#and a lot of that has been reflected through stylistic/physical changes

[joyridingmp3]

2 years to the date that all of my hard work paid off and i was able to buy a home for myself and finally, at long long long long last, able to escape my abusive parents house. not just a house, but a home, and that difference has always been important to me. i feel mostly astounded by how quickly the years have passed since then, but also proud. not just of the achievement but also the way that i've been able to get to know myself, develop my identity, and figure out who i am in that short period of time. it's amazing the way you get to flourish in a world with stability (and not just in the material sense but that too!) when you're not spending every second running from and avoiding life altering trauma. i have some really exciting opportunities coming up to better help me work towards that very soon and hopefully the trajectory continues. it was such a difficult 24 years in getting there a couple of years ago and i really didn't think i'd even make it at times but my god it was so worth waiting for.

[gotorux]

Fandom Discourse Analysis

Mentions of aging up, enjoying villian characters, and disliking popular characters.

Something I have noticed about anime becoming more popular and mainstream and also the rise in minors in certain spaces is a constant level of discourse over certain topics. I truly believe it’s a good thing anime has become more popular. However, as it brings in more viewers, I think it’s important too open up the conversation surrounding the necessity of distinguishing fiction from reality. There is a lot of posts I see while browsing tags and although I don’t post often I think something needs to be said about three very specific topics that, for me, mean a lot and seem to have a lot of discourse surrounding them. 

One of the things I see happening a lot lately within the community is the hatred against people for liking fictional characters who happen to be minors in their respective animes. The aging up dilemma. First off, let me start by saying that a fictional pixel on a screen does not = minor. It can not be a minor because it is a drawing that was made up whenever the author wrote it. And in a lot of these instances, these characters are crafted by the authors with traits that appeal broadly to audiences, transcending their canon ages. This is particularly evident in shonen anime, where characters are often depicted with maturity, wisdom, or exaggerated physical features that align more closely with adult aesthetics rather than with children. This stylistic choice by many authors is done purposely to cater to a wide demographic, enabling viewers to form connections with characters regardless of age. 

It's important to recognize that a great majority of the time it is NOT the age that attracts viewers to the character which differentiates them with people in real life who are attracted to minors. Having a crush on, or writing about a fictional character that, like I said previously more closely align with adult aesthetics, does not make someone a pedophile. I think when it comes to loli and shota, then yes maybe we can open up this conversation as those characters are made to look like children. But that’s another topic. Acknowledging the fictional nature of these characters and their resemblance to adult fictional characters should be taken into consideration and not be misconstrued as indicative of real-life inclinations towards minors. Not to mention many of these authors don’t want them to be minors which is why they write about them as adults. Again, these are NOT minors. They are drawings and their ages can be changed depending on who’s writing them. An author could come out tomorrow and say the character has always been an adult and that would make it canon. It is not the same as pedophilia. Most people like characters like Sukuna that doesn’t reflect their real life tastes. Which brings me to my next point. 

Liking a villainous character does not correspond to endorsing those actions in real life. Anime often portrays "evil" characters with a depth that makes them appealing through usually through some form of tragic backstory, a charismatic or confident personality, or having extremely complex motivations. I think this makes people often misunderstand that liking them is a reflection of one's real-world values. That is not the case. 

Some people even like these characters just for being attractive and due to the fact they are fictional, and again an authors way of getting people to appeal to said characters, it can not be misconstrued of saying that those actions would be okay in real life scenarios. These characters allow viewers to explore themes of conflict, redemption, and moral ambiguity that can be explored in safety because it’s fiction. I think one of the main reasons people find themselves drawn to them is that villian characters are often created with flaws and authors give them depth to explore said flaws. This is why anti-hero characters are also often seen as more relatable and engaging. Anti-heroes, like villains, aren't bound by the usual moral constraints and often make decisions that are more realistic than heroes would. They can express doubts, conflicts, and vulnerabilities that mirror real human experiences. This makes them intriguing and allows audiences to connect with them on a deeper level.

All that said I think the attraction to villainous or morally grey characters often stems from their complexity and the opportunity they provide for viewers to engage with difficult ideas and emotions in a safe, controlled setting. These characters challenge our perceptions of good and evil by navigating a blurred line between the two which is appealing for most people. 

The last thing I want to bring up which kind of ties in with liking villainous characters is that disliking certain characters beloved by others is not necessarily a negative stance. Anime characters are crafted with diverse backgrounds, personalities, and motives, which naturally produce varied reactions among viewers. Understanding a character's motives yet still disliking them is completely valid and should stop being treated as inherently wrong or a negative reflection of someone. 

People are allowed personal preference and I think that encourages a a better discussion within anime communities whereby differing opinions can coexist. It is through these discussions that fans can dig into character analysis and conversations revolving around characters. Recognizing that disagreement over characters is totally normal and that people can be cool with each other, or be friends and disagree is important in both real life and fiction. 

At the end of the day there is also the block button which I will admit I use when needed, if you disagree with someone’s take. Instead of sending them hate and being a horrible person on the internet. 

[uyuforu]

https://www.tumblr.com/uyuforu/742760539006156801/hiii-i-wanted-to-know-which-part-of-my-natal

hello not my ask but could you do an example with jk chart? its ok if not i dont want to bother

hope you have good day

Jungkook's Style Evolution

Jungkook's style has been something very interesting to watch over the years. A Fashion style and the way dress always have an importance, at it reflects our personality, our tastes, our self, our mood but also our evolution as a being. And as we all know, JK's Fashion indeed changed over the years too. I thought it would be very interesting to take a look, and someone in the ask box asked me to do so. I wanted then to do a full analysis based on Natal Chart and Solar Returns. You can also check it and apply it to yourself! Please note that I couldn't put more than 30 images in this post, which was inconvenient in a way since I couldn't show more. I tried to take pictures that were a good representation of what JK wore every time. I also chose airport outfits since it is the most popular way to see about JK's fashion style and own fashion choices, other outfits were often chosen by stylists.

Techniques used: Natal Chart + Solar Returns

Placements used: Sun, Rising, Rising's ruler, 1H, MC, Venus, Venus's Ruler, Mars, Stellium for Natal Chart. Rising, Venus, Venus' Ruler, MC sometimes, Mars sometimes for Solar Returns.

Book a private reading: menus ; Q&A ; rules

⋅˚₊ Jungkook's Natal Chart Indicators ₊˚ ⋅

₊˚⊹ Jungkook's Sun is Virgo, and it makes him prefer casual clothing. He also prefers sporty style, clothing you can wear outside and inside, and clothing that are comfortable to move in. Simple, nothing too extravagant. The clothing he often wear are so more comfortable and casual than actually looking luxurious. He often wear jeans too. Colors are also basic ones.

₊˚⊹ Jungkook's Rising sign is Capricorn. JK will look masculine, dominant and a little scary or just distant usually. It makes him so chose clothing that will make him appear older, or he will want to dress a certain way that makes him appear as an actual adult. It makes sense since JK always has been often babied his whole life, he chose a style that is dark, and chose to appear a way to makes sense with his Rising. He wants to tell people through his fashion sense and appearance that he is a grown up, a man, and mostly an adult. He doesn't want people to keep treating him like a baby or a child. He wants people to respect him when they see him. The ruler of the Rising sign is Saturn which is in Aries 3H. Aries here makes sense with his style, his tattoos and mostly that JK wants to have a lot of muscles and wants to look attractive physically, he often takes care of his body shape. The 3H is a Gemini house, rulling the arms and hands, and this is where JK has tattoos. Despite his actual look and desire to appear older, JK will still have that youthful look of his, but his fashion style will so be chosen for him to be treated like a man and not a boy.

₊˚⊹ JK's Venus sign is in Libra, and being its own ruler, JK has indeed a good fashion sense. He cares a lot about how he looks and how the clothings he chooses to wear suit him. He is part of the people who can't go out in clothing they don't like. It doesn't have to be the runway kind of fashion whenever he goes out, but he needs to wear what he likes. Even if his outfits seem most of the time casual and comfortable, it is in fact his style and his fashion sense, and he actually likes this style. It looks like he doesn't care while in fact he does. JK also has a lot of different accessories he wears daily. His Venus is in 9H, he has an appearance that doesn't fit the Korean standards, despite that many other Koreans have tattoos and piercings, it is not considered something well seen in the country. More because JK is an idol. He made a revolutionary move by having so much tattoos, showing them freely. Even with his style.

₊˚⊹ JK's Mars sign is in Scorpio, making a lot of sense with the way he dresses. He looks very good in black and dark clothing. He likes the pull off the "Bad Boy" style and it is actually a good idea since it goes well with his Mars sign. He is very attractive and sexier in this outfits, not because of the style itself, but because it goes well with the placement. Dressing according to its Venus style is important but Mars is also very important since it will make you look good and attractive in the eyes of others. JK before used to dress in a much more casual and comfy style like his Sun sign. It suited him well but ever since he started to dress along his Mars sign, you can see his self confidence is higher. Piercings, showing much more his body shape, dark & black clothing, excellent choices. He owns the mysterious and hot guy style. His Tattoos, despite being his personal choices, actually also goes well with his style.

₊˚⊹ JK's MC is Libra, which represents his reputation. JK has the reputation to have a good fashion sense, he explored different styles, yet he knows how to dress well. He is considered as one of the best members of BTS to dress for airport style for example. He also has a good way to dress usually, and always seems to appear very good looking wherever he goes. Whatever he pulls off will suit him.

₊˚⊹ JK has a 1H & 8H stellium, which makes sense since he always stated that his body and appearance mattered much to him. He is often seen working out, and taking care of his appearance. He wants to look good, he also likes to be praised for how he looks, fashion wise but also just also about his body shape. The 8H stellium is clearly a big indicators about how people see him. JK's Neptune 1H first indicate people see him in a way that is not 100% true, they desire him for how he looks, but not actually him as a person. Having a 8H stellium makes JK appear very desirable for most people. He looks hot, sexy, mysterious, just someone people are obsessed with.

⋅˚₊ Jungkook's Natal Chart Indicators ₊˚ ⋅

જ⁀➴ SRC 2015-2016

₊˚⊹ This year, JK was Gemini Rising. This made him dressed in many different colors, and style. He wasn't afraid to mix colors, and mostly was dressing in a more colorful and joyful way. It was also a year of self discovery fashion wise, as JK sometimes wore black, and sometimes colorful outfits. With the 20° (Scorpio), we can see how JK was very shy about his appearance, his body language in most pictures that year made it obvious he was shy. He may also dressed in a way that made him look normal, basic, not extra to make him stand out. Despite also being young that year (He was 2017 years old), his Gemini rising also makes him dresses in a "childlike" fashion style, meaning he dresses as people his age, or with clothing that made him appear younger.

₊˚⊹ Fashion this year was indeed very colorful for men, it was also a year with simple clothing: a jacket, a skinny jean, a simple t-shirt. And backpacks seemed to be also pretty popular, something JK was often wearing that year. Cargo pants were also an iconic fashion trend that year, and JK didn't miss it. This style was similar to the Skater Boy, often wearing beanies too, pretty popular for men and boys around that year.

₊˚⊹ This year's Venus was Leo 3H, again a Gemini placement. With Leo Venus, Fashion could have been really important for him this year, he may have cared a lot. Being in the 3H, it must have been a way to express himself, maybe expressed his mood of the day.

₊˚⊹ Venus' Ruler is the Sun, being in 4H. He may have wanted to dress very much like Korean's Fashion this year, following trends and not wanting to stand out in his own style much. The Scorpio degree on the Sun also make sense, JK didn't seem to be very confident in his appearance, he so didn't want people to notice him much in his fashion style. What he wore was very simple.

જ⁀➴ SRC 2016-2017

₊˚⊹ For this year, JK was Virgo Rising, his fashion style was clear, neat, he was always very well dressed, every accessories making a perfect sense. He started dressing with neutral colors such as Black, dark colors, white, beige, and also often wore Jeans. Very casual fashion style. The 5° on his rising sign makes him have a good fashion style, it's not only casual, you can see that JK has a big interest in Fashion this year. The way he dresses felt like it actually mattered to him. It also makes him in touch with trends and the fashion world, as the way JK dresses was very similar to the trends of that time, despite JK wearing a more "casual" look.

₊˚⊹ JK's 1H Stellium also explains how he got a glow up this year, his appearance really mattered this year to him. Moreover, the Sun is in there, making it really obvious how important it was. His Fashion style was part of his identity.

₊˚⊹ Venus was in Libra 2H this year, with also the ruler being in its home. It was very obvious JK was really into fashion this year, dressing very well. That year, JK wore a lot of skinny jeans, showing his tights and hips very much. He wore casual yet luxurious outfits, which is very logical to me since the venus is in a Taurus House but also with a Taurus degree.

જ⁀➴ SRC 2017-2018

₊˚⊹ The way I just laugh out loud when I saw his SRC this year. It is just so obvious. This is the year JK started to dress in black mostly, Black and White were his only go to Fashion Style. Even jeans were black. This can be easily explained with his Scorpio Rising this year. JK also often wore a leather Jacker, which is such a Scorpio thing to me. It gives me bad boy style tbh. I don't wanna sound cliché tho. With the Cancer degree on the rising, JK indeed followed fashion Trends from Korea this year, Black was seen often and was a popular color (if I can say color).

₊˚⊹ Venus is once again in Leo this year, in 9H. Fashion style could have been also inspired from foreign lands, where indeed leather jackets was a trend. Having more dark colors on their outfits was something that we could often see. Fashion was also very important this year. JK was indeed popular for his bad boy look he wore. The Libra degree on the Venus made him always have a proper look, always looking very well out and harmonious. Being in 9H makes sense since his Fashion look were often popular when he was at the airport.

₊˚⊹ The Ruler is the Sun in 10H, and the MC being in Leo makes a lot of sense to me. Around those years, JK's fashion sense became very popular and his fashion style was part of his good reputation. He was popular for his fashion sense, the way he wore, but also how his fashion made him appear. People were going crazy and often called JK "hot", "sexy", etc. Coming back to the Scorpio Rising, this can also be explained as to why. That made him indeed appear as sexy, hot, and mysterious. People were obsessed with his look. The MC being in an Aquarius degree makes a lot of sense, JK was very popular for his fashion and his appearance online from this year.

જ⁀➴ SRC 2018-2019

₊˚⊹ This year, JK was Aquarius rising. It was very interesting since to me having Aquarius rising makes us look very unique, avant-garde and maybe even following our own fashion style without caring much about trends. JK this year continued to wore black often. Most of his outfits were that colors. He was often wearing clothings the he liked, not caring much about fashion itself compared the the previous years. He was more into comfortable clothing this year than fashion itself.

₊˚⊹ Fashion this year was actually pretty colorful on the runways. Despite the clothing were also comfortable for men, fashion was still around skinny jeans, simple t-shirts, etc. So JK actually dressed different from most of the fashion trends this year. He was still into fashion, but maybe detached himself from the fashion trends and started to go on a self-journey. He was finally finding his own style.

₊˚⊹ Venus this year was in Libra 8H. The darker color, even just black makes sense since it is in the 8H. JK was seen more often hiding his face, letting his bangs being long, often wearing hats and caps that were almost hiding his face. Fashion was still part of him, and he dressed well according to his body type and his tastes. Moreover, MC this year was in Scorpio, which makes a lot go sense.

જ⁀➴ SRC 2019-2020

₊˚⊹ This year was a brand new beginning for JK as he started to get Tattoos, the first ones on his hands. Funny thing since this year, JK was Gemini rising. And Gemini rules also over the hands but also the arms, and JK also had some more tattoos later in 2020, on the arms.

₊˚⊹ This year, JK was so Gemini Rising with a 9°. Despite Black was still being his go to color, he was wearing clothings with different style. He was also known for his iconic hairstyle this year (the curly hair), that people created the Dora meme with. He was wearing a sporty casual style, with big clothing that made him look tiny. He could wear very casual and good outfits and the next time wear a very casual and sporty outfit. It seemed like he cared and other times he was just wanting to wear more comfortable clothing.

₊˚⊹ Venus this year is in Virgo 4H, his style was very casual, and very everyday style. It was a style which was comfortable and you could wear everyday. The Ruler is in the same sign and house, which adds to the fact JK really wanted it to be comfy and without any extra. He was also wearing a lot of oversized clothing this year again, which add more comfort.

જ⁀➴ SRC 2020-2021

₊˚⊹ For 2020, JK was Leo Rising with Aries degree. JK wasn't wearing much on his heads this year, often wanting to show up with different hairstyles. His Fashion was more "fashionable" than comfortable this year. He often expressed his own style and give more importance to his clothing style. Patterns appeared much more than last year. While JK was always wearing simple clothing before, he showed more patterns from this SRC.

₊˚⊹ The Venus was in Cancer 11H, JK was still wearing comfortable clothings. He was still on finding his own style as the way he was dressing wasn't that seen on the runway. He was using trends in the way he wanted to wear them. For example, the plaid pattern was seen often on runways this year, and JK also wear those, but in a more casual manner, in a more comfortable manner.

₊˚⊹ Since his Venus's ruler is the Moon, it is in Aquarius 6H, comfortable clothing, and preferring to wear his own style. I think it's over these years JK really imposed his own style. He knew he was into comfortable and casual clothing, but I feel like it's around the beginning of 2020's that his fashion style really became his.

જ⁀➴ SRC 2021-2022

₊˚⊹ This year is really iconic to me, it is the years JK's QG's photoshoot went out and it was viral. An icon. His Rising this year was Scorpio 8°, full Scorpio. If you want to know more about the photoshoot, I advise you to take a look because it's the best representation of this rising. This year JK looked mysterious, often once again wearing black and not much patterns. He sometimes wore some but not much. He was mostly in plain black and mostly showing much more his abs and body shapes with his clothing. He was full on the piercings and tattoos. It was truly the bad boy style this year, it also reminds me of the Hongdae Men lol.

₊˚⊹ His Venus was Libra 12H, and I remember that JK's shoes collection was wild this year, people were often posting and discussing about his shoes. Since Pisces/ 12H rules over the feet, it makes a lot of sense. Coming back, indeed JK's sense of fashion was wild, and he was often seen posing for photoshoots. His Leo MC makes a lot of sense.

₊˚⊹ His rising's rulers were Mars (11H) and Pluto (3H), JK's fashion was very popular online this year too, he was still in his own style and not caring much about most of trends, he was wearing what he wanted, and I almost want to say he was the creator of trends. He was versatile, going to comfy to luxurious style. He could pull everything off!

જ⁀➴ SRC 2022-2023

Didn't include 2023-2024 since JK is currently in Military.

₊˚⊹ This year JK was Capricorn Rising. His style was def more dominant. The way he appeared was always was very masculine too, showing much more his skin, abs, and body. Even in photoshoots, he wasn't just trying to show his fashion sense, it was also about the vibe he wanted to give to people. During this SRC, Seven went out and I suggest you to look at the photoshoot of the album... :) Saturn being the Rising's ruler, is in the 1H, making it obvious JK wanted to show a strong appearance, proving to people he is not a child anymore.

₊˚⊹ The Venus was in Leo 7H, JK was wearing a good fashion style still. It was still his iconic look but he looked very attractive because of his good style. JK's fashion this year was less sporty and comfy, it was more about the actual fashion. He was wearing jeans and casual attire yet it was similar to the SRC 2016-2017. His clothing and fashion were really well put together and accessories were often seen on him. Not only his piercings, but necklaces and beanies too.

₊˚⊹ Venus ruler is the Sun which is in 8H,JK had a mysterious, sexy and hot aura once again this year. He was showing more his body and even while working he chose a style that looked like that. He also started to do a photoshoot for Calvin Klein this year, which was iconic to me. It was the first time people were actually seeing JK's abs. The photoshoot shows JK's persona, as a dark bad boy (he loves that style). It actually suits the MC, his reputation was someone hot, sexy and mostly a man that was really desired.

Thank you for reading!

back to index ; ask ; request ; rules

[dingoat]

OC asks 8 and 12 from Appearance, 14 from Community, and 9 from hobbies for Ulfran?

8: Does your character have a physical trait that they’re known for?

Oooh! Once was, it would have been his eyes. Originally deep, soft brown, at some point during his career of living undercover as a Sith they changed, but not in the typical way. He had to do some fairly sketchy things and use the Force in cruel and damaging ways to maintain his cover more than once, but because he always managed to keep his purpose and intentions pure, the Force left its mark on him a little differently. Rather than winding up with yellowed Sith eyes, his became an odd, reflective silver-white; he always passed it off as a side effect of one of the more dangerous arcane artifacts he'd been investigating.

