#a lot of her personality is gone too
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
the showrunners said that this season was mostly vi focused but we barely see scenes of her , her thoughts and feelings about anything and she is used mostly for either a) exposition or b) to develop other characters mainly jinx and caitlyn. i am confused
#the pit fight scene was there. for like two seconds#vi is one my favourite characters of all time and its sad to see how wasted she feels this season#she doesn't really do stuff she is not as hothead as she usually is#everything with the enforcer plot feels forced and its never really explored vi's inner feelings about this#she moves along with the plot instead of MOVING the plot#a lot of her personality is gone too#idk guys#vi akgaes what do you think?#vi#vi arcane#violet arcane#vi the piltover enforcer#arcane#arcane critical
110 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#fucks me up that there are two whole new animals in the house that i barely know#who depend on me for everything#barely recognize me as a friend or helper#and are so incredibly incredibly fragile#i got worried for junie today because her spay incision had some swelling#and it's normal to have some and i have seen it before#but after what we just wemt through i got upset and rushed her to the vet#who said it was fine and thankfully we have free office visits#but i was so upset even though i knew it was probably normal#i look at them and i see adorable cuddly sweet TEMPORARY things and i feel like something inside me got broken somehow#and i was right all along that after it was all over i would come back but not quite as myself#i just hadn't fully understood the extent#we are keeping them and it sort of had to happen when it did but i think it was too early for me#they are so cute and when they do cuddle it's so sweet and obviously i would fight for them as hard as i would for Fancy#because that's just how the deal works and it isn't about you at all it's about how they each carry a little world inside them just as we d#and that deserves equal respect and care regardless of my personal affections#but i look at them and i see little creatures that don't belong here and are foreign in some fundamental way#and that they will be gone in just a little while and things will go back to how they were#which is impossible#we will settle in and i doubt anything i am feeling is abnormal but I'm really struggling and i feel so bad about that#i don't know#it's just a lot to deal with#and i feel very lonely and sad about it#and under it all the sick feeling of having JUST held all three lads as they passed and the VISCERAL reality of it#and knowing one day if everything goes just right i will be holding them too#dear god life is so fragile and every living thing is just as mortal as any other
55 notes
·
View notes
Text
OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever
#jrwi fanart#cw blood#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#arthur bennett#OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob:#BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay#i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY.#THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL#so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM..#grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that#ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT#arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES#I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM.#I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no#ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE#BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much...#GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that#we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW#he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE..#i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar#I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS#also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that#human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY#i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK#feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh
144 notes
·
View notes
Text
Day ninety-five | id in alt
Long time no Nanami💥
#dailykugisaki#jjk#kugisaki nobara#nanami kento#i hate his fuckass tie but like anything for the cool man who cares bad#she likes the fit nanami has but she glares at the tie he has sometimes but it eventually grows onto her like a fucking parasite#also idk how yall sukuna likers do it idk how yall like this man because its so hard for me not to roll my eyes at anything he does#trust me im not biased i roll my eyes at Gojo and co too#i just idk. i feel like ive gone through somebody with a personality like sukunas before and i just want to push him into a black hole#buckets aggression is showing#anyway back to Kugisaki!#she exaggerates the image of nanami a lot but i feel like she'd respect the guy y'know#thats a whole apt teacher dawg#also Nobaras drink...she does like popular shit but i feel like her actual tastes lay with more like refreshing stuff if that makes sense#maybe it could be a little sour#idk she doesn't seem like the weirdo that drinks horrible sweet shit but she would put like an energy drink in that shit#she woll die before she's dehydrated and from experience#sweets dehydrate a bitch#hitting nanami with the melanin beam#i fucking giggled while writing the image description im fucking done for‼️#Kugisaki would fucking preen at praise from nanami because in her head nanami is probably a massive hardass#yes i like drawing hands
66 notes
·
View notes
Text
so obsessed with susato that i forgot that her saving holmes's life wasn't something i just made up in my head but implied by the game to have been What Actually Happened.
