#a LITTLE. this is where it starts to get tricky
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softness-and-shattering Ā· 3 days ago
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Most of my autistic friends expect that their friendships will one day out of the blue blow up in their face as people vent built-up frustrations about behaviours that annoyed others that was never ever communicated to them, and/or because of whats called "the double empathy problem" which describes one of the main ways allistic-autistic communication goes sideways. Ive been in social groups - discord type groups - where the autistics get kicked out because we are speaking plainly and askingd questions, and the mods or admin or other authority figures interpret these questions as deliberate insubordination and challenges to their authority, get "tired and fed up" with "the disrespect" and start kicking people. I have seen this happen in disability groups.
And its not all black and white. Like sometimes I can pick up on social cues because I have deliberately learned them, or learned them the hard way. I can even sometimes say one thing and mean another, but I dont often. I might pick up on one cue and totally miss another. Sometimes I just dont know why someone is saying something, theyre obviously implying something but I dont know what. This can get tricky when someone wants to indicate something without being able to be quoted about it, and sometimes I need to ask them to clarify and if theyre still dodgy I have to guess and hope I got it right.
And sometimes we're aware of unspoken rules but we dont recognise their authority over us because theyre bad or nonsensical. We tend to stick to rules if we understand them and they make sense. When theyre crap rules, I dont care how much money someone makes I will treat them the same as everyone else. I dont care how many high status cars someone has, we are equals.
Im getting off track - my point is that basically every autistic I know has ongoing trauma of friendships and social groups suddenly turning on them for no discernable reason and no warning and absolutely no previous indication that anything was wrong - sometimes after being explicitly told everything was ok the day before. This happens to us all the time. Its so damaging and so hurtful.
Personally I dont second guess as a general rule. I someone has a problem with me I trust they will tell me about it and we can problem solve and introspect. If Im not told, no matter what vibes Im picking up bc I dont know if the vibes are real or my own anxieties, I will act like nothing is wrong. If someone wants to blow up at me that has reflects zero on me and entirely on their inability to speak up about whatever was bothering them. Thats not a me problem. I cannot do anything with zero information.
Lemme induct you in an autistic way of bring and introduce you to a script you can use. Something like "hi friend, can I talk to you for a second about the meeting yesterday? [If Y continue, if N ask when you can talk to them about it.*] So I dont know if you noticed, but you spent the whole time tapping your fingernails on the table, and honestly the noise was distracting and mightve been irritating for some people. I just thought you should know bevause I dont think anyone else was going to bring it up with you. Could you please find a quieter way to stim/do what you need to/move in the ways you need to to concentrate. Ok thank you, no ones super upset just mildly irritated I think. I just figured someone should actually tell you"
Or even "hi. You spent the whole meeting earlier tapping on the table and it was pretty loud. Could you please find a way to be quieter in meetings, its just a bit distracting for some people? Awesome thank you".
Just be polite and straightforward, say what you want and what the problem is. Assume competence, sometimes we make deliberate choices against the status quo for important reasons not cluelessness. And give time for them to figure out an alternative, be undsrstanding if they cant. Just use your words, communicate clearly. It might feel a little confrontational but believe me its not as bad as bring dropped as a friend or fired out of nowhere. That sucks**
*Dont just say "can we talk", give a reason, otherwise they will likely spend the time between notification and meeting inventing every worse case scenario they can possibly think of. A couple words of context goes a long way.
** I came across a youtuber who, idk for sure if theyre autistic but they talk with an extremely flat effect (meaning, little tonal variance between words, not much expression in the voice, every word comes out more or less the same, "robotic"), which is an autistic trait. They mentioned in a video that they had a 'normal' job before youtube, until one day they found themself fired, given reason was their flat effect scared people and made them seem unfriendly and unhappy to be there and interacting. Sounded like it was completely out of the blue. Thats a job lost due to ableism though possibly no one involved sees it that way. Some people cant change how they speak or dont want to. Shouldnt have to. But at least mention it, see if the person is willing to adjust, and consider if it truly disqualifies them from being able to perform the job or is it just a little unusual.
I saw some snippet of a callout post for an autistic trans woman where they list social faux pas she committed, and I think we allistic people should all feel 100x more ashamed of not telling people in the moment how we feel about what they're doing. I think its extremely evil and cruel to not only lie to an autistic person and blame them for it but also to feel justified shaming them for your behavior. And it's currently the social norm to do that
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brotherwtf Ā· 1 day ago
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Mer AU Headcanons 2/2
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Gale gets the pirate ship Bucky is on to a a dangerous area, where it eventually sinks. However, despite himself, Gale decides to save Bucky because heā€™s intrigued by him and he feels some gratitude for how Bucky protected him earlier.
Bucky has a head injury from the wreck and heā€™s unconscious, but Gale manages to drag him to a rocky area where he can lay him out on a rock in relative safety. He takes back his jewelry and waits for sunrise.
When Bucky wakes up, he thinks heā€™s in heaven or just hallucinating, because he opens his eyes to a dazzling morning and a beautiful (naked) man sunning a few rocks away from him. And then it all comes back - the merman, the chase, the shipwreck. Heā€™s scared, but he tries not to show it.
Naturally, it doesn't take long before he starts talking to Gale. He asks him why he saved Bucky and if he intends to eat him. Gale tells him he just wanted his jewely back (lie) and that he hasnā€™t decided yet if he wants to eat Bucky (mers donā€™t eat humans).
While they wait for Gale to regain some of his energy and decide what's next, Bucky talks to him nonstop. Although Gale doesnā€™t like humans at all, Bucky's yapping gets through his walls. See, Gale has been quite lonely lately, ever since his best friend (Marge) moved in with her mate, and while he does have a pet octopus, he realizes he missed talking. So, eventually, he starts participating in the conversation.
At first, he intends to leave Bucky where he is, but Bucky tells him he might die if he's just left out there, heā€™s not sure he can make it to the shore and then fend for himself. So, after some hesitation, Gale decides to take him home to his place.
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Gale lives in a grotto that's extremely difficult to access from the cliff side, but can be accessed underwater. His home has a large underwater structure and a smaller, cozy grotto part. Itā€™s tricky, but he manages to get Bucky inside the grotto.
He tends to his own and Bucky's wounds, then throws a whole fish at Bucky, calling it breakfast. Merpeople usually eat things raw, but they do have their own dishes (think Hawaii poke). But when Bucky tells him that he canā€™t (wonā€™t) eat raw fish and explains to him what roasting is, Gale begins to realize that taking care of him will be more challenging than he thought.
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Bonus hc:
Marge is distrustful of John and calls him Gale's human pet for a while.
Marge's mate is Crank, who's much friendlier with humans and has had some contact with them in the past. He gives Gale useful advice.
Gale likes to sleep in his "bed" in the shallow waters of his grotto, where he feels safe and where the gently sloshing waves rock him to sleep. John thinks it's really cute.
I would love to know your thoughts if this inspires anything šŸ©·
part two as promised people
Gale uses his siren ways to lure the ship as he normally would, and the ship follows him because he's the treasure they lost, only to fall victim to the same trick as the first time, and Gale ends up looking through the wreckage for John, partially hoping he's still alive and he doesn't quite know why yet
he finds John's body strewn across a rocky outpost, unconscious but alive, and Gale drags him beneath the water to his little cove where he lives, waiting anxiously for John to wake up so he can thank him or call him an idiot or something
but when John wakes up his eyes are bleary and they widen when they see Gale, reaching out to him in awe
"are you an angel?" John asks and Gale coughs a little bit
"I ain't no angel," Gale mutters and John just shakes his head
"sure look like an angel to me," John says
"you need to rest, you're still injured," Gale says, and hopes it's the end of it
but it's not, John just sits up and starts striking up a conversation with him, gesticulating with his hands to make a point, dragging Gale into the conversation even when he doesn't want to be
and Gale hates to admit that he doesn't mind talking to John, doesn't hate the constant conversation that John feels he needs, he's been so lonely recently and it's nice to have someone else with him, even if he's a little odd
Gale nurses John back to health, forcing him to eat raw fish or make a fire if he hates it so much, glares at John when he complains and blossoms under his wanting gaze, hey maybe his scales even flush pink when he's embarrassed and John just bites his lip, knows he has an effect on him
one day after Gale swims out to get more food for them, John's waiting at the edge of the water when he gets back, leaning over and swirling his hand in the pearlescent ripples, smiling down at Gale when he pops his head up
"it really is beautiful, isn't it?" John whispers, leaning on his elbow and peering deep into Gale's eyes
Gale can feel his cheeks get hot and he just nods
"yeah, the water really is beautiful in here," Gale mutters and can feel the low rumble of John's chuckle
"that's not what I meant," John says and reaches forward, threading a hand in Gale's soaking hair and bringing him in for a salty kiss, leaning halfway over the edge of the rock and teetering dangerously close into falling into the water
and damn, the choirs of angels sing because John tastes delicious, tastes so good and hot and it's everything Gale didn't know he needed, and of course being the asshat he is he grabs John by his shoulders and pulls him into the water, laughing into John's lips when he gasps because of the cold :))
so so sweetness and I absolutely love Marge being so over Gale's human friend, maybe she visits them sometimes and John can't help but flirt, "damn is the job requirement for mermaids god like beauty?" and Marge just splashes John in the face before promptly leaving, but Gale finds it cute and endearing
omg again all of your hcs are absolutely perfect these are just some added on thoughts, am definitely gonna need to add a new tag to my master post for this au
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oldbutchdanielcraig Ā· 1 year ago
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ideal ship dynamic: guy whoā€™s the most mentally unstable person youā€™ve ever heard of in your entire life x guy who wants to bang them so bad it has them saying things like ā€œnothing wrong with that guy. theyā€™re completely normal and saneā€
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feroluce Ā· 10 months ago
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Belobog was my fave main quest but a lot of it is so. Contradictory. It's like they had multiple groups doing different shit and none of them checked in with each other for consistency. And you see this so much in Gepard's profile.
So in the main quest, they made him unfailingly, unquestionably loyal to Cocolia. Gepard's character arc is him learning to question authority etc etc. And this isn't even a bad thing; that's a story worth telling! It makes good conflict between him and Serval! And I love that we got Gepard as a boss battle and I get to see him all the time in SU!
But then you look at his character stories and it's like. The complete opposite.
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According to his profile, Gepard has already HAD this awakening, long before the Astral Express, and he'd already decided Cocolia sucks. Even outside of his stories, there's a pretty damning readable between him and Pela.
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He even disobeyed direct orders right in front of her- he has been disobeying orders for a while now!
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So I've decided I'm marrying the two different sides of this into a 1.5k fic-ish thingy, because I think there's some fun potential there with Gepard not trusting Cocolia, but still having to pretend to be a good obedient little soldier.
Anyway. I love to think of it as like. Gepard knows Cocolia has sunk into her apathy. He can see it in her eyes every time he looks at her. She doesn't care. Not about him, not about Pela, not about all his soldiers on the frontlines giving their lives to protect the citizens. And that's... It makes him bristle a bit, but ok. Gepard can deal with this. Even if Cocolia no longer cares, as long as she does her job then it's fine. Having compassion behind an action doesn't matter as much as the action itself. If Cocolia's heart is no longer swayed, then he'll just have to care twice as hard to pick up the slack. He considers it part of his duty as a captain of the guard anyway. It's fine. Gepard can deal with it.
And then, Cocolia starts coming down to the restricted zone. Issuing direct orders.
And Gepard realizes he is in way over his head.
Because Cocolia orders him to stay back and issue commands from the ramparts, away from all his comrades, away from where he can protect them.
Gepard had thought nothing could be as bad as watching a fellow guard die right next to him. But the first time he watches someone struck by a killing blow, so far away, it hurts. Every defensive scar across his arms itches, his fingers curl in want of a weapon, the cold cannot numb his hands enough as they desperately ache for his shield. It hurts.
Gepard tries to find any reason to stay. Because surely... He knows Cocolia has lost her love for her people, but surely... She wouldn't...
One day, Cocolia orders for their gunners to advance 20 yards. There are no survivors. She almost looks like she smiles.
Gepard doesn't sleep that night.
Pela brings him the report at the end of the first month; and then the month after that, and the month after that. A significant uptick in losses, and all of it started on that first day Cocolia started overriding his authority and issuing her own orders. The ends of Gepard's pens have all been nearly chewed off. Pela outright calls Cocolia an idiot, and Gepard corrects her. Cocolia isn't an idiot. Gepard had known her through Serval, knew her through all her college years and then some, and he knows how intelligent she is. It's not that she's stupid, and it's not that she's inexperienced, it's nothing of the sort.
