddie’s shoes without a second thought and jumped into the shower. Right in front of him. Like it was nothing. Must be a remnant of being a jock and being naked around other guys all the time, Eddie supposed. But wait—

Eddie had confessed that he was into guys, which apparently, Steve had been able to hear as well. And Steve wasn’t… weird about it? Yet? So what did that—

“Hey, Eddie, could you uh, maybe grab some clothes in my room? I was so focused on not being cold that I kinda forgot.” Steve was only a blur now, with the steam fogging up the glass wall between them. “Grab some for yourself as well, whatever you need.”

“Uh… okay,” Eddie said hesitantly, swallowing the question why Steve wanted him upstairs. Probably just to give him socks, he realized later. It felt illegal to be in Harrington’s (he needed to keep him at a mental distance) lair, though it hadn’t been the first time he had been up there. He remembered one party where he had gone up to this room after selling all his stuff and then laying down on Harrington’s bed for a couple minutes before a couple footsteps made him bolt right out again veeeery quickly. Anyway, back to business.

Eddie rummaged through the drawers to find some clean socks for both, a pair of underwear for Ste— Harrington, and managed to find a sweater (a Christmas one) and some black sweatpants for him. He took off his own wet socks and figured he’d just let them air dry while he waited outside of the bathroom. After about five more minutes, Steve emerged from the bathroom with a towel around his waist and looked startled when Eddie was right in front of him.

“Oh— Here you are. Why didn’t you just come in? Don’t you gotta dry your feet?”

Eddie shrugged.

“It’s fine. Uh, here.” He quickly handed Steve his clothes, who this time at least had the decency to go back in the bathroom to put it all on. Eddie took the opportunity to put on the dry pair of socks and was only a little annoyed with how good they felt on his feet. Rich people and their quality socks… Once Steve came back out, he had a funny look on his face and pointed at his sweater.

“Really?”

“I mean, someone’s gotta be festive, my socks are swapped now, so…”

“Right.” Steve looked in the direction of the stairs and bit down on his bottom lip. “Uh… about that thing that happened in the woods—”

“I won’t tell a soul.”

Steve frowned and waved at him dismissively. “Not that, I mean, the snowman thing. There’s uh… I don’t know how to explain this in under five minutes, but there’s this other dimension and there’s some weird evil shit happening there and now this, creature, whatever it is, started to turn people into statues. We have no idea how many people it has happened to, I mean, I froze shortly after Lucas did, so I don’t know much… Anyway, it’s gonna be a lot to take in, alright? But I promise you’re not going insane, it’s all real, we’ve all uh, kinda been here before.”

Steve had rushed out the words so fast that Eddie’s ears were ringing. He blinked a couple times, figured a nod would suffice and looked up at Steve again.

“Right… okay. And everyone downstairs is involved?”

Steve nodded.

“Kind of, not on purpose or anything. I’m sure you’ll hear the full story at some point from one of us. ‘Cause… you’re in this now. You can try to forget this shit but you won’t. Just be happy you haven’t seen anything severe.”

“Sounds ominous,” Eddie remarked.

“Yeah, well. It is,” Steve replied matter-of-factly. “Wanna go back downstairs?”

“Sure…”

“So… what. It’s gone now?” Steve asked. Dustin had explained what he had missed out on the past week or so and he had brought Eddie up to speed with the remaining bits that were relevant for now. Apparently El (who Eddie hadn’t even noticed before) had used her superpowers (whatever that meant) to freeze the guy, creature, thing, in return and that was that.

“Yup, and I think everyone should be fine. I mean, Lucas immediately came to and I guess you must have too, since you’re suddenly back here?” Dustin asked. He glanced over to Eddie and he could tell he had a million questions about how him and Steve somehow became a duo, but he seemed to restrain himself.

“Uh, oh. Yeah, I guess so,” Steve replied vaguely, glancing over at Eddie briefly before avoiding his gaze again. “By the way, Eddie found me. So, that’s why he’s here. Which brings me to the question… how the hell did you guys get in here?”

“You don’t hide your spare key well enough,” Max shrugged.

“But it was right where I left it?”

“Well, duh. Where else would we put it?” Mike interjected, immediately making Steve want to roll his eyes. He glanced over at Nancy and Jonathan, who sat huddled close together on the couch.

“So everyone’s okay?” he asked, looking at Nancy, then Robin. The latter nodded.

“At least those that we knew of.”

“And… that monster or whatever isn’t gonna melt itself or something?” Eddie asked softly, glancing over at El, who shook her head.

“He won’t,” she said confidently. Man, Eddie wishes he was that confident about this all.

They talked for a little longer, but eventually decided it would be best if everyone would get some sleep, especially Lucas and Steve considering their situation. Nancy and Jonathan had come with separate cars, so there was enough room to take them all home. When Eddie tried to sneak out the door, muttering some joint goodbyes along with the others, Steve stopped him by grabbing his wrist.

“Your stuff’s still upstairs,” he said softly, although Eddie had a vague feeling that Steve cared very little about that right now.

“Oh, right…”

Dustin turned his head towards them suspiciously as Jonathan drove out of the driveway and Steve simply gave him a quick wave before closing the door behind them.

“So.”

“So…” Eddie repeated.

“Guess it wasn’t some sleeping beauty meets prince type of situation,” Steve mumbled, and he sounded almost disappointed. Eddie smirked and crossed his arms while looking at Steve intently.

“Yeah, no fairytale for us, I suppose.”

Steve hummed softly and moved a little closer. Eddie tried to keep his distance, but Steve was relentless and patient in his slow chase, moving closer until Eddie hit the back of the couch and grabbed onto it for support, less he’d topple over backwards and that would be way too embarrassing.

“You said that if I was real, you’d flirt with me,” Steve reminded him while teasing his finger gently along a lost strand of Eddie’s hair.

“I’m also pretty sure I mentioned I’m smart enough not to go for a straight guy,” Eddie reminded him in return. He tried to control his heart palpitations and failed terribly, especially when Steve smiled slowly, leaned in even closer to the point that Eddie could feel tiny droplets of water land in his neck from Steve’s hair.

“You’re into both,” Steve said. “Why can’t I?”

“I mean… you’re Steve Harrington,” Eddie said weakly.

“Mhm. And you’re Eddie Munson,” Steve said with a nod, “the guy who spent three nights in a row, or at least, I think they were nights, visiting a snowman that resembled me, Steve Harrington, and poured his heart out to him, it, whatever, and then kissed me—it.”

“Did you…’ Eddie started, and he looked over at the door. He was ready to run if he had to. Ready to escape the wrath that was about to be bestowed upon him if he spoke these thoughts out loud. “Did you like it?”

Steve cocked his head with a smile and lifted one shoulder casually.

“I don’t know. It was a little short, and my mind was kind of occupied with other things. I could be a better judge this time around.”

“This—This time around?” Eddie stammered.

“Unless you don’t want to, I mean, after all, you had a lot of things to say about me.”

“Harrington— I mean, Steve, I— I didn’t mean it like that. The things I said… I was just rambling. I would never say that stuff about you if you were within hearing distance, ‘cause it’s not… true. I know you’re a good guy and—”

“Eddie.”