#mikotoba susato#she's so everything. literally who is doing it like her. fantastic phenomenal iconic brilliant amazing etc etc#tgaa spoilers#dgs#i've always thought that susato's perspective on the direct aftermath of the shooting would be extremely interesting to explore#largely in part due to her treatment of holmes's wound blending his past with mikotoba and his present with the girl he is actively#devastatingly lying to whom he now owes his life to. and all the complicated emotions that must arise from that for him and then for her#when she eventually learns the truth#but also in part due to how her reputation in gregson's (and barok's too potentially?) eyes must have been changed afterwards. they both#know her as the almost eternally composed judicial assistant and they respect her for that in spite of their prejudices but she now she's#gone and saved a man's life and i think that respect grows... deeper? more personal? as a result. and regardless of how poised and composed#susato is she must have been somewhat shaken by the events right? she was probably terrified. and being questioned right after she's#bloodied her hands and clothes cant have helped so i imagine they must have seen that too. seen her more as the person she is rather than#just the title she possesses.#which i think would be interesting to explore. lots of untapped potential here i need to go back and replay to see if there is a slight#change in how gregson and barok interact with her but i believe there was. there shouldve been even if there wasnt idc#she is the moment. no one will ever come close 😤✊
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
burn was done DIRTY in the show
#they made her so angry for no reason#other then fire person angry lol#I hate that trope😒#it’s getting boring#like she was so chill in the movie and she was genuinely such a nice and happy person who seemed excited for others sure she’s a bit forward#and it’s a bit creepy but other then that she’s really cool#if you can’t tell I love movie burn a lot#and show burn is my least favorite from the cartoon#I also hate how pink she is compared to her actually reddish pinkish scheme like everyone else I can’t ignore cause it’s not too bad but#burns is jsut ugly like ya could’ve gone with anything other then bubblegum pink#…..realizing that might’ve been on purpose now but nonetheless I just don’t like her#kinda how I don’t like Chet much in the show either cause the up his whine too much like he was literally the most mature in the movie#like he was a bit mean and an overreacter but that’s just because he was concerned for his and his brothers lives#he was just trying his best to provide for both of them and to make sure turbo is safe#and they make him so whiney and exaggerat his paranoia so much and I dunno I don’t like it#my stuffy stuff#turbo#turbo fast#text#criticism#idk I just prefer the movie over the show but I think the show has its own charm especially when you think of it as a separate canon from#the movie
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
I wonder if Abby even realizes that her penance for what she did to Joel was to BECOME Joel.
#she probably never understood what could bring a person to kill so many just to save one person#she didnt understand why her dad wouldnt want it to be her on that operating table#until Lev & Owen she didnt have that. she'd never felt that unconditional irrational love & protectiveness for anyone#by the time we see abby at the end of the game i think she understands. at least i hope she does#by the end nothing mattered to her except for protecting Lev#she didnt care that Ellie was there. she didnt care that Ellie wanted to fight/kill her. she just wanted to keep Lev safe#with Owen too#she didnt want to admit something was still there but it was#Abby probably wouldnt have gone to the theater if Owen (and probably Mel) were still alive when she returned from the Island#if Owen were still alive Mel probably wouldve stayed with the WLF & Abby wouldve gone to Santa Barbera#idk i just smoke & have a lot rattling around in my brain#abby anderson#abigail anderson#abby tlou#tlou2#the last of us#emma rambles#food for thought
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
The weight of the world is a heavy burden
Especially for a child
(Or, in slightly less dramatic terms – I imagine that the first of her past lives that Avatar Suiren [who is the Avatar after Aang instead of Korra in my AU, and also Ghazan and Ming-Hua’s daughter] gets to talk to is Yangchen, because she is too plagued by memories not her own [including Jetsun’s death, fun fact]. And Yangchen wouldn’t want another child to go through what she did on their own)
(Or maybe someone just needed an excuse to draw @katkastrofa’s latest obsession in a context that interests them as well, just in time to maybe cheer her up a little? You can’t prove anything)