Cocolia knows exactly what she's doing.
She must, there's no way she could make such a horrible mess of things so badly by accident. And Pela, quick as a whip, sharp as a tack, always too smart for her own good, catches onto the meaning behind Gepard's correction without any further prompting. The tent goes deathly quiet, nothing but the wind howling outside.
"...She's trying to kill us," Pela whispers, her voice swiftly suffocated by the silence.
Gepard swallows. He can't bring himself to correct her this time. There is nothing he could say that he would actually mean.
His gaze drops, back down to his desk and the reports on it. The names aren't listed, just the numbers, but Gepard knows them, knew them, and there must be something wrong, something he's missing, because why, why would she-? What could this possibly accomplish-?
ā€œGepard! Focus!ā€ Something snaps right under his nose, and Gepard startles, eyes instantly honing in on Pela's irritated face as she leans over his desk. She holds his gaze for a moment before she huffs and begins to pace, wedges a knuckle between her teeth and bites like Gepard hasn't seen her do since cadet school.
Pela angrily strides from one end of his tent to the other, words hissed between her grit teeth. ā€œWhat are we going to do?ā€ In the dim lighting, Gepard can just barely see the damp spot of blood weeping under her gloves. ā€œWe need a plan.ā€
ā€œA plan?ā€
ā€œWh- Yes, a plan! Unless you want more people to die!ā€ Pela rounds on him then, all the wrath of a blizzard, winds roaring and snow sharp enough to cut.
ā€œWe don't even know-ā€
ā€œWhat does it matter?! She killed-!!ā€ Pela cuts off with a garbled noise when Gepard leaps up from his desk, hastily shoves his hand over her mouth. The prosthetic, not the flesh one, because he knows better than to assume Pela won't seize the opportunity to leave teeth marks in his skin.
ā€œYou're right. I'm sorry, I'm sorry; you're right. But you need to keep quiet.ā€ Pela quirks an eyebrow at him and Gepard can read the question in her face. ā€œBecause we both saw what she did to Serval,ā€ he hisses.
It's amazing the snow plains haven't thawed out yet, the amount of heat Pela can put behind a glare. The mere mention of Serval, and the smoking ruins Cocolia had made of her life and career, have her bristling up like a riled cat. The sudden hot breath she takes fans fog across his metal skin, and Gepard wisely keeps it in place until Pela finally sighs and reaches up, taps her fingertips against the back of his hand.
The second she's free, Pela bats him away and then her knuckle is right back between her teeth again, Gepard leaning back against his desk with his arms crossed to watch her resume her pacing. ā€œIf we spread the word, she'll have us discharged and make sure we can't even touch the frontlines,ā€ Pela's voice seethes like an open sore. Gepard nods but keeps his silence. He knows better than to get in her way.
ā€œAnd if you and I are both out of the picture, Belobog is fucked.ā€ A little harsher than how he would have put it, but there's no denying that they're both important to the city's survival. Pela has the restricted zone running as efficiently as ever, and Gepard had become the youngest captain on record for a reason. ā€œWe need to keep this tight under wraps, at least for nowā€¦ It can't leak to anyone higher up the chain.ā€ Another nod. ā€œServal might know other discontentsā€¦ā€ Another n-
Gepard's head snaps up. ā€œNo.ā€
ā€œNo what?ā€
ā€œNo. We're not involving Serval in this.ā€
Somehow, even the same tone that leaves entire squadrons shaking in their boots has never worked on her. ā€œYou're not deciding that for her, Gepard.ā€
Pela hadn't seen the worst of it, though, back when his sister had just been banned from the Architects. Serval's pride hadn't allowed it. Pela wasn't the one to find her passed out bottle still in hand, hadn't been the one to wash the sick out of her hair or carry her to bed.Ā 
Serval still has trouble thinking clearly when it comes to Cocolia, still can't quite bring herself to be objective. And Gepard maybe doesn't want her to be purely objective- but he would worry a lot less if she thought twice before she acted more often.
ā€œAt least let me be the one to bring it up to her.ā€
ā€œWhatever, fine,ā€ Pela gestures affirmatively at him as she paces past, and Gepard sighs. Good, at least that's one thing he can help.
From there, it's a lot of hemming and hawing and frustration. Cocolia has them under her boot, and Gepard and Pela both know it. Even with the way she's been cracking down on freedoms lately, Cocolia is still, overall, liked by the people. It's unlikely anyone would believe them. They don't even have solid proof, because most people don't know Cocolia as well as they do and won't see the clues in the same light.Ā 
The Fragmentum has been ramping up in recent years, too. Everyone is struggling just to survive as is, they can't afford a fight on two fronts. Gepard is a damn good captain, one of the best for that matter. But they're at a massive disadvantage, his experience is narrowed to fighting a defensive battle against monsters, that's all he's ever done. That's all anyone there has ever done. He has no way of finding first-hand knowledge for taking the offensive against a human opponent, and if he goes at this blind, there's no way he'll get everyone out unscathed. He's going to lose people. He's going to lose a lot of people.
He'd never thought before that Cocolia would have it in her to have someone killed. And with this new knowledge, he has no guarantee she won't go after Serval or Lynx if she decides to retaliate.
Gepard has to remind himself to breathe when he realizes this.
Pela writes down every name the two of them can come up with. Lists and lists of names and groups and anyone they can think of who might be an ally in all of this. They memorize every bit of it, make their plans of who to talk to and when. Gepard watches the sparks reflect off Pela's glasses as they burn the evidence together.
Pela finally leaves, far too late to make it home, but says she wants to stay in the restricted zone anyway to investigate. Gepard watches her make her way in the direction of Dunn's tent, watches her back until she's out of his sight and squashes down the urge to follow and keep an eye on her. His tent feels empty.
In the morning, Gepard is up before the wake up bells. He drags himself out of bed, leads his soldiers through their morning training. The same people gravitate to each other everyday. Friend groups and training partners. There's an ongoing rivalry between a few squadrons that everyone bets on. Some of them have lockets around their necks, keepsakes, mementos. Some of them wear wedding rings.
Gepard is suddenly, painfully aware of something acidic clawing at the inside of his throat, of a heavy weight low in his chest that blooms, takes up room until it threatens to spread his ribs. His mouth tastes of bile and blood.
He rearranges the schedules. Puts himself down for every open patrol into the Fragmentum, makes sure he'll be on the frontlines every single time Cocolia visits.
He only hopes that it's enough.
#honkai star rail#gepard landau#hsr gepard#pelageya sergeyevna#hsr pela#hsr#smacking Gepard out of Hoyo's hands and running off with him skzjmdkd#tentatively Figuring Out how to write these two... It feels a little tricky starting out with extreme circumstances like this haha#I feel like a lot of people see Gepard as naive for trusting Cocolia so much but I don't think that's quite it. He's not stupid.#He's not even naive.#He's someone who has been groomed since birth by his own parents to be an obedient Guard and nothing outside of that role.#You are not immune to propaganda etc etc#But even then there are a lot of things like all the included screenshots where he. Doesn't actually seem to like/trust Cocolia much.#I think Serval was a really good influence on him as a kid. He might have turned out much much worse without her.#and even with how I've written him here. I don't think he's normally slow to act or one to stand aside and make other people lead.#it's just that this specifically was a pretty extreme circumstance for him.#and also he openly states elsewhere that Pela is overbearing and he tries not to interfere with her work whenever possible nskzhdjdjd#Pela too. I don't know that I normally see her as someone with a bad temper or quick to anger.#But again; extreme circumstances haha#Bc like. they both would have seen what happened to Serval when she stood up to Cocolia. they know damn well what's going to happen to them.#if they fuck this up and get caught then they're done.#and I mean. What are they supposed to do? they're two people against the highest authority of the entire nation.#regardless I do love Gepard agonizing over this in the future after Bronya takes over and everything has settled down#did he do the right thing? did he make the right choice? if he went vigilante how many soldiers would have died without his protection?#would Belobog have fallen completely? how many people died because he DIDN'T run away? was it actually enough?#I love characters forced between a rock and a hard place. no good options. pick your poison.#no winning- only weighing what you can and cannot bear to lose.#make your choice and decide whether you want to rot or to burn.
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businesstiramisu Ā· 2 days ago
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there's also guys like Dave Green and Therin of Andor who started as one fan's creation but got picked up by canon. exciting!
Where it gets tricky is where the character in some sense "existed" in canon first.
In visual canons you've got characters like Tumbler (Newsies) or Figwit (LOTR) or Tanabi (Lion King) that appear in the background of scenes with no actual information, so fans made up their own. And sometimes the Powers That Be filled in canon info later ("Figwit is actually an elf named Aegnor"; "that lion cub fans started calling Tanabi is actually Kopa...or Kion... or Kiara") -- but sometimes fans ignore TPTB and stick with the fanon-- or develop new fanon ("Figwit, you mean Melpmomaen?" or "Brett MacKenzie later played Lindir in The Hobbit movies, so maybe Figwit and Lindir are the same guy").
in written canons, you get characters like Musichetta from Les Mis or Daphne Greengass from Harry Potter, where they get mentioned by name and there's *some detail* (Musichetta is so-and-so's mistress; Daphne was a Slytherine at Hogwarts, probably in the same year as Harry) but fandom has invented SO MUCH MORE. These are usually called blank slate characters.
then of course in video games, player characters usually are this by design. I think this generally leads to less cohesion within the fandom because every player is more or less makign their own version of the character, but sometimes you still get trends -- e.g. I've heard that in BG3 there's some popular Fanon Tavs that have fandom followings in their own right.
(what about podcast fandoms, where characters might have very extensive canon backstories and characterizations but visual discriptors, so fans have to make up their own headcanons there?)
Where is the line between "blank slate" and "fanon character"?? How much "prior canon content" disqualifies a character from being "fanon" (what about characters like Draco Malfoy who have quite a lot of canon info & characterization, but sometimes fans make up something else entirely* -- see also Dark!Harry or TINO, plenty more examples of course). What about characters that were initially blank slate but get more canon filled in by later installments, like Hux, who now stars in his own novel, or MCU MJ, who became a much more prominent character in the sequels to Homecoming? (Frankly, taking a look at our list on fanlore I think you could argue a lot of these.) What about situations like Matt the Radar Technician, where an SNL skit about Kylo Ren got spun off by fans as a character in his own right?
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Fanlore unofficial policy is that Blank Slate characters don't go in the Fanon category (so Musichetta or Daphne Greengrass or Marlene McKinnon are not in there**). But you'll notice that's not followed by everyone -- e.g. the category currently contains ton of Newies characters or Wes (Danny Phantom) who have as much canon content as Figwit.*** So, uh, make your best judgement, I guess, and put a note on the Talk page for help if you want second opinions.
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*Incidentally, I was aware of this TVTropes page looong before I got into FF7, and now that I've gotten into reading fic (and also watched a letplay of the entire OG game) I am confused by the demonstration image with Sephiroth. Like okay maybe I just haven't seen much of what the pink image is gesturing and I'm substituting what I've mostly seen in fic but it doesn't seem that far outside plausible based on what little we see in the OG game. Well mostly it's the OG game barely does give him any characterization outside of "ominous laughter" and "enjoys tormenting Cloud". Is... is Sephiroth a blank slate character?!?! Surely not.
**Not sure what it says (if anything) that all my examples are female here -- probalby only something about me. I considered mentioning some of the men from that Fanlore list but it's mostly either fandoms I'm unfamiliar with or characters that I would contest (Otabek Altin?!?!? REALLY?!)
***okay i just added Figwit to the Fanon Characters category on the basis of writing this argument lol
Are ocs made for peoples fanfics allowed to be on fanlore?
((im writing one on here//a03 and ill tag u if you want heh))
Not generally no. The only exceptions is if an OC becomes so well known or influential in a fandom that they appear in several fanworks by several people, and knowing that context would be important for that fandom's history.
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uchiha-gaeshi Ā· 1 month ago
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Iā€™m calling off my SI/OC fic.
