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It’s weird that we keep trying to armchair diagnose asshole behaviour with mental health labels and in doing so throw people with mental health conditions under the asshole bus when we could just call a guy an asshole and leave it at that

It just seems far more straightforward, you know

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outdoor cat people are so crazy like do u even want it 😭

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Big Stretch✨️💜✨️

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one time when I was a barista I was telling my coworker that I suddenly really missed cows. I used to work with cows all the time back home and then I moved away and suddenly it had been four years and nary a cow.

15 minutes later this old guy came up to the counter with his address written on a napkin & he said “me and my wife have a whole herd of dexters and a couple of new calves. come on over any time”

so after work I was like ok fuck it & I drove to the address and I parked at at the gate & I walked down the driveway to the barn and this woman was like “oh my husband told me you might stop by! come see our cows” and she introduced me to every single cow. made my whole week.

thank you cow couple

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Skeletor has forever destroyed our ability to come up with voices for skeleton characters.

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i must not kill myself . killing myself is the myself killer

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In tears

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he's doing great

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i'm minding my own business reading the wikipedia page list of sandwiches and like. what kind of metabolism did elvis possess holy shit

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so many amazing words in the english language. you have clandestine and precarious and serendipity and iconoclast and then you also have staunch and sludge and slurp and smudge

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I took a 6yo boy to his placement and as soon as I got him situated in the back he saw my SpongeBob driver’s license air freshener hanging on my rearview mirror. He asked if that’s really SpongeBob’s driver’s license and I said yeah it’s real. Then he asked where I got it if SpongeBob’s underwater so I told him I wore a helmet like Sandy and stole it from SpongeBob when he slept, and without missing a beat he goes “That’s identity fraud”

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LOVE ME LIKE YOU DO

“𝘓𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘴, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦.”

𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐜 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝗇𝗈𝗇𝖾! 𝗉𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿!

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: 𝗌𝗈𝗇𝗂𝖼 𝗂𝗌 𝗌𝗈 𝖽𝖾𝖺𝗋 𝗍𝗈 𝗆𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗌𝖾 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝗆𝗉𝗍𝗌 𝗌𝖺𝗏𝖾𝖽 𝗆𝗒 𝗅𝗂𝖿𝖾

↝on your 1 year anniversary…you awoke to a flurry of kisses and playful hands pulling you close; like a storm of love, the hedgehog showered you in gifts, one for every month spent with you, and each representing his favorite memory, offering a slew of excited announcements of all he had planned for today. his display of affection was far from unordinary, but, normally one to enjoy living in the moment and willing to see where the winds took him, you admitted you were a bit surprised to see how far ahead he thought. today was special, today he earned the right to love you unconditionally which meant he wanted to show you just how much you meant to him—these were his words spoke as you thanked him for his efforts, feeling shy under his pile of gifts

↝on your 1 year anniversary…you went to all the places that were significant in your relationship, where the stepping stones of your love had been placed. all along the way, Sonic was a buzz of speech and gestures, running around you in circles as he lead you through a map of your history. each stop had him reminiscing, confessing his thoughts he had at the time; the market where you first met, he thought you were beautiful and more than anything wanted to know who you were. the ice cream shop where your first date was, he tried so hard to impress you, wanting you to see him as cool and charming. the hill you had a picnic on where you had your first kiss, he still thinks about it often when he misses you. the waterfall where the two of you sat, legs dangled over the edge of the cliff, when he officially asked you to be his. the day was long and eventful, filling you with raw emotion your heart could not contain

↝on your 1 year anniversary…you sat atop green hill’s infamous loop, watching the sea of the gleaming universe together with sonic. it was the final stop on his list of adventures, and perhaps the most important. his hands reached out high towards the night sky tracing the stars together in constellations he knew and others he completely made up. you’d been so captivated by his display, giggling when his voice turned teasing and humming in awe when he told you the story behind the twinkling forms, despite how many times you’d done this with him before; it was always a new memory for you, illuminated by the ever changing tide of space and narrated by Sonic’s pure imagination. twinkling eyes admired the spread of the worlds above you when Sonic’s pointing finger suddenly seemed different, curved and holding something between it and his thumb

↝on your 1 year anniversary…sonic proposed to you in the very spot where he first realized he loved you

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ

↝husband!sonic is not much different than how he was when he was dating you. there's a deeper smugness etched in his heart that comes from knowing you're his now completely, and perhaps the thought of it riles him up more often, but his love is all the same

↝husband!sonic spoils you, never letting the flame of your love die when he's so attentive to your wants and needs. you hardly know how he does it when he's dropping off a gift in your arms, the item originating from across the world

↝husband!sonic grows more conscious of his health and safety. he's still infuriatingly stubborn and often makes you worry, but he acts reckless now with the thought that he has someone to return to. he can't leave you alone, waiting for him even if it took years

↝husband!sonic is still very playful, loving to pull a rise from you harmlessly just so he can kiss away the pout on your face when you express more annoyance than you actually feel

↝husband!sonic is shockingly very good at remembering important dates and loves to celebrate every single one of them. anniversary of your first meet? he's taking you to dinner. anniversary of the day you started a relationship? that calls for a vacation trip to somewhere you've been dreaming about. anniversary of your wedding? he's asking you to marry him again simply because he can never get over hearing you say yes!

↝husband!sonic may be a bit lazy with the house chores, but he makes it up by running the errands and taking care of you. back massages, warm baths, meals that he learned to cook just to take some weight off your shoulders, he's quite considerate of your relaxation

↝husband!sonic who is a crazy sleeper but you've learned to put up with the way he ends up atop you in the middle of the night. on nights where he's particularly exhausted, you can hear him mumbling in his sleep about whatever he was last thinking about. most often its you

Tags: @justhereforthefiction @hyperaccumulator @hyenalover2630 @kttgwsh @akanehattori @anodyne321 @miso-sopas @number1shadowgirl @fluffypinkpillows @waayix

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stop glorifying and romanticizing weight loss, especially attained through illness