#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#Avatar Suiren AU#Kat and Nia and their multiverse of madness#yangchen#original character#sotrl suiren#if you’re wondering what the context is. Suiren is around 8 or 9 here. already having revealed herself as the Avatar to her parents#and it has been Hard. because as much as they try to maintain a sense of normalcy for her. it’s clear that things have changed#they never accounted for their daughter turning out to be the Avatar. they hoped Aang dying on the night she was born to be a coincidence#all of their plans now have to be rethought and put on hold because her safety is more important than anything else#she is never blamed for anything. she is still just as loved. yet there’s now a heaviness in their gazes whenever they look at her#the Avatar as a concept should not exist. it is too much power and responsibility for one being who is ultimately human#that’s what Suiren was taught. so what do those teachings mean if she’s the Avatar?#basically.. a whole lot of cognitive dissonance and she hasn’t even been alive for a decade yet#and all her life her head was filled by strange memories and dreams. fragments of lives not her own. sometimes nightmares#and usually her mama would comfort her through it but tonight… she just wants to be alone#so she wanders off. not too far. but enough that she wouldn’t be heard. and just softly cries#because it’s too much. because she doesn’t want to be the Avatar. why her? why not anyone else?#and as she whispers that she wishes she wasn’t the Avatar. her mind is assaulted by memories of previous Avatars saying the same thing#it really is a never ending cycle of too much burden being placed on a single person. but that realisation is anything but comforting#she begs for it to stop because that grief of life over life spent pushing a boulder uphill is just Too Much#and before she knows it. it ceases. only to be replaced by a blue glow visible even through closed eyelids#and a feather light touch of hands on her face. it doesn’t feel exactly like human hands by virtue of belonging to a spirit#that helps her relax a little. reminding her of mama’s touch. she looks at the person who appeared before her. her mind supplies the name#‘Avatar Yangchen?’. she whispers. but the woman is nowhere near as stoic and peaceful as she’s shown to be in every depiction of her#she looks.. sad. concerned. as burdened by grief as Suiren herself is. she’s not just a legendary figure from a time long gone#not yet another past life Suiren would never measure up to. she’s… human. capable of human emotion. just like Suiren is#I’m not sure how their conversation goes and have no inspiration to come up with anything. but I just wanted to draw them interacting
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think an underlooked part of what shaped jin’s mindset was how even back in Torna, he was considered “property”. He and Lora spent their whole lives avoiding the authorities of Torna because they believed would straight up execute Lora to get Jin back, and no one ever denies it. and this has seemingly been a fear since Lora was a child. Jin had to hide his face everywhere he went. Maybe Torna wouldn’t have been cruel enough to execute a child, especially since the king seemed decent(?) enough, if not a bit distant. But the fact it was even a fear at all for Lora since she was so young is just awful to think about.
According to his past self’s journals, Jin and his old driver fought in a war of independence for Torna, perhaps what made him a hero to begin with. and because he’s a war hero for deeds he doesn’t even remember, the kingdom considers him owned by them. Which is on the nose in two different ways ngl. Both in how the Blades are seen and a wider metaphor of soldiers/state. idk it’s just very sad to think about
#I think a lot of people (esp people who dont really interact with the actual story of 2) boil jins motives down to lora too often#like yes her death sent him spiraling but his actual motives dont like. actually have much to do with her directly. it contributed to his#bad mental state that allowed him to get to that point but he still has plenty of reasons to hate how blades are treated and hes right!#its also why 'lora wouldn't have wanted this' doesnt really matter to him. yeah she wouldnt have. she's also been dead for ages so what does#it matter? like hes definitely not coping healthily mans is constantly retraumatizing himself by keeping her body around but like#he knows she's dead hes accepted it so hes doing better than N at least! jin hates being immortal but he stays alive to keep Loras memory#alive. but the longer he lives the more and more awful shit he sees and the more it breaks him. but he cant die bc then the only person left#who really knew lora would be gone (Minoth is alive too but he knew her for like several weeks at most alsfjakfjljfsa) and thats the curse#xenoblade#xenoblade chronicles#jin#siren says