“Yes…?”

Eddie looked up at Steve, who suddenly seemed a little taller for some reason, towering over him as his hand moved to cup his jaw, thumb grazing his cheekbone softly. He searched his eyes for anything, anything that would explain what was happening because surely Steve wasn’t about to kiss—

Steve was kissing him.

Steve Harrington was kissing him.

Steve Harrington was kissing Eddie Munson.

On the mouth, no less.

Eddie wasted about half a minute before he regained enough composure to kiss him back. It was hesitant, shy, almost. Steve giggled into the kiss and gave him a few pecks in between.

“C’mon,” he urged him softly, sweetly. “Gimme a real kiss already.”

Eddie did.

He grabbed Steve’s face with both hands, stood up straight, and nudged him back until Steve’s shoulders hit the wall. Their tongues danced, fighting for dominance, as Steve smiled into the kiss. Eddie shifted, planting his hands on either side of Steve's head and threading their fingers together, grounding them both in the moment.

Suddenly, Eddie pulled back. Steve looked at him with a dazed expression and when Eddie dropped his hands, he held onto his waist instead.

“Eddie…?”

“Wait—” Eddie said, even as he leaned into Steve’s touch. “I’m still kinda drunk, right? So I gotta know that this,” he gestured between them, “is real.”

Steve visibly relaxed and gently squeezed his waist.

“It’s real,” Steve almost whispered, thumbs circling Eddie’s shirt. “We’ve got some catching up to do, but it’s all real.”

“You don’t uh, hate me for the things I said?”

“You kept me sane in there. And a little humbled, but that’s alright,” Steve teased with a grin. “If it wasn’t for you being there… I think I would’ve gone insane.”

“Sorry for only visiting so little then,” Eddie mumbled. “In my defence, I thought you were just a very detailed snowman.”

“Oh, right. Something about my chest hair? You mentioned how accurate it was, or something.”

Eddie’s cheeks immediately turned visibly pink.

“Shut up,” Eddie said quickly, “shut up right now.”

Steve shook his head and smiled.

“Nah.” He paused. “Unless you make me.”

Eddie smirked as Steve wiggled his eyebrows cheekily at him. How could he ever turn down an offer like that? 

Of course he kissed him.

Hope you liked it! If you did, a reblog would be most appreciated. :) That's how the work can travel to other eyes after all! Would love to hear your thoughts whatsoever. And uh, Merry early Christmas!

[gatorbites-imagines]

Some paz vizsla x sith male reader?

Paz Vizsla x Sith male reader

Headcanons

Because of my love for fanfic and the Kotor games, theres a lot of headcanosn in this. I will find a way to involve Revan when I can, so he’s also there, in the background. Theres also a single Revan x Canderous mention.

Theres so much about Kotor in this, it really took a life of its own, so I hope you enjoy.

I missed writing star wars so bad, can yall tell?

First of all, being Sith doesn’t immediately make you evil. It just means you follow a specific religious groups way of teaching and practice their rituals to some extent. This means you use the dark side, and have nothing against harming others to reach a goal.

You aren’t as power hungry as other sith in this time, and you aren’t under Palpatine’s thumb. Far from it actually. The dark side is to some extent fueled by your hate for the empire and anyone involved with it, as you were once a jedi youngling when the purging happened.

You were a padawan at the time, and your master had always been very interested in holocrons and the past. Their most prized possession was the holocron of Darth Revan, or one of his many holocrons that had been left all over the galaxy.

So, after you saw them gunned down by the clonetroopers you thought you could trust, you ran, taking an escape pod to get as far away as possible. It just turns out you had been carrying Revan’s holocron in your bag at the time, and after landing on a smaller less populated planet, you had hidden away in its vast cave system.

You feared going mad for a while, as you were just a padawan, one who had lost everything. You were almost consumed by this anger and rage, so uncontrollable as you cracked at the edges and fell.

Revan’s force presence must have felt this inside the holocron, as he appeared before you, and guided you through it, keeping you from completely shattering your mind and becoming a beast hellbent on revenge.

From then on, Revan became your new master, leading you around the galaxy to find his other holocrons and artifacts as he taught you everything he knew, and to the best of his ability.

He was kinder than any sith you had ever heard of or met, and he taught you a lot about the sith empire and how not all sith had been power hungry madmen, that before the rule of two, they had been more on the stable side, to a certain extent.

He never claimed they were good people, but you didn’t need that, you appreciated his honesty. Along these journeys, you even found holocrons of some of the other sith of his like, like Malak, who was Revans old friend.

Malak hadn’t been happy about you in the beginning, but he had ended up begrudgingly taking some kind of master role to you, almost like a standoffish uncle. But thanks to their training you are able to stay completely hidden from the empire, and live the life you want to live.

You go where the force leads you, which just so happens to be places that Revan and other great sith of made themselves at home in the past. You had almost started cheering and singing when you found what some would call the tomb of Darth Nihilus, much to your masters embarrassment, as Malak looked at Revan with a lifted brow.

Your interest in the past had been something you had picked up from your first master as a padawan, and it stayed. It was something Revan had to accept as his force ghost watched you fanboy over a mummified hand of Darth Sion, or leftover notes left over by Darth Malgus on saber forms.

Your greatest achievement was your helmet. Or rather, your master’s old helmet. Palpatine had pretty much ransacked the jedi temples after culling them all, stealing whatever he wanted, and the jedi had owned Revan’s helmet for many years, locked away far away from prying eyes.

With your master, and uncle-masters help, you were able to sneak in and steal it right back, taking it from right under Palpatine and Vader’s noses. The helmet barely looked like a helmet with how old and worn it was, but the power inside it made it clear. It was Revan’s helmet.

Revan had gifted it to you, almost beaming as you teared up at the trust he seemed to put in you. You were sith alright, and your emotions were what fueled you, and your love for your master and his love for you was the strongest there could be between family.

You were able to create a new helmet, using what was left of Revan’s and other materials, one of those materials being Beskar you stole from the empire. You even painted in similarly to Revan but added some of your own touches.

Little did you know, this helmet is what caught your future lovers attention first. Mandalorians love a strong partner, and those that follow the creed love some good armor, so Paz couldn’t keep his eyes off you when he saw you the first time.

You pretty much just bleed raw power into the air around you, letting it swirl around you like a second armor and letting everyone around know you were a possible threat if crossed. That was the kinda person that had Paz sweating and his blood pumping.

You would meet because you found yourself on the same planet as the covert hes with, hunting down something left by Canderous ordo, some piece of armor, like a pauldron he had left behind for Revan as some kind of marriage declaration.

Its after finding these pauldrons that you meet Paz, and some of the other older members of the covert. Apparently, words of a guy in scary black and red armor skulking around was enough to have them weary.

In the beginning they might think your Mandalorian, from the style of your armor and the new unpainted pauldrons you have added to your armor, making them hesitate, but that moment of hesitation if all you need to launch an attack.

You don’t kill any of them, wouldn’t want too, but by the force do you kick their ass, another thing that has Paz feeling hot under all that armor. He almost wants to drop to his knees to say the marriage vows right then and there when you fling him over your head using one hand, the other reflecting blaster bolts with little difficulty.