#the si/oc fic that may never be written#at this point it may be true šŸ˜”#maybe I jinxed myself with that tagā€¦.#who knew that inserting yourself into a story is difficult even if itā€™s an avatar (or avatarsā€¦) of yourself#if you want to like take the story seriously and not treat it as purely a power fantasy then things getā€¦..tricky#like who am I even#my personality varies greatly depending on the environment that Iā€™m in#maybe Iā€™m just overthinking a normal part of the human experience#at this point I think itā€™s just easier to project onto existing characters in canon while being careful of not projecting *too* much onto#them#like as long as thereā€™s like one trait that I can relate to then I can have something to work with I feel#I donā€™t need to write them as myself#and I can give them a rollercoaster of wins and losses#Uchiha-gaeshi overshares#I think thinking about the self insert was a good distraction but at this point it has come to a hiatus#I need to think of other shit to write#and also a key issue I faced writers block wise was trying to distinguish the characters from each other#it got to a point where I had to kill characters off (all in my headā€¦) because I just didnā€™t have the space to fully flesh them out#maybe one day Iā€™ll be able to do this justice#but todays not the day#I just want to throw a random crack event and the founders and see how they react#or write aus of modern Konoha hsitorians looking at shit in the WSE and going ā€˜hey thatā€™s kinda gayā€™#like maybe I should just disperse aspects of myself across different characters or make normal ocs and see how shit goes#or maybe this is the chance for me to start honing my smut writing skills for that 50 person uchisaku fic Iā€™ve been wanting to write#I guess maybe my fear is that someone will glean something embarrassing from my writing and make a snap conclusion about my entire life#something something the fear of being perceived???#well at this point it was diminishing returns to the point of affecting my ability to enjoy fandom#for now Iā€™ll just be in my little corner I guess#Uchiha-gaeshi ramblings#txt
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flowering-darkness Ā· 1 month ago
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hmm..
I should revisit the Destiny Islands Clio piece at some point
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salvieslovenotes Ā· 2 months ago
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Mirror Mirror
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vi x reader, 18+ themes!!
Vi receives a nude from you for the first time and... freaks out a little
(a/n: i haven't written anything like this before, please be gentle!!)
Vi loves the way your relationship is going. She's never taken it this slow before; her relationships in the past have all been about diving head-first, but this, with you, it feels different. She really, really likes you. She doesn't want to mess it up. And taking it slow feels good, it feels like the right thing.
She suspects she's in a bit deeper than you, afraid that it means more to her than it does for you, and so slow... yeah, that's good. Give her a bit of space, allow her to reign in the rush of feelings and want that floods her whenever she's around you.
It's new for her, not to be sure of where it's going, what's happeningā€”but she's taking a step back, taking the cues from you. Whenever you want to take it a step further, she's more than happy to go there.
But it's also tricky, not seeing you every day when she wants to. Not being sure if you're feeling the same way. Only going on one or two dates a week, holding herself back when kissing you, afraid you'll taste the longing she can't swallow down, pull away because you don't want that. You made it very clear, you two were casual. Your relationship was supposed to be fun, and yeahā€”casual.
So she never mentions it, even though yeah, she wants to know if you're thinking about her, too, when you don't see each other. She wants you to be thinking about her. She wants to get little dirty texts from you, she wants to send them back. She wants to get a text and be thinking about it all day. But she respects your boundaries, and so she says nothing.
Casual is... not really how Vi feels about you.
But it's alright, she knows you haven't been treated right in the past. Been with some people who haven't been respectful, who've made it so you don't give your trust easily. And so she understands why you're hesitant about starting something serious, and she really wants to show you that she's not like the others. She would never do anything to hurt you, or make you uncomfortable.
It's a total slap in the face one morning when she's just messaged you hello like she always does and you respond... differently.
good morning love
sleep well?
She's busy pouring coffee when a moment later her phone buzzes with a new message.
Cupcake <3: Well... not so good.
Frowning, she types quickly.
oh??
Three dots appear on the screen and she waits impatiently, a little worried.
Cupcake <3: Yeah, couldn't sleep well.
Was kinda... distracted
Thinking about you
Vi stares at the last line, her heart suddenly beating hard in her chest, fast enough that her stomach clenches a little. Is this... are you doing what she thinks you're doing? For a moment she has a small panic; what if she's misinterpreted, because you two have never done anything like this before. Even your flirting is all tame, none of it overly suggestive, and what if she's got it totally wrong? What if you actually meant you were up because you were questioning the relationship. Is this you telling her you want to talk?
Now panicking in earnest, Vi glances down at her screen again where your three dots have reappeared. Wondering how to reply, she takes a sip of coffeeā€”then promptly chokes.
Another message from you has just come through. This time, it's a photo.
A photo of you, specifically.
When Vi's finished coughing her lungs out, she grips her phone tight in both hands, staring, suddenly very certain that she was right the first time. It does not look like you're questioning the relationship.
The photo doesn't include your face, cutting off at your collarbones. Vi's gaze travels along their dip and curve, thinking of how she wants to run her tongue along that same line. You're clearly lying down in the image, rumpled sheets below your back. The lower half of the image cuts off again, just showing the elastic of your panties, and the fingers you're just slipping beneath the hem.
It's a matching set. Black lace, making the curve of your waist even sharper. Vi drinks in every pixel of the image, the way your fingers are teasing her, barely pulling the elastic of your panties as if it could snap back at any moment. She can imagine your satisfied little smile, the way your breaths would become more rapid and shallow as your hand slipped lower.
Vi lets out a shaky breath, a twinging ache of want low in her stomach. She doesn't need to move to know she's soaked her boyshorts. Pushing a hand that's trembling a little through her hair, she looks at the photo again, swallowing roughly. And shitā€”wait, the message is from almost ten minutes ago and she...
She has the sudden thought that you might be doing that right now, and fully just ā€”spaces out. Gripping the counter until her knuckles are white, she closes her eyes, the picture of you blazing behind her eyelids. She thinks of the way your back would arch a little as you teased yourself, brushing a finger over your clit, bucking into your own hand. Biting your lip to stifle a moan, free hand clutching desparately at the sheets.
She still hasn't replied.
What does she even respond to something like that? Wow angel, thanks for wreaking me at eight in the morning.
Honestly, she's not really sure why this photo has... affected her so much. It's not the most explicit photo she's received from a girl, not by a long shot. Hell, some of her old hook-ups had sent full on videos and none of them had made her feel... quite like this. Shaky with the need to touch you, to have her mouth on your skin, your taste over her tongue. The desparate desire to make you hers, properly hers, someone that no one else would get to touch, to want, to have. You've barely been going out a month, and she wants it to be for always.
She's worried about leaving the message read and without a responseā€”she doesn't want you to get the wrong impression, that it wasn't a good idea to send or worse, that she's unfazed by it.
But she just... doesn't know what to send back. In the past she's snapped responses without even thinking, quick photos of her touching herself, or maybe some at the gym, especially when she was with one girl who was particularly into her strength, but she doesn't know you well enough to know what you'd like, what would make you think of her in the way she's thinking of youā€”you're both still learning each other, the sex is still new. And she sort of wants...
She wants to make you feel like she does right now. She just doesn't know how.
For now she just sends a quick text, just the truth, before she can think twice about itā€”
fuck, angel
do you have any idea what you do to me?
ā€”then locks her phone and religiously doesn't look at it for the rest of the day. Not that it makes a difference. Without ever opening your chat again, she's distracted. Thinking about you. Wanting you.
After work she can't take it anymore and calls Caitlyn, one of her closest friends and incidentally how you two met, as Caitlyn is also a close friend of yours.
Vi's not calling to ask for advice on nudes... but she's also not not calling to ask for advice on nudes. She and Caitlyn have been friends long enough that she's not even embarrassed about it.
"Fuck I just... I dunno what to do," she sighs. It's a little frightening, to want someone that badly, when she has no idea if you feel that strongly about her.
She's so highly strung her fingers have a tiny tremor in them even though she's only had one coffee today. Every time she thinks of that photo (which she's done approximately seven times a minute all day) her heartrate picks up, heat inching up her neck. She's pretty sure her cheeks have been flushed all dayā€”though it's not particularly hot weather-wise.
She's wearing tight black jeans, her old pair full of rips she usually wears when tinkering on her bike, but it was a bad choice today because they're tight around her waist, and every time she bends or takes a seat the seam presses against her. Usually she doesn't notice, but now even that slight pressure is enough to have her biting back a whine as she thinks again about your long fingers curling under the lacy hem of your panties, the way you'd ā€”
A soft laugh in her ear snaps her back to the present. Fuck, she needs to get it together.
"Okay, I'm gonna help you," says Caitlyn on the other end of the line, sounding vaguely amused. "But only because you're being a pathetic wet sock. Alright, you want her to want you?"
"Uh-huh," Vi mumbles, slumped over her counter top and staring moodily at the floor.
"Right, go into your bedroom."
"Okay..." Vi replies, pushing herself up off the counter and wandering through her small flat to her bedroom. "M'kay, I'm there."
"Open your wardrobe door," Caitlyn instructs, "the side with the long mirror. You still have that mirror, don't you?"
"Uh-huh," Vi says, pulling open the side of her wardrobe with the mirror attached. "Now what?"
"Now take off your shirt, and turn around. "
Having tossed her phone onto her bed, halfway out of her shirt Vi pauses, frowning. "Turn... around?"
There's an exasperated sigh from Caitlyn's end. "Yes, turn around. One-eighty. One-eight-zero. Turn around."
"So I'm... not facing the mirror?"
There's another sigh from Caitlyn. "Fuck, Vi, you useless lesbian. Yes, turn around so your back is to the mirror."
"My back?"
"Yep." There's a smirk in Caitlyn's voice when she adds, "Trust me, that's all you need to do to make her want you."
And well, Caitlyn's not wrong.
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havanillas Ā· 2 months ago
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Heya! Person who went/goes over gender swap?? Female version?? Of Ratiorine, or just the way you draw women in general here. I'm an artist (not really but I do draw and paint from time to time) I just wanted to ask, (sorry if this is really silly or inappropriate) How do you draw breasts semi realistically?? Or just draw them the way you do. I honestly don't know how to draw human anatomy at all, I just kinda wing it but breasts, male chest alongside legs and hands are a STRUGGLE for me. (Been slowly getting better) YET BREASTS ARE ALWAYS JUST NOT LOOKING RIGHT AND IT MAKES ME WANT TO SOB They're always very anime looking in a very very bad way (because I grew up watching mostly anime and using old anime drawing tutorial books) No need to respond/answer if you don't want to! Just wanted to ask!
breasts are affected a lot by the angle of the shoulders and the pull of gravity, which are both pretty daunting factors for learning artists
i'd recommend anatomy studying but that's not what you asked for(tell me if anyone's interested), so i'll take the opportunity to draw more fem!ratio
behold, a booba tutorial with veritas ratio. only open if youre interested in boobs
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breasts don't really have a fixed form, so they're tricky to make them look natural. as i mentioned, i consider the gravity and angle of the shoulders, as well as clothing when drawing them
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i'll go over an easy method to paint them. for demonstration, i unbuttoned ratio's shirt. for educational purposes.
