#a lasting impact that changed my life

[maybe-boys-do-love]

Mix Sahaphap gets to perform (and has the performance chops to perform) in a style that I’ve never seen any other male actor get to embody. Mix gets to unironically play the #strongfemalecharacter. The Beatrice, the Elizabeth Bennett, the Jo March. Strong-willed, emotional, kind-hearted.

Not only do the plot points line up, but Mix, more than any BL actor I’ve seen, fully leans into the embodiment of this archetype. In his roles, he rolls his eyes, pouts, banters flirtatiously, softens his posture and expression at small details. He doesn’t over-exaggerate and imposition other characters but his face also doesn’t hold back his character’s thoughts and judgments. And when the moments arrive, he lets all the hurt and anguish pour out in shatters of tears and visible heartbreak—the star-counting scene, anyone????—in a way that harkens to the operatic emotionality of well-done melodramas, soap-operas, and their contemporary Thai equivalent of Lakorn. It’s only that these have never been men’s roles in those.

It’s no surprise that one of Mix’s roles—Cupid’s Last Wish—is explicitly a gender body-swap, and Tian in A Tale of Thousand Stars is (albeit explicitly denied within the show) heavily connected to gender body-swapping. What Mix specializes in as an actor, and does exceptionally well, has been defined as feminine. To depict a kind of queer expression in this style is novel because it’s not camp, it’s not okama, it’s not a soft or femboy, it’s not a BL twink (Mix has been mostly excluded from the schoolyards and quads of the BL universe except for a role as a senior crush in Fish Upon the Sky). It’s too sincere and too adult for any of that.

In Moonlight Chicken we get to see, without the pretense of gendered mysticism, this performance style’s seduction, warmth, wit, and explosiveness within the framework of a general gay form of expression. It says that this kind of femininity might just be a gay thing. Not all gay men exhibit it, obviously—queer men aren’t a monolith. Still, it gives us something to consider about how we observe performance of queerness on screen, especially in front of an audience that puts so much more emphasis on ships, heat, and pairing chemistry to assess how well they perform a BL role. Could we look for other features to judge performance of queerness instead of how well they kiss?

Seme and uke roles would be the major performance style categories loyal BL fans assess actors with, yet even within the archetype his character’s fill within BL narratives, Mix’s performances differ from the typical uke depiction in BL because he really doesn’t perform them as passive. Rather, Mix’s characters and his portrayal of them are dynamic and demanding. It certainly fits certain stereotypes of ukes (Gilbert!) and their gay stereotype equivalent of bottoms as pillow princesses and brats. Mix’s characters, though, have more drive, agency, and compassion than that, and he plays them with all of those currents running underneath.

We certainly have openly gay writer/director Aof Noppharnach to thank for writing this kind of queer character for Mix to play in Tian and Wen. But for Mix’s specific commitment to the performance starting off with his (debut!?) role in ATOTS, we first have Earth to thank for believing in Mix’s ability and recommending him to portray the role of Tian, and then Aof’s acceptance despite his differing initial expectations for the character. Mix, Earth, and Aof have all been open about how Mix in his personal life and nature holds a lot of similarities to both his role as Tian in ATOTS and Wen in Moonlight Chicken. Some people might knock points off his performances because he’s like them. But his relationship to the characters, rather than dampening my enthusiasm for Mix’s performances, helps me appreciate his willingness to give an authentic performance in a style that hasn’t been encouraged on screens previously. It’s made more impactful that he chose to risk vulnerability to bring something personal that had previously been excluded from screens because of its gender deviance (and in broader society explicitly condemned). This doesn’t make a claim on Mix’s actual identity, but simply shows his willingness to understand and perform the expressions of his queer characters with an effort at empathy that many other actors would feel challenged to bring.

Some actors are chameleons, but some actors have a gift of a type within which they can explore depths and range that no one else can best. For me, that’s what Mix does in his work when directors and casting understands his talent. There’s a BTS video of Mix actually fainting during a scene while in Earth/Phupa’s embrace on the mountain that immediately brought to mind the wildly famous final scene in the film Camille where Greta Garbo as Marguerite dies in her lover’s arms.