What can he say, mandalorians fall hard and they fall fast, blame it on living such dangerous and hard lives. So, when he sees you aren’t actually trying to kill them, Paz hopes there’s a chance you might stick around.

You end up getting away, ignoring the cackling of your master and the glowering of your uncle-master. The tables turn when Malak starts mentioning Ordo and the love declaration through the pauldrons, leaving your master quiet and mumbly as Malak smirks. They are definitely the reason you don’t fear the sith of old as much anymore.

Paz grieves a little as he doesn’t see you again for a while, even though he tries to keep an ear and eye out for you in your black and red armor and that flexibility that has him gripping the wall when he thinks about it too hard.

In the end its Ragnar, Paz’s son, that brings you before them again. He had ended up in some trouble, and the force had almost screamed for you to help him. Listening to the force was what you did, so you helped the helmet wearing kid out.

Ragnar was smart, and had heard his dads dreamy mumblings and the other mandalorians teasing, so he could immediately tell who you were. One way or another, and though it’s extremely against the rules, he gets you to where the covert is hiding.

Paz shows up and starts worrying about Ragnar, cuz he loves his son and doesn’t wanna see him hurt, and when he hears its you who saved him, he starts feeling hot under the armor again.

On the insistence of the force, you stick around the covert. Paz takes the time to go about romancing like mandalorians do, by peacocking and challenging you to spars. He never wins, not even the ones where you don’t use the force.

Its humorous to see that large hulking back being wrestled to the ground by you, or thrown around like he weighs nothing. You can tell how he feels about you, but you fear acting on it, even though Revan keeps bugging you to do so, much to Malaks annoyance.

In the end you two end up getting together like how many mandalorians do or did. During a fight. Things were getting tough, and a couple of your allies had gotten hurt, even Paz was down for the count.

You needed him up and at em though, so you had reached down and pulled him into a keldabe kiss, pressing your helmeted foreheads together and told him if he got out of this alive, you’d let him take you on a date.

That immediately had him standing, even though his leg wanted to buckle from a stab wound. The enemy were taken out in record time.

Your first date goes a little awkwardly, as neither of you actually have any experience dating. You spending all your life as a jedi and then sith, and Paz being part of a pretty hard covert. But you two work it out, and it ends with you sparring and scuffling in the sand, which maybe lead to something more. The helmets stay on the entire time.

No one is surprised when you two start dating, or when you start becoming a permanent fixture in the covert. Sure, they’re weary in the beginning because you are an outsider and because you are sith, but they come to appreciate you.

They really start welcoming you when you can use your dark presence in the force to hide them away from anyone searching for them, or to take out possible threats. You even start teaching some of the force sensitive members. You don’t force them to use the dark side, but you do end up teaching them about the balance between both.

When Din shows up again, he doesn’t fully know what to do with the information that Paz went and got himself hitched, and to a sith of all things, but he sees you well you fit into It all and their creed, and who is he to judge.

You get on well with Ragnar, as he was pretty much the one to bring you to his dad, and the kid grows attached to you. Who else but him can brag about his powerful dark sider warrior dad? That gets him some brownie points from the other foundlings.

When you and Paz marry there is no big ceremony, its just a vow spoken between you and that’s it. You always find yourself cackling at the memory of how jittery he had been to see your face for the first time, now that you were married.

During all this time you hadn’t been against taking your helmet off, but you just hadn’t had a reason too.

Paz spends a lot of time just holding your face in his hands and taking you in, with you doing the same to him. Expect many kisses from then on, every time you are alone. He is really bad at kissing in the beginning, since he has zero experience, but he makes up for it with his enthusiasm and willingness to learn.

Paz is still stoic around others and is a big presence, taking care of the dirty work and keeping people safe. But with you he gets to be soft, he gets to be weaker for once, which only fuels his feelings for you.

He never makes you feel like a monster for using the dark side, and he had marveled and just stared at your glowing yellow eyes for a long time the first time he had seem them, barely believing it was possible for them to look like that, just because of the force.

You are still a sith after all of this, and you still leave now and then to hunt down artificacts and other types of knowledge left by the sith of old, but you don’t feel as much urgency as in the past.

You even bring Paz and Ragnar along for the less dangerous ones, as a family trip. You can’t bring them along for most artifacts though, since you don’t wanna lose them to ancient sith traps or mind tricks.

It’s the stability you’ve needed for many years, and though you are still fueled by passion and emotions, it isn’t the same anger that you had harbored all these years. It was more the love you had for your husband and your son, and the fact that you would tear apart the galaxy for them if they asked.

The feelings are returned from Paz of course, and Ragnar too, as you guys’ care about each other deeply, as any family should. They do get a bit freaked out, even years later, when you tell them about force ghosts and how Revan is always present. Sometimes you say it just to see them subtly looking around, it’s hilarious.

[seastarblue]

Character Intro: Mehri Al-Adwan

“We’ve only got so much time in life, ya know? Live a little!”

Basic:

Pronouns: she/they

Species: Human

Age: 24

MBTI: idk

Voice Claim: idk

Physical:

6’2”

Build: Muscular, a bit chubby

Skin: Medium brown, many small scars

Hair: Dark brown, very curly, mid back length, sometimes held back with a scarf or bandana

Eyes: Light brown

Special Features: Very warm due to fire magic, very Cuddlytm

Personality:

Mehri is really friendly and outgoing. She's been described as always having a smile on their face and is genuinely a very sweet person. She does taunt their friends a LOT, but she does mean well.

Speaking Style: Mehri is always smiling, and this is apparent in their speech. She sometimes slip into different languages when she talks quickly, and it confuses some people.

Likes: fire, adventure/exploration, causing chaos (intentionally or not), looking at the stars, cooking, helping people, learning new things, honesty, kindness, spicy foods

Dislikes: snow/cold weather (doesn’t get “cold” per se but she thinks snow sucks anyways), people who pretend to know everything, people who assume she’s naïve or stupid (she’s not fr), overheating from magic overuse, people who abuse their power, pineapple (burns their tongue)

Main Goal: “Haha… I just want to see the world! And also not get caught by those guys…”

Picrew refs: *coming soon!*

Backstory (under the cut):

Mehri Al-Adwan was born in Qultaar, to people she has never met. She was left at a small monastery near the desert, who took them in and taught them everything she knows now. Mehri played, prayed, trained with, and truly loved the people there, but she still felt a longing to... go somewhere. Anywhere, really. Life was getting repetitive, and Mehri wanted to see things beyond their desert home.

And so she did. She wandered across the whole continent, meeting people from different cultures, lands, and walks of life. She learned so much about the world, and even more about themself. For example, Mehri found out she was allergic to shellfish when she almost died after eating one in Reito (lmao).

Nowadays, Mehri is still wandering the place, and she occasionally takes messenger jobs to earn some cash. She’s gotta watch their back though, as someone—or rather, a group of someones—are looking for them.

[mdhwrites]

I'd like your authorial thoughts on the following:

Given Luz' and Amity's interactions across season 1 of The Owl House could Luz be considered to have been Amity's Manic Pixie Dream Girl? If so, how do you see that trope evolving (or devolving) over the remainder of the series?