77 notes
·
View notes
Text
never forget El isn't just touchy feely as a random personality trait, she's spent most of her developmentally critical years horribly starved of touch and warmth and love :)
and every moment of physical comfort she receives is precious to her as an antidote to some specific moment in her past when she suffered the lack of it :) and you can also see the shadow of her traumas in the ways she thinks to give physical comfort :)
and also don't forget that her trauma didn't end with the lab :) when we first meet her her traumas are drawn from lab days but by later seasons it's clear some of the traumas guiding her behavior are just... the show :) such as the crushing pressure of everyone counting on her to find Will :)
and if I spend more than 2 seconds thinking about what any simple little moment of closeness/physical affection/comfort must mean to El I will start sobbing and never stop :)
#eleven#lab feels#the max ones are heavily relevant to my fic#el is fairly into touching peoples heads during hugs in general#but her comforting max involves a lot of head stroking and i'm thinking it's because that's an old self soothing habit :(#also I realize 'its okay' is an extremely standard thing to say to a distressed person but#what if she says that to max because she remembers joyce saying it to her in the void and it making her feel better#and what do you wanna bet she held onto max's hand like that because she remembers going into the void to find will#and knowing she's his only hope and his fate is completely on her shoulders and all these people are counting on her#and then feeling will's hand dissolve in hers. and not knowing where he went or how to help him#and now she's gone in to find max and it's the same thing all over again and she's max's only hope#only this time it isn't some kid it's her best friend and the person she probably loves most in the world. and who trusts her to save her#do you know how terrified she is that max is gonna turn into smoke too. and disappear to somewhere el can't find her or help her#do you know how terrified she is that she's going to fail her#do you get what unfathomable trauma it is that she did fail her (it wasn't her fault but with her hero complex she'll feel like it is)#i will be adding to this gifset in season 5 when max wakes up#im fine (im not)#angst#mine#bestof
265 notes
·
View notes
Text
#mine#moon#looked crazy last night#even though the rain cleared today and I saw her again#went to mount auburn yesterday too and the trees haven’t really changed but was still a lovely walk#I drove by this cemetery near my house though and it’s changing makes no sense to meee#found that one by accident driving back from somewhere in the early morning hours back in ‘22#I have cool foggy autumn pictures in there and I forgot about her until today#I think had gone for a sunrise pictures at the beach#and pulled over like a crazy person because the lighting was insane in there#weird how there’s so many cool spots you drive by and don’t notice#anyways#lots of quiet reflections lately#and tree and moon peepin when I can
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
this is my little girl 💖
she’s running low on time with us, and my dad has been saying things along the lines of ‘this is why I don’t like pets’, because he finds the grieving process so hard.
I don’t fault him for that, he just feels loss deeply and deals with it differently.
sometimes I even find myself falling briefly into the same thinking. ‘what if making a different choice all those years ago saved me and my family from this grief and this pain?’
but I also know there’s no way I would make a different decision. no amount of grief could outweigh the joy she’s brought us over these last fifteen years. the laughter, the comfort, the connection.
I think about hikes with my dad when she was tiny and able bodied and would race up ahead of us on the trails and then race back to check on us. I think about the first time she saw snow and she instantly turned into a tiny fluffy bunny rabbit, hopping through drifts that were ankle deep for us but nearly buried her, and the matted snowballs she came away with, looking like a tiny curly haired yeti.
I think of her interrupting GrammE and John’s wedding along with Sagie, confusion turning into laughter as they sped after each other across the backyard ceremony. I think of my mom, lonely on the island and isolated during covid, telling me that Ginger was her saving grace.
and these don’t even scratch the surface. fifteen years of love she’s given us.