12: Has your character gone through major stylistic or physical changes?

Well this goes very nicely hand-in-hand with the first question hahaha! Ulfran has wound up having a reasonably significant role in both of Ahuska's canons, and his path has diverged enough in each to become physically distinct. In the original, he wound up finally abandoning his undercover post, and though he couldn't find it in himself to rejoin the Jedi Order proper, he has made a conscious effort to atone for the compromises he had to make in his decades posing as a Sith and reconnect with everything he was raised to believe. He's become a mentor to Nela (Crow and Ahuska's kid), and in the process discovered a new lightsaber crystal for himself (silver-white), started dressing in more humble robes, and most significantly, some of his original colour returning to his eyes.

In werewolf au, meanwhile, heeee's sort of fallen off the deep end, abandoned the Order in full and become a fully fledged Sith Lord. He's never exactly been a man of fashion but he definitely leans into the aesthetic a little more and the way he carries himself is completely different; fierce and arrogant. His eyes took on the yellow Sith glow when he slayed his Sith 'master' in a fit of passion, and recently has become even more visibly marked by the dark. He thought he could own his choices completely and never look back, but recent events have him struggling and he pretty desperately needs some help. (Unfortunately Ahuska would much rather just bite his face off at the moment.)

14: Who would your character say knows them best?

Ooof, for original mode Ulfran this would probably go to Lyrisal (written by @koboldgirl) - aka, his best friend from his youth to early adulthood, who he's finally reunited with after abandoning his post. They still almost certainly have a lot to catch up on, but he trusts her above anyone else and would confide in her with ease. For Evil Ulfran though, this is a tough one. ( @askshivanulegacy 's) Cipher Thirteen has probably been around for more of Ulfran's pivotal moments than anyone else in recent years, but between Ulfran's 'I don't have to explain myself to you' attitude, and Thirteen's combination of Sith-worship and refusal to so much as think about anything to do with the Force, there's a lot between them that gets missed. Ulfran's original Jedi Master, Antinea Zau, who's just shown up to get her arm bitten off by a werewolf make things complicated and a little extra angsty, might still be the one who knows him better than any other.

9: What is a topic your character would be excited to talk about?

Aaaahhhahaa, actually, genuinely excited? Tombs. Tombs containing ancient, mysterious, forbidden things. Shared stories about tomb-raiding and underground exploits and ghosts. Appeasing and outsmarting spirits. Unlocking old puzzles, deciphering ancient texts, piecing together maps, rediscovery. From a very early age this was his passion, it became his life's work, even if the Order trained him and carefully positioned him to be able to root out and contain/destroy the absolute worst items before the Empire could get their hands on them. He still adores this stuff, but has a flat total of zero people he can share it with these days, and it would probably do him a great big giant world of good if he had even a single someone.

[ieatguobarou]

How I spend a Day as Atelier Vogue Model.

a disclaimer. all activities below will contain lots of ooc things that aren’t related to the real winter of aespa. created by michiala for roleplayer purposes only, thank you for understanding.

06.00 AM

Morning light pours through my window, waking me to the soft sounds of the city. It’s 6:30 AM, and today’s agenda is a full-day beauty brand photoshoot—a fusion of glamour and discipline. I slip into my morning routine with a focus on skin prep. Hydration is key, so after a tall glass of water, I start my skincare regimen: cleanser, toner, a hydrating serum, and sunscreen. Today is all about radiance, so my skin must glow even before the makeup touches it.

8.00 AM

Maintaining physical health is crucial, so I begin with a 45-minute Pilates session. It helps tone my body and maintain that long, lean look essential for today’s shoot. Post-workout, a light breakfast of avocado toast, poached eggs, and a green smoothie fuels me for the long day ahead.

9.30 AM

I arrive at the studio for the shoot—a spacious, well-lit atelier in the heart of the city. The creative team is already bustling around, prepping the set for the beauty brand campaign. I greet the team—photographers, makeup artists, stylists—with a quick but sincere hello. I head straight to the dressing area where today’s look will be crafted.

10.00 AM

The next two hours are all about transformation. For this campaign, the theme is ‘timeless elegance with a modern edge,’ so the makeup is bold yet understated, focusing on luminous skin and a bold lip. The makeup artist starts by giving me a flawless base—hydrated, dewy skin is the canvas. Then comes the contouring, defining cheekbones and jawline, before we finish with a signature lipstick from the beauty brand we’re shooting for. Meanwhile, my hair is being styled into sleek waves that frame my face and complement the overall aesthetic. The process is relaxing and provides a moment of stillness before the action begins.

12.00 PM

I slip into the carefully curated outfits for the shoot. Today’s wardrobe aligns perfectly with the brand’s identity: minimalist, luxurious, and effortlessly chic. Each look is paired with jewelry and accessories that enhance the beauty theme—delicate pieces that highlight my features without overpowering them.

1.00 PM

Lunch is a quick affair, but it’s mindful—usually a light salad with lean protein. The key is to stay energized without feeling too full. On set, I need to be light on my feet and ready for quick outfit changes and multiple takes.

1.30 PM

Now the real work begins. The set is glamorous, with large mirrors and diffused lighting that reflects the beauty of the products being highlighted. The photographer directs me through different poses—some soft and dreamy, others bold and fierce. The key is to convey the message of the brand through subtle expressions and movements. It’s all about the eyes, the lips, and the overall aura of confidence and beauty.

For each shot, adjustments are made. The lighting team tweaks angles, the makeup artist touches up between takes, and the stylist ensures every fold of the fabric is in place. It’s a collaboration of experts, all working in harmony to create the perfect shot.

4.00 PM

As the shoot comes to an end, we review some of the images to ensure the vision has been captured. There’s a sense of satisfaction when the team knows they’ve nailed the look. Once the final shots are taken, I change out of my wardrobe and slip into something comfortable.

5.00 PM

After leaving the studio, it’s time to wind down. I head home and focus on recovering from the day’s demands—first, I remove all traces of makeup with a deep cleanse and hydrating mask to restore my skin. A quick stretch session helps ease any tension from hours of posing.

[tanadrin]

This isn’t a systematic measure by any means, but there are a couple of historical moments (like the decline of child sacrifice in the ancient eastern mediterranean) that make me think pacifism and egalitarianism may have declined in a continuous way in at least some times and some places over many centuries even in the axial age; but it’s hard to know if that’s because the starting point was unusually violent (plenty of cultures never developed a tradition of child-sacrifice after all!), or if that change is reflective of some deeper force.

I do think that especially in your cited example of the Norse sagas, our modern approach to psychological realism in narrative may be misleading. The sagas are an early and excellent example of European prose literature, but they predate the stylistic innovation of trying to closely depict the internal psychological processes of characters by centuries. Which is not to say that the ancient Norse didn’t think those processes existed--there’s actually a pretty rich ancient Germanic vocabulary of the psyche, and in a lot of ancient north European literature, especially in heightened epic modes like the sagas or the Táin Bó Cúailnge, moments of great emotional stress will be depicted as manifesting physically and externally. But what you don’t get is a running commentary on characters’ thoughts.

So for example, in Njal’s Saga, which is a story of destructive cycles of revenge that culimate in the titular Njal being burned in his house (a monstrous crime in ancient Iceland), and is followed with Kári’s bloody killing spree, that only ends when Kári and Flosi, the last of the burners, finally set aside their commitment to violence.

The next summer Kari prepared to go to Iceland. Skeggi gave him a cargo vessel, and there were eighteen of them on board. They finished their preparations late, but put out to sea. They had a long passage, but at last they reached the promontory Ingolshofdi, and there the ship was shattered into pieces; their lives, however, were spared.

The snow was falling thickly. Kari’s men asked him what they were to do, and he said that it was his plan to go to Svinafell and put Flosi’s magnanimity to the test. They walked to Svinafell through the snowstorm.

Flosi was in the main room. He recognized Kari at once and jumped up to meet him and kissed him, and then placed him in the high seat by his side. He invited Kari to stay there for the winter. Kari accepted.

They made a full reconciliation. Flosi gave Kari the hand of his brother’s daughter, Hildigunn, who had been the wife of Hoskuld the Godi of Hvitanes. They lived at Breida to begin with.

This passage describes events in the terse style of the sagas, but emotionally it’s hugely important! The cycles of violence in the story are driven by lots of very strong emotions--anger and grief and shame--and the setting aside of violence at the end is the only thing that can possibly quell these extremely destructive forces. Moreover, the saga was being penned at a time when because of its feuding-culture and despite Christianization Iceland was being overwhelmed by violence, and this very Christian example of reconciliation could be read as an exhortation to the Icelanders of the Sturlung era to put aside their weapons before the violence overwhelms their society, as it did in this story of their ancestors.

So I think the ancient Icelanders were very conscious of the horrors of violence. I think all ancient peoples have tended to be, even if they live in very violent societies. I just think they had different ways of trying to cope with that horror and bring meaning to it. For the author of Njal’s saga, this meant an exhortation to peace. For other writers in other cultures, it has meant trying to justify that violence.

Brett Devereaux makes the point that we really have nothing like PTSD in the accounts of soldiers of the ancient world, and it’s hard to pin down why, but it might have something to do with the social reception of the violence in warfare of the ancient world. We certainly understand violence in very different ways in our society, expecting it of some jobs (soldier) while disdaining it generally. And that doesn’t mean violence wasn’t traumatizing anciently, or didn’t produce distress in other ways--indeed, you do not have laws against killing in the first place if you think it’s 100% fine and dandy. But I mention this just to say that although the exact attitude toward violence in ancient texts isn’t always immediately apparent to us, especially when the underlying stylistic conventions are so different, I think there is a lot of similarity that it’s easy to overlook because of unfamiliarity.

Violence absolutely is a tragedy in many of the sagas--in Nja’s saga, it is the central tragedy, a vortex of destruction that eradicates whole families and paralyzes the legal order which is meant, among other things, to try to restrain it--even as it is also depicted as common or even inevitable.

(But it wasn’t inevitable; after all, modern Iceland is not a depopulated rock left barren after the last farmer put an axe in his rival’s skull; like many honor cultures struggling with cycles of violence, it eventually abandoned its honor culture rather than see itself be destroyed, invited an outside authority to impose order where the Althing couldn’t, and after spending several centuries as a marginal fishing and farming economy on Europe’s periphery it is nowadays a small but relatively prosperous Scandinavian social democracy. That, too, I think is instructive: it is not at all rare, even under the most difficult and apparently intractable social conditions, for people to look at each other and go, “You know what? The status quo sucks ass, so let’s stop doing that and start doing something better instead.”)

So, many people take for granted that there has been a huge increase in the prevalence of egalitarian and pacifistic ideals over the last few centuries. I don't actually know if this is true. It certainly looks true on shorter timescales, e.g. the world seems to me more egalitarian today than it was 1000 years ago, but I'm really not sure how we'd evaluate it on longer timescales. Are we more egalitarian on average than 20,000 years ago? I have no idea. I think it's clear from the archeological evidence, though, that society is much less violent than it was 20,000 ago, so at least that gain can be sort of confidently claimed.

And the question, then, is... why? My first pass at an answer would be technology; because of technology we live lives less governed by fear an want, and thus can afford to be kinder to one another. We have material security that we once lacked, and in light of this security, fiercely guarding what little we have is less necessary. Or something in that vicinity. But I think there's also possibly another effect, that of mass trauma. I believe @tanadrin suggested this in a post somewhere. If you're living in a world where 4/5 of your siblings died in childhood, where people around you are constantly at risk of death by a simply infection or the common cold, where the majority of your own children will likely die... I think that's likely to really mess you up, by modern standards. Make you far less sensitive to death and suffering—because, you know, you have to be.

Anyway, I think this is reflected in the way many historical texts talk so cavalierly about death and killing. To me, and to I think a lot of people today, losing someone we care about is unimaginably painful. But if you listen to the way death is talked about in e.g. the Norse sagas, it's discussed as a practical inconvenience, a financial burden, an affront to the ego. But a tragedy? Almost never. Because, I suspect, you can't consider something a tragedy if it's happened to you time and time again, and also to everyone you know and everyone you've every heard about forever. At that points, it's just life.

I have two points here. One is that this is a parable against falling into the naturalistic fallacy. There are many struggles that we today consider "just a part of life", that people are reflexively dismissive of trying to alleviate with technology. But for most of human history, this same thing could be said of massive child mortality. Now that we have the benefit, at least in the developed world, or not having to deal with that, we can recognize it for the horrific tragedy that it was. We can recognize it for the horribly traumatic thing that it was, this thing that filled everyone's life with needless suffering for centuries upon centuries. When medical technology allows us to e.g. prevent natural aging, I am nearly certain we will look back on it the same way. We will wonder "how did they all get by, knowing they had so little time on Earth, knowing the approximate age of their own death?" And the answer will be twofold: "they just did" and "they really didn't".

The other point is that this all suggests against the narrative that suffering makes one virtuous. I think the reality, as hard a pill as it may be to swallow, is nearly the opposite: comfort and luxury make people more virtuous. The greatest source of hate and anger in the world, I strongly suspect, is fear, and being free from fear allows one to be free from hate and anger in a way that the fearful are going to have a far harder time doing. As far as it goes, through the various ups and downs in my own life, this has been my experience to a tee. I think @balioc suggested something like this somewhere, and while I think they went a bit too far (I have definitely received some benefits to virtue from the harder times in my life, namely a strongly increased desire to ameliorate similar conditions for others), I think the gist of their idea ("struggle often makes you a worse person") is pretty accurate. It's not always true, but it certainly seems to be true a fair amount of the time.

I suspect that the idea that luxury corrupts is mostly a selection effect: that is, in a harshly competitive society, the people most able to win luxury for themselves are likely to be the most ruthless. So it appears that the luxury is causing the evil, when in reality the causality is exactly opposite. At least, that would be my guess.

Overall this paints a rather grim picture of the human experience. Suffering makes us less kind, most of us are condemned to suffering, and those most likely to escape it are those who were least kind to begin with. And I'd really like to hear from anyone who's had a different experience, who feels they're a better person for the hardships in their life, because that has really not been mine.

I don't know where I'm going with this. A dose of pessimism to cut the usual utopian-optimism of this blog. I suppose I think these features of the human condition are fundamentally escapable, and that's cause to feel good. But in order to escape our problems we first have to understand them, so, here's been one attempt to do that.

[justmaybee]

The Phantom’s New Clothes

(Alternatively: ‘I Like Ya Fit, G!’)

A/N: Yes, the spam is gonna end in a dumb fic. No, I’m not confident in posting it. But honestly? I don’t think I’ll ever be when it comes to Fling Posse. So I’m doing it anyways! Because Gen looks like a whole prince, and if I don’t start somewhere I’ll never be able to write them!

Summary: Fling Posse photo shoot time! ~ ☆ and Dice has taken a special interest in Gentaro’s outfit for the day….

Of the many things required by divisions during battle season, one ‘checkpoint’—so to speak—is the creation of promotional materials. A Chuohku-designated event, ‘asked’ of the representative teams from each district.

This is Fling Posse’s second time representing Shibuya, so Gentaro is more or less acquainted with the roadmap ahead of them. And as a group member—and friend—of one Ramuda Amemura, he’s quite used to the mild discomfort of modeling clothes far outside his comfort zone.

Though it had at first been a point of contention in the group—due to some very polarized creative decisions—Gentaro has grown into his role, just a bit. He may never go so far as to call himself a ‘model,’ but he’s done much stranger tasks for the sake of his posse.

Thankfully, this shoot leans decidedly into Gentaro’s style of choice. Unlike Ramuda’s last artistic venture, which had involved a bright yellow top in an aquarium of all settings, this outfit could be described as almost tame in comparison.

The blouse is a loose and flowing white number, tucked into a similar style of black pants. A little tighter to his waist than he’d prefer, but the fabric is soft and stretches down to his ankle—for the most part—so it’ll do. The addition of some colored cords to secure an ash grey cape around his shoulders finishes the look, and Gentaro hums an appreciative note when Ramuda shows him the full look in a mirror.

Ramuda seemed pleased, smoothing out Gentaro’s cape and tucking stubborn hairs back into place before flashing him a grin and bouncing off to help Dice finish dressing.

It’s comfortable, fashionable, and well-suited to his tastes. Gentaro must say, it’s one of his favorite designs from Ramuda so far.

That being said—there’s…one small thing he could recommend be changed.

It doesn’t occur to him until the picture taking is about to begin.

———

“Ya think Ramuda will let me keep it?” Dice asks, impish grin flashing his canine. He pops the collar, striking small poses as the dressing room around them clears out. Gentaro humors him.

He takes his time, stepping forward from behind Dice, peering over his shoulder at their shared reflection. His hand comes to rest on his chin, scrutinizing the tropical pattern with a deliberate trail of the eyes. He continues until Dice’s gaze lowers, until his hands start fidgeting in front of him.

Gentaro finally breaks with a smile, resting his chin on Dice’s shoulder. He can feel the way Dice sags with relief.

“It’s very likely that he will,” Gentaro muses. “This outfit was made specifically for you, and I’m not sure anyone else would wear it willingly.”

Dice nods in a small repetitive motion, absentmindedly checking his reflection in the mirror. The moment he comes to recognize Gentaro’s backhanded confirmation is both visible and audible. His body jolting upright with a pitchy ‘hey!’ tossed back over his shoulder. Gentaro hides a smile behind his hand.

“Oh, Dice. There’s no need to be insecure,” He coos. “From what I’ve heard, sustainable fashion is on the rise! This set may have been a curtain at some point, but your confidence in it is very admirable.”

Dice has that tight-lipped smile on, the one that pushes his cheeks up and makes his squinty faux-glare even more endearing. It says, ‘I know I’m being made fun of,’ but he continues to endure it anyways. Because it makes Gentaro smile.

Still, he’s come a long way since the early days of Fling Posse, and he won’t take things lying down if he can help it. So he sneaks his hand behind him, aiming a light pinch to Gentaro’s side; his comeback of choice since learning of Gentaro’s…sensitivity.

Unlike those recent times, Gentaro quickly back steps, pulling his head off Dice’s shoulder to smother a gasp behind a well-timed fist. Dice blinks, hand still hovering behind him in the empty air where Gentaro once stood.

Then he spins around; the biggest, toothy grin on his face.

Gentaro can feel the butterflies slowly flutter to life in his stomach. His free arm moves subconsciously, to wrap around his front and hide his torso. The longer they hold eye contact, the more his face begins to burn.

And then the photographer can be heard, calling Dice for photos.

They stay in place, gazes locked for a moment longer; then Dice shoots him a wink and jogs off.

Gentaro breathes a shaky sigh, rubbing away the phantom touch.

———

So yes, while it was obvious the outfit had less layers than Gentaro was accustomed to, he hadn’t realized just how much thinner the layers he wore were.

Photo shoots don’t have a lot of downtime, in his experience. There’s always group shots, touch ups, individual shots. While it’s undoubtedly ‘Posse Time’—as Ramuda would put it—he doesn’t get more than a passing word to either of his group mates at any one time.

Which make the times he runs into Dice all the more memorable.

Slipping past one another in the hallway when it’s Gentaro’s turn for solo shots. Gentaro feels a distinct skittering of nails over his flank. It has him stumbling, tripping on his own feet. He can hear Dice laugh as he straightens up and continues walking.

Getting his hair touched up, making sure his pesky bangs stay out of his face. Dice comes to watch for a while, leaving Gentaro with a quick pinch either side of his waist. He jolts so hard, the hair on his left side falls out of place. He mumbles an apology to the poor stylist, eyeing Dice’s retreating smile in the mirror.

In a moment to himself, Gentaro tries to retuck his blouse, smooth out the uneven bunching of ruffles. He doesn’t notice when Dice slips behind him, when he grips onto Gentaro’s hips—too easily accessible through these pants—and squeezes. Gentaro yelps, drops to a crouch to dislodge the ticklish pulses. When he turns with narrowed-eyes, he finds himself alone.

Although Dice has been able to startle a reaction out of him several times today, calling these occurrences ‘uncommon’ would be nothing short of a lie. In his extended stay at Gentaro’s apartment, Dice has been very — thorough in his exploits of Gentaro’s unending sensitivity. One could say that once he got a reaction, he couldn’t will himself to stop.

Also a lie. Well, a half-truth to be more precise.

While it had been Dice’s curiosity and willingness to take a chance that led to the discovery, he didn’t act on his newfound information much at all. While a very physically affectionate lover, he would never go so far as to touch Gentaro in a way that caused discomfort or distress.

No, absolutely not. And so despite many implicit hints and invitations, Gentaro found himself having to get very explicit.