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i like to use shaded tones as base color and add light afterwards
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with some lassoing and glow layer (overlay/add/anything that works) it already looks fairly alright, but i'm gonna do some blurring to make it look better
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i blurred and erased around the edges to make the light blend in more naturally to the lineart and the shirt
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i added a little bit of redness around the edges of the light to make it look more like flesh as well as reflected lights (the blue circles), they'll give clearer indications on where the breast starts and ends
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i usually end the details here when i don't feel like going for high quality render
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and there it is, a pair of shiny boobs
im not sure how to lay out the higher quality render process, i haven't really figured it out enough to explain it to someone else yet
anyways i like how this one turned out, so i'll try fancying it up tomorrow, i'll post it when im done
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fastandcarlos Ā· 5 months ago
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"Uncle Charles?" : Ģ—Ģ€āž› Charles LeClerc
summary: for the first time charles feels as if he's part of your family, all thanks to your car obsessed niece
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Your hand waved into the air as you noticed Charles appear in your parentsā€™ garden, dressed still in bright red Ferrari after finishing for the day. There were children running around everywhere as you celebrated your nieceā€™s birthday, with Charles appearing at the end of the day.Ā 
Despite you assuring Charles that he didnā€™t need to worry about attending, he was adamant he was going to make the time. When he appeared, your family were more than surprised, knowing just how busy Charles had been as the start of the new season loomed.Ā 
As Charles made his way over to you though, he was intercepted by a voice calling out his name, a figure running across and leaping up into his arms. Charles stumbled back as your niece leapt up and gave him a hug, her arms going tightly around his neck as Charles held onto her waist, carrying her over to where you sat.Ā 
ā€œHappy birthday cherie,ā€ Charles grinned, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. ā€œYou look like youā€™re having a good time,ā€ he added, taking a look around the garden.Ā 
ā€œI was waiting for you to arrive,ā€ she excitedly told him.Ā 
As Charles sat down beside you, he placed your niece back onto the ground, but she refused to let him go. With her still holding on, he leant across and pressed a kiss to your cheek to try and greet you, but your niece was having none of it.Ā 
ā€œDid training go well?ā€ You asked, unable to hold back your laughter as your niece invited herself to sit up in Charlesā€™ lap, ignoring her friends who were calling for her to play with them.Ā 
The bond that Charles had with your niece had always been close ever since they first met. He was beyond amazing with her, which your sister was particularly a big fan of, finding herself getting giddy whenever Charles was around, never quite being able to leave him alone for too long.Ā 
ā€œYeah, for once, it actually went pretty well,ā€ Charles smiled, his voice filled with relief after what could only be described as a tricky build into the preseason preparations.Ā 
As he sat with your family though, he was reminded about what was important. As much as he wanted the car to do well, what mattered the most was the people around him, particularly the little one in his lap who was over the moon to be able to spend her birthday with him.Ā 
ā€œIā€™m happy that you managed to make it here though,ā€ you told him, keeping your eyes on your niece, ā€œand I think I know someone else who is pretty happy to have you here too.ā€Ā 
If he was honest, Charles wouldnā€™t have missed it for the world, although your niece wasnā€™t on his side of the family, he still absolutely adored her. He wasnā€™t blind to how close they were too, knowing that she was counting on him to show up for her.Ā 
ā€œWhatā€™s been the highlight of your day princess?ā€ Charles asked as your niece shifted to look up at him, her hands cupping against his cheeks. ā€œThereā€™s got to be one present that you canā€™t wait to show me later on tonight.ā€Ā 
Her head nodded, turning round to face Charles properly again. ā€œMy favourite present is your present that you bought me,ā€ she proudly told him, recalling the Ferrari car that youā€™d bought her, well, a child sized one at least.Ā 
Charlesā€™ smile turned up as she spoke, ā€œI had a feeling that youā€™d like it. Maybe I can try and get some Ferrari clothes for you so that you can look the part too.ā€Ā 
Your niece nodded instantly, ā€œI want to be just like Uncle Charles, that would be awesome.ā€Ā 
Your eyes flickered across to Charles, making sure that he was listening to. A gasp came from him, his eyes lighting up as he took a moment to make sure that he wasnā€™t just dreaming what he had heard.Ā 
ā€œWant to be like who?ā€ Charles asked her, wanting to hear it one more time to make sure that he was correct. ā€œWho is it that you want to be the same as?ā€Ā 
ā€œUncle Charles,ā€ she giggled, ā€œI want to be able to drive really fast when Iā€™m older and drive all of the cool cars.ā€Ā 
ā€œUncle Charles,ā€ Charles whispered to himself, ā€œwell, thatā€™s pretty cool.ā€Ā 
You reached across and pressed your hand against Charlesā€™ shoulder to try and keep him together, sensing that he was feeling slightly overwhelmed. Your niece was unaware of what she had done, but hearing her finally call him uncle meant more to Charles then he could ever express.Ā 
ā€œIā€™m going to go and ask mummy if I can play with the car soon,ā€ your niece told you both, climbing out of Charlesā€™ lap. ā€œI want you to show me how to do it before you go home so I can be as fast as you.ā€Ā 
Charles helped her down before shifting his body to look around at you, letting go of a chuckle of disbelief. You smiled widely across at him, nudging against Charlesā€™ arm gently.Ā 
ā€œYou must be pretty important for her to call you uncle,ā€ you told him, brushing your hand through his hair. ā€œShe absolutely adores you Charles, apparently youā€™ve got your own mini me in the future already too.ā€Ā 
ā€œSheā€™s a good kid,ā€ Charles hummed, still slightly in disbelief. ā€œIā€™m trying to be chill about this, but inside my heart is absolutely racing right now.ā€Ā 
You could tell from the look in his eyes that it meant the world to Charles, your family were all special to him, but the children in your family were a little more. He loved being around them, entertaining them and making them smile, which he seemed to do perfectly.Ā 
ā€œIt sounds like Iā€™ve got to find a pretty good present for next year too,ā€ he chuckled, ā€œdo you think your sister might hate me for buying her a Ferrari?ā€Ā 
ā€œI dread to think the state her house will be in soon,ā€ you sniggered.Ā 
As guilty as Charles wanted to feel, seeing how excited your niece was about her gift made it all worth it for him. ā€œI might have to go and apologise otherwise sheā€™ll never speak to me again.ā€Ā 
ā€œWell, youā€™ve definitely won the competition for best present this year,ā€ you joked, slipping your hand into his. ā€œShe wonā€™t be mad at you for too long anyway, she adores you, my whole family do to be honest.ā€Ā 
ā€œTheyā€™re awesome,ā€ Charles encouraged, ā€œIā€™ve never known a group of people to make me feel so welcome in my life, I feel like Iā€™ve always been here with you guys.ā€Ā 
ā€œNow youā€™ve got no choice but to be stuck with us too.ā€Ā 
ā€œIā€™m not complaining,ā€ Charles noted, pulling you up from where you sat, twirling you around and letting you fall into his lap. Charlesā€™ arms wrapped around your frame, allowing you to replace your niece in his hold.Ā 
ā€œSeems youā€™ve got a future as a driver coach too.ā€Ā 
Charlesā€™ head shook, unable to hide his excitement, knowing that over the next few days whilst he was home heā€™d be out playing with your niece, showing her the ropes of the new car that heā€™d bought her.Ā 
ā€œHow does it feel to officially be an uncle?ā€ You grinned, pressing a kiss against Charlesā€™ cheek.Ā 
ā€œIt feels pretty special indeed.ā€Ā 
Ė—ĖĖ‹ šŒš€š’š“š„š‘š‹šˆš’š“ ! Ā“ĖŽĖ—
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sunderwight Ā· 1 year ago
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AU where there's no system (or a decidedly less restrictive one) and Shen Yuan transmigrates into an OC rogue cultivator before the start of the novel, and decides he's gonna steal the protagonist before Luo Binghe even gets to Cang Qiong.
The logic is sound -- he'll keep Luo Binghe from experiencing neglect and abuse at Shen Qingqiu's hands, raise him away from the pressure of the sects and the likelihood that anyone else might find out about his heritage and try to harm him over it, keep him fully away from the Immortal Alliance Conference, and then Luo Binghe's course will change trajectory because he'll have no reason to want revenge against the world and no access to Xin Mo. Shen Yuan will be able to spare Luo Binghe some suffering and possibly survive in a world less subject to the harrowing whims of a half-mad tyrannical overlord. Win-win!
However, the tricky bit is that he's not sure exactly how far ahead of the novel he is, and also Airplane didn't specify where Luo Binghe grew up. This means that Luo Binghe could be any age younger than twelve and in any number of places along or near to the Luo river.
Shen Yuan decides he's going to approach this by pretending he is looking for the long-lost son of his sister, traveling through the likeliest areas, asking after abandoned children who might fit the protagonist's description. It's a long shot, he knows, and he's mostly relying on the existence of Narrative Destiny. But eventually he is directed by several people towards a particular city, which is not as close to the river as he'd have expected Luo Binghe to grow up, but then again he only knows that was where baby Binghe was found, not where the washerwoman who took him in ultimately lived.
It becomes clear to him, though, that he's been sent to the wrong target. But also why he's been sent astray is apparent in nearly the same breath, because among the slave children living in this area is a little boy who could be his much younger clone.
Seriously, this kid looks just like him! Or, well, close enough. He looks a lot like Shen Yuan's actual nieces and nephews from his past life. It's uncanny.
Also, because of his search, the slave kids get wind of what he's looking for (his long-lost nephew) pretty quick. The boy with the obvious resemblance to him greets Shen Yuan's own assessment with wary cynicism, but he's just a little boy. So it's not difficult to notice the way he's also practically vibrating with hopefulness, half-hiding behind a protective older kid and looking at Shen Yuan with big dark eyes like he expects to be rescued or destroyed with whatever he has to say next.
Shen Yuan has a big problem now. He just knows that if he says something like "actually no this boy is too old to be my nephew" or whatever other excuse, no one will believe him, and also this poor kid is going to be permanently scarred by it. He's going to think Shen Yuan is lying just so that he can reject him. On top of that, he's not in a good situation here. None of these children are even remotely well cared-for.
Shen Yuan's rogue cultivator self isn't rich on the level of being like a wealthy sect leader or anything, but he's made some money since transmigrating by doing random cultivator jobs and quests along the way here. He uses it all to purchase two little slave boys (Do Not Separate), then takes another job and uses that coin to acquire a somewhat rundown manor which used to belong to the local gentry. The Qiu family (rings some bells but that's not exactly an uncommon name) kept it up for a while in case a branch family sprung up in need of a residence, but they've been in decline and the place is downright decrepit, so they had been looking to sell it instead. It's too big for a wandering bachelor like SY to ever need on his own account, but that's sort of the idea. He makes more money taking on cultivator work, at first taking his boys along with him for lack of any alternative. Nerve-wrackingly dangerous! Eventually he hires workers to start restoring the manor, particularly setting up a yard to be a school area, and then starts taking on any freelance jobs he can get in order to steadily buy out the contracts on all the other kids. He gets it nice enough to house and care for as many orphans as he can acquire.
Not because he's a big old softie though!
His story of looking for his nephew is a bust now, since he's apparently "found" the kid. So he's got to change tactics! If he can't find baby Binghe and the washerwoman, the next best approach is to create an opportunity for them to come to him. So once he's got his new household established, he starts offering free lessons to all the local kids. Not just the ones he's taken in, but also any who come by and want to learn some things. It's a tempting setup for anyone who wants their child to get education but can't afford a tutor, and Luo Binghe's mother had been entirely the sort of person who would have packed up and left her situation if there had been an opportunity for it.
On that note, SY also starts hiring single mothers to help look after his new gaggle of children and do the work he doesn't know how to do in these times, like keeping house, laundry, cooking, actually raising kids, etc.
His "little school" is not universally popular. A few groups try and ruin him, because the poverty in the region provides a basis of business for them. The ringleaders of the human traffickers in the area don't want their trade to dry up, even if it means selling all of their merchandise for this round, so when they find out that their underlings let Shen Yuan buy off all the kids they try and intimidate him into returning them (it doesn't go well for them). The Qiu family also isn't thrilled after it becomes clear what he's doing, and get him investigated by the local authorities (read: use their bribed officials and local goons to try and interfere.)
When that doesn't work either the sects get involved, because the Qiu go crying to Huan Hua Palace that Shen Yuan is sketchy and is trying to establish his own sect. So Shen Yuan talks his way around the matter, and frankly the Qiu are small fish even if they're the biggest ones in the local pond, so HHP doesn't care to pursue things much further. (Read: SY could mop the floor with the disciples they sent to investigate him, and it's not worth it to piss off someone this mysterious and powerful just to bully some impoverished children.)
Shen Yuan is appalled by all this bullshit though. Trust the world of PIDW to make it so hard just for a guy to teach some poor kids how to read and do math!
It makes him dig in his heels about it, because he is at heart a stubborn bastard. The fires that once fueled a thousand angry screeds on zhongdian literature site is now aimed at the local magistrate. One of the women he's hired on has some dirt on the Qiu family, which leads SY to dig up some more until he eventually has enough to turn the tables on them. Local officials won't investigate because they've all been bought, but that in and of itself is of some interest to their superiors closer to the palace, and so SY arranges an investigation of his own that goes way further than he thought? Turns out there are some ugly skeletons in the Qiu closets, and the imperial investigator comes down on them hard.
Well, he can't say they didn't have it coming? Though he does feel bad for the children in the family, especially the oldest son, who gets hauled off to jail along with his father. At least the girl is sent to live with relatives. Maybe he should have done more to shield the minors in the situation...?
His kids tell him not to worry about it, though, that apparently young master Qiu was known to run people down in the streets and beat his servants and do other cartoonishly awful things. SY's not sure how much of it is true and how much of it is his little flock of fluffy sheep trying to ease his conscience, though they do all seem to take a lot of vindictive delight in the whole affair. Especially Nephew, who clings to his sleeves and loudly declares that the investigator should have publicly flogged the discredited nobles so that everyone could go watch, and then begs him for sweets as if that wasn't a creepy thing to hear come out of an eight-year-old's mouth. SY just sighs and tells him he can have something good when he finishes his calligraphy practice.
Of course, it's not exactly easy running what is basically an orphanage-slash-school (and maybe a budding sect...?), especially when pretty much all of the kids have been traumatized and faced stuff like rampant dehumanization, food insecurity, abuse, and neglect. Hiring single mothers soon becomes not only a plan to try and lure in Luo Binghe's mom, but an absolute godsend of an idea because SY has no clue WHAT he would do on his own about the discipline issues or emotional breakdowns or acting out that some of the kids get up to once it registers that they're in a safe enough place to unpack their baggage.