For Mix, it was a serious incident due to regrettably extreme conditions and requiring the on-set paramedics, but these levels of theatrics, for me, are emblematic of what Mix is capable of as a performer, as well. After all, he had to faint in Phupa’s arms multiple times on purpose. It’s the kinds of Old Hollywood and heightened sentimental romance realms Mix takes his performances to! Then he can turn around and make it look easy to take that same character into grounded quips or dedicated everyday tasks. It only takes writers, directors, and audiences willing to see that men can feel this way and act this way. Mix has paved the way.

[mmmairon]

Please. I don’t want to hurt you.

Inspired by @wyvernne ’s vampluc

[loklove48]

I feel this on a deep, emotional, mental, physical and spiritual level. No other show has ever affected me as profoundly as The Legend of Korra. Yes, yes, yes to everything in this post, thank you for expressing exactly how I feel🥰

The Legend of Korra is a really important show to me personally, but I can't even say the first two letters of the main character's name without 𝓔𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔂 𝓯𝓾𝓬𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓱𝓾𝓶𝓪𝓷 𝓸𝓷 𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓱 giving me their two cents that the first show is better. I didn't fucking ask. It's just a show I've accepted I can never so much as mention, and that hurts............. Korra was the first time I saw myself mirrored in a protagonist, she empowered me and made me so proud of who I am. I'm glad so many people love the original, it's a great show, but that's not an excuse to constantly put me down for liking the second show more.

[autism0fadown]

I’ve been re-listening to dndads s1 and i just finished the last episode again… im inconsolable

[joyridingmp3]

2 years to the date that all of my hard work paid off and i was able to buy a home for myself and finally, at long long long long last, able to escape my abusive parents house. not just a house, but a home, and that difference has always been important to me. i feel mostly astounded by how quickly the years have passed since then, but also proud. not just of the achievement but also the way that i've been able to get to know myself, develop my identity, and figure out who i am in that short period of time. it's amazing the way you get to flourish in a world with stability (and not just in the material sense but that too!) when you're not spending every second running from and avoiding life altering trauma. i have some really exciting opportunities coming up to better help me work towards that very soon and hopefully the trajectory continues. it was such a difficult 24 years in getting there a couple of years ago and i really didn't think i'd even make it at times but my god it was so worth waiting for.

[ch3irv3]

wips

I promise I’m working on them 🫡

[camgoloud]

you ever just. become overwhelmed by a sudden out-of-nowhere wave of tenderness and affection and longing for reconnection directed towards someone to whom you no longer speak for Very Good Reasons

[nightmareonpeachstreet]

Genshin 4.1 spoilers below

Neuvillette: *talks about the weird random laws of Fontaine, including that you're not allowed to name your domesticated animals after Furina*

me, who is literally adopting a new puppy soon and had already decided prior to this news I was going to name her Furina: I don't believe in that law I think someone else made up that law specifically to thwart Furina. did you see her playing with that cat? she loves animals.

[sensitivegoblin]

Vent

Tw: sh, suivide

[imflyingfish]

.

[userkoo]

in other news, i think i've finally!!!! planned out and fully decided on my first tattoo and will be scheduling her shortly

[taeyungie]

hi ♡ i guess i'm back? 🥹

here's a little life update! i think you guys deserve it after my absence that lasted longer than even i expected it to last ;( i am very sorry about that. i miss everyone here and bangtan so much, you have no idea. the reason for all that is that for the past months i have been going through a lot of things and changes in my life. there were good and bad things happening, time flies extra fast, days melt into one and i didn't even notice the past half a year pass. although i think my absence was unavoidable in these circumstances i just thought that you guys deserve to know what's been up with me for the past months haha i have received a lot messages and reminders that people remember about me and that they miss me and i just want to send all of you my biggest apologies for leaving you for so long with no response, as well as all my love and gratitude! 🥺 i think i've been always fairly transparent on here so if anyone wanted to know more I'll leave some more details in the tags but basically I just hope that soon i will be able to become more active again and respond to messages ❤️❤️❤️ i hope everyone is doing great 🥰

[the-cookie-of-doom]

I've been in nursing school for a year now, and the stress of everything has been seriously wearing me down. After nearly 4 months in clinical being made to feel like an idiot, I find myself doubting my choices more often than not. But then I'll have an interaction with a patient at just the right time to remind me exactly why I'm here, suffering through his god-awful program.