He didn’t dislike Dice’s teasing touch.

No, quite the opposite actually.

It was flustering to a degree Gentaro couldn’t imagine, but…Dice got the message.

He got it loud and clear, and now here they are.

In a game of cat and mouse; Gentaro’s eyes darting toward every movement, hands enveloping his torso at the slightest noise. The fabric on his skin is light, breathable, and silky to the touch; impossible to ignore. His stomach swoops nervously, broiling with anticipation—borderline excitement.

Oh, the monster he’s created.

———

After two hours of lights, cameras, make up, hair, and such; things are finally starting to wrap up.

Gentaro can see the end’s approach easily due to experience. It always comes in the form of Ramuda’s name. Called out by a weary photographer and followed in turn by their leader’s sing-song reply, skipping happily out of the dressing room and into the limelight.

Ramuda’s solo shots are always saved for the end. One must save the best for last, of course.

That being so, it would be a good idea to begin making preparations to leave.

Gentaro can feel the pinpricks in his legs as he slides them off the dressing room couch, uncurling from his seated position. He kicks out, pointing his toes in a stretch, arching his back and spine. The relief pushes a quiet sigh from his lips, leaves him sagging back into the cushions for a moment, suddenly drained.

Time spent in the presence of others can already be tiring, but the looming eyes of Chuohku make things far more intense. Gentaro can find peace in having his posse with him, but the sooner he can get these clothes folded, the sooner he gets his regular attire back—the sooner he’ll be home and out from under the Party’s prying gaze.

It takes Gentaro a few attempts to rise to his feet. His center of balance equals out as Dice makes his way into the room. The timing is very lucky, Gentaro gets barely a greeting out before his arm is in Dice’s hold. Before he’s swung around, in a blur of cobalt blue and floral print.

His back hits the wall with a dull thud. Not hard enough to hurt—Dice would never—but enough to have his breath catch in his throat. The way Dice leans into Gentaro’s personal space—hand still firmly gripped around his wrist, pinning it to the wall beside his head—makes getting air back a bit difficult.

“Hey Gen,” Dice breathes, a soft smile on his lips that completely contradicts the situation, and makes Gentaro melt all the more for it.

“Hello, Dice.” Gentaro’s hesitation is hardly noticeable.

“Whatcha up to?”

It’s so casual — the way Dice speaks, despite their position which has Gentaro’s brain buzzing like radio static. Strangely, it’s somewhat placating, in a way.

“Well — I’d intended on tidying up while Ramuda’s away…” Gentaro musters up a teasing smile, a lighthearted jab. “If you’re attempting to have me fold your clothes for you, I’m afraid I’ll have to stop you right there—”

Dice laughs. The sound does strange things to Gentaro’s heartbeat. Difficult to miss while it thrums so vividly in his ears.

“No, not that.” Dice smiles. Gentaro can’t help but return it.

“But could I—uh—do one thing? Before you go?”

Gentaro can take a fairly good guess at what Dice is referring to.

He shuffles, wrist rotating the smallest bit in Dice’s hold. His grip is strong, warm, and noticeably firm. Dice hasn’t moved, not an inch from his close lean over Gentaro, but he’s suddenly all that Gentaro can see, smell, feel.

He’s trapped.

It’s invigorating.

Gentaro is somewhat proud of the light, careless hum he gets out. A flippant roll of the eyes before his gaze meets Dice’s.

“Oh fine, if you must.”

Dice laughs again. Gentaro feels that familiar swooping sensation.

“I’ve been dyin’ to do this all day.”

Despite the unaffected air Gentaro puts off, his body is already tensed up in wait. Free hand poised to the side, ready to fend off Dice’s experienced fingers. His waist, hips, stomach; they’re all compromised in this outfit, leaving him more vulnerable than even his home loungewear would allow. It’s anyone’s guess as to where Dice may strike.

Which makes it extra shocking when Dice suddenly drops Gentaro’s wrist. When he slips both hands, with a pre-planned speed, into the gaps of Gentaro’s billowing sleeves and under his outstretched arms.

Gentaro is able to clamp his lips together before Dice’s fingers make contact. It makes muffling his surprised shout marginally easier. The same can’t be said for his limbs.

Before he can even think about it, Dice has found his rhythm, spidering feather-light strokes beneath his arms. His fingertips are gentle, calloused, and so very effective in their unpredictable movements.

Gentaro’s shoulders lock up. He chokes back the bubbling wave of laughter, then clamps his arms down in attempted self-defense.

Immediately after, his spine snaps off the wall. Thrusting his torso flush against Dice, leaning in to cover him. He tosses his head back, a squeaky cry pathetically stifled as the feelings grow exponentially.

It takes all of Gentaro’s remaining brainpower to lessen the pressure of his arms against his sides, to bring his elbows a centimeter out from his waist. Because when he tries blocking Dice’s fingers—

Gentaro bites his lip against a particularly loud squeal; Dice using one finger on each hand to vibrate into the center of each hollow. Oh, please.

—when he tries to guard himself, he just pushes Dice’s fingers deeper.

“Mph! D-Dice!”

It’s debilitating. Dice rarely has access to his bare skin in most situations, but this may very well be a first for both of them. The skittering touch under his arms has Gentaro squirming, shaking. Every time his arms twitch down to stop it, he’s stuck muffling louder laughter at the added pressure he’s made for himself.

It’s all Gentaro can do to hold as still as possible; minimize the jerky, impulsive movements. But it’s so hard, and he’s quickly losing the battle with his volume as well.

What were once small, nondescript sounds are now squeaking—almost whining—noises. As Dice continues his careful track, sweeping soft fingers around and around and around each twitching hollow.

It takes Dice vocalizing aloud to get Gentaro to lift his head from the wall, blink one teary eye open and get a look at him.

Dice is smiling sweetly—no doubt a much nicer look than the hot flush and wobbly smile Gentaro’s trying to control—with his head tilted to the side. It leaves his neck and shoulder open, right at Gentaro’s head level.

He takes the invitation for what it is.

Gentaro quickly buries his face into the side of Dice’s neck. If he had the mind to think and the hindsight to see, he might have considered if this was well-meant aid or a well-sprung trap. It really depends how much credit Gentaro decides to give Dice. His scheming side is somewhat lacking.

Either way, it makes things much more manageable, and far less embarrassing when Dice’s fingertips turn to nails and Gentaro finally breaks, spilling surprised giggles into the other’s skin.

“Dihihice! What—whahat are you—ahahahaha! Wait! Th-that isn’t fahahahahahair!”

Dice had never kept his nails long before, not for so long as Gentaro has known him. He had no use for them, and it was much easier to keep clean with nails as short as can be. But he’s taken to growing them out, just a tad, for…special situations.

Situations where Gentaro is foolish, careless. Usually in the comfort of his own home, in clothes that make it too easy for Dice. To touch, caress. Warm hands over soft skin that finds another’s touch one part foreign to ten parts addictive.

Situations where the small scratch of a nail can amp the feeling of a tingle to a spark.

“Dihice, pl-plehease. I—aha! Oh no, oh pleheheHEHEHEASE!”

It’s so much easier to hide; in the warm, familiar grip of Dice’s embrace. Where he can smother his keening laughter and sudden gasps. No care in the world for his pink cheeks and ruffled hair, so embarrassingly genuine after the painstaking process of making him ‘modelesque.’

Where all he has to focus on is the rippling movement, scratching up and down the dips beneath his arms. A constant, offset graze on hypersensitive skin; gentle as can be but more than enough to drive Gentaro past the point of composure.

All too quickly, Gentaro feels his knees go weak. His back slips down the wall a fraction, hands gripping onto Dice reflexively.

Dice responds in kind, keeping him stable, then going the extra step forward. Literally.

He steps until there’s no space between them. Until Gentaro can be held up with no need for his own legs; just the cool, sturdy wall behind him and Dice’s chest against his own. He’s surrounded by Dice’s warmth, by his scent. It’s been only minutes, but Gentaro is panting for breath.

“Hey,” Dice mutters, softly, once Gentaro can focus on him. He tugs his hand free, chuckling along to the author’s stray giggle, before reaching up to cup his cheek. His thumb strokes habitually, eyes staring deep into Gentaro’s — searching. Always searching. Making sure he’s okay.

And he is. Better than okay. That’s not a lie, it can’t be, and the way Gentaro narrows his eyes, sends a challenging smirk Dice’s way — makes that abundantly clear. Dice drops his gaze, laughing to himself. Then he straightens up, thumbs the moisture from the side of Gentaro’s face.

“As I was saying…” Dice trails, locking eyes with Gentaro as he speaks. Watching the way they widen, lips pressing together, when his remaining hand flexes.

“I’m not done with you yet.”

[henshengs]

Hunger Games AU, part 3

Warning that this part gets a lot darker. Specific content warning for disassociation and violence. But hey, the third corner of our love triangle’s finally here!

part one

part two

His prep team is impressed with him, with his smooth skin and soft long hair and rounded nails. They wash and trim his hair and paint his face and exclaim over his beauty, and Meng Yao focuses on breathing, on breathing and drifting away from his body because control is everything but sometimes the only way to maintain a shred of it is to let go, to not be present. He smiles at them, his automatic smile, his mother’s smile, his servant’s smile, his whore’s smile, and they hook their fingers into his dimples and tell him he is so pretty, such an interesting change from Chifeng-zun.

He knew that this was coming. He reminds himself that he would sacrifice far more, to get what he wants. That he will in all likelihood have to sacrifice everything, before the end. He lies on a pallet and its softness and comfort leave him horrifically vulnerable. He lies there and he is not in Nightless City and he is not in Yunmeng. He is nowhere, he tells himself. He is no one.

They give him a gray robe to wear that is soft and warm, and he wraps himself in it, and he is left alone for an entire luxurious minute before his stylist enters. She is a sharp woman, professional, and she looks him up and down like a cattle broker examining a potential purchase.

“I wasn’t expecting a Nie competitor like you, but I’ve had a few hours to adjust,” she tells him frankly. “The girl will be echoing Chifeng-zun. Beast head pauldrons, powerful silhouette, platforms in her shoes. For you we’ll be going for a contrast. Feminine, delicate, but still dangerous. Seductive.”

It’s what he’s been expecting to hear- what he’s even been hoping to hear, because it’s something he can work with- but it still hits him with a wave of nausea and panic. He breathes through it. Nods. He should be establishing a rapport with her- cajoling her into revealing information about the political situation inside Qishan- but instead he’s useless, crippled by his fears.

“Well,” she says. “I already knew from the cameras that you could do wide-eyed. Can you give me something with a bit more spice?”

Meng Yao breathes out, and hears his heartbeat thud in his ears. Then he slides a sly smile onto his face. Tilts his head up slowly, looks sidelong through his lashes.

“Very good,” the stylist says approvingly.

They paint his face with white powders, and paint his lips with red rouge as dark as dried blood. They wrap him in tight robes of dark gray, with snakeskin panels, and they take out the braid Nie Huaisang plaited that morning and redo it coiled tighter against his topknot. When they show him a mirror he’s terrified he’ll see his mother’s face in it. To his relief he doesn’t. His mother always played the role of the refined noble lady, a pearl cast into the mud. She was never an alluringly dangerous seductress.

The most disturbing part is he almost likes it. The face in the mirror is a mask, but it’s a mask that won’t be expected to bow and scrape and meekly accept abuse. In that sense it’s a better mask than the one he wears in Qinghe.

Meng Yao also likes the expression on Nie Mingjue’s face when he barges into the room. It’s half rage and half desire, and the combination makes Meng Yao’s heart race. But then he remembers that this mask is not his creation, that it is not meant to serve him.

Too bad. He’ll take it and make it his own. That’s better than wanting to peel off his own skin.

“What are you doing with him,” Nie Mingjue growls.

The stylist, apparently a brave woman, glares at him. “Making him desirable,” she says. “It’s his best chance at winning. You say he’s not high in cultivation or physical aptitude.”

Meng Yao feels his cheeks burn, though it’s the honest truth.

“People will sponsor him because they want the pretty one to win,” the stylist says. “I guarantee it. And sponsors are his only chance in the arena.”

They aren’t. But Meng Yao isn’t going to let anyone know that until he has to.

“You never needed to do this to me,” Mingjue says angrily.

“I made everyone afraid of you,” the stylist says. “They liked that. People like being a little afraid of things that can’t really hurt them. But they like being aroused even more.”

“Nie-zongzhu,” Meng Yao says quickly. He reaches out and puts his hand lightly on Mingjue’s arm, looking up at him through his lashes. “I don’t mind.”

“You should,” Nie Mingjue says, snorting. “You shouldn’t let yourself get taken advantage of like this.”

She’s helping me, Meng Yao wants to shout, which is more than you’ve done so far. Instead he smiles, not the smile he will use tonight at the parade but the nervous smile he uses as punctuation.

“You trusted me with your look, last year, and you won,” the stylist says coaxingly. “Trust me now. You want him to survive this, don’t you?”

Nie Mingjue grunts. Meng Yao can see, on his face, the great weight that he is wrestling with. The reality it will break him to accept: that doing everything in his power to help Meng Yao win will mean leaving Zonghui to die. Of course this breaks him; he’s a man of honor, that’s what Meng Yao has always- what Meng Yao admires about him. But right now Meng Yao wants to scream at him, beg him to choose me, tell me you want me to win, tell me I should kill everyone if it brings me back to you.

Mingjue says nothing.

Zonghui looks good, when they’re both hustled into the swooping glass elevator together. Meng Yao allows himself a moment to be impressed. He and Zonghui are about the same height and almost the same shape, but the team has managed to make her look bulky, strong, intimidating, the muscles of the Qinghe beast where Meng Yao is the claws. The Red Blade Master wore shades of gray, as Meng Yao does now; Zonghui is dressed in black, and it gives her an extra edge, makes up a little bit for the killing aura she lacks. Her face is stony, cold as ice. Meng Yao practices his smile in the dark reflection of the elevator glass. Outside the night is just a blur of colors as the elevator slides down.

At the bottom of the pavilion, in a dark garage that stinks of oil and manure, the carriages wait. Meng Yao has not seen horses this close before; the Nies keep some, as one of their many traditions, but they’re purely ceremonial and Meng Yao’s duties never brought him close to the stables. The horses that will pull the Qinghe carriage are black as Zonghui’s leather and huge, monstrously powerful-looking beasts. They are beautiful. He has a frivolous and inappropriate momentary desire to get closer, to stroke their smooth skin and braided manes. He folds his hands across his stomach and looks around, instead, squinting into a hot draft blowing from somewhere. The lighting is low in the garage, and most of the illumination comes from the burning torches affixed to the carriages. Most of the other sects’ carriages have already exited the pavilion garage and joined the parade. In front of the Qinghe carriage, he can see the Jiang one, and something about it grabs at his attention. It’s hard to tell in the colorless dark world of the garage, but one silhouette is very pale and the other very dark, with a blood red streak of color. The figures are clinging to each other, and that makes him uncomfortable enough to turn away and look behind him.

And he feels his eyes widen and his jaw go slack, because after Qinghe comes Lan, he knew this, but he didn’t expect to see-

In the darkness it’s hard to make out details, but the Lan carriage looks as beautifully wrought as any other year. The figures being forced onto it, however, are unusual in the extreme. They’re both very tall; this is apparent even though one of them is clearly limping, moving with the stiff control of someone in intense pain. Despite the injury, both move with a sense of dignity and command that screams at Meng Yao to pay attention.

And his instinct is right, because behind him he hears a hoarse, “Xichen?!”

Meng Yao lunges for Nie Mingjue, but he’s brushed off like one would bat away a fly. The Wen disciples prodding the Lan competitors (prisoners, Meng Yao’s brain insists, as though they’re not all prisoners), are not so easily pushed aside. They have electroshock weapons. They have batons. Baxia has been chained in a locked box ever since Nie Mingjue exited the competition arena. His cultivation has been sealed since he entered Nightless City. He is armed only with his fists.

Meng Yao watches Mingjue go down. Stay down, he thinks, but he knows that Nie Mingjue won’t. He can’t see the faces of the Wen disciples but he can see their arms lifting to deliver another blow, another shock. Is it Nie Mingjue on the ground, spitting defiant blood, or is it his mother, cowering from another blow? Is it a Cultivation Competitor standing here in this dark garage, or a child frozen at the foot of the stairs?

Later, he doesn’t remember deciding to move. It simply happens. He is simply on the ground, Mingjue somewhere behind him, and pain is happening. There’s almost a weird relief to it. He is familiar with pain. He is practiced. He doesn’t struggle, doesn’t think, just lets it happen as his body seizes and something cracks.  

Someone is screaming. Someone is lifting him gently off the ground. He recognizes the hands holding him by the shoulders. “Nie-zongzhu,” he murmurs, eyes still screwed tightly closed against assault, but the attacks have stopped, though the pain has not.

“Meng Yao,” Nie Mingjue mutters, and it sounds so- so heartbroken, as though- as though he didn’t know- how could he not know? How could he- Meng Yao’s thoughts skip on a loop-

-the two Lan heirs are here, the two Lan heirs are competitors, and they are obviously not willing volunteers, and competitors have never been obviously injured before a competition before. The Wens don’t care any more and that means that things are starting and he is hundreds of miles away from Qinghe, away from Huaisang, with no way of finding out what might be happening there- Qinghe isn’t ready- he thought he was doing the right thing-

-if the Wen disciples have broken something serious inside him, staying alive in the arena is going to be problematic-

-the person screaming is his stylist, his brain finally tells him, she’s shouting something at the thugs about his face being worth a thousand of theirs-

-two years in Nie Mingjue’s bed and Nie Mingjue didn’t know that Meng Yao loved him-

-one of his rival competitors is Lan Xichen, and Nie Mingjue will never, ever tell Meng Yao that he wants him to win, and mean it.

[chimswae]

BTS Caretake CH26

Summary: She may think she has Bangtan Sonyeondan wrapped around her fingers. She may think it is easy to love the members equally without hurting any soul. She may think the boys wont fall head over heels for her. She assumes it is okay to show a little love and affection towards the boys, what if she gets it all wrong? What if it only brings more complication to her already complicated life? Can she survive their charms? Will she be able to resist them? What if they just wont let her go?

- Pairing: BTS x Oc ( Yoongi x OC, Jungkook x OC)

- Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Romance, Idol!au

- Word Count: 4,918

- Author Note: Happy December everyone! Slightly late update~ sorry!

Previous | Next

Chapter 26

D-day

Few hours before the actual event took place, the boys would be walking down BBMAs Magenta Carpet along with other renowned celebrities creating their own history. Everyone had started running here and there since morning, hectic day indeed. Not to mention, the boys woke up as early as 8 in the morning to get their makeup done. Early bird Kim Seokjin was the first one in line looking annoyingly stunning and cheerful like he always does.

“You are early Jin” Semmy chuckled.

“Good morning to you too nuna” Jin chortled moving his head a little, showing off his so called adorable side. “So, where is Seul?” he clasped his hand in anticipation to see the other girl to appear behind Semmy.

Semmy raised one of her brows, bemused “Aren’t you being a little too clingy Jinnie? You may chase the girl away” she teased, placing the box down on the floor.

Jin pouted in his seat “I am being a responsible person here, since I am the one who suggested her to come along with us. I may as well use this chance to show how much I care” he defended himself earning a soft chuckle from others.

His personal manager retorted “You mean a chance to show how much you value her?” Jin gasped dramatically, placing his hand over his own chest. “Hyung, how could you betray me? I thought we are best friend!” he pursed his lips in protest.

“I thought you are Jungkook’s bestfriend. You guys hang out a lot without me anyways” he hummed nodding at Jin’s way. Before he could open his mouth to protest again, Seul’s chirpy voice ended the morning bicker, “Morning everyone!” the small girl pushed the stainless-steel clothes rack inside the room.

Namjoon beamed watching her making an entrance “Morning Seul. Did you get a good rest?” said the leader with a concern look. She nodded giving him a thumb up and shifted his attention to Jin “How early are you that you already working those magic on your handsome face” she giggled.

“I couldn’t even sleep, this anxiety is killing me” he claimed.

“You will be doing great, I am rooting for you Jin! Oh unnie, I bring their outfits, so who should I assist first?” the bright girl smiled flustering Semmy.

Jin and Namjoon exchanged glance smiling away, Semmy signalled Seul to the room next to her “Jungkook and Yoongi are inside, maybe you can see whoever is done with their makeup” she laid all the accessories on the coffee table.