So I have a romance writing lesson I'm going to hijack this ask for but first to answer it: Probably? I feel like one could complain a lot of good romance stories use a character like this so I don't know how useful it is as a label. Not only that but a common complaint I have about Lumity is how Luz doesn't actually try to do jack shit to push back on Amity or actually question her on her shitty behavior. Like sure, we know she doesn't like Amity being mean but at best we get a single confrontation about that that Amity doesn't take seriously. It's never a problem actually addressed and Luz never tries to evoke any other life lessons out of Amity. It's why Amity feels like most of her changes just happen because "Girl pretty" because little actually pushes her to change except the mere existence of Luz.

HOWEVER

This stops HARD come S2. Even by Winging it Like Witches, we see Amity going out of her way to manage Luz's emotions and fuck ups. Where she has to be constantly accomodating because otherwise Sad Luz is a thought she just cannot fathom, even when in shit like Looking Glass Ruins, Luz seems to think an apology is enough, or how she won't change by Reaching Out about actually caring about Amity's well being (such as not noticing her girlfriend getting hurt) but also now with her breaking her word and continuing to lie to her, both things that will also come up in Thanks to Them where she's willing to lie to Amity for months before sending her to her death on the Isles without her.

This begs a bigger question: What of these two that attracted them to each other originally is still there?

We know pretty easily why Amity likes Luz. Explicitly she thinks Luz is kind, pretty, earnest, stuff like that. If we want to read into her character in S1, since it's pretty clear Amity is already crushing by Adventure in the Elements and probably started getting her feelings in Lost in Language, it's because Luz is honest with her, open and free in ways that Amity wishes she could be or wishes her family was with her. It's classic opposites attract. It also helps that early on in the show, her family seems to have transactional love while Luz seems to not require people to prove their worth to her. With Luz, she knows she's always got her heart in the right place, will make up for what she's done and Amity doesn't have to fear what Luz is thinking because if she were to ask Luz, Luz would tell her. Hell, that last part is literally what Eclipse Lake is about. Luz's openness and honesty.

Aaaaand then S2B starts with Luz keeping secrets and lying to Amity. She also steadily becomes less of a weirdo, over the entire show honestly, and more just this troublemaker who seems to mostly do things just for herself. Who can easily be manipulated through the fact that she's selfish, such as with Philip and with Eda's mother. She very easily starts ignoring other's problems because of her own, like in Reaching Out, even as she'll claim she's focusing on you but all of her actions are the exact opposite. This is how we get "I don't want to distract you," while she is willing to distract Emira while healing Amity or joins the tournament because she finds Amity being in underground witch fights that could potentially severely injure her, on a day when Luz is thinking about death and loss, as BORING. Also, instead of Amity not having to ever prove herself to Luz, to not have to worry if Luz is going to stop trusting and believing her, Luz CONSTANTLY isn't trusting or believing of Amity and so Amity keeps having to try harder and harder to make Luz happy. To manage her emotions when, you know... That is kind of the exact opposite of why Amity was probably attracted to Luz. Did she understand she'd have to save Luz from herself? Sure but not because Luz would literally lie to everyone and shirk responsibility. She expected it to be because she accepted jumping Dead Man's Gorge so one of her reading kids would stop being picked on.

So yeah, why does Amity still like Luz? I genuinely expected them to break up in Reaching Out because of this. Because Luz showed that when she's miserable, she is NOTHING like what Amity saw her as and trauma and pain is not an excuse to be a terrible person. I would have still liked them to get back together but like... Otherwise, the show ends up saying that it's okay to lie to your partner so long as you have an excuse. That is abhorrent.

(Smart, Cool, Classy)

But on the flip side of things, what about Luz? Well, we get less overt declarations from Luz than we get from Amity. By what is stated... Well, "Cotton Candy Haired Goddess" and "You're smart, classy and cool," are really all we get and that's from Knock Knock Knocking. Smart is good, cool is fine, classy is okay too but they're very vague and the one emphasized, especially over and over, is how pretty and popular Amity is. Even back in Adventure in the Elements, where the show seems to want to be when they both catch feelings proper but Luz is a dense brick, those are the traits she focuses on. How strong, cool, pretty and popular Amity is. Luz's focus seems to commonly be on very superficial elements of Amity and with her misconceptions of Amity as the series goes on, it's easy to assume these never change.

If we try to go into Luz's character though like I did with Amity though, it gets WORSE. Luz is supposedly someone who fears rejection and has been bullied in the past. However, she seems to have zero fears about Amity as a bully or her being cruel to her. Admittedly, we do get two in character reasons for this: One is from Lost in Language where she admits to wanting to befriend Amity as a fiction trope, which is GOD AWFUL... But somehow the next one is worse? In The First Day, she isn't talking about Amity but she talks about hoping to find a 'vulnerable upperclassman' like one talks about a romantic partner. As such, Amity's damage is not something to help her with but something that continues to check boxes for Luz.

BUT.

If we are kinder, she likes Amity because of opposites attract. Amity is more serious, in control and smart than Luz. She has confidence that Luz doesn't think she has (examples nonexistent of course with how little Luz gives a shit about anyone's opinion) and a grace to her the clumsy nerd does not. So if we go off of those, does Amity lose those?

Yes. In S3A she seems to not be able to control her two left feet. She shows herself to be a complete disaster much of the time. In Escaping Expulsion, she's called out for letting her grades slip and Amity just loses all of her edge and real personality. She'll still continue to do things, to have things grafted onto her but her priorities are always Luz and not any of the drive or the like that might have attracted Luz to her in the first place. This is how Reaching Out ends with Amity caring WAY MORE about Luz's actions and the like than anything her father does and with her really just wanting the right to tell her father fuck you than actually wanting to properly repair their relationship like she claims. The goal is Luz. Always.

"But Luz could see who Amity actually was and was attracted to that!"

I have heard this sort of argument too many times not to talk about it. Let's pretend that's actually the case. That Luz was attracted to a possibility, rather than the person in front of her. That "I can fix her," is a good and healthy mentality. Okay, what is the 'real' Amity then? Well, she's nice, kind of awkward but can then step up to be a badass when she has to be.

I also just described Willow and Luz is not attracted to Willow. She literally never shows attraction to anyone like that. We actually do get an idea for what her type is after all. Her first blush is with a tortured, brooding dickhead in the second episode. She blushes at the twins who are teasing and rowdy. She likes trouble. She does not get attracted to Viney or Willow though despite both having very similar personalities to what Amity will eventually have. So why does she choose Amity?

Because she's the most conventionally attractive. That appears to really be it. It's the only thing that A: Amity doesn't discard of herself and B: that Luz seems to care about that actually stays true to the character over time. And don't tell me that Amity got smart in other ways. She is not a tactician and her strategies are always the bluntest. To reference Escaping Expulsion again, she is the one who posits going for a full frontal assault. Hell, in Falls and Follies, she's making mistakes in her Spanish studies. We don't see much real intelligence from her after S1. S3 made sure she has no class and Knock Knock Knocking explicitly points out that Amity is not as cool as Luz thinks she is.

