#a little voice

[two-birds-alone-together]

Hello hello! How is Bookshop 4 coming along? Any tidbits or plot bunnies you can share? 👀

You wanted a novel-length response, right? 🙃

The title is from "A Little Voice" by Sara Bareilles (absolutely SHOCKING, I know). I have no idea why I felt the need to word vomit about the title, but you can find some insight into it below the cut.

Let's see, tidbits or plot bunnies...

I wrote the last scene in February 2024 and the epilogue in July 2024.

I've been focusing on a few other stories lately, but Bookshop is always in the back of my mind. I've been toying with changing up the format a bit... we'll see if that happens or not

Here's a lil snippie... as you may be able to tell, this is unedited 🤣

The ringing phone jerks him awake, neck protesting against the way he’d fallen asleep with his chin on his chest.  He nearly tosses it across the room in the scramble to catch it. “Yeah, hey.” “Did I wake you, old man?”  Wherever Ellie is, there’s a lot of background noise.  She’s supposed to be at [person]’s house, and last he checked that’s exactly where she was. “‘Course you did, it’s…” Joel pulls the phone away from his face, frowning at the time.  “Girl, you better be callin’ from outside the door because you forgot your keys.” Static crackles over the line, like she’s covering the microphone, before Ellie says, “Look, I need you to be cool about something.” “Ellie—” “Like, really cool.  Like, cooler than you’ve ever been in your life.” “Jesus Christ,” Joel grumbles under his breath, already getting to his feet.  “Don’t tell me you got arrested.” “I didn’t get arrested,” Ellie responds dutifully.  “So, are you gonna be cool or do I need to call Tess?” He throws his head back, inhaling slowly through his nose as he shakes his head. “I’ll be cool until morning. Where are you?” “Uh…”  More muffled conversation, then, “The corner of [street] and [street] in [place].  I need you to come get us, and Jesse and Dina need to stay over.” This kid’s going to be the death of him.  “[Place]?  The hell you doin’ out there?  You’re supposed—” “You said you’d be cool,” Ellie interrupts.  “And you’re always on me about calling even if I do dumb shit and think you’re going to be mad, so you should be happy I’m fucking listening to you for once. Can you come get us?”

Previously shared snippies:

ellie & joel argue (1)

ellie & joel argue (2)

ellie & tess bonding

ellie hurts herself in gym class

Picture it: New Jersey, 2024.

I driving home from a famiy thing upstate and had my all-Sara-all-the-time playlist on. I've listened to it a ton, know all the songs, etc., but I find that driving generates so. many. ideas. It also gives me the opportunity to really internalize song lyrics, since it's me, the car, and my playlists.

So I'm sitting on the approach to the George Washington Bridge (where it goes from like 6 lanes to 3, because it's not a heavily traveled bridge or anything). Now, I am at a complete stop, have moved maybe 3 car lengths in 20 minutes, and basically sitting like Joel when Ellie isn't tired.

"A Little Voice" comes on. I'm half-daydreaming, half-listening, and I catch the lyric:

No amount of remembering the better things Will make the bad ones go away.

My brain goes: EllieEllieEllieEllie.

I immediately restart the song because I hadn't been paying enough attention to the lyrics.

Well, here's an accurate (if non-chronological) depiction of me in the car as I pay close attention to the song:

The acknowledgement that trauma remains with you, even after you've learned to accept it.

The finding a way to express yourself when words don't cut it.

The risk you take of putting it all out there.

The realization that part of you isn't there anymore.

It all positively screamed Bookshop 4.

Anyway, it took me another 2.5 hours to get home and I listened to that song and only that song the entire time.

dividers from pngtree

[ratgirlexe]

I guess I make things now, so I guess I’m also allowed to do a little year in retrospect thingy!

This last year is the year I started creating. On the first of February I decided to start trying to make video games, after playing Pseudoregalia. By valentines I had made my first game, a cute little CYOA game that I made for my girlfriend in preparation for a trip to see her. It was silly and cute and small and is the best thing I’ve ever made. I love that game.

Then, I made a little shmup game, mostly as a prototype for a much larger project that I’ve since put on hold until I have more coding experience. It was fun to put together, but it’s very much just a tester project. What’s most important is that it’s finished, and took me only 6 days! I’m proud of it just for that fact alone.

Fast forward a month and I met my lovely partner, who introduced me to Coquette Dragoon. After playing it I really wanted to create something for it because I loved the world and characters so much, so I actually wrote my first bit of fanfiction. It was messy and is still unfinished, but without that writing I never would have had the confidence to write anything for HDG, Or a truly story based game. I love Terra and the Pilot, and it’s a story I’ll probably keep coming back to off and on when I want to write a cute little girl having a really *really* bad time.