A few weeks ago, a patient my age came in, massive trauma victim. She'd been camping in the mountains for a few days when she crashed an ATV. Honestly, she's lucky to be alive. Her friends had to run 2 miles through the wilderness to get to a payphone and call for help. She'd spent a week in the hospital by the time I met her, when she'd finally asked someone if there was any way we could wash her hair.

The normal system we use is these shower caps that have soap in them, and they're awful. Especially when you have thick, curly hair that's almost down to your waist. Walking into that room, seeing this poor kid who could barely move due to her injuries, my heart just broke. Her hair was so dirty after almost 2 weeks without a proper shower that it looked wet from where I was standing in the door.

Together with another nurse tech, we managed to improvise and figure out how to get her hair washed. The beds aren't made for it, we don't have the equipment for it, and like I said she could barely move. But we made it work. I spent probably an hour and a half carefully washing and combing through her hair with nothing more than a regular barber's comb, until it was completely clean and tangle free, and braided it after so it could stay that way.

Just this week I was able to help another young woman that I wasn't assigned to. I didn't know anything about her situation, but I overheard another of my classmates (her assigned student) tell the nurse tech that she needed help and didn't want him to do it. The nurse tech essentially told him it wasn't her responsibility to accommodate that, she was too busy, and the patient needed to either accept his help or get over it. I overhead, and stepped in to see what was wrong.

When I got to the room, the patient was crying and hyperventilating, couldn't tell me what was going on, and looked overall distraught. I was able to just sit with her for a few minutes to calm her down, find out what was wrong. She was hot and sweaty, needed a new gown/sheets. Understandable, no problem. I went and got the stuff, brought her a cold drink and a fan, got her changed, etc. The whole time she kept apologizing because she didn't know what was wrong with her, she wasn't usually like that, she didn't have anything against the guys it was just too much...

The whole time, that nurse tech from before was with me, too. Despite telling my classmate she didn't have time to deal with it, she almost immediately followed me into the room, kept trying to take over what I was doing, all while looking incredibly frustrated with the patient. Making her feel even worse. Once we were done I got the tech to leave so I could talk with the patient, let her know it's okay, that she was just overwhelmed and it's understandable. I reassured her that we're there to take care of her, she deserves to feel safe and taken care of in the hospital. The whole time, she didn't feel comfortable asking for anything else because of how she was treated before me.

Nursing school focuses on building a therapeutic relationship with patients. We need them to trust us and believe they'll be taken care of. It's easy to say you chose health care because you want to help people, but it's also really easy to lose that compassion. Sometimes you don't realize you're doing it. I don't blame that nurse tech, she really was busy. And when you're a working nurse with multiple patients to care for, you don't always have the time to spend an hour or two washing someone's hair, or handling their emotional breakdown with patience. But I think too often, people don't even try.

These relationship's with patients are exactly what's getting me through the misery of nursing school. I'm not out there curing anyone right now, but I know I'm having a positive impact in people's lives. I'm doing my best to show that you can still trust that when you're in the hospital, during one of the most vulnerable times in your life, someone will be there to take care of you and care for you.

I've worked in health care for two and a half years now. My philosophy has always been to maintain patient dignity above all else. It's so easy to forget the person lying in that bed is still a person, and not just a patient, or a set of tasks that have to get done at a certain time. You can't let yourself forget the care in healthcare.

[torgawl]

i was playing luocha's quest "guide for a knight stranger" when i spotted a genshin character. this is like finding beyoncé in a supermarket. what is chang the ninth doing here? i think it's pretty cool that he's a detective romance novel character in this universe instead of a writer, it's like the world is inverted. and he's the killer's uncle, nonetheless. too bad we don't know (as far as i'm aware of) if genshin's chang the ninth has nephews, but with at least 8 siblings it's very likely.

[pochapal]

trying not to start #discourse over here BUT it needs to be said that i am fascinated by the depths of the average tumblr user's addiction to suffering. go into the notes of any semi-viral positivity/mental health post and it's literally crawling with people going "nice sentiment but it's meaningless against capitalism/trauma/disability/systemic cruelty/the Horrors so fuck you for peddling this delusional bullshit". like yeah bitch the Horrors *are* inescapable! why does that mean you have to be miserable 24/7 about it though??

[gimmeacupcake]

I'm so glad I didn't watch trigun sooner despite it being on my to-do list since I was like 12

I would have made this man my entire personality