Why does this matter though? Well... Because chemistry matters in a romance? Because in fiction, we should be able to understand what in the world attracts these two people to each other? Going, "It's love, they don't have to explain it," is the exact same problem as "It's magic, I don't have to explain it." It's purely relying on suspension of disbelief and believing that just because something doesn't have to have an airtight explanation doesn't mean it doesn't have to still follow the rules or examples you have set. People HATE when magic suddenly does whatever the author needs it to just as much as they hate when someone goes "I love you" in a movie after two hours of not seeing a single reason these two would get together.

As such, if in your romance story you have the character development of your characters remove everything they found attractive about each other... Why are they still together? Not even just because that's a thing in the real world but just in the fiction. There's no reason for them not to just be friends now so why are they still saying "I love you," if they even want to be friends still? It makes the conclusion of your work not scan and so your romance falls apart.

And I mean... Clouds on the Horizon even explicitly makes this clear. In that episode, Amity uses Luz as a way to calm herself. Uses how she'd tackle things, her care and the trust she has in Luz to make her not worry about being trapped at home. But is that accurate to Luz? To Luz, who in that episode decided NOT to go save Amity because she wanted to small chance that she might be needed for the bigger plan in motion instead? Despite having no role there and potentially making their stealth mission harder? Or who goes on to not engage at all with Amity's family drama, even as Odalia threatens to force to break them up? Where is the care that Amity was drawing strength from? The silliness that attracted her to Luz? ANYTHING that was there all the way back when that pushed Amity to kiss Luz in that episode?

Because as far as I'm concerned, Amity's Manic Pixie Dream Girl didn't just become a real person. She turned to sludge and why would Amity want to date sludge? See you next tale.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[onlyoneofyongsoo]

Why BUB actually fits into OOO's catalogue

Bump Up Business has been criticised for many things, and don’t get me wrong, it’s far from perfect, but there is one question I have heard a lot: “Why did OnlyOneOf of all people choose to do this? Doesn’t this show play exactly into the thing we have been defending them of?”

My own answer to this is yes and no. But let me explain. 

In this I will not be discussing what the writers had in mind, because I don’t know them. But I’ll talk about why I think it makes sense OnlyOneOf would tell this kind of story, whether they actually had any say in choosing this drama or not.

The main argument for most peoples' criticism I’ve seen is “This show is about/glorifying queerbaiting.” But is it really? Both of the characters are already queer. Jihoon has dated at least one man and is very aware of his own sexuality. Eden is quickly established as being very insecure in his own sexuality, not because he’s straight, but because he’s queer and finds that hard to accept. So the show is about queer characters. 

Okay, so how does the queerbaiting fall into this? Obviously there is queerbaiting present. Their company practically forces them to do it. Eden is very reluctant, but agrees after the company gives him an ultimatum. Jihoon is less reluctant, but also in a tight spot. He has fallen off and this is seemingly his last chance to save his career, something he wouldn’t give up even for the man he loved. So the characters take no pleasure in the queerbaiting, but is it a problem to them? Yes, actually. It is made clear that they have trouble telling apart what is real feelings and what’s just work. In episode 4 for example Jihoon asks Eden if he is struggling with their concept after Eden revealed how insecure he is in his sexuality. The question comes from a place of caring and honesty. Eden then answers that he is okay because it’s "just work". Since emotions and their hidden identities are now part of their work it gets all muddled and confusing for them. 

You might say now “But that’s not the problem with queerbaiting! They’re leading their fans on!” And from a fan’s perspective I agree. They are leading them on. But this isn’t about fans, this show is about idols. What would it be like for a queer idol to work in an industry where you are urged to act queer but to never be queer? How would that affect your personal life?

In the drama the queer characters hide their identity. Even after Hyunbin spread these awful rumours about Jihoon, they don’t reveal their relationship. Evidently having rumours about being with women is still better than revealing that you’re gay. The entire time they keep any real relationships under wraps. 

On top of that, in a way Eden has to out himself for his job. Even though he of course isn’t allowed to be actually queer, acting this lovey-dovey with another man in public sure must feel like he’s coming out and he is clearly uncomfortable with that. Interviewers and netizens are constantly questioning their relationship as well. Are they gay? Are they straight? Do they naturally act that way? Is the company forcing them? Having all your actions be scrutinised and dissected like this, especially as a closeted queer person is terrifying. 

Once again I’m not claiming that the writers wanted to represent queer idols’ struggles, but I think you can understand how this might be able to be read that way, especially by idols themselves. 

Now how does this fit in with OnlyOneOf’s usual work, besides the obvious queer element? For that I’d like to remind you of June 2022. That is the month we started off the undergrOund idOl project. If you’re like me, then that name probably made you question it. What does it mean? I remember theories about it being about struggling as a relatively unknown group and things along those lines. Luckily they gave us hints in several articles by letting us know that the series is about “the inner side of idols who shine on stage”. Okay, cool! So is it about struggles with fame? Like a glimpse behind the mask? Let’s look at the videos! Hm… Not much about idol life here actually… They’re all just.. queer? How curious. Almost as if they want to highlight the queerness so many idols or celebrities have to hide?

So OnlyOneOf, a group whose behaviours and sexualities are constantly being dissected and who is famous for telling and highlighting genuine queer stories, even connecting those stories to what idols have to hide, choose a drama that is about queer idols who have to navigate their queerness in an industry that demands “fake queerness” but has no room for real queer people. This doesn’t actually seem that surprising to me. Does it to you?

Last comments:

I don’t think that BUB is a critical masterpiece tastefully portraying the harsh reality of queer celebrities. I think that the producers and writers did not do a good job and that OnlyOneOf’s own work is a lot better. But I can absolutely see how this story fits into the larger picture and why this could be appealing to them. I don’t know if they even had any say in doing the drama to begin with. But I just wanted to provide a different point of view. Maybe someone found this interesting at least <3

[allieslobster]

UNPOPULAR OPINION: Mike isn’t as bad at communicating as people claim him to be.

(This is copy and pasted from what I wrote on Reddit and I wanted to share it here, it’s super long btw)

NOW I KNOW IT’S A BIT CRAZY!!! But in all honesty, I think he isn’t the BEST at communicating but bro definitely isn’t the WORST, either. I don’t know, watching season one and two and even season four kind of make me be like “oh it’s really not that bad.” The only season where he was really bad to be in his communication was season three. I’ll go more into him in each season.

Season one: I think Mike was actually very expressive this season, probably the best his communication skills have been. When Will first went missing, we could really see his frustration because no one else really seemed to care as much as he did, and he verbally expressed that. “I’m the only one who cares about Will!” He got the point across and expressed what he was feeling, he made it known to the party that he wasn’t giving up, and then he allowed himself to cry to his mom when he thought Will’s body was found.