Apart from Nephew, SY's favorite kid is the one who came with him, the oldest of the flock of former slave children. He's the big brother of the group, the one who tries his best to look after the others and to not make any trouble himself. But even poor Little Yue is still just a kid who has been through too much, and he also eventually starts having some meltdowns and struggles with processing everything that has happened to him as a vulnerable child in an unkind world.
SY really didn't mean to start a trauma center for mistreated children!
Though, that's still not necessarily a bad thing for Luo Binghe to one day come across, provided he ever actually shows up...
Eventually, Shen Yuan does figure out that he must be ahead even of Luo Binghe's birth, though he still doesn't put together that he's interfered in the scum villain's backstory. Probably something even more amusingly obscure, like the creation year of some random artifact Luo Binghe used in some wife plot or other, tips him off and he mentally throws his hands up in the air. He's got to wait DECADES? Maybe he ought to try and find Luo Binghe's biological parents and just follow them around at this point!
Not that he can, now, though, because he has to make sure no negative IQ villains (who will probably just be cannon fodder for a subplot one day) decide to send goons to literally burn down his orphanage. Also if he's gone for too long his kids get upset. Probably because no one else is as weak to their puppy dog eyes and pleas for treats and toys as he is.
At least it gives him time to shore up his position, and train Nephew and Little Yue more extensively in cultivation. Despite his initial assurances to HHP that he was but a humble orphan wrangler who was only incidentally a cultivator, Shen Yuan does also teach the other kids some basic cultivation exercises. There are a few reasons for that.
One is just the principle of the thing. No, these kids don't all have the potential to become great immortals or anything, but they can still learn some of it and it's good for their health if they do. The only trouble is if they try and push too hard or attempt things beyond their range, and that's a risk with everyone who cultivates. Or even just exercises!
Another reason is that it helps stave off the jealousy that some of the kids have towards those with more cultivation potential. Teaching a lot of the basics all around makes it into just another topic at school. Some kids might not be as good at it as others, but those kids might also be better at math, or memorization, or board games, and while cultivation can open more doors to people as adults, for the children this is generally enough to satisfy their sense of fairness. Or at least reduce outbursts and fights.
Finally, the impression that any of SY's kids might be a cultivator also makes wicked people more reluctant to try and abduct or interfere with them. Cultivators are revered and nearly mythological figures in the public consciousness. It isn't difficult to see why, if even a rogue cultivator NPC like SY* can mop the floor with most random muggers (*Shen Yuan is not a normal rogue cultivator). Not many people want to risk bringing SY's ire down on them, but of those who might chance it if he wasn't around to immediately react, even fewer want to risk that the kids themselves could kick their asses.
Not knowing that only two of the orphans probably could in fact mop the floor with them helps keep all the rest safer, and is more believable when all of them can conduct themselves enough like disciples to fool anyone who doesn't know what to really look for.
Developments that surprise Shen Yuan but wouldn't surprise anyone else who is paying attention:
People start leaving unwanted babies and younger children on his doorstep. Not all the time, but more than once has he had to frantically find wet nurses and worry that he's changed things enough that some fishermen might just randomly drop the protagonist outside his gate, and he wouldn't even know because Binghe would be a literal infant??
Nephew (SJ) and Little Yue (Yue Qi -- only Shen Yuan calls him "Little", especially when he gets taller than SY by the time he's sixteen) are prodigies who get really good at cultivation, really fast, and between that and Shen Yuan's OP skills they completely warp Shen Yuan's ideas for what normal cultivation potential looks like. This would probably cause more problems if he wasn't teaching all the kids how to cultivate anyway, but means his students actually do kinda run the usual range of skills for a small sect.
SJ and YQ swiftly reach the point where they need more advanced equipment than just SY's teaching can provide, if they're going to keep building their skills. Gaining access to certain tools, aids, and materials (like spiritual swords) is a real hurdle though, and usually is for rogue cultivators (one of the major disadvantages of no sect affiliation.) Shen Yuan is hesitant to use stuff from the plot, since it's For Binghe, but he eventually caves and starts going after some things that he doesn't think the future protagonist will miss much. He also ends up buying stuff from HHP, since they're willing to sell things like spiritual tools and weapons if the price is right, whereas most other sects like Cang Qiong reserve them for members only.
They get an invitation to the Immortal Alliance Conference. Not the one where the Abyss opens up, obviously, the one where (originally) Shen Jiu reunited with Yue Qi and killed Wu Yanzi. Shen Yuan debates on going but the boys really want to, and things have calmed down enough that no one's trying to burn down the school whenever he leaves these days, so eventually he figures it'll be interesting to see some of the Cang Qiong characters and should be safe enough if he keeps his disciples close.
They don't run into young Yue Qingyuan or Shen Qingqiu on the trip, but Wu Yanzi does show up and get killed, and SY only hears about it and assumes they just missed all that action. (WYZ just got caught by some senior cultivators who recognized him and killed him to avenge some disciples he murdered.) Nephew and Little Yue do meet young Liu Qingge, Shang Qinghua, Mu Qingfang, and Su Xiyan though! Which gives Shen Yuan the opportunity to tell them all (mostly Su Xiyan) that if they're ever in trouble near his school, they can come to him for help. Hint hint.
This open invitation ends up being accepted broadly by a lot of traveling cultivators after the conference, who from then on treat Shen Yuan's school like a free motel whenever they're passing through. Plenty aren't even people SY met, but it seems his statement was taken as a general one to fellow righteous cultivators all around! Luckily, this has some advantages. Shen Yuan has no qualms running off anyone who tries to take unfair advantage of him or especially his kids or staff, and no shame in conscripting anyone who is decent enough to help teach his students, even if it's nothing to do with cultivating, and somehow word gets around and people start bringing school supplies, medicine, food, or other useful things along with them as gifts to help repay the hospitality. Young Liu Qingge comes by a lot on his way to and from various quests, or even seems to just turn up randomly sometimes (he comes to challenge YQ and SJ to fights), and SY's just like "I guess this is happening now" and teaches him to recognize the early signs of qi deviation and advises strongly against meditating in caves.
At one point a young Shang Qinghua turns up in one of the spare rooms, very obviously hiding an ice demon. Shen Yuan again is just like "I guess this is happening now" and shelters them until Mobei Jun has recovered, and sends a message to Cang Qiong that one of their An Ding caravans was attacked and their disciple is recovering under his roof but isn't well enough to travel yet. Much less stressful situation for Airplane (who is desperately trying to figure out what he did to manifest SJ's benevolent uncle from somewhere???)
Su Xiyan seems like the only person they met at the Immortal Alliance Conference who doesn't turn up at their door in a state of emergency at some point.
A few years later, there is a big scandal involving her and the demon emperor. Su Xiyan disappears, Huan Hua Palace accuses Tianlang Jun of plotting against the righteous sects, and Shen Yuan is even invited to the meeting where they try and rally everyone to go kill Binghe's dad. Naturally, he declines to participate in the witch hunt, but the major sects agree to it. By luck (or narrative fortune) Shen Yuan comes across Zhuzhi Lang on his trip back home, and mentions the ambush and his distaste for it (not knowing who ZZL is). ZZL warns Tianlang Jun and the confrontation goes very differently, especially since there's no Yue Qingyuan wielding Xuan Su.
It doesn't go well for the sects involved. Huan Hua Palace gets decimated. The Old Palace Master gets killed. Shen Yuan is like uhhhh that's... whoops? Didn't Luo Binghe need that in the future?? Fuck.
But the sect isn't wiped out completely, they just take a massive beating. Some of their younger disciples end up leaving and turning up on Shen Yuan's doorstep, for some reason. The manor house is becoming too small to account for all of these foundlings! They have to expand. Though the expansions would be a stretch to term a "palace" they end up occupying a much larger chunk of territory, and even investing in farmland and some storehouses to help support the sect. That's still not really a sect, of course. Even if a lot of the business that would have normally gone to Huan Hua Palace starts coming to them instead. Once HHP is back on its feet the stream will probably dry out. Probably?
Zhuzhi Lang starts hanging around. He's actually looking for Su Xiyan or their baby, dead or alive and per Tianlang Jun's instructions, but he uses Shen Yuan's school as base camp for his kind of hopeless efforts to find any traces of them, while also looking for ways to try and repay Shen Yuan. All the kids are just like "oh great, another weird man has fallen in love with Shizun -- someone go run interference" about it.
Some years later, an older woman and her young son turn up. Shen Yuan's off on a quest at the time, so SJ receives them. As is standard procedure he gives the woman a job and places the boy in classes, after giving him the aptitude tests. The kid is cute and precocious, so SJ uses him to distract YQ while he himself sneaks out to go join LQG on a monster hunt (and claim the valuable parts of the beast's remains for himself), and neither SY nor ZZL notice anything until SY's going over the paperwork for stuff he missed while he was gone. Since he procrastinated, it takes him like a week to find out that Luo Binghe is finally under his roof. He's going over the admission form right when SJ arrives with The New Adorable Child to try and distract SY enough that SY will let him go on a solo hunt -- as far as being distracted goes, it is way more effective than even SJ anticipated.
Then he has to figure out how to let ZZL know, so that ZZL can let Tianlang Jun know, so that Luo Binghe will have more family than just his mom and more resources than just a shabby little not-sect! But even once he figures it out and sets up the dramatic reveal, TLJ is just like "great! so can he just stay with you? he's probably fine there" which... irritates SY.
SJ fully conscripts Luo Binghe as a minion in his many cons. He never lost his street kid conman tactics, although he now uses them less as a ruthless survival tool or weapon and more to just get things to go his own way. LBH has the face and disposition of a little angel, which SJ no longer can pull off as a full grown adult, so he fills a gap. LBH also knows full well what's going, especially since a lot of SJ's tactics involve throwing LBH at SY like a smoke bomb.
Luo Binghe inevitably still develops a big fat crush on SY, so this is fine by him. Especially when he gets older, he starts bringing SY tea and making him breakfast and running his errands until even SJ is like "wait a minute, this little brat's stealing my job!" and by then it's too late. Luo Binghe is SY's personal assistant, the disciple at conman puppydog eyes has surpassed the master! While SJ was busy being like "I'm going to trick this idiot into doing my chores" LBH was going "I'm going to trick this idiot into giving me his job".
SY takes too long to officially name his school so everyone calls it the Shen Sect, much to his embarrassment.
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my-castles-crumbling Ā· 3 months ago
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spot - November 2nd - jegulus - @stag-microfic - word count: 305
Shortly after arriving at Hogwarts, James developed the habit of learning spells specifically to help others.
In first year, for example, he'd seen the way Sirius had sat in his bed, stifling his tears as he tried to hide his misery while reading letters from home. A few days later, he was able to sit next to him, wave his wand to cast a Silencing Charm, and hold his new friend while he cried.
In second year, Peter was embarrassed by all of the pimples that developed on his face. It only took James forty-eight hours to each himself a simple Spot Removing Spell.
And, of course, in third year, all of them started learning how to be Animagi. That one had taken exponentially longer, but it was worth it to help Remus with his transformations.
It seemed even as he started his last year at Hogwarts he was memorizing any spell that might help someone in need. Hair curling and straightening charms for Sirius and the girls, hexes to wake up seventh years who had been up late studying, even a tricky little spell to find the things Alice was constantly losing. He just liked to make people's lives easier.
Sometimes, though, he forgot about himself.
Luckily, he had someone who remembered.
"Hey, love," Regulus mumbled to him, joining him where he was studying in the library.
"Hey," James murmured, trying in vain to wipe a spot from his glasses.
Regulus, however, plucked the glasses from his hand and flicked his wand before returning the now-spotless specs back to him. "There you go," he said with a small smile.
He gaped. "I never could get that one," he admitted softly.
"I know," his boyfriend grinned. "I learned to it help you."
James couldn't even begin to find the words for how much that meant.
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dangopango00 Ā· 7 months ago
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GIVE HIM SOME ATTENTION
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What does he do when he wants some attention?