The mention of Jungkook and Yoongi names twitched her heart, however she had to show her professionalism. She was not allowed to involve her personal feelings in her job. Risky and dangerous. Without much complain, she went straight to check those guys inside. Sprawling on the leather couch was Jungkook with gadget in his hand, his lips twisted in the cutest manner probably frustrated with the game battle that he had.

Meanwhile on the other side, Yoongi was sitting with his eyes closed facing the vanity table. The older woman applied a little colour on Yoongi’s lid, keeping his makeup minimalistic and as natural as she could. She slid silently beside them, watching the woman moved her fingers skilfully blending the colours which suit Yoongi’s pale skin. In all honesty, any colour would look good on him, and Seul found herself smile unknowingly at the thought.

Realizing Seul’s presence beside them, the brunette was about to greet her but Seul quickly placed her finger over her own lips signalling her to keep it low. Seul gave a polite bow mouthing her a good morning. The woman let out a silent giggle, sending her a wink before returned to her work.

‘Min Yoongi you are better and hundred times nicer, if you just keep your mouth shut like this’ she approached Jungkook hesitantly, waving her hand in front of his face to snap him out from his little world.

Be professional, said Seul. As soon as their eyes met, Seul couldn’t help the blush from making its comeback on her skin. His bunny smile was not helping either only to worsen it even more. Deadpanned, Seul fan herself with a soft huff “Are you done with your hair and makeup?” she quickly asked.

Jungkook’s round eyes blinked cutely as his nose scrunched up cutely in response “Makeup, checked. I haven’t done my hair though. What do you need stylist nuna?” he teased. Seul cleared her throat averting her eyes from meeting his, wherever but just not Jungkook.

“Oh, if you are done then you can call me over. I will just assist someone else for now” turning her heels as fast as lightning, she was ready to make an escape. Jungkook grabbed her wrist right on time “You can still dress me up anyway. At least I wont ruin the hair later on” the corner of his lips was tugged upward into his usual flirtiest smile.

“Let me get your outfit Jungkook-ssi” she pulled her hand and expelled a relief sigh. She mentally cursed herself from acting awkward around him. How could she stop thinking about her moment with Jungkook a day ago? It had been bothering since then.

Afraid to appear irresponsible, she grabbed Jungkook’s outfit and returned to the golden boy again this time forcing herself to act professional. Whiny Jungkook on the other hand didn’t give her a hard time, thankfully. She could properly assist him with his outfit and as soon as she’s done with him, Seul passed the job to Semmy. It was evident the younger guy requested Seul to style his hair but she’s quick to reject it.

It was not a request.

It was a way for him to commit sin.

That sinful Jeon Jungkook.

She gave this thing a deep thought as Seul decided to look for Hoseok and Jimin. Assisting the two-fluffy sunshine were the best resort at the moment. Just no Yoongi and Jungkook for the time being. While waiting for Hoseok getting ready, Seul lend her hand to style Jimin’s hair. She might not be a real professional, but she could do a simple thing start with the spray and how to style one’s hair. For some reason her practice with Hoon was quite useful.

Running her fingers in Jimin’s fluffy hair, she carefully smoothed the area that needed her attention. His gaze fell on her as he watched Seul caressed his hair from the reflection. Chewing his lips excitedly, it would be a lie that he didn’t enjoy it even a bit. Hell, he’s over the moon to see her face.

“I like this hair colour, it fits you” she murmured as a soft smile plastered across her face.

Jimin eyes shrunk in process allowing him to smile handsomely through the mirror “Don’t you like my pink hair?” she shook her head without hesitation. “Not a fan of it, I like your dark brown and black hair better. I always go for natural colour” she took a quick glance and grabbed the hairspray.

“Said the tangerine head” he flicked tongue his mouth, smirking.

“Hey, I am planning to change it back to black. Blame my stupid best friend. She forced me to try out this colour. She apparently thinks having your hair coloured is the process of adulting. It is absurd but whatever, I don’t really like it” Seul pouted keeping her hand busy spraying his hair carefully not to hurt his eyes.

He chuckled heartily “Adulting is never easy babe” Seul froze upon hearing the last phrase. What a sneaky mochi! He did not just call her babe out of the blue in an open space especially with the presence of other staffs.

Seul knocked his head a little using her knuckles to bring back some sense in him “Don’t babe me. Who allow you to say that” she snickered, frowning in disapproval. “Ow! Why are you using violence to punish me” he rubbed the top of his head, puckering his lower lips adorably hoping that Seul would spare his life.

“Let’s set a clear boundary here Park Jimin-ssi” she turned the swivel chair, so the mouthy guy could face her. Puffing her cheeks out of annoyance, she palmed the arm of the chair trapping the adorable guy in between. Her hard stare caused Jimin to shrink in his seat “Ya, Ji Seul you are scaring me” his head neck almost disappeared when she leaned forward intimidating him.

“First, you are not allowed to show your affection towards me in public. Make it physical contact or through your words. When I mean affection, limits your touchy side. Keep your hands to yourself” her stern voice sounded super serious and scary to him.

“It cant be hel-“ Seul silenced him with single glare. He pressed his lips together firmly, recollecting his thought and continue to listen to the girl sulkily.

“Secondly, don’t babe me. I have a personal vendetta against it especially when it comes from you. It is disturbing. We are not dating or anything so-“ “YET!” Jimin cut her off and once again her fiery glare penetrated his eyes.

He placed his hands on his lap like an obedient kid “Okay sorry, I will shut up”. It took a lot of strength to not laugh at the scene in front of her, but she had to make things clear. Seul didn’t want thing with Jungkook repeated by its own. The trios are dangerous and contagious to her fragile heart, it needed to be put on pause before bad things happen.

“So, we are not dating. Just don’t call me babe. I don’t do cliché thing, just call me anything but not babe” she cringed.

Jimin tilted his stupidly cute head in a slow motion as if he’s thinking about something “I will call you bunny then” her eyes rounded at the nicknames earning a soft chuckle from Jimin “Or do you want to make it sounded sugary, hunny bunny?” his plump lips rounded imitating Seul’s eyes.

“Ew, I prefer none”

“Should I call you berry, like strawberry because you smell like strawberry”

“Stop it”

“Or should I call you baby?”

“That is even worse”

“How does yeochin* sounds like?” (*A slang for Yeoja Chingu=Girlfriend)

“PARK JIMIN IM NOT YOUR YEOCHIN!” she hissed lowly careful not to attract any attention to their side. Seul stood in front of him, crossing her arms defensively.

Jimin pouted out of habit driving her up the walls, she hated it when he pouted.

She despised cutesy stuff, yet Park Jimin’s cutesy side was beyond her control. She couldn’t control her heart from drumming crazily. Like right now.

“Alright this is impossible. I will just set the last rule. No nicknames, just call me Seul” with that she spun the swivel chair back facing the mirror in front of them. Jimin inaudible protest could be heard clearly and it tickled her heart.

 Seul ended up spending another thirty minutes styling Jimin before moving to sunshine Hoseok. His smile pleased her heart as usual and finally she’s taking a break from handful guys like the trios. At least with Hoseok, she could act naturally without getting flustered most of the time. Plus, the light conversation that she had with Hoseok always end up playful and cheerful.

After all the members were ready, they would be interviewed by some Korean and American medias before heading to the venue. She swore she heard Bang PD beyond the door talking to the boys and it made her scared to death. He’s the big boss, to be in the same room as him, was nerve wrecking. Especially when she’s illegally replacing her mother place as their caretaker.

Seul sat together with other staffs taking their short break whilst the boys had their short interview and photoshoot outside. She had fun exchanging stories with the rest of the staffs and they had been nothing but awfully friendly to her since day one. Not to mention, BTS’s managers were as friendly as Sejin but bear in mind their goofy side would disappear once they were on roll again.

Their conversation died down upon seeing Bang PD followed by the boys behind him entering the room, everyone stood up bowing politely. Bang PD nodded “Thank you for your hard work, it must be tiring. I appreciate your dedication and passion” he fixed his glass at the bridge of his nose accompanied by a wide smile afterwards.

The moment his eyes landed on Seul, the latter watched the older man nervously and bowed again out of respect “You must be Ji Seul? Mrs Hwang’s daughter, am I right? Thank you for coming despite the short notice. I hope you are not burdened by it” he stated.

“No Sir! I am glad that I could help” she rubbed her hand together sheepishly.

“It must be hard to leave your mother alone. Is she doing alright? How’s the therapy treating her?” she steadied her breathing not to appear silly in front of him. So, she answered calmly “My mother is doing fine. It is hard for her part, but we are waiting for the donor. Thank you for asking” Seul bit her lower lips hoping the topic of caretaking the boys left untouched.

To her distaste, his next question taken her aback a little.

“Hm, I was quite worried that she wanted to continue caretaking the boys when she’s in no condition to work. She explicitly stressed her worries on the contract, but we can give her a long break from the job if she want. Will it be alright for her to work in that condition?” the boys exchanged worried glance in any case Bang PD might catch her lying to the company.

Seul broke into a cold sweat, “My mother is very stubborn. She insists on keeping the job because she’s worried of them. Technically, she takes care of Bangtan like her own son in fact she seems to love them more than me” she joked, letting out a small chuckle to ease the tension.

The older man laughed “Right, these boys did mention about that. Your mother is a kind lady and her dedication towards her job, I admire that. Maybe, you can fill in her place for the time being as their caretaker until she recovers” baffled Seul didn’t expect such proposition from the man in front of her. Bang PD had bigger heart than she imagined. He’s a thoughtful man.

Sejin’s face hardened as he too did not expect to hear such things from Bang PD. However, it would be a good thing meaning he had no secrets to keep from the company. BTS looked satisfied and their nervousness now being replaced by excitement.

“Me? But I am not married”

“What is wrong with your marital status young lady?” he eyed her with curiosity.

Seul mumbled “My mother told me that Bighit only hire people that’s married” she exclaimed timidly.

“Yes technically. We improvised the rules last year and changed it to in light of the recent events” he glanced at Namjoon’s way causing the younger man to lower gaze in guilt. “It is done to protect these boys from malicious rumours. Don’t worry, you are an exception since your mother has been working with the company for years. I was grateful for her hard work, taking care of these boys despite we couldn’t pay her much back then. She went to extra length feeding these boys using money coming from her own pocket. Your mother is an angel, this is the least that I could do for her to repay her kindness” he said genuinely.

She was losing her words and without she realized her body moved by its own bowing again, as soon as she lifted her head, Yoongi’s eyes explored hers. His heart stung to see the obvious tears in her eyes.

“Thank you, Sir. I will deliver the news to my mother soon. We’ll work on that” with this closure that she obtained from the head of the company itself finally put her mind at ease. She no longer had to sneak in and out like a criminal. Bang PD acknowledged her presence, that was enough for Seul to tend her job without fear of getting caught.

A trace of genuine smile could be seen on his face “I will inform the management team about it. It is set then. Be a good daughter to your mother and take care of her alright?” Seul nodded with her usual sunny smile. Bang Pd turned to the face the seven guys “She will be your caretaker from now on, no funny business boys” Jungkook pressed his lips into thin line trying not to break any silly smile.

“Even if you do have some funny ideas in your head, keep it under radar. Just.. hmm don’t get caught” he shoves his hand inside the pocket before leaving the room following Sejin for his next appointment.

Dumbfounded, Seul tried to decipher Bang Pd’s final words and she glanced at those silly boys, who had funny smile on their face as if mocking her. Did they just get a green light from their boss? Today was their lucky day, indeed.  

 ----------------------------

Seul had already left with other staffs to the backstage considering the guys still had the magenta carpet to slay before they entered the venue. People started to fill all the empty seats. It didn’t take that long before the crowd grew bigger and the seats filled rapidly. Her eyes scanned the venue diligently and she spotted Armys in their seat with their Army Bombs and fancy placards. She smiled to herself complimenting their cuteness.

Shortly after, the cheers erupted embarking the entrance of BTS inside the venue. She could tell the flabbergasted face from the non BTS fans inside the venue trying to look for the source of the scream. Their fans started to cheer even louder while chanting “BTS” all over again until the boys settled down in their seat.

The boys didn’t see it coming and for once they were proud of themselves knowing Armys were there with them. They were no longer felt small and ashamed of themselves. Armys were as huge as other fanbases. Jungkook drummed his fingers on his thigh nervously, glancing around watching some familiar and unfamiliar faces flooding the arena.

The boys spotted their favourite celebrities from afar but too shy to make the first move. Some of the celebrities would casually come up to them and they had small talk, taking pictures together rendering them speechless. Everything was too dreamy for them but what else could they wish for.

“Seul-ah lets fix their look one last time before the event start” Semmy shoved the small bag in Seul’s embrace and the shorter girl walked after her and two of the staffs entering the arena. They gave a light touch up on their makeup, making sure they shone amongst the biggest stars in the arena.

Seul went to Taehyung, leaning down a little fixing his hair, “Good luck Tae. Don’t be nervous” he smiled beautifully with a soft murmur “Not anymore, now that I have seen your face” Seul rolled her eyes with a straight face.

“Right. See you later” after her final touch, she moved to Namjoon’s side. The leader seemed a little tense probably since they were nominated, it was the craziest feeling. He softened as soon as he noticed Seul’s fingers fiddle with his tux, smoothing it in process.

“Are you scared?” she took mini hairspray in the sling bag, before spraying the mist a little. He nodded, expelling a deep breath “You can do it. Whatever happen, Bangtan will always be the winner in Army’s heart” she fixed his hair to the side with her delicate touch.

“What about your heart?” his eyes glimmered.

Seul chuckled “We will see how you guys behave, since I am your official caretaker now” Namjoon pursed his lips in protest. “I will see you later, enjoy the show” she straightened up, not wanting to prolong the conversation any longer. There were eyes everywhere. Armys had eagle eyes, that was the scariest part.

Her body momentarily froze when she realized the next member, Min Yoongi. Yoongi burning gaze making Seul shifted uncomfortably under his scrutiny. She kneeled as her back started to ache a little after the quick session with earlier members.

“You have been avoiding me ever since we reached here” his raspy voice was low. Seul tried to not get affected by that voice of his and did her job with a serious face. Neither she made an attempt to respond him nor she looked Yoongi in the eyes.

He clicked his tongue in disbelief “You are impossible Ji Seul. I will spare your life for now. Wait until everything is over” she looked unamused by Yoongi’s empty threat. She purposely squished his shoulder with greater pressure pretending to fix his tux to clean the so-called dust, making the rapper to jerk backwards in his seat.

Seul ran her fingers to the necklace around his neck, with a little tug, the guy coughed a little realizing the girl before her was about to choke him to death. That was exaggerating though, it acted as some sort of warning from the fierce Ji Seul.

Clenching his teeth together, his jaw tightened “Are you trying to choke me?” his forehead creased into a deep frown. Namjoon stole a glance at the couple and shook his head, resuming his conversation with the 95-liner.

“Attempt murder that is the word” she stated with her nose scrunched in bafflement.

Yoongi scoffed his disbelief “More like giving me a glimpse of how you want me to take you in bed” he looked up. She shot him a death glare looking eager to chop his foul tongue. Min Suga always know how to irk her. Seul gritted her teeth sending him a last hard stare before tailing Semmy behind. He watched the girl disappear from his vicinity following the rest off the staffs.

‘And no good luck for me? Impolite much’ he cursed in his head out loud. The urge to pull the girl back in his arm thickening.

He had to admit Seul could be somewhat confusing. One time she would be an angel in front of him, acted shy and very responsive to his teasing and touch. However, at one-point Seul could be a little aggressive only with him. He wondered if that girl had a personal vendetta against him. Why was she treating him like he’s her number one enemy? Gosh, she’s complicated.

 Halfway through the shows, the announcer finally announced the winner of Top Social Artist Award and it was surprising though some already predicted BTS victory in this category. They practically beat Justin Bieber here which was a big deal. They were losing their soul as soon as they were announced as the winner.

None of them expected it to happen overnight considering the invitation to BBMAs alone were beyond greater than anything. Namjoon did his speech in English and added a little Korean in the end before they left to the backstage celebrating their glory together. They were at the verge of shedding tears, yet they had to compose themselves. It is not Korea, they must look good since they were carrying their country’s name on the shoulder.

Upon their arrival at the backstage, they were again welcomed by a loud clap and cheer from the crews and Bighit staffs included Seul. She was standing at the corner, watching them diligently with a proud smile. No words could describe her feelings that time. She was as overwhelmed as them.  

Jungkook scrutinized the large area looking for the one face that he hoped to see and soon grinning from ear to ear once their gaze locked. Seul mouthed him a congratulation with big two thumbs up. He winked at her way and muttered a thank you before shifting his attention to the cameras in front of him.

They were supposed to do a quick backstage interview after winning the trophy, so everyone had moved to another side of the area. It was hectic with crews running from one place to another making sure everything ran smoothly.

On the other hand, Hoseok took a deep breath trying to calm down his aching nerve. His heart was racing, almost like it wanted to get off his chest. He stood behind Namjoon together with Jimin, whilst others paid attention to the interviewer. Soon, Hoseok felt a painful knot in his stomach and throat.

This heavy feeling tugging his heart making him hard to breathe. Jimin noticed his rapid breathing, he reached out to touch the older guy’s back “Hyung, are you alright?” he whispered. Hoseok steadied his breathing and shot the latter a small smile “I need to use the restroom, am I allowed to leave for a moment?” he murmured.

Just about time, their interview with the news outlet was done and they were ready to move to the next one before Jimin interrupted. “Hyung, Hoseok hyung need to go to the restroom, can he?” Namjoon patted his shoulder, looking concern “Are you alright Hobi?” he blinked.

“Y-eah… just nature call…” one of the managers came to his side, assisting him out from the crowd to find the restroom.

Squishing between the crowd was dizzying and he was lagged behind trying to catch up the man in front of him. Hoseok felt like throwing up as he clutched onto his belly refraining it from coming out. The vision in front of him was blurry and he’s drenched in sweat. Not caring of the surrounding, he dragged his heavy feet to escape the crowd and to find a quiet place to calm himself.

He bumped into something more like someone along his journey. It was not hard to recognize the owner of the voice, Seul only her. Seul grabbed his hand, holding onto it tight “Hobi, are you alright? You don’t look good?” she looked at him in sheer horror.  

Hoseok tightened the grip around her wrist, as his hand shook followed by his heavy breathing. Seul pulled his arm in daze trying to find a more secluded place for him to regain his composure. Hurriedly Seul made a sharp turn at the corner and opened the door to a random room which appeared to be empty, thankfully.

She closed the door behind him and sat the panic guy on the chair. “Alright, calm down your breathing, take a deep breath, take a deep breath Hobi” she knelt down at his level, giving a soft squish on his hand.

“I c-ant” Hoseok clutched onto his chest, continue breathing loudly through his nose.

“You have to hold your breath for few seconds before releasing it. Think of happy thought, something that can calm you” Seul said in panic.

Hoseok weirded out upon hearing her statement and his chest moving heavily following his unstable breathing “Okay wait! Just try to hold your breathing!” desperately Seul held onto both his hand tight “together with me 1, 2, 3” Hoseok followed her but failed to do so.

“OH GOD! What should I do” Hoseok squeezed his eyes together forcing the air out from his lung and made another attempt. Seeing how Hoseok struggled, she had finally decided to take the matter in her own hand. Hence, without wasting any time, Seul cupped one of his cheek “I am sorry I have to do this” she closed the gap between them, hovering his lips with hers.

Hoseok’s breath hitched for few seconds as she drank in his gasps and sighs.

He couldn’t breathe.

Momentarily paralyzed.

His mind was in a haze.

The way how their lips intertwined onto each other, darken Hoseok’s thought. He never thought of having such close contact with her. How was he supposed to react to this?

She pulled away staring blankly at Hoseok hoping the techniques worked to stop his panic attack. And, it did. Hoseok breathed softly and forced the words out “How did you do that?” he uttered in bafflement.

Seul licked her lower lips, smiling meekly “I read once, if you hold your breath, it could stop your panic attack” the older guy was trying to recover himself from the sudden kiss that they shared. Even though her intention was to help him but why was he feeling fuzzy over it?

Hoseok shrugged the thought off from his mind, blinking few times and finally breathing normally again.

“Are you okay?” she felt self-conscious after the kiss. Not that she wanted to make it sounded like it was very special to her, still it was a kiss. The skinship was intimate not just a mere hug.

Did she just get herself into another trouble?

 The two of them stayed in the room for ten more minutes giving Hoseok a space to regain his sanity. Now that his breathing normalized, Seul felt her blood rushed on her face, tainting her cheeks red. None of them dared to speak a thing, still bewildered by their own action.

“I..think we need to go find others. They must be worried” Seul broke the silence and making her way to the door.