Season two: Season two Mike was very similar to season one Mike, he always made an effort to contribute to the conversation on how to help Will. The only time he really lacked cohesion in his skills was when Max was introduced, and the mention of El was brought up. Of course, I have to mention the shed scene where he literally saved Will, confessing how the day they met was the best day of his life and he truly meant it. He didn’t have any problem communicating that? He wasn’t shy expressing that in front of Joyce, Jonathan, or Hopper. He was emotional and expressed his frustration and sadness by hitting Hopper when he found out he was hiding El all this time. So, where does it all go wrong? Where does this stigma around his character come into play? WELL…

Season three: yikes. Season three Mike may just be the worst yet. Don’t worry, as someone who relates to Mike I’m not gonna shit on it. So, yeah…where did it go wrong? Mike is changing. He’s growing up, his relationship his growing up with him. This is the season where his expression begins to diminish, we can literally just see this husk of who he used to be. I think this season was a depressing arch for Mike. I believe this is the season people labeled Mike as like, the boy who can’t communicate. Which makes so much sense, he’s lying to the people he loves, yelling at them, ignoring them in a way that’s just kind of cruel. I think it’s interesting, the shift in him between season three to season four but I’ll get into that later. The way he speaks to Will is nothing like before. When we’re angry, we usually say things that we don’t mean. Projection. “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls!” Well! There was such a dark way in which he said it, like what was the need? The need was for him to get it off his OWN chest. It really had everything to do with himself, as well as Will. He’s never been so harsh to his best friend before, the boy who he used to comfort. The way he communicated his feelings was unhealthy, and harsh unlike the way he expressed them before. Anytime Mike had an outburst in past seasons, it was out of passion. (His family not caring for Will and him defending Will, Hopper lying to him, bullies picking on him) it was never out of angry, it was usually out of protectiveness. Then we get to the lying, him not caring to apologize to El or go after her in the same way he does to Will. Back to the communication, he hugs his mom at the end of the season but he almost looks numb, like he’s given up. There’s a reason for that.

Season four: I don’t really care what anyone says I will forever defend season four mike. He seems a little lost at the beginning and that’s because he is. He’s gone a year without his girlfriend, without his best friend. He’s had a lot of time to grow and reflect on who he is and we can slowly see him finding himself once again. He’s back into D&D (which he left behind in season three) and he’s come to the realization that he really doesn’t care if he’s popular in school, probably preferring to stay under the radar. We see our first communication problem at the airport, “from, mike.” We all know “from” is the devil’s word in El’s eyes. As well as that half assed hug he granted Will. It could be out of frustration from Will not contacting as much as he liked, or the fact that he was trying to hide something from himself that a passionate hug would only bring out. I’m not sure, either way both of those are rooted in strong feelings towards Will. Mike and El argue, he refuses to tell her he loves her. And while this can be chopped up to, “he has communication issues and is scared of rejection” okay let’s be so for real. Mike and Eleven have been together for over a year, El has verbally gave him that confirmation, so what’s missing? Mike is so action oriented, he needs to feel needed. El does not do that for him, I mean some people really just show their love through actions. Mike is not scared of communicating, putting himself out there. He has done it countless of times with Will. During this season, we see him go OUT of his way to apologize, telling him how much he missed him and how things have been so different without him. I don’t understand why he couldn’t have done that for El when she clearly needed it. Will grants Mike that security, I mean yeah in retrospect he’s scared of rejection but at the same time I don’t think it’s that simple. I don’t think he’s scared of rejection, I think he’s scared of coming to terms with the fact that he may just be lying to Eleven. Mike is not himself with her, he neglects his friends, dresses out of the ordinary, blames her. It’s as if it all circles back to Will, the difference in treatment and I think that will play a part in season five. I think that mike and el will realize that of course they love each other, but can’t be what they need.

Mike works on action, he SHOWS his love. He’s given her gifts, he’s been attentive to her when she’s struggling and at least tries to express how much he CARES for her. Eleven needs more, she needs an expressive person. Him not being verbally expressive with her does not mean he’s bad at communication. We all aren’t perfect, so saying he’s bad at communicating I don’t think is very fair. He just expresses his love in a way that I don’t think Eleven wants. And that’s okay. I truly don’t think he’s putting his all into the relationship, anyways. In his own words: “I kind of did like a sort of 70-30 split thing.” He gives more to Will, and I know it’s really unfair to Eleven but I don’t think Mike is doing it intentionally. Just when we’re attracted to someone, in love with them, it’s so easy to unknowingly treat them with a higher regard intentionally or not.

I really do think season three he was attempting his best to be as “normal” as possible, leading to his emotions to bottle up in a way they never did before. Season four, with time away from Will and Eleven, he begins to settle into himself just a little bit more and that leads to his willingness to rekindle with Will when they have some alone time. He communicates with Will, telling him he will be there for him no matter what despite the struggle. I think people often confuse his unintentional refusal to be completely open with himself and Eleven in their own relationship as him just not being able to communicate at all. I hope all of this made sense, i probably rambled way more than I should have…

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not wanting to interact with my mom all that often?

for context, my mom tends to act in ways that are often a little manipulative and dependent - she's had a rough life, so i can understand some of her actions, but in some ways she scares me a bit. when i was growing up, she'd often talk about how she wished i was the grownup and she was my daughter, sometimes asking to roleplay a bit. she's trauma-dumped quite a bit on me as well, leading me to play therapist. (when i brought up actually therapy once, she said, word for word, "why have a therapist when I have you?") in more recent years, she's asked for us to sleep in the same bed, and sometimes continues to ask even though i give her a hard no because it makes me uncomfortable.

in all honesty, she's not a bad person, and she's worked really hard for my sake, but she also doesn't have a lot of meaningful connections - her friends are more work colleagues and she's not close to my dad at all. and I'm honestly not the nicest to her - i really don't like to talk her, which I've made clear in a pretty harsh way, and we get into arguments a lot. but she also tends to be petty and immature; whenever i say im not in the mood to talk to her, she claims that i dont really care about her and that i have to listen to her because she's my mom. whenever i try to raise a concern i have with her, she often spins it in a way that makes her the victim and me the disobient child, and when she doesn't, she just doesn't listen.

there's also the whole ordeal where she kind of outed me to my (Very queerphobic) dad - i was able deny enough that the whole thing calmed down, but she never really tried to understand why she was wrong. she never really made an attempt to understand how much trust i put in her when i came out - about two years after, i 'took it back', in a way, telling her that she didnt have to use they/them at all. at that point she revealed that she thought it was some kind of phase that she never took seriously. it was like this in the past, too - she still pesters me about what i said when i was 9 and styling myself as a 'tomboy' - which was 'coming back to her when i was a teenager' which i never really did.

the gist of it is that she views me in a idealistic way that centers mostly around herself and her ideals for me - she doesn't let me cut my hair too short and always pesters about wearing dresses, and she still thinks that i can act as her therapist despite me telling her, multiple times, that i was not equipped to handle her problems. but i always feel really guilty whenever i end up rejecting her, since she doesnt have many people to turn to. AITA for constantly rejecting interaction with her?

What are these acronyms?

[eletricheart]

The Best Day

(Donna Beneviento x Reader)

*image creds to owner

Word count: 794

I thought of this story while listening to The Best Day and Mastermind by Taylor Swift.

It's on how even though you didn't have any friends in your town it was still possible to find someone who you'd have your best days with.

ps: songs are at the end

ps2: not proofread, pls lmk any mistakes

----------------------------------------------------

No one wanted to play with you as a little kid, so you started to plan every interaction to make others love you. It worked for a while, but as much as you had them during school, you were still never past colleagues.

