#Your suffering is difficult

[theanonymousninja247]

I hope to be as honest and real as this one day 🧡

keep going

[serpentface]

Question about Couya! Since she is a bastard what are the reasons about her being brought into the main family by her father. Was it genuine care for his child or a way to save face politically/socially? Is her birth mother alive? Do you think she would have had a better life growing up anywhere else?

This is in large part due to how cultural perceptions and legal punishment of adultery varies between male and female citizens, looped into the very strictly patrilineal kinship system.

By legal definition, the word for 'adultery' applies only to situations where a man has an affair with a married woman, or a married woman has an affair with any man. Other forms of affairs (eg a married man having an affair with an unmarried woman) are wrapped into a broader set of sexual misdemeanors and aren't often charged or punished in practice, and the punishments are comparatively minor (if an unwed woman's father pursues charges, the man in the affair is likely to just pay a fine). On a social level, extramaritial affairs in general are certainly not Approved of and seen as lowly and dishonorable, but the average response is significantly less harsh/more willing to entertain Nuance with men than with women.

In this society there's differentiated shades of bastardry depending on the contexts of the child's birth, as well as a distinction for 'nameless bastards' (has not been claimed by their biological father or maternal grandfather, or claimed in adoption).

a) A child born to an unmarried woman via an unmarried man: non-issue for father, potentially serious social harm for the woman (especially if she has never been married and expected virginal, much less severe as a widow or divorcee). The child will not be notably disadvantaged in of themselves (their status will depend more on whether they are claimed and thus provided the social security of a family patriarch), the father will experience no hard disadvantages in claiming them.

b) A child born to an unmarried woman via a married man: mild sexual misdemeanor for the father carrying levels of social shame, even more serious social harm for the woman (often framed as not just loose but a manipulative Seductress of a married man). The child might experience minor to moderate social disadvantages, the consequences of the father claiming them are purely social and will not typically be severe. (Couya is this)

c) A child born to a married woman via an unmarried or married man: both man and woman have committed a crime and can be severely punished. The biological father can technically claim the child but will be disincentivized from doing so. This is the form of bastardry most comparable to the conventional definition, in that it is heavily stigmatized and has effects on concerns of kinship and inheritance.

In addendum to this, if the adulterous wife's legal husband claims the child, this may be punishable if determined to be active concealment of adultery (which is also a crime), and has EXTREME social consequences either way. (Either you're a cuckold too stupid to notice that your wife has been skipping out on you, or you're a MEGAcuckold adultery-accessory willingly rearing another man's child after being horribly shamed by him).

(This is separate from adoption- a man who marries a woman with an unclaimed child after the fact (whether it was a product of adultery or just a general out of wedlock birth) and claims the child is an adoptive father, he is not concealing adultery or being cuckolded.)

A child born in an affair can be considered an heir to their biological fathers (descent and kinship is fully patrilineal and on a Basic level it doesn't matter who the mother is), and can very smoothly and legally be claimed when the affair was not considered criminal adultery. The concern on that front is social perception rather than material legal consequences or kinship issues.

Couya's birth mother was an unwed servant working as a housekeeper for her father Saizen, so the Crime of adultery did not take place. It would be considered a minor sexual misdemeanor, and the woman's father was not about to pursue charges against a nobleman who could Ruin him (and had also formally expressed that he would claim the child, which meant he would not be saddled with a nameless bastard granddaughter). So the concerns here were entirely social.

The affair might have started beforehand but the pregnancy that produced Couya occurred after his wife's third viable pregnancy ended in the premature birth of a underdeveloped boy deemed necessary to euthanize (and tbr would Not have survived either way). This was after Livya Haidamane had a couple early term miscarriages, two viable but very difficult pregnancies wherein one child was very weak and sickly for the first several years of life, and struggled to conceive every time. A lot of people are going to be at least a little sympathetic to a married man having an affair and claiming a bastard in this context. It's definitely ideal and practical to have more than two children, and his wife (while not outright infertile) clearly could not reliably bear healthy children. (The average response is going to be "Well he shouldn't have done it but like, I get it")

Couya being claimed by her father was a mix of genuine care and saving face. Initially it was MUCH more the latter than the former. Saizen made attempts to hide the servant's pregnancy and to keep his own wife out of sight during the late term (to prevent the baby appearing after his wife had been seen Extremely not pregnant). But there's some levels of care involved, he could very easily have fired the pregnant servant and had nothing to do with his bastard and she would have no recompense whatsoever. The choice to keep and claim the baby and ensure its entrance into the world bore as little social scrutiny as possible is an act of care for his own progeny.