BLLK x S/O!GN Reader
Characters: Isagi, Bachira, Chigiri, Kunigami (Pre&Post WC), Gagamaru, Rin, Nanase, Sae, Shidou, Barou, Sendou, Nagi, Reo, Oliver, Otoya, Karasu, Yukimiya, Hiori, Kurona, Zantetsu, Raichi, Aryu, Kiyora, Kaiser, Ness (In that order)
CW: Suggestive as hell in Aiku & Otoyaā€™s parts, A little angsty in Shidou, Reo & Ness parts
A/N: Idk all of them toooooo well but theyā€™re all interesting to me so Iā€™d like to try also I excluded some people who are irrelevant in my mindscape (i'm so sorry) (Nagi is honestly lucky to be here with the flopism he has been displaying smh) Gagamaru my goat ntm on him also added Zantetsu in honor of him finally getting his cover art
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Yoichi Isagi
I think if heā€™s craving attention heā€™d probably be a bit hesitant because it's embarrassing for him to ask (since he likes a lot of attention so heā€™d be asking all day LOL). In order to save himself the embarrassment heā€™ll usually just hold your hand and give you a serious lookā€“ if he can muster that (sometimes if heā€™s feeling shy heā€™ll just put his hand on yours while looking away). Well when he does look at you he thinks heā€™s giving you a serious look but surely all you see is him giving you puppy eyes.
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Meguru Bachira
Oh if heā€™s craving attention YOU WILL KNOW. Heā€™d probably cling to you as if you were a missing part of his body he was trying to reconnect. Heā€™ll hug your arm or pepper you in kisses and heā€™ll seem way happier than usual because heā€™s just so glad to be around you. Heā€™s a bit ridonkulous he might even jump on you, making you both collapse to the floor, or if youā€™re in a place with a hard floor heā€™ll instead pull you towards him and squeeze you like a giant teddy bear.
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Hyoma Chigiri
Heā€™s a bit tricky honestly. He has a good amount of pride so he doesnā€™t like to seem too clingy but that doesnā€™t mean heā€™ll back down if he feels like heā€™s being neglected. If he wants attention heā€™ll try to make you the one whoā€™s embarrassed and craving attention by flirting subtly though incessantly. Heā€™ll wrap his arm around you and lightly ghost his thumb over your skin or even ā€˜innocentlyā€™ kiss your jawline and then just as quickly as he started, heā€™ll stop and go back to whatever he was doing before so youā€™re the one asking for attention from him now.
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Rensuke Kunigami (PRE Wild Card)
Honestly? Upstanding young man ass dude heā€™ll probably just start giving you attention until you reciprocate. Heā€™s stubborn too so you know he wonā€™t stop until you give in unless youā€™re seriously not in the mood for whatever reason. Heā€™ll sneak up behind you and hug you and start kissing up your neck; eventually turn your head so he can kiss you on the lips if youā€™re willing to indulge him. The kind of guy whoā€™d just lay up in your arms and gently lay you down with him after a long day.
Rensuke Kunigami (POST WC)
Ok I know he SEEMS insanely different but tbh I donā€™t think heā€™d change all that much. Heā€™s probably a little bit more socially awkward because for a while all heā€™s done is train with little social interaction. When he wants attention, I think heā€™d likely use the same tactic but in a different way. Heā€™d probably nip your neck or shoulder (not painfully; he is trying to be playful) and when it gets your attention, heā€™d start to pepper you in kisses or lay his head down on your shoulder if it's been a long day.
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Gin Gagamaru
I donā€™t have a great grasp on this guy (despite being one of my goats šŸ„¹) but I think heā€™d probably have like mannerisms for it like pointing at where he wants to be kissed and kisses you back when you oblige him. He also seems like the kind of guy whoā€™d bring you something from his journeys in the wilderness as like a homemade gift and hopes youā€™ll give him the attention he seeks in return (you can definitely tell because he just stares at you as you open the gift, hoping you like it and then continues to stare expectantly when you do like it)
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Rin Itoshi
Imo if Rin decided to get into a relationship with someone heā€™d dedicate himself to them just as he does soccer because he wouldnā€™t want them to be hurt the way he was hurt (someone you love acting coldly towards you) but he doesnā€™t really know how without cringing. SO his way of asking for attention would be somewhat sweet although awkward. I think he would likely try to do some semi romantic gesture like laying his head on your shoulder/in your lap (although heā€™s pretty tense) or just making general contact like touching knees or brushing fingers together and will absolutely WHIP his head away if you look at him.
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Nijiro Nanase
Nanase is just a guy; another upstanding young man. I think he would probably flatter you if he wanted attention. Heā€™ll probably start talking about the things he likes about you and how much he loves you, giving you a kiss on the cheek along with his praise as well. He is very aware of the fact that you think heā€™s the cutest thing to hit planet Earth and he will use it to his advantage!! Of course, he means what he says but if saying it out loud will get him covered in kisses heā€™ll say as much as you want because heā€™s never gonna run out of things to say.
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Sae Itoshi
This guyā€¦ Is a real piece of work but, like his brother, I think if heā€™s willing to get into a relationship then that means he's willing to put in the effort but doesnā€™t know how, although he respects you a ton. If heā€™s craving attention I donā€™t think heā€™ll even realize it; heā€™ll just get really irritated when you arenā€™t around and when you are around heā€™ll stare you down so hard he could burn a hole through you but the fact that he doesnā€™t even look angry is what tips you off to what he wants. The look in his eyes isnā€™t insanely soft but it's not a hard stare either, he looks like he's daydreaming or zoning out tbh.
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Ryusei Shidou
If Sae is a piece of work this dude is a whole project. Itā€™s easy to say heā€™s like Bachira, which he is during the day, but I think itā€™d be more interesting to talk about him during the night. When the day comes to an end he said he ā€œbecomes nothingā€ so I think it would be the number one time where he craves attention and validation that he exists and youā€™re really there. Itā€™s a somewhat vulnerable time for him but he plays it off like heā€™s just his usual clingy self and probably places himself in front of you at any opportunity. Looking down? Heā€™ll lay on your lap. Facing forward? Well here he is in front of you. And by the time itā€™s finally time for bed he's completely wrapped his body around yours.
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Shoei Barou
Itā€™s kind of hard to imagine how heā€™d show affection in a relationship buttt I think similar to Kunigami, I think he would just give you attention until you give in. However, I think Barou is probably a bit more aggressive about it and heā€™d probably go up to you and kiss you, then pull away just enough to await your next move. If you take too long to decide though heā€™ll start kissing around your face: on your nose, your forehead, etc. Heā€™s pretty bold but he is a tiny bit embarrassed/hesitant when it comes to feeling ā€˜softā€™ with you so heā€™ll kiss you to distract himself from it.
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Shuto Sendou
This guy is peak loserboy activity whew he is a huge sucker for being spoiled so he wants attention OFTEN. I think he probably just stands really close to you and complains about how his day was soooooo horrible and how he worked so hard but if being standoffish isnā€™t working he holds onto your waist for dear life or plops himself on your lap and hugs you, waiting for attention when he gets desperate. If heā€™s super desperate heā€™ll start kissing around your neck and complain even more. He even starts to say how betrayed he feels at how easily youā€™re ignoring his woes.
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Seishiro Nagi
Heā€™s pretty efficient in the way he shows he wants attention. Since heā€™s the spoiled type heā€™ll usually try to get your attention the normal way first: acting cute and laying his head on your shoulder or on your lap while he plays his game (he is expecting you to play with his hair) but if you donā€™t heā€™ll honestly be confused at first because heā€™s usually given whatever he wants. At first heā€™ll try to put your hand on his head but if you keep taking it away heā€™ll make you lay down with him and literally try to immobilize you by putting all his weight on your body; will even pretend to be asleep if you protest.
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Reo Mikage
Heā€™s a lot bit codependent so if heā€™s feeling neglected heā€™ll do everything he can to get your attention. Heā€™ll usually shower you in gifts and/or take you on a romantic date. Heā€™ll plan out a whole ass day of pampering just because he wants some attention. Please remind him he doesnā€™t need to do. All that. Because he often feels a bit useless if he doesnā€™t have time to do that. Not only does he feel useless but heā€™s somehow convinced himself subconsciously that he doesnā€™t really deserve your attention if he hasnā€™t done anything for you.
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Oliver Aiku
If he wants attention from you, heā€™ll give you an insane amount of attention. Unlike Kunigami and Barou, heā€™s very forward and will text you, showering you with sweet words while heā€™s on his way to yours and when he gets there, heā€™s practically already all over you. Heā€™s going on about how much he loves you and how he missed you so much all while kissing you wherever he can reach you. Tbh if he's craving attention, he probably just wants to have sex since heā€™s not a very clingy guy so he's probably already backing you into a wall and trying to undress you.
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Eita Otoya
Honestly his appeal to others is usually him being the ā€œcold but caringā€ type so, like Aiku, heā€™d probably text you before getting to yours but itā€™d be even more bare bones like, ā€œi miss youā€ or ā€œcan I see uā€ even if he DOES genuinely like you he doesnā€™t really think deeply about his feelings and impulsively texts you when he wants attention. Unlike Aiku, he is a clingy guy and if heā€™s really desperate for attention heā€™ll still escalate it to sex if he can; just slower. Probably wants to lay his face in your chest or lap and makeout.
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Tabito Karasu
Oh this smartass. Heā€™s probably similar to Hyoma in the fact that he makes sure it's you who wants his attention by pampering you one minute and acting like nothing happened the next. However he does tend to like smart people so if youā€™re smart enough to see through his hot-and-cold act heā€™ll eventually hold you and hide his face in your chest, admitting defeat but heā€™d still be smiling because either way he wins. Heā€™s already got you and he won't let go until you fill the quota of kisses you owe him.
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Kenyu Yukimiya
Heā€™s the type to feel a bit embarrassed about wanting attention at first but will be more forward if you donā€™t pick up on his subtle hints. His hints include sneaking glances at you or holding your hand whenever he gets the opportunity. Heā€™s honestly pretty charismatic so I think that when being more forward he would probably kiss your hand and help you with anything you may need to get done or finish anything he may need to do so that you can completely focus on each other when thereā€™s nothing left.
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Yo Hiori
Honestly craving attention is a somewhat rare occurrence for him so it's a bit embarrassing, especially since you two are used to kinda doing your own thing. Probably gives you little ā€˜hintsā€™ like starting off by asking if you want to play a game with him as an excuse to get you close to him. Another hint would likely be him invading your bubble whether it be by scooting close to you or hooking his leg over yours a bit or whatever it may be. If you still arenā€™t getting it he probably says something that tips you off while looking directly at you or glancing at you like, ā€œDo you mind me being clingy?ā€ or something along those lines.
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Ranze Kurona
Heā€™s such a sweetie he probably braids your hair if it's long enough (if itā€™s short heā€™ll still try a root braid if you want but heā€™s not very good at it). If not heā€™ll usually get you both stickers to mess around with, putting some on your face, others on various items and sometimes you put them in random hidden places as a nice surprise when you find them again. Typically this is enough to get the attention heā€™s looking for, but if youā€™re teasing him or simply forgot, heā€™ll lightly nip your shoulder or lightly graze his teeth over your shoulder (Since you two got together you have definitely encouraged him to be comfortable with his teeth around you)
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Zantetsu Tsurugi
This guy often tries to be something heā€™s not so heā€™d probably try to do a bunch of romantic gestures that arenā€™t his style. Knowing him heā€™d probably put together some poems. They arenā€™t very good but it IS very sweet and heā€™d keep doing this for a while until the poems start to sound the same and he starts to get frustrated. Heā€™d try learning an instrument, impressing you with his knowledge on a subject you like etc. until eventually he would just force himself to suck it up and ask you for attention outright and just straight up admit how much you mean to him because all these other things are draining and they arenā€™t him.
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Jingo Raichi
Heā€™s another guy who finds it a bit embarrassing to be ā€˜softā€™ so when craving attention heā€™ll often ā€˜starveā€™ himself of it. Usually youā€™re the one who has to give him attention but if you havenā€™t for whatever reason then heā€™ll be angrier than usual that day with his teammates. Heā€™ll probably give up by the time he gets home and just crashes into you grumbling about how his day has been SO unsexy. Probably wonā€™t let you go until he falls asleep tbh and even then he still has a pretty good grip on you.
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Jyubei Aryu
When he wants attention Aryu would probably start flaunting his beauty, pushing his hair back, striking poses, modeling clothes for you, whatever stylish thing he can think ofā€“ he will do it and then glance over at you to make sure you were paying attention. If that doesnā€™t work then heā€™d have you do some stylish things like he might have you try on some clothes he bought you or ask you to style his hair because he is ā€œlacking inspirationā€ (He actually just knows you like playing with his hair smh)
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Jin Kiyora
This dude is a freak, it's a lot bit funny. When he wants attention he probably asks you to watch a movie with him (Youā€™re already suspicious that he didnā€™t put on Fight Club for the umpteenth time or another action movie). He honestly put it on as background noise and thought it looked boring so heā€™d probably just tell you to lay down with him and lightly kiss you until you get the picture (Spoil him). Can and WILL turn the movie off and hide the remote if you neglect him smh (He will not enjoy the returned energy next time he wants to watch fight club so for both of your sakes just give him some kisses).