This situation stretched all the way to adulthood. You were alone, not always lonely, but still just you.

As a result of being ignored for a big part of your life, you knew most of the forest since it was your special hideout.

The day was a difficult one, you had invited your neighbors for a small night out and they claimed to be busy. You believed them, until seeing the group together at a tavern.

So you walked, and walked, past the known paths, just ahead. You only took notice of your surroundings once reaching a small grave. At first you thought of running, after all there were many stories of House Beneviento, but you stayed…and talked.

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

It started simple, a short one sided conversation. Then, as the week passed by you made more visits, always paying your respects and talking.

You've always noticed the dolls, especially when more started to show. They didn't move, just remained scattered and sitted, as if listening.

You got used to it, slowly forgetting the neighbors and finally stopping to care for the villagers. Instead, you focused all of your energy in little gifts for the dolls that were keeping you company.

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

Angie introduced herself first, jumping in your head as you walked towards the simple clearing. In all honesty, you were frightened for the next few days, but eventually started to love the doll, even learning how to sew to make dresses for her.

Lady Angie, as you call her, was the one who led you to the house. It took a month and a lot of convincing but nothing a tea party couldn't solve.

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

Donna usually just observed you from afar, making sure no lycans bothered your walk. Her interference started to follow you into the village, the dollmaker would claim she was just ensuring your safety.

She would notice how most people wouldn't talk to you, not even in greetings. This dismissal made her mad, how could they ignore you, you were always so kind, so cheerful, it didn't make any sense.

So, Donna decided to greet you. It began with a nod until it slowly turned into shy 'hello'.

Once the first words were spoken, the lady felt more comfortable staying around you. She would laugh at your jokes, go on short walks with you, anything you offered the dollmaker would accept with an excited nod. 

You, of course, felt the greatest pride when she laughed, even making mental notes to find jokes in similar themes. During the walks you constantly tried to read Donna's body language, memorizing which paths she enjoyed. 

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

Your first conversation was on a rainy saturday. The village was having a party to celebrate the healthy harvest. You rarely attended, finding no joy in spending the night alone in public.

However, this time, you visited Donna. It wasn't an usual visit day but you figured she wouldn't mind, Angie always seemed so insistent in trying to make you stay anyway.

The dollmaker was confused with your arrival, but happy nonetheless. She rushed to make some tea and leave her dolls presentable for you.

It was a few hours into your visit, you were both sitting on the couch watching the rain.

Donna was a bit anxious, she didn't want to ruin your night with her questions, but she was so curious. "Why…why did you come?" She asked, with her head down.

You turned your head to look at her. "I guess I didn't want to be alone." You shrugged, afraid she found you annoying.

The dollmaker took a deep breath. "Why me?" She asked again, fidgeting with her fingers.

You smiled kindly. "My best days are with you, I couldn't possibly choose anyone else."

She nodded, slowly. "I'm…happy with you around." 

Your smile grew wider. "I'm happy with you too, and Angie of course."

Donna laughed and laid her head on your shoulder.

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

Your visits became more recurring, the walks were now made with holding hands, the jokes were now followed with a counter one, even Angie joined into plan making, tho her daily schedules involved more hide and seek than you've played in your entire life.

Donna asked you to live with her a few days later…well…she didn't exactly ask. Angie screamed at you when it was time to leave and threatened to lock you in her room. Therefore, the dollmaker had to interfere and ask you more calmly if you wished to stay with her.

And you said yes.

----------------------------------------------------

masterlist

[sharpsuite]

she doesn't go all out, even though she wants to. doesn't invite dozens of people or throws a huge party where you can't come in if you didn't bring an extravagant gift, even though she thinks he deserves it. but she refuses to do nothing and just let the day go by. she has books as a gift, all wrapped together in colorful paper; a mixture of fiction and non-fiction, some of which with titles she frankly didn't understand but thought they sounded smart enough for him. but at the end of the day, a cake had felt like the best place to start. she reaches for the lighter in her pocket so she can light up the candle. " you gotta make a wish. "

↳ HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHISHIYA!

Chishiya really HADN'T expected to escape Pat's determination to celebrate his birthday no matter what he might claim. When she was determined to do something, there was very little that could truly dissuade or stop her. He just wasn't sure WHAT he should be expecting. Such things are DIFFICULT when you've never celebrated a birthday before ; movies and shows are hardly a good reference and his family has never celebrated them. Not beyond something the hospital staff did for them and then it was only indulged for the sake of others and image. Nothing at home, nothing private. So how should he know what to expect? Other than Pat loves to go big and EXTRAVAGENT. The lack of people in Chishiya's life might be a blessing in the way it would inherently limit possibilities. Probably. Maybe.

Surprisingly, a LOT of the day seems to pass just like any other day. It soothes a bit of the prickling unease in his chest that had occasionally flitted about the rafters of his chest like sparrows in the rafters of malls. Predictably, he doesn't get a text or call from either parent, but that's fine. He'd be more concerned if he DID. It's just a normal day.

Until he finds himself staring at a cake in front of him, and then turning to look towards Pat. " A wish? " He seems genuinely surprised about that particular NOTE on what he should do as she lights the candle. HE'S NEVER MADE A WISH BEFORE. Never wrote to Santa or wished on a shooting star, never at the 11:11, never wrote on an ema to hang at one of the shrines. It all seems rather silly and nonsensical. He stares at the candle as she lights it and struggles to think of something. It's funny, really. He feels more pressure NOW than any other time. He gives a small shake of his head but there's a tiny smile on his lips before he blows out the candle before hot wax can drip all over the cake that smells delicious.

Points to Pat, she certainly had been taking notes on his preferences because he doesn't remember explicitly telling her his favorite flavor but it is.

His body language gives it away even before he can say anything after the first bite of his slice of cake. There's a bit more brightness in his eyes and he savors it - which he doesn't tend to usually do with food. " This tastes amazing. " He smiles, delighted to take a second bite when he pauses. His throat bobs as he stares at her for a moment.

" Thank you. " The words comes out softer than his earlier statement but no less genuine. He's sure she probably has more to the celebrations, at least a gift of some sort (which he certainly will be pleased with the books ), but that's not his focus. He knows this isn't how SHE would want to spend hers. It had probably been akin to a particularly difficult task to keep the celebrations rather toned down. It's THAT which hits him the most out of everything she's done for today. She hasn't made the day into her vision. It had still been focus on him in its subtle kind of way. And maybe his reply was only two words but they were so genuine that Chishiya feels exposed and open for the honesty that he offers - different than deathbed (deathroad?) confessions and other talks. He's not sure HOW exactly, but it feels different.

It doesn't feel bad.