This was Not an act of care for Couya's birth mother (beyond the fact that concealing her pregnancy would benefit her in hiding that she is not only Not a virgin prior to marriage but had a child). She probably would have been about 17-19 at the time and was fired a few months after giving birth, and most likely never saw Couya again after this point (if she did, it would most likely be in the context of seeing her as an adult Odonii in public and noting her to look Scarily familiar). She has an Okayish chance at still being alive, she'd be around 50 (and a person who survives the high infant mortality and birth casualty rates stands a good chance of hitting their 60s), though she could very well be a casualty of the drought+famine.

Whether or not Couya's life would have been better is kind of a mixed bag. She had an awful fucking childhood in large part because her adoptive mother Livya Haidamane hated her. (Livya was ultimately a pretty horrible person but not just like. An Evil Bitch. She had A Lot going on and Couya was a living breathing insult to her and reminder of like, every one of her dashed hopes and dreams). Couya is also autistic and presented very intense symptoms as a child in a society that is Not equipped for a mass-understanding and support of cognitive differences. But she still did have an immensely privileged life with profound physical/economic levels of security inaccessible to the vast majority of people in this region, including her birth mother. Saizen also actually Liked her and cared about her, he just wasn't a routine physical presence in any of his children's lives.

Had she been left with her biological mother, she would be in a very disadvantaged situation as a nameless bastard to an unwed mother. Her biological grandfather may or may not have been willing to claim her, and her mother would have great difficulties in finding a husband (which is ultimately necessary for the security of women in this society). I think her mother was a relatively kind person but not like, a perfect angel. She would probably have complicated feelings about her bastard daughter, especially one whose very existence materially disadvantages her and was very, very difficult as a child. So this probably would not have been a good situation for Couya either.

If you broaden the question to ANY other family completely divorced from the circumstances of her birth, yeah it definitely could have been better. But in her case it's like either "Life of grotesque socioeconomic privilege but in an abusive household" or "Life of profound socioeconomic disadvantages in a household that Probably wouldn't have been this abusive but certainly wouldn't be healthy". There wasn't really a good option for her.

[spaciebabie]

if you are someone like me who has trouble processing life events/mental health stuff create an oc. like. make a guy who's entire story is yours, who knows every inch of your suffering b/c they are you but maybe all their troubles stem from being in an intergalactic war with goob noobs or something. hurt them in terrible ways so that you dont hurt yourself.

[scarycranegame]

>be me, fan of specific character

>find a handful of fics that characterize him particularly well

>the authors are all antis

>fuck my stupid baka life.wav

>a few other fics are written by proshippers

>they're all either trollfics, hastily-written basic smut, or fics where he shows up for like 0.5 seconds

mfw

[pumpkinsforsale]

Op turned off reblogs which I don't blame them for. Please do not harass them over this.

Please vote. Please, please please vote I'm begging you. We can't let something as recent as 20 years ago repeat itself. This happened with Al Gore, where people wouldn't vote for the lesser of two evils so we got the worst option.

Biden is a gonnecidal monster who is responsible for hundreds of thousands of innocent people, the other option will do the same and more. All those dead bodies you've seen? You'll see more and more. Not voting is giving up. It's believing things couldn't possibly get worse. They can, they will. They will get so much worse, and when they do, will you be proud to say at least you didn't vote for the other guy? Will you hold your head high when even more racist policies are passed and even more children are slaughtered?

Is it a scare tactic to tell people to get vaccinated, because although it doesn't solve everything, at least fewer people will be killed. At least you are doing all you can.

This shit isn't easy. It's damage control, it's all we can do for now. To fight for a better future is to start somewhere. ANOTHER republican president is only setting us further back. Voting for biden isn't the end, it isn't a "oh well, the other guy is worse!" It's a dileberate step in the right direction. Like crossing a river of shit, it's easier to go back or stay put. Or you can start trudging through, accept you must move forward and take steps to do just that. Not voting is giving up, it's letting others decide what to do next. You're not making a stand, you're not helping anyone, you're laying down and accepting what happens.

Please vote. Please. If you still feel like you shouldn't, I need you to understand that sometimes doing something bad is the correct response when the only other option is something undeniably and astronomically worse.

Vote.

[redo-rewind-if]

Time for this week's report! Not much to add, so let's just get into it shall we?

Next Update (Chapter 3 & 4? Maybe?):

Intro Scene (if not on music fest route): 100%

Music Fest Routes (Solo, V, and Amara): 100%

Club Pyre Path: 78%

August Part 2 Electric Boogaloo: 0% (not started)

Avoid Death (Eventually?): 0% (not started)

Work Time! (End of Chapter): 0% (short outline, not started)

Inching closer to finally finishing the club path. Thankfully, I haven't decided to add anything else to the outline so here's hoping I can get it done and move on to the next section soon! 😊

[actual-corpse]

Just got a rude reminder about how great it is to never have children/ be an only child.