so yeah. losing her is going to damn near break me and I know that. but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
#you don’t have to read the post I just want people to look at my baby#if you have non-human family members give them a little extra love#I’m trying so hard to remind myself that not only have these last fifteen years been a gift#but these last six months or so have been a straight up miracle#I love her so much#I worry about how my mom is going to cope with her loss#she’s my best friend but she’s lived with my mom since my mom moved out#and so she’s been a daily companion to her and part of all of her routines#on one hand I’m relieved because caring for a dog especially an aging and disabled one#is a lot of work and my mom herself is already disabled and needs additional help#(and sometimes that resulted in me worrying that both of them weren’t getting proper care for their health)#but on the other hand I do think Ginge had been the biggest part of combating loneliness for my mom#especially after losing Tan#anyway I’m uh maybe crying too much to type now so I’m gonna call it#but I might post more photos of my little old lady baby over the next few days#because I love her and I think other people should too lol#personal#tw pet death#tw pet loss#(she’s not gone yet to be clear but I’m tagging these for other people’s sake bc I know it’s upsetting)#(she’s in the final days/weeks of kidney failure just in case anyone is wondering why I’m making assumptions about her passing)#toy poodle#poodle#pet#dog#puppy
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
I finally saw the mean girls musical (the movie one) I have so many fucking thoughts oh my god
#thoughts#oni talks#mean girls 2024#I think I may be the only person to kind of like it? like don’t get me wrong it is kinda ROUGH but it has so much potential and there’s bits#and pieces that I actually really enjoy or wish they had more of or just aahh#I’ve been nonstop thinking about the ideal version in my head like there’s so much potential obviously I’m biased by like a lot#since for one I know I tend to like stuff other people hate or don’t like but for two this sequel was weirdly way more relatable so maybe#I’m just projecting from my own personal experiences but Idc the POTENTIAL THERES SO MUCH ID WANNA DO INSTEAD#like there’s so many little details and characterizations that I wish was expanded on or fleshed out and it’s just like it feels like either#half baked or that it’s gone through too many edits it’s like it’s scared to exist?? like there’s some differences I love and wish they lol#leaned into but it’s like it was terrified to be too different? or like they were rushing the end especially#like in my ideal form it’s a tv show coz I think they honestly have enough that could be genuinely expanded in a way more interesting way#via that format probably not like a super extended series like you COULD but you’d definitely need more expansion but I could see the potent#but like idk one SOLID musical season with expanded character story and not like one of those rush cram shows like a good solid one#like Regina’s characterization is so fascinating but also feels like slightly off and like they could’ve leaned way more into things?#like I think keeping Regina as a closeted lesbian gives the greatest potential and interest for an expanded story#like I loved maybe the first half of the movie the most like that one song she sang to manipulate Aaron would work so much more perfectly if#she’s singing it about/to Cady? I also think in my ideal brain an cool flashback episode for Janis and Regina would be so cool coz there’s#so much you could flesh out in a flashback than you could in a retelling which while I do like the retelling since it lets you imagine thing#I just! potential! I also want more of them interacting and I do think changing Janis to be a lesbian works if they leaned more into it?#I also think in my ideal form janis would have more comeuppance or acknowledgement of her shit? I also think an arc of Regina coming out#like one thing they missed from the original is Regina playing soccer at the end & I think they could hint more towards that and maybe lean#more into her at home life in an expanded story way coz her mom is clearly like… yikes. granted maybe some of my views on the movie are too#biased by personal experience but like the way she snaps at her mom usually in my experience isn’t out of nowhere? like parents behind#closed doors. or frustrations with what her mom has clearly been putting on her the way she tells her mom not to talk about her body is very#like idk a lot of the characters in this version feel more real to me bc they act really similar to people I know irl so the expanded story#could be cool. another one that in my ideal brain would have more is Gretchen and especially her relationships with Regina as well as with#that one guy and her parents I wanna see more of how that works and her arc to feel more meaningful when she dumps him & mentions family#also as much as I didn’t care much for the straight plot stuff there’s 100% missed potential there that I could see in the differences like#iirc in the original it’s regular algebra not AP calc which I think could’ve been used as an interesting characterization opportunity for