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Michael Kaiser
Complicated individual, rightfully so. If he wants attention heā€™d simply demand it. Bye. He would likely just pull you towards him without any further commentary, he might even look a bit annoyed. If you didnā€™t know him youā€™d think he was in a bad mood and upset with you but you know how he gets. However, heā€™s more clear when itā€™s been a long day and heā€™s feeling a bit beat down or unsure of himself. Heā€™d just shove his face into your back or your midsection and let you play with his hair as he conks theee fuck out.
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Alexis Ness
Another complicated individual whew. What is up with these codependent purple dudes who found the worst possible person to depend on? Ness has yet to find a relationship where he is properly loved and not essentially abandoned so if he feels like youā€™re slipping away heā€™ll panic and do everything in his power to convince you to keep him around. He needs a lot of reassurance tbh and spends a lot of his time in your arms. When heā€™s craving attention heā€™ll usually just be sulking around all day like a sad wet cat. Every now and again he turns to look at you wistfully and walks past very slowly like that damn homeless ant. Show him some love he needs it now more than ever ayayayay.
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see-arcane Ā· 2 months ago
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You know the one good thing about being a pessimist?
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It feels great to be proven wrong.
Bravo, Bobby Egg.
I was so happily surprised by this. This film went through a fantastic puberty between the leaked script and the screen. The main points to note:
-No, Ellen is not hot for Count Orlok. She and Thomas are 110% in love. There are even certain Harker-flavored quotes thrown in to prove as much. (Details under the cut.)
-Count Orlok is a terrifying bastard and a half. Significantly more imposing than classic Orlokā€™s spindly rigor mortis-stiff figure and only wearing a sliver of Draculaā€™s performative charm. He is a Devil-Death archetype playing a monster who operates in deceit and contracts to wring out what he wants. That and a lot of corpses.
-This film is so beautiful. No gothic touch is skipped.
In sum, I more than like this film. I love it. It isnā€™t perfect, because no film can be, but damn. I am so proud of this nightmare you made, Bobby Egg.
SPOILERS FOR Nosferatu (2024) BELOW
-Getting some cons out of the way. There are points where a few of the actors lean maybe a bit too heavy on the ham-and-cheese in their deliveries (Iā€™ll not blame the kids, theyā€™re very young, but yeesh. Thatā€™s some cartoon acting.)
Yes, the g-slur is still used; though while I wish it hadnā€™t appeared in Eggersā€™ script at all, it does make sense within the context of the setting, i.e. Thomas and the Innkeeper probably only having the one word they know, same as in Dracula. And yes, naked teenage girl-on-a-horse does happen for the vampire hunt scene. Whee.
-Now, an early pro: Eggers nixed the ā€˜hot teen girl tries to pickpocket Thomasā€™ bit, and the ā€˜land of phantoms and thievesā€™ line never happens. All that happens after Thomas wakes in the innā€”post witnessing the vampire slaying in the local graveyard, mud on his shoes to prove it was realā€”is he discovers himself utterly alone. No people, no horse. Cue the long walk.
-Ellen doing the ā€˜Come to me,ā€™ bit early on is her in adolescence. Itā€™s revealed that her Weird Girl elements have been turned up to 11, tragic lonely past included (replete with dad threatening to send her to a madhouse), and her prayer was just for company. The psychic ping was picked up by Orlok, who took advantage, turning an isolated and desperate barely-more-than-a-kidā€™s wish into a ā€˜covenant.ā€™
-Thomas was met not long after this, cue them being genuinely in love <3
-Knock Does Not Jerk Off On Screen. If he does, his back is to us, and Little Knock is covered with some occult tablet or suchlike while heā€™s doing his ritual business. Also he kills a guy in his cell. Using his teeth.
-Castle time! Thomas is greeted by a driverless carriage at a crossroads and seems to be hypnotized into stepping in. A lot of things Thomas does once in Orlokā€™s territory seem to very clearly have psychic puppet strings attached. That and some increasing terror on Thomasā€™ part. There is no warm Dracula-style welcome from Orlok when he arrives, but a terse and strange leading to the dinner table where paperwork is demanded.
- We get a glimpse of this version of the Countā€™s ego. Thomas calls him sir. Orlok demands Thomas address him as my lord. And then we get the bread cutting scene. Thomasā€™ thumb bleeds. Orlok get far too interested. His voice, a very guttural and rasping bass, turns into something closer to an animal trilling and growling. Thomas is paralyzed beside the fire; cut away as Orlok closes in.
-Ellen and Anna Harding have a bit of a Mina and Lucy deal going on at the beach. Itā€™s sweet <3 (Prepare for pain </3)
Ā - Orlok starts getting tricky. He 1) borrows (steals) Ellenā€™s locket from Thomas and 2) Tricks Thomas into signing a contract to ā€˜sellā€™ Ellen/break their marriage via a strange contract in a language Thomas canā€™t read, with Orlok using the prop of some gold to imply that this is merely a document in ~his native language~ to complete the property sale. Thomas signs, less for the gold than to be gone from the castle and back to Ellenā€¦only for Orlok to insist Thomas is not well. He must stay the night.
- No mind games here. Just Thomas pleading to leave and Orlokā€™s parting word being that he will stay, and that he will obey his orders.
-Orlok has already chomped Thomas on the tiddy as of last night. Next night, after Thomas almost lands a blow on him in the coffinā€”Orlok sleeps with his Orcock out in the box, by the way, alongside several ratsā€”Orlok wills Thomas to unlock the door he shut between them. Cue Thomas being tranced onto the bed, pounced on, and basically dry-humped by Orlok as he drinks Thomas all but dry. Thomas is left that way, only to be woken by Orlokā€™s wolvesā€”he has those too!ā€”and go clambering out the window, dropping to the river below.
-Orlok makes Ellenā€™s life hell. Holy fuck. The 1838 quality ā€˜medicineā€™ definitely doesnā€™t helpā€”corsets for correcting posture, draining blood because thereā€™s too much in there, binding to the bedposts to stop sleepwalking, general drugging etc etcā€”but FUCK. Lily-Rose Depp did a great and terrible job of reproducing shaking fits and some of the faces and sounds she made had me thinking I might choke on my own tongue. And for all the sexually provocative poses/noises that happen, every time she comes out of it itā€™s clear that she hates this. Itā€™s on par with psychic rape.
-The only times we see Ellen respond positively~ to Orlokā€™s dream-advances is when sheā€™s telling Thomas about the ā€˜marrying Deathā€™ dream where everyone died and she was deliriously happy and then the infamous trailer line about Thomas not being able to satisfy her as Orlok can~~~
Well guess what.
Guess fucking what.
That was Orlok leaning on her brain. The same way he did to Thomas when, eventually, after the nuns rescue him and pray the plague/vampirism out and he makes it home while half-dead, he lays in bed with Ellen and gets a panic attack combined with Orlokā€™s image being grafted over Ellenā€™s faceā€¦
ā€¦a reverse of the illusion Orlok gave him in the castle, with Thomas imagining it was Ellen on top of him instead. The effect terrifies Thomas all over again and he unwittingly tosses Ellen away, I can't breathe, get off of me, get off!
-Orlok does his murder snacking. Knock, who escaped, offers to find and kill Thomas to please the Count, literally on his hands and knees. Orlok calls him a dog and backhands him, insisting Ellen must be given, not stolen.
-Orlok has already visited Ellen by this time. He presses her to keep her deal with him. She tells him, flat out, I abhor you. In response, Orlok grabs her and chucks her like a ragdoll in a rage. He fumes, telling her he will give her three nights to pledge herself to him, and in the meantime he will start killing. (RIP to Anna and her little girls, the latter of whom ORLOK KILLS IN FRONT OF HER, EATING THEIR THROATS OUT AS SHE ENTERS THEIR ROOM.)
-Before all that, he spins bullshit about Thomas ~selling her to him for mere gold~. A technical truth that Ellen, mid-Orlok spell, spits back at Thomas amid a rage, along with details that are likewise based in only a granule of reality; but which Orlok did not mention in their scene together. Things like Thomas being weak and childish, that he ā€˜fell into Orlokā€™s arms like a fainting woman.ā€™ Interesting choice of spin there, Orlok. But whatever.
This all culminates in what is either reality or a dream or a blend of both as Thomas makes sudden desperate love to her, Ellen weirdly heady about it, telling him yes yes yes they will show Orlok their love. Cue her snapping back to full cognizance (awake? dreaming?) as her eyes and mouth spurt blood in a vision. She collapses in fear and tears as Thomas holds her. AND THEN:
-Ellen. Drops. The I am unclean line. She wants Thomas away from her, she is not worthy, she puts him in danger.
-Thomas goes full Jonathan and clings to her. Nonsense. I love you. I love you. I love you.
-V i n d i c a t i o n
-Anyway.
-Dafoe-Von Franz-Van Helsing is a kooky science occultist. Finds a book that Knock had which fills the role of highlighting Orlok as Solomonari (hey, Scholomance shout out!) and Knock as a would-be beneficiary. Also includes the ā€˜maiden offers her body and blood to the monster to kill it via sunriseā€™ bit.
-While he reads this, he does NOT actually spell any of these details out to Ellen when they have their secret mini talk about tricking Thomas into hunting for the coffin with him and Sievers. He gives her a big ~you're the only one who can save us magic maiden martyr~ pep talk, but that's it. Meanwhile, Ellen was already preparing to offer herself to save Thomas and whoeverā€™s left in Wisborg. Not the same kind of agency as the original, but still better than I was expecting.
-Harding, Thomasā€™ rich friend whose wife and children got drinked to death, dies of plague in the family tomb. They burn the bodies.
-In the ruin Orlok bought, cue the iron stake slamming down as they open the coffin..! But whoops. Knockā€™s in the box, not Orlok. Von Franz says Ellen offering herself is the only way~ Thomas doesnā€™t waste time throttling him, just makes a run for their home.
-Too late, of course. Orlok is there (with a very cool homage to the original stalking shadow silhouette routine) and Ellen welcomes him. While they are both naked in bed and itā€™s implied that they are/or intend to have sex, the bulk of the scene centers on Orlok taking Ellenā€™s blood from her breast. No clear shot of the Orcock on screen for that bitā€”Bobby Egg saved that pleasure for the Count flashing Thomas at the castle.
-Orlokā€™s death throes. Are so. Fucking. Cool. Definitely up there with one of the best vampiric demises Iā€™ve ever seen on film. No spoilers there. Youā€™ve got to see it.
-Heartbreak oā€™ Clock as Thomas bursts in just as Orlok has died and as Ellen is dying under him. Thereā€™s time for them to hold hands. And then sheā€™s gone.
-We close on Von Franz popping up with some poetic soliloquy shit and a bunch of lilacs. The final beat is an overhead shot of Ellen, the Maiden, laying under the now-skeletal Orlok, as Death. Looks almost like a painting. Unlike the implication in the leaked script, she does not look happy/at peace. Simply asleep. The End.
-Other important notes:
1) Orlok has a little comboverā€™s worth of hair on top and mighty and powerful ā€˜stache. Not Dracula-white, but it is there. Finally.
Ā 2) The guy who plays Dr. Sievers has Alan Rickmanā€™s voice. If he isnā€™t in opera, he should be.
3) I was too late to get a popcorn coffin box. I shall be in mourning until the New Year.
4) Bobby Egg if you can give me one more gift, let it be a deleted scene of Thomas beating Von Franz over the head with the iron stake, please and thank you <3
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itsthewritergal Ā· 1 year ago
Text
don't tell Bucky - B.Barnes x reader
Summary: Reader is broke and refuses to tell mob!bucky the extend of it
TW: fluff, happy ending, little swears, mention of money, getting fired, (think that's everything)
ENJOY!!