Hoseok bit his lower lips, surpassing his grin “Thank you Seul, for….yeah”

Seul moved her head, nodding slowly at his way as they were back in the scene searching for others before they made a fuss over Hoseok’s disappearance.

  This work belongs to  Chimswae © 2020. All Rights Reserved

[weshallc]

BERNS NIGHT (Revisited) 

Call the Midwife AU Crown Jewels fic (this one actually has Bernie in! She must have been in panto or something in January missed a few chapters)

CHAPTER FOUR: There In Thy Scanty Mantle Clad.

“There, in Thy Scanty Mantle Clad, Thy Snawie Bosom Sunward Spread.” To a Mountain Daisy by Robert Burns 1786

"I Hear Your Footsteps in the Streets, it Won't Be Long Until We Meet. It's Obvious." Oblivious by Aztec Camera 1983

 “Ouch, be careful!”

“Well stand still, Paddy,” Trixie scolded, “and I won’t accidentally prick you.”

“Is this really necessary?” whined the publican, not for the first time that hour.

“You want it the right length, don’t you?” admonished the determined dressmaker.

“That’s too short.” Paddy grumbled, swaying unsteadily on the rickety foot stool.

“No, it’s not.”

Patsy interrupted the squabbling confirming the kilt should hang from the top of the hip and finish at the top of the knee.

“This one is too high.” Paddy fiddled with the waistband.

“No, it’s not! It sits at the navel.” Getting up from her knees, Trixie playfully poked Paddy in the belly button.

The temporary male model wasn’t amused, and Delia felt some sympathy. “Right Doc, take it off now, so Chummy can alter it.”

Paddy hopped off the footstool, the green and blue checked woollen garment swaying around his thighs. He grabbed his jeans and headed out of Patsy’s studio towards the downstairs loo. Patsy, Delia and Trixie didn’t wait until he had closed the door behind him before they burst into giggles.

 Saturday 25th January 2020

Bernie wouldn’t want anyone to accuse her of being ungrateful, but she would have much rather spent her birthday at work. To be back in Poplar-on-Tweaven working behind the bar with Paddy rather than traipsing around Newcastle city centre with Trixie.

Saturday’s were usually fun at the Crown. Sundays you could always predict to be busy, due to the temptation of Violet’s Sunday lunches and the let’s have a nice day in the country crowd. Saturday’s were more unpredictable a lot depending on whether there was a match on. The football crowd had made Bernie nervous at first, but she had taken her lead from Val, who seemed to know the right mix between flirting and being one of the lads. She even surprised herself with her knowledge of the offside-rule and recognising a few players when they came in during the off-season.

“So, what about this one?” Trixie’s irritated voice broke through Bernie’s wistfulness. They were standing in Fenwick’s department store. Her friend was holding up a black mini dress bearing a large faint gold and red criss-cross pattern.

“Isn’t it a bit tartanie?” Bernie screwed up her nose.

Trixie tried very hard not to give anything away. “What’s wrong with tartan, your Scottish, don’t you just love tartan?”

Bernie bit her lip and tried to keep a level of calmness in her voice, “I am not that kinda Scottish.”

Trixie clanged the hanger back onto the rail in frustration. Bernie felt a twinge of guilt for exasperating her well-meaning friend.

“I will probably just wear my good jeans and a sparkly top, Trixie.” Bernie tried to reassure, with little success.

“But, Paddy is taking you out somewhere nice tonight, surely you want to look the part?”

Bernie took a deep breath, “The part?...the part of Paddy’s date! I am thinking jeans and a nice wee top will do just fine, Trixie.”

 It was several hours later, Bernie was looking at herself in the oak Cheval mirror in the corner of her bedroom. The little black dress with the red and gold criss-crosses did look quite nice on and it did have pockets, so that was a bonus. She heaved up her 40 denier black tights one last time. Why did they never make the small, small enough? She smiled, knowing if Chummy were in the room she would ask why they didn’t make extra large, extra enough.

A frown reflected back at her as she fiddled with her hair. Trixie had insisted on styling it with a mountain of product she had brought back from Boots. As a result, it now seemed to flick out in all directions. The would-be stylist had been very pleased with the finished article, and Bernie had smiled and made positive noises. She really wanted to put a brush through it and tie it back in a scrunchie like she did most days. Trixie’s sixth sense clicked in and she growled, “Leave it.”

They set out, tottering the short distance from Bernie’s cottage to the Crown Inn. Arm-in-arm, more for stability than out of friendship. Trixie in nine months of living just outside of Poplar had still not mastered walking on cobbles in heels. Bernie more used to ankle boots and trainers had let Trixie talk her into buying a pair of black below-the-knee boots in the January sales. Until today, the labels hadn’t been removed. She was convinced the young saleswoman and her friend had been in collusion. Eventually the overwhelming smell of leather, shoe polish and sweaty feet on an empty stomach had rendered the usually stubborn Bernie vulnerable. Well-honed sales techniques and Trixie’s promise of a Greggs’ vegan sausage roll to offset the purchase of leather eventually triumphed. These boots were definitely not made for walking, Bernie decided. She was however glad of the extra fabric as the north wind whistled around her shorter than usual hem line.

As if sensing her friend's awkwardness, Trixie squeezed her arm a little more tightly. “You look amazing, just don’t scuff those killer, fuck-me boots on the cobbles.”

This warning unsurprisingly had the opposite effect than intended, as Bernie stuttered to an abrupt halt and dropped her friend's arm.

“What?” Bernie shrieked in horror. Trixie grabbed back hold of her stabilizer and dragged her along, laughing so infectiously that Bernie couldn’t help but succumb.

“Why are you so tarted up anyway for a night in the Crown?”

“It’s your birthday and I thought you would be having a drink before heading off with Paddy. Just because it is a country pub doesn’t mean everyone has to always wear wellies and a jumper with a hole in it.”

Bernie’s mock indignation at Trixie’s jibe resulted in a snort as she tried to hold in a laugh. They were still sniggering as Trixie lunged forward and steadied herself by slapping her hand heavily against the inn’s bay window. She pulled herself up and then slapped her hand against the window one more time. Bernie, who was still giggling, just shrugged at her friend's clumsy behaviour.

“Bit slippy there, have to tell Paddy about that.” Trixie straightened up and smiled nervously.

“OK.” Bernie nodded somewhat bemused as she pushed open the large wooden doors of the old inn.

 Bernie later couldn’t recall if it was her eyes that first alerted her that something was different; the darkness giving the game away. Or it could have been her ears as they picked up the deep drone of the bagpipes. Maybe it was neither. Her skin tingling with goosebumps was more than likely the first sign that all was not as it should be.

After that initial physical reaction, her mind seemed to give up trying to make any sense of anything. It all became a blur. She remembered Trixie pushing her in the back and into the bar and placing something around her shoulders. There had definitely been cheering and then a very tuneless rendition of Happy Birthday accompanied by the bagpipes and a small band.

The pipes - bashful Kevin and his wee dog. At first she had thought Paddy or somebody had bought her a pet for her birthday. The poor wee thing was used to sitting and looking cute outside the town hall. Raising a paw every time someone dropped a coin in Kev’s mug. The animal had become a little overwhelmed by the commotion and sheer volume of people. Realizing that the lady who had just come through the door must be somehow responsible for the change in ambience; he could not resist jumping up at the new arrival with great enthusiasm. His owner was horrified, but unsure what was more important; to reprimand his charge or keep playing. Fortunately, the situation was resolved when a large pair of hands gently scooped up the tiny mongrel and calmed him down by whispering in his ear and letting him lick his face.

Bernie remembered Violet telling Reggie to take the excited guest through the back for a biscuit. The commotion had given Bernie time to take it all in, the low lighting, the table centres made up of thistles and blue and purple hyacinths, each with a thick white candle, flames dancing a jig on every table. The black, royal blue and red tartan tablecloths and a larger trestle table covered with a different checked pattern, a lighter blue and green with gold.

Bernie wasn’t given long to take it all in, as she was overwhelmed by hugs and kisses. Mostly from people she knew like the Noakes’, Fred, Jane, Phyllis and Julia along with a few she didn’t know, which was a bit disconcerting. Along with the displays of affection, cards and packages that were also pressed into her. Finding it very difficult to accept all the hugs from her friends and free herself from those who weren’t, Bernie found it impossible to balance all the gifts too. Fortunately Trixie had been prepared for this and took on the role of a lady-in-waiting, as if Bernie had suddenly been crowned the Princess of Poplar. The village's newest resident relished her role as best friend, relieving Bernie of her burdens as swiftly as she received them. Trixie may have had a colourful life, but she did like to be of use.

It was Val who finally rescued her from the wall of wellwishers. Taking Bernie by the hand, she took her behind the bar and up the stairs to the living accommodation. “Are you ready for your present?”

Exasperated by the recent unexpected events and not knowing what to expect next, Bernie just shrugged her shoulders. Secretly she was enjoying the calm of the Turner flat and not being the centre of attention. Val gave her a quick squeeze and told her, “Happy birthday, chick.” Opening the door to Paddy’s living room she added winking,

“You’re welcome.”

[danwhobrowses]

AEW Full Gear 2020: Review

Didn’t watch it live but I still have the time to review the next day, after the problems All Out faced Full Gear was definitely something fans were hoping won’t repeat the same mistakes, so it’s time to see if it delivered Spoilers for Full Gear of course

The Buy-In Most of the Buy-In was just the video packages save for a MJF and Kingston Family promo (though props to Alex for interviewing the Lucha Bros in Spanish, that was a nice touch), which I feel was a bad move. The promos were of course fantastic but my qualm was the video packages: the packages are on the countdown show anyway, there could’ve been 2 matches at least and a few segments that could’ve set up the TV feuds considering that it was over an hour. NWA Women’s Championship: Serena Deeb (c) def Allysin Kay (Submission via Serenity Lock) A solid pre-show match, Deeb and Kay are crisp given their veteran history. Kay worked on her height and strength while Deeb worked on her yoga-based flexibility. There was a lot of good chain wrestling as you’d expect from the NWA alums, a shift to an Octopus Stretch, Deeb working the Leg with a Dragon Screw and Kay still managing to muscle out of Deeb’s offence. After a Kay salvaged herself from what looked a bit like an elevated Styles Clash with a leg on the rope, Deeb forced her to tap with a Serenity Lock on the worked leg. While the match was fine the intrigue came after when Thunder Rosa wearing all the tassels she could to make Shawn Michaels blush came to the ring to challenge Deeb for a rematch. With Rosa gesturing the AEW ring it is clear that the AEW/NWA partnership and Thunder Rosa’s time with the Elite is far from over.

Main Card Of course with JR coming to commentary the main card is scheduled to begin. Unfortunately, I had been spoiled some results in advance (no thanks to Youtube or the 2 hour PC update that allowed the youtubers to reveal this while I was waiting to update) but a handful were in line to how I predicted them, so it didn’t fully harm the outcome. Don Callis though came out as well, they’ve hinted at it with Kenny but to actually see Don on commentary was definitely a surprise. AEW World Title Contendership Tournament Final Kenny Omega def. ‘Hangman’ Adam Page (Pinfall via One Winged Angel) Omega came out first the same way he’s done all the tournament, the cleaner dancers and the very long-winded braggadocios introduction. Pyro but no cosplay, Omega oozed confidence as proven by his plate as the leader in most victories in AEW. Page however paced towards the ring with nervous energy with the hilarious plate of ‘Focused Yeehaw Man’, less show but still drive, which really perfectly divulges the styles of both men as wrestlers. A snubbed handshake by Page did lead to back and forth, chops and counters as both men anticipated the stylist moves of the other. Hangman took over the early offence with strong moves, big boots, fallaway slams and a superplex did hint at some potential for the Hangman to gain the advantage. But then Omega with a moonsault from a railing put Kenny in control, Kotaro Crusher at 2 and a belated You Can’t Escape (he slipped after the first part but landed the sault after a pause) for 2 as well, then into the usual repertoire, the tope con hilo, the Back Head Missile Dropkick. Both men almost set up a One Winged Angel but then a V Trigger shut down a Buckshot but got bombed on the ramp after a series of counters, another pop-up bomb at 2 for Hangman.  Trading blows, a Rolling Elbow was broken even by a V Trigger and then a Tiger Driver at 2 for Kenny. Back and forth as both escaped Suplexes, both hit Rolling Elbows but Hangman then got the clothesline, he lands the deadeye...but does not get the 3. Buckshot reversed to a crucifix but Hangman sits the pin for another 2, Dragon Screw and V-Trigger on the ropes for Kenny gives him the energy to roar back, ducks the vicious swing of the Buckshot and hits 2 V-Triggers, Hangman tries to fight out of the One Winged Angel but the move hits and that’s 3.

Destiny comes true for Omega, he had to fight for it though. Definitely a physical match, the emotional layer didn’t all reflect on the match but Hangman definitely reels in disappointment afterwards, more isolated, more alone, and set to descend to new lows as Omega returns to the main event picture.

Orange Cassidy def. John ‘4′ Silver (Pinfall via Beach Break) Two cult heroes for AEW, Silver on BTE and Cassidy on Dynamite, fighting as a side story to the TNT title picture, JR gets props for calling Silver a “Human Bowling Ball” as both men enter with their respective faction members. Silver continues to play to OC’s jokes as he protests OC’s pockets, before being annoyed by OC’s counter wrestling - especially screaming ‘It doesn’t hurt!’ to OC’s monstrous kicks. Silver literally depockets OC for monster heat - no seriously he rips the pockets out of OC’s jeans! A lot of bravado follows from Silver’s power moves, throws and kicks to keep the heat going. Silver’s power also impressively suplexes out of OC’s swinging DDT attempt but the crowd chants definitely get to Silver as OC counters Silver’s irish whips with some turnbuckle shots, a crossbody and the swinging DDT, Silver though powers back, a one-handed Gorilla press into the ropes, a back head boot as he sets up the Spin Doctor, but then OC gets the headscissors, Michinoku Driver for 2 as the wrestlers at ringside argue the count of 2 or 3 (Heels and Faces kept either side). Silver rolls up OC trying the Orange Punch, counters again but gets hit with the stunner, counters again and lands the Spin Doctor but it’s another 2! Silver motions to homage Mr. Brodie Lee with a discus but it’s dodged into an Orange Punch and Beach Break for 3. Best Friends come to the ring to give the people what they want, the hug with the rainmaker zoom. A nice fun match, it really gave Silver some props to hang with OC as both characters shone through. I was surprised that Dark Order didn’t try to get involved and no post-match stuff.  TNT Championship: Darby Allin def Cody Rhodes (c) (via Pinfall) TITLE CHANGE! Allin rode in with a painted car and a half-painted driver before smashing his skateboard (with ‘The New Face of TNT’ emblazoned on it) into the windscreen. Sporting a veiny style of paint, no words are written on him like previous title matches, it’s all business. Cody (using his surname now) rolls in with his grandiose gates and pyro with Brandi beside him before being flanked by all the remaining members of the Nightmare Family - including Gunn Club and Lee Johnson. He’s also promoting a new shirt. Mike Chioda is announced as the Ref for this, giving a bigger fight feel to this title match.

Cody flaunts his strength advantage early on, knowing full well that Darby has never beaten him, but Darby is defiant to his insulting ‘politeness’ and cockiness - slapping Cody in the back of the head to wake the champion up. Encouraged to ‘muscle around’ Darby by Arn, he almost gets baited into a pin, he leaves the ring but gets suicide dived from his back (after a Ricochet-esque moonsault feint), in retaliation Cody just dumps Darby on back first on the ramp, harming Allin’s left elbow. Cody hones in on that injury with wrist locks and stomps, Darby also selling by being unable to use both his hands to pull the heavier opponent with an irish whip and being unable to lock the arm for a backslide - the latter getting him into another submission. Taunting the injury by exclaiming ‘that arm is trash’, Cody doubles down the arm, using it to ground any of Darby’s counter efforts. But every time Darby refuses, Cody grows more frustrated, an avalanche shoulderbreaker and a cross armbreaker attempt selling that Cody is using things outside of his usual moveset, but the missed moonsault gifts Allin a respite. Yoshi Tonic is Darby’s first signs of a rally but he’s shut down by a superkick, Darby pulls off the middle turnbuckle pad resisting Cody’s Cross Rhodes attempt and Cody is dazed by running into it but a rollup is at 2. Assured that he’s in control by Arn, Cody lands an Avalanche Cross Rhodes but Darby’s arm is under the rope, he counters a backpack sleeper by dropping from the turnbuckle which rolls Darby out the ring - Arn demands Darby stay down but he breaks the count. ‘Stay Down’ barks from Arn and Cody from continual powerslams but Darby refuses, even inviting Cody to continue. Frustrated, Cody brings that small white belt to the ring but is told by Chioda to not use it, dropping it behind him, Darby uses it to sweep Cody into a jacknife pin for 2, counters Disaster Kick with a Last Supper for 2, Flip Stunner and Coffin Drop follow, but also 2! Cody tries a Cross Rhodes but Darby counters with a Sunset Pin, Cody sits on him, 2, Darby rolls him, 2, Cody pulls back, 2, Darby rolls again, 3! Post-match, Cody hands Darby the title on one knee as Allin finally claims his first win over Cody and his main prize. Tazz however walks up to promo against the emotional moment as Cage and Starks blindside both men. However, dissension appear when both Starks and Cage both tussle for holding the TNT title, Tazz grabs it and gestures to Darby, with Cage carrying Darby outside of the ringside, Cody tries to fight back but fails, Darby thrown through a set piece and laid on the car he came in, they attempt to slam the door with Darby’s arm in between but Will Hobbs with a chair chases them down. It was a good title match, good narrative throughout. I think the finish could’ve been a bit more spectacular, Cody does seem to exude a Hogan-esque philosophy to losing at times, this one did feel like he wanted the loss to feel like a fluke. Darby’s win is deserved but the FTW shenanigans did dampen it, I expected Tazz and his crew to show during the match but in post-match it just kinda killed some of the wind in Darby’s sails. Interview Segment The Natural Nightmares - instead of backing up Cody - promo against Butcher, Blade and Bunny, specifically Allie for her using of QT to set up their Dynamite match, Dustin reveals that it’s gonna be a ‘Bunkhouse Match’. Dustin is a great promo but I have no idea what a Bunkhouse Match is, plus this is the segment you would see on the Pre Show. The Dynamite card is also revealed with Penta vs Fénix 2 as previously revealed and new match Conti vs Red Velvet. AEW Women’s Championship: Hikaru Shida (c) def. Nyla Rose w/ Vickie Guerrero (Pinfall via Knee Strike x4) Nyla rolls up with Vickie Bluetista style with a blue and cyan gear which really didn’t suit, Nyla’s gear has always been a mixed Bag The longest running Women’s Champion adds more colour to her Tifa Lockhart gear, her name plate finally on the belt (as detailed on her youtube channel, the name plate is more difficult to put on given its curved shape). Shida and Nyla are ready to go even before the bell as they trade blows, the Champion putting pressure on Rose with knee strikes and dropkicks but noticeably fails on the lift. Shida keeps her advantage of cutting Nyla down and landing the apron knee while Vickie screeches. The chair launch is cut off by a clothesline from Nyla but her attempts to pull a table is refused, giving Shida the chance to land the chair launch and sending her through the rail. Vickie though blindsides Shida’s knee with a kendo stick, giving the Native Beast the advantage she needs. Nyla uses the underneath frame of the ring to wrench Shida’s knee, then the ring post and a chop block to limit Shida’s use of the Tamashii (formerly called the Tamashii no 3 Count). Nyla continues to hone in on the leg, splashes and single leg crabs, even biting the knee to maintain her advantage. Shida rolls out of the senton and muscles a suplex for 2. The Tamashii is blocked by hitting the injured knee but Shida crossbodies, the knee continues to be the focus as Nyla keeps grasping and dropping Shida on it. My favourite Nyla Move, the Beast Knee is smashed into the injured knee for 2 as Nyla uses her weight against Shida’s injury. The champion pump kicks Nyla to the ramp after some turnbuckle shots for a corner dropkick, then a second in the ring at 2. The leg gives out on the Tamashii again so Nyla can powerbomb but foolishly pulls Shida out of the count, adding insult she lands the Tamashii, but only gets 1! A Back body press gives Shida the energy she needs, an Avalanche Falcon Arrow follows but Shida then breaks the pin, she tries the Tamashii but Vickie psyches her out (it was a botch but not a bad one), Vickie tries to kendo Shida while she’s hoisted and Shida just throws Nyla into Vickie. A half-hearted Falcon Arrow hits 2, Tamashii lands but another 2, second Tamashii and 4 Knee Strikes end the match. Being carried out of the ring by Aubrey, Vickie and Nyla are left in the ring as Guerrero screeches venom at Nyla, slapping the former Women’s Champion as she leaves.