He diverts his attention towards and take a second bite of his cake with another little smile. Finally, an admission. " Okay, okay. MAYBE celebrating isn't so bad. " He rolls his eyes but it's done only in a lighthearted manner as he glances back to her face. " Now start eating or I might steal your slice too. " Even if there was a whole cake. Everyone knows stealing food from someone else makes it more delicious. / @cartelheir

[liseytopia]

HEY BB

been a while

kinda interested to hear your idea of gabbi meeting reader for the first time and maybe how they started dating 🫢🫢

LONG TIME NO TALK!! ofc, im out of a writing slump so im tryna finish all my requests nd do sum more stuff :3

crush headcanons .ᐟ

pairing: gabbi broussard x fem!reader

contents: high school sweethearts, mostly just fluff, in headcanon form

warnings: this is pretty short, but i'm working on something else 4 u bae so dw!!! :3

an: bring the do revenge era back i miss that shit

⟢ when you were new to rosehill, a transfer student, you had nobody. not many people gravitated to you at all, but she did.

꩜ it was your first class of the day, biology, and she had it with you. that was when she knew she had to take the opportunity and try to get closer to you.

⟢ it was everything about you that she loved. your hair, your smile, your fashion, the way your eyes lit up when you noticed she was staring at you.

꩜ once the bio partner project was announced, before you even got the chance to look around for someone to group yourself with, she was by your side claiming herself as your partner.

⟢ you worked together pretty nicely, and obviously you had no idea about her intentions, so when she asked for your number to 'meet up and work on the project outside of school hours', you agreed without a second thought.

꩜ hangouts were always fun. your parents loved her and vice versa. you would be coming home from school every day with her glued to your side.

⟢ the two of you would talk for hours on end, you found out she liked a lot of the same music as you did, so you made playlists together and listened to them during said talks.

꩜ eventually you became close, and even as you made new friends, you would always find yourself drifting back to her. she was like your guiding star.

⟢ and as goes for gabbi, she constantly talked to her brother and friends about you. she was sure that they were sick of her after the first week that it started.

꩜ she would text you constantly, and through your obliviousness, she would flirt through those texts as well. she would type up random messages at midnight that quote "i miss u :(" for no reason other than the fact she was down bad for you.

⟢ in all honesty, she believes you're the best thing that's ever happened to her. she lays awake at night wondering how she got so lucky for you to accept her into your life.

꩜ gabbi wasn't shy when she told you she liked you. at that point, you already knew her well enough to where it wasn't awkward. she was over the moon, at the least, when you expressed her feelings for you back.

⟢ it was nothing huge when it happened, and you didn't want it to be. it was simply you and her in her bedroom, of which was adorned with posters on the walls and your shared playlist on her speaker in the background, when she kissed you. it was gentle and soft, testing the waters, but still conveyed the passion she felt for you. and you returned it back just as lovingly.

꩜ for some following days afterwards, you would open your locker in the morning to find small trinkets and gifts from her with a little letter signed by herself. it always made you smile, which is what she aimed for.

⟢ all gabbi wants is for you to be happy, and seeing you so cheerful by her side is all she needs for the rest of her life. <3

if u enjoyed, please feel free to like, reblog or leave a comment! only kind comments and actual constructive criticism will be tolerated <3

check out my masterlist for more! :3

© liseytopia 2024 : do not copy, translate, or steal my work.

[wondercourse]

Long aimless rambling anecdote time because the local voidthing is thinking again uh oh.

Honestly whenever someone who does things like post to cringe subreddits say they're doing it because they care about pwCDDs and education and whatever, I just think about the psychoeducation piece of my treatment and the fact that none of it came with this weird fakeclaiming thing. It was never presented as "Here's the information :) If you don't match it exactly it's a moral failing because you make people with DID look bad". Because that's weird. That's a weird and shitty thing to do to a community you claim to care about.

She has also...never made a big deal about the split that caused me to like. Be Wonder. Came with a lot of fictional introjects. Nor did she make a big fuss about the amount of parts that year-long bullshit I went through caused to split off, introjection or no. She does want to make sure we remain open to each other's existences, but she just treats those fictives like any other alter rather than as a reason my DID is somehow Wrong™.

And that aside, because DID Isn't Alters Disorder (remember?), she cares more about the year-long BS and its affects on us. On me as a whole. That includes the parts aspect, of course, but that isn't all it is.

What's crazy is that she shows that she cares for me and that she's pro-recovery by…helping me through my recovery. Making sure I'm informed. Helping me work through my phobia of the inner experience (which extends partially to other parts). Listening to my experiences REGARDLESS of what she thinks may be causing them rather than shaming me for being wrong about what could be causing them.

Before I was in therapy but after being wrong about a lot of things re: my DID that cringe subs eat eat UP, I did think things like FDC and SystemsCringe were helpful. I slingshotted to the other side. I wanted to crack down on any perceived "abnormality" in presentation because I hated myself for having been wrong.

But...I dunno. When you have an experience like moving between—

anti-endo (woefully misinformed) -> anti-endo (syscringe supporter who presented it as a Good Thing) -> not caring anymore and just trying to get through life. get this shit out of my face. -> "oh shit i might have endogenic parts. welp. gotta navigate that now" -> [starts to more concretely register that i went through nearly constant, inescapable, and very high stress for about a year] "...oh"

—you very quickly shift to minding your damn business.

So with all that, when I see people presenting posting people to cringe subreddits as somehow being a net positive for "real" (mostly arbitrary modifier yippee) CDD systems is like...weird. Because that exact kind of thing distorted my perception of myself so deeply that my therapist often has to be the person in real life going "hey, man, how's it going" because I've internalized so much stuff.

In all honesty, people who say that online spaces are the worst places to start when you have DID are right. Because both extremes exist and are extremely prominent, and both really fuck you up.

Cringe subs aren't doing shit for pwCDDs.

Send tumble.

[vorchagirl]

oc ask game

1, 8, 11, 18, 25

For the Ryder of your choice!

I'll answer these for Cerys! Thanks for the asks :)

1. Will your OC get married and with who? I think Cerys would have eventually married Reyes if Harry hadn't come onto the scene - she and Reyes are in love, they're extremely close, and he's very dedicated to her. Once Harry joins the relationship, they work hard to try and keep things equal so I can't see marriage happening, I can definitely see them having some kind of commitment ceremony with each other.

8. Greatest strength and greatest flaw about your OC? I think her greatest flaw and her greatest strength is the same thing - Cerys is very honest and a terrible liar. She isn't able to hide things from people, even when she really needs to. It gets her into a lot of messes, but her honesty is one of the things both men love about her.

11. What actor or voice actor do you see best playing as your OC? Cerys Ryder looks very similar to generic Sara Ryder from the game and I imagine her voice as Ryder in the game. In terms of a face claim, I think Alexandra Daddario would suit her perfectly.

18. What is your OC’s greatest fear? Honestly, it's probably losing Reyes. As much as she loves Harry and need him in her life, Reyes was there for her in a time when she needed stability and they have a deep connection. If something happened to him, I don't think even Harry could save her, or if did, she would lose a part of herself. Cerys has lost too many people in her life.

25. The name you chose for your OC, why did you chose it? Originally, I was just going to call her Sara Ryder, but I wanted something a little more meaningful so I put together a short list and asked a few people's opinion on the Mass Effect Fanfiction Writer Discord. Cerys means beloved, and she is loved by Harry and Reyes, so it seemed to fit. @ashenlavellan also liked it for the same reason I did, so I went with that name.

Thanks for the ask!