:)
Y/N was used to the biting cold in her apartment, it had been a long few months with her hours being cut down and bills piling up she was in debt. Badly. She had started cutting costs where possible, heating was the first to go, she had opted forĀ  not turning the heating on despite the freezing temperatures outside, food was the second thing to go, she had starting making meals stretch and eating less and slowly things seemed a little more manageable. The bills continued to pile up, yet things seemed a little easier. Every single penny was put to the side to clear her debt. She had been seeing Bucky as much as possible but she couldnā€™t talk to him about it, he would just offer to pay her debt off and then sheā€™d owe him for almost the rest of her life. She couldnā€™t ask him. She wouldnā€™t. Bucky had picked her up from work, it was a surprise, and something Y/N was grateful for as she wouldnā€™t have to pay for the bus home.Ā 
ā€œDo you want to stay at mine tonight?ā€ Bucky asked gently pressing a kiss to her cheek as they finished their heavy make-out session in the carĀ 
ā€œIā€™ve got work in the morning,ā€ She said softly, breath slipping through her lipsĀ 
ā€œCall in sickā€ Bucky said between kisses ā€œYou can go without one shift canā€™t you?ā€ Bucky askedĀ 
ā€œWeā€™re short staffed Buck, I need to be thereā€ She lied easily,Ā 
ā€œLet me come in? I just want to hold you tonightā€ He said softly pressing another kiss to her lips. Y/N nodded in agreement, how could she ever say no to an offer like that?Ā 
Bucky followed Y/N up the stairs to her apartment, she unlocked the door and was met by an icy breeze. Bucky shuddered.Ā 
ā€œWhy is it so cold baby? Your heating broken?ā€ He askedĀ 
ā€œHmm?ā€ Y/N asked turning around to face himĀ 
ā€œYour apartment Y/N, itā€™s coldā€Ā 
ā€œOh, sorry Buck I turned the heating offā€Ā 
ā€œFor good?ā€ Bucky asked closing the door behind him ā€œOr is it broken?ā€ He asked
ā€œOh, no I just turned it off whilst I was at workā€ Y/N said softly,Ā 
ā€œWhy would you do that?ā€ Bucky asked again pulling Y/N into an embraceĀ 
ā€œIt was just while I went to work Buckā€
ā€œThatā€™s not safe doll, you should keep the heating on so you donā€™t get ill, even when youā€™re not home. You need to come into a warm houseā€ Bucky said, Y/N resisted the urge to cry.Ā 
ā€œI usually do Bucky, it was just a one offā€ she said.Ā 
Bucky didnā€™t mention the heating again that night. Y/N was grateful for that small mercy. What he did mention was the mountain of blankets that sat on her bed.Ā 
ā€œDoll?ā€ He called from her bedroomĀ 
ā€œYeah?ā€ She replied coming into the bedroom, her eyes falling on Buckyā€™s metal hand clasping three blankets,Ā 
ā€œYou coming down with something?ā€ He asked ā€œI can call Banner to come and check on you if you want?ā€Ā 
ā€œOh Buck, no Iā€™m ok. Just get cold when youā€™re not hereā€ She said, it wasnā€™t a complete lie, just a small one. It made her feel a little better.Ā 
ā€œYou know you could just move in with me?ā€ Bucky offeredĀ 
ā€œDonā€™t be silly Bucky, weā€™ve spoken about thisā€ She said and Bucky stopped himself from starting an argument by pressing his lips to hers.Ā 
ā€” ā€” ā€”Ā 
The next few weeks were tricky. Y/N had started picking up more shifts than she could count which lessened her time to do anything; most of all see Bucky.Ā 
When one fateful day put Y/Nā€™s life into a tailspin,Ā 
ā€œY/N could you come into my office when you get a moment please?ā€ Her bossā€™s voice cut through the noise, and Y/N felt a panic run through her body,Ā 
ā€œIā€™ll come nowā€ She said quickly, hurrying behind the shorter lady, ā€œis everything ok?ā€Ā 
ā€œTake a seat Y/Nā€ She said, Y/N knew this wasnā€™t good, she never asked her to take a seat before, this had got to be bad news.Ā 
ā€œHave I done something wrong?ā€Ā 
ā€œNo, Y/N youā€™re one of the best workers we have hereā€ She said taking a deep breath ā€œbut we canā€™t afford to keep you on, with prices and wages going up weā€™re cutting down to less staff members and well itā€™s only fair that we let you go first. Youā€™ve got enough experience to get another job quickly whereas the others donā€™tā€Ā 
ā€œYou mean the others are cheaper because they are younger?ā€ Y/N said noticing the true meaning behind her words.Ā 
ā€œThat isnā€™t what we are doing Y/Nā€ her boss spoke halfheartedlyĀ 
ā€œWhen do I leave?ā€ Y/N asked dejectedly, knowing it was a loosing battleĀ 
ā€œTodayā€™s your last shift, you are let go without holiday pay or leave noticeā€ She said passing Y/N an envelope ā€œAll the necessary documents are in here, please hand your keys in at the end of the shiftā€Ā 
ā€œNo need to waitā€ Y/N said, pulling her work keys out her bag and putting them on the desk. Picking up the envelope, Y/N walked out.Ā 
The walk home was a cold one, not only because of the biting wind but Y/N felt empty, numb, like sheā€™d just been caught in the rain. She wanted to call Bucky, but after her neglect of him she knew that he was probably mad at her and calling him to cry would not be the best way to go. However, her ringtone cut Y/Nā€™s moping thoughts short,Ā 
ā€œHello?ā€Ā 
ā€œDoll, oh thank god. Steve just told me he passed you on the street, heā€™s turning around to pick you up so donā€™t go anywhere. Whatā€™s happened?ā€ Bucky askedĀ 
ā€œNothing Buck, Iā€™ll talk to you later, tell Steve not to worryā€Ā 
ā€œNo, heā€™s picking you up and you can come here or go home then come here, or just head home if thatā€™s what you want but Iā€™d rather Steve did it than you walk yourself doll okay?ā€ He saidĀ 
ā€œItā€™s going to happened whatever I say right?ā€ Y/N chuckled halfheartedly, the lack of reply on Buckyā€™s end confirmed it ā€œIā€™ll wait for Steveā€Ā 
ā€œGood girl, Iā€™ll see you soonā€ He said ending the call quickly.Ā 
As if on cue Steveā€™s car pulled into view,Ā 
ā€œHey Y/N, Buckā€™s waiting for youā€ He said opening the door for her,Ā 
ā€œThanks Steveā€Ā 
After a few quiet minutes Y/N answered the question which was burning in Steve's mind,Ā 
ā€œI got firedā€ She said quietly,Ā 
ā€œThey did what? Oh Buck wonā€™t be happy, how dare theyā€ Steve said forcefully,Ā 
ā€œThey canā€™t afford me apparentlyā€ Y/N chuckled sadlyĀ 
ā€œBullshitā€Ā 
ā€œPromise you wonā€™t tell Bucky?ā€ She askedĀ 
ā€œI wonā€™t lie to him if he asksā€ Steve said ā€œBut Iā€™ll divert attention so he doesnā€™t askā€ Steve agreed quietlyĀ 
ā€” ā€” ā€” ā€” ā€”Ā 
Y/N had avoided Bucky for another two weeks, she hadnā€™t meant to. But she had been sending CVā€™s, babysitting, dog walking and selling small handmade bits online. Anything possible to make some money, she was yet to receive an interview or even any interest. It seemed that everyone was full of employees or was hiring younger staff, there was no place for Y/N.Ā 
She had been dodging her landlord phone calls, and the electricity company and even a few others who she knew were angry that she hadnā€™t paid. Stretching her legs out wide on the floor she took a minute away from her laptop screen and picked up her phone.Ā 
ā€œIā€™m on my way, be there in 15ā€ Bucky had texted around 15 minutes ago, Y/N let out a panicked sigh and started picking up the mess around her to try and make herself look presentable for Bucky, she had to keep up appearances.Ā 
ā€œDoll?ā€ Bucky called through her apartment,Ā 
ā€œIn hereā€ She replied quickly shoving some dirty clothes at the bottom of her wardrobe,Ā 
ā€œHey dollā€ He said softly pulling her in for a kiss, not seeming to notice her dishevelled state.Ā 
ā€œHey Buckyā€ she pressed a kiss to his lips, something she had missed dearly.Ā 
ā€œI need to talk to youā€ Bucky said pulling her down to sit on the bed, she sat down with his hands gripped in hers as if he was about to disappear.Ā 
ā€œI know Iā€™ve been awful Buck, I havenā€™t spoken to you and Iā€™ve avoided you, please donā€™t be mad, Iā€™ve just been so stressed andā€”ā€
Bucky quickly cut her off ā€œIā€™m not breaking up with you Y/Nā€Ā 
ā€œYouā€™re not?ā€Ā 
ā€œNo, doll Iā€™m notā€Ā 
ā€œOhā€Ā 
ā€œI know whatā€™s going on Y/Nā€ he said sincerelyĀ 
ā€œNothingā€™s going onā€Ā 
ā€œDoll I knowā€Ā 
ā€œBucky nothing is going onā€
ā€œYou got fired, youā€™ve been trying to find another job, youā€™ve been dog walking, which Iā€™m not happy with because thatā€™s dangerous when you donā€™t know the dog or the owner, and youā€™ve been selling your adorably little crochet animals onlineā€ Bucky saidĀ 
ā€œYou got someone to follow meā€Ā 
ā€œYou started shutting me outā€ Bucky justifiedĀ 
ā€œFair enoughā€Ā 
ā€œDid I miss anything?ā€ Bucky askedĀ 
ā€œNoā€ Y/N said her eyes welling up with tears, she let go on Buckyā€™s hand to hide her face in them,Ā 
ā€œOh doll, come hereā€ Bucky said wrapping his arms around her, letting her cry all her stresses and troubles away onto his shirt, he knew once she had cried they would be able to talk through options properly.Ā 
ā€œIā€™m sorryā€ Y/N said with a sniffleĀ 
ā€œCan I finish what I was saying earlier?ā€ Bucky asked, Y/N nodded silently ā€œIā€™ve paid off all your debts, I did the landlord, electricity, water and that loan you took out, you can pay me back if you want to if you have the money, if not itā€™s my birthday present to you I know you wonā€™t accept it any other wayā€ He saidĀ 
ā€œBucky pleaseā€
ā€œItā€™s already doneā€Ā 
ā€œI should be able to do this better,IĀ  should be able to pay my fucking billsā€Ā 
ā€œNoā€ Bucky said calmlyĀ 
ā€œNo?ā€Ā 
ā€œNo youā€™re not doing that. You are doing as best as you can. And I refuse to listen to that shit. Now put on a nice dress, weā€™re going out to eatā€Ā 
ā€” ā€” ā€” ā€”Ā 
That night when Bucky and Y/N were laying in bed cuddled up to each other, Y/N decided to be braveĀ 
ā€œBucky?ā€Ā 
ā€œYes doll?ā€Ā 
ā€œDo you think I could move in with you?ā€ She asked pressing a kiss to his chest ā€œI donā€™t think I want to do this alone anymoreā€Ā 
ā€œDoll, Iā€™d be delightedā€Ā 
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blumineck Ā· 1 year ago
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Your videos are so awesome! Question about pole dancing:
I'm a trans man, and before I transitioned I did some aerial silks and trapeze at a school near where I lived. Then I transitioned, moved, and after a few years have wanted to get back into something similar. There are plenty of pole places around my house, but they're heavily oriented towards women. One's even marketed for ONLY women. I feel really weird about trying to attend classes as a man. Any advice?
OK, this is a tricky one. As this is anon, I need to post publicly, so here's some context for passers-by:
Pole dance is a heavily female-dominated activity, and because it's also frequently sexualised (either by design or by association), and requires fairly revealing clothing, many women feel less comfortable in classes with men. Some studios might then attempt to foster a safer environment by excluding men altogether (and even if they don't, the vast majority of students are usually female anyway, so pictures on the website, etc rarely feature men even if there's no actual policy).
And I GET all that. But also, I feel like it's ok for men to want to do pole too. I was literally drawn to pole in the first place BECAUSE it defied traditional gender expectations. So here's my advice, to you and any other men who might want to start:
1) Ask. Drop the studio an email, see if they take male students. The way they respond will tell you a lot about whether this will be a safe/welcoming space for you. It might feel weird and scary, but they don't know you yet, and if their answer is off-putting, they never have to!
2) Be prepared to be in a minority. Even if the studio is welcoming, you are unlikely to be in a class with more than 1 or 2 other men (at most!) and reasonably likely to be the only one. You may find different moves easy/hard, and you may find it takes a little longer for other students to relax/open up around you. This can be hard for some men who aren't used to that dynamic, but it /is/ a predominantly feminine space, so it's worth being thoughtful in how you approach things.
I'm not saying this to put you or anyone else off! IME most studios are happy to take male students, and most students are reasonably open and welcoming, and once you get settled, you can have a lot of fun and make lots of friends. As long as you check in and make an effort, I absolutely recommend giving it a go!
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