In spite of it’s short build it was a good match, the final section was a little sloppy on the vicious vixens’ part but Shida sold her knee wonderfully. Expected Vickie to have more involvement and the post-match seemed to back out on Nyla turning on Vickie but maybe there’s more tale to tell. As a personal preference I hate when wrestlers willingly break their own pin, especially in a title match, it’s just a daft strategy but it was good to see that Shida’s stock has elevated to the point where she didn’t need the DQ stip to win like she did when she won the title, her early dominance would give her extra confidence and extra heat for who I think will be her usurper, Dr. Britt Baker DMD. Next time though, give Shida and her opponent Dynamite feud building. AEW World Tag Team Championship: The Young Bucks def FTR (c) (Pinfall via Superkick, Matt to Cash) TITLE CHANGE! With Matt previously cleared to compete, the Bucks strolled up in Black, Yellow and Purple to their usual money rain, but the pomp and confidence is limited, Matt noticeably slower up the ropes as he nurses his ankle. The champions roll up in White jumpsuits with Tully - who the Bucks protest on since he’s banned from ringside due to his prior attacks, he does leave on his own accord. A nice touch from FTR are the star colours; red, blue, yellow and gold, aka tag champs in Raw, Smackdown, NXT and AEW. Mind games of ‘Greatest Tag Team of All Time’ as well also there to get into the Bucks’ heads. Matt was confident to show that his ankle was fine by going first, Cash going for the injury but being out-wrestled to his frustration. FTR’s quick tag action is halted by the Bucks rushing them to a stalemate in 2s. Nick and Dax trade some chain wrestling with again the Bucks frustrating them, the Bucks almost seem to be playing FTR at their own game plan, until Nick is punched in the face. Both teams take to the ring leading to the Bucks doing a Rana into a ground pound on the champs before sending them out of the ring with their patented tandem offence. Dax busts open his hand hitting the ring post after Matt dodged, reeling from the ankle attack, the Bucks relish the opening to equialize on Dax’s hand for catharsis. A bit of a miscommunicated spot followed where Matt’s moonsault was ‘dodged’ by Dax not paying attention, and his throwing Matt into the ropes looked ugly as fuck as Matt nurses his ankle and Dax tags out for Doc Sampson to dress his hand. When he returns he quickly goes for vengeance on the ankle in mostly a same manner as Nyla did to Shida prior. Cash jumps for Nick to pull him away from the Hot Tag which grants Dax the opening for a Superplex but Cash gets knees from the follow-up splash. The hot tag again thwarted after Cash hit the railing but Dax throws him in ring to tag in, the two men stand between the brothers as Cash flies over the ring post to the floor and Dax is baited into the DDT, Nick storms into the hot tag, wriggling out of FTR’s grapples with kicks and the dual clothesline/bulldog but is eventually caught by FTR who land the Hart Attack. Nick regains advantage with a Cheeky Nandos Kick when FTR were setting up the Powerplex, blind tags Matt who spears the baited Cash and gets a knee in the face, but it’s only 2. Matt’s involvement leads to the knee giving out on a lift, leading to an Electric Chair bulldog combo from FTR, they go for Goodnight Express but Matt superkicks Cash, then Dax, Cash rolls out of ring leaving Dax alone to the Bucks, 3-D! Twist of Fate! Swanton! 2! Lovely homage to the tag team greats. Superkick Party is called, but Cash sweeps Matt’s ankle and Nick gets a rebound powerbomb, but Matt is legal and get 2 on a sneaky pin. Dax gets overzealous with the Dusty Punches and uses his injured hand, but Matt also gets overzealous and uses his bad ankle, both men use their injured limbs for a punch/superkick trade-off, but Dax beheads Matt with a lariat. Homaging DIY they meet in the middle but only get 2, they try the Spike Piledriver but Nick throws Cash off, a tandem move and a swanton onto the ramp leaves Matt room to use a Sharpshooter on Dax, Dax gets to the rope but Nick superkicks the injured hand before Sharpshooter on Cash, FTR clutch each other’s hands but get pulled away but Matt’s ankle gives out to continue the hold. Matt pulls a finger break on Dax’s injured hand (an awkward spot given the scrutiny Marty Scurll is under right now with the SpeakingOut movement) leading to the BTE Trigger, but Cash cannons himself to break the pin. Matt brings out the chair but it’s not legal, Dax goads Matt to hit him but Nick tells him not to, Matt relents and sets up the Meltzer Driver but Cash grabs Nick for a Powerbomb through a ringside table, a very well done twist by Dax leads to the Spike Piledriver but the leg Cash hooks drops onto the rope. Furious, Cash takes Matt’s shoe off, leglock and stomp leads to an inverted Figure Four and ankle lock, but Nick is rising and Cash sees it! He tries the suicide dive but Nick ducks it, breaks the submission with a 450 but Matt only gets 2. Cash superkicks Nick out of the ring, gesturing Two Sweets to Matt before another superkick, but Cash keeps looking at the top rope, he misses the 450 and Matt hits the unbooted Superkick for 3. Kenny came to congratulate the Bucks afterwards as Hangman hovered by the tunnel - wanting to congratulate his friends but still feeling isolated. This is one where I would’ve benefitted not being spoiled, but thumbnails are a bitch. With the narrative that Bucks needed to win to keep on competing and were already at a disadvantage definitely sold the stage to be for Matt to shine. Personally I thought time would run out and there would be some semantic fenagling but it was clean as a whistle. A great match as well, definitely delivered on its build, FTR definitely lacked the presence of Tully to keep their heads in the game in a narrative sense, it’s a shame their tag reign was short but the story has always led to this moment, there was no way Cody AND the Bucks would not be able to challenge for their main titles. I would have one criticism though, the early stages of the match did feel like it was just 1v1s, the tag match needed more tag team offence. Elite Deletion: Matt Hardy def Sammy Guevara (DELETION via Pinfall) The cameras shift to North Carolina where Sammy rides ominously on a golf cart to the Hardy Compound, but Matt also seems to be sorting out business on the phone saying that Sammy’s on his way - fearing that he may need backup if the numbers go against him. Neo 1 confronts Sammy, providing a hologram of Matt welcoming him to the compound and disabling the golf cart. Having crushed a toy monster truck on the way in, Sammy’s face drops at the revving of a full sized monster truck next to him helmed by BROKEN Matt, who flattens the cart before exclaiming that the act was ‘orgasmic’ and ‘now that was a squash job’. Setting the zany tone, Sammy goes all around the truck and hits Matt with a trash can to begin the match. Moonsault off the Truck’s tire as he hammers Matt across the woods. Commentary kinda took you out of it as they tried to fill the silence with their ‘state the obvious’ as the fight sprawled to the front lawn. Sammy doing some great taunts such as saying ‘it’s my house now, daddy’s home!’ and trying to drown Matt in the fountain but Matt grabs the ‘Scepter of Mephistopheles’ to hit Sammy with, missing only the headshot as they go to a backyard ring. As Matt reminds Sammy that he asked for this, Sammy takes advantage with the ring work until a Side Effect is hit and a powerbomb through the table. The pin however is broken by Santana and Ortiz, who double on Matt. Through a walkie talkie though Private Party are called for support to negate the former LAX - though Matt gets hit by a Street Sweeper and a Twist of Fate in the meantime. ‘Roman Candles’ are next on Matt’s mind as he and Sammy both grab a few to fire at each other while PP and Santana & Ortiz tussle in the ring, PP using some of the patented offence of  the Hardy Boyz. The latest ‘Sammy Run Away’ meme appears as Sammy is chased by fireworks before slipping in some mud, flattened by a Twist of Fate. As Matt prepares to throw Sammy into the Lake of Reincarnation, a Gangrel (yes, Gangrel! From the Brood) threatens The Hurricane (yes, Shane Helms, the Hurricane) as a hostage, claiming that Matt never gave him any loyalty while in the Brood, PP arrive to help free the superhero, who asked why it took 2 years - leading to Hardy to funnily quip ‘I’m sorry, long-term storytelling, I had to go to AEW just to finish this’ leading to Hurricane’s famous catchphrase. Hurricane almost gets Sammy with a chokeslam but he throws him in the lake, saying ‘What’s a Hero to a God? A Spanish God’ before trying to throw Matt in. Shane Helms the reporter then comes in, asking if the feud is cursed, but he gets thrown in too (this one seen as he flails around the shallows). Hurricane reemerges to help PP fight Santana, Ortiz and Gangrel but Santana saves Sammy by hitting Hardy with a pipe as the two wander into the darkness of the woods, the heel allies in control as they follow.  Sammy stalks Hardy with a hammer with his friends also in view, but Hardy calls for Skarsgard, Sammy quickly rolling out of the way from the dilapidated boat’s all-or-nothing dive, Neo 1 is also in sight though, and Hardy commands him to lock Hardy and Sammy inside the ‘dome of deletion’, locking Sammy’s allies out. A ring, tables, ladders, chairs, mowers of lawns, wheels of chairs, a pram, a casket, the dome has it all, but Sammy instead unhooks the ropes to hit Hardy with the Turnbuckle bars, choking him with the middle rope. Sammy lays Matt on a Table near a ladder as high as the roof, landing the swanton but only gets 2. Hardy gets a Twist of Fate which seems to hurt his neck, Hardy then spears him into tables outside the ring, where we see Sammy with a small blood pool behind his head (a worked one, the camera angle on the dive ensured you didn’t see the concrete so it was definitely safe) Sammy struggles to stand as Hardy sets up a chair, hitting him on the head with the edge like his legit injury, telling Sammy ‘You made me what I am’ he cracks Sammy with a Con-Chair-To for the pin. After the match, Matt calls Private Party in to ‘take out the trash’, putting Sammy in a wheelie bin, a cut to the outside allows Sammy to be swapped out for kayfabe, as the bin’s loaded into the back of Senor Benjamin’s truck (Benjamin getting a huge pop) as Reby ends the match playing the piano to some highlights.Matt, PP, Skarsgard, Reby and Hurricane then celebrate to fireworks. As cinematic matches go it was good for ending the feud and continuing the Hardy Compound narrative, commentary did sometimes take you out of it and there were less supernatural stuff going on in this one, it was more found footage than the usual cinematic Deletion matches, but lots of quips, lots of fourth wall winks and both men did really well, can’t complain. Intermission Promo After the deletion match, commentary is told about Lance Archer being on a rampage backstage, which leads to a promo by Jake and Lance as he is wasting some jobber against the wall. Jake notes how they are tired of training and that they’re demanding that someone stand up to Archer, Archer waxes lyrical about his intent to break everyone in AEW because Everybody Dies. Archer’s promo game continues to be on the up, which will make you wonder about how long can the Snake coil around him? Right to Join Inner Circle: MJF def. Chris Jericho (Pinfall via Roll-Up) MJF claimed that he would do ANYTHING to beat Jericho, he began with the mind games by doing the Y2J pose in a fairy light robe, getting the fake pop from the fans who were expecting the Demo God. Jericho does get the pop by cutting MJF’s music short in a skull-themed spiked jacket as Diamante wins the ‘Incoherent Judasing’ moment of the night using Ivelisse’s hand as a mic. The chorus of Judas echoing as the limited crowd echo the arena to Jericho’s subdued delight. Sparing a thought for Aubrey though, who has to call this match despite both of them hating her XD MJF tries to start by feeding from the crowd, but the crowd only boo him and cheer Jericho, he gestures to a handshake amidst ‘You Suck’ chants but Jericho slaps him instead. Jericho held an early advantage but MJF got some advantage with a few clotheslines, but his adversity to the crowd once again gives away the advantage. Jericho pulls his camera middle finger spot after powerslamming him on the outside (shout out to KiLynn King as well for all her crowd enthusiasm). Dodging a Judas Effect leads to an injured arm to Jericho after his elbow hit the very busy today ring post, which he focuses on since it’s key for his Salt of the Earth, biting (which has also had a busy night) also ensues between both men but MJF capitalises on his counters and submissions. The heel nature comes out in Jericho with an eye poke, shoulder barges and a lionsault fire up the crowd and a Frankensteiner turning back the clock. MJF though returns to the arm with that double stomp while Jericho’s holding the rope, shoving the veteran as he spouts insults at him, a back and forth leads to MJF locking in the Salt of the Earth on the injured arm but Jericho shifts him into the Walls of Jericho as MJF chews the crawl to the rope. Aubrey’s enmity of both men comes into play when MJF uses her to shield him from Jericho’s kicks, a failed Heatseeker leads to a mid-rope Codebreaker instead from MJF, followed by a successful Heatseeker for 2. He tries the Lionsault but lands on his feet, and instead gets hit with Jericho’s Codebreaker for 2 as well. An Inside Cradle for 2 leads to Jericho trying the Judas Effect, but MJF catches it and cinches in the Salt of the Earth, but Jericho makes it to the ropes. Wardlow was noticeable absent from ringside at the start, having left after MJF’s entrance, but he was called to the ring by MJF to give him the Diamond Ring, his presence distracting Aubrey, MJF misses though and Jake Hager (who was also noticeably absent from the Elite Deletion) reveals himself on the other side throwing the Painmaker Bat to Jericho, Jericho winds up but MJF gives him the finger and drops Eddie Guerrero style. Aubrey turns to see the supposed outcome leading to Jericho turning his back, roll-up by MJF with a handful of tights gives him the win and membership.

Post-Match, Jericho cuts the music as MJF offers a handshake again, Jericho though this time takes it, hugs him and welcomes him and Wardlow to the Inner Circle. Wardlow holds the ropes for MJF, MJF holds the ropes for Jericho but nobody holds the ropes for Hager - who continues to stare off with Hager.

As a wrestling match it was good, for the situation I felt it was a little underwhelming. MJF said he’d do anything but we didn’t see anything outside of his usual tricks. Narratively it works to see MJF and Jericho stick together and we can only wait and see what stories will come out of it. AEW Revolution promo & Best Friends Interview The first PPV of next year is hyped for a February 27th showing. Dasha interviews Orange Cassidy asking his thoughts on his win, OC replies that he ‘has no thoughts’. Miro, Kip and Penelope however roll up as Kip demands an apology from OC for almost putting Penelope in harm’s way during a prior Dynamite. OC does apologise but Kip slaps him, saying that it wasn’t good enough, OC stops the Best Friends about to jump Miro and Kip and says ‘cool’ before walking away.

AEW World Championship ‘I Quit’ Match: Jon Moxley (c) def. Eddie Kingston (Kingston quits via Barbed Wire Bulldog Choke) Kingston rolled up in a shirt saying something that cameras failed to highlight despite his gesturing, (commentary later reveal that it was in homage to the late Tracey Smothers who recently passed away) his eyes like vengeance. Moxley struts in a Goldberg-esque entrance without the security, once again coming from the side of the stadium - this time no dumbass fan trying to charge him. Kingston stares daggers and shouts bloody murder at him during his entrance as Mox tries to get in his groove. Bryce Remsburg is also reffing this match, adding the personal level since Eddie revealed after his last Moxley match that the three go back.

Moxley got the first part of the venom, hammering punches until Kingston got to his knees, chops were traded as Moxley tried a takedown, only to get his ear bitten (biting man...) by Kingston. Slap trades follow as Kingston works on throws and cutting Moxley at the legs, Moxley hitting a tope when Kingston went to get a chair. Moxley then twists Kingston’s fingers key to his finisher, a suplex on concrete leads to the first ask but Kingston refuses, a Crossface/Bulldog Choke is countered by Kingston biting the arm. Throwing 2 chairs into the ring, a busted Moxley retaliates with the Barbed Wire Bat before kicking down the chair setup. Eddie also is busted in the mouth, then the forehead when the bat is pressed against his head - Moxley claiming that he ‘don’t wanna do this’. Kingston disarms Moxley with some Backdrops and throws a chair at Moxley, Moxley then gouges both eyes of Kingston but the Mad King throttles him. A small botch at Kingston was meant to drop Mox on the bat was rectified with more chair shots, Kingston hurts himself by wrapping barbed wire over his hand to pound into Moxley as he laughs maniacally, Uranken and a Kimura follows so Moxley has to break the hold the best way to hurt someone at Full Gear - Bite Him! Kingston restores the chair layout he had before, setting up for a suplex, Mox swaps though and lands Kingston on the flat of one chair. Kingston clotheslines Moxley to get time to get a black bag, which JR quips ‘well, it’s not a bag of chocolate’ - I mean you don’t know that JR! But alas, it wasn’t, it was your traditional thumbtacks, those silver hershey’s kisses (so hey it is a bag of chocolate), after trading suplexes Moxley snaps a vicious clothesline all away from the tacks, Moxley tries a Paradigm Shift on the tacks but Kingston does a twisting Urinage, planting him back first into the tacks - half on the elbow, half on the back. Kingston returns to the Rubbing Alcohol from Doc Sampson’s desk after learning that Moxley didn’t quit, low blows hurt Moxley but the champion only gives him the finger, Eddie then uses the alcohol on the punctured back (which I said at the same time as commentary). Kingston again hurts himself punching Mox with a handful of tacks, he goes for the barbed wire a second time but again changes his mind, going for the Bulldog Choke, Mox refuses still, with thumbtacks still in his head as Kingston lays in on the head shots, he dodges a knee and hooks in the Rear Naked Choke, turns him into the Suzuki Piledriver and then the Bulldog Choke, knowing that Kingston needs to be conscious Moxley changes to a Paridigm Shift, locating the Barbed Wire as he tells Kingston there’s ‘No Other Way Out’, asking him not to make him do this as he wraps his hand around the wire, Kingston only gives him the finger. Moxley considers turning away, but then launches into the barbed-wire enforced Bulldog Choke, Remsburg pleading with Eddie to quit as a vacant expression covers Moxley’s face, telling Kingston that ‘it’s done’, Eddie finally quits and Mox immediately lets go, a somber look on his face as his friend lays fallen.

Post-Match, Moxley tells the camera that ‘that’s what makes a champion: heart, blood and soul - Blood and Guts!’, whether that alludes to the special we were meant to have pre-COVID is yet to be seen. He then pulls Kingston up but Kingston sways away, leaving the ring on his own. Omega then comes out to the ramp to remind Moxley of his presence and their championship match in the due future.

A hard-hitting match, you knew that Kingston and Moxley would deliver on the hardcore level and a little on the emotive level. Sadly this match did suffer from WWE giving fans an inch-perfect I Quit Match in Hell in a Cell, so the bar was very high and it unfortunately could not reach that level. Again I’m surprised that factions didn’t get involved, Kingston’s family didn’t even go with Eddie to the ring, a surprise PAC appearance was hoped but we can’t be too torn up about that. Overall it was still a good title match, albeit an inevitable outcome given that Moxley and Omega have more history.

Conclusion Though there were a few small mistakes, there was not a weak spot in this PPV. On the other hand there wasn’t a match that blew me away, it was overall a well-done PPV: worth the money but there could’ve been more. There was meant to be a tease of a debut as well but I guess that was just rumor rather than an actual promise by the company. I will critique the Team Tazz stuff again because it really puts down Darby’s championship win, some matches could’ve ended more emphatically and the Buy-In needed more matches. Also just a personal thing but they overdid the biting spots, spots like those have a 2 match threshold at best on a card. But narratively we got a lot going on, a lot of consequences for the matches on the card including the Buy In and the Bucks did make good on their FTR promise by being Match of the Night. Elite Deletion and Silver/OC was a bit of light fun, the Women’s Match was strong, the opener hard hitting and we begin our build to Revolution.

[kristinartg476]

Blog Post 5b: Refined Rationales

Project title: JVs Diner Rebrand

1. The Challenge:

This freelance project consisted of a total rebrand of the businesses assets, updating and organizing menu content, and improving overall readability throughout the identity. The main challenge for this project was increasing the overall cohesiveness of the brand's style using only the existing logo for creative direction. The rebrand needed to feel current but also touch on its retro diner roots. Finally, the brand's presence needed to flow between physical space and online/social media space. 

2. The Approach:

The main concern was making all the elements within the brand stylistically cohesive.  The colours and shapes in the existing logo became the starting point for developing the style and identity. This treatment was kept in mind when designing for the brand to achieve a cohesive identity for the diner. 

Organization and readability was another huge focus for this project. Taking the large menu and organizing it into smaller, easy to read sections made the content feel less intimidating for the users to read. The elements used for stylistic purposes also became an organization system within the design of the menu, solving a lot of the businesses problems with readability of content.