After that a lot of life stuff started getting in the way and I moved to much longer projects. Namely 3000 Cycles With You, an ongoing project that I’ll likely be working on well into this upcoming year, and a smattering of HDG fics, most notably Myosotis, and an unnamed and as-of-yet unpublished plushification fic set in the HDG universe. While I’ve definitely gotten a bit mired in these longer projects, it’s been amazing having these big projects to really sink my teeth into and explore. When I first started writing HDG I never could have imagined what Cin and Sepheri and the gang would have ended up meaning to me, and I’m so so so glad that I took the plunge to start writing longer form projects. Myosotis is the longest thing I’ve ever written, and while I definitely would have chosen to write some of it differently in hindsight, I’m proud of how it’s turning out, and I’m proud of myself for writing it.

As for 3000CWY, I cannot *wait* to get a playable demo into people’s hands. I love making video games so much, and while writing is my passion, I think game dev will always be the central hobby I keep coming back to.

Ultimately I’m really excited for where this upcoming year will take me, and I’m proud of where this last year has carried me creatively speaking. Even as it’s been a really tough year for me interpersonally (my current living situation has left me exceedingly isolated socially) it’s been the best year of my life for creating and having hobbies, and I’m proud of that fact.

Lastly, thank you to everyone who has supported me this last year, whether that’s liking my posts about HDG, or leaving nice comments on Myosotis, or giving me feedback about my games! I’m so grateful to have people who even care about the things I make, and without that feedback it would be a lot harder to stay motivated to create. I’m extra grateful for all my friends who have playtested and beta-read things for me, without which I think the things I’ve made would have a lot less flavour. I love you all. <3

[nariarts]

Spent a ridiculous amount of time last night obsessively editing my hand written zines in Photoshop to take away any tiny blemishes so they were definitely readable.

Whatever. Understand or don't.

[triski73]

Kiddos hear EVERYTHING

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[littlelightfish]

Funny things I found out playing with language setting in Netflix while looking episode 15:

Chilchuck's scream sounds HAUNTED in brazilian portuguese. Give it a try if you can.

(You can hear it here)

In spanish dub, Senshi says: "tocó mis senos de hombre", which means "he touched my man boobs" in Spanish. And I think that's the best dub line one so far.

[eastgaysian]

[bruciemilf]

It’s always “evil Superman!!!!” this, or “villain justice league!!!” that.

I want an AU of villain! Bruce who’s absolutely dog-shit at being evil.

Firstly: The worst thing he can think of doing is not donating to animal shelters or charities . immediately feels so guilty he throws up.

Secondly: The second a child cries because of him, he’d freeze up. Stand like a statue, unmoving and petrified. No more evil, but just today.

He ends up helping the city by accident more often than not, and to his immortal disappointment, Gotham loves both the Bat and Bruce Wayne.

“alfred come look at my evil plan”

“Yes, sir, “ Alfred is very indulgent. He does his best to pretend it’s actually good. “ ‘Don’t say please to the barista’. Getting bold, are we?”

EVERYTIME He and Clark meet and Bruce monologues about pulverizing him to dust, Clark (and the League) looks at him like this:

“I can make him worse,” GOOD FOR YOU!!! Clark can make him into his malewife and adopt his 7 evil sidekicks who actually know how to villain. Especially the little one.

[corviiids]

my top bit of advice going into the new year: compliment people. especially strangers. literally everyone you interact with if you can. when you buy coffee in the morning compliment the barista's tattoos. when you're chatting with a coworker tell them that by the way you like their outfit. always find something they've chosen to do on purpose. nail polish, jewellery, tattoos, hair colour/style, statement accessory, outfit, etc are all good bets. things people hope will be noticed. things that aren't too personal so it doesn't make them uncomfortable (eg probably not their physical features). i've gotten into the habit of scanning everyone i talk to for something about them that i think is cool so i can tell them. it's a great habit because it makes me notice people and realise just how many neat little details there are in people's presentation of themselves that might pass me by if i wasn't paying attention. and it brings out so much joy. you'd be surprised how much it disarms people to receive an unexpected compliment from someone they don't know. it is the most sincere smile you will see all day long. it feels nice to make people happy but it also means you win the social interaction. establish dominance by complimenting a stranger's earrings and disappearing into the fog

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

"Why did I do that?"

close up

[teddybeartoji]

sukuna has full-blown conversations with your cat when you're not at home . like you come home one day and find them in the bathroom – sukuna is shaving his face while the cat sits on the counter beside him, and he's just talking with the little beast. and it seems so serious, too, like they're both very into the conversation???? anyway it's a ridiculously endearing sight aaaand it also gives you the perfect material to tease him with lmao he'll click his tongue whenever you bring it up and most likely he'll counter you by telling you that you're just jealous..

[roz-ani]

THIS TOOK ME SO OFF GUARD

IT'S HIS NORMAL VOICE- THERE WAS NO RADIO- THE FACT THAT IT HAPPENED- IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT EVERYONE'S ASLEEP AND I CAN'T SCREAM

[pentapoda]

Ah, a character with floaty hair and a fun color scheme? I'm in.

[wasyago]

tango doodles

first you make up a guy and then you struggle to draw him correctly

[sunshineandlyrics]

The most adorable duet (27 October 2023) x

[bittersweetresilience]

@duckbunny on wanting to live

companion weave