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay so! i did finish s3 of lost last night! but i was too sleepy to post too much. so my thoughts include: juliet is still hot. the love-square is still bad and should've been gay. charlie's death almost made me so sad but then i was annoyed for Reasons. what's up with the lesbians living in that underwater place. annoyed at locke. but other than that it's great not really hating anyone rn. french mom and daughter reunited :) also there's a ghost <3 and the big bad of the show is communications issues like if you have some great reason about why they shouldn't leave the island. have you considered. you know. telling them the reason???? even if it sounds insane at least tell them and then we'll see like just tell them and see what happens or at least tell me bc i'm noisy ghsjdfhgjf
#the thing about charlie is that if he died on the greatest hits episode i would've cried#but then he took two more episodes to die#the emotional punch of that ep was gone#and he fulfilled his purpose of turning off the thing and finding out the boat was not penny's#i know he thought he HAD to die#but he did what he had to do he could've LEFT#like do i get it? yeah i guess but i still think he didn't have to close the damn door#anyway#jack and juliet kiss annoyed me on principle (heterosexuality) but also 👀 it's nice to see her anyway 👀#OH AND THE TWIST AT THE END#totally saw it coming but it doesn't count bc i know too much already#but personally i think it was GREAT#but also i don't love that we'll know who leaves the island and maybe who doesnt but oh well#still having a lot of fun!!#i think i'm going to take a small break though :( to catch up with movies and other shows :(#i might be lying....#but maybe not....#anyway see you soon maybe tonight or in january who knows#if you read all this i love you <3
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#in a strange place today and i need to put this somewhere. i do not have a journal yet. this is it#my grandad was diagnosed with dementia years ago and the grandad i have now is often unrecognisable from the one i grew up with#and while this like isn’t fun and it is strange for him to look at me and not know me more times than he does. it has also been kind of l#lovely?#bc he thinks my granny is still alive so whenever i get to go see him i get to pretend she is too. and she is for a minute. and tho i am#glad she went before him. it is nice to say oh i’m popping in to see her after this grandad and talk about her like she’s hasn’t been gone#since i’ve been ten. my dad has spoken more to him in the last five years than he has his whole life#he was not an easy man. he was loud and friendly and hard working and funny and scary but not easy. in ways he is even#harder now. in others he is easier.#he is more of a child. this is what dementia can do to a brain. we are learning things about his childhood that no one alive has ever spoken#about. that no one knew. my dad doesn’t love him more now but he understands him better#my grandad taught me how to drive a tractor and how to fish through my dad and he has not recognised me in over a year and he#hasn’t walked since he broke his pelvis seven years ago and his muscles are nearly all gone. he is a fraction of the size he used to be. his#personality and body took up my childhood like adults on the screen in cartoons. he hasn’t dressed himself in a decade. he told one of the#nurses that after dinner he wanted ice cream plain like herself and nearly peed when she laughed and told him to fuck off#he is in there. he is himself. i know him. but he isn’t. he doesn’t know me but he allows me to tell him how to ppl he knows are doing. he#still somehow trusts me. we talk a lot about my granny and how she stayed up watching tv again last night so she’s tired today. don’t stay#long when you call in to see her?#whenever we would journey to see him and my granny and get in v late he’d ask us if we wanted apple tart and my granny would say michael.#not ur kids. u can’t parent them. he didn’t know my name yesterday but he asked me if i wanted apple tart#i hope he dies soon. for all that i will miss this. miss my dad having this. he would not want to live like this. it wouldntbe living to him
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
BPD Tenth Doctor
#tenth doctor#doctor who#just the way he does relationships in general pings that way to me#how he needs someone as his anchor point and they become his whole world#the clinging but then pushing away or lashing out when scared of losing them#the way he seems to stop caring about his own wellbeing when someone he cares about is in danger or gone#the 'no second changes' mentality#while also going way way out of his way to offer people a first chance even when they don't deserve it#the whole harriet jones situation#and really a lot of how he interacts with jack#the type of way he messes things up with martha#and how he just sort of assumes every time donna asks for a break she is gonna leave for forever#how he clams tf up when people DO promise him forever#the 'always on the run' attitude where it feels safer to never settle down#bpd is a presentation of trauma and an adaptation to survive it#and it's like how he's adapted to deal with the trauma of losing literally everyone and everything in the time war#his relationship with Rose is what made me think about bpd 10 in the first place tbh#she's his Favorite Person and he's different around her than anyone else#and he's riding the high of being with her while petrified of losing her while also doing things to push her away out of fear#then when he loses her it's like he's fully lost himself too#and he's so much more defeated and weary of caring after that
22 notes
·
View notes