Improving the online and social media presence was another focus of this project. Designing elements that could work on both paper menus and digitally made the elements of the brand multi-functional and universal in use. Adapting to an online presence was important in marketing towards current customers as well as gaining new ones.

3. What I did:

The final deliverables for this project include:

Menu Redesigns Takeout menus and in house wall menus were both redesigned with the new organization system and visual treatments. These deliverables were crucial to the project and aided in presenting the content in a readable way. 

Signage New signage was designed and updated to be cohesive with the brand.

Advertisements (print & digital) Print and digital advertisements helped present the brand's new identity to the public and advertise to different audiences.

Project title: Green Thumb: A Beginner's Complete Guide to Gardening (Independent Design Research Project)

1. The Challenge:

Green Thumb is an independent design research project focussed on introducing beginners to gardening and providing beginner-friendly resources. The main challenge for this project consisted of encouraging individuals to use gardening as a way to incorporate healthy food into their diets, and accomplish this is a budget-friendly way. 

2. The Approach:

Beginners are often intimidated by trying something new and complex. Green Thumbs brand has been designed to be friendly and welcoming to comfort the fear of stepping outside ones comfort zone. Soft illustrations and a friendly tone help to make the brand feel approachable and the goals feel attainable so the individual isn't overwhelmed. The main focus of Green Thumb was to provide the information first since it is a learning resource and use the design to enhance the information.

Another focus was on providing a complete set of resources. There are other resources available out there but it is extremely difficult to find a useable resource that is helpful in every step of the gardening process as well as in different areas of gardening. Green Thumb was designed to not only cover the gardening process from start to finish, but also in teaching the beginner useful tips, techniques, and activities for gardening. 

3. What I did:

The final deliverables for this project include:

Logo and Branding The branding had to be approachable to users and feel friendly and inviting. The branding and logo were a perfect opportunity to set the tone of the brand. This was done through the treatment of the design. The warm earthy colour palette, hand-drawn illustrations, and friendly typography set the tone of the brand and encourage individuals to engage and learn. 

Illustrations Hand-drawn illustrations were used throughout this project as a source of cohesive branding but also as an element to help enhance the information being consumed. These illustrations  

Beginner's Guides to Gardening (3 books) The guides were designed as a set of three to break down the information into reasonably sized chunks. This was done to make the large amounts of information less intimidating to someone just starting. Each guide focusses on a different part of gardening and breaks down the information in an easy to understand way. These guides have been designed to work together as a set, but also on their own, making them very versatile to each beginner's interests and skills.

Starter Kit The starter kit was designed as an easy start for beginners who are interested in gardening but don’T know where to start. This box provides all the necessary items to get started. All contents have been cohesively branded to match Green Thumbs brand and style making it a helpful addition to the learning process and friendly design approach.

Project title: tentree Brand Book

1. The Challenge:

This project consisted of creating a booklet showcasing tentree and the brands unique and stylish products. The main challenge here was highlighting their sustainable and ethical efforts in not only clothing production but also in reforestation. Tentree’s belief that big change starts small is reflected throughout their branding which needed to be captured within the booklet to accurately showcase the brand and its uniqueness.

2. The Approach:

It was important to highlight the brands efforts towards sustainability in the production of their clothing line. This commitment to change needed to be reflected on throughout the booklet in order to properly communicate the right message. 

3. What I did:

Illustrations Hand drawn illustrations were created for use throughout the booklet. Clothing, models, and the materials used in production were used in the layouts to provide a cohesive and visual understanding for the information being presented. 

Page Layout & Copy Writing Achieving the right tone for the brand within the booklet was an important aspect of the project. The copy writing provided a perfect opportunity to capture the essence of the brand and infuse it into the booklet seamlessly. 

[wellesleyunderground]

Wellesley Underground Interview with Founders (Sara Hess ‘08 and Shavanna Calder ‘08) of Feminist Fashion & Beauty Magazine, MUJER!

Need a break from the politics? Dive into the making of Issue No.2 of MUJER! Magazine. Interview by Camylle Fleming ‘14.

1. Wellesley Underground (WU): Tell us about the origin of MUJER! Magazine and bring us up to speed on the November launch.

Sara Hess ‘08, Editor in Chief: MUJER! has been a long time coming for us. Ever since Shavanna and I were swapping clothes from each other’s closets when we were roommates at Wellesley, we’ve had an interest in fashion and over the years we’d often played around with the idea of doing a fashion related project together. MUJER! came about in late 2017 when I had reached a point of being really frustrated with fashion magazines (all of the ads and the Photoshop, the lack of any real content and focus on hyper consumption). I also was disappointed to see that several of the fashion bloggers I’d followed over the years and enjoyed for their authenticity were following the same route as they transitioned from blogs to Instagram and started posting highly stylized Photoshopped pics that were all sponsored and very phony. Finally, I had recently turned 30 and it then occurred to me that I was older than nearly all the models I saw in the major fashion publications, which is insane when you think about it. I told Shavanna what I was thinking of doing-- a feminist fashion and beauty mag, all models 25+, no Photoshop on their faces or bodies, more racial and ethnic diversity, a focus on more sustainable production and consumption and no ads. Shavanna is an amazing stylist and has a great eye for design so I was super excited when she agreed to be creative director. I was living between Mexico City and New York at the time. I had developed some contacts in the fashion industry in Mexico and really admired the fashion scene there, which is one of the reasons we went with the name MUJER! It took us about 6-7 months to produce the content for the first print edition which was published in September 2018. 

2.WU: How did fashion and beauty become sites of contestation and rebellion for you two?

Sara: I grew up in a small town in rural Pennsylvania and was constantly getting in trouble for breaking the dress code at my public school. It’s ironic because I was definitely a major nerd-- not your typical rebel. In junior high, I was really upset to find out I had not been accepted to the National Junior Honor Society. I asked one of my teachers why and he told me that it was because the shorts that I wore to school were often too short. Honestly, it was not my intention to be risque. I was just awkwardly going through puberty and had legs that were too long for my body and it was impossible to find shorts that were long enough and didn’t look dorky. After that, I went through a punk rocker phase, where again clothing is a form of rebellion. I was totally into the early Gwen Stefani punk looks. I would get picked on a lot by classmates but then a few months later everyone would be wearing what I had been wearing before, which would be my cue to change styles because I never wanted to look like everyone else. For me, it became a way to stand out and to push back against conservative influences. 

Shavanna Calder ‘08, Creative Director: I can’t say that I’ve thought of fashion for most of my life as a site of rebellion. I just wore what I liked and (especially as a kid) what was on trend.

I had hip surgery 5 years ago and have struggled to be able to wear heels after that. In some ways that forced me to rethink how to dress for formal situations (without heels). Though I am working towards wearing heels again through physical therapy (my profession requires it), I’ve found a certain level of pride in showing other women that we can still look dressed up/professional etc. without wearing heels. Also embracing flatforms has been fun! 

I think beauty, more so, has always been a site of contestation and rebellion for me as a Black woman. Growing up and having hair that was different than most of my friends. Makeup and hair supplies that we had to drive an extra distance for. Reading different magazines than my friends because teen vogue (at that time), seventeen etc never catered to me (thank God for Essence). Now, being natural, my hair oftentimes is a point of rebellion/contestation as I educate and ask for the things that I need as a Black artist instead of accepting the burden of sitting in silence. 

Founders Shavanna + Sara (above)

3. WU: On social media, you’ve discussed the initiative of “showing women as they actually exist in the world”. Can you describe some of the images you two grew up with and how they are in conversation with MUJER!

Shavanna: In some ways growing up when I did, I feel like I did get to see images of women (more often) without photoshop and a ton of contouring etc because that just wasn’t on trend. It’s one thing I miss about the early 2000’s. That being said, the rest of the content oftentimes centered around ways to get men, look flirty etc etc. For us I think “showing women as they actually exist in the world” goes beyond imaging to the content of the magazine (the stories and issues that are discussed) as well as the lack of harmful ads encouraging women to alter their bodies by buying certain products etc. We are able to highlight a diverse group of female identifying folx and the complexity of us instead of the monolith that I often see portrayed.

4. WU: What are the ways in which your Mexico City base contributes to the core principles of MUJER!

Sara: Mexico City is just my heart and soul. I don’t know how else to describe it. It makes me turn to mush as though I’m talking about someone I’m in love with. The creative and design scene here is out of this world funky and unique and I really feel that I can wear anything going out here at night. People are elegant and cool and put a great deal of thought into how they present themselves. The fashion scene is authentic and fun and nowhere near as pretentious as it is in other parts of the world. We try to reflect this creativity and sincerity in MUJER! as well.

Shavanna: Additionally I’ll say that people have really embraced us there. There is an openness, flexibility and sense of collaboration that has made it super easy to throw any ideas we have out there and run with it (more than I’ve seen in other parts of the world).

5. WU: For those of us who are new to publication production, can you walk us through the steps of creating content, finding models, artwork, all without the filler of advertisements?

Sara: We are also new to magazine production, ha! We started by basically bringing together people we knew from the fashion world here in Mexico City. I have a dear friend, Jenny. She’s a stylist from Sweden and was working on the sets of reality shows here so she kind of kicked me into gear to do the first beauty shoot. She had a lot of experience doing shoots so she helped me get a great photographer and scout a location and models. We’ve really been blessed with meeting all of the right people at the right moment. We found a wonderful lead graphic designer, Celina Arrazola who happened to know the neighborhood where all the printers are and was an expert in hand binding books. Advertisements were never an option so we self-finance the production, which was and is intense.

Shavanna: Yes, as Sara mentioned we’re incredibly new to this and are (honestly) still figuring a lot out as we go. However, generally we come up with ideas/stories together that excite us, that we haven’t seen in other fashion magazines. We then reach out to female identifying folx to help us realize these ideas (because we want to support female entrepreneurs as well). The hardest part will be figuring out how to make it sustainable (and take the more of the financial burden off of Sara) and we’re in the process of sorting that out the best way we can!

5a. WU: Okay, same question. Add COVID, go:

Sara: Now, because of COVID, our plans to do another print edition were derailed so we decided to do a digital edition-- everyone featured sent in their own photos and instead of printing we created a PDF version of the magazine, with Celina’s excellent graphic design of course.

It essentially made printing the way we did with the first edition impossible. That was a very manual process that involved visiting the printer in person multiple times and Celina handbound the magazine, with me struggling to be useful to her by folding the pages. This time we went all digital.

Shavanna: In addition we had to become creative since we could no longer conduct shoots or interviews in person. Everything was done via email (except for Sultana’s shoot which happened pre-COVID). All other photos were submitted by the women in the issue. Whilst I missed many aspects of being in person, in some ways the challenge allowed us to lean in to our mission of showing women as we truly are. It also allowed for us to have a remote intern via Wellesley which was awesome!

6. WU: How do you want to grapple with the plurality of feminism(s) in the pages of the magazine?

Shavanna: By being truly intentional about seeking out diverse voices. By celebrating those voices and by taking our readers feedback to heart. Outside of the folx who are interviewed or featured in our magazine we attempt to employ women in the creation of the physical product as well (design, photography etc). The end result is something that has been touched by women from various parts of the world and from different walks of life.

7. WU: Can you share the story of how the magazine gained its title? How do you respond to any pushback and claims of appropriation from Latinx individuals for your usage of the word “Mujer”?

Sara: For starters, we were founded in Mexico City and at least half of our readers are native Spanish speakers. The publication, like many of its readers, is also bilingual. For the interviews and articles that are originally done in Spanish, we leave them in Spanish, only translating key quotes into English and vice versa for pieces that are originally in English. The title is also a global call to women that goes beyond the English-language paradigm.

8.WU: The fashion and beauty industry can carry both an air of superficiality and apoliticism. Tell us what people get wrong about the experience of working within it.

Sara: I think this is hard for us to get into because we are not really working in the fashion and beauty industry-- we are working parallel to it and trying to pick the piece we enjoy while also creating something new and different for women that makes them feel empowered, not inadequate.

Shavanna: Yes neither Sara nor I really work within the industry (nor have we prior to the magazine). I’ve worked as a stylist from time to time, but that’s about it. For the most part we’ve been consumers who were unhappy with what we were consuming and figured we could do something about it.

9. WU: In an effort to not over-glorify the value of success and “making it”, let’s talk about failure. Can you share with our readers what went wrong in the process of producing MUJER!?

Sara: Before our Chilanga shoot, Shavanna and I got horrible food poisoning. Like, nearly had to go to the hospital.

Shavanna: Yes we were living on pepto bismol and had just started eating plain bread and pasta the day of our shoot, but we powered through! Honestly this magazine has felt like a contribution to society that we were meant to be a part of, so despite obstacles that have come up, we know that we can’t be sidetracked.

10. WU: How do you react to the “self-care” trend and it’s correlation to the consumption of beauty products? Relatedly, how do you two take care of yourselves?

Sara: I’m an introvert who fakes being an extrovert, but I definitely know I need alone time so I try to make space for that. As of late, I try to use more natural/ organic beauty products and just less of everything period. Also sleep. Sleep is so important. Finally, I’ve decided I will deal with drama in my professional life because I feel like that’s where I’m making a contribution that’s important but I try to minimize drama in my personal life as much as possible.

Shavanna: I try to take care of myself by reminding myself that rest is ok and necessary (so hard). Practicing my faith/meditation. Asking for what I need. Going to therapy (physical and mental health). Exercising. Connecting with loved ones (friends and family). Being kind to myself.

11. WU: As a follower of your Insta page, I find myself lingering on your original posts, staring into the faces of the individuals you capture. It makes me realize how my brain has been trained to see the same faces featured in public spaces, so much so that they’ve become invisible. Can you share the favorite photos that you’ve captured and why they stand out to you?

Shavanna: My favorite photos are of Wellesley alumna Solonje Burnett. I’ve always admired Solonje’s fearlessness and creativity and I think we truly captured her essence in these. Though she is beautiful, the interview is about so much more and highlights her as the complex, multifaceted woman that she is (instead of just her beauty routine or what her house looks like).

12. WU: What does the day in the life of an Editor-in-Chief look like? How about a Creative Director?

Shavanna: We’re very collaborative. I don’t think we really have hard and fast rules as to who does what necessarily as much as it’s a partnership. One of us will propose an idea (in between juggling the rest of our lives) and we’ll discuss pros and cons and greenlight what works best and aligns with our values. We also just hold each other accountable. Right now there isn’t a typical day in the life as well just because we both have other jobs (though it would be amazing for Mujer! to continue to take off in a way that allowed us to devote more time to it). 

13. WU: Both of you currently have worked with higher education institutions (Harvard + NYU). Can you tell us a bit about your “day jobs” and the types of opportunities they have afforded you in relation to the Magazine?

Sara: While I was working at HBS, I co-authored a case study on Monocle magazine which has helped to inform some of our thinking around the business model for MUJER!

Shavanna: I worked for almost 7 years at NYU, first at Stern and then within the Faculty of Arts & Science. In terms of opportunities? I’d say actually, for me, anyway the two aren’t related. My time at NYU influenced my acting career more so than Mujer! by giving me some flexibility and certainly financial stability.

14. WU: Lastly - a question you ask your features in the upcoming digital issue: how have you been gentle with yourself during this time?

Sara: Uff, I have been eating a lot of ice cream and taking breaks when I need to. I turned off the New York Times news alerts on my phone. I still read the news everyday but this has helped a lot.

Shavanna: Uff indeed. Hm sometimes I remind myself that the fact that I’m functioning is enough. This quote from Audre Lorde has been getting me through: “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” 

Working out and going for walks, journaling, therapy, being in touch with my spirituality, limiting myself on social media (or at least certain groups or accounts), listening to my body in terms of what it wants (whether that be food or change of environment). Talking to friends when I have the energy always brightens my day and constantly reminding myself to take things one moment/day at a time. This is all incredibly hard and I’m grateful to those who have been gentle with me when I struggle to be gentle with myself.

Check out the MUJER! Covid-19 digital issue here: https://www.mujerrev.com/mujer-sale Given the increase in domestic violence and gender based violence around the world during the pandemic, a portion of the proceeds from the issue will go to two organizations helping womxn that are survivors of domestic abuse and human trafficking: Women of Color Network - Blue Lips Campaign and El Pozo de Vida.

MUJER! Homepage: https://www.mujerrev.com/ MUJER! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mujerrev/

[alysemeadfad]

Portraiture

Group practical

we sat parallel to another person, we had our pencils stabbed through paper so we could not see the paper below and we had to focus only on the face and not look down, basically a blind drawing as far as looking at the drawing but we could see what the object was as we drew it.

i did the same thing again in graphite and had got a better understanding of proportion considering we could not see the drawing.

we then chose a unique image of ourselves, well mine was rather unique and we did a rough sketch to help us decide what we wanted to draw for our social realism drawing, i was quite impressed by my sketch the proportions were not half bad.

photo REALISM

i chose to just do the center of my face as i felt it would look the best in the social realism style, i then grid my drawing in 4 by 5 squares and did the same to my paper before then beginning my drawing of the outline and basic shapes in order for me to add tone and texture later on 

what is photo realism?

photo realism is a form of art where a drawing or painting looks absolutely identical to the object or photo it has been drawn from, so much so you cant tell the difference between the two, it takes time, patients and a lot of skill.

but most of the art community don’t consider this to be an art form.

Many would argue that the technical skill required to make Photorealism art can be exceeded by a decent color photocopier or a computer, thus avoid to use the word art in such context, but this discussion brings us to an analogy of photography. If photography is merely capturing an image of what is already there, where is the art in that? It is right there in the photographer’s perspective, the exact choice made by the person wielding the camera in what to capture and from which angle, moment and perspective. If a person creating a photorealistic recreation of a photograph doesn’t have that “artistic” input of a photographer, then what is artistic about the process? Some would say even those renditions are not strict interpretations of photographs, instead, they incorporate additional, often subtle, pictorial elements to create the illusion of a reality which does not actually exist, or cannot be perceived by the human eye.

In the end, as in many things in art, and life in general, the final conclusion remains behind the individual perspective

Da Vinci

Long recognised as one of the great artists of the Renaissance, Leonardo da Vinci was also a pioneer in the understanding of human anatomy. Had his ground-breaking work been published, it would have transformed European knowledge of the subject.

https://www.rct.uk/collection/themes/exhibitions/leonardo-da-vinci/the-queens-gallery-palace-of-holyroodhouse/explore-the-exhibition#/

At the outset of Leonardo’s career, anatomical illustration was in its infancy. To convey the three-dimensional form of the body and to show how it moves, Leonardo had to develop a whole range of new illustrative techniques. His challenges were in many ways the same as those faced by anatomists today, and some of Leonardo’s drawings are remarkably similar in approach to modern medical imagery, such as MRI and CT scans and 3D computer modelling.

Studies of Human Proportion

While studying Vitruvius for his work on the Milan and Pavia cathedrals, Leonardo became captivated by the ancient Roman architect’s detailed studies of human proportions and measurements. In addition, when he was measuring horses for the Sforza monument, he became interested in how they related to human proportions. Comparative anatomy appealed to his instinct for finding patterns across different subjects. So in 1490 he began measuring and drawing the proportions of the human body.

The construction lines and all of the annotation almost take away from the actual subject and become more of the focus, which was the main idea anyway It was not meant to be a work of art, but rather a manual for how to create it.

Da vinci was a polymath, a person of wide knowledge or learning. He was not only an artist but a scientist, sculpture and an architect.

Frida Kahlo

was a Mexican painter known for her many portraits, self-portraits, and works inspired by the nature and artifacts of Mexico. Inspired by the country’s popular culture, she employed a naïve folk art style to explore questions of identity, postcolonialism, gender, class, and race in Mexican society. Her paintings often had strong autobiographical elements and mixed realism with fantasy. In addition to belonging to the post-revolutionary Mexicayotl movement, which sought to define a Mexican identity, Kahlo has been described as a surrealist or magical realist.