There's too much drama involved with dying, apparently.

[icewindandboringhorror]

"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"

I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming

[ratinthevoid]

why did i believe i can ever come out to her

[stormofdefiance]

2.2 spoilers //

He finally texted me back and I’m on my knees. Like I might actually cry - he wants to live 😭😭 ffffuck. HAPPY about being alive, FUCK - I can’t believe he just said that with his fingers aaaHHHHH. He’s worrying about being a bother but also actually SHOWING he’s insecure about it oh my god lay me down in the tall grass

[bumblingbabooshka]

Hiiiii just wanna say I rlly like your oc’s and I’ve got a question :> what was T’Rahni’hk’s birth like? I’ve got that one deleted scene from the first kelvin timeline movie abt Spock’s birth stuck in my head and I wonder what it would be like for people from a different area of Vulcan :)

Most births in her village are done at home or in the nearest temple. T'Rahni'hk was born at home so the doctor and a healer were called.

In my mind - a 'healer' is different from a 'doctor' in that healers are more spiritual and focus primarily on creating a calm atmosphere. For example, this healer lit incense and lead Vaklorvek through a meditative prayer. This is done so that the non-birthing partner's thoughts and emotions do not negatively affect their bondmate. They essentially become a non-entity, emitting only calm and a general familiarity/closeness.

(I headcanon that the wider practice is that bondmates don't stay with their birthing partner and instead immediately go home once they're in the care of doctors so that they can prepare the house for the incoming infant. It's seen as more caring to be useful than to be physically present. However, because the village is so small and the births usually take place at home it's seen as more useful to just be calm and be quiet while the birth is taking place.) While the healer leads the prayer - an attendant (the age of an attendant ranges from child to elder) assists the doctor with whatever's necessary. Sometimes the doctor will call an elder in the family to assist as well. If there's a problem with the child the doctor and the non-birthing partner will typically take them to the nearest hospital. T'Rahni'hk was a very typical baby! Everything went smoothly as far as birth goes. She was born in the middle of the night, she had haphazard tufts of hair and her mother sang her a lullaby which immediately made her stop crying and they slept together until the sun rose.

[gooboogy]

u shouldnt listen to people who tell you that it's good to be somewhat inconsolably miserable and hurting a lot so you can push yourself to do things to take care of yourself. every single therapist (and physical therapist) I've seen has told me the same thing: baby steps. take fucking baby steps. small achievable goals. if someone is telling you that it's good for you to suffer a lot and push through it they're probably [redacted] lol. if you are wanting to befriend yourself, a friend wouldn't want you to be suffering so much for them, truly

[dirt-str1der]

Quivering and hooking my fingers into my mouth and biting down hard on them sobbing because the anime

[vaguely-concerned]

there we go I'm pretty sure I've gotten all the endings of returnal, including the tower of sisyphus ones! amazing game, enthralling gameplay, stunning art direction, phenomenal pacing of introducing new environments and elements (this is maybe the thing that has me most impressed, actually -- it really felt like they found the perfect pace to take between letting you settle in with skill or place or element, and introducing a new one, there was this perfect sense of discovery and mastery that rarely got boring or overwhelming and had me in a constant state of pleasant surprise and intrigue), psychologically evocative story with some of the most deliciously insidious ludonarrative resonance I have ever seen, we must imagine selene if not happy (definitely not happy) then at least somehow at home in hell.

...and still somehow 11 days until veilguard releases :')

[meridiageek]

Reading two continuous mangas by Hiroma Arakawa at the same time is like taking double emotional damage. I love it but at the same time I suffer

[tomurakii]

I truly apologise but I've never found a character more irritating than Ruby Rocks. It is severely impacting my ability to watch a crown of candy because this bratty literally-the-embodiment-of-the-status-quo bitter bastard child won't stop sulking and being shitty to the only good surviving member of this royal bloodline (Saccharina).

The immediate Rocks family in general is so unsympathetic, I'm sorry but if you want me to feel bad over your personal growth journey you can't ALSO be a monarch who has absolute power over an entire nation-state. If you had literally the best education of everyone in your country and you're still an idiot I don't know what to tell you except that you're a resource hoarding pig who has not earned an iota of the power or luxury you have. They have SERVANTS and all they do is complain about going to class or doing their job. Hey if it sucks so bad demolish the state and redistribute your wealth <3 you won't <3