Kahlo’s paintings often feature root imagery, with roots growing out of her body to tie her to the ground. This reflects in a positive sense the theme of personal growth; in a negative sense of being trapped in a particular place, time and situation; and in an ambiguous sense of how memories of the past influence the present for either good and/or ill.[110] In My Grandparents and I, Kahlo painted herself as a ten-year holding a ribbon that grows from an ancient tree that bears the portraits of her grandparents and other ancestors while her left foot is a tree trunk growing out of the ground, reflecting Kahlo’s view of humanity’s unity with the earth and her own sense of unity with Mexico.[111] In Kahlo’s paintings, trees serve as symbols of hope, of strength and of a continuity that transcends generations.[112] Additionally, hair features as a symbol of growth and of the feminine in Kahlo’s paintings and in Self Portrait with Cropped Hair, Kahlo painted herself wearing a man’s suit and shorn of her long hair, which she had just cut off.[113] Kahlo holds the scissors with one hand menacingly close to her genitals, which can be interpreted as a threat to Rivera – whose frequent unfaithfulness infuriated her – and/or a threat to harm her own body like she has attacked her own hair, a sign of the way that women often project their fury against others onto themselves.[114] Moreover, the picture reflects Kahlo’s frustration not only with Rivera, but also her unease with the patriarchal values of Mexico as the scissors symbolize a malevolent sense of masculinity that threatens to “cut up” women, both metaphorically and literally.[114] In Mexico, the traditional Spanish values of machismo were widely embraced, and as a woman, Kahlo was always uncomfortable with machismo.[114]

image taken at the MoMa in Nyc

Fulang-Chang and I depicts Kahlo with one of her pet monkeys, interpreted by many as surrogates for the children she and Diego Rivera were unable to conceive. The painting was included in the first major exhibition of her work, held at Julien Levy Gallery in New York in 1938. In the essay that accompanied the show, the Surrealist leader André Breton described Kahlo’s work as “a ribbon around a bomb” and hailed her as a self-created Surrealist painter. Although she appreciated his enthusiasm for her work, Kahlo did not agree with his assessment: “They thought I was a Surrealist but I wasn’t. I never painted dreams. I painted my own reality.” Kahlo later gave this painting to her close friend Mary Sklar, attaching a mirror to it so that, if Sklar chose, the two friends could be together.

Tai Shan Schierenberg

Tai Shan Schierenberg lives and works in London. He graduated from the Slade School of Art in 1987 and in 1989 won first prize in the National Portrait Gallery’s John Player Portrait Award. He was then commissioned to paint Sir John Mortimer for the Gallery. The National Portrait Gallery also holds his portraits of Lord Carrington from 1994, Lord Sainsbury, 2002 and most recently Seamus Heaney from 2004. Other noted commissions include Professor Stephen Hawking, Sir John Madejski and a double portrait of Queen Elizabeth II and the Duke of Edinburgh. For Schierenberg, there is an emotional charge that comes from the different textures and densities, and ultimately the light conditions, that occur in a place at a certain time. He describes his process in 2010: Painting and painting and painting, endlessly exploring ideas in paint on canvas, always painting my way. Finding that over time I can’t see the trees for the paint. Sometimes its good to try a new way, a different path, expose oneself to the vagaries of chance - and see the trees again.

Before he finishes a commission, Tai-Shan Schierenberg usually splatters a bit of paint in the corner of the portrait. It’s not a stylistic move – the brushstrokes in his paintings are fluid but the images themselves are representative – but rather one which gives the subject something to complain about.

in the image above you can clearly see the texture and markings on the canvas, the artist uses oil paint on canvas and applies it using a pallet knife and a large brush, making various large strokes in the work. this gives a rough texture and edge to the piece.

These instinctive visual images refuse to betray the plasticity of the medium. Unlike Freud, Schierenberg sees paint simultaneously as flesh. It is exactly this technique that establishes the major paradoxes characteristic of his work. It is both abstract and realist, edgy and sensitive, grand and inconclusive, violent and melancholic, physically intense and aesthetically detache

Lucian Freud

was influenced by surrealism, but by the early 1950s his often stark and alienated paintings tended towards realism. Freud was an intensely private and guarded man, and his paintings, completed over a 60-year career, are mostly of friends and family. They are generally somber and thickly impastoed, often set in unsettling interiors and city scapes. The works are noted for their psychological penetration and often discomforting examination of the relationship between artist and model. Freud worked from life studies, and was known for asking for extended and punishing sittings from his models.

one of my chosen artists, tai shan sheirenberg seems to be heavily influenced by the style of lucian freud yet he made his own style, they both use the same meduims, oil on canvas also.

here in the colder tones we have a painting by lucian freud, you can see the texture of the brush strikes that help carve out the facial features.

here is a painting by tai shan, the tones are a lot warmer, they are not of the same person tho they look similar, you can see the brush strokes again on this image that help carve out the facial features, tho they are a lot more prominent in this painting as thats tai shans style, you see paint before you see the face .

Interpreting line

The Visual Element of Line is the foundation of all drawing. It is the first and most versatile of the visual elements. Line in an artwork can be used in many different ways. It can be used to suggest shape, pattern, form, structure, growth, depth, distance, rhythm, movement and a range of emotions.

We have a psychological response to different types of lines:

Curved lines suggest comfort and ease

Horizontal lines suggest distance and calm

Vertical lines suggest height and strength

Jagged lines suggest turmoil and anxiety

The way we draw a line can convey different expressive qualities:

Freehand lines can express the personal energy and mood of the artist

Mechanical lines can express a rigid control

Continuous lines can lead the eye in certain directions

Broken lines can express the ephemeral or the insubstantial

Thick lines can express strength

Thin lines can express delicacy

[segenassefa]

3. A Semi-Original List of Things To Do During Quarantine

Niggas all over the timelines are baking banana bread, doing headstands, and making Tik Toks. Yeah it was fun the first few weeks – but now we’re almost four months deep into quarantine and the gworls need some change! A bit of variety. Some pizazz, if you will.

Well, fear not!

I am here to help (as per usual). Digging into the depths of my chicken breast-like brain has been hard, but I’ve done it to compile a list of things to try now that quarantine is dragging along. Some of these you’ve definitely heard before (but they were so good, it was worth mentioning again), some of these you may have considered but never really saw the value in, and some of these seem like I pulled them out of my ass, but I promise, they’re a fun time and definitely worth the try.

Take up a new workout routine now that gyms will probably cease to exist.

I can’t even speak on this one (my record this quarantine has been four days without leaving my bed), but health comes in different forms. Even back in the early stages, one of my favourite things to do was get a coffee and aimlessly walk around downtown – it got me out of the house, it didn’t feel like exercise, and was an excuse to take advantage of the warm weather. Exercise is both important for physical as well as mental health, as cited by a million and one studies, and can break up the monotonous cycles of online shopping, self-loathing, and eating that everyone seems to be trapped in these days. Your options, however, go beyond yoga and walking. Buy some weights or use one of the jars of canned tomatoes you have sitting your pantry (…) and do a weight routine. Go for a run. Climb some stairs. Bring back step aerobics like the bad bitches from the 80s. Ride a bike (Queen’s Quay is really nice, and pretty empty on the weekdays). The other benefit to establishing a good routine now is that you can carry it out through the winter. Maybe not the bike riding part, but you get my point.

Socialize (safely).

           I never understood the obsession with patios until I went to El Jefe a few weeks ago, and it got me thinking about how fun that actually must be when everyone isn’t terrified of getting a virus from the person eating chips and guac two tables over. But! There are alternatives! I know you don’t believe me but there are! Toronto has more parks and green spaces than you’d think, and now is the perfect time to take advantage of them. Connect with nature, friends, and socializing in an environmentally friendly space (throw those White Claw cans in the trash, please) and you and your friends will literally be the peak of ecofeminism. If you’re tired of wearing your crop tops and lashes to the grocery store, picnics and beach days also give you a reason to look cute in public again (and with a mask, you don’t even have to put foundation on the bottom half of your face. #win). Some of my favourite places include Trinity-Bellwood Park and Woodbine Beach. If you have a car (or a lot of patience) Scarborough Bluffs is also definitely worth the commute. I think it’s a game changer that “going out” now means sitting in the grass making small talk, instead of getting hammered in some dark, damp club, but maybe it’s also improvement.

Clear out the clutter that you always tell yourself you’re too busy for.

           I know you see it, bitch. That box of clothes overflowing in the back of your closets. Or the basket of random hair ties, scraps of paper, and pen caps on your shelf. What about when you open social media – Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, whatever – a see all these random people on your feed that you don’t remember following, much less ever meeting in real life. Quarantine has forced us to retreat to our own spaces, physically, mentally and emotionally, and now more than ever is the best time to reflect and take inventory of what brings you joy and (God forbid we’re in this situation again) what you’d be ok with surrounding yourself with 24/7. It may be hard – times of crisis especially encourage a scarcity mindset instead of an abundance one – but it doesn’t hurt to try and reframe your thinking!

The 3 Restaurant Rule

If you’re anything like me, then you love Uber Eats. Since this virus has stripped the joy of going out to eat from my small and soft hands, we’ve had to find ways to work around this. One of these compromises has been Uber Eats. But that, much like anything else in life, can soon get repetitive (and niggas were clowning me for actually enjoying Swiss Chalet. Fuck y’all.) So, I established some ground rules, one of which being the three-restaurant rule. Do I follow it all the time? No. But knowing that it exists had made trying new foods more like a game. Here’s what you do:

1.     First, pick a type of cuisine (I’m partial to sushi, so we’re going to use that for this example).

2.     Next, really study Uber Eats. Find the best restaurants in your area specializing in that kind of food and pick three restaurants that look the best to you. Another alternative (especially if you’re lucky enough to live downtown where a majority of restaurants are doing take out) would be to curate a list of places on Yelp! I loved doing this when outside was open – it made eating out feel a bit more purposeful, almost like it was for research).

3.     Then, keep a lil list – on your phone, on paper, in your camera roll - wherever. When you’re not in the mood to cook, consult the list, and don’t pick a restaurant twice in a row. Start building up a list of places that you can say you’ve tried. Keep tabs on how you felt about the food to compare it to in-person dining when restaurants re-open, or make it an event with friends. Dress up, get together, crack a bottle of wine (or some beers, or sake, ya know – whatever floats your boat) and make it an event.

The other upside to this is now when people ask me for recommendations, I can give them with confidence instead of bullshitting like I would have before (sorry y’all LOL).

Learn how to do your own personal upkeep.

           It would probably take me ten hands and feet to count the number of videos I’ve seen of nail salons throwing customers out for being black or on the prejudice of race and/or class, or the number of hair salons and stylists who charge extra fees for thickness, length (or lack thereof), or for specific styles and modifications, etc. If you knew me, you know I was devoted to my nail salon. I loved the feeling of getting a full set of acrylics, having all the work done for me, the little burn on my cuticles when they’d slide my hands under the UV light. But in quarantine, a lot of things happened – nail salons closed, I became unemployed, and suddenly, $60 manicures every two weeks were not realistic. YouTube has so many videos on how to do basic self-care - things like cutting or dyeing or braiding your own hair, doing your own nails (whether it be acrylic, gel, even a basic polish manicure), doing your own eyebrows – the possibilities are all there. And, if you get good enough – you can always go ahead and make it your own side hustle (with salons operating at half capacity, the demand for people that do house calls is rapidly increasing). I’ve recently swapped my acrylics for press on nails and let me tell you – game changer. They last just as long, look just as good, and allow me the freedom of talon-like nails without having my bank account scream at me (a post on how I do my faux-acrylics at home coming soon!)

Try to watch something that isn’t reality television.

I know 90 Day Fiancee is that GIRL. And if you’re like me, you tend to get very sucked into YouTuber mukbang drama as well (if anyone wants to discuss Nikocado Avocado with me, I am more than willing). But after a while, it gets kind of repetitive, and there’s no harm in educating yourself on other topics. Netflix, Amazon Prime Video, Hulu, even YouTube all have so many documentaries on a variety of topics – from crime, to health, to cults – there’s literally something for everyone. Plus, there’s something really self-satisfying about learning something on your own. If you need a place to start, my personal favourite is Bikram (Netflix) and any of the Vice documentaries on YouTube, but there are so many, so browse around and find one that suits your personal taste.

           There are also many documentaries on environmentalism and the Black existence/experience/life in America and globally. Considering all the things that are going on right now, it would be wise to educate oneself, especially when the tools for doing so are a few clicks away. My personal favourites are 13 and Who Shot the Sherriff, but there’s so many that you don’t have an excuse not to at least learn SOMETHING.

Severe ties and blame it on the pandemic.

This one is pretty self-explanatory. Maybe there’s the persistent wanna-be friend who you tried to avoid in your Thursday 11-1 lecture and would incessantly text you for notes. Or the creepy guy who would always be in your study spot in Deerfield and message you after with the dumbass eye emojis. Maybe it’s that one friend you used to call to console you of your issues, but by the end of the chat you felt more unnerved than understood. Whomever it is, don’t be afraid to stray away a bit and use the excuse of social distance or “getting your head together” to gradually give yourself some space and make things a bit obvious without having to be a total asshole. It can help, tbh, and the last thing you need in a time like this is to feel guilty for someone else’s feelings.

Be ok with doing nothing.

Life is always on some go,go,go shit. With people posting all those fucking memes about hustling or whatever, it can be easy to feel like you’re sitting in quarantine wasting your life away because you haven’t joined Forex, or OnlyFans, or started three side businesses, or taught yourself a new language or whatever. But listen – look at quarantine like a break. You had a nice long break to re-cooperate and self-indulge a lil bit and you know what? That’s ok! You’re not less of a person because you chose to rest or hang out in bed more than you should have. Don’t let other people’s progress (or lack thereof) be a measure of your own. How can you expect to bounce back after a GLOBAL PANDEMIC if you spent the entire time beating yourself up for not living up to other people’s idea of success? …Exactly. This list is just for fun and personal growth, but realistically, quarantine is for doing whatever the fuck you want (safely and sanely, of course), but literally look at this time off as God, Allah, Buddha, whomever, pumping the brakes on what is a normally hectic life. Slow down, enjoy the small things (ALL the small things), and allow yourself to be what you are – a human being, not a fucking machine.

[virtchandmoir]

Tessa Virtue steps into the style spotlight for new 'uplifting' fashion campaign

Canadian Olympian talks personal style, women supporting women — and what's next for her off the ice.

August 30, 2019

From left: Ashley Callingbull, Karine Vanasse and Tessa Virtue are featured in a new campaign for Canadian retailer RW&CO.  HANDOUT/RW&CO.

Growing up, Tessa Virtue faced no shortage of strong female role models.

“I was so lucky. I grew up with an incredibly strong grandmother, mother and sister,” Virtue says. “All three, independent, fierce, clever women who were hard workers, had goals and visions for themselves, and were really ambitious.”

“And, they didn’t apologize for those goals.”

The trio’s individual and combined influence left a Virtue with a sense of “limitless,” she recalls.

“I really believed that I could do or be anything,” she says with a smile.

While she didn’t pause to think much on it then, she’s now keenly aware of the fact that her inspirational upbringing, surrounded by a network of strong women who promoted the underlying message of “yes, you can!”, wasn’t always the case for other young girls.

“I didn’t realize that not everyone felt that way. That, not everyone felt that privilege,” she says.

The realization has been a contributing factor to the increased visibility of Virtue in media and advertisements in recent years — primarily those following the 2018 Pyeongchang Olympics where she and ice-dancing partner Scott Moir stole the spotlight for their riveting routines — that allows fans and followers a glimpse into Virtue’s life that goes beyond her on-ice achievements.

“For whatever reasons, after the Pyeongchang games, there was a different awareness of both Scott and me … but it provided so many unique opportunities. And, hopefully I can have some kind of impact for young girls to look up to,” she says humbly. “I feel very privileged to be able to be considered any kind of role model.”

Olympic ice dance gold medallists Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir of Canada hold up the Canadian flag after their winning performance at the Pyeongchang Winter Olympic Games on Tuesday in Pyeongchang-gun, South Korea. PAUL CHIASSON / CANADIAN PRESS

Her visibility on social media platforms such as Instagram, where she boasts a following of 364,000 and counting on her account @tessavirtue17, is one area where she works to constructively (and carefully) share her struggles and successes, in the hopes of leaving a positive impression on those who may happen to scroll by.

“I’m conscious of that. And I try to do that in a way that is authentic,” she says of fully realizing the scope of her role via social media and beyond. “I think, often, about how a nine-year-old girl would feel if she were to scroll through my Instagram. And, what messaging I’m sending, both objectively and subjectively. I think, ‘What kind of role model am I?’”

Focusing on the type of content she shares — positive messages and happy shots of herself attending events or with friends and family —  has kept her somewhat safeguarded from the rampant online trolling that plagues many celebrities online. And, when she does face negativity, she doesn’t allow herself to get too caught up in it.

“You put yourself out there and I think there is always vulnerability with that,” she says. “Whether that’s standing at centre ice and waiting for the music to start, or posting something on social media for everyone to criticize, you just have to hope that the good outweighs the bad.”

Her ambition to present a positive role model to young girls and women led her to a recent collaboration with the Montreal-based fashion brand RW&CO. The campaign, which sees her featured alongside Canadian actress Karine Vanasse and First Nations activist Ashley Callingbull, the first Indigenous woman to be crowned Mrs. Universe, aims to promote “powerhouse” working women, in various stages of their careers.

“The campaign is so in line with my messaging and the things that I’m trying to accomplish now, outside of sport,” Virtue says. “And it’s something that I can relate too, also.”

Virtue hopes people pick up on the collaborative, supportive air of the campaign stars and feel empowered to introduce that outlook into their own lives.

“The culture now of this competition that’s ingrained in us, to pit women against other women, and this unrealistic standard that we’re all held to — all these issues are pervasive,” she says. “We can only be stronger for women when we support one another.”

Speaking on a hot, sunny day in July at a studio space in Montreal during a brief break in shooting images for the campaign (with her mom looking on in support), Virtue reflected on how, at 30 years old, she’s reached a point in her life where she’s “transitioning,” personally and professionally.

“And I’m looking to other women to support and uplift me,” she says of the changes. “So, I think it’s really neat that (RW&CO. is) putting together, really, a movement to incorporate so many things. And, they’re not just talking the talk.”

To mark the release, the retailer will be running a contest for Canadians to nominate an inspiring woman in their lives. The winner will receive a donation to the charity of her choice.

In addition to providing a visual representation of strong female role models, the partnership provided Virtue and her campaign co-stars with the opportunity to donate a portion of their fee to a cause of their choice. Callingbull directed her share toward a shelter for Indigenous women and children, while Vanasse chose a women’s shelter in Montreal.

Virtue, chose to promote another passionate platform, highlighting her efforts as an ambassador for the Canadian organization FitSpirit, which works to promote and support physical activity and athletics programs for young girls.

“It’s something that is so close to my heart,” she says of the role. “Obviously, I’ve reaped the benefits of sport and activity. But not many girls, as it turns out, even have the resources available to them to be physically active or to maintain that as they go through high school. So, FitSpirit is connecting with schools and giving that accessibility to young girls and youth at a time when they might otherwise drop out our prioritize other things.”

“It’s an opportunity to be active and connect with other girls — and to realize the power that those lessons and the sense of building self confidence and self worth that will carry forward for them.”

Recalling a recent visit to a school with FitSpirit where she met with young girls in the program, she recalls, with evident pleasure, sharing her enthusiasm for athletics with the girls — and how she took a little bit of something away from the visit for herself, too.

“They were so curious and it’s so obvious that they’re capable of taking over the world,” she says of the energetic assemblage of youths. Needless to say, it left her feeling inspired.

“When we realize the powerhouse of that sisterhood and the camaraderie among women — there’s no stopping us,” she says.

Flash fashion: Style talks with Tessa Virtue

Canadian Olympian Tessa Virtue may be known more for her on-ice moves than her off-ice style — but, these days, the 30-year-old athlete and ambassador is putting a lot more emphasis on what she wears.

“I lived in either sweatpants or athletic wear,” she says with a laugh of her go-to uniform during her training days. “I was really of two extremes, which plays to my personality as a bit of an extremist. I was either in full-on workout wear or black tie. So, I didn’t have that middle range.”

But, now, as she ventures confidently into her next career adventures that see her stepping away from amateur sport, she says she’s having fun exploring her personal style as she spends more time in the “corporate sphere” and much less time on the ice.

“It has definitely evolved over time,” she says of her fashion sense. “Now, I would say my personal style is pretty classic and refined — with a bit of a twist. I like to have a bit of an edge to every outfit.”

Virtue recently took time away from her busy schedule to dish four tidbits about her personal style. Here’s what she had to say:

On how she chooses her outfits: “I definitely dress based on my mood. I like accessorizing differently. Having classic, quality pieces and mixing in graphic tee, a headband, a pair of funky boots or a belt and changing the outfit entirely.”

On here greatest style influence: “My mom has always shopped for me. I’m so lucky that I have an in-house stylist.”

On her MVP (most valuable piece): “I love a good blazer. Whether it’s jeans, a T-shirt and a blazer, or a power suit, I think that would be my staple.”

On her most cherished item: “My grandmother’s necklace.”

—Windsor Star